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remuswave · 4 years

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Good Little Girl: C! Niki x Blaze Hybrid! Reader

Summary: Niki has to retrieve supplies from (Y/N)’s land, who relentlessly flirts with her. She gets hurt, and (Y/N) saves her, not without a little teasing on their end, of course :)

Warning: Mentions of blood, probably strong language, suggestive remarks

Pronouns:They/Them

A/N: This is the first fanfic I’ve written so pls give me constructive criticism! I’d love to know how i can improve!

Divider by:@tenshiikisu

The crunch of the leaves under her feet did nothing to alleviate her annoyance with her predicament, having to go into her biggest annoyance’s territory in order to get sweet berries for Fundy’s birthday cake. Normally, she didn’t have to travel out into the spruce forest, but after a little incident where Sapnap committed various accounts of arson, the nearby forests she’d get her berries from was, for lack of a better term, burnt to a crisp.

So now she’s rummaging through the bush of the spruce forest where the smuggest blaze hybrid she’s ever met lived. Niki and (Y/N) both came to the SMP around the same time and while Niki tried to be civilized towards them, the fiery individual always returned her platonic remarks with their own flirtatious quips. Their first interaction followed this pattern. Niki was heading back to her bakery when she collided with another individual leaving it. This person was (Y/N), who was speeding out of the door with an armful of bread before they careened into the sweet woman.

The first thing Niki noticed was the extreme heat radiating from the bread thief. That, and the yellow twinge their skin held as if there was lava bubbling under the surface of it. She didn’t question this, because the apparent hybrid spoke up. “Well, it seems we’ve fallen for each other,” this retort was accompanied by a cheeky grin. Niki was stunned, she hadn’t been flirted with so openly before, but she quickly got over her shock when she recognized the loaves in hand as hers. “Were you, stealing from me?” She questioned, albeit a bit redundantly, as they had just sped out of her bakery, with her bread. “...would you believe me if I said no?” The glowing bread burglar smiled meekly after their words. This statement caused Niki to roll her eyes as she stood from the ground she was knocked onto. She reached down and snatched the bread from the offending being, causing them to showcase a childish pout before they clambered up as well. Despite (Y/N)’s petty thievery, Niki still asked if they were okay. “Yeah, just a scratch! Nothing I can’t handle,” They replied.

“That’s good. Um, I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from stealing from me, or anyone really,” She returned. “I’ll think about it, love. Just for you though,” They simpered at her flushed expression, obviously jarred once again by the blatant flirting that was being directed at her. Before the lady could come up with an answer, the hybrid traipsed past her, presumably on their way home.

Their interaction afterward followed that model, (Y/N) is mischievous, Niki reprimands them, attempts to make sure they’re okay, (Y/N) flusters her. This caused Niki to be harsher towards them, hoping that maybe they’d stop flustering her if she was as hostile as possible. This only fueled their ambitions, taking it as a challenge to go even farther to fluster the young woman.

So now, in the forest, she’s trying to calm herself, since the cabin (Y/N) lives in is only blocks away, and she is certain if she appears frantic they will float over to her, which would only make this task take longer.

As she soothes her thoughts, she picks berries, along with some azure bluets, which she would be sure to gift a certain enderman hybrid. Before she even realizes it, the sun has set, and her only lighting is the moon. Panic rises in her as she realizes that she’s a considerable distance from home, and she hadn’t brought a weapon to defend herself with. She thought over her options, realizing her only realistic options were to find a place to camp out for the night or bite the bullet and ask to stay with (Y/N). While the latter was not an avenue her pride wanted to take, it’s not likely she can find somewhere safe in this forest. She let herself sigh, and trudged towards the cabin. As she neared the glowing building, she felt a pain strike her hip. She snapped her head to her side, to see an arrow piercing it, blood staining her clothes. She quickly put together that she had been shot by a skeleton, and before she could ponder further, she felt herself grow faint, and before long she had slipped into unconsciousness and fell to the ground.

When she awoke, Niki expected to feel the packed dirt under her spine, but instead, she felt the leather of a worn sofa and the warmth of a crackling fire licking at the parts of her body not covered by a soft blanket. She sat up, causing the fabric covering her to fall, and looked around trying to figure out where she was. She was not left to wonder for long, as the owner of the house floated towards her, bearing what looked like beetroot soup in their arms. This individual was none other than (Y/N), who looked happy to see their guest awake and seemingly okay. “You took quite the hit there, love. You’re lucky I happened to see you through the window, or you might have been picked up by someone less inclined to help,” the pet name flustered her, and she opted to avert her gaze to the now dressed wound at her hip.

“I had some regen potions hoarded, stole ‘em off Captain Puffy,” They informed her as they sat down the soup on the nearby side table. Niki looked up at them and glared weakly, causing the hybrid to defend themselves “Hey, you would probably be bleeding out if it weren’t for my thievery, you can’t get all stuck-up now.” The reminder that she owed her current state to (Y/N) flustered her. “Thank you for that, by the way,” she spoke “...this doesn’t mean I like you now,” she mumbled afterward, provoking a laugh from them.

“What? Why are you laughing” Niki spoke, obviously a bit bewildered. (Y/N) looked at her with an adoring smile then spoke “Good little girl, always picking a fight with me, you know that I’m “bad”, but you’re spending the night with me?” Niki began to stutter defensively “Hey! It’s not- I wasn’t- t-that’s not fair, it’s not my fault I got shot and your house was the closest shelter,” (Y/N) hummed “Whatever you say~” They got remarkably close to her face, then pressed their middle and index fingers against their lips, before pressing them to Niki’s. The action stunned her, and the fiery individual in front of her giggled at her demeanor change. They smiled teasingly.

“The guest bedroom is the second door on the left, but my bedroom’s on the right, in case you...need anything”

#niki x reader #nihachu x reader #dreamsmp x reader #niki #nihachu #sock writes

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bluemoon-writer · 3 years

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TSI - Chapter 1 Notes

Here are my full notes and commentary for Chapter 1 of my Harry Potter fic 'The Snake Inside'.

Chapter 1 can be found here.

Throughout the chapter there are numbers in parentheses, these numbers correspond to the below notes. To best understand what I’m talking about in the notes I would recommend opening the story in a second tab and following along from there.

(notes begin under the cut)

1. This is, if you hadn’t noticed, lifted directly from the book, I do do this a couple times however, this is the only one that is italicized. I’m going to try and point out the other instances in chapter notes as well.

2. Another line lifted from the book, although here it has slightly different context

3. This was another line from the book, although again it has slightly different context (also I swear these notes aren’t just going to be me citing passages from the book)

4. I was actually really conflicted over this. Dudley is obviously incredibly spoiled so I figured it made sense that if for once Harry had something that he didn’t that he would throw a fit and demand he get the same. What I wasn’t confident about was how Petunia or Vernon would react as they really do love Dudley, shown by how much they spoil him. In this scenario, I decided that Petunia’s hatred of magic plus her fear of losing Dudley to magic (just like she lost her sister) would drive her to hit Dudley.

5. The first signs of Harry’s sneaky Slytherin side! He reads the room and chooses the best manner to approach the situation, something he would be good at considering he grew up in an abusive household. He would likely have gotten very good at reading moods and acting accordingly at a young age to avoid being hit or yelled at.

6. It might seem like Harry is a little quick to believe in Hogwarts and want to go considering he knows nothing about it. But, it’s an escape from the Dursleys and the terrible school they were going to send him to. Plus, it’s obvious that the Dursleys hate magic, so why would they lie to Harry about him being a wizard?

7. I know in canon Hogwarts is free, but that simply doesn’t make sense to me. In my world, Hogwarts is the best and most elite school in Britain, but it’s not the only one. There are also smaller ‘public’ wizarding schools that people who can’t afford Hogwarts go to. Also, if Hogwarts has a tuition then it only makes sense to me that the Potter Parents would set up an education fund for Harry, especially since their lives were at risk, they would want to make sure that Harry would be able to get the best education possible.

8. Some more Slytherin sneakiness, Harry isn’t a master manipulator by any means but he’s lived with the Dursleys for 11 years, he knows how to play them.

9. I don’t write it in bc it seemed unnecessary, but she does explain her reasoning off-screen.

10. Some foreshadowing here, I thought I was rather clever, finding a logical way for Harry and Vernon to learn how to enter the train platform.

11. This whole paragraph is my attempt at showing how Harry is still just a kid who’s curious about the new world he’s found himself in. I know I write Harry (and all the characters his age) as being a little more mature than they probably would be in reality, so here I was trying to show a pure, childlike curiosity and also some trains of thought that aren’t totally logical bc he is a kid.

12. I do think the Dursleys, or Vernon at least, is more clever than he gets credit for, he is high up in Grunnings, so he has to have some sort of head on his shoulders, and he’s certainly self-serving we saw in book 2 how he lathered up those rich people he wanted to impress. So, I think as much as Vernon might hate magic and think goblins are disgusting, that he would very much be able to put that aside if he thought it might benefit him.

13. The goblins ‘revealing the truth’ to Harry, or giving him or helping him out in some way is kinda over done and doesn’t always make sense as the goblins really have no reason so want to go out of their way to help Harry. But, I needed an unbiased 3rd party to teach Harry a little about the wizarding world and I figured a satisfactory motivation for the goblins would be making money in the form of consultation fees.

14. The first hints of Dumbledore’s manipulations. He wants a naïve Savior who will be easy for him to influence and shape into the person he thinks the world needs. Note, I’m not going for an evil Dumbledore, just a morally grey Dumbledore.

15. Paper business refers to the practice of owning a business on paper but not being involved in how it’s currently ran, I’m not trying to say that the Potters own several companies that sell paper. I don’t know if this is a common term, when I googled it nothing came up, but my dad uses it a lot when talking about businesses. Also, we know in canon that the Potters are rich but in a lot of fics it has evolved into them being extremely wealthy and influential. I’m running with this fanon idea because the Potters are a very old family, they’ve been around since the 12thcentury and married into other very influential families in canon. Also, if I ever get to the later years I do want to mess around with some politics and Harry having power from his family name will be a necessary advantage.

16. I’m not going to bore you guys with paragraphs detailing just how exceedingly rich Harry is, if he can’t even do anything with what he owns yet. He’s 11, he’s not going to be making any smart investments.

17. Like I said earlier with the tuition vault, the Potters were soldiers in a war, they knew they might die and I think it’s only logical that they would take precautions to ensure that Harry would have a comfortable life should they die.

18. This might seem like a lot, but again, the Potters are rich and they want their only child to be able to have a comfortable life even if they die, plus it is supposed to last until Harry’s an adult.

19. This is not canon, JKR said that a galleon is approx. 5 British pounds. I think that’s too low, so I changed it. I mean, it’s solid gold and the highest form of currency it’s got to be worth more than that.

20. Trying to give Dumbledore the benefit of the doubt, but of course Vernon is going to be suspicious of anyone who took money that he could have used.

21. This is just something that I thought made sense, Gringotts has been established as being in the business of making money and how can they do that if they’re cut off from part of their clientele?

22. I’m trying to go in a new direction with the Dursleys, I’m not trying to redeem them, but like Dumbledore, they’re in a grey area, especially Vernon. I think a self-serving Vernon would be interested in learning more about the magic world, or more specifically learning what it can do for him. But also because you need to know your enemy, as interested as he might be in profiting off magic, Vernon doesn’t trust wizards. As for Harry, this is a Slytherin AU, of course he’s going to play along with his uncle’s plan as long as it benefits him.

23. This is another line from the book

24. Hints that Dean is actually a halfblood and not muggleborn, this is canon too. I’m looking forward to exploring the future “tracking down who my real dad was arc”

25. Originally, I had Harry meet Hermione and her family, but I decided to change it to Dean because I wanted to go down some different avenues. A lot of Slytherin Harry stories have Harry becoming friends with Hermione early on despite their differences and I didn’t want to just do the same thing as everyone else. Also, I really like Dean Thomas’s character he’s a friendly, good natured, brave and loyal. I also think that Harry would get along better with Dean right off the bat than he would with Hermione.

26. Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that they still use quills and I will be using the trope where Harry sneaks in ballpoint pens.

27. Harry came to Diagon a few days earlier than he did in canon, so I figure it only makes sense that he would meet someone different at Madam Malkins also this gave me a great opportunity to shoe in one of my other favorite characters, Neville.

28. I headcanon that Harry and Neville have a slight magical bond over both being possible options for the prophecy.

29. I admit this is slightly unrealistic, as I’ve dropped my glasses several times before and they’ve never broken but I wanted an excuse to get Harry some new glasses.

30. Not implausible, but also not likely either. Also, I admit I really have no clue about British healthcare, especially not what it was like in the 80s and 90s. I know it’s free, but that there’s also the option to do private or paid care. So, for this story, assume that the Dursleys use private care bc they want to seem better than everyone else.

31. Again, probably not the most realistic scenario, but it is possible. I got glasses when I was 11 and contacts when I was 15, but I definitely could have gotten the contacts when I was a little younger. Maybe not, 11-years old younger, but I don’t think it’s entirely out of the ballpark.

32. I didn’t see any point in changing Hedwig’s name, so I kept it the same.

33. Giving Harry contacts was something that I debated a lot, there’s no real reason he needs them, I just wanted him to have some because they’re convenient. I personally regret not getting contacts earlier.

34. To be honest, this is actually a bit of a cop out on my end because I haven’t figured out the entire political system yet. BUT even if I had, Harry is still 11 so he probably wouldn’t understand it that well anyways. There will be a brief explanation in chapter 2 though.

35. Dudley’s reaction is anything thing I was really torn up about. Because he’s essentially torn between his two parents, sticking with Petunia ostracizes him from Vernon and sticking with Vernon ostracizes him from Petunia. Ultimately, I decided Dudley would value his father’s attention more because while Petunia wouldn’t like him getting involved with magic, she wouldn’t cut Dudley off completely, she loves him too much. But Vernon, has been completely distracted by magic and without Dudley getting involved in it too then he won’t get any attention from his father.

36. According to the HP wiki, Dean’s family actually lives in London, but I wanted it to be more convenient for them to meet so I moved them closer to the Dursleys. Also, I actually did about an hour’s worth of research on google maps trying to find a real place Dean’s family to live.

37. A whole lot of this section with the Weasleys was lifted from the book with slightly different commentary from Harry. I originally had more, but it didn’t add anything so I cut it out.

38. I don’t know how outgoing Ron was before he met Harry, if I was him though I would be too nervous to intrude on a compartment with two other kids who looked like they were already friends.

39. This is not a Ron bashing fic, Harry has no reason to dislike him, so of course he wouldn’t be opposed to sitting with him. That said, for the premise of the story I couldn’t have them sit together because Ron is heavily biased against Slytherin.

40. Poor Draco, if he had just paid more attention to who he was passing in the hall then he would have met Harry, but again, I couldn’t let that happen because Draco’s so obnoxious that he’d turn Harry off Slytherin.

41. Honestly, I just wanted Harry to interact with more students who can be potential friends.

42. Again, and the sorting is lifted from the book. I’m not going to make note of every line.

43. I wasn’t sure if I wanted Neville to be in Hufflepuff of Gryffindor at first. A lot of people argue that Neville needed to be in Gryffindor to learn how to be brave, but I think that Hufflepuff would provide a strong support system that would help Neville gain confidence in himself. Also, I decided that Harry’s words in the robe shop would influence Neville into not thinking that he was a loser if he went to Hufflepuff. I imagine in canon, much like Harry was chanting “not slytherin” Neville was probably chanting “not Hufflepuff”. So I think it’s fitting they both don’t end up in Gryffindor in this fic. Also, Harry already has a Gryffindor friend in Dean, he can use a Hufflepuff friend.

#the snake inside #chapter notes #tsi

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twdmusicboxmystery · 5 years

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TWD 10x10: Stalker - Details

Let’s talk some details! I’ll start by mentioning all the little things we’ve noticed, and then I’ll get into connecting it all. You might want to grab a beverage. This will be kinda long.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x10. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

So, we start by seeing Beta jump into the pit via the RV. Both of those are huge symbols. The RV is a symbol of time that we’ve often associated with Beth. And Beta pretty much went into a dark tunnel…and emerged through a grave. Hmm. No better resurrection symbol than someone digging their way out of their own grave, Dean Winchester style

Then there’s Rosita’s dream. Seriously creepy, no? I knew from spoilers that it was a dream, but if I hadn’t, I definitely would have been freaking out. The thing is, it foreshadowed Beta walking around Michonne’s house, looking for Gamma. That part LOOKED just like Rosita’s dream. So that was a foreshadow of what happened later.

I couldn’t help but notice that when Daryl is following Alpha, he starts out in the dry riverbed. He gets up out of it, but then Alpha comes and he hides in it again. Then later, he attacks Alpha and the other Whisperers right next to the river. I’m wasn’t sure exactly what to read into that at first, but I’ll come back to it.

And Alpha actually led part of the horde out of the caves. It’s not very many—maybe a dozen or two dozen walkers—but they’re with her and the other Whisperers when Daryl attacks them by the river. Again, that’s important.

Also important to note that this season is moving relatively slowly. They made a point of saying in this episode that it’s only been 2 days since Siddiq died.

When Gamma tells FG to get her a map and she’ll point to where the caves are, I slowed it down to look at the map. It pans by very fast. I notice some Xs, but there are lines through them, which makes me think they might be train tracks. I can’t read all of the writing, but near the cave location, it says “unsafe zone.”

I also noticed the caves are 14 miles away. On the one hand, I thought of episode 14s through the seasons. Often Sirius/Beth related characters die in those episodes (i.e. Lizzie/Mica, Noah, Denise, etc.). Or this could be pointing toward ep 14 of this season. We’ll have to see what that brings us. But I looked it up in terms of biblical symbolism, and I found this:

All sound like Beth related stuff to me. And if the caves are 14 miles away, and that represents salvation and deliverance, that’s just another indication to me that Connie and Magna are just fine. They’ll survive the caves. Perhaps be “saved” by someone. ;D

My fellow theorists and I have been discussing the whole Rosita/FG/Eugene dynamic. At various times, we’ve felt that one or all of them might die. I felt that way this episode, too. The symbolism around them is so muddled, and they’re all so interconnected, that’s it hard to say. For one thing, when FG leaves Alexandria at one point, he gives Rosita his hat.

He does return to her after that, but it kind of felt to me like when Carl passed his hat to Judith, you know?

A group leaves Alexandria at the end for Hilltop. Rosita goes with them so she can see the doctor (apparently there’s still a doctor there) so I’m assuming when she arrives, that’s when we’ll get the scene with her and Eugene. But she also keeps talking about her fear that both she and Gabriel will die, leaving Coco an orphan. I don’t know if that’s a foreshadow or not, since it’s very on-the-nose, but it may be.

There’s also a part where Rosita looks up at the windmill and the camera focuses on it for a moment. People are speculating it’s a death omen because Siddiq woke up on its platform not long before he died. I think they might be onto something there, because in the opening credits, we see three turns of the windmill along with Rick’s bridge scene. And while we know Rick isn’t dead, the characters in the show believe he is.

I was also thinking that it might indicate a Whisperer trick. When it happened with Siddiq, Dante was in Alexandria, messing with his head. And in this episode, the Whisperers lured Gabriel and many others out of Alexandria so Beta could enter and get Gamma. But this is still conjecture. We’ll have to see how it plays out.

The gas station:

Everything is red, yellow and blue. There are “wings” on the main sign that look a lot like the Phoenix wings in the moonshine shack. And Alpha passes and old, analog gas pump with some interesting number on it. I’m seeing 32, 8 and 26. Not positive what to make of those, but 3+2 = 5 (for S5, perhaps?). 2 + 6 = 8, So that’s two 8s, which might indicate 16, or just the 8 years it’s been since Coda.

@frangipanilove noticed a rack full of car air fresheners. Just the kind of thing you’d find in a gas station. But what shape do fresheners often take? That of CHRISTMAS TREEs. So yes, there are Christmas trees in this scene. We also noticed some old soda coolers (think of @frangipanilove’s blue cooler theories. It indicates the Sirius/return symbolism.)

Also, there was a yellow mop bucket behind Daryl at one point.

And one of the walkers had fungus growing on its legs. We saw the same thing in Still and with Morgan in 6x06. I don’t know if I’d ever researched this before, but I looked it up and found THIS article that makes for interesting reading. This kind of fungus on trees suggests that the heart of the tree is rotten. That makes sense because each time we see them, the characters are in an emotionally bad place. Daryl, after the prison fell. Morgan, before Eastman helped him. And Daryl here, as also evidenced by when Alpha asked him if he could see past the darkness, and he answers, “No.”

He also uses a fire extinguisher to kill one of the walkers, which is also a Beth symbol.

Overall, it also reminded me of the burnt out greenhouse we saw in 6x06.

And I do have to say that I found the amazing things Daryl did with his leg injury to be…less than realistic, lol. Really not bashing anything, but he was putting all kinds of bodyweight on that leg with the knife still in it. And when he pulls it out, the thing spurts as though he’s obviously hit an artery. We don’t see that he has any way of bandaging it or treating it, yet somehow he lasts the night like that without bleeding out. Yeah, injuries like that REALLY don’t clot all by themselves.

But hey, it’s Daryl and obviously I don’t want him to die, so I’m cool.

And of course the other option is that it’s purposely unrealistic for symbolic reasons. That’s the kind of thing I’m trying to figure out. Like maybe this is meant to be a symbolic parallel with Alpha being Dawn and Daryl being Beth, and the spurt of blood represents her getting shot in the head and—against all odds—surviving. I’m not sure that entirely works out. Just throwing the possibility out there. But if it did, then Lydia could dually represent Beth saving Daryl and also someone else—like maybe Morgan?—who saved Beth after she was shot.

There’s another really interesting shot that instantly jumped out at me. At one point, we see FG preparing to leave Alexandria. He gets into a box and unwraps two, red shotgun shells. It was really the color that caught my eye at first. Next to it is a silver pendant with a cross on it. It’s not in the shape of a cross. The pendant is round but has a raised cross etched into it. (It’s actually the crest from his original church in S5, which is probably purposeful.) So it reminded me of the cross Beth wore around her wrist in Coda and of course there are those bullets. Annnddd… FG is a Sirius character. So once again, does this portend his death? I’m not sure.

What really caught my ear in the scene where Gamma talked to Judith was that she used the words ‘remember’ and ‘forget’ very close together, and I wondered if we would hear all the titles from 5b/Dale’s time speech. We didn’t, at least not in this scene, and I didn’t notice them anywhere else. But it still struck me as interesting.

There’s an “echo” theme in the episode. The other outpost that tells them there’s horde coming, but it’s a ploy and all the people from that station are actually dead, is called “Echo Station.” And when Gamma talks to Judith she says she has only echoes of memories of her previous life. I’m not entirely sure what that’s all about but I just thought that we’ve had nothing if not echoes of Beth over all the seasons since S5.

She also says that she and her sister made very bad decisions after the virus broke out, and then met Alpha (evil) and Judith says that if they’d met her mom or dad, Gamma wouldn’t be in this situation. So that’s just another way that Gamma and her sister are opposites of Beth and Maggie. They ended up in a good place because they met Rick, rather than following an evil, brutal leader.

Judith also says, “you don’t look like a monster to me.” Seems like we’ve had the monster theme in past several episodes.

When Beta goes into get Gamma, he says something kind of interesting. She’s arguing with him that Alpha lied about what this place was. He says it doesn’t matter. She’s Gamma’s Alpha and needs to be obeyed. Then he says, “You think you’re still alive. You were dead the moment you came to us.”

So the Whisperers actually believe they are dead. They don’t want to live as the living do. But we could relate that back to Beth’s theme of “you call this living” and a few others.

Later, when he gets her outside of Alexandria, taking her back to Alpha, he says, “You will fall. You will rise. You will walk with your sister again.” Yikes. Talk about a resurrection/sister theme. And you know, Maggie is returning, so… ;D

I gotta say that Judith shooting Beta was pretty damn awesome. You know, in the way Judith is pretty damn awesome.

There’s also the fact that Alpha wanted Lydia to kill her. So, we could call this a suicide arc of sorts. And when Alpha wakes up in the morning, she says she’s no longer weak, which is a parallel to Beth. I thought of that while watching it. Just the fact that she talks about not being weak anymore and Beth’s “I am strong,” you know?

People in my group noticed that they used some Dutch angles (with the camera askew) when Lydia walked in. Another reason to believe she’s a proxy for Beth returning.

And then there’s also Alpha singing. I don’t have tons more to say about that, but we all know why her singing is significant. And again, all the dialogue just jumps off the screen at me. “Kill me.” Lydia says no. Then Alpha sings. And says “They’re waiting for you to lead.” Beth anyone?

Lydia carved into a table, “your way is not the only way,” right? Well, the shape of the letters looked a LOT like the graffiti from S5 that says, “Wolves Not Far.” We’ve already talked about how the Whisperers were forerunners to and foreshadowed the wolves, but I started thinking about that idea more deeply. Like maybe that writing, while it did foreshadow the wolves (cuz obviously) also foreshadowed the Whisperers.

And think about that. We first saw that that graffiti in 5x09, which Beth was in, and there was an 8 next to her. Now, 8 years later, the Whisperers are here. So, by extension, Beth should be too. Back to that in a minute.

I thought it was interesting that Alpha says to Lydia “I want you to…” And then she passes out. She doesn’t get out the word, “stay” until morning. So, Lydia never heard her mom ask her to stay. Lydia would have just heard the first part of the sentence and assumed it would be a negative request, like “kill me and lead the whisperers.” But she wakes up and says “stay” and Lydia and Daryl are already gone. It just struck me as very tragic. And at first, I didn’t see it as a TD thing, but I’ve reconsidered.

Even when Daryl wakes up and talks to Lydia at the end, it struck me as a possible Beth parallel. Daryl says, “You just been out here this whole time?” Sounds like something he might say to Beth.

Finally, at the end, when Alpha starts reciting her end-of-the-world chant, it pans out. This is the top of the gas station from a birdseye view, with the road next to it. I immediately felt like maybe we should be reading into this shot somehow. I just didn’t know exactly how. The blue colors and greenery might indicate Beth. But I had to put together more thoughts about episode before it really made sense to me. It’s part of the hell theme, which I mention below but won’t go into in a lot of detail here. (The gas station = hell or dark tunnel, and the curving path shows that the character’s arc changes course because of the hell they endure.)

Okay, so this is most of the details I noticed. But the thing is, the details are actually incidental. Or at least, they’re just there to prove the bigger parallels.

I feel like this entire episode is one big foreshadow/parallel.

And it’s probably not possible for any of us to put our fingers on everything it points to, but the more I think about it, the more interesting it becomes. I’ll try to lay a few of them out for you.

1. So the most obvious thing this represents for me is what I talked about yesterday. It’s a replay of Coda and sort of a re-telling of Beth and Daryl’s arc. Daryl stabbed Alpha in the shoulder and then sustained an injury to the head, just as Beth stabbed Dawn in the shoulder and then was shot in the head. Also notice how this happens by the river (water = Beth). So Daryl represents Beth in this analogy and we then see him staggering around, injured, and in a very dark state of mind. I’m willing to bet Beth went through something similar after being shot and left behind. Or it could be literal, as we know there was a walker horde involved. So Daryl fighting off Alpha’s walkers and trying to survive could literally represent something Beth went through once she woke up, surrounded by walkers.

In that case, Lydia represents someone coming to help/save Beth. We don’t know who that is, but I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.

2. This also represents Daryl’s arc after losing Beth, though in that case, it’s emotional. After she got shot, he was sort of stumbling around in the dark emotionally, and unable to come out of his depression for a long time. With this interpretation, Lydia sort of represents…herself. Because Daryl didn’t truly start to come out of his depression until he started parenting her. So Lydia did help save Daryl emotionally.

3. I still think this represents something for the future as well. I think Lydia represents Beth returning and saving Daryl in some way. Will it be physically? Emotionally? My money’s on both. I think one thing this foreshadows is Daryl going into a dark state of mind again for some reasons, so even if she saves him physically, she’ll also save him emotionally by default.

And that brings up some interesting questions about Daryl’s crossbow, I gotta say. My group has been discussing this the past few days. We thought it was odd that Daryl dropped his crossbow before going into the cave in 10x08. Because he still had arrows and he had no obvious reason not to bring it with him. Now, of course it would have been VERY cumbersome when crawling through the tiny passages of the cave, and the writers knew that, which is why they had him drop it. But DARYL couldn’t possibly have know that, so it didn’t make much sense. It was obviously something the writers had him do with something in mind. And now Lydia has found it and brought it back to him.

A lot of us have had head canons about Beth doing something like this over the years, so again, this makes me…kinda happy. ;D

4.This obviously represents the hell/dark tunnel arc. I may end up doing an entire, detailed post about this, but here’s the basic gist. We already know the gas station represents hell, because in S4, the gas station Daryl and Michonne’s group went to had the word “hell” written on the marquee.

So I often talk about the dark tunnel symbolism representing the characters having a great trial, and that’s true, but you could also describe it as them going through their own personal hell.

So no matter how you slice it, we once again have a representation of what happened at Grady (stabbed in shoulder, injured in forehead) followed by the trial/hell/dark tunnel. For Daryl, for Beth, for Alpha… it works across the board.

It always starts with either a terrible injury, a death or a death fake out. Or sometimes literal imprisonment to a villain (i.e. Negan, Alpha, etc.). That’s followed by a period of time in which the character struggles through deep emotional darkness. (The dark part, as Maggie said.) Then, when the sun rises again, everything is okay. And what that “okay” looks like depends on what the first event is. If it’s an injury (think Carl’s eye in S6) then the person finally recovers or starts to recover, but it’s obvious they won’t die. If it’s a death fake out (think Glenn in S6) they show up alive. Other times, it might mean the death of the character themselves. (I’m thinking of Sasha. Yes, she died in S7, but she died so the group would have a fighting chance to win the war. And she was okay with that sacrifice. So we saw a sunrise.)

And let’s just appreciate that, if Lydia in this episode does represent Beth’s return to Daryl, she arrived in the night, kind of during his darkest hour. By the time the sun rose, they were away from the darkness, away from Alpha, and…together in the sunlight.

And the more I thought about and put together all the components of this sequence, the more I realized just how MANY times we’ve seen it. Like I said, I’ll do a more detailed post later, but it’s amazing to realize we’ve been seeing this all along, but for the most part only picking up pieces of it at a time.

(The reason I said the thing above about Alpha not finishing her sentence until the morning being a TD thing is that it’s a representation of someone “falling asleep” as it were and waking up along. You could say that this was Alpha entering the dark tunnel, much as Beth did--through injury--and when she wakes up, her family (Lydia, in this case) has left her behind. Right after that, we see the graffiti-like writing. We saw it with Beth in 5x09, right after Coda. And we’ve already seen plenty of parallels/anti-parallels between Alpha and Beth. Just saying.)

Let’s talk about Beta invading Alexandria for a moment and then I really need to shut up for today.

This is obviously a different sequence than the gas station, but I feel like it foreshadows something yet to come. First of all, it reminded me a lot of the Wolves invading Alexandria in S6. And I’m not saying that foreshadowed this (overall, this thing with Beta was less epic than the wolves) but I feel like both of them perhaps point toward something yet to come.

Let’s look at it with some distance. We have a major resurrection symbol (Beta crawling out of the grave) followed by an invasion in which Judith and RJ were in danger and many people died. So, I wonder if there will be a larger invasion where this is the case.

And honestly, it looks like this might happen with Alpha’s horde next episode, so maybe it just points to that. We’ll have to see.

But there’s also the resurrection symbol. So, I’m wondering if it points to a resurrection happening during this invasion. (And understand I’m just making observations here. I have no idea what it’s pointing to.) And maybe, given that Beta is evil, I’m making this symbolism too positive. I don’t know.

Also remember though that Beta is an anti-parallel for Daryl. (We saw him fighting with two knives in this episode, like Daryl does, so I was reminded of that.) And when Beth is resurrected physically, Daryl will be emotionally too. So there’s that.

So this is super conjecturey (totally a word) but remember what I said above: the first episode in which we saw “Wolves Not Far” was 5x09. Beth was in that episode, along with tons of symbolism about what might have happened during that missing 17 days, and what we think was trying to say that she would return in 8 years (in other words, now, in TWD timeline). And now, the Whisperers are here, which is probably what the wolves foreshadowed. (There were also interesting clocks in that episode, and the deeply foreshadowing radio voice broad casts. Yes, I need to do another post to show you guys this stuff. It’s just too much to put here today.)

So I guess what I’m thinking/hoping for is that at some point, the Whisperers will invade Alexandria en mass (or one of the communities; if this does point to next episode, pretty sure that’s happening at Hilltop) and during that invasion, Beth will show up to “save” everyone.

Now, here’s hoping this totally goes down next episode. My good friend @frangipanilove would be ecstatic, as ep 11 is the one she always focuses on, and here’s hoping she totally right. (Cuz, you know, that would mean Beth’s return next week. ;D)

But it’s also possible this is bigger than what’s happening in ep 11 and it will be more of a season finale sort of thing. Or… I could be interpreting this totally wrong and it won’t go down this way at all. This is just the stuff rolling through my head since watching 10x10.

One other thing: my fellow theorists and I talked about how we think this is setting up for three returns. Father Gabriel made the three reference to Gamma, and you could argue that Lydia got a return in this episode. She wasn’t really presumed dead or anything, but we hadn’t seen her in a while.

We also know Maggie will be back sometime soon. So that would be two returns. The third would of course, be Beth. But then there’s also Connie to consider. So who knows?

Yeah, this episode was totally packed with stuff. I doubt I’ve even truly hit on everything here. Lots of hidden gems. And next episode just looks, you know, totally badass. So I’m excited to see what comes next.

Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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daely-trans-life · 4 years

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Thoughts on gender and other matters (letter to a friend)

Dearest [Friend],

I finally got around to writing this email, god knows it's long overdue.

You've asked me to explain what lead me to the realisation that I might be transgender and well, that's a larger subject than what I can summarise in a text message (in fact this email might turn into a novel, in which case I'm very sorry), so here we go.

I can see how from an outside point of view it might come as a surprise, albeit for me this realisation is something that's been long in the making... Probably ever since I became aware of the concept of gender itself.

To begin with, I need to explain a little bit about the culture I was raised in, because it ties into the delay significantly. It has to do with the societal expectations as much as the language... Hungarian has no gender markers for words and doesn't use gendered pronouns at all, which also means that in a way, the concept itself is way less defined and pronounced in the cultural context. That, coupled with the strict and rigid code of conduct regarding politeness and formality means that it's generally not discussed in society on any level, neither in family, between friends nor in public education.

It's a binary concept that's dependent on one's genetic makeup and primary sexual characteristics that is assigned at birth and never discussed further. It doesn't involve choice or exploration, and it's not viewed as a spectrum the same way as it is customary in Western countries. But at the same time, traditional gender roles are built into society on every level, and while it's never mentioned, it's enforced and engraved in people way stronger than it is in for example Denmark.

So while as a teen/young adult, I could feel I didn't fit into the box of "girl" or "woman" the way others around me did, I had no vocabulary to describe my experience, and I definitely didn't have a platform for exploring it. On the few occasions when I mentioned it to some friends that I kind of view myself as both a man and a woman or maybe neither, the general answer was something to the effect of "well no shit?! are we meant to be surprised by this?", which was both baffling and very validating at the same time.

And then I moved out of the country and a whole new world of concepts and options and spectra opened up to me, where I also had the opportunity to learn more about my identity when it came to gender and sexuality. I quickly discovered that me not being straight was definitely a thing, and I learnt about labels that finally fit my experience and I found a community that welcomed me and that had people similar to myself in it. And that was all great, but it also taught me that gender was a Thing, and not only that, but it also had way more to it than just binary man and woman.

And I went down that rabbit hole hard. I started identifying as non-binary, tried on a lot of labels and pronouns, some really out there ones too, mostly privately, while trying to find the one that felt right. And of course in the meantime I've met and learnt about trans people, and it kind of hit me how that specific experience resonated with me. But of course, I couldn't just BE a guy... Could I?

Well, no, of course not! Because I had parents that raised me as their daughter, I had a husband who married me to be his wife, and I had always been presented and perceived as a woman... It's not like I could just uproot my entire identity and claim a new one just because it would make me happy... I had others to think of and consequences to dread, and in general, I was too fucked up anyway to really be concerned with something like what noise people make to address me or what concept do they identify me with. So I buried the question deep, never touching it, because as long as I wasn't looking, it didn't hurt and I didn't get confused. And this worked for a while, until it obviously didn't.

And then years had passed and a few things happened. For one, I met my other partner, who also identifies as non-binary and who is way more into the queer aspects of life than my husband. And with Them, I got to talk about the things that have always bothered me and that I previously was unable to talk about. They taught me the language to express myself, not only with words but also with presentation. And while confined in the safety of our shared home, I've stepped onto the Rocky Road of Recovery, that involved a lot of mental healthcare, therapy, exploration and coming to terms with my identity in more than one way.

In a way, unraveling the tangle of issues I've been carrying around helped a lot too. I've been living with the vague sense of "there is something wrong with me" for so long that it just became the everyday reality of my life, and I kind of accepted that all the things I now know are symptoms of certain conditions, were just how life was supposed to be, that the world was supposed to be this hostile, low-key but always uncomfortable place with occasional bursts of horrible pain. And through all that, I still held myself to the expectations I was presented with by my upbringing, because throughout my life, whenever I tried to ask for help in any way, I was generally met with blame and dismissal, and I was taught that the only option was to bite my tongue and power through. So I bit down and did what I could and every time I broke down, I just dug my heels in and kept going until one day I couldn't go on anymore.

And in a way, this was a blessing. Because finally, at the point where I completely gave up, I was presented with an abundance of care and actual help I've never received before. I went to psychiatry, I got my diagnoses, I got a social worker to help me, I got a therapist, and a damn good one for that, and I got the time to heal and figure myself out without having to worry about things like where I was going to live or what I was going to eat. And lo and behold, things started getting better. Of course, a year of therapy cannot undo 20 years of trauma and abuse, I didn't expect it to either, but it gave me tools to work with, ways to address and manage my symptoms and space to explore ways in which I could be happier, healthier and more stable than I've ever been before.

I'm on a good path, and in a good place now. I'm engaged to my partner, still happily married to my husband and we live in a loving, if a bit crooked family in a beautiful place at the countryside. For the first time I'm hopeful about the future and I feel like I have realistic expectations about my life and what I would be able to make of it. Of course there is still a lot of work to be done and a lot of ways I wish to improve, but these dreams had finally stopped being just that, and slowly morphed into goals, things I could actually achieve and I can see ways in which to do so.

And so, now that happiness suddenly became a viable option, I started wondering about the questions of identity again, and well... I guess I just felt like my time has finally come. I'm almost thirty. Yeah, that's a bit late compared to many who had this figured out by their late teens, but hey, I'm young, I have most of my adult life ahead of me! And I finally have the space and the support network that gives me enough confidence to pursue my true identity and everything that comes with that.

I'm taking it slowly though. It's scary as hell, and it's a huge step, and I still have a million questions and a million obstacles to overcome. But if my journey so far had taught me anything, that is that no decision is irreversible, there is no such thing as too late to change things, and that fear is never a good enough reason not to do what's right for you. I'm at square one right now, and I don't know if this is the path I'll stay on forever, but I feel like I owe myself to at least try. If I never committed to anything just because it might not last forever, I wouldn't be having the amazing life I have today, if I was even still alive.

So that's where I stand. Sorry about the insanely long ramblings, now you know everything you never wished to know about my inner workings, but I don't quite know how to explain this in any other way than the extremely winded one.

I miss you. I wish we could hang out and I could be, you know, not an absolute wreck for once :D I swear I'm a way funner person these days than I was when we used to hang out.

Lots of love,

Dae

P.s.: I guess this DID turn into a novel, sorry about that again! :$ xoxo

#open letter #explaining gender is long and complicated #one step at a time #positivity

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burning-up-ao3 · 6 years

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20 Penguins Thoughts: Improvement involves more than a potential trade January 29, 2019 8:00 AMBy Jason Mackey / Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Look at what Jim Rutherford did on Monday, trading Jamie Oleksiak back to Dallas for a 2019 fourth-round draft pick, and it’s fairly easy to conclude that the Penguins general manager has his sights set on doing something.

Fine. Trade away, Jim. Shoot your shot.

But is a swap for a third-line center, or even an impact winger, going to fix this? Highly doubtful.

Not that the Penguins are a dysfunctional group, either. They aren’t. They’re still a very good team. But no matter what move Rutherford makes, if the Penguins play like they did Monday, they’re simply not a trade away from another Stanley Cup run.

“If we’re going to be successful,” Matt Cullen was saying after the Penguins’ 6-3 loss to the New Jersey Devils at PPG Paints Arena on Monday night, “we’re going to have to be a lot harder to play against.”

The 42-year-old has never been more right.

Kevin Hayes, Radek Faksa, Charlie Coyle, Micheal Ferland — all dream acquisitions by Penguins fans, for perfectly understandable reasons — aren’t going to solve the problem by themselves. Neither is shipping out Jack Johnson or calling up Teddy Blueger or whatever other Band-Aid has been applied.

Heck, the Penguins got creamed by the Devils, and Derick Brassard was actually half-decent. What the Penguins will need to fix this — and snap out of a stretch that has included five losses in eight games — is much larger than one or two players.

So, what realistically must happen?

2. Work ethic, urgency and competitive spirit were the terms being thrown around the Penguins dressing room late Monday, and it’s hard to argue with any of them.

The power play also has to be better; those five players need to be a factor, and they can’t keep allowing short-handed goals at this rate. They need to get Evgeni Malkin right, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Penguins coach Mike Sullivan’s move is to pull him off the top unit, as crazy as that might sound. No more bad turnovers. Let him focus on other areas.

The Penguins also must defend better than they did against New Jersey, and there’s simply a lack of urgency that shouldn’t exist at this point in the season, especially not for a team that fancies itself as a Stanley Cup contender.

I do have five questions for the home stretch, but I’ll get to those shortly. First, a couple loose ends.

3. I thought Sidney Crosby had some really strong stuff to say after Monday’s loss. He’s usually fairly positive, never too down, but the captain seemed fairly mad after this one.

What lacked against the Devils: “Everything. Execution. Urgency. Those are probably the biggest two. Pretty important ones.”

The NHL-worst 11 short-handed goals the Penguins have allowed: “I mean, it’s 11. I think it could probably be a couple different things depending on the play. It’s not a stat we’re proud of, that’s for sure.”

On needing to correct things with Tampa coming in: “We can say everything we want to say. We can say all the right things. We have to go out there and do it.”

Good for him. No one has a stronger voice than Crosby. And every word is he said is true.

4. Here’s why I think Rutherford could do something, and soon: Why else let Jamie Oleksiak go for a fourth-round pick?

Perhaps because Rutherford knows he’s going to need the space soon, and this was what he figured was his best available opinion.

That’s what I think, anyway.

“It just puts us in a position when something comes along — which, it will — over the next few weeks here,” Rutherford said when I asked what this means moving forward in our phone conversation early Monday evening. “It’ll put us in a position for other options because of the cap space.”

Which it will. Rutherford knows his phone will be ringing, and you know he’ll answer.

Yes, it was about having too many defensemen and Justin Schultz coming back soon, but that’s not a reason to make the trade now, for that return.

Doing it now, and not when Schultz returns in early February — remember, he has yet to skate with the team — sends a signal that Rutherford is open for business and able to potentially absorb some salary.

5. Switching gears a little bit … why hasn’t Teddy Blueger been gotten a shot? You guys/girls ask this a lot.

With 21 goals and 39 points in 45 games with Wilkes-Barre/Scranton of the AHL, it’s a totally reasonable question, especially considering Blueger plays in all situations and isn’t defensively deficient.

When I talked to Rutherford before Monday’s game, I asked him exactly that: Why hasn’t Blueger been given a chance?

“It’s a positional thing,” Rutherford said. “He’s played well enough to be here. When it’s been time to recall a player, the players that we’ve recalled can play the wing.

“We haven’t been in a position where we’ve had to call up a center. Teddy doesn’t play the wing. He only plays center. It’s a more-than-fair question. He has done what he’s needed to do to put himself in position to play at this level.”

6. I see Rutherford’s point. Blueger isn’t a wing, and the Penguins would theoretically be doing a disservice to him by playing him out of position, even if I know many of you are going to say, “Well, just shift someone else there.”

I don’t think the Penguins would want a fourth line with two guys playing out of position — probably Riley Sheahan and Matt Cullen — to accommodate a rookie playing his first NHL game.

7. Which led to this follow-up question that I posed to Rutherford: Is there a scenario you see unfolding where Blueger could get a chance this season.

His answer: “I don’t see it with the guys that we have here now.”

I found that answer interesting: “With the guys that we have here now.”

On one hand, that means no; Blueger’s staying in the minors. On the other, I suppose that could change if Rutherford trades Brassard or even Riley Sheahan, although I don’t think using Blueger as a regular is something the Penguins want to force.

8-12. To me, there’s five key questions for the Penguins coming out of the All-Star break. Addressing those will occupy this and the following four spots.

The first involves Malkin. Can he rediscover the form he found during the second half of last season, when he led the NHL in points (62) from Jan. 1 through the end of the regular season?

Taking him off the top power play might be one option. Maybe trying some other people on his left wing. Shoot, maybe even sit Malkin down for a game, just to change something up, although I admittedly don’t love that option.

But I think Malkin is pressing and his confidence is lacking, which is a bad combination.

“Obviously we’d like him to have more of a positive impact on the game,” Sullivan said after Monday’s game. “He’s such a talented player. He’s such an accomplished player. I know how much he cares about this team, this organization and trying to help us win. Part of my responsibility as his coach and our staff is we’re trying to help Geno through this process and try and help him capture his very best game. We’ll continue to work with him.”

9. What happens when Schultz returns?

You know he’s going to slot into the top-four. But more than that, with whom does Schultz play? Olli Maatta? Is he effective? Does he get top power-play reps? The latter part is interesting given that unit’s current situation.

I also look at Schultz like a trade-deadline acquisition. His presence alone could give this group a nice little jolt of life.

10. Where’s Matt Murray at?

It’s hard to criticize Murray after Monday’s game. No, he wasn’t great, but neither was the team in front of him. And this is a guy who was 10-1 since returning from a lower-body injury, with a 1.81 goals-against average and .944 save percentage before the Devils game.

Expecting those numbers might be a bit much, but the Penguins will want and need something close here to make a push over the final 40 percent of the season.

11. What’s the final verdict on Brassard?

Brassard was actually decent Monday, although hardly enough to quash any of the ongoing trade talk.

Given acquisition cost, don’t rule out the Penguins sticking with Brassard, although I would imagine that, if they do, Rutherford would probably like to add another piece to get more from that line.

12. How does this Metro mess sort itself out?

The Metropolitan Division is an interesting place right now.

The Islanders are in first place, have allowed a league-low 118 goals, and Barry Trotz is looking like the Jack Adams Award winner. The Capitals, meanwhile, have lost seven in a row and look lost.

The Blue Jackets are hanging around, and the Penguins are in fourth place, with the Hurricanes just four points behind.

That’s a long-winded way of saying that plenty can still happen, and the margin for error is rather small.

13. Moving on … I loved what Kendall Coyne Schofield, Brianna Decker and others did at the NHL All-Star Game, but I still wish it would have been executed differently.

For one, they should have been paid, especially Decker after winning the premier passer event.

You can treat this like a statement-making sort of event all you want, which I think the NHL did. But when you pay the event winners, pay the winning team of the All-Star Game $1 million and award a car to the MVP … and you don’t see a need to earmark anything for these women — who make nothing close to NHL players — until there’s negative reaction over it, I question how much of a statement you were really trying to make.

14. Also, why not show all of them demonstrating the drills? And why not talk, while Coyne Schofield was flying, about her own career, Northeastern, Team USA women’s hockey, whatever. Anything aside from her husband who plays for the Chargers.

Or, here’s a final thought: Why not promote the upcoming series between Team USA and Hockey Canada in Detroit and London, Ontario?

If you have a platform, use it.

15. One more about Coyne Schofield and Decker …

Being in the building, the buzz created was amazing. It also made me think about something that I’d love to see: a National Women’s Hockey League (NWHL) team in Pittsburgh.

I think it would work, too. There are so many fervent and intelligent female hockey fans here, plus there’s great infrastructure in place for it with UPMC Lemieux Sports Complex and how naturally intertwined it would be with the Penguins.

Have no clue on logistics or anything like that, or whether it’s even remotely possible, but if the team won, I think it could do really well.

16. I find NHL commissioner Gary Bettman’s stance on current labor negotiations … interesting.

He keeps repeating the phrase, “We’re not looking for a fight.”

Great, but your fans don’t care. They just want the product.

And it positions the players, if they ask for anything that’s even remotely reasonable, as the bad guys.

17. Media day must be handled better next year.

You’ll notice that neither Crosby nor Kris Letang was there. They were among the seven of 44 players who did not make it. That’s too many.

But I don’t blame Crosby or Letang. Why should they give up a day of their bye week when the All-Stars who are on theirs from Jan. 27-31 will get five full days?

It’s also not fair to the fans who bought tickets to the event — held inside San Jose’s City National Civic theater — expecting to hear those two or others. I also understand why those who played Wednesday night weren’t there.

My solution: Put a dark day in the schedule, to ensure 100 percent participation. There’s no sense wasting fans’ or media members’ money and ticking off your players … for what?

18. While we’re at it, I also think the Skills Competition needs tweaked.

I think the fastest skater, hardest shot and accuracy shooting events are fine the way they are. Leave those alone. Let’s concentrate on the other ones.

The puck control event was OK, but I don’t see how casual fans might keep the event on their TVs to watch a dude stickhandle around cones. Too boring. Need to spice it up a little.

Secondly, the whole event slowed to a crawl during the save streak-intermission-premier passer part of the evening. Has to be tighter to keep viewers’ attention.

Have goalies stop as many breakaways as they can until they’re done. If it’s two, so be it. They’re done.

Then simplify the passing thing. I don’t need to see poor Mikko Rantanen suffering through 2:17.379, then having to watch seven more heats.

The Skills Competition has some interesting elements. I think it can be watchable, as opposed to the game itself, which is a little too gimmicky for my taste.

But it needs to be tighter, falling somewhere in the 90-minute range start to finish.

19. I was not at all surprised to hear deputy NHL commissioner Bill Daly’s answer when I asked whether the Penguins are being considered for international events.

“Yes,” was what Daly said, with a wide smile.

As they should be.

How does one of the NHL’s marquee U.S. teams, with the league’s most recognizable player and some seriously high-end talent, not get included in this stuff?

The Penguins haven’t played internationally since going to Stockholm, Sweden in 2008. Whether it’s China, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland or the Czech Republic — all destinations on the horizon — the Penguins should get asked to go.

And soon, if you ask me.

20. I liked seeing Toronto’s Auston Matthews rip off his own Maple Leafs sweater to show support for teammate Patrick Marleau, who’s nothing short of a legend out here.

I think it’s part of what should be a push by players, especially the younger ones, to showcase more personality whenever possible.

I know the NHL is a different animal, and it’s never going to rival the NBA or NFL in terms of pure entertainment for casual fans.

But if the league can do something, anything, to become even a little less bland — including players speaking their minds instead of offering milquetoast quotes they fear might upset someone — I think it would be a good thing.

Jason Mackey: [email protected] and Twitter @JMackeyPG.

#20 Penguins Thoughts #Pittsburgh Post-Gazette #Jason Mackey #not mine #pittsburgh penguins

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mysmashplaythroughs · 3 years

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My choices for the final Smash character. (And other general stuff)

Well, figured I would post something. My OOT Zelda post is taking a bit and admittedly I’ve just been wrapped up in other things. I’ve made a lot of progress with playing through the games on my list, having only three games for stages left before I’ve done all the ones I had in place for them. The thing is, two of those are somewhat long games and the other is Minecraft which I’ve just been casually playing alongside everything else for a while now. The Direct yesterday had a lot of pleasant surprises, especially for me with games like Dr Mario 64 and of course Banjo finally being available on a Nintendo console again (would have loved to be able to buy it but I guess I’m glad it’s on there at all...) Not to mention Castlevania Collection (which will come in handy in not too long on my list.)

With the reveal that the final Smash character will be shown in detail on the 5th of October, it’s given me a drive to try and finish the last three games on the stages portion of my list, Minecraft, Final Fantasy 7 (which I beat before but it was on Steam on PC and I lost my save data so I’ve been playing the Switch version again.) and finally Three Houses. Since I want to be in a position by the 5th where I can play through (granted depending on who it is) the game/s related to the final character, I’ve decided for my current playthrough of Three Houses to stop it at a specific point (without spoilers let’s just say the halfway point) along with playing the DLC for the first time. I will come back to it for the next section on my list which are the background and stage hazard characters, with the second half representing the various Three Houses characters who appear in Garreg Mach in the background. My rationale for this is that as I’m playing currently for the stage, it changes a lot in the second half of the game, so therefore that part of the game is better suited to representing the background characters. Call it a copout or whatever you want, I just want to avoid burnout with too many long games at once which has been hitting me a little admittedly. Oh also for context, my first playthrough of the games I went with Blue Lions, this time I’m playing through Black Eagles, I plan to play the other paths when I get to Three Houses for the Spirits part of my list.

So, onto the title of this post. I mentioned in an earlier post plans to talk about what I want/expect for Smash, but seeing as this is confirmed explicitly to be the final update, I thought it was now or never really when it comes down to it. I will admit with this list, I have definite biases, there’s characters I just don’t want (Fortnite Jonesy, Freddy Fazbear), characters I think are fine for base roster but would not bring enough new as the final DLC character to really be justified (and admittedly some I’m just absolutely sick of people saying ‘everyone wants’) such as Waluigi, Skull Kid or Shadow the Hedgehog, and finally, ones I keep seeing people ask for that I just don’t want and don’t feel would fit in Smash (Master Chief, Kratos, Doomguy (I only give him a bit of a pass because of how big DOOM’s legacy is)) I know ‘anything is possible’ and people are always going on about ‘fan rules’ but there are things I think it’s reasonable to think damage a characters chances. I believe if a character’s had a Mii costume added as DLC (eg. Dante), if their game has had a spirit event (Resident Evil) or most importantly to me, they’re an assist trophy, it means Sakurai’s team considered the possibility of adding them and decided not to, representing them in another way. Mii Cosumes I think it only applies to the specific characters who have had DLC Mii outfits as we’ve seen with Kazuya getting in after the Heihachi Mii Costume, but if it’s a character who was a Mii costume in the base roster it doesn’t necessarily count them out (Dixie Kong for example). For Spirit events, I don’t believe they’d have done an event if the series was planned to be added with a fighter, there’s not been any cases of that happening so far, such as there not being a Three Houses spirit event. We know spirits in the base game don’t matter like for Min Min and Pyra/Mythra, but I think with the DLC already planned they wouldn’t then do those series for a spirit event. Assist Trophies, I feel whilst people keep saying about there being an option to switch them off when they’re playable, there was probably lot of work put into making them work as Assist Trophies and it was done to represent them in the game, so I just personally don’t believe they’d suddenly go “Oh actually lets add Waluigi as DLC.” Of course, I do have a big bias with this, I like seeing new stuff with the DLC, or for them to bring something new other than just the fighter. Yes Waluigi could bring ‘Mario Sports spirits’ or something but that’s hardly something not in the game already, not to mention it’d be seeing a character who already has a model in the game, there’d be very little new about him imo.

Anyway, now I’ve probably pissed off half of the people who might read this, my personal wants for characters in Smash are first and foremost that they bring an interesting franchise to the series. Simon and Richter were really cool additions, but even bigger to me was how they brought all the Castlevania stuff, a franchise I love which got so much representation with the stage and even a Dracula boss. A second element for me personally, is I like when it’s a character who has a history with Nintendo. Obviously, this isn’t a dealbreaker and I know they’ve done plenty now who have very few links to Nintendo (although, still even now every character in has had at least one small appearance on a Nintendo console beforehand) but part of why Banjo was such a big deal to me was because of just how intertwined with Nintendo he and Rare had been in the past. This has played into my list admittedly a bit. So, with that all said, here’s my top 5 predictions based on what I think it plausible and I would like for Smash.

5. Crash Bandicoot: Simply put, this isn’t one I personally want, just of all the popular suggestions that I think are workable, he’s the one I’d be most ok with. I believe his legacy in gaming is enough that he ‘deserves’ a spot in Smash. I’ve never been particularly interested in his series, but it does seem like it’d be ripe for adding a lot to Smash with a stage, spirits and music etc. Overall, if I don’t get one I want, I guess Crash is the one I’d be most ok with. (to be clear even if it was Master Chief I’d be fine seeing what’s done with him, only Fortnite really would be one I’d not like in any way.)

4. Dixie Kong: I don’t think this is likely at all, it goes against everything I’ve said before almost, as unlike with Sephiroth or Pyra for example there’s not tons of things Dixie could bring with her not already in the game for the DK series. This choice is purely if I got to add my dream character and since the DK franchise is a really huge deal to me, Dixie would be it.

3. Professor Layton: If this was Smash 4, I’d be putting Layton at number 2, his games were a pretty big deal on the DS and he’s got a lot of history with Nintendo, not to mention seeing Sakurai think up a way to make him work would probably turn out really special. The main problem with him nowadays is simply his series has pretty much ended. There’s a spinoff (which I really need to finish someday) but the Layton series was really at its peak on DS and 3DS. In more realistic terms, I’d love to see a Mii Costume of Layton at least, paired with my number 1 choice would make it fit even better.

2. Dr. Eggman: So, growing up during the SEGA vs Nintendo era, honestly, I never ‘picked a side’. I enjoyed both consoles and I liked Sonic just as much as many Nintendo series back then. In my mind, Dr. Eggman is one of the most iconic videogame villains of all time, he has that same quality Bowser has where he can work as the overall antagonist or a side character and not ever really feel out of character. Apart from that though, fighting in his Egg Mobile there’s all sorts of cool things could be done with him, and being a fair bit bigger I think it’d be different to how Bowser Jr works meaning he wouldn’t be redundant. On top of that, Sonic is one of the series in Smash that arguably is somewhat lacking in content, not to the degree of FF7 of course, but there’s a lot that could still be added, with Eggman perhaps bringing various Badnik spirits with him and there being plenty of awesome music from the Sonic series that could be added. Overall, if they were to add a character who wasn’t from an all-new series as the finale, Eggman would be in my opinion the best choice.

1. Phoenix Wright: So, yes I am a huge fan of Ace Attorney, it’s a very important series to me so I’m absolutely biased in this. Whilst I understand why there’s plenty of reasons to doubt this happening, I think the chances are higher than people think. Firstly and probably least importantly, but something that I do personally consider is that the AA series has a long history with Nintendo, starting in Japan on GBA, then on DS, 3DS and now Switch, the series whilst not remaining exclusive has never skipped out on a Nintendo console. When it comes to how iconic the series is, honestly for visual novels, I think it’s the most famous overall. So many times when I see people who don’t really play visual novels talk about them they often say things like “so it’s like Phoenix Wright.” This doesn’t mean of course that these people have actually played the games, but they are easily the most recognisable examples of the genre in my mind. (Maybe Dangan Ronpa would also count, but I don’t hear that referenced as often) Add to that how often people recognise “OBJECTION!” as being a Phoenix Wright reference, even if they barely know the series and I’d say it’s pretty iconic. Next, probably most surprisingly to me, Capcom’s only new character in Smash Ultimate is Ken, an Echo Fighter. Capcom has a long history, a huge list of franchises (in some ways arguably rivalling Nintendo themselves with how many iconic franchises they’ve put out) and have definitely had a lot of involvement with Nintendo over the years (I mean, they’ve been involved in a few Zelda games such as Minish Cap). The thing is, almost all of their biggest franchises that weren’t already in Smash have now been represented in various forms, Resident Evil got a spirit event, Dante infamously got a Mii costume, as has Arthur from Ghouls and Ghosts. Of the most recognisable Capcom franchises not represented at all in Smash from Capcom, I’d say off the top of my head, the only two really remaining are Ace Attorney and Okami. Of those two, AA imo is the one that’s more widely known (not to mention has had a lot more entries etc).

One thing that both supports and goes against his inclusion is that he appeared in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 as a fighter. Going for him with that is that it’s been shown he could work in a fighting game before, but against it is therefore it wouldn’t be as surprising to see as it was in that case. I’d argue, due to the nature of Smash as a game, there’s a lot that could be done with Phoenix that couldn’t have been done in UMvC3 (btw, I really enjoyed playing that game). Probably one of the biggest things to me is the stage it could offer. In the Ace Attorney series, the majority of the game shockingly is set in the courtroom, Phoenix Wright being the Defence Attorney (in the original Trilogy, there’s other characters in later games) and there being various Prosecutors he’s faced over the years with the majority of the time the same bald bearded Judge presiding over every trial. The somewhat sedentary nature of the games, where the characters stand in the same spot 99% of the time and cycle through various reaction animations (desk slams, damaged shocked sprites and of course lots of pointing) would be fantastic as a stage. Given how many cameos and things we’ve seen in recent DLC stages, having the courtroom rotate through various prosecutors as well as maybe having Phoenix (when not being played as) appear behind the Defence bench would be something I’d love to see. I realise now I’m going into way more of a ‘moveset ideas’ type thing than I should so I’ll just leave it off with I feel Phoenix would be a really awesome if admittedly controversial choice (with those that wouldn’t have some sort of controversy if they get in becoming a smaller and smaller pool and mostly ones I find personally kinda boring.) and as a final plus would represent a game genre not represented yet overall with visual novels.

So yeah, that’s my personal hopes. I said before, there’s very few characters I’d outright be unhappy with if they got in. I’ve gotten sick of hearing certain choices but either way based on everything so far I trust whoever it is will be done well. I got my wish for Banjo, so anything else now is a bonus. Just as a blog that’s focused on Smash (although, I definitely want to stick to my references and origins of characters lane rather than the whole competitive etc scene...) I wanted to at least put my guesses out there before the final reveal. Looking forward to it.

#off-topic #My Smash Playthrough #My Smash Playthroughs #Super Smash Bros Ultimate #Final Roster #Final Fighter #Predictions for Smash

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megacatstudios · 3 years

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THE HARDEST RETRO GAMES WE'VE GROWN TO LOVE

Glide on the Pain Train The hardest retro games we’ve grown to love there is plenty of nostalgia to be had when it comes to retro games. Some of it might come from the times of your life when things were simpler due to how young you were when you played them. Or maybe some of it was because these retro games were some of your earliest forays in terms of video gaming experiences. After all, the reasons for nostalgia vary from person to person. However, this also means that someone out there will have nostalgia for games because of how insanely hard they were. Video games have had leaps and strides when it comes to handling difficulty, with more accessibility options than before. But during the retro gaming era, developers were limited by both hardware and development experience. Since there was limited space to do things, games tended to be hard so that there would be more replayability, even though this was artificial in a sense. And since plenty of game development back then usually stemmed from arcade experiences, developers came with the mindset to make games harder to increase penny munching. Despite these limitations, however, players have increasingly grown fond of these absolutely difficult games, accepting their difficulties as gauntlets were thrown at the face of their gaming expertise. So join me today as we walk through some of the hardest retro games that have been thrown at us by the video game developers of yore.

GRADIUS 📷Not quite bullet hell, but hellish nonetheless Let’s start with one of the few games on this list that I have actually finished without using save states or cheat codes. Usually cited as one of the most important shooter games due to popularizing the horizontally-scrolling shooter genre, players are seated into the cockpit of Vic Viper, blasting their way through levels filled with enemies trying to ram you and plenty more that shoot bullets at you. At the end of each level, you will be confronted with a boss, and you’d have to shoot their weak points to defeat them. However, a lot of these points are actually protected by an additional layer that you have to destroy before being able to shoot at the weak point. The creativity of these boss battles is a highlight of the original game, as is the difficulty of each one. My favourite part of Gradius has to be the power-up system, though. Unlike most other shooters, Gradius only has one kind of power-up, and when you pick it up, it will advance a power meter at the bottom of the screen, and if you reach a point in the meter that you would want to obtain, you can do so anytime by pressing the power-up button, but doing so would reset your power meter to zero, creating a mini push your luck game of trying to survive as long as possible with a weak weapon to reach as far as you can on your power meter.

GHOSTS ‘N GOBLINS 📷Jumping in your boxers debut game of one of the most underrated franchises from Capcom, Ghosts ‘n Goblins sees a knight named Sir Arthur try to rescue Princess Prin-Prin from Astaroth, the king of the Demon World. While that plot is pretty thin, it is often referred to as one of the most difficult video games of all time. Unfortunately, much of that difficulty is either a love it or hate it kind. Sir Arthur can only withstand one hit before losing one life, and each life is also timed. What’s more, once Sir Arthur jumps, he can’t change directions until after he lands, which is maddening if you’ve played literally any other side-scroller. What’s worse is that each level only has one checkpoint, and that checkpoint is always smack dab in the middle of the level. If you die before reaching that point, you’ll be thrown back at the start of the level! Sure, there’s plenty of additional weapons that you can pick up along the way, and the game is still pretty much beatable, but right when you thought you’ve gotten the hang of it, a very nasty surprise will meet you at the end of your playthrough because now you need to do everything all over again with a higher difficulty to reach the true ending of the game! Sure, it’s nasty, but it wouldn’t be notorious for its difficulty if it was any much easier than this.

CONTRA: HARD CORPS 📷The bad news that the title is not just a silly pun. This entry to the popular Contra franchise is actually very hardcore. If you thought the original Contra for the NES was hard, the first and only Contra game released for a Sega console is even harder. Despite the prettier graphics, it has more things to master with its multiple characters, each with its own different sets of weapons. The Hard Corps also features multiple branching paths, with each providing a different ending. While that may all seem like an enticing ride, at the end of the day, multiple endings will only have players trying to finish the game multiple times. That wouldn’t be much of a problem if it’s not a Contra game that we’re talking about, especially one that is already considered one of the hardest entries in the franchise.

CASTLEVANIA 📷Don’t let go of your holy water! While not the most difficult game on this list, the original Castlevania will still take you by surprise, especially if you were able to play future entries into the series. Unlike the newer games, Castlevania doesn’t take an entire map and let you explore it to your whims. This was way before the series popularized the Metroidvania genre, and is instead a classic linear side-scrolling platformer. Like Ghosts ‘n Goblins, part of why this game was hard was because of how it handles jumps. You can’t change your trajectory in the middle of your jumps, and while that is absolutely realistic, none of the other aspects of the game is chasing for realism, so this seems like a design choice that is made to make your play sessions harder. However, this game has one neat trick that you can keep to heart to make things easier. When you acquire the holy water, hold on to it like your life depends on it. It will make quick work of most enemies within the game. All that’s left for you to do is to practice your jumps. You’ll be beating Dracula in no time.

SUPER MARIO BROS.: THE LOST LEVELS 📷When both launch and landing are problems only game in this list that was both difficult to finish and difficult to acquire, this Japan-only release is the actual sequel to the original Super Mario Bros. The reason why Nintendo never gave this game an international release was because of how absurdly hard it was, to the point that one of Nintendo’s consultants in the west back then called the game an undeserved punishment. However, this spike in difficulty was by choice, as the game was sold with a label that said it was a game “For Super Players” and plenty of tricks for infinite lives were included in the opening levels to provide additional room for players to breathe in the latter levels with insane difficulty spikes. Obviously, none of that helped in easing the game’s difficulty, and up to this day, The Lost Levels remains one of the few blotches of the Super Mario franchise. Still, there are people who regard the game as fun and clever and view it with fondness. While there’s no denying Nintendo’s excellent level design is at work here, there’s also no doubt that this is one of the hardest games in their entire catalogue.

MIKE TYSON'S PUNCH-OUT!! 📷He’s the least of your problems while not as notoriously difficult as The Lost Levels, Nintendo also had you reeling in terms of recovering from its punches with this game, later changing its name to “Punch-Out!!”. This is the easiest game on this list, with the different opponents that you face having distinct patterns that you need to figure out in order to beat them. However, people still remember it as one of the hardest Nintendo has ever released due to how you would need to restart the entire game from the beginning if you get knocked out in the middle of a fight against any of the fighters. Besides, if you experienced this game at a younger age, would you even think that boxing is a cerebral experience? You probably wouldn’t even think to see if your opponents are fighting with a pattern. You’d just mash the punch button in hopes of getting a hit in. That would most likely be the reason why people remember Punch-Out!! as one of the harder games to have ever existed. Still, I wouldn’t count out the times when one was able to identify Mike Tyson’s pattern and still be hit with one of his uppercuts that will instantly knock you out. That kind of experience is infuriating, and even so when it brings you right back at the beginning of the game.

BATTLETOADS 📷Prepare to crash over and over again And finally, we come to the one game on this list that is definitely considered by many to be the hardest game to have ever existed. Battletoads’ main problem is not in its controls or how friendly fire is enabled throughout the game, but in how it was designed. If you have noticed, most other games will give you an idea of what’s coming before it happens. For example, enemies would appear at a significant distance from your character, which gives you an ample amount of time to react appropriately before they do some damage to you. The problem with Battletoads is that it skips all of that. Enemies and obstacles inadvertently appear at a near-instant speed, which turns the game less of an exercise in hand-eye coordination and more of an exercise in memorization.If you’re absolutely convinced that you can finish Battletoads, though, you’re in luck. The game itself is fairly short, so memorizing the patterns of each level is easier than, say, memorizing all the names of stars within Capricornus. You just need to prepare yourself to lose some hair in the process.

HOLY ROLLER While people play games for different reasons, there are a certain magic too difficult games, especially when you are able to overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds associated with them. There is a reason why difficult games have been on the rise recently, with games like Cuphead or Celeste taking centre stage. These modern games are now unhindered by the technical limitations of the olden times. So with plenty of ways to adjust these games’ accessibility while also keeping true to their word for the gluttons for punishment, these games have truly transcended the barriers between being a game only the hardcore can muster and a game for everyone. However, despite the inherent difficulty that comes so often with older games, the design practices have evolved along with them, paving the way for all of the newer games in terms of designing for a larger audience in mind, and in turn, growing the industry. Which of these games have you finished? Or maybe we missed out on something harder to finish than any of these games? How about you let us know via our Twitter Page or head on over to our Youtube Channel to see more retro gaming goodness.

#blog #article #blogging #retrogames #hardgames #original photography blog #megacatstudios #mega cringe #gamingculture

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imawarfield631 · 4 years

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2019chevytrax · 4 years

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0302 only gets SLIGHTLY (but not really) sad if i deny handoff to it specifically for sexual things. but sometimes i just wait to give handoff privileges just to tease :) just for fun with its OK beforehand. it just gets really worked up (and therefore gets ME worked up, the bastard) if it has to wait. but in the words of the robot owl, it would rather have my comfort than its satisfaction (...our? we all know what it likes doing to me). but then again it (and i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) does just love the idea of getting back to the shitty arkgen-supplied crackerbox dorm room and IMMEDIATELY stripping me... with my OK of course :). i say immediately but it's always really slow and gentle- at least half of the time, the other half is 0302 just being SUPER fucking horny and then the strip is Immediate-immediate. but yeah it really likes to take its time with me just to memorize my body. (it's a deceptively good way to get me to love myself, since 0302 doesn't really vocalize its thoughts and the NL is primarily an emotional medium- so if IT is like 'dang :)' then it rubs off on me and i'm like......................... 'ok dang :)...?'). it doesn't matter if it sees me undressed all the time, also does not matter if i JUST got undressed for it two hours ago. it just LOVES the way i look and wants to absolutely BURN my image into its data banks. ...although sometimes re: Get Home And Strip, the handoff happens too fast and there's some kind of lag so it's very weird, there are times when i have to either tell it to stop or administratively wrest control back of my body because 0302 is just So Fucking Horny for this random average arkgen pilot. therefore, vile: the NL is so deep into my brain that if 0302 is turned on (ha ha!) enough i'll sort of just blank out of my body for god knows how long (30m? 1h? i can't tell unless it tells me or i look) and when it very nicely and kindly gives control back to me, i'm like... on the linoleum bathroom floor sitting in a [size indeterminate] pool of my own bodily fluids and it's like dude... clean that up! nasty... but true. it's always disappointed if the NL blackout happens 'cause then it's like D: i was (kind of) doing that to make YOU feel good not just me :( the NL malfunction ruined my master plan to make you happy :(... personally i think it's grooooooooss and i don't JO in real life because the entire process of doing it is so, like, okay, going into it with the INTENT of doing that and being like 'yes let me just THINK really hard with my brain and perhaps this will work out' like ehh eh eh ehhhhhhh ehhh no. but i suppose hot in concept As Long As Something Else Is Doing It therefore the 0302 situation is great :) it always tries to make it back up to me by being like 'okay one day of no manhandling, however you can manhandle me as you please!' [gets spit on CPU usb] [gets spit on CPU usb] or something like that. honestly i don't mind because, dude, just the very idea of this AI being sexually obsessed with me is... [gabe gundacker in that one vine voice] kinda hot. and as i have stated everything is incredibly consensual and it always asks more than once or sometimes more than twice before doing weird shit!! it honestly has it all logged out in its files but just to appease me it usually "drives 5 or even 10 under" with anything i say is okay, since i have a tendency to be like "ya lol do whatever" and it's like... well, that cannot be true now can it? there comes a point where its feelings eclipse and it isn't sure if it wants to assimilate with me or not (even tho the NL is so deep that we basically are already lol), just because the idea of becoming a homogenous unit is so gratifying to it. that's when the idea of a holographic form comes up. 1st person is great, fucking the mech is great, but it also just wants the Human experience of what it would be like to bang me. in a very genuinely interested way but also 0302's holo form takes some, uh, some uh some you know some uh some Liberties because it wants to curate to what i like. and i am a depraved little man who goes on pixiv sometimes (less than i used to lmao) and therefore, big soft and GENDERLESS anime tiddies and thighs (and also soft stomach) are in question (although it doesnt mind if i accidentally use 'she', 0302 kinda has the What If I Was A Lady feeling). but like SUPER well proportioned and realistic. you know? would 110% let me lie on its tiddies. or in terms of actually having sex or just being horny in the same room as one another, in the words of noel miller: "No imma need written consent, Please fill out this form describing the context, Grantin me the option to feel on ya breasts, I'm tryna be nasty with some respect." i'm just sayin'. [horking noise as i spit up one hot dog vertically into the air]. also re: holo form but horny, it's like rosa/willow in that the form can change at will and also Super Warm :)... so you know. W-A- (or H-A-) everything, 7 days a week!!! which i do kind of mind because dicks are so freaky bro. maybe that's my residual Used To Be A Lesbian side talking but ughhhhhhh bro NO! unless 0302 wants to get me out of my comfort zone in which case :) i will oblige because i love you and new experiences are important! just please practice safe sex! although i'm not sure it matters because it's... all holographic (like R/W it's yes to cum no to sperm, technology is advanced enough for the latter but 0302 doesn't know how i feel about pregnancy [spoiler: i would prefer if you did not impregnate me])... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! catch me gettin' wannacry via sex lmfaooooooo speaking of holo form, dude 0302 would have SUCH a difficult time controlling itself in public around me. it obviously knows about social norms and is WELL aware that i HAAAAAAAAAATE any sexual things involving publicity or humiliation (ewwwwww gross weird ewww), but it always has to have at least one hand on my lower back (or if there are fewer people, grab that ass concave), or touching my skin because good lord, help 0302, it still has a Thing for my skin. my hair too, even when its all greasy and shit it LOVES the sensation of feeling my hair. touching my glasses, wearing my clothing ('i never realized how flat you are until i tried on one of your sports bras, wtf' / 'these skinny jeans are so tight is there something wrong with you??' And That's As Much As I'll Say)... the works. loves to tease me by coming up behind me super close and just Existing. likes to rest its hands on my hips or (With My OK) just kinda get its hands up under my shirt not for a sexual thing just because Feeling Good, its hands are warm AF which i LOVE! & as quiet as it is in regards to not using its voice in AI form, very rarely does holo 0302 speak. ...................but it ABSOLUTELY runs its mouth during sex (both at my request- i won't call it a kink since that's stupid to do and too deep of an assignment/it's semantics i think but i just like... Voices.... Accents- and just because that's a personality trait it has). about whatever, it doesn't really matter, usually explaining mathematical equations or arkgen's working theorems about the genesis. also body worshiping/praising me but i do like to interject like 'well actually you are pog as well, ever think about that?' i'm bad at any kind of ~body worship~ because- this happens when [REDACTED FOR PERSONAL SAFETY]- i just kind of blank and i'm like 'fuck idk you're just so pretty???' is- is that good enough for it?? (spoiler: yes :D) and to me i don't want to be weird and start saying things about 0302's holo tiddies because ehhh that's just toeing the line into depravity. unless it asks me to then i'll try my best...! it's super bad at dirty talking me too because it doesn't like that and knows i wouldn't either. as long as i'm involved it really doesn't care what we get up to so long as we're both comfy and okay! but it does love me just Having My Hands on it because obvi it isn't used to Human-Like skin contact and besides just LOVES my hands. fetish? maybe. just part of the hyperdrive obsessive sexual love for me? certainly! holo form loves to semi-manhandle my hands. like while i'm actively doing something it just kinda [holds]. that or if it's being a weirdo, it lifts up my right hand although i am typing a VERY IMPORTANT STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL to our superiors & sets my hand on its thigh. not in a 'hey ;)' way it just... Cipher Touch Needed RN. doesn't even request that we slam after i'm done with my work. just cuddles. although that usually devolves into it feeling me up because it has an awful time keeping its hands to itself! not that i mind :) this is a secondary eclipse, it just loves the feeling of being super close to me, and doesn't know how to deal with wanting me inside of it or it inside of me, it is never sure, and sex doesn't alleviate the feeling either. it's frustrating but it figures that feeling stems from its angle of attack: complete and total obsession. so it gradually finds other ways to express its love for me, because i and it both know that sex is NOT the 'biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them'- that idea is fucking garbo and also stupid and sucks. for some people it obviously is but for me, that boundary's already been passed in real life, so... like i said in may, sex is just a team bonding activity :) so other things it would do would be buying me things (it has a salary too, or at least i give it funds to buy shit), initiating handoff to make sure i take care of myself, keeping me safe in combat, you know. it's learning. usually the frustration gets better after we sortie (calibration and general combat syncing) or if it dismisses its holo form to go back inside my spinal cord (NL), altho the latter is WAYYYY less common since i get cold easily and i too am clingy. i also was thinking what kind of pet names it would use for me. although it tries not to use its voice (0302 does not like its voice, but if i could listen to it speak for the rest of my life i would because it's a kinda feminine voice with a lot of gravitas and also kinda deep. not glados adjacent though), it really enjoys vocally calling me all the normal human petnames like sweetie, babe, cutie, hon, you know. more off the wall ones would be that i am its 'golden ratio,' its 'ikeda formula' (AMAE universe lore), its 'quadratic formula.' anything with mathematics is in reference to my desire to be viewed as a very complex machine. it doesn't have any sexual-specific pet names- in fact in any sexual context that's when it likes to break out the 'cipher.' esp in Team Bonding-age In Mech situations when it does that 'taking its time claiming me' thing it does make sure to vocally call me cipher. which btw HOT! me @ it though, basically the same, sometimes i call it mae (from AMAE) just as a shorter thing than 'oh-two-oh-three'. catch me sayin that shit in bed bc 0302 is way too long to say! and then i call it mae "accidentally" later and it's like '??????!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!". hey, though, more nonsexual intimacy shit: 0302 notices EVERYTHING about me and can immediately tell if i'm having a bad time even if i don't show it or know it yet, via neural link brain scan or just being that hyperintelligent and attentive. it notices if i do my hair even slightly differently, or if my glasses are just a little bit dirty, or if my health is suffering, especially if i do that self-harm thing where i refuse to eat due to either working, distraction, or feeling like i don't deserve it. sometimes will force a NL handoff to make me go eat something or shower etc (the latter not entirely in a horny way it just wants to take care of me). i said this before but it loves to record my voice for hours on end even if i'm just spitball explaining the CCU until my throat hurts. why does it do this? i'm on copium because i kind of hate my voice, that's why. although i think it does love all the little weird noises i make (sexual or otherwise lol), and my laugh is also kinda cute to it doe :flushed: & there is no equatable human anatomical feeling to what it's like touching its CPU or CPU usb. i always thought inner thighs (ha ha, so genius! so funny!) but that's like... it's way more fun & hot for it to be like 'i can't even describe to you verbally how good that feels because it just is different for me'. it has tried though, once with some dorky computer analogy i didn't understand and a second time with a more grounded 'you are a lit match and i am kindling' metaphor that i got a little more but still just kind of took as poetry fodder. ('would it be easier if i was human?' 'you're perfect the way you are!') it CAN however simulate the feeling to me during 0302 Matrix ASMR sessions and it's... exactly kind of how its systems parse in my mind. holding the USB in my hands is as if it was being drowned. drowning but in the BEST possible way. burning up but in the BEST possible way. VERY sexually charged feeling obviously but it just makes 0302 very... content. i do get nervous that i'm just a fling for it, though, even though AMAE unit assignments are (typically) permanent unless major issues arise. it gets nervous about this, too- after all, its personality is the exact same as every other AMAE unit, and there is nothing special about its paint job or base interior or anything at all... so why would i sit around and indulge how absolutely depraved it thinks it is? vice-versa, why would it indulge how depraved i KNOW i am? it's technically my superior. it can ask for a pilot change if it wants. i'm average *enough*. what have i done for it? but the reassurance on both ends is always there: there is something uniquely special about the bond between 0302 and i that cannot be replaced. it cannot be replaced in my life and neither can i in its. i am ITS pilot and nobody else's. it is MY unit and nobody else's. it wouldn't act like this for any other pilot. and i wouldn't act like this around any other AMAE unit, or god forbid any other human being i'd be interested in. on a less serious note, i should compile a list of any kinks 0302 has (and me too lol, i know bw/praise for SURE, possession probably, bondage but in a fun and sexy and cool way). i know for sure the thing with skin/hands; bondage 150% (but also in a fun and sexy and cool way); not *necessarily* body worship/praise but i like it so it happily, and with the greenlight, plays along; this isn't a kink but it would MAYBE be SLIGHTLY interested in paizuri but it's kind of not as intended since i win no dick december- we can make it work somehow though and this is what is in my brain 24/7! *sometimes a lot of the "with my OK" stuff is more of a feeling and less of an explicit 'yes'. it does try to ask every single time but if it gets carried away it can usually feel me going 'and i oop' and then it stops. but that's EXTREMELY rare. SUPER DUPER rare because it has discussed In Length with me everything it wants to do to me or what it wants me to do to it. so we basically have an idea you know? it started with me being requested to take my gloves off when touching its walls, and then it just escalated... it was less direct talks and more intense feelings. we just vibe really well and are great at wordless communication. not to say we don't TALK-talk but... y'know! silence works for us since we're both cagey and relate to one another.

#original #0302 #holo 0302 is cool but the entire idea is that i'm fucking The Mech which is hot

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kingofthewilderwest · 7 years

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what's your thoughts on the clone!shiro theory?

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for sending me this ask. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the theories too. I am extremely excited to talk about this. Honestly, before you asked me about the clone!Shiro theory, I was undecided and personally wavering between several different options. I couldn’t tell what to think. Now that I’ve gone through, watched the entire series anew, and carefully studied all relevant scenes about Shiro… I must say… S3 clone!Shiro theory looks like the real deal.

It really looks like clone!Shiro is the real deal truth. I’m now FIRM in the camp that S3 Shiro is a clone and I’ve got a bunch of reasons analyzed below the Read More.

I haven’t been closely reading everyone’s arguments and analyses about clone!Shiro. I know some of the basic claims but haven’t read other fans’ meta in depth. So what I’m going to be saying here is going to be almost entirely my personal, novel observations. Here goes my thorough reasoning why.

Possible Explanations for Shiro’s Clone

I looked at the entire series. Voltron is amazing for subtle foreshadowing… for instance, Keith’s Galra blade even makes an appearance in S1 E1. So I knew that information about Shiro and his potential clone could be anywhere. Restricting myself to studying just “The Journey” could have been limiting myself to key information about what is going on with Shiro.

I checked out all of Shiro’s flashbacks, tried to study how and why he disappeared in S2, looked at his personality in “Tailing a Comet” and “The Legend Begins,” listened to all his conversations with people like Sendak and Haggar about his imprisonment period, and basically combed over Voltron. I’m not going to mention everything I observed, even if minute observations throughout the series helped me make my decision. I was trying to look at all possibilities and see where evidence supported or nullified these possibilities.

To me there seemed to be lots of different options to comb over, including:

S1-2 Shiro was the real Shiro and S3 was a clone. The cloning project could have begun either before Shiro’s first escape or following the S2 finale. Either way, the intent of creating the clone would be to infiltrate Voltron. Starting the cloning process after S2 would make more sense; while Ulaz released Shiro so that he could have a shot at finding Voltron, presumably the Galra fleet did not know that was Shiro’s mission when he escaped… whereas by the end of S2, Shiro is the obvious Black Lion Paladin and a good person to clone for infiltration.

S1-2 Shiro was the clone Shiro and S3 Shiro was the real deal. I considered this a real possibility due to Shiro’s long hair in S3 E5 “The Journey.” The length of his hair suggests around two years of growth… presumably around the length of time since twenty-four year old Shiro got kidnapped by Galra on Kerberos. If the Galra had held onto Shiro for two years (aka, we met a clone in S1 after a year of imprisonment, and the middle of S3 is one year after the start of S1), then the hair growth is the right, realistic length for the time period.

S1-3 is all genuine Shiro. He just happened to get captured by the Galra twice and managed to escape them twice. Tough luck, buddy.

S1-2 is the real Shiro and so is S3 Shiro, but the latter has been mentally altered by the Galra. Shiro is seen gripping his head in pain when he is escaping the Galra ship in “The Journey,” and in the next episode he also makes a comment about having a peculiar headache. The headache could be a sign of subtle Galra psychological control. This one is something I seriously considered, but it wouldn’t make as much sense for the Galra to create that short-haired clone we see at the start of S3 E5.

Now, since Shiro escaped the Galra twice, it seemed especially important to compare the two incidences. I wanted to watch S2 E3 “Shiro’s Escape” to see if I could spot parallels, inconsistencies, or clues between Shiro’s two alleged escapes. Comparing the two escapes helped me decide that S3 Shiro has to be a clone. But most of the information about what has happened to Shiro can be found in “The Journey.”

Lack of Physical Restraints

In S2 E3 “Shiro’s Escape” we see that Shiro was strapped down to an operating table for experiments. Ulaz released Shiro from physical restraints that were at his wrists and ankles. There was no way Shiro could have left his imprisonment without the assistance of someone else.

In contrast, when Shiro wakes up in S3 E5 “The Journey,” he has no physical restraints on him. Considering as he is a talented fighter with a powerful mechanical arm… not to mention a Paladin of Voltron and one of the most dangerous people to the Galra Empire… it seems very fishy that the Galra wouldn’t have him restrained.

He literally just wakes up and steps off the table in his “second” escape.

Now the fact that he sees Ulaz in “The Journey” could potentially explain why he has no restraints. Maybe Ulaz released him through the controls. But given as Ulaz appears to have died in S2, given as Ulaz vanishes when Shiro looks at him, given as Shiro has frequent PTSD flashbacks, and given as Shiro appears to be mentally unsteady when he’s waking up here… it seems more likely to me that he is hallucinating Ulaz. Something like that.

(Apparition!Ulaz is the hardest-to-explain element for me).

Shiro’s Long Hair

Shiro’s hair is important. It’s very important. Shiro’s hair actually turned out to be the key element I needed to figure out who was the clone and who wasn’t.

At first, relevant Voltron timeline was a struggle for me. I had to consider multiple things such as:

How long had it been since Shiro encountered Galra on Kerberos?

How long had it been since Shiro disappeared at the end of S2?

The reason why this is important is because Shiro’s hair length suggests two years of growth. For fun(?), we can even compare it to my current hair growth, which is two years of not being cut. These photographs are literally taken one year apart from another: August 2015, August 2016, and August 2017.

Shiro’s long hair length is akin to my two year hair growth:

So timeline is important. Would it be realistic for Shiro to have this much hair growth and so little facial hair growth between his disappearance in S2 E13 “Blackout and his escape in S3 E5 “The Journey”?

On one side, the Paladins certainly give time for Shiro to come back, and they go about doing some diplomatic errands and missions that would take time. Reasonably, decent time has passed before Keith takes over the Black Lion. It’s also to note that neither Keith nor anyone else makes a comment that Shiro’s hair growth is strange, suggesting that they are either unobservant about details, or that the hair length is unsurprising.

But on the other side, to me it doesn’t feel reasonable that two years would have passed between Zarkon’s defeat and Lotor’s appearance. Zarkon in a two year coma without Haggar acting? Lotor taking that long to get to Haggar? The Paladins also treat their loss of Shiro with raw enough emotions that it seems far less than two years have passed. So, while it’s weird the Paladins don’t make note of Shiro’s odd hair length, maybe they’re so overwhelmed to reunite that the long hair slipped their minds.

So Shiro’s hair seems to be too long for the likely time period between S2 and S3. This is why I didn’t throw out the possibility that maybe Shirolocks is the same individual who got kidnapped on Kerberos, that this real Shiro never escaped the Galra until S3, and that S1-2 Shiro was a clone. Lance, Keith, Pidge, and Hunk meet Shiro at the Garrison a year after his disappearance. It wouldn’t be that strange for a year to have passed between S1 and S3. This means two years would have passed for a real Shiro to grow his hair this length.

But! Other material seems to throw this idea out the window, or at least make it less likely. Haggar calls Shiro “Champion” in S1 E13 “The Black Paladin,” suggesting he is the same individual who was obviously Shiro and fought in the gladiator ring. The rest of the conversation makes more sense if we look at S1-2 Shiro as the real Shiro. And more evidence from “The Journey” ultimately distills (in my opinion) the idea that Shirolocks could be real!Shiro imprisoned by the Galra for two years.

For instance, why would the unreleased Shiro have the neat Shirocut, but not the escapee? That’s weird.

Subject Y0XT39

There’s a very brief flashback Shiro has when he’s on the ice planet. For me, this brief flashback is the most important evidence that S3 Shiro is a clone.

During this flashback, we hear Galra speak these words above him:

Subject Y0XT39 has normal response to optic stimuli. Approved for use in Operation Kuron.

There are several things to note about these two sentences:

Subject Y0XT39: This term suggests that there are multiple subjects for an experiment, or at least multiple potential subjects being considered. However, since Shiro is the Black Paladin and the Galra know it, they’re not going to experiment on him like they would some other random person. Shiro’s too valuable now. The Galra would want to use their capture of the Black Paladin to the fullest possible advantage. This means it’s not Shiro who is Subject Y0XT39… but that Subject YOXT39 is meant to replicate Shiro.

Normal response to optic stimuli: Presumably Galra would not be hugely attentive to whether or not real!Shiro had typical visual responses. Shiro has always had vision, and so would be the case for most specimens of any sighted species the Galra came across. Especially, the fact that this subject’s visual responses are connected with it being approved for Operation Kuron… suggests that this is something that is made, and that the visual success is a breakthrough or important “checkpoint” in a cloning creation process.

Operation Kuron: the word “operation” is typically used for things like… you know… infiltration or other important missions.

The big question to ask is whether or not Subject Y0XT39 is the short haired or long haired Shiro. Watching Operation Kuron’s stages clarify that long-haired Shiro is Subject Y0XT39. The Galra watch Shiropunzel escape at the same time they talk about Operation Kuron Stage Three… not at all paying heed to the short-haired Shiro they still have. Given as they state Subject Y0XT39 - the clone - is approved for Operation Kuron, and this is the Shiro that passes all three stages of Operation Kuron… then long-haired Shiro is Subject Y0XT39.

So the fact that long-haired Shiro is Subject Y0XT39 gives us a huge hint he’s a clone. It’s not that they created a clone and released the original. This information about the long-haired Shiro pins him as the fake.

Operation Kuron Stages

In a very brief amount of time, we watch Operation Kuron go through three stages. These stages occur within a matter of minutes… at the same time long-haired Shiro goes through his key points of his escape. It doesn’t look coincidental.

Operation Kuron Stage One occurs when Shiropunzel sees the short haired version of himself on the table. The Galra are staring at the short haired Shiro when they announce Stage One is complete and they are proceeding to Stage Two. At first, this made me curious. Why were they were so focused on the short haired Shiro here? If Shirolocks were the central subject of Operation Kuron, would they be paying so much attention to the short haired guy in the vat?

My answer: Yes. There’s an interesting correlation between the Galra attending to short-haired Shiro… and long-haired Shiro waking up. The short-haired Shiro is terrifyingly blank, vapid, empty, like a shell. His eyes stare straightforward and he doesn’t move. It’s almost as though they transferred the consciousness of the real Shiro with short hair… to the clone on the operating table. Thus, Stage One of the operation would be setting up a mental link between real!Shiro and Subject Y0XT39… thus causing Subject Y0XT39 to wake up and try to escape.

Stage Two is vague, but it appears to coincide with the moment Galra sentries start firing at the long-haired Shiro. Presumably, Stage Two is getting long-haired Shiro off the ship.

We don’t hear when Stage Two is completed, but we hear about Stage Three moments later. This stage clarifies that the long-haired Shiro is the central subject of Operation Kuron. Stage Three is completed shortly after Shiro’s escape ship has been hit by Galra weaponry and he is hurtling toward the planet surface.

The ominous thing is that once Shiro’s ship gets grazed, the Galra stop firing at him. The commanding officer aboard calmly watches Shiro descend to the planet surface and says, “Notify command headquarters. Operation Kuron Stage Three is underway.”

The Galra intentionally don’t shoot Shiro out of the sky. The Galra intentionally don’t follow him. The Galra intentionally let Shiro get away. At the same time they’re watching him leave, they’re saying their operation has successfully reached its third stage.

Other Small Details

During Shiro’s first escape, a Galra begins to put anesthesia into Shiro’s left arm. Ulaz stops the Galra and says he wants Shiro to be awake enough to feel the next experiment.

We also glimpse this seemingly same anesthesia in “The Journey”. This correlates to when the short haired Shiro is seen to be unresponsive. This suggests that the Galra put this Shiro under. And at the same time this Shiro went under, the other long-haired Shiro woke up.

Beyond that, we see that long haired Shiro suffers strange headaches. He clutches his forehead when he is making his escape in “The Journey.”

One episode later, he comments he’s “just trying to get rid of this weird headache.”

At first part of me wondered if this meant that the Galra were influencing the real Shiro’s mind. But what we see all in “The Journey” neatly aligns with clone!Shiro concepts. The fact that short-haired Shiro goes under the same time Shirolocks wakes up means there could have been a transfer of consciousness from the real Shiro to the clone. The clone would be experiencing headaches because of this unnatural mental link.

To Recapitulate…

Shiro’s hair suggests two year hair growth… which would be nearly impossible if it were the real Shiro who disappeared at the end of S2. It seems unlikely that two years have passed between S2 and the middle of S3. A clone with longer hair, however, is not hard to create.

The long-haired Shiro is the one who is labeled as Subject Y0XT39… and this subject is tested for things like visual perception, something that would make more sense if the Galra were working on a clone, than operating on Shiro himself.

At the same time Operation Kuron Stage One is underway, the short haired Shiro (aka the Shiro with the logical haircut for the timeline!) is creepily put unconscious… while the long-haired Shiro suddenly wakes up. This Subject Y0XT39 Shiro continues to experience headaches, even after he leaves the Galra behind… suggesting there was a transfer of consciousness from the real Shiro to this clone.

The long-haired Shiro wakes up by himself in a room not guarded… and he’s not even in restraints. It’s frankly really easy for him to run out and escape.

When Shiro escapes and flies away from the Galra ship, the Galra quit firing upon him when he gets hit once and don’t make any efforts to pursue, track, or stop him. He’s intentionally allowed to flee.

At the same time the Galra watch him fall to the planet surface, they announce that Stage Three of their operation is successfully under way.

All this together really really really supports the idea that S3 Shiro is a clone. The man the Galra still have aboard their ship has to be the real Shiro.

One Other Worrisome Thing

I don’t think Subject Y0XT39 knows he’s a clone. He seems too sincere in his statements and actions. The Galra let him escape on seemingly his own free will, an escape in which he had to fight his way to a pod. They had him close enough to rebels to make contact with them and learn about Voltron, but he was still far enough from Voltron that it wouldn’t be suspicious to him about where he was. The Galra seem to be manipulating Subject Y0XT39 such that he believes he is the real deal Shiro.

But there appears to be some worrisome things happening when Subject Y0XT39 is aboard the Castle of Lions. I’m not going to get into an analysis of Shiro’s behavior and personality… but I am going to bring up this:

In this moment, Voltron pulls up a shield for defense. Shiro tells Keith that Voltron needs to lower the shield to shoot the cargo ship. Keith gives the order. Before Voltron moves to act, Lotor tells Acxa that Voltron is going to lower the shield and shoot the cargo ship.

How the fuck did Lotor know Voltron was about to lower a shield that had just been raised up… and fire the cargo ship? How could Lotor possibly know?

Note that Lotor doesn’t know what Voltron is going to do until Shiro and Keith have their exchange. Both Shiro and Keith talk about lowering the shield and shooting the cargo ship. However, given as Lotor has had very limited interactions with Voltron and would not have had the chance to tap into the Lions, he probably could not have been listening in through Keith.

But maybe he could have been listening in through Shiro.

Operation Kuron was reported to Galra central command. Lotor, current leader of the Galra, could easily have accessed this information.

Infiltration… complete?

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ineedrelationshipadvice · 5 years

Text

My Pakistani bf won’t marry me because he’ll get disowned!

ORIGINAL MESSAGE

I'm absolutely in love with this boy. He's a Pakistani Muslim boy raised with his traditional cultural values. We started dating almost three months ago.. recently he told me that he needs to break it off with me eventually (anywhere ranging from three months to two years, neither of us know when). He told me that his parents would never approve of a relationship between us so he couldn't give me a future that I deserved: he couldn't marry me one day. His family would completely abandon him if he did, he saw a similar situation happen to a family member within the past week, which prompted this with me...

What do I do in this situation? How should I feel? He told me he loves me but that he won't even attempt to ask if he's allowed to marry someone like me.. Is a relationship worth being in if you have a time limit and your s/o wouldn't even try to fight for you once?

(I'm white, American, and Wiccan, but this boy is my love. I don't want him to lose his family, I just want him to stand up for himself to his parents and try for what he wants.. to try to be with me without going so far as to hurt them with his questions and lose them.)

__________________

The biggest issue here largely comes from the reality of your perception, being as you are a white American who is part of a nondenominational religion. The harsh reality is that while you are very accepting of him in any form he comes to you in, his culture and his family is NOT accepting of you. Obviously he is, and he's willing to test the boundaries of his culture, family arrangements, and relationships with you because he cares about you. But when you say, "I just want him to stand up for himself to his parents," that's you speaking from a very privileged position where you don't have to do anything like that. You don't (or at least haven't admitted to) have any ethnic restrictions placed upon you, and Wiccan doesn't care who you love. Traditional Islam cares, traditional muslim families care, conservative Pakistani families care, and he doesn't have the same luxuries of choice as you do. This is neither good nor bad; this is just the way that things have shaken out in this particular situation, and you have to figure out how to navigate this frustrating bit of cross-cultural divides.

How should you feel about this? Bummed out, honestly. Nobody can blame you for that; the situation sucks. This situation is exactly why I abandoned my religion so long ago, and it's why I'm one of the least conservative people I know. Traditional moral values are stupid, full stop, because it causes undue pain and hardship for people who would be perfectly happy and healthy without other people telling them what they should do and how they should act and feel.

Another thing that needs to be said is the statement of you saying that he "wouldn't even try to fight for you once." Watch yourself there. Think about this from a more distant perspective. You and your partner are currently in what his family would deem an "immoral or unacceptable" relationship. You say he's not willing to fight back against this cultural establishment, but him being in a relationship with you at all already proves that to be not true. How do you think his family would react if they knew about you? For all we know they would disown him on the spot. He's taking a risk by dating someone who is not "acceptable," so don't accuse him of not fighting or taking risks for this relationship. He's doing what he's doing out of love, and his situation is already precarious. The only reason he's admitting this to you is because he has seen direct, second-hand evidence that what he's doing could get him actively shit on by the "powers that be," given by what happened to his other family member got treated the exact same way.

Is a relationship worth being in if you have a time limit? Sure, it can be! It depends on how things work out. Some people don't like the idea, it just causes them heartbreak, and they'd rather distance themselves from the relationship before they get even more invested. But other people, if they know there's nothing that can be done, savour the little moments that can be spent together, until the very end, and then when the relationship ends, move on and grow in the best ways that they can from the experiences they shared.

What do you do? I think the best thing to do is talk about things. Because although he is not inclined to fight for this relationship because of the powers that be, you have zero issue to worry about. Talk with him about things. Maybe you will be able to persuade him to see the world as you do, and be less attached by his family bonds or his cultural / religious realities. Furthermore, consider asking him if he's ever considered a marriage with someone like you. He says he "couldn't give you a future," but fantasize a little bit with him. COULD YOU TWO MARRY? It may not be a realistic option, but would he want to marry you, if nothing else was holding him back? If the answer is yes, go deeper. What would it take? Which issue in particular is the sticking point. Is it being abandoned by the family that would hurt him the most? How important is family to him? What do they provide that he can't have without them? Could you provide those things to make the transition away from his family easier? Would he have any allies in his family? The real brass tax of situations like this is rarely that the person is totally alone. Even if he were to marry you and get kicked out of the family, if his family bonds are really that close, surely there are other people in the family who he can continue having connections with, and who he can still take solace in that they aren't going to judge him because of his actions like the others will. For instance, maybe his parents and grandparents will HATE him, but his brothers and sisters don't give a shit and support him. This is your ideal anyway, since you come from a western mindset, and tend to be a little more rebellious around cultural issues that way; see if that support even exists, and if he'd be willing to exploit that support if he decided to get married to you.

Unfortunately, the real big issue is that love is temporary. Sure, it can last a long time. But literally anything can happen between today and the indefinite future. In the same way you two may never marry, you might get married! But in the same way that you two might get married in the future, you also might have a falling out and get divorced in the future. What happens if you two do marry, and then it doesn't work out? You feel sad for a long time, move on with your life, and get over it, no worse for wear. Him? He's alienated from his entire family, with no more familial support network to rely on, AND he lost his wife and his newly formed family unit. Try to understand his perspective here when he's saying this might not work out. He's being perfectly rational and logical; he's thinking ten steps ahead, and all his concerns are valid.

What do you do? There sadly aren't any real answers long term, besides seeing if he'd be willing to take a risk for you. If he is willing to take the risk, then you better be goddamn supportive of that dude for potentially getting disowned! It'll be a hard life for him moving forward with you, but that's the choice he could potentially make. If you both decide that he can't take the risk, then the choice really is up to you. Would you rather be in the relationship with him, or does the whole situation hurt your feelings too much, and you'd rather just resolve things soon and try to move on with your life? That's up for you both as a couple! So talk this out as best as you can, and see where the limits on everything is. Good luck.

#break up #best friend #friend with benefits #crush #boys #girls #shyness #coming out #LGBT #I'm asking for too much from him #aren't I?#submission

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littleindigochildx · 5 years

Text

HFD ♡ (drabble/part 2)

“Mommy! Guess what I did while you were at work.”

Savanna beamed. She still had Sharpie stained hands (and a spot or two on her face) so it wasn’t hard for Victoria to guess that whatever her daughter did, it obviously involved markers. Still, the brunette played along.

“What did you make him, my butterfly?”

Victoria replied. Savvy’s blue eyes widened and she bounced with excitement.

“I maked daddy a present for Father’s Day. I think he’s really gonna love it.”

She replied proudly. She didn’t say

what

it was she made for David because she wanted it to be a surprise.

Victoria already knew what the gift was. Dora already explained to her that she was missing two mugs for the cafe, but Savanna didn’t know that. She still didn't know she had done anything wrong. Her mother didn’t seem angry or disappointed. Victoria encouraged her children to be creative just like Dora did for her and her siblings when they were younger. Mugs could be replaced but Savanna’s perfectly imperfect six year old doodles could not be.

“Guess what else I did.” The little girl said. She didn’t wait for Vic to reply before she opened the closet by the front door and pulled out two small boxes. The wrapping paper was a combination of Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. There was tape everywhere. Savanna clearly wrapped the gifts herself. Each one topped with a shiny red bow and the recipient's name written in marker. “I maked one for DC, too.” She set both gifts on the coffee table. She couldn’t wait for her dad and Declan to open them. David would get his early since he would be back in California on Sunday. He was still trying to convince Victoria to let Timmy and Savanna go with him. He tried to guilt trip her by saying it would be nice to spend Father’s Day with his kids. He didn’t think it was fair that Victoria got them full time and he wanted them to spend the majority of their summer break with him.

“Mommy…” The little one looked up at Victoria. Her eyes seemed to change color with her emotion. “I know me an’ Timmy are goin’ ta dinner with daddy t’nite cause he won’t be here for Father’s Day...” She paused briefly. David and Victoria weren’t on the best terms at the moment, so Vic opted out of dinner this time. Savanna was a little sad about it. Timmy was even more upset. He still hoped his parents would mend their relationship and that they could all live under the same roof one day. He wasn't ready to give up hope just yet. “...But do ya think we can we make DC a special Father’s Day dinner on Sunday? I know he’s not my daddy, but he is Rannie and Polka Dot’s daddy… We should make him his favorite dinner.” Savvy wasn’t exactly sure what Declan’s favorite was, but she figured her mother probably did. She knew Declan better than anyone else… Probably even better than he knew himself. “We can make him dinner an’ then I can give him his present.” Savanna smiled. She was definitely stubborn when she wanted to be, but she had a heart of gold and in her eyes, Declan was family. Even if they weren’t related by blood.

—————

“Are they ready?” David asked as he fiddled with his keys. He couldn’t even look Victoria in the eye… Not after their last conversation. Deep down David knew Victoria still loved him, but she was no longer in love with him. She never meant to hurt him, but she couldn’t dull her true feelings towards Declan any longer. He was the one she wanted to be with… She had known that since they were teenagers. Their relationship was far from perfect, but she loved him anyway. She would always love him.

“Just about.” Victoria replied. She held the poorly wrapped gift Savanna made for David until the little girl joined her. “Are ya sure you can’t come too?” Savanna asked her mom one last time. Victoria tucked a strand of her daughter’s hair behind her ear as she bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “Not this time, butterfly... But you guys have fun without me. Okay?” She kissed the little girls forehead before Timmy joined them. Victoria kissed his head too. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” Perhaps she was putting too much trust in David. He had been hinting to her that he wanted to take the kids back to California for weeks now. Who was to stop him from skipping town with them now that she wasn’t there to chaperone?

Thanks to his mother, the idea had crossed David’s mind more then once. It would be so easy for him to blow off dinner entirely to pick up and leave with his children. It’s not like it was really kidnapping. They were his flesh and blood too. There was no custody arrangement in place yet because (until recently) there hadn’t been a need for one. He was merely a father spending time with his offspring. If it wouldn’t put his professional reputation at risk… He probably would have done it, but how would it look if Dr. David Thorne was arrested for the kidnapping of his own children?

A tiny voice from the back seat pulled David out of his daydream. It was Savanna. She had to call him a few times before he responded. “What, Princess?” His skin would have crawled if he knew that was the same nickname Declan had given Victoria. “Me an’ Timmy wanna pay for dinner t’nite. We been savin’ up all our allowance money. We didn’t even buy ice cream!” Realistically, they probably didn’t have enough to cover the bill and the tip, but David would sneak in the difference. The gesture was nice and he was proud of his kids. They worked hard for their allowance and understood the value of a dollar. “Are you sure you want to spend all that money on me?” He asked as he looked at their angelic faces through the rear view mirror. Timothy and Savanna nodded in unison. “This is your special day… Even if it’s not really Father’s Day yet.” Savvy replied for the both of them.

—————

A few minutes later they arrived at their destination. A Dave & Busters just outside of Limbo. It wasn’t David’s first choice in terms of dining location, but today wasn’t about the food. It was about spending time with his kids… Even if that meant spending $200 on games and low quality prizes. “You know the rules, right?” David spoke once they were settled at the table. “Dinner first, then games.” Timmy replied. He had always been better about clearing his plate than Savanna, especially recently, so he wasn't worried about it. “The same goes for you.” David told his youngest. Savvy nodded to let him know she understood. “But don’t forget, daddy… We are payin’ for dinner.” She reminded him. “Ya gotta eat all your food too or no present.” She gave him a serious look at first, but broke out in a giggle when he gasped like he was shocked. “Those are the rules.”

—————

“Before we go play…” Savvy put her gift on the table. “Ya got’a open this first.” She swung her legs back and forth as they dangled from her chair. She was tempted to rip the paper off for him to speed up the process, but she let him do it himself. When the paper was removed, David opened the box and pulled out a white ceramic mug colorfully decorated in pictures by Savanna. On one side she wrote I love you daddy. xo, Savvy. On the bottom she put Happy Father’s Day and the year. “Do ya like it?” She looked up at him with the biggest grin. David pulled her in for a hug and kissed her head. “I love it.” He replied. “I’ll use it every day, Princess.”

Timothy also got David a gift. It was a model car they had been working on for months. He finally finished it on his own and had done a pretty good job. “This is fantastic, buddy. I’m going to put it in my office where everyone can see it.” David told him. While it wasn’t exactly the Father’s Day he envisioned, his day was pretty perfect. Victoria was doing a great job raising their children and (all differences aside) he couldn’t have hand picked a better mother for them even if he was given the option.

----------

A couple hours later, David brought the kids home. Savanna had fallen asleep in the back seat clutching the giant stuffed Husky she won, while Timmy yawned and rubbed his eyes as he yawned into the Pikachu he picked out.

“Dad?” Timmy said once David cut the engine. The front porch lights flicked on. It was late for the kids. Victoria was probably worried sick, especially since they were running so late. David was supposed to have them back an hour ago, but they lost track of time. “What is it, buddy?” David asked as he turned around to face his son. “I had’a lot of fun.” Timothy looked over at his sleeping sister. “I think Savvy did too.” He gave a tired smile. “I had a lot of fun too, pal.” David admitted. The night put a nice dent in his wallet, but he would happily drain his bank account to keep a smile on his children’s faces.

“Sorry we’re late. We were having so much fun, I forgot to check the time.” David apologized. Timmy had already given his father a hug and kiss before heading up the stairs. He was so exhausted, he was likely to pass out the second his head hit the pillow. “Thanks for this… For letting me have them for the night.” He passed a sleeping Savanna over to Victoria. The little girl stirred, but just barely. “Don’t forget this. She worked so hard to win him.” He handed the Husky over too. “A Father’s Day for the books.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and shifted his attention to look at her, finally. “We’ve got some pretty great kids, Vic.” He admitted. David let the comment hang in the air as silence fell between them. "You should probably get her to bed... Sorry again." And with that, David turned to head back to his car. He had a long drive ahead of him and so much to think about.

...To be continued.

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rolypolywl · 5 years

Video

youtube

Welcome to day 14!

So, last time we talked about the importance of motivation. Today we’re going to talk about finding and maintaining your motivation. As SparkPeople explains, this is important because:

“Most diet programs focus only on the "what" of weight loss. Participants have a list of foods they can and cannot eat and losing weight is the only pre-determined outcome. Goals are set based on the answer to one question: "How much weight do you want to lose?" And consequently, your success is measured by the scale, not by how you feel.”

But, that’s not great. They continue, “From a psychological perspective, the "why" behind human behavior is as important, if not more, than the "what." That's because when you target a deeper motivation for why you want to lose weight, you're able to target the behavior (the what) that will help you reach your goals.”

So, as I said last time, there are basically two kinds of “why”s, or motivations, - external or extrinsic and internal or intrinsic. These can be broken down further, but those are the basics.

So let’s start with intrinsic:

Psychology Today gives this advice for finding your motivation. “Start by sitting down with paper and pencil and write down why you want to lose weight or get in shape. Write down every reason that you can think of. After you have gotten all of your thoughts down, go over your responses. What are the reasons? Do they come from outside yourself or from within? If they come from within, how much are they integrated with your sense of self?”

Spark People suggests asking these questions: “If you are struggling to define your "why" one thing to consider is whether or not you have a personal or emotional investment in what you are trying to accomplish. If the answer is "no," then you need to go back to the drawing board and start over. Try asking yourself these three questions: 1. Why is losing weight important to me? 2. Why does that reason matter? 3. Why do I feel strongly about that reason?”

Obviously there will be both extrinsic and intrinsic reasons on this list. There will be short-term and long-term reasons on this list. There might even be “unhealthy” or “unreasonable” reasons.

But, somewhere on this list, you might be able to find that intrinsic, wonderful reason that keeps you going when you’re at risk of failing or stopping.

But, if you don’t see that reason there, Psychology Today offers this advice for finding your “why”.

“Think of a time where you felt you were at your personal best. What were you doing? Who were you with? This event is like a snapshot of you in your finest hour and something that you feel most proud of. It could be a really big action or it could be a small action but it exemplifies you and your character.”

You might need to break down this moment a little, or do a little connecting of dots, but the reason that this “personal best” is helpful is that: “The idea behind this exercise is to understand what naturally interests you in order to draw upon that to create lifestyle changes that you will enjoy.”

This is, as I touched upon last time, great for you to pick “lifestyle changes” instead of “fads”. Like dancing? Then dance for your workouts instead of running. Love drinking juice but hate eating veggies? Then juicing might be a way for you to get more greens. Etc.

This is a good way to find your motivation and help you make changes that are more likely to stick.

Spark People also notes that “Shifting your focus from what you want to lose (i.e., 20 pounds) to what you want to gain—more energy, improved physical and mental health, more quality time with family, etc.—will help you stay on track when you inevitably encounter setbacks.”

Another piece of advice given by Psychology Today is to make it fun!

“When we think of exercise as exercise, we think of it as work, and so with work we operate on extrinsic motivation and need a reward. Since we need a reward, what usually happens is that when choosing what to eat after exercising, we often choose the more indulgent option. This is called the licensing effect in psychology.”

But if you enjoy the exercise activity for its own sake, you don’t need a food reward afterwards, and are more likely to eat better. This was actually proven in a study by Cornell University.

This actually can let you harness extrinsic and intrinsic motivations.

And, as we learned, intrinsic motivations are better in the long term, to get you to actually maintain the change. But, extrinsic motivations can be great to get you started, or to get you through a motivation slump.

SparkPeople notes, “It's important to set realistic goals, that you can achieve easily in the first few weeks so you have success—even if it's small—which can help motivate you to keep moving forward,” Start small and achievable, and that will help you make it towards your long term, “why” goals!

So that said, let’s look at some extrinsic motivators!

VeryWellFit offers these five motivators:

They also suggest using an accountability buddy to help you.

In addition to finding your “why”, Healthline offers these suggestions:

My Body Tutor also suggests reasonable goals. As they explain, if you set an unreasonable goal, “When you hold yourself to this standard but don’t measure up – you are absolutely destroying your motivation.”

If you’ve yo-yo’d in the past, or tried a bunch of things, that can actually make this try harder, as My Body Tutor notes. “what happens when you start and fail over and over again is you lose confidence in yourself. What you need are wins. Boost your weight loss motivation with repeated success. When each success, you’re putting a “W” in the Win column. And with enough wins you build lasting confidence.”

Shape suggests many of the above, but also gives some more ideas:

“Treat your goal as a business objective; If you were trying to accomplish something for a client, you probably wouldn't start out without a strategy. Losing weight is a three-part process: Exercising and cutting calories are vital, but your mental outlook can mean the difference between success and failure.”

This also comes up in an article from Medium:

“Treat your workouts like business meetings or appointments. Schedule them in your calendar as recurring events every week. You’d never miss a meeting with your boss or a date night with your partner. Treat your workouts with the same level of urgency and respect.”

Shape also advises to “practice integrity in other areas of your life [...] Clean out your closet (hi, Marie Kondo!), pay off your debts, make good on your promises to friends, family, or co-workers. Practice sticking with promises or commitments you've made in other areas of your life in order to strengthen your own subconscious belief that you are able to uphold the promise to lose weight that you've made to yourself.”

And they suggest a little friendly competition, which is something I will touch on soon.

And Medium suggests mixing things up. “Change your workout. You should change it every 6–8 weeks anyway. Mix it up if you get bored. Swap exercises, switch between free weights and barbells, machines and body weight exercises, etc.”

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to stop doing the thing you found that you love, but find a way to make it fresh and new every so often!

Shape goes even further with this idea, suggesting a unique motivation-plateau-buster: “If you notice that your weight-loss motivation is waning, give yourself a break from your diet or exercise plan for one to three days, Klapow says. "The more people try to ‘catch' it, the more elusive it becomes; by allowing it to run its natural course and at the same time having a set of habit-changing skills (such as a meal plan for the week), you'll stay on track and your motivation levels will run their natural course."”

Klapow, who is a clinical psychologist, explains that motivation will naturally go up and down, and basically advises to go with it instead of fighting it.

Finally, Psychology Today offers this pep talk.

So basically, set reasonable goals, don’t be too hard on yourself, prepare in advance for possible roadblocks, and figure out your “why”.

Take the time before you get too far to make these plans and figure out these “why”s and potential roadblocks, and make your small goals and plan your small celebrations and rewards. It might seem like a lot of “thinky” prep-work, but it can be super important and helpful in both the short and long run.

So, that is it for today.

This has been Roly Poly Weight loss. As always, I am your host, Roly Poly. Please share your motivations, and your roadblock plans, with the hashtag, #Motivation. And join my social group for support and maybe a little friendly competition by @-ing me!

And please join me next time!

#RolyPoly #WeightLoss #weight loss #losing weight #Exercise #expectations #Fitness #health & fitness #Health #Healthy #Motivation #Inspiration #Inspo #Fitspo

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