#trying out the whole tumblr thing again lol

[winterstellars]

sins of the son | aemond targaryen

15,179w | aemond x fem!reader (can also be read as nameless oc) | 12.7.22 | part 2 here

Aemond does not know how long she has been in King’s Landing. She could have been living in the capitol for years without him knowing. One day she practically does not exist, and the next, she does. Almost as if she has materialized out of nothingness.

He notices her at prayers first. She sits next to one of his mother’s ladies-in-waiting. While the other girl sits with closed eyes and a bowed head, her eyes are wide open. She stares at the candles that surround the altar, so still that he swears she could be made of marble until her eyelids waver just slightly. He has not prayed since the Gods rejected his pleas for them to restore his eye, so he watches her. Out of boredom. Out of intrigue. They seem to be the only ones present in the sept; everyone else is wrapped up in the Gods. When she catches him staring, she stares right back.

Aegon knows nothing about her—his attentions lie elsewhere, they have never taken an interest in the same woman—but Helaena does.

“Her family sent her here to be legitimized,” she tells him. “She helps me with the babies. Jaehaera loves her.”

He fills in the pieces that his sister is too sweet to say: that a highborn parent with a guilty conscience likely sent her to the capitol to be kept out of sight. It would explain her lack of standing, her relegation to the ends of lines and edges of gatherings. Common, but not really. Noble, but not quite.

When the ladies of the court convene in the gardens for an embroidery session, he catches a glimpse of her. He does not mean to linger, having intended to go down to the rocky shore at the foot of the Red Keep where Vhagar often rests, but he studies her from a distance. The flowers and greenery bob in the wind, obscuring her profile. He can just make out a fern taking shape on her fabric.

Her hand jolts and his heart squeezes in his chest. It feels as though his spying is the cause, even if it is only a needle prick. She brings her finger to her mouth and sucks the blood away. He has to force himself to continue walking.

Flying tends to clear his head. Today is an exception. As Vhagar swoops above King’s Landing, he finds himself thinking about his blood. He has tasted it many times during sparring accidents. He remembers the warmth of it when his nephew slashed his eye out. There was so much of it that it ran down his face and gathered on his lips. He wonders what her blood would taste like. If it would be different from his.

It is evening, weeks later, when they cross paths in one of the lower corridors in the Red Keep. She stands aside for him but does not hide her face as others do. He knows he ought to keep walking. This. . . curiosity is not wise. He stops anyway. One conversation will not harm him.

“My lady.”

“Prince Aemond.” She holds a small bunch of flowers, little pink blooms with petals that seem to open in perfect geometric patterns.

“A gift from a suitor?” He gestures to the little bouquet.

“Oh, yes. I’m positively besieged by them.”

A grin plays at the corners of her mouth. People do not speak to him this way. Servants try to address him in as few words as possible and his family has their set habits: his mother’s clipped sentences that seem to end just short of what she wants to say, Helaena and her little riddles, his grandfather and his careful candor. Wry humor is not their way, and he can remember all too well the years when he functioned as the target of his brother’s and nephews’ jokes. Criston Cole may be a decent sparring partner in the training yard, but he is not much for sparring with words.

“What is it that the Gods advise?” He may not be as religious as his mother, but he has always had a gift for memorizing bits of text. “Let no maiden be tempted by wanton attentions, lest her thoughts become sinful and her flesh tainted.”

“Well, who am I to argue with the Gods? Consider me warned.” She offers a brief, practiced curtsy. “Good evening to you, my prince.”

She has not taken two steps when he calls after her. “I will escort you.”

“That is kind of you, but there is no need.” She points to a door at the end of the hallway, presumably her chambers. “Though I hear the city is lawless, I truly doubt I will be attacked between here and there.”

“As you wish.” He turns as she does, though he pauses and looks over his shoulder until she reaches her destination.

Disappointment settles in his stomach, which he immediately reprimands himself for. At most, he could have insisted on accompanying her and bought himself a few extra moments in her presence. Enough to ask about the flowers or her embroidery. It is trivial, he tells himself. Naturalized though she may be, she is a bastard girl and he is a prince and a dragonrider. The more she sees of him, the sooner he will frighten her away.

When he is trying to fall asleep, he sees her eyes piercing into him from across the sept. His entire body crawls at the sensation of it. She is undoing him, opening him, turning him inside out. He sleeps without dreams and wakes up wanting more.

read the rest on AO3

[pines4thetwin]

As promised, here's that fusion post for the three people that asked for it (drops it and runs).

Ford thinks of himself and Stan as one, an extension of each other, and lowkey hates that its not true nor possible.

And Mabel really shouldn't have shown him Steven Universe because now he's obsessing over the concept of fusions and his desire to be one with stan.

Now lets say this is Pre-Weird and everything is still tense between them and they aren't exactly talking but despite that ford still wants to be close and he knows stan does too.

He can see it in the broken resigned looks Stan keeps throwing his way. And listen, Ford isn't the best at communication but he can fix this. He may still be angry and self righteous and an asshole but he can fix them.

So now he spends an even more absurd amount of time in the lab trying to making it his reality and entirely disregards his base needs to the point even dipper is concerned.

He has a journal dedicated to this idea where he keeps all his notes and theories on how to make it possible. Would he have to alter their DNA for it to work or could it be possible for them as they are?

While doing the tests and research for his fixation he remembers a dimension he briefly travelled to back when he was younger and fresh through the portal. One where this concept, his desire, his fantasy, his wish was real. A dimension where it was was their culture, their way of life. And while he did think it was interesting then, he was young and angry and raw with unrestrained hurt. Too emotional to stop and study the practice the way he should have.

He beats himself up over it now. If only he had been thinking more logically him and stan could be one already. They wouldn't have to be so... apart.

He doesn't have time to dwell on his shortcomings though. He has to figure this out. He doesn't know exactly why but he feels like he's running out of time. Like he has to do this now or he'll never have the chance again.

Eventually he has his prototype and it functions well... enough. He just has one more trial to run. Except Stan comes down to check on him. 'Worried ford isn't taking care of himself properly.' or something like that.

And honestly, Stan in his space is the last thing he expects because they have an unspoken agreement. Stan roams above and Ford stays down here. And when they cross paths they both look the other way.

But stan is here and yes Ford is annoyed at first but this also means he doesn't have to go seek stan out.

"I told you to stay- wait actually this is perfect. We'll do it now," Ford fiddles with his device, turning it on and he really isn't thinking right anymore. He know the device works and that's all that matters.

"Do what now? Stanford, what is that," And Stan is kinda terrified because Ford looks... well he looks kinda like how he did decades ago when he had sent that postcard and Stan had come running because well, its Ford.

Ford looks insane, primal and unhinged, like he hasn't seen the light of day in weeks. And Dipper had told Stan, had been worried but Stan brushed it off because Ford locking himself in the lab and avoiding everybody, avoiding him wasn't a new development.

But now Stan’s worried because that wild-eyed look is directed at him again and the cowardly little animal in him is screaming at him to run.

It’s like Ford knows what he's thinking because before Stan has a chance to decide if he's going to shut down or entertain that scared little animal, Ford is grasping at him and pulling him deeper into the dingy little basement.

Stan trips and he fully expects his back to hit the floor but fords got and arm wrapped low on his back that keeps him from falling fully. And stan's hand is also tangled in fords sweater so even if Ford had let him fall, well they would have gone down together.

But then he catches sight of that thing again and it looks vaguely like a gun and why did he have to get saddled with the insane twin? He doesn't even have time to flinch because a bright light floods his vision and he blanks.

For a second, Stan's mind goes black and there's a strange humming in his ears. But then he hears a laugh he hasn't heard in forever. Soft and joyous and for a moment stan smiles. It's Ford's laugh.

Because he and Stan become one. And everything is warm and bright and as it should be. For a moment everything is right. It feels like coming home.

His-Their eyes open and Ford's confused? No, Stans confused.

"Sixer? Lee?" Their voice says, soft and bewildered. They look around, searching for each other. Stan? Ford? Where did they go? They look down and their vision swims. Four hands, five fingers? Six? It all blurs together.

Is this me, they think as one. Finally as one. Four hands run up the sides of their one body then stretch out for their wide eyes to view. Ford can feel his giddiness rising unbidden. And a whisper from Stan, rising to meet Ford. Uncertain but matching nonetheless.

Finally

Finally together... Finally fixed... Finally right.

They spin slowly, as if that will give them a better view of what they are now, and they catch their reflection in some dim glass. Ford wants to smile but their face drops, eyes horrified.

"What did you do," Stan says, voice a cutting accusation. Nausea erupts in their stomach. And that isn't right. Why isn't it right?

Something is wrong. Everything is so very wrong. Ford's head hurts. Or is it Stans. He doesn't know. They can't tell.

"I fixed it. I fixed us," Ford says and it isn't right either. Why is it still so wrong? Stan is angry. But why is he angry? Why aren't they happy? They're together. After all this time they're finally together again.

Ford can feel Stan pulling away. It's like their mind is splitting in two. Hot searing pain shoots through their head, four eyes closing when the world starts to spin.

Ford grasps ahold of stan and refuses to let go. He can't let Stan ruin this, ruin them. He will not let Stan destroy everything he's worked towards again. They've been apart for so long- too long but not anymore. Besides, this is for them. Stan will just have to understand. They are one now. Broken and wrong but one nonetheless.

"Let me go," They yell, tugging apart furiously. Their shape shifts and distorts but doesn't split. Ford won't let them. They snap back together painfully, stumbling on two bulky legs, one that branches into two feet. Wrong.

"No! This is what we wanted right," their voice bellows, loud and angry and wrong. So very wrong. "For us to be together. Always together."

They grip at their hair as if trying to pull themselves back apart. Stan.

"Not like this. I never asked for this." they shout back, voice sharp and hurt and why aren't they happy now. They should be happy. This is right. This is how they are meant to be.

Even as the anger and hurt courses through their entire being, Ford knows he wouldn't want to be any other way. Stan's angry and scared but at least they're one. They're shattered and hurting but even then some small part burns in them, it's a tiny little ember but it's both of them and it says yes.

Another set of hands reach for the ones in their hair, pulling them out and restraining them. Betrayal spikes, scorching and increasing rapidly even after years of dormancy. Ford.

"Stop being so ungrateful! You're always so-." angry tears spill from their eyes. Decades of hurt and anger and resentment spill forth to mix into a sense numbing cocktail but most of all they feel alone. So very alone. Them.

They grapple and struggle and Ford's device glints from the corner of their eyes. Ford can feel Stan's intent before their body even moves. Being one now, it's like their minds have melded which means Stan knows the device's purpose. And he intends to separate them.

"NO!" Ford bellows, voice priggish and angry, hurt tinting the singular word so strongly that their body stalls. Why would stan- Why doesn't he want them to be together?

"Grunkle Stan?" Their head whips to the left, eyes locking with a confused and tired Mabel’s. Their focus splits, body jerking in an awkward aborted movement as Stan tries to move forward and Ford holds him back.

“Pumpkin grab that- Mabel don't-” And why can they never agree on anything. When did everything go so wrong? 

Flashes of being in this very lab, so long ago- but no, it was before that even.

Mabel stares at them, scared and confused and stan has never wanted her to look at him like that ever. But Ford doesn't register it because for a moment, one split second, Stan stops fighting him. 

They don't hesitate to rush forward, very much intent on destroying their creation before it has a chance to be used against them. To hurt them.

Two small hands wrap around it before they can get ahold of it. Mabel clutches it to her chest, watching them with something too close to fear. They freeze in place, hands raising in surrender.

"Sweetie," Falls from their lips, pleading. For what though, they aren't quite sure. Because their mind, it should be one yet it isn't. It's at odds, fragmented by a fear and necessity that clash so strongly it could tear universes apart.

“Press the green- Don't you dare-” They speak at once, words and thoughts overlapping. Large hands cover their mouth, two others gripping uselessly at wrist that refuse to budge, because regardless of whatever insanity that has plagued Fords mind to make them act this way, Stan will not let their voice- their words even hint at a threat towards Mabel.

Mabel's head bobs, looking from them down to the thing in her hands, unsure of what to do. Stan nods, eyes pleading.

Ford lashes out, angry and hurt and thrashing like a wild dog. 'Stanley please no. Why don't you want us to be-' Stan is retreating, silent and distant. 'Lee. LEE!'

Everything goes dark.

Ford rises slowly, head spinning and ears ringing. He has the worst headache he has ever experienced. He stares at his hands, splayed on the floor. Two hands, six fingers. Wrong.

His head whips up and his gaze finds Stan's crumpled form across from him on the floor. Stan's glaring at him, thick angry tears spilling down red cheeks.

No. No!

His head turns slowly and his eyes fall on Mabel. Mabel who is standing with his prototype in shaky hands looking between a separated Ford and Stan. He... failed. And now they're...

Apart.

Broken.

Wrong.

[seraphic-sibyl]

I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been

[himbeaux-on-ice]

country roads, take me home... to the place, where i belong...

[storytellering]

hey man love ur stuff. i was wondering if youd considered posting some of ur art on ao3? ive seen more ppl doing that lately, since ao3 isnt gonna ban "adult content." id love to follow u on twitter but i had to quit using that god forsaken app awhile ago lmao

Hey!

I honestly don’t plan to do that, truth be told I was initially very hesitant to publicly link my ao3 to my art account at all tjfk writing is a skill I’ve only just started brushing up on (I’ve always done it, but never seriously and not with the intent of making stuff that was to be seen by the public, and definitely haven’t studied it the way I have art) and it’s taking me a bit, still, to not feel embarrassed enough by everything I put out to not even want my name on it. I’d rather keep my art and my writing separate! If I were to I would have to make an account specifically for that, but honestly, that would only come if I felt the need to archive my stuff and not actively partecipate in the community anymore? I don’t know how to explain it. Obviously I’m still gonna keep posting my stuff even if Twitter crumbles, I’m trying to find an equivalent alternative still, and I don’t blame anyone for wanting to leave that dumpster fire, I’m just the kind of person who’s very hesitant to leave a place once I’ve figured out how it works - I honestly don’t know where else to put my nsfw if it does crumble into dust, tho. I might start posting previews on Tumblr with links to privatter in that case (they say they don’t allow nsfw but until they actively come down and delete my posts themselves, honestly, I’m gonna treat it like it is ok. After all all my posts there come with a disclaimer warning about 18+ themes and every potential CW present in the image so, I don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with that.)? I think I’ll see about that once it really comes to it. Terribly sorry if that locks anyone out! For what it’s worth, the full pieces of my nsfw are still on privatter so if you can access them there they’re still gonna be available, and for regular art I have here, bluesky, and misskey. (And Instagram, though I try to be as non-controversial there as possible because I’m honestly kinda terrified of the large anti presence there hfjfkf, so I don’t post most of my ship art there.)

[johndonneswife]

Ms. Venus pleasssse share your impeccable taste in the form of pinterest boards with the class, thank you. Also I miss your presence on Tumblr and I selfishly wish you had plans to come back to the fandom side of things but I’m wishing you the best from afar!!

i would totally share my beautiful boards with u if not for the fact that i had a full blown meltdown on pinterest abt yuri on ice and i have soooo many freaking yoi pins lmao and iiiit’s a lil mortifying actually. but i promise my wedding & fashion moodboards are 🤌🏻

[keeps-ache]

sigh. alright

[icewindandboringhorror]

Well! I started remodeling the house sooo long ago (original post of it back in 2018), then got distracted and forgot it in the closet for a long time, ignored it on and off, etc... Then, finally finished the house in 2022. THEN, I forgot about the pictures I took of it in 2022, and am now posting them in 2024.. A good example of how the timeline of my side craft projects usually go lol

But, at least I do have the photos now, so... finally sharing them ! 

I just used a blue sheet as a 'sky' and a green sweater with some fake flowers on it to try to look like it was on grass lol...

(more images under the readmore)

The bedroom-

The library/potion room -

The living room area-

Then the little kitchen

The pictures are not very good, but these are the best I could find? I filmed a video of me working on the whole thing (who knows when that will be out..if it took me TWO years just to post the photos lol), so I think while I was taking the pictures, I was thinking “eh, they don’t have to be great, since I’ll show it in more detail in the video :3″, but now I kind of regret not having more actual detail shots or anything.

(sidenote: I'm pretty sure I've posted better pictures of some of the individual rooms before though too? sometime before I had added the finishing touches but when they were basically done and looked almost the same as these. so maybe it's okay that these are kind of bad lol)

I think progress on it also stalled a bit due to the pandemic starting, since like 90% of the stuff in here is random things I found at the bins (giant goodwill donation center where you dig through tubs of various items all thrown together), so once I couldn’t go out to the bins anymore, I lost my method of hunting for new items, and just had to work with whatever scraps I already had or could make myself with very few materials/tools.  The bins is a really large and always crowded place, so it's still not safe for me to go with current community transmission levels lol... who knows when I shall be able to use it to get dirt cheap crafting supplies ever again.. T o T

ANYWAY! It was a fun little project, even though of course it's a little rough around the edges and not exactly as I'd envisioned lol. As usual, I always enjoy the MAKING of things the most, yet then have no idea what to do with the finished project, since the process is what's enjoyable to me.

I think I'm going to take all the glued down furniture out of it and then repaint it, then maybe donate the base house back to the same thrift store I found it at. Like completing some sort of crafting circle of life or something lol

slowly making some progress on the doll house I’m trying to remodel! 

[ooffmlsorry]

OP Men Dating a "Girly Girl"

A/N: sorry this took so long and I haven't posted anything original in a minute my life is mess and I'm so very tired jfc...I know this isn't more than my usual group but I was just gonna stop at Luffy and then decided to add Ace and Sabo as a thank you because writing these and putting them on Tumblr has been really good for me, so thank you for always being here to indulge me 🥲 ❤️

Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo

Sanji

Let's be honest, girly-girls drive Sanji craaaazzzzyy (not that all women don't, but he's definitely more partial to the feminine ones) Your make-up, pretty skirts and dresses, jewelry, and manicure, he can't help fawn over you constantly 😍Although you do it because you enjoy it, it's nice that your efforts are so appreciated!!

He spoils you soooo baaaddd!! He literally can't help himself when he sees something pretty or cute that reminds him of you, he has to get it for you. You're drowning in squishmallows at this point.

A river of blood shoots from him every time you show off a new outfit. You're going to kill him and he'll thank you for it.

Dressing up in nice outfits together, especially on date night, is a shared activity that you love to do together. Y'all are living your best happily ever after lives.

Ya'll definitely have scheduled self-care nights. You put on some slow music, open a bottle of wine, draw a bubble bath, all that.

He's utterly useless when it comes to helping you pick your outfits or makeup if you're stuck because he loves you in everything, it's too hard for him to pick. You're his perfect, beautiful Y/N-swaaaaan 😍💖💖✨

He does love to see you in pink or red though so he might default to those colors

Don't try to test your makeup on him lol, you're going to re-awaken the gender identity crisis...I mean Kamabakka trauma

Listen...I'm not saying Sanji has a mommy kink...I'm not even at Whole Cake Island so idk wtf is going on there. All I'm saying is if you give this man a bath, wrap him in a towel to dry him off, and rub him down with luxurious lotions and oils, you might awaken something...that's all...👀

ZORO

He has no clue wtf you're doing. If it weren't for the fact that there's no proof that witches exist in this world, he'd think you are one

He looks at your vanity full of serums, creams, scrubs, lotions, etc, not to mention the makeup and he's like "??????" Just completely baffled

But what do you expect? This man would use that five-in-one Irish Spring soap if he could.

Just because he doesn't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and admire the fact that you have extensive knowledge in something he can't even comprehend

He knows you like nice shiny things, and again, while he doesn't get it, he does think it's really, really cute when you go starry-eyed over a necklace or an outfit in a store.

In the same vein, he knows how much you love cute things and animals. He has absolutely found a cute animal in the jungle, picked it up, and brought it to you just to show you because he knew you'd love it.

Sometimes in his own gruff way he'll agree with you that it's pretty cute. Thank you for helping this manly man admit things are cute and that's okay.

Other times, he's the one making sure you don't get distracted because it's so cute

Unfortunately and fortunately, you're pretty to him no matter what you do to yourself so it's all kind of a moot point to him.

You can try to ask him about which 'x' to wear, sometimes it's helpful because he'll throw out a really practical answer and then other times he's like "How 'bout you just go naked" 😏.

He'll wear a face mask with you like...twice a year. And he's going to bitch and moan about it but he does it because he loves you. The entire process is like trying to give a cat a bath "WHY IS IT SO COLD? THIS STAYS ON MY FACE FOR HOW LONG???"

Exfoliate this man at your own risk...I'm dead serious that water is going to be brown

LAW

I need you to know right now this man will let you paint his nails!!! I mean, not like gel or acrylics or anything, but he'll let you paint them any color as long as it's a dark shade of that color. You once designed Bepo on his middle fingers. He did in fact flip people off a lot more often when he had them.

Let's you wear a pastel boiler suit because you he loves you and wants to see you happy

Much like Zoro, he's got no clue what you're doing. He'll stand back and watch you while making the exact same face as the gif above.

He thinks he's being stealthy peaking around a corner to watch your morning or night routine, but you quickly catch on. Please please pleeaaassee ask him if he has any questions because he does. He's just really curious why you're doing what you're doing and what it does. It's basically skin medicine and he's really fascinated.

Knowing that you like shiny things makes his life admittedly a little easier, it's not that he doesn't think of what to gift you, he puts A LOT of thought into what he gives you, but knowing that earrings, necklaces, and bracelets always make you happy is great just in case of analysis paralysis or he forgets. Sorry.

Also you wearing the jewelry he gets you does something to him, especially a necklace he can pull on a little, mmhhm you're making this man struggle with impure thoughts.

You both love cute things, it's something y'all connect on. It's really good that you help him access that very neglected inner child of his and encourage him to coo and fawn over adorable animals with zero reservation.

He'll do skincare with you too when he's not super busy. He can admit it's kind of nice to sit in bed with a book, glass of wine, and a face mask and just bask for a minute

He acts like he hates when you rub serums across his face and use a derma roller on him but he loves it

Law doesn't really pay attention to your clothes, but when you really go all out he breaks out in a sweat and he can't keep his eyes off you.

LUFFY

I'm not saying he thinks it's stupid, it just...why have an hours long care routine when you could be going on adventure with him??? 😭😭😭

He will help you pick out your makeup but don't expect it to look good. You're gonna end up with neon orange eyeshadow and green lipstick. Like literally every "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup" youtube video.

Plays around with your stuff but that's because he has no idea what all these strange contraptions are. The moment you try to explain his eyes glaze over and next thing you know he's whisking you away to go do something more fun.

He likes the shiny bright stuff (highlighter), makeup probably is the only part he even remotely engages in because it's

Explain how contour works to this man and watch him lose his fucking mind, he thinks you're a shape shifter now (honestly this applies to all of them except Law and maybe Sanji)

He never notices what you wear, Nami is gonna have smack him on the back of the head to get him to realize you put on something fancy

Luffy points out everything, it just so happens that things he points out sometime happen to be cute animals

Hides in all the stuffed animals and squishmallows in your room to surprise attack hug you

*throws mud at you* "Is this the kind of mud you like, Y/N??" He really means well though.

You know those hair masks with all natural ingredients like honey and banana? Yeah, he's gonna start sucking on your hair like spaghetti...I'm so sorry.

He'll bathe with you but that's because he wants to be close to you, it's definitely not about being pampered or relaxing.

Try to put a face mask on him or something else and it'll just become a game of tag around the Sunny. You can't catch him and he's having a great time outrunning and outwitting you.

He knows this is all important to you so even though he doesn't get it he'd never make fun of you for it and the moment someone calls you "extra," he's kicking their ass.

ACE

Maybe all the glam is a little silly to him but that just makes you extra cute!

He will also absolutely let you paint his nails. Hell, he'll let you do a full beat on him just for fun and he'll wear it for the whole day because he's so unserious lol

...As long as he gets to do your makeup after...Much like Luffy you're gonna be covered in neon colors that don't even remotely match, but you guys have a great time lol

Admittedly likes to be pampered by you when he gets back from a long mission.

Please take a bubble bath with this man, it's not like the water is ever going to get cold!

I'm pretty sure you'd legitimately lead to Ace taking better care of himself. Got this man out here talking about his cuticles and shit lol

Honestly, it's really good for him because self care leads to self love and Ace needs a lot of help with that.

He tells Pops about all the stuff you do 1.) because he loves you and 2.) he hopes some of it will help Whitebeard heal a little, god bless him 😢

All of your hardwork doesn't go unnoticed, he legitimately gets kind of misty eyed when you really dress up because he's so so so lucky. He swears he doesn't deserve you.

He always brings back some kind of gift even whether it's a cute plushie or something exotic to wear from all of his long travels

I need to stress how much this means to him, everyone of these things is like a little proposal because he already knows you're it. Every little gift is leading up to a ring from this man.

He's also just genuinely impressed by the skill it takes to do your makeup so well, especially after he tries doing it on you

Much like his little brother unfortunately, he does play with all the little contraptions in your vanity, especially in the beginning because have you seen an eyelash curler? He's so confused lol

SABO

Sabo and Ace truly are his brothers because he really don't get all the effort lol

Admittedly, a lot of that is because he thinks you're so hot already what's the point???

Once he gets this is just how you are he's less confused, he's probably the most normal out everyone. He lets you do your thing, although he's really curious how you managed to always look amazing while being in the fucking revolutionary army!!?? Where are you getting the time???

If someone were to intrude on y'all on a free afternoon you're both in fluffy robes with face masks on and Sabo loves to pretend to act like a bitch when he's in selfcare mode with you lol

"Are you seriously bothering us right now, ugh! I can't even right now!!" And then you both break out in laughter

He really thinks you should teach others how to contour and do makeup because it has great applications for disguises and infiltration.

And brags about your skills to everyone

Wonders how many of your makeup supplies could actively be used as a weapon *eye roll* jfc Sabo

There's a part of you that secretly worries all your boujieness will remind him of his blood relatives, but he assures you that it doesn't because you have a good heart and he never doubts that

Besides, being a little extra with him helps him associate those things he used to associate with his blood relatives with you instead so it's even better

He spoils you so bad, but with a Sabo-flair, ie. stealing from shitty people and bringing it back to you because you're oh so more deserving of nice things let's be honest

He gets jealous of the cute animals that you squeal over hehehe, please hug him when he starts pouting

He'll always wear a little pink just for you ❤️

[beomiracles]

HI SERENE!! i’ve been reading your works for months now and ive never sent in a request before but im on my period rn and im so so horny 😭 i was just scrolling on tumblr and i had this thought of beomgyu being a panty stealer. like beomgyu being your roommate would steal your underwear and masturbate and cum on then and when you finally piece everything together he fucks your brains out repeatedly all over your guys’ apartment and then would steal your underwear each time adding to his collection. and the thing is he’d probably buy you more just so he could steal them again lol

i can’t wait until next week when this torture ends 😭

⌞ ��𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 ⌝

DREAM RECALL it was no secret that your roommate was behind your panties going missing. You had just never expected to be so turned on by the whole ordeal.

wc -> 2.6k

pairings non-idol!beomgyu x afab!reader warnings big time perv!beomgyu, beomgyu steals readers panties, reader kinda watches him get off for a moment, oral (f. rec), face sitting, cum eating, hm think that's it !

#serene adds ✎... you guys are so freaky...I love it ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞ I live for the perv!beomgyu agenda, and I will die on this hill. Praying your period will go away quickly because that shit sucks </3 this is not proofread I'm super tired heh

You don’t know when it started.. Actually it might have been around a month ago. It was subtle at first, almost unnoticeable, but as time went on you started realizing that your underwear pile would shrink with each wash. In the beginning it was only the simple ones, the ones that didn’t stick out, the ones he thought he could get away with. It was almost endearing, how slick he thought he was being.

But last week is when the theft made your eyebrows raise. Your roommate had snatched your most expensive piece of lingerie, not to mention, your favorite. Honestly you didn’t know if you should consider him brave or stupid, but as you watched him try and act normal with you during dinner, you settled on the latter. 

Perhaps it should’ve creeped you out, your roommate that you’d known for less than six months, stealing your panties doing god knows what with them. But it didn’t. In fact you would be lying if you said that it didn’t turn you on, just a little. And though you had never actually seen or heard him, you could only guess what he used them for. Your mind easily conjured images of him, sprawled on his bed with your used underwear hovering above his face, inhaling your scent as he fucked himself dumb on his hand. 

Choi Beomgyu and you had quickly become good friends after getting an apartment together not far from campus. You often helped one another with your studies and walked to class hand in hand almost every morning. — It was an acquaintance that had sparked out of pure convenience, fortunately blooming into a great friendship, but now it was slowly distorting into something far more intimate as Beomgyu seemed unable to keep his perverted antics at bay. You often went out with friends, leaving him to roam the apartment, which he did, your room seemingly his main target. And this night was no different. 

It’s well past midnight and in your tipsy state, you struggle to jiggle the keys into the lock. Finally stumbling inside the small hallway, you shut the door behind you, albeit somewhat louder than you’d aimed for. You tiptoe through the dark living room, almost hitting your leg on the dresses between the two doors leading to your bedrooms. With a hushed curse you reach for the door handle only to realize that you wouldn’t have to. Because your door was already open. 

That was weird, you always made sure to close it. With the nudge of your foot, it glides further open, revealing your dark and empty room. Thinking no less of the unusual occurrence, you strip yourself off your clothes as you get ready for bed. But then there it is again, another anomaly. — You could have sworn that you made your bed in the morning, yet the sheets were rustled, your pillow moved, almost as if someone had slept in here. And upon touching the flimsy blanket, you find that it’s still warm. 

Odd. Your room smelled an awful lot like Beomgyu. 

⋮

You thought that perhaps he might come clean, confess his perverted behavior or even his underlying feelings. But he never did. Another week passed and by now you were starting to run low on underwear. — You decided that if he wasn’t going to out himself, then you would simply have to catch him in the act. Easy enough, right? 

Your fingers graze across the smooth silk of the many pieces presented before you. Reds, pinks, even some blues, you thought long and hard about what to get; even asking a worker to colormatch you. In the end you decided on a white lace set, it was accompanied by a few pink bows. It was perfect. — You felt pretty in it, very pretty. And as you twirl in front of your mirror, your stomach tingles in anticipation. 

Beomgyu wasn’t very smart, at least not when it came to you. It was easy to trick him into believing that you’d be gone for the evening. What wasn’t so easy was squeezing yourself into the tight space of your closet. Crammed between heaps of clothing and a few boxes you had yet to unpack, it was uncomfortable to say the least. However, the sound of your bedroom door creaking open not even fifteen minutes after you heard the front door shut, made it all worth it. 

He’s quiet, funnily enough, you wondered why, it wasn’t like there was supposed to be anyone home. Yet he silently shuts the door behind him, carefully walking over to your dresser as he slides his fingers across the painted wood. — The small crack the closet allowed made for a narrow view but you could clearly make out the way he rummaged through your top drawer, seemingly familiar with where you kept your panties. “What a freak”, you thought, yet your heartbeat picked up as you watched him find a pair he liked, bringing the fabric to his nose as his eyes fluttered closed. 

You watch as he throws a glance toward your bed, the duvet neatly folded, just like you always left it. Then he makes his way over and your jaw slacks as you realize just what was going on. As if the scent of your panties wasn’t enough, he lets his head fall to the side as he inhales the fragrance of your pillow. Sprawled on top of your mattress, the sheets rustle beneath him as he shifts slightly. 

Your eyes remain glued to his figure, unable to tear them away as his hand slides down his chest, dipping beneath his sweats as he slowly strokes his cock. You knew that your roommate was up to some perverted shit when he thought you didn't know, but actually seeing it happen, and in your room, on your bed, it made everything so very real. — He traps his bottom lip between his teeth, emitting a soft groan as his thigh twitches. His free hand has your panties captured in a tight grip as he keeps them to his nose, inhaling your scent with each breath. 

Too caught up in the way Beomgyu was touching himself before your very eyes, you almost forget that you were supposed to catch him. Blinking, you give yourself a small mental slap for getting so distracted. He was a sick freak, that’s right, and you were about to confront him. With one final deep breath, you push the closet door open. It makes a creaking noise but he doesn’t seem to hear it. Too lost in his own pleasure, his head thrown back as his hand worked up and down his cock. 

“I washed those sheets yesterday.” 

The small comment echoes out through your room like that of a church bell and Beomgyu immediately freezes as his head jerks up. The hand down his pants quickly withdraws as he clumsily tries to hide your panties behind his back, pressing himself against the headboard to get as far away from you as possible. His prominent Adam's apple bobs as he swallows and you find your gaze lingering on the small movement as you bite your lip. 

“I thought you were… you”, he trails off, biting the inside of his cheek as his face flares up in all shades of red, beyond embarrassed over the situation in which you’d caught him in. You shake your head, biting back the grin threatening to spread across your lips. — “I wasn’t, it wasn’t.. I mean I didn’t..” He blabbers, trying to come up with excuses and lies to cover his evident crime. 

“I know you’ve been stealing my panties.” You shrug, feigning indifference as your eyes drop to the hand behind his back. He opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it, “why didn’t you just tell me?” — You swallow, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “I mean, isn’t the real deal better?” 

He frowns, sitting up straighter as he tries clearing his throat. “The real deal..?” He mumbles, though his words soon fall short as his gaze drops to the way you hike your skirt above your stomach, revealing the new lace set you had bought solely for this occasion. — Beomgyu lets out a strangled noise from somewhere in the back of his throat, squirming on the mattress as his eyes glue to the way your panties hug your figure. 

“What the fuck”, is all he says, his sentence coming out as a short breath, his gaze momentarily flitting back up to yours before drifting down again. You quickly realized that your plan didn’t exactly go further than this and that now you had absolutely no clue of what to do. Had it been a bad idea? Should you have just confronted him about it like a normal person? But his next words make all your doubts vanish. 

“Come here”, his voice is hoarse as he beckons you over. Your feet move on their own, and soon you find yourself crawling over the soft mattress in order to reach Beomgyu. You think that he might say something, anything to ease the tension between the two of you. — Instead he presses his lips against yours, albeit hesitantly, but it’s still a kiss, and an urgent one at that. The second he feels you respond against him, he pulls you closer, tongue pushing inside your mouth in a matter of seconds. 

His hands roam your skimpily dressed figure, bunching your skirt up high above your waist as his fingers twiddle the fabric of your lingerie. Resisting the urge to grind yourself onto his thigh, your legs rub together as you try to alleviate the ache building in your core. It was almost as if he could read your mind as he pulled back, his lips trailing along your jaw in a sloppy manner, his hair tickling your face as he went. 

“I want you to sit on my face.” 

You stilled at his blunt request, fingers halting on his shoulders as you swallowed. “S-Sit on your face?” You wondered if perhaps you had misinterpreted his words but Beomgyu quickly nods, pulling back as his tongue darts out to glide across his already glistening lips. “I…o-okay”, you meekly agree. 

That was how you found yourself hovering above him, gripping the headboard tightly as you bit the inside of your cheek. Beomgyu’s hands slid along your thighs, his hungry gaze unwavering as he eyed your drenched cunt, arousal seeping through the far too thin fabric of your new panties. — “Sit down, please”, he whispers, the hands on your thighs tugging you toward his face and you slowly comply. 

His mouth is warm against your clothed core as he practically kisses it. Teeth grazing across the wet material before he pulls it into his mouth. You hear him groan and for a moment you think you might be too heavy but he only urges you closer, his sharp nose prodding against your covered clit and you whine as your fingers on the headboard turn white. 

“You smell so good”, he grunts as he pushes your lingerie to the side, inhaling your now very prominent scent once more. His comment should not have made you throb the way you did, and you let out a small noise of surprise as his tongue drags across your folds, pushing between them to prod at your clenching hole. — It wasn’t like you hadn’t been eaten out before, but the way Beomgyu sighs against your cunt as he savors each droplet of your wetness feels new and foreign. 

His fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs with so much force that it might’ve hurt had it not been for his eager mouth that latched on to your clit. The squelching sound of him pushing his tongue as far inside of you as he possibly could fills your ears, it feels dirty, but at the same time you never think you’d felt more empowered. You glance down to where his face lay buried between your legs, his brows knitting together as he focuses completely on making you feel good, a sheen layer of sweat forming on his forehead. 

One of your trembling hands leaves the headboard as you reach down to gently brush a strand of hair from his eyes. The very same eyes that flicker up to meet your own as you do. Your mouth falls open at the recognition in his gaze and you feel yourself throb around his tongue as you fight to stay composed. — “You’re so pretty”, his words are muffled against your cunt, the movement of his lips making you squirm on top of him. 

His hands move from your thighs to rest on the curve of your ass, rubbing the flesh there before squeezing it softly as he tugs you closer. “Beomgyu I-I’m” your sentences come out jagged and interrupted by the breathless moans being pulled from your throat but Beomgyu seems to catch on, his tongue shifting to flick at your throbbing clit. — “Need to taste you”, he groans, his lips against yours moving with far more urgency than just seconds prior. 

When your orgasm hit it felt as if you were floating, your body weighed nothing but the world was also on your shoulders all at once. Beomgyu’s face almost became one with your cunt as he lapped up every single droplet of your high, letting you coat both his nose and chin in slick as he moaned against your core. 

Once your thighs finally stopped trembling did you try and move off of him, only to be stopped by his hands still firmly gripping your ass. “Wait”, he breathes, leaning to press a few feathery kisses to your inner thighs as his fingers hooked around the lining of your panties, slowly tugging them down. — He helps you strip out of the flimsy garment as he lays you down flat on your back. 

The white lace gripped tightly in his fist, he raises it to his nose as he inhales your scent all over again. “Fucking hell”, he mumbles gaze flitting between your used lingerie and your wide eyes as you peer up at him. “Mind if I keep these?” He asks, letting the piece of clothing dangle in front of your face with a small smirk. Quickly nodding, you gasp as you feel the tip of his cock rub against your already sensitive cunt. 

“One more?” He pouts before leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your lips. 

⋮

You lost count of how many times Beomgyu brought you to an orgasm that night, and the night after that, and the one after that. The days almost blended together as you spent the majority of them wrapped in his warm embrace. It didn’t matter where or when, the kitchen, the shower, on the couch, his bed, your bed… And Beomgyu would always make sure to get something out of each occurrence. 

“Open it”, he motions toward the small box currently placed on your lap. Your fingers pull at the small ribbon holding it together before carefully lifting the lid. Unable to hide the small huff of disbelief as your eyes fall on the piece of silk inside. — “Really?” You ask as you bring the dark red panties up. But Beomgyu only smirks as he leans closer, one of his hands sliding along your thigh. 

“Yeah, why not? You’re gonna look so fucking sexy in it.” — You raise a questioning brow as you snatch the lingerie from his reaching hand, “you bought this for yourself, didn’t you?” He only shrugs, a sly smirk tugging on his lips. 

“Can you blame me?”

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[nightcolorz]

I would love to hear your thoughts on autistic Armand, if you haven’t already spoke about this! Imo he’s very autsitic coded, and it’s very precious to me as an autistic iwtv fan :]

OMG!!! RUNS AROUND. Yes lmao I talk about this a lot actually it is one of my favorite Armand things to meta about bcus I’m also autistic and he is my special interest🙏I was trying to find some of the stuff I’ve written about autistic Armand but tumblrs search engine makes it near impossible to find anything so I gave up 😭, but believe me they r out there. Even tho I talk about this a lot I would love love love to talk about it some more for u anon because I can never get enough of armandtism.

I first figured Armand was autistic when I was reading the vampire Lestat because when he is first introduced he is completely non verbal and only communicates through the mind gift. through further explanation it’s very much implied that he does this because he finds putting his thoughts into words hard and he considers just projecting them into peoples brains much easier. Armand speaks out loud for the first time like more than halfway through the book, and lestat is surprised to hear him lol. This is super autistic I feel like that’s obvious 🙏 it’s basically the vampire power equivalent of using a non verbal communication device. Armand having trouble with connecting with people, understanding how to “fit in”, and talking r prevailing parts of his character throughout the whole series (not just tvl) which solidified my headcanon into basically a canon fact in my mind lol.

When Armand is first introduced in iwtv his strangeness is chalked up to his vampirism, but it’s soon revealed throughout tvl and qotd that Armand is considered a strange outcast by other vampires. The things he struggles with r unique to him and r not representative of vampires in general. His otherness/strangeness can also not be chalked up to his trauma or his age turned because Armand was also an outcast as a young child. It’s described in the vampire Armand that Armand was not understood by his parents or his community because he was obsessed with and freakishly good at painting. His community interprets his unusualness as a sign of some divine intervention, the priests believe he is a saint or a prophet sent to earth, even at times saying things implying that he is “not human”. Unusually high quickly developing skill in childhood is an autistic trait, as is hyper fixation on an activity/topic that becomes a core identity factor and prevailing obsession. The affects of Armand’s trauma only worsen the severity of his autistic traits. C-ptsd and autism often overlap and coexist in autistic people who were traumatized in childhood, which seems to be Armand’s case.

in queen of the damned Armand is at his peak autistic lol, I feel like this is when most book readers gain that head canon. The Devils minion chapter revolves around Armand using Daniel as a guide to help him learn how to be “normal” and to blend in to the modern age. Armand can’t seem to figure out how to blend in on his own because he is unable to understand social norms of any time period enough to integrate himself into society. Armand is in love with technology and what most would consider monotonous sensory experiences. He stares at his own reflection for hours, he loves kitchen appliances and watching ingredients whir in blenders, cameras, he watches the same movie over and over again and never gets bored of it. The way Armand fixates on technology really reminds me of how a lot of autistic people played as children. He enjoys repetitive, sensory behaviors over “fun”. For Armand this means watching the same things repeatedly, which is a form of visual stimming. There r moments where Armand is trying to understand his world, but is so blind to what he is trying to understand that he goes about his discoveries wrong. Such as in qotd when he tries to interrogate strangers to gain information on societal norms but he only gets uncomfortable glances. Armand is desperate to understand and to connect but he is consistently inherently alienated, whether it be from humanity or from other vampires or from himself.

Armand also can not process his memories comprehendingly. This is part trauma part autism, but autism is def a factor. Because of his repressed trauma induced memory loss Armand finds it difficult to talk about himself to people. This is worsened by Armand being unable to comprehend the aspects of story telling that he needs to be able to tell people about his life. Armand explains to Daniel that he vividly remembers small details, such as dates and weather, but he could not tell Daniel what “things were like” because he “doesn’t know what that means”. Literal thinking, the inability to grasp vague, fiction based concepts like narratives and metaphor, and strict fixation on minor details like numbers, are all autistic traits!

Armand also struggles heavily with emotional regulation. He is described as often having intense and extreme meltdowns where he cries and screams and breaks things. Armand is easily bothered, in tva he mentions that he covers his ears when he is overwhelmed. The vampire Armand begins actually with Armand becoming overwhelmed in public and trying to escape to an attic so that he can be alone in silence. Armand copes with his intense emotions by putting on a mask of neutrality. He is often described as expressionless and blank, uncanny. But this is a mask, and when Armand can no longer mask and his disguise lapses his facial expressions r described by lestat as being so over the top and emotional that they are disturbing and weird. Over the top unnatural facial expressions as well as blank unreadable ones are both autistic traits. For Armand he is naturally overly emotive to the point of being considered horrifying, and he hides this by taking the opposite extreme. Either way, either expression Armand puts on causes him to be socially outcast.

Armand often describes feeling like there is something wrong with him that causes him to be isolated from others and he’s not sure what it is. In prince lestat he tells Gregory that he doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to have relationships when other vampires are fully capable of doing that. In the vampire Armand he explains to David that he’s crazy because his mind isn’t built right and his senses are tripled so he shouldn’t bother trying to understand him. I rlly relate to this as someone who felt like I was from another dimension as a child bcus i didn’t know the unspoken life rules everyone else did.

Armand is often treated like a child by the other vampires and assumed to be emotionally immature and too fragile and insane to be helpful. Armand says in the vampire Armand that he doesn’t consider himself an adult because he can’t function like one. This could be due to the age he was turned, but it’s shown to us that characters like Benji and even to an extent Claudia r able to self regulate and function appropriately despite being turned even younger then Armand was.

in conclusion, book Armand is an autistic person who was never given proper support or understanding because the environment and the time period he was born in decided to alienate him further rather then work to help him socialize and learn appropriate skills, and because of the necessities he has been deprived of and the horrible trauma he endured Armand is never able to learn to function in the way he was likely capable of. this recessive quality in pair with his autism caused Armand it be unable to cope or self regulate or learn ways to understand himself since he wasn’t given a chance to in his formative years. He’s a great representative of what many autistic people who experienced intense child abuse experience.

Im rlly happy with the shows portrayal with Armand so far partly because he is omg, so autistic. Show Armand shares so many of book Armand’s autistic traits. inability to understand himself or others, fixation on small details but inability to understand the big picture, etc. even his iPad is autistic asf! My ipad is my comfort item that I carry around with me to self sooth, and this is def the vibe Armand’s iPad gives me in the show. Even assads performance is autistic! He is able to play Armand masking and Armand unmasking, the stilted expressions he gives and the blank stares, the uncomprehending earnestness. AGHHHH!! Assad stims with his fingers when Armand is nervous too which is just an amazing touch. I hope the show explores Armand’s autism, because that would literally be a dream come true. Even still, for now I’m satisfied.

thank u so so much anon for the ask this made me so happy 🙏❤️ autistic Armand means so much to me and has gotten me though some tough times. Understanding and analyzing Armand helps me understand myself better and feel more comfortable with how I am. Earlier this year I gave myself a concussion because I was harmfully stimming during a meltdown, and while I was in the emergency room I was holding the vampire Armand and imaging that he would relate to what I was going through. So yeah he is very special to me too! And once again it makes me so so happy that u got me to talk some about it. I hope this was coherent or interesting lol I felt like I was all over the place

[meelkiewee]

🎀My first Laicille fanart I did🎀

👇other doodles inspired by a Winx meme and the movie Red that I love + my Marscylla design while I wait for the animated one!

👇open for my reaction to the succubus as a first time reader (as accurate as possible)

I want to specify that when reading this I still wasn't completely full on their ship, I thought they were cutez together, expecially for the nightmare arc and Marci teaching Laios healing magic, but I was still unsure.

So when these panels come up I just think 'Marci is being nosy as always' and 'he really probably just thought of a monster', which isn't untrue but yk🤷‍♂️

I was totally expecting a 'Laios moment' explanation for the bite lol

Though I also thought it was extra-cute that he let his succubus kiss him on the cheeky like- HOW CUTE IS THAT? AWWW

THEN⁉️

THEN THESE FREAKING PAGES COME UP⁉️‼️

I swear I was reading laying in my bed but I felt the urge to sit up straight and reread like 10 times 'cause I couldn't believe my eyes!

And I was shocked that what I thought was a cute kiss on the cheeck was a freaking lick and a legit bite- There was absolutely ZERO need for it to be on the face at all and yet succubus went for the face bzxjjssj TWICE.

There are so many more reasons why I think this screams undeniably LAICILLE! but there are definitely more accurate analysis on tumblr so I leave the job to those.

I love these pages so much that when I finished the whole manga I printed them and pasted them on my walls.

I love these pages so much that I referenced the lick panel in one of the illustrations I submitted for the Laimar fanthology. (you'll see it when it's time uwu)

After that, I must admit I wasn't concentrated much on the lore with Winged Lion and stuff, so I was just laughing at the funny scenes happening right after:

Laios taking the bite with his face all skrunched up and red from embarrassment and Lion calling him an idiot for that.

He asking for wyvern breakfast even if he han no idea what's going on yet. If it's monster food, you never miss the chance, right?🥴

The freaking 😳 face he does when dream!Marcille greets him good morning. "Oh shit that's my bestie pouting her lips...the bestie that was sexily biting me few moments ago...oh man, oh lord! Act normal! ACT NORMAL!!"

I just find it funny, the image of perfecly logical Laios trying to figure out why the hell his succubus had Marcille's face or even, why not, put aside the whole thing to never be discussed again out of fear of his own blooming feelings or the party's judgement, expecially after what happened with the previous party mage, Asivia.

But fear not, after taking a pause and recollecting myself I continued reading and absorbing the lore like god intended😎👍

In the end, this all scene made me realize that Laios definitely could see her that way and made me start considering the ship more seriously. And since then Marcille also showed up to be warmer to Laios and they often found comfort in each other's help and presence. At that point I myself was fully in love with them<3

Thanks for stopping by and reading my reaction, hopefully you had fun!

[celestie0]

hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

[chilschuck]

omg… thinking abt chil reconnecting w his ex wife and becoming platonic besties. imagine they talk about it finding love again (chil’s ex has a new gf)… chil realises he’s caught feelings for reader… his ex teasing him about it…

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ OMG ANON THIS HAD ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET, WAHHHH. SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!! it’s currently 2 am but i had to get this out for you since you’ve been waiting a while!!! it was so much fun!! <33

— ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

꒰ info: ꒱ chilchuck x gn!reader

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw!! some cussing ofc lol

꒰ wc: ꒱ 586

✦ tumblr deleted this before i could post it twice so let’s pray it posts this time, LOL. short but sweet, i hope you enjoy!!! <333

“So… Who are they?”

That simple question was enough to make him choke on his drink. Was he that easy to read? Catching his breath, the half-foot immediately sputtered.

“What are you talking about?” Yet, the knowing look on her face said it all. Even if they had been separated for this long, she could still figure out just what he was hiding. So much for trying to keep some things personal…

“You have this expression, this content smile I haven’t seen in years, Chilchuck. Someone’s making you happy.” Her tone was not condescending in the slightest, rather content with this new revelation. Her words caused his cheeks to flush, more than the ale in his cup could.

And she was right. He was coming to terms with his feelings; and even the thought of you was enough to make him whole again. The fact it was so obvious was rather embarrassing, and he could feel the tips of his ears burn.

“Yeah, yeah… I guess you figured it out before I got a chance to tell you.”

They were nothing like they used to be, having settled on staying close through friendship. Although this maybe would’ve been hard to do in the past, Chilchuck felt more peaceful than he thinks he has in years. There was something about you that lit fire to his senses in ways he had long forgotten, and he found himself seeking you out more than he’d like to admit.

“I’ve told you plenty about my new girlfriend, now it’s your turn to spill. What are they like? It’s a sight to see you this happy.”

It was something only someone who really knew him could see; the change in his demeanor, the light in his eyes, the smile that threatened to spill from the corners of his lips. And it was all because of you.

“You’re going to laugh when I tell you how I met them,” he began, licking the ale from his lips in thought. “Laios’ party. I really ended up eating my own words about inner party romance, huh?” The last sentence came out in a grumble, one that caused her to laugh.

“Wow, they made you go against your own rules? Must be a keeper.”

And you were. Warm, but not enough to burn. Bright, but not blindingly so. Sweet, but not sickening. Chilchuck found himself feeling like a teenager again when it came to you. He bit his tongue.

“So you’re going to confess to them, right?” She teased, prodding his shoulder. “Look at you, blushing like a schoolboy. Must be serious.”

He opened his mouth to retort, before closing it again. The words died before he could speak, the full gravity of his feelings for you hitting him like a freight train. Burying his head in his arms, he groaned. “Shit…”

Chilchuck was doomed. Yet even as his head spiraled from a mixture of the alcohol and his new found love, it always went back to you. You, and your smiles, and your laugh, and your touch. There weren’t enough curse words he could possibly growl out in this moment to make himself feel better.

His ex wife laughed again, patting him on the back and stirring him from his thoughts. “Jeez, you really are a schoolboy. Maybe you should give them a love letter while you’re at it. Might be smart, actually.”

That’s how the rest of their time together went; two close friends musing about the ability to find love again. All because of you.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find.

im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial!

(this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals.

it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically:

contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark.

BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights

mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer!

the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only),

i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps.

there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects

you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way.

you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes.

don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on

that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared.

like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different.

on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art.

rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless.

find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment.

particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them)

but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker.

it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it

i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[starshinegazer]

Shoutout Sunday

I just wanted to collect some of the most memorable Astarion fanfics I've read so far and to give them and their authors a big ol' shoutout. These are some of the fics I strongly suggest others to check out, if you haven't yet.

Also, please feel free to comment and recommend your favorites as well! And, if you know of some of these authors on tumblr, lemme know, so I can add them too :) I'm not too good with words, so I'll be slapping some of the authors own words as descriptions (for now). Oh, and do be mindful of tags etc etc... Here goes, in no particular order:

Pieces Still Stuck In Your Teeth by howlsmovinglibrary (@wetcatspellcaster) "The Vampire Ascendent has crossed a line. Eleven years after making the biggest mistake of her life and losing the man she loved, tiefling wizard (now Archmage) Rosalie decides it’s time to put this Astarion in the ground for good. Hopefully, both her head and her heart are strong enough to see this awful task through to its end."

An Honest Lie by howlsmovinglibrary (@wetcatspellcaster) "Astarion and Rosalie think they understand each other perfectly, but they have each fallen prey to the other’s mask. As they both go forward with their adventure, will either of them dare to be honest?"

A Crooked Touch by eyes_of_the_lamb "If you want to read a story where Astarion is sweet from the start and Tav is here to fix him, this isn't the one. If you want to read about two terribly broken men spending a good long while making each other worse before they make each other better, this might be for you. If you thought the in-game romance was a little too easy and it should have been ten times more painful and difficult to convince Astarion he's worthy of love, this is definitely for you."

Perfect Slaughter by Imagineitdear (@imagineitdearies ) "Tyrus, a low-born drow with aspirations for necromantic wizardry, finds none of the hospitality he expected from his new noble patron, Cazador Szarr. Quickly he loses his life and future, his hopes and dreams—only to find something new to fight for in the unlikely arms of Cazador’s least favorite spawn."

A Novel Experience by meanboss (@meanbossart ) "Initially just an epilogue for my own game campaign with my big meaty dark urge drow, turned whole story which I accidentally deleted and am now reuploading, my bad LOL

Hope you enjoy!"

Carving Through The Dark by skitter "The realm is safe and the story is over.

Wren and Astarion descend into the Underdark in search of a new purpose, and learn a few things along the way. Namely, that healing isn't linear and sometimes love takes the long way round."

Blood In The Weave by gingealish "There is no need to breathe, but I miss it all the same. The suffocating silence, the desperate darkness have encapsulated me for I don’t even know how long; It could have been tendays or years. I’ve long since accepted my punishment, stopped trying in vain to crack the seal of my tomb against the onslaught of panic and hunger. Now I lay here, thinking of the friends I’ve lost, the lover who turned on me, and how to finally get even.

Astarion is the new Big Bad Evil Guy. Spawn Tav is rescued by a familiar face. "

When He’s all but Forgotten How to Love Again by bg_brainrot "You saved Baldur’s Gate almost 300 years ago. You died 150 years ago. On a new life now, you find that memories from your past lead you to a specific silver-haired man. Who was he, and why won't he leave you be? tldr; An Elf-Tav reincarnation story where Tav dreams about Astarion in their nightly reveries and eventually seeks him out once they reach maturity. Things definitely totally go well."

More Than Any Words by mataglap "They have saved the city and possibly the world. All is great and everyone is happy... except Astarion has been banished back into the shadows, and Tav is stuck in an uneven battle with his own oath. He's losing the fight. He knew he would from the moment he fell for Astarion. But he can't lose yet, not before they find a way for Astarion to walk in the sun again."

Inexhaustible Oil by homeward_bound "This is the absolute opposite of a redemption fic. A post-canon, fall-from-grace, "I can make you infinitely worse" kind of story, in which there is no simple happy ending. But there's mystery on the way. And dragons. True love, even. So if you're fine with that, come aboard. It's going to be a wild ride."