#BUT art is kind of where I’m trying to go career wise
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storytellering · 1 year ago
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hey man love ur stuff. i was wondering if youd considered posting some of ur art on ao3? ive seen more ppl doing that lately, since ao3 isnt gonna ban "adult content." id love to follow u on twitter but i had to quit using that god forsaken app awhile ago lmao
Hey!
I honestly don’t plan to do that, truth be told I was initially very hesitant to publicly link my ao3 to my art account at all tjfk writing is a skill I’ve only just started brushing up on (I’ve always done it, but never seriously and not with the intent of making stuff that was to be seen by the public, and definitely haven’t studied it the way I have art) and it’s taking me a bit, still, to not feel embarrassed enough by everything I put out to not even want my name on it. I’d rather keep my art and my writing separate! If I were to I would have to make an account specifically for that, but honestly, that would only come if I felt the need to archive my stuff and not actively partecipate in the community anymore? I don’t know how to explain it. Obviously I’m still gonna keep posting my stuff even if Twitter crumbles, I’m trying to find an equivalent alternative still, and I don’t blame anyone for wanting to leave that dumpster fire, I’m just the kind of person who’s very hesitant to leave a place once I’ve figured out how it works - I honestly don’t know where else to put my nsfw if it does crumble into dust, tho. I might start posting previews on Tumblr with links to privatter in that case (they say they don’t allow nsfw but until they actively come down and delete my posts themselves, honestly, I’m gonna treat it like it is ok. After all all my posts there come with a disclaimer warning about 18+ themes and every potential CW present in the image so, I don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with that.)? I think I’ll see about that once it really comes to it. Terribly sorry if that locks anyone out! For what it’s worth, the full pieces of my nsfw are still on privatter so if you can access them there they’re still gonna be available, and for regular art I have here, bluesky, and misskey. (And Instagram, though I try to be as non-controversial there as possible because I’m honestly kinda terrified of the large anti presence there hfjfkf, so I don’t post most of my ship art there.)
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csuitebitches · 11 months ago
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I apologize for the long ask and if this question is a bit juvenile but objectively, how can one “gain” pretty privilege/gauge how they are viewed? I’ve done well in career pursuits for how early on I am ( I graduated in 2020) but started noticing that the invites to events/opportunities where one can really establish themselves not only professionally but socially, I was getting passed over by some higher up colleagues. In speaking to a female mentor who is related to my field and the same background as me (Black), she alluded that while my race may play a small factor in it, it’s more so my appearance that may be holding me back as the personality and poise is there. Some coworkers of mine who are brilliant and POC have similar credentials and positions as I and while we are all wonderful and hard working, they (who I feel are more beautiful and put together looks-wise) have discussed privately to me they have noticed a difference in treatment between us. While it’s not right, I am adult enough to know not to let things that can be fixed hinder the life I want. Your page is a wealth of information and I appreciate how encouraging you are!!
well. I’m going to be very blunt.
it’s all fun and games to say “oh fuck the beauty standards they’re terrible and they shouldn’t exist” yes, true, unfortunately they do exist and they play a bigger role than we imagine it to be.
the first thing you have to get right is your mindset.
you need to be strong enough to admit that you need changes in X, Y, Z area but not in A, B, C area. You also need to be a little loyal towards your racial identity (for the better or worse) because that’s what is going to make you stand out.
if you have a sensitive, overly emotional mindset and you get hurt very easily / become obsessive by nature, I highly recommend you to STOP reading now.
Understand what is considered pretty in your country and area. Even in one country, beauty standards can different from the north and south. Don’t exactly try to become attractive for the opposite sex but understand what they find attractive because these guys are your primary responders to your pretty privilege. Women will be kind on the surface and so it can be difficult to get constructive criticism from them.
Understand what YOU consider pretty. Who are the women who you think are crazy beautiful? What do they look like, dress like, how’s their hair and their make up, can you replicate any of it? Rule of thumb when it comes to hair and beauty - look at influencers / celebs who are of your racial background for the best fit.
there are always a few things that are universally considered “respectfully attractive” not “you wanna fuck me attractive”- semi modesty/ modesty outfits (my father always told me that when in doubt, go for a more conservative look), hygiene, well kept hair, clean nails and toe nails, soft skin, natural make up, natural hair colour, perfume, clothes that fit, skin care, a workout routine.
pretty privilege is not just the art of looking pretty. It’s also bringing in something of value on the table. Value = money / connections / knowledge/ humour / being the fun social person / whatever value the target group considers to be the most important for you to be relevant to them. Work on your soft skills. It’s better to look half baked but have solid soft skills than to look amazing and not know how to converse.
things that one normally notices when meeting someone new:
Skin - is it clear, is the make up overdone?
hair - is it messy or does it suit your face structure?
how you smell
teeth, when you talk - and dental hygiene
shoes - are they filthy?
shirt/ top - does it fit you well (always check that the seams on your shoulder and your actual shoulder line up), the colour of your clothes
body type, posture, how you carry yourself
start with incremental changes. Make a list of things you think you could improve on (this is not a list of “ugly” things, it’s an “improvement/ potential” list). Sort them according to ease of improvement (is this going to be expensive and difficult or affordable and easy?) and time (can this be done overnight or will it take some time).
Use point 1 and 2 only as launching pads. You do not have to look like Beyoncé, you’re simply understanding what her MUA and hair stylist does for her that could work for you. After a point, you have to ensure that YOUR identify sticks out and is still there, you’re not born to imitate someone else and also, it’s very obvious when someone is trying to be someone they’re not.
again. I repeat. If you’re going to get obsessive and make yourself sick over this it’s NOT WORTH IT. If you’re not mentally capable of making these changes, do not go through it.
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treeremovalpensacola · 1 month ago
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Recommender: Experts weigh in on the future of the industry
If you're in the Pensacola area, then you have probably already experienced the need for having to remove a tree or stump or getting your tree's trimmed. The cost of tree removal varies depending on a few factors, such as: - The type of tree that needs to be removed - The size of the tree - The location of the tree - The condition of the tree Pensacola Tree Removal offers competitive pricing for our tree removal services. For a full list of services Tree removal services visit Pensacola Tree Removal Service for a fast, friendly and reliable quote that you can count on. This will help not only beautify your property but also is the safest way to do it. Ken Hutcheson LM: What does it take to make it in the industry? “I’ll be straight up: You need to enjoy managing some level of what I call chaos. That’s a negative word, but we deal with weather, we deal with small tools and equipment, we deal with employees, we deal with customers. If you don’t enjoy moving those pieces around on the chessboard, if you don’t enjoy waking up and saying, ‘I’m going to control what I can control,’ if you can’t manage those unexpected things, then you know what? You probably shouldn’t own any kind of a business — stay in that cubicle,” said Ken Hutcheson, president, U.S. Lawns. LM: Where do you foresee the future of private equity investment in the lawn care market? Robert Palmer “I’ve been following it since private equity jumped into the pest control world almost 10 years ago. We see that there’s three or four primary private equity players moving into the green space, and that’s going to consolidate down to three. And that consolidation is already beginning. Eventually, there will probably be two or three primary private equity folks that are going to continue to consolidate. I think it’s a great thing for our industry because it’s bringing in so much talent, and we’re seeing a lot of these companies really become better businesses that do lawn care versus really good lawn care companies that are growing at business. I think the business acumen is growing,” said Rob Palmer, president, Lawn Squad (part of private equity-backed Authority Brands). Josh Sevick LM: How do you feel about the future of the lawn care business? “I’ll dissect that a little bit for the Grounds Guys that has been, over the last few years, one of our fastest growing businesses here. We love the upside. We love people thinking about investing in their homes, thinking about having the outdoor space be more than just a place where you walk through. It’s a place where you want to live, right? You want to beautify that area. The Grounds Guys want to be a part of that. We’re really finding great profitable services to go after in that space. And we think that’s a major growth area. The growth in that space in general is relatively untapped,” said Josh Sevick, group president, Neighborly, The Grounds Guys and Lawn Pride. Jennifer Lemcke LM: What is the best advice you’ve been given that you always try to abide by? “Listen so you can have thoughtful inputs, whether it be an issue, idea or a thought. If you don’t listen, you start working on the wrong problems. This is something I’ve always held true all through my career: master the art of listening and hearing what is being said,” Jennifer Lemcke, CEO, Weed Man. LM: What is your favorite magazine in the industry? Josh Wise “That’s easy. I know personally, when I first started the business and got into this thing, I relied heavily on Landscape Management magazine for everything from the how-tos to the different columns that are in there: weed identification, insect identification, marketing and advertising. You guys really have done well over the years with educating and teaching and training the industry and the owner. I applaud you,” said Josh Wise, CEO, GrassRoots Turf. The post Recommender: Experts weigh in on the future of the industry first appeared on Landscape Management.
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👀
Dear Reader,
I must tell you that my life is not perfect but I am choosing to see the positive things. The old version of myself could neither predict nor compete with the new Zy. 
Here are some changes in my life:
1. I am more secure now that I know what I can offer. I am more confident with who I am and how I respond to situations. I just realize that I have to take the advice I keep giving to my friends and family whenever they are not motivated enough. I need to listen to myself. (I surely give interestingly kind and mature advice. HAHA!)
2. I have been complimenting people more often than ever if I get the impression that they deserve it. Men or women. I just think people need to know how others see them. I remember one time I saw my colleague with a new haircut that actually fits her style, and I was like, “Your haircut looks good on you. “ I also complimented a friend when he sent me a photo of him wearing black polo. I said that his shoulders look more defined with it. It perfectly conformed to the shape of his upper trunk.
3. I have let go of the version of myself where I try to please people. I no longer pretend. I say what I want to say but I am more careful of how I deliver my words. If I do not like something, I say no without guilt. I can say that I finally learned the art of protecting my inner peace. I no longer care what people say about me.
4. This one is funny. I no longer care about being mysterious. I am who I am. I don’t want any more guesses. This is me. What you see is what you get (but even better if you are my person). 
5. I am now okay with going out on dates, basically to know what I really prefer in a relationship, and what I am looking for in a partner. I used to say that I hate dating. Before, I just needed to know if we both liked each other, and if we do, we would officially go out together. I have always thought that dating means you are in a romantic relationship but not officially, and it is such a waste of time. Screw that idea. Anyway, now I know that there are a couple of definitions of dating. I realize that dating with boundaries is possible and that there is no need to do what the actual couple does, just merely getting to know someone. I know better now.  
6. I am braver now than in previous years. I do not settle for anything less. I know what I want. I know what I need. I do not want to be an option. I can never be an option. Haha! After so many years of mastering self-love, I would not let anyone ruin that for me. While I am ready to be in a relationship, I will never beg for affection and respect.  It is true though that I am still learning to love another person than myself and put my trust in them, but I know that I am willing to work it out with someone as long as they are patient and understanding. 
7. I feel like I shouldn't shut out the fact that I go to the doctor once or twice a week. Hahaha! I would not go into detail, but suffice it to say that this is now a regular part of my life. I am okay though. I am healthy so far, and I am excited about life.
8. Career-wise, I know what I want and I'm only waiting for the right moment to act.
9. I always say that I do not give chances to people, but then I realize that I actually do forgive but with caution. I am starting to acknowledge this part of myself as I realize there is nothing wrong with being gentle and kind. One can know their self-worth without limiting interactions and someone’s chance to change. It is really about finding balance.
I think that’s all for now. How about you? What changes have you noticed in your life this 2023?😄
#z
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everythingthemoontouches · 3 years ago
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💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙
Hola!
Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕
You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.
For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.
For jupiter in the first there's KRS.
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🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.
😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..
😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.
Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :
spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.
🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.
In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?
♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)
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Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.
I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.
In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?
Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.
With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.
All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.
Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?
Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?
Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.
There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.
With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .
Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.
The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.
With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.
Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.
Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..
🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..
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Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.
Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?
Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.
Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.
Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.
Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.
So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.
Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.
Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.
Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?
This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.
Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements
Toodles
Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊
Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.
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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years ago
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hi! I’m the anon who asked for overprotective peeta and i LOVED everything you wrote!!! 💓 i would be so happy to read your other prompt if you feel up to it?
Hi! Idk how this one is gonna turn out but let’s see! Thank you for sending these requests I love them 😍 and if anyone else has any I’m still taking them 💖💖💖.
“It’s alright,” Peeta whispers as he presses the glass to my lips, his hand brushing back my damp and dirty hair. “It’s alright, Katniss. Drink up.”
I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know where to begin, how to decipher to my husband where everything went wrong.
I haven’t been feeling great the last few days. And I’m not speaking health wise.
It started out with Prim’s birthday passing last week and then a rainstorm the day after. The yearly memorialization of my deceased little sister is always difficult. Losing her has never stopped stinging, like an open wound that cannot be sewed up again no matter how much time passes. The person I loved so fiercely and protected so vigorously that I was willing to die for her to live.
How well that worked out for me.
Rainstorms just serve to remind me of the games and of Peeta nearly dying before my eyes and by my hand. Nights with rain and thunder are never good for me, no matter how much I try to disguise it.
But things may have still been fine if it’d ended there. But it didn’t. The next night Peeta couldn’t sleep, which kept me up as well.
My husband is many things. Kind and generous and affectionate and articulate are all on the top of that list.
But quiet is nowhere to be found and his heavy tread storming around in the art room and the kitchen kept me awake the entire night too.
You’d think my body being absolutely exhausted would have made it easier to sleep the following evening but all it served in doing is accessing my adrenaline, which is never good in any case, and this morning, after I’d spent a second night tossing and turning in bed, I thought stepping out into the woods would help clear my head. I thought it would give me some sort of peace, if nothing else.
And, as it’s quite apparent now, I thought wrong.
Cato, the Career who came in third during my and Peeta’s first games, had an ugly ending. To put it lightly.
The District One boy, the eighteen years old who was trained his entire life to bring honor to his district by winning the Hunger Games, had a death I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It was gruesome and harrowing for me to listen as the mutts ate him away, as they gnawed on his limp body for hours while the air at the top of the Cornucopia dropped in temperature. I can’t even begin to imagine being the one eaten.
I never saw his face after the Capitol made mutts got their teeth in him. At least not clearly. The night was dark and I was too busy trying to block out the sound of flesh being chewed like wild turkey meat to search for more than a silhouette when I shot and ended his mercy, when listening to him being eaten became unbearable.
So how my brain somehow conjured up the image of Cato, barely alive, with a half mutilated face and only one arm, today in the woods is beyond my comprehension.
I was hunting a deer. That much I remember. I saw my first deer of the season and I quietly loaded the bow, waited for it to walk on by and took the shot.
But then I blinked and the animal became a bloody and disgusting Cato and I lost it. I don’t quite remember what happened next but I completely lost it.
Hours must have passed, though to me, in that state, seconds feel like days. I think I was running — from what, I don’t know because Cato’s mauled ghost followed me everywhere I went — and tripped. I must have tripped over a tree branch or stump because I fell. I hit the ground and my knee began to sting and all I could do was lie there and will the vision of my mercy kill away. I tried to will the hallucination before me to leave, to go away, to give me peace.
I must have been missing for hours because it was not even noon when I set out for the woods and the sky was black when I was found. When my husband realized I was missing and something was very, very wrong.
Peeta, the eternal people person he is, managed to gather up half the district to search for me. Among them, unsurprisingly, was my old mentor, Thom who had become a good friend in the last few years and Delly, the overly perky but somehow endearing town girl.
I’m glad it was my husband who found me first, before anyone else, because if my body felt any touch but his it surely would have went into fight or flight. Knowing me, it would have been fight. And then I’d have more to apologize for, besides dragging people out into the scary woods late in the evening.
Peeta carried me home after that, no stopping to question me or pester about what happened. Haymitch tried as did another old man but Peeta abruptly shut them down in no uncertain terms.
He carried me the entire way home, wrapped in his jacket, and took me right up to the bedroom. He removed my clothes and washed me up with a wet rag and slipped me beneath the sheets of the bed. His hand cupped my cheek and his lips found my face and I wasn’t even aware of my tears until his thumb wiped them away.
“You scared me,” he whispered in a hoarse and cracked voice. “You scared me so badly, Katniss.”
“I’m sorry,” I whimpered but my body was warm now and I was so tired and so scared and I finally felt safe. Within minutes I fell fast asleep and didn’t wake until morning light.
“Peeta,” I murmur in the present, looking up at him as he refills the glass of water I just finished. He knows how thirsty I get when I’m like this.
“Yeah?” He quietly says, his eyes soft and gentle and worried.
“I’m sorry I scared you.”
His lips press to my forehead for a long moment as he releases a deep, deep sigh. “I don’t care as long as you’re okay.”
“I will be,” I say, because here now, with a good night’s sleep and warm blankets and a fire burning in the hearth in the corner of the bedroom, I feel okay. For the first time in days I feel alright again.
He takes off his clothes as well — it’s too hot in here for his taste, the window now closed for my comfort — and climbs in the other side of the bed to cuddle me.
His hand runs through my hair, smoothing it down my back soothingly. “I was so scared something had happened to you,” he admits, his lips kissing the crown of my head now.
“Just a bad hallucination.”
“I must be rubbing off on you,” he jokes but there’s an underlying guilt in his tone.
“Peeta, you didn’t do anything to cause this-“
“I kept you awake the other-“
“I’ve kept you awake a million nights before, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I wrap my leg around his waist and tuck my head under his chin and close my eyes as he squeezes me tight. All the anxiety he must have felt is conveyed through his embrace.
I don’t fall asleep again but the moment is too sweet, too wonderful to end just yet. It isn’t until Peeta decides he needs to rise that I work up the nerve to as well.
He’s already dressed and presentable when I pull on one of his old shirts and move to open the window, to let in some cool air for Peeta’s sake now.
By the time I’ve washed my face, combed my hair and cleaned my teeth, Peeta is down in the living room, speaking to someone.
I’m not in the mood to entertain guests — when am I ever though? — despite the fact that I should. Half of Twelve were out searching for me and I should be gifting them baskets of meat and pastries for their efforts.
But I’m not decent to hold a conversation right now and I plainly don’t feel like it, to be honest, so instead of announcing my presence, I tiptoe down stairs and peak around the corner, as silent as I am while hunting prey.
Leevy and her husband, Delly and another merchant born girl, Haymitch and a few others, all sit across the couches and sofa chairs. They look concerned and I feel a gigantic pang of remorse for causing all this.
Although it is nice to know I’m truly cared for, despite my surly and unpleasant demeanor. Peeta’s probably to blame for a lot of the affinity towards me.
I don’t catch any of their words but I do hear my husband as he replies to them. “Katniss just needs time to recuperate. She’ll be okay, I promise.”
“I can stay and cook for you guys,” Delly offers but Peeta — thankfully, as kind as her words are — shakes his head.
“No, Del, we’re okay. Thank you — thank all of you for your concern but my wife really isn’t up for visitors right now.”
There’s no question in his statement. His words are still warm enough but it’s clear that he’s telling them to clear out and leave us be.
I slip back up the stairs just as everyone heads out, some of them a little reluctant to go. I try to take note of each and every one of them, so I can do something later to repay all for what they did for me.
I do notice one person doesn’t head out with the crowd and I roll my eyes as I enter the living room now. “Haymitch,” I murmur, giving him a look that’s too appreciative to be sardonic. But I try my best to look somewhat annoyed. “What are you still doing here?”
He gestures his chin towards the kitchen. “The boy is making enough food for three. I thought I’d help you two finish it or else that cat is going to keep getting fatter by the day.”
His excuse doesn’t match up with the look in his eyes but I just shoot him a half smile and let it go. Because I know he loves me. Despite how he acts, I know I scared him too.
I make my way towards the kitchen, finding my husband already waiting for me. “Hi,” I say quietly, wrapping my arms around his neck without preamble.
“Hi, baby,” he whispers back, swaying me back and forth for a moment. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” I mumble against his throat, but make no move to let him go.
“I was thinking,” he says after a long moment of just holding me. His hand rubs my back softly. “Maybe you should stay out of the woods. For a while. Until you feel confident that what happened… won’t happen again.”
He knows how important the time in the woods is for me. He knows that hunting is an integral part of who I am. And he knows this is a hard request to ask of me.
In truth I would probably ask him the same thing but I still don’t think I can agree to his request. But I don’t want to talk about it now. I don’t want to have this conversation tonight. “Can we discuss this later?” I ask, not moving from my place in his arms.
“Of course,” he says before placing an open mouthed kiss on my neck. “I’m just happy you’re okay.”
I put my hands on either side of his face and bring his lips to meet mine. I try to put all my gratitude, all my adoration, all my contrition in the kiss, trying to convey how I feel through actions rather than through words.
But some things need to be said.
“I love you, Peeta,” I whisper as soon as we break apart for air.
He doesn’t even hesitate, resting his forehead against mine and kissing my nose. “I love you too, Katniss. So, so much.”
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jikookuntold · 4 years ago
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What happened to Jikook in May 2015?
“How Jikook Started?” “Jikook and significance of May” “Jungkook and his Song Recommendations” were all the titles I thought about for this post and I ended up with the one you see. But what made me write this? A few days ago I came across an old tweet of JK from May 2015. This tweet was a song recommendation which I hadn’t notice before because I was only focused on 123 theory and as we all know this theory starts from October 2015 and I thought maybe we should pay more attention to the other songs JK recommended either. So I decided to go deeper and when I checked the tweets from May to August 2015 some interesting theories came to my mind.
Jikookers believe Jikook’s relationship changed in INU era and for proof of this theory they discuss some moments (long stares, exchanging jackets, etc.) but I’ve never seen them paying attention to the songs JK recommended in this era. It’s obvious that not all the songs he listens, likes or recommends are about romantic aspects of his life. On the other hand, musicians listen to any kind of song and this helps them for their career so not everything has to have a secret message or meaning, but no one can ignore the fact that when you feel connected to some lyrics and it captures your emotions you tend to share it with others so they can understand your feelings. This is more relatable for introverted people, an introverted person with artistic features uses different forms of art to express their feelings and JK is one of them.
JK’s song recommendation tweets started at the end of 2014 with “Lee Yerin -Your Universe” on December 24th and continued with “Misty Miller - Best Friend” on February 22th, and two songs on March 9th“King Krule - Baby Blue” and “Years & Years – Memo”. This declaration was necessary for this post but I’m not going to analyze these songs here. These songs are very significant (especially the last one from an openly gay artist with very expressing lyrics) and they need their own post.
After “Years & Years – Memo” JK didn’t recommend any song until May 24th. It’s interesting how there is a pattern for dates of his song recommendation tweets, it’s like he spams Twitter for a week and then deletes the app for months. Even his tweets in general, follow this pattern and most introverts can relate because sometimes we feel like expressing ourselves on social media, and some days we avoid it at any cost.
So, what happened in May 2015? Why Jikookers think this period is significant in Jikook history? Jikook had some obvious moments in INU era, JK seemed to be enchanted by Jimin and Jimin had became quieter and more preserved but still captivated by cute maknae. The most notable moment from this era happened on May 5th at Sukira Radio Interview where the MC asked about Jimin’s love for JK and Jimin answered: “There is something about him I don’t like but he is cute”. JK’s reaction to this answer is remarkable especially when Tae almost exposed them by saying “I think he kinda likes men” about Jimin and Jimin didn’t deny it.
A week later, on May 13th BTS went to Kota Kinabalu to film the Summer Package and Jikook filmed a log together before coming back to Korea. A few weeks later on June 5th when they were in Malaysia for Red Bullet Concert, they asked JK in an interview to describe Jimin "Jimin hyung is such a nice guy. His personality is just too nice. And he keeps giving me nice food. And when he smiles, his eyes are so pretty. He's the most charming guy on the team. If I were a girl I would date a guy like Jimin hyung." He answered. Fun Fact: They didn’t ask him who he wanted to date if he were a girl, but yet JK managed to state this anyway. They had asked this question from the members since their debut but JK never had chosen any member for someone who wants to date, and this moment was a turning point in JK’s attitude especially toward Jimin, even Jimin himself was shocked by JK’s answer. This fact directs us to the main question: What did happen in May 2015?
How was JK feeling at this point? Did something change in him? We can’t give a precise answer because we don’t know his emotions unless he shares them with us. As I said earlier, sharing music is a good way to express emotions. With recommending a song you can share your feelings without being too obvious (and get away with it because they are not your words, duh?) JK didn’t recommend any song after March 9th for two and a half months and finally, on May 24th he felt to share music and became active again. But three days before this date, Jimin had shared a song, surprisingly.
We know it’s not very common for Jimin to recommend a song especially in the style Namjoon and JK do, but on May 21st he recommended a newly released song named Pretty Bae by Lee Hyun and Park Bo Ram, here are the lyrics translations:
They say I’m pretty these days that I’m like a woman
They ask me, do you even have any flaws?
They say I look good these days, my friends tell me
Is there anyone out there like me?
I walk on this street while humming
I feel good today for some reason
I wanna date someone pretty
A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face
I wanna date someone nice
A person with a warm heart rather than a good body
Had a cup of coffee on the weekend, watched a movie I wanted to see
It’s all good but what’s missing?
A person to laugh at my boring stories
Where is that person?
I walk on this street while humming
I feel good today for some reason
I wanna date someone pretty
A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face
I wanna date someone nice
A person with a warm heart rather than a good body
He’s not handsome but nice-looking
She has no makeup but she shines
Is he looking at me?
What if she catches me? I pretend not to see
It feels good, should I go to her/him
And carefully start a conversation?
I wanna date someone pretty
A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face
I wanna date someone nice
A person with a warm heart rather than a good body
I wanna have a pretty love
A person with a pretty heart rather than a pretty face
I wanna date someone nice
A pretty person, a nice person, I hope it’s you
As you see, the lyrics are about someone who is feeling pretty and wants to date a person with a good and warm heart but he/she secretly wants it to be him/her crush. Jimin’s timestamp is on the last part of the lyrics saying “A pretty person, a nice person, I hope it’s you”. And three days later JK posts a screenshot of a song from Kehlani (an openly pansexual artist) named “You should be here”. Here are the lyrics:
I'm looking right at you, but you're not there
I'm seeing right past you, but you seem well aware
Your body is here but your mind is somewhere else
So far gone and you think I can't tell
Can't tell that you are disconnected
You pulled away and I miss your presence
I always said to you
Baby, you should be here, right here
Baby, you should be here, right here
Don’t know where you went but you're lost now
Don’t know where you went but you're gone now
Don’t know where you went but you're lost now
Don’t know where you went but you're gone now
Head on your chest babe, but your heart is so quiet
We used to talk all night long, now we laying in silence
Your arms around me but your soul is somewhere else
Gone so long and I know you so well
I know that you are everything that I ever dreamed of
And hoped that love had a happy ending
Baby, you should be here, right here (yeah-yeah)
Baby, you should be here, right here (you should be here, right here, right here)
Don't know where you went but you're lost now
Don't know where you went but you're gone now
Don't know where you went but you're lost now (oh-whoa)
Don't know where you went but you're gone now
You should be here, right, right here yeah
The lyrics are talking about someone who the artist cares about and it feels like that person is physically present but his/her mind is somewhere else. He/she wants that person close, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. A few hours later, JK recommends another song, this time a famous song (any Shrek lover know this by heart) I need some sleep by Eels: Here are the lyrics:
You can't go home like this
I try counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down to low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I'm in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning round
Everyone says I'm getting down to low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
*Fun fact: This song was on Jimin’s playlist in 2017.
This song is about mental and emotional frustration and exhaustion, being deep into something, and seeking redemption. We can’t tell if JK is expressing this about himself or someone else since his timestamp is on the part saying “You can't go home like this”. But the song JK recommended the next day (May 25th) is another story and has a straightforward message. “Can’t help falling in love” is a hit song by Elvis but the track JK post is a cover of this song by Eels:
Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows, surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
The lyrics don’t need any explanation. His timestamp is on the part saying “If I can't help falling in love with you?” this part comes after the part “Would it be a sin” and makes it more remarkable. It’s obvious that there was something big going on with his emotions at this point and when you put these four songs together (one from Jimin and three from JK) you can see the roller coaster of feelings very clear. But the next day (May 26th) something interesting happened which relays my theory. Namjoon recommended a song named Pray from Younha and this was the thing he wrote in the caption of his tweet: “For all the broken-hearted” Sure this can be to anyone but two weeks later on Jun 10th JK recommended the same song without any caption. Here are the lyrics:  
When you are lost
I will shine a light
When your heart shakes because of the wind
I will hold your hand
I am praying for you
Praying that you will be protected
So that my hopes can reach you
The closed door is slowly opening
I hope you won’t cry over your scars
Or get trapped in despair with pain
With all my heart, I hope you will be comforted
Today, I’m praying again
I am praying for you
Praying that you will be protected
The world has become harsh seas
For you, who has left for the voyage?
I hope you won’t cry over your scars
Or get trapped in despair with pain
With all my heart, I hope you will be comforted
Today, I’m praying again
When Namjoon literally recommended this song two weeks before, why JK had to do this again? Unless he had something to express through lyrics. As you see the lyrics are about pain, despair and getting emotional scars or as Namjoon captioned “something for broken-hearted people”. Two days later JK posted a video of himself walking and singing in the night, the song he was humming was from Yoon Jong Shin and here are the lyrics:
On January 13, which was especially cold, I first met her, who laughed a lot
She said she never spent a birthday with a boyfriend before
She liked shoes and bags and that was so cute
She said I looked sad from behind as she took a picture and smiled
On the sunny first day of April, I made her cry for the first time
After seeing her pretty eyes get puffy, I cried too
Every time we fought, we always used the word “break up”
We wouldn’t talk to each other for days, having a tense battle
Would she know that my heart raced every time I went to pick her up?
I have never met anyone who was better than her in my life
On June 17, she was struggling and broke up with me
In the end, I gave her a scar, although I didn’t mean to
A month passed, a year passed and still, there are times when I miss her
Whenever I pass by that street in Ichon-dong, it’s still clear like it was yesterday
The park at night, the hamburger store, the rice bowl store in the basement
There is so much emotion in this lyrics and you have to be really in love and broken-hearted to hum this song in the dark let alone filming and posting the video. After that JK didn’t recommend any song for two weeks and he came back on June 27th with another straightforward message. A song named Love Me Again by G.Soul and here are the lyrics translation:
It’s already been a few years
And we’re standing in front of each other like this
As if nothing happened
Just like the old days
As I look at you
Who is calling me a good friend?
I tried to hold it in
But I need to tell you something
I know I hurt you but
Could u love me again?
Without knowing, I’m in love with you again
So could u love me again?
I didn’t know love back then
Baby love me again
Baby please please please
Need u love me again?
It’s already 3am
We’re both getting a little drunk
As if it’s nothing, you talk about your new boyfriend
As I look at you
Who is calling me a good friend?
I can’t hold it in
And I have to tell you something
I know I hurt you but
Could u love me again?
Without knowing, I’m in love with you again
So could u love me again?
I didn’t know love back then
Baby love me again
Baby please please, please
Need u love me again?
Oh please believe me girl
This time, I’ll really
Love u harder
Oh baby one more time
Love me again
I know I hurt you but
Could u love me again?
Without knowing, I’m in love with you again
So could u love me again?
I didn’t know love back then
Baby love me again
Baby please please, please
Need u love me again?
Oh baby just please please, please
Could u love me again?
Again, love me again, again
Oh girl I need you to
Love me baby
Love me again
He wants that person to give him another chance and love him again. He confesses that he has hurt that person because he didn’t know love back then and doesn’t want to be “the good friend” that person sees him now. He wants that person’s love.  JK didn’t recommend any song after this for another two weeks and came back on July 10th with a song RapmonHyung has recommended to him: Tears by Le So Ra
Me in the mirror inside the cramped dark room…
The dismal face is quite ugly
Foolish like this, I’m left behind
But I still long for you.
Miserably left behind like this,
I just make unwelcome calls
It’s okay if you get mad at me
It’s okay if you make me cry
Just turn all your attention back to me
It’s okay, just say anything
It’s okay if you mock me
I’m like this only with you, oh my own.
Like a speck of dust in this cave-like room
I’m foolish and I’m left alone
I miss you again today before you miss me
I’m miserably left alone like this
And again I call you before you call me
It’s okay if you get mad at me
It’s okay if you make me cry
Just turn all your attention back to me
It’s okay, just say anything
It’s okay if you mock me
I’m like this only with you, oh my own.
In the mirror, I look so ugly
This song is about being left alone and rejected. His loved one is mad at him and doesn’t give the love and the attention he/she used to give before. Four days later he recommended another song named Romance by CHEEZE and here are the lyrics:
With a red balloon full of
Your deep flowery scent
You surround me in your
Lifeless hollow smile
All our warm memories together
Can’t melt my heart
That has been frozen over
By that cold stare of yours
Walking through the night, side by side
The faint silhouette of your back
Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare
Like the strings of a puppeteer
Losing sleep over the cold half of the bed
As your wandering image gently crushes me down
Walking through the night, side by side
The faint silhouette of your back
Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare
Like the strings of a puppeteer
Walking through the night, side by side
The faint silhouette of your back
Still haunt me as my sweetest nightmare
Like the strings of a puppeteer
This is another song about someone who used to be warm and loving but now has a cold stare with no emotion. In my theories, this emotional conflict started in May and ended in August. Why August and how it ended? In August 18th Japan fan-meeting Jimin fainted and apparently this had a big impact on Jikook’s relationship. The day after, when Jimin came back on the stage JK did a beautiful interaction with him. Two days later JK did a live stream and sang a song named I will give it all to you. Three days later Namjoon posted screenshot of this song with the caption “Jeon Jungkook OST”. Here are the lyrics:
I have something for you
I have something to say tonight
I will give it all to you
My love that's about to burst
There's nothing I can't do for you
After picking the stars, I'll fill your hands
I have something for you
I have something to give you tonight
There's nothing I can't do for you
After picking the stars, I'll fill your hands
I will give it all to you
My love that is about to explode
The lyrics are talking of a beautiful love about to burst and the lover is ready to sacrifice and do anything for him/her love even if it’s bringing the stars in the sky and hand it to his/her lover. 12 hours later Jimin tweeted something suspicious: “The stars in the sky (musical note emoji) (surprised emoji)”. This tweet has no media and the caption has no hashtag except Jimin. It seems like someone had brought the stars in the sky for Jimin and it has something to do with music either. I wonder who it would be…
Conclusion
I tried so hard to not express my theories and leave the conclusion to you but some facts are undeniable especially when you put them together with the events and moments that happened in that period. I (rightfully) believe that the chronology of the events is extremely important and it can tell you more than just a surface without reading too much of it. If you don’t like theories or you have your own theories just don’t read this part because I don’t want to change anyone’s mind:
We all know about Jimin’s affection for JK in their debut years. I don’t think that was something fake or exaggerated, he really adored JK and wanted his attention (maybe he was aware of their mutual crush, I don’t know) but he could never imagine this turning into something serious. But it did and JK was the one who noticed this first and took action but he got rejected and became broken-hearted. This rejection was the result of fear, fear of an unknown future. Jimin’s love for JK was still strong but he had to reject JK to stop things from getting worse and out of hand. But in JK’s eyes, everything was different. He wanted him back, he was missing Jimin’s affection because he had found out that he is in love, the thing he didn’t know beforehand (I think memory of the rainy day has happened at this era, or maybe I’m wrong) After weeks of emotional conflict, finally they were at the same page and they were ready to make their relationship work. JK assured Jimin about his love and it seemed like a happily ever after but little did they know about their future and fate.
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imgonnapanic · 4 years ago
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Third gym squad with a theater kid s/o:
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Kuroo Tetsurou
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Tbh, he knew what he was signing up for when he started dating you.
He’s just not used to it, because he doesn’t have many extroverted friends who aren’t annoying pieces of-
I can envision you both going on the hub to watch pirated musicals. Hamilton, Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, you name it.
He loooves your singing voice, even if it’s your nervous purposely bad one.
You love the musicals that include allll the good stuff (trauma, death, tragedy, etc.)
Or the iconic ones. You can’t forget about those.
So you’re less-than-thrilled when your school chooses “Honk! The Musical” for this years play.
It’s a spin off of the ugly duckling that no one has heard of.
And when you come up to Kuroo sulking about this boring play you’re emotionally obliged to do, he can’t help but laugh a little.
But his laughter stops when he sees your eyes down at your shoes.
And then he shuts the fuck up because you’re actually upset.
After assuring that you will still be Broadway material even if you’re dressed up as a goose, you feel a little better.
In the two weeks leading up to auditions, Kuroo is starting to get caught humming “A Poultry Tale” at practice.
I mean, his Spotify feed went from Kendrick Lamar to Legally Blonde within one month of dating you, so cut the guy a break.
The day of auditions, you’re a bundle of nerves as you go over the dumb song again and again.
And Kuroo is like “calm down babe you’re gonna do great.”
That sure did a ton.
“Shut up Heather”
...
“Sorry Heather”
He’s also a bundle of nerves at practice, though. He just couldn’t let you see it.
By now, all of the Nekoma team knows you’re auditioning today, and the minute he walks in he just holds up a hand.
“They’re auditioning as we speak”
He’s not surprised when you get the lead.
He looks like the cat who ate the canary he’s a little amused when he figures out the lead is named “Ugly” but by now he has learned to keep it on the inside.
Your schedule is now jam packed, but that’s okay, because Nationals are also coming up for Kuroo and needs to put in some extra hours at the gym anyways.
You better believe two months later Kuroo is making his entire team buy a ticket.
Kuroo didn’t even get to see you on opening night because of dress rehearsals, but that’s okay.
He cleared his entire schedule that day and now has time to wallow in his own excitement and buy you some flowers.
He’s there with the squad team at 6PM sharp, dressed up, and trying to keep his dignity.
When you first walk on stage, the team snickers a little bit at your costume, but Kuroo was completely enraptured by your singing voice, your blocking, your makeup, everything.
This was much better than the demo CD that they had given you.
Afterwards, he gives you your flowers and is glued to your side for the rest of the night, babbling about how proud he was of you, and how talented you are, Nekoma team be damned.
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Tsukishima Kei
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Tsukki-poo already had a soft spot for the arts before he met you.
Not that he would tell anyone, ever.
When you started dating him though, it gave him an excuse to share his favorite soundtracks.
“you can hit that note, you know.”
*cue the arguing about how you aren’t Barbara Streisand*
When you two are walking through the hallway with him and you see the poster reading “Auditions for Karasuno High School’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ are open!” You start freaking out.
You love that movie! And Kei tolerates it!
Kei honestly thought you would be Ariel/Prince Eric when he first heard you singing “Part of Your World”
Like, you have the voice of a fucking lark. The directors have to be batshit crazy not to cast you.
In his humble opinion.
So he’s a bit taken aback when you get the role of Flounder, but he’s very proud anyways. Especially after you explain that there’s musical numbers that you’re in that aren’t in the movie.
He just hates your director for no reason now.
Practicing your lines with him in your free time becomes almost inevitable because you both have nothing else better to do.
And he can see how into it you are.
And let me just say that you are killing it.
Seriously. You have no problem getting into character, and Kei doesn’t say this much but-
It’s fucking adorable, okay? He has little goth moths in his stomach.
And he can’t wait to see the show, because then he can show you off.
That doesn’t mean he likes the other first years prying at your progress.
Hinata’s incessant questioning about theater anatomy and the memorization of your lines gets really annoying.
Even for someone with a normal temper like you-
“Yes it’s called the right wing. NOT wing spiker. Yes they’re off book. Now will you shut your trap already?”
Dress Rehearsals come, and you’re spinning around his room, face morphing from complete concentration to happy, go-lucky Flounder.
You, Kei, and Yamaguchi (your little third wheel-) all know the soundtrack pretty much up and down, left and right, backwards and inside out.
He still shivers remembering the time you just walked into his house not registering that Flounder’s makeup looks kind of scary up close-
All of his pride was sacrificed that day. All of it.
On the morning of opening night, Kei was walking you to the school, pretending to be bitchy about it being on a Saturday.
“C’mon, what am I supposed to do all day?”
As luck would have it, he’s stuck sitting next to one Hinata Shoyo. Lovely.
So he sat down next to him, and ignored him the whole show. I mean, it worked, he shut up after thirty seconds.
After the show, Kei has to wait a bit for you to take your makeup off, but when you come running out, he can’t hold back a tiny grin.
“That was good. I’m proud of you.”
And then he took you to dinner because singing makes a bad bleep hungry 😌
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Bokuto Kotarou
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Listen, you’re loud, Bokuto’s loud-
So basically you two are on a mission to not annoy Akaashi for as long as you can before inevitably getting yelled at for your affection and love and shit.
Now, both of you would love for this to be possible.
But the Frozen soundtrack makes it too difficult.
Especially when you can edit the lyrics just to piss off Konoha.
“Turn away and slAm the door *on Konoha”
“The wind is howling like the storm inside *of Konoha”
The possibilities are endless, really.
The game changer is when you two are belting out the song where Elsa and Anna are arguing.
And you accidentally hit the “I-i-I CANNNNT”
Akaashi is like for the love of GOD just audition for the play.
He quickly realizes that his suggestion was not a good idea.
Since guess what the musical is.
You’re auditioning as a joke, okay? You love Frozen, but this is a Fukurōdani Academy level play.
You didn’t expect to land the role of Olaf.
Your director sat you down and bluntly told you that he thought that you had the charisma and energy to be Olaf, but he knew that you were auditioning for a joke.
He needed you to be committed.
And hell yeah, you were gonna be committed.
At first, Bokuto was super proud of you! His s/o as a lead role? So impressive!
You even taught Bokuto your choreography for “In Summer”
He only retained half of it, but eh.
He’s a volleyball player. He tried.
As rehearsal times became longer and longer, Bokuto was a little upset at himself because he didn’t realize how committed you were until it hit him in the face.
Akaashi is there to get him out of his funk when you aren’t, though.
“They feel the same way when you need to be in the gym longer. It’s just a part of having a passion. Just utilize your time with them wisely.”
This bitch knows full well Bokuto doesn’t do ‘wise’ though, so he also sets to him a little more.
Dress rehearsals start, and Bokuto is always waiting for you to come out of the auditorium to ride the bus home.
You’re just bubbling over with stories about the magic of being on stage.
The lights, the microphones, the costumes, just talking about it makes you nostalgic already.
On opening night, Bokuto and Akaashi are there in the front row, going through the program.
“There’s y/n!!!!”
And you can’t see him because of the blinding spotlight, but you can hear Bokuto cheering for you after you finish “In Summer”
Afterwards he gives you a big hug, and you guys go home and watch Frozen.
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Akaashi Keiji
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When you start dating Akaashi in your second year at Fukurōdani, you’ve been on stage for the last ten years of your life.
Singing, acting, dancing, you love it all.
You’re even considering making it your career.
Akaashi doesn’t know much about theater at all, but he makes sure to do his research since it’s such a big part of your life.
The company you take acting classes with is having their winter show soon, and you couldn’t be happier when you figure out it’s ‘Into the Woods.’
Akaashi makes the mistake of asking the plot of the story.
“So basically there are these two infertile bakers with dead parents and there’s this witch that’s old and wrinkly and she comes to their house because fifty years ago the bakers dad stole her veggies and took the magic beans that made her look old and wrinkly-“
(A/n: this isn’t even half the plot)
He decides he’ll figure it out when he sees the play.
Akaashi knows that it’s a difficult one, though.
Sondheim doesn’t fuck around.
So you shouldn’t be beating yourself up about cracking on some of the high notes and screaming into your pillow.
He feels like an idiot every time you ask him to give you constructive criticism.
He doesn’t know what to say. “That was good” is obviously not what you want to hear.
When the date of your audition rolls around, he has early morning practice.
So he sends you a text saying how far you’ve come already and he’ll be proud even if you end up being a tree and break a leg (he’s very proud of that part. Theater lingo with Akaashi 101)
He’s very pleased to hear through your extremely fast and animated chattering that you killed it.
You were going to be Jack from “Jack and the Beanstalk.”
He’s still not sure how that correlates with infertile bakers, but he’ll go with it.
You also have a notoriously hard solo, “Giants in the sky.”
Akaashi is very impressed.
All you two do is practice that song, until Akaashi is half sure he could sing the song if he really gave an effort.
(He tries seriously one time. He can’t sing. To save his life. Sorry Keiji and RIP y/n’s ears.)
“Maybe you’re just not a soprano?”
“I’ll leave the limelight to you.”
Rehearsals always leave you drained. There are so many dance numbers in the play that you have to go over.
And songs, oh god, the songs are pieces of work.
But you wouldn’t trade it for the world, so Keiji stays close, and is endlessly supportive.
You sent him a picture of your Jack costume, and Keiji is like that is kind of adorable ngl-
He walks into the auditorium you’re performing in, and even he’s nervous to be in there. It’s huge.
But when you walk on the stage, and start belting, all the breath leaves his lungs.
Oh. Ohhhhhhh. He understands the plot now.
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vicecityhq · 3 years ago
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██████████████]99% loading…suspect into the apd database…
WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: glasses, academia, coffee shops . with a slight resemblance to JEON JUNGKOOK of/the BTS.
CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.
FULL FILE:
last name, first name: lee, david alias: electro realm of birth(if earth, nationality): earth age: 23 date of birth: september 1, 1997 gender: cis-gender male preferred pronouns: he/him, they/them species: cyborg level 1, civilian sexual orientation: questioning
VISUAL FILE:
skin color: light tanned eye color: dark brown, blue tint when using eye enhancemets scars: none reported piercings: both ears tattoos: a simple black star on left wrist hair color: black, dyed a variety of colors at times abnormalities: none reported horns/ wings/ etc: none transformed form: none
PERSONAL FILE:
powers & abilities: enhanced vision, lens screen, vital monitor and data collection, temperature scanning, night vision, light adjustment vision, app synchronization (photo, video recording, downloading) traits: determined, aloof
BACKGROUND CHECK:
date of birth: september 1, 1997
date of death: -
crime record: a clean record
BACKGROUND/BIOGRAPHY:
david was the 2nd born in his family, to a career solider and a
struggling
opera singer. his sister was 1st and her words upon seeing him as a baby was “i’m cuter.”at times he felt neglected given that his sister was getting more attention that him, she was the golden child while he was …david, quiet most of the time but had moments of intense energy. his parents enrolled him a variety of sports which kept him in check. he excelled in martial arts (taekwondo and kumdo) and basketball which was used as leverage to keep in ballet. that was something his mother wanted for both of her children, though he never got a reason why. near the end of elementary school his parent’s divorced and his mother remarried a “rich man”. though he was kind he was very distant to him. his sister however took a liling to increases social status she had.
it was during middle school did david and his sister start to grow apart. sneaking out, skipping class, among other things became his sister’s focus. he had an idea of some things but didn’t speak on them since it would lead to an argument. “boring and straight laced” was what she called him, he and to edge to him. the young boy’s concern was to make in on a national team, it didn’t matter the sport. david used his studies as a shield against the chaos around him, not just at home and school, but the city in general. sometimes it felt like a comic with how crime was almost normalized be it in the background or directly involving you. he kept his circle small and hid most information about himself, his image had to be pure for the scouts and his future career.
given the reputation of his father, david knew military enlistment was the next step college or not. now being in the army was a double edge sword. there wasn’t this pressure to perform like say the marines but he was held to a higher standard. sometimes he was afforded privildges like extra time but also more severe punishments for making the same mistake as others. just going for 2 years wasn’t enough, he was expected to stay for 3. not for his own goals or wants but that of his father. it was during this time did david see that he had lived a rather comfortable life compared to others in his unit, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have any issues. the constant question on his mind was “where do i belong?”.  well the military wasn’t the answer, his discharge date couldn’t come soon enough and when it came, he was already in another system. college.
a bit older and wiser, david could fully focus on his studies (again) something he was happy about and rebuild some parts of his past that he couldn’t while serving. while he is aware his parents expect to major in something like medicine or law, he has no interest in either. his duties to his family and country are complete. it’s for david to live for himself. during his 1st year of college his sister got married much to the joy of his parents. his brother-in-law was “well put together” despite being a little off in his manners. it wasn’t until a few months later did his sister reveal she married a vampire along with hints of her planning to become one. their step-dad was willing to overlook all of his since it met more access to money and power however their mom had reservations. knowing her relationship was rocky with her daughter, she asked david to look after her.
this was 1 of the few times in his life he went against his parents wishes. david had a real chance to be a top athlete and having a gang affiliation wouldn’t help. even if he did have access to money and in some ways protection it was too big of a risk. his sister made her choice to get and stay involved, if she did need help he would but only from her directly. not going through with it put distance between the young man and his mom. maybe it was pressure of college, stress, or still trying to answer the question but david had a chance to “be better” and secretly got an enhancement on his eyes. this afforded him the ability to study in any lighting and pick up on details he would other wise miss. his grade improved greatly but the bigger reward was that his physical fitness was fine tuned to the point he could stay at his peak. with his enhancement he could monitor his calorie intake and vitals, adjust his work out plan so his whole body performing at it’s maximum. this offered him some stability as he had something to thrive for and could take his mind off of the less appealing parts of his life.
INTERVIEW QUESTION (PARA SAMPLE): “JUST RUN US THROUGH WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT”. - OFFICER
he was nervous looking at the “window” of the home unsure if there was others on the other side. running his hand through his hair was a ploy to cover his eye and scan for temperature, a rather unused feature of his eyes. he sighed out of relief not “seeing” anyone though he knew to not let his guard down. again the officer repeated their statement. this time he looked at them directly hands under the table quietly toying with the zipper of his jacket, “i was going home from the library but stopped at the store for a drink.” that was true, it was all true. though now he wished he just went straight home. “but you didn’t see the fight?” the officer raised a brow not totally convinced. “no, i wasn’t focused on that. i heard people yelling but didn’t look that’s how you get jumped. it wasn’t my business so i kept going,” he answered. “uh…david, you’re in school right? what do you want to be?” this sad attempt to relate to him. “that’s really irrelevant to why i’m here, shouldn’t you be talking to them or the store owner? i don’t know why i’m here, when i didn’t do anything.” his words had a hint of annoyance, he wasn’t a child. “you are a witness, maybe not a good one but still one regardless. even if your details are…missing. it’s enough with common sense to help confirm the series of events.” the officer replied, “you may go.” he was didn’t need to be told twice with his bag already on his shoulder and made his way out of the station.
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1ddotdhq · 4 years ago
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🖼 Wed 30 Sept ‘20🤹‍♀️
Remember when I was telling everyone that the Eroda video deserved better? Well someone was listening! Both Adore You (!!!) and Falling have been nominated for the best pop video in the UK Music Video Awards. Harry has also been nominated for the Billboard Chart Achievement award *which is a fan voted award* and voting starts tomorrow, October 1st. You know what to do! In the world of Rock n’ Roll, Stevie Nicks has a new interview out with the LA Times, where she talked, among other things, about wanting to make a movie about “the mythological Celtic deity Rhiannon” - hey, she’s already written a song about it - AND she has finally signed a deal with a studio to make it! This isn’t a Fleetwood Mac blog, I can hear you saying, and you’re RIGHT BUT - she named Harry as her dream cast!! She tells him: “Harry, you cannot age one day. You have to stay exactly as you are.” For you, Stevie, I’m sure he would find a way to do it! She also said that she was “very proud” of him for choosing to be a “rock n’ roll star and not a popstar”. I’m not sure that the Music Award judging panels agree with you there, but we’re all very proud of him regardless of what category his music *technically* fits in. 
Liam’s Esquire interview is out! I have….mixed opinions on it. The article’s narrative was that Liam is a happy man, whose joy shines through his music, and who is inherently confident despite some early childhood setbacks (bullying and illness and deciding to stop running). Liam, for his part, said about his life and his outlook on his future, ““I never expect much, I move within the limitations which I consider useful to find new possibilities. I think it’s important to be aware of what you’re able to accomplish in life, without expecting miracles. Just keep your eyes wide open to enjoy everything in the best way possible”. He says, elsewhere, about meditation that: “It seems to be an amazing way to stay in control. Having a clear mind helps you be quicker and more precise in your daily actions and decisions.” He’s started meditating...for control. Interesting. I don't think that was quite the picture Esquire was trying to paint. 
And, even more interestingly, when talking about his music, Esquire said, “Although it is difficult not to compare the album to those of other members of the band.” and then they quote him in saying, ““When I was in school, I didn’t focus very well in certain classes, I would always learn the general terms of how everything worked,” Payne says on his aptitude for creativity over technical quality.” I’m really trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here, but this feels really backhanded. The kind of music that Liam is doing is inherently - and purposefully - different than the kind of music, say, Niall is doing. They did not talk much about the new direction (ha) his music may be going in, nor about what he’s been working on, career wise. They did call him handsome, and seemed really focused on his physique, which. Yeah! That’s a choice! 
 On a more hopeful note, he says, “Drawing and painting are incredible practices. Exploring those gives me a level of concentration so focused that, if it weren’t for music, I’d probably be doing that…both [art and music] are incredibly freeing to me. Recently, it’s how I’ve kept myself grounded in this new, parallel reality.”
Speaking of Rock n’ Roll, Rock n’ Roll Bride published an article about Krystal (Louis’ makeup artist)’s Rock n’ Roll themed wedding (which took place in 2019! No COVID guidelines broken!) -  complete with pictures of Louis! Well, first off, happy anniversary Krystal and Mike, who have been married for over a year now. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY: we have two pictures of Louis - one at a table, where he seems to be sitting with Oli, Helene, and another woman. Eleanor features in the picture, but after some consideration, it does seem that there was not a place at the table set for her, so she went over to take a picture. You know, as you do at a work function! There was another picture of Louis clapping for the bride and groom at their send off. He’s standing with his hip jutted out in a grey suit with a plain white T-shirt underneath it (I don’t think he has more tattoos, but his eyes are still blue lol). Anyways he looks great and I adore him. 
And now, a brief clown car update: the property broker that Briana started following the other day was Nick’s father, who in turn started following a bunch of Briana and Freddie stans (bc that’s such a normal thing to do!). Nick seems to be going on a lot of 2 on 1 dates with Briana and Freddie over this last week after being called out for not interacting with Freddie at all. To make up for it, he’s been posting to his Instagram nonstop outings, including one video where Freddie seems to be saying, “is Daddy not coming?”. Briana, for her part, ignores him completely and keeps walking, and Nick moves the camera to show the shops they’re passing. Man, for this kid’s sake, I really hope Brett DID join the outing so that SOMEONE was looking out for him, because those two certainly weren’t! 
Meanwhile, Niall took to his Instagram story to promote James Bay’s new song. 
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spade-riddles · 4 years ago
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"Adjusting Expectations" Post
This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.
Anonymous said:
Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.
casuallycruel131313 said:
I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.
@theprologues said:
Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?
rockcrow20 said:
Have to say I also agree with most of this.
I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really
Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)
Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.
I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.
I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.
Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.
original-cypher said:
@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".
rockcrow20 said:
@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!
rainbowdaisy13 said:
This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁
@kellykaylor said:
agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!
roameroo said:
Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.
always-the-last-word said:
Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.
@karlie-what-you-want said:
always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.
always-the-last-word said:
Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.
chosetherose said:
I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.
But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.
I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?
I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.
Anonymous said:
Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.
Anonymous said:
Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠
Anonymous said:
I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.
Anonymous said:
A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕
Anonymous said:
What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.
Anonymous said:
1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.
2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.
3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.
4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.
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maxwell-grant · 4 years ago
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You are your top 5 Shadow agents
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I don’t talk about the Agents as much as I should, even though I constantly try to stress their importance, because I’m working on essays for them individually. To be honest, I think about the Agents practically every day to the point I have a hard time separating my headcanons from the actual canon material, but I have to stay true to it, and the lack of material regarding them means that the only way I can truly talk about their characterization is by diving deep into the novels and taking notes, which I don’t have much time to do, and then finding the right books or moments to talk about, which is even more difficult. 
This by no means constitutes my big thinkpiece on them, but it’s a start, and ultimately narrowing it down was a lot harder than I expected. This order is by no means final, if you asked me this question next week or next month I’d probably have a different answer, but it’s the 5 that I find myself thinking on the most. 
Honorable mentions: Jericho Druke and Myra Reldon, who are incredibly awesome characters conceptually and who have great moments each, and whom I definitely think deserve big turns on the spotlight if the Agents ever get put on the spotlight again, but are held back by issues with their presentation and lack of prominence. Margo Lane, whom only just narrowly missed the cut because, as much as I like her and think she gets an underseved bad rep and definitely has great things going for her, I sadly have to concede isn’t as consistently great or well-written as she should be. Clyde Burke, whom I definitely like a lot based on what I’ve read and consider an integral part of the line-up, but haven’t read enough of the novels he’s in to really solidify him as one of my favorites just yet. And Slade Farrow, who is a bit too complicated to talk about superficially.
Allright, so here they are
Number 5: Burbank
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As the center of all communications within The Shadow’s network and the only character in the series who is even more mysterious and elusive than The Shadow himself, Burbank is fascinating and the kind of character who simultaneously seems to be both begging for an in-depth exploration and yet who also should be dead last on the list of mysteries about the series we want spoiled, because nobody wants the mystery ruined. He’s a bit of cipher personality-wise compared to the other agents, but he kind of has to be, and I think it helps to illustrate the many forms the agents of The Shadow can and should take, that one of them is this total mystery whom we know nothing about and yet is so vital to the whole thing. And it’s interesting also because, for all the many variations we’ve had on The Shadow’s life and thoughts and feelings and etc over the years, Burbank has stayed more or less the same. Whatever variations he’s had in design aside, Burbank just is. 
The pulps did often have moments where we would get to see moments that told us a little more about Burbank, gestures he did, capabilities he had and didn’t have, little details Gibson would sprinkle in to keep people fascinated. Several scenes with Burbank are almost presented like you’re watching a movie, in the way Gibson keeps describing his face being mysteriously blocked from view by objects or lighting, like not even in your mind you are supposed to know what he is. And it’s all the more fascinating because, unlike The Shadow, as far as we know, Burbank is just some guy who’s good with tech, who was only recruited in the 2nd story but apparently knows The Shadow from before it, and whom The Shadow entrusted with virtually every secret necessary to keep his operations running. 
It’s kind of a sign as to how utterly neglected the agents are that, to this day, few writers who’ve ever touched The Shadow has ever come close to giving us any sort of explanation or backstory or anything on Burbank, and I refuse to believe these people had that much self-control. Of course I have my own ideas for Burbank, but even I would hesitate to put them on a story, because Burbank epitomizes that double-edged sword that comes with a solid narrative mystery. Burbank just is, and hopefully he will stay that way. 
Number 4: Dr Roy Tam
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Mention of Dr. Tam meant much to Sayre. He was acquainted with Roy Tam, the Chinese physician. He knew that Tam was a power in Chinatown; one who worked for good
Unrolling a map, Tam showed the entire Manhattan area, studded with tiny dots in districts quite remote from Chinatown.
"These represent my outposts," he said soberly. "They are places, owned by Chinese - restaurants, laundries, curio shops, other places of business. In each of these places, I have a friend."
The Shadow understood. Dr. Tam was the motivating factor among the Chinese who adapted themselves to American ways. His mission was to create good will among races, to put an end to prejudice and superstition.
A newer and more sober spirit had replaced the old and dangerous festivities. Feuds in Chinatown were a thing of the forgotten past. Dr. Tam and his associates had done much to bring about the present sentiment; but there were persons - even among that group - who felt regret at the passing of old traditions.
Dr Tam is a remarkably layered character for one that only appears in about ten stories, and he’s one of the agents I’m most eager to discuss in-depth. He’s another one of those agents that Gibson introduced by tricking you into seeing him as a villain, as a Yellow Peril cliche, until he is revealed to be in fact a good man. Not just good, Roy Tam is presented as a powerful, influential and cunning Chinese man with a lot of assistants secretly working for him, and who is consistently presented as a progressive, pacifistic, benevolent civic leader and ally, even friend, of The Shadow. 
Tam is very much westernized and the stories paint that mostly as a good thing, and this is one of the areas that I think could very much result in an interesting story that looks at the ramifications of his role, because of course not everyone is going to agree with his viewpoints, of course him being an advocate against superstition and tradition isn’t necessarily a good thing (and it’s not how Yat Soon, The Shadow’s other major Chinese ally, works, which puts the two at odds), and of course it’s a complicated situation, but the fact that Tam invites this kind of debate at all I think is something very interesting
Largely because of the movie, Dr Tam is one of the few agents of The Shadow who’s managed to sustain appearences in modern stories, and none of them have ever really went with his original angle as a powerful civic leader. Instead he’s been largely painted as either a scientist, like in the movie, a general practitioner, and a psychiatrist, and his age has been all over the board. 
I prefer him in his original form but I also very much like the idea of Roy Tam being, like the Chinese supervillains he was created to be a subversion of, an incredible genius who’s got skills in all fields that can fit under the “Dr” part of his job and is also an incredibly capable leader able to unify splintered communities under a cause of unity and cooperation, someone who absolutely could be the adventuring genius so many other pulp heroes are, except he dedicates himself wholesale to his community and the fight against prejudice and the betterment of lives, even if he’s misguided or wrong at some of the causes he takes up. I really think this character could partake in really great stories if ever brought back.
Number 3: Cliff Marsland
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(Fan-art by @cryptixcreations)
Cliff may have actually been the first agent I really fell in love with based on concept alone, even before I read the stories he was a part of and started loving all of the others. He’s one of the few agents who has prior history with The Shadow and we get ever so tantalizing hints at his background that we ultimately never get to learn about in full. He’s the resident tough guy and underworld contact of The Shadow, which in any other series might have made him the biggest badass and a loner action hero who’s too cool for things like thinking and relying on others for help. But here, trying to be that only gets Cliff into trouble, and circumstances gradually morph him into the series equivalent of a Team Dad. 
He was one of the agents who we got to see develop as a character. As he appears more frequently past his introduction, he grows from a headstrong, careless jackass, mostly interested in the action parts of the job, who “resigned himself to an adventurous career with violent death as its inevitable termination”, into one of the most reliable and capable agents, taking the lead during action scenes but otherwise fully defering leadership to Harry, and being the agent most likely to partake in gunfights and rescue The Shadow out of trouble, joining in missions like infiltrating circuses or high-society clubs and forming very strong friendships with Harry, Clyde & Hawkeye, who almost kills a man with his bare hands when he thinks Harry’s been killed. He’s the hardass, square-jawed ex-con who plays the reputation of a brutal killer, and is in reality a great friend, ally and husband (Arline has sadly only been mentioned in three stories), on top of being an invaluable fighter and secret agent.
Cliff could have easily been the protagonist of a long-running series all his own and that’s one of my favorite aspects of The Shadow’s agents. They are people with agency, goals and dreams and relationships and lives beyond the roles they play, they all have strengths and weaknesses and faults and positives that bring them much closer to us than The Shadow could ever be, with no end to the variety of roles they can take, and Cliff in particular is a character I’m very attached to. 
I do hope that he eventually found peace in a quiet life with Arline once his business with The Shadow was over.
Number 2: Harry Vincent
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The Shadow as a franchise has been vastly worse off as a result of Harry Vincent being completely sidelined and mischaracterized in virtually every adaptation since, and the sheer love that Shadow fans hold for Harry purely may be the closest thing to a true universal opinion in the fandom. 
Harry is a lot of things: the audience surrogate, the protagonist of much of the early stories, the leader of the agents in field duty, the dude in distress who gets kidnapped far more than even Margo, a hopeless romantic, an action hero, the one who gets sent to recruit agents because all The Shadow has to do is send Harry on an assignment and wait for him to come back with a new friend. He is a competent, resourceful, strong, extremely kind ball of sunshine who's got the potential for greatness, even if he can't see it. 
And for this post I’m going to highlight this: Harry is, on top of all that, the ultimate embodiment of what The Shadow strives to protect, help and uplift. He is the living proof that The Shadow's mission has a good, positive effect in the world, long after criminals are brought to justice and plots are failed and victims are rescued, purely by the fact that he’s alive and helping others who were once like him. Someone who, despite having so much to offer, could have easily been swept away by the world’s callousness and cruelty, if The Shadow wasn’t there to rescue him and uplift him.
I liked The Shadow pretty much at first sight after seeing the character’s design and listening to episodes of the radio show, and my appreciation for the character grew after reading The Shadow’s Shadow, but it wasn’t until I encountered @oldschoolcrimefighters and her brilliantly informative writings on The Shadow and Harry that I not only fell in love with the series, but decided to do everything in my power to try and get other people to love it too and see the potential it has. I think a lot more people should at least be aware of why Harry matters. 
Number 1: Moe Shrevnitz
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I was honestly a bit surprised when I rounded up all of the agents to make this list and Shrevy here ended up in Number One, but in hindsight, it may have been obvious all along. 
My reasonings as to why Shrevy is my favorite agent do get a bit too personal, especially because of something that happened to me as I was writing this post, so I’m putting it on a separate post here. 
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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 4 years ago
Text
Summer Nights: Part 2
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Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Charlie Weasley x Overweight/Plus size Female identifying Reader
Series: Summer Nights
Warning: Fred’s death, the series will mention issues such as guilt, grief, etc. + Chapter specific warnings: physical attraction, gawking, hot Charlie. 
Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff​ (formerly imaginesofeveryfandom)​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​
Summary/Request: You’d always had brief glimpses of Charlie Weasley throughout your life, but despite your closeness with the rest of the Weasley family and your friendship with the Weasley Twins, you had never officially met. Until Charlie Weasley decided to take the summer off from his work as a Dragon Keeper at the Romanian Reserve and come back home, to the Burrow, that is.
Notes: Gif is my own, using my art of Charlie Weasley which you can find on my art blog @artisticwarnug here. If you use please make sure you credit me and my art blog properly, that the ownership is clear as it is my own art and I would hate for it to be unclear that I made it <3 x
Prologue / Part 1
June was looking to be surprisingly warm in England and with that in mind you forwent the usual woollen jumpers of the Weasley clan and instead reached for your summer clothes that had been sat in the back of the wardrobe for many months. Pulling on a pair of denim shorts, the only pair that you’d managed to get to fit given your wide hips (unlike other denim shorts they didn’t gape at the waist much to your joy), and a vest top, before shoving your feet in your worn trainers. Running a brush through your hair you contemplated the changes you’d gone through since Hogwarts.
You were still a large woman, wide hips, soft stomach, big arms, fat rolls, a soft looking face, thick thighs. But, the self-consciousness you’d held during school was almost nonexistent. The energy you used to have was somewhat diminished, you usually had dark circles under your eyes, and a tired sort of look. Your hair was finally how you’d always wanted it, your parents no longer allowed to tell you off for cutting it this way or that or dying it this colour or the other. (Not that changing your hair was particularly hard when you had magic at your disposal). You looked older, that was certainly true, the youthful look had gone slightly and while you still looked young, you certainly looked like the adult that you were. You hadn’t grown any taller since school and for the most part you thought you looked rather the same, just with more confidence in yourself, a generous helping of trauma and heartache and a few years added on. 
Returning the brush to the dresser underneath your mirror, you decided it was probably time to make your way to the little patch of vegetables and fruits that you were charged with watering. 
There was something relaxing about gardening at the Burrow, it took your mind off the war that had been and instead allowed you to ground yourself. The sounds of the birds in the trees, the feel of the warm sun on your skin, the soil beneath your hands and knees. It involved a multitude of sensations which helped focus you, helped you smile, even briefly and reminded you that somethings don’t change. Despite everything the earth was still the same, the birds still sang their songs, the sun still decided to shine. While you had all changed and all been touched, some things were constant. 
You watched George swing a gnome wildly as you filled a watering can, Ron was nearby being bitten by a gnome. Aguamenti came in handy, quickly filling the can. The vegetables were doing well already, despite needing a little weeding and a little watering, the plants looked healthy. You were sure that Mrs Weasley had some sort of secret trick to making them grow so well and so effortlessly.
You started weeding first, despite the warm sun bearing down on you. You found yourself wiping your brow of sweat every few minutes and your skin felt like it was covered in a thin layer of moisture. But, still you persisted. Until you heard George swear loudly. This swearing prompted a series of events which completely distracted you from your gardening. This series of events went something like this; George swore (something about Merlin’s saggy balls), you promptly looked up to make sure he hadn’t been seriously hurt to find he had just been lightly kicked in the shin by a gnome, at the sound of laughter your eyes moved from George to Charlie...and there in laid your distraction.
As has previously been said Charlie Weasley was an incredibly attractive man, but more so when he was shirtless, standing in the sun, with a large smile on his face. It was a beautiful sight. Charlie’s smile was on its own something that made you feel warm inside, like things were okay because he was smiling. But, dear merlin, were you a woman with certain feelings. Charlie was broad shouldered and beautiful, genuinely beautiful.  The magical tattoos that moved across his skin of their own accord, the heavy layer of freckles. The scars that littered his body didn’t detract from the sheer beauty of Charlie, if anything it added to it.They made you more aware of just how resilient and strong Charlie was. You wondered if he could pick you up with those strong arms, what it would be like to be carried by Charlie or simply to be held by him. He looked warm and safe...and delicious. You sighed wistfully as you watched him degnome the garden, your weeding and watering long forgotten.
“You can’t be serious.” You jump with a little squeak (or rather a loud shout) as Ginny pops up right behind you and interrupts your day dreaming. George and Charlie look over at you, from your place in the dirt where you’d fallen in shock, but seemed to decide that you were okay. With a light laugh at your expense they returned to degnoming.
“Ginny!” You hiss at her, “Don’t scare me like that!” You loved the girl dearly, but she knew you were easily scared. Especially after the war. It had heightened your anxiety and hyper awareness.
“I wouldn’t have scared you if you hadn’t been drooling over my brother.” She teases, sitting down next to you in the dirt, “Besides, mum asked me to come help you...I think she noticed you were distracted.”
“Please tell me she didn’t...she’ll be insufferable.” You look towards the Burrow, worried you might see Mrs Weasley eagerly watching you. 
“So you don’t want to date my brother?”
“I...I find him pleasant to look at...is all.” That was a lie and the both of you knew it. You would happily date Charlie Weasley. Not only was he physically very attractive, but he was funny and seemed kind and invested in his career. You just had reservations...after all he worked and lived in Romania and if it all went terribly wrong what would happen with your extended family? Would you no longer be able to spend time with the Weasley’s? What if he wasn’t interested and you simply made everything terribly awkward?
“You know there’s no harm in liking someone, right? It’s not going to kill you to admit you’re attracted to him.”
“It’s more than that, Ginny. It’s more complicated. There’s a million other factors to take into account. We’re not kids in school, Gin...we’re adults and we have our own lives and that’s not even taking into account that just because I think Charlie is handsome doesn’t mean he’s interested in me in the slightest!” You pick at the stones in the vegetable patch, throwing them away, just to give your hands something to do. You can feel the embarrassment rising in you at talking about this with his own sister, your friend. 
“Piss off! As if he wouldn’t be!” 
“Gin, this is the brother that I have been told on numerous occasions will probably remain a bachelor forever. Why would he be interested? I’m a bit of a mess...” Charlie had always been portrayed as a lone wolf, the least likely Weasley to get married, and most likely to die a bachelor. It was hard to imagine he’d suddenly take an interest in a relationship just because you were there. 
“We all are. The war did a number on most of us...but you’re amazing and I know my brother. If he’s not already interested, he will be.” She bumps your shoulder with her own and for a moment she seems like the older one, the wise one...not you. 
The two of you work together on the vegetable patch, talking about other things such as Harry and whether he’ll propose before Ginny does and her contract with the Holly Head Harpies. It’s nice, you think, as you take in a deep breath of fresh air before a cold wet feeling falls over you and you gasp in shock. 
Your hair is dripping, you blink water away from your eyes, your clothing soaked as you look up to see a now empty bucket hovering above your head and a laughing George Weasley doubled over nearby. With a battle cry you run at your best friend and tackle him to the ground, grabbing your wand you cast aguamenti and a stream of water hits him straight in the face. It doesn’t take him long to throw you off and run away, but you watch as Ginny chases after him. Ron is watching with a gnome attached to his leg, his attempts to shake the little thing off don’t seem to be working. In all this excitement you forget that another Weasley was also present...that is until two arms wrap around your thick waist and pull you off the ground.
You barely have enough time to yell “Charlie!” Before a stream of water hits your face. You try not to laugh, lest you choke on the water, but it's hard to do so. Something about this whole situation just seems hilarious to you. Maybe it's your pitiful attempts to get free, not that you were trying especially hard, or maybe it's that it feels like it used to. Like things weren’t different. Like you were all still kids not war weary adults. 
“Charlie!” You push away from him, managing to break free and immediately turn on him wand raised. 
This water fight between you, Charlie, George, and Ginny, with the occasional complaint from Ron as he gets sprayed by water, continued until Mrs Weasley came out of the Burrow.
“Look at the lot of you! Inside, you best get dry and changed before you catch your death!” 
You laugh lightly at the concern on Molly’s face as she ushers you all in with a tea towel in hand, most likely having been making lunch when she saw the lot of you soaked to the bone. 
You look up at Charlie as he bumps your shoulder lightly and smiles down at you as he passes. You sigh lightly as he walks in front of you. It would be rather nice you think...to be Charlie’s girlfriend. Rather nice indeed. 
Ginny giggles as she moves up to next to you, raising her eyebrows and smirking. You simply roll your eyes but can’t keep the smile off your face. Maybe she wasn’t wrong after all...
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denimbex1986 · 4 years ago
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“...how excited are you to finally bring MCU back to everyone’s houses?”
Anthony: “Very excited now. I mean, I think this show, the work that, you know we were able to do, I think it’s gonna change the game as far as what we know as television. I think we’re gonna do to TV what The Wire and Game of Thrones did to TV.”
“..throw in the Game of Thrones references...”
Anthony: “...I never watched Game Of Thrones...”
“...you never watched Game of Thrones?”
Anthony: “Nah...”
“Sebastian, what about you? Game of Thrones fan? You think it’s the same, think it’s gonna be bigger?”
Sebastian: “I’ve seen every episode - twice.”
Anthony: “...my college classmate is a writer/producer on Game of Thrones and I refuse to watch it.”
“Did you, did you tell your roommate that?...”
Anthony: “Yeah I told him, I was like ‘I’m not watching your show.’” 
“Well he needs to watch this show.”
Anthony: “Oh he gonna watch it, definitely.”
“...Sebastian, tell me about the scale and scope when you guys were creating this series; I mean, was it almost like creating a new film every week?”
Sebastian: “A little bit, or just one giant film altogether, you know, spread across six different hours, and trying to figure out how, you know, we’re gonna get to the end of it, essentially - also during a pandemic. But, yeah - it was, it was familiar and then different at the same time. I mean, tone wise, action wise it was very much like the movies and then suddenly we had a lot of these scenes that, you know, where we’re getting to know these characters a little better so, yeah.”
“...it’s cool for us as viewers I think to see your characters and learn a bit more about them, but it’s also kind of cool to see you guys’ bromance like, in front of the screen, instead of just seeing it in interviews...was it nice bringing you guys’ friendship back?”
Anthony: “Oh it was....we work; our characters work really well on screen together. We make fun of each other, we support each other...we give each other notes and figure out what would those moments be, you know, so we have that trust and understanding, and that’s what makes it fun.” 
“...Anthony, I read a really interesting story the other day that said that you actually when you got the call from executives after Endgame, you thought that you were either going to be fired, or get a new show. What was that meeting like?...”
Anthony: “....when they called and they were like ‘Yo, come to LA.’ I was like...’I’m not going to that meeting. Imma get fired. If you’re gonna fire me, I’m going out this building with a bang...there’s no way I’m making it to the lobby without everybody getting smacked up’....I didn’t get fired.”
“...we’re glad that you didn’t...I think there are some people who might expect to see some other Avengers on the series as well...are we gonna see some surprise appearances?”
Sebastian: “You will definitely see some surprise appearances. Obviously they are surprises, which by we can’t talk about them, but yeah, I think it’s nice that you have now this platform to coincide with the movies, and like Kevin said, you know, people are gonna get used to the fact that characters are gonna jump back and forth and all the stories are going to intertwine.”
“...this season we’ve seen a lot of recognition for one of you guys’ former co-stars, Chadwick Boseman...what has t been like to see the recognition he’s gotten...and how would it be if he got nominated for an Oscar posthumously?”  
Anthony: “...Chadwick was always a wonderful human being and a great person. I feel like what he did with Black Panther will never be, you know, questioned, or in any way, shape or form, tarnished, because of the great human being that he was. So...I’m glad that he’s getting his just-due. You know, it’s sad that things like that have to happen for you to be acknowledged....He was at the precipice of everything he could’ve dreamed of in his career. So I’m,I’m glad he was afforded that opportunity; I’m glad his family was able to see him have that opportunity.”
“..Sebastian, I know that there are some rumours that you may be the next Luke Skywalker. Can you put those rumours to rest? What can you tell us?”
Sebastian: “In the words of Chris Evans: ‘news to me.’”
“...there’s been some fan-art that’s like digitally put you like on a poster...a lot of people are committed to wanting you to do this.”
Sebastian: “It’s honestly, it would be, it would be such an honour to, to, to even be considered. You know I, like, you know, Mark, Mark Hamill, who, who I’ve always been a fan, a fan of, and, and God bless him, I think he’s, I think whether he’s wanted to or not, he’s definitely been very kind to, to all these theories and stuff, and it’s nice, but I honestly have any idea...”
“...we’ll continue to hold our collective breaths then...”
Anthony: “I have faith in you. You would be a great Luke Skywalker.”
“See, see Anthony agrees Sebastian - we’ve already got some people on deck...”
Sebastian: “Once you go down that road, ain’t no way back man.”
Anthony: “....if you’re Skywalker, that mean Imma be Lando.”
“...bringing the whole family in! I love it.”
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youcantfiremebecauseiquit · 4 years ago
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idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship
Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.
i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions
So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).
They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke
But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.
RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.
Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.
And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:
Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.
Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.
Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:
„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”
I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension.  As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s
I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.
They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.
Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever
So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him
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blondeheroine · 3 years ago
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Modelling, acting, singing, dancing classes and a hasty divorce to a discouraging husband didn’t pay any immediate dividends, fame-wise, with the budding starlet struggling to make an impact. But then came 1950 and with it All About Eve, a comic role as a dumb blond which Marilyn imbued with a breathy innocence followed by a small but striking role in John Huston’s The Asphalt Jungle. Just as it looked like things were going to finally gong her way, a scandal broke that could have finished career before it even started: some nude photographs were published. Instead of denying it, she admitted the photos were of her but said she’d been broke. Having gained sympathy, the pics also added a sizzle to her future screen presence and it almost caught fire in her role as the femme fatale in the film noir – ‘a raging torrent of passion that even nature can’t control’ – Niagara. Respectable citizens were scandalised by the suggestions of nudity and Marilyn’s smoking presence, but the film was a huge hit.
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Marilyn Monroe
Artwork by Billy The Butcher
With Gentlemen Prefer Blondes in 1953, Marilyn’s screen persona as the dumb blonde was firmly established. And yet Marilyn always added a knowing wit to her comic performances. The whispery ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend’ was a cunning anthem of material ambition from a girl who knew what she had and where she had to go. It would become a performance that would influence decades of a drag queens not to mention Madonna at a key point in her career. Despite her ascension to the heights of Hollywood fame, Marilyn was never comfortable in the studio system. She quickly got a reputation for lateness and delay.
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Marilyn Monroe
Artwork by by Tezarart
Billy Wilder who directed her in The Seven Year Itch and Some Like It Hot would complain that it was like pulling teeth: ‘but when you had it you had something unique.’ Her own insecurities drove her to study her art with a seriousness many of her male colleagues mocked. A headline-pleasing marriage with Joe DiMaggio ended in divorce and Marilyn gravitated towards Marlon Brando and Arthur Miller, who was then under the shadow of the House of Un-American Activities Committee. But Marilyn showed huge courage, spurning the studios advice to stay away from Miller and marrying him.
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Marilyn Monroe
Pop Marilyn by Andy Warhol
Even her problems onset could be seen as Marilyn trying to gain more control over the material that threatened to just stereotype her as another dumb blonde. When Wilder refused to rewrite screens, Marilyn would deliberately spoil the take to get her way. From such creative ferment comes great art and Some Like It Hot has to stand as one of the high points of Hollywood comedy. Monroe’s Sugar Kane isn’t just the butt of jokes, she is the heart of the movie and the bearer of some genuine pathos: ‘I’m tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.’
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The fuzzy end seemed to be all that was left though. Mistreatment by various men who saw her as a kind of sexual version of Everest – including JFK and Frank Sinatra – and the drugs and booze were beginning to take their toll along with growing health problems. Teaming up once more with John Huston – who had directed her all those years ago in The Asphalt Jungle – and scripted by her husband Miller, Marilyn hoped that The Misfits would prove an artistically serious role, a triumphant return. But Huston was distracted by gambling debts, co-star Clark Gable was exhausted and would have a fatal heart attack three days after finishing filming and Marilyn’s marriage to Miller was likewise moribund.
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Despite the problems – or perhaps because of them – The Misfits is an astonishing film. The performances from Gable, Monroe and Eli Wallach are stunning and the film has a gritty reality. The old Hollywood was passing – it was 1961 – and Huston’s film felt more akin to the New Hollywood that was to come. Tragically, at the age of 36 Marilyn took her life. She had made her mark on movies and become as famous as a sex symbol as Charlie Chaplin became famous in comedies or John Wayne in Westerns, but she was more than that. She left behind a handful of great movies, rightfully regarded as classics, as well as a legend of resilience, exploitation and frailty. In a word, she was a star.
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