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ilguna · 2 years ago

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☼ peach lemonade pt1 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; you thought that Finnick was giving you signs that he likes you, especially when he asked if you wanted to get lunch. it's all ruined when he shows up with his girlfriend.

warnings; swearing

wc; 2.7k

part two

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When you had originally opened your bakery, there was a mix of reactions from the people around you. Your parents were supportive, especially since they were the ones that supplied the money and oversaw your plans on how you’d keep it running if they couldn’t support you anymore. They pushed you into baking when they realized you had a talent, and they promised you that they’d be behind you every step of the way.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t their opinions that mattered the most to you. You’d known that they wanted you to go this way since you were young. And even if you decided that baking wasn’t for you, they’d help you go the new direction, too. It’s their unconditional love that makes it hard for their thoughts to matter.

It was your friends that nearly ruined it for you. Almost all of them told you that it would end up being a waste. They fully believed that you should’ve invested your time and wealth into a job that might’ve been more promising, because apparently they could see failure in your future.

It was disappointing to hear negativity come from the people that you trusted the most, considering it was hard enough to put yourself out there. It made you mad for the longest time. You stopped inviting them to your family’s functions, which then turned into no longer speaking to them altogether. The last thing you needed was to keep them around.

You knew why they felt that way: their judgment stemmed from the fact that their parents were district workers, and your family hasn’t worked in generations due to inheritance. The most your parents do now is invest in new businesses and make a small profit off of what the business makes.

It’s really no secret that your family isn’t well-liked by some of the community, despite having several members work for the district. They’re so focused on the fact that some live off the wealth and forget that not everyone born into your family wants to live that way. It can be boring, filling your free time with learning how to play the piano, instead of learning life skills.

You have a lot of respect for those who do work for the district. They’re the whole reason why District Four doesn’t collapse from the inside out. If it weren’t for them, a lot of independent businesses—including your own—would cease to function. Not to mention, there’d be more rules, peacekeepers wandering around, and a curfew.

Well, your friends were wrong. The bakery had enough exposure to the point where it’s been popular since the day it opened. A lot of people preyed on your downfall, but you’d never give them the satisfaction. You aimed to be affordable but still perfectly rich so that low income families could still come and purchase products.

For a lot of these families, it was their first time being able to have bread that wasn’t made from the grain and oil that the district produced in exchange for names in the bowl. Good bread is especially hard to come by for them, considering out of the four bakeries the district had before you opened—none of them allowed opportunity for the poor.

The most important part about the bakery to you is that it keeps your hands busy and bellies full.

And it’s definitely not the fact that it brought Finnick Odair back to you.

You went to the same schools as Finnick growing up, and he got reaped in your guys’ freshman year. You vaguely remember talking to him on a few occasions, but you weren’t actively friends, no matter how much you wished you were. You’ll have to admit that you had a massive crush on him, and you thought you got over it as you got older and stopped being around him.

A couple months ago he came into the bakery for the first time. You were fully prepared for him to not recognize you, it’d been years since the last conversation you had with him. He greeted you by name, though, with this giant smile on his face. Once again, you knew that you were a goner.

Finnick comes in pretty regularly now to sit and talk to you when either of you have the time. He’s busy mentoring and preparing kids for the Hunger Games, and you’re making baked goods from morning to night. It’s never about anything important, just what’s going on in your lives.

You’ll gossip about the latest drama that he’s not in on, but still totally invested in it. And he’ll tell you what it’s like in the Capitol. The types of foods he eats, the clothes they wear, the products they sell. He makes it sound like some fairytale. Recently, he’s convinced himself that your family belongs in the Capitol and it’s a wonder why you didn’t get moved over during the rebellion.

He’s purely thinking about it from wealth-wise, but he neglects to think about the fact that your grandparents denied the offer. They had the chance, and they told the Capitol that they’d rather stay here, where they were born so that they could continue to raise generations in the place they worked so hard to make home.

There’s been a few times where the two of you have gotten so caught up in what you were talking about, and time had flown by. He’s always got something interesting to say, and it’s never a dull moment with him.

He’s actually been coming around a lot more lately to talk to you. He’ll wait around for the store to close and he’ll help you clean, and then walk you back to your neighborhood before going in the other direction. And with how many questions he’s been asking lately, you have a feeling it’s not friendly anymore.

Well, you’re hoping it’s not friendly.

You never thought that you’d like him like this all over again, but it’s impossible when he’s around you all the time. Besides the people you work with, and the other people that regularly come to the bakery, he’s the only one that makes an effort to talk to you outside of work.

You thought that you were going to burst yesterday when he asked if you’d come to lunch today. You try to limit yourself when it comes to taking time away from the bakery, but you couldn’t say no to him.

You push through the clothes in your closet, trying to find something that would be nice to wear. As you step deeper in, you realize that there’s too many options. There’s dresses, shirts, pants, shirts, tank tops. And this doesn’t even consider all the shoes and jewelry you’ve managed to accumulate through gifts.

You pull out a nice lilac dress that would go with the weather today, and could go with most of your silver jewelry. To humor yourself, you pull out what would go with it. The dress, white socks, white tennis shoes. You dig and dig through your jewelry box to find the perfect set.

By the time you’re done, you realize that you basically have your mind set on wearing it. So, you go through the time of pulling on the outfit one piece at a time, waiting to do your makeup to make sure that you look good enough in the mirror. There’s been too many times where you’ve done your makeup around an outfit and changed your mind when you were done. It’s hard to work on a limited color palette.

You let out a breath when you see yourself in the mirror, picturing how you’d do your eyeshadow and eyeliner to follow the color scheme. It’d be beautiful, and you’re sure that Finnick would comment on it…

There’s a gross feeling in your stomach telling you not to go with this. Finnick didn’t say that it was a date, so there’s no point to dress like it is one. What if he takes you the wrong way, like you’re trying to be pushy? The last thing you want is to make him feel weird. He’s already told you that he’s way too popular in the Capitol for his liking. You don’t want to be just another girl.

You press your lips together, and slowly undo the work you’ve done. You set the jewelry aside, hoping that you’ll find a purple shirt and white pants somewhere. You’ve got practically every color of the rainbow, there’s no reason for you not to have it.

Back in the closet, you pick through the hangers, and then the drawers. You’re about to give up when you find a regular shirt that’s the same color as the dress. There’s no white pants, so you settle on light blue, and reassemble your jewelry carefully to make sure it’s not overbearing. The only thing you add on when you’re done is a silver circle belt. It’s not practical, but it definitely adds to your look.

It’s much more simple, and you don’t look as dressed up. With that, you wander off to the bathroom to sit at the counter and do your makeup and hair for the next hour. It’s partially interrupted by your mom coming to check up on you periodically and ask you questions about the bakery.

She tries not to go inside and impede as much as possible, and limits her questions for when you come home. She trusts you, and she knows that if you did actually end up needing help with the bakery, you’d ask for it before it was too late.

When you’re done getting ready, you grab your bag on the way out the door, saying goodbye to your mom. She told you that she was going to call the mayor about some stuff. She blows you a kiss goodbye, you catch it and slide out of the door, closing it carefully.

The walk from your house to the cafe is short. It’s springtime again, which means that it’s getting warmer but it’s not hot enough to make you feel like you’re dying. Around this time every year, you manage to fool yourself into thinking that it’s your favorite season, then the heat hits and you’re miserable.

As soon as you open the door, you know that Finnick isn’t here yet. There’s only two other people, and they’re sitting in a corner talking to each other. The man behind the counter smiles at you, and you smile back.

“Hey, what can I get for you?” He leans on the counter, pen and paper prepared in his hand.

“My friend’s going to be here in a minute, so I’ll take a peach lemonade for now, please.” You smile.

"We make peach lemonade from syrup, is that going to be okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Sounds good, go ahead and pick out a spot, I'll bring it to you." He backs off.

“Thank you.”

You turn, and wander over to the table you normally sit at with your parents. This is one of the only cafe’s on this side of town, which means that it’s typically used as a nighttime restaurant as well. The issue is that they don’t really serve hot foods unless it’s the winter, so it doesn’t feel like it should be used as a nice restaurant.

You sit, and pull out some paper to write on in the meantime. The man from the counter drops off the lemonade a minute later. You figured that you’d show up sooner than Finnick would. Victor’s Village is so far away, and still he chose this place to come to. It is a nice place, he could’ve chosen to have a picnic or something instead. Although, you don’t really take Finnick as a chef. You wouldn’t mind cooking, it’s not like you don’t do it all the time anyway.

Well, baked goods are completely different from actual foods. If you were to have a picnic with him, you’d have to choose cold foods, or food that wouldn’t go back in the time it took you to walk from your house to the picnic spot. You know that whatever you make could never compare to what he’s had in the Capitol. He’s told you that his mouth waters just thinking about some of their dishes.

Fruits and vegetables that even your family would struggle to get, are ready at their fingertips in the Capitol. Oranges, peaches, raspberries, strawberries—all delicacies that are gotten on special occasions. It would have to be a first birthday, a funeral or a wedding in order for those fruits to be served. And they’d have to be made into a fancy dish, since they’re fancy fruits.

Sometimes Finnick makes you jealous without meaning to. You don’t envy how he got reaped to be in the Hunger Games, because you’re grateful you managed to avoid it. But you think that you’d give anything to eat a dish made from the Capitol. Anything.

The door chimes, you finish what you’re writing before tearing your eyes from the paper to see who it is. You’re met with familiar curled bronze hair and a white smile. Finnick’s got his body turned to hold open the door for a young woman with long brown hair.

You fold the papers and place them back into your bag, getting to your feet to greet Finnick. When you look at him again, you see that he’s got his arm wrapped around the girl's waist. You can feel your eye twitch on its own free will. You blink to prevent it from happening again.

“Hey… Finnick.” You force a smile, eyebrows drawn together as you look them over.

“(Y/n), sorry we’re so late, we had an errand to run on the way.” He pulls out a chair for the girl, “Annie, this is my friend (Y/n), from the bakery. And (Y/n), this is my girlfriend Annie.”

Your face almost falls completely at his words, but you manage to catch it. You hold out your hand to shake hers. She gives you a shy smile, taking your hand and gripping lightly, “Nice to meet you. Finnick’s told me so much about you.”

“All good things I hope.” You smile a little more, trying to be convincing.

However, when you look at Finnick, you can feel it fading again. There’s no way that this is happening right now—that this is happening to you. You didn’t think that he had a girlfriend, he’s never mentioned her in conversation before. After eight months of coming in and staying late to talk to you and walk you home, he’s never mentioned Annie.

It must’ve been on purpose, because you wouldn’t have neglected to mention something so important. You thought that the two of you were, at the very least, friends. He hasn’t brought her around—you don’t even think you’ve seen her on the street. You would’ve noticed otherwise, you’re sure of it.

You look over Annie again, and realize that she looks strikingly familiar.

“I see you’ve got something.” Finnick motions to your lemonade, you have to turn your head to look at him, “Did you close the check?”

“No, it’s an open check, feel free to get whatever you like. Lunch is on me.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Annie smiles, “I’m hungry, aren’t you too, Finnick?”

“Yeah. We’ll be right back, (Y/n).”

“Sure.” You nod.

As soon as they turn their backs to you, you’re blinking away the tears that’re building in your eyes. You won’t cry over Finnick. You haven’t before, and you’re not going to start now. It’s not worth it. You two are just friends.

You rub the corner of your eye with your fingers, feeling the tears leak out. You grit your teeth, forcing yourself to take deep breaths. You think you recognize Annie now—she only shows up once a year, and it’s at the reaping. She’s the one that won a couple of years ago.

Finnick’s dating Annie Cresta, and how he neglected to let you in on that is beyond you.

You stand up from the table, heading toward the bathroom in the back. It’s single-stall only, so you know neither of them will be able to follow you. On the way, you pause long enough to let them know that you’ll be right back, that you have something in your eye.

The moment that the door swings shut behind you, the tears you’ve been battling win the fight.

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair x yn #trying out some new tags lol #thg #the hunger games #angst #requested

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 8 months ago

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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

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