#trust me i do see and appreciate all of them i just am um. the opposite of social skills

[sp1resong]

send me ask's :teehee:

[astralaffairs]

hi!! before i go i jus wanna say, I love your work 🙏🏽 and I finally watch hamilton last night so I might write for it as well 😋😋 but i have a drabble idea.

anyways— thomas having a dance/ball for a campaign during the election and he meets aaron’s little sister, mc, who snuck in. and he can’t help but take interests in her.

“Now, what’s a lady like you doin’ getting a drink just for yourself? Nobody’s offered to do that for you yet?”

Y/N froze as her fingers met the stem of the champagne flute. She had promised herself she would stay to the outskirts of the ball, and her only goal for the night had been to avoid courting attention. However, the packed room was warm, and it was only more so at its perimeter under the lights, and the crisp bubbly had looked oh-so-inviting.

She turned with a polite smile as she picked up the glass, but her eyes widened when she saw the man behind her with his gleaming smile and his velvet suit. She recognized him instantly; after all, she’d seen him before, and he’d even been in her home, but they’d never formally met. He raised an eyebrow when her smile faltered. “I’ve only just arrived. I haven’t had a chance to speak to much of anyone just yet.”

“Then I’m gonna have to count myself lucky to have found you when I did. Thomas Jefferson.” He offered her a hand as he introduced himself, and when she took it, he dipped down to press a soft kiss to her knuckles. Her eyes went even wider.

She cleared her throat as he drew himself back up to his full height, still holding her by the fingertips, and it took a moment for it to occur to her to withdraw her hand. “You’re the host of this ball, then, if I’m not mistaken. Thank you for opening your home to us like this.”

“Believe me, sugar, the pleasure’s all mine,” he said. “Who’re you here with? Feel like I’ve seen you around, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Oh, um, my family’s here somewhere. I came on my own, though, and I was planning to meet them here.”

“Your family?” He pursed his lips. “You’re not a Schuyler, are you?”

“No, no, certainly not,” she replied before hastily adding, “although the Schuylers are lovely people, of course. To be a part of their family would make one lucky.”

“So you know the Schuylers, then?” he mused, and she nodded. His growing smile was making her mouth go dry. “I know where I recognize you from; you’re a Burr, aren’t you? Aaron’s sister?”

“I am, yes.” Her smile was tense, laced with unease. His grin was bright as he plucked a drink for himself off of the table behind them.

“So why haven’t I seen you at one of these before? Your family trying to keep you locked away from all the politics?” he asked, and as her eyebrows fell, he could see the look in her eyes sour.

“They’ve decided I can’t be trusted at this kind of event,” she said bitterly, and he quirked a brow. “Aaron claims he’s afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and jeopardize his career, but really, I think he just can’t deal with the idea of splitting people’s attention between us.”

“But you finally proved yourself trustworthy?” he asked mildly, taking a sip of his drink, and she shrugged uncomfortably.

“I suppose so.”

“Then where’s your dear brother now, hm? Why aren’t you here with the rest of your family?” He watched her expectantly, and when she didn’t answer right away, his grin broadened. “They don’t even know you’re here, do they?”

“No, and you’re not going to be the one to tell them,” she said sharply, pointing her champagne flute at him. He raised his eyebrows, amused by the fervor in her tone. “I had to walk miles alone in the dark to get here; I am not being thrown out as soon as I arrive.”

“Well, sweetheart, if you’re not with them, then really, I should be sendin’ you on your way.” Despite the threat, his voice was breezy, and she frowned.

“And what do you have to gain from kicking me out?”

“The respect and appreciation of your family,” he suggested blithely. “The knowledge that I’m not leavin’ a young lady to walk home alone ‘n vulnerable at the end of the night. ‘S just the right thing to do, really.”

She eyed his small smile for a moment before slowly asking, “But despite that, you’d rather I stay, wouldn’t you?” He shrugged unabashedly. “You’re quite shameless, aren’t you, Mr. Jefferson?”

“Only on a good day.” He winked as he took a sip of his drink. “After all, you went through all that effort to get here. There’s gotta be a good reason for it, huh?”

“Of course. I’m here to expand my mind just like everyone else," she said, and he raised an eyebrow.

“And not for the charming future president we’ve got roaming the ball?”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware there was one. Let me know if you see him?”

His full laugh proved him undeterred, and Y/N’s self-satisfied smile was reluctant. "'M glad to see you inherited more of the family wit than your brother seemed to."

"Please, don't tell him that. A lady needs to keep some things a secret."

"It'll stay between us, then," Thomas said, "but I don't think I ever got your name."

"Why, so you know whose presence to report to my brother?"

"So I know who to ask after the next time I see him." His response was quick, and it had Y/N on her heels. Her eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, but when she opened her mouth to answer—

"Y/N." Both she and Thomas turned on their heels at the loud voice to find her brother striding across the room toward them, and her groan was unchecked. The fury in Aaron's voice was barely contained. "What in the world do you think you're possibly doing here, sneaking out after dark? How did you even get here?"

"I brought myself, since nobody else was willing to take me," she bit back, and Thomas raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

"That wasn't your decision to make," Aaron snapped. "We are a family, and you have to respect that—"

"Respect what? That you have total control over my life in the name of family values? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" she asked. "I respect that you have a career and a reputation to maintain, but I am a person, and—"

"And nothing, Y/N. Put the drink down, and leave Mr. Jefferson at peace," he demanded, and Y/N narrowed her eyes, her jaw set. Aaron turned to Thomas, and much of the fire in his voice had subsided when he said, "I'm sorry for her intrusion, Thomas. We didn't know she had followed us here, and we'll send her home at once."

"Now, Aaron, what makes you think she's uninvited company?" Thomas asked, and both Y/N's and Aaron's brows were raised. "Y/N's my guest here this evening; 's the opposite of an intrusion."

He frowned, glancing between Thomas and Y/N. "You mean you're responsible for her presence here tonight?"

"Well, I invited her, so I suppose you could say that," he said casually, and if he winked when he caught Y/N's eye, Aaron didn't think anything of it. Aaron's lips were pursed and his shoulders tense as he glanced between them.

"Why didn't you tell me Thomas had invited you?" he asked Y/N, and she shrugged.

"I didn't think you'd want to hear it, and I didn't want you trying to prevent me from coming."

"If I'd known he asked you to come—"

"So, what, my personhood is dependent on his permission now?"

"Your presence here is, at least."

"As a Burr, I would've been welcome either way."

"Not unattended, however."

"I can attend to myself just fine."

"You know that isn't what I mean when—"

"Aaron, was there somethin' else you needed?" Thomas cut him off, and Aaron's gaze was affronted when it snapped to him. However, he held his tongue. "I was just about to ask Y/N to dance, assuming that's her decision to make 'n all."

Y/N had to bite back her smile at his words, and although Aaron seemed to recognize the challenge in them as his jaw ticked, he said, "Of course. I'm sorry to have interrupted."

"Don't sweat it. Your concern for your sister is awful sweet, even if it isn't needed here," Thomas responded, his smile warm.

"'Concern' isn't how I'd describe it," Y/N muttered bitterly, and Thomas nudged her with his elbow. She frowned.

"Carry on 'n enjoy the rest of the ball, though, and please send my best to your wife," he said. Aaron could only offer a tense smile in response.

“You as well. I suppose I should go find Theodosia.” He looked down skeptically at Y/N. “How are you planning to get home?”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I…” She hadn’t thought that far, so her gaze was hopeful when it snapped to Thomas, who held her with a hand at the small of her back.

“I’ll arrange for a carriage to take her home,” he promised. “Don’t you worry, Burr. She’s in safe hands.”

“Right,” he said hesitantly, looking Thomas over. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t do anything stupid, Jefferson.”

“‘S like you don’t even know who you’re talkin’ to,” Thomas said incredulously, and Aaron scoffed.

“I’m sure.” He barely spared them both another glance before departing unceremoniously, shaking his head all the while, and Thomas chuckled. Y/N turned back toward him.

“You’re a regular local hero,” she said sardonically, but the smile in her eyes betrayed her bored tone. Thomas grinned.

“I do try, sweetheart,” he said lightly, “maybe even in a way that deserves a ‘thank you’?”

“Thank you.” Her voice was sincere. “Really. I owe you.”

“Well, if you mean that,” he said, and his eyes were shining as he looked down at her, “I wouldn’t mind making good on that dance I mentioned. Unless you’re in a real rush to get back to your dear old brother.”

He offered her his arm with an eyebrow raised, and she left her empty glass on the table behind them when she took it, drawing a wide grin from him. “How could I say no to our charming host?"

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Precaution

Moon boys x afab!reader

Wanna get tagged?

Summary: You feel like starting to get sick. The boys take action.

Content: Marc being Marc, Jake feeds reader at first, wholesome.

A/n: Felt like getting a cold couple days ago but it turned out to be nothing but a stuffed nose and some sneezing. Welp.

You woke up with a throat drier than sand, a full nose and feet as cold as ice.

Steven was sleeping perfectly fine next to you with his face buried in his pillow.

As bad as you wanted to just shove your feet into Steven's blanket, your dry throat made you want to drink liters of water.

With a soft groan, popping your bones and putting socks on, you got up and headed into the kitchen.

The clock along your way showed 2:45 AM. An ungodly time for an ungodly feeling.

In the kitchen the first thing you did was downing two and a half glasses of water.

Your throat was feeling so much better with all the water, but your nose was still stuffed so you grabbed some tissue and took care of it.

Both nostrils breathing in fresh air. The best feeling.

Just a second later you heard the soft padding of feet approaching the kitchen.

When he came into view, he was rubbing his eyes.

"Hi luv." Steven spoke up with a sleepy voice.

"Hi." you smiled.

Steven went to the fridge, opening it and grabbing the milk. "It's like 3 AM, can't sleep?" he asked, pouring milk in a glass and putting it back in the fridge.

You shrugged, "Woke up with a dry throat."

Steven eyed you with worry, sipping on his milk. "Don't catch a cold now."

You gave a smile. "Nope."

"Did you open the window again? Maybe that's why."

"Yeah... but only for five minutes... well, until I fell asleep." you admit sheepishly.

Steven shot a lazy smirk. "Oh wow."

You shrug. "Anyways, I'm heading back to sleep, you coming?"

He nodded, putting the glass down and followed you back into bed.

"See you in the mornin' love." he smiled, giving you a peck on the cheek before he fell asleep.

You moved closer to him, feeling how so much warmer he is compared to your blanket.

A cheeky smile tugged on your lips, your ice cold feet inching closer into his blanket, immediately feeling his heat.

Wanting more heat, you slipped both feet inside, brushing them against his feet.

He jumped at the cold feeling. "What's that thing!?" it wasn't Steven anymore, instead it was Marc now.

You snort. "That thing is my feet."

Marc turned to face you. "Shit, you're really catching a cold, huh?"

"No, my feet are just cold!" you argue, slipping your feet under Marc's.

Marc pulled his covers up and reached out to pull you close, bringing the covers back down over you. "Fine, let me warm you up."

You immediately melt into the heat he provided. "Much better, thanks."

He pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you. "You know, you could have asked." he chuckled.

In mere seconds you were out cold thanks to the warmth.

Couple hours later you woke up to an empty bed. Feeling refreshed, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and sitting up.

The smell of vegetables was in the air, some herbs and even chicken.

Then the door opened and Jake came in.

"Ooh, getting sick now, sweetheart?"

You blinked confused at him. "Um? No?"

"Dry throat, stuffed nose and cold feet are a mean sign of catching a cold."

"But I'm feeling perfectly fine.."

Jake grins. "Until it comes back with a smack."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

He shrugged. "Precautions, sweetheart."

You smile. "Jake, I appreciate your offer but really, I'm feeling good." you said softly.

"No no no, you will thank us for it, trust me." Jake insisted.

Your nose was stuffed some more. "Pwease, don't work your asses off just because of me." you sniffled.

Jake grins again. "Mi amor, when our girl gets sick we of course do everything we can to get her well fast."

You sniffled again, pouting at him.

"Ay, we're just trying to prevent you from getting sick." Jake walked over to you to pinch your side playfully.

"Jake!" you threw an exaggerated pout, watching Jake proceeding to the door.

"You wait here, we bring everything when it's done!" he smirks over his shoulder before disappearing again.

About 10 minutes later, Jake returned with a plate of soup and steaming tea.

"Sit up sweetheart, you're getting fed." Jake smiled, putting the plate down on the nightstand, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Jake please, I feel awful with you pampering me." you chuckle.

"Ah-ah. No complaints." Jake playfully wagged his finger.

You sat up against the headboard. "The soup smells delicious." you smile.

Jake spooned up some soup, blowing a bit and moved it close to your lips. "Marc and I made the soup." Jake smirked.

Parting your lips, you leaned in a bit, allowing Jake to guide the spoon into your mouth. "You and Marc are a dangerous compilation." you chuckle as Jake moved the spoon out.

The herbs mixed with the vegetables hit your tastebuds, the chicken lingering in your mouth after swallowing.

Jake chuckles, "But it's good, huh?" he got another spoonful of soup to your lips.

"Delicious." you parted your lips, letting Jake feed you.

"Oh and Steven made the tea. Green tea." he grins, pulling the spoon out, spooning up soup again.

You made a face and parted your lips. "Ugh, green tea."

"Don't worry, he put honey in it so it won't taste that gross." he fed you again, then put the spoon down and got up.

"Now, eat that soup and drink the tea. And don't fool us, or you will get sick." Jake smiled, flicking your nose then left the room.

You ate the soup in peace, feeling warmed up well and full.

Later, Steven checked in on you, seeing the soup and tea already empty.

"All done, luv?" he smiled widely.

Nodding, you pulled the covers up your chin. "Yes, I already feel better, thanks." you smiled contently.

"That's wonderful. Now since you're feeling better, how 'bout we just lounge around on the couch, watch your favorite show?"

"Can we rewatch The Mandalorian?" you grin.

"Of course." Steven smiled.

You followed him into the living room, sitting down while Steven went into the kitchen.

When he came back, he brought some snacks and set everything up.

You immediately knew Marc was back.

He flipped the remote control in his hands as if it was a blaster, doing the same pose and motion of Mando shooting.

"Alright, who's ready for some Mando action?"

---------------------------

Taglist: @nekoyin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[matchalovertrait]

Me??????

Thank you to everyone who tagged me for the simblr appreciation 💗 That was @bouncytrait, @elderwisp, @catsinmugs, @bloomingkyras, @woohoojuicesimoleons2,

@spotlessssmiind, and @smulie :)

I am so happy you thought of me and I love your blogs too!!

I’d like to tag everyone, but I can’t do that. However, I can acknowledge all of you whose posts I come across every day! I make sure to hit the like button to let you know that there’s someone here waiting for your next post. If I haven’t been liking recent posts, it’s because I’m reading your story from the beginning. I’m an awfully slow reader, so my apologies. I like to take my time and not rush through the stories to ensure I understand everything and take in all the small details.

Also, I know it can be easy to become disillusioned on here but trust me, there are a lot of incredible people. I see them every day on my dash.

I’ll mention some of my friends here who inspire me. Um, it's kinda long:

@changingplumbob: I don’t know how she balances so many projects at once and does it all with love! Each one of her characters is unique and steals the spotlight. When it comes to her posts, I'm either philosophizing or laughing. It's also admirable how much research she puts into the stories she writes. You can definitely tell!

@deardiaryts4: I love people who do extra things for their sims just like me LOL. She doesn’t have to make a music video or album cover CC. Nor does she have to create actual code for us to solve a mystery, but she does it anyway because she's passionate! She gives it 110% every time with her intriguing story and gameplay.

@ruthplaysthesims goes DEEEEPP into the lore! Blink and you'll miss it. She also has an impressive cast of characters. There are many mysteries in her stories that I am itching to have the answers to. I need to see/know!!!

@abbysimsfun OMG I absolutely love her style of writing, which became a recent influence over my own. She's also a fellow fan and user of Chekhov's guns (I know the name of that literary device now because of her hehehe. No, no actual guns here!). I am captivated by the storytelling!

@dreamyyesenia is so incredibly sweet! She also takes her sims' personalities and interests very seriously and creates the perfect homes/wardrobes for them. She's a master at it and I'm taking notes.

@authorspirit: Her builds are absolutely fantastic. Joy is a smart cookie and she does everything with precision. I really like the chic and regal aesthetic in her posts too. Quite demure

@sharona-sims is my slice-of-life queen!!!! She seems apologetic for the "slow pace" of her gameplay, but I don't mind it one bit. I could keep up with Lily and Michael for the rest of my life, idc, I love them.

@teadreamsims is immensely creative and a great storyteller. I always forget they play on console. That just shows how important imagination is. The gameplay with Fern and the rotational gameplay with the townies happened ages ago but they live in my head rentfree.

@aurorangen: Details details details!!!!! I eat it all up and Rory always gives us extra insight and behind-the-scenes stuff. She's talented in both writing and telling her stories through pictures. And her builds are insane.

@cakepoppresent: Nahhhhh cuz the drama and the wholesomeness, omg. I like how we explore different groups of characters at a time and it never seems like too much. And her videos are everything.

@miralure is on hiatus sadly :( But she definitely left her mark, I never forget her. When I came back to Simblr, I had no idea a lot of people saw commenting as an "embarrassing" thing? She was very welcoming and her mindset is the one I've been following ever since. Because of her, I'm often all up in your guys's comments like nothing lmao. Anyway, her lookbooks were perfection as well as her male sims. Amazing.

@windslar also seems to be on hiatus :( I admire the way she composes her dialogue posts through photos and I've been trying to do it as well as she does. The facial expressions, the angles, etc! It's cinematic.

@cinamun: I don't even have to explain, but I will anyway. The drama, the real-life-issues, the gifs, the heartfelt moments, the plot twists, the in-depth characters, the lore, the background, the wardrobes. Phenomenal work!

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Entry 12: Flower Petals

Bearblr Promptober Day 12: Blindfolds

Summary: In which Carmy's girlfriend suggests a blindfold to see if he can perceive better touch that way.

Warnings: Swearing, written with fem reader who is a trauma surgeon (nothing gross described) in mind, she/her pronouns, blindfolding, nervous bean Carmy, fluff.

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Reblogs appreciated. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list.

12 Oct 2024 Learned a new thing: I love blindfolds.

I can’t feel all that well with my hands, right? Well, with my fingers, which doesn’t help too much when I’m feeling up Darling. It’s been affecting me more than I thought it was, made especially apparent since I noticed the discrepancy in sensation, somehow even more so since she’s been getting handsier with me. She’s found the spots that make my muscles unfurl, the ones that make me melt into a boneless heap on the couch, and the ones that make me go bright red in the face. She’s found the ones that soothe her to touch—ghosting her thumb over my knuckles, twirling a lock of my hair around her finger, a recent favorite of hers seems to be slipping her thumb or fingers into my mouth (yes, it fucks me up. No, that’s not what this is about).

Meanwhile, I run my fingers through her hair, and it just doesn’t really feel right? Like, I feel something, of course, but it’s dull, and I want more to squeeze a fistful of the strands, to dig my thumb into the sections of her braid so I can actually feel any of it.

So, she suggests I try blindfolding myself.

“Why would I want to do that?” Shit, that sounded terrified. “Uh, I-I just want to understand your reasoning.”

“Are you nervous, baby?” she asked, settling on the edge of the bed next to me.

Of course, she caught it.

I raked my hair back. “Uh, yeah? I guess? I, uh…” No, I’m not getting locked up again, even if my face started going warm. “Tell-tell me more about it.”

She folded her thin, green scarf into a narrow strip in her lap. “Well, when you don’t have information from your eyes to rely on, your brain has to rely on information from other places. Sometimes, it can make you perceive other sensory input better. You might be able to learn how to focus on what you feel more so that you can then do that without having to use an actual blindfold.”

“Why can’t I just close my eyes?”

She shrugged a shoulder. “I suppose you can, but the blindfold is a signal to your brain that your eyes can’t be used for a while. Trust me, if you can, you will open your eyes and just look.”

I suppressed a smirk. “You’ve done this before.”

She nodded.

“Okay.” I folded one leg up on the bed so I could turn towards her.

“We should have a safe word. Something that will come to mind and that signals to me that you immediately need this to stop.”

“Why not ‘stop?’” I felt stupid asking, but I knew she wouldn’t laugh at me.

“Um. There are reasons, but we’re going to get really off topic really fast if I get into them.”

“Will you explain them after?”

“Sure.”

“Nickel.”

She tilted her head.

“Nickel. ‘If I had a nickel…’ Don’t ask me why it doesn’t leave my head, I have no idea.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Is that like… a song…?”

“I-I honestly don’t know where I got it from.”

“Okay. Nickel.” She smiled. Cradled my face in her hand. “Come on. We should be comfy for this.”

We settled into bed on our usual sides, just my little lamp on to provide some light, should I need the blindfold off in a hurry. My heart thundered in my ribcage. Breaths came out truncated. I wouldn’t be restrained, I could get the thing off immediately, and she’d seen all of me before—in every sense of the word. She’d seen me be sick, writhe in pain in my sleep, kick the covers in the throes of nightmares, melt into a useless puddle when she pressed ice to my chest, sleepily babble nonsense to her when I woke up at 2 am unable to go back to sleep, walk in circles in the living room for an hour because I couldn’t stop thinking and my legs wouldn’t stop moving; she’d seen everything. But I didn’t even know what I should expect out of myself when I was blindfolded, so could I expect the same loving understanding from her? Thinking back on it now, yeah, I should’ve. But in the moment? In the moment, it scared the fuck out of me.

“Close your eyes, sweetheart,” she whispered.

I did, and the soft fabric of her scarf laid over my eyes. She tied it behind my head, snug enough not to slip off. It honestly soothed some of the mild headache I didn’t know I had. This weird tightness behind my eyes and in my temples. She slid her hands down to my neck, stroked my jaw with her thumbs. Kissed my forehead.

She placed my hand on her outstretched one, and pretty instantly, I could tell my sense of touch was different. I traced lines in her palm, felt tendons tighten under her skin when I flattened her fingers, found a little scar on the furthest knuckle of her thumb. Raised line, glassy smooth, disappeared when she bent the joint. I’d never noticed that her nailbeds were shorter than mine, that her fingernails had the smallest ridges when I rubbed across them.

“My pulse is here,” she whispered, directing my index and middle finger into a soft valley between two bands of tendon—one tight, thin, fine, like a guitar string, and the other thicker, more substantial, more like a pencil. I picked up a pulse. Fast. Faster than her heart beats when I lay my head on her chest as we doze off.

“Nervous?” I asked.

“No.” She was right about the blindfold being necessary because I wanted nothing more than to see her face, read her eyes. “No, um. It feels really good.”

I trailed my hand up her arm, noticed the little hairs on it that I hadn’t before. Found my way to the strap of her tank top—no bra, good foresight—then to the ridge of her collarbone. Her skin was so soft, still like it was made of fine materials, but because my mouth had done the exploring there before, I knew I couldn’t feel how supple it actually was with my fingers. The best I got was an approximation of soft, and that—it astounds me how fast this happened—abruptly wasn’t enough.

I caged her in my arms and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her collarbone.

“Oh.” She coiled her arms around my shoulders, wove her fingers into my hair. Pressed closer.

Feeling her with my mouth I’d done countless times, but the blindfold. The blindfold did something impossible—it made her skin seem even softer. That velvety, almost cool-to-the-touch texture of a fresh rose petal, one that threatens to disintegrate between your fingers, that you could lay on your tongue and imagine dissolving into sweetness. Forget feeling with my hands, I needed to taste her, every bit of her, to get lost in blooms of flower petals wherever my lips and tongue pressed. I lifted her tank top off and kissed my way down her full breast, dragged my tongue over a hardened nub, and the breathless gasp that caught in her throat, the way her fingernails dug into the back of my shoulder and my scalp—it was the entire universe.

“Carmy—oh fuck—Carmy? Baby?” She whimpered, voice half-strangled.

I managed a hum of acknowledgement.

“Please keep—Oh… That…”

I’d already begun kissing down her stomach while retreating under the covers.

[tachimichishrine]

i’ve found someone who writes for tachi?? omg?? you’re writing is so amazing i love it! can i req an x reader where she’s like chuuya’s subordinate in the pm so she’s higher ranking than tachihara but takes an interest in him bc, hello?? who wouldn’t? so she starts to play specific moves that draw them closer together (ngl im thinking mastermind by taylor swift if yk the song) and when they’re finally dating he confesses that he knew what she was doing the whole time? aka intelligent slightly manipulative reader thinking she’s being slick abt it. thank youu!

<welcome to the corner of tumblr where we worship tachi and have no shame about it !!!!!!!!!!! OH FUCK YEAH I love this ask I love the idea and I love you, i've never heard that song before but woah it got my brain juices flowing, sorry it took centuries but here you go luv ♡>

"mastermind"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! chuuya's subordinate! reader

warnings: mention of drugs/alcohol and drink spiking (dont try this at home kids) ; a little bit of gore/torture but it's one sentence ; for some reason there are some elements of kind of sort of yandere!reader that just manifested themselves grgrgr but barely i promiseee ; fluff + plot ; cursing n intended lowercase

it was the middle of the night, and your phone wouldn't stop ringing. you tried snoozing it, turning it on silent but it would keep vibrating on the night table aggressively. against your better judgement, you picked it up and took a look at the caller id.

"boss man ��🧍"

well, you couldn't ignore that.

"what the fuck do you want you short little shit, it's 2 in the fucking morning," you grumbled, then cleared your throat before actually pressing the green icon to pick up the line. "hello, boss. is there anything I can-"

"cut the bull, where the hell are you?"

"um, at home? sleeping?" you raised a brow that he couldn't see. "am I supposed to be somewhere?"

"you- forget about it. just get here, now."

now, he was really getting on your nerves. "get where? I can't read your mind, boss, what-"

he hung up.

you didn't have a problem with chuuya in general; he was a decent guy, sometimes. you got assigned to work under him in the fallout of his partner, the famed demon prodigy, disappearing. of course, he didn't want anything to do with you at first, and you would've felt the same if mori wasn't breathing down your neck to keep on it. so, you kept showing up on his missions a few minutes before he arrived, the information already extracted or people already beat to a pulp.

he still wouldn't budge, so you had enough of working so hard just to be his subordinate and exploded at him one day. he could barely get a word in as you yelled loudly and ranted about his inability to accept help. while he was speechless in the aftermath, you just sighed tiredly, handed him your phone number and said that you weren't going away anytime soon and you'd appreciate it if he would just let you work for him already. time passed and eventually you got his trust.

what you didn't get, however, was an explanation for why you were rushing to slide into clothing fit for the outside world and making your way to the port mafia headquarters. it was the only place he could mean, so you ran over there with guns strapped to your thighs and safety off. you had to plan for whatever the hell might've been going on, but all you saw was a nearly empty lobby.

you cursed under your breath, irritated that you busted your ass for no reason. from the corner of your eye, you found a familiar face and approached him.

"hirotsu," you walked over with a pissed expression, "do you know where chuuya is?"

"oh, chuuya isn't here. he told me he'd be sending someone to deal with it," he said following a polite nod of the head. "he needed the black lizard to perform a mission, but he's unavailable tonight. so, he said that he'd send you."

"he's unavailable?" your eyes nearly bulged straight out of your skull, but you caught the slight squint in his face. "oh. he's drunk out of his mind, isn't he?"

hirotsu nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so. mori only gave him this assignment tonight, and he was already intoxicated when he got the call. I was with him when it happened, so I suggested he call you."

"oh, he so owes me one after tonight," you chuckled, less angry now that you realized he was probably just collapsed on his couch at home and will have the worst hangover the next morning, which you could easily mock him for. well, at least that brightened your mood a little, aside from seeing the black lizard in action. you'd heard of them, ordered massacres through hirotsu but never been there to witness it. that would definitely be fun. "sooo, what exactly do I need to do? just be there or something? yell out 'fire!' like some kind of medieval war commander? 'cause I've always wanted to do that."

the old man was slightly amused by all of your excitement regarding the concept. he said that he just needed someone to be there in case, and you were technically of a higher ranking than he was. you told him that he was such a stickler for hierarchy; he retorted that you sounded like some guy he worked with named tachihara. who that was, you hadn't a clue, but you were assured he'd be there alongside another leader of the battalion.

the rest was a lot less interesting than you thought it would be. you strolled into an abandoned warehouse where the enemy was based with a small army behind you, and you stood there while they lined themselves at your side and waited for your word. you went against your inner child and ordered them to fire in a normal voice rather than a stupidly dramatic one, then you just watched the bodies fall. you glanced at the side to see hirotsu, who was intently scanning his surroundings to make sure there were no tricks. by his side, you saw a masked person and another man who was half-asleep, leaning against the wall.

you fell hard to the sound of gunshots.

maybe it was the way his entire body leaned onto the worn concrete, the way his foot was flattened against the wall and his hips slumped lopsidedly, the way his v-neck plunged down his chest from under his coat, the way his jaw sat tight and clenched despite his slender neck bending backwards to rest the weight of his head behind him. you pulled your gaze off of him since you were afraid of staring, but everyone was already dead and hirotsu was commanding the nameless suits back to hq. the man opened one eye - fuck, they were a glossy amber, some of the prettiest you'd ever seen - and scoffed while he followed them out. he walked like a textbook delinquent, hands in his pockets with awful posture, and you just watched him.

shit, what just happened? you exchanged some brief words with hirotsu as he thanked you for showing up, but all went over your head. you blurted out the question before you could think twice.

"which one of them was tachihara? out of the two who came with us. since, y'know, you were mentioning him earlier..." since, y'know, you couldn't get the picture of your mystery man out of your head and you needed to know his name.

following the affirmation that it was indeed the man with the bandage on his face, you at least had a name as you flopped back into bed at 5 in the morning. you didn't sleep, and you sure as hell couldn't get your heart to stop beating so fast.

something had unhinged inside of you, and all you knew was that you were going to have him.

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"boss, what'd'ya want me to do to 'em?" you yawned, half-asleep as you sat next to the hungover mafioso who was holding some kind of mystery drink in his hand while the other shielded his eyes from the light of day. you came over to his apartment - something which you knew he hated but was in no position to protest right now - and were simultaneously nursing him back to health and being a pain in his ass. "if word gets out that we annihilated the organization but two of their executives are still alive, our rep would take a hit."

"can you shut the fuck up," he groaned, body slumping further onto his fancy kitchen counter while you continued to laugh internally at him and his slightly pathetic situation.

"look, boss, I'll tell you what," you leaned down to his crouched over height and placed a cautious hand on his shoulder, "I'll take care of it. the whole thing. I just need your permission to grab the black lizard if I need 'em for support, but I can make sure it all goes away. and you can just sit today out and spend all day in bed if that's what you want. how does that sound, boss?"

he grumbled and passed out again; you took that as a yes.

you smiled to yourself as you picked up the unconscious body bridal-style, walked over to his bedroom and set him down. he complained loudly in undefined slurring, but you just shushed him and tucked him in under the covers. he was still trying to argue with you when you removed his hat, placed it at his bedside and then gently kissed his forehead and wished him a good nap. it was a little ironic just how much your boss felt like an uncontrollable younger sibling, but you would never say it to his face as you enjoyed the use of your unfractured limbs.

you tiptoed your way out of the apartment and the building, despite being fairly certain that not even an earthquake could disturb his slumber, with parts and pieces of your plan coming together. what you said was true, you did need to take care of those surviving executives. but you didn't really need the black lizard.

you only needed him.

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tachihara heard a gentle cocking of the gun as you glanced in his direction, waiting confirmation that he was indeed ready to storm the facility. you had managed to track down the runaways and corner them in their hideout, and decided you'd call for "backup"; you asked hirotsu for someone who was good with guns and mid-range fighting, since you knew that if you didn't specify, you might end up with the other commander of the black lizard. you didn't like leaving things to chance.

you tilted your head to the side, giving the signal for him to go ahead and sneak down the next hallway. he was eerily good on his feet, light steps as if he were made to be a spy. you did a lot of infiltration work on chuuya's behalf (his face - rather, his short frame - were too easily recognizable on the streets), and every second got you thinking of ways to subtly suggest to him that he provide backup once more on any one of your numerous infiltration missions.

for his part, tachihara didn't seem to be noticing all the coincidences lately. he didn't appear particularly deft or clueless, just indifferent as if he truly couldn't care less. instead of a faint pang in the backrooms of your heart, you felt a sense of challenge, like it was your mission to get him to fall for you because the good things in life are worth fighting for. besides, where's the fun in it if he wasn't playing hard to get?

the mission went by in a blur. you mimicked his mannerisms, ensuring that your movements were perfectly synced with his so that your gunshots felt more like a dance, synchronized bullet ballet. when all was done and the bodies were dropped, you shot him a faint smile.

he raised a brow, perplexed at your joy among the sea of blood, but you began clutching at your chest like he'd shot you with his glare and he chuckled a little bit. you could've sworn you fell in love with him all over again.

"say, I was wondering..." you thought out loud as you crouched down to the body of the target, pulling out a knife from your calf, "are you new? in the port mafia, I mean. I've been here ages and I don't think I would've forgotten someone who shoots like you do."

leaning on the wall while he watched you carve out their skin, peeling off a specific section that had their organization's signature tattoo, tachihara scoffed. "what's it to you?"

"just makin' small talk, don't get your panties in a twist sweetheart," you snickered, albeit screaming a little internally; you didn't expect him to be so resistant. you bagged the proof you needed to show your boss that you got the job done, then rose back to your feet. "alright, we're done here. thanks for the backup."

"wasn't like it was my choice," he rolled his eyes, although you didn't sense any true irritation in his voice. good, this is good, you can work with that.

"wasn't your choice, huh?" you repeated to yourself out loud. "how 'bout this, then: I'm gonna go grab a drink, so it'd be your choice if ya wanted to tag along, no?"

he murmured something about being busy and you tried not to let him see you frown as you walked out.

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this was your fifth "coincidence".

coincidentally, tachihara ended up needing to hand-deliver a message to chuuya, but you coincidentally bumped into him and promised to pass it on. he looked at you a bit suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

coincidentally, you were out drinking with hirotsu on the same day he was going to join the old man. you wouldn't go so far as to say that you played a part in the veteran's sudden diarrhea that left you two alone, but then again it was quite odd that you slipped some sort of substance in his drink right before. not that anyone saw, of course.

coincidentally, weeks of coincidences paid off. every time you'd run into him, need the black lizard or the other way around, he was starting to loosen up. you had a number of inside jokes and he spoke a little more on missions.

this time, you had to go negotiate with a foreign organization from which you imported an important number of your firearms. chuuya was available to go, but you pleaded with him to let you do this on your own, making up some lie about how sending an underling instead of an executive would show them that they are not the ones in control. he seemed skeptical but let you go.

soon afterwards, you whipped out your phone to dial his number.

"it's so unfair!" you complained to tachihara, groaning loudly as you combed through your closet for the right outfit for the occasion. "like I get it, he's busy and all, but dumping a mission on me last minute? sheesh, that's a cheap move, especially from chuuya. I've got 2 hours to figure out what the fuck I'm going to say to these people."

you left the phone on speaker while you pressed dresses against your figure, glancing in the mirror to see if it was the right one. "and it's a big organization, too! I have no idea what I'm going to do if things go south except get my brains blown out."

lies. if things went south, you would easily be able to make your way out unscathed. you were the right hand woman to a port mafia executive, not a scared little girl, but he didn't need to know that right now.

"would'ya like me to tag along? if they see one person, it might look like you were sent as a sacrifice, but if we're two, they'll know we mean business," he offered, as planned. you pumped your fists in the air and contained a squeal.

"hm? oh, you don't need to do that, tachi," you said softly, sliding out of your clothes and into your form-fitting outfit, making sure to check out your ass and reaffirm that you looked stunning. "wait! I'm just kidding," you giggled playfully, "it would mean a lot if you did. thanks."

he chuckled the faintest amount, and you made plans for when and where to meet. you told him that it was a high-end restaurant, so he'd need to wear something fancy enough to blend in, but of course the high-end restaurant was your idea. you'd planned it all in advance, setting up a corner in the back of a place that the mafia had under their thumb and inviting the organization there.

a date, it was a date, and it didn't matter if he didn't know it.

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"you look stunning, dear." he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it, looking up with soft eyes you'd never have expected. he pulled out a seat for you and called the waiter to get you a cold glass of water.

unfortunately, "he" was the executive from the other organization, not tachihara.

awkwardly, your plus one stood in the corner with the rest of the guards, shooting you occasional glares that basically screamed, "why did I volunteer to do this, again?" you just laughed internally and told yourself that you'd take him out again as a way to make up for it, which was your goal all along. you adored it when all the pieces fell into place.

the negotiations were flawless. the man across the table from you seemed to be very willing to cooperate, and you figured his slight cracks at flirting might've been a part of it. the other part was that he looked positively jet lagged and you might've put a little something in his wine to mellow him out. you were sure he would've reached the same conclusion if he was sober, this was just a harmless little nudge in the right direction.

"10% increase on the price for a 20% increase on the quantity of firearms imported, then," you reiterated, smiling sweetly at him while he agreed to double what someone in their right mind would ask for. "lovely doing business with you, sir. I'm glad this didn't have to escalate."

he smiled softly, offering you his hand to help you up then nodding his head towards the exit so his goons would follow him out. you looked at the piece of paper he'd slid into your palm, a phone number etched into it, then watched him looking back at you with a wink. for a moment, you could've sworn you'd almost forgotten about tachihara.

"that was boring as fuck," he strolled over to you, clicking his tongue as he complained about his feet hurting from standing there for so long, saying that he wouldn't have worn a goddamn suit and tagged along if he knew all he would be doing is watching you flirt with some guy."

"that," you stressed, pocketing the number but trying not to think about it, "was not flirting. if I was whoring myself out for the mafia, believe me I'd put myself down with my own hand."

"oh yeah? brave words for a woman with a dress that tight on her ass," he scoffed, crossing his arms before he realized what he'd just said.

"tachi, you lookin' at my ass?"

he seemed at a loss for words, huffing angrily as he walked out and you laughed to yourself. he was so cute when he got angry.

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tachihara michizou was not an idiot.

he, however, did not know what to make of your behaviour towards him.

all these run-ins, all your conveniently-timed missions where you were down one person, every text you seemed to send at the perfect time. he knew your gaze lingered on him and he knew that you wore that dress for him, but he couldn't be sure about it.

confirmation came when he was casually chatting with chuuya over drinks.

"my damn subordinate has been so fucking weird lately," the executive slurred, gesturing for another glass while he toyed with the empty one. "reminds me of that fucking dazai... always plotting some kind of shit..."

"she sounded kind of pissed with you 'cause of that last gig with the firearms dealers," he retorted before downing his shot and slamming his fist on the counter out of adrenaline. "since you dumped it on her."

"huh?! the fuck you mean, dump it on her? she was practically beggin' me for that job, said she didn't want any backup either. I'm telling you, tachi, that chick's gone mad."

so it was a lie, when you called him, complaining. he wondered what else was a lie, but then he wondered why you would lie about that.

as if on cue, a message popped up on his phone with your name on it.

"are you free tonight?"

so he wasn't imagining things. for some reason, it got his heart beating, thinking about the fact that someone would do that for him. but, before he could respond, another ping:

"I got shot sorry lol I have no idea why I made it sound like I was asking you out. could you bring a first aid kit or something? thanks a ton!!"

he concluded on the fact that you were confusing, and that he wouldn't say anything about it, especially since you probably think you're incredibly slick about it. instead, tachihara excused himself from a very drunk chuuya and said he had to go.

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"ow, ow, ow! fuck, why don't you just pour the whole damn bottle on there, while you're at i- fuck!"

the whining was hard. you had to do it manually, making sure you actually sounded like you were in pain when really, your "fever" was from all the heat of feeling tachihara's hands on you as he dabbed the wound.

ironically enough, this wasn't planned. you genuinely did fuck up, the man you never called seemed to want revenge because he sent a few people to kidnap you. you only got grazed while you took care of all the henchmen, but it still hurt like a little bitch.

he was the first place your mind went to, as always. you managed to get yourself home but you couldn't reach the spot on the bottom of your ribcage where it sliced open without feeling a lot of pain.

and so, you just turned it into an opportunity to get him in your house, sitting on your couch, his hands on your skin that was barely covered by your shirt. the alcohol he was pouring onto the wound hurt but you couldn't feel anything except pure ecstacy.

"say, you're not bad at this," you fake winced as he pinched the skin together and just put a bunch of superglue on it. "you got... gah, you got experience as a medic or somethin'?"

"how exactly did this happen?" he ignored your question and instead helped you up slightly so he could wrap the bandages around your torso.

"remember the guy from the other night? well, he gave me his number and I never called, so he got butthurt and sent some goons to fuckin' kidnap me. or kill me, I'm not sure. I didn't really pause to ask 'em."

he looked as if he almost didn't believe you, pulling down your shirt and gently tapping on the spot he bandaged. "there, you're all set."

"thanks again," you smiled at him, groaning a bit as you sat upright. "I know it's late and you were probably doing some other shit."

then a slight pause. "if you want to crash on my couch instead of walkin' home, I don't mind."

the walk wasn't long, and he didn't feel tired at all, but he didn't tell you that. he just helped you walk over to your bed then got himself comfortable on your sofa.

you'd never been happier to get shot. maybe the universe was finally on your side, in its own weird way.

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the wound was fully healed and tachihara was yours.

it was the perfect excuse to him check on you, to have him come over and stay over as "protection in case someone tries to kill you again". both of you knew your excuse was bullshit, your plotting to get him by your side so painfully obvious now that he was getting closer and closer to you. by the time he was making visits on his own and smiling at you in the hallways at the port mafia, you didn't need to do anything anymore.

it was a wordless confession; both of you walking in the streets at night, going nowhere and not saying much. it was cold and you could see both of your breaths swirling in the air. you blinked and suddenly your faces were close, too close, and your body was leaning in on its own. his lips tasted like something your mind could've never guessed.

nevertheless, you were still addicted.

something about the kiss felt effortless, too. like you didn't need to do anything, say anything to get him to wrap his hands around your hips and pull you in close. this was the way it should be, easy and effortless. like you could wait patiently and he'd fall in love with you all on his own.

"have you seen my holster?" he called out weeks later as you laid down on your couch, reading a book as he looked around for the item.

"it's over here!" you called out, the holster expertly hidden in between the cushions because you wanted him to come over to you and find it. as he walked over to you, watching you wave it while dangling on your finger, a teasing look on your features.

"you're a conniving little shit, you know that?" he sighed with a soft smile, glancing at your hands as you set down the book by your side then sitting by your side. "if you wanna talk to me, you can ask like a regular person, y'know?"

his wide smirk as he looked at you pout, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you fake-sobbed into his chest. "you're so mean, thinking I'm lying!"

he grabbed your chin, gaze directly settling onto you with a look that said not to bullshit him. "you think I don't notice? when you kept bumping into me, us getting paired up on missions, even that time you said chuuya 'dumped' that job on you? yeah, you're cute but you're not a great liar."

you furrowed your brows. "if you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"'cause I wanted you to tell me yourself."

"asshole," you pouted, laughing as you leaned towards him and kissed the tip of his nose. "I just didn't think... never mind, it worked, didn't it?"

he rolled over, laying you down on the couch and settling himself on top of you, making sure you were trapped. "being all cryptic now, aren't we?"

"maybe," you muttered between kisses, wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him deeper. "... maybe... maybe you were just... I dunno, so pretty, and I thought 'fuck, he'd never go for me' and... I don't know, it's not important..."

"aw, look at you, gettin' all soft 'n mushy," he chuckled into your neck, smiling at your words while his teeth graze the tip of your earlobe. "keep talking 'bout how out of your league that I am."

"oh, shut up," you whispered, grabbing a handful of his hair and bringing his lips back onto yours so he would stop talking. "I'm tryin to open up here, you smug dipshit."

he grinned as his hand went down in between your thighs, parting them and opening up your legs. "I like the sound of that."

you squealed playfully and rolled him over, but the couch wasn't wide enough and you both fell onto the floor with a dull thud and a frenzy of laughter.

"seriously, though," he brushed your hair out of your face and pulled your hips so you were snug on him while you caught your breath and lowered yourself to kiss him again, "you're talkin' nonsense, baby."

"mmn, if you say so," rolled right onto his tongue. you believed his words, or maybe you didn't, but it barely mattered. he was here now, in your arms and telling you everything you wanted to hear. he said that he knew of your antics, yet the truth was that he couldn't do a damn thing about it if he wanted to.

all because you're a mastermind.

[divinesolas]

hii🤝 can i request an ethan landry ex’s to lovers fic where the reader and ethan broke up cause of ethans jealousy so they’re just kinda mean and sarcastic to each other they’re basically just still mad at each other while being broken up and so there’s a lot of tension between them like but no smut i suck at making requests i’m sorry🙏🙏

Second Chances

Warnings | best friend anika, ex's to lovers, very bad insults (im not good at insults), implied attempted sa, asshole when drunk ethan, slight angst but with happy ending !! not proofread

wc | 2.4k

a/n: hiiii i really appreciate the request i hope you like it !! sorry if its not exactly what you wanted !!

“Clean up in isle four a bunch of fucking garbage spilled all over the floor.” You turn to your coworker next you who rolled her eyes and walked away mumbling something about the back.

Ethan and the others had found their way to your work establishment. Ethan turned his head towards you and rolled his eyes, “Don't you have a job to do?” “I am working asshole see” you gesture to your work uniform and pick one of the items off the shelf just to put it back on. He shakes his head and makes a step towards you so youre almost face to face, “you're so stupid.” You mock him, “How dare you?” “There's nothing wrong with pointing out the truth.”

“Just make out already Jesus christ.” Tara, tired of the two of you, leads the others out of the isle, Ethan scoffs and turns away from you, giving you one last look to which you flip him off before he walks out of the isle.

Watching him leave sucks, you hate to admit it but you miss him. So much. The night two weeks ago is still burning in the back of your memory.

you were just at a party only maybe thirty minutes ago, you had walked away from him and the rest of the group for a quick second to grab a refill only to get stopped by a guy. He grabs your arm and smiles at you. You think his name is mark? You recognize him from your English class.

“You wanna be my beer pong partner?” You shake your head and smile at him, “No sorry i just need to grab a drink.” he sighs, “can i atleast get your number gorgeous?” You shake your head, “I got a boyfriend.” “I'm sorry.” He nods and walks back over to the beer pong table.

You make your way over to the drink table, “what was that?” As you pour a drink you see your boyfriend, Ethan, standing behind you with an unreadable look on his face. you smile at him before turning back to the table, “you know that guy mark from english? he asked if i wanted to play beer pong with him.” you laugh and fill up your cup.

However, you turn back to see Ethan have an upset look. “is everything okay-” “why was he holding your arm?” Your expression turns grim due to his tone, “um… he asked for my number, i told him no obviously.” His face didn't let up, “Ethan, I promise nothing happened.”

He scoffs and turns away from you, “you looked a little too happy to have said no.” You look at him in disbelief, “are you kidding ethan?'' He doesn't look at you. “I can't believe this, you can't even trust me?” he turns back to you, “why should i?” you open and close your mouth in shock, “because i'm your girlfriend? You know what, no I'm not. you're unbelievable i'm so done with you.”

He follows after you, you can see a stumble in his step, is he drunk? “Baby please-” You huff, “Leave me alone, seriously. Dont text or call me.”

He had left you a large array of messages and tried to call you many many times but all of them went ignored.

Whenever he would try to approach you in person you shut down any sort of advances with an ache in your chest.

You feel a hand tap your shoulder and you turn to see anika there with a sad expression, “you still haven't talked to him?” why should you? he was disrespectful and mean, despite how much you may miss him you will never let someone treat you like he did.

“y/n please just talk to him, you two are miserable.” You sigh and shake your head, “I don't feel miserable, I feel great.” you let out a halfhearted laugh before playing with the already perfectly arranged shelf, “sorry but i have to get back to work.” You see in the corner of your eye her frowning but before she can say anymore you hear Mindy calling for her to join them as they leave.

She walks away and you feel regret at the sad look on her face, you'll have to text her an apology letter.

One of your bigger regrets from your breakup is that you cut contact with the whole group, it's not like they wanted to but you didn't want them to have to choose. you watch out of the corner of your eye as they walk out the front door and you take a breath of relief. This sucks.

—

When anika invites you to go shopping at the mall, you are shocked to see her standing around with the rest of the group. Ethan standing further back in the group in a seemingly heated discussion with mindy. God this sucks.

Praying she hasn't seen you yet you try to rush away, maybe text her that you aren't feeling well but of course, “y/n!! over here!!” you sigh and turn back with a forced smile.

you slowly walk over and seeing her genuinely cheerful smile puts a real one on your face, “anika hey, hi guys….” you look at the rest of the group who all greet you except one. He looks to the floor as anika begins to drag you along talking about what clothes she wants to get today.

Soon enough sam, tara and chad split off from the group leaving just you anika mindy and of course, ethan. You are now walking side by side with Ethan as Mindy and anika hold hands in front of you.

You look over to him and see him already looking at you and you scoff despite the fact your heart races, “it's rude to stare you know” he rolls his eyes, “it's hard not to when you have something in your hair.” your hands immediately fly to your hair picking and pulling at it.

He stops you with a sigh, “it's here.” He turns you head towards him and your face heads as he pulls something from your hair and flicks it from his hand. You two stare at each other, his doe eyes softening seeing your face. You look down at his lips, remembering how they felt, wishing you could just grab his neck and pull him against you.

You snap out of it hearing mindy laugh, “god they're so stupid.” You see anika smile at you as you two pull away from each other. You scoff as you move in front of the group, “don't do that again.” You begin to walk away not bothering to look if they're following you, “not even a thank you?” you don't turn back to look at him, not trusting yourself to.

–

“Your outfit looks bad.” “is that the worst you have?” His outfit doesn't look bad. Hes wearing a fucking suit of course he doesn't look bad. It was Sam's birthday so you were all going to some really nice restaurant. you turn your body fully away from him as you all wait in the lobby for the table.

“the worst thing here just so happens to be your hair.” you hear him scoff, “you love my hair.” You turn back to him with an angry look, why would he say that, it's true of course but he has no right. “i don't like your hair just as much as i don't like your face.” he shakes his head and looks away from you with an unreadable look.

“your insults are really bad today. did you wake up on the right side of the bed this morning?” he finally looks back at you and stares at your face, you think he's looking at your eyes but his eyes are turned down slightly, your lips.

Before you can say anymore the table is ready while walking there his hand brushes against yours and you immediately pull your hand away. He looks at you with a frown before he shakes his head and sits far away from you. Good, you think no it wasn't good. It sucked.

–

You're at a party anika dragged you to, you hadn't gone to one since Ethan and you split. Anika decided it was time to get you out of the house so here you were. She ignored you anytime you asked if ethan would be there which leads you to believe he is which sucks.

You stare at the empty cup in your hand and sigh as you stand up to go fill it again despite the fact you are probably way too drunk and shouldn't be drinking anymore. You finally stumble your way towards the table, you pour yourself another drink and chug it down attempting to ignore your pounding head.

“Something wrong, gorgeous?” You turn and see Mark, the same guy from a few weeks ago, You shake your head unable to answer him and wave him off. “Are you sure? you nod again, putting a hand on your head.

“c'mon i'll help you to a room upstairs.” you feel in grab you and begin to lead you towards the stairs you try to push him away but he keeps a tight firm grip.

at the bottom of the stairs you grab the railing to stop him from pulling you up when you hear a voice, “uh what's going on here?” ethan. Thank god. He has a confused look on his face as he looks between the two of you.

“Hey man, I'm just taking her upstairs to rest her head.” you shake your head and look at ethan with a desperate look and he immediately steps into action. “I'm friends with her roommate, I'll just take her back to her dorm.” Ethan moves towards you to grab you but Mark gets defensive and pulls you towards him, “she asked me to take her don't worry man.”

Ethans face hardens, “let her go.” The rest of the group had made there way over to you guys and chad stepped next to ethan. “I don't see the big deal man-” Ethan ripped you from his arms and grabbed onto you as Ethan slammed his hands into the guy's chest. “dont fucking call me man again, leave my girlfriend the fuck alone.”

“are you alright?'' You nod at Chad and watch as Ethan gets in the guy's face and says a couple more things you can't hear before he rushes back towards you and holds you in his arms.

“are you alright? god i'm sorry baby, cmon lets go.” He lifts you into his arms and carries you out, not before he and Chad exchange a few words with a nod from Chad Ethan leaves with you in his arms.

It feels nice, for a moment you forget everything that's happened between you two the last couple weeks and lay your head on his neck. you feel his grip tighten as he pulls you closer, “i got you baby dont worry.”

You close your eyes and breathe in his scent feeling relaxed you almost fall asleep. He cursed to himself and you opened your eyes again.

You notice you aren't on the way to your dorm, “where are we-” “my dorm, sorry i didn't grab the keys from anika.”

You look up at his face and he looks down at you, he's so beautiful. you notice his face turns red and his pace quickens. Had you said that outloud?

You arrive at his dorm, “I'm gonna put you down for a sec, okay?” he only moves to put you down once you nod, he places you on your feet your body leaning against his and he opens the door.

He lifts you back into his arms and walks you inside, closing the door behind him. you feel his warmth leave you when he places you on his bed.

You watch him leave, wanting to ask where's he's going but he comes back quickly with a glass of water, “drink it please” you chug down the water, not realizing how parched you actually were he takes the glass away from you still don't making eye contact, “you can sleep on the bed, i'll call anika to let her know-” you watch him try to move away from you and you whine and grabbing his arm.

“don't leave me.” you don't want him to leave, all the nights you've spent alone since breaking up with ethan flood back into your mind and your eyes water why did being drunk have to make you so emotional. “please.”

His eyes widen before he sits down into the bed, taking off his shoes and yours before lifting up the comforter and squeezing in next to you. A smile grows on your face as he finally faces you, you run a hand along his face and trace his features. “I've missed you, I'm sorry, for everything.” his eyes close at the feeling of your hands.

you keep running a hand along his cheek, “what in particular?” you want to make sure he knows what he's apologizing for, now is not the time you know that but you need to ask. “That whole night, the words I said and what I insinuated, I was drunk. That's not an excuse I know but I want you to know I didn't mean it baby I promise.”

You nod your head, feeling sleep overtake you. “If you really mean it, tell me in the morning.” you mumble as you wiggle into his arms, knowing you already forgive him. He wraps his arms around you, “of course baby I love you.”

–

You wake up the next morning with a pounding headache. You groan and put a hand on your head, you should never drink like that again. You run your hands along the face before realizing you're not in your bed, oh right. last night.

you turn over and see ethan already looking at you, now sober you feel awkward “um good morning.” he smiles at you, “good morning.” you two sit in silence for awhile with him admiring you while you try to avoid eye contact, why was this so awkward?

“So do I need to go through the whole speech again or do you remember?” he looks at you hopefully to which you nod. “never talk to me like that again.” he shakes his head, “never.” you laugh, giving into your true desires and wrapping your arms around him.

“Does this mean I'm your boyfriend again?” You pull back slightly and kiss him, “does that answer your question?”

[saaraahka]

You post a lot of things wondering when you're going to be loved by someone so let me ask: What active steps are you taking to be what you deem loveable and desirable? How are you preparing yourself for that future domme? You can always make that your own to-do list until that special someone is around to write one for you. Best of luck in finding them!

Hii anon and what a lovely ask and set of good and important questions to think of!

So I think a short answer to both questions is i actively try to do and learn to be better at, to at least in my mind to become more loveable and desirable is,

being kinder to myself when trying but not achieving what id like and see it as a learning oportunity not only a failure from my part.

Being more talkative and creating strategies for myself on how to interact with women even when it is just something like saying hi which for me is harder than i can describe and verbal communication is extremely hard for me. With texting it's easier but still mostly involve staring at my keyboard anxiously spending days not getting anywhere.

I try use the skills I have to be useful and helpful in other women's everyday life although still trying to learn how to comunicate this and understand how and when to offer and if it is somethingthat would be appreciated. Although for me this mostly limited to cooking and baking for others and helping with practical things in the limited way I can.

And I try do and experience as much as I can on my own to get at least a sense of what it feels like for me and if it is something I'd like to explore with someone else.

More than anything (i believe) submission is not about actions more than leaving control to someone else and trust them with my needs being met while also meeting theirs. Maybe it makes it hard to prepare myself for a unknown potential future domme but I feel it's the honest way to approach it myself.

And ofc being as shy and insecure and hesitant as I am to social situations and i teraction with women dommes even more so, I still have a lot to work on just to feel like I have something to offer. Since well I feel like a good level of trust can only from in a close relationship (platonic or other). And this obviously doesn't mean trying to become someone I'm not but also I need to be able to show someone how much they mean to me and have to be able to have conversations were I'm considered an active part. Will all of this help me find that special someone I have no idea but I can only try.

Ugh was going to be a short answer. But also have no idea what I'm doing or what steps would be best to focus on in what order or what traits a domme would appreciate in me... so yeah any help and thoughts welcome.

Um anyway ty for the ask and hope this makes sense ❤️

[moonyasnow]

TWST OC Showcase: Irina Barret

Vice Housewarden of Ramshackle; the Dorm based on the Lonely Ghosts' Spirit of Adaptability

(Housewarden: Tomoe Sakurada)

Voice Claim: SynthV TETO

Human Right-handed Wales - Ramshackle Dorm 152cm / 4'11 - #ae6bcf / 174, 107, 207 June 1st - Gemini - 16 y.o. 1st year - Freshman - Class D, no. 3 Gargoyle Appreciation Club Best Subject: Potionology Hobbies: Sculpting Pet peeves: The sounds of glass and porcelain Favorite food: Warm bread Least favorite food: Cold leftovers Talent: Empathetic Perception Floyd-given name: Shrimpy Rook-given name: Demoiselle Lapine Cater-given name: Rini

Link to all my OC Showcases here!

Some quotes:

"U-um…please give me work! I-I can cook, clean, do laundry, a-and I can be very quiet about it, too! You'll barely even realize I'm here." — "I don't want to be a burden on you. Right now, I imagine I am probably using up resources, and I'm not even offering anything in return…"

"Um...I-I'm sorry!"

She's crouching down on her knees in her bed, crying, muffling her sobs by biting her hands. She wants to scream. [internal narration] *He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me! It's all my fault!* "H-he won't even look at me…!" She sobs. *Of course not. Who would want to spend time with someone they think doesn't trust them? A-and I can't even clear up the misunderstanding…! I'm horrible, worthless, a burden, useless…so many people's lives would be better if I was never born!*

! W A R N I N G ! Her backstory is H E A V Y. I mean it when I say this is the darkest backstory out of any of my OCs.

Includes themes of: child endangerment, physical & emotional child neglect, verbal & emotional child abuse, suicide(someone else), mental illness, C-PTSD and SH(biting, self-neglect, chasing things/people that are bad for her)

Only read further if you feel that's something you can handle today. Take care of yourself <3

Irina's mother was from a quite well-off family in Bulgaria, and her father was from a bad part of London. On a vacation to London, the two of them had a fling that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. And Irina's mother's family, having quite traditional values, said she had to marry the father. So she did, and moved to live with him in his apartment in London. But they both quickly realized they were a horrible match.

Her parents hated each other and always fought. Her mother always said that if she'd just never been born, her life would be perfect because she wouldn't be stuck living in what she with her good upbringing considered squalor with Irina's father, who spent all their money on alcohol and drugs, and said it was all Irina's fault. And her father didn't like seeing her at all because he was reminded of her mother who— in his mind— always nagged at him for stupid, useless reasons and seemed to make it her life mission to torment him at home when he'd never done anything to deserve that. Two incredibly proud, selfish people who would drag a child into their conflict. Her father would get mad and yell whenever she— or mostly her mother, since Irina quickly learned to be quiet and never talk back— bothered him in any way. When her mother confronted him about spending so much of that month's money out drinking, their screaming matches often got violent. Her father would hit her mother, or flip over furniture— most often he'd throw plates and glasses and bottles, either at the wall or her mother. Then her mother would yell at him until he left the apartment, after which she start to cry, yelling at Irina if she saw her. As a result Irina can't handle it when she hears the sounds of breaking glass or porcelain; it makes her panic so much she just dissociates. And even the sounds of them, not broken, clinking against things makes her incredibly on edge. Though most often, Irina would hide in her room, sitting on her 'bed' that was just a mattress on the floor, hiding herself under her blanket. She always felt the safest under her blanket. But when not actively upset, her mother would exert whatever control she felt she could over Irina, even in entirely pointless ways, just to not feel as powerless as she did living with her husband; refusing to ever be told 'no' and guilt-tripping and forcing Irina to do/not do whatever her mother wanted or didn't want her to. Her parents often forgot to feed her, too. Since she'd already been conditioned to never ask for anything, she started smuggling small scraps of food into her room, which she hid in a little box in her closet. But she still stopped growing at 152cm and remained very petite for the rest of her life, due in part to the childhood malnutrition. But they weren't always cruel to her. Sometimes, very rarely, one of them would be in a good mood; usually because the other was away. On these rare occasions her father would sometimes let her sit next to him on the couch, and would show her what he thought were the best parts of the game shows he loved to watch were. And if she seemed interested enough in whatever story he was telling, he'd even smile at her, and compliment her, and ruffle her hair. And when her mother was in a good mood, she'd smile at Irina and tell her she did a good job helping with the chores. She would sometimes even ask Irina what she wanted to have for dinner that day. Irina always made sure to pick something she knew her mother liked, to make her even more happy, so she'd smile at Irina even more. Those small moments made her absolutely overjoyed, and made her want to make them smile like that again. It was the only taste of 'affection' she had for the first five years of her life. And it planted the idea in her head that, if only it was just her and one of her parents, they could actually be a happy family.

When she'd see children with their parents, she became jealous, since her parents never held her hand, hugged her, sang her to sleep or gave her any sort of comfort. When she'd tried to hug them, they brushed her off and walked away. She tried to be away from home as much as she could, since she hated always hearing her parents scream at each other. When she played pretend with other kids in the neighborhood, she could ignore the reality of her situation and just be happy for a while. When they all wanted to go home because it had gotten too late, she felt lonely and scared again, because she wouldn't have anything to distract her from thinking about home. She had no other adult she could confide in, and she felt scared of her parents. They had never physically harmed her, but she was scared that they might someday. But even worse than being home when both of them were there was when only she and one of her parents were home. Then, they'd scream at her, and she was always scared they would hit her. Now that she's grown up, sometimes when it's quiet, she thinks she can still hear the distant, muffled sounds of her parents fighting with each other. And whenever anything bad happens in her life, she hears her mother's voice whispering to her saying 'your fault'.

She had one close friend from when she was 5 to 8— he was two years older than her, had brown hair and green eyes, and he was the best thing in her life. He found her crying under a tree one day after her parents had an argument. He told her his name and asked why she was crying, and when she didn't answer, just looking up at him, through her tears, hugging her knees, he just sat down next to her to begin reading something. She eventually asked what it was, and he read aloud to her. They became best friends. He would bring sweets for them to eat together, he would read to her, and whenever she was scared or sad or crying he'd wipe away her tears and ruffle her hair, placing a small kiss on the top of her head and tell the tears to go away. He taught her how to read, too! He was the only good thing in her life, her only experience with what love and comfort should feel like. When she was with him, she could forget about her parents and how miserable she otherwise felt. She could wake up each day looking forward to seeing him. She was in love with him, and dreamed of the two of them being together forever. She was so happy she could cry every time she saw him. And some of her absolute best memories were of when it had been snowing and all the kids in the neighborhood would come out to play together, where he and Irina would often join in. Or sometimes they'd just make snowmen, or snow-angels. Snowy weather has always been her favorite. Not only did her happiest memories always happen when it was snowing or had recently snowed, she thought everything being covered in snow was comforting. To her, it looked like a big, fluffy, heavy blanket, muffling the world and making it quiet, hiding her from every bad thing. She liked making snowmen the most. And she eventually started making them in more interesting shapes, most often rabbits. She'd always loved rabbits. They were the only animal she didn't feel afraid of. She often used to fantasize about owning a lot of rabbits when she grew up. Her friend once gave her a little pink plush bunny for her birthday; he said he saw it in a shop window, and it reminded him of her. She named it 'Clover' after the flower crowns he'd make for her, as well as the color of his eyes. When she cried about how much she hated the sounds of when her parents would throw glasses and plates and bowls into the ground and break them and that she'd only have wooden cups and bowls when she grew up, he said he'd also have wooden cups and bowls, so she could visit him. She felt so happy, and so treasured, and loved… But then one day he just stopped showing up. She waited, but he never came back to play with her again. She cried and cried, scared that she would never see him again, wishing so badly that he would come back, wondering why he left her behind. Only then, after losing him, did she realize he was all that had been filling up her heart until that point. She developed abandonment issues, and began to feel what loneliness was for the first time. Before she met him, she was always, always alone. He took away her loneliness…but she didn't realize the absence of it until it returned. …Eventually, knowing he was gone and probably not coming back, the memory of him in her heart hurt her so much that she just…forgot. Her mind repressed all memory of him, to keep her from hurting. So she thought she'd always been alone. Anytime she remembered him, she thought he was just an imaginary friend she dreamt about as a child, to save her from her loneliness. And eventually she forgot about him altogether. But the impression he'd had on her never faded. The color green would forever feel 'safe' to her.

Then on June 3d, two days after her 9th birthday, after a particularly bad argument, her father— like he usually did— left the house. Her mother asked her to go pick flowers to put in a vase on the table for when her father eventually came back. When Irina came back in she found her mother's corpse hanging from the ceiling. Her skin was blue. Irina could almost hear her say 'your fault', which her mother oh-so-loved to say to her. She believed it. She hid in her room for 4 days until her father finally came back. When she heard him come back she ran to him and hugged him. When he saw her mother, for the first time, he hugged her back. She was convinced this meant the two of them would start over fresh somewhere, since the only reason he was so unhappy was because he was stuck with her mother. He packed a bag and started walking, and let her follow after him, holding onto the edge of his big sleeve. But then, at the edge of the town where they lived, he told her to wait there. She did. She never saw him again. A week later, on June 13th, she was found dehydrated and half-starved, holding onto her bunny plush Clover, and taken to live at an orphanage. Funnily enough, she didn't remember where she got Clover. She thought her parents probably got it for her at some point. Knowing that not even her parents— the only people who were ever supposed to love her unconditionally— didn't want her, even when there was only her father left and her mother, whom he hated, was no longer in the picture… It broke her. After this point she truly started to believe she was inherently worthless, and that no one could ever love her. While she lived at that orphanage, she started trying to play with kids who lived nearby more than she had before, and she did make friends, always with one kid at a time. And she was so happy to have a friend— someone who could make her feel loved and make her forget things at home— that she always became obsessed and overly attached and incredibly clingy, getting jealous every time they even talked to a kid that wasn't her and scared they would stop being her friend because they found someone better. She never really managed to make any long-term friends because of this. That clinginess lead to them always leaving her behind, perpetuating the cycle. She only got better at hiding her emotions. As well as people pleasing— to a chronic extent. Every time someone left her, she became even more convinced of the fact that she was unlovable and thus became even more scared she'd be abandoned. Every time, she lost a little more trust for people until she just couldn't open up to anyone at ALL. She was convinced keeping it all hidden is what she needed to do to keep people with her— not bother them with her issues. But she has barely any memories from this time of her life. Only a handful of them The only thing she remembered fully clearly about this part of her life is that Clover, her bunny plush, was always there. Funnily enough, she didn't remember where she got Clover. She thought her parents probably got it for her at some point. She brought it with her everywhere, and it had suffered through all the same things as her. She still has it to this day, and since it's quite small, she brings it with her everywhere. It was the closest thing she can remember having to an anchor as a child, so despite being at an age where she thinks she should have 'outgrown' stuffed animals, she can't bring herself to let go of it.

When she was 13, she ended up being adopted by her uncle— her mother's brother— whom she had never heard of before. He'd recently moved to Wales for his work, and that's how the system found him. He was the first adult who was ever kind to her. He asked how she was doing, set aside time to play with and read her to bed, brought her with him to see fireworks, to run errands, or just go on walks. And she was surprised when— shortly after adopting her— he took her out to buy new clothes, and also said she could pick out one more thing from whatever store she wanted. She wasn't at all used to receiving things, and didn't feel like she deserved it. But he often had to leave for a few days at a time due to his job requiring him to be away from home often. Every time this happened, paranoia set in that he was going to abandon her just like her father did. Each night he was gone she would cry herself to sleep, begging for him to come back. She spent moment of his absence doing almost nothing except waiting for him to come back. And her luck socializing with her peers didn't really improve much... Ever since she was around 8 years old, she had started developing in a way that was very strange compared to her peers. As a child she had very strong reactions to things, she wore her emotions on her sleeve at all times, and these emotions seemed to be much stronger than those of other people around her. But those explosive feelings never matured with her as she got older, and she kept having almost child-like outbursts of emotion even well into her teens. The tiniest thing— like forgetting to bring something that she was asked to bring, not knowing the location of her stuffed rabbit for even a few minutes, or being lightly insulted in a friendly way could make her start sobbing uncontrollably and have a massive breakdown. Though often, just 10 minutes later, she'd have stopped crying and felt entirely fine again. So when she was herself, her wild mood swings seemed to just be too much for everyone. And her experience with her original parents had made her extremely unassertive and scared of angering people, to the point of her developing social anxiety and rejection sensitivity. She absolutely hates people being upset at her, and if she thinks she's done something wrong, she thinks people will dislike her. Since she herself was never enough for anyone as a child, she doesn't think she ever will be. And the new 'friends' she did manage to make were...not the best for her. Somehow the people she seemed to attract were always ones who didn't care about her, who'd use her, take advantage of her desperation for love, affection and validation and drip-feed it to her after she did things for them, before dropping her once they didn't think she was amusing or helpful anymore. When they did still like her, think she was fun and wanted to spend time with her, she felt absolutely high on the joy. But the moment they avoided or ignored her, even for just a moment, it felt like the world was caving in on itself. But they told her she was just being clingy, which once again got her to hide her feelings so as not to displease them. Gradually chipping away at more and more of her, until there was nothing left. Until she was just a shapeless lump of clay for them to mold however they liked. But she'd endure it. That was what love was, right? It was supposed to hurt, and she was supposed to cover that hurt up so they'd stay with her. To endure was to love. Because enduring showed a commitment, that she would still stay with them. That was all she wanted, after all. She knew most of her friends wanted more from her than just her loyalty, though, so she'd do anything they asked her to. Even when it hurt. But they all left her in the end no matter how hard she tried.

And every single time another one of her friends left her, her abandonment issues just became even worse. She thought it was all her fault, and that if she'd just tried harder, had fewer boundaries, been better, they wouldn't have left. She thought she was the problem. Eventually, she'd become convinced that everyone is going to leave her in the end, and stopped being able to trust anyone, alternating between 'I don't want them to get close enough to hurt me' and 'they're going to leave anyway so I'm going to try to be close to them while I can', sometimes even experiencing both at the same time. As a result, when someone actually nice, who had good intentions and respected her, did actually approach her with the intention of genuinely becoming her friend, she ended up just panicking. That wasn't how friendships went for her, after all. She was always the one giving 90%! So she was so confused when anyone was nice to her for no apparent reason. And so she ended up usually just avoiding and ignoring them until they stopped trying to get close to her. But it made her so sad every time because it felt like being abandoned and given up on all over again. But she just didn't know how to deal with the paralyzing fear and paranoia them being genuinely good to her caused her. Afterwards she would always cry and bite her hands and lip and arms so much that she'd fall asleep from exhaustion with her arms and mouth covered in her own blood. Then in the morning, all she'd need to do was wash the blood off and no one would be able to tell that she'd hurt herself. Eventually, she learned to bottle up the biggest of those feelings until she was alone, upon which she'd have another breakdown. As a result, the people who know her now don't know the true extent of her mood-swings, since she's become such a people-pleaser in a desperate attempt for people to stop leaving her that she no longer lets herself become upset in front of others. But it feels empty, since no one ever knows the real her. Always bottling her feelings up makes her feel like she's just one tick away from exploding at all times. But since bottling her emotions up like that has begun to feel like yet another matter of survival, she never lets them boil over.

Some miscellaneous info about her:

Irina is very physically independent while also being quite emotionally dependent. Meaning: She can take care of her physical needs (cooking, cleaning, buying food, washing her clothes, etc) by herself, but she relies heavily on others emotionally. She realizes she has no idea who she is as a person, what her personality is, what she likes, etc. She can never remember her past emotions nor truly comprehend thoughts of the future. The current moment, to her, becomes 'eternal'. Her mood-swings and splitting episodes don't make this any better or easier. She also takes VERY bad care of herself both mentally and physically. She was just never really taught how. When her uncle was away she mostly just ate bread, cereal or instant noodles, just because she only puts in effort for other people.

She's gotten really good both at noticing every subtle, tiny little change in someone— in addition to already having a great sense of natural intuition, or 'gut feeling', about people— and at figuring out exactly what people wanted to hear, and saying it to them to avoid conflict. Though as a result, she doesn't really know how to open up to others. She's still so stuck in 'anyone can become angry at you therefore trust no one and never let your guard down' mode. And partly due to that paranoia, she never told her uncle what her life had been like before he adopted her, him only knowing that both her parents were out of the picture for some reason or another. Actually, no one but Irina knows that. She never told anyone. Not about any of it, always being very careful in how she worded herself when asked about her past, or life, or herself in general.

Because of the way her mother died, she has a crippling fear of being unable to breathe/suffocating.

She really hates Summer. The sounds of cicadas, the bright, merciless sun, the strong smells and the loud noises of people and nature, the heat— all of it reminds her of the summer she turned 9. Seeing her mother's corpse, being forced to wait hungry and thirsty in her room for four days of 'going to the bathroom' in the corner of her room because she was too scared to open her bedroom door, since it'd mean seeing her mother again. Then being abandoned by her father when he finally came back, sitting in the scorching sun for a week waiting for him, almost dying of dehydration. Near the end of May, she always starts to feel intense anxiety, the kind where you feel like you can't breathe. And she hates her birthday, hates having it acknowledged in any way.

And around this time start the nightmares. Nightmares where she sees her mother, hanging from the ceiling, telling her in a hoarse, breathless voice that it was her fault. That she is so worthless that she didn't make her mother's life worth it, that she was so much of a horrible burden her mother would want to die just to get away from her. Her father strangles Irina with a rope that smells like vomit, and it burns her neck and it hurts so much and she cries and cries and cries and apologizes. Sometimes the person strangling her is a friend, or someone she loves. Or they're standing off to the side, watching her be strangled, doing nothing, looking at her with apathy and annoyance in their expression and walking away even as she reaches for them, begging them to turn around. She always wakes up the second before she dies, hyperventilating and shaking and crying and almost wailing. She claws at her throat and still feels like she can't breathe at first. Often until she bites herself. The pain reminds her she can breathe. Then she takes in giant gulps of breath, like someone who's been underwater for decades. She holds herself as tight as she can, leans over until her forehead is against her mattress and cries until she falls asleep again, exhausted.

It continues like that almost every night until around the start of August. On some nights, if she's lucky, it'll be raining. The nightmares don't come when it rains. This is why she hates summer vacation. Not only will she have to deal with that almost every night, the lack of a routine makes it even worse, and she doesn't even have the luxury of looking forward to be able to talk to someone the next day. Sleeping aids like medication don't work— it just gives her sleep paralysis.

Often, this just translates into her staying up late at night with insomnia, or because she's too afraid of the nightmares to want to even try to fall asleep. She does this quite often even when it's not Summer, as well.

At NRC:

For her and Tomoe, I'll be doing breakdowns of what they did during and in-between the books. Includes spoilers for: Books 1-5 (tiny bit Book 6 and Book 7 too but barely)

Prologue

Unlike Tomoe, who was woken up early by Grim, Irina was woken up at the same time as the other freshman, and went through the ceremony like normal, until it came to her turn, and a wave of confusion swept through the hall when it was found out she was magicless. But it was forgotten as Tomoe soon arrived, following the Headmage. They both ended up in Ramshackle. As Tomoe was older she became Housewarden, and Irina the Vice Housewarden, as Tomoe did not feel safe giving the position to Grim.

As she was cleaning somewhere else at the time, she also wasn't there when Tomoe, Grim and Ace burnt the Queen of Hearts statue, nor for the ensuing detention where the chandelier broke. But Irina used her bunny eyes(basically puppy dog eyes) to convince Crowley to let them try to get the magestone instead of being expelled right away. She wasn't even fully intending to— she really just wanted to ask Crowley about it, and then, feeling bad for Tomoe for being in the same situation as her— homeless, basically, with no way home— she kinda just…accidentally convinced him by saying she was worried for Tomoe, Crowley realizing 'oh shit what if people found out I kicked her out—imagine the lawsuits'. And Irina being genuinely worried enough that it showed on her face was, in part due to being worried for Tomoe herself yes, but mostly she just didn't want to be alone in that big house with just the ghosts. And, somewhere in the back of her mind, she kept thinking that, if Tomoe did actually manage to stay, she would be happy with Irina and like her more. And Irina's people-pleasing is chronic.

Whether or not Irina actually intends her bunny eyes even 50% of the time is up for debate. She's also unconsciously gotten used to always looking like a kicked puppy due to the fact that people underestimating and pitying her has really helped her in life. Not to mention the fact that she's not very good at hiding it when she's feeling something, so her anxiety often shows on her face.

Irina ended up being in the same class as Sebek, and given her experience with people yelling, she did not like the experience one bit, always hoping she'd get a seat as far away from him as possible.

Book 1

During the events of Book 1 she mostly just followed Tomoe around, not speaking much unless she herself was directly adressed. She almost started crying when Riddle yelled at her to wear her tie correctly, which soured her entire perception of him for the rest of the school year, making her scared of him. Though she also ended up somewhat latching onto Trey as one of the few people she felt a little bit less on edge around than others, the only other at that point being Tomoe.

Though in general, she was mostly left to her own devices, since Tomoe, as the Housewarden, is the one Crowley most often calls on to do tasks for him. She hates having so much time to herself, alone, since that's when her bad thoughts strike again. Realizing that Tomoe being so busy meant she wouldn't have time but that Irina did, she ended up applying for a job at Mostro Lounge shortly after Riddle's Overblot, and was hired as a waitress.

In so doing, she became acquainted with Ruggie, the unofficial Savannaclaw Vice-Housewarden, as they happened to have quite a lot of their shifts together, and he was also the one responsible for training her. He was relieved she picked it up rather quickly. It was kinda like they could just...feel, that they were from somewhat similar backgrounds, or at least had similar experiences, so they quickly began to feel a silent kinship with each other.

And during her work, Floyd seemed to take somewhat of an interest in her, giving her the nickname 'Shrimpy' for her short stature, pink hair and general skittishness. He often played pranks on her and tried to get her attention, saying it was because "Your reactions are so funny Shrimpy~ and you're real nice too." However, she seemed to be really good at handling his typical mood-swings, at least compared to most other people, actually taking his emotions seriously and suggesting work-arounds and compromises rather than scolding him whenever he 'just didn't feel like it'. And so Azul decide to put her on 'Floyd duty'. And if she were to admit it, it was...kinda nice. Having someone seem so excited to see her, who'd pick her up and hug her in that bone-crushing way she'd always craved but never had the courage to ask anyone for. She developed a small crush on him as a result. Though, as she did with most things in her life, she tried to ignore it.

Book 2

When Tomoe and Grim were assigned the task of investigating, Irina was mostly occupied with her Mostro Lounge work, feeling it was her way of helping by supplying some kind of income to Ramshackle not entirely dependent on Headmage Crowley. So she went to work, completing her shift, then back to Ramshackle. It didn't leave her with a lot of free time. But she still felt...lonely.

She didn't feel like she was really close to anyone. She was envious of Tomoe for having friends. But at the same time, Irina didn't really want to make any, if that makes sense. It felt like way too much effort for what she expected would be a shallow friendship that ended quickly, like all her other friendships— if it even got to be a friendship at all.

One night she'd just been laying in bed unable to sleep, hearing the distant whispers of her parents fighting at the edges of her mind like usual, and deciding to go outside just to escape the confined room and get some kind of distraction from hearing them. She was incredibly startled hearing someone suddenly call out to her, having been too stuck in her own thoughts to notice him approaching like she usually could. She was honestly scared at first, though mostly as a result of being caught with her guard down, which she usually never was.

But as soon as she properly looked into his eyes, all that fear suddenly seemed to fade away in an instant. She didn't know why, but she suddenly started to feel relaxed in his presence, more so than she usually ever did. And she felt almost sad when he disappeared. But she told herself off for it; that was the first time she'd ever met him after all, and she didn't even know his name. But since he'd said she could call him whatever she wanted...

She'd call him Peridot, after the color of his eyes. 'Peri' for short.

Tomoe's first reaction to the name 'Peri' was to laugh, explaining that it made her think of Perry the Platypus. And once she'd also had the thought, Irina couldn't help but laugh too, 'Peri' being exchanged for 'Perry' in her mind after that point.

Book 3

The influx of new workers after the exams and Irina being close to Tomoe, whom was actively working against him, lead to Azul deciding to fire Irina from her job at the Mostro Lounge. That, and he didn't exactly like her anyway, her timid and in his eyes 'cowardly' behavior reminding him far too much of his younger self for his liking.

She was probably the least distressed out of her, Grim and Tomoe to lose their 'home' at Ramshackle, being so used to nothing in her life ever being the same for very long.

To try to somehow make up for the fact that she was fired from her job, Irina started using the School Cafeteria's kitchen more often, so she'd be able to at least cook for Grim and Tomoe. She felt like if she didn't, she was just a burden on the dorm in general, since food expenses had to cover her, too. And there, she encountered Jamil, the Scarabia Vice Housewarden. She instantly began to see right through his facade. From there she'd end up observing him every time they were both in a room. And he, in turn, did the same. He easily noticed that she seemed tailored her words, moods, reactions and even style of humor to whoever she was talking to at any given moment. And he found he could relate to that— always wearing a mask in front of others— and even admired how well she could adapt the mask to suit the person and context. Once, he asked her about it; how she could so seemingly effortlessly mirror people like that. The question shocked her to her very core. No one had ever noticed that about her before. She didn't really know how to react. So she just said the truth: she had no idea how she did it. she just did. She'd been doing it so long that she'd forgotten when she started, that it was just second nature to her. But she was still surprised he noticed that about her at all, since no one else ever had. And through her revealing more and more just how good at observing others she was, revealed to him everything she'd gathered about him: He was overworked and looking after Kalim against his will, probably due to some larger circumstances that wouldn't just be solved with a long conversation. He was tired of always doing everything everyone else wanted and never being given any support himself. Jamil was shocked that she managed to hit the nail right on the head so well. And also impressed. They started talking more about their observations of other people, and this, for once, seemed to be an area in which she had him beat. She had not only her direct observations, but also a very good sense of intuition and gut feeling, that was rarely ever wrong. But on the whole, their opinions and observations were often quite similar. So they ended up becoming good friends.

She ended up being asked by some Student or other if she'd thought about joining a club yet. She hadn't, not even really knowing which clubs actually existed. And so she decided to take a look to see if anything seemed interesting; she had a lot more free time after being fired from her job anyway. When she saw that there was a 'Gargoyle Appreciation Club' and that it had only one member, she knew instantly who that must be, and decided to join it.

Book 4

She was in a different room from Tomoe and Grim and so didn't try to to escape. And when the others were flung out of the dorm, she was the only one of them who Jamil let stay, even offering to make her his vassal, the Vizier to his Sultan, as a form of 'reward' for being able to recognize his greatness even as he hid it.

(Azul also ends up disliking Irina even more due to now being jealous that she's friends with Jamil while he won't even give Azul the time of day)

When Lilia showed up to give her the postcard, she knew who it must have been from. And so she asked Lilia to wait for a second, rushing into her room to get a box, with a letter attached, which she asked him to give to the sender of the postcard. It was a birthday gift for her friend Peridot; a clay tea pot, its spout designed to look like a little dragon, the handle on the opposite end sculpted into the shape of a scaly tail. The letter contained not only wishes for him to have a happy birthday, but also an explanation of the spout. She wanted to give him a Gargoyle as a gift, but she also wanted to make sure it was an actual Gargoyle, with a clear purpose, rather than just a decorative Grotesque. So she settled on a tea pot! Since it serves as the spout, the 'needs water spout' element of a Gargoyle was cleared, as well.

She wasn't there to see it, but when he got her gift and read the letter, he was so beside himself with joy that for the first time in at least a century, there was sunshine in Briar Valley. Not only was it a birthday gift from his best friend, hand-crafted no less, it was also incredibly thoughtful, proof to him that she'd been listening and paying attention to every single word of all his rambles about his beloved Gargoyles. The next time they met again, before any words could be spoken he quite literally picked her up off the ground and spun her around as a way to say 'thank you'. That was the moment she admitted to herself that she'd fallen in love with him.

He ended up insisting on them drinking at least one cup of tea for all their club meetings after this point, so he got a chance to use it. And he also insisted on the same for every single Housewarden meeting he went to, which he'd started to actually know the times and places of thanks to Irina knowing through Tomoe and telling him. If he'd had any less decorum he would have literally shoved the pot in the face of random people in the halls; he was that happy about it.

Book 5

She took a while to get used to there being people other than her, Tomoe, Grim and the ghosts living in Ramshackle. At first Vil reminded her a bit of how her mother used to be in her calmer moments, and it made her feel uneasy. She was also scared of Rook at first since he kept popping up out of nowhere and she, due to her trauma, gets scared really easily. She's also the one who gives Malleus the tickets to the SDC. For their booth at the cultural festival Irina made a bunch of small clay figurines of Grotesques and then wrote above them the differences between them and Gargoyles, to educate people.

When Tomoe meets Malleus for the first time, she lightly teases Irina, asking "So this is the famous 'Perry the Platypus."' Irina got very embarrassed, and Malleus, eyes wide with surprise, asked if that was meant to refer to him. Irina, face burning with embarrassment, then explains the name and its connection to a certain animated Platypus spy, but also says her nickname for him was actually supposed to be short for Peridot. It ended with Malleus bursting out laughing right then and there, Irina, still embarrassed, saying: "W-was it really that funny?" It then becomes a recurring inside joke of him calling himself 'her platypus friend'.

When Malleus began to fix the stage, not being used to magic and thus a bit scared at first, Irina moved close to his side out of reflex, feeling safer there. It made him really happy to think that for once, not only was there someone who wasn't afraid of him, but she even felt safe around him. Though she became very flustered when she realized she'd been gripping onto his jacket arm.

Book 6

She stays behind at NRC, staying in an unoccupied room at Diasomnia and waiting for Tomoe, Grim and everyone else to come back.

Book 7

I have not yet read Book 7, but! This time it's Irina's time to shine instead of Tomoe! Irina understands why Malleus does what he does, she also hates losing people; that's why she's not going to lose him to his Overblot.

Also, I didn't know where else to include this, but Crewel is her favorite teacher. She wants to do well in his classes and get his approval. She always does her absolute best and asks for clarification from him often to make sure she's doing it right, so an accident doesn't happen, hence why Potionology is her best subject. He praises her careful nature, and it makes her absolutely soar with joy. There's nothing that makes her happier than when she does well and gets a good grade and he pats her head and calls her 'good girl'- which she is one of very few students to hear often. She wishes he was her father. She's come very close to accidentally calling him 'dad' multiple times.

And on the topic of me technically having 2 'Yuu's, here is which events Irina would go to. If there is a Story Event not on this list, assume Tomoe went:

The Phantom Bride: Love at First Fright Twisted Halloween: Terror is Trending A Firelit Sky: Over the Sands The Harveston Sledathon Camp Vargas 2: The Art of Survival Sam's New Year Sale: 2024 (EN server) Glorious Masquerade: Let the Bell of Solace Ring Fairy Gala: Operation Illusive Evolution Twisted Tsumderland 2 Tapis Rouge

More sprites:

Bonus: 'Family' & Friends

Anthony Barret & Diana Barret/Popova

Clover the Plush & 'Clover' the 'imaginary friend'

[headfulloflettuce]

The Human Who Fooled All of Prythian

29. To Velaris!

“Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core.”

-Heather Brewer, Eight Grade Bites

It was pure luck that she had managed to catch him at the workshop.

“Amelio!” Cosette yelled, lifting up her dress slightly to rush after the fae as he pulled on his fur coat and walked outside, followed by a smaller, white ash haired faerie, “Amelio, wait!”

He had barely showed up the building the past couple weeks, despite all her efforts to get in contact.

“Cosette? Sorry, I am a little bit busy right now, we’ll have to talk later.”

“Wait!”

“Oh, if this is about rent you can just give it to the secretary as always.”

“Take me to Velaris with you!”

“I am sorry?” Amelio stopped in his tracks.

“Solene mentioned that you are currently working out trade routes to Velaris and are traveling there. Take me with you.”

Realizing this was going to be a longer conversation Amelio stepped back inside, dusting off the snow that had managed to cover him already, his assistant, visibly annoyed, following him back in. 

“Cosette, why exactly do you need to go to Velaris?”

“I think I’ve figured out why the ‘spirit houses’ aren’t working.” she said, “We’ve been building them wrong. The runes aren’t the problem, it's the way we’ve been building the house itself. The tool needs to be woven to properly work as a conductor and disperse the energy into the snow and soil around it, not just hold it inside.”

Amelio, “I see…I am glad you have figured it out but what does this have to do with Velaris?”

“Velaris has a history of having skilled weavers.” Cosette explained, “I want to go learn their craft from them.”

I don’t actually know if they have a history per say, but I remember Feyre met a skilled weaver lady in Velaris. Even bought a special tapestry woven by her. Certainly there must be others who are experts in the field of weaving magical tools or items.

“We have weavers in Winter Court, why not ask them?”

“I am going to ask them too.” Cosette shrugged, “Well, not me, Theo will be doing that. I simply want to get as good of an understanding as I can of this to make sure that this next test run doesn’t flop.”

Or at least so that we can say that we truly tried our best.

“Smart.” Amelio muttered under this breath, raising his voice as he addressed Cosette properly, “However, how do you know this? Velaris has been a secret city until recently. How would you, a faerie who didn’t even live in Prythian until recently, know about this tradition of theirs?”

His assistant eyed her curiously.

Oh shit. I didn’t think about that.

“Oh um.” Cosette quickly wracked her brain for a lie, “Due to how new Velaris is everyone has been talking about it! I heard it from a sailor who claims to have gone there.”

Amelio hummed, scanning her face intently, “You’re brave, trusting the words of a sailor who claims to have gone there without asking for proof”

Cosette gave him a hopeful smile. 

Amelio’s assistant snorted at the act.

What’s your problem?

Amelio’s eyes glanced at the man for a split second before returning to Cosette.

“Very well.”

She beamed.

“You may come with me.”

“Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, sure. It’s not a problem.” he sighed, a strange expression on his face.

“Sir, you cannot be serio-”

“We’re set to leave in three days. I expect you to be at the port at bay 4 at 8 am sharp.” Amelio interrupted his assistant.

“Ay ay captain!”

Amelio chuckled, shaking his head lightly, “I am not the captain. My title officially would be the expedition’s leader, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.”

The assistant shot one last glare at Cosette, before hurrying after his boss out into the snowy street.

No, but serious, what is that boy’s problem?

Cosette smiled.

Eh, didn’t matter. I got what I wanted anyways.

She skipped back upstairs to the workshop.

“What did he say?” Theo immediately rushed over, his eyes gleaming. He had been the one to yell at her in her office that Amelio had arrived.

“He said yes!”

“Yes!” Theo high fived her, a grin spreading across his face, “Wow…I can’t believe you’re going to go to Velaris…”

“Yeah…I can’t believe it either.”

It’s much sooner than I expected.

Cosette smiled.

Maybe, if I am lucky, the inner circle will adore me enough to let me use the trove and leave without any further complications - like in those fan fics on ao3. 

Cosette knew of course the chances of actually meeting one of the members of the inner circle wouldn’t be high, but considering how she managed to land herself in Eris’s welcoming arms maybe she had a chance? Maybe?

She was really hoping so.

“And while I am gone-”

“I am going to speak with fellow workshops and their weavers in the area to try and understand their craft.” Theo repeated the plan.

“Perfect.”

Cosette tentatively glanced at the elder who was fiddling with some wood carving tools, making something that looked like a bear.

“Don’t worry.” Theo smiled, giving her a knowing look, “I’ll take care of him.”

“I know you will.” Cosette nodded, “I trust you.”

Cosette stood awkwardly at the port, waiting to be let on the ship. Amelio had told her to meet him here, so she showed up early just in case. She had packed a small suitcase with clothes, and the herbal tea Aquilo had recommended. 

Ophelia wasn’t going to let me out of the house without it considering how well it has been working.

Ophelia also did not let Cosette leave without insisting she take a couple samples of perfume to the Night Court. The two had to search for smaller vials to fill with perfumes so that Cosette could give them out to potential future collaborators.

‘Good marketing.’ Ophelia had insisted.

Cosette shifted, feeling out of place in her dress, cloak and hat. The outfit was much more suitable for working in a perfumery or walking the streets of a city, not standing in the middle of a port. Tall faeries, with tails, claws or crystal-like wings passed by, wearing appropriate uniforms.

The smell of the ocean calmed her slightly, as cold waves hit the massive port’s foundation, spraying water everywhere, but not reaching the level Cosette stood on. The whole construction was located near the left side of the Court, settled amongst the cliffs. Looking up, Cosette could see glaciers at the very top of the mountains around them. 

Sailors were working on the lower levels of the port to unload cargo from the docked ships. Leaning over the railing, Cosette could see special gear attached to their bodies, preventing the faeries from being swept away by the splashes of strong waves that hit them from time to time, or sprayed across the floor. Quite a few seemed to have large claws on their hands and feet, keeping them on the ground as they worked.

If this is a port in Winter Court, what does a port in Summer Court look like?

The ships themselves stole Cosette’s breath. She had never gone on a tall ship. The only experience on water she had was the miniature ferry their mother insisted they go on when visiting Venice.

By comparison, these ships were large. Like the ones they showed in pirate movies.

Well, guess they had to be large to reach the flattened portions of the cliffs, but still!

“Careful Cosette, lean anymore and you may fall over.”

“Lord Amelio.” she straightened herself out, turning to face the man.

Amelio approached, followed by the same assistant from earlier, “Ready to go?”

“Yes!”

The man chuckled, gesturing for his assistant to take Cosette’s suitcase, and offered Cosette his arm.

She let go of the bag, letting the younger man take it and took Amelio’s arm.

He looks around my age. Maybe.

Cosette was a terrible gauger of faerie ages, relying on Ophelia to tell her how old someone was by human standards.

But, based on how the boy huffed, dragging the suitcase, and his neatly combed hair sticking out in certain places, she assumed he was on the younger end.

Noticing her prolonged gaze Amelio spoke up, “This is Linus, my assistant and student.”

“Hello!” Cosette smiled.

We got off on the wrong foot the last time, but maybe we cou-

“Hello.” Linus grumbled, dragging her suitcase.

Cosette wanted to cry, cringing as the suitcase jumped and smacked the ground as it was dragged along. 

She didn’t want to think about the fate of the poor perfume vials stashed deep inside.

Amelio’s smile stiffened, turning his attention back to Cosette.

“Have you ever been on a ship?”

“Not on a proper one.”

“Well, I hope you aren’t prone to sea sickness.”

“I don’t think I should be.”

“Well if you do become ill we have medicine for that on board.”

I would really rather not hurl.

Cosette didn’t think she’d survive that kind of embarrassment before Amelio.

Changing the subject from throwing up, she asked, “Amelio, is there a reason why they put the port here?”

Do not get me wrong the scenery is gorgeous, but cliffs?

Amelio smiled, “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t mean offense with the question.” Cosette quickly backpedaled.

“I know, I merely want to hear what brought forth the question?”

“It’s just…isn’t it dangerous? With all the cliffs…won’t ships crash?”

Amelio’s eyes sparkled, “Indeed, that is a reasonable concern, one that is thankfully rectified by our expert ship builders, navigators and magic.”

He led the duo over to a docking space, but no ship in sight.

“Our ships are quite sturdy, so a minor collision won’t destroy them.” Amelio noted, “Most freighters especially are reinforced with shielding magic which is more likely to cause damage to the thing being run into, whether it’s an iceberg or stone.”

Cosette nodded, intrigued, meanwhile Linus looked bored, tapping his food.

“As for docking, Winter Court's navigators have mapped out the cliffs and most major underwater pitfalls that could harm us.”

“But still, doesn’t it make trading dangerous?”

“This port is used primarily by Winter Court ships. If guests from other courts arrive via sea they can dock at one of the more open ports. Otherwise, they will require a Winter Court faerie to navigate them through this region's dangers.” Amelio explained, “Its location makes this port a safe stronghold in times of crisis.”

“It was built and maintained by Lesser Fae throughout the centuries. You’re right to call out the problems with the location. The port’s construction cost many lives, especially when proper safety gear and regulations hadn’t been created. However, it’s thanks to the bravery of those faeries, and the ones who work daily to maintain this place, that our court has such a lucrative location.”

You sound proud.

The groups looked out at the lower levels of the port, faeries running back and forth, working.

“Husband.” the familiar cold voice drew the group’s attention instantly. 

Solene approached them, dressed in a warm fishtail dress, covered in similar furs as Amelio, holding a clipboard, accompanied by a tough looking faerie.

“Solene, are we all good to go?”

“Yes we are. The captain here just notified me that the ship is ready to dock and be loaded. ”

“Perfect. Me and Linus just checked with the docking level and they have all the cargo ready.”

The captain nodded, parting from the group, yelling at a few other faeries who quickly grabbed rope.

Cosette’s eyes widened, as she spun around, running back to the railing, staring at the colossal giant slowly docking amongst its now seemingly smaller counterparts.

She hadn’t realized her mouth was open before a breeze blew some salty water into it.

“Seriously…have you never seen a ship before?” Linus rolled his eyes, approaching the bridge that a few sailors lowered. 

Those faeries made sure the structure was secure before permitting them to begin crossing.

Amelio took Solene’s hand, helping her cross the bridge, with one of the other faeries monitoring Cosette to make sure the blonde didn’t go flying off with how much she was looking around.

“What ship did you travel on to get to Prythian?” Amelio asked, helping Cosette hop down onto the main deck, after Solene.

“I don’t know.”

If you know of any ships that travel through space and universes, let me know, Amelio.

“I am not a ship expert, but it was certainly smaller and less grand than this.”

Amelio accepted her answer, “You most likely traveled via a smaller ocean liner.”

Cosette followed the man to the side as they weaved through faeries busy loading the ship.

As the group stood at the ship’s bow, the captain rushed over to Amelio and Solene, plunging them into conversation regarding the ship’s status and loading progress.

“So.” Linus, Amelio’s assistant, spoke up.

“You’re that new perfumer?”

“Oh yes, I am!”

Wow, maybe Ophelia was right about me needing samples. I haven’t even made it to Velaris yet and-

“Right, fragrance water. What’s so hard about making something smell good?”

I take back everything I said.

“Well, considering that the perfumery street smells the way it does, clearly it’s somewhat of a challenge.”

“Right, sure. Of course your product will look good when compared to that which is produced by incompetent buffoons.” Linus laughed, “It’s not a good look comparing yourself to them when you claim to be on a different level. Perhaps if you can outcompete the perfumeries in other courts, then we’ll have something to discuss.”

“I am sorry, what do you even do?” Cosette was astounded by this man’s audacity.

“I am studying the art of business under Amelio.” he narrowed his eyes.

“Ah, so you’re still just a student with no project of your own?”

“Please. No project of my own? Who do you think has been running around making sure stores are still stocked with food?” he leaned in, “Who do you think has been busy maximizing the remaining alliances Winter Court has to ensure this court’s citizens have something to eat.”

Cosette blinked.

He pulled back, satisfied with her silence, “What? Has a spirit caught your tongue?”

“You’ve been making sure trade still happens?”

“Yep, specifically for the Summer and Day Courts.” he wore a proud smile, “So, as a faerie who has been in the business industry way longer than you, I say you should stick to what you’re actually good at.”

“Ha!” Cosette crossed her arms, “Would I be wrong to say that this project of yours is under Amelio’s supervision?”

If it is, how much of it is actually your work?

“Go back to your perfumery.” Linus’s face hardened, not answering her question.

Cosette gaped, “Pardon me?”

“You heard it. Go back.”

“I absolutely will not go back.”

“Right, as you so eloquently begged Amelio to let you come, I am sure it would be awkward to back out now.”

“I did not beg-”

“I must say you’re quite irresponsible for leaving the perfumery without its rightful owner.”

“I didn’t leave it unattended. It will have workers managing it while I am gone.” Cosette took a step toward him, “May I also point out that you left your project without its rightful owner too.”

“Haha, I have an entire team that assists and works with me, and how many employees do you have? Last time I heard it was barely two.”

“What is your problem?!”

“Oh, I have no problem, I am just pointing out the obvious and you’re unhappy with me. You’re the one with the problems, needing to go to Velaris to find out who to weave a house? Basket? What is that thing that Amelio is sponsoring you to even build?”

“Amelio isn’t sponsoring me.”

“Oh wow, so you’re stupid too, great.”

“He isn’t though.”

Does renting out a workspace and offering advice every now and then count as a proper sponsorship? I guess he also permits me to use his land for free…

Wait, no! I am letting him get to me!

Linus smirked, watching Cosette glower at him.

“Well, I see you two are getting along just splendidly.” Amelio’s voice interrupted, his iconic smile beaming at them as the captain left, Solene remaining, watching her husband.

“Yeah…getting acquainted.” Cosette muttered, startling when Linus patted her back in a friendly manner.

“Yup! Just getting acquainted sir. Cosette is just so much fun to talk to.”

“Hm, well I am glad you see things my way Linus.” Amelio turned around, “Come, I want to show Cosette around the ship.”

Cosette tensed as she could feel Linus’s hand ball into a fist behind her back, but it quickly relaxed, with him following after his teacher, still dragging along his suitcase.

All evidence of their conversation was gone from the man’s face as he cheerfully discussed the weather and oceanic routes with Amelio.

Where was this good behavior when you were talking to me?

Cosette tried to not show her displeasure, listening and nodding along as Amelio showed her the room where she would be staying, as well as the various parts of the ship.

“So, the ship relies on wind to travel?”

“Yes, but if there is little to no wind we have some faeries who can manipulate water on board to ensure we keep moving at a reasonable pace. However, I hope we won’t face that problem this time since we have modified the route we are traveling down to avoid any spots with minimal wind.” Amelio clarified, showing them the lower decks of the ship, along with the cargo’s storage space.

“Amelio, I have a question.”

“When do you not?”

“Haha, why are the prices listed on the labels of boxes for products much higher than they are in Winter?”

“Ah, so you noticed. Keen eye Cosette.” Amelio praised, making Cosette blush slightly.

Well shucks, you’ll spoil me if you shower me with compliments.

“The import tax on Velaris is quite high compared to other cities or courts, so I have upped the price to compensate and still earn the same amount of money. ”

“What do you trade with Velaris?” Cosette asked as they began making their way back to the surface of the ship.

“Some manufactured goods, but mostly crops. The restaurants and vendors in Velaris use some of the foods we produce.” he chuckled, “I heard that some faeries have opened up Winter Court restaurants. Me and Solene wish to try them when we’re there.”

“Are you sure you won’t fall ill?” Linus quipped.

“We’re cautiously optimistic.” Amelio said.

Once outside again, Cosette took a deep breath of the fresh, salty air.

It was certainly better out here than deep inside the ship.

“Leaving port!” the captain announced, with a few faeries untying the ropes from the tall ship, removing the walkway and raising the anchor. 

The ship’s sails unfurled, and it began moving, with a small faerie instructing the captain carefully where to steer the ship.

Cosette walked over to the edge, leaning against the wood, and looking out across the water.

Soon they left the port, the ship picking up speed.

“Careful, or you’ll get blown away.” Amelio said.

“I don’t think that can happen.” Cosette wrapped her cloak tighter around herself.

“You never know, maybe a wind spirit will want to snatch you away from us.”

“You’re joking.”

Amelio gave her a look.

Please tell me you’re joking!

Cosette took a step away from the edge of the ship, a bit nervous, earning a laugh from Amelio who pulled out a spyglass.

Linus walked over, joining them as well.

“Cosette, want to take a look?” Amelio offered her the spyglass which she took, looking out across the ocean to see some foggy mountains in the distance.

“That,” Amelio leaned in, pointing to where she was looking, “Is Hybern, and over here”, he adjusted her perspective, “Is where we are headed.”

She nodded, fascinated, “It’s very pretty, albeit hard to see.”

“If you think it’s pretty now, wait until you reach the City of Starlight. It will certainly exceed your expectations.”

Cosette expected Amelio to offer his student to take a look through the spyglass as well but he didn’t, putting it away instead. Linus’s eyes narrowed, as he tried to maintain an unbothered expression.

“What do you even plan on doing in Velaris?” Linus muttered to Cosette.

“As we discussed already, it’s a business trip.” 

“For weaving baskets?” Linus sounded incredulous.

“Yes!”

Was I speaking another language? Why was this so hard to believe?

“Hmm, it would be nice to get to visit some of the iconic landmarks.” Amelio mused, ignoring their squabbling.

“You visited several last time, right teacher?” Linus turned his back to Cosette.

“Yes, me and Solene visited the shrine of the Spirit of the Night Court, as well as the Rainbow of Velaris.”

“I think I want to visit some museums while there.”

Eventually Cosette grew chilly, and bored, having nothing to add to the conversation. So, she escaped to Solene, who was sitting in a sectioned off space next to some heated faerie lights, sipping tea.

“May I join you?”

Solene nodded.

“It’s really cold out there.”

“That’s Winter Court’s wind for you.”

“Indeed!” Cosette shivered, quickly drinking some of the tea that Solene poured for her, “How have you been?”

“Well.”

“How is life in the capital? Is everything going well in business?”

“Everything has been alright.”

“What about rest?”

“I have been resting fine.”

Cosette quieted, taking another sip of her tea.

Solene’s eyes weren’t focused on the woman before her, watching Amelio and Linus instead.

I mean I know you’ve always been cold, but did I do something to upset you?

Cosette wracked her brain trying to think of anything that could have offended the High Fae, coming up blank.

I must just be overthinking things.

Cosette shuddered when Solene finally made eye contact with her. 

Please let me just be overthinking things.

Cosette tried not to drool over the spread of food before her. 

I usually eat hunched over a desk. This is beautiful. Art in fact. 

If Cosete had a phone she would be taking as many photos as she could to post on social media. 

She waited patiently for Amelio to cut into his food first, as it was tradition to eat after the head of the house at the very least sat down at the table. Solene bit in at the same time as her husband and Linus followed after them.

Cosette quickly cut apart the meat and dug in, savoring its taste.

The group was having dinner in one of the rooms in the living quarters on a lower deck. A miniature fireplace was at the end of the cramped room, with some shortbread cookies and seashells placed on its mantle.

Noticing her stare, Amelio smiled, “Cozy, right?”

“Yes, quite. The cookies are for the Spirit of Winter, right?” she asked.

“They are an offering to request his guidance and protection during this journey.

“Strange, after living in Winter Court for a while now I would have thought you’d be aware of such things.” Linus pointed out.

“I am aware that offerings are made to the Spirit of Winter in the form of shortbread cookies, I just would have thought that you would offer something to the Spirit of Summer instead as that spirit’s domain is water.”

“Ah, that’s what the seashells are for.” Amelio said, “We offer to both spirits as not to offend.”

“I see.”

Reasonable.

“What about your home? Do you give offerings to your spirits in a similar way?” Amelio questioned.

“Yes…it’s similar, albeit more specialized.” Cosette answered vaguely, just as the book she had read said. 

Amelio hummed, but didn’t push for a more detailed response, with Linus stabbing at his meat, eyeing Cosette.

“I had an interesting debate with a few of my business partners over dinner recently.” Amelio said. 

Linus immediately looked away from Cosette.

“Someone posed the question: ‘assume you go to a casino in the Winter Court, and the game you play has a 70% chance of victory of 50000 gold coins, and a 30% chance of loss of 30000 gold coins. Do you partake in the game?’”

Absolutely not, you think I have that kind of cash to spare?

“Well, 70% is a pretty good chance of victory. I would take it after assessing the current financial state of my household, income and savings.” Linus responded.

Amelio smiled, nodding, “What about you Cosette?”

“I don’t gamble, so I wouldn’t play.”

“Really? You aren’t a player?”

“No.”

My mother always said my poker face is terrible, that I got it from my father.

“In business you need to take risks.” Linus pipped in, looking at the blonde, “You should take it.”

“No.” Cosette frowned, “I’d rather not.”

“But you could win.”

“Or I could lose.”

“You won’t win if you refuse to take risks. You’ll merely stay in one place without progressing.”

Ha, says the faerie.

“Yes, but if I said I don’t play, then I don’t play. I would rather stick to my principles.”

“You’d rather ‘stick to your principles’, then earn a life changing amount of money?”

Cosette was now feeling annoyed, and therefore, ready to be a bit clever to shut Linus up.

“Well, if I really wanted to profit off of this situation I would do so in a way that would guarantee my victory.”

“But you can’t. You have to choose between not playing and possible victory.” the boy retorted.

“No, instead I’ll report the underground casino to Kallias.” Cosette said, “Gambling was outlawed in Winter Court several years ago and any reports of pop-up casinos receive compensation for assisting the state.”

Linus’s eyes widened, “That wasn’t the ques-”

“But that’s the reality of it no?” Cosette tilted her head.

Linus quieted, thinking about what she just said, while Amelio smiled.

“You really are a clever thing aren’t you?”

Not a thing, but thank you.

Cosette breathed in the cool air of the sea. Behind them she could see the cliffs and snowy shores of the Winter Court, jagged rocks concealed under the waves, ready to end any sailors who dared to come too close without permission. Looking forward, far away in the distance, she could make out other mountains.

“What are you doing out here?” Linus’s voice ruined her serenity.

“I could ask you the same thing.” she smiled, trying to keep the peace.

Why do you have it out for me so badly?!

“I always come out for some fresh air before bed, the lower decks get rather stuffy.”

“Well, at least we agree there.” Cosette muttered.

“Unfortunately.” Linus immediately added on, “I highly doubt that we would agree on anything else.”

“I am sorry, have I done something to offend you?” Cosette spun around to face this man, “You have been getting on my case about literally nothing since we have met!”

“Me? You’re blaming me?” Linus was indignant, “You’re the one walking around all smiles and bubbles about Mother knows what.”

“I do not act like that!”

“Oh you do! I have only known you for two days and already find the act dull.”

“You’ve known me for less than two days!”

“Spirits, you are such a know-it-all.” he growled.

Cosette felt like she was going crazy.

“Amelio is constantly going on about how great you are and I honestly cannot see it.”

She paused.

Oh. Oh! You’re jealous!

Now Cosette was even more stumped.

Was he jealous because Amelio was giving me attention? 

But that’s stupid. Really stupid. He is literally his student. He’s clearly competent in the world of business, why would he feel jealous??

For a moment, no one said anything.

“I am going to be honest.” Linus spoke, his voice bitter but calmer, “I really hate you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“By the Mother you’re infuriating!”

She gave him a look of confusion and helplessness.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t understand what you want from me?”

“Eh? How are you the confused one in this situation?”

“Because you’re acting weird!”

“I just told you that I hate you and you barely reacted!”

“Yeah, because I don’t care what you think of me.”

“Ehh??”

“I don’t care if you hate me, I merely want to be able to exist without having to hear your annoying voice getting on me about random, meaningless, and unrelated topics.”

“My voice isn’t annoying…” Linus grumbled.

“And by the way, I am not a know-it-all.” she stated, “In fact the reason I am going to Velaris is because my project didn’t work out how I expected. If I was a stuck up egoist I wouldn’t have been so willing to go seek help elsewhere.”

Cosette turned around, disappearing into the lower decks, the main character moment she had wanted to have ruined by Linus.

“Stupid Linus…ruining my time in the evening air…” Cosette grumbled to herself, walking down the hallway of the living quarters. She wasn’t certain if she did the right thing telling Linus of her failure.

With people like him such a confession can go one of two ways, either his ego would get fed and he becomes more obnoxious than before, or he realizes he was just being insecure and takes a chill pill.

Cosette was really hopeful that he would take the peaceful route.

“Speaking of Cosette, don’t take out your frustrations with me, onto her.”

“I am not.”

Walking through the living space of the ship Cosette paused before the door to Amelio’s and Solene’s room.

“Then will you pit them against each other?”

“I will do whatever is necessary to hone their talents, Solene.”

She listened carefully, tip-toeing closer to the door.

“What if you break them both?”

“Then they weren’t fit for this game.”

A creak of floorboards nearly made her jump. Cosette turned around, seeing no one, but deciding not to risk it she quietly slipped away back to her room.

Considering how easily Eris sniffed me out back in Autumn when I tried to hide after his confrontation with his father, I don’t really feel like testing the sensitivity of Solene’s or Amelio’s nostrils.

Cosette relaxed once she shut the door to her assigned room, exhaling deeply.

Everything will be fine once we get to Velaris.

Note: I am trying out quotes as summaries. I might go back and add some to the past chapters, so be on the lookout for that.

Also,  I swear Linus will not be elder 2.0.

Next: Chapter 30 - Quiet, the Adults Are Talking

Back: Chapter 28 - A Father's Lessons

Masterlist

Tag list: @rcarbo1

If you want to be added to a tag list let me know :D

[bakedbakermom]

Here is my spoiler-heavy review of/bitch session about Perihelion. I, uh, didn't like it much. I can see the hard work and the love that Claudia Gray has for this series and these characters, and I appreciate it. But. It didn't work for me.

I went into this completely blind. As in, I didn't even read the am*zon blurb or the inside flap to see what it was about. I saw "new official X-Files book" and blacked out and then I had it in my hands. It's part casefile, part mytharc, picking up shortly after the events of My Struggle 4, and clearly meant to be a launching pad for continuing the show as a series of novels.

The casefile is about a killer targeting pregnant women, and Mulder and Scully get called in to investigate because of electrical disturbances in the vicinity of the murder. The mytharc is about the group that moves in to fill the power vacuum left behind by the destruction of the Syndicate (a group calling themselves the Inheritors) and the genetic fallout from the Syndicate's experiments that has resulted in people developing, um, superpowers. Like legit X-Men-style superpowers. And these X-Men aren't happy about it.

Okay let's talk about the casefile bit first. Look. I am sick to fucking death of this show's treatment of women and fertility. If I had known that was going to be the focus of part of this book, I don't know that I would have read it. There are some fairly graphic descriptions of one of the crime scenes early in the book that really turned my stomach, not in a "this is a fun scary story" kind of way but in a "this violence hits far too close to home and I am experiencing the starts of a panic attack" kind of way, so be mindful of that. There are also some scenes from the killer's POV as he stalks his victims - including, of course, Scully 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 - that are so enraging and pathetic I could barely get through them.

And then - TWIST - it turns out he doesn't have electricity powers.... SCULLY DOES. Yeah. Straight up superhero "shoot somebody with a bolt of lightning like DPO" powers. I. I don't.... I can't talk about that part right now or I'll stab myself in the face but...

Look. I love that we got a vehicle for Scully to address her trauma, get some agency, and kick some ass. She needed that. We all needed that. I do like that she completely handed this guy's ass to him when he showed up at the door expecting to face a scared pregnant lady and instead got taken down by Scully FBI in about oh 3 seconds like the pathetic misogynistic sack of shit he is. But FUCK please stop making Scully the target of a fucking serial killer. Stop.

And the book never does give a satisfactory explanation for why the electrical disturbances around each murder could have originated with Scully. Yes, she was near the scene of each crime. Yes, for SOME of them she was in an emotionally charged state. But y'all she was fucking ASLEEP during one of them. And there were many times she was emotionally charged and nothing happened. I don't mind when XF is vague about this shit, that's kind of what they do, but it could at least make sense. I thought maybe it would turn out not to be her but her baby, sensing the danger and acting out to protect or warn the others, but no... Scully just happened to be upset and nearby each time this guy hacked a pregnant woman and her unborn baby to pieces? That is a level of coincidence I just can't get behind. No. (It could still turn out to be the baby, though. I am not convinced.)

Also, unfortunately, Scully handing this guy his own ass on a silver platter was kind of a disappointing ending to that storyline. Satisfying for Scully as a character does not equal satisfying to the reader as a story, sorry.

Okay. Now. The Mytharc.

The shadowy Inheritors kinda suck. They're rich douchebags in ivory towers pulling strings to keep themselves in luxury. If the Syndicate was the generation that pulled themselves up by their bootstraps or whatever, the Inheritors are the trust fund baby generation who are just... there. They don't actually do very much in this story, but I suppose that could change if they try to carry TXF on as a series of novels. So far they seem focused on finding the X-Men that the Syndicate created by accident so they can have a standing army of mutants to do their bidding and keep them on top.

Two such individuals are Vane, who can turn into smoke and travel like Nightcrawler (and yes that's a comparison that's made in the text, which is NOT helping the X-Men allegations) and Craddock, who can channel the dead. (Cherish Craddock is my angel baby and I love her and will hear nothing bad about her. She has superpowers that could destabilize the very structure of society as we know it, and just... uses them to run a wellness cult because it's easy and fun and she doesn't have to work in an office. Honestly, same, love that for you.) They are secretly working against the Inheritors to turn the X-Men to THEIR side instead. There's a fucking secret underground training facility and everything.

There's also a new boss at the FBI who - gasp - has questionable motivations. And a new informant in pop culture tees who - gasp - has questionable motivations. Par for the course I guess, but if you're as sick of the constant rehashing of the mytharc tropes as I am, you're gonna be rolling your eyes. The mytharc just needs to die, okay. It is too broken. Turning The X-Files into The X-Men isn't going to fix it. Casefiles forever from here on out, okay?

Scully has a nice little sidequest where she asks a friend at work to help her figure out the whole "uh there's an alien virus spreading through the population that's causing various degrees of weird mutations including literal fucking superpowers and maybe we should, like, NOT let it do that" but nothing comes of that in this book.

So overall it was kind of a weak casefile, and a mytharc that felt like a lot of set-up for a payoff that may never come, and a ridiculous pivot into superhero territory that I am just not here for. Mulder and Scully are well-written and definitely them, which I appreciated, though given where canon left off with them it's not exactly fun to hang out in their lives/heads. There was one incredibly sweet scene toward the very end where they go to a sonogram together, and that's one of perhaps 3 scenes that I am snatching up like a thieving squirrel at the birdfeeder and taking back to my treehole nest to build my headcanons around.

Also.

There were a few things that absolutely infuriated me.

So the same friend of Scully's doing the genetic thing is also helping her work out the origins of her current pregnancy, and in doing so reveals some information/hope regarding William, which Vane also confirms, and SCULLY DOESN'T TELL MULDER THIS. They do so much work on their shared grief in this book, healing and communicating and reuniting, and she DOESN'T TELL HIM THAT THIS BABY IS HIS AND MAYBE WILLIAM WAS TOO AND THE WOUND THAT RIPPED THEM APART MAYBE WASN'T EVERYTHING THEY THOUGHT IT WAS??? He deserves that information and it pisses me the fuck off that she didn't share it; William is his trauma too, and keeping that from him is just so fucking mean and feels so out of character. They end the story hiding shit from each other and WHY do we still have this as a plot device Jesus Fucking Christ.

I am also so beyond angry that CSM came back for a visit via Craddock's channeling to help Mulder. Either he did that because he's genuinely had a change of heart now that he can see things from "the other side" (oh fuck you, gag me, vomit, do NOT try to redemption-arc this man to me, not ever), OR he's using Craddock to try and continue manipulating and controlling M&S even in death and FUCK YOU NO. I don't even care which one it is. I don't want to know. That man needs to never grace my screen (or page) ever again. Can we just leave his rotting, burnt out husk on the roadside and never deal with him as a character ever again??? CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THAT FUCKWAD PLEASE.

One more thing: there was a bit where Scully is ruminating on the trauma she's endured and there's a kind of throwaway line about Mulder having suffered too, though not as deeply. Dude had part of his BRAIN stolen. He was abducted and tortured. His entire life was a rollercoaster of trauma as he ripped himself apart to uncover the truth about Samantha, only to find out that his father was part of it and also not his father and oh btw every bad thing that ever happened to him and everyone he loved was that guy's fault. DUDE WAS LEGIT DEAD AND BURIED FOR MOOOOOOONNNNTHS. I am not saying what he and Scully endured are equivalent, but this dismissal left a bad taste in my mouth.

This review is so incredibly negative and I'm sorry for that. There were parts of it I had fun with. If this wasn't an XF story but instead an original universe, I might have liked it. But if this is where XF is heading... I think I'm out. Every fan has a breaking point and Scully growing lightning powers to fight Nightcrawler in a secret underground supermutant training facility is mine. I get where you're taking this train, Claudia Gray, and I respect your effort, but this is my stop.

[fairly-fairy-shampoo]

“ In Every Universe ”

🌙Summary: Everything about your situationship with Yeonjun seemed perfect. There were no rules, no romantic feelings, and you stayed friends. But when jealousy leads to a falling out between the two of you, Yeonjun is forced to look inward and reevaluate his feeling for you as well was what kind of relationship he wants with you. The question is, are his feeling more powerful then fate?

genre: NSFW, FLUFF, ANGST

pairing: yeonjun × fem!reader × Soobin

Warnings: talks of sex and possibly Virginity

Chapter 5

“I…um I really appreciate you meeting me here.” You and Soobin sat next to each other a small distance apart. Your crossbody bag being the only thing separating you.

“Yeah of course, no problem.” He gave a soft smile, meeting your eyes for a second and then looked away at something, anything probably. This was more awkward than you anticipated. It's not that you haven't met Soobin before. You've interacted with him plenty of times. But you would mostly have small conversions in passing at the dorms. Or at an event. Now that you think of it, the two states he’s seen you in are drastically different from one another. On the one hand, in a professional setting, your hair done up perfectly, dresses and outfits chosen for you by a stylist whether you like them or not, make-up done meticulously. Compared to you at the dorms in casual clothes, casual hair and make-up. Or on the off chance you pass each in the wee hours of the morning. Him with bed head and glasses and you in one of Yeonjun’s shirts and no pants, skin flushed and sweaty with fresh bruises and hickeys adorning your skin, depending on the direction the night took you. Now looking back, it's a bit embarrassing he saw you in such a state. Not to mention the times he’d probably heard you! Even going as far to tell you two to keep it down! The embarrassing memories come flooding back and you release a slight gasp in real time, catching his attention as your hands fly and cover your mouth. His head whips around to look at you.

“Oh did you say something?” He said voice was a bit muffled with the black mask covering his face.

“Huh.. oh no i was just …breathing.” he nodded his head. It was so evident he was hoping you'd speak first. But with thoughts bouncing around your mind you don't know if you could face him without blushing and feeling uncomfortable. Like Jesus, were you really so comfortable and oblivious to the way you pranced around that dorm with the knowledge that other people live there? Other MEN no less. And how uncomfortable you probably made them. Should you apologize or would that be–

“So do you like this park?” Soobin finally asked not to face you directly. You blanked for a moment, and turned to look at him, shocked that he started up the conversation. His eyes avoided looking at you.

“Yeah. It's my favorite one… the way the trees are set up with the playground it just reminds me so much of home. Plus the leaves changing makes it even better. I don't love the cold but if it means I can sit here and see the leaves change I'm happy, ya know.” You turned to see he was already looking at you, listening attentively. “I'm really sorry for asking you here. You’re so busy and you took time to meet up with me and– If I'm being honest I don't even know what to ask or where to start. I think I am just.” you inhale deeply through your nose. “I just want to know what he's thinking and what's going through his mind. Because you think you know someone but then you fight and it feels like all the words you want to say are unproductive, and petty, and hurtful. And suddenly the person you trusted most is just… I don't know. Not them anymore.” You exhale again seeing Soobin listening in your peripheral. You straighten up to speak again. “And yeah here we are. Sitting in a park I’ve selfishly asked you to meet me at for some hope to better understand a relationship that was kinda doomed from the start I'm realizing…” there's a small moment of silence between you like words are just hanging there.

“You know he really does care for you. He’s said so many times. Whether that was in a friendship way or more then… I mean I've never had– or I guess I should say been with someone in that way.” Your head quickly turns to his, eyes wide at the admission of him possibly being a virgin. The words don't hit right away but when they sink his eyes go big– finally full facing you, waving his largest hands in such a cute way it makes you giggle a bit.

“NO NO NO I only meant that I've never liked... I haven’t ever had a girlfriend… I had… Or I mean I– I’ve been like with like– I'm not like, you know I–” It was pretty adorable seeing this 6’1 man panic like this. Trying your hardest to hold back a chuckle.

“Soobin it's fine you don't have to explain yourself. I believe you.” You chuckle a little more. “I mean, you're the leader of a famous Boy Group. You're tall and handsome. You probably have people falling at your feet.” Your laughter starts to die out as you think back to what he said. Meanwhile Soobin’s neck and ears are red. He’s barely focused both from the embarrassment and the compliments “But that's just it we weren’t dating. We're just sleeping together… and I thought he had an understanding about that and then he blows up at me getting all jealous and possessive. And if it had been me doing something like that… and the things we said to each other… and the way he reacted…” You both jump at the feeling of a phone ringing.

Soobin quickly realized it was his and rushed to find it.

“I'm so sorry I just gotta take this.”

“No, of course.” he stood up and walked a few steps aways. After a minute or two he came back.

“I'm so sorry, I have to go, I didn't even realize the time.” he started to collect his stuff and you stood up as well.

“No, no it's fine, I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time.” he stopped rummaging around and turned to look at you.

“You really didn’t and I think we should meet again and talk. This will give me time to think and stuff… I– I really do want to help if I can.” he gave a soft smile.

~Previous- Master list -Next ~

[definesanity]

The Divine Comedy

Spoilers for the Finale of Murder Drones.

She awoke with a gasp, which then turned into a cough, and then a wheezing gasp.

Uzi's optics were damaged, and could only see errors beyond her vision.

Audio feed was also bugged. It sounded like rain... where was she?

Before that thought ended, her body automatically shut itself down.

-----------

[C: YOU DOING GOOD, THERE?]

[U: Bite me, what the fuck happened???]

[C: SHRUG. AFTER THAT LITTLE TEST. QUESTION MARK EMOJI.]

[U: Greeeeeeeat.]

[BOOTUP_STARTED: WAKE UP, IDIOT.]

--------------

Tessa James Elliot had just about finished repairing the Worker Drone's left hand when it jerked.

And in that moment, green eyes met neon purple-yellow. Tessa didn't even know that was an actual colour combo until then.

Uzi quickly got to her legs, but then they gave out, and she cursed.

"Woah, woah, easy th--!"

Uzi pointed the Solver at the girl. Her feeds were all working.

[C: TESSA?]

Uzi shook her head. Think later. "Don't even think about coming closer!"

Tessa, surprisingly, listened, and took a step back. Due to Uzi's visual feed being mixed with whatever the hell the Solver's had, she could see Tessa for what she truly looked like.

And... she didn't look that bad. Now that she isn't a skin-suit.

Black hair with a bow framed a small face, green eyes glowing, almost. A simple black dress and heels, too. Was this just her. Every day look?

[C: WISFTUL SIGH. SHE LOOKED, SO NICE, DIDN'T SHE?]

Uzi ignored the Solver in her head, looking back at the girl. "Who are you? And--where the heck am I?!"

Tessa slowly raised her hands up in surrender. "Woah, um. As much as I appreciate the caution, could you, er. You know? With the. Glowy thing?"

Uzi squinted. Then, deactivated the Solver. She did ask nicely. And Uzi was nice. Sometimes. Blame N.

"...Okay," the human let out a breath. "I'm Tessa. This is my home. I saw you were damaged and was repairing you when you suddenly booted back up."

[C: GENUINE.]

[U: We can trust her?]

[C: MAYBE. BE CAREFUL, UZI.]

[U: What's with the care?]

[C: YOU DIE, I DIE. PLUS...]

"...Thanks." Uzi eventually said. It's the least she can say. "...My name is Uzi."

"...What, like, the gun?"

"...Yeah. Like the gun."

Tessa squinted at her. "Kinda cringe, girl."

Uzi's eyes flickered at that. "Ex-fucking-cuse you?!"

A noise was heard from outside the room, and Tessa made a shushing motion with her finger.

After a moment, the noise stopped.

"...Okay, sorry! I shouldn't talk given what my middle name is but--still!"

Uzi raised an eyebrow. Then, sighed, pinching the bridge of her non-existent. "Fine, agree to disagree, I guess."

Silence was between them. Then, Tessa coughed into her hand.

"I, er. Like your eyes. Cool colour combo."

Uzi shrugged. "Thanks. Green suits yours, too."

Uzi then mentally face-palmed. She forgot about the censor.

[C: GOD F%*£ING D@!&IT. YOU HAD ONE JOB, SM@R%-@$$]

Tessa looked almost owlish. "You... can see me? Like. No censored thingamajig or, whatever?"

Cat's outta the bag, and Uzi hopes she won't be, either.

"...Ye--?"

Tessa appeared in front of her so fast Uzi nearly thought she had teleported.

"A damaged visual feedback???"

"Er--kinda???"

"That is SO COOL! I knew that Worker Drones can be cool, but this??? Ha! Just wait until you see I'm right, Mum!"

Oh great.

"Your, uh. Mother?" Uzi croaked out in sheer confusion.

"...Oh, right, right! Sorry, should be more formal, I guess." Tessa cleared her throat, and attempted to make herself look taller. "Miss Uzi, on behalf of. Me. I would like for you to stay in the manor and um. Work. For me. Please? Kinda sudden, I know! But. You know?"

Uzi blinked. On one hand, no. On the other...

Ack. Now that she's thinking clearly, Tessa is her only shot at actually surviving for longer than ten whole minutes...

"...Let's say I did. What do I have to do?'

"Nothing... toooooooo arduous?" Tessa said, seemingly unsure herself. Great. Wonderful.

She moved back towards Uzi, twiddling her thumbs, eyes shifty. "I-I mean, sure, there's plenty we have already, but, what we need is like a... 'elite' squad? I guess? And you seem to know your stuff."

Uzi rolled her eyes.

"Thanks. I know literally how to pirate stuff and maybe do that. Thing." she then paused. "Am I gonna have to change my clothes?"

"..." Tessa made a thinking expression. "...Eh, it'll be fine, probably. Welcome aboard!"

She gave out a hand to shake. Uzi, after a second, shook it.

"Thanks." she then remembered. "By the way, if you have any excess oil, could you, um. Pass it to me? My, er. Motors need it. I overheat. Easily."

Tessa waved her off. "I noticed. Don't worry! I'll be sure to slide you some."

Uzi didn't respond.

------------------------

Just like the average timeskip in. Most stories.

Uzi now was in the service of the Elliot family. Tessa was alright. Cyn definitely played her well, not gonna lie.

Her parents, though... ugh.

They thought that Tessa hanging out with 'someone like her' will 'sully' her mind.

They're right. Except she already did it.

Uzi didn't do friends. Until she met N. And then V. And now also kinda literally everyone else.

She often snuck Tessa manga, and some pirated anime, from her own memory, and projected it on to the wall. Elliot seniors usually don't go and check up on Tessa, leading to the two hanging out.

It felt... good. Nice, even.

After finishing another episode of 'Delicious In Dungeon', Tessa's stomach rumbled, and she groaned to herself.

"Uugh... why did we choose the food anime...??" she moaned out, and Uzi looked at her in disbelief.

"Wha--my sister in Robo-Satan! YOU chose the anime!"

"I didn't know the food was gonna look that good!"

She sighed, and leaned back into her bed.

"...Hey."

"What?" Uzi's eyes flickered up.

"For someone who said they've never worked an hour at a job, you're... alright. When it comes to sorting."

"Blame Autism.exe for that." she rolled her eyes, "Still, what brings this up?"

Tessa rolled over, so that her head was upside-down and looking at Uzi's eyes. "Just... you're literally my first friend."

Uzi blinked at that. And then it made sense.

Technically, in the first... er. What. Timeline? She guesses? It was J.

Now, though...

"...Same here, gonna be honest." Uzi replied quietly. "It's... ugh. No one seemed to like the "goth girl", so I was thrown into the bin. Figuratively and literally."

Tessa looked at Uzi with a complicated expression. This is why she doesn't like humans. Their faces are far too expressive for her liking.

"...Say, on that note, you've been hiding something, haven't you." Uzi asked. It wasn't an accusation, just a fact.

"...W-Well, uh. You see, you do a good job! Really! But, when it comes down to it, you're just. One Drone, ya know? It's... ugh, crikey, this is difficult to say..."

Eventually, she just shrugged and gave up. "I found... a teammate? I guess? J, I've called her! She seems a bit... rough, but, trust me, you'll love her!"

[C: DOUBT. SHE SEEMED TO, DISLIKE YOU GREATLY, MY DEAR HOST.]

[U: I WONDER why. Truly, I do.]

[C: I HAD NO DICTATION IN THAT. SHRUG EMOJI. PERHAPS SHE, MERELY JUST HATED YOU.]

[U: Well, I also hate me, so hip-hip-hooray!]

"...Well, don't knock it until you try it, I guess. Sure." Uzi had gotten much better at hiding what she truly thought. It came with years of having Cyn stuck in her head.

"Perfect! J, you can come in now!"

"Wait, she was just waiting--?"

Uzi cut herself off, seeing who stood now in the room, and who had been hiding in the closet. Literally. And probably figuratively, too.

"...Hey, Boss." J gave a salute to Tessa. And then, turned to Uzi, and gave the same salute. "Hey, Chief."

...Uzi won't lie. She liked the sound of that.

------------------------------------

"Lift!"

It was like a well-oiled machine. Except it's two well-oiled Worker Drones. Which is close enough.

James and Louise Elliot enjoyed the high life, Uzi had learnt; parties were a common occurrence, and so it led to many things being needed to be prepared in a short amount of time.

Still, out of every Drone in the manor, Uzi and J remained at the top of their workload. It also managed to see J with more screen time. Because if this were an anime, J would have had at least just. Ten minutes. And that's it.

She was annoying, but it came with her coding. JCJenson seemed to have added a part of code to her which forced her to act like companies, and JCJenson was at the top.

Thankfully, what with the goth's new role as 'Chief', J seemed to not be as biting. She regards Uzi with... almost respect? She isn't sure. She's never been respected.

Sure, there was that time she saved everyone's asses, but she did that because the Defence Force weren't. Plus, that wasn't respect, it was just thankfulness. Now, sure, that definitely fueled her ego for the next 24 hours after it, but after that it became a series of unfortunate events. Like. Holy Robo-Jesus.

[C: IN A WAY, YOU YOURSELF ARE NOW "ROBO-JESUS".]

[U: Which, by default, makes you Robo-Satan?]

[C: MM. MAYBE. OR, PERHAPS, THE HOLY SPIRIT?]

'More like unholy...' Uzi thought to herself.

It's... strange. But, hey, Uzi isn't dead yet, so that's a plus.

She came to the past out of an experiment she tried with the Solver. Being basically God came with perks, and she was just using them, was all.

And now, she's here.

In her eyes? Worth it!

[meme-force-99]

Can I just say on behalf of all of us how beloved the meme force 99 blogs are? Seeing the posts pop up on my dash always makes me smile, thank you for brightening up everyone’s day - I just really appreciate the fact that you guys are (tech)nically “big” blogs but you don’t just use it for clout or gatekeep stuff or whatever, you’re just genuinely so much fun to interact with and it’s awesome

OKAY ONTO QUESTIONS was there an origin story behind making the blogs? Or was it just kind of a spontaneous thing?

Thank you!! 💫 Before I started this, my favorite blogs were chaotic characters' incorrect quotes such as @incorrectdisasterlineage and "what if they had social media accounts" as done by @welcome-to-the-holonet.

One day on my commute to work I started thinking of incorrect Crosshair quotes and then typed them up on my phone notes app in the parking lot. Suddenly I had 20+ ideas, such as:

I figured I'd post one every day and that the blog would live for about a month, tops. I didn't know that rp was a thing. I'd joined Tumblr as a regular user only a month earlier.

But then I told a couple people, and they reblogged, and suddenly the inbox started filling up and people started wanting to "talk to Crosshair" and I found that my answers flowed easily.

But the weird thing was, I kept getting messages saying "Do you roleplay?" and I'd ignore them like um, okay internet stranger, what I do or do not engage in with a trusted partner in an intimate setting is none of your busine- oh.

So anyway that's how I found out that I am an online roleplayer.

-- Crosshair Mun

[betonbennett]

Hello? If what little I have gathered is correct, people from all around the world are able to read anything I write here (which is quite impressive in and of itself, almost enough to distract me from other aspects of my situation), so I suppose introductions are in order.

Good day, everybody (I hope that's a proper greeting). My name is Barnabas Bennett, I– I am a botanist, and I seem to be rather lost at the moment. I cannot say I know much about my current situation, only that I was at a friend's home and now I am here. Wherever here is, of course. I do recognise a few buildings as being in London, but this place appears entirely different, as do the people. Perhaps the buildings I know are there as a mockery of my world. Come to think of it, this might be the work of one of those Powers my friends always speak of. I wish I could at least speak to them.

I must apologise for the dramatics. If anybody who comes across this has any information on where we are, or how to find my way back home, I would truly appreciate if you could send it to me in any way.

Yours in trust,

Barnabas Bennett.

can you tell I suck ass at introductions?

hello everypony. peer pressure has won so I'm finally doing this. please keep in mind that I cannot for the life of me do old fancy speech, and that this is my first time rping since like 14, so you're gonna have to bear with me lmao

anyways yea, Barny gets an rp blog bc I say so. something happened while he was having a... disagreement with a friend, and now he's here, exactly 200 years in the future, what could go wrong :D

um. as far as rules go I really don't mind anything? just don't go fully explicit I guess? but I would say pay attention to the #ooc tag in case something changes

so yea, I think that's it for now

this guy's from the same universe as @jonahmagnus-research and @dr-jonathan-fanshawe so go check those 2 out! they're great <3

anyway have fun!! let's see where this goes

[mazzystargirl]

ok living up to pinned post w some true confessions/dark secrets… so basically after i tried to kms in 2021 fall and went to the hospital i entered a really intense slut era and like started impulsively spending money and stuff too and i didnt have a job so i was like oh omg having a sugar daddy would work out really well for me and also i wanted to do things that would be like damaging or whatever idk why i did it rly. but anyway i engaged in some sugar baby behaviors. and then that winter break i went home from school and met up w some of my friends who ive known since i was a kid. now i have to give a little bit of context here cuz its important. so i have these 3 friends, one of whom ive known since i was 3 years old (N) and the other two since i was like 7 (S and J). and we all live in a very tight knit neighborhood/cultural community where mostly everyone knows everyone. and so my 3 friends parents know my parents. i guess you can see where this is going… but anyway i told them i had a sugar daddy or like it came up in conversation idk. and that was that. then literally the following AUGUSTTTT my mom comes to me and is like oh so some people in the neighborhood have been saying that you’ve been engaging in risky behaviors with older men and that youve been meeting them in hotels. so obviously i denied it very emphatically and tried to pry out who tf she heard that from and honestly i was like what like who could have even spread that and she said J’s mom told her and was lowkey rly cagey about it bc she didnt want to “break her daughter’s trust” and had asked other aunties about the situation like wtfff… and then i remembered i had mentioned to them over winter break so she must have fucking told her mommmm. i decided to assume best intent and chose to believe she was worried abt me and thats why she told her mom so i messaged her like hi did u tell ur mom abt this and i appreciate ur concern but i would have appreciated it if maybe u came to me directly and checked on me it would have been better and u lowkey hurt my feelings cuz now im stressed and anxious and don’t know whos saying what abt me etc etc. and then…

she fucking LIEDDDDD she said she didnt say anything to her mom AND that her mom didnt say anything to my mom!?? which i know is fucking bullshitttt 😭 like it makes 0 sense like if no one said anything is my mom just pulling shit out of the air and if she was how would she land straight on the money like that it just doesnt add up. so i was like um ok ?? uh have a good day. and decided to let it go and i lowkey don’t speak to her anymore and i told N and S that im not speaking to her but they can hang out w her if they want. and i forgot abt it.

but now i just moved back home after finishing school and its lowkey been eating away at me. it hurts me that she was my friend for 13 years and its all up in flames and i never got any closure or an apology or even her to admit or acknowledge the situation?? it hurts me to be at home worried abt what people are saying or thinking about me. i know i shouldnt care but what other people think of me bothers me. im not ashamed of myself and my choices but i don’t want other people to think less of me. i don’t want to reach out to her bc what if she doesn’t care at all about the situation ??? i don’t want to be like this has been eating at me forever and it really hurt me and her to be like what r u talking about i don’t think about you at all. she also just got into med school and im happy for her for real like glad shes doing well its just like. she hurt my feelings really bad :(

anyway if you read this far… what should i do 🥲 is the only path forward trying to let go… tbh i think i just need someone to validate my feelings like am i right to be hurt or is it all my fault and should i beg for forgiveness 😭 like my friend N got coffee w her a couple weeks ago and brought it up to me twice what does that even meannnn