#trust me I'm a doctor I know
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I already wrote a Dr. Sammon's appreciation post, but coming out of a year of misses from some of my favorite creators, I must give this woman her kudos again because she has yet to do me dirty.
Her work always delivers me the ending I need.
And I do mean all of her work.
So I am more than ready for her upcoming pieces.
And until then, I'll patiently wait for my Manner of Death manga to arrive.
#Dr. Sammon#doctor sammon#I'm ready for these two!#I've been waiting years#and now they are finally near!#I trust you!#she knows how to keep me guessing#appreciation post
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Medical Professionals Stop Assuming Your Patients Are Sexually Active Challenge
#sorry this is very personal but if one more nurse practitioner assumes I'm sexually active I'm going to flip my lid#maybe it's just because I take a hormone control medicine commonly called a birth control?????#but I have been told it's usually used just to control hormones? so idk why you'd have to assume that.#also side note: if you're a virgin and need an ultrasound for something like a cyst or ANYTHING like that. TELL THEM YOU'RE A VIRGIN!#i know it's embarassing but you know what's worse? 'this won't hurt at all' hurting unbearably so because the doctor made an assumption#trust me on this one#personal#okay to reblog#cw medical
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Man, as a trans guy and abuse survivor, whenever I see people saying the likes of, "lmao, men shouldn't be allowed in anything deemed 'women's healthcare'!" It just reminds me that - especially in healthcare - my safety and comfort will never matter so long as it continues to condradict people's preconceived notions of what constitutes people worthy of healthcare. It's just something I wish the well-meaning people who are rightfully frustrated with the state of healthcare would take a second to remember.
Yes, the healthcare system sucks and we must fix it. No, that doesn't mean we ought to leave behind people just because they challenge us on our own biases.
#healthcare#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i brought up being an abuse survivor because of a conversation i had irl that amounted to 'male gynecologists are suspicious'...#...like maybe i'm a bad victim but i just think it's thoughtless to just erase us you know?#i just don't trust that 'lmao men need to stay 500000ft away from gynecology' is a good response to genuine harm#and it doesn't just apply to gynecological care by the way it applies to all care#that conversation just reminded me of this tendency people have to immediately become suspicious of ANYthing deemed out-of-the-norm#maybe this is poorly-worded and doesn't cover everything but it's just a really annoying issue to have#and honestly it's why i avoid doctors and almost every healthcare provider unless im like... actively dying
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Daily Sketch 8: 28/05/23
[1] [2] [4]
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#edwin#tumblr art#artists on tumblr#edward elric#winry rockbell#traditional media#pencil#daily sketches#make good art#make fan art#I know you can't actually see their faces but it's them trust me i'm a doctor#50
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people: you need to get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist!!!
psychiatrists: *misdiagnosed me with different things like +4 times and filled me with unnecessary medicine*
#i don't remember which diagnoses they actually formally gave me and which they suspected or medicated me for without a formal label#like i don't trust 99% of all doctors now lol#my first psych appointment was when i was 14 and im 28 now#like i've been at so many clinics#with both private psychiatrists and public ones#with psychologists and therapists too#i've been hospitalised at the psych ward#and i've just been misdiagnosed like.. as in the last thing they said to me is that my formal diagnosis is wrong#but they didn't want to rediagnose me with something else#they just said im not bipolar and it's uhh dissociation from trauma#and they mentioned cptsd and that i have alters ig#and the alters are dissociation and not psychosis as they first thought oof#but like... can i trust them that im not psychotic? like i don't think that i am#but bro i have no faith in danish psychiatrists or psychologists lol#my posts#personal#also this is a vent post#i am psych critical and i think there's a lack in trauma informed psychiatrists/therapists in my country#but like im still trying to find a new psychiatrist lol it's just hard bc the waiting lists here at +2 years for just a general psychiatris#and i need someone who knows about complex childhood trauma#so idk how long i'm gonna have to wait yet
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#vent sorry#i'm like. sick w anxiety. the dr declined my T prescription without warning or explanation. (it's happened to a lot of people recently)#after 5 years i finally have my first NHS gender appt today but it's the clinic that suspended under25 referrals and#i'm terrified they'll refuse to keep treating me or make me basically come and beg in person#my disability support is still in review too im just terrified#i know it's the least of the concerns here but i was also waiting/ relying on US pubs for work and#after the election i dont really trust them to put money in trans books and. idk what to do#like i dont know how to go on. idk how to beg doctors NOT to forcibly detransition me and make them listen. idk
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The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic
Written by pokimoko
Chapters: 1/1
Word Count: ~25K
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)
Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters
Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.
Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending
#good omens#crowley#crowley good omens#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#aziraphale x crowley#fanfic#my fanfic#my fic#ao3 fanfic#my writing#good omens fic#good omens fanfiction#good omens fanfic#gomens#gomens fic#hey good omens fandom. long time listener. first time caller. i thought i'd dip my toes in writing one of my fav characters#going from a 14th doctor fic straight to this was very funny because like. it's the same actor. similar mannerisms. almost the same voice#but they couldn't be any more different. move over 'weeelll' we've got 'ngk' and 'ngh' now#this story was an absolute joy to write. it was so fun getting to write in a style somewhat similar to the good omens book#like the fic is still perfectly angsty trust me but boy was it fun to be a little bit funny with it#also apologies for the long arse title. my brain decided that a good omens fic needed a really long and ridiculous name#to everyone who already knows me: yep. i'm writing a story with radios again. it's either ghosts or radios or both guys i'm sorry#different fandom. same old ideas#i am also furthering my brand that is writing long as heck oneshot fics. chapters? haven't heard of 'em#fyi crowley is literally the only character who shows up in this fic in person. everyone else is pure audio baby#'tis the isolated life of a fire lookout. even if that's the only part of the job that crowley's doing correctly#(the demon is...going through it folks. don't try this at home)
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and my mother gets angry I don't rely on her today now that she suddenly wans to help. but like I cannot trust this is sincere and something I can count on while she still not capable of being honest with me. tired of being told I am unreasonable and crazy not asking for help on the house that beat the shit out of me for catching dengue fever and always attached human value and independence to how much money you were putting at the table
#like I had a lot of doctors be neglectful for me but it would not have gotten this bad if I didn't have my mother encouraging the narrative#that I was making up fake symptoms to get attention.#I don't like admitting or acknowledging it. I know she had a super hard time#but she did make some terrible mistakes with me and I'm not even sure if the three months she casted me our of the family really were the#worst. I wanna make peace with her I do love her I want her to be in my life and I do help her with HER problems#like I've done since I was too little really. but like. I can't trust she wants to be a mother now#if she can't admit she hasn't been#I don't want an apology! I just want her to stop calling me crazy. because her calling me crazy did have consequences for me#which is extra cruel considering nobody should know better than miss anti asylum activist#but I digress. just. is so hypocritical when she acts like she doesn't understand why I'm so 'hard on myself and can't accept being ill'#.txt
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You can either allow me to carry out my last-ditch, hare-brained scheme to save all our lives, or we can sit tight and wait to be blown up. Your choice.
#classic doctor who#funny#third doctor#the master#claws of the axos#the only reason they're in this situation is because the master got himself kidnapped#and yet#such sass#trust me#i totally know what I'm doing#...i think#all i need is a police box and 37 rolls of duct tape
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I realize this isn't helping my "I don't actually have hypermobility" case but sometimes i see Classic Hypermobile Body Positions™ and im like. crying gritted teeth This is A Normal Way to Sit What r u Talking About
#I MEAN THIS ENTIRELY IN THE 'i have had chronic joint pain since i was 10 and everyone except doctors is like#''so ur hypermobile and have problems bc of that'' but i DON'T (probably) i just have TERRIBLE BONES and have danced for 21 years' sense#not in the doubting folks with hypermobility sense#i trust y'all to know ur shit abt ur shit#i just continue to be frustrated and bewildered by what the hell my body is#personal#anyway this is about jameela jamil's recent instagram post#and my desperate search thru the comments for an explanation#bc i was like 'this isn't even a bendy pose what r u talking abt.'#the only thing that would be uncomfortable abt is that if my knees aren't supported sometimes it feels like my kneecaps are sliding out of#place#but my kneecap has only subluxated like a handful of times. IF it was even a true subluxation#anyway this is just me whining abt joints#mine aren't even bad anymore!! knock on wood but i'm so much healthier than i used to be
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#ignore me#i'm just stressed out#the thing is. i made a decision a long time ago not to reblog posts with guilt-trips no matter how well intentioned#both for my own sake and bc i didn't want to be the one putting it on somebody's dash#especially after reading about how especially difficult guilt-trippy posts can be for e.g. ppl with ocd or smth similar#and that's all well and good in most cases when it's not directly tied to ppl's lives#but when it comes to this it does definitely feel like i don't have a leg to stand on since it so very much is people's lives at stake#and i don't feel like i have the moral highground to decide something like that#especially when - while they might affect people in a similar way to guilt-trips - they're not intentionally that#another one of my problems with sharing them on tumblr is that i don't have enough active followers for anything to reach a big audience#and i barely get notes anyway and these certainly don't get enough to get around#probably bc ppl are 1) overwhelmed and have already given money if they can#and 2) wary since they don't know which ones to trust#especially when the scam ones look so much like the real ones and idek how ppl know someone is qualified to verify a fundraiser#all 3 asks i've gotten have been vetted by the same account and it feels off#but the thought of not sharing when they've reached my inbox feels cruel#and it all just feels so lackluster when there are tens upon thousands of fundraisers needing to raise hundreds upon thousands of euros#and it just seems to lead to most of them getting a third of the way there#it's so much more organized with smth like project olive branch particularly on tt where a bigger creator focuses on one family at a time#bc it increases the chance of individual fundraisers meeting their goals#while this just feels like spreading sadness guilt and a lackluster feeling of hopelessness with barely any result#esp when most of the notes are 'reblogging bc i cant donate'#(also genuine question: where does the many go if a fundraiser doesn’t meet its goal? to gofundme the site??)#bc like. even if i put all of the money i own towards one fundraiser i wouldn't meet the goal#rn i donate monthly to doctors without borders in the hopes that the money actually goes to use#and i've donated to a few fundraisers but there are so. so. many. and i don't understand how you're supposed to CHOOSE#it's absolutely fucked up to have to sit there and think about which family you're going to give your money to#it's not like one family 'deserves' it more than another#they all fucking deserve the money! they all deserve to get out of there they all deserve to live their fucking lives FREE#idek what i'm doing here anymore i hope no one actually read this i just needed to get it out and my diary wasn't cutting it
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Me when talking to women: [The most unhinged and explicit filth I've thought abt in the darkest hours of the night]
Me when talking to men: sex? Never heard of it. Best of luck with... whatever that is
#really disappointing for men honestly#like if they were just safer and less creepy and less prone to violence then maybe women would trust them enough to get freaky with them#but alas#literally a man tried to hit on me in a bar in quebec last week#and my ass who had just spent the whole week answering doctor's technical questions in french#had a moment of divine inspiration#so while this man was all up in my space and whispering in my ear i was like... oh haha... i don't speak french sorry...#I'm just an ignorant american who doesn't know any other languages here for the vibes idk!!!#and this man did not speak english and just fully believed me#luckily he did not overhear me ordering from the bartender in perfect french minutes earlier!!#i was shocked at how effective playing dumb turned out to be#but also: if he had respected my space and approached me politely i wouldn't have had to!!
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🐈
#ooh I have a lot of thoughts about Six and Charley and her mysteriousness and how he responds to it#but they intersect with my Six's Mental Health Thoughts which are extremely headcanony#and I know a lot of the fandom would rather just kind of wall off Twin Dilemma and assume Six's proper characterization doesn't include it#and I don't know that I blame them for that#but I like trying to make things fit together#and also there's no way to do that without probably misusing real-world mental health terminology#because (watsonian) the doctor is an alien with an alien brain and (doylist) the writers do not know all that much about psychiatry#but. at least for a bit after his regeneration he deals with paranoia right?#like that's the term the narrative uses. (and it clearly explains his attack on peri - he's perceiving her as a threat due to delusion)#& she says 'I'm not letting a manic depressive paranoid personality like you shut me up' & he objects specifically to 'manic depressive'#later in uhhhh revelation of the daleks? he doesn't tell her about a real danger#and he says 'I didn't want to burden you with what might have been a piece of paranoid speculation on my part'#again I cannot emphasize enough how much I am talking about a fictional character with fictional problems. I do not know psychiatry either!#I do not want to mislead#but one of this character's problems is that he has a badly calibrated sense of danger. sometimes he sees things as threatening that aren't#and sometimes he overcompensates for that#and I think when he first meets Charley he is really not very sure whether he should trust the alarm bells he's hearing or not#she seems deeply suspicious! but also nice? he wants to like her? but deeply suspicious!#'or am I just being crazy?' he asks himself#and so he just kind of... keeps watching her#also unrelatedly to all that I think he kind of likes having the excuse of Mystery for doing what he does anyway which is orbiting her#just slightly obsessing over his companion at the time even if he also occasionally forgets they're there#(he's just very all or nothing in everything all the time)#but yeah. you know how 11 gets about Clara and her Mystery Plotline? 6 is like that about every companion in turn anyway#so he doesn't actually mind having the excuse of Mystery with Charley#this is also why 6 and Clara is so compelling#(this was a tag essay in response to lrb but I decided it was opening too many cans of worms and needed its own post)
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the way I'm honest to dog growing an actual dark coarse hair neckbeard and moustache when I don't shave every 2-3 days lmao
I'M NOT EVEN ON T, MY FUCKED UP BODY JUST DOES WHAT IT WANTS APPARENTLY
#another moment of considering the possibility i might actually have an as of yet undiscovered intersex condition 🤔#like all my bloodwork is always In The Normal Range (even my hormones)#i do have some occasional blips of my thyroid fucking around and calming back down and select temporary vitamin deficiencies#but other than that doctors always tell me i'm totally fine nothing fucky going on in my body#i don't fully trust them esp. since i got a full hormone workup as a teen once and apparently the doctors were alarmed#because my T levels were higher than average?????? but my mother took that call and never scheduled any follow up stuff#so i'll never know what exactly the doctors were concerned about lol#guess i'll just get hairier and beardy-er the older i get#hope my voice will follow suit someday. that'd be nice#no male pattern baldness tho pls i'm way too attached to my hair 😭
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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sometimes I think about The Last and want to scream
#I hate that I love it I hate that it's so out of pocket and uncalled for and downright out of line but SO COMPELLING AND FASCINATING#LIKE THE CHARACTER WORK THAT ONE AUDIO DOES IS INSANE???????#Everyone In This TARDIS (which is missing) Is Suicidal#and I am not even kidding they ARE#C'rizz seeing ghosts. he always sees dead people but this isn't that it's just that he's almost like them but not quite yet#he's always been haunted it just happens more now.#eight's failure and perception thereof he hates himself but still thinks he's the only one who can handle it but he can't handle it#charley who's been on the other end of it who knows what c'rizz has been through and done and who knows what it's like to be asked#STILL asking him to kill her if it comes to it even though she KNOWS it would shatter him bc it already HAS and it already shattered HER#and eight oh eight oh doctor at the end of his rope I am in fact always thinking about the way he says oh what the hell at the end of it#he doesn't care if he lives or dies he's at the end of his rope and has lost all hope he's failed everyone who loves him not only charley#who miraculously still trusts him to some degree even after he broke her into pieces not only charley who he loves#but also c'rizz who did still have that open honest trust in him c'rizz his hesitant beginning to be friend#c'rizz who he understands and who understands him bc the kinship and silent bond between them existed even then#someone remind me to go get my rant on scaredy cat's importance and spruce it up I need to talk about it#because the doctor did love c'rizz too he DID charley was wrong!!! the writers were wrong!!! everyone was wrong about them!!!#he LOVED him but it was so different as to be almost unrecognizable I'm going to CRY#THEY MEANT SO MUCH TO EACH OTHER ALL THREE OF THEM THEY COULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT EACH OTHER ANYMORE#THEY LOST ONE THEN THE OTHER AND NONE OF THEM WAS THE SAME ANYMORE#only in the Last it happened in the wrong order. not the way it was supposed to be.#Lu rambles#dweu#meta finding tag#eighth doctor#charley pollard#c'rizz
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