#truly the least sexy places in the world to go at it

[pirateshelly]

Honestly the most difficult parts of iwtv for my claustrophobic ass to watch are when they pile like sardines into those tiny coffins to fuck

[rosiesmuts]

Odd Atelier

BLACKPINK Jennie

Words: 4,000

Tags: 🍑

A/N: Happy Birthday Jennie

Probably the greatest birthday cake in existence. It's not the traditional kind in the very least. It's one that can't be shared among family and friends; can't be used for gifts or congratulations.

Outside of the walls of Jennie's bedroom is evidence of a party. Traces of her most loved ones that celebrated her 27 years on this Earth: balloons are floating around, streamers cover every room, empty pizza boxes and discarded plastic cups are everywhere. But now they're all gone—the only thing left is this magnificent birthday cake presented just for you.

Jennie Fucking Kim on all fours, her ass in the air, her winking starfish slathered in saliva. It's what she deserves—a fitting gift that honors the birthday girl perfectly. And you are the lucky gift giver. Slobbering over the woman that appears on billboards, magazine covers, red carpets and anywhere else hot women go. It's been thirty minutes of pure unadulterated feasting and Jennie's getting lightheaded because of it—her ass and pussy have been utterly adored by your lips and tongue.

So good. There's a fine art to eating ass—especially one that belongs to Jennie. Your face, chin, and entire jaw are a mess, so are the sheets under her knees. You can only imagine how thoroughly debased your upper lip must look right now.

It makes you throb. Having Jennie in this position. Her entire back is sweaty and arched like a cat. She keeps shaking because her legs feel like jello. You grip her right cheek with a tight palm, tug it a little before lapping at it once more. You reach her quivering ringed hole and lick the velvety skin with an aggressive flat tongue that makes Jennie mewl as your chin gets pushed against her cunt.

You can't help but plant another soft kiss over the rim, humming contentedly at how incredibly warm it feels. How inviting it is. And while it has been truly mind-blowing—to feast and devour the pussy and ass of a globally acclaimed woman… you've noticed a certain desire in the last five minutes.

Jennie Fucking Kim. World famous idol. Begging for everything while her face is smothered into a pillow. A pathetic, needy woman. Just for you.

Now she wants more than just your tongue. It's her birthday. She has presents waiting to be opened.

"Oh please..." Jennie whimpers. Her eyes are half-closed as if she was lost in a trance, only roused when your thumb slowly pokes the pucker. Your tongue on her cheeks, spreading saliva everywhere, getting her as wet as possible for what comes next.

You start to prod Jennie's puckered backdoor, teasingly sliding between her jiggling cheeks—earning you another moan. This would make one hell of a documentary if she was ever caught like this. Probably cause an outrage, too. Imagine the look on those thirsty fans of hers seeing their godly idol just... ruined. Debased. Mired in sex. It doesn't matter, of course, whether her fans would find her reprehensible for it. They don't matter now that she's on her hands and knees. Vulnerable in a way nobody should ever be vulnerable—not her. Especially not Jennie. But she is.

"Mmm..." There goes another sigh. A sigh of relief when a thumb presses against her crinkled rose. Slowly, lovingly, sinking into the deep confines of her forbidden place.

Her hips jump and you force her back down. You love her sounds; the soft sighs, and gasps. How can you not? Right now she's giving a little show, she loves the attention. Looking over her shoulder with an infectious grin on her face—an encouraging smirk, showing you that she's waiting on something a little more exciting. A lot more exciting. You raise your eyebrows in response. She purses her lips in answer.

Oh.

Of course.

"You ready birthday girl? Any ideas on what your present should be?" You lean back, pulling out a bottle of lube from her bedside table. Lathering the entirety of her asshole with it. She looks so damn gorgeous with her toned back in an upward arc and a sexy face contorted in an expression of pure want and lust.

"Surprise me..." Her response is a seductive purr.

The invitation is too hard to resist—especially since Jennie's arching back pushes her hips out and back, effectively shaking her ass side-to-side with a delighted chuckle.

"...OH!" The tip teases her entrance, making her entire body spasm before you're actually able to penetrate. Her backside is soaked, but there are some resistances as your shaft pushes, pushes, pushes… finally stopping only once the ridge of your head pops through.

Fuck, it's tight. Damn it all to hell and heaven, how is her ass always this tight?

There goes another delirious sigh. Hitched. Croaky. Slightly high-pitched. Another wonderful sound coming from a woman that sounds like an angel, looks like one, and sings like one. There are few things Jennie can't do; she's too talented. Too beautiful. An exquisite blend of form and function, pleasure and pain—both which she endures on a daily basis. All because she was made to be looked at by everyone, but never touched. To inspire all, but not to interact. Except tonight.

Tonight it's all about Jennie. The birthday girl always gets her wish.

Jennie clenches hard the further your cock invades. It feels absolutely electric—every last bit of it. The way her body stretches is nothing short of spectacular.

"Ah fuck! P-please. Slow..." She grits her teeth, digging her nails into her pillows, no doubt. She's trembling all over. It's hard for her to take, but she also knows that the pain will eventually make way for a sensational bliss. It always does. Her slim defined back is lightly coated in sweat.

"Slow enough?" You rub your fingers into her backside. A warm up of sorts before grabbing the cheeks with enough vigor to leave marks. Pulling and squeezing the soft flesh of her backside apart, lewdly examining where the two of you are conjoined, and with a sinister chuckle, give an experimental pump.

"FUCK!" She starts to shake uncontrollably and tries her best to remain steadfast, "Keep going..." It comes out as a pant. She's enjoying it, after all. Enjoys the little hurt it brings—gets off on the little sting you're able to provide.

Little by little, you push into Jennie's perfect heart-shaped butt. Into her ass that's incredibly hot and constricting—almost impossible to breathe whenever her body coils tightly around your hard-on.

"Yes!" She tosses her hair, biting into the sheets when your hips meet her ass with an audible slap.

You hold still for a moment. Rocking back and forth a little bit as the tight heat wraps you in pure silk. Almost overwhelming, considering just how tight she is. All you have to do is sit and savor the feeling while Jennie's chest drops onto the bed.

She's panting, heaving even, but she wiggles her hips in an attempt to get accustomed to your presence. Another meek sound of frustration is heard, causing you to release an amused breath as you stroke her back. When she looks over her shoulders—there's a wild gleam in her dark eyes. It's almost magical. "Fuck my ass like you hate me..."

And without further prompt, you pull out halfway before snapping your waist into her with all the force you can muster. That single action elicits a choked cry from her throat and then another and another.

You let it loose. Go all out. Use every ounce of strength and force until the two of you are shuddering and yelling, the obscene sounds of sweat and bodies mingle with moans and groans. It's so dirty; so filthy, yet Jennie absolutely loves it. In spite of everything she does for a living, her actual sexual appetite is simply unbridled.

Pulling her arms towards you, you gather both wrists within your right hand and pin them firmly against her lower back. Using it as leverage to ram yourself into her at an almost unnatural pace, watching in utter fascination at the way her back muscles shift and move, all to keep herself from tumbling face-first against the bed.

All the while, she's groaning. Slurring words incomprehensibly, asking for a little bit of pain—which you gladly deliver. Each slap is perfectly timed, enough to turn her flesh pink and vibrate from the impact, but not hard enough to do real harm. Just like that, Jennie is thrashing on top of her pillow, pushing back in an attempt to relieve the sting before grinding and rubbing against you. The little shit always craves more.

It's hard to imagine who's getting the better present here. For her, it could be the rough anal fuck she's been wanting for some time now. It's all she asked for all week—and for you, it was getting the chance to savagely pillage and conquer the ass of the hottest girl on Earth.

"F-fuck! I'm gonna-ah..."

Those words ring around your ears as they get muffled with her bedsheets.

"You're gonna what?" You pause to lean forward and growl into the shell of her ears. Tugging her arms and forcing her to arch her spine further until her back is kissing the skin of your stomach, causing her to hiss in satisfaction, "You're gonna cum like a filthy slut with her ass being reamed?"

"Yes!"

The thirty or so minutes of foreplay have certainly paid off. She started already wound up tight, and now her body is practically trembling, eager to let loose. It's impossible to prolong the pleasure for long; with a little more adjustment to the angle and speed, Jennie finally sings and wails—shaking and writhing her body on the verge of a world shattering climax.

Jennie Fucking Kim owns one beautiful little fuckhole and it squeezes every last bit of vitality from you, almost as if her ass was trying to strangle every last bit of life you had. Your entire frame trembles as her snug, grasping hotness envelops you in a hot prison and attempts to rip you off. For the duration of her climax, her hands scramble to grab anything and everything they can: her own hair, the sheets—the world, perhaps. There's a little bit of everything happening at that exact instant and you're almost too afraid to move from fear of losing such a heavenly sensation.

But of course, you move.

It's her birthday after all, she needs a few good spanks to feel fully appreciated. To let her ride out this intensity, her entire body jittering in pure elation. And you grant it to her. Delivering more spanks to her beautiful ass, reddening them further, adding to that warmth and almost euphoria-like state the superstar is experiencing.

Her pussy quakes and flutters. The feeling of cumming by butt alone is so much greater than it normally would've been. The tension was much more powerful, stronger in a way and almost addicting, despite the slight twinge in her cheeks and the noticeable bite of pain.

For a moment, everything is lost.

"So sensitive... C-can barely think straight..." Her head sways limply. You'd almost feel bad, if not for her pleased giggles and blissful sigh.

Jennie lies limply, spent beyond measure, all to satisfy her desires. You have to roll the idol on to her back as it seemed her strength has suddenly left her. All to ensure she doesn't completely collapse and possibly ruin this fun party for the both of you.

She's glistening in a thick sheen of sweat and her smile has never looked so brilliant and inviting.

"You're beautiful Jennie..."

"Funny that your greatest compliments come when you're fucking my ass." A sly giggle is shared. She raises a leg and holds it against her chest while the other one is casually parted open.

"What can I say? I'm a man of refined taste." You take the sight of her body in—of the woman splayed on her back like this; naked and satisfied, slick and supple skin glistening in a heavy sweat. The sticky fluids around her folds are starting to coat her ass as well and you can't help but smile to yourself in triumph. "Shame it's over already." You know exactly what to say. How to challenge her. And of course she's not gonna refuse. It's Jennie. Of course she has a few more tricks up her sleeves.

"Nope, this is just the beginning..." She smirks. The life returns to the doe-eyed beauty and the glint in her dark irises becomes nothing short of wicked. It's time for Jennie to stop being the submissive little bitch and take charge. To show that her famous curves are hers to own. Her beautiful body and devious mind is hers and only hers to use as she sees fit. You watch as she leans forward and puts both her palms on your chest—forcefully pushing you down to her bed and straddling you, grinding that beautiful ass over your stomach and making your unreleased cock twitch with need.

It's only 11pm and Jennie still has an hour left to celebrate her 27th birthday... and she intends on spending all that time savoring that delicious ache in her ass.

Happy birthday to her. Happy birthday to you.

"There's no time for a rest, right now I'm gonna ride you."

No complaints.

Absolutely none.

There isn't any way to decline Jennie. Not when it involves your cock and her ass.

After all, it's Jennie's night—the night she turns you into a quivering mess, the night when she puts you under her spell—and makes you fall harder than before. She turns up the heat—another degree hotter when she's at her sexiest, at her most mischievous and dominant.

Jennie winks. Her favorite, trademark move as her face glimmers under the twinkling lights. Her lips are slightly parted in that signature Jennie Kim pout and she's now putting her assets into a display of sorts; rolling her body slowly in an almost rhythmic motion. This dance, a teaser, and one that her fans would pay a premium to see, makes its way on stage: you.

Her toned lithe waist, the little things on her chest, and that godforsaken smile. So tight and perfect. Hot and inviting, and you just need to feel that intense grip around your shaft once more. There's no safe words here—not like Jennie will ever let you use them anyway. Her small frame begins to writhe to its own imaginary beat, shimming and shaking with purpose. The gentle rise and fall of her chest is hypnotic. A sway. Back and forth.

You want her. Badly. She holds your cock in her dainty palm and teases it over and over.

"This is for me and my birthday... Any objections?" Her smile becomes impossibly bigger. Playful and inebriating and there is only one answer that fits the occasion.

"No." Internally you're dying. She keeps pressing it against her starfish, but never quite giving in, only smearing the precum over the orifice.

She smiles in amusement, "Good." She leans forward, capturing your mouth with an affectionate peck on the lips. "Just a little longer. Wanna see how long you can wait."

And so the torture begins. The heat, the haze, and the melody of a sex-drunk woman.

A world-renowned dancer who shakes her hips as she rolls forward, running a finger against your pecs. She brings your hands up to do the same, telling you to caress every nook and curve of her. Make her feel that irresistible electricity that shoots straight down her spine when she's with you. To feel how soft her skin is and how malleable her beautiful little breasts are. She gasps with glee, giggling away in genuine amusement.

She rises from your grasp—her tantalizing curves a testament to her dedication, her passion. You swallow dryly as a drop of saliva drips off the corner of your lips. Such a lewd display has you seeing stars. Your jaw slacks and your eyes focus entirely on her figure—all its stunning contours, lines and edges.

"You really love my ass." A cute puff escapes her. A tinkling laughter before she fulfills out every one of your shared desires.

The snug fit is inevitable—after an incredible amount of teasing from your lovely playmate, she has finally chosen to go for it. Her back is arched upwards and she bites her lower lips when your rod enters her still raw hole—though there's a tiny bit of pain that never bothered her before.

"Shit..." Jennie holds your arm tightly for a moment. That is, before an unholy mixture of delight, satisfaction, and searing arousal overtakes her mind. This moment of weakness doesn't last for long and she immediately repurposes it. She bounces and grinds—each move has her inner walls massage your cock. You're in bliss. Everything that the star does is magical and you're so utterly infatuated. So hypnotized by the look of absolute indulgence. She's an elegant song, and a masterpiece to behold. The sweat pooling between her breasts only enhances her grace, a little bead trickles down her navel. She throws her head, luscious raven hair falls everywhere, and her eyes are squeezed shut, a guttural moan when she sits completely flush.

She rests for a second, catching her breath, still smiling all the while. Even at rest, she's mesmerizing. You notice how she holds your hands firm, fingers intertwined, she won't let you escape. You never wanted to.

The adorable whimpers of happiness are back as she looks up at the ceiling, rocking her hips lightly—teasing you, coaxing you for even more. With one smooth move she's rising and falling, faster, and faster still, going for a solid tempo that sees her hips pounding incessantly against yours.

"Fuck." a choked cry is pulled out of you, "this feels amazing."

"Oh yeah, you really like me fucking my own ass?" Her smug little comment is punctuated by a grunt and another hearty slap to her juicy cheeks. Jennie laughs in her unique sing-song way—breathy sighs and delicious whines. She bounces. And she bounces and bounces—both her beautiful tits, her raven-haired head, and that irresistible heart-shaped ass, too.

Jennie raises and falls on your length and her heavy breathing fills the air alongside her impassioned, sexy cries. She works so hard on top of you and pulls out all the stops: shaking her ass side-to-side, clamping down as she draws to the head of your dick, relaxing on the way down again. Jennie is a performer after all, and she can really put on a show.

She arches her spine back and traces a finger along her untouched flower. Teasing herself. That part of Jennie will be left alone, at least for right now, this is an anal adventure, and so her pleasure from that particular place will have to wait until later. The teasing is deliberate, playful, and a way of providing more stimulation to her greedy bum. It is enough to make her squeak in desperation. The urge to touch herself is overbearing, and only increased when you reach up and pinch the tiny nubs on her chest.

Her expression melts at the assault—completely uninhibited, free, and not afraid of getting messy. There's no one here to judge her. No one except the lucky, blessed spectator below and her own greedy one track mind focused on pleasure. On indulgence. Complete self-gratification.

The strain is showing. Her pace slows as her tired legs from exertion. And now you're the one showing her pity, running a palm over the damp hair sticking to her back, down to the subtle dimples above her ass. She sighs sweetly in response and then draws close, clutching onto your arms.

"Do something for me?" She asks cutely.

You smile in response, nodding your approval. Jennie relinquishes control, simply lays on your chest, awaiting for the moment your hips thrust in and out of her.

"Happy birthday," Your first kiss is to her cheek then your lips hover against her ear, "and to many more to come, Miss Jennie Kim."

Your next movement has her clamp a hand over her mouth in order to smother a lustful gasp. A roll of your hips followed by an upward pump. There is absolutely nothing that beats that first initial snap of the waist. Another after. You use one hand to steady her in her current prone position. The other one is at work, roughly pawing at her ass and smacking at the red cheeks, accenting each new powerful snap of your waist.

"Harder..." Jennie slurs with delirious elation.

You're not sure which one she's referring to, so you offer her both: pumping harder and faster as requested while striking her ass with enough force that the echoes reverberate across her bedroom.

"Fuu-ah... FUCK!"

For a moment, you're startled by her reaction. By how intensely her asshole grips, how hard she pants, how quickly she is cumming without warning. So much buildup and yet that's all it takes. Your chest tightens and you grit your teeth, fighting off the climax that threatens to shoot straight into her backdoor. But she's begging you, practically urging you, to fill that lewd forbidden place with everything that you got.

"You should feel lucky you know," Jennie moans between bounces. "If I let you cum inside, and believe me you'll be allowed to cum inside. You'll be the luckiest man in the world."

Fuck... No kidding. You already feel like the luckiest man alive at this very second.

But your legs are growing weaker, the knot forming at the base of your stomach tightens with each passing moment. The immense pleasure burning through you with each new throb. It's hard to stave off the inevitable release that is boiling just at the threshold.

You take a deep breath. Close your eyes and pray. It's the only way to stay sane—you have to remain in control for just a minute more.

"Go ahead. Be the luckiest man in the world."

Jennie offers permission. There is no denying her this time. And you'll do everything to ensure this birthday will be unforgettable—and you're ready to take that first step.

The idea of an impending explosion is intimidating, the reality even more so. Your body seems to go haywire—like a machine whose sole function is to thrust deep inside Jennie, causing her to spasm, her muscles to quake. Jennie moans. Louder and louder. Less controlled, less sensual. More animalistic and filled with need. Desperate sounds that don't stop spilling out of her the more you shove your hips into hers.

Over an hour of buildup all comes down to one single moment. An unceremonial release, both from Jennie and you. This climax, stronger than any, stronger than all the others. Your last ounce of strength goes to pin Jennie back against your lap, just as you unleash torrential floods of seed—soaking her, coating every part of her ass that is available and then some. At the same time, Jennie lets loose with an unrestrained series of whimpers and lets the warmth from deep inside her wash over. Let it run out between your tightly squeezed bodies.

A myriad of sensations hit the two of you like a tsunami: your entire frame erupts with sensation, shivers and shudders from the pleasure and euphoria. All around, your senses go out of focus, the room begins to spin, but not in that nauseous way—a heavenly sort of thing, and when Jennie purrs out your name in pure satisfaction, your pulse spikes. The hazy heady rush and feeling of ecstasy hits a crescendo, the pinnacle of satisfaction.

The breaths are still coming hard and fast. Hearts beating frantically. What started out slow is ending with a flourish.

She still has some time left to her special day but everyone involved in the intimate celebration is completely spent. Utterly exhausted, but content.

Jennie rolls off your body, uses whatever strength she has left to nuzzle against the crook of your neck, "Best birthday ever..." She presses an appreciative kiss against your sweaty, heated temple.

And that, to you, is a win—one that surpasses all the awards she has already achieved.

[redroomreflections]

Not Easily Broken Chapter 3

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Reader go through a tragic divorce

Masterlist | General Masterlist

3/10

Note: Yes, it's getting finished besties.

W/c: 6k (whew!)

TW: Mention of miscarriage

Natasha wasn’t your first kiss but she’s the first kiss that mattered. You can remember that moment like it was yesterday. The first time she placed her lips on yours. Eleven years ago if you remember it correctly. You had recently been appointed the Creative Director at Stark Industries. Besides Pepper Potts, you were Tony's, right-hand man. You were the woman in charge of overseeing every single creative process dealing with the multibillion-dollar company. You spent more time traveling and in the office than you liked but it came with its perks. With a great salary and good benefits package you wouldn’t complain at all even if most of your time was spent rolling your eyes at the ideas Tony would come up with.

You would see Natasha briefly during your time at the tower. She would be in the room one second and gone the next. It was only after getting to know her you realized that Natasha purposely distanced herself from everyone and everything. There were only three women in the world who could scare Tony Stark. Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff, and you. You’d giggle at every snide remark Tony would make only after Natasha had left the room. You would agree with her on many of the times she put him in his place. The more you saw Natasha the more you wanted to know the woman behind the moniker Black Widow. Without knowing why you made it a mission to see more of her. So, you dropped in on Tony more. You’d ask for Natasha’s input, always remembering to include her. She tried to hide the look of surprise when you would ask her what she thought. As if her expertise was only in the field of battle.

You made her laugh on every occasion. Your thoughts were consumed by the redheaded woman with the gorgeous smile.

As Tony’s employee, you were invited to his parties. Boy, did he throw a lot of them. Many of them you would skip. No one would miss you there. At least not that you noticed. It wasn’t until the night of Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that things changed for you.

You were dressed in a sparkly black number. The dress was short and backless. It hugged your curves in all of the right places and you looked damn good. You felt sexy and ready for the new year to come. There were a few men and women eyeing you all night. Some had even dared to approach you. You didn’t care about their advances. None of them interested you when the one you truly wanted was in the very same room.

Natasha commanded the room with her presence. Every click of her heels and sway of her hips left all eyes on her. She charmed the room. She chatted, made jokes, and even kissed Rhodey on the cheek under the mistletoe leftover from Christmas. Natasha was breathtaking and yet you could tell she wasn’t having a good time. She seemed stiff and on guard. There was a certain air about her that you weren’t sure if other people picked up on. Natasha was a spy after all so she always had to be alert. You could see the way she tensed when Richard Matthews, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, placed his hand on her forearm as he flirted with her. Her eyes quickly cut to his hand before they flew back up to his face. She seemed to be analyzing his flirting but enjoying herself. She flirted back with him just as hard and for a moment you wondered if she would sleep with him that night. Natasha wasn’t yours. You were barely friends and yet the thought of her and that man being together made you sick. You felt the nausea roll over you and you excused yourself to the kitchen. Only a few of the catering staff remained as they packed up for the night. A cleaning crew would come to clean in the morning.

You waited for them to exit the kitchen before clutching the counter. You leaned your weight against it taking deep breaths as you tried to reel yourself in. You were in love with Natasha. You were in love with the Black Widow. A startling truth that had sent you spiraling. Before you could think any further on what this meant the sound of her honey-smooth voice caressed every inch of your body.

“Fancy seeing you here,” You could picture the smirk on her face as she spoke. You took another deep breath before turning to Natasha. She glanced behind her as the swinging door stood still again. Her eyes never left yours as her brows knit in concern. “Y/n, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You frowned. “I just..” Natasha waited expectantly for you to say something. She waited for you to tell her what was on your mind. You could come up with a lie and say you had too much to drink but nothing came out of your mouth. Before you could stop yourself you closed the distance between the two of you to hold Natasha’s face between your hands. You searched her eyes for any resistance, you waited for her to say no, but nothing came. Her breath caught in her chest as she waited for you to kiss her.

“Do it.” She dared you. You pounced with a fierce press of your lips to her. Your senses were overwhelmed with Natasha. She smelled delicious, tasted divine, and the feel of her pressed against you was heavenly. You were pretty sure you had died and gone to heaven as you lowered your hands to wrap around her waist. You pulled Natasha closer so that you were pressed chest to chest. The stilettos she was wearing worked to her advantage as she wrapped her arms around your neck. The sounds of the party fell on deaf ears as your tongue explore her mouth. Only when a moan left her lips did you pull back. Your eyes widened and you moved with an apology at the tip of your tongue.

“Don’t,” Natasha spoke softly. She tilted her head to kiss you again. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” She whispered.

“Really?” You asked.

“Since the day I met you.” She shrugged.

“Well, why didn’t you say anything? Or do anything?” You asked incredulously.

“I dropped hints but you’re a tough nut to crack.” Natasha reminded you. Suddenly you were pulled back to all of the times Natasha dropped by your office. She was always around whenever you had a meeting with Tony. She even texted you to ask for your coffee order a few times. Now that you think about it, it didn’t seem like she did any of the stuff she did for you for anyone else.

“Oh.” It dawned on you. Natasha’s way of flirting was different from the Black Widow’s. Her display out there with Richard was vastly different from the way she handled you.

“Yeah,” Natasha half-smiled. You could see the slight nervousness in her expression. “I’ve never done this before.” She dropped her arms to her side. You immediately missed the contact. You wanted to have her close all the time if you could. “Dated without the expectation of sex. Most of my relationships were curated for work. I-I don’t know how to be someone’s anything. For you, I’m willing to try.” The vulnerability Natasha was showing at that moment made your heart soar.

“I’m willing to try too.” You told her. You reached out your hand and she took it. You pulled her back into you. You took the lead and wrapped her arms around your neck again. It was that night you knew you were a goner. The next few months you and Natasha were inseparable. You were on cloud nine when it came to Natasha.

Everything was easier with her. The two of you had your own traumas and insecurities to work through but it was easy. Loving Natasha was easy despite how much she insisted she wasn’t made for it. As your love for her grew so did your desire to marry her. Two years into your relationship you tied the knot. You bought the very same home you grew your family in. Five bedrooms, three baths, a nice backyard for your future children to play in. Life with Natasha was everything you ever wanted. You welcomed Ryan into the world two years into your marriage. Then Emma. Life with Natasha was magical until it wasn’t.

You don’t want to dwell on the ugly too much. At least not when you’re in the arrival line of Orlando International Airport. You do focus on how the rental you’re in smells “new car fresh”. You tap your fingers against the steering wheel hoping to stave off some of your boredom. You glance around at the moving cars weaving in and out of the line when you spot them. Your family. They’re a few feet away and it’s clear they don’t notice you. You can see Natasha instruct the children to wait there as she reaches behind her in search of her carry-on. She pulls out her phone to check what you assume is her Imessage app. She checks the phone and tucks it back into her pocket. She thinks you’re not going to show. When it’s your turn you honk the horn and pull in front of them. You unbuckle your seatbelt and park the car all within a few seconds. You make sure it’s safe to open your door before exiting the car.

Natasha’s look of surprise is quickly masked by something else. She thought you would send a car for them instead. There’s a cheer from Emma as she spots you. She jumps up and down in place as she hugs her blanket to her chest.

“Mommy, you’re in Florida too?” Emma asks as you plant a kiss on the top of her head. You give Ryan a kiss on his head before grabbing at their luggage.

“Yes, I am.” You smile down at her.

“You didn’t give Mommy a kiss,” Emma points out as you place their things gently into the trunk of the car.

“Oh, it’s okay, she doesn’t need to.” Natasha dismisses but Emma’s pout grows. You realized that you two should have talked about how you were going to handle things with the kids before now.

“But Mommy always kisses hello?” Emma reminds you. She’s confused. If you both were here in the same place it must mean you were going to be together again. That meant her mommies could kiss each other again. Right?

“Emma, remember what we talked about?” You’re not seriously going to lecture her about consent in the middle of the airport but she might need a reminder.

“It’s fine,” Natasha leans over to you, placing her hand on your forearm, as she moves to kiss your cheek. She leans back with fluttering lashes as she crosses her eyes to the kids. This was not a conversation you needed to have right now. You nod and she turns to them. “Mommy is going to show us around Florida. We’re going to be staying with her on our vacation. I wanted it to be a surprise for you.” She’s lying. If you know Natasha and you do, she didn’t tell the kids to protect their hearts if you changed your mind. You didn’t blame her.

“Yeah, I’m going to show you so many cool places,” You tell them.

“Disney World?” Ryan questions.

“Whatever you want.” You tap his nose. “Now what do you say we get this show on the road before Mommy gets a ticket?” You gesture over your shoulder to the airport police hovering a few feet away. You help Emma into her booster seat while Natasha helps Ryan into his. Soon enough you’re on the road and on your way to your hotel. The car ride is relatively silent. Ryan and Emma seem to be holding their own conversation about who they’re going to see when they go to DisneyWorld. You glance over to Natasha to see that she’s watching you.

“I’m really glad you came,” You inform her. “Thank you for taking a chance on me. Again.”

She shrugs half-heartedly. What is she supposed to say? Everything she wants to say would probably be best told when the children are asleep. When you’re alone. You turn back to the road to drive as you both listen to the kids and their stories.

There’s a bit of a problem when you arrive at the hotel. The rooms you got were connected by one door. No big deal. The first room was the one you’d been sleeping in since you arrived two days ago. It was equipped with a king-sized bed, flat-screen tv, and a very impressive mini-fridge. The second bedroom had two double beds and many of the same amenities. The rooms themselves were impressive. It was the kids who made things a bit more difficult for you.

“I want my own bed.” Ryan declared as he tossed his shoes somewhere in the corner. Natasha sighed from behind him as she grabbed the offending items to place them inside the closet. Emma followed after her brother as she plopped onto the second bed.

“I want my own too.” She smiled sweetly up at you.

“Um, one of these was for your mom,” You scratch the back of your head. Natasha’s eyes fly to yours. “I just didn’t want to assume that you wanted to sleep in bed with me.” You try to mumble but by the mischievous smirk on Emma’s face, she’s heard you. What was with her and this matchmaking thing she has going on? Ryan seems to be in on it too as he looks between the two of you.

“We think the kids should have their own room. No mommies allowed.” Ryan shrugs as though he’s not trying to hurt your feelings.

“I’m being kicked out by my own kids.” Natasha rolls her eyes. “I am fine sleeping there. With you.” Natasha tries to appear nonchalant.

“Okay, well let’s take your bags right in here,” You grab for one of Natasha’s suitcases and she follows you into the next room. The door is still open when you hear Emma’s little voice trail into your room.

“Do you think they’re going to make a baby?”

“You need a penis to do that,” Ryan tells her as if it’s obvious.

Your eyes widen and look to Natasha for answers.

“There was a kid, Connie Clark, in Ryan’s class who apparently had ‘the talk’ with her parents so naturally she came to school and told everyone.” Natasha wheeled her bag to the closet. “Which means Ryan told Emma which also means I had to have a very awkward conversation with them about their bodies, autonomy, and the very, very basic parts of where babies come from.” Right. Another thing you missed. While you did find it a bit funny it was only a reminder that you were missing out on a lot. Natasha and you have always had those conversations with the kids together.

“Seems there still may be a few things we have to discuss.” Natasha shook her head. She looks at the bed and the side you’ve taken.

“I can sleep on the pull-out couch they have,” You tell her, and she holds up a hand to stop you from speaking.

“Is sleeping with me going to upset you?”

“No, no, I just don’t want to move too fast with you and mess things up.”

“Well if all we’re doing is sleeping you can’t mess things up,” Natasha assures you. She moves to pull you to sit on the bed. “I came because I wanted to. I came because I want this to work.”

“Me too,” You confess. You find yourself focusing on her lips.

“You know I never did get a proper hello kiss,” Natasha says. She leans over to caress your cheek just as you turn to her. You don’t hesitate this time. Kissing Natasha was all you ever wanted to do. It’s the first time your lips have been on hers since the day in the kitchen. On Emma’s birthday. It lasts longer than you anticipated as you allowed yourself to get lost in Natasha. It’s the sneaky giggling from behind you that causes you to pull away. You can’t tell which one of them has made those obscene kissing noises but you’re sure you can take a guess. “Our kids are assholes.” Natasha opens her eyes slightly. There’s that glint of happiness in her eyes you haven’t seen in a while. Her guard is down.

“That they are,” You bring your hand up to Natasha’s lip to wipe your gloss from a corner of her mouth. Her eyes darken in lust and for a second you wonder if you’re going to survive the night with her in the same bed. You clear your throat and look over to the open door that connects your room. “Okay, you two, let’s get you fed. Where are we going to eat today?” You stand from the bed. You leave Natasha sitting there with her thoughts as you wrangle the kids.

******************

Lunch with the family is fun. It’s amazing how easily you’re able to slip back into your roles with them. Ryan talks to you about his new leggo set while Emma pretends she’s a queen as she sips her lemonade. Natasha is content to watch you interact with them both. They’ve missed you it’s clear and you’ve missed them just as much. There’s a message on your phone that chimes and you tuck it away for later. Whoever it is can wait. You took your meetings earlier this morning with the sole purpose of spending time with your family. Nothing would ruin this for you.

******************

The next destination on your list is the Sea Life Orlando Aquarium. You want to say you bought the tickets for the kids but you can feel Natasha vibrating with excitement as she grips your hand. Sometime during your entry into the aquarium, her hand slipped into yours and she never let go. The kids walked ahead of you as you entered the first hall. Seeing the kids happy with the sea life was amazing, seeing Natasha excited was an entirely different feeling. She didn’t have much of a childhood to go and do all of this. During the time you dated and throughout your marriage, there were times when you’d take her to experience things for the first time. The aquarium was her favorite. Despite how much she protested the idea of an animal she loved them. Especially sea animals.

The 360 aquarium proved to be the most fun as Natasha crouched down with the kids to point out the different types of fish. She smiled widely turning to see if you were paying attention as Ryan read from the information slate. It looks beautiful on her. Happiness. Her smile stops you in your tracks as you watch the way she interacts with them. The way she loves them. She guides them while reading about the fish whenever she gets a chance. You didn’t doubt that a lot of it she already knew. As you continued through the aquarium you almost expected Natasha to take your hand again and she did. It all felt right.

******************* It’s later that night that you feel the awkwardness of your situation. How even after nine years of marriage you’ve gone through a divorce that has changed the both of you. After helping Natasha put the children to bed you both go through your night routines separately. While Natasha is in the shower you check emails and answer back any that you find pressing. You roll your eyes when you find that Tony wants to put a real shark tank in one of his hotels. Totally not your problem right now. You send him a quick text before plugging your phone up for the night. You didn’t hear the shower shut off or Natasha exit the bathroom until she was sitting on the bed in a silk pajama set. It’s a plain shirt and shorts but it does manage to turn you on with the amount of skin you’re seeing. Natasha dries her hair with a towel and it’s then you notice her arms are more defined than you last remember them.

You move to sit next to her and she stops her towel drying to look at you. You take the towel into your hands to help her. She melts into you as she allows you to take on the task.

“Today was fun,” Her voice is raspy and filled with exhaustion. The activities of today are catching up to her.

“Yeah,” You say. When you’re done you toss the towel onto a nearby chair. You could deal with it later. You lower your arms to rest them at Natasha’s waist as you try to keep your composure. She smells like vanilla and coconuts. It’s only recently that she’s used a soap that has a scent. Being a spy she was always very diligent in not making herself noticeable in any way.

She stiffens in your arms just before she allows you to continue. With your left hand, you sweep her hair to her other shoulder to expose her neck. You press a tentative kiss against the flesh before trailing more down her shoulder. Natasha sighs as your touches become more firm. Your hands rub her sides and move down to the top of her thighs. You massage her skin as she leans further into you. It’s not inherently sexual but you can feel yourself becoming wetter just at the feel of Natasha. You dare to run your fingers up the leg of her shorts. Natasha allows you to. Her skin is smooth and soft under your fingers. At least until you feel the raised skin a little higher on her thigh. It’s at an awkward angle and it would be hidden behind her shorts but probably noticeable in a bikini. It’s higher up on her thigh. You feel around it feeling her once again stiffen as you try to assess the freshness of this wound.

“It was four months ago.” Natasha’s voice is devoid of any emotion. You furrow your brows. “I was in Madripoor with Steve and we took down a few guys interfering with S.H.I.E.L.D.’s database. Stabbed me right in the leg before he got away.” How didn’t you know this? Where were the kids at the time? Did she take care of herself while tending to them? “It’s old news. Seriously.”

“I’m sorry, Natasha.” You distance yourself more for her than you. “I’m so sorry.” You say for really no reason at all. You’re not the one that stabbed her or sent her on the mission. Natasha could take care of herself.

“Me too.” She whispers before she climbs into the bed. Your moment of intimacy is over and you know the both of you are too tired to discuss the implications of that. You hate that this even needed to be discussed. You felt like a stranger when it came to Natasha. She’s been through so much these past few years and you have a feeling you’re only scratching the surface. You climb onto your side of the bed, reaching for the string of the lamp to turn it off, as you think about just how much you’ve missed.

******************

The next day proves to be different for all of you. Work has you swamped with meetings that run over more than usual. There are only a few more days you have left here in Florida and you’d rather be spending them with your family. Disney World was supposed to be today. You promised them. Again. Yet you have to shoot a quick text to Natasha informing her to take them on her own as you don’t see yourself getting out of here any time soon. You don’t want to imagine how pissed she would be and how disappointed they would be.

You notice your phone go off throughout the day but you’re too busy to get into it. You know it’s Natasha keeping you updated. She’s probably sent you so many pictures and videos of the kids. Hopefully, you’ll be done with your last meeting in time for dinner. As a creative director, you can’t leave things to the other employees. Not like this. So you hunker down and keep pushing through in hopes of getting back to the hotel with your family.

It’s dark when you enter the hotel room. You cross the room to kick off your shoes before tiptoeing to Emma and Ryan’s bedroom. They’re fast asleep. Emma with her blanket tucked into her and Ryan with a new toy by his side. You kiss both of their heads before returning to your room.

You notice the balcony door is open and the cool breeze from there. Natasha is sitting in one of the chairs peering out at the pool below you. You’re on the third floor so not too high up but it’s still an impressive view. You decide to join her.

“Hey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that would take so long. We had to go over contracts, marketing, things with legal.” You tell her as you move to give her a kiss on her forehead. You sit down in the chair beside her. Natasha glances at you for a second before returning her gaze back to the view. There’s a silence that sits between the two of you before she speaks.

“Did I make a mistake coming here?” Natasha asks. She picks up her glass of red wine to sip from it.

“What, Nat, no.” You tell her.

“Hmm,” She swallows the wine. She sets down her cup and looks over to you. “It shouldn’t hurt. I should be used to it by now. You are too busy for us. We don’t fit into this new life you’ve made and no matter how much you’re trying it’s just not working.” Your heart drops as you realize you really did mess up.

“I’m-”

“You’re sorry.” Natasha finishes for you. “I know. I think we would have been fine if you’d bothered to answer any of the texts I sent you. If you bothered to reply at all. I’m not pushy and I’m not clingy. You know this. I couldn’t help but feel I was back in that same space of being the doting and loving housewife who waits and waits and begs for their spouse to love them.”

“You don’t have to beg with me, Natasha.” You assure her. “I didn’t think it would bother you for me to give this one day. I mean this is a work trip.”

“That you invited us to.” She reminds you.

Right.

“I changed all of my schedules. The rest of the week is open to be with you guys.” You inform her. Natasha tilts her head to see if you’re telling the truth. You are.

“Can I ask you what changed?” Natasha suddenly asks. “What shifted for you? You had been creative director when we started dating. The past few years you’ve been distant. You can’t just say you’re busy. We’ve both always been busy.”

“Nat,” You sigh. You really didn’t want to get into this. At her look you know it’s now or never. “I don’t know.” It’s the truth. “After we had Emma I began to feel lost. I felt like I lost who I was and the only way to salvage that was work. I felt weighed down by something and I couldn’t quite tell what it was. We had opposite schedules and it all was just so easier to be at work and know my role there.”

“You felt like we weighed you down?”

“Nat, no, that’s not what I’m saying.” You shake your head. “I felt the opposite. I felt happy. I felt loved but I was afraid. That eventually I’d become the imposter that I felt since I was a little girl. Eventually, it would all blow up in my face. But it’s not so black and white. We grew apart for a bit. We distanced ourselves in more ways than one.”

“Right,” Natasha says.

“Natasha, you have to understand that while I take the blame for everything I’ve done you’re not as innocent as you think.” You want to take it back before you fully said it. It could have been worded differently. The look in her eyes tells you that much. Too late.

“What did I do? Please tell me.” Natasha sits up a bit straighter.

“Nat, I’m not trying to be combative.” You glance behind you to make sure the children aren’t coming. “I meant that both of us have had times where we were less than nice to each other. I remember that day a few years ago you came home and started arguments for no real reason at all.”

“There was always a reason.” Natasha frowned.

“So tell me what!” You say a bit louder than necessary. “Everything I did to apologize and make better it never happened. As much as you’d like to think that you were being the perfect wife there are moments where I just couldn’t make you happy. We didn’t know how to work through our problems. That much is clear. The entire reason for the divorce was to give us both that breath of air.”

“As if you didn’t have it before,” Natasha mutters.

“Fuck, Nat,” You cry out. “This is exactly what happens. You beat around the bush. You don’t say what you mean until you’re angry and ready to throw it in my face. Do you want me to say I was busy? Yes, I’ll admit that. Do you want me to say how I’ve disappointed our kids? I’ll admit that too. Do you want me to say that I’m the sole reason our marriage went to shit? Not going to happen.”

“That’s not what I want.” Natasha looks down at her hands.

“Then tell me, I’m not Wanda, I don’t. I can’t read minds.” You wave your hand for her to look at you. “If I did it would save me a lot of trouble let me tell you. What is it that you want from me, Nat?”

“I wanted you to be there,” Natasha shouts over you. “I wanted you to be there. Okay.” She’s speaking past tense.

“What, Nat, be there for what?” Your voice is lower and more hushed as you realize how broken she sounds. Her tears are falling quicker this time and it startles you. “Nat?”

She looks down at her hands avoiding your gaze as she speaks. “Do you remember November 5th a few years ago? I kept nagging you about an appointment we had.” You shake your head in the negative. “Well, I do because I programmed it into both of our calendars.” At your look of confusion, she continues. “You had an impromptu work trip and I figured you just forgot about the day and that I could just reschedule. But I had this bright idea and I went to the doctor’s alone.” Natasha rolls her eyes at herself. “So I went. I wanted to know for myself. Whether I could.” Natasha isn’t speaking in complete sentences which still leaves you a bit confused and you’re catching on quickly. Your eyes widen. You’re putting two and two together. You remember it now. The trip had been a month-long and had taken up all of your energy. You remember her calling you and you being excited about finally making progress with work. It takes everything in you to recall the way she sounded. Over the phone, Natasha sounded different but you thought she was just missing you. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“No, no, no,” You shake your head. You don’t know if it’s possible but your brain is thinking before you can stop it. “Please, Natasha.” You move from your chair to sit on your knees in front of her. Had she been pregnant? Did she miscarry? How could you not have noticed? You want to puke with the thought of Natasha clutching her stomach in pain as she lost her baby. Your baby. Alone. She can see the wheels turning in your head.

“It never happened.” She reveals. “Even after the reversal of the tubal ligation that the Red Room gave me, it didn’t happen. The doctor said that with my line of work and how much trauma I’ve taken to my abdomen even with IVF, the chances of it happening were slim to none.” She lowers her eyes to her lap. This is the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen Natasha and you know it’s taking a lot out of her to tell you this. “I just… I wanted to give you a baby.” Natasha blinks back the tears and your heart shatters instantly. “I wanted to feel them inside of me. I wanted my belly to grow too. I wanted that for myself and I know it’s stupid that I ever thought I could.” Natasha’s bottom lip trembles and you know she’s trying to keep herself from crying any further.

“You’re not stupid for wanting that, Tasha.” You reach your hand up to take hers in yours.

“Aren’t I? I mean, before I met you, I knew it could never happen and I was fine with it.” Natasha shakes her head. “I was fine with never having that. I resented you for giving me hope. I resented you for being what I couldn’t. That’s when the fighting continued. You didn’t notice and all I wanted for you was for you to hold me and tell me things were going to be okay.”

“And I just worked and worked and assumed that you weren’t happy because I wasn’t making you happy.” You summarize. Fuck.

“Please don’t blame yourself for what I just told you.” Natasha frowns. “ I didn’t lie. I was still happy with you. I still wanted you. I wanted that depression to go away and I wanted to forget I ever even tried. I wanted us to push forward.”

“Instead we became something entirely different.” You say. Natasha nods in agreement. “We were too many things at once without ever really being together at the time. We grew into something ugly and we never addressed it healthily. I became distant because I thought I couldn’t make you happy and then you thought the same. I just want to make it clear you’re not less of a woman than me because of this. I wanted you and still want you despite all of it. I love you, Natasha. I love you and I always have.”

“How do we fix this?” Natasha peers out over the balcony. “How do we fix us without falling into the same pattern?”

“We take it one day at a time.” You say. “We do the work. We stay honest. And I- I take off of work for a while.”

“What, y/n, you don’t have to do that.” Natasha looks at you again.

“No, I think I do,” You assure her. “At least for now. My family needs me. I want to be there for you.”

Natasha’s green eyes show just how much she’s hurt and heartbroken all at once.

“Okay,” She says finally. You stand to lead her back to the bed. She follows and waits for you to crawl under the covers. You raise the cover for her to climb in and you take her into your arms. She turns so that she’s the small spoon to your big one. She’s pressed so close to you and you never want to let her go. You can feel the sobs rack her body as she silently cries. You can feel your own tears drenching your pillow as you kiss the back of her head.

Marriage was hard. Marriage was tough. But so were you.

You and Natasha would work on things together. You would take it one day at a time just like you said.

---> next part

[amymbona]

I’m gonna need to know more about what happened after this!

He probably tells you about the boner few days later, leaving out that it was a result od seeing you in that beautiful dress. Just mentions some random model on the TV that he doesn't even find sexy at all. You're still kinda pissed at him, but the good news are enough to warm your angry heart.

Things continue in the same lane: practice two times a day, three proper meals and some snacks, helping Patrick wash himself and moving him from the wheelchair onto his bed. The arguments seem to have evaporate ld and you're happier too. Actually, you're literally glowing, spending some more time on your phone now that Patrick has stopped being a bitch and can go a few minutes without you assistance.

You manage to convince him to go out for a walk (or a drive, in the correct terminology) as well. At first, Patrick is hesitant, not wanting to deal with paparazzi that might be lurking around his place. He's not really that oblivious to the press and has read some articles that his manager sent him about you, a mysterious nurse living with the injured tennis star. Luckily, your calm and collected self is almost fully out of touch with social media, so it doesn't concern you, but Patrick is really fucking pissed.

You take him out for a stroll anyway, just around the neighbourhood. Patrick is all moody, muttering how he should have stayed at home instead, even though no one is particularly concerned by his sudden public appearance. And when two teenage boys approach the two of you, excitedly begging for a picture with Patrick, he can't refuse them. That's how the word spreads that he is doing much better.

You begin disappearing more often too, mostly in the evenings, your atrocious colleague filling in for you. Patrick hates the lady. She's even younger than you, constantly watching the TV or painting her nails. For the delicacy she spreads the pink nail polish with, her hands feel almost harsh on Patrick's body. Cold, weird, dishonest, and without a single attempt for gentle care. And the final thing that makes Patrick absolutely despise her is when she lets her mouth run loose and lets him know that you've been seeing some guy.

Patrick is furious, to say at least, absolutely fuming. It's like his whole world crumbles, like his whole world that the two of you have built crumbles and he's reduced to the same immobile shit he was three months ago. He... He thought you had a something. A connection. Doesn't it look like that? Your kind smiles directed at him, despite his childish behaviour, the way you stroke his shoulders and back when he's hurting, allowing him to rest his hand on your own chest when he gives you the puppy eyes. He's sure that you know him like the back of your hand, that you're the only person who truly believes in him, in his success, that he will heal. He's healing for you.

So one evening, when you're out on one of your stupid days, Patrick does the most idiotic thing possible. He hasn't attempted to walk yet, but a sudden wave of something close to rage, disdain, and maybe jealousy possesses him to get up from the wheelchair. He grips the back of his office chair, knees wobbly and weak, and then kicks his bare foot against the foot of the bed. And then again, and again, and again. He abuses himself until something snaps, a bone, presumably, and he falls to the ground with tears.

You rush to the hospital in one of your pretty dresses, having abandoned your mister perfect after receiving a call. Patrick is furious, refusing to let anyone else treat him, insisting that you are the only one who can touch him. He doesn't care that you're not s doctor, that you can't heal a broken foot in any way, but he won't allow anyone to do a single thing until you're by his side.

The side you're met with is a complete tragedy. The most furious and at the same time miserable version od Patrick you've ever seen. Laid on the white table and surrounded by a bunch of professionals, screaming, cursing and threatening to sue them if they dare lay a hand on him. You rush to his side, unable to remain angry, not when he's in pain. You only were told that he fell, that he hurt himself, and so you immediately begin questioning him, calling him stupid and exclaiming what the hell has he done. Patrick just squeezes your hand tightly and says it was an accident.

You spend the night huddled up in an uncomfortable plastic chair by Patrick bed, listening to the beeping rhythm of his heart, almost too calm for what has happened, his right foot covered by a heavy, white cast. Patrick almost begins feeling guilty when he wakes up, eyes settling on your poor form, the skirt od your pretty dress wrinkled from the uncomfortable night spent in the hospital. But it doesn't take too long for a smirk to replace the frown. He's happy, satisfied. You spent the night with him, not your stupid date.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay so TENATIVE predictions for season 4: it looks like they're going to be playing into the mandela effect. half the universe remembers the umbrella timeline, half the universe remembers the sparrow timeline, and the ONLY thing both groups remember is Ben.

I've been praying since day one that Ben will have memories of both lives in his head, and judging by the fact he appears to be Going Through It in the trailer I assume that'll be the case.

since Ben is at the center of the conspiracy, I almost want to say he's who they're supposed to be rescuing? like, maybe instead of One Ben Two Lives, it's Two Bens One Cup. I don't think they'll do that, though. They're probably trying to rescue Jennifer. HOWEVER I do think it would be really sexy if Nick Offerman and Megahn Mullally weren't playing a couple but were instead playing the same person from different universes (hence being named Gene and Jean), and they somehow found each other and that's why they're leading this conspiracy.

Mystery Jennifer is stressing me out. obviously by the glowing she's got something going on. I'm thinking there's a possibility she was erased from the family's memories after Ben's death- the trailer makes it seem like Reginald made Allison rumor them after the fact. there's probably a decent chance they all knew her, she lost control of her powers, Ben died, Reginald locked her away and erased all traces of her. maybe in the sparrow timeline she died instead, or maybe she was always locked up there and Ben was drawing her from memories that were already starting to leak through from the og timeline, but either way probably in trying to uncover how Ben died they figure out they have to save her. idk!

also, six is like. a random number of years I'm sorry. why wouldn't they just say five years later? maybe another thing to do with Ben bc umbrella Ben was number six? I'm probably reading too much into that one.

I'm truly SO scared they're gonna reveal none of them have spoken during the time skip. Five doesn't deserve that 😭😭. in my perfect world him and Viktor have an apartment but the show writers 100% forgot they said those two were best friends when they were kids judging by the rest of the series rip. when the Gene and Jean characters were first announced I thought maybe Five got stuck in the foster system and they took him in, and that could still be the case (maybe that's how they noticed the universe is a lie in the first place, the boy loves to Yap) but I think it's less likely now idk

if Diego and Lila's daughter isn't named Gracie....what was this all for. what was this all building towards. what's the point. LMFAO I know the popular fanon one is Anita (personally in my head I've been calling her Poppy and I Don't Know Why) but like Gracie is the only name that makes sense, Diego is Too Much of a mama's boy to accept anything else.

this one isn't a prediction it's just a demand- I DEMAND a white violin icon moment set to extraordinary girl by green day. they can 100% get away with just doing an instrumental version since Viktor's not a girl lmfao, but it literally Haunts Me that they didn't do that at the end of season 1 (or at LEAST play the opening of letterbomb when Viktor was in the basement hallucinating) so they NEED to make up for that. it's the last season. play the fucking song oh my God.

there might be too much going on to bring the sparrows back in any meaningful way, but like! I liked them! I especially wanted more Marcus last season, he and Viktor had good chemistry. and Fei was an icon. Why Are We Hiding Sloane Tho. I considered maybe they were rescuing Sloane, but like, Luther just seems a little too happy for that to be the case? that's why I also think Diego and Lila's kid isn't the one being rescued like I saw some theories suggest- Diego is so excited and Lila's grinning in the car scene. can't imagine their 5 year old is missing.

Five is absolutely gonna die. like I'm sorry since episode 1 there's never been a believable outcome where everything's okay and he lives. HOWEVER I think there's a very strong chance the series could end with the timeline is finally saved and set right, and grandpa Five died- but then right at the end 2002 baby Five shows up and gets stuck in the safe timeline. Five has been a walking paradox the whole series. it'd be bittersweet to lose the Five we love, but know that he's still technically getting a happy ending because he doesn't have to live through the apocalypse and become an assassin. I think that's like the best outcome we can hope for.

I think it'd be EXTREMELY funny if Reginald is just super nice now that Abigail is back. like the entire excuse for 30 years of insane behavior was that he missed his wife. bestie there are better ways to cope than abusing superpowered kids </3 but lmao I'm intrigued by him and Viktor being together in both trailers! I've always gotten the feeling that Viktor is one of his 'favorites' (to the best of his ability anyway), and from the brief childhood flashbacks we see that he had baby V acting as an assistant for him, so I'd like to see their relationship expanded a little bit. honestly I just want a lot about Reginald cleared up- he does give off the distinct impression that he actually cares about his kids, even though he's abusive. I'm assuming the explanation will be something along the lines of 'well I always planned to bring you back and safe in the New Universe', that he was approaching it as a 'they have to suffer now to save the universe, and then they can be happy' mindset. that would be interesting. but I'm also a little worried they'll wave his behavior off with 'oh he's an alien he just can't understand how he affected them', which, would suck writing-wise.

I'm worried about Allison- I'm sure they're gonna want her to have a full redemption by the end of the series, but what she did to Viktor and Luther last season...like I just don't know that they'll pull off a meaningful redemption, to where it's believable that they forgive her (other than the fact they're both softies and push overs). not with the shorter season, anyway! I *think* the person Viktor was punching in the trailer was Allison. but I'm worried that instead of actually fixing the issue the writers will just have her do a sacrifice play. especially since, bless her, she's the least sacrificial person in the family, so I could see the argument that it'll be a meaningful character growth moment, but like...if they don't actually have her believably fix her mistakes it'll just feel like a lazy writing move. also, I love her and I don't want any of them to die. as I said, the only death I'm willing to accept is Five's WITH the promise of baby Five getting a happy ending.

I want the Handler to come back, even if it's only for one scene. sorry, I think her absence was one of the low points of season 3.

I think if Grace appears in this season at all it won't be the robot version we're used to, but an older version of her human self that Diego met in the 60s. could be very bittersweet. I just don't think the robot exists in this universe bc honestly if my husband revived me from the dead but then I found out he's been living without me just fine, but made a robot copy of a pretty young fling he had after my death and seemingly can't live without her. I'd be a little pissed! sorry! lmao that said I also have personally been headcannoning that Grace is actually a cyborg and not a robot this whole time, the kids just don't know because of all the insane protocols Reginald set up, so if they do something with that instead I'll be really excited.

Diego and Lila's daughter deserves powers<3

alright I think that's all I got for now. but I wanna hear more theories!!

[kpopsexstories]

TXT MOST MEMORABLE SEX – Story #1: ALL FIVE MEMBERS

A new story/member every Monday between September 16-October 28, 2024. Click here to view the posting schedule.

Story: Yeonjun, Kai, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Soobin bond when they go skinny dipping in Hawaii. A scary Halloween night gets sexual when they masturbate together in the dark.

Type: VANILLA/MASTURBATION ONLY

Content: Masturbation, Outdoors

Word Count: 6,416

Members: All 5 Members of TXT

Story #1: ALL FIVE MEMBERS

It was Halloween. The five boys of TXT were in the US, Hawaii to be exact. Funny enough, not because Hueningkai was born there, but because Soobin’s childhood friend had moved there from Korea.

At the end of a fun and drunken night they dropped their costumes on a beach and went swimming. Naked. It was the first time they all saw each other in the nude, and it became a positive shared and vivid memory for them all.

On this eve – Hallows Eve – there was a party in a suburban villa. Beomgyu came up to his friend and asked, “How do you know all these people?” He felt a little out of place, but Soobin was in his element.

“After my friend left Korea I've visited loads of times,” Soobin explained. He seemed to be best friends with nearly half the kids there, and it felt good to be relatively normal for a change.

Hueningkai too was filled with an exaggerated pride to be in America. He was famously born in the island state in the Pacific. But because he was only a month old when he moved away, the ego boost he got from showing the island off to his Korean friends was perhaps a little misplaced. He had no memories and no real connection to the place.

In the late afternoon, before the party started, the boys were gathered on the upper floor of the house in which Soobin's friend now lived. A floor below, the friend's sister and her girlfriends were hanging out. Several of the boys had a crush on several of the girls, which only made the trip more exciting. Though in this story that's beside the point.

The boys talked and laughed and teased and drank while they got ready for the party. They assessed their costumes and put on their makeup. They got more than a little tipsy before the party had even begun.

Hueningkai decided to go as a skater boy. Soobin dressed up as count Dracula. Yeonjun wore a tight pink t-shirt and matching tight shorts – no one really knew what the hell he was supposed to be. Taehyun had found a Spider Man outfit, and Beomgyu was an axe murderer. It was building up to be a fun night indeed.

The party they went to was hosted by the childhood friend, but it took place in a different suburban villa at the other end of town. The sister was there too, and many friends of friends. This was before the boys got so famous that they couldn't hang out in public, at least in the US.

There was alcohol, there was dancing, and it was a blast. There was more than a little flirting going on in all kinds of directions. Beomgyu, the youngest, chatted with the same girl for most of the night, and Yeonjun in his eccentric and sexy pink outfit got more than a little attention. Soobin was all over the place and friendly with everyone.

But as the party came to an end – well past two in the morning – the boys left the house together. Alone. None of them got lucky with the opposite sex, or the same sex for that matter, and that was totally fine. It was never truly the goal anyway.

Everyone was more than happy with how the evening turned out, specifically the fact that they got to feel normal for a night. This wasn't pre-debut, after all. That in itself meant the world to them, and this became the last time ever they were able to be themselves so openly.

Yet the evening wasn't over. Drunk, full of adrenaline and endorphins, and with no work to wake up to or management to answer to, someone came up with a crazy idea. Okay, not just someone. It was Yeonjun – of course it was Yeonjun! – who came up with the idea: “Let's swim with the sharks.”

And that, my friends, brings us to what this story is really about: the time our boys went skinny dipping, and – believe it or not – actually ended up masturbating together in the dark. Yes, this really happened.

“Fuck no!” Soobin exclaimed. He was wearing a black t-shirt and pants, holding his cape and fake teeth in his hands. They walked slowly through the night on a dimly lit street.

Spider Man, aka. Taehyun, was so drunk he could hardly walk straight. He stumbled while he laughed at the idea. Beomgyu the axe murderer caught him and kept him from falling.

“Oh please, there aren't that many sharks here,” Hueningkai pointed out in a serious tone. He seemed a little offended. ”Sharks don't like humans anyway. It's a myth!”

“Yeah, but they do exist,” Yeonjun said and put on a playful, scary smile. ”It's Halloween! I'm not ready to sleep. Let's do something scary.”

Soobin snickered. “Looking at Yeonjun's outfit is scary enough,” he said. It produced laughter from several of the boys.

“I could go for a swim,” Beomgyu said while playing with his axe. “My ears are ringing. It's nice and peaceful out here. I'm not ready to sleep yet either.”

“Me too,” Hueningkai said. He was wearing baggy clothes and a beanie, tossed his skateboard on the ground and briefly rolled ahead of his friends.

“We don't have swim suits,” Soobin pointed out.

“Don't be such a parent!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “We've all seen you naked before.”

It wasn't quite true, but Beomgyu went along with it anyway. “Unfortunately,” he muttered, but no one really heard him so the joke didn't land.

“Fuck, I'm too horny to undress in front of you,” Taehyun said and adjusted the bulge of his suit. That was only partly a joke.

“The fuck?” Yeonjun said and laughed out loud. ”Is it my sexy outfit?”

“The sister…”

“Fuck you!” Soobin exclaimed. “I've known her my whole life.”

The boys all laughed, stumbling through the streets, likely awakening more than a few local residents as they made their way through an otherwise quiet neighborhood.

Soobin eventually caved in. “Fine,” he said. “I'm drunk and hot. This place is worse than Korea! Let's swim.”

“Yes!” Yeonjun exclaimed, and the boys all felt happy that the evening wasn't over. The idea of late night skinny dipping actually excited them.

The horny joke wasn't really a joke though, and Taehyun wasn't the only one to feel sexually frustrated on this night. As fun as the evening had been, landing a girl would indeed have been a major bonus.

“Fuck, maybe it's these tight clothes, but I'm horny too,” Yeonjun said.

“That girl… what was her name?” Beomgyu asked and glanced at Soobin.

“What, you don't know?” Hueningkai almost shouted. “You were clinging to her all night!”

“I don't know her name, but I've met her before,” Soobin said.

“She was freakin’ hot!” Beomgyu added.

“You ever nail her?” Yeonjun asked and smirked at his friend.

“No!” Soobin exclaimed. “I said I've met her, I don't know her!”

He had never liked how rude Yeonjun could become when he was drunk, but he couldn't help but laugh at his silly friend. Sexual frustration was an understatement.

“Truth or drink,” Taehyun said. “Have you had sex with any of the people we met today?”

“That game is over,” Soobin said to get out of answering the question. “We don't have shots anyway.”

Yeonjun unwittingly saved him. “Where do we go though?” he asked, as if he hadn't heard Taehyun’s question.

“It's an island,” Beomgyu pointed out. “Pick a direction and keep walking until we hit water.”

Again, his joke was ignored. “I know a place,” Soobin said. “There's a bay not far from here. No one will be there at this hour.”

“Great!” Taehyun said. To tease his friends he added: “Then we can all be horny together, no one will see.”

“That's not what I meant,” Soobin exclaimed and laughed again. He picked up Hueningkai's skateboard from the ground and handed it over. “But it's too shallow for sharks so we'll be safe.”

“Then what's the point?” Yeonjun asked. He was dead set on the idea of swimming in dangerous waters.

“Sorry, of course there are sharks,” Soobin lied. “Actually, I have a friend who got bitten there once. I haven't been back there since.”

“Really?” Beomgyu asked. He looked genuinely shocked.

“Yeah! He spent a week in the hospital. Lost a leg and all. It's rare, but it can happen.”

“When was this?” Beomgyu asked. The others looked at each other and giggled.

“It was actually on Halloween, three years ago today.”

Beomgyu suddenly looked sceptical. The others burst out laughing at his gullability.

“Fuck you!” Beomgyu said and laughed too. “I liked it better when we talked about your friend's hot sister.”

Soobin sneered and quickly changed the subject. “Down this way,” he said and pointed.

So, instead of turning down the street on which they stayed for the week, the boys left the suburbs behind to go to the ocean.

The silence away from the party and the city was eary. Halloween or not, the open ocean in the dark was like a black hole, a scary sight in itself. And the boys wanted to be frightened, which meant the talk of sharks never ended.

Collectively, they had built up a nightmare image in their minds. Soobin guided them down a path, through a clearing in a forest, using the flashlight on his phone to illuminate the way. But as they left the forest path behind and their shoes sank into the sand, he turned it off. They all felt a pit in their stomachs, and it was indeed a thrilling sensation. Scary.

There was a rattling sound in the tree tops as the wind had picked up slightly. Little waves kept crashing against the shore, the only sign that they had indeed reached water. The moon was out which cast a low light over the scene. As they got closer to the massive body of blackness their eyes adjusted and saw the white foam of the ocean breaking and sinking into the sand.

“Fuck, I'm scared,” Taehyun said and playfully held on to Soobin's arm. This too was only half a joke.

None of the boys were horny or thinking about sex any longer, though it was unclear if any of them actually had been, or if they were only joking among friends. They certainly had been hard a few times at the party, but that was then. The bay, the ocean, the moonlight and the thought of sharks was a different world entirely.

And, to some of them, there was an additional scary element to the whole situation. Horny or not, not everyone was comfortable with getting naked in front of the others. This was relatively early in their career after all, and though they had all seen bits and pieces in different situations, they had never undressed so openly all together.

It was true that some of them had seen Soobin in the nude in the past. He certainly wasn't shy, and now, on the beach, he was the first to take off his shoes.

Hueningkai and Beomgyu had been naked in the same room before, but not in front of the others. In dressing rooms and at the gym, they were always the first to turn around and cover their private parts.

Yeonjun and Taehyun were frequent gym buddies. They often showered side by side, in the most platonic of ways, and at one point as trainees they had playfully compared dick sizes.

Still, they did know each other well after several years of living and working closely together. And though odd as it may seem, when all was said and done they did allow this night to turn sexual.

The two eldest of the group were quick to act on the opportunity for a late night swim. Drunk, happy and not seriously scared of neither the dark nor of nudity, Soobin and Yeonjun began to undress.

Soobin pulled down his pants and took off his shirt. In only his underwear, he folded his clothes neatly and placed them on the cape which he had laid out in the sand.

Yeonjun was happy to be rid of the tight shorts and pink shirt. They had been fun, but now nudity was funnier. He too was quickly down to only his underwear.

Taehyun wasn't as quick to act. He watched his friends take off their clothes, but the thought of the scary water did seriously worry him. His heart was beating fast, and sharks occupied his mind.

He was building up his courage though, and slowly unzipped his suit. He slid it down his upper body and the blue light reflected on his slim figure and broad shoulders. It felt pretty great to be free of the tight fabric.

Regarding the sharks, he told himself that there was nothing to be afraid of at all. He knew that Kai was right about them. If he were to swim, however, someone else would have to lead.

Beomgyu took a similar slow-but-willing approach. He placed his plastic axe in the sand like he was hacking a piece of meat. When the boys got naked before his eyes, Beomgyu carefully followed by unbuttoning his shirt.

Hueningkai didn't want to appear scared, but he was. Of two things: the dark, and of revealing his body so openly. Ironically, it was the dark that finally allowed him to take off his clothes too. He felt safe in the shadows and knew that despite the moonlight the others wouldn't fully be able to see him. At least that's what he convinced himself of.

Soobin, the mature leader that he was, started walking toward the edge of the water. Yeonjun, standing in his underwear, quickly stopped him.

“Nu-uh,” he said loudly. Soobin turned around to face the sound. ”It's not skinny dipping if you're not naked.”

“Are you serious?” Soobin asked and laughed.

“Yeah! Come on, it's part of the fun. Take those off!”

Soobin grinned. He wasn't against the idea of being completely naked, but he had assumed they'd all at least keep their underwear on.

Taehyun and Beomgyu didn't think much of it, but Hueningkai's heart suddenly sank. He knew he was being silly, but he really wasn't comfortable in his own skin. The idea of being seen naked genuinely worried him.

Yeonjun pressed on though, and Soobin finally adapted to the situation. Standing a distance away from the boys, a grin still on his face, he slid his underwear down and kicked them off. He picked them up and threw them in the general direction of his cape.

The boys all glanced at his dick, or at least the direction of where it would be. They could see the silhouette of Soobin's tall body, but not the details on it.

Soobin quickly turned around again and dipped his feet in the water. “Hey, it's actually quite nice!” he exclaimed.

It certainly wasn't warm, but the alcohol in their blood and the hot air around them made it warm enough. They were all still sweaty from the party and all the dancing, and cooling down in the ocean felt like an enticing relief.

Yeonjun was next to follow. He carelessly kicked his underwear in the sand and came running after his friend. Soobin produced a high-pitched scream when water splashed up his legs.

Taehyun stood fully naked in the sand, observing his friends. If they could overcome the thought of sharks, he would too. He was determined to. But not quite yet. His mind still couldn't grasp the idea of why the hell they wanted to subject themselves to such a heart pounding danger. And so, he just stood there, dick dangling between his legs, not moving a muscle.

Beomgyu, who like Kai wasn't keen on getting naked, had overcome his fears though. Seeing Soobin with his ass out, ankle deep in water, and Yeonjun run ahead and suddenly throw himself into the sea with a happy scream and a big splash, put him at ease. If everyone was getting naked, he wasn't going to chicken out.

He calmly walked to the water. Taehyun finally followed. Soon, four young men were bathing naked together in the dark, and only Hueningkai remained.

“Come on, get in here!” Soobin encouraged him.

“What's the matter? Got a boner or something?” Yeonjun asked.

“Alright,” Kai said, and finally took his pants off. He made up his mind and eventually joined his friends.

The five naked men splashed around, pushed each other, laughed and played. Things actually got quite physical.

Until they stopped. The water suddenly calmed, and a new silence surrounded the scene.

They stopped talking and laughing, and each enjoyed how calm things were around them. The rush of alcohol was settling and the water felt great as they rocked up and down in gentle waves.

Beomgyu took a few long strokes to swim further out, and challenge his fears even more than he already was. But when all he could see was a massive black wall in front of him, he regretted the decision and hastily turned back. His heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to have a panic attack.

The fear was quickly erased when Yeonjun gave him something else to think about. He interrupted the quiet and serene experience of floating in the ocean at night, fully nude and surrounded by friends, when he decided to make another joke.

And this, my friends, is the moment you've all been waiting for: the moment this fun and thrillingly scary evening with friends became sexual. Though there was no actual sex involved, the five boys went as far together as they ever would.

“Look!” Yeonjun said and grinned. The boys all turned in his general direction.

At first they didn't know what they were supposed to look at. Yeonjun was floating on his back, facing the stars, an arm slowly making circles in the water to keep his body from sinking.

“The fin of a shark!” he clarified when he didn't get a reaction.

Taehyun, who was closest to him, was the first to react. When his eyes focused on the right spot in the low moonlight he finally saw it, and his brain eventually caught on.

At an arm’s length from Yeonjun's floating face, just below his stomach, something poked straight up out of the water. Yeonjun moved his entire body to make the shark fin glide along the surface, as if it would make the image more obvious to his friends.

For a second, because he hadn't yet seen anything, Beomgyu's heart stopped. He was genuinely scared. Was there really a shark around them? He could no longer feel the bottom of the sea and once again he felt like a panic attack was coming.

But the terrible feeling stopped when Taehyun burst out laughing. “Oh my god!” Taehyun exclaimed and swam away from his friend. “You're crazy!”

“What?” Soobin asked when he still couldn't figure out what was going on in the darkness around him. “Oh,” he added when Yeonjun swam backwards past him, and he finally spotted the tip and shaft of Yeonjun's hard dick poking out of the water.

Hueningkai too bust out laughing. If anything, Yeonjun's silly antics made him feel less uncomfortable about being naked himself.

When Beomgyu finally spotted the dick, his fear was replaced with another kind of excitement. Perhaps it was the relief he felt after the shock and fear his mind had just gone through that caused him to react irrationally. Or maybe it was the girl he had spent most of the night with.

Whatever the case, when he spotted Yeonjun's hard dick floating around, he immediately swam up to his friend and grabbed it.

Yeonjun quickly stopped circling and hid his lower body under the surface. “What the fuck?” he exclaimed. He let his body sink and splashed around with his arms to protect himself. “What are you doing? Don't touch it!”

Beomgyu let the shaft go as it disappeared. “What?” he said with a grin. “Kai said they're friendly.”

“They are,” Hueningkai confirmed and laughed. Even Yeonjun, who had been violated by his friend, couldn't help but giggle.

And, when the surprise settled, he realized that someone touching his hard dick in the dark actually felt nice. He was incredibly horny, the situation was exciting, and if Beomgyu could joke like that, he was more than happy to play along.

“Alright,” he said and let his lower half resurface. “You can pet it.”

But Beomgyu, who had realized how awkward, wrong and totally embarrassing his action had been, was no longer keen.

“What, you actually want me to?” he asked. His face was turning red but of course no one could see that in the dark. “I was only joking!”

“It felt good,” Yeonjun admitted. Like Soobin, he never thought nudity – or sex – was something to be ashamed of.

Taehyun genuinely loved the whole thing as it played out in front of him. He too was surprised by Beomgyu's actions, but just like the idea of swimming with sharks was thrilling, so was the idea of his friends touching each other sexually. It was dangerous – it could potentially break their friendship just as easily as it could bring them closer – and that feeling of doing something forbidden excited him.

“Come on, do it!” he encouraged, partly as a way to tease his friends, partly because it secretly turned him on too.

“Yeah, pet the shark,” Kai concurred. He had been subjected to peer pressure himself just moments ago, and maybe he wanted to draw attention away from himself.

Yeonjun smiled in the dark and moved his arms to bring his floating body closer to Beomgyu. Beomgyu, who was genuinely curious, was thinking fast. When the dick approached him in the water, his instincts took hold of him again and he reached out for it.

Yeonjun closed his eyes and moaned. Soobin, Taehyun and Hueningkai laughed nearby. Beomgyu kicked his legs to stay above the surface, but stopped breathing as he wrapped his fingers around Yeonjun's shaft.

“Ohh,” Yeonjun repeated. “Oh yeah, the shark likes it.”

The boys couldn't hold it together. The laughter was so loud anyone living near the beach could surely hear them.

“Careful, or he'll come on you,” Soobin joked.

Yeonjun was surprisingly fast to respond: “Yeah, I might.”

This was too far for Beomgyu, who quickly let go and retracted the hand, causing splashes and waves around him as he moved.

“No, don't stop,” Yeonjun pleaded and repeated: “The shark likes it.”

“What, you want me to jerk you off?” Beomgyu asked and put on a disgusted expression. He laughed, and no one really knew if it was out of enjoyment or nervousness. As fun and sexually exciting as they all found the whole thing, they were nervous about going too far in the eyes of their friends. They all wondered what the others were thinking in this moment.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun almost whispered and swam closer still. He offered no explanation or reasoning for why it would be okay.

Beomgyu hesitated. He had actually gotten hard himself but was naturally afraid to reveal the fact. He was drunk and this was all in good fun, but he didn't want to give the others an opportunity to laugh at him.

Yeonjun's confidence and encouragement inspired him though. He finally reached out and grabbed the make-belief shark fin for the third time.

At this point, everyone was holding their breaths. Suddenly all of the boys stopped laughing and the atmosphere in the air shifted. Everyone stared wide-eyed and in anticipation at Beomgyu and Yeonjun.

Floating slowly close together, their eyes met. Beomgyu started moving his hand, gently caressing the shaft. Then he moved his own pelvis closer to his friend, and the back of Yeonjun's hand brushed against his boner.

“Oh?” Yeonjun said and smiled wide. He grabbed Beomgyu's shaft under the surface.

By now, everyone around them was horny as fuck. You could blame the alcohol, the nudity, the thrill and safety of the dark ocean, that the evening was an unusual situation to begin with, or the boys’ vivid imagination. Reality was probably a mix of everything. But the truth is, there was not a soft dick in the bay, and all five boys thoroughly enjoyed what was going on.

At the sight of his friends pleasuring each other, Soobin reached down and grabbed his own cock. He stood up and found a good footing, water reaching to his chest. Taehyun and Kai looked at each other and giggled, but quickly returned their gaze to Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

What finally tipped things over, and took the whole situation from spontaneous and uncertain fun to a literal sex act, was what Taehyun said next: “Fuck, that's hot.”

They had all been thinking it. They all liked what they were seeing, not necessarily in a gay way but due to human nature and the effects of physical, sexual touch. A barrier had been broken down, and all five were willing to join for the sake of a thrilling orgasm. Their friendship had just reached a whole new level.

“Ahh,” Soobin moaned softly, alerting everyone to the fact that he was jerking off in the water.

“I can't reach the bottom,” Hueningkai said and swam closer to shore. When he found his footing, he stood with his shoulders above the surface, mouth half open, and his arm reaching into the sea while moving slowly as he pleasured himself.

Soobin stood a short distance away from him. Taehyun joined them and looked on in amazement. Yeonjun and Beomgyu kept treading water while stroking each other.

“I can't keep this up,” Beomgyu eventually said, and Yeonjun quickly understood. Without letting go of Beomgyu's cock, he swam backwards toward their friends.

Soon, all five were standing chest deep, glancing at each other's silhouettes in the moonlight, while pleasuring themselves or, in Yeonjun and Beomgyu's case, each other. When the two didn't stop touching each other, Soobin and Taehyun shared a look.

Soobin was the one to take initiative. He pushed through the water to get closer when Taehyun nodded. He smiled at his friend while reaching down, and without a word grabbed Taehyun's cock.

Yeonjun saw what was happening, and he caught Kai's glance, who was now the only one without a partner. “Come here,” he said softly.

Hueningkai was quick to comply. He swam up to his friends, and Yeonjun quickly touched his dick and stroke it.

“Holy shit,” Beomgyu said when the three of them were close together in a circle.

Soobin and Taehyun wanted in on the action. They moved closer to the circle and added themselves to it.

As they found their comfort and rhythm, the circle became whole. Each man with a dick in their hand, one that wasn't their own. None of them said a word. None of them were thinking straight. No one was laughing any longer.

This was truly an unexpected and unbelievable situation to them all, but they were also all surprisingly happy about it. Maybe they would regret it tomorrow when the reality of what they had done settled, but in this moment no one regretted a thing.

They rocked up and down in the gentle waves, and occasionally glanced at each other with their mouths half open. Yeonjun began to pant audibly. Soobin closed his eyes and started jerking Taehyun faster. Kai felt a great sensation rush to his groin as someone – he wasn't quite sure who – pleasured him. He held on tighter around Beomgyu's shaft.

“Oh yeah,” Soobin suddenly moaned. “Fuck!”

This is insane! they all thought. And awesome.

Soobin's words were an immense turn-on. Hands started moving faster still, water splashing gently around them.

Yeonjun let out a loud groan. “Ahh,” he said and grimaced, though none of his friends could make out the look on his face.

Beomgyu could feel it though, as Yeonjun's body shook and his hip pressed forward into his hand.

“Ahhh!” Yeonjun repeated, and instantly everyone knew what was happening. The shark had attacked.

Beomgyu quickly let go of the shaft. “Did you just come?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Ahh, yeah!” Yeonjun said with a big grin on his face.

“Ugh, disgusting!” Beomgyu exclaimed and swam away from the sperm he now knew was all around him.

Soobin laughed. “What did you think would happen?”

No one else had a problem with it, or at least they didn't show any signs of it. In fact it only made them eager to come too. They kept on stroking each other faster.

Hueningkai, however, let go of Beomgyu's shaft and grabbed his own. Soobin's hand moved away from him when Kai took over, and started focusing on himself too. The others followed, and soon everyone had their hands between their own legs.

Soobin was next to come. He grimaced excessively in the dark and panted heavily, not at all ashamed to unload in front of his friends. It wasn't as if they could see anything anyway.

Hueningkai too was close, but he struggled. He held his breath, still somewhat ashamed to show himself and a little shocked by what they were doing. The deep water also made it harder for him to climax.

Beomgyu beat him to it. He felt like being funny and suddenly swam on his back and allowed his shaft to appear above the surface, just as Yeonjun’s had earlier.

“Look,” he said while stroking his cock as fast as he could. His breathing was strained and shallow as he kept his face clear of the water. He jerked himself as fast as he could while kicking his legs to stay afloat. “A wh… A whale,” he moaned when he orgasmed.

Everyone stared at the cock, as Beomgyu came and shot his load in the air.

“A sperm whale,” Soobin joked and they all laughed.

Only Hueningkai and Taheyun, who had stayed oddly quiet, remained. “Need help?” Soobin asked.

“I can’t do it in the water,” Kai admitted.

“Me neither,” Taehyun said. “I think I’m done.”

“No way,” Yeonjun said. He had come down from his own orgasm and started swimming closer to shore. “We’ve come. You have to as well.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Kai said, but the others wouldn’t let him off the hook. Soobin, who had been the one who pleasured Kai before they started focusing on themselves, swam closer and grabbed Kai’s cock a second time.

“SHARK!” Beomgyu suddenly exclaimed, and it startled everyone. In a real panic, he started flailing his arms and kicking his feet, to follow Yeonjun to shore as fast as he could.

The panicked reaction rubbed off. Suddenly everyone was fleeing for their lives, and all five hearts started racing. Adrenaline pumped as they all became genuinely terrified.

Water splashed around them. Hueningkai, who was slower to react, fell behind, and he freaked out when he realized no one was between him and the black wall behind them.

In shallower waters, they all stood up and started running. On dry land, they turned around and stared wide-eyed across the ocean.

“Where?” Soobin asked while his heart settled down.

“It was behind me,” Beomgyu said.

“Are you sure?” Yeonjun asked. He was suddenly skeptical when his heart calmed itself.

“Yes!” Beomgyu almost shouted. He turned his head back and forth in an attempt to spot something and prove that he was right. A fin, the water breaking, any hint that he had in fact seen what he thought he had seen. “I mean… I think so.”

Soobin started giggling. As they stood side by side on the beach, looking out across the water, they all did.

“Your mind is playing tricks on you,” Hueningkai said and laughed out loud. He wasn’t hard any longer as the scare had pushed his blood back to his brain.

Taehyun, however, still was, and Soobin was the first to notice his cock pointing straight out. “I do see another fin though,” he said calmly and smiled wide.

What the hell are we doing? Kai wondered in silence. Is this normal? Are we nuts?

Taehyun caught Soobin's stare and giggled. Yeonjun took a step forward and turned around to observe the naked men lined up in front of him. His soft dick swung from side to side.

“Come on,” he said with a naughty grin. “There’s no shark. And if there was we’re safe now. So, we wanna see you come.”

This isn't normal at all! Hueningkai concluded. But the others didn't seem to care if it wasn't.

Now, exposed on the beach, the situation felt much different though, compared to in the water. Less safe, or as if the time in the water hadn't been real life. They were in fact completely naked, horny so openly in front of their friends, and they had literally been jerking each other off. The reality of the situation suddenly started setting in for several of them. No one had expected or ever wished for the night to take this turn.

But it did, and all who had finished wanted Taehyun and Hueningkai to do the same. Taehyun was still hard, desperate to release, not ashamed the way Hueningkai was, and was quick to resume the stroking of his cock.

Hueningkai kept hesitating, but Soobin wouldn’t let it go. He returned to his friend, grabbed his dick, and never wiped the smile of his face.

No one said a word when he started rubbing Kai’s shaft. Kai let him, but he wasn’t smiling. If Soobin was okay with this, he was too. It felet incredible. He suddenly became determined to orgasm, as if it was a challenge and a matter of pride.

Taehyun looked at the pair while pleasuring himself. Beomgyu, who still felt certain he had seen something, altered between staring at the ocean and Soobin’s naked body towering next to their youngest member.

Yeonjun took a step closer. “Come on,” he said, while smiling softly at Kai. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Think of someone hot from the party or something.”

“Why are you so into this?” Beomgyu asked suspiciously, referring to Yeonjun and Soobin. But he kept an eye on the ocean, and no one responded to his question.

Hueningkai took Yeonjun’s advice. He closed his eyes, leaned a little forward while Soobin jerked him faster, and allowed his mind to wander.

Yeonjun took another step closer and put an arm on Kai’s back. Gently, he stroked and squeezed his friend's wet skin, looking up and down the full length of his body. For a moment it took Kai out of it, but then he started pretended that it was the warm hands of a sexy woman that were touching him.

Taehyun had gone quiet again. He stood in the sand and watched the scene unfold, and never took his hand off his own crotch. He squeezed, stroke and rubbed himself in silence, showing no signs of either like or dislike to what his friends were doing.

“Ahh, I’m gonna come!” Hueningkai suddenly announced. He hunched forward even further, and Soobin jerked him a little faster. Yeonjun grinned beside him and his hand never left Kai's body.

“Ahh,” Kai repeated. His pelvis thrust forward, Soobin’s hand slid all the way down to the root, and Kai abruptly came in the sand. “Ahh, fuck!”

The orgasm felt amazing. With two sets of hands and all eyes on him, and a beautiful girl in his thoughts, Hueningkai no longer felt any sense of shame or regret. The cum dripped out of him, dotting the dry sand while Soobin made sure his arm steered clear of it.

Taehyun behind them orgasmed in complete silence. He held his breath and showed no signs of coming except a slight tensing of his muscles. Standing broad-shouldered and wide-legged, he too shot his load in the sand.

When he released, his breathing became deep and audible. Beomgyu caught his eyes and giggled. Yeonjun looked over Soobin’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of their friend.

Soobin let go of Kai’s shaft. He kept on smiling and looking down between Kai’s legs, to witness the result of his efforts.

Suddenly, however, several of the boys felt weird about the whole thing. The fright of the alleged shark sighting was gone. They had gotten used to the dark and quiet surroundings. The alcohol had started to leave their soaked, naked bodies. Having released already, the sexual arousal went away and blood returned to their heads.

What the hell did we just do? several of them thought. But none of them said a word about it.

Instead, Soobin quietly started walking back to his cape. Taehyun and Beomgyu, who had locked eyes, both started giggling. And Yeonjun removed his hand from Kai’s back while smiling wide, as if helping his friend come was some sort of triumphant achievement.

“We better get home or my friend will worry,” Soobin said.

“Yeah,” Hueningkai agreed. He straightened his body and checked out the spots of sperm in the sand before he left it behind on the beach.

“It was a great party,” Beomgyu said. For the first time since they made it to land, he turned his back on the ocean.

“Scary, but fun,” Yeonjun agreed.

“I’m so tired,” Taehyun said. As they started walking he couldn’t help but take a peak at the naked bodies around him, though unlike before it suddenly felt wrong to do so.

“Me too,” Soobin agreed.

“Hey guys,” Yeonjun said. “I love you. I had a really good time today.”

Several of the others nodded in a silent agreement. These were their best friends, and on this night they felt closer than ever before. There were no secrets between them.

It would be weeks before any of them brought up what they had done on the beach in Hawaii. But at the end of the day they were happy, and the events that unfolded during their trip became a pleasant shared memory.

With time they spoke openly and fondly about their time at the beach, and frequently joked about that night. No one regretted what they had done even for a second, and secretly several of them would have liked to do it again. They never did.

A smut story for each individual member will be published every Monday from September 23 to October 21 (2024). Please look forward to them 😉🍆💦

[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic 1D fics]

Iconic fics by ...

- jaerie -

[1]

He stared with saucer-wide eyes at the wild so close up for the very first time, every minute twitch of the alpha’s face seeming exaggerated like Louis was looking at them through a high definition magnifying glass.  The flair of his nostrils with each breath, the tight clench of the muscles along his jaw and purse of his lips, the flitting of his light coloured eyes as they seemed to analyze Louis’ face, the unsubtle dilating of his dark pupils.  

His own eyes seemed to grow impossibly wider as the alpha slowly began to rise, growing in size like a dramatically slow motion scene in a movie with a sea monster rising out of the water to show their full and intimidating mass that eventually overshadowed the large ship looking to capture it.  Louis could do nothing but watch with absolute terror as the alpha rose to stand at his full height, towering over Louis like an eclipse and leaving him in a shadow from the morning sun. Louis didn’t even know the wilds were capable of standing completely upright, he’d never seen it, and to witness it for the first time while being held in place by the death grip of the same wild that had at least a foot on him had his shaking knees threatening to give out on him and his bladder threatening to release.  

[2]

“Hi!”  He said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly.  “I’m Louis from Omega Services.  It’s nice to meet you.”  

“Aren’t you a little young?” Harry blurted out and then slapped a hand over his mouth.  At least that’s what he had intended to do, but with his glasses still gripped in the same one, he ended up smashing them into his face.  

“Ow! Fuck!” he exclaimed and ran his tongue over his lips to make sure he hadn’t busted one open.  Louis just laughed, light and cheery.  

“You okay?  But don’t worry, I get that a lot.  I promise you I am a fully certified and licensed heat specialist and I’ve been doing this for almost four years now.”

“Sorry.” Harry nodded, leading them the few steps to the kitchen. “I’m just not sure what I was expecting or supposed to expect, I guess.  Maybe a middle aged doctor type or something.”

[3]

If his parents no longer lived in Louisville, he didn’t have an excuse to ever return.  He wouldn’t have a reason to be there without a contracted appearance.  Security would never let him back on set just to “visit” Louis after he was truly turned over to the “real world”.  Plenty of his peers had disappeared over the years in the same way, never to be seen again.

He knew it was far fetched but he began to realize that somewhere in the hidden recesses of his mind he had convinced himself that someday he and Louis would end up together.  In the rom com movie plot of his life he was sure that eventually fate would allow them to be together.  They would have a tearful reconnection, bond, get married, have children... but the possibility of that was slipping through his fingers like loose sand.  It would never happen if Harry was written out of Louis’ life just as everyone eventually was.  

[4]

Their phone call was connected via sex hotline.  All logic said that biology was exactly what it was yet that didn’t explain why Louis had been so preoccupied with thinking about the omega since that first call. 

Louis shook his head.  It was only because having a nice omega caller was a rarity.  That was all it was.  He was horny and a nice omega with a sexy voice had been transferred over to him at the right time.  

But if Harry wanted to think so, Louis wasn’t going to change his mind.  He was Louis’ most tolerable client, likeable even. He didn’t want to scare him off.  

“Must be meant to be,” Louis said with a grin as he cleaned himself up.  He always hated the way lube and come started to get tacky between his fingers almost immediately.  

“Guess we’re one of the lucky few.”  

Louis sat back with his eyes closed and let himself imagine that that was true for at least a little while.  True connections like that were mostly made up, but he wasn’t immune to romantic thoughts.  Plus, wasn’t he paid to let people have their fantasies?  He figured he was allowed to have his own once in a while.  

- Answers below -

[1] The Wilds

The creatures that Louis observed every day weren't exactly human, but yet they were. Researchers had plucked some of them from their secluded island and transplanted them into an enclosure against their will like a bunch of zoo animals. Louis didn't think they were. But he was only paid to do the yardwork, he didn't have any say about the wilds that lived there. That was until an unfortunate accident changed his life forever and made one wild in particular his top priority.

[2] Just Jump

Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

[3] OmegaVision

Tomlin Networks Presents: OmegaVision starring Louis Tomlinson! The world's first 24/7 reality channel available in over 150 countries worldwide following the life of the first male omega born in over a century. Follow Louis through his daily routine, the ups and downs of growing up or just leave him on for comfort. There are many reasons to tune in but, no matter what yours may be, there's always a part of Louis that is just like you!

Or a Truman Show au that nobody asked for where Louis is Truman and Harry just wants to be his mate

[4] Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha

Hearing it now almost made Harry hang up the phone, but he sighed and pressed one to be connected to one of their alpha operators. He’d already committed to this low point in his life and hanging up meant he couldn’t wallow in it and he was in a wallowing mood.

“You are being connected to alpha operator number forty-four. Rogue will be with you shortly.”

The name was said in a different voice like a voice mailbox someone might have on their office phone. It made him snort out a laugh at how stupid it all was. It felt like a budget sex line.

 or famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

This week I have mostly been reading...

May 20-26th, 2024

Hooray, I’ve managed it for the second week in a row! *If you have written/illustrated one of the works I've mentioned and I've not tagged you, please let me know!*

Completed works I've read this week:

Under Construction by @summerofspock Rated E – Honestly, this one can be summed up by the rather excellent tags ‘there was only one wifi’, ‘weaponized coziness’, ‘erotic woodchopping’ and ‘emotionally significant flannel’ (as in the shirt, not the miniature towel for cleaning one’s self…). It’s cosy, it’s Hallmarkian, it’s disaster puppy Crowley, and Aziraphale has a beard. 10/10 no notes.

Temporal Adjustment by @ukcalico & @vavoom-sorted-art Rated E – Written by Calico to accompany the ever-wonderful vavoom’s art, it’s a Post S1 Ritz scene which plays with time and some *very* spicy scenes. Three chapters of mild D/s content – mind the tags if you’re new to that world.

Sweet Dreams: A Companion Fic by @sixbynine-da & @vavoom-sorted-art Rated E – went down a vavoom rabbit hole, which is truly a delightful hole to go down…pun erm…not intended? But perhaps it was. Anyway. The tags initially had me hesitant to read this one (blood drinking, blood as lube) but it was a much more minor point than I was worried about and it ended up being a beautifully accepting, tender, loving story. I shed a couple of tears at this one.

You Can Stay At My Place, If You Like by AstroGirl Rated T – A lovely, touching piece about the moment A & C switch corporations/bodies and get to experience each other’s thoughts and feelings. Both POVs are written throughout the story, which adds a richness and emotion to it.

If It Looks Like A Duck, And Buzzes Like A Duck, It’s A Sex Toy by @quefish77 Rated M – Look at me bring the tone down after the last recommendation, but ho hum. This one had me weeping with laughter. Once again, the tags tell the story for me: ‘Look if you’re here for medical advice I got bad news for you’, If you don’t say WTF and laugh at least 3 times I’ve failed’, ‘Tags Are Fun’, ‘How many will you read before you roll your eyes and read the fic?, ‘Congratulations! You made it to the end of the tags’, ‘I lied there are more tags’. Yes…there were more tags. I laughed continuously throughout the entire fic, so I’m not sure if that counted as more than three times, and I read all the tags before I started reading, but I can guarantee this does not disappoint, but then none of Quefish’s work ever does if you’re looking for humour.

Aziraphale’s Diaries series by azzfell & @fellshish Rated T – This is a four-part series of humorous, fluffy diary entries written by A. 1. Empirical study on the principles of snake care – A tries to look after C as you would a snake…be ready to cringe and facepalm and giggle 2. Experiments of an angel who has read entirely too much fanfic – A finds fanfic. Tries some of what he’s read on C. Yikes. 3. How to be a demon: a brief history of the Arrangement – I can’t describe it any better than the authors’ description: “The Arrangement: the hard and challenging life of an angel who tries to make a demon do good deeds, and in turn has to perform temptations and wear devilishly sexy outfits.” 4. Adventures of a mystery shopper in the bookshop – this was by far my favourite. A puts C in charge of the bookshop…and then mystery shops. I laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

Lit by @fellshish Rated T – C decides to take a Uni course on literature (for absolutely no reason whatsoever…definitely not because he wants to impress a certain angel with his literary knowledge, nope, nuh uh)…but it turns out to be slightly different to what he was expecting…and they’re discussing Good Omens. Shit.

If You Touch Me You’ll Understand What Happiness Is by locketofyourhair Rated E – It’s no secret I like a bit of angst. You need only read what I write to get smacked round the side of the head with it. This one’s got it in spades. C confesses their love for A – repeatedly – through time. To keep them safe, A erases the memory of the confession each time. But A never forgets. Ouch. It does have a happy ending, though. Phew.

Lace And Gold Braid by @elsajeni Rated M – After rescuing A from the Bastille, C went to bed for 70 years. He never actually said he was sleeping. This fic goes into lots of delicious detail about A’s slutty, slutty outfit. The imagery is really well written and it has a podfic!

WIPs which have updated this week (which I devour as soon as I get the update!)

There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out by @phoen1xr0se Rated M - A is a researcher (puffins!), C is a lighthouse keeper on the island where A has run away to to escape his problems and do his research. The author has recently spent a week studying puffins - which is the ultimate dedication, if you ask me. Ch 9/26 posted this week

Find The Light by @klikandtuna Rated E - Headmaster A and Rockstar C. The story teases out a fraught history between them whilst keeping a tension between them in the modern day. Ch 6/? posted this week.

Terminus by @emotional-support-demon-crowley Rated T - Astronaut A is guided back to Earth by controller C after 92 years in space. There are many difficulties both of them have to face and they develop an amazing rapport. Ch 16/17 posted this week.

Oddity by @tsyvia48 Rated E - Actor C is contracted by (useless) Gabriel to guest curate an exhibition at the museum where A works. After getting off on the wrong foot, can they work together to pull off this show? Ch 23/26 posted this week (note increased chapter count!)

Under The Summer Stars by @pannotbread Rated E - This wonderful fic has taught me more about physics than school ever did (mostly because I never did any physics, but...well). A & C have to share their time at an observatory because there is Only One Telescope. Not only will you learn about astrophysics, astrobiology, and astroecology, you'll also read some of the most poetically, beautifully written masturbation scenes I've ever seen. *ahem* Ch 7/13 posted this week.

Exodus2 by @tismrot Rated E – Human AU set in a dystopian future. The summary says it best, really: Ezra studies programming at the University of ha-Gan. He’s as determined as he is damaged, as fastidious as he is precise, and likes to believe he'll stop at nothing to achieve his goals. His beliefs are challenged when a new student appears late to the first Ethics module lecture - and his life is changed forever. It's the future, it's dystopian, it's cyber and it's punk. It's political, grimy and slick with tears, lube and chemical snot. TW: Sex, drugs, trauma. Ch 28/35 posted this week.

Free by well, me: imposterssyndrome Rated E - A & C meet (again?) in an acute mental health ward after both having had mental health crises. A runs a bookshop but is very much under his parents' control. C has been homeless since childhood and has struggled his entire life. They do not trust each other when they first meet, but feel strangely drawn to one another all the same. Where will this lead them? This is a passion piece for me. There is a lot of lived experience in it, and extensive research from both professionals and peers. It has been a real journey for me to write it, and as I'm coming closer to the end it's becoming very emotional for me. Ch 45/? posted this week

Want more recommendations? This is last week's list.

[otomefiend]

Alfons Sylvatica

1st Year Birthday Story: A hollow mirror hides the truth in momentary pleasures.

So much goodness of Alfons' inner monologue. We learn more about him in a roundabout way. I just love the mix of naughty, sexy and sad. That cg is so pretty, I could have a full feature of Al and Kate making out with that backdrop. OOPS forgot to mention it's NSFW. 👀

I spent forever tinkering with some lines, and I'm still on the fence with how much of Al's formal speech I want to incorporate so here's a general comment that I might edit this and other stories.

~~~

Alfons: "You said you wanted to celebrate, didn't you?"

Kate: "I've never heard of celebrating with alcohol and hookah in a place like this..."

Sitting in a corner of a small, dimly lit private room of the local 'watering hole,' Kate chastised me in a hushed voice.

Alfons: "Ha-ha! Did you really think you were going to have a wholesome birthday party in a cake shop?" 🎶

Alfons: "Now, move closer if you'd be so kind."

Kate: "..... what? Why do I have to get on your lap ......?"

Alfons: "Because it's more fun this way, of course. You're so uncouth."

Alfons: "I'm a selfless man, but... you sincerely wished to celebrate with me."

Alfons: "I'm sure I'll make you feel thoroughly entertained."

Kate: "....ugh!"

(How sweet of her not to curse at me this instant)

Until now, dear 'Robin' had to lead a truly peaceful existence in that good world of hers.

(I have no idea how she found out about my birthday or why she wanted to celebrate it)

I had no reason to refuse if she just wanted to have a good time.

(Even more so if it is a moment of entertainment to comfort her in her challenging life with the crown)

Alfons: "If you want to celebrate with me, forget all the difficulties and think only of pleasure."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and let my fingers roam her spine, making her squirm and look flustered.

Kate: "Ah... no, you can't...! Not in here."

Alfons: "Oh? But it's good because it's 'here'."

Kate: "Eh...?"

Alfons: "You didn't follow me because you thought I was a gentleman who would protect your chastity, did you?"

Alfons: "Dressed so cute, you're like a cake on display."

Kate: "That's because you said we were going to a party."

Alfons: "I wasn't lying, 'Party' is the name of the venue."

Kate: "Wha.... nn!"

A strong shiver ran through her body as I moved my fingers over her bare arms.

Alfons: "Heh... I like your body. It's honest."

Kate: "Ugh, I'm going home."

Alfons: "You're so cold. Then, let's say I spend my birthday alone."

Alfons: "I declined all invitations for tonight because you said you would celebrate with me..."

Kate: "...um."

(Well, it's not true)

I wouldn't make any special arrangements with anyone just because it was my birthday.

Kate: "...will you promise me that you won't do anything indecent?"

Alfons: "I can't promise that. I'm often told that even my presence is indecent."

~~~

Later, after laughing at her choking on hookah and providing her with the most indecent step-by-step instructions, we arrived at home---

Perhaps it was the sweet and easy-drinking quality of the coctails, but their hefty alcohol content left her completely drunk.

~~~

Alfons: "Right. Here we are, Kate."

Kate: "Mhm.... thank you..."

After carrying her into her room, I slowly lowered her onto the bed.

As I gently brushed her hair away from her flushed cheeks, she narrowed her eyes in pleasure.

(Ah, so defenseless...)

(You're a bit too soft to live in the dark)

(Even if you're cautious, you'll still get hurt the moment you stick your head out)

I was sure there would be a lot of turmoil in her life from now on.

( ...... I can at least accompany you on a momentary diversion like today's)

Kate: "I'm sorry... Alfons... your birthday..."

Kate: "Happy birthday, congratula...tions."

Alfons: "Ah, you're slurring. Please, say it again cause it's awfully cute."

Kate: "Ugh... you're horrible..."

(What're you like... Since you're comfortably drunk, I should leave you alone, though...)

I sighed, looking at Kate, now dazed and shaking painfully.

I took off one of my gloves and gently touched her hot nape.

Alfons: "You are not drunk. Your head is clear, and you don't feel dizzy."

Kate: "....., .....ah....."

As I twisted reality with my power to forcibly alter perception, Kate's eyes immediately became clear again.

Kate: "I'm... feeling better, thank you."

Alfons: "To be clear, you just don't have symptoms. That doesn't mean I got rid of the alcohol from your system."

Kate: "This ability... It's really amazing."

She pondered on something in silence, then looked straight at me.

Alfons: "... what is it?"

Kate: "Do you use it to make everyone... feel at ease?"

Alfons: "Yes, well. Depends on the situation."

Kate: "Won't they become... over reliant on you, when you're showing them convenient illusions in times of distress?"

Alfons: "People like that certainly exist amongst them."

Kate: "...What do you do in such situations?

Alfons: "I have a contingency plan."

Kate: "Which is..?"

Alfons: "I just walk away."

Alfons: "People are surprisingly forgetful when you distance yourself."

Alfons: "Though I'm careful not to get them to the point of dependendency. It's too much trouble."

Kate: "...Still, why are you showing illusions like these...?"

Alfons: "One needs a little bit of entertainment in life, don't you agree?"

Kate: "... This sounds strangely altruistic."

Alfons: "Indeed. I'm the epitome of altruism."

Kate: "But it's irresponsible to run away."

Alfons: "Yeah, I'm also an irresponsible arsehole."

Kate: "Seriously..."

Kate: "That's how you keep me from getting too involved."

(---ah)

(She's far too observant)

Her direct gaze made me flinch at times.

Ever since she arrived at the castle, her heart has been busy with worries and fears.

She tried to confront things far too seriously, considering that, after all, it was only for a limited time.

Despite being fragile and soft, she had the strength to face her fear of getting hurt...

I was envious and, at the same time, a little --- scared.

Kate: "I thought I'd get an idea of who you are by asking you about your birthday memories, but..."

Kate: "With alcohol and hookah... and your indecent pranks... you managed to dodge it, didn't you?"

Alfons: "I like the term 'indecent pranks'. The way it sounds..."

Kate: "... see? You're doing it again..."

It couldn't be helped since the truth was nowhere to be found.

(Even the fact that today is my birthday I made it up on the day I met El)

I didn't even know my real birthday. Or where I was born. Not even my real name.

But I had no intention of seeking the truth.

(Whatever the truth is, eventually --)

Kate: "I'm... very interested in you."

Alfons: "Isn't it natural to be interested in indecent things?"

Kate: "No, it's not! That's not all...!"

Kate: "It's because sometimes your face looks empty --- just like now."

(... empty face)

(Mine...?)

Kate: "Therefore...... I'm curious as to why."

(-- ah)

(As expected, she's scary)

For a moment, I felt like I was about to be exposed, so I deliberately took a step back.

Alfons: "I'm touched that you were concerned about me."

She pursed her lips in frustration, as if she sensed that I was not going to answer her question.

Kate: "...I guess I didn't get to celebrate your birthday much today."

Kate: "Before we call it a day, is there anything you would like me to do?"

That was at least something I could respond to, feeling a growing sense of danger, heightened by her strong, searching gaze.

(I want her to have a hard time)

(I don't want her looking straight at me anymore)

Softly reaching my hand out, I touched the unprotected nape of her neck.

Kate: "... what---"

Alfons: "`Isn't it customary to kiss someone when celebrating their birthday?`"

Her strong gaze wavered and became dull.

Kate: "....ah,... "

Kate: "Yes, you're right... Sorry, I don't know how could I forget?"

(Yes, this is good)

(Once she wakes up from this illusion... she will have no desire to search for the truth about me)

Alfons: "It can happen to anyone... Now, come here, please."

As I lay down on her bed and invited her to join me, I could see Kate's throat go up and down.

She straddled me, lifting up her pretty, cake-like dress.

Alfons: "...passionately, please?"

Kate: "....yes....mn..."

A kiss with the sweet scent of a hookah.

When I pushed the tip of my tongue into her mouth, her shoulders shook in surprise --- followed by her enthusiastic response.

As I teased her inside, she reacted with honesty, guiding me to her pleasure spots.

Kate: "ah....ha.....?"

Her eyes wavered in confusion as I reached under her dress and stroked her thighs.

Was she already accustomed to 'indecent pranks' or had she become less vigilant?

Maybe it was because of the innocent wish to give me a passionate birthday kiss...

I was able to caress her body with little resistance.

(....how far will she let me go?)

(I only made her believe it was 'okay' to kiss me)

Kate: "Mm.....nn, n....!"

(She's so adorable)

I traced over her secret area through the underwear and slid my finger into the gap where the fabric had been shifted.

The kisses became more and more intense as I teased her wet spot ---

Kate: "Nn, no...!"

The moment I slipped my finger inside her, she recoiled and pushed back my chest.

Kate: "Birthday celebrations... are supposed to be just kisses, right!?"

She said so in a loud voice --

Kate: "....huh!? T-that... I-I..."

She seemed to realize the abnormality of her statement and suddenly put her hand over her mouth.

Katie: "What am I......doing now?"

Alfons: "What, you ask? Isn't it obvious...? It's a kiss to celebrate my birthday. Very passionate, I might add."

Kate: "What!? Why..."

She looked down at her body with a mixture of turmoil, pleasure and shame.

Kate: "Please remove your finger..."

Alfons: "Are you sure? Where it is right now... says not to pull it out."

Kate: "You used your ability....?"

Alfons: "Yes. I just fancied you to do my bidding."

Kate: "...!?"

Kate: "....You wanted me to kiss you?"

Her eyes twitched slightly in anticipation of the truth.

(...Please, don't look at me like that)

(You know it's going to hurt)

Alfons: "--No? I only wanted to toy with you using my power."

Kate: "...."

She glared at me with eyes still moist with pleasure.

(Pathetic and cute)

(I want this terrible experience make her forget about my birthday)

(I won't let her in)

Into my past, into my future, into my heart.

If I let her, who was fragile and gentle, step in too deep ---

I'm sure I would leave her with scars that never fade.

(There's only room for momentary pleasures between us)

(It's best for me and her that this doesn't go any further)

Alfons: "You have my sincere thanks for the birthday wishes."

In a daze, she watched me leave the room.

~~~

The reflection of my lips on the windowpane showed traces of her rouge.

(She went so far as to put on beautiful makeup just because she was going to a party with me... how adorable)

Why did I make her kiss me when there were other ways to keep her from getting too close?

Kate: "....You wanted me to kiss you?"

(... not a chance)

Alfons: "Impossible."

Traced with my fingertips, the red colour spread to the skin,

From the mark that would disappear by tomorrow morning --

I couldn't take my eyes off it for some reason.

~~~

The letter

[jokeroutsubs]

ENG translation: "When I'm on stage, I know that I have to be here and only here"

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin in Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published 31.10.2021.

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Beti Burger for Delo; photos by Blaž Samec; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

Bojan Cvjetićanin, frontman of Joker Out, says that the success happening to them is not the result of something that happened overnight.

When he's standing on stage, he doesn't know what's actually going on. Even though after the concert, he realises that he was on it, and remembers certain moments, he's actually in a zen-like state: his head is somewhere else, and his brain does what it wants to do. Young, reflective musician Bojan Cvjetićanin believes that he was born to write music and lyrics and sing them on stage. "What I enjoy the most at a concert is when we play a new song from start to finish with the band for the first time and we're 'vibing'."

And if some of the lines above did not have context yet when we talked the day before the first concert, and sort of 'hung in the air', in packed Cvetličarna it was crystal clear what he had wanted to say. They were 'vibing' not only when they played well-known hits - Omamljeno telo, Umazane misli, Vem da greš - but also to new songs from the album, when they felt the strong energy and heard the audience was singing the new songs with them... She'll find herself there, where no one knows her, where the road always carries the smell of fresh rain (...) where pearls are in seashells, not on necklaces (Barve oceana).

Bojan truly, as he said, seems a little distant on stage, as if he's in his own world, but also in contact with the audience at the same time. He is both confident and childishly playful at once, with a wide smile on his face, with the charisma of an experienced frontman. His friend and member of the band, bassist Martin Jurkovič, with whom they started their musical journey as young teenagers already, described him well in an interview as someone who "draws all the attention to himself and the band during a concert". When the band members look at each other during a gig, they recognise each other's exact thoughts, and a kind of perversion of pleasure happens. We witnessed this exact thing at the album presentation.

"On stage, I feel sexy, I feel free and accepted. I'm on autopilot and I'm never thinking about what my next move will be, it's when I'm 'free as a bird' because I am surrounded by friends who know me very well, so I don't have to be ashamed of anything. It's also a good feeling when you know that there is a crowd of people in the hall who came to our concert because they like something that we give them. This mutual accumulation of love and energy is very strong." Are there places where he doesn't feel accepted, I query his words. "I think that we all sometimes find ourselves in a situation when we feel like we don't belong there and we ask ourselves what we're even doing there. When I'm on stage, however, I know that I have to be here and only here."

Bojan Cvjetićanin Born in 1999. Frontman of currently the most in-demand young Slovenian band Joker Out which, with their shagadelic rock'n'roll, a genre they actually invented themselves, sold out Cvetličarna twice last week with their just-released album Umazane misli. Even off-stage, he's the 'joker' in a group, optimistic and talkative and an occasionally childishly playful young man. His lyrics (and music) are mature, sensitive and empathetic. The Ljubljana resident, otherwise a sociology student, has been making music for almost half of his life. Last but not least, a listener can quickly recognise that he actually grew up exactly where he feels the best: on stage.

Tired and sleep deprived, just a few days before the concert in Cvetličarna, which had been postponed (more than once) due to Covid-19 and which seemed like it would never happen, he had a nightmare. He dreamed "that there was one song that we just could not start and we tried again and again". He really had a lot of stage fright before the first concert this year. At the end of April and beginning of May, it still looked like there wouldn't be concerts in the summer, and then everything started to open up. They've never had as many concerts as this summer. "Those concerts hit us like a train, because we were neither mentally nor physically prepared for this many performances. We'd got used to rehearsing all day long and being completely self-sufficient. It was pretty hard before the first sold-out concert in Čin čin in Ljubljana, because the audience's expectations, as well as our own, were high. We performed with a new drummer for the first time, so the tension was even greater. When we stepped on stage, however, an enormous wave of energy that reflected from the audience washed over us, you could feel and see that people had been locked up at home, that they needed to relax, needed concerts."

"In these times, when the internet and media constantly bombard us with so much information, that defines us pretty strongly. So it seems like any kind of thinking for yourself, about anything, is already a dirty thought."

The epidemic was also a time when changes happened in the group, as during the creative process, they realised that not all members of the band have the same creative drive, so in the end, they switched their drummer. Since then, they have significantly changed the way they work. They have created, even if not completely intentionally, a spirit of band co-production, they've become more dependant on each other. They've realised that music demands that they help each other. It's also important that, when they start to grow wings from all the congratulations and praises, they pull each other back to solid ground. In interviews and articles, he is described as "the most recognisable voice of the new generation of Slovenian rock" or as "a rising star" and he feels honoured by those compliments, but in truth, those titles don't really tell him a lot. Hearing that from the people who listen to their music is what means the most to him. He says that it's not the sea of congratulations that caresses your ego, but rather certain moments and situations when you actually feel strong and in your own skin. "In the moment when the light shines on you on the stage, the feelings are indescribable, you feel like a god. That's the 'awesome' thing, not when someone tells you that you're a god." He adds that he thinks he's still the same Bojan he was years ago, when all those congratulations and titles didn't exist yet.

"The bassist Martin and I have been making music for almost half of our lives and I think that with time, we've managed to work through everything that happens during the evolution of a band. Our current success didn't come overnight, it is the result of a long period of work." The pivotal year for Joker Out was 2017, when it first started looking like this band could truly become 'something'. "From the start, you want it to be something more, but it's usually just a distant wish, like Cvetličarna used to be." Back then, however, after the single Omamljeno telo, all the positive response gave them the feeling that everything was being taken to a higher level. And there were several of those levels, they have jumped over many of them. "If I look at the situation objectively, it seems crazy to me that we sold out Cvetka (Cvetličarna, a.n.) twice with three singles." As he says, however, nothing that they do in the band is left up to chance. "Very early on, we put our heads together and had an in-depth discussion, first of all about our relationships with one another, and then about our duties, and we promised each other that we would never be afraid to tell each other what we wanted. When we determined our wishes, we turned them into goals, which we are now achieving." In his words, something that definitely contributes to their success is that they're surrounded by people who love what they do. "Now we work as a team, and if a team works well, it can't miss." In the future they want to release another album, and they're also drawn beyond the borders of Slovenia, to the Balkans.

As a band, they want to give people the things that drive them as artists - currently the prevailing theme in their lyrics is love, but also self-reflection and musings. These are very general, many songs talk about how young people sometimes feel constricted or lost and are looking for their place in the world. "We're currently not interested in politics and we don't plan to define ourselves politically one way or another, although our songs do feature some messages about society. We think that our job is to spread love and that people can, based also on our lyrics, come up with their own political opinion, without our imposition," he says.

And when I challenged him to use one of their songs to describe his current feeling before the concert (adrenaline, fear, uncertainty, expectations), he said that "there's a butterfly in my head that's just swimming through a weird universe. It feels like people around me are buzzing and not actually talking." Metulji ('Butterflies') is actually his favourite song. He wrote it at the same time as Omamljeno telo and it already meant a lot to him back then. He wanted to hear a recording of it, but today he says that he's happy that they recorded it later, because back then it wouldn't have been anything like it is today. "Now, the song is exactly as we imagined it back then, but didn't know how to embody it."

As the singer, Bojan Cvjetićanin is also the most recognisable and exposed member of the band. On the Slovenian scene, his role models are (were), among others, Tomi Meglič from Siddharta and Gregor Skočir, the singer of the band Big Foot Mama - "today I can already call them friends, they feel respect for us, as we do for them and for both bands. They come to our concerts, we hang out in private. Even though some people say that you shouldn't meet your idols, because then everything falls apart, now that I know Tomi and know who the person who made all that music is, I like listening to it even more." Among foreign frontmen, his favourite is Liam Gallagher, who became famous with the band Oasis. He was actually his inspiration for keeping his hands crossed behind his back while singing on stage. "I had a period of that 'Liam pose'... I didn't know what to do with my hands on stage, and when I put them behind my back once, it seemed like a good trick. Today, I grab the guitar more and more on stage, so I don't have an issue with what to do with my hands anymore. (smile)." What, then, are the key characteristics of a good frontman? "He has to be honest, genuine. There are many types of lead singers, Mick Jagger, for example, gives himself away completely, goes crazy and dances, while some others stand still constantly, but they both completely enchant you." He doesn't think about this too much, he simply exists on stage.

While some musicians, actors, or other performers are completely different, introverted, in their private lives and in the backstage, Bojan is generally very talkative and smiley. "Even as a little kid, as others have told me, I talked all the time, I wanted to socialise, with older people too, so it seems like I really never had issues with making connections. Now it's actually the same, there are just more people in front of the stage." At Poljane High School, which, as he has stressed many times, shaped him a lot as a person, he performed in a theatre group, so he already experienced the stage in the role of an actor, later he was on TV in the role of a host. These days, he still often says, half-laughing, that - if music won't be what he earns a living with - he'd like to be a sociology professor at Poljane. "But I heard they just got a new one, so I don't know how realistic the chances are."

But for now, he doesn't have to do anything other than make music. Bojan Cvjetićanin is also the author of the lyrics of most of the songs, in which, as he said, he's a kind of medium who conveys others' pain. While he did say not long ago that as a songwriter, he sometimes lacks unhappy emotions and that he doesn't know the pain of a broken heart, it's different now. "I got my dose of inspiration for quite some time..." He says that when making songs, it's almost always the music that comes first, and then the lyrics. "Most often, I take the guitar, lately I also sit at the piano, and I try to find the chords that sound interesting to me in that moment, and then I also sing along. Usually, associations form in my head and it feels like it suddenly becomes clear to me what the lyrics will be, sometimes I "accidentally" sing some lines that end up staying in the song and define what I will talk about." The lyrics are mostly, as mentioned, about love and self-reflection, but there are also a few slightly different ones among them. Aleppo, the duet with Omar Naber, who has been by his side from the beginning and helped him record demos, was created differently. The song, which talks about the city Aleppo in Syria, which is ravaged by war, was created when, in a TV report about what was happening there, he saw a young girl that inspired him. Then, he immediately started writing.

As someone who is sensitive to feeling other people's pain, does he ever fear that he could lose this empathy in the rather apathetic world we live in? "Just last year, there was a moment when I thought that I was completely alienated from myself, and I felt like I was never going to fall in love again. For a while, nothing excited me, I thought I had gone numb, but then something suddenly changed, I just waited for that natural 'click'." When songs become evergreen, hits that everyone sings and that connect generations, is it also important how much empathy the lyricists have?

"Absolutely. You have to have enough empathy to be honest with yourself. If you're honest, some people will connect very strongly with your lyrics. Nowadays, so many songs in the musical world are written just to be written. Not because they carry a real story within. And you can really feel that. It's that easy."

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Undertaker Headcanons (Black Butler) His Prized Treasure

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! Welcome back to another chapter! This chapter will also be in video format for Base Headcanons and traits of yandere Undertaker from Black Butler. Maybe with a scenario in the video! Anyways I hope that you enjoy this and maybe the video as well!

(Disclaimer: Undertaker from Black Butler is not yandere in canon. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously. Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it. Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!)

(Once again please enjoy this!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Undertaker From Black Butler-

.Undertaker is an odd man, to say the least.

.He loves a good laugh and cherishes humor.

.He is an eccentric man who giggles frequently and enjoys scaring people and getting reactions with his odd mannerisms.

.He also has one true treasure.

.Which, is you, the person of his dreams, the light of his soul, his true treasure.

.The person he values most in this world.

.He would do anything to be with you, would adore you beyond belief, and be forever loyal to you.

.He loves to make you laugh cracking jokes to just see your radiant smile and hear your enchanting laugh.

.He is addicted to hearing you laugh and seeing you smile that is for sure.

.He also would be working on finding a way to make you immortal.

.That way you will never be able to leave him.

.He is determined and will make as many of his flesh dolls as he can to find perfect way to make you immortal.

.He is the type of yandere that is flirty and charming with you.

.In the most relax and easy going way.

.Do not get it wrong though, he will kill for you.

.Killing anyone who dares try and bring you harm.

.He is a protective yandere in that way.

.He would also HATE other grim reapers around you.

.They are not worthy of your time.

.He also does not want them to take you from him, so he will very much keep them away from you as much as possible.

.He will find your body to be a work of art, what he wants to do with you if he can get his hands on you.

.To worship your body and see just how you react to him.

.What his touch can do to make you squirm, oh what sounds you would make~

.He loves getting new reactions out of you, so he will do everything and anything to get new reactions out of you.

.From tickling you and creeping you out, to making love to you and making you come undone on him~

.He adores all your reactions and wants to see them again and again.

.He can truly not get enough of you.

.He will also be the type of guy to hide in coffins and jump out scaring you.

.A new place each time, so you know that he is coming, you just do not know from where.

.He also would be an adoring type of yandere.

.Adoring you and cherishing all the time he has with you.

.He would deal with rivals by first trying to creep them away from you.

.If that does not work you can be certain he will physically remove them from you.

.And if that does not work they are going to be killed and experimented on.

.Making him one step closer to making you immortal.

.If they tried and kiss you though or did do anything intimate with you?

.Then you can be sure that they will be tortured and experimented on when alive.

.A slow and painful death for them.

.He would confess to you in a surprising romantic (in his unique eccentric way)

.It is very much his style and you are still stunned either way.

.If you accept his love, he will be over the moon and take you into one of the deepest kisses you ever had.

.If you say no? Well, then he will just play it off as a joke, that he was just getting your reaction.

.He, of course, drugged your food before this and you are now knocked out and he is taking you home.

.He will keep you there until you learn to love him and he makes you immortal. That way you and him will be together for all eternity.

.If you are to die before him though? He will make you into a flesh doll and keep you with him always.

.Always looking for a way to return your soul to your body. That way you will stay with him forever and always.

.In the end, you will be with him, may it be in life or death it does not matter. You belong to him, always.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy all of my sexy muffins!]

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Three Word Fic Titles (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

A Human Heart (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Phil's mother has always said that there are creatures in the forest and Phil has always thought they were just stories. Then one day he runs into the forest looking for somewhere to hide and meets Dan, a man with antlers and the ability to talk to trees. Phil's world opens up but there are dangers in the forest that he can't even begin to imagine.

Boys on Fire (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan is visiting Phil for the second time ever and a little Buffy viewing session turns into sexy times.

cowboy hat canoodling (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Usually they’re of a height, somewhat because Dan has that tendency to slouch. But today Dan is in boots and the cowboy hat, both making him taller than usual.

Don't Blame Me (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: When Phil gets a new job at the Tops Only Bar, he's just looking to make ends meet over the holiday period. He doesn't expect how he'll feel about one of the performers or how hard that'll make his job.

Doubt and Trust (ao3) - MorningStarshine

Summary: Being at the party had been fine. Stumbling home arm in arm with Phil, that had been the best part. But when kissing started leading to something more, Dan had a bit of a confession to make.

dreaming of you (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: “and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you”

endings, endings, beginnings. (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: A lot can happen in eleven years, he said, finishing his cup of coffee. Dan and Phil had lived a full life. It wasn’t always happy, but nothing can ever truly be happy, but it was finding the happiness and the light in those dark places.

When Dan finished talking, when all the words had come out, Evelyn had looked at him the same way that she looked at him back at that last session, a mix of pride and unbridled joy that Dan had grown up. He had grown up and become the person that his twenty-one year old self had been so scared of, the sixteen year old self he would have been proud of, and the twenty-five year old he almost gave up on if it hadn’t been for those around him to remind him that he was loved.

everything has changed (ao3) - gamingbeats

Summary: Dan and Phil go on holiday to NYC and everything changes when Dan books only the couple's options.

Falling for You (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan is at the front door waiting for Phil, eager to get outside so he can put his secret plan in motion when he hears a chilling thud of his partner colliding with the bathroom tiles.

Hospitals and homosexuals (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: The story of Phil's near death experience

How Life Changes (ao3) - madd09

Summary: Phil had no idea how much his life was going to change when Cornelia and Martyn announced they were expecting and how it would end up being a catalyst for him and Dan,

Like Fine Print (ao3) - totalincandescense

Summary: Every few weeks, Dan was given an unfriendly reminder of at least one of the many reasons why he never went outside.

The most frequently recurring thing on the list being the general existence of people.

But more specifically, the existence of people who flirted with Phil.

missing the obvious (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: Dan just wants this guy to stop ruining his game.

(or a reverse you've got mail)

one night stand (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan meets a stranger in a bar during after one of his shows on the We're All Doomed tour.

Some Other Light (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan works the night shift because it's easier to exist in the dark

still so lucky (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil take a little trip, but Phil gets a migraine.

sunny intervals tomorrow (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Phil thinks about fifteen years.

Tequila and Lime (ao3) - SecretLlama_22

Summary: Dan and Phil bartender AU, where Dan has a crush on his recently phlonded colleague.

the fisherman’s guide (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: it’s 1956 and phil is a lighthouse worker who wants to write, and dan is the handsome stranger that washes up on shore one night who can’t remember who he is, but does know how to fish

The Philver Scream (ao3) - UnorthodoxSavvy

Summary: While Dan's career in the FBI is taking off, Phil is left behind to pick up the pieces of his life after his brother's death. However, he finds himself plagued by strange nightmares that he can't explain. Soon, people around him start dying. Can Dan and Phil's partnership survive the mounting body count?

three of us (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Phil is ready to make the next step. Dan isn't so sure.

Set after Dan comes home from WAD.

To be loved (ao3) - Thedemonqueen

Summary: Dan knows Phil insisted they’re together. Dan knows Phil loves him. But it doesn’t stop Dan from feeling dirty when he wants to touch Phil.

Viva Las Vegas (ao3) - evermorepeyton

Summary: Dan and Phil go to Las Vegas on October 19th. For what? Honestly, who knows? But maybe we should all seriously imagine it anyway.

What A Catch (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil visits the same cafe every weekday morning without fail. But, when he decides to visit the cafe on the weekend for once, the atmosphere that he had grown used to has completely changed thanks to a piano player named Dan. While Phil is ready to jump into a relationship, Dan is hesitant and is still trying to stitch his life together again after What Had Happened in his past relationship. And that’s easier said than done.

Where it began (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Dan and Phil are thinking back to how things started

You and Me (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Birthday sex after Dan's birthday livestream

[lostgirl677]

Nothing can stop me from loving you part.2

MoC!Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Platonic!Sam Winchester x PlatonicFem!Reader

Established relationship

Masterlist

Part.1

A few weeks had passed, and I could tell Sam was as on edge as I was. He even convinced some douchebag to seal a deal with a crossroad demon to try to catch the red-eyed asshole. But all he managed to get was an arm in a sling. On my side, I contacted every hunter we knew around the country to try to gather information. But it was mostly useless. It was a race against time, and we were obviously losing. We knew that Crowley wasn’t alone in this. He had a whole crew of assholes with him. I  tried to summon Crowley and some of his lackeys, but the assholes never showed up. Even the various tracking spells with Rowena never worked. And to top it all, my dreams were plagued with weird changing images of a bar, cowboy hats and this shitty song “I’m too sexy”. Dean had finally managed to drive me crazy. I was losing my marbles at this point. 

Today wasn’t different from the others. If doing research in the hope of finding something useful could finally lead to something, it was mostly infuriating. I took the computer and a selection of books about demon invocation and went to the library. After many hours of leafing through each book, knowledge seemed to pass over my head without ever getting into it. An exasperated sigh escaped my lips as I dropped my head in my hands. “It’s useless. I won’t find anything useful in there.”, I whispered, completely desperate. I stayed in this position for a few minutes, or maybe hours. I couldn’t tell. But if the roles were reversed, Dean would turn the world upside down to find me. He would never surrender. And I loved him way too much to give up that easily. So I raised my head, wiped some stray tears, and tried to do more research. 

But reading for the hundredth time the same sentence was a signal that I couldn‘t focus anymore. Instead, my mind decided to wander away from the dusty books. And, even though it was too late to think about it, I couldn’t help but torture myself about the what-ifs. If I had stopped Dean altogether from fighting Metatron in the first place with a spell from Rowena, maybe we wouldn’t be in this crap? Perhaps, if I stayed with Dean as intended that night instead of leaving him alone, I could have stopped Crowley before he ran away with Dean. Well, maybe not stopping him, but at least delaying him a little and trying to get some sense in Dean’s mind. But I couldn’t afford to waste my time with the actions I didn’t do. It was a dangerous spiral that should never be explored. So, in order to regain the handle of the situation, I tried to focus on the things I could control. Which means thinking of the various tactics we could use to find Dean. 

After some plotting against Crowley, I decided to phone Cas for the first time since Dean’s death. I was still a bit embarrassed about my cries for help, knowing that I was bothering him with a situation he couldn’t improve. I took a deep breath as I tried to ponder whether I should call him or not. But I already clicked on the phone icon without even thinking. As the phone rang, I secretly hoped to end up on the voicemail. It rang a bit and before I could think of hanging up, I heard his deep voice. “Y/N?” I heard him say, a bit surprised. “Hey, Cas. How are you?” There was a bit of silence before I heard him clear his throat. “It is complicated to manage without my grace. But it is also difficult to repair all the damages Metatron caused but we are working things out. What about you with Dean?” 

I hesitated a bit before replying “ Well, it’s pretty hard. He could be anywhere and doing god knows what at the moment. Plus, Sam is acting recklessly now. I’m scared, Cas. I don’t know what to do. " "We’re going to find him, don’t worry. As soon as I’m done with this celestial issue, I’ll come to help you.” I could hear that he was sincere, that he truly loved Dean as much as we did.” Thank you, Cas. Also, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry that I haven't called you since his death.” I wanted to add something else but my voice shattered a bit. “I am not mad at you, Y/N. I understand. And you don’t have to be embarrassed about your distress, it is a normal human feeling in these circumstances. Just know that your cries and prayers weren’t ignored, that they broke my heart and shook me to my core. I am sorry that I was not able to do more.” His voice wavered a bit while saying this. “Take care, Y/N. Call me anytime you need.” “Thank you, Cas. Take care too.” And he hung up the phone.

After the phone call, I decided to busy myself with more research. But again, my mind always ended up circling with the worst-case scenarios, this time. Crowley had a precise reason to revive Dean, and it scared me. And since there was no way Dean could have willingly left with Crowley, there had to be some kind of mind control or something. What if Crowley used Dean to be his personal hitman? What if he used him as a bargain with one of our enemies? Hell he could even use him as a male stripper to gain money! It wasn’t even the worst option there, but everything was possible when Crowley was involved. He could have taken him out of the country, for that matter. He could even have killed him if his project were finalized. It made me close my eyes to repress undesirable tears. Slowly, I pushed the computer away. All of this mess was giving me a killer migraine. 

Timeskip 

It was late when I heard the front door of the bunker. Sam was going down the stairs, his arms full of files. I immediately rushed to help him. The bags under his eyes became darker than the day before and his hair was messy. He looked so exhausted, just like me. He glanced at me and gently smiled. “Thanks, Y/N.” I smiled too. “No problem. I won’t let you carry everything in your state. Also, I made dinner. I’ll heat it for you if you want.” A warm smile illuminated his face. “Thank you, I’m starving.” We put all the files on the library’s table and made our way to the kitchen. Once inside the room, Sam began to set the table for the both of us and once dinner was warm, we both ate while making small talk. “I’m sure that's how Dean knew you were the one. Super caring and your cooking is heavenly.” His remark warmed my heart and broke it at the same time. “Thank you. I still remember the first time he tasted my pistachio pasta sauce.” Sam laughed. “I thought that he would propose right away. I must admit that your dish was incredible.” There was a pause before he talked again. “I also remember all the pep talks I gave to him to encourage him to make a move. Strangely enough, he can be super smooth with a random girl. But with you? A complete dork. He looked like a middle schooler trying to ask his crush out.” I laughed a little. “Who would have thought, indeed?” But my smile faltered quickly and I almost dropped my fork, no longer hungry. Sam noticed but didn’t say a word. Instead, he just sent me a reassuring smile and the rest of the meal was silent.

The next day, I woke up with a start after an intense dream of a guy kidnapping Sam. That weird guy wanted to kill Dean. Those strange dreams happened almost every night, and I couldn’t understand why. Was it a sort of trauma? I couldn’t understand what it was, but it was becoming scary. As I took in my surroundings, I realized that I had slept again on the floor in the middle of a stack of books and that someone had wrapped a blanket around me. The pain in my back didn’t go unnoticed by my dazed state. I slowly stretched my limbs, trying to not knock over the piles of books. Getting up was rarely this hard. Well, except for those once in a blue moon lazy mornings with Dean…Once I stood on both my feet, I prepared myself for another day of fruitless research.

It was around 10 AM when Rowena crashed into the bunker. She seemed happy this morning, not phased by my surprised expression at all. “I found another spell”, she said as she put a heavy stack of books on the table with a loud thud. “It’s a very  ancient one that I will adapt to the modern days.” The spells had failed so many times that I was past the excited state. When she saw my lack of reaction, she added, “Well, dear. I have a wee bit of hope that this spell will work.” I raised an eyebrow and replied,  “You said that the last time. And the other times before that one. And I still don’t know where Dean is.” Wow, it came out harsher than I intended to. I knew that she was doing what she could. But I couldn’t help but feel on edge with all the useless magic crap at this point. Even if I knew she was a bit upset, she still had her sassy expression when she replied, “Being a witch is not just looking fabulous and flying on a broomstick, dearie. It’s also doing research and trying spells. That means trials and errors as well.” She was right, of course, but I was desperate for answers. “I’m sorry, Rowena. You’re right. I didn’t have to lash out at you like that.” She just patted my shoulder and threw me a little smile. Unlike the brothers, my relationship with Rowena wasn’t that strained. 

“Are you ready to perform?” she asked. Deep down, I wasn’t ready because the sole thought of failing again drove me crazy. But you can’t know until you try, right? So I just replied, “Yeah. Let’s get ready. What do you need for this one?”  She looked at a list in her hand and enumerated, “I’ll need candles, a map of the country, something of his, a picture of him and the blood of one of his relatives to do this spell. The rest is provided by your fabulous witch.” She said as she designated herself in an elegant move of hand. “But wait, how will it work? And we don’t even know if they’re still in the country or even this realm.” I finally asked. 

She consulted her paper again and told me, “Once everything is in the bowl, I’ll perform the spell. And then, I’ll dip the pendulum in the bowl and place it above the map. The pendulum will find the start of Dean’s journey, which means the location of the bunker and will drip the blood on it. The blood will get absorbed by the map and trace the entire path taken to his final destination. Then you’ll find your loverboy again, dearie.” She then patted my shoulder and added “They’re still in the country, Fergus might be vicious but he sometimes lacks imagination. How can I possibly be related to him?” I looked at her, half hopeful, half desperate and nodded my head. In return, she simply smiled at me. As she began to prepare her improvised altar, I ran as fast as I could in the bunker to find what she needed. I came back with one of his old bracelets, a map, candles and a picture of him next to Baby.

When I arrived, Rowena had set everything and was reading one of the heavy leather-bound books she brought. The moment she noticed me, she lifted her head and sent me a smile. We laid the map on the altar, lit the candles and placed the bracelet and the picture on the large bowl. ”So, everything is in place, I’ll just need...” She didn’t finish her sentence as a loud noise behind us made us jump. Sam just came back. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Rowena. “Hello, Y/N and, uh, Rowena,” he said, visibly surprised. “Well. Hello Samuel. You’re right in time for once.” He seemed a little scared and asked, “Right on time for what?” So I explained, “Rowena found another spell, but to perform it, we’ll need the blood of a relative of Dean.” As he took the information in, he just nodded and asked, “Okay. Do you need just a drop or more?” She gave him an athame and told him. “You’ll have to slice the palm of your left hand and make your blood drip on the bowl. But not until I said the incantation for the third time. It is extremely important. When I use the pendulum, I’ll need you both to chant ‘Orientem Occidentem Septentrionem et Meridiem monstrant viam ab uno absente captam’, okay?” Sam looked at her, then me and nodded again.

Rowena then began the ritual. She breathed deeply before singing her incantation. “Orientem Occidentem Septentrionem et Meridiem monstrant viam ab uno absente captam” she sang in a deep voice. She was moving her hands toward each cardinal point above the bowl. A tingling sensation of electricity in the air made the atmosphere tense. So much so that I could feel the hair at the back of my head rising and goosebumps forming on my arms. I was holding my breath the whole time, anxiety filling my veins. By the way Sam looked everywhere around him, I knew he was as anxious as me. When Rowena reached the third time reciting, Sam sliced his left hand as indicated and as she kept singing. 

The lights of the bunker began to flicker, and the bowl produced the noise of something bubbling and thin steam could be seen. I swiftly approached Sam to wrap his hand in a clean cloth. She then plunged her pendulum into the blood, and it began to rotate in search of the bunker. Sam and I began to sing. After a few rotations above the Kansas area, the pendulum finally stopped and touched the map. “Keep singing!” she ordered as she closed her eyes and began to sing with us. The tension in the air increased, making it hard to breathe. Then, it happened. A faint red line was finally forming itself on the map, beginning at the location of the bunker and continuing. It was the first time I felt this hopeful in weeks.

Suddenly, the thin steam erupting from the bowl became thicker. And some lightbulbs around us exploded in a terrible noise. Sam and I both looked at each other. “Uh, Rowena, is it normal?” asked Sam, coughing a little. Rowena kept her eyes closed, “What is it, Samuel?” But before we could say anything, the smoke became thick black in an explosion sound, and the map began to burn almost instantly on the altar. Sam and I immediately tried to stop it from burning. Rowena opened her eyes, completely startled by the sudden commotion. Her eyes widened when she saw what was happening. “No, no, no! It wasn’t supposed to burn!” she screamed as she tried to help us stop the fire. But it was too late. It was almost in ashes. I barely had time to see the red line stopped dead in its tracks to God knows where. It was merely at the frontier of Kansas. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. We were so close! I could see the deception in Sam’s eyes as well.

Everything happened very fast in a  short period. So fast that I struggled to process it. It gave me the weird sensation that I was in a dream, that it couldn’t be real. Just like Dean’s death. It was pushing me over the edge. All my repressed feelings came to the surface. The sadness, guilt, grief, and anger suddenly blinded me, “Son of a bitch! What the hell had happened?! It wasn’t supposed to end like an election for the new pope!” I screamed. Rowena had a sorry look in her eyes.”I’m sorry, darling. I guess it means he doesn’t want us to find him. But I’ll keep looking for a new spell.”, she said as she tried to arrange the mess with Sam. I heard her mumbling "Sometimes Fergus makes me hate myself for participating in that orgy back then." Sam then spoke in an hopeful tone, “I heard about a series of weird murders before coming here. It could be linked to Dean.” I simply nodded my head, trying to keep my emotions at bay to not lashing out on someone. I was trembling, and my heartbeat was wild and erratic. I wanted to smash everything around me, but this mess wasn’t anyone’s fault but Crowley’s. So I breathed deeply and began to help them. 

Later in the day, I decided to seclude myself in my old room to take a nap. The dream was weird, once again. This time, there was a gorgeous blond woman. She was serving a beer to someone. The next part was Casa Erotica worthy but I couldn’t see who was with her. I woke up instantly. I was going crazy. Somehow, I truly felt like I was spying on her, like it wasn’t a regular dream. I finally fell asleep again but this time, all the dream showed me was the name “Black Spur Bar” and then a map with the name Beulah, North Dakota shining bright. This time, I almost fell off my bed. Maybe it wasn’t just a dream? I had to tell Sam.

I sprinted out of my room, hoping to find Sam in the Bunker. Luckily, I heard him speak to someone in his room. He was at his desk, looking at his computer, taking notes with his phone in hand.” Drew Neely, you say? I’ll check this…” I nearly screamed “Sam, sorry to interrupt you but I think we need to go to Beulah in North Dakota.”  With a surprised expression, Sam looked at me and said “Sorry, Cas. Y/N has something to say. I’ll put you on a loudspeaker so you can interact with us. Now, Y/N, will you explain please.”

Part.3 soon

Taglist

@hobby27 @deans-spinster-witch @muhahaha303 @kazsrm67

[melverie]

What are your opinions on the reapers? I love the the lore surrounding them and the theology and mythology

And I love Thirteen

They're protector of souls

Personally I'm just a sucker for the idea of a kind and gentle Death that protects and guides you until it truly is your time to go to the point I even came up with lore for my ACNL town of all things that involves exactly that, so I like to imagine that the reapers in Obey Me work in a similar fashion

Plus we actually do get to see how Thirteen embodies exactly that. Just her expressing how much she used to dislike the human world back when death was at an all time high already shows that she's not really interested in the mere act of reaping souls or in the death of other beings. When she sees the way MC's soul sparkles for the first time in NB, she says she'll be looking forward to reaping it--once their time comes, that is

Then there are the soul candles, hidden at the very end of the Reaper's Cave, protected by various rules, and breaking any one of them results in being hit with a powerful curse. There wasn't really any reason she had to do it, it's just something she decided to implement after learning the Fountain of Knowledge functions similarly. When Lucifer is about to cursh MC's windpipe 'og lesson 16 Belphie' style, instead of jumping in and saving MC herself, she hands them the grimoire, letting MC decide for themself how they want to handle the situation. Also, if she truly is the friend Solomon referred to when talking about his childhood, then she's the one that asked him to protect humanity

So even if reapers at large aren't like this, at the very least Thirteen is essentially the embodiment of a kind and gentle Death that's rooting for you but that also won't stop you if you're stupid enough to go to a place that's literally called Mt. Imminent Death, and I think that's very sexy of her <3

Also YES, Thirteen is A QUEEN and deserves THE WORLD

[br1ghtestlight]

they're wearing their raincoats so for me this is already a 10/10 episode. love when they wear their raincoats!!

not big bob and tina going on the toddler rides at amusement parks together. LESS THRILL MORE CHILL. truly two autistic peas in a pod <3

big bob is seventy five (at least according to louise) this is important lore. also this means bob's dad is the same age as his gayass old man landlord who flirts with him every other day FJDMDJDKSMS according to my caculations big bob would've been 29ish when he had bob which means he met lily when they were in their early twenties. that also means (assuming that lily was the same age as big bob) lily would have been around 43 when she died although the math doesn't add up 100% if you consider her being born in 1941 because it would mean this episode takes place in 2016 which it doesn't. am i overthinking this one-off line where louise guestimates big bob's age??? yes i am thank you VERY MUCH.

LMAOO NOT THE BIG BOB REPUBLICAN DOOMER ARC OH NOOO

big bob making conversation while spending the day with his very young grandchildren: so have you considered that the world is terrible and people are awful and we should all kill ourselves? thoughts?

(im sure that isn't what bob meant its just funny to imagine big bob depression posting circa 2013 tumblr @ his grandkids all day)

ALSO this implies bob has been talking to big bob more regularly lately which is great. they're working on their relationship. a little bit :)

BIG BOB FOR REAL BEING A QANON TRUTHER EXCUSE ME???? THE FUCK. ohh he's literally a doomer he's watching videos about the upcoming apocolypse and how to ration food. HE'S A CLIMATE CHANGR DOOMER ITS SO OVERR im sorry thats so funny im obsessed w/ him

also our first time ever seeing (what im assuming is) bob's childhood home!! very cute. and he made them cookies

BIG BOB COMING TO VISIT BOB AT HIS RESTAURANT???? HUGE WIN???

why is big bob calling bob randomly to talk about how the world is ending and tigers are going extinct what is GOING on. at least he believes in climate change??

"like he's getting ready to..... leave the party. so he doesn't feel bad about telling everyone how much the party stinks" DONT TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT if there's an episode where big bob dies its over for me. like its done <- there won't be but i would be very very sad IF THERE WAS. to be fair we gotta kill off linda's parents too though

aww they're texting regularly <3 i like how you can ALREADY see how much bob and big bob's relationship has improved since the start of the show where bob Literally thought his dad hated him and that he was a disappointment. see what actual open communication can do for you!! im happy bob has at least one parent he can talk to kinda sorta? HE SHARES HELPFUL TIPS SO THAT BOB CAN SAVE HIS FAMILIES LIFE HES TRYING TO HELPP :(

"and today its just gonna be him. and them. and the giant cloud of darkness that follows him wherever he goes" funnily enough thats also what people say when talking about me :3

GRANDPA HUG!!!!!!!

"pop pop how much cotton candy is TOO MUCH cotton candy" "i dont know. three??"

LMAO FOR SOME REASON THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS FUCKIGN QUOTE. big bob when gene comes out to him as genderfluid like

wharf day with pop-pop!!! wharf day with pop-pop!!!!!

grandpa needs a little bench time. im ALWAYS saying this tbh

"don't get any tattoos that your parents can see" FUN GRANDPA he's definitely a better grandpa than he is a dad bcuz he was not doing this shit w/ bob when he was young i can tell you that much

OMG I LOVE TEDDYS RAINJACKET?? sorry i live in a rainforest its my god given right to comment on people's rainy day fashion. its like my one job

"i need to ask you guys A HUGE favor. can you try to take a good picture of me" teddy u are literally always hot this shouldn't be a problem. you're DRIPPING sex appeal. except this is for a handyman website so maybe less sexy?ANY PICTURE I TRY TO TAKE OF MYSELF I LOOK LIKE A MURDERER FJFMDNFJDKDNDJXHXH

louise shows up whenever she goes and figured out the best way to Cause Problems and i respect that about her. that takes real talent and dedication

one thing about the belcher kids they WILL end up locked inside a fortune telling clam in wonder wharf

he's sooo baby

everything is so okay bob dont even WORRY. big bob is asleep on a bench and the kids are stuck inside a giant clam they've done more dangerous stuff like twice this week already. at least they're inside??

"its fun when your dad shows up to. check on your grandpa"

ITS SO EASY FOR YOU BOB WITH YOUR CHARMING LOVEABLE FACE

do you not trust me with the kids :( noo big bob they literally (kinda) trusted GAYLE with the kids for AN ENTIRE WEEKEND u cant be worse than her at taking care of them. she was making them do some shit that Kids should not be doing. anyone remember the pretty paws

??? why was he just randomly like oohh we should win that gorilla for the kids. he loves them SO MUCH im gonna cry <3 he literally loves them and wants them to be happy. he SPOILS them. he's such a good grandpa and such a terrible dad lmfao

"are we being punished? for being helpful and delightful??"

if i was walking around an amusement park and i heard a robotic fortune telling clam SCREAMING for somebody to help it escape i would get the fuck outta there so fast sorry kids. you might be on your own w/ this one

i dont know why bob is acting like he doesn't lose the kids four times a week MINIMUM those mfs will run off anywhere if given half the chance. they live for the thrill

"we lose 'em and then we find them. that's our thing" ?? what did he mean by this

WHY ARE THEY LOOKING FOR "CUTE" TOOLS this subplot is so funny im kinda obsessed. mechanics for the girlies

HOW DO YOU MAKE A TAPE MEASURER LOOK SCARY........

teddy is scaring the hoes nooo. its okay teddy i would hire you maybe(??) well. yknow

IM A GENTLE PERSON :( teddy i will always be your biggest fan wtf he's literally so sweet. he wouldnt hurt a fly

silly <33

LMAO not louise just lying there and saying help us. help us. help us into the microphone she's so cute and SOOO over this whole situation

TEDDY IS HAPPIEST WHEN HE'S EATING BOB'S BURGERS THATS SO SWEET WTF

he's a good grandpa :(

SOMETIMES YOUR GRANDPA CAN BE A LITTLE DARK ABOUT LIFE AND NEGATIVE. YOU MEAN LIKE YOU LMAOO

if you keep saying stuff like that around your grandkids they're gonna believe you.... and then it might actually come true. so maybe don't say horrible stuff about the future to people who will have to live in that future </3

IM NOT ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE AND THATS **BECAUSE** OF MY GRANDKIDS what if i cry right now. he literally loves them so much he's such a good grandpa!!! wtf Anyone else thinking about amelia right now. the ending

AAWWW THIS EPISODE WAS SO CUTE IM OBSESSED WITH BIG BOB he was such a terrible father but he's the best grandpa and he loves these kids SO MUCH. genuinely. and im so happy that his relationship w/ bob is getting better and that they're on better terms. also the subplot with teddy was adorable i always love teddy and linda subplots. they're BESTIES. maaaybe my favorite episode from this season so far but honestly they've all been so great that there's like five different episodes competing for that spot. and we're still only eight episodes in!!! absolutely everything i wanted from an episode with big bob (even if lily wasn't mentioned. SAD!! oh well there are other episodes) and i loved learning more abt his relationship with his grandkids and that dynamic ^_^ <33

[kianaflame23]

NSFW IFRIT!CLIVE X F!READER

NO MINORS ALLOWED! NO AGE BIO? BLOCK! If you are under 🔞, you can ONLY read my SFW fanfics and headcanons!

*WARNING* VERY DARK SMUT! Reader and Clive aren't together so please be careful on reading this. Don't read it if you feel uncomfortable and definitely will write Dominant! FF16 men x reader! Writing Barnabas next so look forward to that! Have a good morning/day/night! ✨️

Oh no.... you noticed that Clive isn't himself as his yellow eyes stared at you, smirking as he tackled you down

His hand gropping your breast as his other hand touches your sex, forcing you to moan loudly

Liking your moans as Ifrit!Clive decides to tear your clothes apart, you screamed and begged for him to stop. Of course, he didn't listen to you and chuckled darkly as he sees your naked body

You were about to cover yourself, however, Ifrit!Clive grabbed your hands and places it above your head, not able to escape as you tried to kick him

You don't want to hurt Clive, he is attractive and strong. Well....very sexy to you but YOU ARE NOT HIS LOVER!

*Flashback*

You started to have romantic feelings for him as you and Clive spend time each other alone. Getting know more about him and his past. Clive told you on what happened to his little brother and how he failed to protect Joshua.... Clive lost his parents...Joshua....and everything because of that mysterious hooded man.... The Dominant..... He is the one who murdered his little brother! He will get his revenge and kill that hooded man! Ending his revenge journey and hoping to know the answers on why The Dominant decide to ruin his life!

You felt so much pain and sorrow as you hugged Clive. Telling him that it is okay for him to cry and doesn’t need to bestoic. Not wanting Clive to blame himself for what happened 13 years ago... You smiled towards him, persuading him to show his emotions to you. Clive immediately hugged you as he sobbed in your neck, his small drops of tears landed on your neck and shoulder. His body shakes as he pulls you closer to his armor chest. You felt your heart aches in sadness as you pat his back softly. You wanted to kiss his cheeks, but you stopped yourself. Not wanting to end your good friendship with Clive. You don't want him to see you as a sister figure and would like to be his maiden....his future wife....If he sees you as a right arm partner and wants you to be his friend, then so be it. You are strong enough to protect yourself. Your family abandoned you when you were a young child....wondering to yourself on why your parents stopped loving you after they left you in a small village.... Learning on how cruel the world is and the people as well as the royalties. At least Clive isn't those powerful, uncaring kings who only thinks of themselves. Clive Rosfield is a great friend you ever had... a charming knight who you truly love and care for....willing to do anything to protect him and to save his life. He did save your life when those horrible knights tried to kill you and even worse...Forever thankfully for his heroic and decided to join his group. You just hope that nothing bad happens to you and Clive during the war and his revenge journey....

*Back to you and Ifrit!Clive....*

Ifrit!Clive tells you that he is going to fuck you until you are filled with his cum. He WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO ESCAPE until he is done with you

You prayed to Eikon, hoping for Clive to come back to his senses and realizes on what he is doing to you.

Sadly, your prayers will not save you as Ifrit!Clive pulls out his cock, inserting you without a warning

Screaming in pain as you cried, Ifrit!Clive smack his lips on yours, silencing your cries and moans. His hand pulls your chin as Ifrit!Clive tilts his head a bit, kissing you more, feeling his tongue touch yours, dominating all around there. You felt ashamed for enjoying your french kissing with Clive. Well....Ifrit!Clive....

Thrusting in and out harshly, already losing you virginity as you know that you're bleeding there.....

Ifrit!Clive pulls away from your lips but still close to you, warning you that you have no choice to stay with Clive or else... He'll continue to take over Clive's body and fuck you.

He isn't going to kill you though. Ifrit finds you interesting.....making you worry if you want to continue being friends with Clive or run away from everyone.....

You need to tell Clive the truth before you decide your fate......

You can feel his armor gloves squeezing your thighs, knowing that you'll get bruises and feel a bit pain as Ifrit!Clive thrusts more deeper in you. Your breasts bounces with such force as Ifrit!Clive keeps being rough on you. Yes, you didn't like feeling pain, however, you closed your eyes in pleasure. Not wanting to admit that you are enjoying yourself as you want him to continue fucking you.....

Why is Ifrit!Clive fucking you...? Why isn't he trying to kill you...?

You will never know... as you moan, you furrowed your eyebrows in pleasure, feeling his cum in you. Ifrit!Clive growled as he thrusts in you more before pulling out.

You smiled weakly as you felt so much cum in you. You REALLY enjoy that intense sex with Ifrit!Clive. Hoping that Clive will be back....right...?

WRONG! You thought Ifrit!Clive will be satisfied and let you go? Running away from him? Oh, how wrong you are....

You are wishing for Cidolfus and Torgal to save you....for now, you'll do your best to pleasure Ifrit!Clive until they arrived.... maybe they can stop Clive and explain to them on what Ifrit did to you....

You'll forgive Clive though. You just can't see him anymore.... praying that he'll forget you and move on. Continuing with his revenge quest and all. After all, you are just an ally to him.... or at least that's what you think anyways....

Ifrit!Clive end ❤