#troy trojans
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pokemonwearingsportsmerch · 5 months ago
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muppetebbtide · 6 months ago
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trojan war tumblr simulator
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🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today
YOU BET IT IS
#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting
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✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow
why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk
🏘️ nobody1020
it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps
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⚔️ sonoftydeus
opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!
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anonymous asked: we should all go home :)
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS
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nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going
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⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?
year 9, day 234: still no....
#all our admins keep DYING
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‼️ trojan-confessions follow
I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid
🐴 horsetaminghector follow
lmaooo is this paris??
🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow
kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk
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❓ myrmidons-confessions
I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe
❓ myrmidons-confessions
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👑 kingofmycenae
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👍🏻 ajaxthegreat
achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????
🏘️ nobody1020
I think that's why he's posting it ngl
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😹 deiphobus42069
imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there
🐆 leopardskiniscool
???????????????
#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill
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#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)
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🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543
so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes
🗣️ homer follow
I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!
🐎 antilochussss
not the direct address????
✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo
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direct address got him :(
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💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear
💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
by ares this can't be happening
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⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta
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do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags
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backpackingspace · 4 months ago
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okay so post epic odyssey where odysseus and Penelope have surfaced from their room finally and he and diomedes are catching up I'm imagining the conversation going something like this
Odysseus: so then I gave up being merciful and became the monster.
Diomedes:....you tried being merciful?
Odysseus: Yes?
Diomedes: you did? You tried being a good merciful person? You?
Odysseus: Yah okay fuck off it was polties dying wish. I had to try.
Diomedes:.....90% of the war crimes in the Trojan war were suggested, planned out, and carried out by you. We literally stoned to death the guy you had a personal grudge against. We framed him for treason and stoned him to death. 70% of why Athena liked you was because she thought she knew all the ways to kill someone and then you'd suggest something insane and I'd see her taking notes. You literally gave Ajex a psyoctic break just being yourself.
Odysseus: shut up
Diomedes: I'm not wrong. Did you tell Penelope about your attempt to be a good person?
Odysseus: What? Of course I did. I told her everything.
Diomedes: did she laugh?
Odysseus:...shut up that's not the point
Diomedes: she did didn't she!!!
Odysseus: ANYWAY eurylochus wasn't appreciative of my return to monsterhood and he started causing problems so I
Diomedes: killed him? Yah saw that coming. No shit. I'm so shocked.
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dionysism · 3 months ago
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"if i was paris i'd have picked athena" "i would have picked hera"
you fool. you utter buffoon. it doesn't matter. it never mattered. you sound like the dumbasses who say they wouldn't have turned around if they were orpheus. you, like them, are completely missing the point. the war was always going to happen as a result of who he picked, just perhaps the catalyst would have been different. and does picking a different catalyst really make you any better? lets say you picked hera and her offer of kingdoms. so you doom your nation to ruin for wealth? power? and that, in your mind, is the morally superior choice to dooming it for love? shall we clap and cheer for you? oh wise one so above the fickleness and follies of love! you, unlike paris, would doom your nation for Practical reasons. well, forgive me, but thats incredibly dull and you sound incredibly boring
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astrothii · 2 months ago
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the whole trojan war could have been avoided if paris just. ate the apple in one comically large bite. athena, hera, and aphrodite would have been stunned into silence.
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leosoralyyn · 1 year ago
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Odysseus watching Achilles absolutely mutilate Hector's corpse
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xixovart · 3 months ago
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odysseus and telemachus.
father and son.
they’re going to kill me some day
(thx to @ikea09 for the idea :])
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ala-chrisgoods · 7 months ago
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some pic I drew on February...I always post them on LOFTER and forgot I have Tumblr...(little dumb)
my Apollo looks like a mortal man cause now he's healing, he'll be much more big if he want show the power of a god.(maybe tall as 3 meter, even more. :)
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bugbear55 · 1 month ago
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“Andromache, my love, take your time.”
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waaiting, andromache when you come home i’ll be waaiting, 🥲
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tenoart · 25 days ago
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Hector of troy- because most art I see of him is in armour or scary and that needed fixed
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athleticperfection1 · 1 year ago
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Troy Cheerleader
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orpheus-has-lyreizz · 22 days ago
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Andromache
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greatest of the Trojans jealous of his own horse he's so funny
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maggie44paint · 28 days ago
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Helen is just better at it I'm afraid
More Malewife Menelaus AU cuz im insane
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meboii27 · 7 months ago
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achilles n his silly actions
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dionysism · 3 months ago
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i love hector paris and cassandra so bad they are one of The sibling trios ever to me like ohhh my loves you are all so doomed. none of you will survive. i love you so much. hector who wants to hate paris so bad because wouldn't it be easier? wouldn't it be so simple? but he can't, of course he can't. and cassandra. cassandra who can see the end and knows no matter how desperately she begs her brothers to listen to her nothing will change. and maybe she even wants to hate them a little for that. but she can't, either. and paris... foolish cowardly paris... never been the son you should be, the brother you should be. but if you have anything its love. too much, maybe. enough to doom a nation. you'll watch your older brother die, and your sister will watch you die, then she'll be taken across the sea to die herself. but the love!! the love i know they all had for eachother gods somebody sedate me
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thelesbianthespianposts · 4 months ago
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Pre-Iliad Dashboard simulator
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⬜️ iphy-the-princess-deactivated12990415
Eeeee!!! Guess who’s getting married to swift-footed Achilles??!!!
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💪 bestofgreeks
hurts being the only competent Greek warrior but someone’s gotta do it
#aristos achaeon #suck it agamemnon #im so hot #trojan war
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🪢 ilovemywife
I’m so strong for putting up with the other kings of Greece. #Except my bestie o-my-gods-just-let-me-die-omedes the only real one #if I have to hear agamemnon refuse to acknowledge the gods’ help one more time #he has so much hubris #could never be me
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🖕o-my-gods-just-let-me-die-omedes
why do people find Odysseus charming? He’s literally just lying about everything??
🖕o-my-gods-just-let-me-die-omedes
I get it
#i would legit die for him #hes the best of all of us ok?? 245 notes
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👁️ pleaseimaprophetiswear
PLEASE SOMEONE LISTEN TO ME
🗡️ agamemnon
yes?
👁️ pleaseimaprophetiswear
SOMEBODY ELSE
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👑 prettiest-girl-ever-derogatory
Day 57 in Troy: living my best life, my new “husband” was away today thank the Gods. I heard there’s going to be a war over me. Love the sentiment but it’s a little much y’know?
#my husband is so nice but he’s so dramatic #hes pooled together all the armies in Greece to come together #no hector hate in the reblogs ok? #hes actually pretty ok #we make fun of paris together
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🏹 paris-not-the-city
Ok poll to prove I’m not crazy
No nuance option bc I wasn’t given one
#not my fault #its clearly aphrodite #olympian gods #i didn’t know kidnapping the queen of sparta would have consequences
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✨ queen-clytemnestra
im going to kill my husband. with an axe
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