#trivializing mental illness
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Quotober #14:
…Yet remembering was futile; the shuddering softshell ... could not remember the last time that he had felt at all— a lapse of memory like a voracious black hole had long ago sucked at all vague sensation of happiness, stretched and wove it into vaporous fiber, and had consumed Donatello whole.
("Purple Patterns: a RotTMNT Fanfiction" on AO3)
#quotober#october#rottmnt#rottmnt fanfiction#fanfic quotes!!#from my fanfics on ao3#yippee#uh#long quote#hmm#i cannot remember anything#except trivial details#mental illness#angst fic#the sanguine softshell#ao3#rise of the tmnt#purposefully used the ellipsis wrong#it is because i use ... where pauses go#but i am omitting text here!!#this quote is so LONG#october 14
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for the love of god why is the “war flashbacks” meme still a fucking thing to this day
(because people thrive on stereotypes about serious mental illnesses)
#ableism#sanism#saneism#ptsd#ptsd awareness#youtube users when remembering something doesn’t automatically mean ptsd:#internet users when ptsd isn’t exclusively caused by wars and only wars:#can we stop boiling down ptsd to “lol funny war flashbacks it’s exactly like remembering a cringy gross thing that kinda squicks you out”#are we still not willing to let go of the “ptsd is only caused by wars” myth because haha funny internet catchphrase???#please stop flanderising mental disorders for your overused memes that should have died a decade ago#swearing#swearing cw#swearing tw#vent#rant in tags#do not harrass anyone who does this#please stop trivializing mental illness#*oh and recently people have been doing this “war flashbacks” bullshit in IMAGE form#YEAH CUZ IT NOT BEING IN PICTURE FORM WAS THE FUCKING PROBLEM /sarcasm#oh and the “‘nam flashbacks lol” shit#please stop using the vietnam war as a catch-all for any kind of memory not even just trauma just anything resembling a bad memory
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each pill is just a tiny roll of paper with the qr code leading to his youtube channel
omg wait not an empty pill bottle filled with affirmations and prompts and kind words and qr codes to funny videos would be so dream core
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counted up alllll my tw fic and it's... 170k words 🙃 in 14 months 🙃 and im still not sick of these assholes. dude im gonna be here for a whileee. head in hands
#see. my fixations usually last four months or so and ill write like. maybe 3k worth of fic#so comparatively? this is obscene#owen pussy madness go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr#like i am not exaggerating when i say madness HFJKDSF#and no none of it's posted yet. except the one fic. im having Shay Issues™#once i get on my ocd meds again its ovahhhh#bro but what if writing tw fic is a compulsion FHDSFJKD#(im not trivializing btw im dx'd w the shit n it makes my life hell. issa joke 🙄)#what if i. u kno tht meme thts like sorry i stopped posting i started taking a mood stabilizers n im not obsessed w bts anymore#what if that happens to me O.o#sorry i dont talk abt the torchwood twink's coochie anymore i started taking fluvoxamine and now im in law school#u kno whats the best part of a rlly rlly intense fixation is when its over n u look back and ur like what in god's name was that shit#it's like post nut clarity ur just horrified. ur like who was i. who was this beast. touches ground what happened here#fhdsk nah i talk shit but im havin fun i am. mostly. mental shit sucks but i love these characters n i love playing w them#i might be here a while like i rlly truly cannot believe im still stimulated. crazy. is this maturation. fuck knows#txt#sss
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I dont know how to make tumblr users understand that while, yes, treating serial killers as untouchable mysterious geniuses is harmful so is treating them like inhuman, pure evil entities who only kill because they have shitty beliefs. A mentally healthy person does not commit serial murder, period. And acting like there is no mental illness at play or like trying to understand their motives is somehow a bad thing is not the progressive take that you think it is.
#I see SO MANY posts like this and like. I get it. The monetization of true crime sucks I get it#But you really cant trivialize and generalize such a massive topic. Have some nuance Im begging#This applies to mass murder too! There have been female; poc; and trans mass murderers#and if that makes you uncomfortable to think about you should probably address why!#The mass murder phenomenon is based in our culture and mental illness; It isnt EXCLUSIVE to racists. Most mass shootings arent hate crimes#People are so uneducated about these topics and it drives me up the wall sorry LMAO#malhare.txt
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i feel like such a loser loll
#being mentally ill is like excusable when youre young but im almost 30 and feeling like people are like#*noticing* i dont have my shit together :)#getting driven home by an 18 y/o just feels. like im a child. ig.#im overthinking it lol she offered so like its fine.#also ive just been in bad place recently and i cover it up by bitching about trivial stuff#truly im at my limit with myself right now i want a break from my head#this is the behavior from me people get tired of really fast and i dont blame them#shadow#talk
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someone just said to me “you’re still in school ?” well yes, some of us took a little bit more time to figure out what we want
#there was no ill intend behind his words i could tell that#but it didn't feel nice#ANYWAY working on not being so mentally ill all the time and stop letting such trivial things ruin my day#kat speaks
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being a psych student and a huge nerd is wild because like…i’m out here diagnosing my blorbos
#el rambles#anyway if anyone wants to know what their faves mental illness is hit me up#ajsjjdjd#this is a joke i promise i am not trivializing mental illness#and fictional characters aren’t going to fit into a certain diagnosis or be representative of a psychological condition bc they’re fake#however i cant get my head out of psychopathology mode#which leads to diagnosis
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listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"
like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.
#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore#its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household#ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail#whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes#ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out#of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally#and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me#they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can#they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition#they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me#by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once#ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point#and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on#while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems#mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is#instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world#and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life#mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad#im so fucking tired!#3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw
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i need a place to seriously write about my mental stuff
#trivial talk#its one of those things where i think i should archive because i reflected a lot on it and i have a good grasp on it now#but also being mentally ill in every wrong way#severely impacts my likeability i understand that
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was excited for something but no i hav to get my happiness crushed isnt tha fucking great cant be happy for once in my life huh
#funy how my mental state is so bad ill break down crying over smth as trivial as this.. ig ill just hurt myself later idk anymore#tw vent#i hate being alive why cant i be happy why cant i do the htings i like
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ai generated minecraft being weeeird lol isn’t a fucking excuse to mock mentally ill people.
#ableism#sanism#saneism#”schi zo craft” nice#using derogatory shit you can’t reclaim to say “HAHA THIS IS LIKE SO WEIIIIIRD LOL”#“lobotomy lol!!” bullshit#no ai being weird is not a fucking excuse to shit on mentally ill people#trivialize the serious shit they go through because they’re mentally ill#ai generated minecraft#ai#minecraft#swearing#swearing cw#swearing tw#“omg it’s a lobotomy simulator haha” how much you wanna bet they literally only know what a lobotomy is based on lol random XD shitposts#the side effects of lobotomies were more than just “haha look weiiiiiird!! holy crap things sure are weird looking teehee!!”#lobotomy#don’t oversimplify a real form of torture against marginalized groups into le epic meme slang for “lmao this is so weird guys!!”#when you haven’t even been through that torture#it’s just misinformation being spread via quirky epic maymays#stop fucking putting diagrams and shit of lobotomies in your quirky funny memey haha minecraft ai videos#stop making your thumbnail for “lol weird trippy game!!” lobotomy diagrams#fucking STOPPPPPPP#all caps#wall of tags
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I had a dream that I was editing one of the early chapters of my book and I kept changing things and moving sentences but no matter what I did, none of it actually changed and I was crying in frustration. If anyone was wondering how writing is going
#personal#writing#writeblr#i dont want to trivialize mentall illness but i am truly this close 🤏 to becoming insane#writing progress#writing update
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I've written a big rant a bunch of times but. I love you apex characters with "scary" mental illnesses..... Even if the writers don't..
#this is basically wraith and caustic#teehee#did you know you can write dark and grim characters without trivializing mental illness
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I don't wanna expose any usernames here but listen.
If you genuinely think it's okay to put "delulu" in your URL, don't follow me. That's a very harmful term that's come along with this tiktokish wave of watering down mental health terms into what is basically just a new, trendier way of using them as insults and making a mockery of them. It's not a cutesy little Fandom way of saying you're being a bit silly about your favorite blorbo, it's barely a step above just saying slurs or going "I'm so ocd" "I'm so schizo" about something. I'm frankly really tired of this trend of people appropriating mental illness to express that they feel passionately about some characters or a piece of media. Can you please just learn to say what you mean instead of trivializing neurodivergency.
"Delulu" "acoustic" "restarted" Do. Not.
You sound like people who claim it's okay to use the r slur ""as a joke"".
It's not cute, it's not funny, it shouldn't be okay just because it's trending. Think for yourself for one second and do better.
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- # LEMON SUGAR !
flew like a moth to you (sunlight)
cw: weird pet play, reader has a vagina, large age gap (reader early 20’s & logan is…. not), HEAVY PISS KINK, dirty yucky icky gross vibes, xmen 2 coded logan, dad (father figure) bf talk and behaviors (old man, kiddo, dad, essentially lifestyle dom-ing you) anal plug mention, praise kink but one usage of ‘bitch’ and ‘toilet’, reference to a canon scene with jean but in this au she was just clowning on him as a friend, scogan crumbs, mentally ill & unhinged!reader, self objectification/dehumanization (?), reader: “i wish a/b/o was real :(”, pt.2 to . bc the dynamic might be confusing, implied unaware mutant!reader
do not copy, translate, or feed this work to ai
1k event. / please consider commissioning me
Logan doesn’t slap his tip against your cheek more than a quick initial love tap (if a tight awkward handshake from a man decades older than you was a sexual act) but he loves to force your head against his crotch and really massage it into your skin. His other hand holds his dick like he’s aiming to piss, a slight scowl twisting his lips because he’s trying to concentrate. His cigar hangs out of his mouth and his bulky hips swivel as he grinds his precum into your face, cheeks, around your eyes, lips, check check check.
He doesn’t even necessarily want you to suck him off that bad and he’s not even trying to cum. orgasming is a slower pursuit for him these days anyway. He just wants to dirty his puppy up a little, enrichment and whatever the fuck. Maybe you can make a game of trying to catch the salty droplets on your tongue, see if you can spot them when they’re about to gush out and trickle down.
An activity can both be a perverted parlor trick and a form of indulgent self care that trivial things like ice rollers or under eye patches couldn’t replace.
“There we go, atta puppy.” Logan chuckles and ruffles your hair when you manage to lick away a bead of precum before it can drip down out of your reach.
“Daddy, don’t tease. ‘m trying to focus, that’s rude.” You give him a good shake, smiling wildly.
You’re already drunk and loopy just huffing the pure musk emanating from his uncut cock. You hum as the salty tang of his juices taint your tastebuds, luxuriating in the aftertaste like you were chowing down on a dainty macarron. He doesn’t really believe in eating or drinking anything special to make his crotch and the things it produces taste better. You couldn’t be more happy about that, the whiskey sour twang riding on the flavor notes were much more preferable than some biblical concoction of milk and honey. If only it was more acidic, that way it could burn a hole through your tongue and your cervix. Marking you so thoroughly from the deepest parts of your soul, you’d always be empty and every pang of pain would call for the man that caused it to soothe your burns with his saliva.
Intimacy with Logan feels like you’re reconnecting in whatever version of the garden of Eden can exist on Earth. Why can’t it be here? With you on your knees so close to barking into the skin of your old man’s cock, a fancy cushion settled under you with little golden tassels hanging off the corners. You are always so willing to be the best you can be for him, but he’ll never allow your service to come at the price of individual pain. Your eyes flutter and you take one of your many breaks to plunge your nostrils into his thick bush.
Wooden and spicy, your favorite perfume that is undeniably raunchy yet sensuous and romantic. Natural. You never thought you could be so in love with how a man’s pubes smell, but you can’t say that you thought that any part of this would have become your life’s purpose in more ways than not. Logan chuckles and pats your cheek, enamored with how clearly you seem to be enjoying suffocating yourself in his groin. He sharply inhales through his nose when you move up to trail your tongue along his happy trail, lapping at the thinner hairs because you adore each one just as much as every part of him.
“Bet you wish you could live off my dick, don’t ya, bunny?”
Of course you nod and moan as you let yourself be pulled back to where you’re supposed to be, the mothership calls you home and you answer happily with your phantom tail wagging all the way.
You pant, digging your nose bridge into the crease where his hip bleeds into his inner thigh, “Mmfh- hah… tastes good, Daddy. I could die here…”
You wanted to cut your voice break of ‘Daddy’ short, but you haven’t arrived at that particular station in your subconscious to shed your skin entirely. You’re having trouble forming a coherent line of thought and finishing your sentences now, but you feel sheepish about how easily he can box you into going nonverbal, so you clamor to stay afloat.
You forget that Logan knows your game by now, every step and caveat and every miniscule and complicated rule. It’s cute how you’re still ashamed of letting your dear old dad see you in all of your bunny-puppy-deer-kitty pet glory, when he clocked that shit the minute your shaky eyes fixated on his truck’s glove box rather than make a second of eye contact with him. You’re fucked up, there’s something fractured deeper in you that you keep under a diary shaped lock and key, but all these jagged edges have bows teetering on their precipices.
You’ve let him put them there, with a fond eyeroll and heaps of head pats. Thank your lucky stars that there’s something fucked up with his psyche too, buried under all his other baggage, because that first ride home with you didn’t end in tears and your nipples caught in his canines. You got to be a bunny settling down in their deserved cozy den instead of a rabbit relying on their prey instincts to throw the predator chasing them off their twitching fuzzy cotton tail.
You don’t get to hide and shrink in yourself. Not when the curled up needy angel hidden under the layers of you makes his jaw ache so ferociously that it’s borderline bestial.
Baby, you’ve gotta know that if he could, he’d pick you up with his teeth by your scruff so your feet would never have to touch the ground and grow ripe with callouses.
He takes a puff from his cigar and shakes the excess ash over your shoulder, out of your view because he also knows that you’d try to swallow the unhealthy specks down too. It’s a constant thing on his mind, the never ending job of pulling your leash enough to wean you off of engulfing whatever weird shit into your mouth you can see out of the corner of your eye. And if it comes from him or was in contact with him? Hell, the stuff might as well be damn catnip to you.
He thinks he feels the same way about you, that’s what he gets for being stupid enough to have an inch of his heart unguarded. You found a way and wormed your way through his arteries, and now he’d rather go sober cold turkey than let you squirm away. Which is what you try to do by pulling back and settling soft hands on his hairy and beefy thighs.
He’s got you hook, line, and sinker when he clasps a burly hand around the base of his thick cock in the poor imitation of a knot. He even squeezes in short pulses, bringing to mind what it would look like swelling up and pumping you full of potent cum. Breeding you with all the love of a man who wants more of you in the world because that might make him believe in it again. He wags his length in his hand to you, wordlessly offering you your favorite snack because you’ve been so very good for your old man.
“Come on, hun, want your treat? I know my puppy wants this big dick in their cute fuckin’ mouth.” He grumbles, stubbing his cigar out on his arms without even flinching or gritting his teeth and tossing it on the floor.
The burn’s already healed by the time you’ve gotten yourself and obediently let your tongue hang out of your mouth. He grunts, pleased, and dabs his sticky tip on the center of your tongue. It gives you the taste you crave while simultaneously depriving you of having your mouth filled like you desperately need to be able to get through the day.
You whine, Logan’s lips split on a wry smile but he doesn’t laugh this time. Nah, he’s too busy feeding his throbbing cock into your mouth, cutting off your whining and reducing a thunderous sound to a muffled crack of lightning.
“Theeeeeeeeere we go, kiddo, relax.” He says a few inches in, because your gag reflex is already tickling the back of your throat.
You breathe through your nose and distract yourself by playing with the hairs on his legs, drawing little hearts and stars as you take more of his length. Tears well up in your pitiful eyes but you brave through it. They eventually bubble over as your lips are forced to stretch, but Logan’s rough thumb dutifully wipes them away just like how you’d attentively cleaned his tip.
His head falls back with a slight crack and his sweaty pecs heave, “Drank a whole lot for you today, ‘m all nice and backed up just waitin’ for a pretty lil’ thing to relieve myself with.”
Suddenly you’re a bunny hopping off on a mission, no god could pull you off of Logan’s musky cock as you swallow around him. You don’t really feel like bobbing your head and humming today, you’re tuckered out from how late he kept you up late last night. He’s not going to just fuck your mouth without being asked, as much as he cares about you, you’re impossibly cute when you’re forced to do the tiniest bit of work.
If your mouth wasn’t so stuffed full of dick you’d pout, and the raised eyebrow Logan gives you means he knows that. You’re a good pet though, so you work yourself off of his length, take a deep breath, and immediately slide back down to the hilt. His full balls press against your chin and you rub the heavy sacks with both hands.
“Oh, fuck.” Logan groans, his fingernails dig into your scalp like he’s the one that needs to stay grounded. “Your gonna make your old man jizz his pants too quick if you keep fuckin’ playin’ with my balls like that.”
You don’t mind that at all, but there's still something else you’re after. You didn’t think much of how many bottles of water and glasses of alcohol he had thrown back today, maybe it was some sort of mutant thing that you just didn’t understand. Super dehydration or whatever, but the fact that he had been preparing a little surprise for his piss thirsty puppy made you want to give him your bloody heart right out of your chest.
His moans and growled promises of rewards and declarations of the rawest form of love a person could feel fade into the background. You hollow your cheeks and go for gold, wet ‘schlop!’-ing sounds bounce off the walls as you fuck your throat with his girthy cock. Not the longest in the world, another one of your blessings (you’ve heard mutterings about mission showers and some guy that shoots lasers out of his eyes taking that prize), but the way it fills up the space in your mouth to the point it could burst gives your clit tachycardia.
“Yeah, fuck, are you ready to drink up, bitch? ‘m gonna use you like a toilet, gonna cum too- god fuckin’ damn-”
You give his balls a solid squeeze as the golden shower pours down your throat and past the seam of your lips to the floor. You don’t stop your ministrations, you actually speed up your pace and bring your wrists into it. Your hands bumping against his imitation knot-hand as you move them in circles, jacking him off while your plush lips glide up and down his cock.
You’re rubbing your pussy against the cushion, it has corduroy buttons that send a tingle down your spine when they catch your clit. The emerald green fabric drags and moves as you hump it while you put your all into making your dad-boyfriend-everything cum. You’re outright bouncing his heavy balls in your hands now, they’re so full you know that one load isn’t going to be nearly enough. So you tell yourself to lock in and hum, sending vibrations down his dick.
Determined puppies get extra treats, and you’ve never gone without them. So you push yourself to make eye contact, flicking your eyes up to stare at Logan as you ruin your own throat via his dick like it was nothing more than your toy. You think it���s the sheer and essentially licentious mannerisms and the glaringly obvious truth that there are men who are not immune to watching a pretty pet posturize themselves on an altar of their own making just to paw at their owner’s legs.
“My baby bunny, too damn sweet to me, yessssss-” His mouth wrenches up almost in pain as he clings to the back of your head and pounds your throat on his own for the next minute.
“Drink it all up, let me feel you swallow it down f’r me.”
You purposefully yank yourself off of his mid stream and duck down to bob his balls on your tongue, lathering them in that pungent scent. You rotate your wrist around his tip, coaxing him to empty everything he has in him and give it all to you. Your hand becomes just as scent marked as his balls and the divots in your collarbone where drops of his piss and cum are forming tiny pools.
He groans at the sight, “Doing so fuckin’ well, collectin’ Daddy’s juices and hoardin’ ‘em all for yourself.”
Your mouth envelops his twitch dick once more, most of what Logan keeps cooped up for you belongs in your growling tummy.
“You better not hiss at me when I have to wash your mouth out later, baby.”
Thus, your perfect record remains intact, you beam around his still hard dick as you float in a starless sea of white and yellow. A coat rack for cock fulfilling its duties.
His piss isn’t too orange-y, you’re glad you don’t have to nag him about cutting back on the booze this time.
Sadly there’s no blood sticking to your scalp from his nails, but you embrace the sting their indents leave behind. They’re almost as breathtaking as the plug buried in your ass, Dad always likes to keep your holes stretched out and ready.
—————————————————————————
“Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan. They don’t bring him home. They marry the good guy.”
With you, he was that good guy. Whatever it meant to be one after all these years and invisible scars. It’s indescribable, how much meaning you can find in having to gain the strength to take care of someone else completely. Be their Atlas and shoulder the world so they can waltz around you, their wings spread wide. He’s glad, deep down, that your wings don’t extend past the small house he’s stuffed you in.
Logan Howlett deserves a nice thing or two every once in a while, and he already got a bottle of scotch from Scott. Fucker thinks he’s so clever. You’d do just fine being the second nice thing. A shame that the nicest thing you probably have is that slick stained cushion, he’s not anybody to write home about. But you seem to have stitched your sides together when he wasn’t looking, sewn your identity into his until you had emotionally fused into one being.
It happened way too fast and when he thought he wasn’t meant for loving a little pup like you, but he’s tired of being some old grump about it. You’d probably snap and try to beat him to a pulp with the bats he keeps in the closet (for you to use in emergencies since you don’t leave), and he’d have to hunt you down through the
Anything else other than you meant about as much to him as a pile of cigarette butts.
And some time later when the dam bursts for the first time and you’re trying not to fall off that cliff, sisyphus-esque struggling through recurring hoarse sobs because Logan is uncomfortably stroking your back gently as if you were a person and not a corpse, you’ll start to feel the molten hot gold seeping in and filling the cracks.
Maybe one day you can tell him about the v-shaped scars on your back, the ones that look like they were created when something was ripped away from you. They’re slanted craters, almost, hard material resembling bone jutting out from your back. Hooks lacking their ornaments.
Hell snatch up your old fashioned grocery list (written with an almost completely dried out ink pen from the bank on a flimsy college ruled sheet of paper) and make a quick run while you heal more than just your body, submerged in another acid trip of a dream.
You wanted to make a lemon cake before the summer ended, it’s always been your favorite.
#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#logan x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut#tw pet play#tw piss kink#tw age gap#logan x you#logan howlett x you#xmen x reader#xmen smut#dead dove do not eat#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#marvel x reader#marvel x you#marvel smut#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman smut#xmen movies#x men x reader#x men smut#wolverine x men#wolverine xmen#⚰️.deaddove
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