#trigger warning: mentions of alcoholism

[dumbbitchdisaster]

Drinking wine doesn’t count if you drink enough to forget about the calories>>

[synonymroll648]

from a vibes perspective, i totally understand why so many people look at keefe and go ‘this guy would be the male equivalent of a wine aunt when he’s older’. 

but. but. 

taking lore into consideration, in my heart, he’s terrified of alcohol (even if he tries really hard to hide it). because. like. his first exposure is almost guaranteed to be through cassius, and cassius canonically threw a glass extremely close to him at least once when he was, like, 8. maybe cassius wasn’t always extra nasty when he was drunk, but there’s gotta be a correlation in keefe’s brain between risking getting seriously hurt (emotionally or physically) and alcohol consumption that’s really hard for him to shake. 

[krikeymate]

Fic title “I tried”

Sam spins around the doorway and feels like she can finally breathe for the first time all night. Her sister had been missing for hours, upset and borderline hysterical when she ran from the twins, but she’s finally found her.

Whatever it is, whatever’s wrong, Sam can fix it. She's here now.

Her sister is huddled in the corner of some stranger's bedroom, music thumping up from the floor below. The room isn’t lit, brightened only by the light of the hallway from the open door, but something tells Sam this is nothing short of deliberate. Tara's face is hidden behind her hair and turned away, but Sam doesn't need to see the figure’s face to know it's her sister.

Bright pink boots stand out in the darkness with recognisable peeling stickers on the toes. There’s the glint of a bracelet around her wrist, a carefully selected gift from Sam herself, given this past Christmas and decorated with a unique selection of charms.

And who else would go to a party only to hide away somewhere dark and alone, except someone who knows they shouldn’t be there at all?

Besides, Sam has always known her sister. Even if she doesn’t know herself.

She steps into the room, pushing the door closed behind her, left open only by a crack. Hey, she whispers into the dark.

Her greeting is answered only by the shuffle of feet against the carpet as the figure huddles themself tighter, like she could become less visible if only she made herself smaller.

Sam has no choice but to take it as an invitation, dropping herself down next to her sister, leaving no space between them. She presses her arm against her, hoping she takes as much comfort from the contact as Sam would herself.

They sit there together in silence for minutes, before Tara can take it no longer.

“I tried,” she whispers, gaze fixed on her fingers, shaking and wrapped around a bottle nestled into her lap. “I really really tried.”

Sam drops her head to Tara’s shoulder, desperate to comfort her but not knowing where to start, what she needs.

“I know,” she murmurs softly. She wonders which Tara’s referring to – the exam she failed, the avoidance and running, the refusal to pick up her phone, or the drinking habit she’d been trying to quit. She wonders if Tara even knows herself.

It doesn’t matter. Sam’s here to help her through it all. Her sister will never have to struggle alone, not while Sam breathes.

She reaches out for the bottle in Tara’s hands and slides it free. Expensive, and out of place at this last-minute frat party.

This isn’t the first place Tara has stopped at tonight, Sam thinks.

Dropping it beside her, she reaches back to tilt her sister’s face towards her. Her eyes are red and puffy, tear tracks shining on her face. She’d been crying for a while, it feels a lot like a noose around her neck to know Tara thought she had to deal with this pain alone.

Tara’s lip shakes as her eyes well with fresh tears. “I don’t know what to do,” she cries.

In an instant, Sam is upright and pulling her sister into her lap. “We’ll figure it out, my love,” she promises. “You’re not alone.”

Tara clings onto her sister, fingers digging tightly into her back.

“I fucked up, I really fucked up Sam.”

“There is nothing you can do that we can’t fix, together.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

MASSIVE TW (check tags for details before reading!!!)

Hi, just reminding you that Hagrid in cannon was an alcoholic, the Dursleys were abusive (Petunia swung a frying pan to Harry’s head and he just ducked, it was so normal to him that he didn’t think much of it) and Dobby self-harmed…

[wa1tngtill1d13]

⭐️Let’s fuckin ruin my life⭐️

Does anyone else just want to do all the drugs in the world? And absolutely ruin your life because what’s the point anymore?

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Binge eating help?

Hello! I have issues with binge eating and I'd love to get some advice from people with the same issue who have managed to treat it.

SPECIFICALLY: I compulsively eat at night. I will wake up at 1am, 3am, 5am and go into the fridge, the cupboards. My trigger is my rest hours. I eat well and properly all day (usually, sometimes not) I am hydrated.

When my responsibilities end, I go to sit down and suddenly I feel like I need to eat.

I have tried willpower, setting limits, but somehow I end up practically dissociating and watching myself scarf down anything I can get my hands on. I've gone up 20 pounds in the last year due to it.

I have always had issues with food, but I used to curb it with Marijuana or drinking- I'd do those instead of snack. Now I'm 175 days sober and struggling hardcore with food.

Point of note: I am also on ADHD stimulant medication, it doesn't make me food adverse during the day but I do binge more when it wears off. I can't change it but it may be a factor?

The worst part is not feeling in control of it. When I try to stop or restrict my eating, I panic, I get depressed, I get distraught, disregulated.

Any advice from those who can relate and have gone through this would be appreciated 🥲

[ghost-of-you]

I found this reaction to 5sos5 and it provided a new perspective on what the album could be about: https://youtu.be/OELCdhmi2io?si=3kLmP0fP2S3-VSWB

Wait wait wait I'm sorry but having shit like caramel be about the color of some hard licors and the comedown of getting sober is kinda mind-blowing. You add that to tracks like ydgtp and red line and tears and bloodhound even bleach and efyts and have that be about you fighting yourself and themes like addiction and alcoholism actually adds a whole new layer of interpretations about the songs. I think you can actually contextualize most of the song on the album around this and OH MY GOD. I'm legit staring at the wall trying to formulate something more coherent but he legit broke me. The whole motif of running around in circles trying to chase something you cant find anymore applied to trying to find the person you felt like you were when drinking or getting high was fun and made you feel good but now every time you crash, you crash harder so you try to stay away but you keep relapsing is actually fascinating. And it works? "When I lived between the bars" "it's hard to fake when I'm not faded" "I guess that's why I'm always high" "all my friends are up in mars... another lonely night" the entirety of bloodhound??? Like legit I'm sitting here 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 thank you so much for sending this, will be thinking about it forever.

[priestbit]

                                  [ ˑ ˑ ˑ ] 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑺 & 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 , a comprehensive study.

This meta will discuss Donnie's relationship with his actual family members and his relationship with family as a concept. Here I'll be exploring how his attitude towards it has shifted and changed throughout his life. I will be touching on some fairly triggering topics in this meta, all of which have been tagged and listed below. For that reason, this meta is under a read more. Please take care when reading, and don't worry if you aren't in the headspace to read this, there's no hard feelings.

Please be aware that the following topics will be discussed, some in greater detail than others: addiction, child neglect/abuse, allusions to csa, religious trauma, homophobia, pregnancy, addiction, drug use, alcoholism, family death, suicide, trauma, and discussions of war.

Donnie, despite all the misconceptions one may have of him, is motivated by family and legacy. It haunts him in a way that nobody talks about. Every man in the Watts family tree, as far back as they can trace being in the States, has served the military in one way or the other. Every man in the Watts family, since the end of the Civil War, has owned and trained horses for one purpose or the other. They may not have been in that profession their entire lives, but they all started there. Donnie did. His father did. His brother did. You get the idea. This is part of the reason why Donnie always felt so conflicted about what he'd do once he'd graduated high school. Would he continue the family legacy and enlist like his father had? Would he follow in his brother's footsteps and look to make a name for himself as a rancher? Or would he follow his heart and become a rockstar?

Ultimately, Donnie decided to follow his heart. He's always had something to prove, his mother made sure of that. He was going to make his family (and to him, at the age of nineteen, his family consisted of his brother, his sister-in-law, his niece, and his nephew) proud. He was going to do something that would, in his eyes, make him worthy of their love. Achieving his dreams would also show them how good of a job they did in taking him in, as he always feels as though he owes them for that (even though they volunteered to do it, and were happy to help out their little brother. Brody especially, as he carries so much guilt for leaving Donnie alone with their mother in the first place.)

I think that, as a child, Donnie based his notion of family off of what his mother told him. His idea of what a family should be was very much in line with the nuclear family, a mother, a father, the white picket fence, and two children. The idea of it was hammered into his head so often-and so brutally-that he felt othered by the fact that he was being raised by a single mother. This othering led to him resenting the very idea of the family home. He hated it whenever his mother would try to engage in things like family dinner at the dining table. Or dragging him to church every Sunday because that's what families were supposed to do.

When he was taken away from his mother at the age of twelve, he was introduced to what an actual, healthy family unit looked like. Brody Watts had gotten away from Texas and made a damn good life for himself. He had two beautiful kids, a wife who adored him, and Dogwood Ranch in his care. Spending his teen years with Brody and Cassidy helped heal a lot of childhood wounds, so much so that by the time his eighteenth birthday rolls around and his mother contacts him for the final guilt trip he'll ever receive from her all he can do is feel hatred for her. Hatred for her and love for the brother who'd taken him in, love for the sister-in-law who had become the older sister he'd always wanted, and love for the kids who called him 'Uncle D!' whenever they saw him. He wanted that. He wanted a home like theirs, warm and welcoming and the total opposite of the crucifix-infested battlefield that his mother had raised him in.

His early twenties were rough. Addled by fame he was not prepared for, and an addiction to anything that takes him skywards for a couple of hours. Heroin was the real killer. He overdosed twice, and was saved twice by a family he didn't share a single drop of blood with. Rancid Creature wasn't just a successful metal band, Rancid Creature was Donnie's entire world, and a love letter to the dear friend he'd lost in Lee Bennett (who had conceptualised the band when they were thirteen and still fumbling their way through learning how to play their instruments. Lee played bass, Donnie was the drummer. The dream rhythm section.) Izzy, Sammy and Clara were, and still are, like siblings to Donnie. He would drop anything to help them... he knew it wasn't the conventional family, but it was his. It was the only one he could have around all the touring and the TV interviews anyway.

Family wasn't just a loving partner and a couple of kids running around to Donnie anymore. But it's the prospect of a family that ultimately pushed him into getting clean. Anita Huerta, a long-term on and off girlfriend, revealed that she was pregnant, and that she wanted to keep the baby. She wanted to get clean for the baby, and so did Donnie. He'd swore years before that he'd never abandon his children, he'd never subject them to his bullshit the same way his mother had. Donnie, wanting nothing more than to cultivate a warm, safe, family environment for his and Anita's child, got clean.

Now that he's in his early thirties, he knows that he doesn't need to have the conventional nuclear family to be happy. A happy family home doesn't look the same for everyone, and despite the fact that he's always stressing over being as good a dad to Emma as possible, he knows this. Family is whoever you feel safe with, family is whoever helps when you're at your worst, family isn't just blood. Donnie took a long time coming to this conclusion, and he still struggles with undoing the mess his mother made of his brain, but he's there. And he doesn't intend on backing away from it anytime soon.

For some quick-fire headcanons about Donnie's family members and his relationships with those family members, look no further!

𝑅𝐸: 𝑀𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑆𝐴 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Willa Fitzgerald & Mary Mcdonnell. )

Melissa Rose was the youngest of five daughters. Her father detested the fact that his wife would only ever give him daughters when what he really wanted was sons. This made him angry, abusive, unfaithful, and a drunkard. Her father, Adam, was a Baptist pastor. His sermons were the very definition of 'Brimstone and Hellfire.' He was a stern but charming man, with an agreeable face and the picture-perfect family. He was all about image, and this attitude would stick with Melissa all her life.

She actually wanted to run away from Texas her whole life, she had dreams of becoming a Hollywood star. She was always told that she was pretty enough to be in the movies.

Melissa married Colton Watts on a total whim, their romance was an intense whirlwind of emotions and intimacy. She'd never been treated so kindly by a man before Colton came along. He promised her the world. And then he went to war.

When Colton returned home, he was a totally different man. He was emptier than she remembered him, and she was resentful. He would have weeks, even months, of being the happy-go-lucky sweetheart she'd married. Then he'd retreat into himself and would prefer to speak to the horses he cared for than he would to her.

Eleven years of unsteady marriage later, Brody Watts was born. The euphoria of being a new parent didn't last long, Colton would soon retreat back into the stables. The same would happen ten years later when Donovan was born.

After Colton's death, and after Brody ran away from his mother's venomous tongue, Melissa was left alone to raise her youngest son. She never called him Donnie, she would only ever call him Donovan.

Donnie, as a toddler, would actually prefer the company of his mother. He enjoyed being bounced on her hip while she went about the household chores. He enjoyed listening to her read. He found his father to be something of a ghost. However, he did run and hide under Brody's bed whenever she'd get into one of her bad moods. She was vicious, a caged animal unleashed on her family.

When Colton died, Donnie was seven. And Melissa fell hard into heavy drinking. Her fuse grew shorter, and even the smallest of mistakes made by Donnie would set her off. If he cried? She'd shout. If he spilt or dropped something? She'd shout. Without even realising it, Melissa had become her father.

Donnie grew older, more vocal, and pushed back against Melissa's temper. He was rewarded with violence, with unwarranted sermons. She would punish him by making him copy entire verses from the Bible by hand. She would take scissors to his hair whenever he refused to go and get it cut. Donnie's defensive, and often explosive temper, was born here. As was his desire to solve everything with his fists.

Melissa didn't hide what she thought of her son from him. She thought he was gay, and would tell him so. She would often fling slurs at him. She thought he was a sinful child, a demon given to her as punishment for running away from her family with his father. She would tell him this too.

She would also blame him routinely for his father's death. Something that Donnie still hasn't been able to shake.

Donnie was sent to a "summer camp" that the local church ran by his mother to "fix" his behaviour. The children would learn to camp, would learn to work, and would learn to be "more Christian" in their attitudes. It was essentially a behaviour retreat for delinquent kids. It was here that one of the pastors would assault Donnie.

The second he returned home, Donnie bypassed telling his mother anything and took himself straight to the local sheriff's station. He told them everything about the pastor, and about his mother. The sheriff was an old army friend of Colton's and had suspected that something was amiss for years. He was the one who saw to it that the social services took Donnie away from Melissa.

Donnie hasn't seen his mother since, and he hasn't heard from her since his eighteenth birthday. He doesn't even know if she's still alive or not, he hasn't thought to check. He's glad to have cut her out of his life, even if there has always been a longing in him to try and get through to her. Sometimes he misses her reading to him as a child, sometimes he misses her embrace. Sometimes he just wants his mom.

He only ever refers to her as 'mother' or 'Melissa.' Only in really vulnerable moments does he ever slip up and call her 'mom.'

A lot of Donnie's self-loathing stems from the way his mother treated him. A lot of Donnie's internal homophobia stems from his mother. A lot of Donnie's issues with his own masculinity stem from his mother. All of his issues with religion and the idea of a benevolent god stem from his mother's attitudes and the fact that she sent him away to that "summer camp." He's slowly coming to terms with this and feels so much resentment towards her for it that whenever she's mentioned he tends to get stiff and oddly quiet. It takes him a long time to learn to talk about her without feeling angry, and he does so for Emma's sake.

Donnie looks most like his mother, with her soft features, curly hair, and pretty green eyes. It's why he'd always take great offence to anybody ever calling him a girl when he was a teenager.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝑂𝐿𝑇𝑂𝑁 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Robert Redford. )

Colton was the middle child out of three. His older brother, Tristan, died in France, and his youngest brother, Michael, moved to Europe in the summer of forty-seven. His parents owned Dogwood Ranch, as many Watts had before them. It was the ancestral home of the Watts family.

He was raised Catholic, as many are in Longing.

He moved to Texas with his older brother to pursue a Rodeo career. Colton was a promising young Bronc rider and adored working with horses more than anything else. He also enjoyed playing guitar and singing. Music was always going to be a huge part of Donnie's life.

It was there he met Melissa Rose, who looked as though she'd just wandered off of a movie set. Colton was smitten with her, and she was smitten with him. They were young and reckless and felt invincible, and Colton wanted to give Melissa the world. They were married within six months, and, with Tristain's help, living on a plot of land in Copeville within the year.

Then he enlisted and went to war. Colton took his guitar with him to France and would sing for his fellow soldiers whenever he was able. He kept them entertained and happy despite the horrors they saw. He burned his candle at both ends and returned with bullet holes in his guitar, and holes in his heart.

He tried to fight the numbness with all his might. He tried to be present for his sons, but he'd often find himself feeling the chill of The Bulge even in the height of a Texan summer and would slip into his own mind for hours at a time.

To cope, Colton hid himself away in the shed or the stables, fearing what he might do if he was around his family for any longer than a few hours at a time. He could not trust his own body or mind.

As a result, his sons often saw him as a stranger. He tried to make up for it by teaching them guitar chords, showing them how to handle horses, or singing with them. He felt especially close to Donnie, who seemed to take better to his musical inclinations than Brody did. Brody seemed more interested in horses.

Donnie recalls several key moments with his father. Being taught to play the guitar, how to handle a gun, how to ride, how to be a Bronc rider, and being taken to Dallas when his father was due to meet with old war buddies.

Whenever talking about his father, Donnie often calls him his 'old man.' He seems to talk about him with far more respect than he ever does with his mother, despite feeling like he hardly knew him. Donnie also feels an affinity with his father now that he's an adult, especially since he's been through trauma and had to deal with the aftermath.

Donnie still owns his father's guitar, it's easily his most prized possession. He owned a silver signet ring with a cursive 'W' on it that his dad took with him to France and gave to Donnie for good luck. The ring had been in the Watts family for as long as anybody can remember. Donnie gives it to James Gallowes for good luck and as a symbol of his love for him.

In terms of appearance, Donnie takes after Colton's physical build. Looking at photographs of the two of them where their faces aren't visible, you could be forgiven for thinking it's the same person. Donnie also has his father's toothy smile and, according to Brody, Donnie's voice is freakishly similar to their dad's.

Donnie used to resent the fact that Colton put a bullet in his own mouth. It sent Brody away because it made Melissa worse.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Charlie Hunnam. )

Brody is ten years older than Donnie. Has their mother's softer face shape like Donnie does, but the rest of his face is all Colton. Right down to the scruffy blond beard and pin-straight hair. Brody's whole demeanour is gruff, but kind. He's quick to smile and far more optimistic than his younger brother.

When they were kids, Brody would jokingly refer to Donnie as Yosemite Sam from Looney Tunes whenever Donnie lost his temper. It's why Donnie has a Yosemite Sam tattoo on his arm.

Brody always stepped in and took Donnie away from their mother whenever her temper would flare, and would play with him or read to him to keep him occupied. Sometimes he'd take Donnie up to the stables to look after the horses with him. In that way, Brody was more a parent to Donnie than their actual parents were.

At first, Donnie was confused when Brody took off after Colton's death. Then his mother got worse, and then he got angry at him for abandoning him with their mother. He was so angry that a month into being put into Brody and Cassidy's care, the two had a fight that almost came to blows. It didn't, because Brody outright refused to hurt Donnie anymore than he'd already been hurt. This made Donnie break down and cry. Brody held him and the two spoke about things more calmly.

This blowout didn't diffuse Donnie's resentment entirely, but it helped Donnie understand his brother's reasons for leaving.

The ten-year gap between the two meant that talking as brothers was often difficult for them. But Brody always did his best to be patient with Donnie, to be careful around his trauma and what might set him off. He would also cut through Donnie's moping and ensure that he wasn't self-sabotaging.

Brody also gives full embarrassing dad energy whenever Donnie's got friends over. He endearingly refers to Donnie, Lee and James as 'The Three Stooges.' James would also often find himself staying over at Dogwood Ranch after Donnie discovers that his uncle is mistreating him. Brody allows it because he really wants to encourage Donnie to be more emotionally vulnerable and have more friends.

Donnie and Brody love each other fiercely and will jump to one another's defence without question, even if they find it hard to have deep discussions without the help of a few beers.

Donnie hates disappointing Brody (and by extension, Cassidy), and so doesn't reach out to him for help when he should. He often needs pushing into contacting Brody by his bandmates whenever something's going wrong or he's struggling with Emma on his own.

Donnie's object permeance (yay ADHD!) extends to people. This means, that if things aren't in his immediate everyday life, he tends to neglect them. This makes him terrible at calling Brody and keeping in touch, thankfully, both Brody and Cassidy understand this and will often check in with him of their own volition.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝐴𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Freema Agyeman. )

Cassidy Jonas met Brody Watts and immediately fell in love. They bonded over a love of horses, rock music, and spicy food. They just clicked. Their friendship turned into love and ended with them married at the age of twenty-one. It was the most natural thing in the world.

Cassidy Watts was pregnant with twins when Donnie Watts crossed the threshold of Dogwood for the first time. He reminded her of her grandmother's three-legged cat, Nelson, who used to swipe at newcomers whenever they entered whichever room he happened to be sleeping in. He was jittery and jumped at every little noise. It broke her heart to learn what had happened to him, it made her angry too. Brody had to talk her out of driving to Copeville and giving Melissa Watts a piece of her mind. She couldn't conceive of ever hurting her children.

At first, Cassidy attempted to approach Donnie with kid gloves. That seemed to send him further into his shell. What seemed to appeal to him was being spoken to like an adult. A person in his own right. So she did. Because of the honesty between them, Donnie and Cassidy grew close.

Donnie had the messiest, most unhealthy head of curls when he came to Longing, and not a few months later, Cassidy had them styled and healthier than ever. Being a black woman with tight, coiled hair, she was perfectly qualified to help Donnie treat his curls properly. It was a long, careful routine that Donnie keeps to even now in his early thirties.

After the twins were born, Donnie took to being an uncle like a duck to water. He helped Cassidy with feeding them whenever Brody was out working, and would often keep them entertained when he wasn't out causing mischief with his new friends.

When Donnie's fifteen, Cassidy started to attend classes in hopes of becoming a Doctor or a Nurse, as she'd always dreamed of becoming one as a child.

If asked, Donnie would name Cassidy as the woman who raised him. She was the one who helped him out of panic attacks and soothed him whenever he couldn't sleep, she was the one who talked to him about his romantic feelings for James, she was the one who encouraged him to follow his heart after he graduated. She was also the person who put him in his place whenever he was letting his anger get the better of him.

Donnie almost exclusively calls Cassidy 'Cass', and it's always with the utmost affection. He adores her with his entire being.

Cassidy is also the first person Donnie comes out to, officially. She's the person he turns to whenever he finds himself stuck. He knows she won't judge him or think less of him for messing up. Neither would Brody, but Donnie isn't so confident with that knowledge. He's getting there.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐴 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐽𝑂𝑁𝐴𝐻 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fcs : undecided. )

Georgina and Jonah Watts are fraternal twins and are the only two children of Brody and Cassidy Watts. Donnie views the pair of them as his younger siblings.

The twins refer to Donnie as 'Don' or 'Uncle D' pretty much exclusively.

Gina falls in love with rock music because of her parents and falls deeper in love with metal and alternative music because of Donnie. Donnie often catches her rifling through his tapes when he's not keeping an eye on her. When he leaves Longing, he actually leaves the vast majority of his tapes and vinyl at Dogwood, so that Gina can listen to them. Gina also gifts Donnie with an Iron Maiden poster on his fourteenth birthday, Cassidy informs him that she wanted to give her uncle a present that meant a lot to him. He still has the poster now, it's in a frame on the wall of his office.

Jonah and Donnie bond over horses. Brody held no interest in actually participating in any kind of Rodeo events, and neither did Donnie, but Donnie knew a couple of tricks to help Jonah get started. He showed him how to ride and how to tend to the horses alongside Brody. Jonah also shares Donnie's love of Star Wars and sci-fi. He even starts to copy Donnie when Donnie starts keeping journals and writing things like song lyrics down. Jonah's got a big imagination and an even bigger heart. Donnie encourages him to feel things unapologetically and to talk to his parents when things are bothering him. When he leaves Dogwood, Donnie leaves a good chunk of his books with Jonah, knowing he'll take care of them.

Donnie misses a good chunk of the twins' milestones while he's touring with Rancid Creature, but that doesn't stop them from sending him letters and getting excited whenever he calls. He feels guilty for not being there more for them during this time, and he's always trying to make up for it, even though they hold no hard feelings over it.

Donnie also misses these milestones because he's too high, which he feels deeply ashamed of, despite the understanding he gets from Brody, Cass and the twins.

He might be terrible at calling, but Donnie has an uncanny ability to remember dates, even when he's deep in the throes of addiction and depression. He always sends thoughtful gifts and birthday cards/letters to his niece and nephew. He dedicates more than a couple of songs and awards for his music to them and their parents.

He's their favourite uncle, despite being their only uncle. And they will die defending him. They even show up to one of Rancid Creature's shows in Santa Fe to surprise him one year, and Donnie almost cries with happiness at seeing them. That's his little sister and his little brother! And he will die for them!

[angelcumgirlofficial]

update 2

ayyy i jus tripped on shrooms the other night it was dope first time getting actual good visuals then i knocked out not long after. still usin fetty. got sum cold shots for tn im broke af now im going to see jazmin bean in montreal at the end of september and im gonna meet her im so excited lol love u guys i missed tumblr sm <3

[thethingything]

I just realised that since my fursona is an insect and those have to be filtered on Art Fight, I can't actually put him on our team card if I want to then put the card on our profile which like, I get it, but it is kinda frustrating.

it's also frustrating that for the set of phobias that need to be filtered, you can't specify which one you're filtering for and it all just gets put under "sensitive content" which isn't really helpful because like, there is stuff in that category that I want a warning for (like needles) but also stuff in that category that I'm totally fine with (like insects) and there's no way to tell which one it'll actually be without just clicking the image. it's not super helpful as an actual warning because I have no idea what it's warning for

[grungekitty-77]

I just found out getting drunk can short circuit the eating disorder and I'm having my first real not choked down meal in two weeks! :D

[athenacarrigan]

ATHENA CARRIGAN ; 33 ; THERAPIST.

[cis-female and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ATHENA CARRIGAN]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [LILY COLLINS FC]. You must be the [THIRTY-THREE] year old [THERAPIST]. Word is you’re [KIND] but can also be a bit [CHALLENGING] and your favorite song is [WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME? BY TAYLOR SWIFT]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it! [erin, 28, pst, she/her]

ATHENA’S BACKSTORY;

Trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol & narcotics.

Athena Carrigan, a born and bred Aurora Bay native, grew up an orphan to two unknown adults and began her life in the foster system. None of this wasn’t on her bingo card, but, she somehow knew she had a wild life ahead of her. Long before she knew it, she was adopted by the Carrigan family and realized she was a part of a picture-perfect family. The love was felt all over the house, her famous parents cared deeply for all of the children, and her siblings were her best friends.

During her childhood, Athena followed in her mother’s footsteps. As her other siblings found their mentors, she was a momma’s girl wholeheartedly. Her mom quickly taught her the ways of becoming a lady and the young girl took everything in. She was polite, kind, generous, and respectful to others, but the quality that was lacking was self-confidence. Unlike her siblings, she was overweight, covered in acne, and truly insecure. Of course, she knew others were dealing with the same situation as her, but she felt alone, especially at school. At the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, she was bullied. She was fat-shamed, called ugly more than once every day, and picked on. Hatred toward their mean souls grew within, but most of all, envy was the one to beat. It was time to make a big change.

During her high school years, Athena was a completely different girl. The harsh insults of chunky and ugly had turned into attractive and downright speechless. The endless amounts of working out, eating healthy, and taking a lot better care of herself paid off. As nobody is perfect, a flaw that follows her around is insecurity. Trying her best to be as confident as she could, she decided to join the party-goers while staying strict with her studies. On the weekdays, she was seen studying and on the weekends, she was seen partying like crazy. Quickly becoming one of the top partiers at her school, she did her best to remain the lady she was. Alcohol was helping build her confidence, make new friends, and dance like no one was watching. Getting home safely, she would crash happily in bed and already think about the next time she could party once again.

After graduating high school, Athena was quickly accepted to Aurora Bay College. Sure, she had other offers from out of town and even out of the state, but this beautiful town had a strong hold on her heart. The Carrigan girl’s college years flew by; she joined a sorority, became a psychology major, joined different clubs, and partied like no other. Moving up the ranks with partying, her open-mindedness, and careless self started to participate in using illicit narcotics. Mixing the two toxins made her more wild than ever, but she stayed true to herself and didn’t have sex with anyone. She always wanted her first time with someone to be special, so she was determined to stay sober for the intimate act. Due to being the nerd she is, she ended up completing her bachelor's a year early and got a head start with her master's in counseling.

More time flew by and Athena finished her schooling and was officially a certified and licensed therapist. In her mid-twenties, she felt accomplished and was ready to live somewhere new. Leaving her family was hard, but it was for the best and San Francisco was calling her name. Once she was quickly settled into the new city, the therapist bought an apartment and started to pave the way to owning a private practice. Walking the streets of San Fran, she was approached by someone and was offered a business card. Looking over the piece of paper, she felt her life change before her eyes. Entering the world of modeling, she was an amateur, but as years went by, she became more famous day by day. Seen in famous magazines for fashion and fitness, ads for huge clothing companies, and commercials for athletic equipment, she was living the dream. When she wasn’t working, she was seen partying at clubs, journaling her feelings, and visiting the family during every holiday that they celebrated. She always had time to see her family and take care of them when needed. He loved the life she lived, but one thing that was missing from it was her family. She’d see them often, but she wanted to see them every day since they were her best friends. Missing them too much, she packed up her things, waved goodbye to the big city, and moved back home to Aurora Bay. Her adventurous self was ready for another fresh start, so within no time, she opened her private practice and was ready to make this town hers again.

CHARACTER TRAITS;

( + ) Kind, open-minded, respectful. ( - ) Challenging, insecure, wild.

[feralkumiho]

@xunderyourspellx asked: the minute he steps out of that car, i’m gonna slap him in the face! ( hana @ layla. )

"What did Minho do this time? He didn't hit on you when he was drunk again, did he?" Layla inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry about him. My older brother can be a pain in the ass, but he's still a decent person-- when he's sober."

[krikeymate]

Prompt: Tara notices scars on Sam’s arms from past track marks

Check out @dreamersbcll incredible take on this prompt, here!

➖

Tara sighs contentedly into her sister's neck, fingers tracing patterns against Sam's bare arm as they cuddle on the couch.

Bare.

That's new.

Ever since Sam had come back into her life, she can count on one hand the number of times her sister had allowed herself to be uncovered, skin exposed to the world. Tara had never really thought about it, never questioned it. After all, who was she to call it out, hiding away just the same.

Tara knows the reasons why she hides. As her thumb slides down a prominent vein, lightly discoloured scars slipping from view, she wonders if Sam's are the same.

Shame.

She chews her lip, desperate to ask but unable to find the words.

They haven't talked about... before. Not really, not in any depth. Half their life, shadowed and locked away, acknowledged only in glimpses through a keyhole, in the blood that spills out through the crack of the door sometimes.

Tara wonders if it's better to know, or if it will only hurt them, hurt Sam.

She doesn't want Sam to hurt anymore. She doesn't want her to feel the need to hide.

She doesn't want her to think she's alone. Not again. Never again.

But Tara's never been good at saying the right thing. She's too reactive, too impulsive. Words have a tendency to slip out before she can even think.

She's a lot like their mother that way.

She hates knowing that, hates that it's not the only thing she's inherited from that shade of a human being.

With memories of one-sided arguments and looks of exhausted acceptance, of a dark-haired woman collapsed on a bathroom floor with a bottle in hand - her mother, Sam, Tara, memories converging into one - Tara wraps her fingers around Sam's wrist and draws it close.

She presses her lips against the skin, the way Sam used to do with her, all those years ago. I'm here, the touch would say, I've got you.

I love you.

It never made the pain go away, but it always reminded Tara that Sam was there, that she could wrap herself in her arms and hold her tight until it had passed, that she had a shoulder to cry into when the world got too much.

She always knew she could handle anything with those silent promises tattooed into her skin.

The act makes Sam tense for a flash, pulse noticeably jumping. Her sister never had the security that Tara had, the support of someone who loves her, of misplaced pity and leniency from those around them. Sam was burdened with only expectations and scorn, a legacy she never asked for, a life sentence she should never have had to carry... Tara hopes that - if even just for a moment - she can help shoulder the burden instead of being one.

She shifts to look up, a sudden urge to see Sam overwhelming her. No uncertainties have ever survived her sister’s gaze, and sure enough, dark questioning eyes peering down at her settle the writhing in her stomach.

Tara finds herself lost for a point, enamoured with the way the light of the television – forgotten and drowned out, virtually silent against the hum of her thoughts – dances against Sam’s eyes.

They always have so much to say. Tara wishes she could speak the language, to respond in kind.

She settles for kissing Sam’s scars, hoping her love will seep into the parts of her sister that she cannot stand to love herself.

There’s no part of Sam that isn’t beautiful, she should tell her that sometime.

But not tonight, she thinks, as Sam pulls her ever closer and she settles her head back down against her shoulder.

They don’t need words tonight, she knows, as her sister presses lips against her head.

They just need each other.

[medusas-daughter]

When I was depressed, anorexic, wasn't ingesting anything besides coffee cigarettes and alcohol, and actively considering (and attempting) suicide, people were complimenting me about how "hot" I looked, asking me for weight loss tips, and telling me "to keep doing what I'm doing cause clearly i'm doing great".

When I finally quit smoking, reduced my drinking to almost none, started taking care of my body and mental health, and eating three varied meals a day, I naturally put on weight. And my natural weight, on three meals a day, is overweight by society's standards. People started berating me for letting myself go, sending me weight loss tips and diets, and asking me "what went wrong?"

This entire cycle happened twice in two years. The first time I tried getting healthier I put on weight received all those triggering comments started hating myself again and went right back to my anorexic self. Two years later I promised myself that no matter what anyone said or commented about me, I would put me first. I promised myself I would stop making society's standards a priority and start focusing on feeling healthy. I'm now 1 year smoke free, I'm eating when I'm hungry, I can actually move my body and exercice without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. It's still hard finding clothes that fit, I had to get used to that again. But my body and my mental health are more important than clothes so I made my peace with that. I am okay. I am healthy. I feel healthy. I have enough energy to take care of myself. I am okay and fat and extremely grateful.

My point is, don't comment on people's bodies. You might be complimenting an eating disorder, you might be complimenting a depressive episode, you might be hurting someone. Also, it's none of your fucking business.

Stop commenting on people's bodies.

[buckmepapi]

Not me learning yesterday that one of my favourite uncles is now a horrible alcoholic

Apparently it is very bad, I’m not going to go into details bc that’s family stuff and personal but it explains why his Facebook posts are so batshit. Everything he shares is like it’s come from a man with no coherent thoughts.

A few days ago he posted some unfunny boomer-esque transphobic meme and I felt so disappointed

What a fucking joke