#tried out some more horror but def did not go as well as I’d liked it to

[dmwrites]

“The thing is, like, really, Ren has no real power. His knights are people like Cub and Cleo, like, they’ll turn on him in an instant.” Impulse said. The soup group was sat around their meeting table, discussing the next moves the revolution should take.

“Yeah, he’s all bark and no bite.” Pearl added, smirking. “He’s a tiny little doggie with a tiny little doggie crown!”

“I think we need another prank to really annoy him. Ohh, what if we painted the crastle pink or something?” Gem jumped up and down in her seat.

They all laughed at the idea, and eagerly began to plan their next prank on the crown. Resistance life was fun, with adventure and mischief abundant.

——

The one-on-one meetings with the king had increased from around once a week to every day. The knights of the square table gathered every day in the hallway, grumbling to each other about this inconvenience, while Ren’s dramatic tones could be heard from behind the door.

“Why on earth are we still agreeing to this?” Cleo whispered not too quietly to the others one afternoon, as Cub was walked in by Bdubs. “This is ridiculous. Once a day? He’s gone mad.”

Joe gave her a twisted grimace. “I mean, someone’s gotta do it, I guess.”

“It’s like reality tv for me.” Iskall said.

Scar just kinda shrugged.

“I mean, this imaginary power has already gotten to his head. You all have got to be seeing what I am.” Cleo looked around at them all.

“You know, you’re sounding an awful lot like those soup group people.” Scar mused, plucking at the string of his bow.

“Oh, come on now, Scar.” Cleo rolled her eyes.

“Cleo! You’re up next!” Bdubs threw open the doors, letting Cub slide past with that dragon head of his, which hit every person as he passed. Cleo stepped forward, still thinking about what she’d said.

“Lady Cleo!” Ren sat at the table, leaning back in his chair with the diamonds in his cloak glittering in the light from the sun.

“Ren.” Cleo sat down rather ungracefully, as her leg was hurting a bit, and arranged her gown around her.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Cleo snorted. “If you’re talking about those damn blue glasses, yes, that was an intentional choice. They don’t go with my outfit.”

“That wasn’t what I was referring to, Lady Cleo, although your failure to adhere to the dress code will be noted.” Ren said, waving to Bdubs, who wrote something down on his laptop. He looked at Cleo again. “I was referring my name.” Cleo said nothing. “You seem to be in an awfully sour mood, more then usual, might I add.” Ren continued.

“I’m always like this, it’s part of my charm.” Cleo deadpanned back. She thought of all the things she could be doing, and sighed. “But daily meetings are an absolute waste of time, you mad dog king.”

“How dare you insult me!” Ren stood up, dramatically pointing a finger at her. “You are a traitor to the crown, you are! I should have your knighthood seized from you!”

“How would we even do that?” Bdubs piped up from his corner, but no one paid him mind.

Cleo chuckled, a low and deeply intimidating laugh that she saved for moments like these, relished a bit, honestly. “Let’s be honest, Ren. You need me. You need all of us, sure, but you’re afraid of me, and you need me.” She stood up, almost stalking Ren across the floor, one leg still a little stiff. “You mad little dog. You do realize you hold no power here, don’t you?

“I hold all the power. You just don’t know it.” Ren hissed back, although he’d let himself be pushed back into a wall, looking about as pathetic as a man could.

“No you don’t. You’re a puppet, and you are nothing without your strings.” She gestured to herself. She was standing inches away from him, and maintaining eye contact, staring down the king.

“Perhaps you’re right, Lady Cleo.” Ren said softly. He glanced back at her, then kind of off to the side.

“Look at me, Ren.”

“Okay.”

And as he said that, he moved forward, a wild grin on his face, and Cleo felt something go straight through her. She took a step back and looked down. There was a sword handle buried in her stomach.

“Ren. You do know I can’t feel pain, right?”

“Oh, I know.”

“Then why did you ruin my dress, you moronic-”

Ren grabbed the handle of the blade, pulled it out, and sliced Cleo’s head clean off her neck.

——

“Guys! Holy fucking shit!” Gem crashed right into Pearl, scrambling to her feet. “Guys, there’s something- it’s horrible!” She was shaking like a leaf and pale, tears in her eyes.

It was morning, and the soup group had gathered on the bridge for their morning coffee/tea/energy drink session, a usually relaxing routine to start the day.

“Gem, what’s going on?” Impulse asked in concern, putting a hand on her shoulder. Gem didn’t reply, but pointed up towards her base. Right on top of the hill was some kind of small shape looking down at them. The sun was just rising behind the limp-looking thing, blocking any identifying features besides outline.

“What is that, like a scarecrow or something?” Pearl asked, shading her eyes. Gem took off towards it without a word and Impulse and Pearl, after shrugging at each other, followed her up.

Green, torn fabric was being tugged by the wind. The greyish skin was beading up with morning dew. And there was something written in red, the same shade as her hair.

“TRAITOR”

“Oh my god, it’s a scarecleo.” Pearl whispered.

Death is not uncommon in Hermitcraft. But this was not death- this was a message. It was ZombieCleo, the actual decaying body, not some armor stand magic. She hung from the stake she was tied to, lifeless, like a gruesome doll of some kind. But she looked off, her skin bulging in odd places and sinking in others.

Impulse took a couple of brave steps forward, and reached for the tear in the stomach of Cleo’s dress. “Oh my god. She’s stuffed with hay like an actual scarecrow. I can see it in her exposed ribs.” Impulse leapt back, shaking out his hands as the full impact of his statement hit him.

“Wha- why?” Pearl walked forward, standing right in front of Cleo’s lifeless form, looking up into her face. “Traitor.” Silence swept through the soup group, a clawing chill that had them looking at one another in unease.

“We need Cleo to tell us what happened.” Gem spoke up finally, tears running down her face. “We can’t leave her like this.”

Pearl knelt down to examine the part of the stake in the ground. “There’s a marking here..” Pearl murmured, tracing the small carving with her finger. “An arrow, pointing down.”

“I can dig.” Impulse said hoarsly, pulling out a shovel. “But I can’t- we need to move her. Please.”

Gem and Pearl cut Cleo down, and carried her best they could into Gem’s castle. They placed her on a table, and Gem looked down at Cleo’s face, moving some bits of hair out of the way.

“Why?” She asked Pearl.

“Warning.” Pearl murmured, watching Gem smooth Cleo’s hair away from her chest, where “traitor” was still clear.

“Guys! I found something! It’s- eugh!” Impulse called from outside. Pearl and Gem dashed out, and found Impulse scrambling back on all fours away from a stained bag. “It’s guts!” Impulse choked out.

“Guts?” Pearl asked.

Gem raced to the bag and peered in. “Oh, these must be Cleo’s guts! We can put her back together!”

“Gem, I don’t think that’s how this works.” Impulse said sadly.

“She’s a zombie. She doesn’t use these anyway. I know we can do this! It’s just like a board game or something!” Gem looked back and forth at the two. “Don’t you want to save Cleo? Know what happened? If she is really a traitor, she is one of us now.”

And so, they set to work. They found that someone had made deep incisions in Cleo already, and so taking out the straw was easy, but horrifying. Gem took to the task of placing the organs back in the right spots, reworking the connections to the brain best she could.

And then there was a gasp, and Cleo’s eyes fluttered closed, then open.

“Cleo!” Gem gasped, still holding the string she was going to use for stitching.

“Holy fuck.” Cleo looked down at herself. “That fucker.” She looked around. “Well, hi soup group. Sorry about the horrors. Gem, give me that string- I’d prefer to do my own stitching.”

Gem handed over the string and needle, eyes wide. Impulse stared at her too. Pearl stood in front of her again, needing answers.

“What happened to you?”

“Ren happened to me.” Cleo muttered bitterly. “Provoked him one too many times, I guess, and he snapped. Killed me and had me brought out here as a message to you guys.” She sighed. “Joe was the one who filled me with straw.”

“Joe?” Impulse asked.

“He was forced to, with Ren holding a knife to his throat. Thank god Joe had the sense to come back here and bury my organs so you guys could find them.” Cleo finished up the stitches and cut it with her teeth.

“We’ve got to stop him.” Pearl said. “We’ve got Cleo now too. Now it’s gone too far.”

“What do we do?” Impulse asked.

“Well, I want Joe.” Cleo said. “We get him, we plan a real fucking revolution, and we take the crown off of that king’s head. He’s gone mad with power and greed. Reminds me of another king dog.” She shared a look with Impulse. “We take that crown and we burn the kingdom to the ground. It’s the only way now. The revolution is now.”

[petty-crush]

“The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” (Rewatch)

-I haven’t seen this film in well over a decade; last time I thought it might just be the worst film in existence (I was curious to see if still true)

-I actually really liked the opening; with the spinning trading cards credits over the trash can heading towards earth in space ala Star Wars 77

-it registers more now how this is very much a 50’s juvenile drama, with the kid just being bullied because that’s spine of the story

-actress Marjory Graue is a total babe in this (as Blythe, the leopard print wearing hench woman)

+it totally makes sense they do close ups of her boobs and thighs in her second scene

-there are hearty chuckles in set design details, such as the toxic waste pipes being labeled as “zoo”, “prime time tv”, “horse farms” “CIA” etc

-then the reality of this film sets in; it is exceedingly boring

-that’s really what knocked me out when I saw it first; I was curious to see a gross out gremlins/ghoulies type film and instead this flavorless mush drags on and on and on and on

-I’d like to be kinder to this film but it’s like eating a food that makes me spit it out; my body rejects it

-my initial screening was at home on tape, it took me three separate viewings to finish it

+in the wonderful New Beverley theatre, with comfy AC and the ability to stop it removed, it passed over like a looming (faintly odorous) ghost shop

-when I bought my ticket, I actually got a garbage pail kids trading card (“Well Done Sheldon”)

-I also had to put a stop to a near fist fight over a guy who cut ahead in line (by accident) of a family of three

-maybe I should have let it ride, witness the first garbage pail scuffle in many a moon

-anywho

-much has been made of films that are “so bad they are good”

-“garbage pail” is not one of those films

-I actually dislike that phrase and think a better one is “so garish that its inventive moxie has to be applauded”

-“Troll 2” is the film that “garbage” wants to be; a genuinely funny, well shot, complete absurd o tron, with preposterous effects, and an engaging child lead.

+that film kept my eyes glued the entire time; I wanted to know what would happen next

-the real sinker of “Garbage” is the character of Doger; he is firmly in the “boring ass white boy” mode the entire film

-I want to be precise; I don’t hold actor Mackenzie Astin at fault. He tries ; director Amateau cuts legs off in miscasting and in his directing

-the spine of this film is Doger wanting to impress unrepentant human toad Tangerine; she’s into fashion so he makes the garbage kids sew clothes for her fashion show

-structurally, the film never makes me believe or understand why Doger likes Tangerine, other than, I infer with great effort, boobs (fair)

-I like films that try different things but nothing about the fashion element(as opposed to a wave of pranks) ever seems more than lukewarm

-allegedly this was going to be a straight up horror film at first but FX maestro/director John Carl Buechler parted ways with the production

-irresponsible speculation; was he bitter and did he sabotage the film with very sub-par FX costumes, this forcing more time on the weak sauce Doger?

-incidentally, the same year as this film, Buchler directed the fantastic, punches way above its weight class, “Cellar Dweller” a lil low budget gem

-am I rocketing away from talking about this film at length because of allergic reaction?

+ I suppose I am

-the idea of the garbage kids interrupting a fashion show, the terrorizing of the beautiful “normies” (as it calls them) would make a great naughty comedy.

-this is not that film. That film would be a fierce roundhouse, this is very mild jab

-director Amateau has a comedy background, yet seems happy to just be working, limping to the finish

-the film def tries to mock the shallow love of beauty in the 80’s; it just never makes it entertaining

-some fucking twisted anarchy, zero respect for story would be lovely

-the plot point of “state home for the ugly” lies there like a dead squirrel

-there was some really good black lemonade soda at the concession stand

-is this really the worst film of all time? Naw

-I was bracing for it to be, but I’m just a different person now,

-as a kid, I wasn’t all that familiar with the monotony of deflated (film) expectations

-now as an adult, I’ve seen more of it, and my reactions can be more coherent

-that’s character development

-so there was a laugh (a desperate need for it) when Doger tells Tangerine “I don’t find you pretty anymore”...but doesn’t that undercut the film poking fun at shallowness?

-I get that the implied cruelty of the 3 stooges possibly turning a dog into a hot dog (the garbage kids go to a movie theatre) ties in with (the idea of) what the film wants to be

+ but it also really underlines the (mis)decisions this film made when it used a short with Shemp, not Curly

-I came not to bury this film, but quickly chuck dirt its way. I’ll gladly forget it within a week, and never more again

[mavzoon]

Yandere Bruno x fem/reader smut

So. I didn’t know exactly how to write Bruno’s stand from the perspective of a non-stand user. So. Let’s just think that the reader can only feel strength leave the places that are being zipped. (I also re-watched the episode where Bruno uses his stand on Giorno and he says something along the lines of “does it feel as if your head is about to fall off?” and so I kinda based the readers reaction to his stand after that.

Trigger warnings: Dubcon (def more noncon headed), yandere stuff, a lot of dirty talk (though its rly soft bc Bruno), mild body horror I guess?? Bc Bruno uses his stand on the reader. Just a lot of Bruno being a ‘sweet’ yandere for the reader.

Word count: 2915

Le sin under the cut

The first thing you felt was a throbbing in your head. You looked around, vision still hazy and found that you were in a lavish bedroom. For a second, you thought that it had to be a dream. Then your head throbbed again, and for the first time, you noticed the fact that another person was holding you. You rolled around to see who it was only to be met with a face that might as well have been a strangers. 

You’d see that man before. Usually, you’d forget the faces of strangers, but there was something about his blue eyes and bob cut that made you remember him. Or maybe it was the politeness he showed you when he bumped into you. You couldn’t remember his name. The only thing you knew for sure was that you had no idea how you ended up there. 

You’d gone drinking last night, and at some point, you must have passed out. You weren’t that surprised by having woken up in a strangers bed after a night of drinking, but the thing that puzzled you was that you didn’t even remember seeing the blue-eyed man in the bar. 

Ever so slowly, you pulled yourself free from his grasp. You were about to stand up and sneak away when a strong pair of hands pulled you back down.

“Hey! I’ve got to go now!” You yelped as the man pulled you back into his arms.

“Oh? And where exactly are you planning to go, love?” Though his voice was soft and sweet, you furrowed your brows at what he had said.

You turned to look at him. “Home. I have work and- Hey!” 

The man pulled you against him, and your face pressed up against his bare chest. 

“Oh, but darling, you are home,” he smiled, his eyes not showing even the slightest hint of malice. 

Without even thinking, you kicked yourself away from him and sprinted at the door. At once, your legs gave away, and you fell on the ground, hitting your head. You tried to stand up, but for some reason, your legs wouldn’t co-operate. You whipped your head back, but seemingly there was nothing wrong with your legs. All of the strength below your thigh had just vanished. You screamed. You kicked about, tried to crawl away and thrashed around like a fish on land. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d calm down. You could hurt yourself!” The man walked over to you.

You tried crawling away, but you were stopped by the wall hitting your back. “Don’t hurt me!” You threw your hands up and whimpered.

The man tilted his head, looking almost confused. “I’d never hurt you!” He smiled and knelt next to you, placing a warm hand on your cheek. “I love you.”

You felt as if your heart had stopped. “I don’t even know you, just… Let me go, please,” you begged as tears began to slip down your cheeks.

“Oh, darling, please don’t cry.” He wiped the tears away, only serving to scare you even more. “My name is Bruno Bucciarati. Though it does hurt a bit that you’ve forgotten my name, I won’t hold it against you. It must’ve been stressful, living in that chaotic world all by yourself. But don’t worry! You’re safe now.” He pulled you into a tight hug. 

This has to be a dream, you thought. Soon you’d wake up and go on with your normal routine. You’d go to that job you don’t care about and spend time with the coworkers who barely knew the real you. You’d-

The stranger, Bruno, placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “You don’t have to worry about anything ever again,” he pulled away and looked at you, eyes full with something close to affection. “I’ll take care of you.”

You tried pushing him away, but he grabbed your hand and smiled. “I understand this all must be so confusing for you.” He smirked as if he’d figured something out. He pulled your hand near his face and kissed your palm so gently it barely felt like a tickle. “I was planning on waiting, but I see now that I must show you just how much I love you,” he whispered as a kissed down your palm to your wrist. 

The implications were not lost on you. “P-please don’t! J-just let me go…”

“Hush, you’ll see soon enough that this is for the best.”

“But-”

He interrupted you with a kiss. You tried yanking yourself away, but he followed, eventually trapping you under him, your back pressed against the floor. You tried pulling away once more, placed a firm hand on your side, keeping you in place. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you love every second of this,” he said as he began trailing kisses down your neck.

You were damn-near trembling with fear. “I- I don’t want to-”

“Yes, you do.” Bruno pulled back and picked you up. You tried wiggling yourself free, but the strength was still gone from your legs, and you felt as if they might fall off any second. As he carried you back to the bed, he trailed a finger over your lips and smiled. “You love me. You just don’t know it yet.”

The utter intensity of his gaze made you feel as if you were burning up. At that moment, you realized that there was no reasoning to be done with the man. He had made up his mind. You wished you could escape, but with the spell he’d put on your legs, you knew you couldn’t do that. All you could do was endure whatever hell he’d put you through. 

And so you closed your eyes and grit your teeth, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing your reactions.  

He laid you down on the bed so carefully it was as if he thought you’d shatter from the smallest bump. You turned your head away, refusing to look at him as he crawled on top of you. Just having him near you made you feel as if you’d suffocate. 

He swiped a stray hair away from your face. “This is one of the things I most love about you. You’re so headstrong and determined.”

He leaned in to kiss you, but you turned your head away, so his lips found your jaw instead. Bruno didn’t show even the slightest hint of disappointment. He kissed down your neck ever so slowly.

“Amore, you may act as indifferent as you want, but I won’t be deterred.” He pushed one hand under your shirt, his fingers barely touching your skin as he pushed your shirt up. “If it were up to me, I’d kiss you for hours.” In a second, your shirt and bra were split open and pulled off. You opened your eyes and looked about, your brows furrowed. They were next to you, unbroken. 

“Are you a demon?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

Bruno chuckled, his warm breath hitting your skin, giving you goosebumps. “No, darling, I’m the love of your life.” 

He dove down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and licking it. You couldn’t help but whimper. You’d dreamt of finding someone who’d take things slow with you and love you. Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine it would happen like this. 

You’d been fine if Bruno had just bent you over and treated you as if you were worthless, so the fact he was treating you as if you were a porcelain doll was unbearable. You half wanted to tell him to hurry up so you could leave, or at least try to. Then again, you didn’t want to make him think you actually wanted any of this. 

Lost in thought, you yelped when Bruno slid one hand under your pants and began to pull them down. He switched to playing with your other nipple. 

The fact that he was treating you better than all the other lovers you’d had in the past made you seethe with disgust. 

“Hurry up! If you’re going to take me against my will, then just fucking do it!” You snapped. 

Bruno pulled back and stared at you, his eyes wide. “I’m not going to hurt you like that. Can’t you see that I love you?” He sounded genuinely upset.

You laughed, “You might think you do, but you really don’t. And I most certainly don’t love you!” 

Bruno looked as if he might cry. “You do love me.” He leaned in and kissed the valley between your breasts, his hair tickling your skin. “And I love you more than anything.” You shivered as his breath hit your stomach as he slid lower. He stopped at the hem of your panties, kissing just above them. 

“You are the most precious thing in the world, amore mio,” Bruno whispered as he pulled down your panties so gently as if they were made of silk. He visibly shivered at the sight of your exposed pussy. “beautiful,” he breathed out with a shaky voice. 

At that point, you weren’t even sure you’d been able to run away even if he hadn’t put a spell on your legs. You wanted to beg him to stop, to let you go. 

Bruno kissed your inner thigh. You tried closing your legs, but he held your thighs open with warm, gentle hands. “I’ve been waiting to taste you for so long, I can hardly wait.”

Without warning, he licked along the entrance of your pussy and moaned. You whimpered, not so much from the feeling but rather from embarrassment.

“You’re exquisite!” Though he had seemed to want to take things slow, he wasted no second before diving down once more, licking your pussy with such dedication it was as if he wanted to worship each tiny part of you. 

At times, he would plunge his tongue into you and swirl it around, making your toes curl. Then he’d suck on your clit, swirling his tongue around it, dam near making you cry with his skilled movements. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he just hadn’t known what to do, but he did, and now you were left struggling to hold back your own moans. 

“It’s okay, you can let go for me, amore,” Bruno whispered, his breath tickling your pussy. “Let me hear that sweet voice of yours.” 

You shook your head. “N-no,” you spat though your toes were curling with the effort of stifling the noises a part of you was so keen to let out.

You felt Bruno smirk. “My, my! You’re so tense, my love! It’s okay, though. I know you must be excited as well.” 

You yelped as he pushed two fingers into your dripping pussy and curled them, stroking your g-spot. “That’s it. Let me hear that beautiful voice of yours,” he whispered, sucking on your clit again, his movements so gentle and sweet you wanted to cry. 

“Look at the way you’re trembling! You can’t wait until I bury my cock into your pretty little pussy, can’t you? Don’t worry, I can’t wait either but...” he pulled back, and you raised your hips without thinking, a part of you wanting his mouth on you again. 

Bruno smiled, your juices glistening on his lips. “I think I’ll make you come first on my mouth and only then, I’ll give you my cock.” 

He added in a third finger and sped up his movements. The feeling of his warm, wet tongue swirling against your sensitive clit was steadily guiding you towards your orgasm. 

“Go on, don’t you want to cum for me?” Bruno hummed. You whimpered and grit your teeth. 

“Y-you can’t make m-me-” you bit your lip, trying not to cry out. 

“Hmm? What was that, my love? Did you want me to stop?” he pulled away.

“No, don’t!” You yelped before you could stop yourself.

Bruno smiled, his expression full of awe and desire. “How could I ever deny such an earnest request from someone as enchanting as you?” 

With a few more practised curls of his fingers and flicks of his tongue, you came, your body trembling as Bruno held you in place, his movements never once stopping or slowing. You whimpered through your gritted teeth. Then he groaned against your pussy, lapping up your juices. You moaned as he licked it all up as if he’d never tasted anything as delicious before.

He pulled back and smothered your face with kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips. 

“Cara,” Bruno whispered in your ear. “You did so well.” 

For a brief second, you thought it might be over, and you weren’t quite sure if you felt disappointed or glad. 

Then you heard the clinking of a belt and tensed up. “Shh, no need to worry, cuore mio, this won’t hurt a bit.”

You didn’t bother protesting when the tip of his hot cock brushed against your entrance, smearing precum over your wet pussy. 

“Hurry up,” you whimpered.

Bruno chuckled. “Darling, we’ve got all the time in the world, but… I’ll indulge you since you’ve been such a good girl.”

He aligned his uncovered cock at the entrance of your pussy and pushed in with one smooth thrust, never once looking away from you. You yelped. The stretch of his cock didn’t even sting because he’d fingered you earlier.

“Fu- amore! You’re so soft and, God, you’re so tight!” Bruno whimpered as he kissed your neck. He pulled back only to thrust into your dripping pussy.

You whined at the soft pace he set, hating how good it felt, hating how you were already giving in and tightening around his hard cock. You tried your best to ignore everything that he was doing, the way his cock was brushing against your g-spot with each thrust and the way his soft, sweet voice sent warm shivers down your spine. 

“T-that’s it,” Bruno panted. He took hold of your hands and pushed them above your head before kissing you as if his life depended on it, his chest brushing against your breasts. 

Everything about this situation was overwhelming, from the heat of Bruno’s cock, the sweet little moans he was letting out each time you took in all of his cock and the way he was looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. You threw back your head and moaned, giving up on what’s right and wrong. What did that matter when this man you barely knew, who claimed to be the love of your life, was making you feel like an angel?

“B-Bruno! Go faster,” you moaned into his ear. You smiled weakly as he gasped.

“Anything, ah, for you, my love,” he whimpered as he grabbed your hip and began thrusting into you at a furious pace. A part of you still wanted to hate him for taking you against your will, but you found that you loved the way he was worshipping you even more. 

“Is- fuck, is that all you can do, signore?” you bit his neck.

Bruno let out a sound somewhere between a yelp and a moan. He looked at you, his eyes clouded with lust. He let go of your wrists, and you pulled him into a kiss, tangling your hand on his soft hair. 

“I love you! I love you so much, fuck,” Bruno wrapped a hand around your throat but didn’t squeeze. He held you so close your noses nearly touched, the heat of his body warming you, surrounding you. It made you feel safe in the worst of ways.

“I love you too,” you whimpered, voice barely audible.

Bruno stopped abruptly and stared at you, his eyes wide. He thrust back in, and you yelped. “Say that again,” he growled. For the briefest of seconds, you remembered that you were in all actuality, incredibly far away from safety.

“I love you, Bruno,” you dug your nails into his back.

He snarled and bit your neck. “Again.”

“I love you so much! I, oh God, I love you more than anything, please! Please just f-fuck me harder!” The way his hard cock was hitting your sweet spot, his soft panting and whimpering above you and the slapping of his balls against your ass was all bringing you so close to cumming you felt as if you might break.

“C-cum for me,” Bruno buried his face on your neck and whimpered. 

You came with a high pitched moan. You gasped as you regained the control over your legs. Without even thinking, you wrapped them around Bruno’s waist and pulled him as close as possible. 

“Cum in me, Bruno,” you moaned before kissing his cheek.

Bruno gasped as he came, his cum warm in your sensitive pussy. He stayed there for a few seconds, panting before pulling you into a heated kiss once more. He nibbled at your bottom lip and pulled away to look at you. “I really do love you.”

You blushed. On some level, you realized it wasn’t right, but you couldn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat at his words.

“You’ll stay here with me, right?” Bruno pushed a stray hair away from your face and stroked your cheek. “I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

At first, you’d have protested, but now it was as if all the fight had been fucked out of you in the sweetest way possible. You smiled. “I’ll stay.”

[chorusnihili]

what is wd gasters past

"A rather broad and invasive question, I'd say, but I suppose I can give you the rundown."

"I was born on the surface while tensions were already high, enough that my parents, assuming that I had them, were gone before I had a chance to remember them. I was mostly raised by a mismatch village of monsters; well-cared for, not the only one that didn't have a specific home."

"I didn't miss living on the surface and never wished to return there, quite frankly. The only thing that made it worth living there is that in my final few years there, I did have something close to an adoptive parent. Who, unfortunately, chose death over leaving their home."

"A lot of monsters like to paint the underground as this hellish, soul-sucking fate worth than death. Personally I never found it that bad. I suppose I never was the type to feel wanderlust or anything of the sort. I was happy merely knowing we were safe and humanity likely had no interest in pursuing us."

"So I dedicated most of my life to making the Underground as good a place as possible. Anything that could make life more bearable. Try to cheer up those affected the worst by the change. During this time, a lot of monsters took up psychology; you can find a lot of studies on stress, despair, and trauma written during this time; techniques for coping and helping loved ones, many of which still hold up to this day."

"Unfortunately given the fact that communication has always been a hassle to me, it ultimately wasn't a field of study that suited me well, although I've been told I'm a good listener."

"So my attention broke from such studies to poking around the world about me. Much of the underground was new and needed to be explored and understood, and, what can I say, I was young and ready to believe that magic could do anything. Except, maybe, restore my eyesight. Heh."

"The migration through the underground was relatively linear. The forests of Home, the snowy landscapes of Snowdin, the rainy marsh of Waterfall, the deep caves of Hotland, and finally, the empty caves of New Home. But New Home was the end. The final stop. Assuming a vaguely dome-shaped barrier forming to the shape of the mountain, we had found it on all sides; the entrance at Home, the exit at New Home, the presumably small entries in Waterfall that human trash falls through, the tunnels in Hotland that the lava flows through. We reached the end; there was nowhere else to go."

"Monsters began to fan out, build permanent civilizations. Asgore and Toriel chose to build their castle and kingdom right on the cusp of the barrier; why, I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps it was meaningful, to them. A sign of having conquered the humans, something to put them at ease. I never asked, it never seemed appropriate."

"Although many monsters seemed disappointed that there was nowhere else to go, I found a sense of satisfaction from it. We had discovered everything; there was nothing else that might creep out from the shadows. We had an understanding of the world we now lived in, a map from top to bottom, left to right. And now, all we had to do was reshape it into the world we wanted it to be."

"Much of my early life was uneventful. I spent a lot of time in theoretical research, interested in the topics of how and why magic worked, but specifically, the interaction of two magical forces. Why some attacks seemed to be so devastating and others seemed to do no damage at all.  A spent a fair amount of years analyzing magic, categorizing it, writing formulae for the so called Stats, for LOVE, EXP, HP, ATK, DEF, INV, et cetera, et cetera.  Frankly, the field is incomplete; close enough for most situations, I think, but not perfect.  I found it wasteful to continue efforts on it.  I believe that the main goal of science is to improve life; if the science cannot be applied to do so, then I do not see the point in continuing it.”

“My studies were broad and varied.  Sometimes I’d dip into the health sciences, sometimes I’d dip into architecture.  I’d do odd favors for people, look into anything that caught my interest, sometimes even take up tasks for the King himself; ones of minor interest that he didn’t want to bother the Royal Scientist with.”

“But, the focal point of my studies always came back to energy.  What could we do with it?  How can we harness it?  All monsters are made up of energy, of magic, it’s inherent to our souls, the way we express ourselves, even our body is made of magic, turns into magical dust due to a complicated chemical reaction when HP is depleted.”

“This, of course, lead to my most famous accomplishment.  The idea of using magic to power things had been around forever, before recorded history.  But there was always a mage or monster involved, directly or indirectly powering the thing in question.  I sought to cut out the intentional casting of a spell to induce power.  After all, this entire Underground was full of ambient magic; from previous spells, simply from Monsters existing; recycled, reused, breathed in and out, baked into food and released again:  Why couldn’t the world itself power things?” 

“It turned out to be more complicated than expected; failure after failure taught me that it simply wasn’t feasible to use magic without a soul casting it.  But, we found another way--and to be fair, it wasn’t exactly an idea so much as exploratory research, but research with very promising results.  Promising enough to earn me another scar on my face, heh.  Had one of the other scientists not pulled me out of the way, I might have been destroyed by the CORE before the CORE was even a thing.”

“Nonetheless I was far from discouraged.  I was actually very ecstatic.  Enough so that Asgore had a very hard time calming me down and getting me to explain what had happened and why I had a new crack down my face.”

“I started work on the CORE immediately.  Sketching out blueprints and gathering people to start building the skeletal structure of the building while I put together the intricacies of the mechanism that would create and convert pure energy that could be harnessed and used for whatever purposes we desired.  It took a very long time, but it’s no doubt one of my greatest creations.  Asgore asked me to take up the position of Royal Scientist not long after.  I accepted, of course, I wouldn’t think of declining, but it was a very strange thing to me.”

“It wasn’t long after that when the human child arrived.  I remember hearing about it, one of the other scientists telling me that Asriel had chosen to keep the child.  Keep the child, I had thought, like a pet, like a person would choose to keep a dog or a cat.  I thought it frankly ridiculous, but having the human child around brought a new era of hope to the kingdom and, I, ... couldn’t resist being pulled along.  I personally thought that the idea of peace between humans and monsters was ridiculous, but it was such a pleasant idea and the people were so happy...”

“Of course, it didn’t last.  In a single night, both the human child and Asriel had passed away.  The duo had broken through the barrier, only to seal their own deaths.  It was a travesty.  A whirlwind of horrors, one after another.  The devastation, the despair--it was unlike anything I had ever experienced, even when humanity had first sealed us underground.  At least then, we had the relief of peace.  Now, we had nothing.”

“The King declared war on humanity.”

“It was a dark time.”

“The peaceful life I had was replaced by one of fear and anxiety.  I knew what humans were capable of.  I lived through it, I wore the mark of their hostility on my skull--and Asgore wanted to willingly throw us back into that over revenge?  We wouldn’t survive.  There was no way we’d survive.  But if there was any chance of giving us any sort of fighting chance, I was going to find it.” 

“My research turned from finding ways to make the underground better to combat.  Once again, energy proved to be my friend.  I revisited old research about LOVE and EXP and ATK and DEF--and wrote up a hypothesis about another state.  ITK.  Intent to Kill.  Unlike LOVE and EXP, which are slowly, solely increasing values, ITK rapidly fluctuates and acts as a modifier on attack.  Even a soul with a LOVE of 1 can do an extreme amount of damage if they, in a particular moment, are filled with the desire to kill the one they are striking.”

“Monsters aren’t made for war.  In general, monsters aren’t made for hurting each other.   It’s one of the many reasons we were slaughtered so mercilessly.  So I created a ... weapon.  That could circumvent that weakness.  The ITK Blasters, as I called them, could take even the smallest ITK and multiply it to do horrific damage.”

“I did other research on the topic as well.  How to convert HP into a temporary boost of ATK.  With these two advancements...even a monster as relatively weak as I am could be incredibly strong.”

“I wanted to perfect the techniques before I tried teaching them to anyone.  But, such things never came to pass.  Asgore lost his will to continue seeking war.  He knew that he had only declared war in a fit of rage and to give his people hope.  So rather than continue killing, he wanted to find a different way to bring everyone hope.  He wanted to find a way to break the barrier without anymore bloodshed.  He asked me to research the human souls.”

“...”

“I wanted no parts of it.  We got into a ... rather nasty fight.  I said a lot of things I regret.  I called him a coward for bending to the will of his people instead of doing what was right.  I told him that any attempt to breach the barrier would result in the complete extinction of our species.  I told him that it was his job as king to protect us, not lead us to our death.”

“I was angry and afraid, and I took it out on the wrong monster.”

“It’s about at this point that you really cannot understand my history without a basic understanding of how time flows.  I’ll spare you the lecture of multiple timelines and parallel realities, but at the very least, you must understand that the flow of time is... well, it is inherently linear, but, consider it like a... I want to say a Turing Machine.  Or perhaps, a VHS Tape.  The same segments can be replayed again and again, can be overwritten, can change from iteration to iteration.”

“So the fact that Asgore died in this timeline...and is still alive in the current timeline...it may at first seem contradictory, but it is not, I assure you.”

“Asgore’s death hit the Underground hard.  Undyne took over as Queen, but the knowledge that the last remaining member of the Royal Family was gone still loomed over everyone’s heads.  Undyne was more determined than Asgore ever was to free the monsters and I felt like there was nothing I could do.”

“So...There was little I did.  I was overwhelmed with grief and hatred.  I kept at the research.  I honed the abilities, again and again and again.  I drove myself to exhaustion, I isolated myself.  I barely slept and ate.  I neglected my duties and while the others understood I was grieving, it eventually got to the point that Queen Undyne delivered the ultimatum that I had to either get my act together or surrender my position as Royal Scientist.  I resigned without any argument.”

“Much of the time is a blur.  Most of my studies and research done with poor practices and hardly documented.  The research that lead to me creating Sans falls into this. I wished to know if...  

“Of course, two monsters can create another soul.  This much is obvious, monsters reproduce on a regular basis, enough that in the modern day, there’s an ongoing population crisis for monsters that need certain environments.  But I wanted to know if ... a monster, could theoretically, singularly donate a portion of their soul and create another living monster out of it.”

“This is probably a piece of research that very much fits the criteria of not stopping to think whether or not I should try to do so.”

“It required extracting part of my soul.  Which, to do so without killing the monster, requires a massive power source...luckily, or unluckily, I had the entire CORE at my disposal.  So I constructed a machine that could, indeed, extract part of my soul.  What resulted was the most painful experience of my life and left me comatose for six months.  It’s also the cause of the circular scars in my palms.”

“I hadn’t intended to extract two pieces of my soul, but, it happened, whether through oversight or simply as a matter of how the procedure was carried out.  I used the smaller piece to create Sans; intending to keep the larger piece for further study.  I destroyed everything used in the experiment afterwards.  I felt it was something that no monster should have the power to do.”

“That’s not to say I regret creating them.  I don’t, and nothing will ever change that opinion, even knowing some of the terrible things they’ve done in other timelines.  But I do regret the methods that lead to their creation.”

“I don’t know why Sans is so weak.  And I resisted the urge to try to figure it out.  There’s a fine line between a healthy interest in your child’s health and treating them as a science experiment, and I ... wanted to stay as far away as possible from that line.  He’s fine the way he is.  He doesn’t need to be fixed.”

“That didn’t stop me from using the second piece of my soul to create Papyrus to look after him, though.  Or teaching him magic to the best of my ability, even teaching him how to use the Gaster Blasters.”

“Having them...helped.  A lot.  I won’t say whether I was very good at it, but I enjoyed being a father very much.  The grief was still heavy, but I was able to start returning to a somewhat normal life, and even start following what was going on in the Underground again.  I learned of Doctor Alphys’s research on the human souls, and though I personally disagreed with it... decided to look into it in Asgore’s honor.”

“My immediate thought was that her ideas about Determination could mesh well with my previous research about soul extraction, albeit with a few modifications--although I had destroyed the equipment I used for the process, I remembered it well enough.  So I got to work on a theoretical DT Extractor; but the further I got with it, the more horrified I became.”

“I simply couldn’t tolerate the idea of it.  Humans or not, already dead or not--the mere idea of extracting the literal lifeforce out of a soul...  No.  It was not a process I would condone.”

“I had just finalized my decision to destroy the blueprints when I fell.”

“It was... a laughably simple mistake, really.  The CORE is designed to rearrange itself to prevent the wear from the heat from causing too much damage in any one area.  The doors pneumatically seal themselves to prevent egress during this time but...  I was simply too distracted by the blueprints and I opened the door, and walked through anyways.”

“There were no further safeguards.  There was nothing I could do to save myself.  It was over before I had a chance.”

“...”

“I don’t regularly talk about my time in the void.  Not because doing so bothers me, but because it’s simply... indescribable.  When I awoke, I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t speak.  There was no me, but my consciousness existed.  I could see and hear thousands of timelines at once, as if I was standing in an arena, with each and every seat filled with a television playing a different movie.  A jumbling mess of information.”

“I have no idea how long I was there for.  It was like learning to exist all over again.  Step by step.  Learning how to move closer to visions of interest.  Learning how to seep into those visions.  Learning how to block out the immense noise.  Learning how to speak without a body.  Learning how to see the void.  Learning how to construct a body out of it.  Learning how to hunt down my timeline.”

“In many ways, it was a rebirth, and with each and every step, I lost more of myself.  I lost myself to the aching hole of my soul being missing.  I lost my conscience, I lost my heart.  I dedicated everything to the endless goal of stitching myself back together again.”

“I learned so much about the reality I live in.  How malleable it and time is.  I evolved into something grotesque, something that shouldn’t be alive.  I gained power that no monster or human should have.  Things, and even souls, could be changed at my whim.  And yet the one thing I truly wanted seemed to be impossible.”

“I did a lot of terrible things while I was stuck like that.  Some were intentional, some less so.  Many were reset thanks to Flowey, others will never be fixed.”

“I have Sans to thank for finally helping me to achieve the goal, even if not fully.  He built a machine that gathered enough of my soul that... I’m able to manifest my original form and can think clearly once again.”

“Even so...  It didn’t change the fact that my soul is still shattered, somehow held together by the tug-of-war between Determination and Void, and that my fall into the Void reset the timeline into a state where I never existed.”

“And that leads us to now.  The Gaster you currently speak to exists in a timeline that has made it to the surface, though I’m not particularly fond of being up there and generally hide in my lab in the CORE.”

“Well, I certainly hope you didn’t expect even a rundown of over a thousand years to be short.”

“...Or, were you posing the question to someone other than myself...?”

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[buckyscockring]

Against Your Better Judgment (Kylo Ren x Reader Smut)

Summary: There’s just something about the Supreme Leader that pulls you, like a thread.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Implied sexual content, angst, Kylo Ren being a fuckboy (because what else is new)

Words: 1467

Author’s note: I haven’t written fan fiction in four whole years — and I wasn’t a big writer then, either — but I got gassed up to do a fan fiction writing challenge! So here’s the result: a cute little slutty, angsty moment.

You didn’t know why you had shown up to Kylo’s quarters that night, or the first one. Well, no, you did. It had started with a glimpse.

You had always noticed the Supreme Leader’s purposeful, tense gait. You had always watched the way his endlessly long, meaty legs stretched before him, and how his even longer cape whooshed behind. And you were so diligent, especially in your position as a ranking First Order officer who reported to General Hux, to keep your ideas about what you wanted the Supreme Leader’s legs to do to you — to bounce you up and down, to rub against your cunt — to yourself. You know, the Force and his ability to hear thoughts, and all of that.

But when you had rounded a few wrong corners and caught Kylo with his mask off that day? The sheer shock tripped you up. You were hopelessly lost en route to a semi-important meeting with a traveling First Order delegation, and couldn’t find the memo on your datapad with the new room number. In a completely foreign wing of the Finalizer, uniform damp with sweat and Hux’s inevitably harsh, shrill voice in your ears, you panicked and decided to duck into a conference room you knew would be unoccupied. No one’s ever in here, right? You thought triumphantly, ghosting your badge over the sensor and letting out a relieved breath as the door slid open. 

You made it about two steps in before you dropped your data pad. You felt your body stiffen at the sight of the Supreme Leader’s massive, sturdy frame, languid against the glass window. “Sometimes, I am,” Kylo Ren said, answering your question out loud. 

As you heard the door slide shut behind you, you raked your eyes up his legs, the quilted slope of his ass, his slightly cinched waist, his broad shoulders — against your better judgment. Again, your eyes flicked up to the waves of raven-colored hair that had replaced the Supreme Leader’s usual menacing mask. He turned quickly and out of pure instinct, you stumbled back a few steps. 

His face was long, olive-colored, and… soft?, you thought in surprise. You watched his eyebrows raise at your observation as you drank him in. He had a graceful, aquiline nose and eyes the color of gasoline. They had a vicious glint to them that said, Give me the torch, I’m hungry for it. 

Your eyes caught on his lips, which were a soft pink, pretty plush, and wholly too inviting for someone who was a cut-throat, decorated warrior; a Supreme Leader; someone who gladly slayed other generals and leaders and federation presidents with their bare hands; someone who had shaped and shattered history with a flick of his wrist. You tried to imagine those lips giving the command to wipe out entire planets.

But all you could think of was, So, that’s the face I’ve been dreaming of sitting on.

You watched in horror as your thoughts ran through Kylo’s mind — and then in horror again as his nostrils flared and his lip twitched wickedly, his tongue darting out to lick it. He took an animalistic step closer to you, and you felt all the blood rush to your ears — and your pussy. “Is that so?” he asked.

⋆⋆⋆

You knew why you went to his quarters that night. You knew why you were in his room now: barefoot, out of uniform, and too fucking comfortable rifling through the shit on his coffee table. First Order uniform catalogues. Napkins with engineering notes on them. Some more scribbled numbers and scrawl. Alien money — Kylo had a thing for foreign coins and bills. And, ah, yes, smutty postcards from other planets. Your head turned at the sound of the bathroom door sliding open and your breath caught against your will. 

Kylo smirked darkly, leaning his sinewy machine of a body up on the door frame. “I know you’ve hated me lately, but I bet this makes you hate me a little less,” he said in that deep, melodic voice of his.

You rolled your eyes and tried not to look at his massive, veiny cock as you strode past him into his bedroom. “Here!” You threw the towel you had grabbed off his dresser at him. “We need to fucking talk, Ren.”

“If you’re not going to call me ‘Kylo,’” he said, pouting as he wrapped it around his waist. “Then that’s ‘Supreme Leader’ to you.” 

You turned and sat on his couch, gesturing to the seat across from you. “Stars,” he said under his breath, plopping down. “You really hate me, huh?”

“No, I’m just fucking tired,” you said, running a hand over your head. “Honestly, I just need answers. Like what are we doing? What the fuck are we doing?”

“Fucking, eating really good food, fucking, stargazing, fucking, occasionally actually sleeping together, and —” Kylo fake-paused, leaning his elbows on his high knees. “And, uh, fucking some more.” Part of you wanted to see if you could make out his dick under his towel from this angle, but your eyes snapped up. A wolfish grin spread across Kylo’s face as he heard your thoughts.

“Stars, yes,” you said, hurriedly. “But you know what I’m asking you. Don’t act like an idiot, Kylo. You’re too smart for these kinds of games.”

He leaned back. “I’m very smart, which is why I play these kinds of games.” He shrugged emphatically, and your eyes couldn’t help but watch every muscle in his arms and chest contract and expand. “It’s just how the game goes.” He looked at you with those dark, lust-blown eyes that always had a hint of something nefarious in them. 

“The game, meaning you…” You gestured around. “Give all your whores boyfriend or girlfriend-type attention, without the ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ title. You keep them on the hook,” you spat, eyes tracing his face. Kylo’s lip quivered slightly. “Just enough, right? Just enough so that they think they have a shot and fall in line.”

He leaned forward, reaching toward you. “You said all my whores. I only play this game with my best ones,” he cooed, voice like velvet as he put his large hand on your knee. You looked down at it with disdain, feeling your pussy throb as you watched him flex his fingers. It took everything in you to open your mouth and say, “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

His eyes flashed mischievously and he raised both his hands in the air. “Okay, love, that’s fair. But wouldn’t you much rather be fucking than fighting?”

You tried to subdue a shiver as you shook your head. “I’d only much rather be fucking if I knew what this was. Like… I hate how I sound right now. Don’t make me say it.”

“Say it,” he commanded, in a voice that sounded a smidge too close to the one he used in bed. “What are we?”

“Vessels of flesh,” he said. “That like to pound into each other.”

“Outside of that?”

He tilted his head, smiling cruelly. “If you have to ask…”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, half out of embarrassment and half out of arousal. “I just wish the lines were fucking clearer!” you ground out. “I don’t want you to spoon me, play with my hair, orand talk about the trips you’re going to take me on, and fucking — I don’t know — look out for me at work? If we’re not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It just — I — It’s not right,” you yelled, exasperated. “You’re giving me false hope. You’re making me want something I can’t have.”

His mouth quirked a bit again. “Let me ask you a little question: Did I ever say that we would be partners? Equals? Did I ever explicitly give you that idea?”

You froze, feeling as small and as insignificant as that first day you caught him without his mask. And then you drew yourself up. “Whatever,” you said, coolly, standing. “I’m not giving you this pussy any longer. We’re done, Ren.” You gestured with your hands, slicing through the air. “It’s over.”

“Okay, love,” he said, leaning back in his chair. You watched water drops slide down his wide chest, swimming down his taut stomach and into his damp towel, where, yes, you could discern the outline of his dick. You pressed your thighs together. “Just… Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m sure,” you said, turning, trying to hold every lewd encounter you two had shared in the past six months firmly down. Because, uh, you weren’t sure, you realized as you slipped on your shoes and strode to the exit. 

“I didn’t think so, either,” you heard Kylo say as the doors slid shut behind you.

⋆⋆⋆

End note: I hope you liked this! Let me know what y’all think. When I read this fic over again, I realized it reminds me of “Heartless” by the Weeknd — which is high-key a Kylo anthem and a song I def included in my Kylo x Reader playlist. I’d love it you checked it out!

[recurring-polynya]

this might be on the heavier side, but I was thinking about a drabble where Renji is consoling Rukia after she’s had a breakdown about feeling like a shitty mother.

Why would you do this to me??? Ugh, I admit I took the cop-out route, and went for “feeling like a shitty mom” rather than “being a shitty mom.” I think Rukia is a great mom, tbh, but we all screw up now and again. I can def see her and Ichika going full-bastard-Kuchiki against each other in Ichika’s teen years, but also, like, this is a drabble. So, uh, here’s a drabble about postpartum depression instead, good memories, good times.

Trigger warnings: Postpartum depression, the absolute horror of having a small infant on a bad day, feeling like a shitty mom.

❄️   ❄️   ❄️

The house was quiet when Renji got home, which had him worried, just a tiny bit. As he was shaking the snow off his hanten before hanging it up, Rukia clattered down into the entryway, her face drawn and wild-eyed, and then he was worried a lot.

“You didn’t need to come home,” she informed him urgently.

“You texted me,” he replied softly.

“I… I’m sorry. I texted you again. Maybe you didn’t get it. I told you to stay at work. Everything’s fine. She finally fell asleep. She’s fine. I’m fine. We’re fine. You can go back.”

“Don’t really want to,” Renji replied, putting a hand on his wife’s back and leading her back into the house. “It’s snowin’ out, getting worse by the minute.” He thought about mentioning that it would be more trouble trying to explain to Byakuya what he was doing back at work, but his gut told him that mentioning Byakuya’s clucking wasn’t gonna make things any better. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Rukia twisted her wedding ring on her finger. “I don’t know. Ichika was so cheerful this morning before you left.”

“She got up pretty early,” Renji reminded Rukia. “And she was up three times in the night?”

“Four,” Rukia admitted. “You slept through one of them.”

Renji frowned. That was unusual. He was usually the lighter sleeper of the two of them.

“I never got back to sleep after time number two,” Rukia replied guiltily, as if reading his mind. “She didn’t want to nap this morning, and every time I tried to feed her, she’d nurse for less than five minutes, but then she’d want to nurse again ten minutes later…”

“Hey, you want me to make you a hot cocoa?” Renji offered.

Rukia checked her watch. “It’s time for me to have my tea, again.”

“The one that’s ‘sposed to help with making milk? You said you didn’t like it. You said it was gross.”

“That doesn’t really matter.”

“It does matter. I’m making cocoa.”

Rukia chewed a hangnail nervously. “Maybe my supply is low. Maybe that’s why she was so cranky. I’m probably not drinking enough water.”

Renji watched her carefully while he dug through saucepans. She chewed on her fingers occasionally when back in Inuzuri, and a lot when they were in school, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her do it. “Maybe she’s growing. Maybe she’s growing a tooth. Maybe she’s a fuckin’ baby. Don’t sweat it.” He made a decision. “Let’s go sit down, I’ll do this in a minute.”

Her shoulders were stiff as he practically steered her over to the couch and maneuvered her into sitting down beside him.

“I yelled at her,” Rukia mumbled, her words barely audible.

“Hmm?” Renji asked, pulling her into his side, and rubbing her arm.

“She had been screaming and screaming and I… I screamed back.” Rukia swallowed. “And I put her down in bed and walked around outside and made myself really cold until I was calm again, and then I came back in, and got her again. She didn’t like it, that I was cold, but it’s all I could do. I could be cold or I could be mad, I don’t have anything in between. That’s when I texted you. Eventually, she cried herself out and fell asleep and I put her back in bed.”

Renji scratched his head. “I mean, it’s not great, but I think you did the best you could.”

“I yelled at my baby, Renji,” Rukia repeated, her voice thick with self-loathing. “I don’t know why I thought I could do this. I’m all ice and sharp edges. I don’t even know what mothers are like but they’re not like me.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what mothers are like, either, who cares?” Renji grunted. “There’s you and there’s me and we love our kid and we’re doing our best. And it sounds to me like you’re the one that isn’t getting what they need.” He thought. “When’s the last time you went out? For a while there, you were takin’ Ichika on little trips out to visit Hanatarou and Kiyone?”

“The weather’s been bad,” Rukia excused. “I dunno. We went over Brother’s last week?”

Renji scowled. “That doesn’t count, there were Aunts there.” The Aunts had spent a great deal of time commenting on how slim Rukia looked and how nice it must be to get one’s body back in shape so easily. There was no one like a Kuchiki Aunt for handing out compliments with razor blades baked inside.

“You should invite someone over,” Renji suggested, but nearly all their friends were at work during the day, he realized as he said it. He could take more time off, but he’d suggested that before and it just made her feel like she couldn’t handle things.

“The house is always a mess,” Rukia replied glumly. This was also true, but it’s not like he himself had ever been put off by gross dishes that piled up when Kira’s brain turned on him.

A tiny cloud gave off a tiny bolt of lightning in Renji’s brain. “Hey, what happened to your old maid, the cute one, with the freckles?”

“Mikan?”

“Yeah, she still work for Byakuya?”

“Mm-hmm, she got promoted. She’s Chiyo’s assistant now, does a lot of the household management and event planning.”

Renji smoothed Rukia’s hair with his fingers. “I know we’ve always turned down Byakuya when he tries to send people over… but what if Mikan came by a few hours a week? She doesn’t even have to do anything, just keep you company and hold the baby for a bit?”

“She would fuss at me and make me take a nap,” Rukia dismissed.

“Would y’take one?” Renji asked hopefully.

Something cracked behind Rukia’s eyes, and Renji pressed a kiss into her hair. “You’re workin’ so hard, babe, and I know you always want to do these things on your own, but there ain’t nothing wrong with having some help to rely on. I’m a career vice-captain. I know these things.”

Rukia was silent for a long time. “Mikan really likes Ichika.”

“I thought she did.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it, okay?”

Renji nodded, and squeezed her. “You are the strongest person I know, and letting someone help you takes more strength than most people wanna admit. I’m gonna make you your hot cocoa now, okay? Unless you’d feel better to have your gross tea? I’ll make it for you if that’s what you really want.”

“I think,” said Rukia, “that I’d rather have the hot cocoa.”

[tiktoks-we-like]

Omg do you have any more ghost stories??

I’ve told all the significant ones that occurred in this house except 1 other (but I felt that it could be brushed off as something else so it's eh), but I can tell some from my childhood home/neighborhood!

Okay so the last story in this home took place few years ago at around 11pm or so me and my parents just finished watching a movie and my parents had gotten up and went into another room. I was just chilling on my phone with the dogs when suddenly I heard this horribly loud sound of metal scratching from outside. It sounded very much like our shed door opening, the doors on the shed opened by rolling them to one side, kinda poor design but like eh n they were all rusted so you had to put some strength into it and it made a lot of noise. I told my parents and like white people in a horror movie we all went outside to see who was getting into the shed, but when we got out there it was empty, no one to be seen, the doors didn't even look like they had been touched. It could've honestly been someone trespassing on our property, but it's still very unusual considering we live ou in the middle of nowhere. 

That shed has always creeped me the fuck out though, I can’t stand in there without feeling like I’m being watched by something. The shed it split into since one half used to be a chicken coop (old owners had chickens) and the side that used to be for the chickens just...feels the worse to me, I can’t stand in there long without feeling very anxious and when I'm on the other side it feels like someone or something is over there watching me. 

Then to my childhood home back in lansing, it wasn’t a very old house just built in the 1900s sometime and was owned by my great-grandma and we moved in after she passed away n I wasn’t born yet. Usually, only little things would happen here like the sound of footsteps down the hall or on the basement steps or the kitchen sink would turn itself on at night. 

My most memorable occurrence was when I woke up late at night(prob around 1-3am area) to the sound of something falling in the basement. At first I brushed it off as my grandmas cat knocking a box over then I heard it again so I got out of bed and went to investigate. I went down to the basement and boxes literally were just..falling randomly around the basement. Theres no way the cat was bouncing across the room within seconds to knock a box over so?? I ran upstairs so dang fast and hid under my sheets.

This one took place a few years before we moved so I was about 11ish, I’m pretty sure I was staying up late on my gameboy or ds when I wasn’t supposed to but when I decided to finally go to sleep and dozed off a bit I suddenly woke up to the feeling of being watched. Up at the top corner of me and my sister's bedroom window there was something like look like a person's head with glowing eyes just...looking into the room at me. I just stared at it until I had to blink and when I did it was gone, I literally didn’t sleep until the sun came up. I don’t know if it was like a hallucination or sleep paralysis but it scared me enough that I started being afraid to sleep at night and would stay up until the sun came up until school started back up and I had no choice but to sleep earlier. 

Most of the super werid paranormal esq stuff didn’t happen in my childhood home, but my best friends home right next door. In his house they just had an empty room, no one used it, literally the only thing inside it was a bed frame sitting on its side and like 2 small storage boxes. Every once and awhile his dog would just stand outside the room and growl and bark then run away nervously, she didn the same thing in other parts of the room like in the living room corner or at the TV well it was off. 

We were super into ghost hunting shows like all thru 7-10ish so one time we decided to have a paranormal investigation in that room where we just sat in there in the dark with his dog and asked the ghost questions. Of course, we got no response but after a few questions, his dog started to get really riled up and upset which started to freak us out so we went to leave, but the door just wouldn’t open. We were banging on that door so hard until it finally decided to open and never went in the room again. Every so often the door would just open itself well we were playing in his room which was the next room over.

His bedroom was kinda equally as unsettling though, we were playing hide and seek with me, him, and my sister. I think I was looking when suddenly I heard yelling from his bedroom. He was hiding in the closet when he felt something grab him and when he tried to leave the closet the door wouldn't open. I opened the door easily from my side which made him think I was holding the door open, but when it happened I was way down the hall in the living room, but he still doesn’t believe me to this day lmao.

One of the days I was sleeping over at his house n we were both home alone since he dad left to the store. When he dad left things started getting really weird, his dog was just freaking out over was seemed like nothing just barking and growling then hiding nervously, then the Tv turned itself on and was just static and we tried everything to get it to stop even tried turning it off, but nothing worked on it. Then that stupid door down the hall opened up all the way, I think at that point we just ran outside and sat on the porch until his dad came home. When his dad got home and we went back in everything was normal, the tv was off and the door was closed.

Lastly, this isn’t really a ghost story, but its still creepy as fuck. When I was 12 the other parents on the street just decided it was okay for me to watch their kids, like they were my friends but uh trusting a 12 yr old to take your kids to the park n the rite aid down the road was a bad decision. Since I was the oldest and in charge me I’d take my friends to the park, but instead of going to the park we started exploring the area further back. This park was actually just the elementary school playground but it had a big field in the bad and at the end of the field there was a fence, behind the fence was a hill n up it was a road, but if you just walked around the fence you’d end up behind the property of the building besides the school which had lovely signs saying “trespassers will be shot on sight” and if you kept walking you’d reach train tracks. So I’d take my friends to the train tracks and we’d walk down them until we reached these old train boxcars that were just sitting abandoned besides the track, this area had tons of small sinkholes so it def wasn’t safe(besides being by active train tracks), but we’d open the trains up and play inside them. On one side of the tracks though there was a forest and a fence around it.

 Me and my friends were gonna make a clubhouse in one of the trains, but one of the final trips we made to the tracks there were people on the other side of the fence in the forest looking at us, they were further back so they weren’t noticeable at first. I don’t know why they were there, how they even got there, or why they were looking at us, but we booked it back to the park when we saw em. After that we only visited a few more times, but we didn’t stay for long because the area just felt unsettling and after seeing those people we were worried we were being watched constantly. 

[nelllraiser]

bela lugosi’s def not dead | nic & nell

LOCATION: the drive-ins. PARTIES: @bountybossier​ and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: stab ? stab!!  TIMING: sometime in March

Nell had been staring for...probably much longer than was socially acceptable, squinting into the darkness towards the truck a few spots over to see if it was, indeed, who she thought it was. She hopped off her motorcycle as the movie continued to play on the drive-in screen, passing annoyingly in front of those that were trying to enjoy the film. As they grumbled about her getting in the way, she could see the vaguely familiar outline, and wasted no time in popping up next to the truck, her eyes barely managing to clear the side of it as her hands gripped the edge, her feet on tiptoe as she said in a horrendous attempt at a whisper, “Sam Hill- is that you?” 

The hunter had to do a double-take when he saw the drive-in theater on one of his nightly drives. Romance wasn’t exactly for Nicodemus and classics were fine, but what really caught his eye was the horror double-feature on Sunday: The Wolf Man and Dracula. What better way to forget about the shit of reality than to immerse himself in what humanity thought was actually going on? One large water bottle and bag of popcorn later, he was posted in the back of his truck and watching the opening credits of Dracula. He snuck a sip of his flask and reclined back against a bag of salt. He hadn’t heard the whisper at first, or maybe his subconscious chose to ignore it. He only looked over when he felt eyes on him. It was her. Nell. To keep from loudly swearing and interrupting, he shoved a fistful of popcorn into his mouth. He squinted and whispered back. “You here for the movie or are you stalkin’ me?”

Perhaps Nell had a similar reason for being here. It was simply amusing to see what twisted tales of the supernatural had managed to leak into humankind, and then see how they thought how it could make a better story if they just entirely messed it all up. Nevertheless, she still enjoyed the movie Practical Magic. Not that this was that film. Dracula was always a good way to unwind as she perhaps laughed a little too loud at the parts that were meant to be...well...scary. But it was ridiculous! Nevertheless, her bottom lip jutted out as he seemingly ignored her. “You didn’t answer my question,” she said stubbornly when he posed his own query. In another moment, she’d clambered over the side of the truck and into its bed, apparently inviting herself. “Can it be both? I choose both. Except you’d have to be cool enough to stalk.” He was definitely cool enough to stalk, she just wouldn’t admit it.

Nicodemus watched in quiet resignation as she clambered over the side of the truck like a child at the play area of a McDonald’s. “Well, fuck I’d hope it’s me,” he muttered in response as he looked between her and the screen. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he shook his head. Honestly, a run-in at the movies was the least troublesome encounter he’d had in the last, what, three days? His sour mood sweetened some, not by a lot, and he tipped his head. “Sure, it can be both.” He paused and squinted at her. What, was he not cool enough to stalk? Why was he even entertaining that thought? Lugosi was supposed to be entertaining him. “Oh, me being not cool is the reason you’re here? Good to know, I’ll remember that.” With a grunt, he jutted the popcorn bag at her and looked away. “...I ain’t gonna eat all of it.”

Nell’s amused grin was already sliding into place at his response, settling into the truck beside him as she folded her knees up near her chin. “That’s for me to know, and you to not find out.” She wasn’t exactly in the business of telling bad-ass bounty hunters her rather...lengthy history of latching onto people she found undoubtedly cool. But she hummed for a moment as he seemed to give in a bit to her tease, and she figured she’d give him a little something. “Alright fine- it’s both, then.” Nell looked down as she said the words, fixating on the popcorn in case his reaction to her admission was negative. Hopefully, her tone might have been joking enough to pass it off as no more than a joke if need be. As the popcorn came her way, she wiggled a bit in her excitement, always quite thrilled to have food at her disposal. “Thanks!” Her exclamation was perhaps a tad too loud, earning a replying ssssh from another drive-in goer a car over. Without hesitation, she stuck her tongue out at them before turning back to Nic. “So you a horror guy?” she asked before taking a healthy handful of buttery goodness and popping it into her mouth.

Instinctively, Nicodemus shoved himself to the other side of the truck like a socially awkward dog at his first day of daycare. He took a long drag of his water bottle as he side-eyed Nell. It was troublesome trying to figure out why she seemed so keen on following him lately. And even more so, trying to figure out why it didn’t piss him off as much as he initially figured it would. He huffed and leaned his head back. “Give it time, kid, I ain’t bad at sussin’ shit out.” A snort followed at quick addition. “Annnd that was quick.” He took a massive handful of the popcorn and held it on his lap. The hunter didn’t mind her outburst, but the car over did and Nico picked his head up to stare at them. The next person that shushed them was getting a knife in their tire. His head tilted at her question before he nodded. “It’s either this or historical romances,” he said, completely deadpan. “There’s no inbetween.” Bela Lugosi stalked across the screen, cape drawn. Nic squinted. For all his night vision was worth, it didn’t help much with a giant screen behind it. It looked like someone was mimicking Lugosi just a few rows ahead. “Was this a costume showin’ or what?”

It was impossible for Nell not to notice Nic’s apparent aversion to where she’d sat in the truck, though she did her best to brush it aside. Maybe he just didn’t like sitting next to people. She tried not to take it personally. Besides, she was too wrapped up in her popcorn eating to take any prolonged notice of anything he was doing, far too pleased to have something to eat in front of her. “You don’t get that one,” she replied stubbornly. “You didn’t ‘sus’ anything. I just decided to tell you so it doesn't count.” She wasn’t sure what to make of his reply about movie preference, but tried her best to tamp down the excitement that came with the thought that they might have something in common. “What like...Gone With the Wind and stuff? The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society?” But she finally looked up from her precious popcorn at his question, joining him in squinting into the night. A light snort dropped from her. “No- it looks like maybe someone’s just really into Lugosi. Their cape isn’t even that good.”

"Nope, I sussed it with keen precision," Nicodemus said, hands slightly splayed at his sides. The slight annoyance in her face was enough to spur him on and he damn near cracked a sly grin, gaze sliding to the corners of his eyes to look at her. He adjusted in his seat, sat pretzel style, and leaned forward with his elbows in his knees. "Yup, secret of mine. 'Spose you earned it, but frankly my dear, I don't give a fuck." Proud of himself for his own spin on a line from a film he finally watched about five years ago, he tipped his head at her. Shattering his senses to make himself useful outside of his grandfather's idea of demon hunting had him constantly on edge, but there was something about the drive-in that particular night that had his teeth tight. "Fuckin' cosplayers." Except, the man ahead looked eerily like Bela Lugosi but stiffer. Like something pretending to be a human-shaped person and he was lurking close to cars, trying to snatch at something. Someone. He sat up and reached into his jacket. "That ain't a cosplayer, Nell."

Nell gave a soft eyeroll, the corners of her mouth upturned as her amusement grew. “Sure you did, old man. Just keep telling yourself that.” But her slight grin turned full force the moment he confirmed their mutual taste in films, along with a laugh that tumbled into the air with his doctored quote. “Okay, but do you watch-” Her excitement  and smile were cut short as she watched the strangeness of the supposed cosplayer unfold, eyes straining to see what was going on with a bit more fervor as she leaned forward. Crawling towards the tail of the truck, she frowned, that strange sense of something being not entirely right crawling up her neck. Shit. Nope. Definitely not a cosplayer. Nell was already making her way out of the truck to go confront the Lugosi wannabe when she hesitated a moment later, looking back over her shoulder at Nic. Sure, he was a badass bounty hunter amongst other things. But she’d rather keep him safe from any supernatural shenanigans. “You know, I’m just gonna- go- talk to them. You just uh- stay here. Or leave. Leaving would be better. Or you know actually, I think we need more popcorn. Maybe you should go get some. Please.”

The hunter lost track of their initial conversation, far too focused on the Lugosi that he couldn’t quite get a read on. Fucking damn it. Nicodemus just wanted to watch the movie, not have to deal with stabbing or shooting shit for at least twelve hours. So much for that idea. It was back in one of Dracula’s coffins. His fingers skirted along the stake held up tight in his jacket but he didn’t move. Damn it. She didn’t need to get involved in this but then there she was, urging him to go get more popcorn. He shot her a look. “You’re gonna go talk to ‘em?” He shook his head twice and pulled up into a crouch before he threw himself over the truck bed. “How about you go get the popcorn? You seem more about it than me there, Nell.” The utterance of please confused him. Was she...worried about him? He looked between her and the fake Lugosi. He had already placed himself between her and the approaching figure, a subconscious action that he’d think about later. “I’ll go talk to ‘em, alright? Get this shit sorted.” He bit at the corner of his lip. “Alright?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna talk to them!” Nell insisted, a frown furrowing her brow. Couldn’t he just go get the dang popcorn? The longer she waited, the more squirrelly she got thinking that something unsavory might be occurring only a few cars away. “No!” She insisted stubbornly, perhaps even stomping a little with the word. “You- it’s- gentlemanly isn’t it? The guy gets the popcorn? You’re from the South, right? You know!” What the hell was she even saying? This was almost as bad as telling Kaden that her biting him had been performance art. Her frustration only grew as he seemed to block her path, and she bent to look around him towards whatever was still going on with the Lugosi character. “No, I’m talking to them! Look just- please just- don’t go over there, alright?” Nic getting hurt was something she certainly wasn’t willing to risk, and her features grew a little less intense as she spoke the request. And then she was doing her best to step around him and in the direction of the disturbance, jogging her way over there.

“Well maybe I wanna talk to ‘em too, huh? Ask ‘em about their...cape an’ shit.” Nicodemus didn’t have time for this. Fake fuckin’ Dracula was getting too close for comfort and he still wanted to watch the fucking movies. At her mention of him being from the South, he let out a loud, annoyed sigh. “Oh yeah, because if there’s anything I am, it’s a southern fuckin’ gentleman.” If she meant to distract him by having him go into a Cajun French rant, it almost worked as she started to slip around and away from him. Why was she so damn keen on dealing with it alone? He grunted and spit off to the side as he took off after her. “Fuck that, we’re both talkin’ to ‘em. Just get behind me if they do anything fuckin’ weird.” He said it with finality and he looked at her as they neared the stranger. “Hey, fuckass, what are you do--” Fake Lugosi rounded on him and Nicodemus was prepared for the lunge that followed, arms up as the body hit him. He maintained balance and shifted on his feet, grabbing the back of Lugosi’s jacket to flip him over. Thankfully, he was parked off to the side to avoid people. Sans Nell, apparently. If no one noticed a goddamn thing, it would be for the better.

Damn, the Cajun French rant bait hadn’t worked. “Or you could get behind me!” Nell replied stubbornly, in much of the same tone that this entire conversation had been spoken within. Nevertheless- it was...nice that he seemed to care. But she didn’t want him to get hurt by some lame-ass vampire! The conversation slipped away as she watched the fight already beginning to unfold, and a simple exclamation of “Nic!” fell from her. The single word was mixed with worry and annoyance, not at all pleased that he was being put in this situation. She quieted quickly, though— not wanting to draw even more attention to the little scuffle that was happening over here. With reflexes that were a little too fast, Lugosi was back up, and lunging once more. “Stay down!” Nell growled between gritted teeth as she took her own turn, dropping to sweep a leg out to kick Lugosi’s feet out from underneath him. He didn’t look feral, not having that sort of crazed aura about him that vampires generally did when they were starved which meant...was he simply hunting for sport? Or just shits and giggles at a vampire movie?

The hunter’s eyes shot to look at Nell. Jesus, she was concerned. That was a funny thing that Nicodemus would seriously wonder what the fuck was about later. The vampire didn’t seem to care that there were two people actively trying to put his ass down. Nic grunted and watched, impressed, as Nell put the vampire’s ass to the dirt again. He pressed a hand against Fake Lugosi’s cold neck and pressed his face into the dirt, fanged mouth open and full of mud. “Alright,” the hunter murmured as he shifted on his heels. “Don’t know what your fuckin’ deal is but this ain’t the fuckin’ place for it, sharptooth. Don’t try it again.” The vampire hissed, or tried to, with a mouth full of dirt. He glanced up at Nell, then over to the cars not that far away. His ears picked up someone talking, whispering about what was going on over there. There being where Nic, Nell, and the vampire were. He grumbled. “Just doin’ security, keep watchin’ the goddamn movie,” he said, voice raised by a thin margin. His grip tightened on the back of the vampire’s neck as he tried to pull him up by the scruff like an angry cat. “Nell, got a feelin’ he might bolt. I ain’t got a stake. You?” The vampire went rigid at that and threw his head back, clocking Nic right in the face. His grip faltered enough for the vampire to shrug him off and do just what he said he would: bolt. Right for her.

People were watching. Which meant that magic wasn’t really an option. Nell had been trying to use less of it in situations like this even moreso than usual, all to aware of how Miriam was slinking about these days. Plus….she didn’t exactly know Nic’s opinion on witches, and wasn’t entirely sure if she was ready or not to discover it. Nevertheless, she was somewhat amused by the picture of Nic holding the pitiful creature. If it hadn’t been clear that this particular piece of trash was...exactly that, she might have fought the mention of a stake. Instead, she simply shook her head. “Not on me.” Next thing she knew, the thing was charging her, and brown eyes widened as it grew closer. A snarl curled her own lips as it closed in, and she dug in her heels. What she did next wasn’t the most graceful of fight techniques...but raising a foot to harshly kick the vampire in the privates certainly proved effective enough as he doubled over. Then she was darting towards a nearby, empty car to duck behind it under the guise of searching in the mud. Taking the chance to perform a bit of clandestine magic, she summoned a wooden stake from seemingly thin air. “Found one!” she called out before making sure she muddied up the weapon that had been sitting in her room at home not seconds ago .”Catch!” With that, she was launching the piece of wood towards Nic, for she was no longer in stabbing proximity.

Nicodemus realized the absurdity of the question right after he asked it. Right, most people didn’t normally carry fucking stakes on their persons at any given moment. Even he barely did. Only when the situation called for it. Needless to say, he didn’t expect fucking movie night to be one such situation. As he shook off the headbutt, he looked over in time to see Nell handle it about as tactfully as he would and tried very fucking hard to not grin. It failed and it lit up his face, just by a slim margin. Then she was running away and that grin faltered. Was she about to fucking leave his ass after they’d shared some shitty popcorn? The audacity. As she returned, stake in hand from who knows where, he was glad to be proven wrong. He reached up and caught the stake. In as smooth of a motion as he could, he pivoted and went weight, plus stake, first into the Bela Lugosi wannabe. The vampire gasped for a second before the burst into dust, which Nicodemus promptly blocked with his body as a couple curious humans glanced over. “Part of the show, folks. Regular fuckin’ mindfreak,” he said gruffly. Maybe it was the tone but it was enough to get eyes back on the screen that the real Lugosi stalked across. The hunter looked at Nell, forehead furrowed and eyes squinted. “Don’t you say it. Don’t you dare say we make an alright team.”

Nell couldn’t even begin to describe how beautiful the scene was while Nic caught the stake and promptly turned the vampire to dust. There might have been fireworks. The mayor might have been there promising the pair of them keys to the city for being such upstanding and badass citizens. Either way, her fists punched into the air in tandem, a wide smile on her lips! “Yes! Amazing! We kicked ass!” But didn’t this mean...apparently she wasn’t the only bounty hunter around who did other forms of hunting on the side. After all, he was the one who’d asked for a stake. “Yeah, nothing but a loser!” she called out after Nic finished his own explanation. “I’m helping,” was the only explanation she offered. Her grin had already been wide, and it wasted no time in looking as if it might split her face, eyes crinkling in a way that was also a telltale sign of being up to absolutely no good. “I wasn’t gonna say that.” Nell bent at the waist, retrieving the stake from the pile of dust, and pressing it back into Nic’s hand. “I was gonna say we make an awesome team.” With that, she began to lead the way back to the truck, intent on finishing the movie. “Do you think the popcorn’s still there?” Then, because she never knew when to stop, shit-eating grin and all, “And next time you get to be the one getting behind me. We’ll take turns.”

[saltywithsarcasm]

When I was a freshman, I had a senior neckbeard who was creepy asf- always insisted on walking me home and being very touchy even though I was uncomfortable, followed me around, tried to catfish me while pretending to be my crush online even though I never told him about my crush. He acted like he was better than me bc he was a dude, def the know-it-all type and friends with some of my friends so I couldn’t really avoid him. I know how it can be,, so YEAH I GET UR POSITION. Love you Salty! 💕

I have a whole story about a neckbeard I ran into and now I don’t trust them.

It all started back in 2017 when me, my sister and a couple of our friends went to a convention together, we were all pretty excited and ready to put on our cosplays that we’ve been working all year on.

The first day of the con was great, we were all having a fun time, eating junk from food trucks, staying up late with other cosplayers at panels and we even got to meet an actor from the Anime, Black Butler. It was going pretty well.

The second day was when we met him.

I can’t really remember what cosplay I was wearing at the time but I know this guy was cosplaying a character from the same fandom and he came up to me wanting a photo which I agreed to since that’s what people did at conventions.

After the photo was taken, me and my friend went along our business. I remember going to the artists alley afterwards because I wanted to see if they had any prints that I could hang up on my wall back at home. I remember buying this cute cat-bat plush and a few posters drawn by some local artists, even followed them on their social media so I could be updated what to look forward to next year.

Later that day we all met up and hauled all our junk back to the room, pretty tired from all the activities they had that day and decided to change into comfortable clothes. I got change into my pjs pretty quickly and wanted to go down to the food court to get something to eat so I went ahead down by myself while the others were still changing out of their cosplays.

Since we were in the third floor, I had to take an elevator which took forever to wait on but eventually it came up to my floor and to my dismay, there was a guy by himself inside. Not to be mean, I’m just not a really people-person and was already socially exhausted from being at the con all day but I didn’t want to wait for the elevator again so I got in and hit the floor button.

Instantly after the doors close this guy is asking about the con, if I was having fun, if I dressed up, who was I cosplaying. All the sort of stuff, which was understandable because people have a great time at conventions so I answered him, turns out he was the guy who asked me for a photo earlier that day and we thought it was pretty cool that we bumped into each other again. We chatted for a bit until he arrived at the second floor.

After that I just went to the food court and got something to eat, sister and my friends came down shortly after that and we brought our food back to the room to watch Yuri on Ice for the night.

The guy didn’t cross my mind for the rest of the con, not until it was over and we went home, running into him at our local supermarket. Turns out he lived in our hometown as well, which we thought was pretty cool. Made a new friend who was into the same fandoms we liked, cosplayed and lives in town. Pretty cool, huh?

We started hanging out after, playing dnd and even did stuff like hanging out at the mall. Pretty much everything normal friends did.

It wasn’t until a few months later, he started to get on everyone’s nerves because turns out, he was whiny, wanted everyone to pity him but also wanted all of us to worship the ground he stood on like he was sort of protagonist from an anime.

Even started to telling us who we should cosplay and how we should cosplay for the next con, even told my sister she shouldn’t go as a character she liked because he already planned to.

It was really obnoxious and though we did still hung out, we didn’t as much as we used to.

After that, on one of our barely rare occasions we did hang out with him again, I remember him telling me about his new girlfriend and about her moving in with him soon, me telling him that it was pretty cool and even congratulated them. Then he asks me if I’m seeing anyone, I told him my sexual orientation and yes, I was single but wasn’t really looking for a relationship, even had to tell him before I only liked him as a friend when I noticed he started being overly friendly towards me early on; I was happy being single and didn’t really have any intentions of changing that anytime soon.

I don’t really like repeating myself but I know a few people tend to like to flip these sort of things onto the victims and sympathize with the guys by claiming “you should have just told him you weren’t interested or you were leading him on”.

Oh no, it was nothing like that. I already told him I wasn’t interested in him earlier on, he knew that I didn’t like him like that because I flat out told him.

Later that night I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post the guy shared, a photo stating “share if you have no problem dating a person with this sexuality” or something like that. I thought this was really strange considering I told him only hours ago and not to mention, he told me that he was moving in with his new girlfriend.

It was a red flag and I remember texting my sister about it shortly after. She replies rather quickly, telling me she felt weird vibes from him too, even mention that he was a little too touchy-feely with her while we played dnd, like trying to put his arm around her or his hand on her thigh. She told me she told him to stop and would swat his hand away.

There was even one time he wanted to get drunk at our house while we played dnd and I kind of felt like it was just an excuse so he could stay a night at our place, we told him no; In which he replies we should get drunk at his place, we told him no again because I wasn’t born yesterday and could see his shady intentions from a mile away.

It only got worse from there, weeks later some of his coworkers started approaching me and my sister when they saw us in public and told us some of the things he was saying about us, things you wouldn’t say about your “friends” and the most creepy part was that they told us that he liked us both and want to date me and my sister as “a set”.

We were repulsed by this, so we didn’t hang out him anymore after that.

I really wish I could say that was the end of it but it wasn’t.

Though we quit hanging out with him, he would keep messaging us wanting to hang out more. I came up with more or less excuses like I was busy with some of my art projects or I’d just tell him I didn’t want to hang out with him.

I didn’t even see him until a few months afterwards when I was hanging with another guy friend, my best friend name, lets call him Keith for now.

Me and Keith had just finished a all horror movie marathon, which pretty much all we ever did when I hung out at his house but we were getting pretty hungry and decided to go get some food at the restaurant nearby.

It was a pretty big restaurant and was a little busy but thankfully there was nobody at the register so we both went up to take our order, me first because Keith was deciding what he wanted to eat.

It wasn’t until after we got our food that I noticed the creepy dude was even there because Keith told me some guy was staring at us awfully hard. It was eerie so we left and went back to his house to eat.

Hours later I get a message on Facebook from the guy, asking about who I was with and basically demanding to know what our relationship was.

I told him it was none of his business but he wouldn’t let it go so I told him Keith was my best friend and left it at that, I didn’t reply anymore because it wasn’t any of his concern who I was with and I just didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

None of us spoke to him much even when we saw him in public and he tried to speak with us; we were all just done with him and he just wouldn’t take the hint.

Few months later the conversation was coming up again, so I spent most of my time working on my cosplay and listening to music and unfortunately when we went to the con, he was there too.

We didn’t let this bother us though, we were all having a fun time like we normally did when we went to these things, people came up to us complimenting our outfits and chatted with us; we all almost forgot he was there.

That is until on night there, me and a friend were just sitting in the bar area in our pjs while everyone else went to either a panel or the rave. We were talking and showing each other what we had bought from artist alley until my friend was glancing behind me and I turn but I didn’t see what she was looking at until I noticed the fucking creep staring down at us from a balcony; we got up and moved out of his line of vision, pretending not to notice him.

At some point, one of our other friends met up with us and we told her about it. It was creepy but still, we didn’t let it ruin our night and we all just decided to go to rave to hang out with the others.

When the music got too loud, me and the friend who was spending time with me at the bar before decided to go back to our room for the night but on our way there, we ran into him. He was wanting to hang out but we told him we were heading in for the night and he tries to follow along, wanting to find out where our room was and wanting to come inside.

We rushed back, ignoring him.

After the con, his girlfriend starts messaging me, telling me she broke up with him and told me some of the most fucked up, creepiest shit he’s said about wanting to do to me, her and my sister.

I was beyond furious, never wanted to hurt someone so badly in my life and it only got worse when she told me about the photos.

Apparently while we were all still friends, he would sneak photos of me while I was leaning down to play with the cat, pictures I hadn’t even known about until she told me. She even showed me them, they weren’t made up, I saw them.

I blew up, messaging him over Facebook messager, screaming at him and calling him out on every creepy bullshit he’s pulled on us for the past year and of course, he has the nerve to deny it all and blame the photos on his ex, claiming she did it for blackmail because they had a bad break up.

I’m not fucking stupid, we hadn’t hung out with him for months and the only time they could have been taken was before this bad break up.

Not going to lie, she was over a few times but the ex was an air head; no way she could have been smart enough to want to plan blackmail ahead before anything went south between them; so I knew the whole “she did it to make me look bad” was bullshit but to play it safe, I cut them both out of my life.

Put them both in a group chat and told them that I was done and couldn’t trust either of them, I blocked them both. Someone did take a picture of me without my knowledge or consent; I felt violated and I’m pretty fucking sure I know which one of them it was.

I don’t talk to either of them anymore but to my inconvenience, I still do see pathetic excuse of a human being time to time.

Hopefully he’s smart enough to keep his distance from me but then again; he wasn’t smart enough to tell the difference between flirting and rejection.

Don’t ever force yourself to spend time with people who make you uncomfortable and to all those who go to cons, please be careful because even if you meet new people and they seem pretty cool, you don’t really know them and they can turn out to be a predator.

This person gave me severe trust issues.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

some random numbers: 1, 3, 6, 15, 23, 31, 35, 40. give me ur ungodly long answers.

lmaooo YES brevity whom......i cannot be concise

1) favorite videos?

i sure spent 2010 - 2014 enjoying youtube horror interpersonal-drama series marble hornets, those are a good time. and here in the future you and i both know there is just a wellspring of wrol-related Video Content out there, god damn, i really love so many of them.....in between that there’s sure been a lot of fun and funney videos and like, some Artistique ones i like to revisit [or have disappeared :( ] but i always like to promote this Wuthering Heights one. i love it. oh lol!!!! and the uh, Skate 3 Glitch compilations!!! so so funny

3) favorite memes?

i think Deep Fried Memes are fun all the time lol. the Youtube Meme of “___ but ____” is a lot of fun OH YEAH steamed hams was awesome too. the 24601 Releases A Sammich On Parole ytp is priceless......this is just turning into favorite videos again lmao. vine as a meme and a whole

6)favorite mixes?

you know i never really made or used playlists lol!!!! i will just be like, in the mood for certain songs or else like “i want to listen to music but....which ones”.....i say i can never be concise and all of these answers turning out short lol. it’s not b/c i’m Concise but b/c like, i don’t know what Favorites i have and i don’t have a memory that works without Direct Reminders of Specific Things so i’m just failing to like, come up with the info in the first place smh

15) favorite fictional characters?

here we go lol i can answer this one cuz when i have a fave rave it’s rare and like, easier to remember cuz i do not Go Hard about it that often.....weirdly for the first few years of The Decade i did’t really have such certain faves.....i was def enjoying some characters, as i always do, but nothing like super standout. then in ‘11 or ‘12 or whatever i was like oh hey, ed from cowboybeboy.......and then just had like, the solo experience of me humoring myself w/ that. bit of an usual one b/c a lot of the characters i Really latch on to will tend to be kinda roughly similar in ways that maybe seem pretty at-first-glance levels of obvious, buuut idk she’s not That far off from my usual selections i guess lol. anyways then in 2014 i was like, time to go ham for lars. what a valuable time it was....what Fun we had.....truly tho! and then another interval later it’s 2016 and for similarly (relatable characters of roughly the same cut) i was like, well here i am having a great time re: kip, all while getting to generously use of my fave shade of blue and fangs central and all that fun stuff. and then another interval later the Eventual Unfolding of what started innn 2017 i guess occurs, and it’s late 2018, and i’m like, time to look into Jared Kleinman b/c just from reading the wikipedia summary that didn’t mention him all that much i could tell this was probably a character i’d go ham for for predictable reasons, and the vague interest in that has stuck with me for the past little-over-a-year......and then i was Completely right lol. deh? well that’s just Bonus Jared Lore, to me (though of course alana in her own right is a great and similarly underappreciated character. rights)....and then of course i’ve had a lot of fun with pretty much each and every Wrol Role lmao.......Very fond of jeremy, and also christine, and bmc just has really enjoyable and interesting characters all over the place. and of course, here i am, Extremely #about winston quantbillions as another certified fave rave, really. call it classic!!!

[[answered both 23 and 31 prior, actually.....words were typed....]]

35)a random memory you remember with strange clarity?

tough one because lol a fair amount of “you recorded this memory in a fair amount of detail” is due to increased levels of unpleasantness / stress / discomfort, and if it’s also “i remember this b/c it was Nice” then i wouldn’t call that Strange clarity lol, and Random Memory like “just pull one up from the ol memory bank” is like, god, i wish it were that simple........but give me a min.

oh yeah i had a High Time of it when pokemon go came out (only pokemonn game i have ever played lol) coz there was like, this stretch of Landmarks stops that started at this garden and went along this waterfront / connected park forrr maybe like a half mile stretch? ideal territory and people would actually like, come from out of town to partake in it lol. and i’d Download podcast eps on my phone from my work’s wifi and just like, in the evening listen to that or music and just like, walk and do this shit. i had like five or six gyaradoses at one point cuz i guess the riverside nature of it meant they wanted to throw all these magikarp at you (there Were carp, also! one of the parks had a koi pond.) and like, there were just all these people around doing it along with you, even that late at night and in the early AM hours, so it was fairly social even if u weren’t there with a group or talking with anyone (though there was Camaraderie like, oh hey just so you guys know, there is a ____ over by the boat.) and it was just an interesting Walk with several things to look at and routes to take. and one time in a weird Dead Of Night time like 1am there was this like, smallish cruise ship docked that actually Set Off. and like, a bunch of us randos were just standing there and watching this unfold. this isn’t a very good Clear Random Memory but if i tried to think of a good one, god only knows how long it’d take me lol

40)an important personal revelation?

oh jeez this has really been a decade with lots of the unfortunate combo of “stuff that is a bummer but also boring” lol.......a benefit of getting to spend more time than not Away From The Parents’ House was like, oh sweet, having this perspective for long enough finally leads me to the conclusion of why i hate this......B/c It Is Bad. oh yeah and then there was also conclusively figuring out early in the decade like oh right, i’m trans, that makes sense.......other layers of Gayassedness like oh, more specifically i’m nonbinary, oh yeah and like, i’m not straight, call that queer and/or bi and/or also Gay......bein grey ace like a champ, and aromantic like, oh yeah i’m not like, fucking up at being a person somehow and Letting People Down by not wanting to date them (i mean besides rando cishet men. they can be let down regardless).....and just like, this ongoing process of getting the space to b figuring out myself and what i like For myself in alll kinds of ways....even up till now with the “oh yeah ive been a theatre gay all my life lmaooo” bit that’s like, totally obvious but just like, i didn’t much have the reason to even look at the would-be obvious stuff from the right perspex till now. and it’s pretty fun to realize a Lifelong Area Of Big Interest like that, cuz those sorts of things can feel elusive. and then also unfortunately a lot of the decade has involved like, “oh my self-esteem is so fucked that it’s circling back around and i’m appreciating and valuing myself and that i deserve decent treatment and Not bad shit,” which was a crappy process obviously lol but it was nice when i did start to get there, and making further progress on that front. im not dead certain when i was like “hmm...am autistic” b/c that was definitely a really ongoing process of figuring that out lol, but when / as i did it’s definitely a series of “oh hahaha this is why i’m like This or why i do This or feel like This about This!!” and it’s really easy to learn a totally Brand New Thing all the time abt bein autistic where it’s like Oh #Me!! coz yknow. the info By and For autistic ppl is not always widely available and known of. love that for us

[blauregen]

fav ♀-releases in 2018 (in no particular order)

so, since i started this list like this last year too, here we go: i know little to nothing about music, i have weird (may i say b a d) taste and my reasonings are - as expected from a subjective list - Super personal ,, also i dont follow every female k-artists so there are definitely blind spots for me too! that said ... LETS GET GAY! LETS GO LESBIANS!

Wind (바람 ) - Heize

suprise surprise, its Heize again. i was rarely this excited about a comeback this year as i was about Wind ... i adore this mini. i really love Heize’s voice, especially now that she is playing around with rapping And singing more than ever, its just ,, i hear her voice and i just, immediately calm down and feel a warm glow in me rising and --- this is getting really cheesy, isn’t it.

my fav tracks have to be Sorry and wish you well (feat. DAVII), however i can listen to this whole album without a problem - of course Jenga as the title was amazing as well, Dahye’s voice works really well with Gaeko’s as well. additionally i loved the ~design for this album, the photoshoot is stunning and the whole aesthetic is very much up my alley.

AND SINCE WE R ALREADY TALKING ABOUT DAHYE:

+ First Sight (첫눈에) - Heize

as expected, i love her winter single release as well. again, a Lovely mixture of her singing and a solid very groovy amazing rapping part. i did like her mini a lot more lyricwise (lots of it is really sad but Sorry has such smart lyrics!!!), however as a “”simple”” winter release that is meant to fit this season, this is amazing.

...... also have i mentioned how Beautiful she is, jfc.

Deine - Ha:tfelt

Oh Boy. Here we go.

this is hands-down my Favorite Release of this whole year. i don’t know if its clear, but i adore yeeun. i adore her as the person park yeeun, who is an activist and very outspoken about her position of a woman in the industry, her experiences in one of the most successful girlgroups Ever, her views on feminism and sexism, the fact that she collabed with a drag organizer for her exhibition, etc etc etc. however, i also love yeeun as Ha:tfelt and adore her music. Pluhmm is such a sensual, fun and soft and yet strong song about her Own Desires and a woman that Wants to flirt and be in love and have fun and Be sensual and its so so so lovely and warm and playful and confident? i died a little at the MV because Ha:tfelt is a Woman and is portrayed as such, she is sensual and sexy and its portrayed by yeeun dancing around a flat in the sexiest dress and feeling herself and. its just Wonderful. so wonderful. i love her. Cigar is super touching too, very smooth and slick and polished and yet it has a vulnerable touch to it and is just ,, such a good song ....... thank u yenny.

Warning - Sunmi

ANOTHER AMAZING WOMAN. if i had to choose a soloist that is more active and actively promotes and performs on music and award shows etc, i’d definitely go for Sunmi. first of all: sunmi is outstandingly hardworking, talented, tough, brave, but also so so so kind and sweet and self-aware (seriously her twitter account is my social media highlight of this year, she is beyond ADORABLE and wonderful and funny) and of course she is fucking beautiful. this album is AMAZING - i can listen to the whole tracklist without skipping a single song. i adore Siren (aesthetically its my favorite title track of hers, though i do think Gashina is a little more catchy, esp together with that choreo - but i Love Siren’s horror-esque MV with the, well, siren-mermaid-imagery, so good!) but personally my favorite SONGS are ADDICT and Black Pearl - both sound very different actually, one being completely in English, but it just shows how well Sunmi can pull of different styles. god ... have u seen her on stage? shes a m a z i n g.

KHAN - I’m Your Girl ?

I started following Euna and Minju already before they debuted ... but what really made me fall in love with both their voices, be it singing or rapping (cause both are quite good at both ,,) was their DNA cover! generally the fact that they keep posting really cool covers on their youtube channel is beyond lovely and these two really managed to make me like a version of DNA ... (probably my least favorite BTS title track, lmao ,,)

their actual debut was just lovely. the song is great, soothing and super smooth and groovy and easy to listen to, their voices are stunning in it, the MV is VERY GAY, the choreo is fun and their outfits for promotion stages were such a lovely fresh wind and i really enjoyed seeing them perform a LOT. i just really like that KHAN already is quite unique and m so so so looking forward to future comebacks!

BBIBBI - IU

no highlight list without Jieun. the lyrics to this track were solely written by her and it shows - IU is an outstanding songwriter, i adore her hard work and experience and talent. the sound of the track itself is fun and bubbly and groovy and Very catchy, but my highlight is how this conflicts so beautifully with the lyrics that are quite ... critical and rough and basically show a very very sweet lovely middle finger to the rumour-netizen-culture around her ,, i am super excited for future full releases from jieun, though i still listen to Palette a lot and think she should take all the time she needs!

Bad Boy - Red Velvet

sadly, i didnt not really enjoy Red Velvets later release this year and neither did i really dig their summer release, but what i do adore to the moon and back is their The Perfect Red Velvet - The 2nd Album Repackage, though thats a lil bit of cheating since i already mentioned their Perfect Velvet album last year ,,

Bad Boy is my favorite title track of theirs this year, the styling is OUTSTANDINGLY GOOD MY GOD and the sound is just, smooth and cool and sexy and just ... damn.

also, Red Velvet definitely has some of my favorite jacket photoshoots of this year, the quality and beauty of their photos is amazing, i could spend hours just looking at those ......... and maybe i did.

What Is Love? - TWICE

the nations girl group powered through this year and released so many catchy awesome songs that i had a hard time choosing one ,, but What Is Love is definitely my MV highlight of the year and also the song itself is so so fun and lovely and cheerful and just makes me feel happy ... thank u for making me happy, TWICE!

You And I - Dreamcatcher

i have to admit: Dreamcatcher is not really my sound. their tracks remind me a little too much of Very Loud Stressful Anime Openings, so i accept that its just not my music taste ,, HOWEVER i actually really really like You and I. the song is very catchy and has this one part right before the chorus that i really love, its a very cool mysterious “dark” awesome track. moreover though i love the Whole Package that is Dreamcatcher (again, this horror-esque style of theirs is Really Up My Alley) - their styling and choreos are so clever and SEXY and goth-y and different, its just so fucking fun to watch them perform, especially the Choreo to You and I is so so so so so cool!

(also they r somewhat of a lesbian cult and m Very Appreciative of that, my god.)

LOOΠΔ - just, the whole thing.

SO - it took me until this year to really get into Loona. i knew them beforehand and was intrigued by the unique pre-debut “schedule” that their company was doing and checked out some songs but never got into them deeper. however, this year i truly listened to the Broad Amazing Variety that Loona offers and i just Have to include them here. all the girls and the subunits are super interesting and diverse and i love how especially the solo songs all sound different and lots of things were tried out and the AESTHETICS ARE OFF THE CHARTS. their full group debut was a little too ... they played it too ~safe for my taste, however i still adore lots of LOONA songs and can only recommend them!

(my favs are So Boring, i love Egoist and Heart Attack and Singing in the Rain and New and ... i’ll get back to this once i develop an actual Interesting opinion lmao)

i Can’t possibly end this list without some honorable mentions, because girls are amazing:

- (G)I-DLE are amazing rookies and performers and just such an awesome new girlgroup. Soyeon’s stage presence is just ,, wow, she is such a good rapper and performer, but the other girls are also so amazing and m so glad they are so successful and loved so far. favorite track of this year is def HANN (Alone), though all their songs are mighty good.

- Oh My Girl. maybe i dont listen to their songs as much but m in deep love with their visuals and stages and man ... call me, Yooa, please, m free almost every night.

- fromis_9 had such a cute quirky hyper Love Bomb comeback, i loved it!

- Momoland similarly had such catchy fun songs, i gotta mention them too!

- Hyuna - i love Hyuna and i wish her all the best and happiness and love and success and i hope to see her on stage again soon! (i especially loved her in Triple H, since i was actually quite a fan of that trio and the retro funky sound they went for ...... big sigh @ cube)

- Yubin ... again, not really my sound, but man. kill me Yubin, just do it, cmon.

- EXID is back to OT5! m so happy!!! I Love You was really fun, but I definitely enjoyed DDD last year more ,, but i still wanted to mention them, such a fun, diverse, different girlgroup that offers lots of different sounds and visuals and stands out to me a lot, so so good!

- Chungha ... m still in the process of falling in love with Chungha but oh god .... have u seen her? her dancing skills are out of this world, her beauty is stunning, she is so so sweet and kind and tough and her songs m so eager to properly discover and also a rly niche point but: I LOVE HER ALBUM DESIGNS SO SO SO MUCH.

- Minseo is another new amazing soloist ,, i discovered her at first through my fav photographers instagram (@ mu_gung) who took just. outstanding pics of Minseo but i also Adore her voice and she has done Amazing covers as well, her Why So Lonely is my absolute favorite and id dare to say i like it just as much as the original ... check her out, her MV visuals and concepts are Super interesting and beautiful and fun as well!

and many many many many more that i missed or forgot!

just know: girls are the best.

[6ad6ro]

um so… i woke up thinking of this old friend. she was like best friends w my bad ex? like i used to hang out w her like crazy. she was rly nice? mostly? tho she def had this issue where she didn’t rly know what she wanted in life. and let other ppls warped judgements of “how ppl should act” rub off on her.

like i remember times she would more or less call me a lazy piece of shit to my face. like it was somehow “understood”? but then i’d be like “why are u calling me that?” and she wouldn’t know. bc it wasn’t her actual opinion. she liked who i was. idk she was just rly confused. i think her brother was a cop. her dad was emotionally neglecting and like conservative or militant? i remember her always wanting to smoke pot but also saying “drugs are bad™”. she was someone who u could tell always wanted to be free but was held back by the opinions of the people around her.

especially her on again off again bf? i… didn’t like him. he wanted to grow up to be a politician. he only listened to classic rock. he looked and acted like a conservative wanabee eric foreman from that 70s show, but somehow even worse. he had her convinced that her dream was to be “a loving housewife”… it made me sick. i remember how he tried to convince her to stop hanging out w her best friend and me JUST bc she smoked pot. bc “she was an evil hippie and bad”. i mean tbh she SHOULD have stopped hanging out w my bad ex, but for completely dif reasons. like he was def that kinda guy. a selfish, immature, stubborn, self-righteous idiot. but he was the first guy to ever rly like her. and she had… self esteem issues. i remember how she would… was always waiting for him to decide to wanna go out w her. she seemed so lonely.

her and i were kinda friends separately from my bad ex (lets call her “A”). so one time i remember she ended up coming over to hang w me n watch rocky horror in my room? it was rly fun tbh!! we were having a great time! it was totally innocent! but i remember at one point she like… got weird. got up. and was like “im sorry i think i’m being a bad person i gotta go”. and left? i didn’t get it at the time? or rather… i think i denied it. she clearly liked me, wanted something to happen that night, and felt like a bad friend for having those thoughts. i never asked her about it but looking back it was p obvious. also A was a control freak n just a bad person… so i wouldn’t be surprised if she told L to stay away from me. even tho A was constantly cheating on me n using everyone around her etc. idk it was complicated.

i also remember another time before her and that guy that became her bf (lets call her “l” and him “m”)… i remember there was some small party at my house and for some horribly embarrassing reason my bad ex (we were still together then) convinced me to mess around w her under a blanket in same room as our other friends? we were all v v drunk. i guess it made others in room feel v lonely n so L and this other girl started like… both making out w the one other guy in the room? it was bizarre. that kind of stuff is fine in some circumstances? but this was rly unhealthy. i remember the guy felt bad and told the other girl he had to stop bc he had always rly liked L and wanted to see where things would go w her? other girl said she was fine w it (and knowing her persona it easily was?) and he ended up napping on floor w L. next day i think she woke up, completely regretted what happened, and ran back to M. it kinda sucked for guy bc he rly cared about her but she never even was willing to talk about what had happened. to her it was just a drunken mistake (i knew she kinda liked him back but obv she was scared).

even w all that stuff, L was a constant member of our hangout group for like… 7 or 8 years straight? idk! it was always rly fun w her! even if, looking back, A constantly was ruining all our fun w her insane bullshit. i have fond memories of 3am park hangouts n just roaming around talking n going on adventures… i’d never cheat on a partner. never have, never will. but i think i did have like… feelings for L that i always ignored? that part of her that… wanted freedom? from those weird family’s/bf’s/society’s ideals that she let chain her down? it was attractive. she was a nice person just doin her best.

anyways i remember around when A and i finally broke up for good (only a month after my dad died, if u wanna know how awful of a person A was). and she ended up taking me aside n warning me that A had been cheating on w me w another guy, but it’d gotten serious w him. and A of course was lying and stringing me along so she could get money n sex from me etc. A using me was p common. but L had had enough and “betrayed A” (did a v nice thing) and told me. i think that was… really what set in motion A and i being done for good. that helped wake me up about what a horrible person A was. and had always been. i’ll always be grateful to L for that. that must’ve been hard for her. and i think her and A’s like 10 year friendship died over that. which rly was a good thing like A was a terrible person.

anyways fast forward like 2? 3?? 4 years? L had gone off to a college out of state w her boyfriend M. she… followed him around. no judgement, but it prob wasn’t good for her. i was in an apartment in another city and me and A had been DONE™ for years. i was still def hurt from the 8+ years of abuse, but i was def over her at least. seeing other ppl regularly. it was def a weird time for me but… that’s another story.

L and i hadn’t rly talked in years. i just didn’t rly associate w ppl A still hung around. i never knew her and L had stopped being friends or i prob woulda kept up w L. i don’t think L and i cut off contact on purpose, but it was just one if those “things”. but L hit me up outta the blue. was like “ back in town do u wanna hang?” and we did! it was rly nice seeing her! we went out and about. idk. we started hanging for a bit. but she… idk she clearly rly enjoyed my company? but also… had those weird judgements. idk.

one time we were hanging and she was at my place and saw all the alcohol i had layin around and was like “hey uhhh can i have some?” and i was like “hehe okay i guess we can drink” and ordered a pizza and we just hung out.

idk but before we got drunk she finally told me why she was back. M, the guy she had followed to college, had done the gross, stereotypical dude thing of breaking up w her right after they both graduated. i got a vibe he had been cheating on her all throughout too. he rly was the type. and as we drank we talked about it. i felt so bad for her. she vented all night. and idk all i remember was we were both v drunk and i think i was… idk why my head was in her lap? but she was playing w my hair. and idk. we kissed. things happened. she seemed so happy w it! i was too. i even stupidly cracked a joke “i bet A would be rly pissed if she saw us rn” and we both laughed. i always regretted sayin it tho bc its not like i was doin it to get back at A.

but i remember we were in my bed making out bc i had accidentally gotten aggressive w her n slammed her into a wall n started kissing her? so hard her nose started bleeding? i felt awful but she LOOOVED it and idk we somehow wound up in bed. idk i kinda regret this. bc… i was having a hard time around then and… just sleeping w all my friends? it just became… clockwork. i would do what i thought my friends wanted me to do regardless of how i felt. i had become kinda a slut.

so i remember like… making out but then i started to escalate things? and i think fir a split second she sobered up and was like “wait lets cool this down a little”. and i was like “okay no prob” and we both tried to go for a walk n find a park? we walked hand in hand and she kept telling me how happy she was? like how… this was the kinda stuff M would never do with her? she was just smiling a lot. it was cute. but i was so drunk n still fairly new to area, so i took her in wrong direction from the park. we ended up giving up n just walking back.

we got back in and thats i think when she sobered up mostly but i wad still out of it? and she realised her dog hadn’t been fed. it was def a partial excuse but she rly loved that dog so i could tell it was REAL guilt. i felt bad bc i tried to take her hand n go back into my room bc i wanted her to stay n cuddle? i was just drunk. i wasn’t forceful, but i shoulda been like “oh that’s fine!” but tbh i was also a touch worried she was too drunk to drive. well anyways… she left.

later we did have a looong talk about it. like… she ended up going to try and get back with M again (i still will never know what she saw in him like he rly used her n treated her bad like even going so far as to ask her advice on dating other girls after they broke up). but idk i thought she was smart enough to end things w him, and could tell her and i had feelings, so i tried to stay a lil closer than friends? idk what i told her but it was along the lines of “we can stay friends but if things happen sometimes it’s okay w me”. i look back on it w embarrassment but i guess it wasn’t that bad a thing to say?

but rly it was mostly a drunken mistake. and she was scared. and wanted to cut it off. she couldn’t end things w M like she was still torally in love w him even tho he had abandoned her. tbh i know what that’s like. well anyways i remember a few hangouts later she just… bailed on me? in a rly mean way? i had gone to pick her up from her house (idk 30 min drive each way) and she just… totally stood me up. i was parked at her house like texting her wondering where she was? and she sent me a text like “sorry something came up”. and wouldn’t tell me what happened and i got annoyed and drove home.

i have a feeling now that like M had… shown back up in her life and she sorta… threw me away to run back to him? i mean i can’t take it too personally bc she woulda done that to ANYONE. i don’t remember what happened after that but we just stopped talking again. i saw later on fb that her and M had gotten engaged or married?? idek? idk if her and i are still fb friends or if one of us blocked the other or what? i don’t remember.

but idk. i hope she’s well. i hope M got WAYYY better. or she left him. or idk. i wouldn’t even know how to contact her. i’m almost afraid to. like bc i… could see her giving up on her dreams and just being that housewife to him. even if she was mildly content doing that, i know she’d never be happy. and it’s so unlikely that he’d have grown to be good to her. i just… hope she’s doing well and is okay and happy. idk why i woke up worrying about her. it’s been so long… i’m such a dif person now. idk. time is weird.

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Ajdhdjsk okokok I just need to say it to get it out of my head but I feel like in a soulmate au, Dola's family would like,,, have her soulmark removed? To encourage her to focus on her art or whatever. And then Satan not being sold on the concept of soulmates, not saying anything when he feels that connection to her, and her not saying anything coz she doesn't even have the mark to prove it and wouldn't he have said if he felt the same?? Okay that's everything no more talking about soulmates.

I'm glad you're doing well!! I did see you wrote a thing but I don't think I can read it because hanahaki squicks me out 😭. Very glad you had fun writing it!! Super duper intrigued by what you've said about Lucifer and Dola's relationship as well :O

I'm pretty alright!! Morgen is..... Well I realised it's about time to actually work on them interacting with the other characters and stuff and then I got scared and started procrastinating lol.

I'm not super sure on how to write other people's characters and I really don't wanna get it wrong skfjsks. I know I'm the only one seeing it but it's still sjsksjd. Doesn't help that the love interest I see meshing best for them isn't my favourite either lol

Aksjsj why is creating stuff so hard 😮‍💨

Well okay I did like, write out an outline of how their childhood and teenage years go so I've not been completely unproductive with them but yknow. Might have to replay the game to try and get the creative juices flowing.

Anyway!!! Please tell me about amnesiac!Dola!! Either version!! I am going to look at your corruption arc Dola art again rn because demon!Dola is just akdhdjs perfect

- 🐝

… Nonnie… come on… You just sold me a really interesting soulmate au concept that likely involves lots of mutual pining and now I’m going to be thinking about it a lot…. I’d have to write this myself too >:( Unless you wanna? Lol

Ooh dw that’s fair!! Tbh just from the horror-ish take on hanahaki with the thing being a literal curse Dola developed with Lucifer’s help as revenge I’m not sure a lot would really read it because it’s not the slightest bit romantic (unless you think its lovely that dola went after someone who tried to mess with her boyfriend?)—it’s def something that that’s mostly self indulgent in like, a different way >.> And Dola and Lucifer only show up at the very end to inspect their handiwork too so it’s not like it’s fun to read if that’s what youre after lol

(Also shsjaj honestly next to Sol and Satan, I really enjoy thinking of stuff Dola does with Lucifer… Because unintentionally he ended up being someone who has a lot to offer Dola and vice versa? Anyway—)

Aaaaaa gosh, one of the more stressful and challenging parts of making a character… If it’s any solace it took a long time for me to feel any level confident in how I see Dola and Satan’s interactions and how their relationship unfolds? In the end I realized that all my favorite takes on Satan written by others were actually pretty different with a few key core characteristics kept in but presented at different levels. So so long as those key parts of the character are kept I think you’re good and people won’t notice that much? And like… Morgen’s going to be different from canon MC there so of course the characters are going to be different with them too, and since Morgen’s unique to your writing it’s even harder to spot what could be OOC

(Also idk. Unless the author themself says that x character would do y and z in situation n explicitly I think just by virtue of everyone understanding each character differently, your take may not necessarily be OOC or wrong? Also sometimes the slightly [sometimes heavily] altered version of a character is way more enjoyable than canon but this feels like an OM thing more than in media in general >.<)

But gosh… how’d you end up with your least favorite character being Morgen’s ideal LI?? Doesn’t that take some fun away? 😖

Waaaaa tell me about their childhood and stuff (if you want to, ofc!)!! And hopefully playing the game again would help… Perhaps you’ll spot ways for your fav characters to end up meshing great with Morgen along the way? 👀

As for amnesiac!Dola… One takes pretty much fluffy with a bit of ‘oh… hold on’ kinda sad realization about her past while one’s kinda… tragic in a way? Guess which is which ahsjshs

For the fluffier ‘her memories are gone for a while’ while she’s human version, it’s a bit like when Lucifer lost his memories in S2? Her walls are all gone and she has no reason to keep her cards so close to her chest, plus much of what’s made her Like That in the first place has been forgotten.

So quiet, serious, and private Dolasach who keeps herself fairly reserved most of the time turns into someone who’s a good deal more raw and expressive, but open with how she feels. I feel like she’d been more relaxed overall and have the same kind of naive freshness that amnesiac!Lucifer had too. There would definitely be that same vague hints of memory in her that remembers most of the cast sans the royals too.

Overall I think she’d be like a whole new person and while the brothers enjoy and make the most of it they’d also be like dang… what happened to her?

The other angstier version is of course demon!Dola and I… have honestly been thinking about it some.

Basically as Dola turned into a demon, she lost all memories of her life as a human but still has the personality she had as a human and lots of vague, fragmented bits of her memory. She very very vaguely recognizes the brothers and the angels, and is a lot more drawn to Satan and Solomon for reasons she doesn’t understand. A lot of things make her feel like she’s been there or done that or heard of that before but she can’t remember, and everyone tries their best to bring back all those memories.

It’s a little bit of a parallel to Satan’s whole thing, except it’s like… She’ll be wrangling with that fact that her existence brings them all pain because she’s just not the human they all love so much? That they don’t actually love her but an old version of her that they’re all desperately trying to bring back and no matter what she does, she will actually never be able to divorce herself from her human self because she’s so much the same.

It would genuinely be like… even if she got her memories as a human back, she’s not actually the same person anymore? It would be just demon!Dola but with all the memories of human!Dola so it’s not like anyone’s getting their Dola ‘back’ and more just now the demon they all live with knows where theyre all coming from and what they mean when they talk about the past with her.

Idk I just got super into thinking about how demon!Dola would be tbh and it just went here and it’s kinda really from wondering ‘how can i really make her suffer’ because I kept thinking about Dola as the Avatar of Despair or something roughly that >.>

[80srichie]

collide

WHAT IS UP yALL

so i got this idea that derry was the upside down of hawinks and someone told me to write it, so here i am.

however, my wonderful co-writer and beta @richiewheeler helped me out A TON and she’s gonna be helping me write this whole fic so pls give her some love as well pls and thx

i hope you guys like it! we are SUPER DUPER proud of it 

without further ado, here is my stranger things/it crossover

summary: a stranger things/it crossover fic 

pairings: reddie def, and lots of others to be determined

words: 1991

Will Byers always had to ride his bike home at night, it seemed. Mike’s Dungeons and Dragons games managed to always run way longer than the group had anticipated, usually, 10 hours was a normal time frame for them. School nights always ruined the flow of it, sure, but Will’s team always won. Sometimes he wondered if Mike let them win, or, perhaps, it was just luck.

His older brother Jonathan was working a late shift, as was their mother, which was a common occurrence. He didn’t mind riding his bike so late, he’d gotten used to it. Nothing happened in Hawkins, so it was almost therapeutic. The sound of his bike wheels thumping against the pavement and crickets that chirped in the darkness.

Mirkwood, a street so familiar to him he could almost see it just as he would in the day, stretched in front of him. Since it was only a fall Sunday, there was no one there. He hummed to himself and looked through the woods of Hawkins Forest. He’s almost home.

Will looked back at the road, and saw a tall figure standing right in the middle of the street. Yelping, he slammed on his breaks, nearly falling off the front of his bike as he skids to a stop.

It was a clown, with wild red hair and a pristine costume. If it were Halloween, Will would’ve been impressed. But the autumn holiday was last month and this didn’t seem like a costume. It was too real as if the face paint wasn’t actually paint at all.

“Hey there, Will. Where are you off to?” The clown spoke, his words causing Will to physically shiver in fear.

His mother’s warnings of don’t talk to strangers rattled in his head, so he just swallowed and wanted to leave it there. But he had to know.

“How did you know my name?” Will asked, his voice sounding scared to his own ears. He wished he could be stronger about it, but he wasn’t.

“I’m a friend of your dad’s,” The clown said. “He tells me all about you, Will.”

He hated the way this guy said his name, and he knew his dad didn’t say many positive things about him. He changed the subject, “Why the clown outfit?” “Well, I’m Pennywise the Dancing Clown,” The Clown- Pennywise- said, grinning. In the light of the moon, his eyes shined bright and his teeth looked so sharp. “I was just at a party, and I thought I’d take Mirkwood home.”

Will smiled awkwardly a little, “We call this street Mirkwood too.” He didn’t know why he continued to talk to strange man in a clown costume. He almost felt compelled to stay.

“I know,” Pennywise said. Something in Will’s stomach twisted and his fingers clutched the handles of his bike until his knuckles went white.

“My mom’s expecting me home,” Will started to excuse himself, but Pennywise frowned. That frown sent a wave of discomfort through his small frame. A frown like that wasn’t normal. It was far too sinister, too off to be ordinary. The clown tilted his head a bit, his hair staying in the perfect “windblown” shape it had been in. That wasn’t normal either. His eyes, Will noticed, were a bright orange color. Number three on the ‘not normal’ list about this guy. One was lopsided as if he had a lazy eye. One concentrated on Will’s figure, the other looming off slightly to the right of him. Number four, check.

“Let me show you something first.” The clown spoke slowly as if he was trying to be friendlier, more convincing. Will felt as if he didn’t have much of a choice. The man blocked his way regardless, so he stayed put and kept his mouth shut.

The clown smiled once more. His face suddenly contorted, his head snapping to the side violently at a 90-degree angle. That’s when Will realized it was no longer a person. This thing wasn’t human, it never was, to begin with. Will watched in horror as this thing transformed into a large-scale version of the Demogorgon, one of the many pieces in Mike’s Dungeons and Dragons campaign from today. He was terrified, slowly backing up with his bike in a vain attempt to separate himself from this monster as much as he could. Will glanced around him quickly, seeing if he had a possible escape route. He didn’t.

When he glanced back at the monster, it started to advance. With no choice, Will threw his bike down and ran down the street, the thumps growing louder behind him. The last thing he heard was his own terrified scream before he hit the pavement and his vision clouded black.

In a town closer than they thought, Georgie Denbrough bounced beside his brother, Bill, as he made a paper sailboat as a storm crossed through Derry.

This was a tradition they had when it rained, seeing how fast one boat could go in the pouring rain. Georgie liked that even though Bill was sick, he was still gonna let him play. It wouldn’t be the same without him, but they both agreed that tradition was important. They couldn’t miss an opportunity.

“S-she’s all ready, Captain,” Bill said, coughing a little. Georgie nodded vibrantly and took the boat in his hands. Slightly sticky to the touch, he knew how much work his big brother put into it and made sure he handled ‘her’ carefully.

“D-don’t forget your g-galoshes,” Bill reminded as Georgie nearly raced out the door. “M-mom will k-kill you.”

Georgie made a face but nodded once more. When he ran down the stairs to the mudroom, he pulled on the dark green boots that chafed against his ankles.

He ran outside and Georgie turned, waving up to Bill’s window, showing off how well the boat was maintaining its structure in the downpour. Bill waved back at him, so he took that as his signal to start his boat’s journey. The static hum of the walkie-talkie in Georgie’s pocket made him smile, knowing Bill was sorta there with him.

“Be careful.” His brother’s voice crackled and Georgie was off. He placed the boat down near the street curb, watching with glee as it raced down the road following the direction of the water flow.

He tried being careful, he really did, but it was too easy for him to get distracted. Georgie wasn’t too surprised when he smacked into the orange sign, coincidentally at the perfect height to hit his head on. He didn’t want to lose the boat so he tried to keep up, but he cried out in horror as it fell down the sewer drain.

“Bill’s gonna kill me,” He moaned, disappointed in himself. He kneeled down and tried to see if it had caught on something. But instead of seeing the boat, he saw a kid.

Georgie yelped and fell backward, landing on his butt. Even to a little kid like himself, it was a little odd to see someone in a storm drain. The kid in the drain smiled meekly, holding up Georgie’s boat. He had brown hair, that was wet and flat due to the rain. His outfit consisted of a vest with a flannel underneath and a pair of jeans from what Georgie could see, but it was dark in the drain.

“Hey, Georgie, is it?” He asked, looking down at the paper boat. A drop of water landed on the ‘S. S. Georgie’ Bill had written on it, smearing the ink a bit.

Georgie nodded slowly, a little thrown off by his question but answered anyway. “Yeah, that’s me!”

The kid smiled. “Hey, I’m Will Byers. Nice to meet you.”

Georgie smiled back at him. “How did you get in there?” He asked, “Are you stuck?”

Will nodded solemnly, before his expression changed. If people got lightbulbs over their heads like in the cartoons, there would’ve been one above Will’s head. “If you help me out, I can give you your boat back! How does that sound? You can help a new pal out.”

The small Denbrough contemplated it for a second, before agreeing.

Will grinned. “Grab my hand.” He spoke, reaching his hand upwards towards the opening in the drain.

As Georgie reached down, Will’s face changed drastically. It contorted into something sinister, multiple rows of teeth baring in a mere instant.

His scream of agony could be heard all the way down the road but by the time anyone had checked, Georgie Denbrough was gone. The only evidence of that he was ever there was red water slowly flowing into the storm drain.

But no adult nearby saw it.

Will woke up with what he thought was the start of a migraine after the worst nightmare he’d ever experienced. A goddamn clown accosted him when he was just trying to get home. He just wanted to eat Jonathan’s breakfast and see his friends at school. He wanted to hug his mom and have her tell him the nightmare clown couldn’t get to him again until he believed her.

But instead of smelling pancakes and nearly burnt eggs, all it smelled like was like stagnant water and blood.

Will’s eyes snapped open, and all he saw was gray. He pushed up onto his palms and looked around.

He wasn’t in his room, safe in his bed under the covers and dry. Instead, he was in a wide, circular room covered in trash, soaking wet. How long was he asleep? Did he get knocked out?

Something dripped on his shoulder, and he looked up to see a trash pile that nearly skirted the tall ceiling. But more astonishingly, bodies floated. They floated around the room like limp rag dolls that Mike’s sister Holly played with. And they were all upside down.

A sound of squelching caused Will to look to his right, only to come face to face with the same clown that he saw on the street.

As if it wasn’t terrifying before, its clown face was now smothered in blood. It grinned, and the crimson-stained teeth looked even sharper than he remembered.

In its long, twisted fingers, it held an arm with a chunk taken out of it. In that quick glance, he could see blood and muscles and bone.

Will screamed and scrambled backward, a sharp pain in his side as his heart nearly beat out of his chest. How was this real? How was none of that a dream?

No. This is still a dream. This isn’t real, Will focused on convincing himself. He scrunched his eyes shut and dug his nails into his palms.

“Not real, Willie?” The clown’s scratchy voice said, sounding so close. But he refused to open his eyes. “Do you want to see a dream?”

He screamed and his eyes flung open. The clown grabbed him by the throat and leaned in close. Its breath was rancid like the trash that littered around them. It drooled blood and saliva all over him as he squirmed in a vain attempt to escape the clown’s death grip on him.

“I’ll show you a goddamn nightmare.”

so YEAH

i hope you guys liked that as we’d love to write a part dos

let us know how y’all feel about it!

masterlist

ask to be on taglist/feedback!

thank you so so much for reading <3

[aion-rsa]

Coming 2 America: How Wesley Snipes Got Into Rhythm with Eddie Murphy

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Eddie Murphy’s Prince Akeem left his prospective queen to go to America in Coming to America. And he didn’t even have the good grace to leave her at the altar either. Rather she was dismissed while still barking like a dog (under the prince’s orders). The princess and her brother, General Izzi (Wesley Snipes) never forgot. And in Coming 2 America, he’s prepared to go to war over it.

Snipes may be most beloved to certain audiences as the half-vampire martial arts master in the Blade superhero movies. But his comic chops are supernatural. From 1989’s Major League through White Men Can’t Jump, and To Wong Foo, and Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, his choices are fearless and his timing is fierce.

This coalesced in his impatiently poignant turn as D’Urville Martin, who directed Murphy’s Rudy Ray Moore in the film within the film Dolemite is My Name. The pair are at odds again in Coming 2 America. Wesley Snipes talked with Den of Geek about revisiting an iconic classic comedy, and the art of cinematic challenges, from the superhero variety to his all-time classic work in gangster cinema like New Jack City.

Den of Geek: I have been a fan since your character Willie Mays Hayes in Major League, and you stole that movie like it was second base.

Wesley Snipes: How did it go, “Play like Mays, but run like Hayes?”

And you were definitely MVP on Dolemite. Is it easier to capture that “cinemagical” reality when you’re working back-to-back on two films with the same actor, like you’ve now done with Eddie Murphy?

Yeah. It makes it a lot easier. It makes it a lot easier. You begin to harmonize with the rhythms and the style, and you get a little more comfortable after the first one. So you get to create more and expand on that creativity, have a lot of fun with it and then also push the envelope of your skills and see where you’re at.

Does the give-and-take become like a sport?

An art is the expression of the art. I would say that the competition is with yourself, the mastery of the skills, like as a martial artist or as an archer. It transcends just the other person. It’s about your relationship with the art form itself and what you find in that mirror, right? And it just so happens, when it works well, you’re in the company of others who are also doing the same thing.

So how did you first meet Eddie and how did you get involved in Coming 2 America? Were you a fan of the original film?

Yeah, I had this girlfriend and everything was going well. And then, Eddie Murphy did a movie. I was in a restaurant one day and I went to the bathroom, came back and my girl was sitting there at Eddie Murphy’s table. Yeah, that was pretty much how we met. The whole internet was like, “Eddie Murphy stole Wesley Snipes’ girlfriend!” It’s not true. It’s a joke. It is a joke, it’s not true.

No actually, we know each other from New York. And during those days also Def Jam was big, big. A lot of musicians had restaurants and little spots and cafes, lounges. I think we met first in one of the lounges. I actually think I met Charlie first before I met Eddie. Yeah, in a club in New York.

What was the key to General Izzi? And where did you get your royal gait for that film?

I think the key to General Izzi is his rhythm, his sense of rhythm. He, like the animals, moves with rhythm and tries to blend in with the rhythms of energy, rhythms of life. And then that embodies that shapes how he talks and how he sees himself. It was grand and beautiful, like a peacock with rhythm, a dancing peacock.

Were you tempted to ask about playing any of the extreme makeup characters that Eddie and Arsenio do?

Wow. I would love to do something like this… Oh man, yeah, throw me in. I’d be another guy. Somebody else in a barber shop and [I’d] do two of them. Definitely. I’d love to do it with an accent too. Like, I do something in French, but everything I’m saying is complete gibberish. [Does a faux French run]. Stuff like that, and he was like, “He didn’t say shit!”

I also cover What We Do in the Shadows. When you appeared, you did it via video chat. Were you warning us about social distancing?

I was, I was. As frustrated as he was, yes. You caught that. Very good. It worked. I told you, I tell you there’s a virus out there. I told you!

You said in the past that you’re flattered Mahershala Ali is carrying on the role of Blade. Have you talked to him at all about taking on the role?

No, he hasn’t called me. We haven’t talked about characterizations or how he should play it or anything like that. I can’t imagine that call ever coming in. That would be really strange. But we did communicate about how much we appreciate each other’s work, and how I’m comfortable with saying, ‘Hey man, go rock it, baby. If you got it, do it.’ It ain’t gonna be easy. There’s a whole lot of it that you don’t know [with] them action movies. Everybody ain’t cut like that. They ain’t made for it. But if you got it, let’s go. I got your back 1,000 percent. Let’s go.”

You had a vision for a Black Panther movie back in the way, which at some point included Mario Van Peebles and John Singleton. 

As writers, yeah. They were considered the two of the directors that were considered. Yeah.

Did you find a similar feel in Ryan Coogler’s film to what you saw in your head?

My initial idea was closer to Ryan Coogler’s expression. Yes. That was the idea because that’s what’s closest to the comic book and the idea of using vibranium for extra non-invasive operations, surgeries. This was all written in the original comics, a society that was cloaked and was a high society, highly technical. It had a nice balance between technology and nature. Oh, man, that was the vision, but we had no Pixar. We had no Pentiums. We had none of that in those days.

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I want to ask a question for myself. New Jack City is in my top 10 movies of all time.

Straight gangster, straight gangster.

Nino Brown to me is very much like Humphrey Bogart’s Baby Face Martin in Dead End. What do you pick up from the old classic actors that you still use in your on screen performances?

Oh yeah, man. It’s the body language. It’s the relationship with the camera. Their understanding of how to turn, how to position themselves. How to stand a certain way and deliver the line in a way that wasn’t awkward because the posture is cinematic, it’s photographic, cinemalogical, as they would say.

But it was straight gangster, straight gangster, and also how they would act and do action in character. They would play the characters and play the action like the character, not as an actor doing an action scene now. Yeah.

Are there any more superhero movies or franchises in your future that you’re looking at?

We hope so. Of course we’ve developed some wonderful things internally with Mondi House. I think you recall my book Talon of God is kind of cinematic, set as a cinematic horror film, action film. And that’s something that we’re looking to put into production as well. So whether we work with Marvel or we want to work with the Marvelettes, we’ll be ready in a way.

I see you as an actor who has special relationships with directors. You’ve done multiple films with Spike Lee from the earliest films to Chi-Raq. What directors challenge you in the best ways?

The ones who have a real appreciation for the craft and a good sense of story. Appreciation for the craft [means] preparation, sensitivity around what it takes to craft a great character, and to pull off a great performance that’s like The Godfather [movies] of the world. Not all of the directors have this, not all of them even care.

And then those who have a good sense of story and narrative that can help find authenticity or keep continuity with the rules that have been set, even if it’s action. Once you set the rules and you tell the audience, “These are the rules,” then you stick to them. And the best of the ones I’ve worked with know how to do that very well.

Coming 2 America will hit Amazon Prime Video on March 5.

The post Coming 2 America: How Wesley Snipes Got Into Rhythm with Eddie Murphy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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