#trials and tribulations of posts getting popular

[blackberry-jam]

Do you ever read someone’s tags on your post and you’re like get out of my house dude

[lifebloa]

BİT-LİFE-UNBLOCKED - DEVASA+

This blog post will explore how to access BitLife without limitations, whether you're at school, work, or anywhere else! We’ll dive into the thrilling mechanics of BitLife play, showcasing the depth of decision-making and creativity it offers. Plus, we’ll discuss the broader world of unblocked games, making it easier for you to enjoy your favorite titles wherever you are. Get ready to embark on a journey filled with life choices, challenges, and endless fun!

Bitlife Unblocked

When it comes to navigating the world of online gaming, few titles have captivated players quite like BitLife, a life simulation game where players can make choices that shape the course of their virtual life, and now with the availability of bitlife unblocked, enthusiasts can dive into this engaging experience without the hindrance of access restrictions typically imposed by schools or workplaces.

Through the unblocked version, found at https://bit-life-unblocked.github.io, players can seamlessly engage in the bitlife play experience, which encompasses exploring endless scenarios ranging from career choices to relationship decisions, thereby allowing players to live out any life they desire without the typical barriers that often come with traditional gaming setups.

By discovering other unblocked games that are similar in nature, one can enrich their gaming library and ensure that the fun does not end with BitLife, all while enjoying the freedom to play from any location, making the decision to indulge in the world of bitlife unblocked one that every aspiring virtual life simulator should consider.

Bitlife Play

When it comes to enjoying a virtual life simulation, one cannot overlook the appeal of bitlife play, a game that allows players to navigate through various life choices and experiences, making it not just entertaining but also thought-provoking, as each decision shapes the character's destiny in unexpected ways.

For those seeking to indulge in an uninterrupted gaming experience, bitlife unblocked is an excellent choice, as it provides access to the game without the restrictions that often come with traditional gaming platforms, making it accessible to anyone looking to have fun during breaks or while on a different site.

Additionally, fans of browser-based entertainment are often on the lookout for unblocked games to enjoy during their downtime at school or work, and that's where features of https://bit-life-unblocked.github.io come into play, facilitating easy access to bitlife play without any hassles, ensuring that the joy of living a digital life is merely a click away

Unblocked Games

In the ever-evolving landscape of online gaming, unblocked games have garnered immense popularity among players seeking a break from their mundane routines, providing an enticing escape into the realms of fun and creativity.

Among the various options available, BitLife play stands out as a game that allows users to simulate the trials and tribulations of life decisions, engaging them in a unique way that encourages reflection on their own real-life choices and paths.

For those looking to indulge in their gaming passion during breaks or at school, the site https://bit-life-unblocked.github.io offers a reliable platform where you can seamlessly access and enjoy BitLife unblocked, ensuring that you can explore this captivating life simul

[luigra]

Why the nuke ending was good and important for the story, and why it was NOT retconned: an important essay

So, I& assume that most people here have only really watched DSMP through Tommy's POV. Maybe a few other of the most popular POVs. Even more people have just... straight up never watched the actual streams and got all their info off of social media. I& get it, I& can't blame you. But because of that you all have missed out on the absolutely crucial reasoning for why the nuke ending needed to be Like That.

I& will try to sum up Jack Manifold's lore here real quick, but I& can't ever do it justice in a text post, so I& implore you all to watch at least one or two of his lore streams, preferably the one in which he exploded the hotel and his POV of the finale, those are the two best ones lore-wise, and he re-explains his motivations quite frequently.

The biggest thing with his character is that he has always been forgotten about. Treated as a side character to the "main protagonist". He was never noticed, his three deaths were completely ignored, and no matter what he would do, people would always look past him to focus on whatever the big plot was. In his own words, he tried to kill Tommy and he didn't even care.

As the result of this mistreatment, literally having everything taken away from him - his home, his friends, his lives - he tries to find the root of it all, and comes to the conclusion that Tommy is to blame for it all, because he was his friend once but is now the cause of the server fighting all the time.

All of this is to say, he is an important narrative foil to Tommy - where Tommy struggles with just wanting to move past Exile and his trauma, Jack instead clings to everything that hurt him and just wishes to be noticed. He wants his pain to be acknowledged, and in doing so he spirals further and further into self destruction. He burns down Manifoldland. He blows up the hotel.

And finally, he blows up the world.

It was his desperate cry to be seen, a natural conclusion to his mental issues that everybody just ignored. But now, they couldn't ignore him anymore. They physically COULDN'T. And THAT, is why the ending is so brilliant. Because throughout all the trials and tribulations, Jack finally gets what he always wanted. He finally gets to kill Tommy the way he wanted to kill him, and at last, nobody can ignore him, this forgotten and abandoned kid that just tries to make things right, Jack Manifold.

BUT HE ISN'T ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT TOMMY DYING. IN HIS LAST MINUTE, HE REALIZES THAT HE'S BEEN MISGUIDED ALL ALONG AND WITH TUBBO'S HELP HE REALIZES THAT ALL HE REALLY WANTED WAS FOR HIS FRIENDS TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HIM AGAIN.

SO HE TRIES TO SAVE HIS FRIEND AND LITERALLY GOES INTO LAVA TO TRY AND REACH HIM (THE SAME LAVA THAT TOMMY THREW HIM IN AND KILLED HIM WITH)

BUT IT'S TOO LATE.

IT'S PURE FUCKING CINEMA.

IT'S THE MOST TRAGIC ENDING EVER. IT'S THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY TO HAVE ENDED THE SERIES, WITH AN UNDERDOG WHOM EVERYBODY IGNORED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, FINALLY GETTING HIS LAST SPOTLIGHT. FINALLY HAVING A SMIDGE OF HOPE THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE MIGHT CARE ABOUT HIM IF HE JUST TRIES AGAIN.

So what does that mean for the latest new stream? It means that Jack finally got his closure and got to talk to Tommy. And he learnt how to move on. He doesn't center his life around him anymore.

But he does wish for Tommy to be happy. Even if he himself can't, even if he's still stuck gambling and addicted and all alone with no one by his side, he finally moved on from Tommy. He finally planted Manishroom in the ruins of his burnt down house.

And the fact of the matter is, this has been streamed from Jack's POV. And now, this is his story. Let him have this. The fact that his actions left an impact is important.

Let us, the manifolders, have this. Please. The nuke ending was never about Tommy or Dream or whatever. It was always about Jack.

[heareriissmau]

❧ ❝pseudo alliance❞

mha kacchako!smau

disclaimer: if you don't like kacchako step away. this smau is only for fun. also this is gonna be filled with a lot of curses or expletives because bakugo.

genre: comedy, romance, slow burn, crack, tooth-rotting fluff summary: After the big war of today's generation, the popularity of Class 2A skyrocketed even before their debut as Pro-Heroes. Which comes with a price. The most popular students in class are getting way too much attention to the extent of being stalked. So, the students brainstormed ideas on how put a halt on these harrassments. Or; Class 2A opts for Bakugo and Uraraka to fake date to get rid of each other's strange fans. ship: Bakugo Katsuki x Uraraka Ochako (My Hero Academia)

setting in canon: post-war (spoilers included), and Deku has already grown out his hair because i'm having none of that half shave oh my god. obviously inspired by ch427 when todobaku were running away from the fangirls.

katsuki would never say that but i needed a divider so deal with it.

⸻ navigation:

ochako's friends | katsuki's friends

part 1: heart of the problem part 2: dealth with ordeals part 3: said epiphany part 4: mina's proposition part 5: tsuyu's intervention 1 part 6: tsuyu's intervention 2 part 7: get a ball rolling part 8: izuku's invitation part 9: trials and tribulations part 10: patience wasn't the key (with text) part 11: acknowledgement part 12: set the stage part 13: warming up part 14: class 2a's gimmick part 15: kyouka's shots part 16: a natural routine part 17: figured it out 1 part 18: figured it out 2 part 19: part 20: part 21: part 22: part 23: part 24: part 25: tba

reply if you wanna be in my taglist! ⚝

[lucozadehulahoop]

A Question of Time (Astarion x f!reader/tav) part 3/?

Chapter summary: Astarion makes his choice, but his actions don't go unnoticed. Call it divine intervention.

A.N: Big thank you for the massive love on this! I've only been posting this fic for three days and the response has been overwhelming! I appreciate every single comment and it really keeps me motivated. The tag list will be posted below the cut because it's getting a bit long ahh.

Tags and T.W.:pre-bg3!Astarion, slave!Astarion, mentions of torture and abuse, demi-goddess!tav, eventual NSFW (minors stay away kindly, thank you darlings)

warning for this chapter: seggsual sention (eh more just dorks being dorks)

part 1 part 2 part 4

"Astarion, favored soul, I send you my own flesh and blood to remove you from harm, yet you do not take your chance to flee..." An ethereal voice sang to Astarion as he tried to make sense of his own surroundings.

Slowly he began to recognize the cemetery, the tombstones, his own grave... how had he ended up back there?

The moon shined brightly down on him, and slowly the origin of that voice materialized itself right in front of him.

Astarion may have not been a believer, but he could recognize a goddess when he saw one. Much like in her many popular depictions, Sehanine wore what resembled a black silk gown, the very fabric that created the shadows she was a patron of. Her hair was black and white, her skin deep blue like the ocean, and her eyes the shape of twin moons. Many were the elves who worshiped 'the Moonweaver ' dutifully.

Sehanine was also the only diety criminals and tricksters seemed to cling to. A favor from the patron of illusions and misdirection could make the difference between the success or failure of a deed carried out under the cover of night.

But she was not only the goddess those who worked in secrecy and trickery often asked for a blessing from. Love was the biggest blessing tied to her name, and many cursed her for being the protector of lovers who steeled away for a tryst in the night.

"Do not be afraid, Pale One." She smiled at him eerily. "I appear to you now to give you guidance. I am sure by now you recognize me, even though on this plane I have come to be known to many as Selùne in these times, but you have been alive since the days of the old creed..."

"Y-yes--" Astarion stammered, never once having thought he'd be entertaining a conversation with a diety.

"I know you have not once believed in anything that was not material, and I am not here to test your faith, little vampire. I have been guiding your journey through this world ever since you began to display all of those qualities that are so dear to me... the Moon has been your close ally in all of your deeds..." The goddess proclaimed. "I look out for my own, but now... you go against my design to deliver you from your wretched master. Why is it so?"

It was quite a hefty amount of information to take in all at once. Not to mention preposterous. Guidance? Protection? If Astarion had been so favored by the gods, why in the seven hells had he been crushed underneath Cazador's heel for two hundred years?

The anger didn't take long to boil up inside of him. "No. No, forgive me, your holiness, but there has to be some kind of mistake here." Astarion sneered. "I think you've got the wrong Astarion, because this one has been attacked by the Gur, turned into a vampire, and subjected to two centuries of torture at the hands of a maniac!"

Sehanine smiled down at him once more, almost as if Astarion's lament was something to be amused by. "It is not up to me to explain the trials and tribulations of mortal life, dear one... If I directly interfered with the lives of every being I wished to influence in a constant manner, then other gods would want the same and war would surely break out amongst us. I would not come to you if I did not fear great peril on the horizon. Your Master, Cazador Szaar, has joined a league with dark, dangerous forces... forces that are enemies to myself and other entities that keep the balance between good and-"

Astarion scoffed. "I fail to see, how any of this is my concern."

The goddess's eyes became pitch black and her form started to warp into something far more sinister. "Count yourself lucky I consider your quick wit as a quality, but do not make the mistake of disrespecting me again, vampire spawn." She threatened in a booming voice. "You will be turned into a sacrificial lamb to your Master's ascension to near-godliness if you do not flee now, underneath my daughter's protection."

Astarion was silent for a very long while. In fact, he could not tell how much time had passed before she finally spoke again, her voice once again gentle.

"I will not have one of my own be involved in this abomination of a rite. In fact, I will make sure Tav stops this event from coming to pass so that she may meet her destiny."

Astarion couldn't stop himself from speaking his mind once again, even at the cost of being punished by the divine. "Meet her destiny? Surely... surely you must know how powerful Cazador is. I mean, I've seen what your darling daughter can do, but she doesn't seem to have a single mean bone in her body and you might risk losing her-"

"Tav must die for Cazador and the rest of the evil he's created to be eradicated for good." Was the goddess's simply put answer.

"But... she's your daughter." Astarion failed to understand until it finally clicked in his head. "You---you set her up like a lamb for slaughter. This is why she couldn't keep away from me? Because you made her come to my rescue every time? And now she's... Hells, she's getting rid of Cazador for you and dying in the process because you can't look bad in front of your god pals? What happened to looking out for your own?"

"I may have brought her into this world, but she is not one of my own." The Moonweaver clarified." Too sweet, too good-natured. The only thing I can truly recognize is her beauty. But no, I have not spoken to her, ever. I thought it best she did not know the pain of who she truly is, nor how she will meet her end. I simply know how and when it will come to pass. Yet, it was quite surprising to see how deeply attuned to your pain she is... and in the grand scheme of things it drew her like a moth to a flame, right into Cazador's grasp..."

Astarion began to feel violently ill, and he couldn't understand why. "Wait, what do you mean, what are you talking about---"

"Oh hush now, don't tell me you care for her? I would find that hard to believe..." She grinned, her very nature compelled to be intrigued by displays of affection, especially when they bloomed in the most unlikely of circumstances."However, I must go now, little vampling. But do not worry, Tav will be remembered, I will personally make sure to immortalize her in the stars for her valiant sacrifice."

"No!" Astarion cried out as he thrashed on the floor, suddenly regaining consciousness underneath Tav's tear-brimmed eyes.

She had been trying desperately to bring the pale elf back to consciousness after he'd dropped to the ground unexpectedly, his red eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body wracked by convulsions.

"Astarion!" She shook him a little more for good measure. "Astarion stay with me!" Tav let out a little sob, never having come across a physical ailment she hadn't been able to cure.

"Hells below..." Astarion cursed, slowly managing to sit up as he caught up with what had just happened.

Tav was quite a sight for a creature who hardly ever seemed to be affected by anything. Tear-stained cheeks, her hands twisting in the fabric of her dress. Astarion couldn't recall the last time someone had ever displayed worry over him. And now that he knew the truth about so many things, he didn't deem himself worthy of it. "Cheer up, sweet, I'm alright." He couldn't help but say, pinching her nose softly between his curled fingers.

"Alright?!" Tav barked at him, huffing and shooing his hand away. "You dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes and then you started convulsing!" She accused as if Astarion had done so on purpose. "You were completely unresponsive for almost half of an hour! How often does this happen for you to think it's alright?"

Astarion could think of a million things to say. A close encounter with Tav's dear old mom being the explanation at the forefront of his mind. But the implications of that conversation having undeniably taken place (considering it hadn't been just some weird dream as he'd liked to have hoped) were too painful to consider. He should have been thinking about the fact that Cazador planned to sacrifice him. He should have been burning with rage at the mere thought of his death aiding his captor on the path to becoming god-like.

Instead, all he could do was laugh, enjoying the way it riled up Tav even more. "Like a what? Darling, I must say my likeliness has been compared to many things in my lifetime, but a sack of potatoes has certainly never made the list..."

"Oh well, then may I suggest that 'obtuse ass' also be included?" She retorted, getting in his face as she was completely unamused by the way he was belittling her concern.

"Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the shape of my backside?" Astarion tilted his head closer too, meaning to snap back at Tav, but instantly realizing his words had come out quite a bit softer than intended.

"I-I don't see how that's relevant..." Tav whispered, mimicking his tone as her pupils turned into the size of saucers.

"You're the one who brought it up..." Astarion shrugged, as he had a very private laugh within himself at Tav's expense. She was so gullible, he could have eaten her up.

"No! You have misunderstood me. Please, I apologize if I have made you feel--" Tav was in the middle of expressing a sincere apology when she realized Astarion could no longer contain the amusement he was having at her expense. "You are despicable!" She huffed, doing a poor attempt at shoving at his chest before getting herself back up on her feet.

Astarion chose to admire her a few seconds more from where he was sitting on the ground. "Now that, my darling... is something I've definitely been called before."

Tav crossed her arms over her chest as she adamantly checked on his capability to stand back up on his feet again. "How will you know it won't happen again?" She asked him seriously, referring to the episode that had just transpired.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'll get called 'despicable' again for days to come." Astarion attempted to avoid the question.

"I meant you fainting!" Tav insisted.

"I've... got a pretty good idea of what I need to do to stop it from happening again." Running away from this hellhole, and leaving you here none the wiser, so I don't get any more friendly reminders from your mother, Astarion thought to himself as he swallowed down a knot in his throat. He looked out the window and recognized the familiar hues of light. The day was coming and he wasn't going to be able to leave until it was over.

Astarion needed to get his affairs in order and rest. Staying simply wasn't an option.

Not to mention, he was practically starving.

His gaze began to linger extensively on Tav as she stared into the fireplace.

"You've been up all night, darling---" Astarion snapped out of his reverie and began to fret as he started closing all the window panes, making sure not a single ray of light would be able to break through. "Surely, surely it would be good for you to get some rest, no? In your room that is --- far, far away from me, I mean- I have tasks to do now. Servants are terribly, terribly busy people, you see---" He continued to ramble as he not so subtly nudged Tav out of his room, guiding her to the door. "I must get to my work-"

"But you are clearly unwell! You're the one who must rest, Astarion. You're even paler than usual-" Tav protested, turning into his arms to look up at him in defiance once more.

"May the gods help me -- no, actually let's leave them out of this -- must you stick your pretty little nose in everything I do? I can take care of myself and I'm not the helpless little critter you seem to think you've stumbled upon-" Astarion had intended on pushing Tav out of the room, but all he was doing in actuality was bringing her closer to his body.

"Well, you've certainly given me plenty of proof on that front haven't you?" Tav spat and twisted her hands in his worn-out shirt.

Just like that, they were back to arguing again, except this time it wasn't amusing for either of them.

"Proof? Is that what you want?" Astarion asked her, losing his last nerve to hunger and exhaustion.

The curtain fell, and Tav looked back into the face of a vampire.

---

A.N: hehe, oh how I like to tease you so. Okay real talk, this is now an ongoing fic. Truly, you guys have given me so much love, and I'm overwhelmed. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I thank you all for joining the ride. stay tuned for part 4!

This story is also on Ao3 btw, for the people who prefer reading it there.

tag list (if you want to be added to the tag list, just let me know!): @d0nutkaky0in @i-just-want-to-sleep-97 @omggiannarosa @dead-giirl-walking @warbwarts @mrsfullbuster500 @uwomina @iyaesakura @cheeslyy @dragon-kazansky @bambamwolf87 @chibi-chi @orsomethingelseentirely @davenswitcher @adequate-superstar @ophelias-flowerss @tragedybunny @yaimlight @the-golden-ouroboros @candyladycry @babygirlbrainrot @mariposakitten @blobs-away @biganddrunkunicorn @astarionmisc @the-garbage-central @raviolixxx

[imacowboy3]

Headcanon that every angel has a demon who's their soulmate (romantic or platonic)

That one being they can trust and be themselves with, someone who can be their safety net and help them break their conditioning from their respective sides (I'll make a post with more on the conditioning later)

Till now we've seen:

Aziraphale has Crowley

Gabriel has Beelzebub

And there's been some speculation and shipping of:

Muriel and Eric

Michael and Dagon

(I only mentioned shipping cause those seem to be popular as romantic pairings but they could also easily be read as platonic!)

Now going to my point: I have this headcanon that metatron is just taking advantage of the systemic problems of heaven and spewing more and more bullshit to the angels to manipulate them into doing "what God wants" and has taken over by this point (mind you he is not necessarily THE problem of heaven, he's more of a representation of what is wrong with the system as a whole while also representing real people who are in positions of power and take advantage of a broken system to meet their own interests).

Now what if God,knowing that would happen, decided to pair the angels and then made half of them fall so that they'd have different points of view? Which yes is cruel and again a representation that God is kinda fucked up and so is her system and you might ask why do that? Why make all of them go through all this suffering to learn a lesson that wouldn't even be necessary in the first place if only she hadn't created the very problem the lesson was about?and my answer to that is: go read any passage of the Bible, that's just how God is,with all of her trials and tribulations...

But anyways, back on track: since they'd be fighting they would need a middle ground that didn't belong to either side (earth) and as they'd compete for human souls they'd end up meeting their soulmates and together they'd hopefully get closer to the humans and would start a process of deprogramming (I'll dive more into it on the conditioning post), cause that's pretty much what's happening with Zira and Crowley, is what happened with Gabe and Bee, they met their soulmate and started learning to enjoy life outside the feud between heaven and hell,they started learning that there's nothing wrong with just being happy and finding out who they want to be outside the limitations of their sides

So yeah

God knew shit would go down because she designed it to happen and decided to pair them all up to have some support on their journeys

[stalkedbytrains]

Eldritch Tech Support: The Algorithm of Chaos is worth reading

This is a novella that is made up of the prompts that I wrote over the last year or so. The main novella is 16 chapters of Aeth (they/them, gender non conforming, tech support, magic user, priest with no god) dealing with the trials and tribulations of helping out with the technological problems of: Spider Gods, a perfectly normal family with a normal computer and a normal house with a small god inside, their impossible belief and childhood nightmare that wishes to consume them, and a crush on their bestest friend. Lyta (she/her, also tech support, has magic based on emotions and virtue which is a surprise for you later on) who is dealing with much the same things including a big ol crush on their bestest friend Aeth.

Throughout the story those two will have to deal with the usual nonsense of their jobs as well as the mysterious new app Swwarm that seems to be everywhere and is designed solely with the algorithm in mind that thinks all engagement is good engagement even if you report a video for inciting violence. You interacted with it so you must want more of it. Where did the Swwarm come from, and what is it for, why is it doing the things that it is doing?

What Do You Get Out of this Novella?

The Algorithm of Chaos is 16 chapters long, expanded and edited from the ones that I posted before. There are two bonus stories that I have not posted anywhere else: an epilogue to the main story, and a side story about Ji the Exterminator and Lyta's ex-girlfriend. The epilogue was an excuse for me to write some Aeth and Lyta because I like them. And the story Ghostchains is about the Exterminator Ji who is terrible and I couldn't stop thinking about them and wanted to see what they were like out in the world of The Dead Lands fighting a summoned "artificial" "intelligence".

You also get the original prompts that started the whole thing, edited and made a bit more coherent. The whole thing is about 119 pages long and is available as a PDF download for you to do whatever you want with.

Here is where you can buy it on kofi for $1 or whatever you want

Here is where you can buy it for free on itch.io or whatever you want

My only request is that if you do get it for free (hell yeah get those free things) is that you reblog this with a little one sentence (or more) review. I'm not really big or popular enough to have marketing or influence or anything, so any reblogs and comments and reviews will be great! Please and thank you!

Thanks for reading all of this and I hope you enjoy my novella!

[applejongho]

2023 has come to a close so that means it's time for my year in review! i've been a gif maker on tumblr for more than two years now and this account keeps growing and getting so much love. im so grateful for all of my (jong)homies and mutuals that have let me get to this point and have fun along with it. like, i hit 1k and 2k followers in the same year! thats fucking rad!

i giffed a lot more this year than last and i think it's because i was finally able to get ps and vapoursynth near the end of 2022. my confidence soared as a result. not to get mushy, but this year on tumblr has been amazing because of that. :( this was the first full year i felt like a "real" and "competent" gif maker because i finally was using the tools that everyone else was using and i knew how to use them. thats a big thing for me, because for so long i struggled with figuring out how to download vs (and ps) (on mac btw) and i felt jealous that everyone else could do it so "easily." ps and vs are also really unintuitive if you dont know what youre doing so to basically brute force my way to success is something i want to pat myself on the back for. i did this. im insane. and now ive been properly expressing my insanity via gifs for over a year now that ive been so proud of! yippie!!!! as a result of my Trials and Tribulations, ive been thinking about creating tutorials for how to download ps, vs, and how to properly use ps to make gifs for those that dont even know where to begin now that i am a Seasoned user. bc i fucking get it. let me lend a hand.

but anyway.

some highights of this year that are worth mentioning:

i hit 1k followers in january! heres my 1k followers event posts

i hit 2k followers (!!!!!) in november!!!!!! heres my 2k followers event posts (so far)

i dabbled in combining ateez x (usually) alt/metal/rock songs now that i am a Confident and Certified Alternative Lady. here are those gif sets

still insane for jongho. also happy one year to biasing hongjoong. also happy almost three years of being an atiny.

i learned some new coloring tricks. i learned some new sharpening tricks. slayage all around!

below the cut are my most popular and my personal fav posts from each month this year as well as the total number of gif posts made each month!

tagging mutuals to view and to also do their own 2023 year in review (only if u want! absolutely no pressure ❤️): @yunwooz @hwanswerland @miinsang @booskwan @wifehwa

JANUARY

most popular: hongjoong doing a handstand

my favorite: short hair jjongie comp set

total posts made: 39

--

FEBRUARY

most popular: guerrilla era hong comp set

my favorite: also guerrilla era hong comp set!

total posts made: 13

--

MARCH

most popular: cruella hair hong comp set

my favorite: red hair jjongie

total posts made: 23

--

APRIL

most popular: driver yunho

my favorite: gorgeous brown-red long hair jjongie just standing there

total posts made: 31

--

MAY

most popular: barefaced ot8 (top post of the year!)

my favorite: gorgeous brown-red long hair jjongie pt 2

total posts made: 35

--

JUNE

most popular: hong says fuck

my favorite: sparkly jjong

total posts made: 37

--

JULY

most popular: bouncy relay dance ot8

my favorite: guerrilla one year anniversary post

total posts made: 32

--

AUGUST

most popular: thanxx woo

my favorite: hala hala jjong

total posts made: 19

--

SEPTEMBER

most popular: gorgeous blond hong

my favorite: dune yeo

total posts made: 22

--

JJONGTOBER

most popular: one day at a time san

my favorite: jjong according to the tags birthday post!

total posts made: 12

--

HONGVEMBER

most popular: hong according to the tags birthday post!

my favorite: also hong according to the tags birthday post!

total posts made: 10

--

DECEMBER

most popular: hong smirking and giggling

my favorite: halazia yeo comp set

total posts made: 20

--

i hope that 2024 brings a lot of new opportunities for me. i'll be graduating from uni in this spring and will hopefully obtain a Big Girl Job. thanks for sticking with me, jonghomies. have a happy new year!

-- anne 🍎🐻

[vacantgodling]

i’m just gonna make this bullet points bc i’ve not the time to be eloquent

the thesis of what i saw was “suffering isn’t character development because after a point it’s gratuitous, boring, and if they’re constantly tortured what are they developing from”

and as someone who isn’t particularly a fan of what most people nowadays call this (whump) ig, here’s me weighing in on the war on whump in favor of it in its theoretical form:

people can do whatever they want forever. even if it’s shit you don’t like. someone writing gratuitous, “boring”, overdone torture porn is not affecting you and your life. there is no need for “concern” as the post said. most people who write this shit are just people. even if they do have something that makes them act or feel things in a certain way that doesn’t mean you can or should deprive them of the joy that’s making art in any of its forms; whimsical or horrific, whether you like it or not.

as someone who again, doesn’t like it particularly either, i am once again tapping the sign that i keep having to drag out anytime i see shit like this: preferences aren’t advice. they are preferences. unless you are seeking to help the person do what they’re trying to accomplish your input is invalid. i bring up that i don’t like it because listen i can tell these thoughts were said as a knee jerk reaction to seeing shit you don’t like. and i get it, i feel the same way but

disengage with shit you don’t like. don’t hate watch or hate read anything. don’t be daft.

stop the assumption that character development is always positive. negative character development also exists and is common in day to day life. people are shaped by the experiences they have. they cannot develop from anything if there are no experiences to warrant the developing. saying that “suffering isn’t character development” is like me saying that consequences for driving 100 miles an hour into oncoming traffic don’t exist. they do.

i understand wanting levity. i don’t like whump solely because i can’t sit through endless suffering. but that doesn’t mean i think there isn’t character development. if a character goes through strife and trials and tribulations that changes them. usually for worse in this scenario. that’s. still. development. like the argument you have doesn’t even hold up.

to provide you an example, much of my life between the ages of 19-22 was straight suffering. like i was having a Bad Time my g. and those behaviors, patterns, defense mechanisms, coping strategies, and attitudes are still things i have with me to this day. not all of them are healthy. not all of them are positive. but they exist in response to the shit that i’ve faced.

it’s not even like endless suffering isn’t a real thing like my guy go anywhere in the world and i guarantee in every city you’ll find people suffering in ways you didn’t even think were possible. not that it’s good. but it’s not Unrealistic per se.

fiction and reality aren’t equal btw and allowing people to explore dark fantasies and ideas in the safe place of stories and fiction is more healthy than trying to suppress or shame people into not thinking about it or talking about it. humans will always be creatures of “what if”

finally, again, i reiterate that not every story is supposed to be happy (requiem for a dream is harrowing for instance. just endless suffering. but there Is a lot of character development. it’s just all Bad. and guess what, that’s the point!! its supposed to show the horrors of addiction and it worked. but i will never watch it again. same thing with bedeviled. or hell half the horror genre. even very popular titles like game of thrones get popular and are just cesspools of suffering. it’s safer to read and watch it than live it. i’d rather us do that).

and also, FINALLY finally. your preferences aren’t writing advice stop it. *spritzes with water*

[manonamora-if]

Retrospective 2023 (2)

See Part 1 for the Retrospective Infographic

2023 has been a rollercoaster of stuff, with some very high-highs, and some pretty low-lows. Things have been pretty busy this year, then got busier and weirder. I didn't manage to do things I wanted to do, ending up doing a lot of different things instead. This year was kinda the perfect storm to do all those new stuff and experimentation I've published.

It's been good, it's been bad, it's been ugly, and it's been cool. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Long post ahead - breaking here.

Goals for 2023

Last year, I made big-ass post about what I hoped to achieved during those next 12 months. The main one being: Get things off my desk and shelf it for good! The goal was to finish WIPs and remasters of "completed" projects.

And I... somewhat did that? But also... did whatever. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Taking the list of the "plan":

Goncharov Escapes! was: re-written, re-coded, and translated (to French). The new version also now includes music!

La Petite Mort was: re-written, added content, and translated (to English) for this year's Ectocomp. It just need one more or two things tho

The demo of P-Rix - Space Trucker is now playable on mobile! (and the template based on the game is out too)

The Trials and Tribulations of Edward Harcourt didn't get just one but TWO updates last year!

A bunch of templates! 5 to be exact: 3 focused more on visuals (Sci-Fi, VN, Title), and the other 2 more on code (Setting, Charac Creator).

So... what's extra? Well... a lot. Maybe too much...

A lot of new titles under my name: DOL-OS, The Rye in the Dark City (wip), The Roads not Taken, À la Campagne, Entre-d'oeuf coquilles/An Eggcellent Preparation, Collision, Intersigne, Clarence Street 14, The Dinner, In the Blink of an Eye, Tower of Sleep, and Dévoiement. From bite-size to full large game, that makes TWELVE new thing this year! I... may have gone a bit overboard with this...

Aside from the template, I've also worked on the SugarCube Guide, a guide that covers all markup, macros, functions, methods, and APIs of the SugarCube format. From the basics to the very advanced code ~ Which will receive another update when the 2.37 comes out for real.

After the @seedcomp-if, I continued to organised more IF events: Neo-Twiny Jam, Single Choice Jam, Orifice Jam, Bring Out Your Ghost, Bare-Bones Jam, ShuffleComp... and helped out other events (the IFComp, y'all!).

I've been a tad less active on the Tumblr front lately, mainly because I've hung out more on the Forum or the @neointeractives Discord. But I've been plenty active reviewing games, especially since last May (@manonamora-if-reviews). The count is over 300 now...

I made a zine?????

So yeah... A LOT this year. (and there would have been more had I not gotten sick...)

2023 Achievements and Milestones

There were probably a bunch of itch/analytics milestones this year, but... I've tried to stay away from numbers as much as I could, because I realised it was a source of anxiety. I want to make games for fun, not worry that I haven't achieved a certain play level by a certain date. So I've even edited my itch's dashboard to hide it all. (I'm still updating the analytics sheet once in a while tho) And anyway... nothing will ever be as popular as CRWL, even when I'm trying to push other - and much better imo - games down everyone's throats.

Some other stats on itch:

22 [total] games on itch (incl. the experiments & demos) we're getting closer to my goal of 1 game/birthdays

9 free-to-use prompts

7 free-to-use templates

3 coding guides

1 zine

I also participated in 22 different jams and comps, almost always using one game for multiple jams at once (I'm crazy, but not that crazy). I ranked pretty high on multiple jams, which I am really happy about, and got some amazing reviews and lovely comments. A bunch of my games from 2022 were nominated for the IFDB Awards (and two were mentioned in the Top50 IF too)! (maybe next time I'll get a spot too !)

But the major thing coming out of it all was winning a big competition too, with DOL-OS at the start of the year. Holy shit, did that make my year. I really wasn't expecting it because so many of the games that year were incredible! This was such a confidence booster! I think that's my biggest achievement this year. (I just finished the puzzle I won too, and that was loads of fun) I am so so so proud of that game, especially after releasing the remaster.

Some non-numerical achievements I'm happy about:

I continued experimenting this year, with non-linear stories (DOL-OS), shorter and more kinetic content (Neo-Interactive jam entries), and... well... a thing. The experimentation included trying out other programs to make game too!

Speaking of the thing... I've made a monster of a Twine, creating a bad (oh so bad in convention) parser... which I still haven't finished fixing. I talked at length about here.

I've made an actual proper parser game, following the conventions of the medium... and enjoyed it a lot. From creating puzzles to solving the puzzle that was coding it. It didn't rank super high, but it got some good reactions! Making a parser strangely helped me playing them, and appreciate them more.

Has it been a lot of stuff? Yeah... it feels a bit like a lot...

Some 2023 personal things

Like last year, I've continued to struggle with feeling like I was not doing enough during the year (or the month, before doing the monthly dev logs). Not enough words written or progress made. It was a pervasive thing last year, and I've been working on myself to feel less so, especially with all I've been doing anyway this year. But it's still there.

I think I recently found one of the reasons I've been feeling this way: not working on or finishing the WIPs I started with back in 2021 and in 2022, not making substantial progress that would warrant an update... It's been especially hard when seeing other authors churn out updates left and right and I have little to nothing to show for. Maybe that's why I've been compensating with all the new little projects and jam entries throughout the year (and half-way through 2022). I mean... there hasn't been a month where I didn't publish something new, whether it was an update, or a new game, or a template/guide, or brought out a whole-ass remaster of a game.

And by working on those other little things, I think I found myself in some sort of cycle, where the time spent on those new things is not spent on the WIPs, and I start feeling bad about it. But when I open the file, with all that pressure I put myself, nothing gets written or fixed. So I distract myself with a different thing... and I end up not making any progress on the WIP. It sucks, because I want to see those WIPs done. I want to finish those stories. But it's been hard. Who'd have thunk it??? I'm a stupid human being after all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I know breaking that cycle will happen... when I work on those darn WIPs. I just need to push myself to get there... But I also want to enjoy what I am writing too, because the quality of the writing really sucks when I force it... So silliness has been happening in the meantime.

Will it continue like this? In the near future, most likely. Hopefully not to the extend of the past year and a half. At best, I'd want to have 1-2 updates on a bit WIP, 1-2 new medium-sized games, and a handful small silly experiments, during a year.

Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but anons being nasty about the whole no-progress thing - essentially why @crimsonroseandwhitelily was offline for a whole while, or why I haven't answered many questions lately.

Also gonna take this moment to not address the very personal stuff that happened IRL, even with the very insisting messages I got. I was tempted to go on a whole tangent about what's been going on, but I'm a bit paranoid about my privacy on the internet (and with the anons wilding lately, I've become more careful), and I don't really want IRL to flood this space either (more than it has anyway - considered leaving a few times tbh). I like this specific corner to not be about IRL, to have it as an escape and spend some time just not having to think about it. So yea... you can ask all you want, I'm not going to answer. But it's been a time... I'm coping by being here damnit. Maybe you'll get an(other) autobio game about it one day xD

Here's to a more peaceful state of mind (and inbox) next year...

2023 is OVER officially

And what a fucking year this was. It's made me even more excited to see what 2024 has in store for me.

I want to learn more, for sure. I think I reached a bit of a plateau with SugarCube, where the only thing I feel I haven't tried yet is some sort of RPG adventure/combat system. Or diving further in JavaScript/jQuery (it's inevitable...). Or have less of a spaghetti code... Though it didn't really start as a conscious effort, I'm glad I tried different IF programs and Twine formats this year. It helped me think more about IF game structure and coding. It really pushed me to grow and appreciate the variety there is in IF outside of Tumblr. It did reinforce my love for Twine, especially SugarCube xD

I know I've complained about having done a lot but also not feeling I did enough, but strangely this year has also been pretty fulfilling. Having achieved things I didn't think I could, mess around and create unmentionable bits of code that should not have seen the light of day, learned how to handle new formats, met and talked with a bunch of cool and knowledgeable IF peeps, and just tried to do some good for the community.

I would love to be as fulfilled in this new year too!

I was shocked with all the good things I got in 2022, but I didn't imagine it would be even better this year. How much I got out of this year. How much I got done. How much I learned. How much I grew as a person and a creator. I'm glad I stuck around another year.

I'm really lucky I was able to have the year I had, to be surrounded by such lovely people, to get such positive return on stuff, to be in this community, to have the friends I have, to still be here.

So, thanks for sticking around too, and partake in my silliness :)

[queerpyracy]

thanks to a post on the dying hellhole that is the website formerly known as twitter i've been stewing all day on the sentiment of art as a force for revolution, which i've been dismissive of for a while without really dedicating much time to. now, however, i've decided i'm actively hostile to this sentiment for its rampant fucking egocentrism of art as The Most Important Thing Ever, and by extension, artists as The Most Important People Ever

the tweet that prompted this, for context:

this is of course just one example of this kind of sentiment, and i don't include it to put the OP on blast on a personal level. but the idea that is art, specifically, that is undervalued rather than all labor because people who have their needs met are more difficult to control is flatly absurd. just because most/all people want to engage in art in some way doesn't mean they want it to be their fucking job.

this attitude that art is this incredible revolutionary force is an egotistical self-mythologizing. yes, art is critical to human experience and fulfillment, no it will not goddamn well lead us into the glorious future because the future is not made by individual artists creating something for other people to Be Changed By. the only way we make things better is by people working together to create material change. what i write will never be as important as bringing food to a neighbor or doing what i can to protect the bodies of water nearest me.

the "art is a force for revolution" sentiment, paired with the (completely laughable) notion that "superheroes are the new mythology" starts to make it sound like a lot of people in creative fields dream of being some kind of pop cultural priest king, that through their wise insights told through the language of tvtropes they and they alone will change the tides of history. if you think authors who are too logged on to social media are annoying now, imagine how bad they'll be if they start imagining themselves to be prophets.

obviously i think writing is worthwhile or i wouldn't dedicate so many hours of my one life on earth to it, but i don't delude myself that it makes me history's most special little guy, wielding social and political influence over my readers through the trials and tribulations of some guys i made up. telling stories is something we all do. i also farm, and farming and writing are two great ways to destroy your mind and body while making no money at all. only one of these things get waxed poetic about for its revolutionary potential, and the other actually feeds people.

no piece of art is gonna overthrow the state or the ruling classes. no piece of art is going solve any material problem presented to us. if the ruling classes were really threatened by art, we probably wouldn't have so many movies about Hey Guys, Rich People Suck, Am I Right? and there probably wouldn't be so many avenues for a select group of people to actively profit off of popular art.

we make art because we're human, not because it's gonna fucking change the world. if you actually want to change the world as an artist, then maybe you should start with getting over your damn self and talking to your neighbors.

[honeybyte]

Can you explain all your OCs and worldbuilding in detail? I've always seen these beautiful drawings and sketches of your character is based on song lyrics and stuff, but I've never really figured out much from a cursory scroll of your blog

OKAY i'm gonna take this as an invitation to spill my guts abt my verses. so let me start by saying these get tweaked all the time, little details might change but generally once i settle on a plot it typically stays the same. And, for the most part, these are all outlines w scenes and A》B subject to change. BUT 👏

Honey Verse Compendium: Start!

Axe + Cleaver

》Agnes, Elle, Goliath, Angus, Euan, Odelia

Agnes Laroche is a theologian hellbent on writing an esssy of the Harlach Parish, a cult in a small town called Kencree. While searching for leads she meets Elle Sinclaire, a butcher in the Rhodes District of Kencree who specializes in. Less popular cuts for the smaller crowd. Elle points her in the direction of Goliath Abernathy, a former cult member and champion for the priestess Odelia Harlach.

As it turns out, the Harlach Parish is darker than Agnes imagined; members offer pieces of themselves to the priestess for her favor, trophies she collects in reliquaries. Her most favored happens to be an eye she keeps on a necklace, stolen from Goliath shortly before he left her court. As Agnes pokes around (meeting blacksmith Angus Reid and unwilling court member Euan Harlach), she catches Odelia's attention, who makes a bid to ensnare her in the cult. Outraged and fueled by old anger, Goliath finds his way into her church and a confrontation. He takes back his eye, steals documentation, and sets the church alight.

The town will take time to heal, but Odelia's death is everything she didn't want it to be: quiet and unremarkable, alone in a dark hall.

Flock

》Kaz, Valentine, Mozzwood, Gabriel, Neera

Years after a series of HEMP bombs take out tech worldwide, knowledge on agriculture and horticulture are considered scarce and precious. Kaz, a tractor driver, and Mozzwood, a variant of apex predator gone anxious, are traveling cross country looking for... something. Neither is quite sure yet. They meet a ghost from Kaz's past, a seed dealer and arsonist named Valentine. In a fight to understand their actions comes the revelation Valentine was a cult child-- one that burned down the church that kept them captive, and who continues to burn churches now. Its cleansing, they say.

During their journey, Valentine burns one more church, saving a single little girl named Gabriel. This event inspires a new direction for the group: a cross-country trek to find Kaz's mother and shelter with her.

From there, the story is a road trip. It comes with the ups and downs of having a family along for the ride, with the trials of tribulations that comes with adventuring across a post-apocalyptic land. But they find Kaz's mother, find a safe place with her, and build a home.

Red Heron

》Alec, Librarian, Johann, Kairos

The Red Heron Project is an experiment in body modification, its extreme and practical uses. Alec and the Librarian are abandoned projects, experiments deemed failed but just functional enough to keep in the program as archivists. They rarely receive visitors (there's often fights when they get them), and they like it just so. Its when the doctor Johann and their subject Kairos visit that things become strange.

Alec has never known much about the Librarian; they met in the archives and he's never seen the actual body behind the modification. It happens that Johann knows everything there is to know about the Librarian-- in fact, they're the one that made it. The question isn't so much where the body is as much as it is who has access to it? Certainly not Johann, and definitely not Alec. Not now that they're both considered failed experiments.

Now. How do they get the body back?

Farmer's Bible

》Eremiah, Garrett

This is admittedly my most threadbare concept. What I know is this:

Garrett is a priest in a small town beset by a plague, one which consumes the host via spore and mycelium. The host becomes feverish, then demented, then becomes a mushroom, and Garrett is sick to death of watching his people die. He sets out to find patient zero, tracking lead after lead, until he is brought back to his hometown, and the woods behind it. He finds patient zero there: a man named Eremiah, who keeps to himself and tends an infected farm.

Eremiah doesn't really know he's infected, and if he did he wouldn't much care, benefit of having a mushroom for a brain. The real trial for Garrett is whether it would sit right with him to kill a man like Eremiah, someone who just happened to wander into town with a bad cough.

Kor

》Adriana, Frogmouth, Grace, Andrew

Adriana spends her whole life blaming herself for the death of her best friend when she was a child. Wrought with grief and self-blame, she becomes skilled in ways she shouldn't and takes up work as a mercenary. Work eventually brings her home, where she meets a strange jester with the circus visiting town. She calls him Frogmouth when he won't say his name, but soon annoyance turns to fondness as he gives her a peek of his world. She takes up singing, something she hasn't done for years, and finds herself a new life within the tents. She can almost leave her grief behind like this. Almost.

Alas, work brings her to an audience with the duchess of the town and her advisor. In a breakdown of negotiations, a fight ensues, and Frogmouth finds himself at the center of it. He steps in to protect Adriana, but in the process loses his mask, shattering against the edge of a blade as it reveals the face of the elusive jester:

Adriana's childhood friend, Kor.

[call-sign-shark]

https://youtu.be/nHzryjT9d5w?si=jde0oEYsNLmuJZh-

*breaths* HELLLO AND WELCOME TO MY RED TALK !!!!! ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE I DECIDED O WAS GOJNG TO DO THIS AND LO BEHOLD YOU HAVE DONE IT AGIN SHARK 🦈

(Also another thing on why I haven’t been able to send any asks as much was because life has been kicking my ass lately and sometimes just seeing your works helped me get through some tough times. Also ps.

I got Covid 🤠 and got sick a couple of weeks after thanksgiving while also being on my period and suffering from a lot of stuff but I would like to say thanks so much for being one of the people to help me through the times I was going through because your work keeps me entertained whenever I feel bored)

Bravo 👏 shark 🦈 you deserve several nominations for this amazing writing and you have shown time and time again that no matter the circumstances and trials and tribulations, you continue to pump out works that I could only dream of making and posting for the world to see.

Also, ORIEJSJAJAHAHABDNDNDNDJDJ

Shshjejejwhwuffjjrjejejesksksk

What was those creepy fics about being cannibals heaven and auther I mean and I thought nick was bad 😭 I was so scared I had to go hug my mom for 5 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭

Also I wanted to take this small moment to say you are beautiful and phenomenal because of what you done and just how amazing you would be in general to probably meet someday. But I digress

(Pictures at the bottom)

(Me when I can’t wait to see heavens heart break when she finds out that auther is dead) I can’t wait and I might maybe listen to some even more sad music because I don’t feel depressed enough 😝

But yeah thanks for coming to my red talk and I hope you have a merry Christmas 🎁🎄

THE SHIA INTRO. I’m laughing sm.

Welcome back Jovin, I think you can’t imagine the smile you’ve put on my face when I saw that you posted a new episode of Red Talks in my inbox.

1) I Hope you’re feeling better right now, COVID and periods is such a shitty combination. That must have been extra painful, babe. You’re super brave for going through it. Also Im sending love and positive vibes for your life, hoping things will settle down soon. I am honored my works helped you a little bit during this harsh period of your life.

2) Thank you so so much for your nice compliment about the next chapter of Heaven in Your Eyes. I’m so relieved it’s out after almost two months of struggle! I surely don’t deserve your heartwarming compliment about my writings, but thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart. You and the other mutuals are what motivates me. You sincerely help me too. 🖤 And pretty sure you are a fantastic person too, would love to chat around a coffee with you.

3) LMAO!! Sorry for traumatizing your with The Woods Whisper. And to think it was supposed to be far more graphic and disturbing than it already is! This is a AU I’m super proud of even thought it isn’t popular. (Still have to reply to comment though, but I didn’t cause I posted it when my anxiety was at its worst IRL)

4) And finally, your dream of watching Heaven’s breaking at Arthur’s death will soon come true… My advice is to already prep the saddest playlist you can find. 😈

Arthur is unhappy tho

[moth-feeet]

lately i’ve been seeing lots of posts on here saying things like “how to be a better person”, or “how to be a classy woman” and while i think they have the right ideas at heart, they’re just being very obtuse with the words they choose.

to be a better person you don’t have to speak 7 languages, or only eat raw vegan, or even let everyone tell you their problems.

to be classy you don’t have to have perfectly flat, fly-away-free glossy hair.

the people i see saying these things aren’t thinking about actually being better;

to be good isn’t to be perfect, to be classy doesn’t mean you have to be a white woman with straight blonde hair.

what made me a much better person was realizing i wasn’t a good person.

most of the people giving this advice don’t realize it’s not going to change your life, it won’t make you smart or kind to wear the colors that match your skin tone best. though you might look great, that doesn’t solve the pain.

i think you all deserve some advice from someone with mental illness, who isn’t vegan, who isn’t perfectly tidy, or even popular.

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ

i became a softer, kinder, person when i sat down and saw who i really was, a self centered, mean, sad, bully.

i am fortunate enough to has access to therapy, which absolutely helped me but i did a lot more growth on my own. i’m not gonna say journal, or do shadow work because that meant nothing to me at the time, not to say i don’t journal but whatever, what actually helped me was spending time outside.

i called it “outside time”, original i know, but genuinely everyday for months straight i would go out on the porch in the mornings (i started in winter and through spring - cooler months are best) and i would sit. alone. with nothing but my mind, a piece of paper and a pencil, and the sound of birds and the breeze. it became integral for my day, i had to do it or i didn’t have a good day. these moments were the times i wrote my best poems, or saw myself as who i truly was. i got back into reading and ate through book after book.

spending time outside with nothing but the universe and classical music playing gave me time to ask the universe some questions. i asked her how i got here, what i need to change, why she lead me to this realization, and i got my answer every time.

no, god didn’t come down and speak to me, the stars didn’t write it out, and no one actually said anything. the universe told me through memories, late night conversations with myself, and daydreams of better lives.

i picked up some things through this healing process that i think had a hand in my softening.

baking, cooking in general. though it started as a new year resolution, i learned it’s my love language. sharing my recipes and taking requests, it makes me feel wanted.

i started sleeping better, which was a breakthrough for me. i was prescribed a sleeping medication for chronic insomnia, and it’s helped a lot.

i started spending more time on self care.

now this is what i saw a lot of in the posts i was talking about. i saw lots of, “start a keto diet, start doing face masks, shower twice a week, always go on a run or workout!”

but that’s not what i mean. i started washing my makeup off at night, a revelation for someone with such awful depression at the time. i started brushing my teeth which certainly wasn’t a priority when i was rotting in bed everyday. i learned how to properly care for my curls. i even just left dr.pepper for tea. don’t get me wrong i have a dr.pepper sat next to me right now. i never cut it out i just laid off it.

one of the far more controversial aspects i changed was, not letting everybody dump their trials and tribulations onto me. i have always been very empathetic and therefore seen as a person to talk to about your troubles. and while i tried my best, i don’t have the advice a 50 year old woman in the middle of a divorce is looking for (and i was asked for it). i didn’t just let people tell me what they were going through. it seems cruel but it really helped me let go. i always described my mental health as those statues in dispicable me that slowly get crushed. and most of that came from listening to everyone’s thoughts and also carrying my own.

inevitably i had to stop. i had to let people know i wasn’t the person who could help them, and when i would listen my advice was, “i suggest you talk to someone better equipped for these issues”. i lead a lot of people to school counseling, or even social services at times. but i never forced them to take the steps to get better, because they were never my responsibility.

of course i wanted to help, sometimes i understood more than you could imagine, i never said it, because when someone reached out for help i chose to grab their hand and lead them to the real recuse team. because you and i are not trained therapists, we aren’t cps, we aren’t letting ourselves be crushed.

growing for me meant guiding people to the people who helped me. i wasn’t mentally prepared for someone to share a trauma or a struggle, i had and still have my own to work through.

.

all this is to say; no one grows the same way. maybe for some, reading classic literature changed their mentality in life, but i find books from the 1800s boring; and maybe some people feel classiest in all gold jewelry, maybe i don’t get it.

that’s just not what i think would save me. so, if you’re trying to carry yourself with more kindness, if you want to be the ‘it girl’, if you plan to be your best. before you jump to a new wardrobe or a drastic diet change, try spending time with your head. no stimulation, no music or books or anything. sit and color in a coloring book by an open window. ask the universe how you got here, and wait.

frighting with your head won’t get you where you dream to be, sometimes work has to stop for you to start again.

i really hope that the people who truly do want to change, find the right ways to.

with all my love, i am rooting for you.

love, K

[heareriissmau]

❧ ❝pseudo alliance❞

mha kacchako!smau

disclaimer: if you don't like kacchako step away. this smau is only for fun. also this is gonna be filled with a lot of curses or expletives because bakugo.

genre: comedy, romance, slow burn, crack, tooth-rotting fluff summary: After the big war of today's generation, the popularity of Class 2A skyrocketed even before their debut as Pro-Heroes. Which comes with a price. The most popular students in class are getting way too much attention to the extent of being stalked. So, the students brainstormed ideas on how put a halt on these harrassments. Or; Class 2A opts for Bakugo and Uraraka to fake date to get rid of each other's strange fans. ship: Bakugo Katsuki x Uraraka Ochako (My Hero Academia)

⸻ part 9: trials and tribulations

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heights alliance secrets:

ochako also received little snacks as gifts from her admirer until she set her boundaries.

izuku became full aware katsuki and ochako doesn't have each other's number being his two best friends. he decided to not intervene. also cause it's funny.

tsuyu assured ochako that was not her main goal and that it was only a coincidence, but ochako has trust issues.

iida had to make sure ochako doesn't actually shake babies.

class 2a always anticipates katsuki and ochako's hilarious exchanges through tweets.

neito considered deactivating his account.

reply if you wanna be in my taglist! ⚝

[yarns-and-d20s]

Fantasy, Fantasy Romance, and Language

This has been on my mind for a good long while, and I finally had the opportunity to post it as a comment on reddit. It, uh, is extremely long, probably better suited to a blog post, but with the death of LJ and birth of "socmed brevity", that's the only place for this sort of comment.

However, that doesn't mean it shouldn't also be a blog post, so here we are, with additional context/intro.

I know that fantasy romance fans, especially fans of the very popular writers/books (ie, the booktok famous stuff) can be very touchy. I may be yucking a yum. I feel no regrets about this. I love romance, I love fantasy, and you take those two things and smash them together, and I should love it. I don't always, and there are some reasons: much of it is targeted to an audience younger than I, and I as I age, I get increasingly uninterested in the trials and tribulations and especially love lives of people half my age. There's too many "Not Like Other Girls" FMCs and too many "Shadow Daddy 1000-Year-Old Vampire Werewolf Merman Asshole" MMCs. The worldbuilding isn't always stellar. There's so much first-person and that's not my jam—and I recognise that's very much a "me" problem with the entirety of romance, never mind fantasy romance.

But I DNF'd Fourth Wing very specifically because I read the words "for the win". Someone brought those three words up in a discussion about the book. I said that was when I DNF'd it. I was told it happened two more times.

I typed out the following:

If I can take this way too seriously for a moment: I am not a detractor of making the language, especially dialogue, in fantasy more casual/modern. The way that fantasy video games like Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Baldur's Gate III, etc, make the characters sound less formal, stilted, and uptight than Papa Tolkien did is good, in my opinion, even if it's just the simple trick of making them use contractions. It makes the genre more accessible and less dense. Sure, I've read all of A Song of Ice and Fire*, too, which on the scale of "For the Win" to "Papa Tolkien" is closer to Papa Tolkien, almost certainly because GRRM is older, and that's fine. Those books are doorstoppers, they take everything extremely seriously, and I still enjoy and read that end of fantasy. I also genuinely think that the genre could open itself up a lot more by taking a page (sorry) from fantasy video games, and I never think "more people like thing that I like" is bad. It's good, actually! (All that said, every time I read/hear the word "okay" come out of the mouth of a dwarf or a wizard I'm like, oh, I don't know about this. Also the word "jeez" is used in Fire Emblem: Three Houses and I struggled with that one even more, because "jeez" it's from "Jesus" and, um, [Fódlan] doesn't have one of those.)

HOWEVER.

Unless this fantastical setting is actually here, Earth, whether it be now or in a far-flung future (eg, urban fantasy or something like Gideon the Ninth, which, yes, is more the "SF" of "SFF"), I strongly, massively object to fucking memes being in this genre, set on other worlds, just once, let alone THRICE. And, okay.

Small allusions for "I understood that reference" points in perhaps description or very throwaway gags are one thing, and I'll accept those on a case-by-case basis. But a—or worse the—main character saying an internet meme like "for the win" aloud THREE TIMES is just... no. No thank you.

Genres have conventions. They do that for a reason, that's what makes them a genre. The romance genre has the the romance as the A-plot and that HEA (no matter how much people on twitter want to argue with me that despite what the RWA says, romance doesn't need an HEA and thus Wuthering Heights is a romance novel). Fantasy, except in particular circumstances, takes place on secondary worlds and bringing in something that is blatantly and drastically from 21st-century Earth, and marking the writer as probably a Millennial, is immersion-breaking to its foundations, and for SFF, immersion is foundational to the genre. I do not care if you're slapping "romance" after the word fantasy.

Fantasy romance is a tightrope walk over a pit of alligator-filled lava. I need the writers to pull off the romance A-plot and the HEA, but to also respect the conventions of the fantasy genre or I'm out.

For fantasy romance, T Kingfisher actually pulls off this balance masterfully in her Saint of Steel series.

*I need whoever reads this to know that I initially typo'd that as "A Snog of Ice and Fire" and, hey, free self-pubbed fantasy romance title right there.