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yarns-and-d20s · 2 days ago

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I want to propose "autistic bugbear" as a corollary to "autistic special interest", for something that you're interested in and focus on more than maybe you should because of how much it annoys the fuck out of your autistic brain.

For me that's "misused terminology that describes serious IRL things... or media analysis". It's not something I spend hours upon hours researching or indulging in with varying levels of joy and fascination. The most research I end up doing is verifying that I'm not losing my mind about what these terms mean.

So this is everything from the very, very serious such as gaslighting, cycle of abuse, or incest; to the much less serious but still important plot hole, escapist/escapism, and death of the author vs separate the art from the artist.

I do not spend lots of time on these things. I have many of the definitions in my head, but sometimes still need to double-check to word them correctly. I do not find them varying levels of fascinating or joyful the way I do moral panics, or Skyrim, or rocks, or penguins, or Midde-earth. I just find them annoying as fuck. Because they're constantly used incorrectly and make communication difficult.

And it's not like moral panics aren't angering and annoying, but they fascinate me endlessly, just for different reasons than I'm fascinated by Middle-earth.

But these egregiously misused words make me so flipping annoyed, because when someone says "I just read for escapism!" I do not know whether or not they mean a) "I read escapist genres like fantasy, sci-fi, and/or romance, as a way of escaping into another world that's different from ours so that I can forget the stresses of real life and spend time somewhere where there are dragons and good always triumphs over evil; where there's luxury gay space communism; or where things always work out in the end and we get to live happily ever after" or if they mean b) "I just want to shut my brain off and not have to think critically about what I read lol"

So I don't spend hours and hours of my time on them, except when it feels like an appropriate time to rant about how "the word incest means something extremely serious, please stop using it to mean fictional characters who are not related to each other just because you don't like the ship and think you need a moral reason" or "someone who was abused going on to abuse someone else isn't what 'cycle of abuse' is supposed to mean, it's a cycle that happens within the dynamics of an abusive relationship" or "a plot whole is an inconsistency or contradiction in the internal logic/plot of a story, not a character not doing something you think they should do". These things make me very annoyed, because they make conversations very difficult sometimes, but not in a way that I think "literally now means metaphorically if we want" does, because I can usually tell by looking at someone that they did not, in fact, laugh so hard they died.

PS vaguely but not completely related, the past tense of "cast" is "cast" and the past tense of "thrust" is "thrust". When your device was underlining those words with a red squiggly line as you wrote them, there was a reason.

#autism #let's blame my autism #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #actually autistic #language matters

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yarns-and-d20s · 5 days ago

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Help me cover Smudge's vet bills - please reblog - UPDATED 2 September 2025 - Fuckingfucksticks

https://gofund.me/ab8585bb

The Cat That Saved My Life

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Solensia August: $160/160 - Thank you!

Blood Pressure Check August: 120/120 - Thank you!

At-home BP monitor and cuff: $42 - Thank you!

New dental bills: $150/$4418 - holy shit

02/09/2025

Thank you SO MUCH to the kind souls that donated in the last week, I appreciate you so much <3 I'm now less in the red, and started putting money in the dental surgery fund.

Smudge is booked to go in tomorrow morning (in about 24 hours) for a full day and night of fluids before his op, which is on Thursday. We'll be bringing him home that night, and then he's going back in for another day of fluids on Friday. I'm very worried about my little man :( I hope he'll be okay.

Once again, please reblog, please share, please donate if you can. And thank you so much for all that you've done so far <3

30/08/2025

Well, shit. Bank of mum and dad can lend us the up-front cost. We already owe them so much. I need to be able to pay at least some of this back..

26/08/2025

Shit shit shit shit shit shit fuck. Smudge has a broken tooth and his gum is swollen. I thought his lip looked a bit weird yesterday, so I had a look just now and one of his canine teeth is a stump (photo below cut). Please, please, help us out. We have $20 to last us until I next get paid, which could be any time in the next three weeks, and dental work on pets is expensive AF. Please, any help you can give would be really appreciated. I'm hoping he won't have to go under anaesthesia, being an older boy, but who knows. Please?

Sorry the image is blurry, wasn't easy to take, but that top tooth isn't there any more. The tooth you can see is the bottom one.

This is what it should look like:

The root is still in there, so I'm guessing it'll have to be removed. Fuck.

21/08/2025

Great news! I found a blood pressure machine and cat-sized cuff on Ebay for a total of $42! They will both arrive before his next blood pressure check is due, so assuming it all works fine, I'll be able to cancel that part of the vet appointment and only go get that done if I notice any change.

I am still low on work this month though, so donations to help us keep up and not have to delay paying our bills (again - yikes) would be really appreciated!

I am also searching for better-paid jobs. It sucks, because I really like the flexibility of freelancing and the small company that I contract for, I actually feel like my mental health is coming back a bit. Unfortunately, jobs I can do and which don't send me into an anxiety spiral are also thin on the ground.

15/08/2025

So, we just did Smudge's BP check and Solensia shot, but I've had about half the usual amount of work for the last three weeks as I normally do. We are almost certainly going to be paying some of our bills late this month. As Smudge's BP is going to be an ongoing issue, I want to be able to check his BP at home.

Please help me out, just a few bucks would go a long way. If I can get his Solensia and BP covered for August, next month I can buy the monitor and cuff so I can keep track of it myself. If I raise enough to get one, I'll post video of taking Smudge's blood pressure! :)

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28/07/25

Smudge’s next blood pressure appointment is on August 8, and all going well, they’ll be every three months after that. His next Solensia is due I think a fortnight after that, and I’m hoping to have them be at the same time from then on. And, our fridge is dying. We really need some more help.

The incredibly generous donations I got last month meant we were able to pay bills which had become overdue thanks to vet costs and a delay in my pay coming through, and I’m so grateful to those that helped ❤️

25/07/25

A massive thank-you to @slavicafire for sharing this, and to the people who've already donated after seeing it <3 Huge thank-you also to everyone who i s reblogging this as well, it helps a huge amount <3

I've added back the amount we owe to the tally above, I have some hope now that we may get enough help to pay it back. I had given up and was just going to ignore it and hope it went away on its own, because we all know how well that works 😅

Smudge is doing well at the moment, the Solensia is keeping him mobile. I've bought a cheap plastic ring to do some more training of tricks with him, hopefully learning to jump through a hoop will be good for his mobility as well! I'll post a video of our training once it arrives :)

18/07/2025

Great news! Smudge got his Solensia shot today, and was a Very Good Boy ☺️

I’d love to be able to afford the next one in exactly a month’s time (this one was three weeks late), as it would mean greater comfort for him. So, if you can, please reboot or donate. He’s a very good cat ☺️

16/07/2025

Thanks to an extremely generous donor, we've been able to book Smudge in for a Solensia shot this Friday! :D

This is a huge relief, because he's been getting increasingly weak in his back legs again, noticeably so, and has in the last few days started peeing in a corner of the flat again, which tells me he's having trouble getting in and out of the litter box. I've done what I can to make it more accessible, but if he's having more at one time of day and another, it's clearly not enough.

So, thank you, generous donor! You have done us a huge favour <3

13/07/2025

Thanks to a couple of truly generous people, I received a bit more support which made things easier <3 Many, many thanks to those people!

Smudge is doing okay, but we still can't afford another Solensia shot. As always, any reblogs or support are super appreciated!

04/07/2025

Changing up how I've organised what I've been able to cover, because it's becoming clear that Smudge is going to need monthly Solensia injections for his arthritis, and this will need to be the focus. The Zydax hasn't worn off but the last Solensia was due about a week ago; his right leg is already showing signs of weakness again. I cannot stress enough how much we cannot afford this, and at this point we're not in a position to borrow for it.

We've also delayed his third blood pressure check (meant to be on the 6th) because we can't afford the vet bill.

Please, keep reblogging this. The request for help is still urgent because of the work situation.

30/06/2025

URGENT REQUEST FOR HELP

I’m too sick to work this week, and as a freelancer, that means no money if I don’t work.

Please, any reblog or donations would be super appreciated right now 😭

UPDATE: RATs are all negative. I will do another test tomorrow. So, that’s good! Sadly, I still feel like death warmed up.

29/06/25

So we ran out of the right size needles recently.

And so did the vet, which meant we couldn’t do Smudge’s subcutaneous fluids for like two weeks. Smudge is a little crispy now. I’m going to have to scoop the poop out of his butt tonight.

Please send money so I can pay the vet to do this because holy shit (no pun intended) it’s unpleasant. And also so I can buy needles and syringes ahead of time and not run out again.

UPDATE

Oh that was disgusting. And Smudge is shivering despite my giving him extra gapa and some buprenorphine. Poor little traumatised lad :(

20/06/2025

Some good news today! Smudge’s blood pressure is down to 180, which is still high, but not retina-could-haemorrhage-at-any-moment high. He’ll be going up to a higher dose, but that ought to set him right.

Thankfully this visit was only $160-ish. It means we can afford groceries this week, assuming no emergencies happen

Here’s a video of Smudge playing up on the bookshelf :) He’s been showing off that he can get up and down it all week, and I think his back legs are a bit sore from that! But he’s doing so very much better! 🥰

18/06/2025

So, Smudge has high blood pressure. As in, *scary* high.

When the vet took it, she said it was up over 240, and they’d normally treat it when it gets to 180. Quite frankly, we’re lucky the emergency hospital checked it when he did. Apparently there’s a massive risk of blindness if it’s not caught.

So, he’s now on blood pressure medication, which I’m adding to his regular capsule. The good news is, he’s feeling heaps better! He’s even more bright and alert than even the arthritis injections have had him, and is scaling the tiered bookshelves again!

We have a follow-up appointment on Friday to see whether his current dose is adequate or he needs a higher one. Fingers crossed it’s enough!

02/06/2025

Had a huge scare last night. Smudge was not looking well, seemed to be in pain, and his back legs were weak, then he was incontinent when I was holding him. After what happened with Lotte, we freaked out and went to the emergency vet. Luckily it seems he just aggravated the injury from November and is doing a lot better.

They gave him the good drugs and he was high as a kite for a couple of hours. Unfortunately it cost us a good $689, and we have another fortnight until pay day, and we need to follow up with his regular vet this week because his blood pressure is a bit high. But honestly, I’m just relieved to have him home. We’ve got the tub chair set up next to the bed as a bassinet again, and he seems happy to have it there so we’ll keep it as is for now.

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30/05/2025

So, Smudge is still doing really well, and we’ve completed is first course of Zydax and he’s had is second Solensia shot (we got that one for free thanks to a promotion by the vet).

We’re looking at possibly giving him Zydax monthly, because the vet told me that it has been shown to help with renal disease as well, but we’ll see.

Meanwhile! We’re reaching g the end of our supply of subcutaneous fluids, syringes, and needles. $60 will get us 100 needles and 20 syringes (which will probably last a couple of years) and a litre of fluids, which will last a couple of months. The vet also recommended we try something called Hydracare by pro Plan, which is like a gravy that comes in sachets and is formulated for hydration of senior cats with renal issues. Hopefully he’ll like it, but for now we have to afford it, so I’ve also added that to my micro-goals here on the blog! :)

As always, any donations are super appreciated, as are reblogs so more people see this. Thank you again!

20/05/2025 THANK YOU!

To the wonderful people that have already donated and/or shared this campaign, thank you! I appreciate you so much! Your help has given us some much-needed breathing room while we get Smudge's initial arthritis and kidney disease treatment underway, and recover from losing our precious girl, Lotte.

I really can't thank you enough. He's playing with his toys again, getting more confident every day as his muscles re-build from while he was much less mobile, and even feels steady enough on his paws to climb and balance on my lap, so he can get comfy and fall asleep <3 Even last week, he wasn't confident to do this so the feelings I have right now are just such happiness and love.

So, once again, thank you so so so much!

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15/05/2025

It's been a month since we lost Lotte, our little girl cat, and I won't lie, it's been hard. Grieving for her has also increased my anxiety over Smudge, but happily this is being eased by how well he's doing!

The Solensia injection that he got while the Zydax builds up has worked WONDERS for him! Between that and the fluids we give him weekly, he's playing again and much happier and more lively. It's wonderful to see :)

I did need de-constipate him manually again though, so I need to keep giving him the psyllium husks as that also made a difference to his poop situation.

A wonderful person just donated $50 to the GFM, so Charles, whoever you are and if you're reading this, THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart! I still haven't been paid for my last fortnight's work (up to 21 days between invoicing and payment being sent, ugh), so this is a far bigger help than you know.

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01/05/2025

Thank you SO MUCH to the wonderful person who donated $55 to Smudge! This will cover a food dehydrator so I can work on hopefully making some high-value treats for him :D

In further news, we took him to the vet a month early because he was showing worsening signs. He's going to need to be on weekly fluid injections (which we can do at home), and on arthritis medication. A friend of mine was kind enough to lend me money for this vet visit.

This visit and the last one we took Lotte to set us back some AUD$900.

How much Smudge's arthritis meds cost will depend on which has the best tolerance/effect ratio for him. His next appointment is at the end of May, and that will be another $700-ish because they'll be taking blood and urine to see how he's faring on the new regime.

Thank you again for sharing this post and donating what you can. I know we're all struggling at the moment, which is why I'm finding it hard to keep sharing this, and we're lucky to be able to borrow money, to cover immediate expenses, but owing money is Not Fun.

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31/03/2025

Hey y’all, I’m worried about Smudgie. He tripped trying to move through the cat door today (still being held open by string) and to be constipated again when I took him to the litter.

Going to need to take him to the vet again soon for a checkup and to get his gabapentin script reissued. Please help? I love him so much, I’m really scared.

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18/03/2025

Because I can’t afford to see the vet, I just manually removed a big constipated poop from Smudge’s colon. It was about as much fun for both of us as you might imagine.

I’m extremely worried I might have hurt him worse but for now he seems to be doing okay.

I’d like to be able to afford to have someone else traumatise my cat, ideally someone who knows what they’re doing.

If you can, please help me cover vet bills. If you can’t please reblog this post, in case it’s seen by someone who can.

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06/03/2025

I've decided it's time for a GoFundMe, things have just become very expensive.

I am hoping to raise a total of AU$10K to cover the vet bills we already owe, the cost of the vet bills he's going to have for the next year, and the cost of updated medication complete change in diet that's about to happen (I get to throw out all the food we just bought! Yay! </s>).

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