#treating yourself kindly

[sketchguk]

Just logged on for the first time in a long timee, just stopped by say hello, miss you, hope youre doing well! 💜✨🥹

I've missed seeing you on my dash !! How are you? 💛 I hope life is treating you well <33 sending all my love!

[pharawee]

I usually don't do yearly recaps because my memory sucks December is one of the busiest months for me and I'm lucky if I get to gif at all but this year I thought I'd take a look at all of the gifsets I did in 2024 and see which shows, pairings and moments I liked the most.

✨FAV BLS OF 2024

1000 Years Old: 2024 was supposed to be the year of vampire BL (going by all the announcements and pilot trailers) but in the end only this one aired (edit: wait, I forgot about OMG! Vampire to protect myself 🥴) - and it was neither spicy nor particularly spooky. Instead, it was all heart and quirkiness and when it was over I cried for a week because of the bittersweet ending.

Playboyy: This show is truly a masterpiece, with layers of subtext and social commentary. Also, it's fun and camp and sexy and ridiculous. I'm so glad it's going to get a second season.

Caged Again: How come that a little show about a penguin and a panther is legit one of the best - if not THE BEST - Thai BL of the year?

Knock Knock, Boys: I came for Best and Seng and Pak but then Almond and Latte bewitched me body and soul. Kongthup now owns me.

Every You, Every Me: I don't know what I was expecting (well, okay, a whole lot of Mick & Top - which is exactly what I got) but it surely wasn't crying my eyes out for two episodes right in the middle of the show.

Spare Me Your Mercy: Long awaited and currently still airing - I actually love this show a lot because it reminds me of all the detective dramas (esp Endeavour and Grantchester) I used to binge. Morse but make it queer is actually all I ever wanted.

7 Days Before Valentine: This show's depth and artistry and stageplay-like character absolutely blew me away.

I Saw You in My Dream: WeTV absolutely blew it out of the water this year with their many diverse productions, and this unassuming and charming little show with a supernatural twist (love me one of those!) was no exception.

Monster Next Door: Big Thanakorn in his first main role with his first acting partner in an extremely fun and all around lovely Kongthup/WeTV production. And I just love how nuanced it was when they could have just stuck with the whole introvert/extrovert cliché.

✨FAV PAIRINGS OF 2024

Hope x Save (Jack & Joker): These two completely took me by surprise, especially because I had such an intense reaction to Pee Phiravich's character in La Pluie. I had originally set my eyes on PromMark and while I definitely ate up their crumbs, HopeSave just checked all of my boxes: morally grey antagonists (at least for a while there), doomed by the narrative (until they actually got their happy ending, yay!) and ride and die for each other.

Pete x Kenta (Pit Babe): I'll be a PeteKenta truther until the day I die (see all of the checkboxes above), and if Change2561 didn't subscribe to the branded pair model, they'd agree with me. As things are I'm actually kind of meh about Pit Babe 2. I bet KentaKim won't have knives at each other's throats!! (PeteWay is delicious though.)

Prom x Nont (Playboyy): Uhhh, that's a lot of the same checked boxes. So maybe I have a type. Thanks 2024 for making me realise. Also, I hope these two make each other worse in season 2 (before they get their HEA because ultimately I'm vanilla like that).

Latte x Almond (Knock Knock, Boys!): Oh God, these two. I was prepared to be ride or die for Thanwa and Peak but then LatteAlmond barged in with a pink sex toy and it was over for me. They just have so much heart and so much sincerity between them (and while their dynamics are different in Caged Again I'm really enjoying Nokia and Jaonine there too for pretty much the same reason + their incredible comedic timing).

X x Namping (Every Me, Every You): It's probably a good thing we got these two for two episodes only because we might not have survived a whole 8 or 10 or even 12 episodes of them. Plus, the anthology-like character of the series made a sad ending possible in the first place, and I really appreciate it - even if it almost destroyed me.

✨FAV MOMENTS OF 2024

Twins: For a moment there we had FrameRyan and it was beautiful.

The Sign: Chalothorn stole the whole show for me and then when he inexplicably vanished I kind of stopped watching. Whoops.

Deep Night: I have seen the throuple light thanks to SeijiPanKen.

The Rebound: Frank Thanatsaran's acting (but also that scene...) overshadowing pretty much everything else (and now he's with Star Hunter which... you know... ehnnnn 🥲)

To Be Continued: Fluke Pongsapat and Junior Khajbhunditt starring in a way underrated 8-episode netflix show with one of the most beautiful love scenes ever, and I've been wanting more of them ever since.

Two Worlds: Kongthup giveth and Kongthup taketh away (aka for one and a half episodes I had Phupha and Khram and now I will never know peace).

Century of Love: Offroad Kantapon as a sultry fox spirit.

Sunset x Vibes: When Star Hunter remembered Fong and JJ exist and then they stole the whole entire show (there really wasn't much to steal though...).

The Sign: Whatever was going on between Heng Asavarid and Nat Sakdatorn in this scene BUT I NEED MORE (pls Idolfactory I'm begging you release Heng from his solo actor prison).

Two Worlds: Kongthup choosing violence by giving Pak and Mon one of the spiciest love scenes of the year.

The Rebound: THESE TWO (boxes checked!! But also I need more Nammon in my life).

Kidnap: GMMTV's strategic placement of Papang in a suit.

The Hidden Moon: Whenever that tiny low-budget show got surprisingly deep and artsy (and also spicy).

My Stand-In: When I watched a whole show for one (1) character that wasn't really a character at all. Oh, the tragedy of it all (and yes, I'm still scared of Ming).

Pit Babe: When I made several posts about the Pit Babe novel but then I actually ended up loving the villains more than the main characters. I'm watching Pit Babe 2 for them and them only. Winner of my heart here I come!

Aaand that's it, my first ever yearly (Thai) BL recap - which actually ended up way longer than planned (guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. Then again, I had my gifs to fall back on).

2024 was an amazingly diverse year for Thai QL (along with the wonderful news of marriage equality in Thailand finally becoming a reality) and looking back I now realise (not that I was ever seriously worried) that gmmtv's monopoly is actually way more of a blessing than a curse because not only did it cause WeTV to heavily invest in their own productions, it also leaves more than enough room for innovation and creativity via smaller and indie companies (along with the truly big players finally paying more attention - see: Spare Me Your Mercy). Innovation which in turn enriches gmmtv's portfolio as well (judging by their line-up for 2025 the years to come). In short: the Thai BL ecosystem is truly thriving.

And with that, may 2025 be even queerer than 2024 with tons of marriage proposals and actual marriages (PorschArm here we go!), and a favourite little (or in gmmtv's case not so little lmao) BL niche for everyone.

I hope you had as much fun with BL in 2024 as I had. I really appreciate everyone's commentary posts and meta and fanart and gifsets and tag games and reaction posts, even if I didn't spend as much time on my dashboard this year as I wanted to. I'm so glad tumblr BL fandom exists. ILU guys. Only the bestest and kindest things for you in 2025!🌈✨

[marclef]

a bucket o' rats just for you

waaaaaahhhhh!!!! the Cheese Rat Frog gets a wonderful delicious bucket of treats!! like a scrumptious bucket of KFC 😋 how very sweet!! ❤✨

[tetzoro]

hello my lovely friendz ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡ i hope you had a wonderful week and an even better friday ! it’s finally the weekend for me and im soooo so excited ! ‹𝟥

[m0stlygh0st]

Hi!! Hello!!!

This is just your friendly reminder that resting yourself is totally fine and very good, actually! I can’t speak for everyone but the last week of the year can always be a lot and honestly? Sometimes you just need to be horizontal for a bit. Get comfy, hug your favorite plush or pillow or whatever brings you joy and just. Breathe. Rest for a moment, rest for the night. Doesn’t matter, just… rest.

You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. ❤️

[k-looking-glass-house]

Kimesama's Tree

leave a message for Kimesama! #colormytree https://colormytree.me/2024/01HGKN3K4RCFE9BR01CDC9QKK2

Just wanted to share a pink tree ...

I might surprise you if you leave some decoration in it

[vancruejovi]

Me: “Nah I don’t think you could tell I’m struggling mentally just by looking at me. I’m pretty good at hiding it”

What I look like:

[zeb-z]

At a surface level, Gillion always putting himself between danger and his friends just makes sense, because he’s noble like that, isn’t he? Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Riptide Pirate - he can tank a hit, or two, or three, and swing back just as hard. He’s protective, and he’s sturdy, and he’s stubborn. Then just a little deeper, Gillion would without question sacrifice himself for the greater good. For a friend in need, for a good hearted citizen, for the net positive - he’s noble, with a heart of gold, who’s courage knows no bounds, right? And then just a little deeper, Gillion would actively harm himself just to make someone feel better. Just to take the edge off of someone else’s misery. He’d take their own pain, or even unnecessary pain, so they might have some sort of relief. Even if it isn’t guaranteed, he’s so ready, so eager, to jump at the chance.

Gillion Tidestrider is someone born to meet impossible standards, constantly told he’s not good enough, taught that his suffering is necessary and through this his people will survive. He’s all these things, kind and courageous and chivalrous, with a heart that beats to help others in need - but he’s also self sacrificial. Dangerously so. He takes personal risks without second thought, he pushes his limits for even the little things, he helps to the point of his own detriment. He will bleed himself dry on the off chance it might help a good soul who needs it. He will do worse for his loved ones. And it isn’t just from the all encompassing need to help at any cost, but also this feeling deep down inside that he deserves it. It’s his destiny to save people, no matter the personal cost.

It’s pushed to the extreme with Felipe after the Feywilds. Gillion, still off center, freshly traumatized from his time in that god forsaken orb, still awaiting the verdict on if he’s guilty in the eyes of the council while fully convinced he is, finds out it’s technically his fault his new friend is filled with insatiable bloodlust and wants to stab him to death. Of course he encourages the stabbing. Of course he’ll mind control to keep the peace. And when all is said and done, and it hurts and it doesn’t help, he still wonders about pushing it further - fully behind this idea of him dying and being brought back, even if it’s not sure to work. Even if it’s not sure to bring him back.

And I just keep thinking, that for all the healing Gillion does - all those sick people from Joaldo, Chip and Jay countless times in their battles, members of the crew, various people hurting and in need of aid - he’s never once used lay on hands on himself. It’s a pattern, made noticeable in Edison Kingdom, where he heals Alphonse for half of a joke instead of his own 1 hp - which subsequently downs him on the way down - and it’s continues to the end of the Feywilds, where Jay and even Felipe heal the stab wounds he bleeds out from. He’s a healer with the power just at his fingertips, so easily within reach, and he doesn’t heal himself.

So it does beg the question - when will the line between ‘selfless’ and ‘self sacrificing’ be drawn?

[f-imaginings]

Hiya!! I just finished reading chapter 58 and oh my God the contrast of the earlier chapters to the latest breaks my heart at how happy they used to be together... 😭

I JUST REALLY NEED TO ASK I NEED PEACE OF MIND 🙏🏼 do you plan to give them at least an ending where there's no lies between them anymore,no more manipulation,no nothing. Just them? My heart can't take how tragic they are,you have me texting my ex at 2:23 am about this heavy feeling in my heart is the same feeling I felt when we broke up 😭 it's genuinely so funny how I deeply relate to your writings, seriously I cried in that chapter where Bill kept screaming that it hurts - where the last bricks were being unbinded. I've never felt so much emotion in a fanfic and it's 2:27 am as I'm writing this hfhgjfnhfghh,it's so mind boggling how much has changed between them. I personally love how you wrote them,the ones where you wrote in accordance with the show- I feel ever more sympathetic after reading your fics about them,I just want the triangle and the scientist to be happy again 😭

Oh no! I'm sorry this had you doing the late night text to an ex!!

A lot of people are begging for a happy ending for this fic, so I am going to write a spin off fic about all the potential crossroads where this could happen for them.

My plan for the ending has been set in stone for a while though, and while it will be open ended with an optimistic sort of vibe, more shit will be going down 👀 we still have weirdmaggedon to look forward to, as this fic was always meant to be a way to examine their dynamic in the show. I have things I want to say with this story, and I think people have been enjoying it so much because they are interested in what the fic says about the pairing, and the wider world and the characters world views.

I have no doubt with the new wave of Billford fans there will be a surplus of happy ending fluff fics being written about the pairing as is inevitable when a fandom pairing becomes popular.

My goal with the fic was never for it to just be a popular people pleaser but instead for it to change the brain chemistry of ppl who look at the pairing lmao and be this sort of mirror through which ppl can understand the characters and themselves better. I had a fic that did that for me once and I always look fondly on it for how it changed my life for the better and it definitely didn't spare my emotions in favour of an easy ending but I think I am better for it.

Anywho sorry for the rambling reply. Take good care of yourself while reading and practice some good self care bud. Your own wellbeing comes first!

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

like actually because this is something I’ve noticed and it’s concerning me:

there’s a level of paranoia going around about CCs that I’ve noticed that seems genuinely fucking unhealthy. obviously do not put people on pedestals but also like. you absolutely should not assume all CCs are hiding being a fucking abuser or a groomer that is genuinely unhealthy levels of paranoia. the victim in this case Is A CC and it’s disrespectful to her if nothing else.

there is a baseline level of trust that is healthy to show CCs and complete strangers, and that’s basic good faith trust that someone’s going to be a decent human being. obviously, the second someone violates that trust, you shouldn’t continue doing that, if you feel ever weird and in danger trust that feeling, but if you go around treating everyone with zero trust at all you’ll never form bonds, and those are important. including parasocial bonds! those are a normal and healthy part of human life people have had for millennia, they can be unhealthy but simply feeling parasocial attachment is a normal part of being a human you shouldn’t feel like is a dangerous amount of trust to put into absolutely anyone.

because… you have to realise, this is not a mcyt problem. not entirely. this is how humans are. humans in any community, humans you are friends with. there are shitty people out there, but letting that make you have no trust in anyone isn’t a healthy coping mechanism- its trauma. automatically assuming strangers are dangerous and seeing the worst in them is a trauma response. and like. i don’t like seeing people encouraging that as a healthy way to watch streamers? like, don’t be a fucking shooter for any cc, but at that level of paranoia where you take everything stated in the worst light possible is unhealthy, and i mean this as genuinely as possible. this isn’t saying to ignore red flags and people genuinely being awful, not at all, but if you're assuming there’s always going to be a red flag when you turn the corner then very gently- that's trauma. those are called emotional flashbacks. i get those too, they suck. but being on constant vigilance isn’t healthy. take a deep breath. get a drink of water. make whatever decision you think is right, but if you're feeling paranoid and angry and alone, all the time, that genuinely isn’t mentally healthy please do some research into cptsd and ptsd

[amywritesthings]

if i have any new (or even veteran) fanfic writers following me that look at their draft and go, "i can't make heads or tails of this, i am a failure" -- then you are not alone!

last night i literally almost cried because i could not edit for the life of me. so i turned my laptop off, watched something unrelated to my fanfic, then got a good night's sleep.

whaddaya know, i finally have drive to edit. to create. to critically read my own dialogue and improve upon it.

rest! is! crucial!!! you do not need to be a content machine.

you must take care of yourself the way you would a friend with a reminder that fanfiction and fanart are hobbies, not jobbies, so you are not any less if you need a break for a day, a week, a month, a year.

[bbcradio1phil]

taking a photo and seeing the lines that grace the spot next to my eyes and thinking… wow i’m so lucky to have lived a life where i get to smile this much and love my friends this much… the way it’s so evident on my face

[will-grahams-stray-dog]

tell the queer people in your life you love them.

being trans is a horribly terrifying reality living in the america that we have to live in now, but we can’t give up. let yourself recharge, regroup, remember who your people are and how much you love each other. watch your favorite shows, eat good food, protect your peace, and make art, make SO MUCH ART. I know we are so tired of fighting and being resilient, I know that I am so so tired. so we have to let ourselves mourn and refuel our hearts and passion to come back and fight for each other, and the littler ones who can’t fight for themselves. be angry, let yourself be as angry as you need to be and let that be what gives you fight. and please please stay off of twitter and social media that triggers you, you’ll see things that will only shock your spirit. and to all of the young trans and queer people who are reading this, please stay here. I love you, and we are in this together. being trans is so beautiful, it can be so so beautiful and the people you meet and the community you can make is worth living for. lastly, i’ve been reminding myself of the trans people that came before us, who have gotten us to the places we are, and the liberation they have been fighting for all this time. all of the mom elder queers are also fighting for you, and they have been for all of us for a very long time. remember these things when you’re feeling like giving up, because we can make it through this. I love you and you are loved.

[confetti-critter]

We got off work an hour early and then I layed down on my hammock for a while then took a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong walk by the river! I saw 3 garter snakes, a little shrew looking fella, countless bumble bees and various other buges, various birds, and people being lovely! C:

Now I'm at home eating tuna melts (1 with cheddar, 1 with havarti, and 1 with marble chœse ) and crunchy, delicious raw carrots and cucumbers!

After eating I'm gunna take a hot bubblebath yippee!!!! Long weekend yayyyyyy I love you all!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

[butterflyeffectiooon]

Whenever I accidentally type ‘me’ instead of ‘my’ (which isn’t a lot but it does happen sometimes) I think of my childhood online best friend whose birthday is national talk like a pirate day, which I’m pretty sure I found out was a thing well after we lost communication, but still remembered was on her birthday and always will.

[owlf45]

Ole how do you survive with a sore throat and runny/clogged nose and headaches and the coughing it's horrible and torture how did you survive this long and not die are you the chosen one??

yes, I am the Chosen One of Long Past Ago 1000