#queer rights are worth fighting for

[p4nishers]

no BECAUSE it's a queer show about love ENDURING thru it all even when they're awful fucking people they will love each other and queer people deserve to be loved and waited for and wanted and we deserve to wear fine things well and it's a queer show and queer love story about two middle aged man who in their own way think they're unlovable while loving the other more than they could ever thought was possible and are you listening to me this is a queer LOVE STORY where love fucking endures and helps be the light in the darkness of pain and fucking love guides stede to ed bc they belong together no matter what and are you seeing this shit people??? are you???

[genderqueerdykes]

i love when intersex people try to talk about our issues people try to hit us with a "that doesn't count, that would be like 0.01% of the population you're talking about," ahh response, which I have personally received several times at this point.

everyone loves to be confident to pull some bullshit statistic out of their ass to be dismissive, but it's funny because they never do a second of research. the United Nations Human Rights Office estimates 1.7% of the population are born intersex:

even if the numbers were any lower, it would still be worth talking about intersex issues. any amount of people with these experiences are worth representing and discussing. we should not have to be invisible because our conditions are so stigmatized that many of us receive "Corrective" procedures just after birth, during childhood, or puberty. so many of us are swept under the rug, that's part of the reason why the statistics vary depending on which area is reporting the statistics.

you can't weaponize how marginalized someone is against them. if we fight for people with the most specific gender identities that can't be easily explained in one or two words, we must include intersex people. if we include people who use unique pronouns not seen in current common vernacular, we must support intersex people. if we support other queer minorities, we must support intersex people.

it's not an option. you can act like we are a statistic on a page, a number you can't possibly fathom in your mind, but we are all around you. everywhere. existing in real time. we are not fossils. we are not extinct.

you don't have the pleasure of ignoring us anymore. intersex rights are human rights, and sometimes, they're queer rights, too.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Rural queers, suburban queers, queers surrounded by hate, I may never be strong enough to live your life, but I stand in solidarity with you. you are welcome in spaces with me. lightspeed and stars' blessings to you. I send the same regards to rural/suburban poc and poc surrounded by hate, and it all goes doubly for those of both demographics.

white trans ppl from liberal suburbia in blue states will go on and on about how scary it is to be a trans person right now but the second they encounter a trans person from a red state they’ll be like “ummmmm why would you live in such an uncivilized place lmao maybe you shouldn’t have voted for republicans like if you don’t like how conservative it is then just leave” as if these states aren’t populated by black and brown people who face intense voter suppression and poor people who can’t just up and leave. not to mention the fact that all those articles y’all are sharing about the state of trans safety? those are in our states and we will be the ones who go down first. so instead of laughing at us dumb hicks from your liberal safe haven, consider instead shutting the fuck up and actually doing something to help us. because they’re coming for you next.

[makingqueerhistory]

Transgender Books For Your Libraries

I have said this before, but right now requesting and reading queer books from your local library is important. I want to take a second to say there is a direct attack against the transgender community around the globe, and it's worth your time to request and read transgender books. So, here are some transgender books to request:

(Some links are affiliate links and the money goes to Making Queer History's research fund)

People Change, Vivek Shraya

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity, Judith Butler

The Salt Grows Heavy, Cassandra Khaw

Transland: Consent, Kink, and Pleasure, MX Sly

Freshwater, Akwaeke Emezi

Amateur: A Reckoning with Gender, Identity, and Masculinity, Thomas Page McBee

The Subtweet, Vivek Shraya

Dark and Deepest Red, A. M. McLemore

A Psalm for the Wild-Built, Becky Chambers

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Fantabulous Memoir, Kai Cheng Thom

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir, Akwaeke Emezi

Dead Collections, Isaac Fellman

Disintegrate/Dissociate, Arielle Twist

Tell Me I'm Worthless, Alison Rumfitt

How to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your Life, Jeffrey Marsh

A Lady for a Duke, Alexis Hall

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality, Sarah McBride

The Perks of Loving a Wallflower, Erica Ridley

I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes from the End of the World, Kai Cheng Thom

We See Each Other: A Black, Trans Journey Through TV and Film, Tre'vell Anderson

Beyond the Gender Binary, Alok Vaid-Menon

[yandereunsolved]

— ✦ Yandere Targaryens w/ parental reader ✦ —

You do not blame the faults of their foremothers, for they were subjected to prejudice and soul-crushing torment by their forefathers. And for their forefathers you do not weep. You seek to change the damage done to this family—curse from the gods or not. No coin will be flipped. You have it now. 

If you knew the consequences of that, then perhaps you would have changed course. Stopped before you started. Never have stepped foot within the palace. But, alas, the gods have a cruel way of punishing you for your well-intended hubris.

Alicent and Rhaenyra, bless their injured souls, cling to you like molasses on the bark of a tree. They drink in your presence like Arbor red. And get just as intoxicated from it. You keep them together, soothe their woes, and tame the growing division inside the family.

It's exhausting. You don't get paid nearly enough. But bringing comfort to the scared children hidden inside every one of them brings you a nearly indescribable joy. They care for you in their odd way. A bit obsessive, perhaps. That is to be expected.

They are so cute with their queerness.

Aegon and Aemond vie for your attention like quarreling dragons. They shove each other and bicker. They undermine the other's authority. All for your love.

Aegon lays in your lap and sobs about his troubles. You tamp his hair down, tamping down his promiscuous habits. He visits whores less often. He's more attentive to his responsibilities. And he, honest to the gods, smiles. A genuine smile. It nearly made you burst into tears the first time you saw it.

Aemond is less demanding, more broody. He is used to being under Aegon's shadow. The child who listens, acts right, and never asks for anything more than he gets. He prefers reading with and/or to you. He stalks you, as if you can't tell. (You always assume you are being followed or watched at one time or another. It's the nature of the job.) By far his favorite pastime is you tending to him in such a tender manner, almost motherly. 

Brush his hair. Help him choose his clothes. Compliment his face and coo at how pretty he is.

"A missing eye is nothing of shame. You lived through it. You survived. And you have Vhagar. That proves how strong you are. But even without her, you are worthy. You have worth, more than any gold or gem."

To him you are worth more than his own life. His sword is coated in so much blood he can hardly see the metallic shine. Avenging you from people's grievances. It's the one time where Aegon and he agree. Protect you. Love you. Fight each other about you.

All Helaena asks is to have a modicum of your attention. Your praise. Your approval. You don't see her as some strange, otherworldly cook. You see her as her. You allow her to talk about her special interest, bugs. You don't shame her for stimming or getting overstimulated. You make sure the cooks get her food right every time. 

You are truly a godsend. And she does her best to keep you with her at all times. Manipulation, coercion, blackmailing. Those are such vile words. Love is the true word. The only word that describes why and what she does for you.

You, undoubtedly, are the steadfast parental figure Baela and Rhaena have been searching for. Cast out into the seas of life with a ship but no crew, they had not the faintest clue of where to sail. You are their crew, their second mate, their maester. They hang onto your every word as if it is a divine prophecy destined to be true.

You learn how to take care of their hair, similar to Aemond. You show them what little you know about the world. You are their anchor to normalcy. They can brave their storms while you are around. Be themselves. Not nobles or Targaryens, and all the baggage that comes with that.

You do it with Jacaerys and Lucerys. Bastards or not, they are worthy of love and respect. They'll always be Targaryens to you. It runs through their veins. You can tell. As they have the same overprotective and slightly frightening tendencies that the rest of their family has. You watch them spar. You learn the language of their ancestors along with them. You take care of their scrapes and mend their clothes.

You are theirs.

Anyone be damned who tries to take you from them. 

˙ . ꒷ 🔪 . 𖦹˙— ˙ . ꒷ 🔪 . 𖦹˙

tags — @bloodytea

[gor3sigil]

Also please do not fall into the "transandrophobia and anti masculinity in queer spaces is a terminally online issue" bs.

It isn't. It has real life consequences.

It's the reason why a lot of people who are masc leaning don't dare to go to their IRL queer spaces and/or are blatantly kicked out from them, or have their queerness scrutinized.

It's the reason why, and I know I say that in almost every post but please, listen ! It's the reason why so many people stay in the closet and are afraid of exploring their identity and/or afraid to come out. It's the reason why transmascs are deeply isolated and feel alienated when it comes to queer issues. No one is listening to us. Whatever the subject, nobody fights with us for our reproductive rights, our access to medical care, our access to HRT, safety and security for sex workers, suicide prevention, sexual violence, rapes. These subjects become issues worth talking about almost only when we're talking about "women and fems", as a lot of activists say.

Our deaths are ignored and unknown.

It's not only an issue you read about on Tumblr and Twitter, it's something to deeply rooted in real queer spaces that even within these spaces I've seen people look at me with suprise when I bring up the subject of transphobia targetting transmascs, like they didn't even think it existed, and yet, I see other transmascs falling like dominoes over the years, from suicide, from domestic abuse, from homelessness, for being murdered while working, and having their transness ripped aways from them after their died to fall into women's statistics and forgotten.

This isn't an online issue.

This is real.

[catfindr]

btw i dont care for exclusionists

aplatonics, aromantics, asexuals, afamilials, pansexuals, omnisexuals, polysexuals, enbies, nounself pronouns use, xenogender individuals, demigender individuals, demisexuals, agender individuals, third gender/sex individuals, queer people of color, intersex people, people who do drag, gender nonconforming people, pronoun nonconforming, people with contradictory identities, intersex people, altersex people, salamacians, unlabeled individuals, queerhets,

EVERYONE is welcome here. just because you might not understand someone elses identity, that does not mean its not worth fighting for their fundamental human rights to exist in a way that makes them happy.

always remember:

united we stand, divided we fall.

[nkjemisin]

The results of the election has been absolutely devastating and terrifying and I wanted to pop in and say thank you. Firstly, for what your work has meant to me over the years. Broken earth resonated with me in a way no other piece of media has. Essun has lived in me ever since I finished the series, and I hope to get a tattoo of her as a stone eater at some point. More relevantly to how I started this, however, I wanted to thank you because your work has given me solace twice over in dealing with the world right now. With the world feeling like it’s falling apart and the future so uncertain, thinking of broken earth reminded me that even when the world is ending around us there are still people and things worth fighting for. Secondly, nearly all of my comfort media deals with antfascist or antiracist themes, and it’s felt all either too real to engage with, or hopeful in a way that felt too bitter given the state of things. I had started relistening to the city we became just before the election, and I had to stop for a bit because the hope in that story felt like more than I could bear. I hesitantly picked it back up saturday as I was walking to meet someone, and it surprised me by having the opposite effect. Seeing all of us — queers, jews, people of color — at the forefront and fighting reminded me that we are out there, that we won’t give up, that while we live the fight is not yet over. So I just wanted to say thank you for giving me some much needed hope and strength in these bleak times.

I am always astonished, and honored, when people tell me my work has this kind of effect on them. Thank you. It's good to know I've helped, even if only in spirit, and even if only a little.

As for the rest -- yeah. I feel you. I'm going to forego sharing my own feelings about all this; they're too raw, and I express myself best through my fiction, anyway. But I resolved something a few days ago, and I'll at least share this: I am not letting these motherfuckers steal my joy. There is too much beauty in the world, and too many people who are worthy of my time and attention, for me to waste more time/energy than I must on people who aren't. I will protect whom I can including myself, fight back where I can, but I am also just going to live my goddamn life, because therein lies the fuel I need to keep fighting.

So if you're getting some of that fuel from my work, wonderful. Get more from wherever else you need to -- with caution as you must, but without guilt or fear.

Take care.

[acepalindrome]

I finally caught up with Witch Hat Atelier, and got punched in the face with the sudden realization that Kamome Shirahama’s writing reminds me of Terry Pratchett. Because under the fun and whimsy and beautiful art and fantastic world building, there is real anger for the way the world is.

It’s subtle at first, but it keeps building. The story keeps asking, isn’t it fucked up that disabled people don’t have access to the devices, accommodations and resources they need to live comfortable and fulfilling lives? Isn’t it fucked up that education is denied to the people who could benefit the most from it? Isn’t it fucked up that even powerful and highly respected disabled people are still subjected to the humiliations of ableism? Isn’t it fucked up that there’s virtually no way to climb out of poverty? Isn’t it fucked up that queer couples are denied the same rights as straight couples when it comes to matters like healthcare? Isn’t it fucked up when sexual abuse is ignored because the perpetrator has money and influence? Isn’t it fucked up when laws are enforced with absolutely no room for nuance and no acknowledgement of how the law hurts the most vulnerable people?

The story keeps asking these questions, and then starts to answer with yes! It IS fucked up! And we’re going to try to do something about it! None of this can be solved quickly or easily or neatly, but we’re still going to fucking try! We’re not just going to accept things as they are!

Witch Hat Atelier says yes, there’s so much wrong with the world, and you’ll discover more and more of it as you grow up. And it’s easy to feel buried under the despair and helplessness of what feels like an impossible situation. But you can push back against it. You can say, ‘no, this isn’t right.’ You can fight in any little way you can, and it matters.

Terry Pratchett’s works are so dear to me in part because they have that anger, but also the hope that it’s always worth it to fight for a better world. And it’s such a joy to find another writer who is doing something very similar. There’s anger, but there’s hope, and a real, beating human heart under everything.

[ajaxbell]

Fangs of Fortune (Bai Ze Ling): perfect on pure aesthetics alone, but also it will tear your heart out while being very gay.

I was lured in to this show by Tumblr gifsets and friends on Bluesky talking about how queer and poly this show is. I'm old and I've been in fandom more than half my life. I know how to read queer subtext. I'm also pretty well versed in cdramas, so again, I know how to read subtext. So I went into this ready to, well, read the subtext.

But no this show is just puts the queer it right there in the text. The vague information we have about Chinese censorship repeatedly left me asking, 'wait how are they getting away with this?' Like some of these jokes and implications are just so blatant it seems incredible this show ever made it to being broadcast. It just feels very much like queer media made for queer people even if t's more subtle than something western like Queer as Folk.

Even without the heavy coloring of gay this show is incredible and so much more than I expected from the title and the promo. The premise is essentially the death of the goddess, who governed relations between humans and demons, leads to an influx of demons in the human world. This brings together the goddess's disciple, Wen Xiao--seeking to restore the goddess's power. WX's childhood sweetheart, Zhuo Yichen--seeking to restore the demon-hunting bureau after the powerful demon Zhu Yan killed his father and brother. It opens on Zhu Yan, in human disguise as as Zhao Yuanzhou, volunteering to help the imperial court restore the demon-hunting bureau to quell the chaos. They are joined by Pei Sijing, a retired female general from the rival demon hunting sect, and a very young doctor (and comic relief) named Bai Jiu. It starts off as a sort of monster-of-the-week with a grim Scooby gang doing detective work and fighting monsters. Each major demon has a mini arc that relates to the larger case (restoring the power of the goddess to balance the realms), and they are repeatedly blocked by either the demons or the rival demon hunting sect. Each mini arc also acts as a mirror or parallel story to slowly revealed backstory of all the main characters as well. In true cdrama fashion it's a mix of adventure, intense emotional drama, romance, and comedy. And queer and poly jokes and romance. It also has a kind of manga vibe in the way the comedy is woven into the more serious story, and in the fantastical depiction of the characters and how the story unfolds.

It is also just insanely beautiful. Every single shot is lovely. The costumes, make up, and hair are incredible. The casting director made all the major demons inhumanly beautiful. The sets are spectacular. The effects are nicely done. Every bit of has the vague surreality of a fairytale. The perfection of each shot ads to the manga vibe, as if we're seeing each critical storytelling panel come alive. There's recurring water-based special effects that are just gorgeous. Based on aesthetics alone this show would be worth watching to me. That it is combined with a complex, very emotional story is a spectacular gift to the watcher. A lot of the negative reviews of this complain about the staginess or that it's overly contrived in how each scene is shot. But I think it's gorgeous, works perfectly with the storytelling, and if we criticize art on whether it achieves the goal it intended then this show is doing exactly and perfectly what it means to do and doing it beautifully.

Additionally the acting is also very good, but Neo Hou is the stand out for sure. I enjoyed him in Back from the Brink, especially the later part of the story, but in Fangs of Fortune he's transformed, utterly embodying the role, the way Dylan Wang is Dongfang Qingcang in Love Between Fairy and Devil. Neo Hou has the right look, a slightly uncanny beauty perfect for a gorgeous immortal not of this world. The show does incredible things with his styling between the various looks and personas the role requires. But in acting he somehow manages to utterly transform his face and demeanor to manifest each aspect of the character as story demands changes from him.

There is a lot of crying in this drama. Like early on I joked that there was going to be a character crying a single perfect tear in every ep. Lol nope. Multiple single perfect tears per ep and many outright full on sobbing scenes. This show is just waiting to rip your heart out and you see it right from the beginning. But it was such sweet pain all the way through. Just a truly engaging and utterly wrenching set of intertwined stories.

My only criticism is that the pacing falls apart in the last 3 episodes. But overall the story is solid through the end, though like so many cdramas, it's saved by the epilogue.

You should absolutely watch it if you want the chaotic bi polycule (it's her, her girlfriend, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's boyfriend who is also her boyfriend, their two idiot sons, and her boyfriend's ex-who is also eventually sort of his boyfriend again), or if you want your heart torn out and stomped on. Or even if you just like really gorgeous cinematic things. Also if you watch, please don't skip the ending credits, as they change as the arcs change, and the radiant joy Tian Jiarui has as he dances is an excellent antidote to the emotions of each episode.

[pitchsidestories]

treat you better (2) II Ingrid Engen x Mapi León x Reader

part 1 I masterlist I word count: 1438

a/n: Hi, we hope you'll love part two as much as part 1 and thanks to @briggtea for sending us the idea for the oneshot.

You stumbled upon that podcast snippet accidentally while scrolling bored through Instagram while your girlfriends were getting ready for bed in the bathroom of the hotel room you were staying in. Nights before big Champions League games always made you feel a bit restless.  It was a queer podcast about sports you enjoyed, that’s why you clicked on it, but you couldn’t stop watching it when you noticed the guest was your ex-girlfriend.

In the scene the host asked her grinning:” How would you rate y/n on a scale from 1 to 10?”

“Maybe a two if I’m being nice.”, your former lover replied with a smug smile on her lips, you wished you could take away from the fellow footballer.

“Oh wow, seems like you got an unpopular opinion here, the internet goes crazy for her.”, the interviewer whistled impressed by the reply of your ex-girlfriend.

“The internet’s falling for her looks. She’s not that great to be with.”, she shrugged.

“So, the rumours are true, you two were together?”, the host curiously lifted an eyebrow at her.

“Maybe. All I can say is that she wasn’t very committed.”, the football player answered laughing which was obviously a blatant lie. After all she was the one who cheated around in London not the other way around.

“That’s bullshit!”, Mapi yelled furiously before ripping the phone out of her hands to throw it on to the bed.

“Babe.”, Ingrid tried soothing your Spanish girlfriend with her calm voice.

“She’s basically gaslighting her!”, the defender protested enraged, shaking off the hand the Norwegian had laid on her shoulder.

“Maria, relax. I know she does, and we’ll prove her wrong on the pitch tomorrow.”, you told her calmly.

 “On the pitch? She’s going around spreading rumours about you when she was the one who cheated on you!”, Mapi snorted angrily.

“No, you don’t understand, amor. She’ll hate losing against us.”, you pointed out.

“I believe you that, but I’d like to hurt her in in more ways than just that.”, she hissed, sounding almost like Bagheera when he was ready to fight whatever caught the cat’s eyes.

“I appreciate it, but trust me, she’s not worth it. Come on we should go to bed.”, you assured her in a soft tone.

“Fine.”, the Spanish player sighed, exhaustion was catching up with her. Quickly she and Ingrid laid down, you were in their middle.

“Sleep well, my loves.”, Ingrid gave each of you a good night kiss.

“Good night, girls.”, you whispered, once again feeling very lucky to have them in your life.

“Night.”, Mapi mumbled, already half-asleep. Sleep took the three of you in quick succession.

You tried to focus on yourself as best as you could while you got ready for the game. Ignore the noise, forget about your ex. There was just you and the game in front of you.

Even the chatter of your teammates faded into the background until something touched your elbow.

“Y/n?“

You looked up to Alexia studying your face.

“Yes, Capi?“

“Do you feel ready?“, she asked.

You watched a small line between her eyebrows as she frowned.

Nodding once, you replied: “Ready and focused.“

“Good.“

“Don’t worry.“, you assured her and forced yourself to a smile.

Alexia shook her head, considering you: “I just don’t want you to do anything stupid out there.“

“I won’t. You know I’m not the type such behaviour.“

“I’m just saying…“

You sighed, locking eyes with her: “Promise.“

This seemed to relax your captain. She nodded slowly and then clapped her hands: “Alright, let’s win this then.“

“Please.“, you agreed. You refused to imagine your ex cheering with her teammates.

Ingrid squeezed your hand as she passed you: “Come on.“

“Coming.“, you smiled back at her.

Mapi appeared on your side right as you were about to walk out on the pitch. She nodded into the direction of a very familiar ponytail: “There she is.“

Apparently, she had felt your gaze on her because in that exact moment, she turned around and flashed you a bright smile.

You swallowed hard as she walked towards you, all innocence: “Hi.“

“Hi, good luck.“, you answered plainly.

“You’ll need it more.“, she smirked.

It took you a lot not to roll your eyes about her arrogance. Instead you shrugged: “I think you’re wrong about this.“

You jogged onto the field to warm up, leaving her behind to watch.

The first half of the game remained calm as you had expected. Both teams testing the waters, not risking too much that early in the game. Barcelona had more chances but had not used them yet. You know you had to be more clinical in the next fourty-five minutes.

In the second half, the whole game changed. It got rougher, more aggressive and you had your problems with that.

It was more than frustration, it was pure anger. Your exes smug grin, the unnecessary fouls by the other team, the unsuccessful attacks. You just wanted to scream.

You took a deep breath and gathered yourself, there was no use. You had to stay focused.

It worked until the seventieth minute. Chelsea was on attack but Mapi won the ball easily. She hesitated for a half a second before passing it to Lucy.

Your ex saw this moment of hesitation as an opportunity. She wanted to win the ball back with a slide tackle but her timing was off. She crashed into Mapi, her studs colliding with your girlfriends ankle.

Mapi was on the grass, screaming in pain while your ex got up, unfazed by the incident. There was not even an apology.

Ingrid was already kneeling beside your girlfriend when you ran over to them.

“Shit.“, the Spanish defender cursed under her breath.

“Mapi, are you okay?!”, you asked her deeply worried.

“Yeah.”, she answered through gritted teeth.

“I swear she did it intentionally. I’m going to.”, you begun.

But a firm, big hand prevented you from walking up to your former girlfriend.

“No, you’re not doing anything.”, Alexia interrupted you, her voice dripping with determination.

“Stay calm and carry on, y/n.”, Marta added.

“But.”, you started.

“Score the winning goal for us.”, Aitana suggested with a wink, hoping it would stop you from doing something stupid.

“It doesn’t work like that, Aitana.”, you reminded her.

“Maybe it does.”, she replied encouragingly. While your gaze followed a hurt Mapi who got subbed off. A spark of extra motivation hit you when you saw that. Maybe the Catalan midfielder was right about that.

It was the last minute of the game when your chance arrived to turn the draw into a win, Caroline played a cross to you which you only had to head in with your head. It was a goal, Barcelona has won once more against the English team.

Aitana jumped into your opened arms.” See? I told you so.”, she cheered.

“There’s no fucking way.”, you could hear your ex-girlfriend scolding, shooting mad glances at you from afar, but you couldn’t care less.

As the referee blew the final whistle you sprinted to the bench where Ingrid and Mapi were the first to pull you into a group hug.

“We won girls!”, you laughed happily.

“You were amazing.”, the Spanish defender whispered proudly into your ear.

“And your goal was amazing.”, the tall dark-haired woman beamed at you.

“Thank you. Have you seen her face after I scored?”, you wanted to know from them with a hint of malicious joy.

“She deserved that.”, Mapi noted.

“How are you feeling? Her foul looked bad.”, you suddenly remembered, looking concerned at your girlfriend.

“I’m okay. She went right for the ankle, but it’s not too bad.” she calmed you.

“At least that.”, you let out a sigh of relief.

“Don’t worry about me.”, the heavily tattooed woman said.

“Come on, girls, time to celebrate that win properly.”, Ingrid intervened smiling.

“Yes, y/n deserves it.”, Mapi agreed smirking.

“And we make sure she gets her reward for her great game and her bravery.”, the Norwegian continued delighted.

“Oh, we’ll.”, your other girlfriend shared a knowing glance with her.

“Girls.”, you blushed listening to their words.

“We’re just proud of you.”, Ingrid declared.

“And we’ll show you how proud later tonight.”, the defender winked.

“We can’t just leave now.”, you protested, pointing to the rest of their teammates who were still celebrating.

“No one will notice trust us.”, the Scandinavian argued.

“Alright, let’s go.”, you give in, knowing fully well that your girlfriends would always treat you better than your former lover. And the night had just begun, it was set to be unforgettable.

[genderkoolaid]

Can you explain a sentence from your bio? "To create loving males, you must love males"? I don't understand that sentence, because like does that work for all oppressive groups? "To create loving white people, we must love white people" or "to create loving straight people, we must love straight people". That doesn't make much sense to me, especially since women do this all the time. Women always make excuses for men's behavior, give them the benefit of the doubt, are empathetic and sensitive to men and make tons of posts on the internet about male positivity and yet men still commit 80-90% of violent crimes (from what I remember). And I'm not trying to argue or anything, it's a genuine question. How is being kind to men going to bring about the collective liberation of women from the patriarchy?

So this quote needs to be understood in the context of both the book it comes from (The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love) and bell hooks' philosophy of love in general. Here's the full paragraph it comes from:

“Only a revolution of values in our nation will end male violence, and that revolution will necessarily be based on a love ethic. To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an antipatriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.”

People often see this quote or another one and assume a lot about bell hooks' point here, but The Will to Change includes her own experiences of abuse by men and her experiences with misogyny, alongside her observations about how men in her life experienced patriarchal abuse. She is not ignorant of the harms done to women when she says this.

My personal interpretation of her words is this:

The patriarchal expectations relating to how women are expected to "love" men is very different than what bell hooks means to love. Her concept of love requires self-love and self-care, and not being a doormat or adopting a "I can singlehandedly fix that incel by being nice to him!" mindset.

And, equally, how we are taught to "love" men is not good for men either. The patriarchy promises love to men in exchange for appropriate performance of dominance. It says that there are "real men" and "fake men" and only real men are deserving of love. It says that men must be constantly fighting each other, women, and queers in order to be deserving of love and escape punishment. bell hooks' argument is that we as feminists need to see inherent worth in men as people, and reject those patriarchal notions of what makes men worthy as well as the doomerist radfem impulse to label all men as evil and sever all connection forever. Men are people, and women are people, and we are all people in society together, and we always will be, so we need to be able to work together to create loving communities. Whether men are your friends, lovers, relatives, neighbors, patients, students, etc. you do live in a society with them!!! And we (intersectional / revolutionary feminism) cannot win without them. Not just as quiet allies on the side but as meaningful co-conspirators, fellow feminists with just as much a stake in the fight as any woman.

You can read this short chapter of one of her books where she explores love ethic in politics specifically relating to race.

[genderqueerdykes]

the easiest way to tell if someone knows literally jack shit about lesbian history & community is if they try to tell you masc, male, ftm, genderfluid, multigender, genderqueer and/or non binary lesbians don't and can't exist. it's saying you haven't interacted with the lesbian community & its history outside of small isolated internet circles without ever having to even say it. you might claim that lesbians can't be men, mascs, multigender or non binary, but our history & community loudly and proudly states otherwise.

no matter how many times you tell people transmasculine, male, masc, genderfluid, genderqueer and nonbinary lesbians can't be lesbians, we will always be here to prove that's not the case. you can say it until you're blue in the face, it won't change reality. it doesn't matter what you believe a lesbian "should" be, it will never change reality. ideals don't work like that. you can think and think and think about what you Want a lesbian to be all day long, but that doesn't control anyone else who identifies as a lesbian.

you can sit there and bitch and moan and cry about how lesbianism is for women ONLY and that won't change our rich history of male, genderfluid, genderqueer, ftm, masc and genderfucked lesbians. no matter how much it pisses you off that these people exist, we will continue to do so for the rest of time. you can throw a fit, but it doesn't change how people identify in practice. sure you can sit there and say the Ideal lesbian is a 100% cis woman, but we don't live in an ideal world. we don't live in an isolated bubble

real life is complex and nuanced. you can sit there and spitball about queer theory all you want, but it's not going to change how complicated real identities are. it doesn't matter if it bugs you that there are lesbians out there that aren't women. what should be more important is caring about that person and making sure they're accepted. someone who is more invested in telling you what lesbians CAN'T be than what we CAN be is not here for queer COMMUNITY. they're here to try to be right and die on a hill and it's not worth our time. "lesbians can't ever be men ever" is not a hill to die on. it's historically inaccurate and it's just not worth stressing over. move on to greener pastures.

you personally as a lesbian don't like the idea of a lesbian man and don't want to date them? i have fantastic news for you: you don't have to! you can accept lesbian men and mascs even if you're not attracted to them. whether or not someone's identity is taken seriously shouldn't hinge on whether or not you personally are attracted to them. that's not your business, and not your experience. you're not the arbiter of that lived experience- you have no room to comment.

lesbian men, mascs & enbies are not your enemy: we are your family. we have been fighting for lesbian rights since the inception of the modern community. this community has been built off the backs of ftm, transmasc and male dykes and you can't ignore us any longer. if YOU want to be in the lesbian community, you have to understand that there will be people with identities you don't like. you don't have the right to tell them they're not a lesbian. it doesn't matter whether or not YOU like it- their identity is not about you.

[typophobia-hijinks]

Hey, reminder to all American queer, POC, disabled, along with any and all other groups affected:

It will be okay.

Get some sleep.

Do not kill yourself.

This is an incredibly sensitive time for a lot of people, you need to stick together. Don't give the old cunt what he wants. He wants you gone. Fight back, even in small ways. But the most important thing to do right now is to be there for each other.

Please for the love of everything worth loving, protect yourselves, your friends, your family and other loved ones. This world needs you. This isn't an apocalypse, don't let it become one.

I am not American, I will not be as directly affected as you guys. Please know that you are not alone in this. Stay strong, stay safe.

I love you all and wish you so much luck.

♥️

[webanglikethat]

to every single queer person out there—trans, gay, bi, pan, ace, nonbinary, however you identify—let me just say this: I am so, so fucking sorry. SO, SO, SO FUCKING SORRY. I am furious. I’m pissed off beyond words. english seems like a forgotten skill as I'm typing this. I am so sorry.

we never deserved this. we never fucking deserved this.

I am sorry that you’ve been betrayed like this, that we’ve all been betrayed like this. I’m sorry that SO MANY of our damn votes weren’t counted, like we don’t even matter. like we’re just numbers on a page that they can toss out without a thought. like we can just be erased, as if we do not exist, like we’re puzzle pieces that don’t fit into their perfect picture, so they just throw us out, discarded, like we were never there in the first place. I’m sorry she just conceded, just gave up. left us hanging. just handed us over like we’re some afterthought, like we’re collateral damage in this disgusting twisted fucking game. as if our lives, our rights, everything we fought for, meant nothing. she just rolled over and let us get steamrolled, like we’re just noise, just numbers on a page, just nothing worth fighting for. do they even care that real people, people who trusted her, who put their hopes in her, are being crushed by this? and not only in the US. we ALL believed in her. and ... she ... just ... she was gone. just like that. and we’re the ones who have to pay the price. we’re the ones left with our futures on the line, wondering what rights we’ll have tomorrow, if we’ll even be safe tomorrow. and she just… gave it all up. handed us over to people who are hell-bent on erasing us, who’ve been clear from day one about what they think of us, what they want to take away. how do we even make sense of that? how do we believe in ANYONE? how can you abandon us in the lion's den and yet demand compassion and trust? to trust in the very hands that have left us to bleed, to burn, to fight alone?

we deserve better. we deserved someone who would stand with us when it mattered, who wouldn’t just throw in the towel and walk away when things got tough. we’re not just collateral. we’re not disposable. we’re human beings with lives, with love, with the right to exist without fear. we aren't statistics, diagrams, names forgotten on a wall. we are queer, and we are real. and she ... just left us to face down a nightmare she knows damn well is coming. so how dare they tell us to “keep faith” when they’ve shown us that our lives were never worth the fight to them. we needed someone who would dig in and say, “no, you can’t have them. not now, not ever.” and instead? we were left out in the cold to fend for ourselves. like always. like fucking always. and this isn’t just some political setback for us. this is our lives, our right to exist. we’ve fought and bled and stood through hell just to claim an inch of ground to live openly, to love who we love, and to be who we are. we deserved so much more than empty promises. and we won’t forget this.

right now, it feels like every warning, every fear we’ve had has come to life in the worst way. and let’s be real—what’s next is terrifying. I will not sugarcoat it. rights are going to be stripped away, our existence denied, our safety threatened. trump hasn’t hidden it; he’s promised it. this was supposed to be our home too. but they’re pushing us out, forcing us to hide. so please, if you need to, go back into the closet. change states if that’s what it takes. hell, think about leaving the country if you can, because it’s becoming clear that staying might mean risking everything. you do not owe anyone anything, just think of yourself first. you are your own priority.

and god .. Love. Love—something so pure, something so simple—has been twisted into a reason for others to hate us, to fear us, to hurt us. we were never supposed to be the ones people saw as a “threat.” that label should belong to hatred, to racism, to homophobia, to everything that has poisoned this world. but instead, somehow we are the ones they call dangerous. we are the ones they want to erase. and it’s maddening. what kind of world are we living in, where the fight to just exist is an endless battle? was it not love that led Eve to take that fateful bite, trusting in the bond she shared with Adam? and if love is the foundation upon which humanity was built, how can we be faulted for following its lead? of all the things we could hate, and we chose love.

if this moment feels like it’s too much, if it feels like everything you’ve fought for, every piece of yourself you’ve worked to own, every right, every dream, every bit of safety is collapsing around you -- I get it. I feel it in my bones. it feels like drowning, like being swallowed whole by a storm that never ends. the shore seems so far away. but listen to me: don’t you fucking dare let them break you. don’t let them get that satisfaction. don’t give them that power. we are not here to let monsters erase us. we’re here to outlast every single one of them. we’re here to survive and thrive. we are queer, we are real, we exist, we will continue to exist.

their power, their hatred, their cruelty—it won’t last forever. I know it's difficult to see the light at the end of this tunnel. but they are the ones who don’t belong in a world built on compassion, on love, on freedom. You are the real thing. You are here. You deserve to be here, and you deserve to feel safe, loved, and free.

if you’re feeling like there’s no point anymore, if this all feels like it’s too damn much to take, please just hang on. this fight is brutal, and sometimes it feels like it never ends. but I’m begging you—don’t give up. don’t let them have that final victory. don’t let them silence your voice, your light, your life. scream, cry, punch walls, call someone, reach out, hold on to whatever will keep you here another day, another hour. do whatever you have to do to survive this moment. because you’re needed. we need you. the world needs you.

you might not see it now, but you are a part of something big, something powerful, something they wish they could destroy but never will. you’re part of a legacy of resilience, of love, of defiance against hatred. every queer person, every person who has ever had to stand up against a world that told them they shouldn’t exist, that they should be crucified, erased, beaten up, has carried that legacy forward, passed it down so we could be here. so you could be here. and they did not survive all they did, did not fight, did not sacrifice so much just for us to lose hope. we’re still here because others fought and held on. now, it’s our turn. we owe it to them, to ourselves, to hold on with everything we have, to fight with everything in us.

and one day, I promise you, I truly pinkie promise you, that you’re going to wake up in a world that has moved beyond these hateful voices. one day, you will wake up in a world that sees you, that values you, where you don’t have to fight just to exist. you deserve to live in it, to walk in the sunlight without fear, without shame. they don’t get to take that from you. they don’t get to erase you. they don’t get to win.

this moment is hard. it’s beyond hard. but you, every single one of you, are worth it. you are not alone in this fight. you are surrounded by countless others who feel this too, who know this pain, who are holding on right alongside you.

so please, hold on. you belong, and nothing they do can change that. they cannot snuff out your light. they cannot erase your legacy. they cannot undo the love you were born to spread.

stay. fight like hell. be louder, be prouder, be everything they tell you not to be. because you are worth every ounce of this battle. and we will see the day they’re gone. we will make it through.

we too shall rise from the ashes.

to my queer family, my phoenix.

[certifiablyinsanez]

Mammon is great ace representation: an essay on aphobia in the Hellaverse fandom

I’m seeing a lot of people be mad about Mammon having a thing for Leviathan. And I’m going to need the fandom to step back and examine these issues, because they are 100% rooted in aphobia. I have been out as an oriented aroace person for over 10 years if you want to doubt my credentials, rather than listen to my analysis, lived experience and reflect.

So. Tell me Hellaverse fandom; why, when it comes to Alastor, who is a character who very clearly has zero interest in others, it is always a chorus of people saying “aces can have sex”, “aces can enjoy sex”, “it’s not harmful to the ace community to use Alastor for shipping material, he isn’t real and asexuality and aromanticism is a huge spectrum”, “Aroace people can still date and have sex”?

But when it comes to Mammon, he is “bad asexual representation”, he “clearly experiences sexual attraction”, “he can’t be demisexual”, etc.

No genuinely, why is this? I want you to examine this, think on it from a place of neutral examination and come to your own conclusions. Because this is a worrisome double standard. This can for starters, be an instance of fat phobia. Because out of the two of them, Alastor is thin, and therefore closer to the beauty standard, which is hysterical considering that Alastor canonically has horrible hygiene, and I don’t think I know a single person who thinks that stank ass body and breath is attractive. Mammon, as seen from the slovenly way he eats, can potentially be assumed to have poor hygiene as well, but it has a very different connotation because of his weight. [Research the connection between thin privilege and body odor/hygiene. It’s very real].

I can spend a lot of time and energy going into the shipping dynamics between the shows, as well as how Alastor is a more “shippable” character in comparison to Mammon, but I honestly don’t find this as interesting or as compelling as to what I’m about to say next.

Because aphobia in the real world is still very alive and well today. In my 10+ years of being in the ace community, I have genuinely spent a lot of emotional energy, time, knowledge, experience, and compassion, just fighting for the right to even be acknowledged as queer. I have vivid memories from when I was first out of the closet at the age of 16, telling ace people across apps and forums that they were valid, that they weren’t broken, that they were deserving of love, respect, and a place in the queer community. I was telling people, younger, my age, and older that they shouldn’t kill themselves, that they had worth beyond what they could do in the bedroom for others. I had to convince people that they didn’t owe anyone sex, and that they were in fact being sexually abused by their partners. I was on the phone with people in tears. I spent HOURS of my life in these DMs at an age where I was a suffering, mentally ill queer child that was also being victimized by aphobia. Still to this day people think the “A” stands for ally. And still to this day people have discord about our community as a whole. I have had to sit and watch as people went from loudly proclaiming with their whole chest that asexual people didn’t exist, or at the very least weren’t queer. Then years went by and it became less and less okay to say things like that, because asexual people finally had fought long enough and had supported each other enough that we discovered our voices and began to use them. So people were finally facing the consequences of saying bigoted shit.

And now that they can’t say that asexuals aren’t queer, they moved on to another group. Demisexuals. Demisexuals by far have it roughest, because while there are many micro labels in our community to explain our diverse range of experiences, demisexual is probably the most well known one. And every handful of months or so I have to use my voice once again to stand up for my people, because an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and people on the internet have made it clear that they have no qualms of attacking us. The asexual and aromantic community have made extremely valuable contributions to the queer community that are entirely overlooked because we are not valued in it.

And this is why I have been an outspoken proponent of my displeasure over Alastor being a character that is the most shipped with others, and my disdain for the fanbase has grown even wider after Mammons appearance in Mastermind. It is a painful reminder of all the discrimination I’ve faced over the years, that my community still goes through. Because people are contrarians. Alastor is canonically asexual, and other aspects of his character are reflective of aromanticism as well. Well, the fanbase doesn’t like this so much. If you genuinely pay attention, you’ll notice this is a trend with a lot of other aroace characters. My favorite example is Peridot from Steven Universe, a canonical aroace character. In the show, Peridot goes through a lot of unlearning and growth. The scene where she tries to fuse with Garnet has massive implications for a few reasons. Because one, she is genuine in her desire to understand Garnet, and fusion better. And two, fusion while forbidden on Homeworld, is commonplace and normal in the Crystal Gems. As a Crystal Gem, she feels this is what is now expected of her. This is a major experience in the aspec community, as living in a cis heteronormative society means that sex, marriage and children are all things expected of each individual, which is dangerous and harmful ideology to everyone, asexual/aromantic people as well. Peridot couldn’t go through with the fusion, but that didn’t stop the fandom salivating, and foaming at the mouth over a potential Lapis/Peridot fusion. People were genuinely mad at Rebecca Sugar for never making that pairing canon, when they had absolutely no right to behave the way they did. Let’s not forget how the fans also misgendered Rebecca Sugar constantly. It was absolutely bigoted.

This is happening with Alastor. Fans feel entitled to ship him with whomever, an entitlement that is not seen with other characters. When people ship Vaggie with Angel, there is backlash, and for good reason. Because people understand that despite the fact that Vivienne Medrano said people can ship whatever, shipping a gay man with a woman and a gay woman with a man is…gross. It is wrong, it is disrespectful of their identities, and is forcing heteronormativity onto characters that are strict in their sexualities. Most people are able to recognize the thinly veiled homophobia. But Alastor does not receive the same treatment, and in fact receives the opposite treatment. I don’t know what I could say to convince you that the aroace coded character in a show being the #1 most shipped is thinly veiled aphobia the same way Vaggie x Angel is thinly veiled homophobia.

Now what does that have to do with Mammon? Mammon seems to not be aroace coded like Alastor, and for some reason, that has thoroughly pissed people off. Because Mammon is not the “acceptable” caricature of an asexual person. Most allosexual (non-asexual and/or aromantic people) view being asexual as being synonymous with being aromantic, which shows a painful lack of understanding and at times respect for the diversity of our community. Alastor fits this category, so he’s an “acceptable asexual”, while also essentially being a toy for shippers. But Mammon, with his clear attraction to Leviathan, is a “bastardization” of the asexual image. When we aren’t being viewed as broken, we’re often being viewed as chaste, virginal, and innocent with attachments to infantilization. But Mammon, with his aggressive and even icky approach to flirting with Leviathan, is seen as a subversion of this, which for people who don’t understand our community, hate. And these people are blaming Vivienne for having “terrible ace rep” when in actuality, having multiple ace characters having very little in common is actually fantastic rep. Because there are many labels in our community that Mammon can fit into as an asexual. To me, he looks like a sex-positive, high libido, demisexual. He’s known Leviathan for thousands of years, of course it makes sense that he would be into her, but not into anyone else which would explain why his “posse” are just female robots. This could also be because of his classism, but I genuinely think that he’s just demisexual. And you already know how people feel about demisexuals.

If you’ve read this far and have genuinely set aside your biases and personal feelings like I requested in the beginning, I appreciate that. Because from my own lived experience, the double standard between Alastor and Mammon doesn’t annoy me; it frightens me.

Because what the fandom is actually saying when they do these things is this:

“We see you as a homogenous group. Your voices go in one ear and out the other. If you don’t conform to our values and standards, we won’t give you the respect or recognition you deserve. If you don’t conform to my view of your group, you lose my “allyship”. We do not see your identity as a sexuality in its own right, but rather a literary device we can play with. I do not care to learn more about your community, your culture, or your struggles. I barely (if at all) acknowledge you as your own sexual minority and marginalized group. I barely acknowledge (if at all) that you are queer at all. I do not care about your feelings about societal biases that I might carry, I don’t care about how you’ve lived it, because it takes away my fun and fantasies. Because I devalue your group as a whole, your voices mean little. Your narrative is mine to do with as I please.”

I really hope you can see my perspective and understand the sincere place this comes from. Thanks for reading.