#transphobia recovery

[virtueisdead]

A transphobe was bitching in general chat about ‘the woke mob pretending there's not only two genders’ and I left an explanation of the reasons they are wrong, which led to this beautiful and wholesome exchange with someone I've never met before! (Doon was not the transphobe in question, tjat was Spider Byte!)

[ Image Transcriptions:

Image 1: User Doon says “tbh i thought there was only two genders until i saw this conversation” followed by a staring emoji, in response to my prior explanation of the difference in gender and sex.

Image 2: I reply “Hahaha, it's okay! It's way more important to be willing to learn than to be confidently wrong!”

Image 3: User Doon replies “True. A lot of people are so sure of themselves.”

Image 4: I reply “I remember when I was out to eat with my father once and we ended up getting on the topic of gender because my big sister is trans and he was struggling to understand her friends despite having nonbinary stuff explained to him and the look on his face when it finally clicked in his head was really relieving and exciting! I'm firmly for longer tables over higher walls. Civil discussion is a wonderful thing, even with people you struggle to understand! Sometimes, people may simply be wrong, but its worth a talk in the off chance you might learn about a perspective from which you've never looked at the world!”

Image 5: I state in reply to another person who expressed their agreement “One of the most memorable experiences of my life was when I was at a party with a libertarian who obviously disagrees with me on a lot of things, but we were both excited to learn about the way other people view the world and we had a wonderful chat while we took a walk together and explained our perspectives and philosophies and how we developed them and what they mean to us... it was a wonderful night.”

End ID. ]

[intersexfairy]

it's been so hard for me as a trans man these past few years. unfortunately the internet has had a huge hand in that. i won't get into it too much from that angle, but i will tell you how i felt, and still feel.

i feel like the scum of the earth, a lot of the time. like im betraying women, like i can't be proud and happy. like there's something gross about me, irredeemable and unwanted. like my pain and joy don't matter. like i need to conform as much as i physically can - and run away from who i really am.

that led me down a really dark road. addiction, psych wards, suicidality, the whole nine yards. im 117 days sober today, and i'd be lying to you if i told you it's sunshine and rainbows. it's not. but it is so much better. im finally getting the clarity of mind to look at myself again, trying to discover myself for the first time.

that's scary as hell, but the good news is, if i reconnect with myself, things can get better. and you know what? i don't deserve that - i need that. being my true self isn't something i need to earn, or prove. it's something to be experienced and felt and valued. self-actualization is a human need.

so to any other trans men who have struggled with who they are, whether it expressed itself as it did in me or not, i want you to know you're not alone. you're not, and you shouldn't be. you are allowed to exist, just as you are, right here in this moment. all the things you've been through matter. all the things you've yet to experience matter. you matter.

our suicide rates are absymally high, and we need to stick together. all of us, not just trans men. there is family out there for us. we can find love and compassion and freedom and joy. and other people, whether online or not, cannot change that. the world is so much bigger than the hate that's out there. there's so much life to be lived.

there is so much love waiting for you. i hope you stick around to find it. i'd promise to be with you to do that, but i can't. i will tell you though, i will try my damned hardest to become my best self. not just for me, but for you. for you, for you, for you. i love you, man. and one day you'll love yourself too. so will i.

be as honest, open, and willing as you can. hold on tight to hope, even if only for the ride. one day you won't regret it.

[thestarlightforge]

Your friendly holiday reminder:

It is normal to draw and maintain firm boundaries with (and/or hate) people who have abused you.

You are not being absurd, dramatic, “too emotional,” or a ruiner of anything.

You deserve safety, and to be surrounded by people who know, love and accept you for who you are.

Signed,

Your Fellow in Perseverance

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I have 2 separate questions that are unrelated but share a subject matter.

Would a woman omega or trans man omega who was infertile/sterile be allowed at Hillview?

And 2) Have you thought or would you ever write an mm pairing where one of them was a trans man?

I'm trans masc and I find it so hard to find good trans fics that deal with trauma recovery or aren't just pwp. And I love your writing so much that if you ever decided to write a transman fic I'd literally cry from happiness.

So, I was going to write a big long world-building response to this but instead I'm gonna take it back to something personal - you're asking me to consider worldbuilding for and writing for stuff I feel pretty dysphoric over in my personal life. I go out of my way to really, really avoid writing heterosexuality of any kind for a start, so I don't want to think about all the fringe cases where I can make heterosexuality possible at Hillview or the sister site. That's just...icky to me.

As for trans folk, being that I'm also transmasc, I'm mostly team 'if you want to see it happen you can write it happening. I have zero problems with that. But there's stuff I'm not writing about either for reasons relating to dysphoria, or for reasons relating to 'this is not actually why I enjoy writing in the first place.' This is why I don't do self-inserts, for example. I don't like seeing myself in my own stories, I prefer seeing myself represented in other stories.

So -> If other folks want to write it, they can! If they want to solve those worldbuilding issues, they absolutely can! If they want to write fic about it, I'm gonna set off a confetti cannon for them in celebration.

In terms of worldbuilding, the answer would just always be: It depends. If you want to find the fringe cases then sure, there would always be exceptions! But if there was any chance of fertility/pregnancy with their companion, then no. So it would absolutely need to be not just a hormonal transition (a lot of things can impact consistent hormonal uptake and I think omegaverse hormones in the Underline universe would actually impact them a lot too), but one that covered bottom surgery as well.

Is that like, a problem in honouring someone's gender? Absolutely!! The Underline universe isn't perfect. But preventing pregnancy is their biggest concern at Hillview and the sister site. I know in regular/standard ORFs, they only care about the fertility issue, and care about literally nothing else, and yes, that can be a huge issue re: trans folk. This world is a dystopia, it doesn't pretend to be anything else.

The fun thing about fanfiction, is that other people can erase all of that with a sweep, come up with some magical contraception, and just make it happen. :D

As a transmasc person myself, I have stuff I just don't like writing. Just like everyone else does. You are absolutely welcome and completely have my blessing to imagine whatever you like for Underline, to write it in fic, to daydream about it, to bend and change the rules that already exist or to make up new ones that don't exist yet, that work for a world you want to read about.

But for me...it just comes too close to 'if I have to change or figure out these things I also have to think about how to set up 'woman omega and man alpha' heterosexuality and I just don't want to.'

I'm so sorry anon. I'm going to circle this one under competing needs. Sometimes the thing another person needs to find gender affirmation, is the thing that will harm another person's experience of their own gender, even if that gender shares the same general name, even if that changes down the track. (This is how we get some trans people who hate genderbending in fic and say it's dysphoric, and other trans people who love it and say it's affirming. It's true for both, neither should impose their views on the other).

The TL;DR being: I write what I want to be writing. If I'm not writing it, and have never written it, it's because I don't want to write it. In the matter of heterosexuality: zero interest, I'll leave that for other folks. In the matter of being trans, dealing with my own gender stuff irl is already a nightmare that I don't want to have to write out a version of that again in fiction, because I can't live it twice, and I don't like writing fluffy stories.

[21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y]

i have to say, it’s disgusting how anti trans fearmongering prays on the anxieties of medically traumatized people. i grew up disabled and for much of my life couldn’t go to the doctor’s office without having a meltdown or dissociating. i knew that transphobes/terfs were full of shit, but hearing their rhetoric still affected me. the narrative that they push, that doctors would practically hold you down and inject you with hormones to push a political agenda, that you would ruin your body forever by transitioning and gender affirming surgeries were a form of self-mutilation... it’s terrifying. we are vulnerable, and anti-trans “activists” take advantage of our negative experiences to prevent people from transitioning. the only “permanent damage” i inflicted on my body was from starving myself to cope with the dysphoria while i was repressing my identity. if these people really cared about the safety of our children they’d understand that transitioning saves lives. period.

[martian-martian-martian]

i know several people who have gone through or currently have eating disorders, i am such a person myself, and this sentiment is not directed to harm anyone close to me.

but as a general rule. in general. even if someone doesn’t tell you to your face, and they swear up and down their standards are for themselves only and theyre against bodyshaming and all that other stuff:

you can always tell when someone would rather die than look like you. you can. and its just not an awesome feeling.

im sure ive made someone else feel that way and it’s fucked up. but its defo not great to feel yourself.

this goes further than weight too; its something i’ve encountered in terms of gender presentation among genderqueer people, it seems everybody is so intensely scared of being the dreaded ‘cringe’ trans person. and theres a look people associate with that even on the left. ive seen it also in terms of neurodivergents looking at people they percieve as ‘more’ neurodivergent.

weight is just one example.

and again, its nobody’s fault necessarily and like theres a hundred ways mental health issues can warp interpersonal connection but like.

you really can always feel it. and its shitty.

the idea that internalized fatphobia or transphobia or ableism doesn’t hurt people, or only hurts people if you like, talk, is false. it hurts people close to you in passive ways, without requiring any action or spoken sentiment.

[capybandit]

i think the hs epilogues could’ve been improved if gamzee just did like. community service on earth c rather than being thrown into the ocean or whatever the fuck else happened to him. i jus think he deserved to happily pick up trash n mop grass n rekindle lost relationships while not having to worry about The Voices. the complete disregard for his character beyond murderstuck still makes my blood boil and i need CLOSURE!!!!!!!!

[rubberduckyrye]

@crossover-enthusiast

Ohhh yeah that changes the context a little. If you find out why tell me I'm interested now

Yeah it really does change the context when a proship/anti-harassment blog is saying DNI LoverofPiggies fans.

As for what I found, it's this blog:

In short, there's a lot of typical he said she said, screenshots that block out usernames and yada yada. These are so easy to fake so normally I am critical of screenshots as proof.

BUT the more compelling evidence is the screen recording/video of the person going through DMs with LoP. Here's a direct link to that.

Here is the apology that loverofpiggies wrote that I think is being referenced on the blog, so yeah the transphobic part is true and not fake:

There is also this person's testimony:

I think this is probably where most of the hate comes from, as this is a much more popular post plus the apology for being transphobic sort of speaks for itself.

So yeah. Not a bunch of horse shit this time around.

It's hard to say how things have been going after the fact, but. You know. I kind of don't care anymore, I've seen enough to tap out.

[plausiblyren]

when we say “kill the part of you that cringes” this is the kind of positive change we mean

We reclaiming tonight bois

[luna-is-out-there]

I'm sorry I exist, but you can't just erase me or reshape me into something else. I've tried that, and it wasn't a functional solution, and while I might not value myself I do value others like me.

Let transgender people be.

We're not interested in you, you don't need to do anything. But the less you hurt us, the less cries you'll hear, because the less cries there'll be.

[thestarlightforge]

At the risk of doxxing myself 💀 for the bit. Def won’t be the worst of the holidays, but still, what a time, lol

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"But if more beds in better funded psych wards isn't the solution to our mental health crisis, what is?!"

The answer to this is a combination of different factors, including but absolutely not limited to:

Supporting various efforts to reduce poverty and expand people's general access to food, safety, health care, housing, etc

Exchanging punitive law enforcement measures with harm reduction measures which do not remove people's right to autonomy when it comes to issues like addiction and self harm.

Supporting people's right to make free choices about medication and other mental health treatments, which both includes reducing a psychiatrists right to restrict access as well as reducing the use of coercion in the prescription of psych meds

Making a broader variety of potential treatments available to more people, so that people can choose between various kinds of talk therapy and practical supports instead of being forced to only rely on medication that might not help them if mental health treatment is accessible at all

Increasing people's general access to free time, rest time and recovery time

Questioning and correcting the ways different kinds of bigotry like racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism and transphobia affect and are reinforced by mental health care

Encouraging people who struggle with mental health issues or who might in the future to make mental health plans that explain what they actually want people to do and not do in the case of a crisis where their judgment is impaired

Supporting mental health initiatives that value people's right to autonomy

Building community and helping people form healthy social connections

Acknowledging the role trauma, poverty, oppression and discrimination can play in the development of various mental health issues while facing all these issues on a general scale

Leaving behind the by now disproved idea that mental health issues are mostly individual character flaws caused by randomly occurring chemical imbalances and exchanging it with a more intersectional approach

[autistic-wolf-pack]

the whole concept of “sysmed” is stupid, like it’s a literal disorder?? Why would it not be medical? It’s very much a different thing from saying you need to have dysphoria to be trans and/or only binary trans ppl exist… one’s a mental illness the other is a social construct my guy-

"you're a sysmed" I f***ing guess so yeah! But don't use a term derived from something transphobic for us. Be original when you call us what we are instead of trying to lump us in with transphobics to demonize us.

mhmm

[highqueenofmidderlands]

Hi so a lot of people are talking about how horrific Emilia Perez is from a Latin American perspective, which is really interesting to read. It’s not my place to way in on whether or not it is a good movie from that perspective.

BUT, I can weigh in on the trans perspective, and from that aspect the movie is, to borrow from the native tongue of the direct, tres shit. To start, the titular character spends the entire first act being aggressively misgendered. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, from the lawyer she hires to scout perspective clinics for her “sex change operation” (more on that in a second) to the actual fucking workers at the hospital she decides to have her operation at constantly refer to her with masculine identifiers, including a song where her lawyer refers to her as Mr Mystery while speaking with the surgeon and convincing the surgeon that Emilia is eligible for the “sex change operation.” FURTHER, when we meet Emilia, she’s been on HRT for two years with seemingly NO effect on her body. The film aggressively makes sure that Emilia is presented in masculine clothing, voice, and presentation before she truly “changed her sex” through the “sex change operation.” SPEAKING OF, this mystical fucking “sex change operation” is actually six different surgeries that would require weeks, if not MONTHS of recovery in between operations. The one surgery Emilia has is a orchiectomy, vaginoplasty, breast augmentation, rhinoplasty (bc big nose means man? nice casual antisemitism with your transphobia), facial feminization, and an Adam’s apple reduction (in the parlance of the movie). This is an absurd amount of plastic surgery to be done within a single procedure and it shows a dangerous lack of understanding of not only trans and gender affirming health care but also just like… surgery in general??? Finally, after the “sex change operation”, the movie finally lets Emilia present femininely and wear gender affirming clothing, as if to say that trans women/trans femme people EARN the ABILITY to wear gender affirming clothes by having massive, invasive, and expensive surgeries, and it’s only by having these surgeries that you can match your “anatomy” to your gender presentation. Long and the short, the understanding of trans shit is FUCKED, and it’s absurd that Dog Day Afternoon seems to have a better understanding of trans issues than Golden Globe Winner Emilia Perez.

And that’s before going into the fact that the movie is not presented competently at all. The cinematography is bad, the lyrics are contrite, the choreography seems to have been done by a chimpanzee with a ketamine dependency, and the script itself just lacks a compelling story.

Anyway, all this to say, fuck Emilia Perez. If you want trans centered cinema, go watch I Saw The TV Glow. If you want a movie musical, go see Wicked again.

[pienhime]

my ten manga/game/anime/etc recs for jirai

hiii long time no long ass recs post! i wanna recommend media that is popular w landmine types for newbies to the subculture, and recommendations for those who might have been here long enough to know the most popular media within jirai subculture and want some recommendations beyond that!

so without further ado...

1. Tomorrow, I Will Become Someone's Girlfriend

TW: unsafe sex work, abusive relationships, body dysmorphia, self harm, substance use, misogyny, and parental death

Okay you knew this was coming. It's probably the most popular manga amongst jirai girls as it literally is about Kabukicho, sex work, trauma, and jirai culture. Everyone's seen Yua at this point, and she is a jiraicon, but the other characters are interesting and may be relatable to jirai girls too!

2. Mahou Shoujo Site

TW: sexual assault, r@pe, abusive family dynamics, transphobia, self-harm, suicide, murder, gore, bullying, human sacrifice

This is probably also familiar to people in the jirai community and yandereblr. Super mega fucked-up parody of magical girl animes with a cast of memorable but mentally unhinged and often morally gray-to-terrible characters with a hopeful message at the end. The most unfortunate girls around Japan get given magical girl items to improve their lives, but using them drains their life force- and someone's on the hunt for magical girls, all while the countdown to the apocalypse ticks down on the mysterious magical girl site. DO NOT BOTHER WITH THE ANIME, JUST READ THE MANGA!!

3. Needy Girl Overdose/Needy Streamer Overload

TW: substance abuse, self-harm, murder (potentially), suicide, non-graphic sexual content, abuse (player is being abused by the main character), unreality, internet addiction

Duh. I can't not have this game on here! Created by a renowned menhera subculture artist and featuring Jirai icons Ame-chan and KAngel, this game has blown up unexpectedly since its release, getting art exhibits and collabs with brands like DearMyLove. You play as P-chan, Ame/KAngel's boyfriend and producer, while you try to help her achieve her goals of becoming an influencer and prevent her from killing herself or going insane along the way. If you've been in a relationship like this as the P-chan, I'm sorry we relate but this game was super therapeutic to me so maybe it'll help you process too!! Also the soundtrack fucks. Hard.

4. Neeko wa Tsurai Yo!

TW: agoraphobia, existentialism, substance use (kind of), ecchi (of both adult and high schooler characters), suicidal ideation, internet addiction

This is a super underrated personal favorite I've posted about a few times before. It follows hikki-NEET gacha gamer Niiko, as she faces jealousy of her little sister for being farther in life than her as a high-schooler, the trauma of a particularly horrific job rejection keeping her from going outside or trying for another job, and being totally fed up with her life. It's a pretty depressing read for the first half, but becomes a realistic story about recovery by the end.

5. Wristcut Warriors: Menherachan

TW: suicide attempts, self-harm (duh), parental abuse, parental death, parental neglect, attempted sexual assault, mild gore, societal ableism/sanism

Much more popular in the menhera subculture than anywhere else, but still popular enough with landmine types to be included, and a personal comfort series of mine. This is a satire manga about three teenage magical girls who have to self-harm to transform, meant as an allegory for how suffering and self-sacrifice for the sake of upholding societal norms is seen as more noble in Japan than speaking out etc. It's pretty short with only 20 chapters and some supplemental material, and tons of merch collabs but due to Ezaki being the actual fucking worst i encourage you to only but fanmerch and second-hand.

6. Danganronpa

TW: murder, suicide, ableist depiction of DID, misgendering (kind of, im not getting into ******* discourse so ill put it jic), SA, addiction,and general violence and blood

I'm biased as a Danganronpa multi-kin and selfshipper but I personally think every jirai should play Danganronpa, read the supplemental materials and watch DR3 if they can. Quirky teens with mental issues locked in a school and forced to kill each other or themselves? Prime insanity and mindbreaking ensues, with some really cool characters coming out of the franchise. Despite the premise, theres a pretty hopeful message.

7. Oshi no Ko

TW: stalking, teen pregnancy, exploitation of minors, suicide attempts, murder, terminal illness, age gap relationships, bullying, abortion, parasocial relationships, and... sigh... pseudo-incest is apparently in the manga as well

If you are into idol anime and expect your standard cinderella story about passionate girls and guys hitting it big... Oshi no Ko isn't the idol anime you're used to. This doesn't even follow the hit idol herself- rather, her two children who are reincarnated fans. They have to find their way in the exploitative and often dark showbiz world while trying to solve their mother's murder.

8. Bocchi the Rock!

TW: agoraphobia, alcohol abuse

I only watched this one recently, but it's already an all-time fav. It follows agoraphobic and severly socially anxious Hitori (aka Bocchi), and her newfound friends as they do their best to become a successful local band! They make odd friends along the way and Bocchi starts to try to recover and better herself, with often comedic failures along the way.

9. TUYU's interconnected songs

TW: abuse, substance abuse, unsafe SW, dysmorphia, suicide, self harm, parasocialism

Okay so... ik the timing is bad but I meant to make this list ages ago and this was on it so... a lot of the TUYU songs and MVs are interconnected! Some specifically cover jirai kei and ryousangata otaku topics! My favorite songs and MVs are the ones involving my favorite characters, Anhiro and Anzu, who are heavily featured in the Under Mentality album.

10. School-Live!

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!! I RECOMMEND GOING IN BLIND FOR THIS ANIME SPECIFICALLY!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

TW: unreality, major character death, parental death, self-harm, animal death, graphic depictions of delusions and hallucinations

I loved the anime, so I picked up the manga recently. I'm only a little ways in, but I want to complete it since the anime didn't cover it all! You don't even know the plot until the final seconds of the first episode, where it's revealed that Yuki is the only member of the squad who doesn't realize what's going on- she's not in school for class, she's living there for shelter in a zombie apocalypse. Oh, and she sees dead people. She has moments of clarity, and the story often follows other characters' memories and POVs, so you still get to have a clear look into what happened and what's going on for real.

That was my list of my current top ten media recommendations for jirai kei! Please lmk if you decide to give any of these a try! Remember that I also regularly post music recs under #music too! Bye-bye!!

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Hey. If you’re doomscrolling in this tag, stop. Drink some water. Go look at something you actually want to. Remember, no one in their right mind is going to accept these people, so stop subjecting yourself to racism, ableism, transphobia, etc when you could be doing something better. These people are against recovery, so if you really want to piss them off, the best way is to be kind to yourself.