#transition at age 9 could have saved him

[wormchaser]

i remember being a child and looking at myself in the tiny bathroom mirror, with my hair reaching my shoulders, acne dotting my skin, and understanding that i looked fucking disgusting. ugly is the word i used, but written it does not appreciate the intensity of the word when it was used in that moment.

[shamebats]

My first thought upon accepting that I'm trans was "...this will complicate things."

I'm not one of those people who knew all along. I never called myself a boy or a man. I was masking so heavily, I barely knew who I was as a person. I did what I was told. I was a good kid. I learned how to behave and perform my role as well as I could and it was fine. The fact that I felt a disconnect from girl & womanhood and other girls & women was just another sign that I needed to put more effort into being one. I just needed to research, observe and practice. Easy.

There was always this version of myself somewhere in the future who was happy, that I was working towards reaching. Who that person was, I did not know. I just knew that I had to suffer through "now" to get there. I have this tendency to take the safe route. I always just want to get everything behind me and move on to the next thing with as low a risk of failure and delays as possible.

So good things would happen, and bad ones too, and they'd pass. Soon enough, a decade has passed and I had a well paying, comfortable job, savings in my bank account, an amazing partner I was deeply in love with even after 9 years and we were planning the big move to our favorite city in the world. Everything seemed perfect.

(Except for the fact that I was doing terribly mentally and hoping that either the change of job and environment or having access to good therapists take care of that.)

Enter: The "Trans Thing".

There was no denying it, the happy version of myself slowly began to take form and he was a man. I knew the next steps. But in order to take them, I'd have to take risks. Complicate things. Have awkward conversations. Do what feels right to me. Risk being wrong. Risk disappointing people. Risk losing some things for a chance to gain other, better ones.

I'm a chronic second-guesser but so far, all the things I've did to affirm my gender, I knew I had to do. I even told my partner I knew there was no going back from it and if it meant that I'd lose him, the love of my life, I'd just have to learn to live with that because me transitioning felt as inevitable as aging. It had to happen.

My self had made himself known and he was coming out whether it was convenient to me at the moment or not. He never gave me a proper warning, but I still welcomed him with open arms. Because it felt right. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a chance at happiness. I knew that I'll just have to ride this wave to wherever it'll take me.

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week ?

rezonan asked: What did you think about Ultimate Invasion #1? I thought it was pretty good and just barely justified the 9 dollars. 6160 man so excited

A great week all around for comic books! How nice to read good stories featuring both of my two favorite guys, Superman and Hulk.

Superman #5 - Another great issue, particularly for Jimmy who came off cool and competent, loved the shot of him donning his own jet pack and flying off with Superman to save the day, that's my pal! Williamson managed to win me over on a Silver Banshee who isn't a villain (for now). I've been leery about "redeeming" villains lately. Don't really see the point since all it does is further cut down on Superman's Rogues Gallery when he desperately needs for them to get used more not less. Banshee and Jimmy are cute enough together, and Marilyn Moonlight seems cool enough to stick around and take Banshee's place, that I've decided to get on board. Really it was seeing Banshee wear a bow tie on a date night with Jimmy that did it, who can resist the bow ties?

World's Finest #16 - Enjoyed this issue more than the rest of the arc, the Green Arrow/Batman banter was funny.

Nightwing #105 - A fantastic art showcase for Redondo. Oh hey and Heartless does actually show up again finally, so credit to Taylor for showing he isn't just sitting around doing nothing.

Wonder Woman #800 - Picked this up just for King's story and I'm on board for his WW run. First WW issue I've read in ages that left me eager to get my hands on the next issue. Nice feeling to have with regards to WW, haven't felt that way since Rucka.

Superboy #3 - Interesting twist to have the Cosmoteers potentially be new villains for Conner rather than friends. Forcing Conner to fight an evil/amoral version of the archetypes he was teammates with on YJ is a cool creative decision.

Vigil #2 - Another great issue even if it leaves me with more questions than answers. Love getting details on Indian conspiracy theories, that's an aspect of other cultures that you don't get in Western textbooks.

Cyborg #2 - Dropped. Take a look at the list, at this point I need a book to either be great or have a personal investment in the character to justify the cost, and Cyborg doesn't check either box.

Black Adam #12 - What an odd, odd book this ended up being. A story all about how there is no redemption for Black Adam, greenlit for synergy with The Rock's movie which starred an Adam who could barely be called a "villain", now ends long after the Adam movie flopped and killed the DCEU. The Adam parts I liked a lot, the Malik parts I didn't enjoy anywhere near as much. Much like the movie, I don't see this book leaving much of a legacy, but Priest did at least write a believable way for Adam to transition out of his anti-hero era and back to being a villain. Will the next writers to tackle Adam acknowledge what Priest did? Maybe Waid will.

Ultimate Invasion #1 -

This was the good shit my fellow Hickmaniacs. Not HoX/PoX tier but absolutely reminding me of Hickman's Avengers and Ultimates. Of course I grinned at seeing "Earth 6160", perfect number designation, if that's the Earth which will be the one Hickman is using for the relaunch then this is indeed a proper reboot for the Ultimate line. Theory time: Maker chose this Earth because this is a world that doesn't have a Reed Richards. Hickman might even make it the Earth that Doom got his Sue from in Secret Wars, their origin had Dr. Franklin Storm in Reed's place, and I could see Maker wanting this Earth partly to spite 616 Reed for crying over that Sue on Battleworld. Maker's already prevented 6160 from having a Spider-Man, and it looks like he's going to prevent the other heroes from forming too. I'm dying to know what he's going to do to the Sue, Johnny, and Ben of this world if my theory is correct.

I predict that the ending of Ultimate Invasion will be 6160 getting rebooted to undo Maker's changes, and 616 Reed is going to fold Maker into this Earth's history somehow, rebooting him back to being Mr. Fantastic. The problem the Illuminati have with Maker is that they can't kill him and they can't keep him locked up, meaning they have to find another way to deal with him. Given this was kicked off in part by 616 Reed admitting he would like to erase Maker, I think the ending will be 616 Reed realizing that's the wrong approach and instead opts to try and redeem Maker. That would also explain rumors that there's going to be a lot more interaction between 616 and 6160 than there was with 1610. 6160 becomes Maker's prison, and the 616 Illuminati keep watch to ensure he doesn't fall back into being a villain again.

Incredible Hulk #1 - Shocker I know but I liked this. Great Southern Gothic atmosphere thanks to Klein's art, and PKJ is directly following up on Ewing while also taking advantage of the Banner/Hulk reset that Cates did. Seeing Betty under Eldest's control was surprising, I did not expect her to be in the first issue but I'm happy she's back. Eager to dive into this monster mythos surrounding the Mother of Horrors that PKJ is creating, Hulk vs. Man-Thing is a fantastic matchup that I don't think has ever been done before.

Scarlet Witch Annual - Orlando handled the MCU synergy very well. Agatha is straight up MCU-ified now, no real way to avoid that after the popularity of Wandavision, but he did a good job acknowledging Agatha's previous history with Wanda and at least tried to reconcile the differences between the two takes.

Avengers #2 - Plotwise this remains great, characterwise it's clear McKay is still finding his footing in terms of juggling the cast. Writes a great Black Panther though, so at least T'Challa is finally getting treated with respect. Too bad that only happens outside his solo.

[flowvids]

How A 28-Year-Old Got Fired And Then Built A $500K A Month Business While Traveling The World

John Crestani was sitting on a beach in Thailand, poor and dissatisfied with his life, when he opened a book that helped him transition from a job seeker to a successful online entrepreneur.

Crestani, 21, had dropped out of college in 2009 and gone to Thailand. He was traveling around the country on a little loan from his family, attempting to "find" himself. To that purpose, he brought spiritual texts such as the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita (a Hindu scripture). But his saving grace turned out to be a business book: Tim Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweek, the now-classic guide to breaking free from the 9-to-5 by starting an internet business.

Ferriss's main thesis in the book is to cease trading time for money and instead establish enterprises that can eventually run nearly entirely on their own: passive income.

"I was at a point in my life where I had very little direction, didn't know where I was going, and had this void," Crestani remembers. "I thought 'This sounds freaking awesome and I want to do it.'"

And he did. Crestani combined his own hustle with Ferriss' advice to create an affiliate marketing network that now makes $250,000 to $500,000 per month, allows him to travel the world, and scales on demand.

While many people desire to be followers of Tim Ferriss' lifestyle design, Crestani is its leading proponent. But he didn’t get there overnight.

Years of Failure Before 4 Hours of Work

It took Crestani years of false starts and experimentation before he discovered a successful, profitable business.

His first attempt at entrepreneurship was selling items on eBay. That enterprise earned him $1,000 to $2,000 each month and prompted a call from PayPal's security team. There was a problem with the business model: Crestani was selling things that PayPal did not approve of. His PayPal account was closed, and the business was closed.

So he re-enrolled in school and tried to strike it rich by catering to the wants of his classmates. Crestani, who was exposed to computers before he reached double digits, used his technological expertise to obtain the exam answers to every online course for every major from his university—and he used those answers just as you might expect. "I had all the answers, and I sold that knowledge," he says. "It was an odd feeling. I never understood how valuable a PDF file could be. "It was my first time trading knowledge for money," adds Crestani. The outcome was his first $1,000 day. However, the jubilation (and the cash flow) did not last. Crestani was suspended because the school suspected he obtained the test answers illegally.

Despite his failures, Crestani never lost sight of his ultimate purpose. "The 4-Hour Workweek kept the hustle in my head. It planted the seed, the notion that you don't have to exchange time for money." Ironically, he was only around the corner from the achievement that the book promotes. It would only take Crestani being dismissed from his nine-to-five job.

From Hired to Fired

Crestani got a "real job" at the age of 22 working for a Los Angeles-based marketing agency. The company specialized in pay-per-click advertising on search engines. Crestani learned himself the trade and was soon managing over 20 client accounts, writing attractive commercials and employing smart bidding methods to promote sales.

He became so excellent at paid promotion that he increased a client's business by 40 times. His firm's CEO was generating more than $110,000 in additional revenue from the account each month. Crestani was now the company's online advertising star.

So he did what any self-respecting professional would do: gently requested a raise. "My boss looked at me across the table when I asked for the raise and said, 'Or what?'" recalls Crestani. Instead of acknowledging his contributions to the company, his manager mocked him and instructed him to get back to work. Crestani was shocked.

Crestani psychologically checked out of the job from that moment forward and was finally sacked. But he'd been hustling on the side to attract clients to keep him afloat while he chased his true dream of building a multimillion-dollar firm where he'd never have a boss again.

Minting Money

Crestani had demonstrated his expertise in web advertising. He understood that he wanted to tour the world. And he sought freedom from the typical constraints of business life.

He came up with the notion of promoting products developed by other companies rather than investing a lot of time and money developing and marketing his own. He discovered that selling homeopathic products through a small group of providers provided him with the highest profit margins, so he used his advertising expertise to increase sales of these items.

Every customer Crestani persuades to acquire earns a huge profit for his business. In one instance, he claims to receive $40 for each sale of a $90 product. Crestani's company, Nutryst, also recruits and trains other affiliates to sell these items for them, resulting in a network effect that generates significant revenue in the six figures each month.

But his secret sauce is canning and cloning himself: he screen-records the ad campaigns he generates step-by-step (his current focus is on Facebook advertising) on his laptop and sends them to his staff, allowing them to replicate his results. That has been a major contributor to Crestani's success. "For each million-dollar ad campaign I launch, I obsessively record myself on my computer during the creative process. I pass the modules on to my colleagues and ensure they can execute the task as well as I can." As a result, his business can scale as needed. All Crestani and his ten-person team need to do is increase their ad spend in the proper regions and watch their income grow accordingly.

That enthusiasm, and the income it generates, allow him to travel the world at his leisure. He has worked exceedingly hard to create a lifestyle free of bosses and the need to show up at work. And the rewards, however great, are much more than just money. Crestani claims he grew up as a hermit, preoccupied with computer games and unaware of the benefits of globe travel. Now, the 28-year-old newlywed millionaire is plotting his next worldwide journey while boosting his company to even higher heights.

"I wanted to open myself up to new experiences," he says about his foray into entrepreneurship.

"Sitting in my room playing Diablo II did not seem like a promising future. "So I changed it."

If you want to be big, you need to learn for the best.

John Crestani is offering free training for everyone. Click Here To Get Instant Access To His Training!!!

[velvetcloak-blog]

Alone in Darkness; Another in the Light

I had convinced myself for years that when this moment came, I would feel relief, and peace. I was convinced I already mourned this relationship.

How wrong I was.

When I entered the hospital Wednesday morning, I was sure I was walking into a room where my father would be cussing out everyone, and that what the doctor had told me that morning would be overstated. I mean, this is the same man who lit the cigarette in the ICU a month and a half-ago. He was too stubborn to let go.

What I saw the moment I walked behind the curtain in front of the hospital bed nearest the window, I was in no way prepared for.

My father was a very tall, very large man the last time I saw him 3 weeks ago. 6’3” and 375 lbs. So the man I saw laying in that bed 3 1/2 days ago was not my father. It was impossible, right?

The man lyrics by in that bed was frail, absent, and vulnerable. Unconscious from the meds that were given to keep him comfortable. The doctor told me all of this on the phone before I arrived, that he was declining rapidly and that extra measures would have no chance of saving him. I had to consent to the comfort care; to deciding for someone else that it was time to pass peacefully.

In that moment, I concurred with the doctor, but internally I assumed he’d linger on or pull through simply to spite me. Our relationship was complex, and riddle with trauma. The boundaries I had to instill 10 years ago were there out of necessity, not lack of love or compassion. Those who knew him all say I did the most and the best I could for him. My heart is less inclined to grant me me such peace. I had no clue that less than 24 hours he would quietly slip away.

But there was nothing that could prepare me for what I would see left of him that morning. There laid a man 150 lbs lighter than he was 3 weeks earlier, and he had aged from 71 to 90 in an instant. Thick of seeing this rendered me in heaving sobs.

They began speaking of hospice, and doing so that day, as to jot miss their window. I naively assumed that this was because they knew he’d be better sooner rather than later (or this is at least what my brain said).

So, a little before 9 pm on 4/26/2023, he was transported to a beautiful hospice facility. They bathed him (something he rarely did himself), trimmed his mustache and beard, and so I left him that night knowing he was in the best surroundings he had been I. For years.

At 5:30 am the next morning they called to tell me that he was transitioning and I should come as quickly as I could. I did. I sat alone at his bedside, holding his hand, as he took quick shallow breaths.

I hope he knew I was there holding his hand that entire time. That he wasn’t alone, and that was loved him and forgave him, and I hoped he forgave me too.

[fayes-fics]

Many Things

Pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU

Summary: Modern AU. One fateful night everything changes between best friends.

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors dni, vaginal sex, oral sex (m to f), touch of frottage, tiny bit of breeding kink, angst, jealousy, arguing.

Word Count: 3.7k

Authors Note: This one is more romantic tbh, not too explicit (the next two Benny one-shots will be utter filth, fyi). I wanted to do a modern take on jealous Benedict request I fulfilled a few weeks ago, but this thing took off on its own adventure and frankly I was just along for the writing ride. Yes, I know I know I have other WIPs I should be working on. This fic is dedicated to the wonderful @makaylan who adores friends to lovers and even betaed this. Thanks bestie <3.

Benedict Bridgerton has been many things to you over the years - a close friend since childhood, a genius to copy homework from, a lift home at Christmas, a shoulder to cry on when the men you date let you down, and most recently, your housemate - but not what you would have considered marriage material. 

It’s one fateful night that changes everything. 

Some of your mutual university friends have rented a house in the same neighbourhood. It’s one of those London summer evenings where the light doesn’t fade until after 9 pm; as you walk a few streets to their place, Benedict strolls next to you, clutching a bottle of scotch as a housewarming gift, teasing gently about your latest failed date. 

He moved into your house-share just three weeks before, part of a plan to save money to buy his own house. The transition from best friends to best friends who live together is effortless. Your roommates think he’s great, and everything is working well. Or so you thought…

——

“Babes”, a familiar voice from the past rings out from the kitchen a few hours into the party, “fuck, it's been AGES.”

“No way!! Matt!?!” The shock of seeing your ex at the party is tempered by the fact he was one of the most fun. Too much fun, in fact. It was the reason you had split up. You couldn't trust him as far as you could throw him, and you couldn't throw him for toffee. He still looks untrustworthy just at a glance. He was always so handsome, though, and that hasn't changed in the intervening five years.

He pulls you into a bear hug. He still smells so good too. The daring part of you, the part that always wants to throw caution to the wind in any given situation, starts to stir and ask if a revisit to the past is always such a bad idea. 

“How the devil have you been?” he asks after releasing you, leaning back against the oversized kitchen island, his face creased with a huge grin.

“I'm good,” you smile back, “same old, same old in many ways.”

Out of the corner of your eye, through the doorway, you see Benedict being cornered in the living room by Zoe, a high-maintenance co-worker of your friend that you've heard more stories about than you care to remember. Good, that will keep him distracted, you think to yourself. Of all your ex-boyfriends, Benedict always hated Matt the most.

“Still at the same company?” he asks.

“Yeah, but I got a promotion. Have a whole team to boss around now,” you jest.

“Oh, those lucky bastards,” he winks, leaning in and handing you a shot glass. “Here, try this.”

“What is it?” you question, wrinkling your nose slightly at the somewhat pungent smell. You suspect it's Fireball or some other noxious choice you have mostly left behind in your uni days.

“Hey babes, if you are asking what's in the shots, you are not entering into the spirit of a house party,” he laughs.

“Fair enough,” you shrug with a giggle and down the shot in unison. It burns and catches in your throat in the way cheap liquor always does, and you have to cough slightly into the back of your hand. “God, Matt, your taste has not changed,” you laugh.

“No, it hasn't,” he winks and looks at you salaciously, his eyes running up and down your body as if you weren't just standing there in a plain cotton top and jeans. 

“Haha,” you deadpan. “Give me another,” you pout, waving the empty shot glass, that devil-may-care side of you taking charge for just a moment.

After a couple more shots, you relax into the evening. Everything is slightly fuzzy around the edges, and the world seems like not such a bad place. You and Matt chat amiably; others occasionally drift temporarily into the free-flowing conversation while they refill their drinks.

You're not sure when, but his arm goes behind you at some point as he gestures mid-story. It then lands on your shoulders and doesn't move. You don't mind so much; it's a nice warm weight - it doesn’t signify anything. Or at least you think it doesn’t.

“What. The. Fuck.” Benedict's shocked voice behind you is unmistakable.

You twist around, and it looks like he has eaten a case of lemons, the sourness in his expression so obvious. On instinct, you step out from under Matt’s arm and watch as Benedict rounds the island, his face like thunder.

“Bridgerton,” Matt plasters a fake smile on his face.

“This one?” Benedict ignores him entirely and looks daggers at you. “Really?”

“What?” you challenge. Benedict is uncharacteristically very hostile, throwing you off your buzz.

“Honestly, are you just trying to embarrass yourself or both of us?” his expression is fierce.

“What is up with you, Ben?” you hiss.

You're surprised when he grabs your arm. “Don't you dare make me go through this bullshit again,” he growls. You are taken aback, not by his tone but by how hurt he looks; you can see it in his eyes.

Matt jumps closer. “Hey Bridgerton, unhand the girl,” he interjects, trying chivalry on for size for probably the first time ever.

The whole party appears to go quiet all around you as people start to look over.

Benedict’s hand drops from you, but his head whips around and snarls at Matt, “How about you first? Don't you dare touch her again,” his voice steely.

Matt raises his hands in mock surrender, “OK, man; we were just talking, no harm, no foul.”

“You stay the fuck away from her, do you hear me?” Benedict seethes, a vein in his neck you've never noticed before pulsing hard. 

You have never seen him so enraged. You feel everyone’s eyes on you and realise the party - or at least your taking part in it - is well and truly over. 

Not knowing what else to do, you don't give either of them a second glance. You grab your bag and stalk out the kitchen, down the hallway, out the front door and into the street without looking back. 

——

You know Benedict has followed you out of the house. His long legs stride down the pavement to catch up with you fast. 

“Wait, y/n,” he grabs your elbow about ten doors down from the house. “Will you just stop walking, please?”

“Why Ben? What the fuck was that? Why humiliate me like that?” You wrench your elbow from his grip and cross your arms, staring at him challengingly, making sure to put some distance between you.

“I didn’t intend to”, he says quietly, “I was trying to make a point.”

“Which was?” you prompt, irritated.

“He’s an arse, and I just wanted you away from him. I didn’t mean to make you leave the party; I’m sorry,” he looks genuinely contrite.

Somewhat uncharitably, you ignore his apology, not ready to forgive just yet. “You acted like a jealous idiot - he always suspected we had a thing together. They all do. You think what just happened will put paid to that bloody rumour?”

“No,” his response subdued, kicking a stone into the gutter.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” you pace around in a small circle, frustration manifesting in little steps. “God, do you not even want a girlfriend?! These rumours and that kind of shit doesn’t help you get someone either, you know,” you add pointedly.

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” he dismisses.

“Well, maybe you should. That girl Zoe was flirting with you before all that went down, in case you didn’t notice,” you respond, your tone a little tart.

“You think I should date her?” he looks incredulous.

“No, she’s a total nightmare, but you’re missing my point,” you respond, rolling your eyes.

“You want me to get with someone you know is a nightmare?” It seems like he's being deliberately obtuse now.

“No!! I want you to give someone a chance! You haven’t slept with anyone in months. Either that or you’re withholding information from me. Which is it?” you question, suddenly very invested in his answer.

“The former,” he admits, almost sheepish, as you release a breath you didn't know you were holding.

“Why? God, Ben, do you have any idea the way that so many women look at you? How women look at me cos they think I’m with you and hate me for it?” You know your voice has gone slightly shrill now, which annoys you.

You pivot on your heels, marching away from him towards your house. You hear his footsteps behind you again, knowing this argument or whatever it is, is not over - this is merely a hiatus.

“Again, I apologise for making you feel you needed to leave the party, but I won't apologise for getting you away from him,” he calls out as you round the corner into your street. “And I'm sick and tired of having to do that, to be honest,” he adds as he catches up to you, you fumbling in your bag for your door keys.

“Do what?” you counter, angrily stopping your movement.

“Having to be the brain you sometimes so desperately lack, or rather refuse to engage,” he answers with more than a dramatic flair.

“What the fuck is this actually about, Ben?” You have lost your temper now, “cos it’s sure as fuck not about Matt anymore, is it?” You glare at him.

“Yknow what y/n, you’re right, it’s not just about him. It’s about all the ‘hims’ before and since.” You can see the irritation etched into the lines of his face, thrown into relief by the street lamp above.

“What are you talking about?” 

“It’s about the parade of idiots you allow yourself to be charmed by,” he sneers.

“Hey, who I choose to date is my decision,” you volley, defensive.

“Oh totally,” he says tartly, “it’s just a shame you have such terrible decision-making.”

“Well, if all my decisions are so bad, how can you stand to be my friend?” Your tone is dripping with sarcasm, lashing out when you’re hurt.

“Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? Maybe I can’t stand to be just your friend anymore,” his hands on his hips, defiant, his volume raised too.

“SHUT UP!!” A voice bellows from a nearby darkened window.

It's 2 am, and you are having a full-blown argument in the street; the stranger has a fair request.

“SORRY!” you both shout back simultaneously.

“Wait, what do you mean, just my friend?” you hiss after a few seconds. 

“Don’t act stupid; you know exactly what I mean,” he grouses.

“No, I fucking don’t. What is going on with you tonight? Things have been great since you moved in, and now you pull this shit. It makes no sense.” You throw your hands in the air and walk away from him again, not stopping until you reach your shared front door.

“Really?? Really?!?” He rounds behind you. “It’s been great for YOU, maybe. It’s been fucking torture for me.” The bitterness in his voice cuts you.

“What? We’ve all bent over backwards to make you welcome!” You decry, angrily jabbing your keys into the lock.

“Oh, it’s not the welcome that’s the problem,” he scoffs, crowding you through the door as it opens.

“Then what? What is it? What is wrong?” You’re close to giving up on this argument and running up to your room; he slams the front door behind you. Thank god your housemates are both out of town this weekend.

“YOU!” He explodes exasperated, seemingly occupying the whole narrow hallway as he draws himself to full height. “You are what’s wrong!! Moving in together was wrong!!”

You ignore the phrasing that suggests you moved in like a couple. “Why?!” You hate the idea he regrets being closer to you; you have secretly loved it.

“Because I can’t stop thinking about fucking you, that's why!” he yells, his voice echoing up the house's walls.

You are stunned into silence. 

“You think about having sex with me?” It’s almost a whisper.

He’s wild-eyed and breathing hard. “All the time and, god, now we live together, it’s impossible” he smears his hands down his face “FUCK! I’ve drank too much; I’ve said too much. I need to leave.” He spins as if to head out the front door again.

“No, you bloody don’t,” you block his path and grab his arms. Maybe it’s the alcohol making you bold; perhaps it’s given you the clarity you need, either way, you don’t just want to know where this is going; you need to know on a cellular level. “Don’t be a coward now,” you goad him.

He won’t meet your eye, and he looks pained like he admitted something he’s been keeping secret for a long time and now wants to flee. You hold steady, not letting him by. You can feel his pulse racing through his veins where you grip his arms. 

“What is it you always tell me? If you want something, go for it. So I say to you again, don’t be a fucking coward” you’re breathing heavily now, too and daring him to make a move. 

He’s still looking beyond you at the door like he wants to bolt.

“Ben…. for once, just… take what you want.” You state with finality. He looks down to meet your eyes for the first time since his confession; it’s breathtaking. “Please…” you exhale, suddenly frantic for him.

You crash into each other.

Before you know it, he has you pinned against the wall of the narrow hall. He slots a leg between yours and pulls you up onto it with hands low on your back; as he deepens the kiss, his tongue questing into your mouth and stealing your breath. This!! This is what it's supposed to feel like, your brain yells at you. The seam of your jeans pushes hard against your centre, and fuck if that doesn’t feel good. 

“Ben,” you gasp as he breaks the kiss.

“What?” his voice is rough as he kisses across your cheek.

“This feels so…” you can't finish the sentence. You want to say perfect, but that feels too dangerous of a word.

“I know,” he reassures, “I know.” 

“Please don't stop,” you urge.

“Wasn't planning on it,” he says as he sucks your earlobe into his mouth and bites it, running your earring over his tongue. He grabs your hips and encourages your rhythmic movements. 

”Go on, take what you need,” he murmurs hot against your ear. “I’ve fantasised about getting you off just like this, riding my thigh fully clothed. Just friction and a little bit of…” his lips suction onto your neck on a spot just below your ear that makes you shudder and moan.

“Fuck Ben,” your voice ragged. It’s like he’s read an encyclopedia of everything that turns you on.

You tug on his t-shirt, desperate to feel more of his skin. He leans away just far enough to remove it quickly and tosses it aside. He goes to move back against you, but you hold him away with firm hands locked on his shoulders.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Bridgerton?” You stutter in disbelief, taking in the sight before you. You haven’t seen him shirtless in a few years, and he’s changed a lot. The man has so much definition everywhere; it makes you salivate. A curator of an art museum has no need, no right, to be this fit, surely? 

“What?” He says, feigning innocence, but his crooked smile gives him away.

“I knew you had something going on under those t-shirts lately, but this?” You trace a finger over the contours of his abs, then down the groove of his Adonis belt all the way into the top of his jeans, “this is ridiculous,” you whisper, loving the hitch in his breath as you start to tug open his fly roughly. 

“Should we go to a bedroom?” He asks just before you delve a hand into his underwear.

You feel your best friend's cock, and you know your friendship is changed forever. He is so warm and silky but rigid, a real handful, and you liquefy at the thought of taking him in. He groans hard as you squeeze him.

“No, you are going to have me right here, fuck me against this wall,” you reply breathily, pumping him in your fist, pushing down the last of his clothing. “Then afterwards, you can take me to bed and make love to me, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” his response is just perfect. Fuck he is just perfect. He kisses you hard again and then takes charge, telling you to take your clothes off; his tone holds more than a hint of something domineering. It has you in floods, stripping off your clothes so fast. 

You are both naked and already panting hard in your shared hallway when he lifts you off the ground, your back rubbing against the textured wallpaper, and he pushes into your body for the first time. It’s everything you wanted every time you’ve had sex, that feeling you’ve been chasing. His solid weight stretches you, your toes just grazing the ground as he pulls you down onto him to the root, groaning hard against your ear, telling you just how good you feel.

“Benedict,” you gasp. You haven’t used his full name in years, and its effect on him is primal. 

He growls your name, pushes you up against the wall high off his cock, and pulls you back down so forcefully you can’t help but scream. As you find a rhythm together, you finally understand what people mean when they say you fuck like you are possessed. It’s urgent, hot, and intoxicating; you can’t believe it’s with your best friend.

Suddenly he stops moving, pins your arms above your head and just holds you there, speared deep onto his cock, up on your tiptoes.

“Tell me you love me,” he commands, staring intently into your eyes, your whole world shifting.

“I love you,” you stutter, knowing it’s true; it’s always been true. 

“I love you. I’ve always loved you,” he confesses, his voice profound with emotion.

He kisses you deeply and then proceeds to fuck you like you have never been fucked before. More than twenty years of connection and ten years of lust swirled into a mind-blowing elixir. It’s the first time you have ever had back-to-back orgasms, and your body shakes so violently you can’t stand up when he finally releases his hold on you.

So he carries you upstairs to bed and fulfils the promise of love-making. Mapping every inch of your body with his lips and tongue until you are a quivering soaked mess, begging him to fuck you again. Instead, he smirks and pushes your legs even further apart, sucking your clit between his teeth, making you see stars and scream his name, pulling on his hair as he growls encouragements into your body. Dawn is breaking through the curtains when he finally takes pity on your aching cunt and fucks you again. You lose count of how many positions, but he finally stops edging you and lets you cum again with him, sobbing with relief. 

——

It’s around midday when you wake up, with sore muscles but a bone-deep satisfaction. 

Benedict's lips are dragging over your breast.

“If I had been braver, by my reckoning, we should be on our honeymoon by now,” he says idly, his voice languid and rough with sleep.

“Hmm, probably,” you agree, moaning lightly as he sucks your nipple into his mouth. 

“And we would definitely be going for our first baby right this very moment,” he smirks, biting down lightly.

“Oh yesssss,” you hiss, running your hand into his hair.

“Is that a yes to babies or a yes to this?” he asks with a chuckle and bites again.

“Both, either, just please don’t stop,” you urge, already squirming against him.

“Oh, I'm holding you to that promise,” he says silkily, switching to your other nipple. “I can't wait to fuck a baby into you,” his voice impossibly deep. “More than one, in fact; I’ve always thought we could have 4, maybe 5, kids.”

“Wait, you’re serious,” you reply, your breathing suddenly tight at all the meaning behind his words. 

He looks up from your breast, his eyes so soulful. 

“Mmm hmm,” he hums. “But let’s just call all this a rehearsal,” he smiles, surging up to kiss your lips, “practice makes perfect after all.” 

——

It’s funny how fast things can move when they are right, and you’ve known someone your whole life.

After four months, he picks up the keys to his new house, adding your name to the property deed without you knowing. He proposes getting down on one knee in the garden the very next day.

You get married in that very garden three months later.

Nine months hence your honeymoon baby is born, all that practice serving you very well. Just before your seventh wedding anniversary, you’ve given birth to your fourth. Your fifth and final child is conceived against the wisteria-clad walls of Aubrey Hall after you win a particularly spirited annual family game of Pall Mall. It somehow seems fitting that your last child is conceived the same way you first had sex. 

Not that you ever stop; you just insist on a vasectomy after five mini Bridgertons. And when your eight-year-old walks in on you going at it on the kitchen table, you both vow to only do it in your bedroom from then on. That vow lasts about three weeks. Well, he shouldn’t attend a wedding in a dark blue suit, should he? It’s not your fault if he looks so irresistible you have to drag him into the gardens, is it?!

Benedict Bridgerton has indeed been many things to you over the years - your very best friend, a fantastic scrambled egg maker, the best person to play chess with, a damn good shag - but mostly the best husband and father you could ever possibly imagine.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @wysteria-clad @kkpolakow @colettebronte @severewobblerlightdragon

[felassan]

Dragon Age development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

Some really tasty factoids here.

Cut for length.

Dragon Age: Origins

The continent of Thedas was at one point going to be named Pelledia, a name initially floated by James Ohlen

“Qunari” was a temporary name that ended up unintentionally sticking, much like “Thedas”

Mary Kirby wrote the Landsmeet. To this day, nobody understands how it works, except possibly her. If she’s “really really drunk” she can explain how it works. There’s as many words in it as Sten’s entire conversations put together

Concept art for Thedosian art - as in in-world art - draws heavily on Renaissance-era portraiture, the Art Nouveau movement, religious styles and media like stained glass, and favorite pieces from the golden age of illustrations in the early 20th century

Andrastianism in-world (art-wise) is depicted in wildly different methods depending on who in-world made the art in question. “One religion, 3 different lenses”. There’s the Chantry take, the Orlesian take and the Fereldan take; each with its own different interpretations, different mediums and different stories

The stained glass images were drawn by Nick Thornborrow for DAI, to decorate religious spaces in that game “and beyond”

irl Viking art influenced Ferelden

Greek and Italian art influenced Orlais

The book also had other insights into and anecdotes from the development of DAO, but I’ve transcribed them recently as they’re essentially the stories DG has recently been relating on the awesome Summerfall Studios DAO playthrough Twitch streams. (On those streams he provides dev commentary while Liam Esler plays through DA. The ones with DG are currently once every two weeks. Check them out! Here’s a calendar where you can check when the next one is) Instead of repeating myself I’ll just provide the link to the first transcript. From there you can navigate to the subsequent parts. Note these streams are ongoing. At this point I will also point you to a related post which is cliff notes of the Dragon Age chapter in Jason Schreier’s book Blood Sweat and Pixels.

Dragon Age II

DAO had the longest development period in BioWare history. In contrast DA2 had the shortest

Initially DA2 was going to be an expansion to DAO. A few months in EA said “Yeah, expansions like these don’t sell very well, so let’s make it a sequel.” So it suddenly became DA2 and they had to make it even bigger, although they still only had 1.5 years of time in which to do this

Production of DA2 officially lasted only 9 months, and at the time the team was still supporting live content for DAO! They finished development that January after the design team crunched all the way through the holiday period that year. Then it went to cert 9 times

The limited time they had is why the story takes place mostly in and around 1 city, and over 7 years (so it was temporal, rather than over physical distance, because a more expansive world would have taken more irl time to make)

They had no time to review even the main plot. Mike Laidlaw pitched the idea of 3 stories taking place at different points in the PC’s life, tied together by Varric’s recollections of events. DG rolled with this and made 1 presentation on the idea. This presentation was then approved and off they went

As they were writing DG realized that there was going to be no oversight and that everything was going to be a ‘first draft’. “Because nobody had time.” He sat down with the writers and said “Look, here’s the conditions we’re working under. A lot of what we’re putting out is gonna be raw. We’re not going to get the editing we need. We’re not going to get the kind of iteration we need. So I’m going to trust you all to do your best work.”

Looking back, DG has mixed feelings on DA2. “A lot of corners were cut. The public perception was that it was smaller than DAO. That’s a sin on its own.”

Despite this he thinks DA2 has some of the best writing in the series, especially character-wise. The DA2 chars are his favorite

The pace with which production progressed may in some ways have helped. “When we do a lot of revision, we often file away [as in buff off] some of the good writing as well. Somehow DA2′s whirlwind process resulted in some really good writing”

The pace meant chars landed on the writers in various stages of completion. For example Isabela was fairly defined due to appearing in DAO. In contrast Varric at the start was just that single piece of widely-shown concept art

Varric was conceived as a storyteller not a fighter. His skills are talking and bullshitting. Hence the question became, so what does this guy do in combat? The direction was to make him as different as possible to Oghren, so not a warrior. He couldn’t be a dual-wielding rogue in order to differentiate him from Bela. But you can’t really picture this guy with a bow. “For a dwarf, it would probably be a crossbow. We didn’t have crossbows, or we only had crossbows for the darkspawn. And they were part of the models. We didn’t have a separate crossbow that was equip-able by the chars. They had to like, crop one off a darkspawn and remodel it. And that became Bianca” (quote: Mary Kirby)

“Dwarven mages are exceedingly rare.” [???]

If DAO was a classic fantasy painting, DA2 was a screenshot from a Kurosawa film or a northern Renaissance painting. (Here Matt Rhodes was commenting on art style)

John Epler: “In any one of our games, there’s a 95% chance that if you turn the camera away from what it’s looking at, you’ll see all kinds of janky stuff. The moment we know the camera is no longer facing someone, we no longer care what happens to them. We will teleport people around. We will jump people around. We will literally have someone walk off screen and then we will shift them 1000 meters down, because we’re fixing some bug.” John also talked about this camera stuff in a recent charity Twitch stream for Gamers For Groceries. There’s a writeup of that stream here

Designing Kirkwall pushed concept artists to the limits of visual storytelling, because it has a long history that they wanted to be present. It was once the hub of Tevinter’s slave empire, so it needed to look brutal and harsh, but it also then needed to feel reclaimed, evolved, and with elements of contemporary Free Marches culture

The initial plan was for DA titles to be distinguished by subtitles not numbers, so that each experience could stand on its own rather than feel like a sequel or continuation. (My note: New PCs in each entry make sense then when you consider this and other factoids we know like how DA is the story of the world not of any one PC). Later, DA2′s name was made DA2 in a bid to more clearly connect the game to its predecessor. For DAI they returned to the original naming convention. (My note: so I’d reckon they’d be continuing the subtitle naming convention for DA4)

DA2 was initially code-named “Nug Storm”, strictly internally

The Cancelled DA2 Expansion - Exalted March

This was a precursor to DAI

It was meant to bridge the gap between DA2 and DAI

It focused on the fallout from Kirkwall’s explosion, with Cory serving as the villain

Meredith’s red lyrium statue was basically going to infest Kirkwall and it would end up [with what would end up] the red templars taking over Kirkwall and essentially being Cory’s army

To stop him Hawke would have recruited various factions, including Bela’s Felicisima Armada and the Qunari at Estwatch, forcing Hawke to split loyalties and risk relationships in the process

It was meant to bring DA2′s story to an end and end in Varric’s death. DG was very happy with this because all of DA2 is Varric’s tale. The expansion was supposed to start at the moment Cassandra’s interrogation of him ended in the present. “And we finished off the story with Varric having this heroic death.” It tied things up and would have broken many fan hearts, something BioWare writers notoriously enjoy. But between a transition to the new Frostbite engine and the scope of DAI, the decision was made to cancel EM, work any hard-to-lose concepts into DAI, and in the process save Varric’s life. DG has talked about the Varric dying thing before

Concept art for EM explored new areas previously not depicted in the DA universe, with costumes that reflected next steps for familiar chars. Varric was going to war, what would he have worn? With Anders, if he survived DA2, the plan was to present a redeemed Warden

A char that vaguely resembled Sera in DAI was first concepted for EM. This fact was mentioned near this concept art (see the female elf) and this concept art of Bethany with the blond bob

The writers sketched out plans to end it with Hawke having the option to marry their LI. This included alternate ceremonies for party members like Bethany and Sebastian if the player opted not to wed. There was even a wedding dress made for Hawke. This asset made it into DAI (Sera and Cullen’s weddings in Trespasser). The dress can also be seen in DAI during an ambient NPC wedding after completing a chain of war table missions

The destruction of a Chantry was explored in concept art as it might have happened in EM. This idea ended up carrying over to the beginning of DAI. (My note: Lol, the idea that DA2 could have had 2 Chantries being destroyed in it 😆)

World of Thedas

Sheryl Chee and Mary Kirby started with “a disgusting little dish called fluffy mackerel pudding”. In the middle of DAO’s busy dev period one of them (they can’t remember who) found a recipe online for this, scanned in from a 70s cookbook. “I don’t understand why it was fluffy. Why would you want fluffy mackerel pudding?” MK says. “We loved it so much we included it in a DAO codex.”

This led them to create more food for Thedas, full recipes included, like a Fereldan turnip and barley stew from MK and SC’s Starkhaven fish and egg pie. The fish pie became Sebastian’s favorite. “To me it made sense for it to be fish pie because a lot of the Free Marches are on the coast”, SC says, “It was something that was popular in medieval times, so I thought, let’s make a fish pie! I looked at medieval recipes and I concocted a fish pie which I fed to my partner, and he was like ‘This is not terrible’”

For WoT the whole studio was asked to contribute family recipes which might have a place in Thedas. SC adapted these to fit in one Thedosian culture or another, including a beloved banana bread that localization producer Melanie Fleming would regularly bake to keep the DA team motivated. “Melanie’s banana bread got us through Inquisition”

DAI

It says part of DAI takes place in or near the border with Nevarra [???]

This game was aimed to be bigger than DA2 and even DAO in every conceivable way

The first hour had to do a lot of heavy lifting, tying together the events of DAO and DA2 while introducing a new PC, new followers etc in the aftermath of the big attack. DG rewrote it 7 times then Lukas Kristjanson did 2 more passes

DG: “Our problem is always that our endings are so important, but we leave them to last, when we have no time. I kept pushing on DAI: ‘Can we work on the ending now? Can we work on the ending now? Can we do it early on?’ Because I knew exactly what it was going to be. But despite the fact that it kept getting scheduled, whenever the schedule started falling behind, it kept getting pushed back... so, of course, it got left til last again.”

“The reveal of the story’s real antagonist, Solas, a follower until the end, when he betrayed the player”. “Solas’ story remains a main thread in Inquisition’s long-awaited follow-up” [these aren’t DG quotes, just bits of general text]

Over the course of development they had 8 full-time writers and 4 editors working on it. Other writers joined later to help wrangle what ended up being close to 1 million words of dialogue and unspoken text. While many teams moved to a more open concept style of work for DAI, the writers remained tucked away in their own room, a choice DG says was necessary, given how much they talked. All the talking had a purpose ofc as if someone hit a bump or wall in their writing they would open the problem up to the room

As writing on a project like DAI progresses, the writers grow punchier and weirder things make it into the game. This is especially the case towards the end of a project (they get tired, burned out)

Banter and codexes require less ‘buy-in’ (DG has talked about this concept a few times on the Twitch streams) from other designers. DG liked to leave banter for last as a reward because it was fun. Banter begins as lists of topics for 2 followers to discuss. These may progress over time or be one off exchanges. One banter script can balloon to well over 10k words. “The banter was always huge because we were always like, laughing, and really at that point, our fields of fucks were rather barren, so we would just do whatever”

The bog unicorn happened pretty much by accident. It was designed by Matt Rhodes and was one of his fav things to design. They needed horse variations and he had already designed an undead variant which was a bog mummy [bog body]. irl these are preserved in a much different way to traditional mummies. When someone dies in a bog their skin turns black and raisin-like. The examples we know of tend to have bright red hair for whatever reason. It’s a very striking look and MR wanted to do a horse version of this as he thought it’d be neat. 5 mins before the review meeting for it he had a big ‘Aha!’ moment, quickly looked up a rusty old Viking sword, and photoshopped it through its skull like that was how it died. “And I was like, ‘I just made a unicorn. Alright, in it goes!’” It got approved. “So we built the thing. It fit. It told a little story”

With the irl Inquisition longsword, one of the objects they tested its cleaving ability on was a plush version of Leliana’s nug Schmooples

The concept art team explored a wide variety of visuals for the Inquisitor’s signature mark. It needed to look powerful and raw but couldn’t look like a horrific wound. In some cases, as cool as the idea looked on paper, they just weren’t technically feasible, especially as they had to be able to fit on any number of different bodies

Bug report: “Endlessly spawning mounts! At one point during development, Inquisitors could summon a new horse every time they whistled, allowing them to amass a near infinite number of eager steeds that faithfully followed them across Thedas. “You could go charging across levels and they’d all gallop behind you,” Jen Cheverie says, “It was beautiful.” Trotting into town became an epic horse siege as a tidal wave of mounts enveloped the streets. Jen called it her Army of Ponies”

The giants came from DA Week, an internal period when devs can pursue different individual creative projects that in some way benefit DA. They also had a board game from one of these that they were going to put in but they didn’t have time. It’s referenced though. It was dwarven chess

Josie’s outfit is made of gold silk and patterned velvet, with leather at her waist. She carries “an ornate ledger” and she has “an ornamented collar sitting around her neck, finished by a brilliant red ruby, like a drop of Antivan wine in a sunbeam”

Iron Bull’s armor is leather. His loose pantaloons and leather boots give him agility to charge

On DAI in particular, concept artists took special care to make sure costumes would be realistic, at least in a practical ‘this obeys the laws of physics and textiles’ sense. “While on Inquisition, we thought about cosplay from a concept art perspective. Given how incredible a lot of [cosplays] are, I now am not worried about them. In fact in some cases in the future I want to throw them curveballs like, ‘All right, you clever bastards. Let’s see if you can do this!’”

2 geese that nested on the office building and had chicks were named Ganders and Arishonk (it wasn’t known who was the mom or the dad). Other possible names were Carver Honke, Bethany Honke, Urdnot Pecks, Quackwall, Cassandra Pentagoose, the Iron Bill, Shepbird, Garroose, Admiral Quackett, Scout Honking, HChick-47 and Darth Malgoose

Bug report: “The surprising adventures of Ser Noodles!” DAI was the first time the series had a mount feature, meaning this had a lot of bugs. A lot of the teams’ favorite bugs were to do with the mounts. There was a period of time where the Inquisitor’s horse seemed to lose all bone and muscle in its legs. They had a week or so where all quadruped legs were broken. It was a bit noticeable in things like nugs and other small beasties but the horse was insanely obvious. “The first time we summoned the horse [for this] and started running around, the entire QA exploration room just exploded with laughter.” Its legs flapped around like cooked fettucine, leading testers to lovingly nickname it Ser Noodles. At galloping speeds the legs almost looked like helicopter blades, especially when footage was set to classic pieces such as Wagner’s Flight of the Valkyries

For DAI the artists were asked questions like “What would Morrigan wear to a formal ball? Can Cassandra pull off a jaunty hat?”

On DAI storyboarding became the norm. John Epler: “Cinematic design for the longest time was the Wild West. It was ‘here’s a bunch of content, now do it however you want’, which resulted in some successes and some failures.” Storyboarding gave designers a consistent visual blueprint based on ideas from designers, writers and concept artists

Quote from a storyboard by Nick Thornborrow (the Inquisitor going into the party at the end of basegame sequence): “Until Corypheus revealed himself they could not see the single hand behind the chaos. A magister and a darkspawn combined. The ultimate evil. So evil. Eviler than puppy-killers and egg farts combined.”

A general note on concept art:

In the early stages of any project, before the concept artists are aware of any writing, they like to just draw what they think cool story moments could be. It’s not unusual for the team to then be inspired by these and fold them into the game as the project progresses

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

[sepublic]

New TOH 2B Promo Images!

            Let’s go over the obvious ones;

         Shots of Hunter on the Grudgby field; Any Sport in a Storm, clearly! What’s interesting is that not only does he join Willow in Flyer Derby, the new sport she’s interested in (which was already foreshadowed in the background of Season 2A!), but we also see him in his Golden Guard outfit, face revealed! Is he doing a big face reveal here in front of everyone; The bleachers are decorated with plants, possibly Willow’s own power! We also see Willow clearly excited for Flyer Derby tryouts, as well as a shot of Willow and her team in a Conformatorium cell, being whisked up by an abomination fist, Hunter outside watching and not looking exactly happy about it either?

         Does Hunter get these kids captured as part of his undercover mission, perhaps singling out the Flyer Derby kids as promoting wild magic? We know all of them have some history of defying the coven; Willow and Gus are obvious, Viney does mixed magic, and Skara supported the protest at Eda’s petrification! And is Darius bringing them in or OUT of the cell; Possibly on Hunter’s orders? That could lead into a potential Darius redemption, given how he and Eberwolf are framed near Raine in the end credits, and how we see a shot of him slashing through plant vines; Possibly Terra’s.

         After all, we see a shot of Amity in her school uniform, running and looking ready for business; And the background resembles the shot of Willow’s team being attacked by an abomination from the previous promo, even as a spell of hers erupts behind that same enemy abomination. It’s probable that Darius is here to arrest these kids despite Hunter’s feelings on the matter, which leads to Amity defending her friends.

         We’ve got some more Young Eda flashbacks, and what seems to be a younger Principal Bump??? We can see orange in the corner matching Eda’s hair… This does conflict with and retcon how he looked during Eda’s childhood way back in episode 9, but eh, whatever. That or Eda legit aged him that badly from her antics alone… Which I could believe.

         There’s some Elsewhere and Elsewhen shots; Luz surprising Lilith, who’s making models of those balusters from the Deadwardian era, Philip’s era! As well as Lilith being captured by some three-clawed creature in lighting similar to a shot from the previous promo, where Luz uses an ice glyph; No doubt to save Raven Aunt!

         There’s Eda looking bashful, before somebody flies in from the top-left; The shoes make me think Lilith, is this Eda and Raine having a moment, and then Lilith arrives? Will we see Lily’s reaction to their relationship?!

         We have some shots likely pertaining to Reaching Out, now that we know its synopsis! Amity is being held by an Abomaton while it slices a book on Abomination creation; Is Alador doing some sort of psychological abuse to his kid here??? I’m ready to FIGHT… We also see that the lead Demon Hunter is hosting this underground fighting ring, of which Wrath, hypocriticially, is a part of; Likely calling back to our shot of him breathing fire in a previous promo. Amity has a CUTE new outfit... We see Eda and King holding him down, with Eda flexing her harpy mode, likely transitioning into that shot of Harpy Eda from the previous promo;

         There’s a shot of what’s clearly Kid Belos in a black-and-white memory… Belos mindscape… Luz casting a plant spell in the area outside Bonesborough, where Raine and Eda reunited; She’s in her school uniform, so it’s possibly Any Sport in a Storm! We’ve also got Letterman Luz attacking Hunter from behind, likely relevant to a later, edited background shot of Hunter attacking what appear to be wild witches…

         Finally, we have what appears to be some sort of orange witch, casting a flame? In the same area as Amity, so this might be Any Sport in a Storm; They don’t resemble any of the Coven Heads? Or is Amity fighting a different episode like Reaching Out, and this is part of the fighting ring… Is Willow’s team involved in this episode too as well? Then Luz and King learning the Jean-Luc FLESH MAGIC, from King’s dad!? Or reverse-engineering it, reanimating Jean-Luc?!

         And then we see Luz and Hunter, in what appears to be the lair of the Collector, AKA the Season 2B character Dana gave us a glimpse of; But the paintings tell us that it’s Belos’ memories! So he DID meet the Collector, and they were likely very important to his backstory… The golden glow enveloping Luz and Hunter looks like the same spell that takes them OUT of the memories, so uh. Uh oh. Who’s doing that…? Did they see too much and Belos is dragging them out himself?!

        That’s about it! I guess both promos combined sort of make up for the lack of a proper Season 2B trailer, but tbh, Disney could’ve just spliced them together with a proper song… But at least we have this and I am hyped!

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[multiverseofmiracleshq]

For the whole history of ADAM WARLOCK please click here.

← ONCE THERE WAS AN IDEA TO BRING TOGETHER →

Losing his mother has been hard. Adam was created with one purpose and that purpose is gone now. For the first time in his life he’s on his own to make his own choices and do what he thinks is right. It’s rather exhausting, honestly. Exhausting but ultimately rewarding. It’s taken some time to see that the Sovereign were flawed in the plans that they had for their mage. There’s a lot Adam can do with his powers that he’s now getting the chance to. He’s had no issue with traveling to Earth alongside the other Guardians. The planet doesn’t mean much to him, but he’ll go where his team is. Life without his mother is hard, yes, but it’s not desolate. There’s a lot of Adam to experience and he’ll take it one day at a time. It’s not what he had planned but it’s what he got. Most don’t get this kind of a second chance.

←  A GROUP OF REMARKABLE PEOPLE TO SEE IF THEY →

✗ ROCKET RACCOON (MCU) is a good leader. He’s certainly different than Ayesha or the High Evolutionary were. Rocket can be gruff at times but it’s clear that he cares. Adam is new to experiencing that. He’d like to think that his mother loved him, but their circumstances were different. With Rocket, he knows where he stands and it’s not as a weapon. It’s as a person who deserves a second chance that he’ll take full advantage of.

✗ AYESHA (MCU) helped to create Adam, and he saw the High Priestess as his mother. She wasn’t to blame for him being removed from his cocoon too soon. That was entirely the High Evolutionary’s fault. Losing her was incredibly painful, and he’s not entirely over it yet. The more of the world he experiences without her the more he realizes she had created him for a purpose that may not have been worth pursuing. That doesn’t mean he wishes her dead. Not being able to reach her in time to save her will continue to haunt him.

← COULD BECOME SOMETHING MORE  →

✗ THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (MCU) → Joining the team was part of Adam’s new second chance at life after he was rescued. He’s rather new to many things due to being so young and removed too soon from his cocoon; despite that, he’s catching on rather quickly and figuring out how things are done. Going straight from Ayesha to the Guardians has been the transition that Adam needs. He’s not ready to be on his own yet.

✗ OTHER AFFILIATIONS–  n/a

← & IF WE CAN’T SAVE THE WORLD, WE’LL AVENGE IT →

✗ AGE → 9 ✗ MULTIVERSE ORIGIN → mcu ✗ SPECIES → sovereign  ✗ ETHNICITY → up to player ✗ SECRET IDENTITY→ no dual ✗ RELATIONSHIP STATUS → open ✗ FACECLAIM → will poulter ✗ AVAILABILITY → taken

← FUN FACTS →

formerly the battle mage of the sovereign

considered the high priestess to be his mother

was removed from his cocoon too soon

created after the blip

[jaskiersvalley]

Your safari au. Please. I need it. Water my crops with tigers and hyenas and witchers. Grabby hands and pleading faces in abundance here.

You are after my heart, Nonnie. And considering I've only talked about the Safari AU on Novigrad, I will happily assume you're lurking on there and I love you for it. Tweaked a little to add in a hyena just for you.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

Taking over a park was no easy feat, especially not when it came with a reputation like Nilfgaard had. Eskel scratched his head as he poured over the various financial reports, wondering just how much of it could be trusted. The problem was Nilfgaard had been a shining beacon in the animal conservation world, exceptional facilities, high enrichment for the animals and a successful rehabilitation rate. If there was ever an animal in need of a place, Nilfgaard had been first choice for years. All that came tumbling down in light of the revelation that Nilfgaard had been trading illegally, their animals sold to private owners as exotic pets or, even worse, hunters who wanted a guaranteed, easy kill. The place had been shut down immediately, a skeleton crew kept on to tend to the animals but nothing more. Management was on trial and Kaer Morhen had won the bid to take over. Though small and mostly unknown, nobody else had wanted to touch the remnants of Nilfgaard so they were quite uncontested in their bid. What had seemed like a good idea at the time, an noble because it was in the interest of the animals, now was an absolute headache.

Between the three of them, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert could split most of the urgent work. They had Jaskier working on rebranding, Yennefer managing the board and Vesemir as the head. It left them free to run the day to day of the park, learning the animals as well as the people who they had kept on. But they were going to need more people to actually help the place flourish and regain its standing in the community. Which meant asking the heads of departments for who should be kept on and what roles to recruit for from scratch. The easy ones were things like hospitality, Zoltan had a firm grip on the needs of the park and its visitors, knew all the catering firms and how to run a tight ship. So it was one less headache for them. Eredin had stepped up as Head of Security readily once it was proven he had no knowledge of the animal smuggling. Again, his familiarity with the park was a boon, as were his connections, putting together a security team that could be trusted. Much more messy was the animal welfare section. Fringilla, much like Eredin, had stepped up to become interim Head Zookeeper and was doing her best. While they were understaffed, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert helped out where they could but much of their time was spent getting to know the routine of the park and its many animals.

"We need to know who we can trust," Lambert grumbled, leaning over the table where they had personnel files open. "It's impossible to know who was in on things and who wasn't."

Though, in all likelihood, none of the lower level workers knew that when they helped usher one of their beloved animals into a crate, they weren't sending them off to another facility or a happily ever after. But it was something they just couldn't risk.

"May I?" Fringilla asked, eyes roving over all the files. At Geralt's gesture, she began pulling some of them out. "You'll want Triss, she was a vet here, promote her to senior or chief or whatever you call it. She's solid. And Sabrina, she's great, works well with Triss. Retain Istredd, Mousesack, Calanthe and Eist too. oh, and Letho for the reptile house." As she spoke, she kept looking with a small frown.

"Missing someone?" Eskel asked. Nodding, Fringilla frowned. Without much care for manners, she walked to the cupboards and began pulling out files until she hit the folder of resignations and terminations. From there, she pulled out one last file.

"You'll want him."

The folder was taken from her and the three peered at it with varying levels of frowns.

"You want us to hire someone who was terminated for gross misconduct? Whose notes suggest he abused animals and has blacklisted from working with animals?"

"No. I want you to meet the whistle-blower. Cahir's the one who found out about the trafficking and reported it. Nilfgaard didn't take kindly to it and retaliated."

Not sold on the idea, Lambert crossed his arms over his chest. "His file doesn't look exceptional. Personally, if he applied for a job, I'm not sure he shines enough to even be called in for an interview."

It was a sentiment echoed by the other two and Fringilla had to fight to hold back a sneer. "Invite him in and judge for yourselves. Just because his record doesn't have a quantifiable or gradable measure of commitment doesn't mean he won't be fantastic. If we ever have a new animal in that doesn't need to stay hospitalised, I wouldn't want anyone but Cahir to help settle it in. Especially the younger ones and babies."

Against their better judgement, the three decided to follow Fringilla's advice and e-mailed Cahir an interview offer. The reply was terse but assured them that he would be there at the agreed time.

First impressions were, to put gently, not great. Cahir looked rumpled, bags under his eyes and his attitude was rather sullen. It didn't bode well as they sat in the office, Cahir an odd mix of defiant and subservient. At least Fringilla had the grace to push the interview forward as much as she could until even she sighed and leaned back.

"Why don't we walk through some of the enclosures? Make sure you still remember what's where."

As they walked, Eskel ended up next to Cahir, who seemed content to not talk. That didn't stop Eskel from trying to initiate conversation.

"So, what have you been doing in the three months since you left here?"

"Tried to survive."

The blunt answer had Eskel blinking, there were many things he expected but not that. "Oh?"

For the first time Cahir actually looked at him, sadness bleeding through his half glare. "I used to live on site, worked for Nilfgaard from the age of 15, took a full time post at 18 and moved into the small cottage in the southern corner of the land. They fired me, I lost everything."

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Eskel tried to figure out just how much of Cahir's so story was an exaggeration. "Have you been living with friends then?"

"For a few weeks, yeah." Cahir actually scoffed. "I've been trying to get a job and living in a hostel off savings. Turns out, only having in-house qualifications does not bode well for prospects in the world at large."

Fringilla led them into an enclosure where the grass was high. From the looks and smells, Eskel would have guessed it was a tiger's habitat but he wasn't familiar enough with the park yet to know. He would have hesitated going in, especially in a group like they were but Eskel had to trust Fringilla as she came to a stop and they stood in a loose circle.

The house Cahir had mentioned was one Eskel was familiar with. They had often wondered why it was empty yet well kept. It had felt like a life interrupted when they had a look round, nothing personal there yet it didn't have the empty, unlived-in feel of a show home. In a way, Eskel was regretting just how poorly Cahir's interview was going because he could easily see them offering his house back as part of a contract.

"So why are we here?" Lambert's words broke Eskel's reverie. "I thought we wanted to go on a walk."

It was by pure chance that Eskel caught Fringilla's smirk at Cahir and the slightest softening of that stern expression in return. Clicking his tongue, Cahir shot Lambert a look. "Tell me, have you ever been stalked by a tiger before?"

"No."

"You sure about that?" Cahir clicked his tongue twice and the world burst into motion. From the long grass a tiger pounced and Eskel was not ashamed to admit he let out a surprised yell. He wasn't the only one though, Lambert gasping, hand at his mouth and shoulders up as the tiger took Cahir out. They went tumbling and only Geralt looked like he might lurch into action, taking half a step towards the animal and Cahir. It would have been hopeless though, the two were wrestling on the ground until Cahir was on his back, tiger hunched above him.

The first thing Eskel noticed was how Cahir's face was creased into a happy grin. He looked younger, relaxed and happy ever as the tiger licked a large stripe from jaw, up his chin to his hairline. All Cahir did was laugh.

"Yes, yes, I missed you too, Princess," he said. fingers loosened from the fur in the tiger's neck and petted along her nose with the ease of familiarity.

"What the actual fuck?!" Lambert all but screeched. "What the fuckity fucking fuck?"

Eskel had the sense to look to Fringilla for answers, even if he wanted to watch Cahir with the tiger. The change in the man wasn't something he could have predicted. Gone was the sullen, defensive and standoffish air, replaced by an easy smile and a look of serene happiness as Cahir looked at the tiger, checking her over out of habit, muttering about dirty ears and mucky paws as he went.

"That is what you won't ever learn from a CV and qualifications," Fringilla said. She was absolutely looking smug. "Princess came to us at 9 months old, from a circus. Had terrible separation anxiety and a host of other issues too. She wasn't doing well despite our best efforts. At least, not until Cahir took her home and cared for her during the nights rather than leave her in a hospital cage. He introduced her to independence, slept out in the open with her for a few weeks when she was ready to transition to outdoors." Much more quietly, she added, "She's not the only animal he'd done that for. To find out some of his beloved children have been sold hit him hard. I don't think I'd ever seen him cry before then."

Turning back, Eskel watched as Cahir was sat on the ground, tiger with her back to him. The slightly strained "oh no you don't" from Cahir was lost as the tiger pushed up onto her hind legs and flopped backwards. Had she been smaller, Cahir would have probably caught her like a baby. As it was, he grunted as the weight crashed across his legs and he had a happily chuffing tiger's belly to tickle.

"I assume you'd vouch for him?" Geralt asked.

"In a heartbeat." Fringilla grinned at Cahir but it was lost on him, so focused on Princess as he was. The others might as well have stopped existing. That was the moment Eskel knew his heart was in danger. It didn't get easier as time went on. Hiring Cahir was proving to be a good decision. He just got on with the work, never finding anything distasteful or below him to do. If it needed doing, he got it done.

Over time he opened up too, Eskel found himself wandering down to the southern corner of the park to the little house that was now full of life. He got used to Cahir usually having a baby or two in his care. Sometimes he babysat for Letho's hatchlings, content to have baby snakes trying to look around his arms as they learned how to cope with being handled. The friendship between the two was one Eskel couldn't claim to understand but they seemed to make it work.

"Knock knock," he announced himself by the open back door.

"Come on in," Cahir called as he wandered out of the kitchen. "I'm just finishing making dinner, care to join me?"

That was new too, Cahir was inviting Eskel into his life more and more. It made Eskel feel even better about what he was planning to ask at Fringilla's instructions.

"I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow. There's a new arrival that we think will need your assistance."

Cahir cocked an eyebrow and held up an empty plate in question again. At Eskel's nod he began loading. "Anything you can tell me about it?"

"Not much. Private collector got raided, had a few animals in his less than tender care."

"So they'll be part socialised, part traumatised. I can work with that."

Somehow, Eskel had no doubts about that. But he was holding back some information because Fringilla had told him to keep it a surprise. The next morning the transport van rolled in, a small group of them ready to handle the newest arrivals. There were a couple of pythons for Letho to bring into his fold, a parrot for Guxart to train into swearing. Last was a large crate. As interesting as it was, Eskel's eyes were on Cahir, the way his nostrils flared as he caught scent of the hyena. The box opened and the animal cautiously peered out.

"Dave!" Cahir exclaimed, all semblance of quiet professionalism gone as he hopped off the top of the crate he'd helped open.

If his reaction had been exuberant, it was nothing compared to the hyena's. They collided next to the box, all over each other.

"I missed you buddy." There were tears running down Cahir's cheeks as Dave alternated between butting into him and running tight, excited circles around him before settling down and trying to bodily press into him. Glancing up, Cahir gave Fringilla a wobbly smile. "How did you find her?"

Her? Last Eskel checked, Dave was a male name. Still, he wasn't going to interrupt the tender reunion with such a dumb question.

"She was part of a collector's hoard. Didn't have the right permits so he was made to give her up to those who could offer her proper care."

A broken "thank you" was whispered in her direction before Cahir buried his face in the hyena's neck. Eskel watched with so many questions. Thankfully Fringilla didn't miss that fact.

"She was born in captivity, originally assumed to be a boy, needed to be hand reared after mum rejected her. She never understood that she wasn't human and as a result has spent most of her life living with Cahir. We've tried so often to introduce her to a pack but she never took to them, content to stay with them for a day, two at a push before she starts pining. When Nilfgaard sold her, that's when Cahir got suspicious, did some digging and realised she hadn't gone to another park. So Dave is a catalyst for this whole fiasco if you will."

Watching them, Eskel nodded. He had a hyena to befriend if he wanted to keep Cahir in his life it would seem.

[robin-josephette-biden]

A Statement Through Horror: BDG and YouTube

In his video announcing his departure from Polygon Bryan David Gilbert [BDG] stated, “I want to make things that one day people will make a show like unraveled about.” [Paraphrasing here]. Since that announcement he has made some of the most interesting and engaging comedy videos on the platform. On Bryan’s channel, there is a section called “bdg’s scaries” that contains three videos. The first how to make jorts was released April 27, 2019 and will not be part of this analysis, as we are focused on the other two videos. These two videos are Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss which was released on October 25, 2020 (two months before his final Unraveled video and departure from Polygon) and Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97 which was posted March 3, 2021. If you have not seen these videos yet you should stop reading immediately and go watch them both (honestly everything on his channel is amazing, especially the surprisingly compelling and personal Dances Moving! series) before continuing to read this as I will be spoiling both of them. The position of YouTube celebrity has been the source of a good bit of commentary as short form online media has become more and more central in our culture. Bryan has created two videos that I feel do an excellent job of exploring the relationship between youtuber and audience. I should also point out that this is merely my interpretation of these videos and is in no way BDG’s intended message. I’ll start by going over the first video. Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss opens with BDG outside an apartment building, standing in front of a black car. BDG points up at one of the windows and says, “Three years ago I was living in that apartment right there. Third floor, leaky windows, cockroaches, the worst.” I do not know if the real life BDG actually lived in that building, but the 3 years timeframe does line up neatly with his beginning to work at Polygon. BDG continues to bad mouth his old apartment and mentions how he has turned it all around stating, “But just last week I paid off my very first Subaru Impreza. And I own my own house in Nebraska.” This radical change in life-style he credits to, “. . . [working] from home, [making] my own hours, and [being] my own boss. And you can do it too.” I think that it is interesting that BDG’s career up to that point mirrors that of his character, going from newly graduated content creator making small videos in his apartment to one of the most popular creators on Polygon. And all that being accomplished through work that many (rightly or wrongly) would not see as fitting into the mold of the traditional 9 to 5. The idea of making millions working from home, at your own pace, and with no boss is intrinsically tied to the mystique of the YouTube celebrity. Moving into BDG’s office he explains that he makes $20k a month working on spreadsheets. A massive spreadsheet appears behind him that is dated, 01.12.88 (nothing of note happened on January 12, 1988 and the only thing that happened on December 1, 1988 is a large cyclone that struck Bangladesh, January 12, 1888 is the day of the Schoolhouse Blizzard which struck the midwestern US and killed 235 people (remember this for later)) and is filled, seemingly randomly, with garbled nonsense symbols. Many of the cells are the same as other cells and there are empty cells scattered haphazardly throughout the spreadsheet. BDG explains that he got this strategy from Dorian Smiles. In exchange for working on these spreadsheets BDG receives $10k - $20k a month (an amount that lines up pretty damn well with the amount he should be getting through his Patreon page currently, I don’t know if this was true when the video was made though) from Dorian. Wanting to know where the money is coming from BDG asks his bank and they explain that he is wiring the money to himself from another account he has. He grows confused as to the nature of this work and the disproportionately large amount of money it brings in, explicitly mentioning his confusion as to how the money is coming from someone with, “. . . my name and my voice.” and sets about to find and confront Dorian Smiles. BDG sets off for Center Nebraska, which is close to where Dorian lives (a small town in the northeast corner of Nebraska). He states that Dorian’s address hasn’t existed since 1888 (that’s a familiar year isn’t it?) when it was supposedly condemned during an enormous blizzard and is, “. . . just woods now.” The video then transitions to BDG walking through dark woods while his narration talking up the Dorian Smiles program continues becoming increasingly broken. He comes across a figure sitting in the woods that is convulsing strangely, when he calls out to it the figure turns and is him (heretofore named Dorian). Dorian slowly puts his hands over his nose and mouth while staring at BDG at which point the narration cuts out. BDG copies Dorian and when Dorian removes his hands in a flourish, BDG does the same to reveal that he no longer has a mouth. The video quickly cuts back to BDG in his office talking about the program, he asks the viewer, “Why don’t you join me?” and then sits back and smiles while that line repeats without him moving his mouth. The most pressing mystery is who Dorian Smiles is. I think the most likely answer (and one I know I am not the progenitor of) is that Dorian is a reference to The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, the story of a young man that has a portrait that ages and takes on the ravages of the debauched life its subject lives while Dorian himself does not. BDG would therefore be the unwitting recipient of that blessing, reaping massive rewards while his double, Dorian, lives in poverty and solitude. I like this explanation for Dorian, but I find it to be far more mechanical than thematic. On a metatextual level you could read that Dorian represents the character of BDG. The person that is in all of BDG’s videos, and the one with whom so much of the audience forms a parasocial relationship. In this lens the parallels with BDG’s own life make more sense. By this point in BDG’s career it is not difficult to imagine him feeling stifled creatively at work (I feel comfortable saying this given how soon after this video came out that he departed Polygon). His character had grown too large, potentially becoming alien to him, no longer reflecting the art he wanted to make and so he made a video about a distorted version of himself stealing his voice. In this way the video becomes a statement on his artistic integrity and his desire to test new boundaries and go in different directions. In hindsight, with the knowledge of his departure and then success after leaving Polygon, the video becomes almost heartwarming (if it weren’t terrifying) in the same way that a before and after picture of someone improving themselves can be. We will return to the Dorian Smiles system, but now we must move to the second video, Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97. I’ll save you the blow by blow breakdown and aim for a quick summary instead. This video is a simple stationary shot of an old CRT tv. A VHS tape is inserted and a video of a man teaching his, evidently young, son how to use a camcorder plays. It is relatively wholesome and corny in that way that all home movies are and when it ends the tape rewinds and the segment plays again, this time with a few deviations. Over replays the father becomes aware of what is happening and begins trying to reason with Jake through the camcorder begging him to stop watching the tape and move on. The father is menaced by a large shadowy figure that does not speak or move when confronted. Eventually the father resorts to simply taking the camera and recording his own screams of pain. On the final rewind the father simply says, “Attaboy.” before calmly walking out the room and into the dark hallway, a doorway opens at the other end, filled with orange light, and the father walks through and down stairs. The final shot of the video is of the television, showing the hallway, as orange light begins to flicker in the background of the left side of the TV. The sound of the father descending the stairs transitions from the TV to diegetic and a shadow appears briefly in the light. On one level the video is clearly a statement about loss and about trauma. Jake is losing himself by watching these videos on repeat, trying in vain to relive a happier time. In that desperate desire to regain what was lost he is distorting it, making it into something it isn’t, hurting it. At the beginning the father says, “Never ever press the rewind button, otherwise you might record over a precious memory. We always keep the recording going forward . . .“ I think there is an additional, and more personal for BDG, reading however. The father is the modern character of BDG, and we, the audience, are Jake. He is pleading with us to leave the past behind and move on. This was only his 3rd video that he posted after leaving Polygon. It is a plea from him to leave the old character behind and stop trying to make one into the other. To stop obsessively comparing the new videos to the old. To let the future be the future and let the past be the past. He is telling us that his new work will not be like the old, that he has progressed past that and that now his viewers need to as well. The detachment and confusion of Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss has transformed into a desire to move forward. But he needed to ensure that his audience was ready to come with him, and so he made a video about loss and the dangers of sinking too far into it. I know that there are some of you that feel I am reading too much of what I assume to be BDG’s thoughts and emotions into these interpretations, and I am the first to admit that I might be. In no way am I trying to say these are the only interpretations of these videos or even that they are correct. I think there is so much more of an artist that they put into their work than they realise. I do not know the mind of BDG, only he does, but these videos made me feel that I had a glimpse into the feelings of a man whose work I admire. These videos are either longer or a drastically different tone to the material he has put on his own channel and as such they stood out to me. They felt different, and they seemed to ask for a different level of scrutiny. On some level maybe BDGs videos can not be divorced from the story of BDG as a content creator, the same as any modern internet semi-celebrity, or indeed any artist. I guess there was also a part of me that wanted to answer the call to action I heard when BDG left Polygon, to unravel his work. I hope in some small way I’ve been able to do that.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. you know whats also bad about the red eyes? not only do they look awful on persephone's pink color, they're not even a unique feature? like we've seen hades' eyes go red, we've seen eros' eyes go red, and ares' eyes are ALWAYS red, so even this idea its her "unique queenly trait" doesnt even hold up?? because we've seen it on other characters before?like at least the blue glowing eyes looked unique and even gave her a possessed, otherworldly look, something with the red eyes just dont have.

2. The faces in the latest ep (not fastpass).... Ew

3. I saw someone praise lore olympus art, specifically the ones where Apollo is playing his lyre and Daphne is covering her ears while her hair is split in two (yuck! Bad decision looks awful) so we can see Apollo, the one where she transforms into her hibernation state (weird perspective, chin and neck, I think, also what the hell was that supposed to be?) and the last one before cutting to Thanatos (which, I admit looks a little better that the other but I still got distracted Apollo's arm among other things).

Now, Rachel is a professional artist like 15-25 years older than me (I dunno her age) drawing one of the most liked webtoons.

I feel like I'm nitpicking or being too harsh or crazy because I think it is a little terrible and this person thinks it's amazing and I know art is subjective and all but like the difference of opinion is jarring. I am by no means a professional and my art leaves a lot to be desired and I guess I don't have incredibly high standards (or do I? I'm second guessing). Is it really that good?

Because I know that Smythe commits more than a few anatomy atrocities. I wanted to redraw a few panels two years ago and I noticed a few things that Don't Work Like That.

4. ok but that other anon is right. we shouldnt have to go off old tumblr asks or random tweets to understand what's going on and who the characters are. rachel doesnt realize you have to actually write whats going on, not putting the readers on a scavenger hunt trying to figure out what they're even reading.

5. im honestly surprised LO hasnt ruined more mother figures at this point. maybe maia will be next and depicted as neglectful and hermes is only the way he is because hes acting out to be noticed by her, maybe dione will slut shame aphrodite, who knows, the possibilities are endless when its about ruining every mother figure to prop persephone and hera up and to avoid giving the characters actual personalities that isnt dependent on mommy/daddy issues.

6. I hate the clothing choice for Daphne in run for your life. It felt like she was drawn in a sexualized manner when she shouldn’t have been because she was running away from a r*pist. Like she almost had a nip slip, we almost got her ass, it was like Rachel was trying to fit her butt and chest in a lot of the frames like some video game with the token woman character. Like if a different dress was choosen or how she made Daphne tie the dress, I just feel like Rachel can’t draw outside of pinup sexy that well. Like sexy is fine for sexy scenes but running away from a r*pist is not sexy. (I probably sounded really lame, but the way Rachel presents the story in a feminist way but can only draw one way in not even the same style is annoying)

7. Things I think would have been better for the story instead of focusing so much on HXP

-Expanding on Minthe’s and Hades beginning of their relationship (he couldn’t of fallen for her since she didn’t laugh at him and when she yelled at him said it’s not your fault but you have the hat I think that would have added to his character more to see him more than a 40 year old who hits on barely legal)

-Leto’s kidnapping of Demeter. Both we/are close with Hera, and probably know or each other or may have been friends. Like I wanna know how Leto kidnapped her but also how are they interacting since they probably know each other and Demeter probably had Hera’s back when Hera ended their friendship.

-Ares return to Aphrodite. We don’t get to see much of her character but we know this is something she’s wanted, but they way it was handled was so flat, We assume Aphrodite told Ares that his gf slept with his father to save their son but we don’t actual read any words between the couple. And then they’re living together. I wanna see how they actually interact and stay together like their better moments. Like how well did he settle in, did they talk about how long he left for or is he mad like come on that’s something interesting but I feel like RS can’t write outside of HXP

-the deal with Echo. Why do people think Echo could possibly be Hera’s gf if she’s her assistant. Yeah they do dirty work together BUT I didn’t get a wiff or sexual tension or anything. Was it that she was there with the doctor? It just seems like Hera is that CEO trope who has the assistant always by her now.

-a little more of Pysche and Aphrodite friendship. Like Pysche says Aphrodite is lonely (and we can assume a part of that is Ares) but also because she “doesn’t have many friends” so why not a solo scene of just the two of them being actual friends. Like what did Aphrodite say when she brought back a purple nymph that was gonna help them with their work.

-Hermes not talking about Persephone. I feel like that 99% of what his character is and then just a little bit of himbo. 

-Maybe Thantos and Minthe started flirting/hooking up. We’re they friends first or flirts first? Was it after Hades and Minthe got into a fight or something else? What did Thantos like about Minthe and what does she like about him? Why did she stay with Hades with Thantos was there (it’s not like she wanted to be queen of the underworld) How did Thantoas and Thetis meet and become friends? Idk if I was seeing two guys and one of them actually liked my friend I might consider leaving Hades for him. But again hades did have the power to control everything in Minthe’s life (job, home, everything) I do like Daphne and Thantos But I feel like the transition could have been better if we knew more, but again RS can only focus on one thing and that’s HXP.

------FP Spoiler/Mention------

8. FP SPOILERS— I’m done. I’m really done. We called it. We FKN called it. They got married behind the readers back, Demeter didn’t respond to the question as she actively avoided it and time was up, Apollo is somehow involved in the trial- THIS WHOLE THING IS A MESS AND IM TIRED OF HOPING THAT IT GETS BETTER. Four FKN years of this??? I’m done with this Webtoon even though I’m FKN stuck in it. I’m so FKN done.

9. Fast Pass spoiler (kinda) OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED THE POMEGRANATE PIN IS JUST PASTED ON EVERY FRAME, NOT EVEN RE DRAWN FOR PERSPECTIVE, NO, JUST COPIED AND PASTED, REGARDLESS THE OUTFIT ANGLE AND LIGHTING, IT'S HILARIOUS!!!I mean, I knew the art was decaying, but this just made me laugh out loud of how bad it looked.

10. persephone’s pomegranate pin just looks like a giant fly that landed on her and won’t leave LMAO

[fiercely-raging-writer]

Happy STS, Jai!

For any 5 characters: What are their fatal flaws? Bonus: are they aware of it? (LIST)

Describe 20 seconds left in 5 words or less.

Do any of your WIPs have a theme song? If so, what is it?

What is your favorite part of writing? Least favorite?

For the WIP that best fits: Why did you decide to tell this story? Are there any special meanings behind it?

What type of scenes are the hardest to write?

Which of your OC's is your favorite to write?

Share an image (or several) that remind you of your story. (For WMITTO)

Share a line you're really proud of!! (Bonus: why do you like it?)

Have fun!

~Morri 🗡(@memento-morri-writes)

hey morri, happy sts!! thank you for all the questions, i love and adore you <333

under the cut because it got. really long.

listing out alex [wmitto], iza [tkqg], anusha [20sl], suraj [20sl] and amber!! [elemental]

alex: would save his friends over the world. he. he Becomes Aware of it.

iza: prideful. will never bow down, or stop fighting. this, ironically, also happens to be one of her best qualities. half aware of it.

anusha: timid. she's only truly Herself while acting, and she's afraid to step up and into the light. not aware.

suraj: thinks he's better than EVERYONE. so arrogant and also a selfish dick. he's majorly flawed also i love him. he is VERY aware of his flaws.

amber: will carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. very unaware of this. my baby girl <3

2. ooh, okay, five words: 'girl accidentally becomes a spy', alternatively, 'kids try stopping bomb explosion'.

3. 20 SECONDS LEFT. it's got the mission impossible theme song and also this fallout one and this other mi3 one AND this james bond one and also this final spy one. i have a tiny mission impossible obsession. and a tiny james bond one. i'm so sorry.

4. favourite part: getting to create characters and put them in situations and have them experience crazy things that make them grow as people. and also getting to work through your problems as you write and also writing things i love to read. least favourite part: the planning, + the little filling up bits where you have to transition between a scene and the next and you're just. blank. and also when you WANT to write but No Words.

5. for 20sl, because i am Attached, i made up this story ages ago, and it was based off this one scene i really wanted to write with cool spy gadgets. as a kid i was OBSESSED with cool spy gadgets. i wanted to fly, but i couldn't, so i made my characters fly instead. anyways, the books i grew up reading didn't really have any indian protagonists. i have one [1] book in my collection with an indian cast, and i wanted to write something for myself, something 12 year old me needed, something cheesy and silly and something kids in india could read and love. and yeah, the idea of gadgets and spies was adjusted a little and BOOM! i just want to tell the story of a Normal 12 Year Old Schoolgirl who now has to save the world.

6. transition scenes. i don't even know why. i jsut. find them difficult. also, action scenes, if i'm not Feeling The Mood.

7. alex and amber!! i project onto them so much hhh and also i find writing the pov character in true colours really easy and comfortable as well!!

8.

stuff like this yeah. all images from pinterest!!

9. hmm, going with this:

her hands still reach out, grab my heart, and she whispers: 'did you even love me?' i did. i did. i do.

it's from a poem i wrote!! i like it because it's. i do not know actually. i just kind of do kjdjkfhs.

thank you again for the ask!!

[dojae-huh]

So why do I agree with u that favourite is the worst dance from sm this year... at least for nct. It has good formations but the transitions arent clean, the boys just turn and walk away or to their nest spots. Its supposed to be a choreography not a few formations joined together. Look at all these choreographs by different ppl and danced by different groups

Flashback (/watch?v=IPsoes0eoU0&ab_channel=PLEDISENTERTAINMENT) Snsd genie (watch?v=qFkUKqpbp6s&ab_channel=pcwchn1) Nct u universe (watch?v=HC_P7elcEHs&ab_channel=NCT) Nct cherry bomb (watch?v=DbuKB0r0UNk&ab_channel=smile-wA-) Nct superhuman (watch?v=zmi9rbosz64&ab_channel=스브스케이팝%2FSBSKPOP)

I remember fans being a little taken aback coz they didn’t give their best this year for the awards and other performances but the dance saves it coz its interesting Nct regular (watch?v=jolJ9o8269U&ab_channel=BB2pnionIDOL) Twice fancy (watch?v=6J-2s2h45v8&ab_channel=M2) Hurtlocker 9muses (watch?v=ADEc4LqE-70&ab_channel=Mera)

I deliberately chose dances with 9 ppl in them, I'm no dancer but as a consumer I just dont get the way favourite was made, I guess cuz of the pandemic they limited the dances for the camera and have forgotten that when performed live they dont look nice at all.

Nct chain (watch?v=BYSEmWE0kdc&ab_channel=TheK-POP) 127 never really gave up their own individual styles of dancing and that is what attracted me to them and when they get a choreography that is good they kill it. They're slow and don’t seem serious abt doing the dance properly as the camera is the only one seeing the dance, the rest of the members don’t have to give anything coz only a few are shot properly at one time. Now abt them being very much of a mess for the last 2 years, pandemic is one reason that I never realised affected idols as they're selling loads of albums and selling merch without touring at all. Key coming back in the middle of pandemic and talking abt how it has affected the way he went to work made me realised that idols get alot of attention from fans and need that to improve and also work hard. Most ppl on stage saying they love their fans is true coz they love the attention they get and that makes them feel like they're doing something worthwhile. No fans being there to interact with them music shows must have not made waking up at 3 for recording worth nothing. Also taeil isnt the issue, as idols age they start losing the capability to move fast very taemin is slower in shinee and onew who is 33 has slowed alot. Them not being together shouldn't matter too, as idols bands after a period stop coming to learn dances at the same time, most learn it from tapes or ask a member to help them as almost all idols (especially from big labels have idinvivdual schedules) Taeyong isnt strict now, he was alot more hard on the boys in 2018 but since a few years hes backed out of being pushy with the boys. I dont know what's the reason, maybe members didnt take it too kindly to the way he was strict or maybe someone he fought with taught him to shut up. Sorry with so much shinee but I've known them longest so use them as an example, taemin could have has scolded and fought with the members for dances. Hes the only member who has fought with all 4 members in shinee and the hyungs have said most of these fights were about them dancing slow or not perfect. I've a feeling taeyong has given up as eunhyuk and shindong have with suju. These both dance well and leave the rest to just tag along.  Basically I think the older members are not serious enough (johnil basically) and I also blame the choreography

Flashback, Genie, Universe, Cherry Bomb, Superhuman

Regular, Fancy, Hurt Locker

Chain

[kiribaku-queen]

Home [10/10]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader

Fluff, angst, werewolf!au

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: Did I say Wednesday? Surprise! I have an extra day off work because of my injury, so I had plenty of time to write. And thank you for all your worries and encouraging messages. I’m A-okay! Thank you to everyone who supported this series and I hope this ending does it justice. Feel free to leave your final thoughts in the comments!

Summary: Being called the beauty of the clan isn’t as nice as it sounds. The beauty of the clan is supposed to exude confidence, power, and well, beauty. You were quite the opposite, only possessing one of those traits. Yet, the older you got, the more you fit into the role you were given. After your brother and all the boys of age come back from their training period, it was time to find a mate. But who will steal your heart? Is it Bakugou, the rising leader of the pack, or is it Kirishima, the personal guard and the strongest in the pack?

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Bakugou stalks back to your house, kicking rocks and ruffling his hair in frustration. He shouldn’t have walked out like that. He was just so annoyed and angry at the sight he was seeing that he just couldn’t bare to watch a second longer. The way Kirishima was sitting in your bed, cupping your cheek… it was all too intimate and affectionate for comfort. He didn’t know how you and Kirishima acted around each other when he wasn’t there. He didn’t know if this skinship was normal between you two. All he knew was that he didn’t like it.

He’ll admit it. He was jealous. And walking away like that definitely wasn’t how he should have reacted. So he’s on his way to apologize right now. It was the middle of the night so he didn’t even know if you were awake at this moment. But it was better than just waiting until the next day. How were you feeling? Were you upset at him? Angry? Did your quirk activate? Or was Kirishima there to help you? Fuck it. His answers will be answered when he pays you a visit.

The moon was high that night, giving him a clear view of what was in front of him. It was quiet. Not a single person in sight. It was actually kind of peaceful. This allowed Bakugou to clear his mind and let him think. And he thought about a lot. He thought about the event earlier, about his family, his role in the clan… you. Bakugou’s hands were stuffed in his pockets when he caught sight of your house. He decided to sneak in the back where you room was instead of going to your front door. It was the middle of the night afterall. It was probably best that he only wake up you and not your entire family. He was getting closer and closer to your window when he saw something or someone on your balcony. Bakugou squinted and realized it was you. His eye light up at the sight of you. So you weren’t asleep after all.

He starts to jog towards you, about to call out your name when he squints again. There was someone else with you. He starts to slow down his jog. It was Black Ghost. His jog then turns into a halt. Why were you on the edge of your balcony?

Then the realization hit him. The way you were standing. How your eyes were glossed over. You looked out of it, like you weren’t really there. He saw how Black Ghost was whispering in your ear. A tear ran down your face and everything was in slow motion.

“No…” he whispered to himself. You were going to jump. As if on instinct, he jumped into his wolf form, sprinting to you as fast as he could. His quirk giving him more power and speed which left burnt pawprints behind him. He was usually more careful about that but he didn’t care. All he could see was you and how he needed to save you. Right before you were about to hit the ground, Bakugou transitioned into his human form, catching you in his arms. He wrapped his arms around your body and head, protecting you from hitting the ground too harshly. As soon as he caught you, you both rolled on the floor to get a better landing. He made sure that you landed on top of him while he was beneath you. His breathing was heavy as he looked at you with worried eyes. You were passed out. Probably from shock. But you weren’t hurt. Thank god for that.

“Shit, (y/n),” Bakugou sighed in relief, hugging you. He squeezed you hard, but not hard enough that you were getting crushed. His heart beat in place, scared at what he just witnessed. He was going to close you and if he wasn’t there at that time, you would have been gone. Fuck, that was scary to think about. To think that you would actually leave him for good and know for a fact that you wouldn’t be coming back. So he continued to hug you, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He wanted to make you were still with him, still alive. But the moment he took in your scent, he cried. He didn’t want to face that ever again.

 You slowly opened your eyes, a pounding headache coursed through your head. You clutched your head and slowly got up. Your hands touched the soft blanket underneath you. You were in a bed. But from the smell of things, you weren’t in your bed. Taking another whiff, you knew. You were in Bakugou’s bed. You looked around but he wasn’t in sight. Moving around too much was making your headache even worse.

“God, what happened?” you questioned yourself, feeling groggy and clutching your head even tighter. You didn’t know why or how you got in Bakugou’s bed out of all places, but you knew you had to leave. But damn was that headache really getting to you. Quietly and swiftly, you moved the covers and gently moved to the side until your feet touched the ground. You didn’t want to pass out again so you took your time to get up. When your center of gravity was good and you were sure you were stable enough, you headed for the door.

You felt like you were sneaking into someone’s house but it was the other way around. You opened the door and flinched when you heard the door creak. Curse creaky doors. You tried to move it as slowly as possible to make a little noise as possible but creaks were still coming your way. Guess it can’t be helped. You stuck your head through the small crack and looked both ways. Bakugou was still no where to be seen. Inhaling deeply, you took a good sniff of the air. And although you were in Bakugou’s home and his scent was all around you, you could tell he was nowhere near you. It was safe to go.

You stuck one foot out the door and then the other. Slowly but surely, you were sneaking around his house and down the hallway, heading towards the exit. But you stopped when you heard voices coming down the hallway. You panicked a bit and hid behind the corner. It didn’t seem like the voices were coming towards you, so you continue to sneak towards the exit. The closer you got, the clearer the voices got and you froze. Not out of fear but out of surprise. You could hear a man and a woman’s voice. And they belong to Kirishima and Uraraka.

“I can’t do this anymore. I want out,” Kirishima said boldly, full of determination. Uraraka rolled her eyes and huffed at him.

“Oh please. Just because you’re starting to feel guilty? Well maybe you should have thought about that before agreeing to be my accomplice.” Uraraka said nonchalantly.

“You were threatening me. Whatever I chose, someone I loved was going to get hurt,”

“Yes, and you chose the girl over your best friend. I did this to help you! You get the girl and I get the power! We both used each other. And I almost have what I want. If you get in my way, I’ll be sure to kill your little girlfriend with my own hands,” Uraraka gave a devilish smile which made Kirishima’s blood boil. The thought of you killed? He couldn’t even fathom it. And there was no way he was going to let that happen.

“You touch a hair on her and I swear I’ll rip you to pieces,” Kirishima threatened, clenching his teeth. He pounded his fists together, activating his hardening quirk. Uraraka cocked one eyebrow, interested in his challenge.

“You wanna fight red head? Fine,” Uraraka touched her finger tips together, in a fighting stance. “Then I guess I’ll just have to kill you first.” But before either of them could touch each other, you stepped out from your hiding place.

“Stop!” You shouted without thinking. Shit. They were both looking at you now. Kirishima’s face was mixed with pure shock and fear while Uraraka’s expression didn’t change one bit. Your heart started to race because what the hell were you going to do now. You just jumped to stop them out of instinct but now you had no idea what to do. You can’t activate your quirk either. Not only do you now know how to control her but you are too nervous to even call her out.

“(y/n),” Kirishima called out to you, taking one step closer. But Uraraka was on her toes. She was already heading towards you with full speed that you couldn’t react quickly enough. Uraraka was about to lay a punch on you when an explosion happened right in front you, shocking all three of you. You look up and Bakugou stood in front of you, hands wide open to blast anyone who comes near him.

“Don’t fucking move or I swear to fucking god that I will blow you up with no hesitation,” Bakugou talked down to Uraraka, a fiery hand right in her face. Uraraka could only stand still in her position, defeated. Kirishima, still looking at you, took one step but Bakugou was quick to shoot a few blasts at his feet to stop him in his tracks. “I said don’t. fucking. Move. Traitor.” Bakugou growled, eyes glaring at his ex-best friend with pure hatred and anger towards the male. Kirishima was forced to stand there, pleading towards you with his eyes but you looked away. You overheard their conversation and couldn’t bear to look at him. Everything he did and said, you didn’t know what was the truth. He was siding with Uraraka this whole time and you were blinded by your breakup with Bakugou to even see it.

“Guards!” Bakugou shouted, still keeping an eye on the two of them. In the blink of an eye, guards surrounded all four of you in a big circle. “Arrest these two traitors.” He ordered. Without another word, all the guards surrounded Kirishima and Uraraka, putting them in handcuffs. While all that was going on, Bakugou turned to you, putting one hand on your shoulder and one hand on your cheek, eyes wildly checking your body.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?” his voice drastically changed from tough and demanding to soft and concerned. You shake your head and he sighs in relief. “You idiot… how could you just put yourself in danger like that?”

“I’m sorry, it just happened. I didn’t mean – oh,”  you stopped mid-sentence as Bakugou put your foreheads together.

“As long as your safe, that’s all that matters. But don’t do that again,” he states firmly, knocking your head with his knuckle.

“Son,” you both turned around and Bakugou’s father was heading in your direction. He stopped right in front of you guys, a proud look on his face. “Your plan worked. Well done,” he praised Bakugou and his face lit up just a bit. It was a slight change in his face but after knowing him so long, you could tell the difference.

“Thank you, father. It was pretty amateur of them to plan behind my back in my house. I was going to find out sooner or later.” Bakugou glanced at Uraraka, smirking to see how dissatisfied she looked being handcuffed on the ground. Uraraka just gives him a snarl.

“What now? Declare war on us? That’s even better because I can defeat you fair and square and rule your clan with no problem,” she tried to bluff but Bakugou wasn’t having it.

“I could declare war,” Bakugou pauses to squat down to get to her level. “But I know that you acted on your own and your whole clan doesn’t even know you backstabbed them into getting what you want, not even your own family,” he whispered. Uraraka’s eyes widened in shock for she has not told anyone that, not even Kirishima. The look in her eyes told all and Bakugou stood up again. “How do I know? Well maybe you can ask your father that.” Bakugou stepped to the side, introducing Uraraka’s father in the flesh.

“Father!” Uraraka yelled in a panic. She tried to stand up but the guards kept her down. Her father was angry and disappointed and frown down at her.

“You lied to me. Manipulated me. Backstabbed me and your entire family, for what? To rule both clans? Were you that power hungry?” her father yelled and lectured her. With every word, Uraraka’s head kept getting lower and lower, unable to look her father in the eyes. Uraraka’s father turned towards Bakugou and his father on his knees, bowing down until his head hit the floor below him. “Please forgive us. I did not know my daughter was planning such things. You can punish her however you may please but I beg of you to not declare war on my clan. My daughter is no longer associated with us. We do not wish to ever over rule you. We just wanted to fuse together and rule together.” her father begged.

“Father,” Uraraka started to say but was quickly hushed with a slap to the cheek.

“Be quiet you. One more word and I don’t know what I’ll do to you,” her father threatened while pointing a finger in her face. She became real quiet after that.

“Well first things first, the wedding is off. And Uraraka Ochako will be banished from this clan forever,” Bakugou’s father informed the other clan leader.

“Of course,” he went back to his bowing position.

“And the alliance is off,” he added one more thing. This made the other clan leader pop his head up.

“But-” he started to retaliate but Bakugou’s father put his hand up, silencing him.

“This alliance started because I was worried about my clan dying out, that is true. But,” he looked at Bakugou with much pride in his eyes. “I think we are going to be just fine.” Bakugou gave his father a proud smile and determined eyes.

“Understood. I will take my daughter back and give her the right punishment for this crime. And trust me when I say it will be a cruel one. Let’s go,” Uraraka’s father tugged on her by the arm, handcuffs still attached and dragged her away. Uraraka knew she was defeated and couldn’t do anything so she was willingly dragged away. Bakugou’s father turned to Bakugou and glanced at Kirishima, who was still be restrained.

“You can chose what you want to do with him,” and with that, patted Bakugou on the shoulder and headed off. When he passed him, his father was in front of you. You looked down and bowed a bit to show respect. You wished he would quickly pass you but he stayed in front of you.

“(y/n),” he called out your name, shocking you. You looked up and he’s looking away from you. “I apologize for breaking you two apart. I was only doing what I thought was best for my people. But I hope you will continue to be by my son’s side while he rules this clan,” before you could finish processing what he said, he walked away. Bakugou cleared his throat in embarrassment because he heard the entire thing. That was something to be talked about later. Right now, he needed to figure out what to do with Kirishima. Whether or not he thought he was doing the right thing or if his intentions were for good, it didn’t matter. He still sided with Uraraka who was trying to overthrow him and take over both clans. He deserved to be punished.

“Kirishima Eijirou,” Bakugou called out, not happy at all. Kirishima looked up with desperate eyes but that didn’t face him. “From here on out, you are banned from this clan and are forbidden to come back under no circumstances.” Bakugou declared. Kirishima felt his heart sink to his stomach. He couldn’t believe his ears. No, no. This wasn’t happening. Kirishima looked at you and you were already looking at him with pitiful eyes.

“(y/n), please. I didn’t want to do it. She tricked me. I’m so in love with you, please.” Kirishima pleaded to you, but what could you do. Bakugou had the last say. You could try to convince him. But Kirishima did betray you. Everything was a lie, from the very beginning. You couldn’t trust him anymore.

“You lied to me, Eijirou. I don’t know what to believe anymore,” you said, hurt.

“Maybe in the beginning, but I know where I stand now. I wanted nothing to do anymore. You heard me. I wanted out. Because I didn’t want to hurt you. Please, (y/n). I love you. If you believe anything, believe that. I love you, (y/n). Please. Don’t do this,” Bakugou moved so that Kirishima’s vision of you was blocked.

“Enough. Get him out of here.” Bakugou ordered. Two guards held Kirishima by both sides and started dragging him away.

“No! NO!” Kirishima struggled against their hold but to no avail. His eyes desperately searched for you but Bakugou was hiding you behind his back. Kirishima was dragged away without seeing you for the last time.

Bakugou sighed and ran a hand through his hair. There was no one in the room besides you two.

“Man, that was a long night.” He stated and turned to you. You were looking down and fiddled with your fingers. He took notice of that and knew that you had something on your mind. Of course you did. So much happened in such a short amount of time that it was a lot to take in.

“Katsuki, about what your dad said. What did he mean?” you looked up and a slight blush could be seen on his face.

“Well, I guess he was implying that I would rule with you as my bride. But,” his shy look turned into sadness. “I know you don’t feel the same way about my anymore. So don’t worry about it, alright? Let’s get you home,” he gave you a sad smile and motioned for you to go first. But you didn’t move. Instead, you looked up at Bakugou’s eyes.

“I think I’m already home,” you whispered for his ears only. Bakugou froze in his spot and stared down at you.

“What-What did you say?” Bakugou asked, not believing what he just heard. You looked away refusing to say it again.

“I don’t know if I can trust you right now, but I think… I think we can try again. Afterall, how can I be your wife if I’m not your girlfriend first?” you bit your lip and glanced up at him. Bakugou looked baffled. But in a good way. He looked away, letting out a breathy laugh. When he looked back at you, he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you toward him so that your bodies were flushed together.

“Then be my girlfriend,” he declared. You gave him a smile.

“Gladly.”

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @goodpop9 @tspice283 @marvelobsessedteen @rosetheshapeshifter @cabbagesquadfam @bnha-iamhere @theartsydoodler @taehyungbbe

A/N: Thank you to everyone who supported this series and left amazing comments and asks! I read all of them everyday and I couldn’t have made it this far and made all these accomplishments without you guys! So I’m giving you a choice on what I should write next!

Continue writing for Bakugou, but they will only be onehsots OR

Continue writing a series, but the next series will have Hawks and Dabi as the main characters

I have my asks opened if you have questions about anything on the series. If you are confused about parts or are wondering about what happens next. Any questions are accepted and will be answering all of them! Can’t wait to see you all next Monday!