#trans women are so much more than their genitals

[cursedyuri]

ok thank you for saying something about the gp fics it feels hella transphobic. like v much fetishizing trans women’s bodies

one thing about me is i’m alwaysssss gonna say something. i’m sure most of the people writing these fics don’t realize how transphobic it is, but yeah, it’s really gross to see.

[genuflecting]

conflating sexual orientation with genital preference is just so weird to me. I told someone I was gay last night and they asked if I was into dick or pussy, and it completely short circuited my brain as I tried to explain that it's about gender, not genitals. It feels like if instead of asking someone if they liked coffee or tea, asking if they liked opaque or clear hot beverages. Like, I like tea with milk and also without, and I like coffee with cream but also espresso, but not black coffee? And in that same way, if someone is just squicked out by tea with milk that's completely valid for them, but to then extrapolate their own experience outward and define a tea drinker as someone who doesn't like milk is both a logical fallacy and reductive of the human experience. Gender and sex is so much more complex than that and I can't fathom trying to reduce it down to such a false binary.

[busket]

the biggest tip i can say about trans inclusive language when discussing anatomy is to just say what you mean without trying to find a euphemism, and to be specific to the conversation that you're having. if you're having a conversation about childbirth, say "people who can give birth". not everyone who can give birth is a woman and not every woman can give birth (both trans and cis), so don't say "women" or "mothers" or "females", you don't even have to say like "womb haver" or whatever. "person who can give birth" is specific and clear if you're talking about childbirth.

if you're talking about penis and testes, just say that. "men" in that context is cis-centric. "amab genitals" means nothing, since trans women can have bottom surgery, and intersex people exist in all kinds of physical expressions of sex.

avoid sexualized terms like tits/boobs (use breasts) or dick, balls, etc. those terms take on a context that can make folks feel uncomfortable about their anatomy due to the sexual context. I feel uncomfortable when people try to be inclusive and say shit like "pussy haver" but if I'm reading a medical article about vaginas I'd much rather it be addressed to "people with vaginas" rather than "women"

the more we separate language of body parts from gender identities and actually start speaking frankly and respectfully about anatomy without acting like its some taboo, the better it will be for trans and intersex people. it can help cis people too. you can be a cis woman who doesn't have a womb, you can be a cis man who doesn't have penis or testes. imo this kind of language is inclusive not only for gender non-conforming people but everyone with a physical difference in their sex characteristics, due either to genetics or a lived experience!

[5-htagonist]

l@imari has a place in my heart fr

[this-is-exorsexism]

this isn't something that exclusively affects nonbinary people, but for reasons i'm gonna get into, we're disproportionately and the most obviously affected by this.

whether we'd like to admit it or not: the trans community has a problem with bioessentialism and is at times just as obsessed over genitals at birth as cis people are.

it becomes really obvious when you look at how nonbinary people are grouped into amab and afab, transmasc or transfem. for trans men, everyone assumes they were born with a vagina, for trans women, everyone assumes they were born with a penis. with those terms, it's easy for people to make assumptions about "where they came from", i.e. what genitals they were born with. of course in these ideas, there is no room for intersex experiences.

nonbinary is more vague and doesn't have "built-in" assumptions about AGAB or genitals at birth. and people hate that. i believe it's one of the main reasons why people are obsessed with dividing us into amab and afab.

but many people have realised that this isn't a good look, so instead they divide us into transmasc and transfem. if trans men are assumed to all be afab and have vaginas at birth, then so are all transmascs. of transfems are assumed to all be amab and have penises at birth, then so are all transfems. (note: this is not at all about people self-identifying as transmasc or transfem, but rather about people using them as collective descriptors.) nonbinary people are constantly confronted with questions like "are you transmasc or transfem?" by other trans people, trying to figure out "where we came from". nonbinary people confuse most people, and most people can't sit with that at all. transmasc and transfem as collective terms like this are considered less bad than amab and afab, because at least they don't refer to agab anymore, so we're not allowed to say anything. ignore the fact that these terms are misgendering many of us and painting a linear picture of the gender spectrum.

i'm very sure that this is also why people hate afab transfems and amab transmascs so much. if transmasc no longer automatically means afab, and transfem no longer automatically means amab, then these terms have supposedly "lost all meaning", because whatever will i do if i don't know what genitals someone was born with.

because let's be real, that's what the obsession with AGAB comes down to. you were born with either a vagina or a penis and that will shape all of your trans experiences. once again ignoring intersex people or any sort of diversity in people's upbringing. it's bioessentialism.

and because nonbinary as a label is free from agab assumptions, we're called by these extra terms that we may or may not identify with way more often. not only are we reduced to our bodies, we're also misgendered and/or consistently related back to our agab in the process.

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

will you please give us examples of resources to look at if we want to learn more about the concept of gender and maybe even transness in Medieval Europe? thanks!

whooooo boy right, there's a lot! I wanna start this by saying that I am very much not an expert, and I only have access to stuff I can find for free and the handful of books I can afford to buy second hand. Most of my research has been around gender as it relates to transness and GNC people. I am absolutely missing stuff, or have forgotten stuff, or simply lack the know-how to find stuff.

There's a few bits I've got on a TBR but haven't read yet - some I've included and some I haven't, depending on the source and how established it is.

Also: this is medieval Europe. The way pronouns are used to describe people don't really align with modern views of sex and gender. Also be aware of old-fashioned language use (for example, some texts talk about "hermaphrodites"). Remember that the way we talk about gender and trans identities is far different to how we even spoke about it 20 years ago.

So with that out of the way... I am chucking this under a read more, because it's long:

---

GENDER

Medieval ideas around gender were different to how we now think about it. The Hippocratic view of gender saw gender as a sort of wet/dry, cold/hot spectrum upon which men were at one end and women the other (and in the middle were intersex people). The male body was seen as hot and dry, and the female as cold and wet. The cold, wetness is what made women try to seek out heat from guys. A lot comes down to humors rather than genitals - if you're hot and dry, that innately means you grow a penis, because the heat sorta forces it out. So the marker is that penis = man, but you only have that penis in the first place because of your hot, dry humor.

Some people believed the vagina was an inverted penis - as in, the penis turned outside in. Some schools of thought believed that both men and women produced "seed", and that both were needed for conception. These thoughts and ideas shifted around a lot.

The Hippocratic view shifted towards Aristotelian ideas around the 12th Century, where the male/female divide was a lot stronger. There were also surgeons throughout all these periods who sought to "correct" intersex genitalia with surgery (how little things change).

This podcast (I've linked to a transcript, because I have more time to read than listen to things) with Dr Eleanor Janega is super interesting. In fact, I'd recommend reading her whole blog, which is fascinating. She also has a book out (but I've not read it so I can't give a yay or nay on that one)

The Meanings of Sex Difference in the Middle Ages by Joan Cadden seems to be a good source on this, but I've not read it so I can't vouch for it 100%.

I've listed below some real people who could fit into our modern interpretation of transness, and the fact that all of these people were only "outed" when arrested or at their death makes me think that there were probably a lot more people at the time who would also fit into this category. It does feel (to me, a layman) that you could rock up in a new town and go "hello I'm Jeff the Man" and people would just accept that.

It's also important to note that the majority of sources I've found are about people we could define as trans men (FTM). I've only found one person who could be described as a trans woman. If anyone out there has more sources for trans women, I'd love to hear them - specifically in medieval Europe/England.

There's also a big discussion to be had around the idea of women dressing as men to achieve a goal. People love getting into arguments about it. My general rule is that if someone lived as X gender, and was forcibly outed against their will or at death, then I feel we can more safely assume that their experience maps more closely onto a trans narrative than it does one of a woman taking on the "disguise" of a man.

---

TRANS & GNC ACADEMIA

Here's some of the sources I've been using that examine medievalism through a trans or trans-adjacent lens.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, Alicia Spencer-Hall & Blake Gutt - a deep dive/collection of essays about medieval religious figures/saints through a trans lens, specifically about cross-dressing figures. Really fascinating, and available on open access.

How to be a Man, Though Female: Changing Sex in Medieval Romance, Angela Jane Weisl - goes into detail about medieval texts in which characters change their sex.

Transgender Genealogy in Tristan de Nanteuil, Blake Gutt - trans theory in the story Tristan de Nanteuil.

Trans Historical: Gender Plurality before the Modern, edited by Greta LaFleur, Masha Raskolnikov & Anna Kłosowska - A great big examination into trans history/gender. I desperately want this book.

Clothes Make the Man, Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe, Valerie R. Hotchkiss (book, no online source available) - Another look into women dressing as men and gender inversion.

The Shape of Sex, Leah DeVun (book) - A history of nonbinary sex, 200 - 1400BC. Not read this one yet but it's on my TBR.

In fact, I'd recommend all of Leah DeVun's work, which I'm currently making my way through. I'm currently reading Mapping the Borders of Sex.

The Third Gender and Aelfric's Lives of Saints, Rhonda L. McDaniel - An examination into the idea of a "third gender" in monastic life based around chastity and spiritualism

Erecting Sex: Hermaphrodites and the Medieval Science of Surgery, Leah DeVun - an essay about "corrective" surgery on intersex individuals in the 13th/14th centuries. (I've not fully read this one yet but the topic is relevant)

----

TRANS FIGURES

Joseph/Hildegund (died 1188) - A monk who, upon his death, was discovered to have a vagina/breasts.

Eleanor Rykener (1394) - A (likely) trans sex worker arrested in 1394 (and another source that isn't wiki)

Katherina Hetzeldorfer (killed 1477) - An early record of a "woman" being executed for female sodomy. Katherina dressed and presented as a man, and some scholars read them as a trans man.

Marinos/Marina the Monk (5th Cent) - A monk who was born a woman and lived as a man in a monastery. Marinos was accused of getting a local innkeeper's daughter pregnant. Their "true sex" was discovered upon their death.

-----

ROMANCES* & GENDER

If you're interested in the idea of gender presentation and trans-adjacent stories, I very much recommend taking a look at some contemporary sources. I've tried to take a sort of neutral approach to pronouns for these descriptions, but it's hard to marry the medieval and modern ideas of sex and gender! The titles are all links.

*Romances here means Chivalric Romances: prose/verse narratives about chivalry, often with fantastic elements. Not, like, falling in love Romances.

Le Roman de Silence (13th Cent) - in order to ensure inheritance, a couple raise their daughter as a boy. The baby is called Silence/Silentius/Silentia. The poem features the forces of Nature and Nurture, who argue about Silence's "true" gender - Nature claims they're a girl, and Nurture claims they're a boy. Silence has a variety of adventures, largely referred to in the text as a man with he/him pronouns, and at the end their "true gender" is discovered and, as a woman, they marry the king.

Yde et Olive (15th Cent) - to avoid being married to their own father, Yde, a woman, disguises themselves as a man and becomes a knight. They end up in Rome, where the king marries them to their daughter, Olive. After a couple of weeks, Yde tells Olive about their "true gender", but the conversation is overheard. The King demands Yde bathe with him to prove they are a man. An angel intervenes and transforms Yde's body into that of a man.

Iphis and Ianthe (Greek/Roman myth, but also in Ovid's Metamorphois, which first came to England in the 15th Cent) - Telethusa is due to give birth, but her husband tells her that if the baby is a girl he'll have it killed. When she gives birth to a girl, she disguises the baby as a boy. Eventually, Iphis is engaged to Ianthe. (Incidentally, this is also a really early example of same-sex romance, as Iphis struggles with their love for Ianthe "as a woman"). Before the wedding, Iphis and Telethusa pray at the temple of Isis, who transforms Iphis into a man.

Tristan de Nanteuil (11th/12th Cent) - from the Chanson de geste, after his alleged death, Tristan's wife, Blanchandin/e, disguises themselves as a Knight. Clarinde, a sultan's daughter, falls in love with them. Blanchandin manages to hide their "true sex", but when Clarinde demands they bathe with her to prove they are a man they flee into the woods. There, they meet an angel who asks if they want to be transformed into a man. Blanchandin accepts and he is turned into a man for the rest of the poem. (Incidentally the angel gives him a giant cock. Yes, the text specifies this).

Le Livre de la mutation de fortune (1403) - written in the first person by Christine de Pizan, the poem describes how the narrator is transformed by Fortune into a man after the death of their husband during a storm at sea. They maintain that 13 years after the event, they are still living as a man. (They also mention Tiresias, a Greek mythological figure who was a man transformed into a woman for seven years).

Okay, for now - that's about all I can think of. Happy reading!

[genderkoolaid]

We don't have good statistics or estimates for the population size of transmasculine sex workers. Part of that is a lack of data on sex workers in general, but part of it is that trans men are often not visibly trans when they participate in sex work. A lot of the trans men and transmasculine people who sell sex do so under a female persona. The escorting profile of a trans man might be indistinguishable from the profile of a cis woman – intentionally on his part – to attract as many clients as possible. This means that in practice, this segment of the transmasculine population are recorded as cis women. If we were to assume the population of trans men selling sex was accurately reflected by the profiles visible on escorting sites, we would likely come to the conclusion that trans men are a tiny group within sex work. The reality is that even openly trans men are much more likely to engage in more informal kinds of sex work, such as on apps like Grindr or with people they meet and in social spaces, just like cis gay men who sell sex. The transmasculine people who claim to be cis women whilst working do share needs with cis women who sell sex, but such resources do not serve all the needs of those hidden trans people. Trans men who are not socially or medically transitioning are driven to sell sex by the same forces which push women to sell sex, with the added pressure of saving money towards transition care and the certainty that they will not be able to sell sex under a female persona forever. Their clientele are also much more likely to shift towards gay and bi men when they do come out, which will change the experiences they have at work and may change their health concerns. [...] [...] So on what basis do I assume the real numbers are so much higher than the few ads we can find online? The impetus for my initial wondering was prompted by the fact I sold sex for many years before I even came out to myself as trans. And I continued to work under a cis female persona until I had been on testosterone for several months. I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m an exceptional case, so I kept an eye out for others like me.  As I began to speak about my experiences in sex worker group chats, on social media, and in meetings with advocacy organisations, I began to hear from many others in the same situation. Every time I speak up, I hear from more trans men and non-binary people who are hidden. No advocacy group is going to find these people unless they identify themselves this way, and transmasculine people are unlikely to do that when an organisation is explicitly geared towards women. I’ve heard from more trans men working under female personas than the total number of openly out trans men advertising across all of the escorting sites I use. I’ve never explicitly asked anyone if they have this experience – they’ve all come to me. And with every story I hear there’s a common thread: they want to medically transition, but fear losing their entire income when they do. Top surgery is a definitive end to being able to work as a cis woman for most, but even testosterone alone can be prohibitive given enough time. By three months on testosterone, clients were beginning to suggest I was a trans woman who’d had genital surgery, and were much more violent with me. This kind of violence rooted in transmisogyny won’t be everyone’s experience, but it happens.

Also, for those interested, check out Jack Parker's Transmasculine Guide to Sex Work

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

The Hobie fandom has a lot of smut, and with a character so accepting on so many fronts, it means so much to me to see trans!readers being taken into consideration.

As a trans guy myself, I love seeking out ftm!smut. But often times, I often can't read them. Many times I'm left feeling unseen, reduced, or even feminized.

And I wanna talk about that a bit, if it's okay.

My take and feelings on FTM!smut - As a Trans Guy

Ngl as a trans guy myself I do feel a bit alienated by a lot of FTM!reader.

I'm gonna be honest - I feel like most ftm smut is written exactly as it would be a cis woman, just with the pronouns changed. Which is understandable, but not really how it works.

Cis women and trans men don't have sex the exact same, just because they're AFAB.

And I feel most smut writers haven't gone out of their way to research the sexual experiences of trans men and how we navigate the world.

Hobie smut is pretty vulgar, and I won't complaining! As a character, he has a high volume of smut, and probably the most diverse range, with Black!reader, ftm!readers, and male!readers being more common than most fandoms.

Black!Reader focuses on the unique experience of black people when in a relationship together. This unique experience is at the basis of black!reader.

But when we approach Ftm!reader - very often, our unique experience isn't reflected.

It's just assumed that because we are AFAB - there's no need to look deeper at the closer unique sexual experience trans men have - or to read up about it.

Most ftm!reader fic does not attempt to use affirming sexual language for trans men at all.

T-dicks - ie, natural clitoris enlargement you get after taking T - is a thing a lot of transitioning Trans men have.

But they're never called T-dicks in fanfiction. Only clits. It's very rare that a ftm!reader is described as having a dick - because so often the only dicks cis people recognize are natal dicks, and surgery-constructed ones.

Many cis writers may never even considered referring to a trans man's clitoris as a dick - pre or post T. They may see it as confusing to the reader, when it's not.

T-Dicks are dicks. Bottom growth didn't give you a full 3-4 inches, but you absolutely have growth and there are trans men that can penetrate with T-dicks - without surgery - if with the right partner.

The words pussy and cunt are used liberally in nearly all ftm!smut, and while many trans men are okay with these terms, I think a lot of cis writers ignore or do not know that often, terms like those can cause heavy dysphoria in a lot of ftm readers.

I don't think cis writers ever question if they might be making readers dysphoric - or showing them in a non-affirming way.

I feel like some writers believe that changing pronouns and calling the reader 'handsome' is really all it takes. Just write usual fem smut, change the pronouns - and done!

In reality, a large part of the ftm community feels uncomfortable with the word 'pussy' - and would much rather stuff like 'front hole'.

A poll on 'What do you call your downstairs?'

And I'm not saying that you can't call a trans man's genitals a pussy. And I'm not saying that a trans man calling his genitals a pussy is wrong.

I just feel like cis writers do not consider the dysphoria of their trans readers, when writing trans smut.

I feel like most cis writers don't actually seek out accounts of trans men and their sexuality.

I don't think they ever consider that these terms, talking about wetness and penetration (which many men on T can have problems with because of vaginal atrophy and dryness), breast, clits, cunts, pussy -

I don't think cis writers ever question 'Is this accessible for ftm readers that might have dysphoria? How can I make this accessible or easier for trans men who have bottom dysphoria?'

Or

'How can I make this more affirming of them as men?'

It's the assumption that, because we're all AFAB, because we have vaginas like cis women - then naturally we must all fuck the same regardless of gender, the only thing changing being the pronouns.

That's not true.

And also - Trans Men are never really written like gay men.

Trans men having sex with men is gay sex.

And even though most writers write trans men with male OCs - they hardly ever write their sex as if they are gay men.

99.9% of the time, it isn't written that way. Its always written as if it's 'straight sex'.

The experience of how gay men have sex is never really taken account into these fics, which makes me feel like a lot of writers don't see it as gay sex at all.

At most, the ftm reader may be described as a bottom - but never as an otter or twink or bear or cub or leather or anything.

They see it as AFAB sex.

Cause If I'm getting strictly candid - I feel like if a writer wrote mtf!smut and kept focusing on the girls 'hard throbbing cock and balls' - we'd all be like 'oh wow that's very intense centering on genitals that may alienate some trans women-'

But in ftm!smut focusing on 'wet tight juicy pussy and thriving clit' is standard. It's never really questioned.

And this is not to say 'oh trans women have it better they get better smut-' No. They really don't. I'm just bringing this up to highlight the fact that we should be making sure that trans!smut is accessible and affirming to the trans people they're about.

Seeing a fic in which a gay trans man prefers to use his asshole, like most gay men fuck, is VERY VERY rare.

I feel like most cis writers never consider the fact that gay trans men may want to perform sex in an affirming, clearly coded, masculine gay way.

It's always assumed we use our front hole, are okay with it being called a pussy, have no problems getting wet, or that we don't have dicks (T-dick is a dick).

And because of that - the lack of affirming language and the lack of affirming transmasc experiences makes it very hard for me as a FTM person to read smut about ftm!readers.

I feel like most of them don't actually take our comfort - or our experiences in mind.

I feel like most don't attempt to actually read accounts of trans guys having gay sex, and what that's often like.

If you're a writer who feels guilty of any of this - you're not a bad person or a bad writer. And I genuinely thank you for including us in your work - from the bottom of my heart.

But I want to highlight this -

Trans men having sex is not a 1:1 of cis women having sex. The same way trans women having sex is not a 1:1 of cis men having sex.

Or experiences are unique - and our dysphoria does affect our sex lives, and how we navigate them.

Please, do not let this put you off writing trans men. But please keep in mind that our experience is unique.

So often I read ftm!reader and feel reduced down to my pussy. Without breasts in the equation, so much ftm!smut focuses solely on the pussy.

If you write ftm!reader please please do not let this put you off, but here's some tips I can give as a trans guy

Please do slight research of ftm anatomy, read an article about gay trans men, or go on r/ftm (subreddit) and read some posts about trans men, read some nsfw posts where trans men tell hookup tales.

Advocate has an great article called '16 things I learned from having sex with Trans Men' - which details and dispels 16 myths about trans men in bed. It's written from the POV of gay men who have been with trans men in affirming ways.

This post is in no way meant to be an attack or subliminal at any one writer. If it was one writer, I wouldn't care.

But this is something I've experienced and seen across fandoms and across writers in this fandom too. I feel the urge to write this because searching for affirming ftm!fics - I often come away feeling even more dysphoric.

Not because of the word pussy or cunt or anything -

But because of the erasure of my experience, the idea that my gender doesn't influence my experience of sex - only my AFAB genitals do.

If you write ftm!smut, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly.

But I feel like I had to say this.

If you read this far, thank you! This is one of my more personal venting posts but I'm also trying to raise a point and start a discussion. And you reading through this and giving me your time and understanding is already helpful enough, so thanks!

Here's Hobie.

Bye.

[gatheringbones]

[“While TERFs and Conditionally Accepting Cis-ters overtly perpetuate(d) cis-ness and Casual Transphobes unintentionally perpetuate cis-ness, this final set of participants, categorized as “Critically Cis,” went the farthest in actually interrogating cis-ness and whiteness. In doing so, they worked to actively challenged cis logics and cis privilege. They did this by conceptualizing trans women as female and women, refusing to ask people about their genitals and bodies, and referring to trans women with she/her pronouns. Critically Cis participants also believed that you cannot necessarily discern who is trans and cis and that trans women can choose whether to “out” themselves or not at their discretion. These participants additionally desired to protect trans people from cis people and interrogated their own genders and desires. These participants’ point to the ways in which they interrogate cis-ness, and detail how Critical Cis-ness can work to counter the necropolitics of cis-ness (i.e., the production of cis-ness through violence and death).

During the focus group with White/White-passing participants, I asked participants which photos of the eight women shown to them during their interviews they assumed to be trans. While the one cis-het man participant, Adam, immediately pointed out who he assumed was trans and referred to our interview, during which he had done so as well, the cis-lesbian women participants were more hesitant to do so. Rachel and Vincent discussed their hesitance, saying:

Rachel: I mean I know that some of the women are transgender, but I feel kind of uncomfortable pointing it out?

alithia: Okay why?

Rachel: Um I don’t know because communities that I’m in, I’ve kind of learned that it’s like not appropriate to like point out if somebody is trans unless they’re talking about it with you or something. Or even nonbinary. I don’t know, basically as a cis person, I try not to talk too much about people’s bodies.

Vincent: I mean it’s kinda weird asking like what makes this person different than other women, like. . .

Rachel: Yeah because it’s kinda like pointing out how they’re like not passing.

Participants who engaged in what I conceptualize as Critical Cis-ness aimed not only to be inclusive but to actively learn how to better be in solidarity with trans people and to interrogate the questions individuals ask interpersonally and as a society about marginalized people. Vincent highlighted that marking someone as “cis-passing” and someone as “trans-appearing” marks one’ womanhood out as somehow Other and deviant from cisgender womanhood. This not only would Other “visibly trans” trans women but also “visibly trans” cis women who have traits deemed “trans.”

Janelle, too, refused to assume who is trans and who is cis. She highlighted the oddness of this bodily preoccupation. I asked Janelle, as I did all participants, “In general, can you tell if someone is trans or not?” She responded:

In general . . . you know, I don’t like, I don’t like to um assume. If you tell me, I’ll be like, “Okay,” but like . . . if not . . . then . . . I’m not gonna assume. I know there are some trans people who are more cis passing, that’s perfectly fine, but like I’m not just, I’m not, I don’t try to assume. Usually I’m minding my own business; I’m not looking at someone like, “Hmmm, I wonder if they have a vagina,” like no! Like I’m worried about my own vagina, like when am I getting my period [laughs]? You know? So I don’t try to worry about things like that.

Here, Janelle, highlighted a need to shift away from a focus on others’ bodies to her own body. The refusal to ask about other’s bodies and genitals and the refusal to categorize bodies not only works against cissexism but against Western, White ontologies of gender, as well. As noted earlier, Oyěwùmí highlights the West’s preoccupation with the body in how the self is understood in relation to others. Rachel and Vincent, having learned to not ask about bodies, had now internalized a discomfort in even hypothetically engaging in “body-reasoning.” This discomfort has the potential to open the way to new ways of relating as people.”]

alithia zamantakis, from thinking cis: cisgender heterosexual men, and queer women’s roles in anti-trans violence, 2023

[decompose1]

ok real quick because i'm going through (undisclosed) bottom surgery and currently have to do so much research and emails about it. so i did some more and slapped this together because i'm tired of the current perception of bottom surgeries!! it's all fearmongering!

common misconceptions about bottom surgery:

The options are "Limited"/if you get bottom surgery, you have to remove/lose your current genitals

WRONG! You can have vaginoplasty with phallus preservation, phalloplasty with vaginal preservation, or metoidioplasty with vaginal preservation. There are a lot of different options about graft locations and types of surgery for any of these surgeries. You can do research to find out your options. You will talk to your surgeon A LOT beforehand and discuss the best option for you. You have more options than you think.

You won't be able to orgasm/you won't feel sensation in your neogenitalia

WRONG! It is extremely rare for trans people who have undergone bottom surgery to be incapable of orgasm, regardless of the options you choose. Most trans people who have had vaginoplasty or phalloplasty are perfectly capable of feeling pleasure when those parts are touched. Anyone who tells you you will be unable to have a fulfilling sex life after surgery is spreading fearmongering myths*.

*I see some people spreading that a neophallus will not have sensation. This is misleading. Whether or not sexual nerves connect in the rest of the phallus is highly variable between patients (and some things like sexual therapies are thought to help), however, the nerves present in the buried clitoral tissue are still there and can still be stimulated in the base of the penis.

A vaginoplasty is just an open wound you're keeping open/dilation isn't natural!

WRONG! (And nobody calls vaginas wounds anymore!). Dilation is a very normal thing. Dilators were originally invented for cis women experiencing pain during sex, especially after other medical procedures. So it's pretty normal to have to use them. It's just a way to keep things healthy and pain-free, and those who have vaginoplasties only have to use them because the muscles there aren't trained the same way. That's all! There's nothing weird about it.

Phalloplasties just look like flesh tubes, there's no good options!

WRONG! Plastic surgery is a wonderful thing, and there are absolutely some very passing-looking phalloplasties out there, especially with the use of medical tattooing! Most of the pictures shared online to mock them are of stage one, before glansplasty, which is when the head is created. Phalloplasty is a multiple-stage surgery, it is not fair to judge them based on seeing an incomplete one. (Also, it's really rude to judge someone else's penis! You should already know that.)

Bottom surgery is only for binary trans people! Nonbinary people can't get it/there are no options for me!

WRONG! While it's completely and fully up to you what IS "for you", and perhaps bottom surgery just isn't it, it's untrue that nonbinary people can't have it, or lack options! There are options to have both genitals (any surgery w/ preservation). There are options to have none at all (nullification). There are options and modifications you can ask for that may be more comfortable for you, such as smaller penis size or a vagina with no depth. There ARE options, and while it can be extra difficult to find therapists and surgeons who work with nonbinary people (i'm dealing with this right now!), know that they ABSOLUTELY DO exist, and you are covered by WPATH guidelines.

anyways!!!! that's all. i see so much misinfo about bottom surgery it's unreal so here's my little info post.

[rodolfoparras]

OK imma be honest and little personal, before I knew a little bit more about the LGBT, I just didn't care I just knew they existed, now that im older and apart of it nothing changed ngl...just maybe a little rude with it. I'm like "Oh you're gay? Cool want a cookie?" Or "Oh, you think being gay is the devils or whoever you claim doing? Want a medal?". I don't mind having people like having something for them but a month? Sounds like robbery 2 me like, What about soldiers like I mean the good soldiers who actually fight for their people? I'm sorry, but if I could, I would make certain... things like these two have at least a week, but like I said, I don't mind it... I just find it... wrong in a way...like think about it...when something big happens in your life (if yall do it like me) we just celebrate it in like that first week, like what I mean is for the first few days it's all "WOOHOO THIS HAPPEND TOO YOU" then the rest of the week it's just "congrats". Like I remember a few years back, I'm not sure if it's still the same now. But soldiers die every day and stuff, and all they get is a day, and everyone like "poor soliders rest in peace" and then go on about their lives after a few bours or something . But the moment a Trans person got killed, suddenly everyone dropped everything and talked about it for weeks....trying not to sound harsh, but come on....

Sugar I think you have a lot of inner work to do

Pride month cannot be boiled down to a celebratory party of sexualities and genders

While yes a major part of pride month is to celebrate lgbtq people it’s also about remembering the journey as to how we got here, plenty of people literally laid their lives down so there could be a celebration in the first place sugar I don’t know if you know this but trans people would literally use bricks and drop it onto their genitals or their chest to get rid of those parts, a lot of trans people died of cancer and other terminal illnesses because it was considered shameful to treat an openly trans person no matter what severe condition they had it’s also to raise awareness of how lgbtq people of color made a lot of things possible for us, did you know that before colonization native people had woman man and then a third gender that didn’t fall in either category white, Christian cis people wiped that out because it was considered abnormal and now today we have a whole chunk of people who are seen as abnormal because that whole gender identity has been wiped out pride month is to also raise awareness to everyone who can’t live their lives like they want to. It’s like international women’s day just because women in Europe have it good doesn’t mean that it’s fine and dandy all around the world

The reason as to why people don’t care much for soldiers is that the only ones discussed are American ones- soldiers belonging to armys who have more or less started the war in different places. Never have I seen people discuss the 10.000 soldiers that died in the srebrenica genocide - soldiers- boys 18 year old boys 10.000 of them- that had to forcefully enlist in the army because their country was going through a genocide

And the reason as to why trans people get so much coverage once they get killed is the same reason as to why women get so much coverage when they get horrifically murdered by a man they’re oppressed, soldiers are not oppressed soldier more often than not are the oppressors.

With that being said I do hope you take time to actually do research on your history because the reason as to why you can be like “woo I’m gay ok let’s move on with my day” is because of thousands upon thousands upon thousands lgbtq ppl that made sacrifices for you those sacrifices didn’t happen that long ago

[tirfpikachu]

sometimes i feel like, in certain cases, "detrans woman" and "nonbinary woman" ain't too different. and could even be used simultaneously by the same person without much issue. after all, isn't processing internalized misogyny and escaping the gender roles box for womanhood also a way someone can at the same time not feel like a binary man, not feel like a binary woman, but not feel like a not-woman either? after unlearning all the bullshit male society taught us, it can be destabilizing and create distance between us and other women. we might no longer feel like a normie woman. we've been awakened. we're no longer a gender roled woman, rolled up in everything she was taught she needed to be or she would fail at womanhood. we're an unfailible woman, we can't get a bad grade in womanhood bc we don't care about gender grades. we know it's all bullshit. we took back the power patriarchal society had over us. in that sense, we're not willingly binary anymore. and i think, over time, it's only going to get harder and harder to find women who are happily into the gender roles, the gender box assigned to them.

people fucking hate that, ofc. especially male people, and doubly so cis/bio men. they hate that we're awakened women. they hate that we found feminism and sisterhood and go detrans or use nonbinary in addition to woman, bc we reconnect with our body type and our upbringing. and by they, i mean both sides btw. the patriarchy hates that we found our power, of course. non-feminists scoff at us.

and... mainstream trans activists hate that our journey got us here, and hate how we make dysphoria seem curable in unmedical ways and transness more complex than they like to think. we complicate things. they hate that they found power in changing themselves (whatever makes them feel at peace ofc), while we tried to as well, but in the process we found our power was within us all along. we found that just being neutrally sexed animals, just female humans, female animals, girls the way that one calls a cat a sweet girl, cat first girl second, human first girl second... our bodies, our gender category, don't define us. anymore, anyways. anyone who defines us by our womanhood is a bigot, and we scrubbed our brains free of all the shit patriarchal brainwashing left in us. and for us, personally, it was enough to free us. that's not the case for anymore. some folks need more than that. some folks need to modify themselves beyond recognition to feel at peace with themselves. but i do hope they know that deep down, they were always good beings all along. i hope they know that gender is bullshit and sex says nothing about anyone's worth, personality, goals, interests, etc. it says fuckall about any of that. i don't care if i get a male or female rabbit. a rabbit is a rabbit. if i feel affection for a new pet, our connection is what matters [*]. i would never assign someone gender roles based on their sex. but it's sadly done way too often by parents and male society. if you're trans, temporarily or forever, you gotta clean up all your internalized misogyny and sexism/gncphobia. find kinship with other female people, or male gnc people if you're male. just check off some boxes. clean everything up. deep-clean your mind and your heart first.

[*] insert tras here being like, "why can't you be like that about dating? you dirty close-minded terfy homo dyke? why can't you love beyond genitals? beyond just bodies?" and these days i laugh and laugh and laugh at that shit because wow they have zero clue!! they don't know the sense of peace at having my female/afab body against another female/afab body, at knowing we were born the same, at knowing we went thru the same growing up, at knowing we understand eachother so, so deeply without saying a word bc she is what i am, she is where i have been, and i have suffered as she has suffered, and we are a love born of the connection all female beings share, the connection of bio dick havers treating us as prey. not knowing we're more powerful than they could ever dream of. do bodies like ours not hold the godly powers of creation itself? are we not gods in the literal sense, born creators, who get to choose if a new life should be made? do we not hold the future in the palm of our hand? to the dismay of penised beings? and do me and my beloved not love eachother only the way two gods could love one another, knowing the struggle, knowing the power? is the patriarchy not fighting tooth and nail to control us, wrestle us into submission before their phallic altar? do they not know it's impossible, for everything in us would dry up at the sight? do they not know that we can rely on sisterhood to get us through fucking anything? do they not know we masculinized ourselves and found ourselves happily female anyway? do they not know that i'd love her with a beard and five eyes, but if she was reborn male we would not be the same people to begin with (tho ofc i like to think the bodyswapped versions of us would have a love story too, we would not be us anymore, not this timeline's love story, she would be a different version of her and i would miss our og love)? because what is anyone without memories, and aren't childhood memories, puberty memories, some of the experiences most affected by one's body type (under the patriarchy), some of the most developmentally significant memories of all? is female just genitalia and estrogen puberty to tras, to "hearts not parts" type folks?

is female just a meat suit and not also the life experiences linked to it, our upbringing, a rich female culture one is born into? trans women might be immigrants into this female culture if they pass post-transition, they might get the exact body, but they just don't know the culture the way born into it do. any transfem will admit being transfem is hard, it's hard to merge into female culture when they self-admittedly don't know much about it. anyone not having been born into this culture, not being fluent the way only a native resident of femaleness can be, will show signs of it even if it's been 50+ years. you can't just wipe someone's upbringing clean, your past always leaves traces, and a transfem wouldn't be able to bond with other female4female lesbians on basic female upbringing things... when those are the things that make being into other female ppl so attractive for many of us! we just get eachother. we understand without even saying anything. we understand female body issues. there's a warm sense of peace emanating from that knowledge in my heart, knowing me and my girlfriend were born the same. we went through so many of the same things, all the good and the bad sides of growing up female. and i find that attractive as hell, and it brings me immense joy in life. there's so many inside jokes a transfem just wouldn't get the way my gf can. and i unfortunately need to add, since people get defensive, that this isn't shaming the transfem for not having those experiences. i hope the transfem will come to terms with not being female too. she can be a woman in society, but she's not born this way, she's an immigrant into womanhood, and that's okay. she still needs to let lesbians who are only into people raised female enjoy our unique sexuality that she just can't understand. i can't understand the transfem4transfem experience either. so what? isn't lgbt or 2slgbtqia+ or whatever culture all about inclusion and diversity in sexuality and gender expression? what about those who are girls the way animals are girls? we hate gender roles but we're personally definining cis womanhood as being female animals, female humans? what's so twisted about that? what about female4female lesbians? transmasc4transmasc can exist, why not us? why make everything so stupidly complicated for no reason? why shame us for how we were born, for being into others like ourselves?

i pity them, honestly. watch them bring girldick and male upbringing experiences to female4female lesbians, watch as we'll all dry up like the dying succulents on our windowsills and sip drinks laughing at the naked male bodies before us because they're so unsexual to us homodykes. watch as we raise eyebrows at the male's lack of misogyny in her upbringing, her lack of expertise on female culture, and just... everything that's so fundamentally unappealing to us. we can be friends. we can be allies. thankfully though, sex and marriage isn't activism. you can't play woke in the sheets. if you do, that's honestly sad. love isn't political. heteros made it political, but love is just love. and the love between two female people is normal. boring at times, even. we're normies. and if mainstream tras can't see that, well, maybe they have issues to work through in therapy. idk.

if two dysphoric ppl working through really hard shit end up feeling at peace with being female animals, female humans, and loving one another, if that's threatening, if that's bigoted, if that's twisted, well...

we detrans chicks and homodykes will find our own place to hangout. and we'll be nice to your faces, of course, but behind doors we're having a blast with others like ourselves. people like us have done this for as long as humanity has been alive, anyways. we always go underground and make it work anyhow. radblr is proof of that. idc if i have to go door to door checking if any homodyke is there, or if i have to comb thru tra spaces to find cool detrans folks, i will find others like me. that's what the marginalized have always done.

we're like lizards. we'll just find a cooler rock to party under🦎✌️

[this-is-exorsexism]

You know, it's funny (read: annoying) for me to think about how people are getting so pushy about creating a transmasc/transfem dichotomy. It's especially funny when I recall people saying (correctly) that "trans" is an adjective. Saying how saying "cis woman" or "trans woman" is just like saying "tall woman" or "short woman". They're all women.

Nonbinary people are included under the trans flag. The white stripe is for them. Nonbinary people are "trans" people (if they want to be).

Multi-gender people very often fall under the "nonbinary" umbrella. By virtue of that, they are also "trans" people.

A multi-gender person who is both a man and a woman can technically, by grammatical definitions, be both a "trans man" and a "trans woman" simultaneously, i.e., they are both a man and a woman, and they are described by the adjective of "trans". Just like how if they were thin, they would be both a "thin man" and a "thin woman".

But Certain People wouldn't like that wording being used at all, because it stops them from being able to automatically know what (by their assumption, binary) sex you were born as, which they want to be able to do becaaaaause...? Hmmmm.

I remember once upon time, asking a nonbinary person about what they "really" are was considered extremely rude and bigoted. But now, because they want to categorise all people as either men (and therefore "upholding the patriarchy") or women (and therefore "victims of the patriarchy"), it means that nonbinary (particularly multi-gender or agender/transneutral) people who refuse to play into their bio-essentialist hands to be categorised annoy them.

And because they can't properly categorise us, they either leave the fact of our existence out of gender-related conversations entirely, or... typically, assume that we're afab, and therefore either equivalent to cis women, or to trans men, depending on whichever makes us fall into the side they feel they want to categorise us as.

(and for the people reading this at home, here's a pop quiz; have you been assuming that I, the writer of this ask, am afab? would your assumption of my birth sex change your opinion regarding my writing in any way? can you pinpoint the reason why? there's no answer provided as to what I am other than nonbinary. there is only time for internal reflection)

this is exorsexism.

yup, this is on point. so much of the new binaries created by the transgender community go back to AGAB which, as you said, is why they get so angry when people identify AFAB transgender women or both transmasc and transfem at the same time, or refuse to be categorised like this altogether.

a large part of the transgender community is just as obsessed with genitals and assigned gender at birth as cisgender people are, they have just found more acceptable ways to phrase it and it always harms nonbinary and intersex people most.

[soaln]

‼️⁉️🙏🏽 Gotta be the first to request you know what I'm saying

Can you make a poly relationship between the male reader (preferably FTM but whatever works), Sanji and Zoro!

It can be any scenario because I can't think (don't be angst, not trying to cry my eyes out.)

- Mr. Off

╰┈➤ ZORO & SANJI

🎀 ;; fluff,male reader (ftm),poly <3,fem dni,bad grammar,idk if it’s angst(im sorry 😭if it is),lazy at the end,ooc(like always)

🌸 ;; got not idea for an one shot

HEADCANONS,,

• The thought of dating both Zoro and Sanji was something that you didn’t expect. You never thought that’ll happen.

• when you first interact with Zoro and Sanji it wasn’t like love at first sight you were quite distant. They didn’t mind of course.

• you started to get along with Sanji,because of your cooking skills how bad/good you were at it. Then with Zoro it’s mostly because of some missions/adventure forced both of you to socialize a bit to not be awkward.

• As the months passed, you began to develop some feelings for these two people. At first you didn’t thought much of it but when you started to realize this love who was more than that of a love of friendship,you panicked.

• Sanji was huge womanizer and Zoro,well you didn’t know much. You began to deny those feelings.

• after finding out this feeling,talking to them wasn’t like before it wasn’t smooth and sweet it was hesitant.

• Sanji was the first to notice your change of attitude. He always observed you whether from far or near [kinda creepy].

• when you came in the crew he didn’t thought much of you,women was his top priorities.When you mentioned your cooking skills he wanted to see how ‘good you were.

• that’s what made you guys closer than b4. The cook started to caught some feelings for you,he didn’t want to believe it,him falling for a man ? And it took time for him to realize his feelings[you’re totally his bi awakening w Zoro🔥]

• Finally,Zoro,he realized your change of attitude when he was talking and he just turned his head around for few seconds you already disappeared.

• he didn’t know what to say he was just irritated. It also took a while for Zoro to start having feelings for you.

• You guys got closer because of a random situation you guys got yourselves into. He first impression on you was that you’re gonna be as annoying as Sanji [judging by your looks] he thought wrong.

• Zoro isn’t best with emotion and everybody know it. When he find out his crush for you well he asked Robin some help she was kind of surprised ‘cause Zoro seems like a person who wouldn’t fall in love with someone but she didn’t judge and said ‘you should confess first,[Name] isn’t the type to confess first.’

• When Sanji found out about Zoro’s crush he wasn’t happy about [ofc he wouldn’t 😒] but he decided to not fight about it.

• He chooses to share you,Zoro was surprised by that but he didn’t mind it the rivalry between them was still there.

• They both asked you out,you felt your face turning warm and you mumble your words well you accept both of them.

• The first time getting together was quite awkward none of you really dated someone.(maybe sanji)

• but you guys started to get comfortable after few months. Sanji and Zoro started to fight over you,of who could make you feel better.

• at first it was a little annoying but you get used to it.

• When you guys go on dates it’s really funny [for you specially] seeing them fight makes you laugh for some reason.

• baths. Baths with each other,well Sanji and Zoro are both male assigned At birth,you were ashamed of your chest scars and genital pars and so uncomfortable.

• They didn’t want to force you,so they waited until you were comfortable.

•but you finally decided to fight it and tell them that you’re a trans guy,well they aren’t the first person you told about your transition [it was chopper] and you knew they will not care about it and support you.

• It was in the kitchen,Sanji on Zoro were both here. "I’m trans." You blurted. Zoro was the one who was the most confused in the kitchen,but he didn’t cared about it so much he supported you and told you that a man shouldn’t be ashamed of his scars.

• Sanji was supporting you,and will be helping you the most in your dysphoric day calling some randoms manly petnames to comfort you.(he’s such a bbg <3)

[solar-wing]

☀️ Omegaverse: Alpha & Omega Biology ☀️

Hi guys!

I wanted to make this post because I expected that I would need to explain this topic and my reasoning behind it at some point. Many of you have read my Omegaverse fics and have probably guessed correctly that it's my favorite AU or trope to write about.

But, I'm sure many of you have been slightly put off or dissuaded by my tendency to describe the Omega Male Reader with a cunt, wet heat or core, and their Alpha sucking on a 'nub' or playing with a cocklette. I totally get it.

I am a male author who writes for male readers, cis and trans alike. But, I am also someone who in my years has grown to detest labels and gender roles and the silent rules they put on us.

This is why I set up my version of Omegaverse and A/B/O Dynamics on the basis that Omegas have vaginal genitals and Alphas have phallus genitals, regardless of gender. In my eyes, it helps to create a more imaginable and realistic explanation of male pregnancy and pregnancy between two women, which I hope gives inspiration to wlw authors, even though I already know I'm not the first person to use this idea. Not even close.

Also, I just like the chaoticness of it all.

But, I know it can be jarring or off-putting for male readers who may not want to think of their themselves as the readers having a cunt or a pleasure nub. Which, also let me explain that.

Since I write for male readers, and I'm sure some may have an aversion to the terms vagina, pussy, folds, clit, etc., I do my best to steer away from using those words as much as possible. I know 'cunt' is probably not the next best thing but if anyone has suggestions, I'm more than open to hearing them!

But, I also detail the use of cocklettes and twats which may be a little confusing (and weird) to imagine or think about, but it's fiction. We all have weird fantasies, thoughts, ideas, etc.

The cocklette is the male omega's version of a penis. This tiny and often defective organ typically serves no purpose but as a bundle of nerves/pleasure spot for Omegas. A male equivalent of a clit.

Let me be clear; I am a cis-gendered male author. But, as I said, I write for male readers, ALL male readers. Cis, trans, and those are non-binary alike. This is why I typically don't put non-binary or trans in my tags because I'm keeping the reader as a character as ambiguous and open as possible.

The most I put in the tags regarding identity or label is gay so that it reaches more of the audience I want it to reach. That's it.

Also, I'm sure it doesn't help that I mainly write from a submissive point of view. I'm biased toward bottom/sub-male readers, I admit it. And I know there's a growing demand for top/dominant male reader content, but I'm sorry, that is just not my cup of tea.

But, if you don't want to read about yourself having vaginal parts and a cocklette, that is more than okay. That's why I always put a disclaimer in the warnings section of my author's notes if a fic is Omegaverse and include a link to my headcanons. I'm letting you know from jump what's in the fic you're about to read and giving you more than enough opportunity to turn away.

I do write smut that's not Omegaverse as well, plus I have many fics with no smut at all that keep things clean and open for my male readers to imagine themselves in.

This is not shade or me throwing shots at anyone who felt uncomfortable or surprised by it. It's completely valid, and I understand. But, I give plenty of warning and opportunity so there isn't any confusion.

You will likely never see me write an explicit trans male character since that's not part of my identity and I'd rather give that opportunity and shine to the authors who are of that identity. I just write what I like to write, or better yet, what I myself like to read.

The only thing that doesn't change is that my characters, reader or original, are and will always be MALE characters. Even if my Omegaverse characters have vaginal parts and their nipples leak more milk than a pregnant cow, they are MALE characters. Not female. They are boys, men, fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, nephews, boyfriends, husbands, misters, kings, princes, dukes, barons, cowboys, bachelors, fucking dudes, and every other word related in the dictionary. Again, no shade to any female reader I have, but yall know what it is to.

I hope this doesn't discourage anyone and that everyone receives it as I intended it. If you like my fics, please engage more with them and tell me the things you like and want to see more of! If you want more regular smut and less Omegaverse smut, I'm more than happy to comply, just please check my rules first!

Thank you!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi,

i'm a trans woman on hrt for nearly two years, and playing with my tits like Does Feel Good don't get me wrong. like often v good and whatever. but also like. i don't believe i've ever reached orgasm purely from nipple stimulation (either via masturbation or my partner). is this a common thing with cis women as well? am i doing things wrong? do i just need to Be Better? i know orgasm isn't necessarily like the end all be all, but i'm just wondering if i'm just like. skill issuing having tits i guess.

hi anon,

anybody of any gender and any genital arrangement can enjoy and, hypothetically, orgasm purely from nipple stimulation, but it's hardly universal among any demographic - virtually no form of sexual response is!

in this 2023 piece for Glamour, neuroscientist and sex therapist Nan Wise says that "[r]eports based on nonscientific surveys estimate the percentage of women experiencing orgasm from nipple stimulation alone ranges anywhere from 1% to 15.5%."

whenever someone doesn't specify which women were being surveyed, it's often safe to assume that they mean cis women, and if the highest results are only 15.5%, then that means it's definitely not something that all cis women are experiencing. throwing my own two cents in to the ring, I'm a fucking fiend for nipple stuff and it does definitely enhance how much I enjoy other types of stimulation, but I can't say it's ever been the main event for me.

so I think we can safely conclude that there's absolutely nothing odd or atypical about you not having nipple-based orgasms, any more than there's anything odd about people who do, but remember: other people's sexual experiences should be a point of interest, not comparison. it's cool to learn about (and perhaps take inspiration from) the ways that other people get off, but you're under no obligation to perform like anybody else does. being different than other people doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, and definitely not that you need to be better. all you need to do is honor your own body and what it likes :)