#trans struggles kinda | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ohgreat-moretapes · 1 month ago

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-Tim

#ask.png #tim wright #trans tim wright #OOC Olea Speaking: this is honestly kinda irrelevant and personal but thought i'd share for anyone interested ->#i was debating for a while whether or not to go beyond just hinting at this #because generally i like to keep things ambiguous and up to interpretation so everybody can feely enjoy their own personal HCs with Tim #but I have DID -- and i happen to have a Tim fictive who's been struggling a lot with living in my (AFAB) body #and he's recently been seeing a lot of trans Tim art and writing and stuff thats honestly helped him so much with his sense of identity #and feeling comfortable in his own skin #and its just the best really its been so healing for him #so yeah trans tim canon on the ask blog :)#mh tim #marble hornets #mh #afterlife au #slenderverse #fan art #fanart #art

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dykedvonte · 13 days ago

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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it #already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus #he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans #like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects #like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend #pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years #with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to #realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia #from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h #he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is #giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he #because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough #that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing #damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b #stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons #are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou #his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause #it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his #friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus #cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken #that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go #you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a #condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin #they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing

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feralbeeast · 5 months ago

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420 vibes photo dump from my lil break 💚

Feat. My cat Buggy 🐱🐝

😶‍🌫️ they/them 😶‍🌫️

Puff puff, pass

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jellysshitpoems · 5 months ago

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It’s so weird being a trans man and not caring what others may think about my appearance while also only being out to some people, because it means that no matter who Im with, no one around me seems to get me. Cis people almost always find me too masculine and queer people almost always find me too feminine.

#gay #queer #transmasc #trans #transgender #trans struggles #kinda vent #if you squint #lgbtq #lqbtqia #lgbt #trans man #trans men can be feminine #trans men dont owe you masculinity #women dont owe you femininity

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aloeverified · 23 days ago

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re-do by modern baseball is trans masc marinette coded btw.

#thinking abt an au where marinette becomes a man when using the ladybug miraculous #and she already kinda figured out she was a trans guy by then but had a lot of doubt and imposter syndrome abt it #and then when tikki says how the #miraculous shows them whatever is in their heart or whatever #he's no longer able to deny it or convince himself he's cis #but he still has all his worries abt disappointing his family and whatnot as well as fear of rejection and bullying #and so he just kinda accepts he can only ever be a man as ladybug #but he still has a lot of impulsive thoughts abt just coming out #also he has horrible gender envy with adrien and low-key struggles with telling if he actually wants to be with him or be him #and then he has that little situation ship with luka and makes some joke abt how would luka still like him if he was a boy or wtvr #and luka basically says gender has never mattered to him and he'd want to be with marinette no matter what his gender was or wtvr #and that kinda changes things for mari in which he realizes maybe coming out is possible #and so maybe the first person he tells is luka and then maybe luka gives him a haircut or something #anyways #still deciding between some name options for him #miraculous ladybug #trans marinette dupain cheng #marinette dupain cheng

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lovelyrotter · 1 month ago

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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck

#my t #idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc #at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know #its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together #i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are #or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then #makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM #WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up #if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place #the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering #his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl #it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no #discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know #but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf #out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know #god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened #by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows #like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it #can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences

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forestlovesyou · 9 months ago

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might be kinning Tohya but in a trans allegory way like

"Someone died in me who isn't me and sometimes i feel like it's a 'her or me' situation where i'm scared for my own right to exist, but other times i feel like she's the ghost of a poor girl who deserves to be comforted and put to rest"

#sorry if this seems to much of a stretch i mostly just see him and his struggle as comforting in my experience #umineko #umineko spoilers #umineko ep 8 #tohya hachijo #trans experience #enby #sort of a vent #but like a soft vent #i kinda teared up when searching for a pic for this post and thinking about this generally though aughh

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kcwriting-030 · 21 days ago

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Escape

I want to be where you aren’t

I want to feel like your arms aren’t wrapped around me

Squeezing the life out of me

I can’t breathe

You’re too close to me

And you just laugh and sneer when I’m upset

It makes me feel there’s nothing left

I’m drowning in this feeling

I’m drowning in my tears

The tears I cried for you

For all the times you’re here

And I want to be not

You take advantage of me

You think it’s all a joke

You turn it all to nothing

Like it’s just something small when it’s so clearly not!!!

I just can’t take this

It’s making me nervous

I don’t want to feel alone

With my heart torn to pieces

Make it better

Please fix what’s broken

Turn back the time

I want what is mine

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underthevveather · 7 months ago

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Question For Any Trans Person:

What is one thing you like about being trans?

Please reblog with your answer and please try to keep it positive. It would mean the world :)

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battery-drainer · 8 months ago

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#transfem calder kerian #mtf calder kerian #transfem zebruh codakk #mtf zebruh codakk #calder kerian #zebruh codakk #vast error #hiveswap #??? fictives kinda #both of these fuckers have identity issues #the struggle of being double sourced #if you dont like tfem calder just dont interact idrc #scene tfem zebruh brought to you by our meulin #sapphic t4t zebruh x calder brought by me and my nightmares #trans calder kerian #trans zebruh codakk #not genderswap

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allthebettertobiteyouwith · 10 days ago

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Slowly beginning to think it's not very cis of me to get off to the thought of being a boy fucking another boy n drawing out pretty noises from him while telling him he's doing such a good job for me

#howls #yeaa i #ive been having gender struggles for years n rn im kinda going with nonbinary n probably transmasc #whether im a nonbinary guy or a trans guy or neither im not really sure i think a cute boy whining my name would be fun tho #mlm nsft #mlm ns/fw #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #still kinda questioning but tagging anyway #nblm nsft #nblm ns/fw #ftm t4t

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thxrgism · 2 months ago

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i feel like there’s gotta be at least one high school teen tv show that eventually becomes a high-stakes political drama focusing on the kind of administrative corruption and bureaucratic bullshit that happens in high schools sometimes that mostly just ends up getting revealed to the most dedicated student council members and the occasional very passionate teacher. because i feel like it’s common enough to be something people have commented on but not common enough to be an actual trope.

#yes i did watch Jake stalvey’s video.#which i probably didn’t have to specify because it has 882 views #but if you want to hear about administrative corruption and incompetency and also the struggles of running a high school news station #check it out #ngl im lucky that in-school admin was mostly pretty chill for the stuff i was doing in hs.#the main problems at my school were some people still being hired despite the fact they Really Shouldn’t because muh sports team #and also somebody who was creepy at another school got transferred to my school instead of firing the guy from being a teacher..#oh and also i kinda suspect the school board is refusing to give trans people full-time positions or at least Making It Very Difficult #but i also do not have evidence for that aside from anecdotally having quite a few trans subs/temps but no full-time trans teachers.#i could theoretically write about this if i put effort into research but also i am eepy

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fanvoidkeith · 1 year ago

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me, helping out my mom at a bazaar, like i've done for years, attempting stuff while she walks around to take a break and maybe get some xmas gifts: *vibing enough that some people want to buy some things*

my mom, about half an hour later: *comes back to be the more charming of the two of us, because she has more experience being a salesperson and is not autistic*

the nice lady at the table next to us, talking to my mom: your boy did a good job while you were gone!

my brain, upon hearing that sentence come out of another person's mouth while i'm feeling somewhat dysphoric in my body today:

B O Y ! ! !

(good job!)

#void keith talks #this isn't me discovering a new thing about myself but it is Different this time i think. it echoed in my brain #most people don't assume i'm masc because i have a high voice. especially because the fuckin “customer service voice" thing (higher pitch)#but more people than one have called me by masculine uhhh... adjectives? (it's probably adjectives.) it's nice. mostly strangers though. :/#and i already know i have a Thing about praise because it's my love language or whatever #and i've also been obsessing over whether or not i should ask my doctor about going on testosterone because i've been avoiding my doctor #because i'm an anxious mess and my life is about to be turned upside down again soon #but i. i wwant to #go on T. more than i thought i would?#i'm so anxious about change and i know the changes technically happen slowly #but even so i keep hesitating because of personal circumstances #uhhhh... yeah. that's. that's a thing i guess #one of my fellow nonbinary transmasc friends is going on T. and i'm happy for them obviously #but i also feel a little envious of him for being able to figure it all out that easily. even though it probably Wasn't Actually That Easy #and it just looks like that from my outsider perspective #and i'm just tired and confused because i only discovered/uncovered the more masc part of my identity relatively recently and i've-#struggled with it for long enough that i don't have to fight with myself about it anymore. still kinda scared though #nonbinary #enby #trans #transgender #voidgender #gender dysphoria #gender stuff #gender thoughts #gender euphoria #trans stuff #nonbinary stuff #rambling in the tags #rambling into the void

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leronboi · 5 months ago

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I've been wanting to draw on this template but for some reasons, I struggle soo hard on drawing them in the squares. But I was able to get some doodles that look good and also did a lil extra and drew tiny versions of them.

#myart #Justin #Lawrence #Bruh I've been struggling drawing #But I had the drawing power to draw their tiny versions???#Whatever mann 😭#It was fun drawing them tho #Sorry I drew their heads kinda big so they're blocking the words #Ermm I hc/view Justin as trans #It just makes sense to me...#Actually it's fucking canon lmaoo #Also sorry I haven't been drawing #I've been trying XDD #Anyways hope yall have a good one

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mutio-von-mutio · 6 months ago

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crazy how easy it is to get progesterone prescribed basically anywhere except where i live it feels like

#tbh my trans healthcare actually got like worse in the past 3 or 4 years and i've been kinda struggling to find a new doctor #not like it matters anyways cuz every doctor i have to tell them what is what and then they still make the decisions as if i didn't tell #them everything they know about trans women #like one doctor didn't even know that you are supposed to ignore e levels basically for bloodwork and was like omg ur e levels are so high #ya ofc they are it spikes when i take an e under my tongue and then levels out hours later that's why i take it 3-4 times a day #and he literally was like i dunno and lowered my dosage to 2 and it didn't change shit about the bloodwork cuz that doesn't change anything #like why is everything going backwards

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mouldywalls · 4 months ago

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i was wondering why I've been struggling to breathe and why I've been getting random chest pains. turns out my binder is 2 sizes too small oops

#just ordered a new binder thank you mumsy for paying for it #testosterone has made me grow sm it kinda makes me emotional :( /pos #ftm #transmasc #trans #tboy struggles

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