#trans like how about you tell the class when someone is trans so more transphobic idiots can realize how many trans people there are

[bioaccumulation]

Passing is not the point of being trans and no trans person has to pass but I will say I am incredibly tickled about how all Wendy Carlos' pre transition look like a lesbian you glued mutton chops on. Its insane.

Talk about destiny

[gettinontopic]

How am I racist? Other people are constantly trying to get through to you about transmisogyny and you instead choose to constantly try and hide behind being black, acting like that makes you immune from transmisogyny. You can still hurt transfems of any race with the way you talk about opression. You think men are an opressed class who's so so victimized by the mean women and fems of the world that you wont listen to those same actually opressed women.

Maybe if you were more willing to listen onstead of bloack a bunch of us every time we disagreed with you, you would u deratand how you're perpetuating more misogyny than any trans woman/fem whos using a few words not perfectly.

Btw, the standards you put on our words isn't fair and then you turn around and demand we be okay when your word litteraly implues we can opress you.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

How are you racist? How are you r a c i st?? You have to be kidding me! This must be a joke. Your laugh of the day. Your haha of the week.

I d not hide behind being black. Youre sick for implying that. Like many black people before me I beg my community to remember the nuances that come with my race when they talk and a bunch of them spit in my fucking face. They tell me they want the right to opress me (As if their whiteness doesn't already allow that) or they try and argue how another class of trans women is still below me in their sick opression math. They are not below me because this is not a ranking of who has it worse. Me and trans women are working together to rid the world of transphobia.

I have never on my ENTIRE blog said that men are so opressed by women. Words in my mouth moment!! I have said that the patriarcy, a system of opressions, opresses men and encourages the worst in human behavior to survive and be safe.

Those womens opression doesn't matter more than mine. All of our opression matters equal ly. We are all fighting for our rights and safet. There is no reason we need to form a line and force someone to wait a turn. I am not speaking over woman to call out the abuse to to trans men, trans masc, and other nonbinary people. Nor is it speaking over women to make sure intersex voices are included and heard when its said that negtive stereotypes and standards of men hurt them too.

Funny you claim I block all of you but you seem to have no clue how many have me blocked on the word of a racist discourse blog or who blocked me after I rightfully call out their racist remarks. It grossed me out that you assume I can't hold good faith discussion and not that maybe some of you blocked me first for talking at all. Also lmao guilt tripping me for using my block feature to keep my spaces safe and comfortable. Why, did I block your main and you've bee seething?

I'm not bothered by a few incorrect words. I'm litterally pissed at the racism, exorsexism, and blantant transphobia thats been thrown my way and the way of many other trans people at this point in an attempt to stop us from speaking about opression that affects us.

*Slow clap* What standard? The standard not to write transphobic ass shit about trans men/masc? Where you blantanly lie about our experiences ? To the point you're also lying about our nonbinary experiences? To the point where your lying about intersex and multigender and even sometimes other different trans womens experiences? I watch this happen in resl time and you have the audacity to ckme in my inbox and tell me I'm word policong you? Right before admitting you don't want us to have our word bc you still won't learn it's definition!! Fuck.

I am proud of myself. I am so proud of my beautiful nonbinary black fucking ass that you WISH you could have what I do.

[lady-ashfade]

You should do a Trans reader (fem to male) with Poly yan Charlie and nick

Smoothing

Poly!Nick&Charlie x Trans!M!Reader.

Plot: Just something sweet and short for comfort. This is the first time that came to mind.

This sucks so I apologize.

Warnings: Transphobic people & comments, Comfort, kisses & hugs, really short.

560 Words.

It wasn’t the fist time they had seen you like this and they hated to admit but, it probably wouldn’t be the last. They had no choice but to watch you from afar in class while fiddling with your clothes and moving in the chair. They could always tell when you felt sad or uncomfortable. They had known you for a year since you transferred to their school and only welcomed you to the relationship just a few mouths ago. That didn’t stop them from knowing so much about you.

When you got to nicks house you were pulled in immediately and rushed up the stairs by the boys, nothing to explain their actions. The door was opened to his room and you were confused but also happy, “What’s this about?” A second after speaking you were pulled into a hug by Nick and he crushed you, charlie joined and rested his head on your shoulder.

It was nice to have them hold you after a horrible day but this was unexpected. ��Did something happen.” You mumble between them. “We just noticed how today was for you.” They pulled away, nothing but love in their eyes making you want to melt.

Looking away like you had been caught you sighed, “I was fine.” You could tell they gave you a look but you didn’t care. Nick groaned and pulled you again over to the bed and sat down only to pull you down, making you lay down and rest your head into his lap. Charlie followed and lay down beside you.

“Guys, I’m fine.” Of course you were lying but you didn’t want to worry them or talk about it. But knowing your partners they wouldn’t take it. Charlie reached for your hand and held it in his, “I know that lie well.” He admitted and leaned on his other hand.

Nick reached his hand down and pushed the hair away from your forehead and you looked up at him. He looked soft at first then a few seconds you could see the anger rise. “Did someone say something?” His tone lowered and his face scrunched up and you almost chuckled because he looked like a angry puppy.

“No, Nick. Today I just…” you stopped and took a deep breath feeling the weight in your chest get heavier. “Hated my body.” It was like some relief left your chest but then added more.

“Oh, hunny” Charlie sat up and had a sad pout. Nick continue to play with your hair and give you a smile. “You look as handsome as always.” He leaned down and kisses your forehead. “It’s hard being in a body you don’t want but we are here to help.”

“We love you all the same.” You chuckled and smile when charlie started to kiss all around your face and looked like a chicken pecking at food. You tried to playfully push him away but Nick took your hands and held you still, you yelled at him for being a trader but he just laughed and joined in on smothering you with kisses.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Jason Dean dating someone who's transmasc

Warnings: brief mentions of transphobia, canon typical stuff such as bullying, swearing, violence, murder, etc, slight suggestive things but nothing that's full on smut (I might make another post with that later), smoking (because we all know our boy JD smokes like a chimney), mentions of dysphoria, mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, some forcemascing by JD (sorry I couldn't resist)

A/N: I did a Veronica version of this like two years ago and since I'm currently obsessed with JD (and it's pride month) I felt the urge to write one for him too (also because I've come to the conclusion that I might just be transmasc and not genderfluid so this is mostly just written for me)

I wanna start off by saying that yes JD is an asshole, but he'd never be (intentionally) transphobic. However, if he thought you were trans then he would push your buttons a little bit to see how long it would take you to admit it, especially if you met before you came out

Let's say you two started dating when you still saw yourself as a girl or something (I know that JD's supposed to be "straight" or whatever but he's bisexual to me okay fight me on it). If he saw you acting a little uncomfortable being referred to as his girlfriend or having to use the women's restroom at school he would 100% call you out on it

Not in a degrading way or anything like that, just to see how you would react to it. The second you start to get defensive or give him the silent treatment he shuts up, not only because he accomplished what he set out to do but also because he feels a little bad

Eventually you just decide to rip off the bandaid and come to terms with the fact that you're actually a trans guy, him being one of the first people you tell. His only real response to this "startling revelation" is to look at you and go "Yeah I kind of figured that one out for myself already, I was just waiting for you to"

Your worries that he'd want to break up with you after telling him disappeared almost immediately as you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes at him. "Ha ha, very funny smartass"

If you decide you want to cut your hair shorter then he will absolutely offer to help you with it, insisting that there's no reason for you to go to a professional with him there (it's totally not just because he's very possessive and would never let anyone else touch your hair other than him, that's crazy)

You may have wore his clothes some before, but he practically begs you to do it after you come out. Why would you ever need to go shopping when you can just raid his closet, y'know? Plus seeing you in them really turns him on

He gets ten times more protective afterwards too, constantly following you around to make sure you're okay. You could have classes that take place at the same time on opposite sides of the school and he'll always skip his to join you. Eventually the teachers just move his class schedule around to match with yours since he never attends his anyway

Always has an arm wrapped around you no matter what, especially if he sees someone like Kurt and Ram passing by. It's best to distract him with kisses or something so he won't hear the things they call you and get mad (he hears them anyway but can't resist making out with you so he lets it slide for the time being)

Speaking of making out, he does it with you everywhere and all the time, whether it's a modern au or the 80s. He's not worried about what people say or do, usually letting his gun do all the talking. He shoots them is what I'm trying to get at here lol

Most people are much too scared to even breath too loud near you because of your attack dog boyfriend but if it ever does happen that you get bullied (whether that be verbally or physically) he will go out of his way to make sure the local morgues, cemeteries, and funeral homes have plenty of business

Feeling anxious or stressed about having to spend time with/be around someone who misgenders/deadnames you? Just let him tag along. He might not say much but what he will do is very passive-aggressively correct said person on their "mistakes". It pretty much always works as no one wants to argue with a guy who frequently carries a gun

It's not the best habit around but he probably gets you hooked on smoking at least occasionally, especially if he hears you complain about your voice being too high. Oh, you're worried that you sound too feminine and "girly"? He has the perfect way to get you that low and gravelly voice that you want! You think he's talking about voice training or something until he hands you a pack of cigarettes and with the most serious expression ever says "these will do wonders"

Even if you don't smoke religiously like he does it's kind of hard to resist it completely given how often he lights up a cigarette (and yes, he will blow smoke into your face, because while he loves you he's also an asshole and thinks it's funny when you wrinkle up your nose in disgust at him)

He's not the best at comforting you when it comes to days where you feel dysphoric. Like, he won't flat out say that he thinks you're acting ridiculous because he knows it would only make things worse, but he's also not great when dealing with emotions, so the most he might do is let you cling to him while he gives you a few awkward pats on the back

If this goes on for days borderlining on weeks, however, that's when he'll start to act less sensitive and give you a bit of tough love. "What are you talking about saying that you 'don't look like a guy'? Are you crazy? You really think life would be better if you were still living as a girl? Do you honestly think that would make you happy?"

It surprisingly works, believe it or not. Even if you know he's purposely trying to rile you up it ends up making you feel better and more confident in yourself. Anytime he notices you starting to slip back into feelings of self doubt or insecurity, he just wraps you up in his arms and whispers soft encouragements in your ear. "You were never a girl, you just need to work a little bit harder than others to grow into the man that you are. If anything, that's a testament to your strength for being able to do that"

This certainly happens whenever you're on your period and feel grouchier or less confident than usual. "You're so strong for being able to endure this every month, did you know that? You're much braver than I am, I doubt I'd be able to get through it as well as you"

Sometimes you almost start crying because of how emotional his words make you feel, and sometimes you roll your eyes with annoyance while muttering "you're a condescending asshole" under your breath. Either way it ends up making you feel better, especially when he offers to rub your lower abdomen when your cramps get too bad

If you decide to start HRT then he wants to be there to help you take the shots, even if you insist you can do it yourself (he likes being part of the process of helping you "turn into" a man). Same thing if you use T gel or whatnot, he gets really pouty if you ever apply it without him

He's not really the best person to do "guy bonding" activities with unless you like making pipe bombs or planning the murders of people you hate (hypothetically speaking, of course) but if there's anything like that you want to try out then he'll definitely be there to support you. Like I don't know, hunting/fishing? Or watching sports games while drinking beer? Or breaking out the toolbox and fixing things around the house? Sorry I don't really know things that guys do despite being one myself 😭

The only exception to that is probably car maintenance. I see him as being very protective over his motorcycle and learning how to take care of it himself so he doesn't have to worry about taking it to the shop and having them screw it up. He'd be happy to teach you about how to change your own oil and might even teach you how to ride it as long as you don't accidentally scratch up his paint job. He might not kill you for it, but he will be very upset and end up ignoring you for a few hours afterwards

Purposely introduces/refers to you as his boyfriend in front of others just to see your face light up with confidence. It's not like JD has a lot of friends or anything but anyone that he does know feels as if they've met you already because of how he much he talks about you (he's totally that one annoying person you know who never shuts up about their partner ever)

All in all, I'd say he's a relatively good boyfriend in general, but especially if you're transmasc. Solid 8/10 (one point was deducted for his slight insensitivity and another was due to his crazy streak. Sorry JD I promise I still love you </3)

Main masterlist | Heathers masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

End notes: this ended up being much longer than I anticipated but I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever at all

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

🏷 taglist: @missmewts @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @the-night-owl-blr @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @pregnantmen @theonetruepotato87

[transfaguette]

I ask this in good faith, but how is it that so many transmascs hate the idea of (trans inclusive) radical feminism so much? All I know it does is liberate everyone from the evils caused by cis men and the patriarchy.

Well first I would say this isn't an opinion unique to transmascs, but thats the circle I orbit so I understand where that perception comes from.

The problem is that you really can't excise the problematic elements of TERFism simply by removing the overtly transphobic parts.

Radical feminism, both trans exclusive and "inclusive" hinge on the idea of Men (sometimes cis, sometimes not) are perpetrators and Women (and sometimes, vaguely, some* non-women)are victims. Putting aside the individual capability to cause harm which is easy enough to debunk, even on a societal level this is not telling the whole story. The Patriarchy is a system of societal control and allotment of power, and it aims to control everyone, men included. Most men, all but the most powerful in society, which is capitalist, christian cishetero white men, have the patriarchy weaponized against them!

"Cis men" as a class, as individuals, don't cause evil. They are just human beings. Human beings with equal capability to love and nurture and fight for what is right. Which is the other problem with radfeminism, is that it seeks to strip away this humanity from the people around you, and isolate you. and like...what is a cis man, anyway? Like I know the answer seems obvious, but at what point does "cis man" end and "nonbinary person" or "trans person" begin? What elements of cis-manhood cause evil? Where does that "evil" go when someone transitions or no longer identifies as a cis man?

This is, I think, the fundamental problem of "trans inclusive" radical feminism. In continuing to divide the world into Evil Men and Good Women, you STILL impose a system of gender essentialism in a way that does not coalesce with the ideas of queer liberation. A nonbinary person can be a cis man one day, come out as nonbinary and change nothing else about their life from that point. What then? Are they no longer evil? Were they ever evil? How do you even being to decide that without just using the same trans exclusive rhetoric you're supposedly fixing, anyway? And I'm not even getting into the impact this has on trans men, because we are put in this position of being a marginalized gender and victims of misogyny but also placed in this position of privilege due to being men that is not accurate to reality. And sure, maybe you can remedy that by always specifying cis men, but many TIRFs don't see that as a flaw of the ideology, anyway. They Do think trans men are gender traitors and Do think we inherit some sort of evil power the moment we become men.

And there is much, much more to be said on the topic of radical feminism and its pitfalls. These are just the broad points. The dehumanization of Cis Men as a class is not simpatico with queer liberation and it just never will be. It is a good question worth asking, because it can seem good on the surface unless you know what to look for.

[pocket-deer-boy]

at a certain point, someone's bigotry towards trans people becomes some kind of science denialism where they have to pretend trans people aren't real for their idea of the world to work. like, have a gander at this infographic

Beyond having no idea who the target audience of this infographic is (this reads as a bit too toony and colorful for the more serious sex ed tone of high school biology classes but is far too textually dense and visually noisy and cluttered for younger kids, so really it just feels like it's made or adults to pass around and nod along to work that tells them exactly what they already believe) It's also full of blatant medical misinformation, and states facts in a way that feels completely angry and bitter towards anyone who believes anything else. Like, no, transphobic lion gender infographic. Men CAN lectate even without any hormonal treatments or being trans. I've seen it personally.

It's also interesting to me how it explains sexuality (among other things) as being these incredibly rigid and inflexible categories. Like oh really, asexuals can't have sex? We can't go into nuances of sexual desire, sexual attraction, sexual pleasure and social expectations to perform sex. Like if you're ace and you did sex and weren't enthusiastic about it and never tried it again i guess you're not ace. The harry potter houses model of sexuality: you are one thing, you fit into this one thing, it prescribes how you're supposed to act instead of using it to describe how you actually exist.

This rigidity also becomes obvious when it talks about intersex people as being these exceptions to the rule that don't have to be counted for how gender and sexuality works. And of course, we have to force intersex people into these binary categories instead of, you know, letting them decide for themselves? And of course it ignores any kind of intersex person with any kind of features that can't be written off as an anomaly and an aberration from the norm. Here we start doing science denialism. Here we start pretending certain people's body features aren't worth discussing for the sake of public knowledge. They're only worth bringing up as anomalies, and not as like, people.

I can't fucking get over how jarring the whole image is actually. Like, the really cheerful cartoon furry lions next to this piece of text prescribing the rigidity of existence. Yeah baby, I love being a strong cool lion boy, I love being told everything I'm not allowed to do or be for the sanctity of my gender!

yeah roar!!!

Here's a little section i wanna do more of a deep dive on

Women have two eggs?? what??? the egg-shapd things in the uterus are not the eggs!!!!! what the fuck are you talking about

This particular part stands out to me. Like, obviously the purpose of this infographic is not to tell you how bodies work, but to insist that there's a correct and an incorrect way for bodies to work, and that people outside of what it describes do not exist. It's obvious because it won't even show you what a uterus, what a vagina, or what boobs usually look like, like any decent diagram whose purpose is science education would. It's obvious because it straight up lies to you about how periods work, and tells you that having a period is somehow intrinsically tied to being a woman.

Like, no. Obviously. Trans can men experience menstruation at any point in transition, and trans women can experience other common parts of periods if they've been on hrt for long enough. Periods are not some kind of woman exclusive thing, it's not purely reliant on having a uterus or having certain hormones. It's not gender dependent. It depends on multiple features of one's body. It's a very basic fact of transition, hormones change how your biology works no matter what features you have. To imply none of this is true is denying very very basic facts about how a lot of people's bodies work, simply based on some insistence that those people aren't real and if we simply look away we can all pretend trans women aren't real. It's digging your head in the sand, it's having lived looking at the shadows on the wall your whole life, being told something new, and going right back into your cave and angrily shouting at everyone that the shadows are real, the shadows are ALL that is real, and though I may have glimpsed things that lie outside of it, those things aren't real because I personally can safely ignore facts about how the world works and go about my day.

[idarafeka]

FFVIICC IS TRANS CODED

Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core is trans. And I don't know if anyone cares or will even see this post, but in it, I'm going to explain why.

FFVIICC is the prequel to the famous FFVII and the game where the story of Zack is told. In the original game Zack is a character only presented to us through small dialogues and optional cut scenes, so they had room to expand the universe however they wanted, thus presenting us two new characters, Genesis and Angeal. Our two trans characters.

Genesis and Angeal, as presented by the game, are two first class members of SOLDIER, who on top of the already standard mako infusion they were experimented on with JENOVA cells. Genesis after birth and Angeal even before his conception, being his mother the one who got the "treatment".

That is what happens to them in the game. But now let's see it from another angle. Angeal and Genesis were both childhood friends. One son of a humble family with no food to take to their mouths and the other heir to a great fortune. They used to spend all their time with each other, even after joining SOLDIER they were never not together. Or at least, that was the case until a third force came in, Sephiroth, the hero. We don't know much of their friendship, only that they fought. A lot. And that Genesis seemed to be jealous of Sephiroth, or at least that was the case when they spoke, since Genesis was usually more invested in reading, and reading and reading the book for the play Loveless it stands to reason to think social interactions were not top priority.

But why was Loveless so important? Loveless is a play that tells the story of a godess, her return, and how she brings the end of the world, or that's what's thought happens, given that the last chapter is lost to history. Genesis is obsessed with that story. In every single scene Genesis shows up, Loveless is quoted to show the ambition Genesis has to bring the godess to the world. To become the godess. Genesis Rhapsodos is a trans woman.

Thinking about her this way gives a whole new meaning for her story and actions. Her running away from home, her hate towards Sephiroth and the world and, mostly, her friendship with Angeal.

Going in order, is not hard to guess why she would hate her family. They didn't accept her, that's why she runs away to only end up killing them and burning the whole town down once she finally comes back. Which makes sense, given that her diary shows us she was a lonely child, she was likely also not accepted by the folks in her hometown.

After that, we have the hate and evny towards Sephiroth. I see it as something as easy as the resentment she felt at someone who was happy and didn't know anything about the pain it brings to not have parental love because they hate your kind. And yes, Sephiroth may have been an orphan, but Genesis clearly seemed to think that was a better option.

Finally, we have Angeal. As I said at the start I also belive him to be trans, but in a different light. Angeal is presented as an stoic, no nonsense character, contrasting with Genesis' explosive and theatrical persona, which for me represents a different way of dealing with the heart break that was his mother not fully accepting him.

At first the thought of his mother being transphobic seems unreasonable, after all, she loves her son, she seems worried about him when you speak to her. Well, yes, but the problem is both things can be true at once. The reject of his identity, while clearly a hate driven action, in the eyes of a parent can be confused with an act of love. The real problem begins when they refuse to change that view, such as she does.

When we meet her she doesn't answer to "Are you Angeal's mom?" but only to Zack introducing himself after she remembers her son wrote about him in a letter. Now she knows who he is asking for, who Angeal is, and her first question is "Are you with Genesis?", or, as we are seeing this plot, asking if he is also one of them queers. Zack says no, which in turn makes Gillian willing to speak with him about Genesis and her son, who I belive treats in masculine not out of acceptance in this scene but because she understands Zack might not know and doesn't wish to cause troubles to her only child. After this interaction, next time we see her is dead, after taking her own life and with her son staring at her corpse. This also marks the time Angeal's character goes down a spiral that makes him a "monster".

With both chracters' stories more or less covered, now I want to talk about their struggles and ultimately their demise. Both trans people not accepted by their families and town, they run away together to the big city. Once there they try their best to live their life, Angeal manages to, at least to some extent, while Genesis unable to transition becomes more and more consumed by the pain and hate she feels. Angeal is unable to let go of the mother he left alone after his father died, and tries to mend the relationship, but fails time and time again, taking a toll on him. Genesis, on the other hand, doesn't care about those who didn't care for her, killing everyone that dared to wrong her. Angeal suffers when her mother died, Genesis finds it just. Angeal cannot go any further with what he caused, he might be trans but wishes he wasn't, he sees himself as a monster, thus becoming one and asking Zack, his only friend left, to end him. Genesis, with each day that passes, which each second she feels is pushed further and further from her goal, she loses it more and more, beliving herself to be the godess who will bring forth the end of the world, and so she becomes a bastardized form of the godess, who also ends up defeated and left to rot, alone and broken. Both of them imitating the play loveless. Stories about revolution and change, cut too short, the last chapter lost to time, forever.

And that's my trans coded reading of the characters! I know it's depressing and also not at all what the story and plot is about, but it's also something I clearly see when playing the game, and art is suppoused to be a personal experience, so this is who I choose to see my own experiences through this silly guys:)

also if you read this shit I love you and are entitled to ask me to buy you a gift as prize

[communistkenobi]

(genuine question, sorry if any of my language is incorrect/outdated) I was reading that post you reblogged about the distinction between gender and sex and how both concepts are linked and oppressive & the ask you answered where you said that we should abolish sex distinctions on medical records. and I don’t disagree with your point, but I’m wondering how feasible it is? Or I guess, how we would then navigate the medically differences between different groups of people. Because the unfortunate truth is that some biological factors do affect your predisposition to certain diseases or how you’ll react to medication.

For example, Black people in the US are more likely to have diabetes. and obviously a lot of this is due to poverty and other socioeconomic problems, but if we were to abolish the concept of race (before solving the underlying issues), it could lead to people not being diagnosed with the correct illness as quickly, since there’s no longer that demographic information available (I’m realizing that diabetes was a bad example for this specific problem, but I’m drawing a blank on a better example).

I remember for years growing up that there was a push to recognize that the stereotypical “pain in left arm” depiction of a heart attack was more common among cis men, and cis women usually presented differently. And I’m a cis woman with ADHD, but when trials were being conducted to prove that medications were effective, they focused only on cis men, so now I just have to deal with my meds being way less effective whenever I’m on my period.

The example you gave of a trans man’s insurance denying him coverage for a pap smear seems more like an issue of the insurance company linking gender and sex, rather than respecting that someone saying that they are a man on government forms doesn’t inherently describe what organs they do or do not have. Which seems like it would be a point in the favor of people who draw a distinction between gender and sex. Yes, he is a man, but he has organs that need to regularly be screened for cancer, the same way a trans woman might need to be checked for prostate cancer.

The medical field is definitely sexist and transphobic (and just about every other -ist and -phobic), but couldn’t abolishing both gender and sex exacerbate these issues? The only thing I can think of is, like, checkboxes for what organs you have, but that seems like it’d still be the concept of “sex”, just in slightly different language.

so, a couple points before we get into this conversation:

Current gendered distinctions in the medical field to address health issues are not nearly as helpful as you are suggesting

You cannot abolish the concept of race (or gender or class or etc) without addressing the underlying systemic violence and inequality that gives those social categories power in society

Like, baseline - how helpful is it to sort all of humanity into 2 bins, male or female, medically speaking? To use a hypothetical, if you were to sort all human beings into 2 categories, either “young�� or “old,” what medical information about those people could you glean from that alone? The answer is probably more than zero, but it’s still not a lot, and if we were to construct an entire insurance and medical apparatus on the basis of whether you’re young or old alone would be very silly.

Now what you’re talking about is using a collection of demographic information - gender, race, age, weight, etc - to construct standard benchmarks by which to measure medical outcomes in people. However, the origins of things like gender and race are not medical, they’re social, and are used to enforce social positions in society that may produce specific medical outcomes as a result of either oppression (eg, certain racial minorities are more predisposed to certain health conditions) or inference (eg, “only women can get pregnant”).

You, as a cis woman, telling your doctor you’re a cis woman, does not actually describe your ability to get pregnant, only a rough probability. If we want to describe the group of people in society who can get pregnant, we should call them “people who can get pregnant.” then we’re including everyone who can, and not including anyone who cannot (infertile cis women, some intersex people, trans women, some nonbinary people, people who have had their uterus removed, post-menopausal cis women, etc). That results in a de-gendering of pregnancy, and allows for a more precise description of what medical resources those people may need access to.

Additionally, race is not a biological determination of health (it is not biological at all). It is a social position that we all occupy different positions in, which, by virtue of being in those positions, gives us access to different social and physical environments that produce varying health outcomes. If you are black and live in a food desert, and suffer health problems as a consequence, that is not a biological difference on the basis of your race, that is purely a social one. The solution there would not be to codify race as a biological determinant of health, it would be to alter the built environment so that no one lives in a food desert. White supremacy is what produces these outcomes.

To use your ADHD trial example - the problem there is that it is assumed that the gender of cis men is medically trivial while treating all other genders as significant; they are presented as the human default, and anyone who does not fit that standard (ie, roughly 50% of all human beings) is a deviation from normalcy. We see this most especially with race, where white people are assumed to be non-racial, existing outside the construct of race, and therefore we act as a handy baseline by which all other races can be measured (which is bad). The solution to this problem is not to draw more precise gender or race boundaries around symptoms, conditions, or medical trials, but to decouple gender and race from it entirely and describe in exact terms what affects whom. Race does not affect health outcomes; white supremacy does. Gender does not affect health outcomes; patriarchy does.

This is where systemic solutions come in! These are tricky because they’re comprehensive and require mass upheaval of existing institutions and norms. To use a historical example - the USSR* instituted a policy whereby women would be fully compensated for all reproductive labour (child-rearing, domestic labour, etc), effectively making housekeeping a full time job. Does this abolish patriarchy? No, but it certainly helps reduce misogyny in society by offering economic equality and enshrining domestic labour as being on par with productive labour. This also does a lot to help women medically, socially, legally, etc. by reducing economic dependency on their husbands and therefore reduces abuse, unhappy marriages, all of those things. this is the kind of policy that acts as a handy starting point for thinking about systemic solutions to systemic problems.

When talking about the abolition of a given social category (gender, race, etc), addressing the violence that social category does to the people who end up on the bottom of it is how abolition works. It’s not merely changing language or expanding existing norms (which are not useless of course, but they’re insufficient). Doctors offering HRT to trans people after we receive a mental illness diagnosis is like, better than not having access to care at all, but it still sucks! Trans people, in some countries, are in the process of being folded into the medical institution and are being constructed as a special medical class of people. That doesn’t get rid of transphobia and it doesn’t help all trans people, just those lucky enough to access it, and then the even smaller group of us who are lucky enough to convince doctors and psychiatrists to write the prescriptions and diagnoses and referrals required for us to be respected as our own gender. I could not legally change my name and gender marker until I had the sign-off from a doctor who was treating me medically for gender dysphoria, a professional person who knew me for at least five years, and a lawyer - and I’m in the incredibly privileged position to be able to get all of their signatures. That’s not freedom, that’s just paperwork!

The institution of medicine does not exist external to societal pressures; phrenology and eugenics are medical concepts that are deeply destructive and violent. Accounting for human variation does not require us to rely on social constructions of gender and race; we have precise terminology that we can use that will more accurately describe those things. I’m not a medical doctor, so I don’t know what those terms will all be, nor can I pretend to know what a fully equal medical institution looks like. but for example, I’ve seen people describe human bodies in terms of “estrogen dominant endocrine systems” and “testosterone dominant endocrine systems.” Is that better? Maybe! It’s probably a lot more useful of a description of a human body than man or woman is.

*me invoking the USSR as an example is not an endorsement of the entire state across its 70 year lifespan, nor is it an invitation for people to tell me how bad it actually was

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[carzugus099]

Okay guys, so this is more of a rant of my own but I wanted to tell someone but I was kinda scared of the reactions of the people I know in person so here I am, opening my mind to millions of strangers of which very little will actually pay attention to this post

And of course some people I have known here will probs read this too, but I'm not scared of them knowing this

So, the things is: I'm not really scared of mah material loving people's reaction to this, I just don't want them to worry, cuz it's actually okay, I'm over it, I just realised something big and wanted to acknowledge it in some way

Okay now, enough buffering, imma give yall what you actually want to read; the TEA

So I've labelled myself as aro-ace for a few years now, and sure; I've had those sexuality crisis and whatnots, but I actually believed in myself labeled like that

And I still do!, the a in both the words that summarises for means 'little to no attraction of this type", but I had actually found some people mildly attractive, while, on the other hand, I had never actually fallen in love with somebody before; or never had I acknowledged it

And hold your horses cuz this ain't gonna be a mushy confession of how I found the love of my life and etcetera etcetera.

No.

This is actually about the first person (and only, for the moment) I have ever been in love with.

Her name shall not be given as she is a real human and stuff

So we had been friends since third grade, which in my country means 8 years old. I don't actually remember how we started being friends, I just know that we started playing uno cards in the lunch recess. She told me, years after, that we actually had music extracurricular activity together, but I was always in my worlds of fantasy or reading and don't actually remember her being there, even if I do remember the class and some other members of it.

She later on that year introduced me to her best friend, let's name her Tripsy, and another friend of hers.

The three of us became the bestest of friends, people couldn't think of one of us without the other two.

So we where super close, but as time went by we couldn't spend as much time together, being cuz of diferent classes or bcuz they stopped coming to the school cafeteria at one point, so we made new friends with whom we spended time with aswell.

And this normally ain't an issue for long-term friends to keep their relationships, but Tripsy didn't get along well with my new friends, nor did they.

And to be honest there were times when they were mean to her and I didn't really step in for her, as a good friend would have done; but at this point I was just realising how much of a jerk she is.

(To this day, she's homophobic, racist, transphobic, sexist and a long list of other jerk characteristics)

She is like

Supercatholic✨️

And I was okay with, truly; religion is a lovely way to release the tension of the day to day, believing you have a forever friend and father who will be with you no matter what.

That, I'm okay with; but y'know it's not that simple, there are bad ppl with high places in the church who devotes will believe in to the point of hate.

She has told me, to my face, that I'm confused with my asexuality and I just haven't found the right person yet.

She has said, that if she had a trans child she would send them to the psiquiatrist; and that really enfuriated me, cuz she wanted too have so many children and all those poor living being will end up either tortured by her or like her.

And of course that's not the nicest thing to hear when struggling with your gender (I realised i was genderqueer not long after that), so yeah, stings a bit.

The thing is, I did care for her in all of diferent ways, me myself, as the anti-empathic autistic potato i am, (another one to the list, even if she tried remaining chill around me with it for us neurodivergent people were very present and understood in my school), would cry thinking of the stress she had too deal with, for her parents were so pressuring she has taken medication, gone to the psicologist and there the skin of her fingers to the point of bleeding cuz of stress.

So yeah, we drifted apart a bit.

And of course, she had known my other bestie for years, and as the bad person she is, she was quick to condition her to choose between one or the other.

They have always bad-mouthed ppl; my mother has heard things first from my friends mothers than from me, and we're pretty close.

And they also had like a grades war in which they tried to force me into, as they were jealous I always scored high grades with minimal effort, and for being the mathematic genius I am; but I didn't actually want ro meddle in the drama, and they didn't like that.

Well, backstory apart, I stepped down a little bit and enjoyed the moments I could have with her without Tripsy, letting her know I was not gonna make her choose between us.

Some time after that, I realised I had feelings for her, and eventually told, even though I knew I was gonna be rejected, as I was.

But it felt like the correct thing to do.

And as I expected, she freaked out for over a week, so I told her I wasn't hurt and was perfectly okay with what we had at the moment.

And by the end of the course year, life seemed nice: we would have all summer to spend time together and wouldn't have to worry much about Tripsy.

But then, Saint John happened; and the three of us were in a group of common friends, whom had decided to hang out that night.

(In Spain, this is a celebration of the end of the school year and the start of the summer, and students burn books and notebooks, and then jump over the fire and everything else you do at a party)

So I was asking were would we meet, as I had been the one to propose the meeting, and no-one answered my calls so I called Tripsy, who got all mad in the group chat and we had a big argument and she said some things she shouldn't have known; and she shouldn't have known cuz I had told this to only one person, and had trusted her to keep the secret.

Long story short, I wrote to her demanding an explanation which didn't come and most people of that chat stopped really talking to me.

And it hurt, of course it hurt, she was the only person with whom I felt truly comfortable with, they only person with whom I allowed myself to be myself, the only person who I couldn't picture my future without, even if not in a romanticall way.

So yeah, I'm dumb, bcuz until today that I read an old love note I never actually gave to her, I had never wanted to realise I was in love with her!

And I knew!, okay, I knew it was different from any other crush I had ever had, but the word love scared me, and scared her even more, so I just let it be.

To be honest, whoever read that lever would probably not believe i didnt know i was in love with her until today.

[qpr-culture-is]

I know it's not really a confessions blog or something like that but I'm just so confused and lost and I just want to describe my feelings to someone. English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes

So first of all I'm trans, I think it's pretty important to the story, kinda had a transphobic phase because my country it's not only very lgbtqphobic but our queer community is also very hostile towards trans people, like more than I have seen in other communities, so it's common. Pretty closed about this, tried to come out to some of my friends and classmates almost 2 years ago now, went wrong, don't talk to them and become very paranoid. Not even planning to tell someone about me being trans before a lot of people transferred to our class, they all were added in our group chat and I immediately pin pointed this dude with gerard way as their pfp who then asked to refer to him with he/him only and use other name. Holy shit. I literally never in my life seen an openly trans person, not even a closed one, never interacted with someone also trans irl so it was HUGE for me. Skipped first week of school, was kinda worried that I'm going to be an outcast, but that I finally meet him, and like the first thing he said to me was "wait are you that person with *fandom* as your pfp?" so we immediately connected. I was on cloud nine because he is SO COOL and only a few girls in our class are deadnaming him and it's so nice no one is being mean to him and I think it kinda changed my way of viewing how people will react if I come out to them. Because most people just don't care. Then I gave him my other socials and he saw me using any pronouns and he was like hey! How do i refer to you! Cool! And i told him that I'm actually also trans and he never ever questioned or doubted it even though I'm pretty fem presenting.

So yeah I rambled sorry it was just a really cool experience really cool dude. So the reason why I'm writing to qpr blog it's because I lately started catching feelings for him?? But I'm not in love?? I don't really know how to explain this but for a really long time I was just thinking that I just have a friend crush then that I want to date him and like I knew about qpr and I knew that qpr is way more complex and it's not just the secret third thing after dating and being friends. But like, I want to kiss him and give him gifts in a way that I view as romantic but when he's mentioning dating or his exes I don't feel a thing. Today was weird, I slept for only 3 hours and felt a little bit wonky, so I said a lot of things that were like straight up flirting. And I felt embarrassed and blushed and shit but not in "hehe I flirted with my crush!!" way but more in "holy shit it was embarrassing why did I say it" way. And he also talked about a guy that he has a very weird relationships with for the past 2 years, he said that like yeah we're friends but not really we had some periods of dating but not really and he also constantly flirts with other people including me. And I was just yeah kill him and didn't thought much of it, not jealous or sad that he have something going on with other people, but I still want to date him, but in friends way. So after I pondered about it for a while I think that I just want to have that Secret Third Thing with him. Still feel lost because I never felt like that before and because I think that I'm alloromantic and I was in romantic relationships before so I know how I act when I'm in love with people. With him it's so close what I feel when I'm in love with someone but at the same time it's so different and such weird foreign felling. Woud like to hear some advice for how people realised or what people feel and want in qpr relationships, I know it's different for a lot of people, but I want to hear something from heros who read this wall of text

Giving you a little breakdown of things I have noted;

-You can absolutely be alloromantic and want a qpr/have a squish

-To me it does sound like it may be a squish

-All in all you'll have to make that decision for yourself, and it could very well just be the fact that you've never connected with a person like you have with him before so it's all a bit different for you

And here's a bit of my past experiences

It's really a bit hard to remember since it's been forever, and given I'm aroace squishes have always seemed like legitimate crushes (in a weird way) so keep that in mind.

The last squish I remember having was a little over a year ago. I really connected with the person and they made me laugh a lot. I felt pulled to them in some kind of way. I wanted to spend time with them and I wanted to be called their partner. It was just,,, different than my previous feelings towards friends. Now, if it weren't for events that happened later on, I could have very well been convinced it was a romantic crush (we ended up in a romantic relationship for a bit but my aro ness got in the way and I began to feel very uncomfortable with the whole thing), and am honestly not sure how to differentiate those feelings from that of a romantic crush.

The only other time I can think of having a squish would be quite a while back, and at the time I was completely convinced it was romantic (I had not even really been aware of the aro and ace labels at the time). Once again, the feelings were towards a close friend. They were my best friend in fact, and at the time I really thought we understood each other like nobody else did, and it was almost as if we were very drawn to each other. Contrary to what you noted, there was a bit of jealousy here and there when they were with someone else later on (tho I know believe to be more in a platonic context anyways). And... thats basically all I've got

So those are my main experiences with having squishes, if that gives you an idea of what to expect from one. I'd also like to say that I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this! I've been a bit busy the last few weeks and am currently on holiday break now and haven't felt up to doing a whole lot (and keep forgetting to post as well)

[aokozaki]

With all due respect you are doing the work of transmisogynists when you legitimise grievances with some trans women being like, snippy and rude in the way they talk about people who have structural power over us. And like a major way people wield that power is to endlessly handwringing about language like “theyfab” instead of ever acknowledging that it has no real power over them and using that rudeness to unperson us by accusing us of being The Real Transphobes if we ever get too loud about trans feminism. So I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing by adding to that handwringing but like, any sense of proportionality would tell you that it is first and foremost going to be used as license for people to ignore transfems if we cross the line of “being somewhat rude to people who mistreat us as a class” which is, I don’t know, probably worse than just saying nothing at all?

Hmm, dunno, this just feels like a slippery slope fallacy?

Like, yeah, transmisoginy and hyper-visibility mean that even mild critique of trans women can snowball into callouts and drama and unpersoning and all that, but like, what, you can't critique any behavior at all?

Of course, being mindful about how discourse snowballs was part of why we locked reblogs on the post. T'was spreading a bit too far for what was ultimately more of a ramble than an essay, y'know?

Also, sorry but like, if you're going to critique people who mistreat trans women as a class, can you like, say that? The whole point is that "theyfab" isn't really a specific term to that, it's just community infighting.

And, critiquing what we perceive as transphobia isn't meant to "unperson someone as The Real Transphobes". It's such a stupid fucking notion that we should have to fight and squabble over who has it worst. Like yeah trans women do have it shit in a lot of ways but does complaining about "theyfabs" actually address that?

No, you're just kinda being catty about a type of nonbinary person.

If you're going to get loud about trans feminism, do that! You can speak on your own issues without being a bitch. You're not being unpersoned (or, well, not always being unpersoned, again like hyper-visibility and callouts are a thing) when someone points out that like, it's a rude thing to call someone.

The original post was a bit poorly stated (again, locked reblogs), but it was comparing two words in the sense of being annoyed that some people defend their god-given right to call people theyfabs and how it's totally fine because it's not a slur, which apparently means it can't be a rude word at all or something.

Anyway see how criticisms should be specific and how we're not actually like, crusading against trans women in general?

[radsplain]

"If everyone identified as female, then actually a lot of problems would be solved, think about it,misogyny would hold no water because it would just be the hated of everyone and you couldnt oppress female rights without oppressing the rights of everyone, so L. "

This argument is completely incoherent. Do you really believe that men will stop being violent towards women just because they, en-masse, started identifying as women? That makes no sense. It doesn't matter what words we use. Hell, we could get rid of gender terms altogether and just start identifying as "humans." That wouldn't change a fucking thing, nor would it change the physical lived reality of females. This is the problem with all of you gender ideologists. You overemphasize the importance of words over reality and think that changing the meaning of them to be more "inclusive" will lead to liberation for women. I don't care if we were all one monogender. Our sex determines how we are oppressed. If you happen to be female, you are oppressed on the basis of your sex class.

“what rights do people who simply identify as females not have?”  Hmmm, let’s see, people are trying to remove trans rights all the damn time and yet here you are acting like it dosnt exist, hmmmmm. 

Trans people are not missing out on any rights based on the fact that they're trans. In fact, trans women, specifically, have more institutional rights than biological women do, especially as it regards to reproductive rights. What rights are they missing out on, exactly?

The universal struggles of female identifying people you ask? WWEEEELLLL I WILL TELL YOU! The same ones that you and I have (Yes, believe it or not, i have a vagina and tits! Woah!!! Meaning that you cant shoot down my argument by saying im “Not a real female” by your transphobic ideas!),Sexism, misogyny, lack of respect, ect, ect. AND ON TOP OF THAT, There are people who try to remove their basic human rights, or make it illegal to transition or harder to receive care. 

Trans women who happen to pass well (which, let's be real, the majority do not) may be subject to various forms of misogyny. However, this is misplaced misogyny. As they are not women, that misogyny is being misdirected. In addition, many trans women who don't pass well (ie they are visibly trans identified men) who find themselves being harassed by other men, that harassment is based in homophobia, not misogyny. Many trans women mistake the harassment they receive from men as misogyny, when most of the times it's just homophobia at seeing a man dress in stereotypical "women's" clothing. So, there's that.

But on top of that, they need to deal with transphobic asswipes like you who try to deny their existence and say that they arent valid.

Not believing in the mystical, pseudo-spiritual belief that states someone can simply self-identify into an oppressed sex class simply because they "feel" like they are a woman on the inside is not oppression. Someone not validating your feelings because they don't believe in gender ideology is not oppression. Just like an atheist who doesn't believe in God is not oppressing someone who does believe in God simply by stating the fact that God doesn't exist. Furthermore, if someone needs their reality validated by every single person they come into contact with, their identity may not be as innate and real as you think. Women who know they are women don't constantly need validation from others to know they are women. They just are.

AND ON TOP OF THAT, There are people who try to remove their basic human rights, or make it illegal to transition or harder to receive care.

No one is trying to remove basic human rights or make it illegal to "transition." Most people who are critical of the medicalization of a mental illness and maladaptive coping disorder simply want safeguards in place for people who choose to take this route. Currently, the standard practice of care to treat gender dysphoria is puberty blockers or teens and children, and hormones and possibly irreversible surgery for adults. Looking at the many, many accounts from detransitioners, who, yes, truly identified as and believed themselves to be trans, the overarching sentiment is that they wish their mental health issues and the delusions they had from their dysphoria were not simply affirmed (as affirmation gender therapy is the standard practice of care).

Affirmation therapy doesn't look at the root issues of a patient's dysphoria, and from what we're seeing, many people who transition have had troubled childhoods where they were sexually assaulted (making them feel disconnected from their bodies which led them to believe they were trans), are autistic (which is coupled with black and white thinking (e.g. an autistic women who is a lesbian and also likes wearing masculine clothing may feel like she doesn't "fit" the label of woman), not feeling the "same" as your peers, feeling alienated in social settings, etc), are gay (there are many accounts of children who realized they were gay at a young age and felt pressured, consciously or unconsciously, by parents who were so extremely homophobic to the point where they'd rather have a trans kid. So, instead of having a gay son or daughter, they would have a straight daughter or son), and in some cases, especially with trans-identified males, are suffering from autogynephilia (becoming aroused at seeing oneself dressed presenting in a feminine fashion). The list goes on.

Transitioning" as it is today is not a catch-all problem solver from many different reasons with people think they might be trans and decide to transition. Most people just need therapy, based in CBT, to work through their dysphoric feelings. Just like we wouldn't give someone suffering from anorexia a liposuction surgery just because they think they're fat, we also shouldn't be handing our puberty blockers to minors. Many of these drugs are experimental, and the long-term effects have not been properly studied. In the meantime, people are being hurt by these drugs and their physical health is suffering from it.

It's very likely that the majority of people who have dysphoria, especially as teens, will simply grow out of it with age and time. The evidence is showing this to be true. Why are we giving puberty blockers (which are not safe and can cause irreparable damage to their bodies - look up how puberty blockers effect vital bone density development in teens) to teenagers who will most likely grow out of their dysphoria? Adults who are suffering from it very well may decide to transition, that is absolutely their choice. But it should also be the absolute last resort, especially considering the many side effects that come with medically transitioning, whether that just be taking hormones or surgery. Currently, most people are able to walk into gender clinics and get their hormones in the span of two one-hour visits, with no further interrogation into their past mental health problems. This is an extreme medical oversight and we're already seeing the fallout (although it's not as publicized, as many detransitioners are scared to speak out about their issues publicly and any dissenting opinions on the trans issue in mainstream media is a faux paux).

Hope that helps.

[tommstic]

Being trans in the south

Hey all! I’ve finally accepted myself, and I think that now is a perfect time to share my story. This post will contain transphobic language, descriptions of dysphoria, and other possibly triggering things. I think it’s important to read just to get a look into the life of a trans kid in the south, but if it makes you uncomfortable, please skip if you need!

I live in the southern area of the USA. It’s not really a secret, I talk about my state and the whether pretty often so it’s not like I’m trying to hide who I am. Because of that, I feel comfortable sharing this story with some more personal details.

I live in South Carolina. The state is no stranger to anti-lgbtq+ corruption in the local government and in the citizens. SC is one of the states which has currently banned LGBTQ+ topics to be taught under the umbrella of sex ed. With this info, you can probably infer what life as an lgbtq+ teen is like in the dead centre of a red state.

I realised I was trans during late 2019 - early 2020 (my memory is fuzzy due to unrelated matters, so sorry if the timeline feels fuzzy sometimes). I decided to identify as bigender at the time. I only came out to my close friends, and that was after months of being scared they wouldn’t accept me. Of course, they accepted me, being lgbtq+ themselves.

Later on, somehow, word began to spread that I was trans and people at school began to ask me questions about it. It was scary. I remember being so anxious every time someone would come up and talk to me during that time because I was afraid they would harass, hurt, or judge me because of my identity. And naturally, whenever someone would ask, I would tell them I wasn’t trans and they’d heard wrong. It felt weird to act like I was “the victim of gossip” when in reality it was true. I was trans, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Time passes, blah blah, unimportant nonsense. Nothing really significant to my identity happens, I still identified as bigender. I was trying to accept myself more by being more public with my identity. I wanted to believe that the south wasn’t as hateful as the media portrayed it, so I was public about my identity online and would tell people I was trans if they asked. My first instance of experiencing genuine transphobia was when I was banned from my friend’s house by their dad due to me being trans.

I felt so sick that night and I cried so so much- I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that my identity had gotten me banned from seeing them again. I felt like I was the problem.

Then I entered my freshman year. I started wearing pins on my ID because I wanted to try again. Plus, I assumed that if I was in a public space I’d be safe. I wasn’t entirely wrong, but in some instances it didn’t exactly work out.

There were certain classes where I took off my trans pin from my ID. Mostly classes overrun by country kids and openly trans/homophobic people. I would put the pin in a small pocket in my bag and wear my ID as normal.

One day I did the same as usual, putting my pin away, and I noticed this kid looking at me weird. We leave the classroom and when we come back to pack up I check my bag and the zipper is opened and the pin is gone. Now I’m not completely sure it was him, but someone stole my pin and I know it wasn’t out of jealousy. There was a sticky note with a shitty cross drawn onto it. Losing the pin sucked, especially considering the motive, but it was the least of my problems.

People from my school would occasionally send me DMs via Instagram telling me I need God and how I’m disgusting. I was even threatened a few times, which was sadly no surprise. I’ve always prided myself on not taking cyber bullying seriously when it’s aimed towards me. I don’t typically let it affect me. But when you’re already surrounded by an environment that seems to absolutely hate you, having your online spaces being invaded the same way hurts like hell.

During the same class I mentioned earlier, I was called slurs both to my face and behind my back. Two kids were talking saying that “the class had been ruined by the tr*nnies,” while nodding in my direction. Another kid had asked me straight up if I was a tr*nnie.

It was around this time that I felt like giving up on my identity. I still felt sick looking in the mirror and looking at my body. I still hated everything remotely feminine about myself. I still hated being a girl but I decided that it was just easier to suppress my identity and go back to being “normal.”

In other words, being told that Id never be a real man was the straw that broke the camels back.

I still mentioned being trans in passing when I was talking with my friends, but generally I kept it a secret. During this time, I began to feel even worse about myself. I considered suicide because I felt like I would never be a real man. I felt like I wouldn’t ever be able to free myself from this prison that I had built for myself by rejecting my identity. It was shitty and it felt awful. I kept holding on to any piece of femininity I could find in myself because of how much I started to hate the idea of being trans. I hated it so much I just wanted to stay “normal.”

I relapsed. The only other trans friend I had at the time was a fucking enabler who I should have cut off forever ago, so it just got worse. I started doing stupid shit that I can’t even say on here for my own safety. It was bad, it put me in danger, and it was disgusting.

I began to calm myself down after a few months of not thinking about it and I decided to wade back into the waters of my trans identity by identifying as genderless. I just thought “hey, if I don’t have a gender, then there’s no reason to feel dysphoria right? I’m just me.”

Yea well no surprises here, it didn’t work. Another year of suppressing my real identity and I still hadn’t learned anything. I suppressed my identity for 3, almost 4, years because I was so scared of who I really was. I suffered from so much internalised transphobia for the past years due to the environment I grew up in. It changed how I perceived myself for the worst, and in the end, it didn’t stop me from being trans.

I have VERY recently come to accept my identity. I’m a boy. I’m FtM and that’s okay!! I wanted so bad to be able to hang on to my cisgender identity that it made me feel miserable for years. Finally I can really say that I’m trans and proud. I feel like I actually fit my identity and I no longer feel like I’m faking anything. It feels so freeing-

However, now that I’ve finally let go of my internal transphobia, I still have to face that of the world around me. I’m anxious to be public about my identity, I’m anxious to even come out to my parents (AGAIN.) because of what they might think.

I know there’s people out there who’ve had it worse than me, and that scares me the most. To imagine that there’s people struggling with the same issues as I am but with genuine violence in their lives, it’s worrying. As a country and as a society we have to understand that our views on young lgbtq+ members is crucial to how they view themselves. We’re just kids, we shouldn’t have to “toughen up” because we’re being told to shoot ourselves. We shouldn’t be getting told all these terrible things in the first place.

It’s fucking awful and I don’t think people have a real understanding of how passive transphobia affects people in the real world. There are dead trans kids because of this. There are dead queer kids because of this. It’s not easy to be surrounded by hate no matter where you look. I was lucky enough to have my friends as a support but not every kid has that. We gotta fucking fix this, it’s hurting innocent kids who just want to figure themselves out.

This was longer than I expected,, I tried to keep everything very linear. This isn’t a sob story or whatever, I just want to raise awareness for kids in the south because what I experienced was honestly so mild compared to what some other people I know have gone through. If you made it to the end, that’s awesome because I would’ve gotten tired by now Hah- thank you so much for reading-

if you’re of legal age to vote PLEASE do research on who you’re voting for because our leaders, local or National, determine the future of this country.

[inkybinkyboink]

just read myself back and realized this is a bit venty so feel free to ignore this ask - this was just to say i relate to your post from like 6 days ago (?) about being outed by other people

yes absolutely and if one of the first people in the friendgroup/class/social situation is more uncomfortable with you/transphobic-er than you thought, it becomes a race where you have to come out to people before they get to them. it's like some kind of on-going race against the clock. cause you know that if that first person doesn't like/respect your transness they'll gossip about it or talk about it in a way you don't want them to, or even tell people you didn't even want to tell originally, whether it's intentional or not.

I came out as non-binary to someone i was relatively close to, and who seemed very open minded, and they surprised me with how often they'd bring it up on their own without prompt. As if this little factoid that doesn't change much consumed all their thoughts everytime they looked at me. I have been dressing and talking this way this whooooole time and even told them they could still use feminine pronouns if it was hard to switch (it's the "YOU ARE WOMAN" talk i wanted to stop because they'd mention it a lot) and it still was too jarring for them somehow.

anyway all that to say that i support/hope you won't delete posts like these cause i love seeing people express their trans frustration and annoyance on my feed. i get it and when i feel like that sometimes it's nice to be reminded that i'm not being overdramatic or alone in this experience!!! 😁😁 just like you aren't!!! we are here for you

love your blog bye

hey i hope it's okay to publish your ask!

i appreciate this very much, and im glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about this :)

i'm sorry about your friend :/ that's really shitty and honestly kind of dismaying to find out those kinds of things, or have those things happen to you, i totally hear you.

it's weird when you tell someone you're trans because they immediately stop seeing you as the person you identify as, and rather (for example, in my case) a man who "used to be" a woman. or vice versa. or a nonbinary person who's "actually" _____. yeah man, like you said, "this little factoid that doesn't change much consumed all their thoughts everytime they looked at me." (at least, in my own personal experience) and it's weird because the only thing that changed was their own perception of you. and for some reason that's a hurdle too big for them to cross.

you were very kind to reach out about this and i'll say it again, i appreciate it a lot. i am here for you too!

much love 💚

[karlmarxmaybe]

ASKING FOR ADVICE TO HELP AN ABUSED CHILD

I know of a trans Canadian child whose parents are transphobic and abusive. He's at high risk of self-harm. I don't know much info about him (name, specific region of Canada he lives in) bc I only know him from his youtube channel. If you know how I can help him, please answer or message me. Details about the situation below.

TW: child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA, suicide attempt

Hello. I recently found a very tiny youtube channel that posts gameplays, tiktoks and clips of animated shows. It is run by a teenager (I don't know his age for sure) who makes community posts talking about his terrible life situation. He is a trans boy and his parents are very transphobic, they actively gaslight him and tell him nobody cares about him, they forbid him from talking to people and are actively infringing his rights. He also talks about being repeatedly sexually assaulted and abused by classmates at his school, in 4th grade. His mother's husband installed a camera in the living room and it makes him feel unsafe. He shows signs of PTSD and has attempted suicide various times. He needs immediate help.

I tried calling Canadian child servicies but they need to know for which region of Canada I'm calling and I don't know which region he lives in (I only know he's located in Canada from his youtube info). I am trying the Canadian trans helpline but it's always occupied. I don't know what else to do.

Please, someone who knows how I can help respond or message me. If you don't know how to help reblog so it can get to someone who knows. Please, we have to help him.

I have transcribed some of his posts below so you have more info. Again, trigger warnings for child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA and suicide attempt.

Post from a year ago:

I always thought that no matter how bad things got at home i would still have school and i wouldn't really get hurt or touched but not anymore | guess. So last Wednesday a boy classmate of mine kneed me on the butt and when another classmate confronted him he just played it off as a joke then today durning second recess a girl in the other __th grade class came up to me randomly and slapped me on the butt and when | told her to stop and leave me alone the boy from last Wednesday came and kicked me on the butt then the girl came and slapped me on the butt a second time and then ran. When | tried to tell a teacher that was on duty she told the girl that she's not in trouble and to just talk it out with me. Worst part of it is | thought of her as a friend and multiple people were telling the girl to leave me alone.

Post from 10 months ago:

Just found out my parents secretly his acamera in the living room and now | feel,unsafe? Now, idk if unsafe is the right wordbut once | saw it | started getting anxiousalmost immediately. | know it's just a camera and it's in the living room instead of a bedroom or bathroom but still, there shouldn't BE a camera anywhere anyways.

Post from 9 months ago:

My mom and her husband keep acting sexual with each other, which isn't unexpected, they're two adults who are married to each other but what | mean by this is they'll act sexual almost anywhere but alone in their room, mostly in the kitchen. So lately whenever | go into the kitchen whether it be because they called me or both my siblings name making me think they want me or because I'm hungry, and when | see them being sexual with each other, my mom blames me because "| should know better" then tells me about doing explicit stuff with her husband then gets mad at me for being upset

Think of what | said like a AITA reddit post, I basically just want an opinion on the situation

Post from 3months ago:

does anyone else feel like they're going insane due to their parents? turns out that a shit ton of the stuff my mother has taught me is just all bullshit lies that have ruined my life in so many ways, and my stepdad constently tells me that he's going to kill my cat and if i had blue eyes then my mother would love me. and that's not even mentioning the phsyical abuse or anything i've repressed. it all feels like torture but i have to deal with it because everyone has it worse then me and what if i tell another adult? they'll have to get CAS involed then i'll get taken away and put into a worse home and i'll ruin my siblings lives and the entire family all because i was selfish. but what if that was just another one of my mothers lies and it's none of that willhappen??? but what about all those damn documentaries and shows my mother would make me watch of other children that had been put into terrible foster homes?? that means it can happen to me if i don't keep my mouth shut but i feel like i'm slowly going insane and i don't know what to do, there's nothing i can do! do i deserve this because i'm a bad child? or was a bad child? was i bound to live like this? did i do something wrong again and i just can't remember it again??? what do i do??? what have i done??? i don't know anymore and i want this to all stop but the only way to stop it is death but that'll be selfish because what if someone finds my dead body??? what if there's still people that care about me??? then it'll be cruel to end myself when people still care about me because i'll make them sad. i've already ruined so many people's lives while alive i shouldn't continue it while being dead. or is that also not true? is none of it true? is everyone but my parents the ones that are actually correct? i really can't tell anymore and that hurts the most

Post from 3 months ago:

what do I do with transphobic parents?yesterday i had to be with my parents for about 8 hours as my mother screamed at me and told me a bunch of terrible things because she found out i want to be a boy and she refuses to see me as one. some of the things she said is that wanting to be the opposite gender is a mental illness, how she feels like i killed her daughter. she straight told me that she will never accept me and that no matter how much i care about someone nobody really cares about me and everyone will just forget about me in a few years and how the ONLY people that care about me is my mother and step-father. she also forbids me from talking to anyone but i luckily have a secret computer that I've been using to talk to a friend. do i just have to accept all of this? is there anything i can do? i'm not old enough to move out and there's no one outside my household that i can stay with, even if there was my mother would just put up a huge fight having me go back anyways. | don't know what to do, i mean as long as i'm not getting physically hurt then I should just accept basically being mentally tortured, right? | just have to survive 4 more years then i can move far away but i just wantto die more and more everyday, and i was getting better when everyone at school was being accepting but yesterday my mother destroyed all of it. honestly I'll be surprised if I'm still alive in 2 years, and I'm really trying to continue living for my 2 best friends and my cat but if my mom's correct and they don't actually care about me then what the hell's the point. i don't know anymore, please can anyone give me a sliver of advice on how to deal with any of this

Post from 1 month ago:

Sometimes I wonder if both my parents loved me and treated me like human being, raised me with human decency, just like they treat everyone else.

How different would I be? Surely I'd be better, right? Hypothetically? It doesn't matter anyways, | want to die so much I've already tried three times this week and when | tried to ask my mom for a therapist she said | don't need one, she literally signed me up for some sort of waiting list thing and when | finally told her | got a voicemail to call back she told me that | don't need one and started to guilt trip me. | fucking need it, if lanyards didn't snap open easily then | would be dead. The only reason I'm still alive is because the lanyard snaps open whenever | try to hang myself with it and I'm too tires to go searching for something better. | fucking hate this, I'll try to kill myself one night then go to school the next day as if I wouldn't be dead if it weren't for a stupid lanyard. It's stupid and I'm just making people concerned whenever I'm acting "off". Nobody would be concerned about me ever again if | was dead. How many things can | YELL before they finally listen to me? How many things do | have to do before they notice or know? And those statements, or questions, go for everyone in my life. It doesn't matter how much | ask for help or simply show are yell about how I'm not alright everyone just keeps doing what their doing and won't listen until about an hour later of me trying to show I'm upset someone finally notices and | say that | was literally yelling at them and they still didn't even notice me, when that happens they feel bad and start to apologize. For SOME people it now just feels like empty apologizes, while for others | know they have a hard time paying attention especially when someone already has their attention so they get a pass because it's not they mean it. But still. At this point does it really matter? | have a job, a purpose if you will, and that is to protect and care for everyone. But some people | don't want to take care of. | don't want to keep taking care of grown adults who hardly take care of me, but | still have to because | know them. If | die I'll only feel bad for my cat and my 2 best friends. I've lost everything else that made me want to live. My little cousin's, my grandpa, | hardly see my Nana and my mom's cousin/ my "aunt” anymore. | promised to myself that | would protect my cousin's and now they're god knows where and everyone else is some other reason, the worst part might be that they're not dead, they're still alive, | can cope with death much easier than abandonment.But it's whatever. It's life. You lose people and eventually you die. So what's the point anymore? | could kill myself during summer break and nobody but my family would know. At least my friends wouldn't be worried and sorrowful

Post from 3 weeks ago:

My parents took away my mattress, my bedframe is bars, | have no where to sleep buton a broken couch that someone has masturbated on SEVERAL times

Post from 4 days ago:

| hate remembering stuff so much, I've taught myself to forget all the bad memories, so much so that I'm quick to forget even the good memories. But now lately whenever | try to use my method to forget stuff | just remember more. | don't want to remember more. | hate it so much. | don't want to remember all the time's I've been SAd at school. Why the fuck do | have to remember that. | hate remembering what happened each time. | hate remembering being surrounded by several people and all they did was STAND THERE AND FUCKING AS | CRIED AND SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP. | FUCKING HATE THAT | HAVE TO REMEMBER IT. THEN BEING BLAMED FOR CAUSING A SCENE OR TOLD THAT IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT, A MISTAKE. IT WASN'T A FUCKING ACCIDENT. THEY WERE TOLD TO LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE HAND. THEN WHEN THEY ACTUALLY STARTED SLAPPING MY ASS AND | SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP THEY FUCKING DIDN'T ALL THEY DID WASLAUGH. so it wasn't a fucking mistake. Infact they would've kept going and it would'vegotten worse if | wasn't saved by the bell. The people | was hanging out with just stared and watched. Out of all the time's I've been SA'd at school only ONE person has even tried to help me, Olivia told D to leave me alone beforehand because she knows | would never want that, especially unexpected and by someone who | hardly knew, even when D and M wouldn't leave me alone Olivia was trying to also scream at them to leave me alone and when the bell rang she ran over to me, put her hand on my back and led me over to our doors, led me up the stairs and helped me to find the French teacher because | trusted her. That was the only time someone tried to help. Not any of the times in 4th grade, and that shit went one everyday for 3 months! And at no point did anyone help me on track and field day, despite being surrounded by so many people all they did was watch or look the other way when | was pinned to the ground and being touched inappropriately by TWO people. So of course | had to fight to get back to standing. And when a teacher finally came over because | was screaming and crying,despite telling them what had just happened they just gave me trouble for causing a scene. | fucking hate all the people that touched me the way they did. | hate that people just stood there and did fucking nothing. And | fucking hate the teachers that just waved me off and said it was fine. | fucking hate remembering shit that | want to desperately forget