#trans girl at risk

[acronin7]

Figured I’d try here but hello! I’m posting on behalf of my trans friend. She’s an absolutely brilliant writer and a good friend of mine.

She’s a 19 year old trans girl living in Florida and her anti-LGBT family has threatened to throw her out into the streets in a weeks time.

There’s not many places she can go because she has neither extended family that is safe or IRL friends as she was home schooled.

Unfortunately I can’t help in person as I live halfway across the country. Instead I want to try and gather resources for her

She also has a go fund me!

(She unfortunately has to use her deadname here 😔)

Anything helps whether it be resources I could send to her or if you happen to know of a safe place in Florida she could stay!

[tampire]

Boy Math? Girl Math? I'm NonBinary and out of the equation.

[ear-motif]

as people learn more about transmasculinity im debating if itd make me more dysphoric to be a permanently clocky tboy to well-meaning libs who still view me as a woman regardless or to keep embodying my cissona

[catboyfurina]

I think a really underrated trans headcanon is like. Really closeted. Not stealth. Really closeted and either doesn't know yet (egg) or does know but is afraid to transition for xyz reasons. Because 90% of all trans headcanons I seem to see are slapping some scars or a binder on a guy which is fine and good!!! Love scars in art think we should absolutely romanticize the marks left by becoming happier in your own skin right but also like. Idk some headcanons I'm like I don't think he's ready to reach for that happiness. I think he's scared of choosing things to improve his own life.

[kalashtars]

if I think abt the state of trans politics in the US for more than .2 seconds I start wanting to sob god I hate it here

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

making my short-haired gamer wife take the COGIATI to see if she is actually a woman inside

I'll update you all later when we find out if she is a woman inside or just a confused man

[emangel2718]

Political rant in tags.

[icelogged]

hello one more bitch for the road 😔✌🏾terf is not a synonym for transphobe. terf is an acronym. tme trans people can be terfs. next scheduled bitchfest is between me our heavenly father amen or to annoy you specifically ❤️

[hgsn]

realizing I'm definitely a trans man who won't transition in any way bc I scared :((((( and I don't wanna get man baldness :'(((((

[catboyvulture]

Do you ever look at the news and think to yourself: "Huh, the way they use the crimes a single person has commited to demonize an entire group and as justification to deny them human rights sure does remind me of the way they used to talk about people of color and gay people"

And do you just then go: "Nah, surely this time they are correct." ???

Also please use at least something remotely trustworthy like the Washington Post to dehumanize people.

Also Love Nikki literally has a trans girl character so wtf

I'M LITERALLY TRANS MYSELF💀 Guess your mindset makes me violent and that I'm denying myself human rights then? Always great to see "allies" telling people what they should think as if we're a monolith, not giving cult vibes at all

Almost like you're the one "demonizing" an entire group of people instead of seeing that things like this will happen when women's and girls', especially black women, safety isn't being upheld, which will hurt both cis women AND trans women as it 1) leads to vulnerable women (many black) not being safe from violence and 2) others trying to paint an entire demographic in a bad light 3) idiot messages from ppl like you lol

Also if you'd followed me you'd know I HC several SN characters as trans💀💀

[cuntvonkrolock]

being a trans minor isn't a privilege and no amount of jealousy and bitterness you have towards trans minors for getting to start hrt early or for having supportive parents will make it a privilege.

[uncle-fruity]

There's also an element of self-policing. If you're afraid that you're going to get assaulted every time you go out alone, the more likely you are to isolate yourself inside. The more likely you are to believe that you need an escort when you go out. It's harder to feel confident and self-reliant if you're afraid of strangers. It's harder to do things for yourself when you feel weak. And so a lot of women feel like they don't have autonomy to go out at night or go out alone & live in fear that something will happen to them. They don't live full & happy lives because someone/society has convinced them that not only are they a perpetual target, but also that they would not be able to fight for themselves if they needed to. And, in my opinion, this mindset opens those women up to a very real kind of manipulative, controlling domestic abuse which is far more common than random attackers on the street. So yeah... idk, women. I think it's good to take defense classes or do anything at all that you need to do to feel more confident to move about freely in the world. You don't have to accept the narrative that men are by default more powerful than you, that you have no control in an assault situation, or that you must keep yourself quiet and out of the way to be less of a target. You can be powerful and capable and that isn't to say you shouldn't stay aware of your surroundings or write off *any* potential threat as harmless, but rather to say that it is not as common as you are being led to believe and you have more options than to shrink back and let the fear take you.

Idk like I think there's a really misogynist way that women are expected to consider being murdered and assaulted as like 1000x worse than anything else that could happen and do everything possible to avoid it and like it's unarguably bad! But constantly whenever I mention going hiking or whatever people are like 'omg you're going camping alone as a woman??? what if you get murdered?????' Actually by far the way I am most likely to die doing that is... some sleep deprived or drunk driver crashing into me on the way there! But no one tells you to avoid driving, meanwhile there's so much pressure on women to like, always stay in other crowded super safe areas or at home to Protect Their Virtue and it's like lol I would actually rather live an interesting life doing things that I enjoy

[gibbearish]

hii i didn't know where to post this but I figured your blog could be good since a lot of ppl who are questioning their gender will check it out bc of our uquiz

There's this one uquiz called "are you transgender (afab only)" by 033950 that's made by a terf and even though in retrospect the questions & answers on it get suspicious early on, it still felt awful, the result is super shitty & hurtful (there's only 1) telling the quiz taker to "accept reality" & a dumb speech. So yeah, anyone afab who's questioning and doing uquizs for fun ignore that one... Take care

jeeeesus christ i just went and took it myself and yeah those questions/answers are. so fucking manipulative, ESPECIALLY with only one answer. theres a reason none of the answers in my quiz are definitive like that and it's because. like. im aware that i wrote mine based on my own feelings and experiences and that i dont actually know yall taking it and therefore Cant Give A 100% Solid Answer, and "no youre dumb and just imagining it" is, imo, a terrible response no matter what. even if you are imagining it, even if it is a phase, that does not at all mean that those feelings are invaluable or invalid, which is exactly what that quiz does. and i mean i know that's the whole point of it, but like. holy fuck did they swing for the fences. thank you for putting the psa out, i hope no one gets too turned around by it and im sorry you were hurt in stumbling across it:(

[d1mndnthr0ugh]

I just shaved for the first time and omg I feel so clean. I didn't realize how much I actually hated that hair until I got rid of it. I used to take selfies with a mask so I looked more femme but now I can almost look andro without it. It's crazy and I love it. :D

[phosphorusab]

A grown ass man lured a 14 year old girl out to a park at night, abused her, killed her, dismembered her and scattered her remains in public parks and rivers. Now if that girl was a cisgender girl, the general public would rightfully put the blame on the perpetrator for taking advantage of and murdering a minor.

But because Pauly Likens Jr was a transgender girl, the general public is going full trans panic defense, even though the perpetrator said they met on Grindr, if that was even true. Grindr doesn’t verify the age of its users and legally doesn’t have to due to Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which means half of sexually active queer adolescents will use this app and fall into the hands of predators.

https://www.wgbh.org/news/national/2021-07-12/unseen-part-3-popular-gay-dating-app-grindr-poses-exploitation-risk-to-minors

Grindr has been known to have a sexual exploitation of minors issue, and I just know that people are going to see that Pauly Likens Jr and her killer may have used this app to blame Pauly for her own demise.

It’s just like they did with Gwen Araujo in 2002 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by 4 grown ass men), Mercedes Williamson in 2015 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man) and Nikki Kuhnhausen in 2019 (a 17 year old trans girl killed by a grown ass man). You stop being an innocent kid who is capable of being victimized when you’re trans. You’re a threat to other kids your age or younger, and you’re a precocious sexual provocateur towards adults. This applies especially to transgender girls - complete dehumanization and transmisogyny.

This pattern of transgender teenage girls being taken advantage of by adults and killed is completely unacceptable, and society should start acting like it.

[puc-puggy]

@soaplantro i've been vascillating between just deleting all of your replies or attempting to have a good faith discussion. good faith discussion is possible if you stop attempting to bait me. so we'll see.

before we start, let's explore the idea that trans men and trans women actually do not have conflict with each other and that intracommunity conflicts between trans people are generated by external hostility. just play with me in the space where there is no oppressed group out to get or trying to hurt other oppressed groups, there are only oppressed people trying to survive a system hostile to their existence. sometimes that overwhelming hostility puts different vulnerable groups at odds with each other. this is not the oppressed group's fault.

this is what I mean by the environment pitting trans people against each other. trans women are not safe with people who believe they are predators and trans men are not safe with people who believe they are predators. because no one is safe with someone who believes them to be a predator, and trans people are incredibly vulnerable. why is it acceptable to put trans men in danger by assuming they're predators but not trans women? you say there that trans women are no strangers to being labeled predatory and seem to use this to dismiss the life-threatening danger a queer person is in when they are labeled a threat or predator rather than empathize with it and recognize the same dangers.

to be clear, I am not talking about terfs, i am talking about trans inclusive separatists still attempting to delineate a binary between Dangerous and Not Dangerous. separatism is, in essence, the idea that men are the enemy. terfs telling trans men that they're just women confused by misogyny are misgendering the men in question and cannot be argued to be allies. I am discussing the impact of "trans inclusive separatist feminists" (oxymoron) attempting to fit trans people into the separatist binary, which asserts that men are the enemy. when there is an enemy, who exactly is and isn't an enemy must be clearly labeled. the enemy these feminists are searching for are binary cis men and anyone polluted by binary cis manhood enough to be 'as dangerous as a man.' these are the feminists who pit trans people against each other by investigating trans people's genders and attempting to force them to fit in a cissexual binary.

there are multiple groups of these feminists, and which set of forcibly binarized trans people are labeled a predator is dependent on idiosyncratic belief systems, typically based on arguments of socialization. again, because while terfs manufactured this environment, the separatist rhetoric has bled outward. separatist feminists are attempting to maintain separatism with trans inclusion, which is an oxymoron. trans inclusion requires inclusion beyond the binary, which separatism is incapable of. yes to socialization means trans men good trans women bad because socialized as woman/socialized as man. if they say no, socialization is more complicated than that, it leads to trans men identify with oppressor therefore predator. this leads to trans women and trans men occupying separate communities, because neither is safe with groups that believe them to be predators.

this is not the fault of trans people. no trans person is doing this. no trans person is trying to undermine or harm the wellbeing of other trans people. the environment is hostile and demands different behaviors from trans people to maintain their safety. in a reply that I deleted (sorry but it wasn't good faith), you asked me about the lack of parity between trans men and trans women in my discussion. you seemed to believe that it was an uneven discussion, where you perceived trans men's rhetorical arguments as offensive and trans womens rhetorical arguments as defensive. so let's go back to the basic principle. you are not safe in a group that will label you a predator. no one is. are trans men safe when they're making arguments in favor of "female socialization"? or are they trying to avoid the danger of being labeled a predator, just like you. are trans men really out to get trans women or are both groups being attacked by outside forces, desperately trying to avoid being labeled a predator? why is it okay to label one group of oppressed people predators but not another?

no matter which way you slice it, investigating trans people to determine how close they are to the "bad" end of the binary is going to result in transphobic harassment. because the idea that men are the enemy is going to harm anyone who crosses gender boundaries and has spent time in "enemy territory."

as a final thought, transmisogyny is as useful as misogyny to explore trans womens' experiences. that is not however what we're seeing. because oh fuck. the separatism hit and reconstructed the gender binary. we're no longer talking about transmisogyny, description of the discrimination and intersections of oppression that trans women face. we're sorting everyone into tme(enemy)/tma(ally) and calling trans men misogynists for liberatory feminist conversation. that is the negative impact of separatism. that is a non-separatist theory shoved into a separatist discursive environment, and because separatism cannot support inclusion beyond the binary, we built two new boxes to sort people into again. there's still only two and they don't look any different from the old ones.

the transandrophobia discourse is poisoned by separatist feminist theory that terfs and radfems have been maliciously injecting into feminist conversations, so here's The Will To Change excerpts by bell hooks again.

libratory feminism sees no difference between men and women except those manufactured by patriarchy. misogyny is a symptom of patriarchy the system, not a structure by which to interpret patriarchy the system. replacing "sexism" with "misogyny" does not change the nature of the analysis, which is a weak one. patriarchy the system can induce the symptom of misogyny in any person subjected to that system. using sexism/misogyny/male chauvinism is not a useful lens of analysis when looking at patriarchy because women are misogynists too. let's not move backward on that. women are misogynists too and men are allies.

the recent "trans men are misogynists" allegations I've seen lodged against trans men are:

unprepared to be treated like a predator, may cry about it

asked that only trans men attend a trans mens' support group

discussed male loneliness instead of talking about violence against women

all of these are actually feminist discussions. so the backlash seems like angry feminist reactions to Men Having Feelings, which is not a new thing. in fact, hooks addresses it directly.

i see men being mocked for having their feelings hurt, men being mocked for wanting to discuss their feelings, and men being mocked because they're thinking about men and manhood in new and complex ways. exactly what the doctor ordered.

i am not seeing challenges to patriarchy here. I am seeing reinforcement of patriarchal expectations of masculinity on trans men who do not want to perform those expectations. i am seeing separatist radfem bullshit in the assumption that trans men have lost or never had a valuable perspective on misogyny or gender or sexism and cannot tell when the shape of discrimination they're facing has changed. i am seeing toxic separatist radfem bullshit shut down liberatory feminist discussion because one of the speakers is trans in the wrong direction.