#disclaimer this is my own experience and internalized transphobia theres nothing wrong w being visibly trans and i know
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as people learn more about transmasculinity im debating if itd make me more dysphoric to be a permanently clocky tboy to well-meaning libs who still view me as a woman regardless or to keep embodying my cissona
#i know clocky tboy seems like the lesser of the two evils but idk#theres something uniquely humiliating abt trying and failing to pass#at least when i dont try i cant lose#and im extremely short have fem hobbies and big ol girl eyes#and im almost 30 like its joever for me#i say āas ppl learn moreā bc now a lot of ppl will immediately think ātransā rather than āmisshapen gay manā#disclaimer this is my own experience and internalized transphobia theres nothing wrong w being visibly trans and i know#this is a supremely first world problem to have#wherein its psychologically possible to stay closeted but still have the option to transition w/o risking death#like ik i sound horrible so#delete later
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