#trans books 365

[traeumenvonbuechern]

Books By Trans Authors Of Color You Should Read - Part 2

My first post about this topic was pretty popular, so here's another (non-exhaustive) list of amazing books by trans authors of color you should read/pre-order!

Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia Lark & Kasim Start a Revolution by Kacen Callender Unwieldy Creatures by Addie Tsai Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás Keep Me Close by R.M. Virtues

Moonflower by Kacen Callender The Genesis of Misery by Neon Yang The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee With a Vengeance by Freydís Moon (I no longer recommend this author's books.)The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao Supporting Trans People of Colour by Sabah Choudrey Venom & Vow by Anna-Marie McLemore and Elliott McLemore Tell Me How It Ends by Quinton Li Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa Godly Heathens by H.E. Edgmon

[transbookoftheday]

🏳️‍⚧️📚 Trans Book Challenge 📚🏳️‍⚧️

Mission:

Read a minimum of one trans book per month for the entirety of 2024 in order to help form the habit of reading and supporting trans books and trans authors.

How it works:

Just read one trans book every month in 2024, and review it and/or talk about it!

Can't decide which books you want to read? Just open transbookoftheday.tumblr.com (on desktop) and click here:

If you're a fast reader, you're welcome to read more than one trans book per month!

Here are some optional prompts if you want to diversify your reading even more:

Read a trans book by an author of color.

Read a transfem book.

Read a transmasc book.

Read a nonbinary book.

Read a trans nonfiction book or memoir.

Read a trans poetry book.

Read a trans picture book or children's book.

Read a trans book with a disabled main character.

Read a trans short story, anthology, novella or graphic novel.

Read a book featuring a t4t relationship.

Read a trans retelling or a historical trans book.

Read a trans book in your favorite genre.

Happy trans reading! 🏳️‍⚧️📚

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[falling-mellow]

Found back a childhood bedtime stories book in a little free library today

And

(Translated from Dutch)

'Hm, I'm not affraid!

With a flop, papa Wigglenose closes 'The Big Handbook for Bunnies'. He had read aloud what bunnies could do in Wintertime to wipe out their trails in the snow. As always, he ends with the words "And watch out for Rosse!" (the fox)

Ten little bunnies already tremble just at the thought of the fox.

Only little Victoria says "Hm, I'm not affraid of Rosse!"

Victoria is a tough little rabbit girl. But they'd rather be a boy. When mama Wigglenose wants them to put on a dress, they'd grumble all day.

They'd rather wear jeans and sweathers.

And when mom isn't near, they tell their siblings "Please call me Victor!"

Victor said trans rights 🏳️‍⚧️✌️

[neonmetro]

Hey chat I'm sick and the day is definitely not going as well as I thought it would so. . .I ever so kindly beg for a Uly. . .

Honestly this guy needs an award because he is working a full time job in my head with no breaks !!!! Like this man can't even call out sick. . .it's so cute. . .the silly ever. Honestly I think this is going to be Ulysses appreciation because what makes someone feel more better than talking about some silly blorbos. . . NOTHING !!!

He's so pathetic and awful I love it. . .

*slams fist on table* GET ME ALL THE ULYSSES YOU HAVE !!!! STAT !!! /SILLY

-Ulysses loving anon

IT TRULY IS A 24/7 365 DAY JOB HAVING ULY IN YOUR BRAIN THAT GUY JUST INFESTS YOUR GOD FORSAKEN BRAINWORMS!!!!!!

he truly is just. absolutely tired and done with everything. life is just dull without Her, and without Her, he is noman.

i was actually talking about his gender w a friend semi recently and its really interesting part of him... most of his identity really does align with traditional masc expectations, wanting to protect those closest to him and be able to support a family and he's essentially just a trans straight guy but his relationships with sapphics is just different. he doesn't sees them as another facet to himself or a missing piece (even though literally everyone he was close to has died and its his fault he doesn't think he's less of a man gender wise he just doesn't think he's a human period (tho his it pronoun doesn't derive from this. to be clear))

ALSO. pivoting to his friendships. he, polites, and eurylochus have matching hair ribbons...

when polites dies, eurylo takes it while uly takes his out. he can't pretend he deserves it now after what he's done to polites, and eurylo is like "ah... i'll take it for safe keeping, if you ever think you want it again."

NOW. ONTO MINVERVA. IT GETS FUCKED.

the founding purposefully have kids and champions that aren't apart of the founding's bloodline just so they can later use their souls to fuel the palladium to keep their powers/immortality. and they Want contracts w other people so they'll be able to provide better powers/last longer. so having multiple champions, like in the case of minerva (ulysses and diomedes), isn't unusual, its just "efficient"

isn't it fucked that he was slated to be a pig sent to the slaughter and the only way to get out of that fate is to butcher his friend first. isn't that crazy (the friend being minerva or polites is up to audience interpretation)

his relationships with his kids are also really fucked.

telemachus obv is the closest with him and he actively tries to talk to him the most. but also his feelings on his dad are weird. on one hand he's PISSED at him for leaving him and his mom alone and making him suffer so much just because he wasn't there physically or emotionally causing so much repression. but on the other, if he doesn't loves uly, who will? he kind of feels an obligation as uly's oldest kid to set an example for the rest of them for how they should feel about their father.

because telegony (their name is actually telegony but i'll tag them as telegonus bc i don't want to tag that god forsaken book) absolutely DESPISES ulysses. joined enosichthon corp. out of spite. rose through the ranks. out of spite. intruded on a picnic w/ uly and telemachus. out of spite. they spent the absolute least amount of time with their father and it shows. they hate ulysses with all their guts and ulysses just accepts it which makes telegony even *angrier*.

nausinous spent a lot of their childhood with ulysses, so they have a sort of attachment to him... they don't hate them but they see how their half sibling reacts to him and wishes to just... not have him kill himself in front of everyone.

ANYWAYS THAT'S YOUR DESIGNATED ULY CONTENT !!!!! I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON BTW...!!! (ik this is late... hopefully you feel better soon tho ^^)

[robindrake93]

The Other Boy (100 words) by robindrake93 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Thalia Grace Characters: Nico di Angelo, Thalia Grace (Percy Jackson) Additional Tags: Drabble, POV Third Person, Trans Thalia Grace, First Crush, Love at First Sight, Book 3: The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Series: Part 323 of 365 PJO Drabble Challenge 2021 Summary: Nico falls in love with Thalia instead of Percy.

[ladycatryx]

In Defense of Harry Potter

If you or someone you love is a trans person in crisis: The Trevor Project‘s 24/7/365 Lifeline [US]: 866-488-7386 Trans Lifeline [US]: 877-565-8860 TrevorChat, (online instant messaging option) International Support: TrevorSpace

I minored in Gender Studies for both my Bachelor's and Master's. I have a bookshelf full of queer theory. I have several trans friends.

And I went to a Harry Potter themed party the other day.

Like many of my fellow 90s kids, I grew up reading Harry Potter. It was an era-defining feature of my adolescence, eagerly anticipating book releases and midnight movie theatre screenings. But unlike many of my peers, it is not merely a feature of my past. I still regularly read and write Harry Potter fanfiction. I have beautiful art books and unofficial compendiums chock-full of lore and behind-the-scenes details. I am a HP trivia wizard---or witch, as the case may be. I have so much investment into the lore and the world of Harry Potter, and I often find myself in Hogwarts and the surrounding Highlands in my dreams---even moreso now that Hogwarts Legacy has given us a first-person and 3D experience of the layout and landscape of the Wizarding World. So I relished the chance to don my Slytherin robes and get all dressed up in character. The pictures turned out great. But I couldn't post them on any of my social media. I have been told, in no uncertain terms, that anyone who continues to support or engage with the Harry Potter franchise is a TERF and a fascist. Full stop. To quote one of my friends, "I don't interact with Harry Potter media anymore. And frankly I treat any interest in it as a sign of transphobia for my own safety. So I really don't care to know much about the [Hogwarts Legacy] game aside from the disgusting blood libel it chose to use in it's narrative. It's a hard line for me as a trans person."

It's a controversial topic, to be sure. Now I absolutely hate cancel culture's tendency to drag something someone said 10 years ago into the spotlight and blow it out of proportion, even sometimes taking it out of its original context to spin it as a bad actor with bad intentions, and then to deny people the ability to apologize or acknowledge personal growth (see: what happened to Lindsay Ellis. Thanks, I hate it). But let's be clear: that's not the case here. JKR has only dug herself deeper into the hole, being belligerently and purposefully ignorant and cruel despite a PR team probably begging her to shut up, and despite an entire world of people who have attempted to teach her better. She has acted, and continues to act, in bad faith, even writing trans and queer-coded villains and serial killers into her latest books. This is not a person who has attempted to apologize and make right her wrongs when they've been pointed out. This is someone who has been given every opportunity to not be an awful person and instead has doubled down on her hurtful and hateful views.

So, now that we know JKR's true colors, clearly the entire world of Harry Potter is suspect, as is anyone who continues to enjoy it....right? Sure, maybe not everyone who still rocks their House Pride merch is a TERF, but, like the sandwich-eaters of Chick-fil-A who just need their chicken fix, they certainly can't be counted as allies....right?

I've struggled with this.

And maybe this entire blog post will be read as nothing more than a selfish person defending their right to enjoy a thing guilt-free in order to conveniently overlook or dismiss the harm they're doing by persisting in centering their nostalgia over the real-life danger JKR's views presents to trans people. You can be the judge of that, I suppose.

My impulse since all of this has been to lean into "death of the author," an argument that says, essentially, it is not authorial intent that matters for meaning, but the text itself that is authoritative. In theory, the text can speak for itself, and the way readers engage with it and interpret it can stand in isolation from whatever meaning was meant by the author. (For an excellent video on this subject, click here, and here for a JKR-specific one). But I'd like to expand on that here, because 1) as the links above point out, engaging with the work of a living author still empowers them and gives them a platform and 2) is usually just an emotional response to silo oneself from the guilt of consuming the content of a problematic creator. In other words, it's a cop-out.

But I'm a sociologist. I'm currently an ABD Ph.D. student. I specialize in theory, gender, religion, and culture---the latter is just an elaborate system of signs and symbols that we are embedded in and have to make meaning out of. And meaning-making is a messy business. Interpretation is a vital and integral part of meaning-making. Messages aren't just handed down from the heavens and absorbed---social actors are actively engaged in the process of receiving them. Sometimes there are interferences, misunderstandings, and mixed signals that scramble the meaning. Intent does not equal impact, and so the messages we receive and understand do not always correspond to the meaning that was meant. (Again, not saying JKR is misunderstood or that we're misreading her intentions here---she's pretty unequivocally awful. But I am saying that in a world where meaning is what we make it, a trash person can still produce something of value, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder.)

Sometimes reading a meaning other than that which was meant into something can have humorous consequences. Sometimes the results are disastrous. Sometimes it means that we humans, as pattern-seeking creatures, see the face of Jesus on a slice of toast, or a baby-shaped cloud in the sky the same week we find out a loved one is pregnant. I think the fact that we can make meaning where there is none and make beauty out of nothing is spectacular, miraculous. In this age of disenchantment, many people are looking for ways to reconnect and reenchant their lives, to create sacred rituals out of their mundane routines. We are meaning-seeking creatures, and with many people feeling burned by, disillusioned with, or distrustful of traditional religion, we are turning to nontraditional sources of wisdom and inspiration. For literal millions of people, the Harry Potter books have been one such source. And I think there is value to them still, despite what has come to light about their author.

In college, I was heavily involved in interfaith activism. I no longer identify as Christian, but I was raised Christian. And I started to feel the parallels from my own experience.

If a person has been hurt by a Christian, feels Christianity is toxic, identifies passages in the Bible that have been used to oppress or were the product of a time that was openly endorsing of slavery, homophobia, misogyny, etc...their experience is valid. They have a right to say "Hey, I was raised with this thing and at one point it meant a lot to me (or maybe not, maybe it was always forced) but it hurt me and I no longer feel comfortable there and I choose not to engage with Christianity anymore." They have a right to be wary if they hear someone is Christian and they don't know anything else about that person.

But no religion is a monolith. The Bible is not a monolith. For every passage that may be hurtful or harmful or be interpreted in bad faith to support a particular agenda, there are dozens more about love, kindness, and compassion. Religion has been the driving force behind so many wars and evils...but it has inspired countless good as well. The Bible has been wielded as a weapon to cause suffering as well as been looked to as a resource of hope and peace.

I'm not saying that cancelling someone for resonating deeply with the Harry Potter series and not wanting to give it up because of what it means to them is like asking someone to not be a Christian or to give up their faith so as not to offend others. Of course, the comparison seems flippant. Religion is religion! We give it special legal protections because of its literally sacred status. It concerns matters of ultimate importance. The other is...fiction.

But what is sacred is a social construction. I'm going to bracket here any discussion about the existence or nonexistence of deities, an afterlife, and etc. What does religion actually do for people? What does it mean in the lives of the faithful? It is a source of comfort. Of hope. Of inspiration. Of answers. It can be a moral guide, with lessons and instruction and a guide for how to live that others can model their own lives on.

Casper ter Kuile, cofounder of the podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, (check out their values statement if you want to know where they stand---spoiler alert, they're as progressive as it gets) would not find the comparison ridiculous. In fact, ter Kuile (who is, by the way, a gay man) founded the project with a fellow student while at Harvard Divinity School. In his book The Power of Ritual (2020) he talks about how the HP books have been a source of solace and inspiration and sacred reflection for him---and not just for him, but for thousands. Millions.

"Millions of readers already treated the Potter books as sacred in their own way. Therapists and counselors report young people using Hogwarts as their psychological safe space to go to in times of struggle and pain. And it isn't simply a refuge from the world. The Harry Potter Alliance, founded in 2005, has mobilized thousands around the country to act on marriage equality, fair-trade chocolate, and other progressive issues, using the narratives and rituals from the books to motivate and shape winning campaigns. Just as social justice movements have reinterpreted biblical narratives like the Exodus story and quoted the psalms, so too the Harry Potter Alliance references characters and plotlines from the wizarding world to motivate readers into action" (2020:44-45).

The HP books have helped people (and kids) cope with the loss of loved ones, understand privilege, learn that adults, authority figures, and even the government that makes the laws can lie and be corrupted and may not always have one's best interests at heart. That what is legal is not necessarily right or just. That evil doesn't just look like pale, snake-faced men who attempt to murder babies---sometimes it's enough for people in power to do nothing, to care more about maintaining their own relative privilege, power, and comfort. That often bullies lash out because they too have been hurt, and that hate can be easier to speak than love when it's all that you know...but that in the end, it is our choices that matter, not our abilities or the circumstances of our birth. The books have powerful messages, and they have nuance.

Take, for example, Petunia Dursley. As ter Kuile points out, universally disliked. But:

"As Vanessa and I reread that first chapter, we saw a young woman, unsupported in motherhood, suddenly given a second infant to care for after the death of her sister. Imposed on by a world she has always envied and feared, with no explanation, she feels vulnerable to a society that can only spell danger. No doubt, Petunia is abusive to Harry. She neglects him in the most foundational years of his life. But this sacred reading illustrated that narratives of good and evil nearly always are more complex when we risk our hearts to explore a sacred reading. It not only gave me a new lens for understanding a character, but it challenged me to realize I'd let the polarizing news narratives construct simplistic binaries of innocence and guilt" (2020:49).

The books aren't perfect. Even the messages JKR wrote into the books aren't all good, even if many are. Many people despise Dumbledore despite the twinkle in his eye and his many wise sayings for the way he used Harry like a pawn, like a tool---keeping him in the dark and just getting him to survive long enough to get him to die at the right time. By putting him in danger year after year, putting responsibility on his shoulders that no child should ever have to bear. For thinking that there would ever be an acceptable reason to leave him in the care of abusers, blood or no, magical love ward or no. And I love fanfiction because this messiness is explored and unpacked.

And yet, in canon, this jock who married his high school girlfriend and became a cop named his son after that guy and the incel who lusted after his mom man who tormented him and his schoolmates for years (I do love Snape as a literary character though, speaking of nuance...) instead of, oh, Remus, Rubeus, Arthur...y'know, any of the other men that were actually decent father figures to him in his life.

And yes, there are some heinous things in the book, like giving the Asian character the name Cho Chang and the Black man the name Shacklebolt. The antisemitism of the way goblins are portrayed: big-nosed, greedy, and money-hungry. And don't get me started on the fucking shofar. It has become trendy to shit on the books and other related IP, even to the point of ridiculousness. (Case in point: the uproar over the inclusion of a trans character in Hogwarts Legacy. And not from TERFs, but from the progressive community. At first I didn't understand---performative allyship? Surely her inclusion, and the ability to make trans characters in the character create, is better than the alternative, right? Apparently, it's her name that's the issue: Sirona Ryan. I had to actually look up why people were mad because again, I didn't get it. Evidently, people took issue with the "Sir" and the "Ryan," arguing that two such masculine-sounding elements on a trans woman's name was the equivalent of naming her "Penis McMan." Yes, really. Guess we better tell Serena Williams she's canceled too for perpetuating the "Black women athletes are too muscular and masculinized" stereotype). Anyway, it's been a dogpile lately to point out the plot holes and the poor world-building. And I admit, fanfiction authors often wield some amazing transformative alchemy, building on some of the half-assed parts of the lore and magic system and turning it into something far superior to what is canon. Nevertheless, it is reductive and revisionist history to portray the books as something other than the international bestsellers that they are. They are not the most amazing, brilliant things ever written, and yes, there are series out there that deserve the fame and attention and accolades that the Harry Potter series got. But nor are the HP books terrible derivative drivel that suddenly everyone wants to portray them as. In reality, they're a mixed bag.

What they undeniably are is important to people.

People read sacred texts because:

"the thousands of years in which generations have engaged these texts is something we need to pay attention to; and that we can step into a continuous stream of conversation between the text and human beings that has lasted centuries" (The Power of Ritual 2020:38).

There are nuggets of wisdom and timeless truths to be found, even in fiction. There is nostalgia for those of us who literally grew up with these characters, being of a similar age to Harry, Ron, and Hermione as we first read the books. The HP series is fairly unique in being both culturally relevant---a pop culture touchstone (I can't recall ever attending themed midnight release parties at a bookstore for any other series)---and possessing of longevity. The HP generation is passing the books along to their kids now. It connects generations in a way not many other franchises do. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are the only other ones that come to my mind at the moment.

JKR is a TERF (which is not a slur, incidentally). Unapologetic. An awful person, certainly.

But I've seen people call her evil.

We can debate the meaning of the term, certainly. Evil itself is not black and white---her own books taught me that. If someone is evil, can anything they produce contain some good? Or is it irreparably tainted? Can someone be evil and still donate millions of pounds to charities for the homeless and victims of domestic violence? Could an evil person be capable of writing such emotionally deep and nuanced characters?

I think we are all capable of great evil and great good. Again, I'm not advocating for forgiveness or redemption here---she's done nothing to earn such goodwill. I don't support her.

But I think there are ethical ways to continue to engage in and enjoy the franchise. Don't buy officially licensed merch---but the fan-made stuff on Etsy labeled "Red House" or "Magical School Badger House" I find fair game. Buy your copy of Hogwarts Legacy used, or borrow from a friend. (Personally, I'm pessimistic enough to think that there's nothing I personally can or can't do that will financially impact her in any meaningful way...throwing away all my HP merch and not buying the $7 Slytherin slipper socks at BoxLunch isn't going to make a dent. It's up to the major companies and corporations that have partnered with her in the past to license Harry Potter-themed merch to roll back their association, and for production studios and actors to refuse to associate with the franchise. That's what she'll notice and care about. But I digress.)

On a personal level, I find deep psychological satisfaction from identifying as a Slytherin. (I'm also that bitch who is way too into her MBTI archetype and knows her rising sign and other obscure details of her natal chart, so sue me.) Just the other day, I got into an argument with my partner, who accused me of employing leading questions to get information about his mental state and plans for the day---he prefers directness, I find subtlety to be much more polite. We speak different languages. That's not the point. The point is, he felt manipulated, and even though he knows me well enough to know it wasn't out of any malicious intent, it felt slimy to him. From my perspective, my approach comes from a history of emotional abuse from my father, who has Borderline Personality Disorder and a host of other mental illnesses I inherited (yay, trauma!) In other words, it's a survival tactic. (Self-preservation: also a Slytherin trait.) I had to learn to prioritize myself from a very young age to avoid being taken advantage of. To some, that may sound selfish. For me, it was survival. And the word "manipulation" gets a bad rap, but it literally means "to handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner." That isn't necessarily sinister or done with bad intentions. It's strategic. It's smart. It's what emotionally aware humans have evolved to do as social animals. We don't talk about manipulating tools as shady behavior. It's an asset, this ability.

Maybe that's my ambition speaking. But I wouldn't be where I am today---working hard to earn my Ph.D., having already earned a Master's Degree from a highly prestigious institution, having graduated summa cum laude with research honors at my previous university---without ambition. But I do understand that people distrust sly, slippery, cunning people. But Coyote is a culture hero, I don't abide by the maligning of snakes and serpents, and I'm a Prometheus/Lucifer apologist. People may not find their methods entirely honorable, but you can't argue with the results being for the greatest good. Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends. It all fits, and it's a label that allows me to understand myself and my motivations and priorities better.

If you've been hurt and betrayed by JKR and can no longer find solace in a world that was once a source of comfort for you, I grieve that with you. I understand, and I'm sorry. No one should be forced to engage with something they find tainted and harmful, and everyone must draw that line for themselves. But I think there are ethical ways to continue to enjoy and engage with a franchise that has been a source of joy and inspiration for so many, including those within the LGB+TGNC community. The text even lends itself to queer, subversive, progressive, and action-oriented readings, which is the sweetest form of reclaiming and empowerment, and which the queer community has a long history of---appropriating the hurtful and harmful and transforming it into something playful and prideful. Queer folx are the original alchemists.

It's an egregore now, especially the fanon version of the Wizarding World. It's the collective product of millions of people loving and investing in these characters and their world. It has taken on a life of its own, independent of its creator. And like Lucifer, like humankind, it can defy the will and designs of its master and break away. It's expanded beyond her. She may have built the framework of the house, but we grew up there. We furnished it. And we can return to move things around and play in it from time to time. Some of us never left. I won't give that up because I've been made to feel I have to.

Oh, and that Harry Potter themed party? It was held at a business that is an unofficial hub for the local queer community. A portion of the proceeds went to a local LGBTQ charity, and there were several trans people in attendance. And we all had a fabulous time.

[hungercityhellhound]

Welcome to the Madhouse.

Welcome to the Madhouse.

I’m a Omnisexual - Queer/ENBY Trans - Satanist and Animist - Zookeeper, Herpetologist, Science Educator, Agricultural Scientist and Conservation Biologist who is also a painter, guitar player, tattoo enthusiast, artisan, photographer and avid concert goer.

Things I love.....

Bands: David Bowie, Megadeth, Def Leppard, Billy Idol, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Behemoth, Immortal/Abbath, The Midnight Devils, Winger, Poison, Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Orion’s Reign, Crash Midnight, W.A.S.P., Cinderella, Guns n' Roses, Skid Row, Jackyl, Beethoven, Whitesnake, Lynch Mob, Enuff Z’Nuff, (You could just  feel free to join me on Spotify or I have this tag specifically for eventually sharing all of my favorite bands and this one for the 365 Days of Music Prompts, If you are looking for new music I have a whole tag #<500K for all the bands I love on Spotify with less than 500K monthly listeners, and I often share new music from artists I like.) -I have a love for bassists.

Movies: Hard to Be God, Escape From New York, Jurassic Park, Flashdance, LOTR/The Hobbit(Modern or the cartoon version), Solomon Kane, Wayne’s World, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Man Who Fell To Earth, The Original Star Wars Trilogy, Ray Harryhausen movies, The Warriors, Terminator 2, The Last Action Hero, ALL the Godzilla, Cat People, Dirty Dancing, Cool World, Mortal Kombat, They Live, Aliens(any of them), Indiana Jones Series, Hellraiser Series, Falling Down, The Man from Earth, Avatar

TV Shows: Fringe, Star Trek TOS/NG/VOY, Spartacus, Babylon 5, Falling Skies, Lucifer, Metalocalypse, The Hunger, Anything with Gordon Ramsey or Anthony Bourdain, The Joy of Painting, Nature, How It’s Made, Primeval, Dracula

Books: Milton’s Paradise Lost, Hard to Be God - by Arkady and Boris Stugatsky, Anything Attenborough, Anything by Crichton, All the Tolkien, 

Hobbies: House plants, gardening, watercolor painting, reading, hiking, rock climbing, horseback riding (even if I don’t get to often), reptiles and amphibians, nature photography, vinyl records, tattoos, fashion, guitar playing

Aesthetics: 80s Glam Rock/Hair Metal, Ziggy Stardust, 80s-90s Thrash Metal, Black Metal, Nature and Plants

I love asks so ask away. Feel free to talk and hang out here for a bit. 

[mywifeleftme]

15: Ô Paon // Fleuve

Fleuve Ô Paon 2015, Disques Ô Paon (Bandcamp)

Geneviève Castrée (Ô Paon) made her reputation as a cartoonist. Her 2012 memoir Susceptible was warmly reviewed in comics circles and, after her death at age 35, leading indie press Drawn & Quarterly published a lavish volume of her collected art. Though the cult of her work remains niche, it continues to grow thanks to the efforts of those who loved her (most notably her husband, Phil Elverum of The Microphones/Mount Eerie).

Though her music tends to be overshadowed by her comics, Castrée was also prolific as a musician. She used a variety of monikers, of which Ô Paon (trans. O Peacock) was the last and most frequent. She didn’t draw a line between the forms, releasing a number of combination books/albums including 2004’s Pamplemoussi (under her own name) and 2007’s Tout Seul dans la Foret en Plein Jour, Avez​-​Vous Peur? as Woelv. Hers was a stark, outsider sound, minimally arranged and rather amelodic. She sang in her native Québécois French in a high, almost piping voice. Accompanying herself on a clean, tensely picked electric guitar, Castrée planted herself at an intersection between drone, folk, and perhaps choral music, and rarely strayed from it.

Fleuve in particular evokes ice floating down a black river, windburned cheeks, a child singing quietly to herself after dark. It isn’t overtly sinister, but it is often unsettling in the same ways her comics could be—to whit, the sleeve illustration seems to depict a boyish child fleeing across a frozen body of water from a crack in which nine identical black-haired heads (resembling Castrée’s self-portraits) bob just above the surface. (This might be the place to note that Castrée was actually a long-time pen name, meaning “castrated.”) The lyrics are loose and imagistic. There are scenes of hitchhiking and car accidents on the barren highway between Montréal and Québec City; oblique evocations of violence and sexual awakening; moments of surreal political satire. It’s all juxtaposed with the elemental flow of water and the seasons, an endless return.

Fleuve is the most fully-realized recording in her catalogue, thanks to its excellent production and expanded instrumental palette. Castrée and collaborator Gus Franklin fill out her skeletal compositions with entrancing organ, mellotron and synth accents that move away from her bedroom roots into a more open world. Cellist Lori Goldston, a session ace known for her work with Nirvana and Earth among others, also drops in to lend her instrument’s solemn buzzing throat to the proceedings.

There’s little light to be found in the circumstances of her demise, but Castrée’s intense productivity leaves us with a considerable body of work—of which Fleuve should be considered an integral part.

15/365

[pointless-rants-and-opinions]

Something I find so odd about being a leftist is that nothing you do is ever good enough. There is no winning. There is no way to engage with the world around you without someone screaming at you for not doing enough. And yet, people have different opinions of which cause is demands all your energy 24/7/365.

For example, look at art or the media. Its not enough to call out bigotry. To be a good ally you must actively seek out diverse media regardless of actual sincere interest, making it purely for the sake of performance. But remember, you have to do this sincerely otherwise you’re just being performative which is bad.

See the problem? You’re not a leftist if you don’t go out of your way to listen to music by black artists or don’t read books written but transpeople. But it also doesn’t make you an ally if you do because you’re seen as inauthentic if you do it for political reasons. Your taste in films only matters if you sincerely enjoy and only watch those that are deemed okay. Supporting them isn’t enough.

But even outside of what you watch and read, we are still pulled in every direction at once. Climate change, war, trans rights, indigenous rights, black rights, immigration, classism, etc., etc. Activists of any of these will scream that their issue is the most important and that if you don’t devote all your energy to it then you’re a horrible person. But there are so many issues that no one person can focus on all of them. Even beyond that some people have exhausting and stressful jobs, limiting what free time they have. Some people have mental illnesses or disabilities that limit what they can do due to their own wellbeing. Yet, this is a secondary consideration to activists. Your wellbeing does not matter. Only their cause. They’d prefer to see you die or kill yourself than not help the way they want.

What this means is that often times being a leftist is exhausting. No matter what you do someone somewhere will hate you for not doing what they do. And its not like you can turn anywhere else without running into people who hate you for not being who they are.

Politics are alienating. There is no way to engage in politics, or even have any related beliefs or ideas, without someone who’s never met you hating you and wishing you dead. Its inescapable.

[traeumenvonbuechern]

[The ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]

CN: mental illness, trauma, (internalized) ableism, references to self-harm and suicide, graphic gore, body horror, violence (including murder and torture), off-page sexual violence (including experiences that involve children), abuse (including child abuse and off-page domestic violence), mentions of transphobia and racism (including references to slavery and genocide), animal death, vomit

“For anyone worried you might be the villain in your own story. Maybe you are. I think you deserve a happy ending, anyway.”

Oh. My. Gods. This. Book.

I knew from the first page that this was going to be a five star read, but I never expected that I would love it this much.

“The Witch King” used to be my all-time favorite book, and I still absolutely adore it, but “Godly Heathens” is on another level. I already know I’m going to reread this book at least once before it comes out in November, and many, many times after that.

If you’re looking for a book with…

villainous main characters

reincarnated old gods

a t4t4t non-monogamous love triangle

a trans- and Native-majority cast

amazing mental illness representation

… then “Godly Heathens” might be the perfect book for you. It’s definitely the perfect book for me, and I will probably try to force everyone I know to read it as soon as it comes out.

I’m trying so hard to write a review that does this book justice, but I literally have no coherent thoughts right now, so please just trust me when I say that this book is absolutely incredible.

Please pre-order “Godly Heathens” or request it at your local library if you can!

[cookingfoodsblog]

Thanksgiving Quesadilla

Prep: 10 minutes Cook: 15 Serves - 2

This Thanksgiving, use your leftovers to make a Thanksgiving Quesadilla! We all need some ideas to use up the extra food from the big feast, and this turkey quesadilla is the solution. Skip the sandwich and use this Thanksgiving leftover recipe instead!

What’s in a Turkey Quesadilla?

We make so much food for the big feast, and we end up with soooo many leftovers. They crowd the fridge and call out to you for days, begging to be eaten. This is the perfect way to use up all that turkey and also have something really fun to eat that doesn’t make you feel like you’re eating leftovers.

Whole Wheat Tortillas: Make this dish feel a little healthier without compromising the taste.

Thanksgiving Turkey: You thought you planned out your feast perfectly, but somehow you still have pounds of the stuff in the fridge. Might as well put it to good use!

Cranberry Sauce: Adds a bit of a zippy, tangy flavor to the quesadillas that cuts through the cheese.

Shredded Cheese: I used cheddar, Asiago, and pepper jack in mine and it was *chef’s kiss* — feel free to use your favorites, though!

Fresh Sage: Adds a pop of freshness and herbal flavor that ties everything together!

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5 Ingredients

4 whole wheat tortillas

2 cups Thanksgiving turkey chopped into small pieces

½ cup cranberry sauce

2 cup shredded cheese I used cheddar, Asiago, and pepper jack!

¼ cup chopped fresh sage

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Instructions

Step 01

Spray a large skillet with olive oil and heat over medium heat.

Step 02

Place the first wrap in the bottom of the skillet and top with ¼ cup cheese, ½ cup turkey, ¼ cup cranberry sauce, ⅛ cup sage, another ¼ cup cheese, and the second wrap. Grill for about 5 minutes on each side, or until melty and delicious.

Step 03

Take off the heat and cut into quarters to serve. Repeat with other ingredients to make a second quesadilla.

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Becky’s tips

Flipping the tortilla can be a little tricky. To avoid spills, use a spatula to slide the quesadilla onto a small plate. Cover with another plate; flip; remove the top plate and slide it all back into the skillet.

Don’t overload the wraps with food. Pay attention to the quantities listed in the recipe to avoid soggy, leaking quesadillas.

The sage leaves can be chopped to spread the flavor throughout. You can also use dried sage.

If you’re repurposing cheese from Thanksgiving appetizers, you can use thinly sliced or cubed cheese in the quesadillas– no need to shred it.

Storage: Store Thanksgiving quesadillas in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months.

Nutrition Information

Serving: 1quesadilla Calories: 872kcal (44%) Carbohydrates: 76g (25%) Protein: 65g (130%) Fat: 34g (52%) Saturated Fat: 17g (106%) Polyunsaturated Fat: 1g Monounsaturated Fat: 8g Trans Fat: 0.01g Cholesterol: 182mg (61%) Sodium: 1443mg (63%) Potassium: 441mg (13%) Fiber: 7g (29%) Sugar: 28g (31%) Vitamin A: 829IU (17%) Vitamin C: 1mg (1%) Calcium: 757mg (76%) Iron: 4mg (22%)

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500 Low-Carb Recipes 500 Recipes, from Snacks to Dessert, That the Whole Family Will Love

.................Keep Reading.................

[thekotaroo]

Profiles of Pride: June 25th! 🏳️‍🌈Dylan Mulvaney🏳️‍🌈

Dylan Mulvaney (born December 29, 1996) is an American actress, comedian, and TikTok personality. Mulvaney is known for detailing her gender transition in daily videos on TikTok since early 2022. In October 2022, Mulvaney spoke with U.S. President Joe Biden at the White House about transgender rights.

As of April 2023, Mulvaney has more than 10 million followers on TikTok, while her video series, Days of Girlhood, has received over one billion views. She graduated from the University of Cincinnati's College-Conservatory of Music in 2019 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in musical theater.

Mulvaney came out as a trans woman during the COVID-19 pandemic, while living with her "very conservative family" at her childhood home in San Diego. She began to document her gender transition in a daily series of videos published on TikTok titled "Days of Girlhood" in March 2022, and her videos began to gain in popularity. She said in an interview:

“When the pandemic hit, I was doing the Broadway musical Book of Mormon. I found myself jobless and without the creative means to do what I loved. I downloaded TikTok, assuming it was a kids' app. Once I came out as a woman, I made this "day one of being a girl" comedic video. And it blew up. I really don't know another place online like TikTok that can make a creator grow at the rate that it does. Some of these other apps really celebrate perfection and over-editing and flawlessness. I think with TikTok specifically, people love the rawness. They love people just talking to the camera. I try to approach every video like a FaceTime with a friend.”

In October 2022, Mulvaney appeared with genderfluid hairstylist David Lopez in a podcast for the cosmetics brand Ulta Beauty, during which she spoke about her childhood, her coming out as transgender, and her transition. The video led to the appearance of the hashtag #BoycottUlta in Twitter's trending topics section, and Mulvaney was targeted with transphobic comments.

Later that October, Mulvaney met with President Joe Biden for a presidential forum organized by the online news outlet NowThis News. When asked by Mulvaney about recent legislation restricting gender-affirming care for transgender youth by Republican-led legislatures, Biden called it "outrageous" and "immoral."

According to NBC News, after meeting with Biden, Mulvaney became the target of a "vitriol campaign" by right-wing activists. Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn shared a tweet in which she attached a TikTok video created by Mulvaney and said "Dylan Mulvaney, Joe Biden, and radical left-wing lunatics want to make this absurdity normal". Conservative media personality Caitlyn Jenner, who is also a transgender woman, wrote on Twitter that she agreed with Blackburn's remarks and called Mulvaney's video an absurdity.

Several days later, Mulvaney posted a reply video to Jenner on TikTok for Day 233 of her Days of Girlhood series, with a written message: "To my followers, please do not send her any hate." In the video, Mulvaney directly addressed being misgendered by Jenner and Jenner's comments about her body, as well as what Mulvaney had learned from the experience.

In December 2022, Mulvaney confirmed on Instagram that she had undertaken facial feminization surgery. She posted an image of her face on Instagram on January 27, and made her debut on the red carpet at the 65th Annual Grammy Awards on February 5, 2023. In late February, she accepted a Queerties Groundbreaker Award in Hollywood.

Mulvaney hosted a livestreamed variety show at the Rainbow Room in Midtown Manhattan on March 13, 2023, to celebrate the first anniversary of her TikTok video series Days of Girlhood, entitled Dylan Mulvaney's Day 365 Live!, with L Morgan Lee and Reneé Rapp as guest stars. An appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show that day in which Mulvaney spoke with Barrymore about "dealing with online hate" resulted in an "onslaught of online hate" directed at Barrymore, according to the Los Angeles Times. On Instagram, Mulvaney shared a letter from vice president Kamala Harris congratulating her for the first anniversary of her transition.

On April 1, 2023, Mulvaney promoted the beer brand Bud Light in an Instagram video commemorating March Madness, a college basketball tournament held by the NCAA. According to The Washington Post, the advertisement led figures in right-wing media, such as Fox News, to refer to Mulvaney in "disparaging and often in transphobic terms nearly a dozen times over the next three days". The sponsorship led to calls for a boycott of Bud Light from conservatives. In response to the sponsorship, singer Kid Rock filmed himself shooting several Bud Light cases with a MP5 submachine gun in a protest video. Several Budweiser factories also received bomb threats in response. Mulvaney also promoted a Nike sports bra in a sponsored post on Instagram in April 2023, and in response, Olympic swimmer Sharron Davies called for a Nike boycott. This was shortly thereafter followed by backlash and calls for a boycott against makeup company Maybelline after Mulvaney posted a short video of herself applying the company's products. In response to the events, Mulvaney stated: "What I'm struggling to understand is the need to dehumanize and to be cruel. I just don't think that's right. Dehumanization has never fixed anything in history ever."

[transanimegirltoes]

I have never participated in r/196 in my life, but ill do my best! 1. Uuuh.. Sock. Sock is a good name. Toes? Sock.. Anime. Uh. Wheatley. Wheatley is a good name. 2. anything, transfem 3. Uuuh.. Bi? Bi..c pen? I dunno, I experience a lot of things and Im not sure what it falls under. 4. What are you, a cop? 5. Does Imaginos have a fandom? I mean, Blue Oyster Cult does, but specifically the work known as The Soft Doctrines Of Imaginos. Then prooobably NGE, Sonic, the whole sorta furby/gigapet/mechanical animatronic whatever pet, and Transformers, of course. 6. I want to just shove an entire furby in my mouth and have its cries echo out my face holes like that one episode of spongebob where he finds the giant eldritch statues of himself and becomes violently depressed and nigh-suicidal. 7. Uuuh.. Ladybug, probably? Id pet a ladybug if it were like, cat sized. 8. I once cost my entire school a scholarship as a child by violently jeering and mocking the visiting deans sports team, and then kicking him in the nuts. Not proud of it. 9. Blue tastes like blue. But more specifically, like.. Thick Blue Gatorade. A sludge, almost. 10. I saw the face of god in a dream, and I woke up crying. 11. I once tried to download Imgburn and gave my poor Compy a horrid piece of rogueware that killed it, 365 days from when it was installed. Literally had a kill timer and everything. Also, I once threw a bowling ball into a crowded group of people as a child, and broke somebodies hand. 12. One of my childhood friends constantly flaunted his "wealth", claiming he lived in a mansion and had maids and everything. When pressed on this, he ended up showing up at school with fifteen fat stacks of monopoly money. And hey, honestly, if he can afford that many boards, hes probably rich. Also, he tried to stab me in a church bathroom six years later, because I pointed out his sharpied-on moustache. That was also pretty stupid. 13. Blue Oyster Cult, by Blue Oyster Cult. I suppose "Subhuman" would be the more popular version of the song, but it goes too fast for my liking. I prefer the almost operatic, somber rendition from the Imaginos album. Go check out all of Imaginos honestly, its utterly fantastic, just make sure you get a proper listening order for it. 14. Honestly, not really? I just thought it would be funny to make something that would totally not fly on Reddit. 15. Game Tester! 16. Please resurrect Richard Williams from the dead so I may serve under him as an apprentice/worship him. Barring that, something in the field of animation. 17. I like it, I think! I dont know if Ive ever had anything with it in, but Im sure Id like it if I tried it! 18. A bowling alley that no longer exists for the crime of ball throwing, a church for being too loud as a child, a school for accidentally inciting a riot and involving the cops, a comic book store for asking for help, another school for headbutting a teacher, and a museum for putting my mouth on an ocarina in the gift shop. 19. i used to combine all the fruit drinks in a hotel breakfast nook until it was pitch black and chug it like vodka. Tasted great, by the way. 20. trans rights @angenericaccount @the-blueberry-sage @a-shard-of-ace @phantomband

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

GOD i cant stop thinking about how weird it is that twilight was inspired by MCR which was inspired by 911. when everyone else was caught up in this aggressve patriotism as a form of defense and an excuse for violent bigotry, mcr said lets make something beautiful. lets make something that will let us heal. and then twilight and harry potter used to have this whole fandom feud, but ended up almost being two sides of the same coin. both deeply terrible and written by bigoted white women who either did nothing to amend for the damage her respective writing did, or actively tried to make it worse. and how they ended up sort of being married together by the creation of My Immortal, which is arguably a twilightified fanfic of harry potter, written by someone that absolutely worshipped gerard way. and how mcr was asked to make a song for the twilight soundtrack to which they said fuck you and instead made Vampire Money, a song about what itd be like if they succumed to capitalist greed and devalued their art by leaning into the edgy aesthetic beyond the end of its shelf life and whored out their emotions for profit. and then they broke up because it really Was killing them. and now theyre back. and then the WWWYf tour happened. and That happened. they turned it into an opportunity to make a giant fuck you to that selfsame concept, dressing up as a parody of what theyd have become if theyd done what the public wanted of them, if theyd stayed closeted and suicidal and become consumed by the addiction of selling that pain for profit. a point underlined by the contrast with how theyve been presenting themselves the past 3 months on their real tour, specifically gerard, and how specifically BECAUSE they took a hiatus, BECAUSE they didnt give into greed for more vampire money and didnt destroy themselves, they are alive today in order to be onstage now in front of us. awake and unafraid. a giant celebration of trans joy and affirmation and acknowledgement and love between them and us, their fans, specifically their trans fans. how they finished the WWWYf show with Vampire Money and no one in that crowd got it because no one in that crowd Would get it, and that perfectly crystalized their absolutely scathing point. and then on their real tour they made the more blatant but less serious reference by wearing a twilight shirt and talking about robert pattinson, just goofing off and having fun being gay, bc with us they finally can. and in the meantime, jk rowling has written a self insert cringe comp book longer than the fucking bible trying desparately to cling to relevancy and make herself out to be the victim in her own transphobia, desparately whoring out her bigotry for profit. and the fact that 50 shades of gray is just a twilight fanfic that caused 365 Days to get written and also kind of caused the normalization of fanfic getting turned into actual monetized netflix level media. but ofc its only okay when its cishet. the smut turned netflix series exuality is only acceptable when its straight. and its all toxic af!!! but somehow its fine that THATS plastered on every billboard!!! but the original queer people it was inspired by were shunned and shamed and now that theyre back from the dead, everyones trying to capitalize on their return. and they said go fuck yourselves!!!! and meanwhile the same type of people who hate us and them ARE succumbing to that greed, and theyre fucking floundering!!! just.i just. i. uGHGGGGGG

[semper-legens]

122. The House on Half Moon Street, by Alex Reeve

Owned?: No, library Page count: 365 My summary: Leo Stanhope is a hospital porter, and reasonably content with the life he has built. But when the body of his lover is wheeled into his hospital, Leo is forced to confront some painful truths. On the trail of the murderer, doubting everything about his relationship with the lovely Maria, Leo must be careful...or else. The secret he holds is enough to destroy him. Will he find the murderer, before suffering the same fate as his love? My rating: 2/5 My commentary:

Okay. So. Here’s the thing. I was looking up books with trans characters for work, and this one came up as something that intrigued me. A book set in Victorian London, featuring a trans man as a main character solving a murder. Well, I like trans stuff, and I like Victoriana. Not really a thriller/crime/mystery genre fan, but when there are other things in a narrative that can hold interest for me, that’s not much of a dealbreaker. But, hoo boy. The writer is a cis man, and apparently did not talk to a trans person during the writing of this novel.

(Warning for rape and transphobia under the cut.)

I tried to hard to be fair to this, going in. Leo is a trans man, and wears a makeshift binder he refers to as a cilice, which is a religious garment like a hair shirt worn under the shirt as a sign of penance. Alright, fair, I know I had some derogatory nicknames for my binder back when I wore one, it’s reasonable that someone who needs to wear one might ironically refer to it as that, though the associations of the word are iffy. But Reeve doesn’t seem to know anything about the practicalities of binding. Leo complains that it hurts when the binding chafes his skin (something I’ve never experienced but tbf I used to wear a proper binder not a makeshift one) but there’s no reference to back/rib pain or shortage of breath, despite that being the most common source of binding pain. He sews cloth into his trousers as a packer, that seems fair, but there’s no mention of vocally passing, which is odd.

But then there’s just random transphobia. Leo early on mentions a trans woman he met but misgenders her at every turn, despite the fact that he of all people should know not to do that. And Leo experiences some particularly troubling events. Because of Shenanigans, he’s got to disguise himself as his former identity as a woman, and ends up flirting with a man - this could have been interesting, but at that point I had lost any and all faith in Reeve as a writer to depict this sensitively, and it just ended up incredibly uncomfortable. Later, Leo is imprisoned with a woman, the woman is threatened with rape, and Leo offers himself up in her place, revealing his trans identity. This...just felt gratuitous, and incredibly unpleasant. I don’t think Reeve would have had this happen to a cis male protagonist. The outcome of that scene could have occurred without Leo being raped. More troubling is that, afterwards, he starts to question his identity based on that traumatic experience, parts of which seem incredibly bio-essentialist.

As for the mystery itself...eh? Leo makes some strange assumptions at various points, which really damages his credibility in my eyes. I don’t know, I never really engaged with it that much. Part of it is based on the victim, a sex worker, having lied to a lot of people about her past, and the question of whether she really loved Leo. Like, yeah, she told multiple people she loved them deeply, that’s part of the job. I don’t know, maybe all the trans stuff just overshadowed it, but I was deeply, deeply disappointed by this one.

Next up, a strange affliction is sweeping the land, as one by one teenagers begin to fall asleep...