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onisiondrama · 4 years ago

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Onision: IRL EP: 2 - Onision’s Response videos summary Part 2

“Onision Debunks Adrienne Mention in Discovery+ Documentary Using Her Apology Letter & Last Contact” (3 of 8)

Starts with a clip from the documentary. Shiloh says she found out James was dating a girl. They show a clip from the video “I Found Her” where James announces to his audience he is dating Adrienne. Text on screen says “Adrienne has lived in fear of Greg ever since she had a brief relationship with him when she was 26.” James says that’s not true. He shows the email she sent him in 2012 after he and Shiloh broke up for the last time. He points out she says she owes him an apology, she compares her exes who cheated to Shiloh, she sympathizes with him and says his feelings are valid, she admits he broke up with her, he points out she apologized multiple times in the email, she says they wronged each other equally in the relationship, she blames her treatment of him on being broken, she says she had no malicious intent, she wishes him well.

I knew this one was coming. He’s been using this email against Adrienne for years. I’ll reply a little further down.

He also shows an email from Shiloh sent months after they broke up (July 2012) saying she is really proud of him and his video quality. He says they haven't interacted since.

Again, there were years where Shiloh was trying to be civil toward James. She wouldn’t speak negatively about him online. He was the aggressor online and would being her up constantly in videos to bash her.

He reads his reply to Adrienne, saying he could have acted more maturely. She replies and says she’s moving to Seattle. James asks if she was in fear of him, why was she telling him she was moving to Seattle? He points out she said he was a good person in her reply. He says that was the last time they had a conversation, so she would have not have any more interactions to change her opinion of him. She gives him her phone number and offers her friendship in the email. He says Discovery + is once again publishing a lie.

Ok so, James and Adrienne only dated for three weeks, but he relentlessly attacked her online for months after it ended. On social media, in videos. After their short email exchange, James uploads a video titled “Onision- TOTAL VICTORY” where he makes similar points to above and concludes he was the good one in the relationship. Adrienne replied to this video on social media. This is the part James always leaves out. She says she sent that email in an attempt to get him to stop talking about her online and she regretted sending the email because of the way he distorts it. She also points out he was the one who begged her back after they broke up, so she was the one who rejected him. She went over almost all of his points, so you can read her full reply here.

I believe that was the last thing Adrienne ever said online about James. I believe her claim that she has been living in fear of him. He attacked her viciously online.

He asks if they are trying to frame him as someone who goes after people who are young, why do they include someone who was 26? He says their story doesn’t add up.

Why does James call his father a pedophile if he is married to a full grown women? That logic is so dumb.

Besides, the relationships he started with women in their 20′s is nothing to brag about. The longest one was Adrienne and that only lasted 3 weeks with break-ups in-between. The other was one week and the last was like a day or two. They were all utter and complete trainwrecks.

“Ex Admits She Was Always An Anti-O & Shiloh Gets Caught Lying on Onision Documentary” (4 of 8)

A narrator reads a portion of Adrienne’s leaked email about her relationship with James. Adrienne says she watched James’ relationship drama with Shiloh online and realized she “had a crush on this person who I absolutely loved to hate.” James says she admitted to hating him. He says it’s psychotic to date someone you hate.

Ahhhh. For years James would say Adrienne admitted on his forums that she was a hater / anti-o before they dated. I had no idea what he was talking about and he never showed proof. This must have been where that came from. It never clicked for me because whenever I read her email, I always read it as she like to hate watch Shiloh and James. Not that she was like enraged by him or was actively a “hater.”

I could totally see how someone in that time period could have started off as a hate watcher but then sympathize with him and develop a crush on him. At that point, the only public relationships he had were with Skye and Shiloh. Skye had not come out and said anything negative about him and Shiloh had gone back to Canada after her mental breakdown. We didn’t even know for sure if James divorced Skye for Shiloh at this point because we didn’t have solid dates for anything yet.

It was apparent there was something off about James, but there was not a lot of evidence that he was abusive at this point. Most people assumed the memory loss video and the mental breakdown video were faked by Shiloh and James for views. If they were real, it seemed as if Shiloh was severely mentally ill and they were caught up in an incredibly toxic relationship. At that time, James used to upload a lot of extremely manipulative sad and crying videos. He came off as someone who yes- overshared, had a big ego, and was unhealthy in relationships, but at the core he came off as a hopeless romantic. I think this is also what attracted Kai to James during this time as well.

The narrator continues reading Adrienne’s email. Adrienne says James made asinine statements like if you really loved someone, you would give up everything to be with them. James asks how is that as asinine statement? He says she’s making fun of him for being a loving person. Adrienne says she put down her bag and he instantaneously started making out with her. She says he did not rape her. James says it’s nice she said there was no crime.

Chris Hansen says Adrienne decided James was too crazy and maniacal to deal with. James says he’s the one who broke up with her. He says he’s confused and they should get their facts straight.

James broke up with Adrienne, but then he begged her back. She’s the one that rejected him. Adrienne even had the voicemails to prove it.

Shiloh says she slipped back into a relationship. James says she didn’t mention she faked a pregnancy to come back. Shiloh says she went back because she felt like she had some issues to work out and she needed to become a better person. James puts this on screen:

Shiloh says she felt very jealous of the other girl he was with. James laughs and asks if they are talking these people seriously? He sarcastically says, he’s so abusive so I want to get back with him because I was jealous of the girl he was with. Shiloh says she felt the need to reclaim her ground. James says i.e. her territory, her control over his life. “and they say I’m the controlling one.”

Shiloh says he bought her a ticket back to Seattle. James uses an email to prove he actually flew her to L.A. He says she was full grown adult who lied about her pregnancy to get back with him. He shows one of the emails she sent him to try to get him back. In the email, she says she was living on the streets and was raped. She begs for his help and promises to never get in his way and to give him all the money she had. She says she would never let him live on the streets. James says he called her to see if she was okay and it turned out she was lying about that too.

Shiloh says she was overwhelmed with the fantasy feelings of having a ring on her finger. James says this is after she threatened to destroy his life. He says after that video, she agreed to get engaged to him. He show images from one of the last videos they made together and sarcastically says “that’s us not having fun together.”

They show a clip from “The Truth Hurts, But So Do Your Lies.” In the clip, James says Shiloh was allegedly pregnant with their child. He tells her to let people know the truth. He says he doesn’t want this to somehow end with her being the good person in all this. Modern day James says they don’t include that she was accused of sleeping with someone before she flew out to be with him again. He says the timing of the pregnancy was off so he didn’t know for sure if the baby was his. He says when the doula said she was pregnant, she was only back for 5 or 6 weeks tops.

He googles Rogue and reads it was the made up child of Shiloh and Greg’s. He said the fetus was real, but the photo was not. He says once again Discovery + including things out of context.

He’s mixing up the events. The photo was uploaded to Shiloh’s Facebook before they found out they were pregnant. It’s believed Shiloh uploaded it because she did not want to admit to the internet she made up a pregnancy in order to manipulate James into getting back together with her. Their real pregnancy and miscarriage happened after.

#queue

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jq37 · 5 years ago

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The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 9

Bad Kids Family Reunion

Can you believe we’re on our last episode for the year? I feel like we just started! We may not have another episode until January, but we left off on a doozy this week so let’s get going. This ep is basically split into two parts: The bulk of the Bad Kids in the Land of the Lomenelda and Adaine in Catheldriel Tower. In the ep, we go back and forth a little, but I’ll just summarize each part separately to keep things simple.

Lomenelda Family Reunion

As you probably remember, last week the group decided to teleport to the Land of the Lomenelda because Catheldriel Tower was too secure to get into directly and because The LotL is both close by to the Tower but also the ancestral home of Fabian’s mother’s side of the family.

Once they arrive, they see it’s basically the most stereotypical elven forest ever. Pristine woods, beautiful animals, haunting music. Fig puts a clove cigarette on the ground as an offering to a deer that she thinks might be her creature (which she still hasn’t paid for as far as I know) which brings out an elf named Telemien to tell her to stop littering. Telemien is very Elrond-esque and he has all the classic elven traits--long-winded, breathy speech, weirdly inflected words, turning into sand to be dramatic. He also happens to be Fabian’s grand-dad.

Gilear rolls very well on his diplomacy check and, combined with the fact that they’ve brought family, the group in welcomed into the forest with open arms. Fabian fills his grand-dad in on why they’re in his neck of the woods and Telemien informs him that the Abernant family has been disgraced, Adaine’s mom was found guilty of treason (though he doesn’t know the exact crime) and fled, and their land has been seized by the Court of Stars. While the Lomenelda are generally apolitical, Telemien doesn’t have a problem saying that he has a low opinion of the Abernant family and Anguin especially is an amoral, power-grabbing, sonuvabitch.

Riz, who is shouldering the entire responsibility of keeping the Bad Kids on task since Adaine is currently locked up, rolls to see if anything weird is going on in the forest and we learn that the Lomenelda basically just drug their teenagers with magic grapes and sad music to keep them chill and not horned up (something he finds iffy until a day of herding his friends towards a very time sensitive rescue mission at which point he’s like maybe this guy is on to something). Still, Riz warns the group against eating anything, which is always a good rule of thumb when you’re dealing with fae-adjacent nonsense (and Kristen does ping faint fey/celestial energy when she casts a Detect Evil and Good).

Fig and Riz are willing to leave for their rescue mission pretty much right away but the group decides to get a full night’s sleep first so they can regain spell slots and stuff. Ragh goes to flirt with some elf teenagers and Tracker reminds Kristen that they need to have a chat vis a vis Garthy and Sandra-Lynn. So, four episodes after the fact, Kristen finally tells Tracker that Sandra-Lynn hooked up with Garthy but she does it in such a blase and offhanded way that I assume was an attempt to sell it as not a big deal to Tracker to prevent a trip to the doghouse. It’s not the strategy I would have suggested and clearly the dice agree with me because she hits double Nat 1s on her persuasion roll. Tracker gives her another shot to give the real reason why she kept the info from her (besides “I didn’t wanna tell a lot of people,” which is such weaksauce). Kristen says that “so much was happening” and just Tracker stalks off.

Fig, having seen Tracker leave in a huff, asks what just went down and Kristen tells her. Fig takes Kristen’s side and is appreciative that Kristen was willing to let her mom’s business be her own business. Kristen decides to give Sandra-Lynn a heads up that Tracker knows what she did. Sandra-Lynn is distraught enough about the situation that she makes the mistake of briefly giving Kristen whisky before wising up and sending her to the Van, sans alcohol.

Fig talks to Gilear who, if you remember, also noticed that something was up with Sandra-Lynn and Garthy. Fig doesn’t give details but basically confirms it and says that at least he can take solace in the fact that him getting cheated on was probably more on her than because of anything he did. Gilear responds by telling Fig a little about Sandra-Lynn’s short-lived adventuring career: Apparently, Sandra-Lynn was a rising star in the adventuring world back when she went to Aguefort but her career was thrown off the rails when she joined a party as a replacement and ended up romantically involved with one member of a couple. The couple was very powerful and the one she was with didn’t treat her very well. Eventually, she was kicked out of the party and her name was smeared by the couple. After that, she couldn’t really find another party to join which is why she works for the Ranger Corp now. Gilear knows who the couple in question is but declines to tell Fig.

And the Kristen/Tracker trainwreck continues. Kristen gathers flowers for Tracker and finds her sulking in wolf form. Kristen did a decent job on the flower picking but whiffs her persuasion roll with another Nat 1! Tracker says that Kristen is always going off about being introspective and doing the right thing, but sitting on this, paralyzed with inaction was just as much of a wrong choice as taking an action and, also, it just plain sucked. Kristen kind of tries to “yes, dear” her way through the lecture but then gives Tracker the flowers in such a way that implies that eventually Tracker will get over it which Tracker does not care for at all. She stalks off for a second time.

Fig decides to tell Telemien that Gilear is dating Hilariel (his daughter) and they leave to take a walk and talk about poetry. Gorgug (who is very exhausted by all of the elven nonsense going on) goes to the Van and asks Ayda if she can cast Sending for him to Zelda. After accosting him (you can take the girl out of the pirate city and so on I guess) she says she’ll do it for 150 gold. The message essentially says, “Hey. We’re safe. Sorry about screwing up. I’m working on it. Miss you.” He rolls Persuasion with disadvantage and a 12 gets him left on read all night.

Tracker has cast the Moon Haven spell and everyone (except Gilear) piles into the Van. Kristen, who’s sleeping alone tonight for obvious reasons, walks into Ragh’s room and sees that he has brought a high elf teenager. She quickly leaves to give him privacy and then decides to take Adaine’s room for the night. While she’s awake, she notices that Gorgug is still awake too. He says he messaged Zelda and he hasn’t gotten a reply yet. Maybe it’s a time zone thing? Kristen is pretty sure it isn’t a time zone thing. Gorgug also notices that Kristen came out of Adaine’s room and not Tracker’s. They hug it out over both being in the doghouse with their respective partners.

Fabian, who had previously failed his Con save with an 8, gets to re-roll because of the super fine, elven forged, 800 thread count sheets he brought into the Moon Haven (that Riz refused because it seemed inappropriate while Adaine was in jail) and he got a modded 20, finally getting over his levels of Exhaustion. Our boy isn’t back to his old self but he’s getting there.

In the morning, Riz is very anxious to leave and very over all the elven and Bad Kid shenanigans. Ragh is also very ready to leave, but that’s mainly because he wants to escape his (first ever) hook-up who is a liiiitle too into him being a half-orc if you know what I mean. Kristen decides to give one of her classic, patented, inspiring speeches which is just a glorious trainwreck that’s half public apology, half total ramble, 100% uncomfortable for everyone involved. Then, she offhandedly asks Telemien if he can see Kalina in the photo. He can’t but, guess what? She can. She freaks and asks Tracker to hug her cause she’s freaking out. Tracker obliges until Kristen pushes her luck and asks if she’s slept off being mad at her, at which point she up and leaves for the THIRD TIME. Even Fig is like, “Yikes, girl.”

Ayda isn’t sure if this is a good time (it’s not) but she got a reply back from Zelda. Zelda said that she couldn’t answer because she was at a party and says trying to build a cell tower is crazy. “It’s all whatever Gorgug. I don’t blame you.” The gang walks Ayda through the nuance of the text and why the prognosis is looking negative on the Zelda front. She offers to hurt Zelda for Gorgug. Gorgug appreciates the sentiment but declines. Ayda also says she can research Planeshift for Fig once they’ve rescued Adaine.

But back to the matter at hand. Telemien explains the defenses of Calethriel Tower: It’s defended by a lot of arcane spellcraft that will protect against most magic attacks but is vulnerable to physical attacks which the elves would see as too base to defend against. All of the defenses are powered by Elemental Pylons (which are basically like power transformers). Also, Gilear tries (and fails) to ask for Hilariel’s hand in marriage by inducing vomiting in himself which makes slightly more sense in context but only slightly.

When they get to the edge of the valley where the tower is, Kristen sees that the Pylons are pretty far away from each other (like, miles away). There’s no way to hit both towers and then get to Adaine before someone realizing something’s up. The group mentions that they’re also supposed to be breaking out Aelwyn but Fabian is a lot less gung-ho about that part of the plan than he previously was, pre-existential crisis. They talk it out for a while and end up coming up with the following plan: The hirelings will go to one Pylon to destroy it. Gorgug, Fabian, and Riz will destroy the second Pylon at the same time. Once the Pylons are down and the magical defenses are weak enough that they can use magic without it being countered, Fig (disguise expert), Kristen (in case Adaine or Aelwyn need heals, which they will), and Ayda (who has teleportation and invisibility spells) will go in and get the sisters. Then, everyone will meet at the Van and teleport out (or at the very least, get together to plan a different way out).

Abernant Family Reunion

Meanwhile, in Calethriel Towel, Adaine is having a Day. She’s been put in a Torture Orb which isn’t that bad for the time being but it is very annoying and Boggy is pretty upset. She’s actually not being prevented from casting spells because the elves wouldn’t expect her to have slots yet and she can’t really regain them without trancing. She can sense that the prison is full of permanent magical effects (powered by the Pylons she doesn’t know about) which is unusual since those are really hard to achieve.

The elves’ hubris in not completely stopping her from casting spells works out to Adaine’s favor. She casts Dispel Magic and needs to hit a 15. She gets a 19 and her orb disappears. Unfortunately, that sets off an alarm. She needs to hide but she’s not exactly Riz. She decides (to my immediate delight) to hide in Aelwyn’s room. She only rolls a 6 but that only means that Aelwyn clocks her when she rushes in, not the guards. Speaking of the guards, on a 15 perception check, Adaine can see that there actually aren’t a ton of security mages. It just seems that way because they can immediately teleport to wherever the problem is from these doorless archways.

Anyway, Kier rushes in with some green, 8ft tall, magical construct guards. As she does so, Aelwyn motions for Adaine to stay silent. Kier asks Aelwyn if she knows where Adaine is and Aelwyn basically says, “How should I know?” (which is a question and not an outright lie, smart in case any kind of lie detector spell was running). Once Kier is gone, Aelwyn telepathically messages Adaine (which is a cantrip she’d be able to do even without spell slots) and asks if Adaine has any spell slots left they can use to escape. Adaine says she has 4 first level spell slots and her frog, but her spellbook was taken (as was her jacket). Aelwyn says it was probably taken to the vault on the first floor but it would have been locked down because of the alarm was triggered. Then she and asks if their mom found her and Adaine said she did, briefly.

Up close, Adaine can see more clearly what she glimpsed for a second when she was brought in. Aelwyn is doing BAD. She’s shaking just from the effort of keeping upright and having trouble putting together thoughts. Completely unprompted, Adaine tells Aelwyn that nobody deserves the torture she’s going through and that it’s barbaric and undeserved. Aelwyn immediately starts tearing up (as much as she can being so dehydrated) and says that she can’t remember exactly what it is that she did--both to the world in general and to Adaine specifically--but it was also barbaric and undeserved. She apologizes and is self aware enough to realize how messed up she must have have been that it took months of literal torture to get her to a place where she realized that she had things to apologize for--even though she can’t really remember what they are at this point in her mental deterioration. Adaine, in turn, is aware enough to realize at this point that their parents didn’t just screw her up; they screwed up Aelwyn too by treating her like the golden child. Aelwyn reflexively defends their parents, saying that they tried their best and that they were just trying to make them better by having high expectations but Adaine, who’s had a year of therapy to unpack her trauma, gently rebuffs her. “Expectations without love? What’s that?”

At this point in the conversation, Aelwyn starts repeating herself like an NPC that’s run through all their scripted dialogue options. Adaine realizes but is very patient with her until she’s found and brought back to her cell. However, her cell is close enough to Aelwyn’s that they can message each other. She also uses Ray of Frost in her Orb to make a kind of Slip and Slide to keep her spirits up and she’s able to avoid taking a level of exhaustion in there.

Later, Kier comes in with Adaine’s dad so they can talk. And by that I mainly mean so he can talk at her because she still wants nothing to do with him. Anguin tells Adaine to stop being stubborn and just do what’s asked of her to avoid execution. She also doesn’t know how he is OK with how they’re torturing to Aelwyn. He says she’s being a drama queen since Aelwyn committed treason and she’s not being literally physically beaten or injured. Adaine starts trying to respond to that and then decides to just demand a lawyer. Anguin thinks she’s being ridiculous because things like lawyers and democracy are Solesian concepts and ridiculous, unlike Falinel’s totally normal system government which involves immortal dancers and moon phases.

Adaine, in probably the most high-elf-y display we’ve seen from her, formally curses her dad in the name of the seas and the moon and sun. Then she casts Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on her dad (wasting one of her very few spell slots in a very in character way) because she truly cannot help herself. After Kier quickly dispels it, she demands to see the Solesian Ambassador. But you’re a citizen of Falinel, says Kier (though she can’t hide that the threat gets to her a little). Yeah, but I go to Aguefort, says Adaine. As soon as his name is invoked, a hologram of Aguefort pops up like Clippy and says, “Hey, it seems like you’re F’ing with one of my students. Now, I’m the baddest bitch that’s ever lived. Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?” Kier smirks and chooses the hard way. The hologram blinks out, an alarm starts going off--

And that’s where we end for the year!

*Note: Anguin and Adaine also were contenders for Detention and the Honor Roll respectively but it would have been for basically the same things as last week so I chose other people.

Detention

Kristen for The Worst Apology Ever

I’ve been concerned about this whole Sandra-Lynn/Garthy thing blowing up since it happened, man. I read the writing on the wall. And I knew, if she didn’t get ahead of it, this was gonna splash back on Kristen. And then she decides, not only is she not going to get ahead of it, she’s gonna actively jog further behind it? Truly wild.

And it’s even crazier because, yeah, it would be an awkward conversation to have but it wouldn’t have reflected badly on Kristen (who didn’t do anything), just on Sandra-Lynn. And, yeah, not great for group dynamics but, you know what’s way worse? Tracker being mad at Kristen AND Sandra-Lynn. Tracker’s not even so mad on her Uncle’s behalf as she is about how Kristen decided to handle the situation which, yeah! Duh! How did you think cutting your girlfriend out of the loop would go?

And, listen, a lot actually was going on. The Fabian ordeal then Ragh got possessed, Riz got ambushed by Kalina, they fought Wicklaw again and Adaine got kidnapped. All of these things happened very close together than they’re all #1 Priority type things. She for sure had time to tell Tracker (and should have) but it wasn’t the most pressing thing going on. There is an apology that includes the words “there was a lot going on” that actually works but DAMN, this was NOT it chief.

Honor Roll

Aguefort for Having his Students’ Back

Listen. Aguefort is a crazy, mercurial, semi-feral agent of chaos who I would never leave children in the care of.

HOWEVER, when he comes through he REALLY comes through and man did he come through for Adaine.

Of course, it remains to be seen what his help will actually look like but he gets this spot for bringing a spot of hope into a pretty terrible situation in a very cool way. Well, that and the Drama of It All.

Also, I’m just relieved he’s at least somewhat keeping track of the child assassins he’s sending out into the world.

Random Thoughts

Adaine Re: Boggy: He’s with me how dare you?

Brennan says near the end of the ep something like, “I didn’t think we were gonna spend a whole episode dunking on eleves,” but, honestly? Valid. I really can’t stand elves in most media (even though I usually play elves or half-elves) because they’re so pompous and holier than thou and constantly talking about how fleeting everyone else's lives are. It drives me nuts. Moonshine in Naddpod is my favorite elven archetype in anything because she totally inverts the trope.

“I can’t believe I’m half this.”/”You are not half this these are high elves.”

I love how Fig has absolutely no concept of how this “make me a creature” thing is supposed to work. Does she think Aguefort is just gonna release it into the world without telling her and she has to just, like, find it? Not that that doesn’t sound like something he might do, but still.

Gorgug gets so sick of the insane elven pronunciations and talk about how he’s gonna die at 20 and general nonsense that he has to go lie down in the Van which is The Mood.

Fabian receiving a long, elven greeting from his grandad and then giving the most kid-like response--“Yeah so I’m in high school and I have a school project I need help on and it’s like 60% of my grade”--was very funny.

A couple lore points from this episode:

Fabian’s grand-dad crafted a sword for the king of Falinel 3000 years ago which is why he was gifted the land they live on.

Calethriel Tower was originally a monument by a grieving widow to her husband died in war with Highcourt 500 years ago.

For more detailed physical descriptions and info on the lore, you can check out jamiebluewind’s post on that here.

And then you can also find new character descriptions here and transcripts of the two big RP scenes in Calethriel tower here and here.

And I just wanna give another big shoutout to @jamiebluewind who saved me a lot of backtracking with these descriptions/transcripts. I really appreciate the effort it takes to do that and it’s a super useful resource to have.

“Sheetsmith” High elves are truly insufferable. I’m with Gorgug on this.

I love Fig’s continuing efforts to be Gilear’s cheerleader. Their relationship is so great and it’s come a long way. I also love his brief moments of insight and competence (like, lol, remember in ep1 when Fig disguised herself as her mom and he drove her to school anyway? I loved that) so I was really cheering for him when he successfully did his diplomat stuff at the top of the ep and during his talk with Fig.

Fabian saying he wants his V-Card “removed” like it’s an infected appendix or something. I’m curious to see what, if anything, he says to Aelwyn when they see each other again, seeing as they’ve both hit rock bottom since the last time they met--which, to remind you, was at an insane house party where they were both at like a 14 out of 10.

I think it’s really great that, despite how much the Bad Kids clown on each other, they’re all super patient with explaining social nuances to Ayda. And I love that even though Ayda is pretty unclear about what the appropriate response is to anything, she is pretty ride or die but quick to rein it in once someone talks to her.

“It’s probably fine if Gilear has a grape.”

It’s very important for me to note that the funniest thing that happened this episode was a player action, not a character action and it was Siobhan--after about an hour of sitting in relative silence as the rest of the group did their thing--pulling out a present for Brennan--a set of Sugar and Dice Candy Dice. “So you can eat your fucking dice!” Amazing.

Brennan, as Telemien, recited some poetry and either Brennan just had that memorized or he was freestyling poetry with a consistent meter and rhyme scheme which is just too much for me to handle rn.

Kristen’s “inspiring” speech included the line, “Friendship is thicker than water and we need water to live.” Classic Kristen.

I truly cannot wait for Hilariel to re-enter the story. I want her takes on so many things and I want to know what her relationship with Gilear is like so so so bad. I wonder if he’s gonna tell her what happened with her dad. I didn’t really get the sense that she and Telemien stay in touch very much. But, in fairness, I don’t think she’s kept up with anything/one much in the past 20ish years. Imagine a wedding arc. Now that I’ve thought of it, I want it more than I can imagine. You know Fig would appoint herself Best Man.

The friend group thing where someone says your name wrong once and you pray it doesn’t become A Thing, even though someone’s already in the process of changing the group text title to that. Anyway, you know everyone’s gonna be spelling Fabian’s name Fah-Bee-Ahn in their group text for the foreseeable future.

Fig Re: Gorgug using the Pirate Sending Spell to Zelda: You can end with raunchy promises.

What party was Zelda going to in the Red Waste mid-quest? Was there even really a party? Or was it maybe a Gold Gardens type thing? Based on my experiences being a teenage girl, I would not be surprised if that text was written by committee.

“She’ll come back?”/“Sure.”

Kristen taking Adaine’s vacant room was such an evocative image. I can see it perfectly. Just her curled up alone in this immaculate room with little Adaine-y touches, sad about two things.

The Bad Kids in the forest had maybe the biggest Teenager energy that I’ve seen in any episode of FH so far. Like, that Tracker/Kristen argument alone.

“If you wanted me to build a cell tower I would do it immediately and I would know how.”

I don’t know if there really haven’t been many Kristen and Gorgug scenes or if I’m just forgetting but I loved their one on one in this ep. They’re good scene partners.

I also really liked Gorgug’s talk with Ayda who has been a great addition to the squad. And I love how easily she jumped from, “You’re a good person from what I’ve seen” to that John Mulaney sketch where he’s like, “That guy sounds like he sucks. Do you want me to murder him for you?”

Brennan gave everyone some XP this ep so they’re very close to level 9. Lol at everyone suggesting they Fight Club each other to grind the last bit they need.

“My friend is kidnapped and the rest of my friends are just dancing and eating grapes!”

Telemien’s abject revulsion to the point of throwing up at the operation of a gun (which is why Gilear induced vomiting before asking for Hilariel’s hand btw) was a Choice on Brennan’s part.

“The body protects itself and secretes more hit points.”

Telemien offers to get the best eleven eyesmiths (sure) to make Fabian a new eye and it shouldn't even take long. Unfortunately, in elf-time, that could mean anything from 1 - 100 years.

WHY CAN KRISTEN SUDDENLY SEE THE SHADOWCAT? WHAT IS GOING ON? I’m like thisclose to thinking that it actually is transmitted through bodily fluids like some people were saying. But, seriously, what’s changed since last time the picture was taken out? This was post argument with Tracker. Is that a factor? Or does it just feel like it might be because it was the last major thing to happen before she was able to see it? I want to sit down during the break and make, like, a conspiracy theory board to put together all the data we have on this so far because I feel like every single new piece of info we get is something unexpected but I falso eel like we’re gonna hit ourselves when we realize what it is.

Fig is very ride or die for Adaine this whole episode. She basically had no spell slots but was ready to go after Adaine right away, she offered to go in to get her alone as a “one woman Adaine retrieval team” while everyone else dealt with the Pylons, and when Ayda said Adaine was her best friend, she was like, “Well Adaine is kinda my best friend.”

“By the transitive property, are we best friends?” [Yes] “I grow richer by the day.” I love her so much.

Even though Telemien is like more than a thousand years old, he’s apparently never met a goblin because he calls Riz a “strange, green, mouse thing.”

Riz: Who among us hasn't killed someone?

That "on mushrooms" bit had big "cell tower" energy.

Gorgug: Your grandfather is pissing me off.

Siobhan, to Lou who just Rolled an 8 on His Con Save: We're gonna get you new hands for Christmas.

“It’s Gilear’s day baybee!”

I loved Riz and Fig teaming up to give Gilear as much help as possible for his botched attempt at asking for Hilariel’s hand. “Did he just call himself a throw-up boy?”

If you think about it, it actually is extremely funny that Adaine would demand a lawyer. She’s lived in Falinel almost her entire life but she studied abroad for one year and all of a sudden she’s like, “I have rights!”

Gilear very specifically said that Sandra-Lynn was with, "a member if the couple" and not which one it was. That was such an intentionally vague phrasing that I'm surprised Fig didn't call him on it. Also, I'm curious whether Fig actively knows who it is (maybe a teacher at school) or if he just knows she would go track them down for shenanigans once she had a name.

Also, speaking of Fig, wild that her Catfishing of Dr. Asha is one of the only relationships standing at this point.

OK, I ate my vegetables now I get to talk about Abernant Family Drama.

Those of you who have been following me since I became active in the d20 fandom probably know that one of the first things I wrote were a series of meta-bordering-on-drabbles about what a future relationship between Adaine and Aelwyn could look like because, from episode one, my thought was, “There’s not one messed up sister in this house, there’s two.” I have been on the Abernant Sisters Against Their Parents train since S1 y’all and I thought it had a decent chance of happening but then Aelwyn’s iconic S1 episode happened and we learned she was working with Kalvaxus and she got thrown in jail so there wasn’t much time for development from her.

But then, it became clear that the Abernant family was gonna be all up in this arc and I got excited again. I mean, I tempered my expectations. The confrontation could have shaken out in a couple of different ways. And I would have enjoyed watching Adaine verbally destroy two family members instead of just the one, don’t get me wrong. But y’alllllllllll.

I thought Adaine and Aelwyn would put aside their differences and end up on the same side eventually but I wasn’t expecting Adaine, with absolutely no prompting, to take the path of compassion so quickly and absolutely. And, in turn, I didn’t expect Aelwyn to be as apologetic and forthright as she was. And, man, her whole situation is heartbreaking. The idea that you were so messed up that it took a year of torture to be able to recognize that you were living such a fundamentally flawed life? And then reaching that point but at the cost of your stability and the information needed to make things right? Literally not knowing what’s real and what your fevered brain has made up? That’s so tragic, man.

And Adaine was so gentle with her. The patience as she started repeating things and the kindness as she firmly cast away any remaining delusions Aelwyn had about their parents and upbringing. I am so constantly upset by how well the cast in general but Bren and Siobhan specifically just spit out these fully formed masterpieces that I would need to take a full hour to think through before even opening a Word Doc. It’s really magical.

I have no idea how much mental damage a healing spell can fix, if any, but I’m very interested to see what an even slightly more stable Aelwyn looks like, post all of this. Like, say she gets completely stable due to a combo of therapy and healing magic over time. What is her personality even like at that point? Does she revert back to a version of her old personality but with the acid aimed at someone who deserves it? Does she start from scratch from this baby deer learning to walk place she’s at right now?

Very good DM move from Brennan to have Adaine’s low stealth roll to be Aelwyn noticing her and not the guards so we still got the Aelwyn confrontation and not a quick and frustrating capture.

Aelwyn asked Adaine if, “mother found you,” which makes it sound like she checked in with Aelwyn before she fled. I continue to be very interested in the clues we’re getting to what that woman is up to. Maybe Aelwyn knows more info that the gang could get once she’s a little better or via a detect thoughts or something similar.

I want Anguin to look me in the eye and tell me to my face that not letting someone rest for a full year and not letting them eat or drink and literally keeping them on the brink of death isn’t torture so I can jump through the computer screen into Falinel and strangle him with my bare hands. Like, boy, you’re not even going to go with, “This is justified torture?” You’re gonna say it just straight isn’t? Man I can’t wait for the Bad Kids and/or Aguefort Himself to get sicced on this bastard.

OK, I don’t wanna end on a point about Anguin so, instead, think about Adaine and Aelwyn keeping each other company from nearby cells via the Message cantrip. Isn’t that bittersweet? Closer than they’ve ever been but physically separated and it took literal torture for them to get there.

Oh! And, actually, I almost forgot but this is also a good note to end on. Shoutout to Adaine for switching from Elven to Common when talking to her dad, just to be that little bit more of an annoyance to him. You gotta rebel how you can.

That's it for 2019, guys! We don't have another ep until January 8. Have a good New Years in the meantime and I'll see you then!

No Nat 20’s were rolled this ep. Gorgug rolled 1 Nat 1 and Kristen rolled 2 (or three if you count the one she rolled with disadvantage).

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #forgot the cut

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kvndeathmusic · 5 years ago

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my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead.

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi.

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them.

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to.

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff.

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression.

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10.

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

#music #2010s

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terriblygrimm · 6 years ago

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This may be a personal question, but if a television show were to represent a character as asexual, how would you want them to so? like in terms of stereotypes to avoid and handling it all respectively.

hey thank you for this :) it’s not a personal question i’m happy to answer!!

short answer: no matter what age the character would be, i’d just want someone to write a character, that’s it. the original character they had in mind- but make them ace. it shouldn’t be defining in any way, but aces just don’t dig people like that. just a normal element of a person’s life like anything else.

long answer: while asexuals can literally be anyone, i’d like for them to avoid the sterotypes of the “quiet, awkward, self conscious shy kid”. because i feel like people already #1, think asexuality is a phase, and #2 if they believe in it, associate it with people who don’t act like most people, or that aces are ppl afraid of intimacy. i just wouldn’t want them to perpetuate some kind of already ingrained idea of an “~outsider”. (not to invalidate any aces that are ace & have experienced trauma, but general audiences have the total IQ of a spork).

i’m not sure if you’ve seen shadowhunters but raphael santiago is an asexual vampire. and while it’s a supernatural show and he was a side character, they handled it with grace. he told his love interest he’s just not interested in sex and that he’s always been that way. she was fine with it and the story moved on! lol. he had his own character & it didn’t revolve around his sexuality, he was just simply part of the story with his part to play.

that’s how i’d want it handled tbh. asexuals are just regular ppl but we’re not sexually attracted to any gender. we want romance, playfulness, the whole shebang (unless you’re aromantic, but we’re strictly talking ace rn). i personally love romance - as in the idea of having a partner. the connection and all that entails. i like the warm fuzzies, i like cuddling, i like getting gifts and holding hands. but i’m not one for dating culture or fakeness, so you can see the hardship. in my experience with being ace, you’re basically someone looking at an ant hill. looking at all of these sex obsessed little ants weaving in and out of relationships, talking about sex, the media peddling sex, ppl talking as if sex is the endgame, constantly hearing shit like ‘how many ppl have you slept with?’ ‘i’d fuck him!’ ‘so and so is so hot’- just completely saturated with sex everywhere in every conversation and you’re just standing there like hm interesting. that’s the best way i can describe it lol. EVEN MY DOCTOR when i was a teenager told me i should “really get on that” when i told her i wasn’t sexually active. so.

i’ve known i’ve been ace since high school. i didn’t know the word for it until my 20s, which made me feel like i was on the outskirts, but it NEVER made me feel bad or self-conscious (i know i’m prob in the minority with that) but i never felt i was ~weird, just different. all my friends would talk about their crushes, who they found “hot” and they’d ask me what my “type” was and i’d honestly make things up lol. because i didn’t have one but i didn’t know what to say because i didn’t know this sexuality existed.

so point is, if they were to make a high school ace, or a coming of age ace- i’d just want it to be a typical kid who couldn’t relate to a sex obsessed world. who didn’t have those weird sexual phases in high school of wanting to hook up with ppl, and who didn’t have pictures of hot actors in their locker. but who also didn’t mind getting off or watching porn, or having a signficant other and experiencing nice things.

think loosely of a jughead jones a la s1 of riverdale. the first few eps. i FELT jughead. he gave off SUCH STRONG ace vibes. i was over the moon with his characterization before they ruined it, did a 180 and made him a boring hetero (and i stopped watching immediately bc aroace erasure can suck a fat one). but jughead was snarky, he was SMART, he could see things as they were, he was an introvert but wasn’t ashamed of it and had a best friend on the football team. just a regular kid who rolled his eyes at all of archie’s relationship problems lol. had no problem connecting to people but he just didn’t want to. & even before they turned him into a trainwreck, he felt shy around betty, wanted a fist kiss, etc. which are all things that i went through as well. the shyness, the crushes, the awkward first kisses, etc just like any other teen.

as an adult, i’m a sex-neutral ace that enjoys sex occasionally and getting off for stress relief and emotional relief. but do i ever want to have sex because of the OTHER PERSON’S PHYSICALITY? no. literally not once in my life. i’m not sexually attracted to people like that. i can find ppl hot, aesthetically appealing, but do i want them? no.

sorry for the tmi, but sexual experiences are important to address when talking about asexuality and discovering who you are in relation to it. it’s a spectrum and everybody’s different so the tldr version is essentially make them a REGULAR fully fledged character, just ace.

#ask #i hope i didn’t ramble too much #its kind of hard to navigate talking about personal experiences without going off on nonrelated tangents lol #i wanted to delve in a bit and not give a typical answer #but idk i hope this helped? send more questions if it didnt! i have no problem talking about #thank you for the question!! :)

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trainwrecksobserver · 27 days ago

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I just think that Luna and Sebastian getting dunked in the pool made the season finale (pt. 1) absolutely perfect

#trainwrecks #luna cruz #sebastian velasquez #trainwrecks ep 20 #season finale pt 2 tomorrow let's gooo #wednesday episodes are the best

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kingsmanhartwin · 7 years ago

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the trainwreck flat ep.4

D’s full name is 20 letters long and took me a whole day of crash-course Arabic lessons to learn to pronounce. His full name is on his desk at work, engraved into those little gold plate things.

A client from London came in today, took one look at the name and asked, very slowly, to speak to someone who spoke English.

Granted with the beard, the long braids, the skin colour, and the name, the man must have felt fairly convinced that communicating with D would be difficult.

D was born in Yorkshire. D has never lived outside the UK. Arabic is his second language. His Syrian born mum often makes fun of him for speaking with a Yorkshire accent, and says its the most ghastly thing she’s ever heard.

D lives for ‘making old, white men uncomfortable,’ and with great pleasure leaned back in his chair and stared the older guy down before, very slowly, replying in what is possibly the thickest Yorkshire accent I’ve ever heard -

‘that’s going to be real hard to accommodate mate, because everyone else in this office is from Fife or Aberdeen so I’m probably the only one you’ll be able to understand.’

The guy goes completely white, promptly apologises and sits there embarrassed for the rest of the meeting.

#trainwreck flat

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curestardust · 6 years ago

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if you want: boi this is some Grade A yaoi dom/sub shit > this is a review of both the 1992 and the 2012 versions

So upon seeing this anime in my PTW i was thoroughly confused. I like yaoi from time to time but I don’t actively look for it. Then I suddenly remembered; one of my friends in like 8th grade was bugging me constantly to watch this because it’s “so HOT NGHNGHGH”. Well Fruzsi it’s been like 7 years now but I finally watched it!

The story is set in some futuristic world in another planet. The society is ruled by machines and the Blondies that were created by them (I think, I actually read this part on wikipedia). There’s a district where men with no official government identifiaction live and they’re called “mongrels” and are considered the lowest of the low.

In this society the Blondies keep certain humans as pets and furnitures (basically sex slaves and worker slaves). Our main character Riki is a mongrel and has a run in with a Blondie. NSFW things happen and Riki becomes the Blondie’s (Iason’s) pet for 3 years after which he is allowed to go back to the Slums for a year.

So let me begin with the original 1992 version. The animation and art are as you would expect from anime from this time. The Slums are mostly dark with vivid colours giving the neon and futuristic feel. Tanagura (the “capital”) is mainly shades of white to give the feeling of purity and perfectionism. The characters are wonky however. Actually good character designs basically stop at the 3-4 main characters with secondary characters basically being indistinguishable.

Just like the colours, the music also plays a big role. The lack of background music can actually be distracting at times but the anime only uses tracks when it really wants to give another layer to the events happening on screen. Voice acting is decent but with more emotional scenes some of the performances were uhhh....unintentionally funny.

The pacing is off. The 1992 version consists of 2 almost 1 hour long episodes. In the first one we join in at the time when Riki is let back into the Slums by Iason and we follow him in the present. Then the second one is divided between flashbacks and advancing towards the ending. You’d think that Ai no Kusabi would be giving you steaming hot yaoi action but in reality there’s barely any NSFW content in the first episode; the majority of it is spent by fleshing out the world.

While quite a lot happens, the character development is lackluster. The anime feels more like just events happening after each other because the plot demands it and not because of a natural flow of the characters actions.

The 2012 version is an improvement in certain areas and a downgrade in others. The most glaring change is obviously the art and animation. It’s GORGEOUS. Not only is the animation fluid but the character designs of the secondary characters got a huge haul-over. They no longer look like clones of each other but like they have their own character. They went to extreme length with this; even the facial structure of characters were completely different.

Somewhat of a downgrade would be the music which is...fine. Just fine. The OST sounds like it came off of “free-copyright-music.net”.

The 2012 version consists of 4 25 minute episodes. It is much slower than the original version and goes much more in depth on the story. It also doesn’t have an ending....yep. As it turns out this was supposed to be 12 OVAs long but they discontinued it due to financial reasons (seems like creating HQ sex scenes dries up money fast).

It is dissapointing as I was just getting into the groove of it by episode 4 and then just bamm, it’s over. Oh and one thing to mention; in one of the episodes there’s just a random conversation in which Riki tells his age and he says that he is 15...UMMM??? SO i know that the Blondies don’t really have ages or whatever but this made me immENSELY uncomfortable so I’m just choosing to think that Riki has been like 18-20 when the story starts, alright? Alright.

SOOOOO...I don’t really know what else to say. You like yaoi and this dom/sub slave whatever fetish thing you’ll probably enjoy this? It is unfinished...but the episodes made are still great quality and there’s always the manga? [6/10] (x) [6/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: something really edgy that doesn’t have a purpose besides being edgy

Mahu Shoujo Site is godawful.

This “dark magical girls” trope is starting to get on my nerves. They usually have no point besides giving enjoyment to sick fucks who enjoy seeing little girls in horrible situations. Oh and also to the people who think “dark, depressing and gorey = d e ep”.

So, I obviously caught notice of this the first time I saw it as I’m always interested in magical girl stuff. And if you’ve read my previous reviews you know that this usually doesn’t go very well. Anyway, even from the summary I knew that this was going to be edgy but how much? Well I read the first review on MAL on it and lowkey scarred me into ignoring this anime. In the end, curiosity won out and I really wanted to see how much of a trainwreck MSS actually was.

I feel like a summary of the first episode would scare a lot of people away as it shows a lot of really cruel stuff that many people are sensitive to. Which would be: the apparent murder of a kitten to fuck with main character (not actually shown), the main character getting severely bullied and beaten at school by 3 of her classmates, her big brother tying her up and beating her (and punching her in the stomach) at home and at the very end some dude almost rapes her. Oh and the main character is like some 14yo little girl.

Whew. Ticks off all the “ew wtf” boxes, doesn’t it? Well rest assured the anime NEVER goes into this level of cruelty again. There are no animals in the anime after episode one. *Spoilers* happen to the bullies which also mostly takes them out of the picture after episode 2 and our main character is barely home or if she is then she is with friends which makes his brother unable to beat her.

All this was just used to show how “unfortunate” she is so that she will be made into a magical girl as in MSS only girls who have had to deal with a lot of pain are eligible to become magical girls. OOOO edgy.

Then they have their weapons which are stupidly all named “sticks” even though they can be whatever (gun, phone, yoyo, panties...). And speaking of sticks, using them eats up the girls’ life forces...OOOO edgy. Have I mentioned that whenever they “transform” they HAVE to bleed from somewhere? Like eyes, nose, head...OOOOOOOOO edgy!!!!

We’ve a main cast of characters who get some personality but then we’re introduced to a second set of characters who literally have one personality trait each, plus their powers which makes me give approximately 0 fucks about whether they live or die.

The animation is quite poor, the OST is unremarkable and they seem to use the same 3 tracks in every episode (the OP and ED songs are bangers however) and the voice acting also leaves much to be desired but the VA’s did as much with the script as they could.

The worst part is that the anime kinds of ends on a cliffhanger. Even from the opening I was expecting some grand battle but nope. There’s a plot twist which made me go “HMM” but that’s about it. So you sit through this shitfest and don’t even get a proper conclusion. Any enjoyment you could take away from this is seeing just how much bullshit they can put into these 12 episodes.

The characters you can grow to care for. Mostly because they’re SET UP to be pitied and babied, but my thought regarding them is “you didn’t deserve to be in this pile of garbage of an anime”. (x) [2/10]

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

#dusty reviews #i put these 2 in a seperate post #cause these are not usually the stuff i review #welp #long post #Ai no Kusabi #Ai no Kusabi (2012)#Mahou Shoujo Site #Magical Girl Site

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/12/2020 (LadBaby, Boris Johnson, Ed Sheeran)

It’s Boxing Day in the UK as I write this and I’m pretty tired but we still have to review those charts regardless, especially this chart as this is the Christmas chart – at least it’s being paraded around as such – and hence we have a Christmas #1. For the third year in a row, family vlogger, pseudo-comedian and amateur musician, not to be confused with DaBaby, Mark Ian Hoyle – more commonly known as “LadBaby”, has bagged the #1 for the holiday season. Every time I’ve covered the Christmas #1 it has been this guy and, yeah, I’m tired of it. At least this year he felt some stiff competition, and hey, the songs’ proceeds do go to charity. Oh, yeah, and this guy is the third act to have three Christmas #1s in a row, putting this nobody from Nottingham with a barebones Wikipedia page and a couple million YouTube subscribers on the level of the Beatles and Spice Girls. God, the UK Singles Chart never fails to amaze me. Anyway, that’s arguably not even the biggest story here so let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As I said before, this is the “Christmas week” so throughout the UK Top 75 there are a lot of holiday songs re-peaking or reaching new peaks, before dropping off entirely the next week. Let’s start as we always do by listing the drop-outs from the chart, of which there are quite a few notable ones. Most of our top 40 debuts from last week are gone, like Taylor Swift’s “champagne problems” and “no body, no crime” featuring HAIM, as well as “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, the late Pop Smoke and Skepta. We can also say goodbye to “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, finally after 54 weeks and a surprise return earlier this month, in addition to other top 10 hits like “you broke me first” by Tate McRae, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio and “What You Know Bout Love” also by Pop Smoke, as well as some more minor hits like “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles and “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, but I can see almost all of these rebounding hard next week so I don’t think there’s much to worry about here. For fallers, since Christmas has really consumed everything about this chart this week, we have some big ones that’ll find themselves back in the top 10 or at least top 20 next week like “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19 (the first non-Christmas non-debut song to appear on the chart, by the way), “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #20, “Whoopty” by CJ at #22, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #28, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #31, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa at #35 alongside “Midnight Sky” also by Miley at #36, “willow” by Taylor Swift off the debut to #37, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #38 and “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy. We also have “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #43, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #45, even “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X at #49, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #54, “Loading” by Central Cee at #59, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #60, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #64, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #66, “Dynamite” by BTS at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #72, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa with the biggest fall down to #73 and finally “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #74. To put the dominance of holiday music on the charts in perspective, if we take the songs that are not either explicitly Christmas-related or a clear Christmas #1 campaign (i.e. LadBaby), the song at #38 would be at #10 and our #1 would be “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19. “Whoopty” by CJ, that entered the top 10 last week and dropped to #22 this week, would be at #3. There are 11 songs in the top 40 that never made an effort to take advantage of the holiday season. When we get into some of our debuts, it’ll be even clearer how big Christmas is in British pop music. Anyway, let’s skim through our gains and returning entries, most of which are Christmas or Christmas-related. For returning entries, we have the comically awful “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71, last year’s scam attempt at a Christmas #1, “River” by Ellie Goulding at #69, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole at #63 (which I’d appreciate more in the top 20 like it is in the US every year – this is a classic), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders at #62 (again, incredible song that deserves a higher holiday peak each year), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #58, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #55, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #53 and for whatever reason, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper at #41. In terms of notable gains – and I stress notable, since a lot of higher-up Christmas songs had small gains but still good performance - we have “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #56, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #52, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Brett Eldredge and Meghan Trainor at #51, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #50 (both off of the debut), “Baby it’s Cold Outside” AGAIN by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel at #47, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #46, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #44, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #42, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” AGAIN by Dean Martin at #39, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #34, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #33, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #32, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms at #27, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #26, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #25, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher at #24 (thanks to a Christmas #1 campaign that crashed and failed), “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #23, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #21, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #17, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #15, and finally, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber illegitimately notching a spot in the top 10 at #8. Finally, we can get onto the new arrivals, although something about this next one tells me that we won’t be in line for anything all that good.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “I’ll be Home” – Meghan Trainor

Produced by Meghan Trainor

...for Christmas. She’ll be home for Christmas. I guess she just can’t finish sentences, even though her cover art has the full title. Anyway, this is a 2014 original Christmas song that went nowhere except Sweden. It’s not anything like the Bing Crosby and wasn’t nearly as successful, mostly because it’s a jingly, inoffensive ballad tacked onto a silly Christmas EP that also features Fifth Harmony and Fiona Apple of all people – who probably should have charted her track instead – as well as the deluxe edition of that debut record Title that nobody liked. At least in this, she’s not going for a faux-retro style, or at least one that I can find the inspiration for, and is just singing over this oddly jaunty piano melody – which sounds pretty albeit bland – as well as some swells of strings and acoustic guitar that do work sonically. The content implies that Meghan Trainor is in contact with Santa Claus personally, and that he gave her the advice to be home with her lover this Christmas and... that’s why this charted, isn’t it? Well, it’s not her fault – it’s not a “stuck with u” moment, but it is dodgy that she decided to put this on her own Christmas record that was released in October of this year, which can’t seem unintentional. I’d be lying to say this isn’t a pretty little tune from Trainor and her voice does fit this instrumental, but a jazzy rendition from someone with a deeper, smoother voice, would work wonders with the content. Oh, and that Christmas record features guest appearances from both Earth, Wind & Fire and Seth MacFarlane, as well as her dad, because, you know, sure, 2020.

#65 – “Gnat” – Eminem

Produced by d.a. got that dope

I can’t tell if I’m underestimating Christmas or overestimating Eminem when I say I expected an album bomb – or whatever that equivalent would be in the UK and our land of silly chart rules – from the deluxe edition of his pretty damn terrible album, Music to be Murdered By. This 3/10 trainwreck consists of two hours I’ll never get back of either great beats wasted by Eminem’s corny, stiff flows and painfully unlikeable delivery or obnoxious, unlistenable beats that are dated enough for Eminem to start going on his Relapse “killing women in funny accents” shtick, which was awful then and even worse now when he tries to replicate it. Marshall, you’re 48, and I know that you’re just “messing around” but if you’re going to treat the album as a cinematic masterpiece within the album and its thematic Alfred Hitchcock interludes, you have to understand that the audience will see it as that way as well, so you having fun and being painfully unfunny in the process over cutting-room-floor trap instrumentals cannot slide. At least Kamikaze had some genuine anger and dare I say some actual balls in how it tackled controversy and dissed everyone he could think of off the top of his head. The last record was angry and bitter, this one’s just tired and lazy, and that’s before we get into some of the ugliest bars, instrumentals and cadences Slim Shady’s ever put on record, which is especially present on “Gnat”, a lightweight trap banger with some acoustic guitars not dissimilar to those that would appear on a Lil Baby mixtape, complete with questionable bass mixing and really bad hooks. On the verses, he sends a death threat to Mike Pence, but on the chorus, his bars are “like COVID” because “you get them right off the bat”. I don’t know about you, but in 2020, I don’t want to hear Eminem harmonising with producer tags, making topical and insensitive pandemic references, or spitting sex bars with coughing ad-libs. Before the beat switch, his flows are some of the sloppiest and drawn-out he’s ever used, and yes, I’ll admit, that second beat is a lot better and Em kills it over that instrumental – but only for a brief moment before we have a third beat, which Eminem is pretty great over, especially with that sax and sweet piano keys overlaid with hard 808s and Eminem’s rapid-pace, quick fire flow... and then he raps the chorus again and I want the song to end as quickly as it started – thankfully, it does end rather abruptly. Just wasted potential all throughout – if that beat switch and flow was a guest verse on damn near anyone else’s record (Em has made tracks with Don Toliver of all people, and he could work), this could be great. For now, Em, you know Kris Kristofferson? I think you should Piss Pissofferson. Forever. Look that up, by the way, that’s a lyric on the record because of course it is.

#61 – “In the Bleak Midwinter” – Jamie Cullum

Produced by ???

I had only briefly heard the name “Jamie Cullum” before this, but he is an English jazz-pop singer and pianist who’s basically useless and uninteresting but, hey, at least he has a radio show on BBC Radio 2. Sure, I mean that might have been the reason that Amazon Music picked him up for an exclusive project for which this is the biggest single. It’s not on Spotify, it’s not even on Genius, and it’s barely on YouTube but since it is, I should tell you that this is his first charting single since 2009 and it’s a remarkably uninteresting rendition of a Christmas carol done a lot better by Jacob Collier – and that one’s on Spotify – so yeah, your sleepy piano arrangement and tone that makes you sound like Robbie Williams half the time and Beck the other, doesn’t interest me. Goodbye.

#30 – “Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by PARISI, Fred Again and Ed Sheeran

If we inexplicably remove everything Christmas-related on the chart, Eminem’s “Gnat” would have debuted at #20, and this new track from Ed Sheeran, already stunted from being released on an unconventional day, would have hit #5. Regardless of chart position, Ed Sheeran’s back with his first solo single since Divide. Yes, I’m purposefully ignoring that collaborative project he put out in 2019 because as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. At the end of the year, when things are looking as if he could start touring again, Sheeran predictably releases his lead-off single. This song in particular is a heartfelt ballad from Ed to his wife, who he wishes to be there forever and even if they aren’t together at any moment, whether he’s touring or they separate for whatever reason, he’ll “hold on to the afterglow”. I won’t lie, it’s a really sweet and convincingly sold love song from Ed, even if it’s not anything new, it does feel like a different approach since he’s a newly-wed man now. Although I’m not a fan of this somewhat muddy mixing that somehow messes up just a guy and his acoustic guitar, making what should be a really pretty, ethereal and mellow track sound almost ugly, which doesn’t flatter Ed and his limited delivery at all, especially when he starts getting multi-tracked in the second verse and whooshing sound effects of strings pop up in the mix, and, yeah, it just sounds cheap and gross at this point, which is really a waste of incredible content and a great performance from Ed, who sells everything as well as he can. I understand how this is supposed to be down to Earth, so a perfect mix wouldn’t make sense, but if you’re going to make him harmonise with his own background vocals and even show signs of belting, give him some more grandiosity and go full out instead of restraining him so that it just sounds jarring. With a different mix this could be one of Ed’s best tracks since the melodies are on point, the song feels really heart-warming and sincere, especially coming from Ed to his wife, but we won’t get a remaster anytime soon, I imagine, so for now this is just pretty damn good. I love the cover art as well, painted by Ed himself, and released alongside the single as a bit of a Christmas gift to fans, as well as the start of what I’m pretty sure will be a promo cycle. If this is a good peek into what that album will sound like, it’s safe to say I’m more than excited than ever to hear from Ed Sheeran.

#5 – “Boris Johnson is a Fricking Jerk” – Kool & the Gang

Produced by ???

Okay, so the song’s calling Boris Johnson something stronger than a “fricking jerk”, and the song is decidedly not by soul legends Kool & the Gang, although I’d love for that to happen sometime. This is a family show, of course, so we have to take some liberties. This track originates from a comedian from Basildon, Essex of all places, and whilst we don’t know his name, the songwriting credit on Spotify is given to contemporary British poet Wayne Clements so maybe he’s behind this, who knows? Whether he is or not, I can tell you the history behind this comedian’s music, as he has been making crude short singles about controversial topics in British society and politics for a while, including some about Nick Clegg that charted, although never higher than #63. He retired in 2016 but after writing an autobiography, the guy’s back and he released a compilation of punk rock tracks, all of which are small and profane, with a “band” of puppets that I also can’t name. State-controlled Russian television networks – because, sure, again, it’s 2020 – say that he will start touring in 2021, mostly because he’s finally reached that mainstream audience with this family-friendly tune about Boris Johnson. Here’s how Vick Hope and Katie Thistleton introduced it live on air during the mid-week chart reveal.

Now at #19, we've got a track about Boris Johnson that has so many bad words in it, we can't play it on daytime Radio 1.

Ah, you cowards. Wait... Anyway, I’m pretty happy that the British public can stick it to Boris and the heartless Tories that follow him and currently rule the country, even if it is all a bloody stupid joke from an anonymous punk rocker. We can dig into Boris for his failures on Brexit, mishandling of the pandemic, disgraceful reality-star-esque personal life, that he wasn’t even born in the UK yet is basically a nationalist, his history of Islamophobic commentary, his crap excuses for journalism back in the 2000s or even his clown-nose, blonde bowl-cut “hair style” he adopts whilst addressing us on live television feeding us lies and misleading statements that turn into retcons the next time he has to address the nation, whether it be on Brexit or COVID-19 tiers and regulations, both of which are a confusing mess to both sides of Europe that exist to drift us away from where we should be going as a nation, and further into the realm of political party tribalism that we know absolutely does not work in the States and that we mock the Yanks for. We’re more than the sick man of Europe, we are the America of Europe. I guess you could say Ireland is our Canada, but we don’t even have a Mexico to make us look better, we just have other western, central and northern European countries that may be flawed but are far ahead of whatever the hell this shell of a union is in 2020, less than 80 years after the creation of our National Health Service. People will look to pundits and newsreaders like Piers Morgan, entertainers like Phillip Schofield, war veterans and charity-givers like Captain Tom Moore, and even politicians like Boris Johnson, as the “heroes” of Britain’s 2020 but it’s increasingly clear that absolutely no-one is a hero, and it’s the people’s right to be upset. Hence, nearly exactly a year after Boris Johnson cheated his way into power by smear campaigns and elitism, we have this song debuting at #5. Unfortunately, the song doesn’t go into any of that. It just repeats the title in an anthemic – and considerably agreeable – refrain that is an undeniable punk hook. The riffs and guitar work here isn’t of any interest, but the guy’s delivery is powerful and furious, so I’ll give the song credit: it’s not just correct but it’s really good, especially for a one minute runtime. He also released some satirical MIDI-level synth-pop remix with gross Christmas sleigh bells and hi-hat skitters, because, say it with me, it’s 2020. I wouldn’t recommend the album though, it overstays its welcome by the time you get to “Jesus Died of a Stranglewank”.

#1 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby

Produced by who cares?

I can’t get mad at this lazy “parody” of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” about sausage rolls, or even its Ronan Keating remix, which is LadBaby doing a favour to Ronan Keating, if anything. Sure, my blood boils with the idea that this incompetent Internet personality from the East Midlands – which I think I’m sadly also able to describe myself as – got the #1 over Mariah Carey, or even that Boris Johnson diss track, but it’s going to the Trussell Trust and it’s ultimately an inoffensive, vaguely happy track that even gets the vegans involved. I, for one, prefer “Boris Johnson is a Sausage Roll”, a version of our #5 you can – and should – play on the radio even after Christmas. I don’t have anything more to say about this guy so piss off, LadBaby, you can’t even get the album cover right to the song you’re parodying, thrice in a row.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is definitely going to the Somethings for “Boris Johnson is a Something Something”, with an Honourable Mention to Ed Sheeran’s “Afterglow”. I can’t bring myself to give a charity single Worst of the Week so I’ll spare LadBaby the honour and grant it to Jamie Cullum for his greedy Amazon exclusive trite, with a Dishonourable Mention for “Gnat” by Eminem, for just being wasted potential all across the board. Next week, everything Christmas-related will be gone and we’ll get a bunch of returns and hopefully some new, interesting returning entries. We might even get the impact of Playboi Carti’s long-anticipated album – and I hope so because it’s fantastic – but that’s wishful thinking. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading. You can follow me @cactusinthebank for more rambling about pop music and occasionally politics, and I’ll see you next year.

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musikmusing · 8 years ago

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ARRIVING AT ‘THE ALTAR’ WITH BANKS: A TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW

(By Regan Wojick for Atwood Magazine)

The artist known as BANKS started out somewhat of an enigma. The Los Angeles songstress, who drops her first name Jillian when she hits the stage, rarely ever made waves on the black holes that are Twitter and Instagram. It only added to her mystery. Really, social media presence isn’t entirely necessary when your music speaks for itself. In 2013, she released two EPs, Fall Over and London, lighting a widespread fuse for BANKS . Without breaking a sweat, she absolutely lived up to all of the well deserved hype.

Late in 2014, BANKS put out her first full length, Goddess. The album was on everyone’s playlists, whether they were into pop, indie, electronic, R&B, etc. At the same time BANKS was able to isolate her listeners yet reach out to eclectic groups of people by referencing influences like Tracy Chapman, Fiona Apple, and the Weeknd. Goddess was an in depth look into the pain and passion revolving around love in relationships. Jumping forward two years, after long months of touring and releasing singles here and there, we have arrived at The Altar (released 9/30/2016 via Harvest Records).

In religious terms, the altar is symbolically a place of sacrifice. It may seem like an old-fashioned tradition now, but a majority of weddings have happened at the top of an altar, where the groom awaits his life partner. It raises the important question: Do love and sacrifice go hand in hand?

When BANKS is involved, the answer seems like an absolute yes. Perhaps, it is the sacrifice of giving up independence. However, it is never that simple with the multi-layered singer. With an album like The Altar, you can’t just look inside the thematic box; you need to look around, under, and above the box. It’s possible that the album works as her altar as she bears all in front of the world, when her own timidness could not let her do so before. The Altar is a place where things are front and center. BANKS can be BANKS, with her emotional curtains drawn.

Any fan cannot help but notice the drastic difference between the two albums visually, lyrically, and sonically. On her debut album cover, Goddess, BANKS is almost unrecognizable as she was hiding behind her dark bangs and the deep red album art. Again, running with her mysterious persona. While The Altar’s cover is different in every way possible. The album art is light gray with her au naturale face front and center, embracing her freckles. (What? BANKS has freckles?) Just by the look of the new record, you can sense an aura of change.

She has grown in confidence, and is welcoming it with open arms. With each song, you can hear the gradual evolution of BANKS: from a shy, less controversial singer to an artist with bold lyrics and vocals that are not be messed with. The Altar takes a similar approach following her debut, musically, but amps it up even more. Each beat hits harder and each synth is striking. Although her last album was entitled Goddess, BANKS has embraced the Goddess she is supposed to be more than ever.

Gemini Feed

The opening track of the album sets the mood for what listeners can expect for the next 12 songs to follow: honest, passionate electronic pop music with indisputable soul. BANKS sings each emotional line in a lower, growling almost frustrated, voice. We can all relate to a time when, no matter how loud we spoke, we couldn’t get through to someone; pride works as a barrier, deflecting anything and everything having to do with feelings.

“I tried to say I love you but you didn’t hear me And you’re passive aggressive Convinced me other people they don’t care about me”

BANKS reflects on the way she was treated by her passive aggressive ex. While she was only trying to mend their spiraling relationship, he only brought her, and her crushed ego, down.

So, what exactly does being a Gemini entail you might be wondering? With the growing obsession of astrology signs, it’s slightly shocking that you don’t know, but I’ll refresh your memory. The sign represents a pair of twins, so Gemini’s often have dual personalities and you might not know which personality you’re dealing with. Putting two Gemini’s together might not exactly end in harmony.

“When I said I miss you, you never believed me And we were so depressive You and me together we were Gemini feed”

Likeness and differences can make or break a relationship, and in BANKS’ case, they may have been too similar to work their differences out.

“And to think you would get me to the altar Like I’d follow you around like a dog that needs water But admit it that you wanted me smaller If you woulda let me grow you coulda kept my love”

In the verses, BANKS may have been using a gruff voice, but by the piercing choruses, she was ready to get her point across. Loud and clear. The last chorus is where listeners are properly introduced to The Altar. When she looks back on the relationship she was in, she can hardly believe her love was almost sacrificed to be with a man who made her feel lesser than he.

Fuck With Myself

BANKS gives us a lesson in self-love with the fervent and sexy “Fuck With Myself.” The second track, and the first single released off the album, reeks of imitable confidence. There’s a definite cockiness to song, but it feels more like well deserved self assurance. The song explores different electronic sounds, and uses familiar hip-hop beats making it fall somewhere in the left field pop, R&B region.

The song reiterates, in it’s own unique way, that you need to “fuck with yourself,” or love yourself, before you should step up to the plate to love somebody else. Pushing romance aside, being able to feel and trust yourself is important in all relationships, whether it’s personal or business.

Lovesick

The introduction to “Lovesick” is reminiscent of moments on Goddess, particularly, the heart wrenching ballad “Change.” This time around though, BANKS isn’t recounting the sad moments of a crumbling relationship, nor is it her offering to change herself just to salvage what was left of their love. “Lovesick” is a sweet ode to her love. It narrates the simplicity of an instant love affair; the kind that has a pure, undeniable connection from the start.

This is one of the happier, lighter tunes that BANKS has to offer on the album, which works as a nice contrast to her darker, more intense tracks of heartbreak. The song starts off as a slower piano ballad, but by the end of 3 minute and 20 second track, you’ll undoubtedly be bobbing your head and tapping your foot.

Mind Games

“Mind Games” explores the pain of toxic relationships. As humans, we need confirmation in love; we crave attention and adoration. “Mind Games,” the longest song on the record, brings us into a dark state of mind. It’s heartbreaking to love someone and to know that you can’t, or shouldn’t, be with them. At times, we’re blinded by fond memories, but “Mind Games” focuses on each twisted thing that happened within the relationship.

“I foresee it’s true That you would love me better If I could unscrew All of your moods that make me wanna runaway But I got stuck with faulty legs”

Her ex let let his bad moods get in the way of their own love. Although she knew the kind of man she was partnered with, she could not muster up the courage to leave him. Perhaps, she was afraid she wouldn’t find anyone again.

“You claiming I’m a handful when you show up All empty-handed The way you say you love me like You’ve just been reprimanded Cause I know you like mind games”

It sounds like a war of tug and pull. She had to squeeze the word “love” out of ex’s mouth, and he only ever said it like he was being condemned or forced, which may have been all part of his “game.”

“Do you See me now”

The last line of the song is powerful. She repeats “do you see me now,” and each time it’s uttered out of her mouth, it’s grown stronger. It’s as if she’s saying “look at me, I don’t need you.”

Trainwreck

The fifth track on the record follows behind “Mind Games” with a similar theme, but in a different voice. On “Trainwreck,” BANKS has let her frustration boil over, and she is not being shy about it. The pop, trip-hop track is an absolute banger. We find the songstress practically rapping her biting lyrics over solid electronic beats. BANKS has a unique style of rapping. She speaks each line in a sweeping breathe. She strings words together that just shouldn’t make sense, but of course, they do.

“Talking to ears that have been deaf for as long as I Can remember. A self-medicated handicap so i speak to Myself and i try so hard to get his stupid deaf ears to hear that I’ve become illiterate. I become dumb”

She’s dealing with the same man she’s been dealing with for a long time, and now, she’s over it. Rather than talk to someone who won’t hear her, she’s decided to talk herself out of the mess she’s in. She tried to save him, but realized it was useless when he wasn’t willing.

“And I saved you from your darker days Born to Take care of you Or I thought so Maybe it was just a phase”

Some of us are born as savers: people who so badly want to help those who can’t get up in the morning. BANKS is one of those savers. Some people can’t be helped; if you don’t want the help, then you won’t get it.

“You showed me all your letters that I Should’ve confiscated Both of my eyes were weighted I had to get away”

It’s dangerous to be in a trapped relationship. The walls close in, and there’s no light at the end of a tunnel. BANKS escaped the “trainwreck” that her fate was headed towards and is ready to move on.

Now when people ask me what BANKS is like, this will be the song I play.

This Is Not About Us

BANKS has a smooth way of saying “it’s not me.. It’s you.” In “This Is Not About Us,” she tries to let down a man in her life, who’s been attracted to the idea of a relationship for a long time. Maybe they were short term lovers that didn’t work out. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the memo.

Sonically, this is the most pop she gets on the record. It has a catchy chorus with a radio friendly instrumental.

Weaker Girl

Through the record thus far, we’ve already seen evolution of BANKS not only an artist, but also as a person. She is strong, confident, and candid. Although she didn’t exactly lack candid moments on Goddess, there was some power missing behind some tracks. “Weaker Girl” is a song would have been unfathomable on BANKS’ debut, but on the new record, it makes perfect sense. It echoes the cockiness that we heard previously on “Fuck With Myself” and the self-awareness of “Gemini Feed.”

The dark R&B track is sultry and tempting with the repetitive chorus “I’ma need a bad motherfucker like me.” No matter how sure she sounds in the track, there was a time when BANKS could never say that. And in such an explicit, this-is-what-I-want attitude. She recalls when she was a “weaker girl” and how her ex still wishes she was that girl. When she grew taller, she was seen as a threat. This song is an ode to her newfound badass-ness.

Mother Earth

The only song transition, which is seamlessly beautiful I might add, is between “Weaker Girl” and “Mother Earth.” It might seem like an odd pairing, but it’s a reminder that she is multi-layered, and that for each time she is rough, she is also warmly tender. BANKS’ entire album is certainly full of soul, but with kind words and gentle vocals, “Mother Earth” stands out as the most soulful tune.

BANKS bears all and takes the role of an older sister, a kind neighborhood, a best friend, or a mother figure. The artist has had her fair share of heartbreaks and pain, so she’s reaching out to anyone who might listen. She’s gotten in touch with her roots and femininity, and she’s offering to be that shoulder to lean on.

Judas

Judas: the notorious biblical figure most famous for his kiss of betrayal. His name is now synonymous with traitor. In “Judas,” BANKS bites back at the treason her ex committed. Traitors always seem to be the closest people to us until… they’re not.

Too dumb to deal Too numb to feel the knife in my back

As a younger woman, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. Real life, altering situations can be hard to deal with, and hard to realize.

Beggin me for thread, I think you need to change your brain

This line is kind of a reference to BANKS back in her Goddess days. The tables are turned, now she’s the one with the power and control. She’s grown far beyond the timid and guilty woman she was on her debut.

Haunt

I’ve always felt that BANKS had a witch-y side to her, and “Haunt” slightly confirms my suspicions. The track is spellbinding with tropical beats and experimental production. It sounds like running through a dark, cold forest with crickets and animals of the night.

BANKS holds a steady tempo in an even tone for the duration of the track, almost like she’s hexing her ex. Although her vocals stay in the same range for the majority of the song, there are moments where she channels the lower BANKS growl that I love so much. The tenth track on the album perfectly describes the way we feel “haunted” by people that have left our lives when we most needed them.

Poltergeist

“Poltergeist” and “Haunt” are back to back, making for a sultry pair of songs. “Poltergeist” follows in the same manner, being disturbed by the thought of someone, even when they’re gone. The eerie track’s production does a good job of making the singer sound like she’s, for lack of a better word, possessed in some bits. This song is at the top of my favorites list at the moment because of the crafty lyrics. Again, I can’t stress the importance of her production; each line brings you into BANKS’ dark, twisted little world.

To The Hilt

“To The Hilt” is the only pure piano ballad on the record. BANKS’ vocals pair so beautifully with the piano, I wouldn’t mind a record full of just ballads. Her voice is light and gentle, like she’s trying to get what she has to say out before her emotions take over. Most her songs deal with romantic relationships, but on “To The Hilt” she sings about the pain of a friend leaving her behind in the music industry.

“We backed each other to the hilt Now I live in the house we built”

They’ve built this music, their brand, and now that she’s right where she wants to be, she can’t share with the person who helped her get there. It’s an interesting internal conflict: to be happy with success but be haunted by the person who aided your way there.

“You saw me as a superstar when i was in a cave You helped them to see”

The person she sings of believed in her when no one else did. He made her feel like she was capable of things, maybe when didn’t feel so capable.

“Hated you for leaving me You were my muse for so long Now I’m drained creatively But I miss you on my team”

Artists and muses have beautiful relationships, but sadly, one cannot work without the other. Not only does she miss having someone to help support her creative outlet, she simply misses the friend who’s been with her since the beginning: before BANKS was BANKS.

27 Hours

BANKS ends on a high note, with her voice loud and powerful as ever. By the end of the record, we realize that she isn’t as fragile as she used to be. She’s bold, brave, and sometimes, a little bit mean. The passionate feelings of love or hate that have been prevalent in each and every song are what make humans, human. It’s what makes soulful music honest.

“27 Hours” is her owning up to hurting a man, after telling him to stay away. She does not shy away from the incident. No, instead she’s open and unafraid to bear all, even if it means revealing her mistakes. It ends the album on a memorable note; it’s the kind of song that echoes through your head at night.

The Altar is the artistic, and personal, evolution of BANKS as she navigates her way through life, pain, and love. She is only human, and as humans we learn from our mistakes with no shame. This is pure BANKS, on her Altar, unafraid and uncensored. You can embrace it or you can leave it.

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