#trained by ventress! au

[furious-blueberry0]

Asajj gets trained by Ky Narec until she is a Senior Padawan, unfortunately due to a mission gone wrong, he goes into a coma for a few years, and so she has to finish her training under Dooku’s guidance.

[phoenixyfriend]

Poking at an AU where Dooku, after leaving the Jedi but before he Falls, finds Ventress, who has fallen but is also like seventeen and emo.

I know she personally hunts him down for training in CW'03, but. I want this aging queen of a man to look at an angsty wet cat teenage assassin and go I Can Fix Her.

Former Jedi Current Rich Guy Dooku going pspspsps to the screaming girl in KISS makeup that's trying to lop his head off.

He just wants to acquire a daughter. A villainous, murderous daughter who won't get Weird about it like poor Komari did.

[halfagone]

A Mandalorian Halfa Jedi?

I am thinking... about my Danny Phantom x Star Wars AU again. I mentioned this in the Haunting Heroes discord server, but imagine this:

Danny gets lost in the Star Wars universe, maybe they're part of the same universe, maybe not. We know that Earth technically exists there, so it's possible. Nonetheless, Danny gets lost and is eventually picked up by the Jedi. It is during the Clone Wars era, at the height of the war. Ectoplasm either functions the same as the Force out in larger space, or it easily passes off as the Force. Therefore, Danny is considered Force-sensitive and brought to the Jedi council.

He's far too old, older than even Anakin was, but he already displays some skill with the blade (thanks to his mom's training), and he's far too powerful with the Force to leave for the Sith or Dark Side users running about to find him. Those like Count Dooku or Asajj Ventress or whoever Dooku's master is (and, depending on the timeline, Maul and his brother Savage as well).

It's decided that Obi Wan should train him, since he did well with Anakin despite Anakin's older age for a youngling and lack of familiarity with Jedi customs and culture. As well as Obi Wan's own young age as a Padawan himself at the time. Surely, Obi Wan could whip him into shape and they need all the help they can get on the field.

Anakin does not like Danny at first. Not at all. He might have joked all he liked beforehand about Obi Wan getting another padawan, but seeing it happen is an entirely different experience. Danny gets along well with Obi Wan, with his dry, witty humor and his tendency for unorthodox strategy. Worse still, Ahsoka likes Danny. These two are peas in a pod, partners in crime. It feels like he's been forgotten and replaced and by someone seemingly better.

And then one day, when the 212th and the 501st are stationed together, he finds Danny shaking with night terrors, the Dark Side so strong in him Anakin is literally freezing from the cold. It's only then that he understands Danny a little bit better, and sees himself in this kid. Danny fights the Dark Side within him just like he does, and he never lets it consume him. Maybe for once, he can learn a little something from this kid too, and not let it overwhelm him.

And here is the part where I realized a golden opportunity:

What if the Jedi think Danny is a Mandalorian that was cast out for being Force-sensitive? Danny has an affinity for weapons beyond the blade, like cannons and guns and snipers. He talks about how his family taught him to use these weapons, that he's known this all his life. He talks about how his family wears suits all the time and hardly ever takes them off. He talks about always being afraid to reveal his powers to his parents, and how ultimately he ran away because of them.

Oh all the scenarios that could come out of this~

But now I'm also thinking about how strong Danny would feel in the Force. How much Danny could do on the battlefield because now he doesn't have to hold back. Droids might have more intelligence than a lot of sentients give them credit for, but if it's between the very alive, flesh and bone, clones of the Grand Republic Army and the Separatists' metal droids, Danny is absolutely going to be ruthless if it means the clones are safe.

Danny can literally control the weather. Imagine what happens when Danny creates an electrical storm for the first time to take down an enemy starship and the clones just look between themselves, whispering about how: "I didn't know Jedi could do that." "Is that how the Force works?" "Kriff if I know-"

And that's another thing! Clones! Danny would be absolutely appalled that so many clones were created and their freedom at the end of the Clones Wars is still up in the air.

It also ties beautifully with his love for space and now he's living the dream! Except space isn't what he thought it would be. And there are planets out here that have barbaric standards. It's the adventure of a lifetime! But there's a part of him that still wants to go home.

Just- all the possibilities and shenanigans this could bring. ✨

[voidartisan]

the thing about ventress is that she was basically raised and trained as a Jedi but by the time the clone wars are over I don't think she could ever really be happy with being officially inducted into the order. so in my no-o66 au this has morphed into her hanging around the temple and having a room there and eating their food and being unofficially adopted by the council and becoming part of their weird communal psychic village family but also no she's not a Jedi. where would you get that idea. idiot. never mind that she and obi-wan have been bickering in the Temple Senior Center(TM) every day for the last five years since they retired

[padawansuggest]

So. Y’all know that newer fic I made where Obi-Wan and Dooku get deaged and it makes Dooku light again cause it took away the insanity that being in the dark caused?

Yeah so I wasn’t gonna say anything cause this is a plot point all it’s own. But. It’s evolved so let’s chat a moment.

Ventress hears about Dooku getting deaged and it at first sends her into a rage, but then a spiraling depression.

The ghost of master Ky Narec shows up and begs her not to do anything rash. She’s crying and full of grief after losing TWO masters now and sorta just… wanders off to the planet where they got deaged… and ends up deaged herself.

But. In the process her master’s ghost is still there begging her not to do this because she’ll be just a little girl with no one there to take care of her.

And that grief ends up making him follow her all the way and. Ends up. Alive. Again. As young as he was when he first met Asajj.

But the difference is. He was a ghost. And therefore, different, he still has ALL his memories now. Being dead, watching his little girl fall, watching his bestie (in this AU it’s got a reason) take over her training and taint her further.

And now he’s looking into little five year old baby girl Asajj’s big eyes and just unable to do anything but absolutely fold to those confused eyes. Asajj is upset at all the changes but dada is still there and now he’s cuddling her and kissing her head like he does when they encounter something dangerous and walking them off to the nearest squadron of clones that were supposed to guard the deaging anomaly.

Anyways, they get back to the temple, Ky is upset and depressed, but Dooku is there and Ky has Some Words for him mostly threats that if Dooku drags their baby into the dark again he’ll neuter him, but yeah.

Now they’re platonically life partner raising Asajj who’s still baffled at it all but she’s got her da and even another da who just showed up and already has a bond with her! What luck she has, to be a happy healthy baby girl with two loving parents and getting cuddles! Wow!

Anyways. This all happens several months after the actual fic started, and so Asajj has been spiraling a while and yes I made myself tear up at giving her two loving dads.

[maulfucker]

Ok some thoughts about senator Maul AU because I keep thinking about it

Palpatine never finds an apprentice in this AU, so he ends up not being such a huge threat

The events of Phantom Menace only kinda happened - Naboo was attacked by the Trade Federation, but there was no Sith to pursue them and kill Qui-Gon, so things got resolved much more easily

Qui-Gon lives, so he gets to train Anakin, and Dooku doesn't get tempted by the dark side

I think Dooku still quits the Jedi Order, but this time it's because he feels like he could do more good as a politician than as a jedi. He keeps a good relationship with the Jedi Order and the Republic and doesn't become a separatist

Every time he's in Coruscant he visits Qui-Gon and Anakin (and Obi-Wan) and chats with them over a nice lunch, which is good because it gives Anakin a politician role model that isn't Palpatine, and a better perspective of his options - he can leave the Order if he finds a new purpose, it's not a betrayal or a failure

Maul was raised in Dathomir so he's not a sith murder machine, but since he's such a powerful Force-senstitive he was raised closer to his mother and the Nightsisters than to his brothers and the Nightbrothers

(Savage and Feral are alive and happy btw. They visit Maul in Coruscant sometimes. I think he might also have one or two sisters because why not)

He still doesn't like Jedi but it's like. He doesn't want to kill them, he just thinks they're way too limiting and self-righteous. Like how Obi-Wan doesn't like politicians

He rarely makes speeches on the senate, so hearing him speak is a rare treat

Picture holonet social media hornyposting under every clip of him speaking because he has a very sexy voice

His outfits are also pretty daring (read: sexy) compared to most (male) senators. The entire Dathomir delegation dresses pretty similarly, but he gets the most attention

Maul vs Padmé who wore it better type posts

He and Padmé have this weird kinda-rivalry because they're very opposite in a lot of ways, but they still vote on the same side in a lot of topics since they both have a very "I am doing this for my people" mentality

He also absolutely hates Palpatine because he gets extremely rotten vibes from him (he's more attuned to the dark side than the Jedi so he probably Feels Palpatine's dark side vibes better than the Jedi. He Feels Palpatine is Bad)

When/if the Jedi Order ever finds out Palpatine is a sith he will be very unsurprised

Ventress is a representative and Maul's "apprentice", learning the Senate life from him

I'm making her younger than her "canon" age here (by about 10ish years) because it makes more sense to me and because giving Maul a government-assigned baby sister is funny

From what we see in the movies each world seems to only have one senator but I want the Dathomir delegation to have at least two because I think it's more fitting (and realistic, every world needs more than one senator what the fuck)

I think it would be funny if Maul swears he's gonna quit soon and Ventress will take his place in the senate but then the other senator retires first and makes Ventress her successor so Maul has to stay a senator for longer. He just wants to get out of this fucking planet

On the Jedi side of this AU I think Anakin grows into a much more disciplined jedi because Qui-Gon the rules bender would definitely stay in contact with Shmi so Anakin's anxieties regarding his mom will be more controlled, and they would be contacted immediately when she gets kidnapped by the tuskens so they save her faster and she doesn't die and neither do the tuskens and everything is fine

Plus Anakin gets to know his new family better and have a brother and add a new dad to his collection <3

Maybe Obi-Wan gets Ahsoka as a padawan this time, so she can have a master who actually wants to teach, and also be kinda-siblings with Anakin and cause chaos with him while Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren't looking

The Separatists never really take off, so the clone wars never happen, but I think the attacks on senators that were happening at the start of AotC still happen because I think it's fun to have drama and have Jedi escorts assigned to senators (read: good excuse to set up an obimaul and allow the anidala plot to happen)

I want Maul to be miserable wet cats with Obi-Wan on Kamino so I am allowing the clones to exist. Purely for comedic plot opportunity. And because I love clones so I want them to exist

But I think this time they only made a single batch of like 10-100 clones and were waiting for the Jedi to get back to them with approval to make more

Maul sees this and goes "Absolutely the fuck NOT" so no more clones are made after those. Sad!

With Maul there to help the Jango fight is much more successful (and 50% less humiliating on Obi-Wan's side) so they capture him and no one has to die

Sidious had to hire Jango this time since I am not letting him have an apprentice, so Jango is like "I was hired by some old weirdo in a cloak who called himself Darth Sidious who sounded and looked a lot like the chancellor from Naboo" and Maul feels so fucking vindicated that YES the bad vibes he gets from Palpatine were correct can we PLEASE kill him now

Jango gets arrested and maybe he makes a deal to work under the Jedi instead of staying in jail so he can take care of Boba instead of leaving him to his own luck

Boba being raised with Jedi younglings while Jango is busy offworld....

The clones also become part of the Jedi Order so they can help Jedi with peacekeeping and defense and stuff

Palpatine gets found out and arrested and/or killed by the Jedi and everyone else gets to live happily ever after. Eventually.

... this is. Way longer than planned. I'm having fun

[loveoaths]

jedi maul: orderly, fastidious, a massive fucking nag, weird mix of rule breaker and rule follower, standoffish and sulky with a tendency toward the extreme. no one wants to give him a padawan and he doesn’t want to take one, but when he does wind up with one he trains them in the most extreme way possible, an unfortunate by product of his short but damaging tenure as a sith apprentice before he was brought to the temple at age 10. has definitely pushed a padawan off a building once so they’d learn to force pull and grab onto a ledge. (why is everyone mad at him. it WORKED, didn’t it?) surprisingly smooth and elegant despite his preference to solve problems decisively (or, as he’d call it, with “situationally appropriate displays of force” aka violence). despite this, he’s not at all an out of control jedi, though he will always struggle not to grasp for the dark side when scared. has a vague memory of having siblings and, despite many reminders not to, is secretly looking for them; this need to find his brothers could become an attachment if he isn’t careful, and becomes his biggest draw to lean on the dark side once again. has a complicated (read: negative) relationship to dathomir, and vacillates violently between wishing to know more about where he comes from and being angry that mother talzin essentially sold him to the dark side. his ongoing struggles have delayed his promotion to master. his insecurities make him believe he just isn’t good enough, which upsets him, when in reality his spirit is unsettled and the council doesn’t want to ask more of him until he’s ready. but maul has a Complex About Everything and thinks he’s being judged for being sith-trained. has a rival-friendship with obi wan (but if you ask him he will deny this. kenobi who?) oddly enough he’s good friends with depa. caleb dume likes to bicker with him. because of course maul would argue with a child.

jedi ventress: the chaos to maul’s order and discipline. even as a jedi she is a wild child, and enjoys causing problems for reasons. he avoids her most of the time, but he eventually becomes a peer-mentor-sort when he realizes she also struggles to stay in the Light. (alternatively, if she was significantly younger in this au, she could be his goblin padawan. he throws her off twice as many buildings.) if maul is pissed off, guaranteed either ventress, kenobi, or vos are involved.

[exonerin]

19

Okay, 19 is pretty cool. Let me give you some background first. When I graduated high school, I spent two years training to be an officer on cruise/freight ships.

I quit doing that to study (plasma) physics instead. But it means I have some knowledge on SAR (search and rescue). And since I loved it, I've been keeping up watching videos (and I know that that is a far cry from any qualifications, but I suppose I can't be stopped).

And I wanted to write a fic about the search and rescue thing so badly. Incidentally, this is the only modern Obikin AU I have written so far.

Here's the synopsis:

"Dear Mister Kenobi, you are my last hope. I did not kill my mother. She's out there. You're the only one who can find her."

Obi-Wan was no stranger to the family of victims contacting him, desperate for his help to find their missing loved ones. Something about the case of Shmi Skywalker stands out to him.

Maybe it's the images of the young man crying in a small court room, pleading his innocence, begging law enforcement to continue searching. Those images and clips plastered over the internet and newspapers. They haunt him.

Anakin Skywalker haunts him.

And if only a fool would search every damned lake around Naboo, then Obi-Wan fears he's guilty as charged.

Here's an opening snippet (and please bear in mind that this is not edited and just a wip):

"They moved here from Utah. Think middle of the desert, small town, he abuses her and she escapes with her son," Quinlan said, his voice pitched to engage an audience. He would draw them in with short sentences, creating a sense of urgency.

"Picture this; they need a place to go. And she has relatives in Oregon. Seems good, right? Well, she is convinced her partner knows where she is. They relocate numerous time. Then, they end up in Naboo. A small, peaceful village surrounded by forests, sprawling nature. She's convinced this is the place where he will never find her. A year later, she disappears."

Obi-Wan had read the newspapers and watched the podcasts. He could dream the headlines and bold claims.

Shmi Skywalker still missing, police scale down search efforts.

Nine-thousand culmative search hours yield nothing in search for single mother

Lake County swallows another victim. Will the body ever be found?

Accident or murder? The odd missing case of Shmi Skywalker

Foul play suspected. Son A. Skywalker (19) arrested.

Fruitless search yields no body.

A. Skywalker released due to lack of evidence.

The world had already spun a tale, a dreadfully tragic one in which Anakin had murdered his mother over cash and driven her and her car in one of the lakes around Naboo.

"Now, you must understand, this case is new. Very new. But we were requested to help by family."

Obi-Wan's hands balled into fists, though he kept his expression placid as Quinlan refered to the request. One letter addressed to him that he had inadvertently memorized.

Dear Mister Kenobi, you are my last hope. I did not kill my mother. She's out there. You're the only one who can find her.

Finally, Quinlan wound down his speech.

"That's it," he said, and Ventress nodded before cutting the recording. Finally, Obi-Wan pushed away from their van, joining the duo by the picnic table Quinlan had selected as the throne for his regaling.

==============

I know where I want to take it and what I want to write. Furthermore, it wouldn't be a big fic, so it would be relatively low effort. But I haven't found the time to sit down and write it yet because I'm working on so many other projects. Maybe next year. (This here is the reason I never get anything done!)

[jessepinwheel]

Oooh. About your parasitic extraction au? How do force sensitives live in the Mandalorian empire? Like you said conscripted, do they have a bastardization of Jedi culture? Are they enslaved? What is it like? Do canon characters live in the empire or in the Jedi Order in hiding? (I'm thinking Mace Windu, Depa Billiba, Plo Koon, and Ahsoka Tano mainly.) Also! Do other clones exist? Mainly the CCs. Wolffe, Fox and Bly lol

the mandalorian empire love having force sensitive warriors because they're extra strong and have superhuman reflexes so they do everything they can to get their hands on as many of them as they can

general practice is for young force sensitives to be 'adopted' by high-ranking mandalorian clans for training. if they're born into a less prominent mandalorian clan, maybe they can train their kid themself or they can surrender the kid. if the family is not a mandalorian family (e.g., one of the occupied worlds) they're supposed to surrender their force-sensitive child for training and this is considered an honorable thing to do. if they don't want to do that and try to get their child to the jedi order instead to save them from being conscripted for basically the rest of their life then usually their whole family gets killed and the child gets sent to a mandalorian clan as above (this happened to ahsoka and she hates the rebellion because she blames them for her family's death)

mandalorian jedi all wear collars which cannot be removed, and the collar denotes their rank. each mandalorian jedi is also assigned to a handler who is supposed to act as support and also is supposed to kill their jedi if they go off the rails (drink too much dark juice from all the murder and start killing everyone). a mandalorian's jedi armor specifically has an undefended back for this purpose. they're not *technically* enslaved because this is considered an honorable position and they get a lot of privileges but like. read between the lines here.

mandalorian jedi are basically all trained in combat and not so much in the psychic philosophical spiritual stuff because the mandalorians think that 'don't kill people' thing is for chumps and they burned down most of the jedi temple's libraries. they just don't know how to do the psychic stuff and most of the psychic stuff doesn't work very well when you don't teach them emotional regulation first. like a trial for all mandalorian jedi is that they get their kyber crystal and they're not promoted until they've killed enough people that it turns red. if that puts things into perspective.

anyways, the old jedi order is in hiding across the galaxy. they wear normal clothes and they got rid of the padawan braid because they don't want to be murdered on sight. instead of the braid, they use a set of prayer beads, which they carve and add beads to as they go through trials and visit different worlds, partially because prayer beads are really easy to dispose of in a hurry. they do have a base in dagobah though where they take care of and teach the youngest force sensitives.

re: who's who, there are a lot of canon characters on both sides. obi-wan, obviously, is one of the traditional jedi. he was mace's padawan when he got captured by jango. depa, plo koon, jocasta, yoda, and maul are all traditional jedi. obviously there are more, but those are the ones who get mentioned by name.

on the mandalorian side, we have ahsoka (whose handler is padme), anakin (whose handler was rex), qui-gon (who is dead), ventress (whose handler is isabet reau), dooku (whose handler is myles), quinlan (who is a spy trying to infiltrate the jedi order), also aayla and vokara che who kind of just briefly show up

the other clones mostly don't exist. I say mostly because when jango put in a clone order for two sons, kamino made three in case one of them didn't make it, but all three of them did make it and the third one is fox, who the kaminoans then put into the brainwashing factory to turn him into a brainwashed super soldier. and then when jango went back and asked for a new son because cody and rex disappointed him, they made three again and two made it. one of them is boba, and the other one I have named kiki. he is also put into the brainwashing factory.

which is all to say. being a jedi is rough as hell regardless of what side you're on.

ask me a question about parasitic extraction, the role reversal mandalorian empire au that I have

[aces-to-apples]

title ask meme: build it up, tear it down for jangakin!

For this ask meme

I think this would probably be a Jango Survives AU where he ends up embroiled in Separatist command nonsense—he despises Ventress particularly and she wants to fuck that middle-aged man so bad she's unwell—probably because Dooku made veiled veiled threats against Boba, nothing actionable, just takes an interest in him and his training that Jango finds sinister so he takes up a reluctant General position in the C.I.S. This of course pushes the Death Watch to become an equally reluctant ally with the Republic because if there's one thing Pre Vizsla hates more than Jedi it's Jango fucking Fett. During a joint-operation with the G.A.R. and the Death Watch, Ahsoka gets captured by the Separatists/left behind by DW with a small squad of clones. Thus begins Jango being forced to watch a tiny Jedi child go absolutely feral at anyone who comes near her pathetic collection of defective clones, and she seems to have some kind of grudge against him in particular. Eventually the Jedi he captured on Geonosis stages a rescue mission and Jango ditches whatever the objective was to get the hell away from the angry young father who clearly wants to take his head off for imprisoning his foundling (or however Jedi do it). Which then kicks off a slowburn enemies-to-something spanning the whole wars which ends with Jango dumping evidence that Palpatine was playing both sides of the war to stay in power all over the holonet and then fucking off from all of this nonsense. Anakin shows up like eight months later, he has a therapist and doesn't have a lightsaber, and Jango agrees to his own therapist and one (1) date. (It turns into a three-night stand and they somehow end up married like a month later. Boba never lets them live it down.)

[garden-ghoul]

my xX star wars/naruto crossover conceptz Xx

they're the exact same kind of trashy action fantasy you see. they even have the same major theme ("be careful when attempting to critique unjust systems of governance in a battle fantasy setting lest you decide they're too awesome and cool to continue critiquing").

anyway. please consider how perfect it is for sasuke to be a wee dathomirian zabrak who gets found by a jedi knight coincidentally in the same sort of way as ms ventress. after the classic dathomirian event of having his village destroyed for no particular reason by his adored big brother (itachi is a man in this au) for sith apprentice bridge burning reasons. turns up at the jedi temple age eight (shocking!!!) and practices to be the Perfect jedi so he can Get His Revenge.

contemplating what the star wars equivalent of sharingan might be since zabraks don't really have any kind of special power. maybe it's just an ability that he and itachi happen to share that's fairly rare for force users? I'll think about it.

it's kind of fun that there's really not that much hereditary ability stuff in star wars, and certainly not as fancy as you find in naruto. I feel like I'd emphasize more about training lineages that pass down special abilities and maybe do a thing where a bunch of padawans now have to be on teams because adult jedi are dropping like flies in the big war against the uhhh other schismatic jedi order from over there. that orochimaru count dooku'd out to found! obv!

ahhh if this takes place in a single galactic republic that would be soo fun? you'd get to play with "what exactly is the place of the jedi in the government." if this is a regional temples thing, maybe some number of star systems drop out of the republic because they need jedi protection! things get so much more interesting if you let the story admit that jedi have different spiritual philosophies and ideas about orthopraxy. the jedi order that's in league with a crime syndicate! the jedi order that decided the sith knew what they were doing! the jedi order that gets really aggressive about eradicating injustice! the jedi order that decided to teach safe dark side use! the possibilities are endless.

anyway the one we're in is the jedi order that's hoarding wealth and political influence to try to eradicate all the other orders. and sasuke is there being a maverick. and sakura is there being barriss offee. and naruto is there being iskat akaris (ie everyone's mean to him because his mom got pregnant and ran away from the jedi temple). truly you can find any type of guy you need for naruto already in star wars. I think kakashi is a regular degular obi wan.

[phoenixyfriend]

Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes

It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.

At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*

Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)

So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.

Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.

Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.

Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.

Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)

@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):

Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????

Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.

I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)

The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the original timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)

Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized

Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.

They point out that he is Baby.

😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.

Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.

At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.

(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)

It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments

Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.

!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]

The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...

He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)

Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.

Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.

the indignity

You just. You can't let him get too self-important.

Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.

The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.

Also Maul's there.

Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!

Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.

You know, the classic anime head bite

Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things

tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit

Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.

They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊

They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.

Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).

Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)

I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there

Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation

Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension

* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.

[itstimeforstarwars]

Writing Patterns Tag Game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @phoenixyfriend!!

Lava Cake (Galidraan AU, Arla Fett & Rex)

“Would you like to go shopping with me today, Rex?”

The Muddler and The Joxter (Joxter & Hodgkins & Muddler) (this isn't even star wars lol)

On the first day of spring, Hodgkins awoke from hibernation.

Cody’s Day Off (Cody/relaxation)

Cody woke up, and he didn’t have flimsiwork to do.

Three Jedi, Two Clones, and One Force Anomaly (Cody & Rex & Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka, plus ensemble platonic relationships, Galidraan AU)

When Master Dooku had landed on Galidraan, it was to stop Mandalorians from committing senseless muders.

Unusual Train Delays on the Scrapper Line (Cal Kestis & Prauf, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ezra Bridger, SpectObi AU)

When a Mandalorian fell through the roof of the train, everyone immediately decided that was not their problem.

An Ordinary Date Night (Anidala, Ahsoka & Anakin & Padmé, Ahsoka & Rex)

“Ani!”

Right off the gangplank, Anakin was almost tackled into a hug.

For Old Times' Sake (Quinlan & Obi-Wan, Quinlan/Obi-Wan, Quinlan/Ventress, Padawan At War AU)

The door slid shut behind Obi-Wan, cutting him off from Anakin and the others, and plunging him into total darkness.

Carbon Scoring and Conversation (Ezra Bridger and Obi-Wan Kenobi, SpectObi AU)

Obi-Wan Kenobi, newest member of the Spectres, stepped into the sonic fully dressed, minus weapons.

Alliances, Treaties, and Improvised Planning (Codywan, CWW Sith AU)

It had been a long day.

Blankets and Night Time Thoughts (Codywan)

It had been a long day.

You know, I was gonna make a joke about Phoenix making me realize that I start all of my fics in the exact same way, and then I got to the last two, which I LITERALLY started in the EXACT SAME way. So. Lmao. Either the first sentence gives you a character and important action, or it was a long day. Considering that one of those fics was written five years ago and only posted last month, I've clearly had this pattern for a while.

I tag @thefoundationproject, @ranger-jedi-knight, @campfire-octopus, @personontheswing, @kckenobi, @tarantula-hawk-wasp, and anyone else who wants to play!

[voidartisan]

there’s gotta a be a Star Wars au out there somewhere where ky narec manages to get in contact with the Jedi again and they bring him back to the temple along with tiny ventress and one day they go over to have tea with qui-gon when his old master happens to stop by, makes eye contact with ventress and immediately has an Oh No moment.

And all of Sheev’s carefully laid plans are ruined bc Dooku had to go back to the order to train this kid. sorry

[nicolabarth]

Sithywan Polycule AU Masterpost

I've been asked for this, so here it is.

This is for the AU in which Qui-Gon and Obi-wan fail to protect Padmé on Naboo. Qui-Gon lives and takes Anakin as his padawan. Driven by his failure and the sense of a rising darkness he throws himself into training the Chosen One completely, casting Obi-wan aside in the process. Obi-wan starts talking to Dooku more and more and finds himself agreeing with the sentiment that the Republic is rotten from the inside, but not with Dooku's idea of what to do about it.

Obi-wan's descent into the dark side is slow, but when he finally falls, he decides to take the Republic over his own way. He manages to kill Palpatine with the help of his several lovers and sets up his own empire.

Emporer Obi-wan

Ventress/Maul

Quinlan/Maul

Quinlan/Maul (again)

Quinlan

Maul (nsfw)

Attack on the Emperor

Fic by dathomirdumpsterfire

[kanerallels]

@eglerieth 74: Vostress training Wraith Squadron. This au is INCREDIBLY specificly tailored to me and my sister's niche interests. It's set in a happiness au where Wedge Antilles still forms Wraith Squadron (the Legends black ops squadron that is not unlike Alphabet Squadron because they're all hot messes)

But this time, when he forms it, he asks for help in training them! From former Jedi/Sith, current bounty hunters, Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos! I have a surprisingly long fic written about this that I might not ever share all of-- it's from a while ago, so it's not as good. But I hope you enjoy the part I'm gonna share here!

“Did you ever think you’d live to see the day when you were renting a building to a pilot from the Republic?” Quinlan Vos asked.

His partner, Asajj Ventress, rolled her eyes. “No, but I never thought I’d be helping them train a black ops division, or that I’d end up dating some stupid Jedi who follows me everywhere, yet here we are.”

“You are so sweet when you try to be,” Vos said with a smirk.

They were standing on a tall tower directly across from the building Wedge Antilles had told them about around five days ago. To Vos’s deep amusement, they’d soon realized that the building was one that Ventress actually owned, and had for a few years. Hence why he felt absolutely no remorse about their current plan.

“So, are we sure this thing will hold me?” he asked, eying the thick cable they’d run from the top of the tower they now stood on to a spot just about a tenth story window.

Ventress shrugged. “Either it will, or you’ll end up looking really stupid. Just don’t die and leave me to teach Antilles’ brats by myself.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Reaching down, Vos grabbed a metallic strap with loops on either end. Flicking one end over the cable, he slid his hands into the loops and glanced at Ventress. “Kiss for luck?”

Arching an amused eyebrow, Ventress leaned forward and brushed a slight kiss against his lips. Vos was about to kiss her back when he felt her grab him by the shoulders and shove him off the building, sending him flying down the makeshift zipline they’d created.

Hastily centering himself, Vos could hear Ventress laughing as he shot forward towards the other building. Despite himself, he felt a smile twist his lips, exhilaration buzzing through him. Hanging thousands of feet above the ground with only a cable a few inches thick holding him up was the kind of thing a lot of people, especially Jedi, would call foolish. Vos called it fun.

The window shot towards him, and Vos reached out with the Force, pushing against the glass. The strength of his  blow cracked the window seconds before he crashed through it with a shattering of glass, releasing his grip on the cable to dive forward in a quick somersault, landing in a crouch before glancing up at the room he’d just entered.

There were a handful of beings in the room, a somewhat even mixture of humans and aliens— they were certainly a unique bunch. However, one thing they all had in common was the fact that they were staring at Vos with varying degrees of shock.

Straightening up, Vos gave them a breezy grin. “Sorry I’m late. Forgot where the Temple was.”

For a moment, no one spoke, then a dark-haired man with a long scar across his face asked, “Who are you, exactly?”

Vos’s memory clicked through the files of the Wraiths he and Ventress had gone over the night before. Garik “Face” Loran, Wraith Eight, he recalled. Child actor, and continued his acting career up until he was mugged and badly scarred, when he left the stage to join the Republic. Drummed out of two squadrons for back-talking his commander— either I’m gonna end up really liking this guy, or he could be trouble.

“I take it Commander Antilles didn’t tell you,” Vos said calmly. “I’m here to assist in Wraith Squadron’s education— well, me and my partner.”

“Is your partner going to have an entrance like that, too?” asked a dark-skinned young woman— Officer Shalla Nelprin, Wraith Twelve, Vos thought. Martial arts expert, previously worked for a Coruscanti police force. She was also the only one holding a blaster, which she’d clearly pulled upon his arrival. Good instincts.

“Nah,” Vos said, shaking his head. “She’s way better at dramatic entrances than I am, so she’ll be able to pull something truly excellent off. Now, let’s get down to business. I’m Quinlan Vos. About a week ago, Commander Antilles hired me and my partner to help train you guys in our areas of expertise.”

“Which is?” The person who spoke was the green-skinned Twi’lek Dia Passik, a former slave and friend of Caleb Dume, which was definitely an endorsement in Vos’s mind. Anyone as in love with his wife as Caleb was was okay in his book.

“Well, quite a few things,” Vos said easily. “Infiltration, destabilization, eradication— oooh, I should write that down. Essentially, we specialize in the area of finding who we’re looking for, getting into the places we need to go, and looking really cool while doing it.”

“You’re bounty hunters.” The man who’d spoken was a dark-haired man with a somber expression. Ah, Myn Donos, Vos thought, giving him a thoughtful look. He was a Corellian pilot who’d lost most of his squadron earlier the same year, and joined Wraith Squadron a few months later.

“Among other things, yes,” he agreed. “We’ve done quite a few things, though. Our current profession, for instance, is to whip Wraith Squadron into shape.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Vos didn’t need a file to recognize the blonde woman eying him rather warily. He’d met Tyria Sarkin on a few occasions, along with her master, when they’d worked together. She’d come across as smart, if a little wary of him and Ventress at the time.

Grinning at her, Vos said, “The same way I do everything. With unconventional methods and good looks. But in all seriousness, let’s just say my partner and I have a few solid plans.”

“And who is this partner of yours?” asked the tall Thakwaash named Hohass Ekwesh, who’d been nicknamed Runt by his kin. Which was either ironic or seriously worrying, because Runt was over six feet tall.

“Oh, you’ll meet her soon enough,” Vos said casually, and didn’t miss the glances exchanged between a few of the Wraiths. Clearly, they were skeptical about how trustworthy he was, but they’d either get over that or they wouldn’t. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was if they’d listen to him.

“If Commander Antilles hired you, why didn’t he tell us who you were?” Kell Tainer demanded. The tall mechanic and demolitions expert gave him a deep frown, his arms folded across his chest. “Did the Republic send you?”

“Not… exactly,” Vos said. “But I am on their payroll— thankfully, since I doubt Commander Antilles could afford both me and my partner. But the fact of the matter is, the Republic and I are on... somewhat shaky footing, shall we say?”

“So, you’re a criminal,” Donos said flatly, and Vos gave him a dramatically horrified look.

“Lieutenant Donos, you insult me,” he said. “If I was a criminal, would I also be a bounty hunter? No, because then I’d have to arrest myself.”

“That makes absolutely no sense,” Shalla said.

Vos shrugged. “Maybe not, but I can assure you of this— I am not wanted by the Republic. Anymore. Tyria, back me up.”

All eyes turned to Tyria, who shrugged. “He’s right, the Republic doesn’t have a bounty on his head— although that doesn’t exactly mean you or your partner can be trusted, does it?”

“You’re biased, though,” Vos said.

“And I have a good reason to be!”

“Hey, we needed a decoy, and you and Sierra were right there! We couldn’t have Kenobi catching us, now could we?”

Glaring at him, Tyria said, “We were stuck in that jail cell for three hours!”

Vos barely managed to hold back a laugh, clearing his throat instead. “Well, you got out eventually. And you don’t even have a criminal record, so…”

“I kind of want to know what happened now,” said the cyborg man that Vos’s persistent brain reminded him was Ton Phanan, the Wraith’s medic. Yes, I know, he thought at his brain. Now could you please stop with the tour guide knowledge?

“Not a chance,” Tyria said coolly. “Let’s just say that Vos and his… partner aren’t always the easiest to deal with.” Pausing, she added reluctantly, “But they probably are the best to teach us in this situation.”

“So glad you think so,” Vos said with a smirk. “I’m sure my partner will be, too.”

“I think it’s about time you told us who your partner is,” Kell said with a scowl. “Your hints have been… concerning, to say the least.”

“Ouch,” Vos said. “What, you don’t trust me?”

“Should we?” Kell shot back.

“We don’t care.”

The cool, smooth voice of Asajj Ventress came from the back of the room, and everyone turned as she stepped out from a shadowy corner, her hands on her hips. Vos had no idea how she’d entered the room so quietly, but he wasn’t surprised, either. He was, however, deeply enjoying the stunned expressions on the faces of most of the Wraiths. Donos’ eyes were narrowed in Ventress’s direction, and Phanan was smirking, although Vos suspected that was just his resting face, but the others just stared in pure shock.

There were a number of reasons they could be staring, obviously. It could be the fact that Ventress had just appeared when she’d definitely not been in the room originally. It could be because she was carrying her energy bow from the Nightsisters, which was pretty conspicuous. It could have been the dark, spidery scars that patterned her skin, marking a failed attempt on her life.

But when one of the Wraiths finally spoke, it became pretty clear that those were not the reasons all of them were staring. “Asajj Ventress?” Phanan said. “Are you kidding me? I thought you were dead.”

“Death is a social construct,” Ventress said dryly, and Vos had to smother a snicker.

“We’re being taught by a Separatist assassin?” Phanan asked. “Um. Why?”

“Because I’m smarter than all of you,” Ventress said bluntly. “And someone has to teach you to keep yourself alive, don’t we?”

“Considering you supposedly died twenty years ago, are you sure you’re the best person to teach us that?” Phanan said, his voice a little too amused. “And there’s also the fact that you used to work for the Separatists, so…”

Vos tensed slightly, but didn’t react. He and Ventress had discussed the possibility of someone bringing up her past, and she’d made him promise that he’d let her handle it, which he had very little problem with.

Strolling forward until she was face to face with the cyborg medic, Ventress spoke in a cool tone. “Do you have a problem with being trained by me?”

“The Separatists did lose the war,” Phanan pointed out, not looking nearly nervous enough about the current possibility of his demise. Face Loran, who stood next to him, wore a grimace that seemed to say he was pretty sure his friend wasn’t going to survive this encounter.

Ventress smiled, and it was not a nice smile. Before Phanan could react, the woman lashed out, slamming her fist into his jaw. As the man stumbled back, Ventress caught her foot beneath his, and another blow to the face sent him to the ground with a thud and a groan.

Stepping back, Ventress dusted her hands off, looking satisfied, as the door to the room hissed open and Wedge Antilles stepped inside. He took in the scene before him at a glance, looking relatively unfazed.

“Vos, Ventress,” he said, nodding to them. His eyes flicked to Phanan, still on the ground, as he added, “I see you’re breaking in the squadron, that’s good. What are your thoughts?”

“Insubordinate with smart mouths and an inability to keep their thoughts to themselves,” Ventress said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. “But who knows? They might amount to something.”

“I reckon we can whip them into shape,” Vos said easily.

“We can only hope,” Wedge said, his voice amused. “I’ll give them your terms, and make sure they’ll abide by them.”

Turning to the group of Wraiths, most of whom were looking either unsettled or amused, he said sharply, “Attention.”

They all snapped to, and Face hauled Phanan to his feet. The cyborg had blood dripping from his nose, and Vos caught Ventress smirking in satisfaction. Phanan himself didn’t seem terribly worried about his nose-- instead, he was actually grinning.

“Wraiths,” Wedge began, ignoring Phanan’s somewhat disheveled state, “these are your new teachers, Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. As you know, Ventress has a reputation as an assassin, and also is presumed dead. Therefore, I’ve agreed to keep their arrival here under wraps, particularly Ventress, and you won’t be speaking of it either. Additionally, you will follow their orders as you would follow mine, unless you think an innocent person might be put in danger because of them. Is that understood?”

The Wraiths murmured their agreements, although Vos caught a spark of reluctance from Myn Donos. Wedge glanced at Phanan. “Will there be a problem here, Flight Officer Phanan?”

“No, sir,” Phanan said cheerfully. “I actually have no problem with assassins, so there’ll be no problems whatsoever.”

“Glad to hear it.” Turning away, Wedge said, “Vos, Ventress, I release them into your capable hands.”

“They may live to regret that choice,” Ventress said, a wicked gleam of amusement in her eyes. Wedge laughed, and headed for the door.

As it closed behind him, Vos turned to his new students. “Well, let’s talk business. You’ll have two main classes, so to speak, every day. Ventress will be conducting a physical fitness class, and I will be handling tactics. Past that, every so often we’ll give a couple of you a test of some sort that will be a situation you might find yourself in. Call that one your improv class.”

“Oh, good, something I have some experience in,” Face joked, and Vos couldn’t hold back a grin.

“I think your expectations for an improv class might be a little different than ours,” he told the former actor. “Our first class starts in—” he glanced at Ventress. “How long?”

“Five minutes,” Ventress said. “And you’re the teacher, so don’t be late for once.”

Vos snorted. “I wouldn’t bet on that. In that case, you guys have five minutes to get to the sixteenth floor of the building. Tactics class is in the lounge-- whoever gets there first, open the window.”

“Why?” Kell asked.

“Well, I can only break so much glass in this building before Ventress starts fining me,” Vos explained with a smirk. “Don’t be late, Wraiths, or you’ll regret it. Dismissed.”

As the Wraiths made their way out of the room, Ventress let out a sigh. “That’s what I love about the military. You say dismissed, and they all have to leave. I should have joined much sooner.”

Vos chuckled. “You would think of that as a benefit.” His expression turned thoughtful. “What do you think?”

“Of the Wraiths?” Ventress snorted derisively. “They’re not much to look at, are they? And the cyborg is an idiot, but they might amount to something.”

“I suspect Kell Tainer and Lieutenant Donos might give us a little trouble,” Vos said. “They don’t trust us, is my guess.”

“Tainer will just watch us from a distance,” Ventress said. “If anyone’s going to talk to Antilles about it, it’s Donos— and probably the Republic, too.”

“He gave his word— besides, he’ll obey orders,” Vos said with a shrug. “Military types always do. Either he’ll get used to us, or he’ll give Kenobi a heart attack— which would be pretty funny.”

“Amusing as I’m sure you’d find it, I’d prefer the Council didn’t know I was here.” Ventress’s tone was dry, with a hint of wariness in it, and Vos glanced at her.

“We’ll be okay,” he told her softly. “Donos will go to his commander, not the Republic, and Wedge will politely tell him to chill out. You’re not getting outed just yet. After all, Dume didn’t tell.”

“He told plenty of people,” Ventress responded with a roll of her eyes. “They just happened to be all the right people.”

“Like me,” Vos said with a grin, which Ventress reluctantly returned.

“Yes,” she agreed. “Like you. Now get a move on before you’re late for your first class. Oh, Vos?” she added as he moved towards the window.

Vos turned back. “What?”

“You have glass in your hair,” Ventress told him.

“Whoops.” Vos brushed a hand over his head, sending a few shards of glass to the floor with a clink, then stepped to the edge of the window. Sticking his upper body out, he grabbed the ledge above the window, hauled himself up, and began to climb easily, making his way up to the sixteenth floor.Let’s see what these kids are capable of, he thought with a grin.