#traditional family dinners where you can eat the things everyone else is excited about

[fffinnagain]

There are so many normal things I am bitter about. Stuff people are known to enjoy that for whatever life reasons make me feel bad instead.

We all have those, though, so even if we aren't bitter about the same things, SOLIDARITY!

[truelahey]

The Lost Potter extra scene: The Cousins

Originally posted on AO3

Read The Lost Potter on AO3

Albus’ reunion with the extended family isn’t so smooth-sailing. Rose can tell from a mile away. So she finally takes a chance to talk to him alone.

This one-shot is part of a series of one shots taking place in "The Lost Potter" verse. You will have to read the original fic to understand these.

This one is focused on Rose & Albus and mentions Scorbus in the background.

_____

Rose hadn’t really thought about how this wasn’t going to be a normal Christmas afternoon.

For years now, the tradition on Christmas day was that all of the Weasley families would gather at the Burrow for dinner all together. What would start as an exciting and energetic afternoon – filled with talking, celebrating, and lots of kids stumbling around the Burrow doing Merlin knew what – would wind down into a cozy evening with a fire in the hearth, a brisk cold outside, and family members with full bellies relaxing late into the night before finally going home. It was something everyone looked forward to every year.

Rose in particular liked bragging to her grandparents about how excellent school was going, playing and hanging out with her cousins, and eating all the delicious food. She only saw the Christmas tradition as something happy and cozy.

She was eager for that same feeling when she stepped up to the door of the Burrow and let herself in. But she wasn’t greeted with the usual hello and hug from Grandma Molly. Because Molly was too busy crying while she was crushing Albus in a fierce hug.

Oh, right. Albus was here now.

No one even noticed when Rose walked in the door. Her parents got a quick hello, but there was no other acknowledgement while their attention was taken up by Albus. The same thing happened when others started to arrive too. Quick greetings in passing from her aunts and uncles, all of them brushing past so they could see Albus again. In between it all, Rose did see Albus sneak her a wave before Grandma Molly enveloped him in a hug again.

This start to the event was a pretty good indicator about how the day ended up going. Albus got all sorts of questions before and during dinner, with the entire table going quiet to listen to his boring answer to their dull questions. Did Albus play Quidditch? What was his best class? Did he have a girlfriend? Rose rolled her eyes at that one, and she wasn’t surprised when Albus said no, and also didn’t mention that he was more likely to have a boyfriend instead, and a Malfoy at that.

At least her family had a little bit of tact regarding the elephant in the room. They didn’t ask him about any of the serious stuff. Rose was well aware that Albus was over having to talk about that.

She noticed very quickly how much quieter Albus was today compared to when they were, say, hanging out at school. Albus was still on the introverted side, but she and the gang had managed to pull him out of his shell once they got to know him. Because he really was just a normal kid like any of them. His best subject was Potions, he liked reading, was pretty good at drawing, he hadn’t lost a game of Gobstones yet, and had a bad habit of stealing things here and there.

Which was why it was so baffling for Rose to see Albus on this pedestal again. Albus was just a normal kid, just another Weasley cousin. And everyone was treating him like a shiny new toy instead. And Rose would see as the evening wore on that Albus was retreating into himself again. His answers were short, he stumbled over his words, ducked his eyes away, and fidgeted a lot.

For his sake and her own sake, Rose hoped that after dinner, the focus would shift to anything else.

“I’ve never been more scared in my life.”

No such luck.

Rose stopped in the threshold leading into the living room, where many of the adults had gathered. Everyone was circled around and watching Harry while he was talking. “And I’ve been scared plenty of times. But seeing my son again, and a few seconds later he’s unconscious on the ground…”

Rose immediately stepped away. The story of the night on the Quidditch pitch made her shiver. But what really made her skin crawl in that moment was seeing Harry just now. The fear in his expression, in his furrowed brows, his hunched shoulders. It was exactly the way Albus looked when he recounted that night to her and their friends. They had snuck up to the Astronomy Tower late one night, and it was Yann who was brave enough to ask Albus and Scorpius exactly what they’d gone through. Until then, none of them had known all the details. So Albus told them, gripping Scorpius’ hand like a lifeline, like he was reliving the night right then and there.

Like father, like son. Rose was happy to avoid that conversation tonight.

In the shuffle after dinner, all the cousins drifted off in different directions. The younger ones were playing some sort of game upstairs. Most of the older ones were in another room, and James, Freddie, and Louis had gone outside to go for a “walk.”

Albus was nowhere in sight.

Rose checked each room, and didn’t see him anywhere. He definitely hadn’t been involved in the game, and she was certain he hadn’t gone with James…

Until she got to the top floor and found Albus inside the last bedroom - her dad’s old bedroom, actually - leaning out the open window to the cold air outside.

“Are you finally getting some space up here?” Rose asked.

Albus jumped when he turned around. But Rose saw him visibly relax when he saw her. “Oh. Hey Rose.”

Rose crossed the room and joined Albus by the window. Both of them leaned against the sill, the chill of the cold air a stark contrast from the warmth inside the Burrow. Above, it was a clear night with stars peeking out from behind the clouds scattering the sky. Below, Rose could just make out the figures of a few cousins hanging out in the farm fields.

“How’s your first family Christmas dinner going?” Rose asked.

“It’s…good,” Albus replied.

Rose hadn’t any moments alone with Albus before. They didn’t interact at all before this whole thing came about, and after all that she only interacted with him when they were in their group. She knew when he was getting quiet and nervous, but she was never the one to deal with that. That became Scorpius’ forte.

The two of them were so close now, Rose had to wonder how that happened so fast. Fast enough that Rose could tell they had to be more than friends, at this point. And they were either dancing around the subject or they were being obtuse. Either one was a possibility.

But Rose set that aside. They’d figure it out sooner or later. If they hadn’t already.

“I would imagine tonight is overwhelming,” she continued. “Especially with this family. You know there’s so many of us.”

“Yeah…”Albus replied. Rose noticed his fidgeting fingers again. She was just thinking she may have to try harder to get something out of him, but surprisingly, Albus continued a moment later. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“The whole family downstairs…I don’t remember anyone’s name and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”

Rose couldn’t stop herself from laughing at that. Albus smiled as well, and visibly relaxed a little bit. “You don’t remember any of them? It’s only been a couple hours, Albus.”

“The whole night’s been kind of a blur…” Albus glanced at her briefly. “I feel bad. They’re all family, you know? I should know them.”

Rose nudged him with her shoulder. “You barely remember your immediate family. I think you can have a free pass to forget your extended family. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Albus smiled and nodded.

“And since you’re being honest, I am going to be honest too.” Rose paused briefly while Albus glanced at her. “I forgot you were going to be here.”

Albus’ brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Albus, “ Rose shifted to face him a little more. “We never, you know, admitted we were cousins. Or whatever we were supposed to do. Never mentioned it at all. You must have noticed that too. And maybe that was on me to say something but…when you came back to school and you were you , I never thought about how we are actually family. And you became my friend. I just treated you like everything was normal.”

Rose wondered if that was in big part due to how she treated this whole situation growing up. She vaguely remembered Albus before he went missing, but largely he was just the missing cousin they didn’t talk about much. Not at home, not at family gatherings like tonight. Not much, at least. She did remember over the years overhearing his name mentioned in a solemn tone over dinner, or walking in on a quiet conversation where he was mentioned, and inevitably someone’s eyes would always turn red and watery. The topic was always floating around the family. But she had never had any involvement in the topic. As a child, it was a thing she could ignore.

But staying un-involved wasn’t the right thing to do anymore.

“But it’s not normal. Not really. I never admitted you were my cousin who was missing.”

They lapsed into silence for a few moments. A few stories below, whatever game the kids were playing had gotten a little louder, and the group hanging out outside had wandered a little further away, not even visible in the dark anymore. Rose shivered a little when a gust of wind blew past.

It was Albus who broke the silence. “You know it’s okay that you treated me that way.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sometimes I need it,” Albus said. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And I’m over all this attention everyone’s giving me. I thought it was over by now but…” He shrugged. “I never wanted to be this…spectacle.”

Rose was looking at Albus. Though she had ignored the topic thus far, it really was fascinating that Albus had been through all he had been. All at once he looked like the shy kid she occasionally shared classes with at Hogwarts, the missing Potter child, a member of her family and her friend, and a young fifteen year old.

“That’s why you were quiet around everyone today. Because they treated you like a shiny new toy,” Rose said.

“Yeah,” Albus replied. “That and there’s so many of them…though I guess we’re all family now. I’ll get used to it or they’ll get used to me.”

“Everyone here means well. And we’re happy you’re home.” Rose put an arm across Albus’ shoulders. She smiled when she felt him lean into it too. It was good to have her cousin back.

She could now see a future with more Christmas dinners and Albus fitting right in to the family. Moments at school where she could confidently call Albus her cousin. More normalcy in the chaos around them.

“Albus,” Rose started. “Before we move on completely from the topic of you going missing and everything. I just want you to know that none of us ever believed the theory that Harry killed you and there was some sort of coverup.”

“Wait, what?”

Rose pulled away, clapping her hands together. “Okay. Now that that’s out of the way. Come on.”

Since no one lived in this room anymore, there wasn’t much to be found up here. But Rose did manage to find a quill and notebook to rip an empty page out of. She motioned Albus to the floor, where they both sat down and Rose started to write out names of her family members with lines drawn between them.

“Right. This is your mum, dad, and siblings. Your mum’s the youngest and only girl of seven kids. My dad’s the second youngest…”

Rose continued on, Albus watching with rapt attention. Wrapped in the warmth of the Burrow against the chilly winter's night, they settled in. The Christmas tradition was feeling like normal again. Now it would be even a little better than it had been in the past.

[itlivesproject]

What would the LIs wedding would mc look like?

This question is a little bit tough, since it depends on the MC! So we'll just share what the LI's ideal wedding would look like.

Lincoln:

He'd want something super small. More than like twenty people and he'd start feeling overwhelmed. He'd only want his closest friends and family members there (and by family not his dad, but like cousins or grandparents on his mother's side. yeah i don't think matty is invited srry). honestly he probably wouldn't mind just getting married at city hall with only you and like, three other people, but if you don't do that he'd probably just want to rent an air bnb with a beautiful yard and have a small reception outside followed by a catered dinner with his favorite foods. He'd definitely wear a barong and incorporate some other filipino marriage traditions into his wedding, such as lighting the unity candle and eating rice cakes. After dinner, you'd spend the night dancing with your few guests until the two of you leave for your night alone ;) That being said, this is Lincoln's ideal wedding. If you wanted something different, he'd be willing to follow your lead and go along with what you want for the wedding, as long as it's not too big or crazy.

Amalia

She would want something formal, nice, organized, and beautiful. She would be happy to take total control of planning. There's really no need for a wedding coordinator if Amalia's the one you're marrying. She'd want a lot of people to be there -- her family and friends and professors and teachers in her life who mean a lot to her. She'd find the perfect, most beautiful venue and spend hours there, figuring out where everything would go and how it would all fit together. She'd love to have an outdoor wedding with beautiful gardens and fountains. Her vows would be incredibly romantic, heartfelt, and eloquent, and everyone would start crying. After you get married, you'd sit down to eat at fancy lovely tables with place settings. You'd have all types of fancy rices and freshly made juice and lasagnas and chicken and beef and salad, basically all you can eat. The different bridal parties would perform fun, sexy dances for each other and after that, the party would quickly turn up in excitement. At the end, you'd get driven off in your car together and head off to your honeymoon ;)

Abel

Above everything else, Abel wants his wedding to be fun. It probably wouldn’t be anything particularly fancy, but he would want a nice heartfelt ceremony. Something small if only because neither Abel nor MC have very many family or friends. Still, they’d invite everyone, and Abel would definitely shed a tear during the ceremony. Afterwards he’d have an after party that goes down as one for the record books. A band, mariachis, endless dancing, piles of food, nonstop alcohol, a massive cake big enough for everyone, and another just in case. He would spend most of the night with MC, twirling you around the dance floor. He’d dance with each of his siblings and then all of them together. He’d also drag all of his closest friends onto the dance floor, and yes this means the ILW crew. He’d probably get pretty tipsy, and be the happiest drunk on earth, gushing to everyone about how awesome his spouse is. Everyone has fun at Abel’s wedding, otherwise he doesn’t consider it a success.

Jocelyn

Jocelyn wouldn’t have many preferences when it comes to a wedding between herself and MC. She already knows that she wants to spend the rest of her life with MC, so this is just a formality so that the rest of the world knows it too. But if she had to choose a few things, she’d want the wedding to be somewhere meaningful in hers and MC’s relationship. Her friends (which really just consists of the ILW crew) and her family would be invited, so it would likely be pretty small. She’d get food catered from her favorite restaurant, and would have a live band for music at the reception. She’d dance for hours upon hours with her new spouse, and when people start to head out she’d sneak away with you for some alone time >:) As for her culture, there's a tradition in Chinese weddings where the bride's new shoes can't touch the ground until she gets to their new home, so the groom has to carry her from her old home into their wedding home. Jocelyn might not care for tradition but she will carry her spouse alllll the way home (picture her carrying MC up 17 flights of stairs to their apartment). But in all honestly, she’d be perfectly happy with whatever MC wants to do because all she cares about is being MC’s for the rest of their lives. 

[jandewrede]

Why Scottsdale Is The Best Place For Savoring Sushi Platters?

Scottsdale is a city which is known for its amazing desert landscapes, emerging culture of food and vibrant art scene. Scottsdale offers outstanding and delicious sushi platters compared to other places which will be a delightful choice for people who are fond of japanese cuisine

In this blog we will take you on a little tour to explore the world of sushi platters in Scottsdale, the place where professional skills of chefs and flavorful ingredients come together to come up with a dining experience like no where else.

Why You Must Try Sushi Platters In Scottsdale?

Scottsdale is traditionally famous for its mexican and southwestern flavours. These flavours have been a part of major transformation in recent times. Sushi platters in Scottsdale are embraced globally by sushi enthusiasts. It offers a diverse range of options in sushi from fusion to traditional which includes techniques of japanese with mediterranean and southwestern influences.

Here are few reasons why you must try sushi platters:

1. Fresh and Flavorful Ingredients

The exceptional sushi platter is the result of the strong base foundation of the quality of ingredients. Each ingredient is selected with utmost care to make sure there is enjoyment of flavour in each bite either it is finest avocado, succulent salmon or delicate tuna. Sushi restaurants here are always known for their strong commitment towards producing and sourcing fresh seafood.

2. Artistry in Presentation

Scottsdales chefs take the great credits for their professional and creative creations. Sushi is more of a visual satisfying type of culinary. Every piece of sushi is created with utmost care and affection, not only to make sure of an amazing blend of flavours but also to give a treat to the eyes.

3. Traditional vs. Fusion

If you are one of the people who wants to experience a traditional journey, then scottsdale’s sushi restaurants offer a wide range of sushi experiences. Sushi platters that have sashimi,nigiri and rolls that are an indication of japanese culinary traditions can be found. 

Suppose if you are in the mood of exploring then there are different sushi options that represent different cultural influences which is a result of exciting and unique flavour combinations.

4. Diverse Sushi Rolls

One of the best things about sushi platters is that they have different varieties of sushi rolls available. In a place like Scottsdale, you will find a wide range of options which includes rolls like california roll to specialty roll which includes avocado and cucumber or a professional taste with varieties of ingredients you will find in scottsdale.

5. All-You-Can-Eat Sushi

Sushi restaurants in Scottsdale cater for both dedicated sushi lovers and occasional dinner. All-you-can-eat sushi deal is one of the recommended options for the people who are looking to conduct an experiment about sushi offerings in the city and want to explore them. Many places offer all-you-can-eat sushi deals, which will allow you to enjoy the famous sushi creations without breaking your bank balance.

6. Vegetarian and Vegan Options

Scottsdales’s concern of cooking is aware of the dietary preferences of its visitors and residents.The choice of ingredients in sushi is selected by making sure that it is enjoyed by every sushi lover. Sushi restaurants offer a wide range of vegan sushi and vegetarian choices which includes ingredients like cucumber, avocado and sweet potato which is the centre of taste. These choices make sure that the sushi experience is enjoyed by everyone.

Conclusion

A Scottsdales sushi platter is more than just a meal . It is considered to be an experience of a journey through tasteful flavours and creativity. It is celebrated as a tradition and innovation and as an elegant way to build a strong connection with family and friends. 

If you are a newcomer or a sushi lover then make sure you visit Wok N’ Roll restaurant in scottsdale offer a variety of choices to satisfy the cravings. So next time if you are planning on visiting this beautiful desert city don't miss out the opportunity to visit Wok N’ Roll for best sushi platters in Scottsdale.

[paviliongeelong]

Unforgettable Moments: Finding The Perfect Wedding Venue For Your Big Day

Looking for a venue for your wedding can be exciting, but you may also feel overwhelmed by the number of options out there. If that's the case, don't worry! This guide will give you some tips on how to make sure your perfect Budget wedding venue Geelong is also an affordable one.

Don't be afraid to get creative with your space.

As you're scoping out potential venues, it's important to think about how each space could be used. In most cases, there will be a main room for guests and another for the ceremony or reception. But don't let this limit your creativity! You may find that by combining two rooms into one big space and removing some walls, doors and/or furniture you can create something truly unique.

For example: if there is an adjoining room that's adjacent to your dance floor but not visible from it (for example: behind closed doors), take advantage of this opportunity by opening up those doors during dinner service so that guests can see each other eating while they're waiting their turn at the buffet line--and vice versa!

Identify your must-haves.

Once you've figured out the who, when and where of your wedding, it's time to start thinking about how you want it to look. The first step in narrowing down venues is identifying your must-haves. This will help narrow down your options by eliminating those that don't fit what you're looking for in a venue. Here are some of the most important factors:

Location: Is it near family members? Do friends live nearby? Is there easy access from other cities or states if necessary (for out-of-town guests)?

Style: What kind of space do I want my guests walking into on the big day--a rustic barn with antique farm equipment hanging from its rafters? A modern art gallery with soaring ceilings and lots of natural light streaming through floor-to-ceiling windows? Something more traditional like an elegant ballroom or elegant ballroom with vaulted ceilings? Or something else entirely! There are so many different types of spaces available for weddings nowadays that there's no reason not find one that fits perfectly into whatever vision you have in mind!

Decide where you'd like to see it all go down.

If you've got a vision for the perfect wedding, it's time to start looking around. A great location should be easy to get to and access for guests, vendors and even you!

The location should reflect the style of your wedding: If you're planning an outdoor party with lots of flowers and greenery, then it makes sense that your venue would have plenty of room for all those decorations. But if rustic digs are more up your alley (think barns), then there will probably be less space available for decorations--and maybe even less electricity available as well? It's important that whatever place is selected works with both your theme and budget so everyone can enjoy themselves without having too many hiccups along the way (or worse yet running out).

Make sure there's enough space: Another thing worth considering when choosing where exactly this magical day will take place is how much room there actually needs to be available in order for everything planned out beforehand go off without any major issues later down line like overcrowding during cocktail hour or having trouble finding parking spaces near entrances due its being located too far away from where most cars would drive up via roadways leading up to them - especially if they don't have designated areas set aside specifically designed just like hotels do which often requires additional fees associated with renting out space outside their main building itself.

Conclusion

wedding venues can be overwhelming, but it's important to remember that your wedding venue Geelong is just one part of your big day. You'll have plenty of time to pick out flowers and decorate tables before the big event, so don't stress too much about finding the perfect location right away. Instead, focus on what matters most: having fun with friends and family while celebrating this special moment in life!

Source - https://paviliongeelong.blogspot.com/2023/05/unforgettable-moments-finding-perfect_25.html

[animeomegas]

Omega!Itachi Getting Married

Anon:  Helllooo!!! I was wonderin if u could write for omega itachi getting married. I'd really appreciate it :)

(Hello! Hello! This is the oldest request in my inbox, so I hope this ends up being worth the wait! Enjoy~ <3)

Warning: implied sexual activity

General headcanons - Non-massacre AU:

Itachi has always known that he would get married someday.

After all, it was his duty as clan heir.

But he never expected to actually love his mate. He was required to angle for a politically/socially advantageous match and he had made his peace with that.

If he had to marry someone to keep peace between clans, he would. If he had to marry someone his parents chose for him to keep conflict in the family down, he would.

Itachi’s fatal flaw is that he doesn’t see his comfort/happiness as important.

And while he looked forward to his future children, his future spouse was a neutral event. It would happen, whether he wanted it to or not, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Best case scenario, he might have a new friend, or at least someone he respects, to live with him.

Worst case scenario, he ends up in a horrible marriage. He tried not to think too much about this option.

He never expected there to be any love between him and his future spouse.

Until he met you.

He found a person who actually loved him. An alpha who was as dedicated to a future family as he was. A partner who respected him more than he had ever hoped.

And Itachi fell hard and fast.

So, when you proposed, he felt like everything he had never dared to hope for was coming true.

You went to get his parents’ permission first (and the permission of the clan by proxy) and did the proposal in front of them. It wasn’t ideal, you knew Itachi would be happier with a private proposal, but you also knew that Itachi wouldn’t believe that he had their approval unless he saw it first-hand.

Itachi and his family are very traditional, so you weren’t mated before you got married, instead, you mated on your wedding night.

Itachi is very happy to let his family dictate the wedding. He doesn’t care as long as he’s married to you at the end of the day.

(But he does have preferences that you can extract from him, but getting Itachi’s true opinion, can be like pulling teeth.)

Proposal:

You had known Itachi since you were both 18, two years now. You had been courting him officially for a year and a half before you proposed.

As I mentioned, you proposed in front of Itachi’s parents, to make sure that he knew that you had gained their approval.

Sasuke was also there, after years of bribery, finally accepting of you and Itachi’s relationship. You met Sasuke when he had just graduated from the academy, and he was not impressed by this new person stealing his brother from him when he wanted Itachi to train him ☹

For Itachi, it was a normal family dinner.

He definitely noticed that you were behaving nervously, but he knew his family could be stiff, overly traditional and a little intimidating, so he figured that was the cause of your discomfort.

Sasuke was also staring at you suspiciously the whole evening, but to be honest, sometimes Sasuke was just like that, so Itachi thought nothing of it.

You kept a hand on his knee for the entire meal, only letting go of him when you announced that you had brought dessert for everyone and would be happy to serve it.

Itachi smiled his gorgeous smile at you, so pleased to see you making an effort with his family (or perhaps he was smiling about the desert, Itachi’s sweet tooth is legendary after all. It was difficult to tell.)

Nervously clenching your hands, you walked over to the fridge, pulling out the plate of dango you had hidden in there earlier. It was Itachi’s favourite, and if there was anything to convince him to say yes to your proposal, it was a demonstration of how much dango you were willing to buy for him.

‘Don’t mess this up,’ you said to yourself, gingerly sliding the plate of dango out of the fridge. It was an elaborate platter that had cost far too much. There were seven different dango flavours with an assortment of dips and dressings, arranged artfully with fruit and dried flowers to decorate the plate.

You walked to back to the table and presented the plate with a dramatic flourish to hide your nerves.

Itachi’s face lit up. Despite your nerves, his obvious excitement put a smile on your face. He really was perfect.

And that’s why you can’t mess this up.

“There’s anko, green tea, sesame,” you pointed at each flavour as you listed them. “Hanami and…er… some other ones…?”

Sasuke scoffed at your embarrassing failure to recall the flavours, causing a red flush to creep up your neck. You didn’t even know that there was this many dango flavours before yesterday! Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, perhaps due to the sharp look Itachi had shot at him.

“I made sure to get enough for everyone, but there’s something I’d like to ask for in return.”

You could see Itachi trying to catch your eye, probably to ask what an earth you were doing, but you purposefully avoided looking in his direction.

“The only thing I ask,” you continued, nervously. “Is for a minute of your time before we eat dessert.”

Mikoto smiled at you and nodded for you to go ahead with a gentle wave of her hand. Sasuke simply raised an eyebrow at you but didn’t interrupt.

“Great,” you laughed nervously. “Um, so, er, Itachi.”

Itachi straightened under your sudden attention. He looked immensely uncomfortable and confused, he was probably panicking about you doing something in front of his family that you would regret. He always played liaison between you and his family to avoid conflict and was probably not comfortable with you doing this. Unfortunately, he would never believe that you had his parents’ approval if you didn’t propose in front of them.

“I’ve known you for two years now, Itachi,” you started, finally looking at Itachi in the eye. “And it sounds horribly cheesy, but I think that I fall in love with you more every day.”

A barely audible gasp left Itachi. He was a genius, after all, he had probably figured out where this was going. He looked torn between panicked and elated, seeming to settle somewhere around shell-shocked.

“I’ve come to realise recently that, a life without that love, without your love, isn’t a life that I want.”

You can just about see tears gathering in Itachi’s waterline. It doesn’t look like he’s breathing at all.

With one final rush of bravery, you pulled out the diamond ring that had been weighing down your pocket for months and knelt down onto the dining room floor.

“Will you marry me?”

Itachi’s head whips around to face his parents, most likely preparing some serious damage control. But when he sees his mother’s gentle smile and his father’s subtle nod, he slowly moves his gaze back to you. You’ve never seen him look so shocked before. It was almost amusing enough to distract you from your nerves. Almost.

“I-,” Itachi swallowed hard. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say what you want to say, Itachi,” his mother replies, trying to encourage him.

His mother’s words seemed to break him out of his stupor and Itachi breathes out a single word.

“Yes.”

You let out a delighted and relieved laugh, taking Itachi’s hand in yours and slipping the ring onto his finger, and even though his family were all watching you, you couldn’t help but pull him into an embrace.

“I love you so much,” you whispered to him. “I’ll read you my real proposal speech this evening.”

Itachi laughed into your shoulder. His laughter had a hysteric edge to it, his mind still clearly reeling at what you had just done.  

“Real speech?”

“You didn’t think I was going read my real proposal out in front of your parents, did you? No way. They still think we’re virgins and I didn’t want to spoil that illusion for them.”

Itachi quickly and efficiently jabbed you in the stomach and hit you with his infamous glare.

“Okay, I deserved that,” you winced, gingerly rubbing the sore spot.

Finally, you pulled away and moved to dish out the dango. And if Itachi got the biggest portion, well, no one mentioned it.

   Planning:

Itachi lets his clan take over the planning.

He doesn’t want to deal with the stress of having to combat his family at every turn and would much rather just let them do it. As long as you’re there with him, nothing else really matters.

But even when his clan leave the smaller decisions up to him, he’s hesitant to voice his opinions, wanting his alpha to make them as an apology for his family commandeering everything.

But if you pay attention to little signs and reactions that Itachi gives, you can figure out some of his wants and desires.

Overall, there isn’t much to say about the wedding planning, because Itachi doesn’t do much of it.

Things he wants (compromise available/no compromise allowed):

Sasuke as his groomsman and Shisui as his best man – Itachi doesn’t have many close friends or relatives. He has you, Sasuke, Shisui… er, he’d probably invite his old captain Kakashi and… well, you get the point. So, every person who is important to him needs to be by his side at his wedding, and who is more important than his best friend and little brother.

A traditional wedding – He isn’t actually that bothered by what type of wedding he has, but he knows his family and clan will insist on a traditional celebration and as I mentioned, he doesn’t want to fight. The elders will push the wedding to be held in the clan compound and Itachi would be told to wear a traditional Uchiha wedding garment.

A sweets cart – This is something that he won’t bring up, and therefore isn’t bolded, but it’s very easy to see his face light up when he sees this in a wedding catalogue. It’s a wooden cart with different jars of sweets with little scoops for people to help themselves to. Itachi loves sweet food, obviously, but he also thinks it would be something the children in the clan would adore. He kind of really wants one, but he won’t bring it up unless someone else does first.

An early wedding – He won’t fight you or his family about this, but ideally, he would like to get married in the morning, maybe around 8 or 9 AM. Itachi is definitely an early bird who prefers the ambience of the early morning which is part of the reason, but mainly he just wants the performative part of the wedding over and done with so he can start his honeymoon. He doesn’t find it appealing to spend all night pretending to tolerate the elders of his clan who will almost certainly spend their time berating him for his choice of partner and then telling him he needs to have as many children as possible because he’s a powerful ninja that will produce powerful children. He just doesn’t want to deal with it. Leaving at 6 PM with you to go on your honeymoon and finally, finally mate? That sounds much more fun.

To try and conceive on his honeymoon – Obviously, he’s not going to force anything if you aren’t ready, but he would really love to start trying to conceive straight away. He’s desperate to have his own children, firstly, but also, he knows this is his only ticket to retiring from being a ninja. He wants to retire so badly, and so if you’re both ready for children, he doesn’t want to wait.

 The wedding:

You don’t see Itachi for a day before the wedding, as is tradition. You see him for the first time that weekend when he’s walking down the hall towards you.

And as Fugaku walks Itachi down the aisle, you are completely breathless.

He looks stunning.

His hair had been intricately platted with flowers, some lose strands of hair left to frame his face.

He’s wearing a deep red, formal kimono just as you expected, but it looked so much more beautiful than you had imagined.

He looked like royalty.

The whole ceremony flew by, and before you knew it, it was time for you and Itachi to say goodbye and leave for your honeymoon.

Your honeymoon was to be had at a cabin held deep in the woods on the Uchiha compound. The rule was that married couples could not be disturbed for anything other than a life-or-death emergency, so you would be completely alone.

It might have been nice to go abroad, but the Uchiha clan didn’t want Itachi to be distracted by his honeymoon outside of Konoha where he might be attacked and his eyes stolen.

You both had already been by to drop off everything you would need for the week, including clothes, food, games and toiletries.

So, now, all that was left was for you two to get there yourself.

You and Itachi had decided to amble your way to the cabin, taking your time to enjoy each other’s company after a day of socialising with everyone but each other. Not to mention that neither of your outfits were particularly well designed for gallivanting through the forest. It would be rather embarrassing to have to end your self-imposed isolation to go to the hospital on day one, so walking slowly was probably a good idea.

You had been walking for about thirty minutes so the cabin should be… There! You were there!

“Wait!” you shot out a hand to stop Itachi from entering, startling him slightly. “Don’t go in yet.”

Itachi furrowed his brows, absently blowing a stray hair from his face that must have fallen down during the walk.

“I… want to carry you inside,” you admitted bashfully.

Itachi chuckled but stepped closer to let you do it. You beamed at him, pressing a kiss against his lips as a thank you. He looked a lot more tired than this morning; his hair was falling out of its elaborate placement and the makeup you were sure he was coerced into using was a little smudged.

He really was the most beautiful person you had ever met.

With his permission now gained, you placed an arm around his shoulders and another arm behind his knees, before gently lifting him off the ground. You nuzzled Itachi’s neck, enjoying his content scent and the way he sighed happily at your attention.

With your husband firmly in your grasp, you nudged open the front door with your foot and stepped safely over the threshold. You carried Itachi all the way to the bedroom and placed him down gently on the bed.

Itachi leant up to steal a kiss.

“Bringing me straight to the bedroom, you are incorrigible,” he teased, kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable on the bed.

“I-I wasn’t, I didn’t mean that!” you sputtered, flushing under Itachi’s laughter. Silence fell over the room for a moment as the exhaustion from the day swept over you both.

“Would you mind helping me out of this kimono, please? I think it’s time for something a little more comfortable.”

It took a solid ten minutes to get Itachi out of his clothes and into some pyjamas. Ten minutes and a lot of swear words as every layer seemed to be hiding another one underneath.

“This wasn’t how I imagined undressing you on our wedding night, that felt a lot like pass the parcel but somehow more stressful.”

“Oh?” Itachi questioned, pulling you to sit down on the bed with him, finally free from the constraints of his wedding attire. “How did you imagine it?”

Rather than answer with words, you pressed wet kisses over Itachi’s neck, smirking against his skin as you felt his hand come up to grasp at your hair and a gentle moan escape from his lips.

This was definitely going to be the best part of the celebrations.

[andtheydontstopwriting]

The Fourth or Bust 【Rodrick Heffley x GN!Reader】- One-Shot

rating: pg

genre: just pure fluff

word count: 1323

summary: it’s your first fourth of july that you actually do something on associated with the holiday, and let’s just say it won’t be a bust at all.

author’s note: this is based upon whatever universe i created with curses and easier, but made this version gender neutral! as usual i am still growing and working on my skill so feedback is always appreciated!!

The Fourth of July was a holiday you had not exactly celebrated before. Growing up in the Upper East Side of New York, the most that would happen was watching fireworks from a distance, but there would be no party or no cookout, not even a hotdog or hamburger. Even if your family went camping, it was not the traditional sort of camping. It was luxury cabins in the woods, and a grill or campfire was never even considered. It was boat rides, swimming and drinking for the adults and expensive fish for dinner. 

So when your family moved out of the city and into a small town in Massachusetts, things started to change. Well, they did not change for your parents--maybe your mother who went to drink with her friends she had made since the move, but your father would prefer to keep up traditions and only went to the parties his co-workers would throw to ensure things would only be kept strictly business. 

For you and your brother, however, it was an entirely different story. Your brother went to the bigger parties, thrown by one of his friends. Where you went to a neighborhood thrown celebration party with your boyfriend, Rodrick. 

It apparently was one his and his family went to yearly, and he was just excited that he could bring someone that was both his age and someone he enjoyed to be with to the party this year as his dad had made it clear none of his friends could go, considering it was thrown by his neighborhood rival dad. But Frank had taken a liking to you and thought you were a good influence, so allowed you to go. 

When the Fourth finally rolled around, though the wait was not long as it felt it had only been a couple days since school had let out for the summer, you were up bright and early as Frank had told you to be at the Heffley’s house nice and early in the morning and you headed to that instruction. Getting ready was quick and to the point, trying to not overdo it with a simple shirt and a pair of shorts to withstand the warmer weather, slipping on your sneakers before leaving at the front entryway of your home.

                                                      :~+~:

Okay, so you were a few minutes later according to Frank, but in reality you had arrived at the time Rodrick told you to be there--around 10 or 11. So maybe it was late, but also not late at all. But according to Mr. Heffley it was as he had to run by whatever nonsense rule and expectations there were with the entire family before going into ‘enemy territory’ for the afternoon. Susan assured you that you’d be fine no matter what, it was mainly for her boys to stay out of trouble, but Frank did not want to signal them out that summer.

The party itself was what she expected whenever she saw or thought about a typical middle class suburban Fourth celebration would look like and be like: flag decor everywhere and the only thing in sight aside from red, white and blue, was chips, hot dogs hamburgers, cakes and cupcakes and whatever snacks associated with a backyard barbeque would have. While it was not your first to have these sorts of foods, as it was becoming increasingly common the longer you stayed in Plainville, it did not make the excitement to have them around any less momentous for you. You have learned to contain this excitement, often utilizing the seen not heard tactic you and your brother used as young children attending a high society party to conceal that excitement. Though judging by the amount of both yours and Rodrick’s plates, it was clear. 

“Got enough food there, babe?” Rodrick asked, looking at the food on the paper plate in your hand.

“You shouldn’t be talking, sweetheart.” You countered with a slight laugh, “But I don’t know when I’m going to have this stuff again, so gotta take advantage of it.”

“I’m sure if you tell my mom that, she’ll make sure we’ll have hot dogs and hamburgers every time you come by,” Rodrick pointed out before eating a chip, adding with his mouth full, “She loves you that much, after all.”

“I may just have to do that then.” You agreed though you were not sure if you would actually do so, but it would be a nice thought and something to use for the future and rest of the summer if she was ever craving a hot dog or something later on. 

The barbecue during the day was quite fun though you could tell Rodrick was getting over it really fast as the day dragged on because there was not a whole lot to do until night started coming and the fireworks were to begin. But there was something you had found enjoyable about the non-business, non-formal party in the backyard of someone’s house that kept you entertained in the summer heat. While you knew that staying so long in the summer heat most likely was not the ideal situation, but regardless you enjoyed it. 

With dusk approaching, that was the agreed upon time the Heffley family would leave to head to the town’s firework show, as it was the time most of those who went to that backyard party would be leaving, too. The fireworks were also something you had been invited to, and you did not have to be asked twice because fireworks were the few things that your Fourth of July shared with everyone else. There was something special about them, though the loud noise was not an ideal, the colors were worth it.  

Driving out to where the fireworks display was...was something, largely because it was you driving you and Rodrick behind the Heffley SUV, and the entire ride was Rodrick complaining about the day they had.

“I almost punched Greg about three times this afternoon, and I can’t even tell you why.”

“Why did it have to be so hot out? This tan line is gonna suck so much.”

“If it weren’t for you, I probably would have actually punched Greg now that I’m thinking about it…”

You could only smile and attempt to respond back to anything he was talking about, but they were all in rapid succession as they often were. You had noticed that when you two were alone, Rodrick’s thoughts simply just...came out without much of a filter and sometimes without pause. Whatever came across his mind, he said if he knew he could do so when you were around, largely because if it was just you, he knew you would not get him into trouble. It showed how much he really trusted you, and it made your heart swell just thinking about it.

And this feeling only increased as the family and the pair of you had arrived at the fireworks show. Instantly, as it often did when out in public, Rodrick felt he needed to keep you close and his arm went around your shoulders as Frank led the family and yourself to the best spot he could find to watch the show. It was a nice change of pace to be with a family who loved each other, deep down anyway, despite the chaos they held in everything they did. 

Once the show had begun and you had settled yourself against Rodrick as you both looked up at the sky lit up with exploding color and shapes, the smile on your face never did fade once. Though, you felt a pair of lips on her head and turned your head up to look at Rodrick, who was looking at you with the out of character softness you had only seen a handful of times.

“You know, you’re probably one of the best things in my life.”

“I think I can agree with that.”

[spine-buster]

Patience is a Virtue ft. Matthew Tkachuk | 𝒯𝑒𝓂𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒

CONTENT WARNING: this story deals with cults, polygamous cults, escaping cults, strict adherence to religion, gender roles, abuse, miscarriage, and a character with a traumatic past. ̲𝖳̲𝗁̲𝗂̲𝗌̲ ̲𝖼̲𝗁̲𝖺̲𝗉̲𝗍̲𝖾̲𝗋̲ ̲𝗌̲𝗉̲𝖾̲𝖼̲𝗂̲𝖿̲𝗂̲𝖼̲𝖺̲𝗅̲𝗅̲𝗒̲ ̲𝗁̲𝖺̲𝗌̲ ̲𝗆̲𝖾̲𝗇̲𝗍̲𝗂̲𝗈̲𝗇̲𝗌̲ ̲𝖺̲𝗇̲𝖽̲ ̲𝖽̲𝖾̲𝖺̲𝗅̲𝗌̲ ̲𝗐̲𝗂̲𝗍̲𝗁̲ ̲𝗍̲𝗋̲𝖺̲𝗎̲𝗆̲𝖺̲ ̲𝖺̲𝗋̲𝗂̲𝗌̲𝗂̲𝗇̲𝗀̲ ̲𝖿̲𝗋̲𝗈̲𝗆̲ ̲𝗆̲𝗂̲𝗌̲𝖼̲𝖺̲𝗋̲𝗋̲𝗂̲𝖺̲𝗀̲𝖾̲𝗌̲ ̲𝖺̲𝗇̲𝖽̲ ̲𝗌̲𝖾̲𝗑̲𝗎̲𝖺̲𝗅̲ ̲𝖺̲𝖻̲𝗎̲𝗌̲𝖾̲.̲ Please be warned.

Word Count: 15,503

A/N:  I have been loving your feedback on this story so far.  Your canon question about Matthew and Effie are great and I would love to hear and answer more.  It means the world to me that a plot this...unconventional, let’s say, is really taking hold and generating interest.  I know that there’s some really, really serious stuff dealt with in the chapters, so I appreciate everyone’s feedback and maturity about it.  As always, please check the content warning for this chapter.  Otherwise, I hope everyone enjoys the update!

                                                          *     *     *     *     *

She wrote every message on Instagram like an email, and Matthew couldn’t get enough of it.

Hello Matthew,

Today was interesting.  I started classes for my business certificate today.  I sat in a room with about 50 other people and I listened to my professor speak about the course prospectus and what we would be learning and doing.  I didn’t meet any new people or make any new friends but that’s okay.  I want to focus on my studies.  I already have homework.

How has St. Louis been?  I bet you are excited to be back home.  I hope you are relaxing and staying safe.

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

I know you are going to ace that program, Effie.  You’re very talented and smart and it’ll be no time until you find yourself with a certificate and able to explore more job opportunities.

St. Louis is good.  Brady and Taryn are home too so it’s good to be surrounded by family.  I know it’s not the same for you but one day I think you will find a group of friends that will make up your family.  Most days I go golfing with my dad.  I usually relax by our pool too, or play basketball or some other sport with Brady.  I go to the gym too, to keep up on my fitness for next season.

*

Hello Matthew,

Class was good today.  We started the beginning lectures.  The professor went quickly but I was able to keep up.  I’m definitely learning how to type fast on my laptop!

You said in your message that I’m very talented but I don’t think I’m talented.  I’m maybe talented at some things like baking, but I don’t think I’m talented in much else.  Talents are developed over time and I was never given the opportunity to develop anything because I was expected to be a good wife, tend to children, and read the Bible.  Sometimes I think about if I could have been a piano player or a singer or something creative.  Maybe I could have been a writer like Geneviève if I was given the opportunity young, but I wasn’t.  But that’s okay.  I am trying to make my peace with it.  I will develop what I have now and try to use it for good.  

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

Nobody bakes like you, Effie.  Please don’t think you are not talented, because you are.  I know you weren’t able to develop anything like you said, but you can still find your talents now.  You’re still young!  You’re only entering your 20s in a few weeks.  You can do whatever you set your mind to.

*

Hi Matthew,

Levi and Jenna took me to the mall again today.  We bought some new clothes that fit me better and aren’t so baggy.  They look really nice.  I even bought a dress that falls right at my knee.  Can you believe it?!  I never thought I’d wear something like that.  I never thought anybody else would be able to see my legs!  It’s a very weird feeling but it’s a very pretty dress.  Jenna said I should wear it for my birthday and I think I’m going to do it.  Do you want to see it?  I can send you a picture of it if you want.

I checked the weather in St. Louis and saw there was a big thunderstorm.  I hope you weren’t caught it in or anything.  I can’t imagine your curly hair getting wet in the rain and what it would look like.

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

What are you trying to say about my hair??????????

I would love to see your dress.  I bet it looks great on you.  And you will need to send me pictures of you wearing it on your birthday.

*

They happened daily.  Usually sometime after dinner, when Matthew knew Effie had just finished eating and was either winding down for the night or preparing to do homework.  Every day, he waited for the message.  And every day, he’d grab his phone the second he heard the notification, not bothering to wait, and read the message eagerly.

***

Matthew found himself at a raucous house party, one that could have been characteristic of any stereotypical college experience or American movie trying to depict a traditional American life.  It felt like it was straight out of the American Pie movies.  A friend of his was hosting, and there was everything – beer kegs, jungle juice, trashed guys jumping into the pool, music blasting so loud Matthew almost couldn’t hear his own thoughts, girls taking selfies and posting to Instagram or complaining about boys at the party not paying attention to them.  

Hot girls taking selfies and posting to Instagram or complaining about boys – he and Brady – not paying attention to them.

Brady was taken and accounted for – Emma was great and Matthew loved her, even though he saw her only sparingly – and so most of the attention tonight was placed on Matthew.  He was the shiny new toy every time he came back to St. Louis in the summers – well, shiny always, but new not so much.  Nothing was new about him being in St. Louis in the summer, but everybody always treated is as such a big deal because he spent most of the year in Calgary.  That’s why attention was always on him, especially at parties like this.  That’s why everybody wanted to talk to him.  That’s why all the girls wanted to talk to him.  Matthew didn’t want to think about it.  He wanted to enjoy his night with his buddies, drinking beer and chatting them all up.  

That was…until Leah made an appearance.

Leah, a girl.  Leah, a girl he would hook up with in the summers…occasionally.  Sporadically.  Like, once a summer when he was back.  Maybe twice.  She’d always show up everywhere and smile and be nice.  And when Matthew was tipsy, or just a little bit drunk, he’d think ‘What the hell’ and let the night take him where it wanted to take him.

Just like now.

“Hey Matty,” she cooed, smiling as she always did and biting the bottom of her lip.  She went in for a hug, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.  He could swear she spilled some of her jungle juice on his neck.

“Hey Leah,” he said, his lips in a tight smile as she pulled away.  She was wearing a frilly crocheted top and cut-off denim shorts.  She looked hot.  Any guy at the party would have wanted to hook up with her.  “How are you?”

“Better now that I see you,” her flirting was automatic.  “How long have you been back for?”

“A few weeks,” Matthew shrugged his shoulders.

“And no call or text?  Ouch, Matty.”

“You always show up places,” he found himself saying, feeling his lips curve into a smirk.  “Didn’t think I needed to call.”

“Well then maybe I should have sent you a text.”

The party went on.  Matthew hung out with his buddies and talked up a storm.  Everybody got a kick out of his hockey stories and were practically begging for more.  He’d catch Leah staring at him from a few friend groups away where she stayed with her girlfriends, or from across the backyard or something, and she’d always bite her lip and flutter her eyelashes.  The beers kept pouring down his throat and he noticed her get closer and closer until she wiggled her way in with her friends.  It probably took a while, but in Matthew’s mind, it felt like it was only a minute until she was right in front of him, red solo cup in her hand.  

“Have you tried the jungle juice?” she asked.

He shook his head.  “I’ve been drinking beer all night.”

“Come get some inside with me,” she said, already grabbing his hand.  She wasn’t taking no for an answer.  She pulled him as he staggered behind her, almost tripping on the steps of the patio and while walking through the screen door.  When they finally got to the kitchen, Leah looked over her shoulder and winked before tugging Matthew nearer to her body.  She spun around in front of the jungle juice to pour some more into her cup.  When she did, Matthew could feel her ass up against his groin.  He felt like he was going to pass out from the beer.

“Did you miss me, Matty?” she asked as she looked at him over her shoulder again.

“I miss everyone in St. Louis,” he replied.

Leah apparently didn’t like that response, because she grinded her ass up against his groin even harder now.  “Don’t say that,” she cooed.  “I know you miss me.  It’s not like there’s anybody in Calgary like me.”

Matthew hummed.  She was right.  There wasn’t anybody like her in Calgary.

Effie was nothing like her.

Matthew’s stomach twisted as images of Effie flooded his mind.  The first one that came was the day he had picked her up at the hairdresser’s when she’d chopped off all her hair.  She looked so cute, and he remembered how bashful he was.  Then came the image of her sitting on another couch watching Little Women intently, at least fifteen bags of candy spread out on the coffee table of Levi’s basement.  She was so into watching the movie, and he was so into watching her.  Then came the image of her face, sweet and innocent and beautiful – the last face he saw in Calgary before heading to the airport and boarding a plane to St. Louis.  “No,” he mumbled out, half-drunk and heart aching.  

“No,” Leah repeated with a smile on her face, turning around finally to face him before trailing her finger down his chest and letting in linger on the hem of his jeans.  “There’s nobody in Calgary like me.”

He furrowed his brows.  He wanted out, but his feet felt like cement.  They always were when he was on the edge of being drunk.  He gulped.  “Where’s Brady?”

“Come with me, Matty,” she tugged at his jeans before grabbing his hands again and dragging him through the house.  She kept looking over her shoulder to smile at him and he kept looking back towards the backyard.  “I know what you need.”

She led him down a hallway, and at the end of that hallway was the bathroom.  She turned on the light and dragged him inside, shutting the door behind them and locking it.  She looked at him suggestively when the click filled the air.  “Le—”

“Shhh…” she pressed her finger against his lips to shut him up, replacing them quickly with her lips as she began to kiss him.  

Matthew closed his eyes.

These weren’t Effie’s lips.

She was kissing his neck now, and had backed him into the sink so he could lean against it.  Her hands wandered down to the button and zipper of his jeans.  Suddenly, she dipped down and was on her knees in front of him.  “Want me to suck you off, Matty?”

“N—No,” he stuttered out, looking down at her.  Matthew felt the zipper being pushed down and her hand on his groin.

“You can come down my throat,” she offered.  

He closed his eyes tightly, and in the darkness, he saw only one person: Effie.  

The only thing that brought him back – because he could have stayed alone in the bathroom with his eyes closed and the image of Effie in his mind for the rest of the God damn party if he really wanted to – was the sound of his zipper being pushed down dramatically.  He opened his eyes.  “Would you stop?!” he demanded, wiggling out of where he’d been backed into the sink.  He grabbed the front of his pants and zipped them up again.

Leah, still on her knees, spun around and glared at him.  “Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” she got up slowly, not breaking eye contact.  “You have someone in Calgary?” she demanded.

Matthew refused to answer as he did up his button.

“Who the fuck is she?” she demanded again.

“There’s nobody.”

“Fucking hell there’s nobody.  What’s her name?”

“Don’t go there, Leah.  As if I’d tell you.”

“You’re fucking someone in Calgary?  Since when?”

“As if I’d tell you,” he repeated.

She gave him one last glare because unlocking the door.  “Fuck you Matthew Tkachuk.  You’ll fucking miss me.”

“Doubt it.”

***

Hi Matthew,

I went to a Starbucks today to work on some school work and people watch.  When you get back to Calgary, we will need to find a new Starbucks because the one near Levi’s house is too far away now.  Anyway, I was working on an assignment and watching people interact and go about their daily lives.  It was eye-opening and a bit weird to me.  A lot of people were on their phones!  It makes me wonder if I should be on it more…?  A lot of the girls who walked in were really fashionable and it makes me want to go shopping again.  I don’t think I’ll ever look as good as Geneviève or Annica but I could definitely try, and they could help me.  I learn a lot by people watching.  Does that make me weird?

I had a Zoom call with Geneviève and Jacob in Sweden.  She is doing well and helped me with my assignment a little bit.  I’ve been baking shortbread recently, and I’m going to make butter tarts tomorrow.  I miss you being my taste-tester, but I bet you are happy to have home cooking.  Sometimes I wonder if my siblings miss my cooking but I doubt they do.

Did you think I was weird when I said I didn’t miss my family at all?

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

I do not think you are weird at all for not missing your family.  They were abusive.  You have no reason to miss them.

People are addicted to their phones these days, which is why you’re so refreshing.  You’re not a slave to it…at least yet lol.  I hurt my eyes sometimes from staring at my screen too long.  

I can’t wait to eat ALL of your baking when I get back.  It’s the best, Effie.  It really is.

I miss you a lot.

*

Hi Matthew,

I miss you too.

Thank you for not thinking I’m weird for not missing my family.

I’ve been watching a lot of movies and listening to a lot of music.  I’ve been researching what’s been popular since I was born and I’m trying to, like, catch up I guess.  Some of the movies I don’t like or don’t get.  Some of them are really funny, and I watched them because I know people quote them all the time.  Like this movie called Bridesmaids.  I want to be able to get references people make even though I wasn’t in the moment of them.  There are some movies I’ve read about online that seem amazing, but I don’t want to watch them alone.  They are:

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind Moonlight There Will Be Blood Shoplifters Brokeback Mountain The Master Unorthodox

When you come back to Calgary, would you watch them all with me?

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

Of course I’ll watch them all with you.

***

Effie Schaffer woke up the morning of her 20th birthday, on July 7, 2021, to her phone ringing.  Birthdays were not a thing in the People’s Dominion of Christ.  They were not celebrated.  Effie always knew when hers was, but as a kid she never had a birthday party, and when she was forced to marry the prophet, she hated her birthday.  Hated it.  She always wished that the prophet would forget about it but he never did.  It was the one day of the year she spent the most time praying, and when she was not praying, she was with the prophet on his demand.  Several weeks later, usually, after a lot of blood loss and visit from the cult’s midwife (though she wasn’t properly medically trained), Abraham would tell Effie that everything was her fault, that God was testing him when He spoke to Abraham and told him to take Effie as his wife.  “July 7.  7/7.  One number above the Devil,” he’d tell her.  “That’s what you are.  Just above the devil.  Your blood and your loss are the signs of having the devil in you.  That’s why you refuse to carry my Son of God.”

She wasn’t expecting anybody to call besides Levi and Jenna, but they said they would be picking her up at noon anyway.  After she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat up in bed a little bit, she was pleasantly surprised, albeit a little shocked, to see Matthew’s name flash across the screen.  The giant FaceTime text was at the bottom of screen.  Effie swiped to answer.  After a bit of lagging, Matthew’s smiling face appeared.  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” he screamed, loudly, causing her to jump slightly.  

“Thank you, Matthew,” she said, her heartbeat going back to normal.

“How does it feel to officially be in your twenties?” he asked.

Effie could barely think, so she shrugged.  “When I wake up and my brain starts working, I’ll tell you.”

Matthew furrowed his brows.  It was only then that he noticed half of her hair in a scrunchie and the pillows behind her head.  “Oh shit, I fucked up time zones, didn’t I?” he asked worriedly.  “What time is it there?”

Effie looked at her watch.  “It’s 7:30 in the morning.”

“I woke you up!  Jesus Effie, I’m so sorry,” he began to apologize.  “I’m such an idiot—”

“It’s okay, Matthew,” she said, smiling at how his own smile had faded from his face when he realized he had woken her up early.  7:30 in the morning would have been a godsend two years ago, when she usually woke up at 5:30.  “It’s nice to be woken up by your voice on my birthday, actually.  Someone is at least treating it like a birthday.”

“Levi’s gonna treat you,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  As if Levi wouldn’t.

“I know,” she said.  “I mean, like…before.  Birthdays weren’t exactly a celebration.”

“You never used to celebrate your birthday?” he asked, thinking back to all the amazing birthdays his parents had thrown he and his siblings over the years.  Because his was so close to Christmas, it was extra special.  His parents always made sure Christmas didn’t overshadow it too much.  Same with Taryn being born on Halloween.  Brady’s parties were always good too because they were right after the start of school, so usually the entire class would be invited.  

“No,” Effie shook her head.  Matthew was sort of waiting for her to elaborate, but it seemed like she didn’t want to.  He left it at that.  “Levi’s taking me to that steakhouse we went to for Noah’s birthday,” she informed him.  “I think I’m gonna have another tomahawk.”

Matthew smiled again.  “Please do, in honour of me.”

“Maybe I’ll take a picture of it to show you what you’re missing.”

“Believe me, I know what I’m missing,” he said.  He bit his lip, wondering for a quick second if he should tell her about the gifts coming her way.  He quickly decided against it, thinking it would be better left as a surprise.  “I’m sorry I can’t be there, Effie.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Matthew,” she told him, meaning it sincerely.  “It’s an amazing thing that you’re so close to them.  I…believe me, I know how important that is…to be able to have people who love you unconditionally, to be able to have people who love you and want to see you and always have your best interests at heart.  I would never want to take that away from you.  And besides, when we watch all those movies together…you’ll be there.  We’ll be reunited.”

He licked his lips, nodding quickly.  “You bet.”

***

Matthew had been lying around the house all day after playing a round of golf with his dad that morning.  He’d tanned by the pool with Taryn and ate straight from the bag of Veggie Straws, but he was pretty glued to his phone because he wanted to see the delivery updates for the gifts he’d gotten Effie for her birthday.

The first gift was a giant bouquet of flowers.  Peonies, mostly, of course, because of her tattoo, set in a beautiful vase.  He’d gotten the delivery notification, then about five minutes later he’d received a picture of it from Effie over Instagram saying thank you.  Fifteen minutes later, she uploaded a photo of it to her Instagram feed and tagged him.  ‘Beautiful bouquet of peonies from my friend Matthew!  I am twenty years old today.’ was her caption.  That was the first gift.

The second was a delivery of some cookies from an amazing bakery in Calgary that Annica and Geneviève always ordered from.  The cookies were divine, but realistically, they weren’t better than Effie’s cookies.  But Effie making cookies for her own birthday wasn’t exactly a gift, so he knew he’d have to order her a batch.  Again, he’d gotten the notification that the cookies had been delivered, and ten minutes later, Effie had sent a selfie of her with one of the chocolate chip cookies.  ‘Yum!’ she’d texted with the photo.  Another notification on Instagram told him Effie had uploaded another photo and tagged him in it.  ‘My friend Matthew gave me cookies too!  How sweet!  Cookies are some of my favourite treats.’  He absolutely loved her feed and the way she used Instagram.  If he had to delete everyone else and just follow her, he’d do it.

The last gift was the trickiest.  He didn’t know how she’d react.  But she didn’t have one of her own – she’d been borrowing Jenna’s – and she needed one, quite literally, for her job.  He wondered if she’d like the colour.  And the make.  And all the attachments.

A ‘MATTHEW, YOU DIDN’T’ text suddenly came through on his phone, and he couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.  It was the first time it didn’t sound like an email.

Do u like it? he texted back.

I LOVE IT IN THE PISTACHIO TOO MY FAVOURITE COLOUR AND THE SIFTER ATTACHMENT AND THE ICE CREAM MAKER ATTACHMENT MATTHEW!

Im happy u like it! Now u can bake all you want and not have to borrow Jenna’s

“Taryn, mom needs you inside to help with something,” Brady’s voice boomed through the silence of the backyard.  Matthew heard the screen door burst open, and watched conspicuously through his sunglasses as Brady more or less barged towards them.  

“Can she wait?” Taryn didn’t make any effort to move.

“Now Taryn.  She seems pretty adamant,” Brady didn’t give up, his tone serious as he continued to walk towards them.

Taryn grumbled and got up from her seat.  Matthew locked his phone and pretended not to care, even when Brady took Taryn’s place in her lawn chair right beside him and didn’t bother lying down.  Instead, he sat facing Matthew, elbows on his knees and hands joined together, like he was a cop about to interrogate his brother.  “Who’s in Calgary?”

Matthew looked over at him.  “Huh?”

“Who’s in Calgary?” Brady asked again.

Matthew was confused.  “G…Gio?” he asked.

“Who’s in Calgary that made you not hook up with Leah at the party?”

Matthew’s heart dropped in the pit of his stomach.  For fuck sakes.  He sighed deeply and took off his sunglasses, trying to make it seem like everything was being blown out of proportion when, really, Matthew just didn’t want people knowing.  But he told Brady everything – everything.  He was sort of impressed that the secret had lasted this long, if he was being honest.  “Brady…” he began, his voice low.

Brady took off his sunglasses too.  “There’s a girl.”

“Sort of.  It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated?  What’s her name?”

Matthew thought about not telling him, but there was no point.  Brady would find out eventually, and Matthew would rather Brady learn the news from him than from the rumour mill or from Leah stalking his social media.  “It’s…Effie.”

“Effie?”

“Who’s Effie?” Taryn voice boomed.  The boys whipped their head to see her standing at their family room’s sliding doors, hiding behind the screen door.

“Taryn!” both brothers yelled at their sister.

“Effie?  Who’s Effie?” Chantal called out from the kitchen.

“What’s an Effie?” Keith asked from beside Chantal.  

“Oh my GOD this is a disaster!” Matthew screamed out in frustration.  “Get out of here, Taryn!”

“Who’s Effie?” Brady demanded once more.

Matthew put his heads in his hands dramatically before giving up.  There was no way he was going to get out of this.  Now his whole family would know.  It would be a game of telephone, and by the end of his and Brady’s conversation, Keith would hear Matthew married a girl named Jessie who’d grown up in a hut.  “You remember me talking about one of our physio guys?  Levi Schaffer?” Matthew asked.  Brady nodded.  “His younger sister.”

Brady furrowed his brows.  “Isn’t Levi in his thirties?  You’re dating an older woman, Matthew?”

Matthew rolled his eyes.  “No, you dolt.  She’s fifteen years younger than he is.”

“SHE’S FIFTEEN?!”

“WHAT?!” Taryn screamed from the screen door again.

“AAAAAAARGHHHH!” Matthew screamed in absolute frustration.  “You are literally the dumbest person alive, you know that right?!” he screamed at Brady.

“Matthew!  Apologize to your brother!” Chantal called from the house, opening the screen door and stepping through into the backyard with Keith.  

“But mom!  He’s an idiot!”

“Matthew,” Keith’s voice bellowed. “Now.”

“Sorry,” Matthew grumbled.  His parents always made the siblings do this stuff, ever since they were kids.  “Can we just drop it all?” he asked.

“Nope.  We’re all here now,” Brady said.  “Who’s Effie?”

Matthew sighed heavily.  “She’s a girl I met through my friend Levi at work.”

“What’s the big deal?  Are you dating her?” Keith asked.

“No,” Matthew answered immediately, shaking his head.  “No.  We’re not dating.  Not at all.  She…” he began, trying to find the right words.

“She…” Brady egged on.

“She’s a bit…” Matthew began again.  How was he going to tell them?  How was he gonna word it?  Should he sugar coat it or just come out and say it?  “She’s a bit…different.  She…she and Levi grew up in one of those, like, religious cults, out in rural Alberta.  But a year and a half ago, she escaped, and she’s been trying to adjust to the real world ever since.  I met her in January, at Noah’s birthday.  And ever since, I’ve just been, like…helping her experience the normal world.”

The entire Tkachuk family was silent as they processed the information.  They were definitely expecting a much different explanation from Matthew, that was for sure.  “A religious cult, Matthew?” Chantal was the first to speak.  Matthew nodded his head.  Chantal grew serious.  “Was she abused?”

Matthew hesitated, but he eventually nodded his head.  It wasn’t his business to tell – he knew that – but he couldn’t lie to his own mother.  “She could only wear dresses.  She had to read the Bible all day.  She was married at fourteen to the leader of the cult who was 55.  That sort of thing,” he explained briefly, not wanting to give any more details.

Chantal looked concerned.  Keith looked at his wife before looking back at his son.  “So you’re not dating her, but you’re helping her learn about the real world,” Keith clarified.  Matthew nodded again.  Keith looked at Brady.  “Then that’s none of our business! What’s the big deal?” he huffed.

“It’s not—”

“Why’re you busting his balls then?”

“Keith!” Chantal chastised.

***

Hi Matthew,

I still can’t believe you got me the stand mixer.  I love it so much.  It’s the only thing that I have out on my countertop because there’s no reason to hide it.  And the pistachio colour is sooooooo beautiful.  I promise that as a token of appreciation, I’m going to bake you whatever sweets you want when you get back to Calgary.  Seriously.  Anything you want.  Even if I haven’t made it before.  And I’ll make ice cream too!

I have been taking some walks around Calgary in my spare time.  It’s a really beautiful city.  Sometimes I will do my walks at night and see all the young people out at restaurants and bars and all the light are lit up downtown, and it’s even more beautiful.  It’s so nice to see life in people.  Everybody in the cult was so miserable.  Maybe I’m just saying that because I was so miserable, but that’s how I remember it.  Nobody was happy about life.  Well, they weren’t happy about life like the people in downtown Calgary are on a Friday or Saturday night.  

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

Calgary is definitely a beautiful city, and I’m happy that you’re starting to see that.  Wait until you see even more of the country and the world one day!  All of those young people that you see out and about are your age.  I know you are probably very nervous to make new friends, but if you ever want to go out to one of those places, I’m sure Levi or Jenna would take you.  When the team gets back into the city, I know any of the guys would take you too, just like when we went out for Andrew’s birthday.  You just let us know when.  And I apologize in advance for Noah’s behaviour.

I’m going to put in a request for snickerdoodles.  My mom used to make them a lot growing up, but she doesn’t make them as much now because then I’d eat them all and get too pudgy.

*

Hi Matthew,

Snickerdoodles it is.  I will perfect the recipe before you come back.

On top of movies, I’ve also been listening to music.  Levi lets me use his Spotify.  He also told me what an iPod is…was.  Have you heard of Adele?  She’s amazing!  I love her voice.  Most of the time I just let Spotify recommend me things and I end up liking them, but Levi introduced me to some bands too.  Have you heard of Bruce Springsteen?  Taylor Swift?  The Tragically Hip?  Red Hot Chili Peppers?  They’re all so good.  Red Hot Chili Peppers is Levi’s favourite band.  I also really like listening to Coldplay.  I think they’re my favourite out of all of them.  But I also like dancing songs, like the songs that have a good beat.  I wasn’t allowed to dance before (it was too sensual and would tempt the men) so now I feel like I should let it all out.

Sincerely, Effie Schaffer

Dance your heart out Effie.  Fuck them.

Fuck them.

***

Matthew was antsy.  Antsy.  The second the plane landed in Calgary, his leg was bobbing up and down to get off the plane, grab his bags, and go straight to Effie’s apartment.  

It was the first time since he had lived in Calgary that he wanted to go anywhere but his apartment after a flight back to the city.  But Effie had that effect on him these days.  He hadn’t seen her in three months – almost four.  And he was dying to.  FaceTimes and Instagram-messages-formatted-as-emails could only do so much, and satisfy so much in his mind.  He needed to see her, physically see her.  He didn’t know what had happened to him in the past few months, especially since he and Effie had left on such a good note.  No need to rush things.  Take the time.  But this entire summer, all Matthew could think about was her.  All he dreamt about was her.  He wondered if it was the same for her too.  And he wondered, if it was, if she would admit it.

Once he got his bags from baggage claim, he hightailed it out of the airport and got into a taxi.  He gave the driver Effie’s address, and within half an hour, he found himself with his suitcases at the foot of her apartment.

Okay, so maybe he didn’t think this through.  

He hauled both of his suitcases up the staircase, most definitely putting chips in the wood steps along the way.  It reminded him of moving her in to the place months ago, with him yelling at Sean for half of the day but ending with a slice of pie and his first kiss from Effie.  He didn’t know what to expect now, but he knew that whatever he’d get, he’d be happy with.  He knocked on her door and waited.  

When Effie opened it, she looked confused because she wasn’t expecting anybody.  But the second she saw Matthew’s face, her face lit up like a night show of fireworks.  “Matthew!” she squealed, jumping on him and wrapping her arms tightly around his broad shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  “What are you doing here?!  You weren’t supposed to be back in Calgary for a few days!” the shock was still evident in her voice.

“Just thought I’d take an earlier flight out,” he said casually.  “Gonna need to customize to the time change anyway.”

As if an hour was going to be a big shock to his system.

When Effie pulled away, she still kept her hands on his shoulders and he kept his hands at her waist.  She’d gained more weight throughout the summer, thankfully, and filled out more.  The pair of jeans she was wearing actually fit.  The top she was wearing actually fit too – a simple navy-striped long sleeve.  He was happy to see that.  She’d been so frail when he met her in January.  She looked like she had life in her now.  “Have you even gone home?” she asked, looking down at his suitcases behind him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Uh…no,” he said awkwardly.  “Can I bring them in?  I just wanted to see you.”

Effie couldn’t help but gulp at his words.  “I just wanted to see you.”  Nobody had ever said those words to her before – not even her own mother, she thought.  Nobody was ever happy to see her in the cult.  But in the real world, Matthew was.  “Yeah, come in,” she said, moving to remove her hands from his shoulders to give him more space to haul his suitcases into her entrance.  He closed the door behind him when he was done, and that’s when the reality snapped back into Effie’s mind.  “Oh no!” she exclaimed worriedly.

Matthew automatically got worried too.  “Oh no what?”

“You came home early and I—I didn’t make your snickerdoodles!”

A smile automatically appeared on his face.  “Effie, it’s okay,” he said softly, slipping off his shoes.  “It’s not like I told you I was coming back to Calgary.”

The worried look didn’t leave her face.  “Are you sure?  I—I didn’t mean to forget.  I actually made one batch but I thought they could be better for you so I was going to make another and—”

“Effie,” he said sternly, placing a hand over hers, which had bunched together nervously.  “It’s alright.  It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” she asked one more time.

“I’m positive,” he squeezed her hands gently.  “Just gives me another excuse to come over again in a few days, really.”

A small smile crept on Effie’s face as she realized Matthew wasn’t angry.  Usually, when something like this happened, the outcome was much different.  She didn’t have to worry about that anymore.  “Well come in then, come in,” she said, moving further into her apartment so Matthew could follow her.  “D’you want something to drink?” she asked, already opening up her fridge.

“Tell me what you’ve been learning in school,” Matthew said instead, leaning against it.  “I want to hear everything I missed.”

Effie couldn’t stop talking after that.  They had managed to migrate to her couch and she told him about her courses and teachers and homework and assignments and textbooks and her new computer and the classroom and the building and the campus and the Starbucks on campus and the cafeteria she’d eat in and the vending machine she’d buy snacks from and the bench she’d sit on waiting for class and everything.  Everything.  There was nothing she didn’t talk about.  And he listened to it all, listened to all of it intently, not interrupting once, asking follow-up questions and asking her for more more more more more.  He couldn’t get enough.  He forgot about his water.  He forgot about the homemade Rice Krispie she gave him on a plate on her coffee table.  He forgot that he was going to suggest they go out to a Starbucks.  He forgot that he hadn’t seen her in months and was so desperate to see her that he came here before he even went to his own apartment.  All he could think about was here, and all he could pay attention to was what she was saying.  

He wanted it like this all the time.

“How’s therapy going?” he asked, finally remembering his water and taking a quick sip from his glass.  

“I’m seeing a sex therapist now too.”

That was a bombshell.  Matthew tried not to make it show that he was shocked at the news, but she’d said it so casually – like everyone saw a sex therapist.  And, like, a therapist was one thing, but a sex therapist was another.  He understood why she’d need one, but it was still a shock to him.  “Oh yeah?” he tried to say casually.

Effie nodded her head.  “I told Dr. Barlow how we’d been kissing,” she said, biting her lip and blushing slightly.  “And, um…well, I told her some other things, so she suggested I see the sex therapist to help fix them.”

Fix them?  Matthew had no idea what she meant.  He moved slightly closer to her on the couch as he furrowed his brows.  “What else did you tell her?” he asked softly.  Effie averted his gaze, looking away as if she were embarrassed.  “Effie, come on, you can tell me,” he urged.

“Well…when we—do you promise not to freak out at me?”

His heart ached.  “Of course.”

“When we started kissing—well, when I started kissing you…I liked it a lot,” she said.

“We were kissing each other,” he said, correcting her, because he knew language was important and the way things were phrased was important and he wanted her to know he was 100% in on it too.  He wasn’t exactly innocent.  He was a willing accomplice.  “I was kissing you too.  I liked it a lot too.”

Effie nodded her head.  “Well…I liked it a lot.  But then we had that talk and you left for St. Louis and we were in a good place.  Dr. Barlow told me that was very mature of me, and that she was very impressed.  But then…”

“But then…”

Effie kept averting his gaze.  “Um…but then, well, you weren’t here, and I started to have dreams of us kissing.  I’d lean into you and close my eyes and kiss you.  And your lips were soft like I remembered.  But then it would change.  Quickly.  And it would hurt.  It—it would hurt.  And I’d open my eyes and instead of you, it was…Abraham.  And I’d get so scared.  I’d wake up screaming.”

Matthew’s heart fell in the pit of his stomach.  He felt like he was going to be sick.  “I made you feel that way?”

“No!  No you didn’t,” she shook her head vehemently.  “It was only when you left.  When you’re—Matthew, no,” her words were jumbled because she had started crying.  “When we kissed, I liked it.  I liked it so much.  But my mind was playing tricks on me.”

“Effie, if I hurt you—”

“You didn’t.  You didn’t hurt me at all,” she pressed, her hand extending automatically to grab at his forearm comfortingly.  “You could never hurt me Matthew.  Ever.  I just…” her voice had gotten softer, frailer, more like it had been in January.  “I still see him sometimes.”

If Matthew’s heart had fallen into the pit of his stomach before, then now it had just shattered into a billion pieces.  “Oh, Effie…” he barely got out.

“I don’t want to see him ever again,” she said.  

“C’mere,” he said softly, pulling her body towards his so he could hug her.  He wrapped his arms around her tightly and could feel Effie melt into him, her head cradled on his chest.  He wanted her to feel as safe as possible with him – he’d wanted that since the beginning.  With this new revelation, he now wanted it more than ever.  “You’ll never see him again, Effie.  I promise you.”

“I know I won’t.  I know.  This is happening because of what happened to me.”

“When he would hurt you.”

Effie looked up at him, nodding, almost embarrassingly.  “I know that he can’t hurt me anymore.  But my dreams would take me back to when he did.  It wasn’t you, Matthew.  You didn’t make me feel that way.  I told Dr. Barlow and Dr. Stevenson that.  They’re just trying to help me not see him anymore, and move past the things that he did to me.  And they’re…they’re trying not to make me feel guilty about something so simple like kissing.”

“You felt guilty about us kissing?” he asked.

“Women couldn’t date, right?  So it wasn’t like I was kissing any of the other boys in the cult. We were harlots and sinners if we kissed men, and we were responsible for them straying away from God.  My first kiss was on my fake wedding day.”

Matthew could kill them all.  He had half the heart to jump into his car and drive to Sheerness so that he could.  “I will give you as many kisses as you want if it helps you forget,” he blurted out.

Effie couldn’t help but smile.  “Can we start again now?  Slowly?”

Matthew smiled slightly.  She craned her head up and placed one of her signature chaste kisses on his lips, and he reciprocated readily, the feeling of her lips on his after months of not having them there ranking up there with the best feeling in the world.  When she pulled away, her eyes were still closed, but there was a smile on her face.  Her prior tears had stained her cheeks.  “Hugging you feels nice too,” Effie said, finally opening her eyes.  

Matthew smiled.  “Well then we’ll start doing a lot of that too.”

***

At the beginning of every hockey season, right before training camp, the Calgary Flames hosted a gala to benefit the Calgary Flames Foundation.  The team would set a fundraising goal for the night – often surpassed – and then set one for the season – also surpassed – to give back to the city and community that supported them endlessly, through thick and thin.  The gala was unofficially the kickoff to the season.  Every member of the team, coaching staff, and head office attended.  It was one of Calgary’s biggest events.  It was the one night of the year Matthew didn’t mind being out and having to small-talk with hundreds of strangers, because he knew it was all for a good cause and a greater good.  

Matthew was forced to wear a tuxedo.  All the members of the team were forced to wear tuxedos.  He kept fiddling with his bowtie and Mark kept slapping his hand away.  Matthew thought they all looked like penguins.  He searched around the gala room, already filling up with people.  He took his phone out of his pocket.

You guys here yet? he texted Geneviève, knowing that since Elias and Jacob were already here, she and Annica were coming together.  

We’re in a taxi.  Eyeliner needed to be reapplied because Effie kept crying.

Matthew chuckled to himself, picturing the image of Effie sitting in a chair while Annica and Geneviève fussed over her makeup.  Before he could text her back, another text from her came through.

She looks beautiful, by the way.

Matthew was impatient.  He kept looking towards the doors even though he was supposed to be pretending to be interested in what these rich people had to say.  Levi and Jenna were already there, too, so it really was just him waiting for Effie to arrive.  This entire night didn’t start until Effie arrived.  

Matthew was in a conversation with someone when he saw her walk through the doors.  Annica was wearing a navy blue bodycon dress that showed off her curves, and she looked great.  Geneviève was wearing an emerald green midi-length dress with a high slit, high collar, back cut-out, and cap sleeves, and she looked impeccably chic and stylish, like only Geneviève could.  

But it was Effie, of course, who looked the best.  A bright red dress that fell to her knees, with floral lace and sequins and cape sleeves that covered her otherwise bare arms.  She wore a pair of low nude heels, and her blonde bob was styled professionally as a barely-there curl.  She looked impeccable.  Beautiful.  Stunning.  Gorgeous.  Divine.  Exquisite.  

“Excuse me,” he said quickly to the man and wife he was talking to, and left Elias alone with them as he made his way through the crowd and towards Effie, Annica, and Geneviève.  He pushed past some people gently before finally appearing in front of them.  He could see Geneviève smirking the second they saw him, but he locked eyes with Effie.  When she saw him in his tux, her breath hitched in her throat.  He looked good.  “Hi,” he said to Effie breathlessly.

Annica saw the look in his eyes and knew she had to skedaddle out of there.  “Where’s Elias?”

“Over there,” Matthew pointed behind him, somewhere in the crowd of four hundred people, as if that answered the question and helped her.

“Thanks,” she left, winking at him as she passed him.

Geneviève was next.  “I guess my husband is in the same place?” she asked him.

“Mhm,” he nodded his head quickly.

“Great.  You two behave.  If I don’t see you, I’ll assume you’re in a broom closet,” she said before disappearing into the crowd of people.

Matthew and Effie hadn’t taken their eyes off each other.  Effie thought he looked great in his tux; it was tailored to perfection, and really showed off how thick his body was, but in a good way.  She’d felt it when they hugged when he showed up to her place after landing in Calgary, and if she was being honest with herself, she had been thinking about it ever since.  She kept thinking about being physical with him, about touching him and hugging and cuddling and doing all the things she couldn’t have done with another man before.  And she only wanted to do them with Matthew.  Her mind – and now increasingly her body – wanted to do that only with Matthew.  With the dress and the makeup and the whole look all together, Matthew was a man possessed.  With Geneviève and Annica gone, Matthew couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip to suppress himself from smiling bashfully, like he usually did with Effie.  “You look beautiful, Effie,” he said softly.

“Thanks,” she smiled.  “This is the second dress I’ve ever worn that has shown off my legs.  It’s Geneviève’s.  And – if you can believe it – this is the first time I’ve word something red.”

He couldn’t take it anymore.  From her hair to her makeup to her dress to her shoes, he just couldn’t fucking take it anymore.  He looked around the room quickly before grabbing her hand.  “Come with me,” he mumbled.

“Where are we going?”

He dragged her out of the room and into the foyer.  There were more people out there, sipping on cocktails and eating hors d’oeuvres and getting checked in, so he kept walking with her behind him down the long foyer that connected all the different hall rooms in the complex together.  When it got quieter, and the rush of people were too far away, he led her into a short corridor where a men’s and women’s washroom was.  They were far enough away that he knew no-one from the gala would find them.

“Matthew?  Is everything okay?” she asked as she watched him close the door behind them.

“Everything’s fine,” he said, his voice strained.  “I just…God, Effie, you look so fucking beautiful.”

Effie could pick up on the strain in his voice.  She could also see the fire in his eyes as he looked down at her.  She didn’t know much about the world, and she knew even less about men, but those things alone were telling her something.  Her body was telling her something too, something she’d never heard from it before.  Instead of being repulsed by the body in front of her, she was drawn to it.  Instead of being scared to touch it, she wanted to feel it all over her.  Instead of allowing her mind to take her somewhere else so she didn’t have to focus on pain on hurt or anything else, she wanted to be in the moment and feel everything.  “Kiss me, Matthew,” she said.  She’d never been so bold in her entire life.  She didn’t think she had it in her.

Matthew didn’t need to be told twice.  He held her face between his hands, dipped his head, and began kissing her passionately.  Effie loved it.  It wasn’t a chaste kiss like the kisses they had shared in the past.  This kiss was hungry, and told her almost everything she needed to know about Matthew’s feelings.

Her feelings were similar.  She wanted to explore them.  She wanted to do more.  

That was why, when it was Effie who slid her tongue along Matthew’s lips, he stopped in shock.  Not that he wanted to – the action was just surprising.  He pulled away slightly, making sure it was something she wanted to do.  When he saw her open her eyes slowly, she was bringing her hands up, placing them over his.  “You can touch me, Matthew,” her voice was barely above a whisper.

He let out a shaky breath.  He knew they weren’t exactly gonna hook up in the bathroom or anything, but this was still huge, especially for Effie.  “Are you sure?” he asked.

She nodded her head.  “You won’t hurt me.”

He dipped down and kissed her again.  And he kept kissing her, letting his hands wander to her waist and hips, where he gripped them and pulled them closer to his body.  And she kept kissing him, letting her hands wander down his chest and under his tuxedo jacket to his back, feeling the thickness of his body.  And for at least a few minutes, they were in their own little world, kissing in the men’s bathroom of a banquet hall, hands all over each other as Matthew probably got lipstick all over his mouth.  

Effie was loving it.  The feeling of his soft lips on hers was unlike anything she’d ever felt, and his tongue in her mouth, tasting slightly of the alcohol he’d drunk before she got there, was intoxicating to say the least.  She felt like it could go on forever.  She was pretty sure she would let it go on forever if she could.  She was happy, so happy that she was doing this – that she could do this.  Two years ago, if she’d even thought about it, she would have been scared of being damned to hell for eternity.  Now, she was enjoying it.  Now, she wanted to do it all the time.  Now, she could—

She could—

She—

Now, it hurt a little.

Now, the lips weren’t as soft.

Now, she could feel a prickly, unkept beard scraping at her skin—

“STOP,” she instinctively pushed the body away, scrunching her face and gulping hard.  Before she could see Abraham’s face – before it could appear to her in her mind – she opened her eyes and looked at Matthew.

Matthew.

Matthew.

She saw him staring back at her worriedly and she let out a shaky breath.  He knew why she stopped; he didn’t need to be told.  “I’m—I’m so—”

“Hey hey, it’s okay,” he said soothingly.  “It’s alright, Effie.  We can stop.”

She diverted her eyes from looking at him.  She was so embarrassed.  “You won’t be mad?” she asked.  That was usually how it went for, well…

Matthew put his hand under her chin so he could look her in the eye.  “No,” he said, with as much conviction as he could muster.  “We can stop whenever you want.”

“I’m so—”

“Do not apologize to me,” he said sternly.  She didn’t need to.  He needed her to know that.  “Never apologize to me for that.”

She bit her bottom lip.  “Thank you for stopping.”

“There’s no way in hell I’d keep going.”

Effie nodded.  She understood.  “At least I’m getting better,” she said.  “I didn’t give you a black eye this time.”

Matthew couldn’t help but snort.  It released all the tension in the air immediately; even Effie was giggling slightly.  “That you did not,” he said, grabbing her hand slightly.  “Wanna go back out there?  Well, after we get all this lipstick off of me.”

***

The gala was nice.  It was formal and the food was decent and even though Matthew basically kept his eye on Effie sitting with Levi and Jenna the entire night, it was nice.  He had fun with his teammates.  He embarrassed himself on stage for charity.  At the silent auction, one of his packages with signed memorabilia went for the second-highest bid.  He was proud of what he and the team were able to accomplish in terms of giving back to the community.

But now he had more important things on his mind.  

By the time he found Effie again, she was standing in a group with Levi and Jenna, Jacob and Geneviève, and Annica and Elias.  It looked like they were chatting about something exciting, so Matthew knew he needed to be there.  When Geneviève saw him butt his way in, she smiled.  “I was just reminiscing about when Jacob and I met, and how my friends and I went to the pubs in Oxford after our graduation in our robes and Tudor bonnets,” she said, filling him in.  “There’s nothing better than showing up to a place severely overdressed and then having the time of your life dancing.”

Matthew looked at Geneviève in her dress.  He looked at Annica in hers, and Effie in hers, and Jenna in hers.  He looked to his teammates in his tuxedos, and to Levi wearing a form-fitted navy suit.  “Wanna go dancing?”

Elias smirked.  “The night’s still young.”

***

They ended up at a bar downtown, one that Matthew had been to before but couldn’t really remember exactly what happened (it was his first year in Calgary and he’d just found out hours before that the legal drinking age was only eighteen).  The bouncer looked at them all weirdly in their getups but let them in anyway.  It was only when they entered that they realized it was frosh week for the University of Calgary, and the bar was full of university students drinking and dancing.  The floor was slightly sticky.  It was the perfect venue for the goal they wanted to achieve.

“Oh, this takes me back,” Geneviève giggled, looking out at the sea of people.  She looked at Annica and Jenna.  “Spicy margs?”

Both women nodded.  “Spicy margs.”

She looked at Effie.  “Have you ever had alcohol?”

“No.”

“Do you want to try it while you’re safe with us?”

Effie nodded.  

Geneviève, Effie, and Matthew headed to the bar while the rest of the group went to find a bar table to take over.  Matthew made sure Effie got a spot right at the front as he stood directly behind her, his body pressed against hers.  Geneviève waved down the bartenders and ordered all the drinks.  All the university students clamouring to get a spot at the bar and the attention of the bartenders looked at them weird for their too-fancy clothes.  Geneviève didn’t care – it wasn’t like this was her first time doing this.  Effie was a little self-conscious, but that soon went away when she saw the drinks being made in front of her.

“Whenever you go out to a bar like this, you always want the bartender to make your drink in front of you.  Don’t ever accept a drink from a stranger or if you haven’t seen it made in front of you,” Geneviève cautioned her.  

“Okay,” Effie nodded.  “What happens if I don’t like the spicy margarita though?”

“Then we’ll get you another drink.”

Once all the drinks were made, they were brought back to the bar table the rest of the group managed to find and everyone began drinking.  Effie liked her spicy margarita.  Matthew let her take a sip of his beer but she didn’t like that too much.  She ordered another spicy margarita.  Her body began to feel tingly because of the tequila.  The music started to get progressively louder, too, the bass making the floor vibrate.  Effie looked out onto the dance floor to see a bunch of people her age dancing – grinding, as Matthew called it at Andrew’s birthday many months ago.  She watched them intently, while they were having the time of their lives.  

“You okay?” Matthew asked, bending down to ask as she was looking out at the crowd.  

“I want to dance but I don’t know how to,” she revealed.  “I’m just…looking to see what everyone else is doing.  I wouldn’t be comfortable with that grinding.”

Matthew couldn’t help but smile.  “Nobody knows how to dance, Effie.  We all just move our bodies to the beat of the music.”

The song changed suddenly and it made Geneviève scream at the top of her lungs in excitement.  Effie watched as she grabbed her drink and Jacob’s hand and dragged him towards the dance floor as they began to dance together.  Levi and Jenna followed, and so did Annica and Elias.  The couples weren’t grinding like the university students, but instead danced facing each other, holding hands or swaying back and forth, holding their drinks it their hands and raising them up in the air, miraculously not spilling a thing.  She and Matthew were the only ones left at the bar table.  “This was their wedding song, I think,” Matthew explained, watching Effie watch Jacob and Geneviève dancing.

“What’s it called?”

“I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston.”

“Levi hasn’t introduced me to that one.”

“Levi isn’t the type to listen to Whitney Houston.”

Effie continued to watch them dance, Geneviève singing the lyrics to Jacob at the top of her lungs.  They were so in love with each other, even she could see it, and she barely knew what healthy love was.  A part of her wondered what made them love each other so much, and another part of her wondered if she should ask.  Was it rude to ask something like that?

“D’you want to dance, Effie?” Matthew asked.

Effie looked up at him.  “Do you think people will laugh at me because I don’t know how?”

He shook his head.  “There’s so many people and they’re all so drunk, they won’t even notice you.”

She gripped her margarita tighter.  There was something to be said about overcoming fears ever since she left the cult, and this could be classified as one of them.  But she wasn’t like these university students who were moving their bodies so freely and easily.  She was much more restrained – with everything really – but she wanted to actively work to move away from that.  Conquer her fears.  Do what she needed to do to shed herself from the past.  So she nodded her head.  “Let’s go.”

Matthew grabbed her hand and led her on to the dance floor, moving his body to the song with his beer still in his hand, doing his best not to spill it everywhere, but especially not on Effie wearing Geneviève’s expensive red dress.  Effie watched, moving her feet back and forth awkwardly.  She looked up at Matthew for reassurance, only to see him already smiling at her.  “You got it, you got it,” he said, moving his feet in a similar way.  

“What do I do with my hands?” she asked.

“Just throw ‘em up!” he showed her.  She did the same movements, but she couldn’t step or move with the beat of the music.  Matthew could tell she was nervous.  “Just move your body, Effie.  Move it however you want.  Doesn’t need to be on beat.”

Effie closed her eyes, trying to get the feel of the song in her, but she lost her groove because it soon ended and another began.  This one was even more upbeat – well, it had a better beat – and Effie began to move again.  

Feel buried alive This city is airtight Suffocated and lonely in the crowd I'm surrounded by All the screens of their life Screaming in to space to drown them out

Effie not only began to move her feet and hands, but she tried swaying her hips a bit.  She liked this beat.  She loved this beat.  She lost herself completely in it, dancing with no inhibitions.  Matthew watched as she let loose, moving her body in tune with the music.  Her dancing was unlike anyone else’s around her, and the only thing he wanted to was copy her.  It looked a bit ridiculous, but it didn’t matter to Matthew.  He’d made himself look more ridiculous than this before.  This was nothing.

I felt down so low Found nowhere to go But I know you wait for me You wait for me So far out of sight Straight into the white But I know you wait for me I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

Effie opened her eyes to see Matthew.  Matthew, who would wait for her.  Matthew, who had waited for her.  

'Cause I've been hypnotized by the lights But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight Yeah, it's taken time to realize But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

“Go Effie!  Go Effie!” Annica chanted, coming up beside them with Elias, grooving to the beat of the music.  Annica watched Effie moving and followed her movements too – albeit more fluidly – and when Effie looked up and saw Annica, a giant smile took over her face.  Annica screamed in excitement and cheered their drinks together before moving with her, beside Matthew, letting him get closest to her.

So hold me tight I just wanna fade out Somewhere we can ship the world away I'm ready to hide Far from the fallout They won't find us in the paradise we'll make

“Woooooooo!  You go girl!  Get loose!” Geneviève screamed from her other side, approaching them with Jacob beside her who was doing a modified version of the robot.  Matthew watched as Effie closed her eyes, going into her own little world, raising her arms and bopping her body to the music.  It was the happiest and most carefree he’d ever seen her.  He vowed right then and there to take her dancing whenever she wanted to go so she could feel this same way.

I felt down so low Found nowhere to go But I know you wait for me You wait for me So far out of sight Straight into the white But I know you wait for me I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

Effie was feeling it.  She loved it.  She loved this.  She loved the people she was surrounded by.  If this was love, she wanted to feel it all the time.

'Cause I've been hypnotized by the lights But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight Yeah, it's taken time to realize But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

When she opened her eyes again, she saw everyone dancing around her.  She stepped closer to Matthew, almost so close that she could feel his body against hers.  They moved together to the climax of the song, Matthew looking down at her and smiling.

Free falling from the high I'm following the voice I know Free falling from the high I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

In his tuxedo and in her frilly red dress with cape sleeves, surrounded by people. it felt like they were the only ones in the world.

'Cause I've been hypnotized by the lights But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight Yeah, it's taken time to realize But I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight I'm coming home I'm coming back down tonight

***

“I think I can live a normal life with him,” Effie told Dr. Barlow as she sat in her usual seat in the office, looking down at her hands.  She’d already been talking for almost an hour during her session, but she felt the need to get that statement out.  Dr. Barlow had the right to know.

“With Matthew?” Dr. Barlow clarified.

Effie nodded her head.  Who else would she be talking about?  “He’s never once made me feel uncomfortable or unsafe or…like…ashamed of what I went through,” she elaborated.  

“That’s a very positive thing,” Dr. Barlow said, her voice steady.  “It’s good that you’re thinking about these things, Effie.  You’re thinking about your future.  You actually see a future for yourself.  But how normal do you think a friendship or perhaps even a life with a hockey player can be?” she asked.

Effie shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know.  I barely understand hockey as it is.”

“Well, hockey players don’t exactly live the most conventional of lifestyles.  They travel a lot, as I’m sure you know since Levi travels with the team.”

“Yeah…” Effie didn’t know where Dr. Barlow was going with this.  “That’s…that’s not the biggest deal to me.”

Dr. Barlow nodded her head, writing something down on her pad of paper.  “Have you continued to kiss him since he’s come back?”  Effie nodded.  “Regularly?”

“Semi-regularly.”

“Have you told Dr. Stevenson?” she asked.  Effie nodded again.  “Do you still envision Abraham sometimes?”

Effie hesitated before nodding her head.  She knew she couldn’t lie.  “It’s been getting better though.  We kissed for a couple of minutes once before I, um, felt Abraham’s beard.  And when he stopped, he didn’t get mad at all.  I means it’s progress from when he brushed up against me in bed and I gave him a black eye,” she tried to joke.

Dr. Barlow apparently didn’t find it funny like Matthew had.  She just nodded again and wrote on her note pad.  “You should tell Dr. Stevenson about that.”

***

“I made another pint of maple pecan ice cream,” Effie told Levi as she handed him a Tupperware full of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.  They were mostly for Jenna – she was craving them.  Jenna had been craving a lot of things lately, ever since Effie got her own mixer, anyway.  Effie had been experimenting making ice cream.  The café was pleased about this as well.  The owner was already looking to invest in ice cream storage to be able to serve it.  “I’ve found a real gem in you, Effie,” the owner would repeat over and over again to her.  Matthew had to stop himself constantly from getting a third bowl on nights he’d come over.  He’d tap at his stomach and say “I can’t” but when he’d go and put his bowl in the sink, she’d always see him hesitate before he did so.  “Do you want it?”

“Please,” he begged his sister.  She moved to open her freezer.  “I swear Effie, the best thing Matthew’s ever done was get you that KitchenAid.  I’ve been gaining weight ever since.”

Effie smiled.  “At least you’re not the hockey player that has to stay in peak physical condition.  Matthew’s been complaining that I’m making him pudgy.”

“Thank God.”

“Speaking of…” she began, handing him the pint of ice cream.  “Do you think you can teach me about hockey?”

“You mean like the rules and stuff?”

“Yeah.  You know, like what’s going on out there whenever I’m at games.”

“Okay,” he nodded, shrugging his shoulder slightly.  “Any reason?”

“If I’m going to be surrounded by hockey because of you, then I should learn it, shouldn’t I?” Effie asked rhetorically.  

“Sure,” he side-eyed his sister playfully.  “But does this have anything to do with Matthew?”

“What if it does?”

Levi smiled.  He knew there was something going on between the two of them, regardless of whether or not they wanted to tell him.  He liked Matthew, he knew he was a good kid, so it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.  She could have hooked up with someone way worse.  Actually, she could have gone the opposite route of where she currently was (which many former cult members went), which was becoming a hypersexual after being sexually repressed for so many years.  Effie was taking her time with it, and that was fine, but if her friendship…or relationship, or whatever she had going on with Matthew was any indication, Levi figured Effie was thinking about it.  “I don’t care, Effie.  It’s kind of cute, actually.”

“So you’ll teach me?”

“Of course.  I’ll have you screaming at the referees in no time.”

***

“So Levi’s teaching me about hockey,” Effie said as she marinated chicken in her kitchen, her phone call with Matthew on speakerphone as she moved around and got her hands dirty.  

“He is?”

“Mhm.  By the time the home opener comes around, I’ll be able to understand what’s going on,” she revealed.

“I better get you a Tkachuk jersey then.”

Effie smiled bashfully, even though he couldn’t see it.  “You don’t want me wearing a Markstrom one like last time?” she joked.

“Effie.”

***

Effie was nervous as she sat in Dr. Stevenson’s office.  Not because she was scared, or because she wasn’t a good sex therapist, or because of anything like that.  She was nervous to admit to her the thoughts she’d been having about Matthew, even though she knew Dr. Stevenson wouldn’t judge her at all and that it was his job to help her.  Help her make peace with these thoughts; help her realize they were completely normal and okay; help her act on them, eventually, in a healthy way.  Dr. Stevenson already knew about Matthew – she knew about him from Effie’s very first day.  

“My mind may not be ready but my body is physically attracted to him. I don’t know how to…you know, mend the two so that both are on the same page,” Effie admitted after almost an hour.  “I want to be with him.  I do.  I know he won’t hurt me – that he’d never hurt me.”

Dr. Stevenson nodded.  “When you were in the People’s Dominion of Christ, there was a huge power imbalance between Abraham, being the prophet and leader, and the followers – you,” Dr. Stevenson began to explain.  “This imbalance made it impossible for you to give true consent to sex.”

Effie’s body stiffened.  Consent.  Geneviève had taught her that term early on.  Consent was giving permission for something to happen.  Effie had never given her consent to marry Abraham.  She’d never given Abraham consent to consummate their marriage.  She’d never given Abraham consent to touch her, stroke her, do anything to her.  She’d surely never given him consent to impregnate her.  “Okay…that makes sense.  But I didn’t know I had to give consent.  I thought that men could do whatever they wanted with my body.  Especially Abraham, since he was the prophet.”

“The institutionalized sexism in the cult is nothing I haven’t heard before.  Many victims like yourself have said the exact same thing to me,” Dr. Stevenson said.  “You are not alone.  There are many people like you, unfortunately.  When females are not equally valued because of misogyny, because of outdated traditional gender roles that are disempowering, it makes women like you experience sexual inequality and become more susceptible to leaders who will exploit you.”

“So how do I get it back?”

“Get what back?”

“My agency.  My…my…” Effie began to tear up, thinking about all the things she had to endure at the hands of Abraham – literally and metaphorically.  “How do I get my mind back?  My body is finally mine, and I can do what I want with it, but I don’t feel like I have my mind back yet if I’m kissing Matthew but then all of a sudden I remember the feeling of Abraham’s beard or that I can’t sit or lie at the foot of a bed because that’s where…”

Dr. Stevenson took a deep breath.  “One way to do so is to embrace, appreciate, and celebrate your sexual self.  That is what I am trying to help you do here.  You need to understand that your capacity for pleasure is not a luxury, and it is not shameful either.  It is a necessity for a well-balanced and emotionally happy life.  As a woman – as a survivor of sexual abuse, of rape – you should take a stand for your own sexual healing and embrace sexual pleasure as something that will help heal you.”

Effie nodded her head, more tears escaping her now, but she understood.  She knew what she needed to do, and the mental shift she needed to go through.  Touching could be pleasurable for the woman.  Sex could be pleasurable for the woman. Not everything had to hurt.  Not everything had to come with pain.  

“I’m not saying this is going to happen tomorrow for you, Effie,” Dr. Stevenson continued.  “I’m not saying it’ll happen next month, or year.  It happens quickly for some, and for others it can take years.  Everybody has their own timeline – you included.  You have to remember that your trauma comes with complex PTSD.  If you set goals for yourself, like you already have been doing, with a person you are comfortable with – Matthew – your sexual self will grow with your physical self and your mental self.  When those three parts of you are aligned, they will all grow stronger, and make you stronger.”

Effie kept nodding.  The words were permeating through her like lightning.  “I’m going to try.  I’m really going to try.”

“Just stop when you need to stop.  Go when you want to go.  You’ll get there, Effie.”

***

“Did you learn about gay people in the cult?” Matthew asked as he prepared Brokeback Mountain on the TV while Effie finished pouring the popcorn into the bowl.  

“Not in a good way, if that’s what you’re really asking,” she said from the kitchen.  “You know the stupid Bible verse.  The prophet called it an abomination.  But it was one of the first things that Levi and Jenna taught out of me when I first went to live with them, because Jenna’s brother is gay and has a husband and two kids.  Levi didn’t want me to be shocked if I ever saw them.”

Matthew didn’t know that about Jenna.  But he nodded his head and watched Effie bring the bowl of popcorn over.  “Have you met them?”

Effie nodded.  “They came over a few months after I arrived.  They were so incredibly kind,” she explained.  She handed the popcorn bowl to Matthew to take before folding her leg and collapsing onto the couch beside him, facing him.  “It really…it really messed with me.  I mean, it’s not like I wanted to think that way.  It was what I was conditioned to think.  I didn’t know better.  And I felt so bad, because I knew they knew, but they were so understanding.  From the moment they walked through the door they were so nice and they didn’t hold it against me,” she explained.  

Matthew could only listen.  And though he listened through her entire explanation, he was hung up on one thing.  “You should stop calling him the prophet,” he said suddenly, not really thinking it through but needing to get it out.  “He wasn’t a prophet.  He wasn’t even your husband.  He was just some guy.”

Effie looked stunned by what he was saying.  She’d never considered that before.  She was so used to calling him the prophet that the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind – ever.  “You’re right,” she said, unable to say anything else.  It was such a simple sentiment but it held so much power.  “I…you’re right, Matthew.”

He smiled slightly.  “Wanna start the movie?”

Effie nodded.  Matthew extended his arm to move the bowl to the side, and his other arm moved upwards slightly, signalling to Effie that it was already to cuddle.  She moved closer to him, snuggling into his side and letting both legs drape over his thigh.  Only then did he let his arm down, draping it over her back.  Effie looked up at him.  “Is that okay?” she asked.

“It’s perfect,” he whispered, placing the bowl of popcorn between their bodies so they had equal access to it.  “You comfortable?”

“Mhm.”

“Effie, are you comfortable?” he repeated.

She knew why he was repeating himself.  She looked up at him and smiled.  “The comfiest I’ve ever been.”

Matthew pressed play.  From that moment, Effie’s eyes were glued to the screen, hooked on the love story unfolding in front of her.  For Matthew, he was more hooked on watching her than the movie, but he kept up slightly.  At some point during the movie – Matthew didn’t pay attention when – Effie’s hand settled on his abs, and it was all he could think about for the rest of the night.  He was acutely aware of its placement.  Then, the sadder scenes started happening, and he’d feel the hand grip his t-shirt, and his body would seize up.  She’d soften it, but then grip again when something emotional would happen.  Then the scene where Ennis visits Jack’s parents after his death occurred, and Ennis was let into Jack’s childhood bedroom and found his old shirt.  Matthew watched as Ennis smelled it and clutched it against his chest.

Then he heard Effie let out a sob.  

She gripped him tighter than she ever had.  He tightened his hold on her too, shifting slightly and letting his shirt ride up against the couch, just so she could cuddle into him even more than she already was.  He could feel her hand on his skin now, gripping at his side tenderly as the tears still rolled down her face.  He took the opportunity to place his hand in the small sliver of space where her shirt had ridden up too, squeezing and massaging it gently to comfort her.  “Y’okay?” his voice was barely above a whisper.

She didn’t respond.  Her eyes were glued to the TV.  As the movie continued, Matthew left his hand exactly where it was, and Effie left her hand exactly where it was.  Holding each other.  Clutching each other.  

When the movie ended, Effie didn’t move for a long time.  Not even when the credits began rolling on the screen.  “Are you okay, Effie?” Matthew repeated his question from earlier, albeit a bit louder and more pronounced this time.

“I think my heart is broken,” she finally let out, bringing the hand that was squeezing his side to her face so she could wipe her tears away.  “That was beautiful.  Beautiful.”

“It was,” Matthew agreed.  It was very obvious the movie was affecting her a lot.

Effie moved so she could look up at Matthew, craning her head and bringing her hand up to cradle his face so she could kiss him.  When their lips connected, Matthew could feel the wetness of her cheeks.  “I can’t believe I was ever scared of that,” she whispered against his lips when she pulled away.

“Doesn’t matter.  What matters is what you think now.”

Effie nodded.  He always knew the right things to say.  He was helping her change her past and way of thinking one way or another.  “I think I want to kiss you again.”

Matthew kissed her.  And even as the credits finished, neither of them would let go of the other.

***

The Calgary Flames home opener at the Saddledome had Effie buzzing with excitement.  She wore a brand new pair of jeans for the occasion, and arrived at the game with Jenna, Annica, and Geneviève.  As was normal for them, Annica was wearing her tried and true Lindholm jersey, while Geneviève was sporting a Markstrom one.  Jenna wore Levi’s old Iginla jersey.  

Effie had Tkachuk sprawled across her back.  

“Do you want to go down near the ice and wave?” Annica asked, and Effie nodded her head.  “It might get a big crowded, so stay near me.”

The ladies descended down the steps, joining the pretty big crowd that had formed against the glass beside Jacob’s net.  A bunch of kids were up against the glass with homemade signs, their parents near them taking pictures.  Some men around Effie’s age were there too, drinking beers with their jerseys on and taking videos on their phones.  Other girls her age were there too, taking pictures of all the players.  “Can you see Matthew?” Geneviève asked as she looked down at Effie.

“He’s over there,” she smiled, pointing at Matthew across the ice.  He was practicing his stickhandling, in such deep concentration that he didn’t look up for a while.  When he finally did look up, happy with his stickhandling, he began skating around the ice, bumping into Noah and Andrew along the way.  

Effie waved excitedly.

Matthew stopped when he saw her.  Even though there was glass streaked with puck shots and some distance between them, she could see him smile from ear to ear, his mouth guard hanging out.  He waved back, his hockey glove looking like a giant bear claw.

“God you two are insufferable,” Geneviève said jokingly.

Matthew continued to skate around, shooting the puck at the net, each of them going in.  Geneviève noticed all of his glances back at them, and the small smile constantly on his face as he went about his drills.  When the practice was almost over, she kept an eye intently on him, watching as he skated over.  She knew what he wanted to go.  “Go closer,” she said to Effie, urging her with a little nudge.  

Effie took her cue and stepped down, closer to the glass.  Matthew had flipped a puck over the glass towards a kid with a sign for him.  Now, as Effie watched, he pointed to her and made sure everyone around knew who he was pointing to.  She turned around slightly, pointing to his name on her back.  He smiled wide and flipped another puck, perfectly, right into her hands.  

Geneviève watched as the young women around them eyed Effie suspiciously.

***

“Matthew!” Effie squealed once he finally emerged from the locker room, his suit back on and his tie tied loosely around his neck.  She hugged him excitedly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he reciprocated.  “Great game!”

“Thanks, Effie.”

“And your goal!” she continued.  Now that she actually understood hockey, and now that she wasn’t scared about every little thing around her at the arena, she could actually enjoy the experience and know what was going on.  “What a great goal!”

He had the puck in his pocket, and had planned to give it to her, but right now his mind was elsewhere.  Seeing her in his jersey at the beginning of the game did things to him, and although he was able to focus throughout the sixty minutes, now that he saw her again with his name sprawled across her back, his mind was right where it was the moment he first saw her that night.  “Wanna come over mine and watch a movie?” he asked, his voice low so no-one else would hear.

To his complete surprise, Effie nodded her head immediately.  “Of course.”

They left inconspicuously without saying goodbye to anyone.

***

Effie broke down during the first scene.

Matthew had changed out of his suit and into a sweater and track pants, and Effie had taken off the jersey and hung it up in his front closet.  They cuddled on the couch together, exactly as they’d done when they watched Brokeback Mountain, and Matthew pressed play on Netflix.  The first scene was the main character, Esty, packing up her most valuable belongings, including a small picture of her grandmother, and running away from her Hasidic community.  All before the opening credits.  When the show’s opening played, he heard Effie let out a loud sob.

“Hey hey hey,” he cooed, watching as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth to try and control herself, but there was no use.  Tears were streaming down her face.  “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

“It’s me,” she said softly, through tears.  “It’s me.”

“C’mere,” he said, pulling her even closer against his body, if that was possible.  Every inch of her was touching him now, with his arms wrapped tightly around her, and he hoped that brought her at least some reprieve.  She was wiping her face with her hands, and he could see her chest heaving, though he could tell she was taking deep breaths to calm herself down.  Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.  “We can stop it or watch so—”

“No,” she interjected sternly, looking up at him.  “I can do this.”

“I know you can Effie, but—”

“No buts.  I can watch this,” she was adamant.  

Matthew lost.  He knew he would.  He bit his bottom lip and nodded his head.  “Will you promise to tell me if it becomes too much?”

Effie nodded.  She snuck her hand underneath his sweater to feel his skin again, and she – surprisingly – game him a quick peck before laying her head on his chest again.  “Press play.”

Matthew kissed her forehead, then the crown of her head, then laid his cheek there before pressing play.  

Effie broke down again less than ten minutes later, when the grandmother was listening to an old German song, An Die Musik sung by Elisabeth Scwartzkopf.  And again, when Yanky was searching her childhood bedroom and found her personal items and her music.  The last scene she cried to was near the end, when Esty’s biological mother showed up and gave her documents to prove German citizenship “just in case you need somewhere else to go”.  When the episode ended, Effie was shedding her last tears.  Matthew paused Netflix before the episode could switch over.  “You okay?”

Effie nodded, despite her tears.  “I know it’s different religions, but a lot of things were just, like, so similar,” she explained.  “The…the beginning brought me back.”

“I can only imagine,” Matthew whispered.

“The grandmother crying listening to that beautiful song.  Esty’s music.  Her mom still looking out for her despite abandoning her.  It all just…it all just really hit home.”  Matthew nodded.  It was the only thing he could do.  If Effie wanted to elaborate, she could, but he wasn’t going to force her.  Instead, he shifted her body so she was sitting more in his lap as opposed to right beside him.  She steadied her breathing, and her tears had stopped.  “When I went to live with the proph—Abraham, as his wife,” she began, “he made me leave everything at home besides my clothes.  I couldn’t see my favourite things unless I was visiting, and even then, I’d never be alone in my room for more than two minutes because he knew I’d be reminiscing, and he said it was a sin to dwell on my past life when I should have been looking forward to my future as his wife and as a mother to his son of God.”  She paused, biting her bottom lip; Matthew could tell she was remembering it all vividly in her mind.  “After a year my mom threw out all my things anyway.  Because she agreed with him.”

“What did you have?  What were your things?” he asked, sad and angry and disturbed all at once.  

“Just simple things.  Nothing special,” she said.  “My…my own Bible that I’d been using since I was a kid.  A journal I had where I recorded my favourite verses.  A doll I had when I was a kid that another member made for me.  Just stupid things.”

“They’re not stupid things if they were special for you,” Matthew said.  “I can’t believe your mom threw them all out.  My mom has kept my kindergarten paintings.”

Effie smiled slightly.  “That’s because you have a good mom who knows how to be a mother.”

Matthew digressed.  Effie obviously hadn’t meant Chantal yet, but Matthew talked about her enough that Effie knew a lot about her.  “I know I keep saying this, but you’re so strong, Effie.”

“It’s a lot to overcome,” she whispered, nodding her head.  They sat for a while in comfortable silence, just being with each other.  Matthew’s arms were still wrapped around her.  Effie was still in hip lap, looking at him.  “Will you kiss me, Matthew?”

Matthew smiled slightly before dipping his head down and capturing her lips in a kiss.  It wasn’t long before – once again – Effie took the initiative to slip her tongue into his mouth.  There was kissing – so much kissing – and Matthew took it upon himself to start to lay Effie down on the couch, his body looming over hers slightly and—

“Stop,” Effie said, her hands on his chest, pushing him off her slightly.  Matthew immediately stopped and moved away from her.  Her chest heaved up and down once before she pushed herself up.  “I’m sorry.”

“Never apologize,” he said.  “Did you see him again?”

Effie didn’t answer.  “I think it happened because we laid down,” she said, her lips puffy from all the kissing.  

Matthew was catching his breath.  He was thankful that he was wearing track pants or else Effie would see how…excited he’d become.  “How about you stay on top then?”

She furrowed her brows.  “What do you mean?”

“We—we can stay upright,” Matthew explained.  “You can sit on my lap if you want…facing me.  Or you could just…you know, like, sit…” he was losing his words.

Effie looked confused.  Nervous.  Like she didn’t know what to think.  Like she was picturing the scenario in her head and couldn’t really make sense of any of it.  “W—Women are allowed to do that?” she asked softly.  Matthew couldn’t speak; he could only stare at her flabbergasted.  He nodded his head slightly, and Effie thought about it.  How women could be ‘on top’.  What that would look like.  What that would entail.  “C…Can you—can you show…” she was too embarrassed to even be asking.  

“C’mere,” he said, extending his hand.  She put her hand in his and he pulled her towards him.  “Put your one leg over here,” he said, patting to the space on the other side of him.  She did so slowly.  “And your other leg goes here,” he explained, and she did the same movement, “and now you can just sit on my lap.”

Effie took a deep breath as she lowered herself down until she could feel his thighs as her seat.  Both she and Matthew had barely blinked the entire time during his simple act of showing her how to straddle him, but she had never done it before (and it wasn’t like she would have been allowed to), and so everything about it was new to her.  Now, she was face-to-face with him, her hands resting on his chest, his hands resting near the bend in her knees.  “This is new,” she said.

“Are you comfy?” he asked.  She nodded.  “D’you like it?” he asked again.

“It’ll take some getting used to,” she admitted.  “But I can see it being nice.”

Being nice.  Matthew couldn’t help but grin.  “It’ll be nice.  Trust me.”

Effie nodded.  She did trust Matthew.  So when she went in to continue their kisses, it was nice, and it was beautiful, and it wasn’t so bad anymore.  Which is why, when Matthew’s hands moved from her knees up her thighs, it was okay.  When his hands squeezed at her flesh through her pants before going higher, it was okay.  When his hands moved to her hips and pulled her even closer, it was okay.

It was okay.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Surprises

Natasha Romanoff x daughter!reader

Summary: Typically you spend every birthday alone with your mom, so a big party with all the avengers is definitely a surprise.

Warnings: mostly fluff, some happy tears, adoption

Word count: 1389

a/n: Another really cute request!! Thanks for sending it in! @maximeevansblog

Masterlist

"Happy birthday peanut!" Your mom woke you up with breakfast in bed, a birthday tradition for the two of you. No matter what was going on in the realm of the avengers, she always made sure to eat breakfast with you on your birthday.

"Thanks mom." You smile through a yawn, rubbing your face to wake yourself up more.

"What do you want to do today?" You weren't surprised by the question. You always get to choose what the two of you do on your birthday, but your hoping to add someone knew to the mix.

"I just want to stick to the usual stuff, hair salon, manicures! Maybe Bucky could come with us for lunch though..."

Natasha couldn't help but smile, truly happy at the idea of you wanting Bucky in your life.

Even before Nat and Bucky started dating, he took on a fatherly role in your life. For some reason, you clicked with him better than any of the other male avengers.

"Oh, I'm sure he would love to, but he's got some paperwork he has to get done today." She hated lying to you, but she wasn't going to blow the surprise now.

"Ugh, he always leaves it to the last minute! You need to talk to that man about time management." You huffed, stuffing more food into your mouth. "We can still eat dinner with him though, right?"

"Of course. He wouldn't miss your birthday dinner! Now hurry up and get dressed, we've got tons to do!"

You laughed at her antics, quickly getting up to change out of your pajamas. You would never tell anyone this, but you're convinced your mom likes your birthday more than you. It's the only day a year she truly lets herself get pampered, slipping away from her cunning assassin persona to celebrate with you.

After changing, you met your mom in the kitchen. Weirdly enough, you didn't run into anyone else in the compound before you left.

The first stop was the hair salon. You were finally going to dye your hair red. You settled on a reddish purple, drawing inspiration from your mom's red hair, but adding a twist just for you.

You sat and joked with your mom for the entire two hours it took for the hair dying process.

That was another of your favorite things about your birthday. Barring any world saving missions, the two of you would goof off like a normal family.

After your hair was done, you got lunch and went for manicures. You didn't want the color to clash with your hair, so you went with a classic matte black look.

You were so lost in the fun and laughter, you didn't notice Nat constantly checking her phone.

"Why don't we go shopping? You can pick out a fancy dress, 16 is a big birthday after all!"

"Are you sure? Where would I even wear a dress like that?" Your mom hated dress shopping at the mall. Usually she would have dresses brought to the compound, or well- Tony would for her.

"Definitely! We can just get dressed up for fun, have a fancy dinner with Bucky?" She posed the question as if the idea just popped into her head, relying on her spy training to convince you.

"That sounds so fun! Let's go!" You were too excited to be suspicious of her motives, so off you went.

After a few hours trying on dresses, you found the perfect one. It was dark gray and super sparkly. It fit you just right, the color perfectly complimenting your freshly dyed hair. You stepped out of the dressing room, eager to see your mom's reaction.

"Oh, honey. You're beautiful. That's got to be the one."

"My thoughts exactly!" You smiled, twirling around in your fancy dress.

Unsurprisingly, your mom looked incredible in every dress she tried on. She settled on a dark green satin gown, drawing attention to her bright red hair.

Taking the glamourous day to the extreme, the two of you walked out of the store still clad in the gowns. It made for quite the runway experience on the way back to the car.

You fell asleep on the ride home, tired from a full day of shopping.

Nat woke you up when she parked the car, gently shaking your shoulder,

"C'mon peanut, Bucky's got dinner ready." Your stomach grumbled at the mention of food, jolting you from your slumber.

"Did you tell him to dress up? I don't want him to be left out." You yawned, leaning into your mom in the elevator.

"Yeah, he's dressed up." Her tone lead you to believe she knew something you didn't, but you didn't have much time to question it.

"Surprise!"

The elevator doors slid open, revealing a massive amount of party decorations. The avengers stood around the room, all dressed to the nines, huge smiles on their faces.

You eagerly ran around the room, hugging everyone you could see. "Thank you all so much!"

You celebrated your birthday in style, eating your favorite finger foods in extravagant evening gowns. Everyone played games, sang happy birthday, and ate cake.

"Time for presents!" Tony announced to the room, never one to shy away from giving gifts. The man had money, and boy did he like to spend it.

Everyone sat down, waiting for you to start opening presents.

Steve gave you art supplies and a promise to finally teach you how to paint, something you'd been begging him for since you were 7.

Clint gave you a new bow, something you'd been bugging him about since he broke yours.

Tony bought you a car, something that genuinely caused you to scream.

Wanda and Sam gave you bath bombs and candles, two of your favorite things.

You constantly thanked everyone for the presents, feeling truly loved by the group of crime fighters.

The last present you had to open was from Bucky. He handed you a card, a nervous expression on his face. You gratefully accepted the envelope, hugging and thanking him before you even opened it.

The room went quiet as you tore open the envelope, a weird mood encompassing the group.

Again, you felt like they knew something you didn't, but you brushed it off, not wanting to seem ungrateful for Bucky's gift.

You pulled an official looking paper from the envelope, confusion apparent on your face as you began to read the heading out loud.

"At a term of the Family Court of New York, held in and for the County of Hamilton, in the matter of the adoption of Y/N Romanoff..." You trailed off, eyes filling with tears as you read the rest of the paper.

"Bucky, you... you adopted me?" Your voice was barely audible.

"Surprise?" He stuttered out the word, unsure what your reaction meant. Everyone thought you would be ecstatic at the news, maybe even scream louder than you did for the car.

"You adopted me." You whispered again, a mixture of disbelief and finality in your words. Tears were freely falling from your eyes, blurring your view of the room.

"Don't cry! I- I didn't mean to make you cry!" He was frantically looking around the room, terrified that he made a huge mistake. He loves you like you're his own, but maybe you didn't see him like a dad.

"I'm sorry! I'll fix it! I'll figure out how to undo it. I didn't want-"

"No!" Your voice startled the whole room. You smiled at the familiarity of nervous Bucky. He was like that when we first wanted to ask your mom out, unsure of how you would feel about it. "No, no, no. They're happy tears. I promise!" You sniffled, reaching out for him.

He instantly pulled you into a massive bear hug, the relief pouring out of him in waves. Everyone but Natasha quietly left the room, giving your little family a moment of privacy.

"I love you so much, Y/N. I just wanted you to know that I'll always be there for you and Nat. The two of you are my family." Bucky's voice wavered, full of emotion after the days event. Even Nat had tears in her eyes when she joined the hug.

You smiled up at him, tears still blurring your vision.

"I love you too, dad."

[btsqualityy]

Assuage: Chapter 11

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: None to note.

“I knew that you wanted to knot my sister!” Taehyung exclaimed, making everyone at the table and everyone in the dining hall look in his direction.

“Taehyung!” You, Yoongi, and Namjoon all chastised him. 

“I mean, he’s not wrong,” Jin shrugged.

“At least someone has my back around here,” Taehyung smiled triumphantly. 

“You don’t have to shout it to every one within listening distance though,” you chuckled. 

“I wouldn’t have a problem with that actually,” Yoongi spoke up and you looked over at him. “Everyone will know that you’re taken now.”

“Your gift will show them that,” you smiled at him. 

“Ahh, this is so cute!” Hyorin squealed. 

“Well, while you all sit here and fawn, why don’t we go get lunch since the pups and elders are done?” Hobi suggested, making Yoongi and Namjoon both nod. Yoongi leaned over and quickly kissed your cheek before standing up and walking away with the other two Alphas. 

“Ok, what the hell happened?” Jimin demanded to know as he, Hyorin, Jin, and Taehyung all leaned towards you.

“He invited me out to the stream a few days ago because he told me that he had something to tell me,” you began. “Once I got there, he gave me the sweetest speech about how he’s learned how to be a better Alpha since joining the pack and how he’s been so much happier and he said that that was because of me.”

“Really?” Hyorin sighed dreamily and you nodded.

“He then said that I make him want to be better and he offered me this,” you said, reaching up and picking up the pendant up from where it was hanging against your skin.

“Is that your?” Jin gasped.

“Our family crest,” Taehyung supplied for him.

“He made that for you?” Jimin asked.

“Yep, he cut the wood and carved it himself,” you told them proudly.

“I knew that he was looking at me weird last week!” Taehyung exclaimed. “He must’ve been drawing my tattoo.”

“He was,” you confirmed with a giggle.

“That was so thoughtful of him,” Hyorin cooed.

“I knew that you liked the lone wolf!” Jimin added with an excited laugh. 

“Well, I didn’t want to push him,” you shrugged. “And you guys know why,” you added and they all nodded in understanding.

“But now that he’s made his move, when can I start planning your mating ceremony?” Jin wondered, making your eyes widen. 

“Slow the fuck down, we’re not there yet,” you scoffed. “We’ve only been together for a few days.”

“Hey, Joon and I mated after officially dating for only a month,” Hyorin pointed out.

“But the two of you flirted for six years before that,” Jin snorted. 

“Y/N-ah and hyung have been flirting for months now though, so it’s the same thing,” Taehyung said.

“Ok, no it isn’t,” you laughed. “And we can stop all this talk about mating ceremonies unless it’s Tae’s and Jungkook’s.”

“Ugh, I can’t wait for spring to get here!” Taehyung squealed as he clapped his hands together. “We can start planning then so that we can have the ceremony after Kook’s birthday.”

“Don’t worry Taehyungie, we’ll help you,” Jimin assured him, making you, Hyorin and Jin all nod in agreement. Just then, the Alphas came back to the table, their hands brimming with plates for both themselves and the Omegas. 

“Here you go Tae,” Yoongi said as he leaned down and placed a plate down in front of Taehyung before taking his seat next to you. 

“Thank you hyung,” Taehyung smiled and Yoongi just shrugged his shoulders before placing your plate down in front of you.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him. 

“You’re welcome,” he murmured back, giving you a quick smirk before beginning to eat his food. Lunch went on as normal, conversation flowing easily as you all talked about different thing going on around the pack.

“Kook!” Taehyung grinned widely and when you looked up, you saw Jungkook walking up to the table. 

“Hey baby,” he muttered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Taehyung’s head. 

“You look exhausted,” Jin snorted and Jungkook sighed heavily as he sat down next to Taehyung. 

“I am exhausted. I had early morning patrol,” Jungkook told them. 

“Early morning patrol?” Yoongi repeated. “What’s that?”

“Tensions between packs aren’t getting any better,” Namjoon admitted and everyone at the table turned to look at him. “I just want to be on the safe side so I’ve been having some people do early morning and late night patrol duty, just to make sure there aren’t any lurkers on the territory.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hyorin asked and Namjoon just shrugged lamely.

“It’s just a safety precaution,” Hobi spoke up, sticking up for Namjoon. “We just want to make sure that no one tries us when we’re at our most vulnerable, which is when we’re asleep.”

“Oh, well I wouldn’t mind helping,” Yoongi offered and Namjoon smiled at him.

“That would be great Yoongi,” he said.

“We can set up a time later hyung,” Hobi added. “There are enough Alphas and Omegas on patrol that you should only have to do it once every other week.”

“Ok, just let me know,” Yoongi nodded. 

“Anyway, to change the subject,” Taehyung interjected. “Kook and I are gonna host a game night at our place tonight and you’re all invited.”

“Speaking of that, can we reschedule?” Jungkook wondered as he set his elbows on top of the table, resting his chin in his hands. 

“No!” Taehyung gasped. “We’re finally all moved into our new cabin and I want everyone to come over.”

“I’m exhausted though,” Jungkook whined. 

“Please?” Taehyung pouted and Jungkook looked towards everyone else for help.

“Uh, Jiminie and I are actually busy tonight Taehyungie,” Hobi told him.

“Since when?” Taehyung wondered as he narrowed his eyes at them. 

“Since right now,” Jimin shot back with a grin. 

“Hyo and I have a meeting with the elders tonight anyways,” Namjoon chimed in, and Hyorin quickly nodded her head agreement. 

“Do we lie too?” Yoongi quietly asked you.

“We definitely lie,” you confirmed. “Game nights with Tae tend to get a little...out of control.”

“How do you mean?” Yoongi wondered.

“Let’s just say that the last time we had a game night, Tae and Hobi didn’t speak to each other for three weeks,” you said, making Yoongi wince at the thought because he knew that Taehyung never stopped talking in general so that argument must’ve been pretty bad. 

“And what about you two?” Taehyung called, making you and Yoongi look over at him. “What lie do you two have for me?”

“Y/N-ah and I had a dinner planned for just the two of us tonight,” Yoongi replied and when Taehyung turned to look at you, you just smiled.

“Mmm. And what about you, Jin hyung?” Taehyung questioned and everyone looked at him. 

“I just don’t wanna come because you turn into a fucking demon on game nights,” Jin smirked.

“I do not!” Taehyung shouted and you just rolled your eyes as you leaned against Yoongi, smiling when he set his hand on your thigh as the two of you listened to Jin and Taehyung bicker with each other.

.....................................

“You know, I thought the whole dinner thing was a lie,” you giggled as you let Yoongi feed you some of the beef tips that he had cooked for you. The two of you were back in his cabin in the living room, sat on the couch with your legs thrown over his lap. 

“It was intended to be a surprise but Taehyung ruined it,” Yoongi huffed, making you smile. “Do you like them though?” He questioned, referring to the beef tips.

“I think the basically empty bowl gives you an answer,” you pointed out. “But yes, I do. They’re really tender and flavorful.”

“I’m glad you do,” he murmured as he fed you again. “It makes my Alpha feel good to see you eating well.”

“It makes my Omega feel good that you’re taking such good care of me,” you echoed. “Who would’ve thought that big, bad, Prime Alpha Min Yoongi would be such a softie?”

“Yeah, well don’t tell anyone or else we’ll have to fight,” he threatened you.

“We all know I’d win that fight,” you snorted.

“Tell me something,” Yoongi requested. “What did Taehyung mean when he said him and Jungkook’s new cabin? Were they not already living together?”

“Well, they basically were because Tae literally stays in Jungkook’s cabin like 6 nights out of the week,” you giggled. “But officially, no. Jungkook wanted to build a new cabin that was the both of theirs and that was somewhere that they could start the rest of their lives together.”

“So moving in together before you actually mate isn’t frowned upon then?”

“No, but it’s not exactly encouraged either,” you explained. “If for whatever reason a relationship doesn’t work out before they have a chance to mate, you don’t wanna have to worry about who gets to keep the cabin and who has to move out and all that stuff.”

“So, it’s just logistics really?” Yoongi summed up.

“Basically,” you nodded in agreement. “No one has really said anything to Tae or Kook about it though because they know that if Tae wasn’t distracted by them moving in together and having to make their house into a home, then there would be nothing stopping him from making Kook give him a bite. And we all know how weak Kook is for him.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Yoongi laughed. “So, what about you then?”

“What about me?” You wondered with a shrug.

“How do you feel about mating and bites and all that?” He questioned. 

“Well, I guess I’d consider myself to be pretty traditional,” you told him. “I’d like a mating ceremony, but I would want to exchange bites with that person before the actual ceremony.”

“When it’s just the two of you?”

“Yeah, I think it’s more personal that way,” you smiled. 

“And moving in?”

“I could take it or leave it,” you said. “I wouldn’t be opposed to moving in with someone before we mated, but I’d need to know that the relationship is definitely moving towards mating in order to be completely comfortable with it.”

“Ok, nice to know,” Yoongi murmured.

“And what about you?” You asked. “How do you feel about it?”

“Honestly, I’ve never given much thought to it,” he admitted. “All I’ve known is that I just wanted an Omega that I could love and care for.”

“Typical Alpha,” you teased. “Never caring about the little details.”

“Well, I guess I’m pretty traditional too in the sense that if I’m with an Omega, then I would trust them to make decisions that benefit both themselves and me, which is exactly what I would do.”

“Would you only trust them to make decisions in regards to things like mating ceremonies and how your future home would be decorated?” You asked, and Yoongi knew that you were asking him if he only trusted you to make decisions on things that were traditionally an “Omegas’ domain”.

“I used to think that, but not anymore,” Yoongi replied honestly. “As an Alpha and especially being Prime, having to make important decisions alone can be stressful and tiring, so it would be nice if I could have someone to shoulder that burden with.”

“Good answer,” you smirked, and Yoongi chuckled as he reached into the bowl one more time and offered you the last forkful. You opened your mouth, letting him gently put the fork into your mouth before closing your lips around it. You then slowly pulled away from him, maintaining eye contact as the fork slid out of your mouth.

“You’re gonna get in trouble Y/N-ah,” Yoongi warned you.

“Trouble isn’t always bad,” you smirked as you watched him lean forward and set the empty bowl on the coffee table before sitting back against the couch and looking at you. 

“I guess it isn’t,” he agreed. “Come here.” You leaned over, pressing your lips against his as you set your hands on his cheeks. The two of you wasted no time, his tongue working its’ way into your mouth as you moved so close to him that you were halfway on his lap, moving your hands away from his face and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Wait, we should slow down,” he mumbled against your lips and you shook your head as you sat up, maneuvering yourself so that you were actually straddling his lap.

“Why?” You whispered, setting your hands on either side of his neck as you looked down at him. “Do you not want to?”

“Fuck, I want to,” he exhaled harshly and you couldn’t help but to giggle at how insistent he was on reassuring you. “But I just don’t want to push you.”

“You’re not,” you swore. “Honesty hour?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve wanted you ever since the night of the full moon party, when you got me that plate of food and made sure that I ate well,” you admitted. “So trust me, this is definitely something that I’ve given thought to.”

“Oh yeah? How often?” Yoongi wondered with a smirk, making you automatically roll your eyes. 

“Don’t make me change my mind,” you joked, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling away again. “You know I will.”

“That I do,” he chuckled as he set his hands on your hips. “So, you said you want to but I need you to be specific. What do you want me to do to you baby?” Hearing him call you baby made your lower half clench in response so you leaned down again, brushing your lips against his as you answered his question.

“Want you to give me your knot, Alpha.” You didn’t even have time to pull your face away in order to catch his reaction because the next thing you knew, he was standing up abruptly and quickly stalking out of the living room, carrying you in his arms. 

“Yoongi, be careful!” You squealed as you wrapped your legs tight around his waist and tightened your arms around his neck. “You drop me, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“Oh, I’m gonna drop you on something alright,” he muttered and you reached down with one hand to smack him on the back. He continued to carry you down the hallway and into what you assumed to be his bedroom, stepping inside and using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. 

.....................................

Tag List:  @jikook-enthusiasts @veryuniquenamegoeshere @seolarsyj @littlrmills14-blog @preciouschimine @kt-rny @copenhagenspirit

[bibbawrites]

Take Me Home For Christmas - Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Request: “So I had this idea...you and char are newly dating and he invites you to spend Christmas with him and his family, but he introduces you as a friend, because you don’t feel very comfortable with his family yet...so it’s past midnight and it’s basically Christmas and you are in the living room, everyone else is asleep, and you’re sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, soft Christmas music is playing in the background and you start making out and one thing leads to another and you fuck there with the only light coming from the fire and the Christmas tree! You can turn it into a fic if you want!”

Word Count: 1371 words

Summary: Christmas is here and this year you’re spending it with your relatively new boyfriend Charlie and his family

Warnings: none that i know of 

A/N: okay so this is heavily inspired by the song Take Me Home For Christmas by Dan + Shay (both myself and the anon who sent the request were inspired by the song haha) i received this in my asks and knew i had to elaborate into a full fic, it didnt end up getting smutty though, sorry about that also i tried something new with not using any pronouns or gender specific words, so you could easily imagine the reader to be male or female :) hopefully you all enjoy this and have a merry christmas or whatever you celebrate at this time of year <3

“I want you to come home with me for Christmas.” 

Your head shot up from where it was laying in your boyfriend Charlie’s lap, as he braided and unbraided your hair. 

“You what?” You questioned. 

“I want you to come home with me for Christmas. Spend it with me and my family. I know your parents told you not to travel to them and I just don’t want you spending Christmas alone. Plus I’d love to wake up beside you on Christmas morning.” Charlie looked at you, his eyes full of anticipation. 

You were silent, taking in his offer. He was right, your family had told you not to worry about flying back to spend Christmas with them. It had hurt you at first, since this was the first time you’d ever spend Christmas away from them, but after you thought about it you realised they were only trying to keep you safe. 

Plus, you and Charlie had only been dating for a few months, it seemed like it was a bit too soon to be doing something as big as spending Christmas with his family. 

As if he could read your mind, Charlie spoke up. 

“We can always tell them that we’re just friends if that makes you more comfortable.” He suggested. You hesitated. 

“Okay.” You agreed. “Let’s do it.” Charlie grinned. 

“Really? You’ll come home with me?” He checked, and you nodded. 

“When do we leave?” 

You were leaving the next day, as it turned out. You woke up bright and early to finish packing, before heading to the airport to fly to Canada. 

It felt like time passed so slowly. From the car ride to the airport, to checking in, to the actual flight that was going to take around 11 hours. But finally you touched down in Canada, and before you knew it you were hopping into a rental car and on your way to meet your boyfriend’s family, nervously staring out the window. 

Charlie glanced over at you as he drove, reaching out to place his hand on your knee, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

“Don’t stress yourself out, they’re gonna love you. Besides, it’s only my mum, dad and Meghan, remember?” He told you. You bit your lip. 

“You’re still gonna tell them we’re just friends, right?” You checked. Charlie nodded.

“If that’s what you want darling.” He smiled softly. 

“Just for now.” You said and Charlie squeezed your knee again. 

“Then just friends we are.” 

Meeting Charlie’s family was less awkward than you had anticipated. They were all extremely welcoming, greeting you with warm hugs and excited chatter as they asked you about you life. 

After placing your bags in Charlie’s room, you found yourself in the living room with Charlie and his mother, as she questioned the two of you on how you had met and other questions that made you believe that she secretly knew that you were lying about just being friends. 

After a while she stood up, smiling at you. 

“Let me get the guest room ready for you Y/N.” She said sweetly. 

“Oh it’s okay, we can share my bed.” Charlie said. His mother raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay then.” She gave him a knowing look. “I guess I’ll just grab you a towel then dear.” 

She left the room and you glared at Charlie. 

“What?” He asked. You shook your head. 

“Way to be subtle.” You muttered. He rolled his eyes. 

“C’mon Y/N, no one is gonna figure anything out.” He told you. 

“Fine. But only cause I like cuddles.” You sighed, 

“I’ll be sure to get extra cuddly then.” Charlie grinned. You opened your mouth to reply but stopped as Charlie’s mother re-entered the room, handing you a towel. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, standing up. “I might have a shower now if that’s okay?” 

His mother nodded. 

“Of course dear. I’ll order us some takeout for dinner. Do you eat Chinese?” She questioned and you nodded. 

“Go have your shower, I know what you eat.” Charlie grinned. You smiled in thanks, heading out of the room and into Charlie’s bedroom where you collected some clothes before heading off to have a nice, hot shower. 

The next few days passed quickly with you and Charlie staying busy constantly. He showed you around his home town, taking you to all of his favourite places. You got to meet his childhood friends and spend some time hearing stories about your boyfriend growing up. He even took you ice skating, something you swore you would never do with him again after the disaster that was the first time he took you skating. 

Before you knew it it was Christmas Eve, and you found yourself curled up near Charlie on the lounge, the rest of his family scattered around the room as you watched Love Actually, a tradition you were happy to be included in, while the fireplace burned in the corner, filling the room with a comfortable warmth. 

The movie eventually ended and Charlie’s family all headed off to bed, wishing you both goodnight and merry Christmas. Once you were alone you snuggled closer to Charlie, resting your head on his chest. 

“I never want this moment to end.” You whispered, afraid if you spoke too loud you would ruin the magical moment you were having. Charlie ran his hands down your back, squeezing you tight to him. 

“Me neither.” He replied, voice just as low. “But I might have to ruin it.”

You sat up slightly, frowning. 

“Why?” You asked. Charlie shook his head, peeling himself out of your grasp. 

“Stay here.” He instructed. You nodded, laying back onto the couch and waiting. 

A few minutes later Charlie reappeared, two mugs in his hands. 

“Hot chocolate.” He explained, handing one of the mugs to you. You smiled gratefully. He placed his mug down, before heading over to the small speaker in the corner and connecting his phone up to it to play carols softly. 

“Merry Christmas, by the way. It’s officially Christmas Day.” He said, heading back over to the couch and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

You smiled against his lips, so happy that you were here with him. 

“Merry Christmas Char.” You replied. “I-” 

You hesitated. You’d never said the L-word to each other before, but in the last few weeks you had come to realise that you were definitely in love with the Canadian boy. Charlie frowned. 

“You what?” He questioned. You took a deep breath. 

“I love you.” You finished softly. Charlie’s face lit up, a massive smile appearing on his face as he threw himself at you, and you silently thanked your past self for placing your hot chocolate down on the table. 

“I love you too.” Charlie replied, his head buried in your neck. Your heart sped up. 

He loved you. 

And you loved him. 

You were in love. 

You grabbed onto the front of Charlie’s hoodie, pulling him up and kissing him quickly. He smiled against your lips, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you onto his lap, your lips never disconnecting. 

“I love you.” He mumbled against your lips. You smiled, breaking the kiss to press your foreheads together. 

“I love you too.” You whispered.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that.” Charlie smiled, pulling you back into a passionate kiss. Your fingers tangled through his hair and you tugged slightly, swallowing the moan that he let out. After a minute you separated, gasping for air. You smiled sweetly.  

“Do you want part of your Christmas present now?” You questioned. Charlie’s eyes widened and he nodded quickly. You grinned. 

“Bed. Now.” You muttered, climbing off his lap. Charlie stood up quickly, collecting his phone and hot chocolate and putting out the fire in the fireplace, while you stood waiting, your own hot chocolate in hand. 

He made his way over to you and you allowed him to lead you to his bedroom. 

And as you stripped off your clothes and fell to the bed together in a mess of kisses and giggles there was only one thing on your mind and that was how thankful you were that you decided to spend Christmas with Charlie. 

[taeyaxx]

How would the Haikyuu Captains spend Christmas with you? Like, what gift would they get you and the activities y’all would do? (Bokuto, Oikawa, Daichi, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Terushima)

tae’s notes: aaaaaaah!! ok so i love my nsfw but sfw like this makes my heart go 🥺🥰🥰 i really love hc’s like this too because all these boys are DORKS!!! thank you so much for the ask!! <3

⫸ ━━━━━━━━ ♥ ━━━━━━━━ ⫷

tags: sfw, fluff, bokuto is the biggest nerd when it comes to the holidays, holiday fun, cozy winter’s, warm sweaters, longer post, hc’s, mention of nsfw, mention of alcohol, just mostly sweet hc’s okay 🥺

⫸ ━━━━━━━━ ♥ ━━━━━━━━ ⫷

taglist: @kaaidalupita @ushiwakajimas @lunarkawa

okay so for bokuto i imagine him as the BIGGEST holiday person

like he goes above and beyond for the holidays 

especially Christmas!!! 

will go all out and i mean it!!

brings home a billion decertations and makes it a competition to see who can hang up the most in ten minutes

he always wins somehow 

buys you two ugly ass sweaters too

like i mean those really really ugly sweaters that he knows are ugly but it’s become a tradition between you two 

just wearing.......the ugliest sweaters as you two put the tree up 

as for gifts i think bokuto isn’t one to put like....a lot of money into them?

feel like he’s the type of guy to buy you something that hits you in the heart and makes you want to smother him in kisses

nothing too expensive but it’s the sentimental thought that counts

as for party games or activities i think bo would be into the cuter ones like gingerbread houses or just baking in general 

not that he knows how to bake but he likes to help you make cookies okay

(by help i mean he’s got his arms wrapped around your waist and chin on your shoulder and watching you bake and occasionally handing you things)

he’d sweep you under the mistletoe and kiss you until you both started laughing

picking you up he’d carry you off to the bedroom, sharing a chuckle with you for no other reason than just how in love he is with you

and then he’d quiet down and make the slowest, sweetest love to you 🥺

alright the next boy is the lovely oikawa!

feel like he isn’t the BIGGEST holiday person

for no reason i just think he’d be like “eh it’s another day”

but that DEF changes when he meets you

his attitude starts to go from “it’s a Tuesday” to slowly looking forward to every holiday he can celebrate with you

especially Christmas because it’s the one day he can spoil you in gifts and you can’t really get mad at him

like bokuto tho, he wouldn’t be the most expensive gifts

he’d get a bunch of things he had noticed you spoke of or the things your eyes lingered on just a little longer than others when you two were out

def the type to wake you up with breakfast in bed 

like isn’t the GREATEST cook in the world but he knows how to make some decent food

and he makes sure everything is perfect for your holiday morning

he’d pull out your favorite sweater of his and he’d wear it all day

bring you warm fuzzy socks and his favorite sweater for you and a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate

his main gift is probably that one pair of shoes you had wanted for awhile but could never bring yourself to buy

or just any similar gift

for activities, oikawa is ALL about the games

he sets up every holiday game he can think of 

does that stupid thing where he wraps a specific gift in like 12 layers of duct tape and 8 layers of bubble wrap and 5 layers of zip ties

like is an ASS abt it but it’s always funny having to beg him to get a pair of scissors for you because he went overboard again

after gifts he’d pull you off to the bedroom and kiss you slowly before 

giving you all the pleasure in the world 🥰

next is daichi! let’s just say....

MY BOY!!!

daichi here isn’t into any other holiday EXCEPT for Christmas 

mans does everything for Christmas

he’s buying the decorations and hanging them up with your help

setting the tree up IN NOVEMBER !!

goes crazy with the lights outside too

like y’all are def known for being THAT house on the street just 

full blown Christmas lights

when Christmas morning comes tho, he’d wake you up nice and early (not anymore so than normal tho) and take you into the kitchen where he’s made the BIGGEST breakfast for you

i’m talking every breakfast food is out on the tabel and you can’t help but shake your head

cause who’s gonna eat it all? 

somehow you two finish up whatever you can before he’s moving onto doing some small activities 

he doesn’t go crazy with them but likes to do some stuff with you

somehow got into painting? 

don’t know how it happened but i feel like he sets up an entire thing in one of the spare rooms

and you two just paint the silliest things you can think of 

and at some point you two def play drunk roulette and try to guess what alcohol was what in each cup  

as for gifts the man is stupid when it comes to buying things 

he goes so overboard when spending money on you 

doesn’t buy like 15 million gifts but will buy you 3 or 4 SUPER expensive gifts 

and you sit there, opening them up and knew he would spend too much money so you also had to buy more expensive gifts 

that he would use everyday just because you paid for them of course

by the end of the night you two end up on the couch, cuddling under a giant blanket, and watching some hallmark Christmas movies smh 

and if you want something a little more exciting, because daichi is That gentleman, he waits for you to ask

and when you do? y’all don’t even move to the bed 

he’d kiss you all slow and dim the lights and let the movie behind you play out as you two focus on the more intimate parts of the holiday

kuroo my baby.....my life....my heart I love him

mans is so cute during the holidays he’s just 🥺

baby boy doesn’t wake up super early at all

he’d wake up a little bit but you two know it’s too cold so you just cuddle in closer and fall asleep until noon

when you two finally get up tho, he’s sluggish pulling you out of bed and giving you a sweater to wear and that’s all he wants you to wear

pulling you into the living room to reveal his gift for you and it’s gotta be like a dog or cat or something istg 

you’d just walk into a new cat sitting on the couch just sleeping away and you just SIGH 

“kuroo...it’s adorable but this will be the 4th cat we have”

“BAAAABE it’s so cute tho 🥺”

so you get another cat lol Which is fine cause…..it is cute 🥺

can’t decide if kuroo would wait until night to get into the sexc or if he would just start the entire day off with little whispers and lazy sex and then it’s just all daaaaay baby 

pulls you into the bath together

like srsly would fuck you all day long as a gift too 

and god if it isn’t a great gift tho smh 

finally you both decide to get dressed and go out to any open place for dinner 

being too tired from the rest of the activities you had done all day

which is probably why you guys don’t play any games at all lol you just end up being too tired

so no traditional activities other than being bent over every surface in your house 

after it gets too dark i’m sure you two would just cuddle into bed, legs tangled up in a mess and just whisper all the things you love abt each other yk how it be 🥺🥺

NOW THIS IS MY MAAAAAAN UGH 

ushi doesn’t really see the desire of the entire holiday

like giving gifts and eating a good dinner should be EVERY NIGHT he thinks

Christmas eve you two would visit his family (cause uwu farm boi) so that way he’d have you all to himself Christmas day

probs has a tradition on like baking pie together or some kind of sweets

makes it a little competition to see who can bake the best pie tbh

you always win somehow

other than that he really isn’t into too many games?

he just enjoys your company and usually places you and himself in front of the fireplace and you two cuddle for the entire day

you read books and joke and laugh and paint your nails and do just mundane things together

at some point in the night tho he’d turn on some music and would slow dance with you in the kitchen 🥺

as for gifts?

BRUH

that’s all i’m gonna say sjksjd 

ok ok but no this man buys you SO MUCH

like yeah he doesn’t see the reason to buy you gifts only for this one day (cause let’s tbh he buys you gifts constantly)

but for Christmas? he just..... “oh this is a thing everyone else does so i must do it too” but in the kindest way

buys you an entire new wardrobe because he notices you wanting some new shirts

buys you new purses or wallets or jewelry

would surprise you with a trip to some vacation home somewhere

like he is all god giving on Christmas 

lowkey would def surprise you with an entire new wardrobe just for lingerie and you can’t fight me on this

it makes you a little sad you only buy him a few new watches and new ties or whatever else he might have mentioned over a few lunches or dinners

he doesn’t mind tho since he’s literally all abt pleasuring you yk

for the later activities tho, i feel like he’d be more like daichi?

like def would bend you over the counter as you two cooked dinner or in front of the fireplace but he waits for you

waits until you’re calling for him to make love to you

and when he does? UGH

let’s just say he has you crying later 

baby boy....baby....

much like kuroo i feel like he’d wanna make love ALL DAY 

wakes you up early just to have morning sex

after the third round you have to tell him they need to eat something

and tbh feel like he might lowkey forget to get you a gift until the LAST DAY 

like he def just bought this gift last night and wrapped it while you slept 

and tbh....it’s so cute of him to do that jkjks

he seems like the type to buy you jewelry or socks or both lol

like buys you a new necklace and some rings

def doesn’t try to talk you into getting a matching tongue piecing yk

also feel like he’d buy a new set of “bedroom toys” for you two to try out

and at first it’s like “of course he would” but you thank him later after using them

also a HUGE fan of ugly sweaters

but makes it a game to see who can MAKE the ugliest sweater like 

you will not see this man spend money on an ugly sweater but he will buy a bunch of ugly accessories just so you two can have fun making them

so it’s a tradition now that you two a week before Christmas begin making ugly sweaters

usually it ends up being a tie smh

feel like he would be into a bunch of other games tho

like the white elephant games or caramel apples and ginger bread houses

he just wants to spend all his time with you so he looks up a bunch of games you two can play 

he almost seems like the type to do puzzles? so maybe you two would work on a 2,000 piece puzzle together 

watch really old and bad movies together too

for some reason i feel like he’d be the best cook out of all the boys??? for no reason really i just...imagine he knows how to cook so well

so he def makes this big ass dinner of anything you wanted even if it’s not traditional food

like the one year you guys literally had PIZZA just because it sounded good

also talk abt snow ball fights and building all sorts of things outta the snow

and y’all can fight me on this............after a few years he’d be that cliche guy to propose to you and confess his entire heart out for you 

(of course you say yes becausae you’re so in love with him 🥰)

[supraveng]

Moving On (2/?)

part 1

Summary: you have to confront your past….what could go wrong

Characters: former Bucky Barnes x reader, Sam Winchester x reader, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson

A/N:  here is the angsty piece, it will have at least 2 more chapters; does not follow any MCU story line; attempting an MCU/SPN crossover; let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters

@iamwarrenspeace  @mythandmagik   @lieswithoutfairytales​   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet

Returning back to the compound after the 3 day mission was bittersweet,  you missed your daughter but not being able to get Roman locked up made you want to continue the task until it was truly completed.  By the time you made it back, it was late and everyone was sleeping but you were far too wired to sleep any time soon so after checking on Joy and Kevin, you made your way to the common room for a night cap.  

Everyone had their own post mission tradition, Sam and Steve hit the gym, Nat and Wanda headed to the movie room, but Bucky was in the kitchen making food. You walked in to get ice for your whiskey and froze in the doorway just watching him. 

He addressed without turning around "hope you are hungry, I made a lot more food than I can eat''   “only if your cooking skills have improved, I don’t want food poisoning” you joked as you stepped closer and took a deep inhale of the food he was making.  

Looking at him shocked, “you’re making curry chicken?”  “Well, i know it’s your favorite and we haven’t had time to sit and talk, so consider this a peace offering” he shyly smiles at you while he hands you a full bowl and nods his head toward the table.  

“Go sit, I’ll grab us a few beers and join you”, you smile and nod as you sit down at the table and slowly take your first bite.   The food is amazing and you are completely shocked that Bucky threw this together, he was never one to do more than boil water or call for take out. 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence while you ate, it was nice being friends with Bucky again, but you knew you need to discuss what went wrong if you wanted to truly restore your friendship.  

“Well Barnes, I am impressed, this is delicious” you told him with a smile.  “I’m glad you like it, and if you are going to be here more often, I’ll learn to make some of your other favorites” he grinned at you.  

“Bucky..” you sighed “I don’t think I’ll be back in NY much, I’m based in DC now and I have a great life there, I miss the team, but this isn’t my home any more” you tell him solemnly.  

“I thought we were going to talk, so we could fix us, you aren’t even gonna give us a chance?” he was angry and you didn’t understand why.  He was the one who decided he didn’t want to be with you any more.  He made that choice and you were the one to figure out how to live with it.  

“Bucky, I agreed to talk and get our friendship back, but there can’t be an us. I’m sorry, but It’s too late for us” you try to remain calm but you are shocked that he thought one dinner would fix everything.  

“I still don’t know why you dumped me like you did, and that was hard for me to deal with, but then seeing you a week later with some up and coming model on your arm at Tony’s party, it made me understand that what I thought we had was never real.   I had no choice but to move on, and right now, I’m not even sure there is a friendship to salvage” you stood and cleared your plate, rinsing it and placing it into the dishwasher before looking back at Bucky.  

“I don’t know what else to do here, so I’m going to turn in before either of us say anything we are going to regret. Goodnight” and with that you headed towards your room.  Immediately getting back into your room, you checked that Joy was still sound asleep, then headed to take a long shower.   

The heat from the water washing away the stress from the failed mission and the tension in your muscles from the short conversation with Bucky.   After drying off, you went to pull your pj’s from your clothes when something else caught your eye, an oversized plaid flannel shirt was tucked among the t-shirts you had packed.  With a huge smile on your face you buttoned up the shirt and crawled into bed, falling asleep almost instantly with the added comfort surrounding you.  

~~~~

Before you had fully woken up there was a knock at your door, you opened it to find Bucky with a sheepish grin.   “I was hoping to talk to you before things got crazy, can I come in?” you nodded and stepped to the side.  “I came to say that you are right.  Steve helped me understand that it’s not fair after all this time to expect you to forgive me or take me back, and obviously you have a family now, but i wanted to apologize and explain what happened” he told you as you both sat on the couch.  

“Thank you Bucky, and I accept your apology, but there’s no need to explain, we’ve both moved on and it's in the past.  I know you are a good man, and whatever made you decide to end things was probably to spare me in some weird way.  I’m ok, and I’m happy where I am now, and that wouldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t ended the way we did.” you smile at him, almost thanking him but you weren’t there yet.  

“Yea, you’re right, let’s move on and be the friends we used to be, please?”  “That works for me” you stood up and hugged Bucky, as mad as you once were, he was a good person and deserved forgiveness.  Just as you were about to speak you both heard the soft murmuring from Joy in the next room.  

“I need to get her, but can we join you for breakfast?”  he nods as he heads back out to the hallway.   By the time you were heading into the common room, most of the team was there in multiple varieties of awakeness.  

When FRIDAY announced a visitor coming up in the elevator you gave a questioning look to Tony who just shrugged.  You were too busy cutting up fruit and pancakes for Joy to notice that the elevator had dinged and footsteps were coming towards you, until they stopped behind you, Joy’s eyes lit up and she screamed “daddddyyy”.  

Turning around you gasped when you saw your fiancé standing behind you with a big wonderful grin.  Joy was crawling out of her chair as quickly as her little legs could carry her in order to reach her father as fast as she could.  He immediately scooped her up and pulled you into a hug, his warmth and scent making you feel calm and relaxed, home, you thought.  

When you finally broke apart and Joy started yammering on about all that had happened since you arrived you looked over at Tony, who was surprisingly quiet.  You wanted to question him, but the only thing that came out was a huge thank you.  

Once Joy settled you thought it best you introduced him to the team “So, everyone, this is Sam Winchester, honey, these are the Avengers”  you gestured to the table of your longtime friends.  “I can’t believe you are here, and so early” you joked.  

“What can I say, I missed my girls so much I ditched my morning run and hoped on a flight” he shrugged before leaning in to kiss Joy on the forehead.  

“Well, we were headed out for our run, we can wait for you to change if you want to join us?” Steve told him without really thinking about the whole situation.  

“Heck yea, running with Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, I’m not passing up that opportunity” he almost yelled with excitement.  You giggled at how star struck he seemed, remembering how he was very nonchalant the first time he met Tony, until you were back at your apartment and he could fangirl all over.   

“Is that ok? I just got here, I don’t want to just bail on you, babe” he asked almost worried about your response.   Shaking your head you waved him on “it’s fine, go and enjoy your run” he placed a kiss to your lips before heading off to change.   “my daddy wun weally fas” Joy told the table and you just nodded as you laughed.  

“Well, you guys have a good run, and hey, now Steve and Bucky each have their own Sam to lap” you and the others laughed as the four headed to the elevators.  

“You don’t seem worried about Bucky and Sam spending time together” Nat mentioned as you started to clean up from breakfast.  “I’m not, Bucky and I talked, he apologized, I forgive him and Sam already knows everything, there’s nothing to worry about” you told.  

“Everything everything, or the cliff notes everything?” she asked.   Always the interrogator you shook your head and smirked at her.  “Everything, everything, this is the man I am spending the rest of my life with, he knows it all” 

“Even the kinky shit?” Wanda whispered, hoping your daughter wasn’t hearing the conversation.  You laughed harder and turned toward the two of them, wondering how much you should divulge.  

“Let’s just say, Winchester kinky is on a whole different level than Barnes kinky…..and I am done discussing this topic with little ears close by”  you left the two women gawking as you took your daughter to get cleaned up and dressed to spend the afternoon playing with Morgan.  

Once you had gotten yourself ready for the day, you headed to the gym for a light workout with Nat and Wanda knowing the previous conversation would probably come up again.  As you arrived in the gym you were surprised to see Thor, he had just arrived from Asgard and brought you into a bone crushing hug almost immediately.  

“Lady Y/N, it has been too long, but you look as radiant as ever.  I heard you have brought a suitor with you on this visit, I wish to meet him, find if he is truly worthy of you.”  Blushing you smiled at Thor, he was always so respectful and made you feel far more honorable than you usually did.  “Yes, he is currently on a run with the guys, there’s no telling how long they will be gone”

You were feeling a bit sore from the mission, so decided that some light weights and cardio would be enough for the day, considering it was technically your day off since there had been no new leads on Roman.  Taking a water break you looked over to find the guys coming back from their run.  They were all smelly and dripping in sweat but seemed to be getting along.  Sam came rushing over to you, picking you up and swinging you around with a huge grin on his face. 

“I take it you had a good run?” you smiled up at him once you got your feet back on the ground.  “It was amazing, you never told me how incredible this complex was” he was panting but still seemed happy about the overexertion.  

When you saw Thor approaching, you took a small step back from Sam and attempted to introduce the two.  “Lady Y/N, I assumed your suitor was of Midgard, but he’s much larger than most, sir, are you Asgardian as well?” he asked as if that would be the only logical explanation.   

You busted out laughing, but you calmed down as Sam explained he was born and raised in Kansas and not Asgardian.  Before you could fully understand what was happening next, you see Thor and Sam stepping up to spar.  

“Woah, Thor, he’s not Asgardian, I don’t think this is a good idea” you told them. 

“Lady Y/N, I understand in your delicate condition you are concerned, but I assure you no harm will come to the father of your children” Thor announced as he got into his ready stance.   

“My condition?....children?” you mumbled looking between Thor and Sam trying to figure out what he was talking to.  

“I apologize if I overstepped, I was unaware you being with child was a secret” he told you earnestly, almost worried you would be upset.  

“I what?”  “You’re what?” you and Sam both responded, looking at each other and then back at Thor, dumbfounded.  

“Were you two not aware?” he asked with a smirk, after you both shook your heads no in response he practically cheered “Surprise!” 

Part 3

[simonsrosebud]

Kevin's first real christmas with dalton!!

kevin says he’s celebrated christmas before, but it’s not true.

sophomore year he spent it locked in wymack’s apartment with a broken hand and ongoing anxiety attacks.

junior year he went to new york with matt and nicky and the others which was weird because they didn’t actually do anything christmas-y and he was drunk for a lot of the trip.

and last year he had dinner with abby, his father, and andrew and neil.  but then neil was having a panic attack because this time the year before he was at evermore.  they left early and kevin ducked out because he didn’t want to intrude.  

then he spent the whole next few days panicking over meeting dalton’s family.

this year, his last year at palmetto, dalton asks if he wants to spend christmas in maryland with him and his family.

there’s no question, of course he’s going.

dalton tells him when they’re at the mall about all the things they do, and how they’ll go to new york again if he’s okay with it.  and then, “what do you guys normally do for the holidays?”

kevin freezes.  he thumbs at a shirt on the rack in front of him.  “uh... last year me neil and andrew had dinner with my father and abby, but neil was having some ptsd relating to this time of year, so it was kind of a mess...”

“that sucks.  for him, i mean.”

“yeah.”  he nods.  it does suck, and kevin still blames himself.  “and the year before i went to new york with the team to matt’s dads place, but i was drunk most of the time,” he mumbles.

dalton feels like an idiot for asking, “and before?”

kevin shakes his head.  broken hand.

“we ran practices every day of break at the nest.  never celebrated any holidays growing up.”

he did have one thing he did every year.  he lit a candle for his mother.  he didn’t realize it until his first christmas away from the nest, when he was hidden at wymack’s apartment and noticed the man didn’t have a single candle lying around.

he sparked wymack’s lighter and sent up a quick prayer instead.

dalton slides up to his side and wraps an arm around his waist.  “i’ve got to impress you this year, then.”

“the bars set pretty low.”

when dalton’s on the phone with his mom that night, he tells her about kevin’s lack of experience with the holidays.  “have you done the tree yet?”

“i was planning on doing it tomorrow, why?”

“do you think we could wait and do it all together when me and kev are there?”  he hesitates.  “he’s never really celebrated christmas and done the typical traditions, and i know he wants to cause his mom used to.”

anne’s heart wants to break a little.  “i’ll save it until you get home.  and he’ll be here in time to make cookies, too.”  oh boy.  “you guys can go ice skating if that one place does it again- you know the one, and uh... should we get him a stocking?”

“me and bella got him a present!”

“is that carm?”

“yes!”  she steals her mothers phone.  “he always pays for things for us when he’s here so we got him this peanut butter sampler pack and an ocean city maryland crewneck.”

dalton pouts, but only because it’s cute to him that they did that for his boy.

when they drive up, dalton’s family welcomes him like they haven’t seen him in years, and it makes kevin smile every time.  they don’t get in until late, but bella still peeks into dalton’s room once they’re in bed for the night.  “did you bring your racquet?”

kevin’s got his eyes closed, he’s tucked underneath dalton’s big comforter and arm with an ankle thrown over his boyfriend’s.  he hums a yes.

dalton grumbles.  “shut the door, bella.”  and tugs the blanket up to his chin.

they wake up earlier than they’d like.  anne and george are at work, and the girls are still asleep.  he has dalton at his back and an arm holding him close.

kevin doesn’t ever want to move.

he only does when dalton’s phone alarm goes off.  “what’s that for?”  he groans.  dalton reaches over him to shut it off and drapes his arm and leg right back over kevin.

dalton’s voice is muffled.  “shopping day.”

oh fuck.  he knew d had said something about shopping yesterday.

it takes them another half hour to get up, and kevin hates the mall to begin with, but this is unbearable.  he’s just lucky they’re there a week out and not the day before christmas eve.

kevin stops.  they’re in a clothing store, and he’s wandered to the women’s side.  he sends a few pictures to allison, and when dalton come over he holds up a fuzzy bomber jacket and an oversized jean jacket.  “for the girls?”

“i already got their gifts.”

“but from me?”

“oh.”  dalton smiles.  “then absolutely.  did you already text allison?”  he’s joking, but laughs when kev shrugs because that’s so a yes.

anne has the family decorate the tree that night after dinner- takeout, and kevin is kind of in heaven looking through dalton’s ornaments from when he was a child.

“you wanna put the star on top?”

their ceilings are high enough for them to have a fake tree tall enough for kevin to not be able to reach, which is definitely a first for him.

so instead, he gets on dalton’s shoulders.

after they’re done, anne sits next to kevin on the sofa.  “you know, i never did the thing where i show you all of dalton’s baby pictures, but i did find this yesterday.”

and kevin turns to look at the book in her lap, and smirks.  “no way.”  

it’s a small book, with all of dalton’s school picture day photo’s going back to kindergarten.  “this is better, i think.”

dalton stops, and lets his head roll back.  “can we not?”

“no, we can.”  kevin takes the book and opens it up to a random page.

“you’re not allowed to mention the braces.”

“but they’re so bad!”

christmas eve is fun.

kevin is no cook, dalton is and even then that’s saying something, but anne puts kevin to work after he’s up in the morning.  they’ve got a lot of family coming over around six, and she needs help in the kitchen.

he’s doing pretty alright, he thinks, and his face lights up when anne tastes a bit and pats his arm.  “that’s really good.”  it’s a passing thought, and she leaves right after to make a run to get more of something at the store.

but when dalton comes back from the alcohol run, kevin’s plenty proud of it anyway.

and then, because he’s already dirty from cooking anyway, he helps dalton’s father with stuffing the turkey.  “you actually stuff it?”

he knows it’s called stuffing, but he’s never actually seen it prepared.  or eaten it, he doesn’t think.  abby doesn’t make it for thanksgiving or anything because only she and nicky typically eat it.  it goes to waste.

george nods.  “stick your hands up there, kid.”

kevin lowers his stare to dalton just sitting there across the table.  he grins.  “you’re doing great, babe.”

kevin takes a shower after he’s done while the others do what else needs to be done.

once dalton’s family starts filtering into the house it’s a little chaotic.  in a good way, opposed to the way that he typically knows chaotic to be.

he’s fine, really, once he gets used to it.

at this point they all know who exactly dalton’s boyfriend is, but kevin only recognizes a few faces so he still gets the excited introductions from the few that are fans.

two of them are younger kids, anyway, so that’s at least entertaining and cute.

dalton comes to stand with kevin and his cousin.  “can i steal him for a sec?”  he takes him by the hand to the other room where the two younger cousins are lounging.  “dessert is out, guys.”

they go running out of the room.

“that was cruel,” kevin says, but then dalton is holding something above their heads and-

oh

mistletoe.

“are you sure?”

kevin smiles.  “i take it back.”  and pulls dalton in.

dalton grins against his lips, and after a moment pulls away just a bit.  “that’s not actually why i pulled you away, but i got lucky.”

kevin kisses him again, because he can, and dalton turns.  there’s a ledge above the unused fireplace that his mom usually uses for picture frames, but there’s a candle in the middle, now.

“you’ve told me about lighting a candle for your mom, and i figured maybe you’d still want to do it even though you’re here this year.”

he definitely does, and dalton presents him with a lighter when he nods.  kevin lights it silently, and watches it for a moment.  “thank you,” he says quietly.  “i know you listen, but i didn’t expect that...”  he wraps his arms around dalton’s waist.  “it’s really nice.”

“yeah, well, i’ve got to impress her.”  he kisses the top of kevin’s head.

christmas morning, kevin looks surprised when bella says “kevin’s turn” because he really isn’t expecting to get gifts.  he has money, he doesn’t need anything.

but then he opens the peanut butter sampler package, and after taking a moment to read it he starts to smile to himself.  “i love peanut butter.”  it’s almost a whisper, but it makes everyone laugh and sends warmth through his chest.

he hugs the box to his chest.  dalton hugs him from the side for a moment, and then kevin gets more surprised because dalton’s parents are handing him a bigger box and oh my god it’s a little portable mixer for his shakes and a nike gift card.

he and dalton do their gifts alone.

dalton gets him a big chunky weighted blanket and a new pair of sneakers that he’s been eyeing for weeks, and then kevin unwraps a small frame.  and in the middle is the ticket to the first game of kevin’s that he’d gone too, with a heart drawn on the corner so many times that it’d been indented the ticket.

he remembers teasing him about the heart, but he never knew he kept the ticket all this time.

kevin tackles him from where they’re sitting on the bed.  “i love it, and you.”

kevin gets dalton airpods, sweatpants that say “my boyfriend likes my tramp stamp” on the butt as a joke, and a box of his favorite coffee k-cups from a brand that supposedly stopped selling them months ago.

and last, a thin gold necklace, long enough to tuck under his shirt like he used to do with his cross necklace until it broke.  except this one has a small “k+d” hanging.

dalton’s smiling down at it, and rubs the charm.  he pouts and looks up at kevin.  “you got this made?”  he nods.  “can you put it on me?”

he nods, and drapes it around his neck to clasp it.  he presses a kiss to the back of dalton’s neck when he’s done, and dalton kisses him when he twists around.

“i love you.”  he wraps his arms around kevin’s neck and leans into him.  kevin lies down on his back so dalton’s on top of him.  he thumbs at the necklace hanging.

“looks good on you.”

dalton kisses him.  “i know.”

they have dinner at dalton’s aunts house.  it’s just her, her husband, and her two kids, so it’s nothing like the night before.

wymack calls just after dinner.  “merry christmas.  what are you doing?”

“merry christmas, we just ate, we’re at his aunt’s house.”

“everything going good?  no problems?”

he glances through the doorway at dalton at the table and smiles to himself.  “no problems.”

[lightthewaybackhome]

Sorry this is so long. Probably should have done a 2 parter.

"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!" - Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be artistic. I’ve wanted to create. I love beauty. I love artistry. I love creation. I love the artsy look: jewelry, tattoos, flowing clothing, and funky hair. It is a personal aesthetic I keep returning to, especially as I get older. As a child, I tried so many different forms of art—painting, photography, drawing— but none of them seemed quite right. None of them got what was in my head out. All of them fell short until I started writing. Writing was a flame, a fire, a drug. Writing allowed me to express what was in my imagination. This is the first thing to understand.

Everyone is artistic and art is everywhere. I’ve believed this as long as I can remember. There are amazing artistic feats in our world: books, movies, video games, paintings, sculptures, and magnificent pieces of music. Yes, art can be very high and very special. But, art can also be found in charcuterie boards, homemade quilts, sourdough bread, cocktails, soup, and all ordinary things if we but look and see. Art can be high magic and art can be ordinary. This is the second thing to understand.

As I’ve embraced being a homemaker, a HearthKeeper, a woman where she’s meant to be, I came across the term domestic artist. As much as I didn’t like the book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle, it gave me this. It gave me the term domestic artist. That stuck with me. It spoke to me because it captured both the first and the second thing. It captured the never-ceasing call to create which haunts me at all times, and it elevated and honored the ordinary in a sprinkling of fairy dust. It said, “Yes, you have to cook today. Three meals plus snacks and drinks. It’s your job, but, but, what if, what if instead of looking at it as some drudgery, some Cinderella enslavement, what if you looked at it as an opportunity to create beauty?”

Not every meal, every outfit, every moment of your day can be a work of art. Some days you just have to do what you have to do. Some days get upended in the opening credits with a broken washer or a sleepless child. Some days plans change. Life changes. One minute life looks like this, and then the next it’s on to something completely different. But, the beauty of being a domestic artist is that you can create art in any of these moments and in any setting. You can find art in any moment and in any setting.

See, the world tells us that homemaking, HearthKeeping, is boring. It tells us it’s pointless. A waste. You could be changing the world. Only dumb useless women keep their homes. And that’s because they’re either tied down by a dictator of a husband or the demands of children or the cultural trappings of their religion. Courage, dear heart. Courage! Homemaking is magic. Homemaking is flexible. Homemaking changes with the seasons and the woman. I, I am a bit bohemian, a bit rustic, a mixture of rugged and romantic. I grew up a tomboy, but have embraced being a woman in her home since I was a child. I love leather and lace. I love cottage-witch aesthetics. I love boots and long flowing things. I like deer heads, linen, skulls, and ruffles. I like feathers and dreamcatchers, but I also love to decorate with open space. I love pies and feeding my husband. But, look at this, one of my best friends is a classic. She loves clean lines, traditional and timeless pieces. She loves modern accents. She loves beachy highlights and hammocks. She’s not into farmhouse, rustic modern, or raw-edged wood. On any given Sunday, she’s in a pencil skirt, simple top, simple heels with her three daughters in matching dresses while I’m in distressed boyfriend jeans, a mullet-tucked top, and wearing my crow skull. We’re very different, but we’re both homemakers who love making our homes.

I have a woman in my life who quilts and that flows out into their decorating. So many of her things are beautifully hand sewn. If she wants it, she makes it. Another friend grew up in Africa and her home is filled with her love of that culture. One dear friend loves plants and grows amazing flowers that she uses to create Instagram-worth bouquets. Another woman isn’t super fluffy-feminine but she has an eye for remodeling and so is constantly making improvements on her home: flooring, painting, and more. My sisters, like me, both enjoy a minimalist approach to decorating and all three of us have a special place for coffee. Both my sisters’ homes are welcoming and peaceful even with kids running around like crazy.

That’s the point, the world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility. For over five years, I’ve struggled with chronic health issues. Homemaking lets me decide each day what I can do and how I’m going to do it. Homemaking lets you change what you do for each season of life. Lots of littles? Keep it simple. Empty nest? Explore. Somewhere in between? Keep growing. Lots of energy? So many things you can expand into if you just refuse to believe the lie that homemaking is beneath you. Don’t be normal. Don’t believe that homemaking is a waste of time. Don’t buy into the lie that you are somehow being less than everyone else when you raise your children, love your husband, and create beauty. Have the courage to be strange. We were made for this! It suits us. This is an environment women thrive in.

When I got over my grammar inhibitions and started writing, I felt like my soul came alive. I felt like I’d finally found what I’d been searching for since I came into this world. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing an epic story or writing about HearthKeeping or just word doodling, writing, words, stories just flow from me. Wonderfully, homemaking is like that for me, too. I want to read books, I want to learn, I want to talk about it, I want to do it. It’s not perfect. I don’t always feel glorious, but I do feel ‘right’ when I’m doing this. I feel like I’m where I belong. I feel like this is a place I can both rest in and grow in. I feel safe when I’m having a fatigue flare up and I feel excited when I think about all that I can do.

A real-life example: Sundays are long hard days. They’re days that generally spike my fatigue and my husband is worn out. They’re both the best and hardest day of the week. When we get home I make a cocktail and we crash. Inevitably, the minute I sit down my man asks for a snack and what we’re having for dinner. For several years, this drove me up a wall. It is Sunday. The day of REST, why is it my responsibility to always make food? Epic sigh. Epic whiny sigh. I would meal plan for the whole week and then wing it on Sunday and Monday, always with poor results and grumpiness on my part. Then, one week as I meal-planned, I realized that I could also prepare for the weekend. Lightbulb. Facepalm. Really? Why had it taken me into my 40th year of life to realize that if I want a quiet, restful, happy weekend, I should just plan snacks, drinks, and meals ahead of time? I’m going to blame it on my chronic health, brain fog addled mind. I’m going to blame it on laziness. I’m going to blame it on being a young homemaker. Some are understandable, some are inexcusable.

Sundays now involve way less stress because I can immediately prepare snacks and know what we’re eating the minute we get home. No more attitude issue. No more stress. Easy and nice.

Did this change the world? Does this matter to anyone but myself? Did my husband even notice? Maybe not, but this is homemaking. This is HearthKeeping. It is my job and my calling. Even without notice or world-shattering consequences, I’m pleased with the outcome. More than pleased, I’m really happy about it. It brings me joy and delight to find a better way to take care of my family. It allows me to sprinkle my Sunday afternoon with just a little bit of artistry. I make drinks, snacks, dinner. I feed my family.

See, one of the lies that the feminists preach is that we’re wasted in our homes. And yet, the majority of the women I know who work outside the home aren’t doing glamorous jobs. They’re not travel bloggers or world-renowned chiefs or CEOs. They’re cosmetologists, retail workers, bank tellers, nurses, teachers, and such. Now, none of those are bad. Working outside the home isn’t bad. (I think each family has to decide what family looks like to them.) Please, please, don’t read that as degrading. I worked retail and I think retail is important. These are all God-honoring employment in which you can strive and serve. I’m not bashing any of those jobs. I have many many dear friends who work outside the home. What I am saying is that I think we as women need to ask ourselves if leaving our homes en masse was worth it. Has it given us all the joy, delight, and fulfillment the feminists promised us?

I’ve done both. I’ve been a co-owner of a business that I helped grow from nothing to something amazing. I’ve worked as an everyday retail worker. I write and am the main editor for a small neighborhood magazine. And I’m a HearthKeeper. I will tell you right now, no qualifications, that HearthKeeping is the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. It not only challenges me every day but it also works with me. The boundaries are what I set in place and so I grow as I can. The work never ends, yes, but it also never ends. There is always something else to explore.

I think being a homemaker is largely attitude. You can buck against what you do, and most women do. Just spend two minutes on Pinterest looking at doing laundry or dishes and the bitter hatred comes pouring out. Look at the complaints women make against their churches: we’re relegated to doing nursery work and kitchen duty. What if, just for a moment, we decided to be Domestic Artists? What if, for just a moment, we tried loving our jobs instead of complaining? What if we thought that dishes meant food and good times and healing of the souls around us? What if we saw laundry as a way to keep beauty and cleanliness around us? What if we saw it as our privilege and delight to take care of the food, children, clothing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, growing of the next generation, and the men of the world? What if we embraced the domestic arts and saw them as truly magnificent, glorious, unique arts? How many of us would be able to say with a straight face that working retail is more fulfilling than managing a small world? Is it more fulfilling to go work in an office than it is to orchestrate a place of welcome, rest, and renewal for your husband and yourself? It might be more visible, but is it truly more long-lasting?

I can say that it isn’t. I can say that I think being a homemaker is uniquely suited for women and that we should have the courage to go against the grain of our world and say no. No, I’m not going to give all of myself to work outside the home when the home is far more challenging and interesting. No, I’m not going to believe the lie that homemaking is oppression and boredom. I will find beauty in the ordinary and I will embrace art in the everyday. This is one of those amazing jobs where it is what you make it. It is what you pour into it. If you think it’s boring or demeaning you won’t get anything out of it. If you think it is challenging and rewarding, you will get the world out of it. You will grow yourself and those around you. Think about what a wonderful thing it would be if we made our homes our careers! If we women really took on the label Domestic Artist in our own individual ways.

[elen-aranel]

Lt., Phone Home Part 2 (Part 1)

The Engineer’s Adventures

1-1 • 1-2 • 2 • 3 • 4

A sequel to Lt., Phone Home For @autumnleaves1991-blog who said she’d read one if I wrote it. Pairing: Captain Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings: none really! Canon typical injuries to other characters, alcohol consumption, plot WC: 1.6k A/N: I’m still so new at this!

If you’d been able to finish your level three diagnostic before the Layrians sent you to the past, you would have detected the fault and this wouldn’t have happened.

You only have a second to think that, though, because ‘this’ is a console exploding in Chief Engineer Louvier’s face, sending him, Ensign Devrin, a Tellarite newly transferred to the Enterprise, and Crewman Park flying.

“Engineering to sickbay! Medical Emergency!” You have your communicator in one hand, tricorder in the other, scanning. You want to check on Louvier, see if he’s okay, but there’s a fault in the EPS system and if you don’t get it locked down quickly, the warp core may blow. You look around to see who you have, and a lot of shocked eyes meet your gaze. You take charge.

“Harrison, see to Louvier and the others. Okorafor, vent the plasma manifolds. Mason, isolate the console from the rest of the system. Everyone else stand by.” You run through the checklists in your head.

“Engineering to Bridge, there’s a problem with the EPS system and we’re going to need to shut down the warp core immediately. Louvier is injured,” you add, explaining why you’re calling and not him.

“Yellow Alert. Helm, drop us out of warp. Keep us updated Lieutenant,” Number One’s voice is calm as you feel the ship’s vibrations change as you drop into normal space.

“Computer, emergency warp core shutdown. Authorisation Gamma Epsilon one-two-zero.”

“Unable to comply. Control circuits are offline.”

The console must have taken out the circuitry when it blew. No time to fix it – you need to do this manually.

You dash to the other central console, the one that’s still undamaged, and start entering commands.

“Michaels, if I can’t shut the core down we may need to eject it. Can you check those systems are running please?”

You really need someone to keep an eye on the impulse engine too, since if that overheats it can cause a lot of problems but you can’t eject it. You look around – a team of medics have arrived and are loading the injured onto stretchers, helped by a couple of engineering crewmen. You should be getting reinforcements soon now that the ship’s at yellow alert, but they aren’t here yet. You spy a gold uniform, standing out among the red and blue.

“Captain?” What’s he doing here?

“I was passing by when I heard the yellow alert. Number One told me the problem was here. Can I help?”

“Yes.” You point to a console. “Monitor the temperature of the impulse drive. If it gets above 400 Kelvin, increase the coolant. If it doesn’t come back down, let me know.”

“Aye, Lieutenant.”

You go back to your console, manually going through the power-down checklist. It’s stressful, especially when there are a few hiccups along the way with errors related to the damage that occurred, but you’re in your element here.

“Warp core offline,” you announce at last, as more staff arrive finally. Now you can get to fixing the actual problem.

“You have more than earned that drink,” Captain Pike says, as you walk down the corridor together some time later. The ship is back at warp, Louvier is in sickbay still recovering from plasma burns, but he, Devrin and Park will make a full recovery. Repairs are almost complete, and you would have stayed until they were done had Pike not gently remarked that you had mentioned you had a prior arrangement. You hadn’t mentioned it, of course, but no one else was to know. Pike had stayed in Engineering for the duration, fetching and carrying, checking readings and generally making himself useful. Having him around was good for crew morale, especially when you hadn’t known the prognosis for your colleagues. Your friends. Now the remainder of the work is in the capable hands of Lt Asher who came in a couple of hours early for gamma shift tonight.

“I need it,” you say, fervent. “This has been a day.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be able to drag you out of Engineering, but now that I have... would you like to get dinner? I think we could both use a decent meal.”

You suddenly realise you’re starving. “Thank you, Captain. I’d like that.” You smile at him, and he grins back, showing his dimples again.

“Call me Chris now we’re off duty,” he says as you reach the turbolift and he pauses to let you go first.

“Sure, Chris,” it comes out easier than it did on Earth in the past, somehow. Maybe you’re used to it.

The Captain’s dining room is spacious, and well appointed. It has a dining table and chairs, and sofa and low table with a vase of fresh flowers beneath a large window, showing the stars going by at warp. The lighting is soft, but a small spotlight highlights a model of the Enterprise on a shelf in the the corner. The overall effect is pleasing, but it seems a little impersonal, somehow. Except maybe the large earthenware pot on the shelf below the miniature ship. That doesn’t seem like the sort of thing a starship designer would put there.

“A traditional Navajo pot,” Chris says, following your gaze. “It’s from California, where I grew up. I don’t eat here often, but even here it’s good to have a reminder of home.”

He heads to the synthesiser. “Is chilli okay? It’s based on a family recipe. But I do keep tweaking it. It’s my go to comfort food, after a day like this.”

“That sounds really good,” you reply, letting him pull out a chair for you and watching as he brings nachos, sour cream, salsa, guacamole and two wine glasses from the synthesiser.

“It’s not beer, but it is real,” he says, opening a cupboard set beneath the synthesiser and withdrawing a bottle of red wine and a corkscrew hanging just inside the door.

He pours you each a glass. “Zinfandel, from California. Another taste of home. Cheers,” he says.

“Cheers,” you reply, clinking your glass and taking a sip. The flavour is bold and you taste berries, with maybe a hint of liquorice and vanilla. “This is good,” you add, taking another sip as he brings the food over.

“Given today, only the best will do,” he gives you a lopsided smile, blue eyes twinkling, and you can’t help but be charmed.

Conversation flows easily over the delicious meal – Pike’s chilli is good, and you tell him so. He tells you about growing up in the desert, and you chat about your former postings, swapping stories of engineering disasters. As the evening wears on you find yourself on the sofa, box of dark chocolate truffles on the table in front of you, with only a couple left. You yawn a little, and catch sight of the chronometer above the synthesiser – when did it get so late?

“Keeping you up past your bedtime?” Chris winks at you, and you grin back, totally at ease.

“You’ve got to admit, it’s been a long day. I can’t help thinking that if those aliens could’ve held off for a few minutes before pulling us through time, I could have finished my diagnostic, and the excitement in Engineering wouldn’t have happened,” you say as you stand.

“You were good, though,” he says, standing with you. “Not many days you can say you saved both the timeline and the ship.”

You feel yourself warming at the praise, and cover it by getting your jacket from where you’d shed it on the back of your chair earlier. Chris helps you put it on, lingering close.

“I believe it’s traditional at the end of the date to walk the lady home, but I’m guessing you can find your way,” he says with another little smile, voice a little deeper.

“Maybe that tradition wouldn’t be appropriate, but I can think of another that would work,” you say, and you feel your heart beating a little faster.

“Yeah?” He asks, his hands on your shoulders, and your eyes linger on his mouth before travelling up to his soft blue eyes.

“Yeah,” you say, and your voice comes out breathy but you don’t mind because he’s drawing you closer, one hand on your back, one hand moving along your jawline. He tilts his head and your hands come up to his chest, feeling the muscle there beneath his shirt. Your eyes flutter closed as his lips find yours and then the ship falls away and it’s just you, him, and the stars making warp trails around you. You gasp slightly and open your mouth, and his tongue brushes yours and you taste chocolate, red wine, and him. Your hands move round his neck as the kiss deepens, and you press against him.

Eventually you break apart, breathing heavily. There’s a slight look of surprise in his eyes, and you think it must be reflected in yours – you didn’t expect your good night kiss to be that intense.

“Well, good night, Chris. Thank you,” you say, fastening your jacket, trying to get a handle on your breathing.

“Dinner tomorrow?” He asks, eyes searching your face. “Maybe, uh... in my quarters?”

“Yes, I’d like that,” you say. “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he says, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your fingers, eyes full of promise. You pull your hand away reluctantly, smile, and leave before you can get tempted into anything more. Even though you’d like to you have alpha shift in the morning and he has a whole ship to run.

You wonder what tomorrow will be like. Maybe another unusual day would be a good thing.