#toys downtime au

[honiegoo]

fuh naff too

[storiesforallfandoms]

i need someone older ~ william afton;five nights at freddy's

word count: 3794

request?: no

description: after a bad breakup, she finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her much older boss

pairing: william afton x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (reader is mid 20s, afton is 50s), power imbalance technically (but it's fine), bit of an au (so he doesn't unalive anyone in this one)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I stormed into work, really pushing it for time. I had slept past my alarm and was incredibly reluctant to get out of bed. After the night I had, the last thing I wanted was to work eight hours in a children's restaurant, with screaming kids and the animatronics playing the same three songs all day. But I needed the money, and hopefully a distraction.

"Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" my coworker, Adam, asked.

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I gotta go change into my uniform. Can you punch me in so I'm not late?"

"Yeah. Be quick, though. Afton's here."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even know our names. He's not going to know I'm supposed to be on the clock."

I changed as quickly as I could while having limited space in a tiny bathroom stall. I stuffed my clothes into my backpack and did a quick double check in the mirror to make sure I was work appropriate. I wasn't paying enough attention as I stepped out of the bathroom and managed to literally run into someone who was walking past. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and came face to face with the fucking owner of Freddy Fazbear's.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"|'m so sorry, Mr. Afton," I said.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Where's the fire, though? You seem like you're in a hurry."

How do I answer this without getting in shit? "I'm just, uh...trying not to be late. I had to change, and bring my bag to my locker."

William looked down at his watch. I felt my heart starting to pound.

"Cutting it a little close there," he commented.

"I know."

My grip on my bag had tightened as I braced for the worst. I had never met William before. Despite owning the restaurant, he was rarely ever around. Whenever he was, he was usually tucked away in his office for most of the day and only ever spoke with our manager. Due to this, I didn't know if he would be a hard ass who was about to write me up for running late. After the events of the previous night, I didn't think I'd be able to take getting reprimanded today.

He took me by surprise when he smiled and said, "Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

I nodded, unable to form any words, and scurried around him to the lockers.

Adam looked at me when I finally returned to the floor. "What took you so long?"

"I ran into Afton," I responded.

His eyes widened. "Did he give you shit?"

"Luckily no. Just told me not to let it happen again."

"I warned you that he was here."

I flipped Adam off when I was sure none of the kids could see me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, my manager came to tell me that I was stationed on the prize counter for the day. The prize counter was probably the worst part of the restaurant. There was never any downtime at the counter. Either there was rowdy children hopped up on candy and pizza screaming about wanting toys they didn't have enough tickets for, or there were tired parents wanting to buy tokens for the arcade games while their rowdy kids were nearby screaming. Not to mention it was right next to the main stage, so the sound of screaming children was only matched by the sound of pre-recorded music coming from the animatronics' speakers. And to top it all off, the closing duties for the prize counter took longer than any other section of the restaurant.

It was the worst section to work, and I already wanted to leave just knowing that was my station for the day.

The only plus side was that being kept busy made the day fly by. But the usual craziness of Freddy Fazbear's was extra unbearable to a point where I felt myself on the edge of tears numerous times. I knew it was going to be a bad idea for me to be at work, and I was really regretting coming in.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last family finally left and the animatronics finally powered down. Adam laughed at me as I put my head down on the cool glass that held the prizes. "You're giving yourself more work to do."

I looked at the smudge I had left on the glass before glaring up at him. "I don't think my one smudge is making things any worse."

"Okay seriously, what is up with you? You've been grumpy all day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I had a bad night."

"Do you want me to help you close up so you can get out of here sooner?"

I gave him a look. "We both know you don't actually want that."

"But I'd do it to help you."

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. My annoyance and desire to leave will make me work faster."

Adam didn't fight me on it anymore. He said goodnight and clocked out. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I immediately got to work with cleaning. That was the easiest part as all I had to do was clean the glass of the prize case and pick up the discarded tickets from the floor. When I finished that, I started counting the cash in order to close it off. That was supposed to be another easy task, but my mind being anywhere but the task at hand made it so much harder.

Restocking the prizes was the hardest part. I had been on my own for nearly an hour, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted, so I was trying to rush out of there but found myself fumbling a little extra. I was trying to dump a box of tiny soldier toys into their respective bin when the box slipped from my hands and landed on its side, the toys scattering all over the floor.

It was my breaking point. Everything finally came crashing down around me and the flood gates finally opened. I lowered myself to the floor, sitting with my back against the counter. I buried my head into my hands and began to sob.

"Seems like a bit of a strong reaction to dropping some toys."

I jumped and looked towards where the voice had come from. I was sure I was the only one left in the restaurant, everyone else having left while I was doing my closing duties. Even my manager had left, giving me the keys and the code to the security system. But, turns out, I was wrong, because there was William Afton leaning over the counter to look down at me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "S-Sorry Mr. Afton. I-I didn't realize - "

"Hey, it's okay," he said, cutting me off and speaking in a soft voice. "What's going on? You seem stressed."

"It's...personal things. I shouldn't have let it interfere with my work."

"Fuck the professional shit for a second here. Forget I'm your boss, forget we're on the clock. If there's anything going on that you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

I leaned against the counter across from him. "It's stupid."

"You're crying, so I don't think it's that stupid."

I sighed. "My boyfriend broke up with me last night, after admitting he's been cheating on me for the last three months."

William whistled in response. "That's tough."

I nodded. "It just...came out of nowhere. We've been together for three years, moved in together last year. There was no signs that anything was wrong. I didn't even suspect that he was cheating. He came home last night and suddenly told me everything. Packed a bag and went to his...I guess...girlfriend's house. Told me he'd be back at some point this week to get his stuff."

Tears were stinging my eyes again. I looked away so William wouldn't see me cry anymore. Upon looking down, I realized my bare arms were on the glass of the prize counter, leaving smudges again. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab the cleaner again.

"Here, let me," William said, reaching for the cleaner. "You pick up the toy soldiers and I'll help restock the prizes once I finish this."

I was a little shocked, but definitely was not about to argue over getting help. We worked much quicker as a team and, finally, I was able to clock out to leave. I stood by as William set the security system and locked the gates.

"Thank you for helping me," I said.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It seemed you needed help, and I wasn't about to let one of my employees struggle while I was on the property." I smiled at him and started for my car. "For what it's worth - " I paused and turned back to him. " - your ex-boyfriend is a fucking idiot. You seem like a great woman. Don't beat yourself up over him."

He smiled and turned to walk towards his own car. I watched him go, surprised by what he said. Even through the cold night air, I could feel my face burning.

~~~~~~

William was around more after that. Not just in his office, but he was actually out on the floor. Everyone was noticing his increased presence, but I found myself noticing it in a different way. Whenever William was near, my eyes were practically glued to him. I found it difficult to concentrate whenever he was around. Luckily, everyone else was so distracted by his presence that they didn't notice how useless I had become.

It was wrong. I knew that. Having a crush on a coworker was bad enough, but a crush on your boss was a whole other level of bad. Especially when your boss is so much older. I had no idea whether or not he was even married or had kids for God's sake!

But every time I saw him, I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I wanted him in a way I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

During one of my shifts, I was put on the serving section. Serving was easy enough - take orders, bring food, check on tables. The hardest part was trying not to trip over a child running past while carrying a whole pizza on a hot tray. Most of us had learned the art of scanning the area before we walked, but sometimes you just don't notice quick enough and end up surprised by one of those little fuckers.

One of the cooks passed a pizza through the pass to me and told me the table number. I took the tray and balanced it against my shoulder, something I found was the easiest way to balance the bigger trays. The restaurant wasn't too busy, but there were still enough kids running around that I took in my surroundings before I started to walk. I was making a mental note about two kids who were stood by the stage, dancing to the song that Freddy was "singing", and didn't notice another kid who was racing from one of the playrooms in front of me. I stopped suddenly, just short of running into him, but found myself losing my balance after he ran past.

I felt two hands grab hold of my waist, holding me upright and saving me from a very embarrassing scene. When I turned to thank my savior, I came to face the blue eyes I had been trying to desperately to avoid today.

"That could've been a disaster," William said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter out. I could still feel the heat of his hands against my waist, like they were burning through the clothes and searing my skin. I almost forgot the heavy tray of pizza I was carrying in that moment.

When he let me go, his eyes still trained on me, I quickly turned and hurried to my table. I tried not to seem so flustered, but I knew I had failed. I stuttered through every sentence before finally dismissing myself to the prize counter where one of my other coworkers, Beth, was snickering to herself.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I responded.

"Oh, I'm asking. Are you all hot and bothered for Afton?!"

"Shh!" I snapped, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had heard. Not like anyone would over the usual noise of the restaurant.

"Oh, you so are!" she said. "Holy shit, (Y/N), you know that's bad news right? He's literally our boss."

"I know he is. I'm not stupid. But...I can't help it!"

"At least he would be more of a gentleman than that small dick asshole you call your ex." She looked over her shoulder as the front door to the pizzeria opened. When she looked back, her eyes were wide. "Speak of the devil."

I looked over to see none other than the small dick asshole himself, Josh, walking in. I wished I could disappear into the floor and never be seen again. I tried to turn and walk away before he spotted me, but no luck.

"(Y/N)!"

I groaned and turned back to him. "What do you want, Josh?"

"I was just over getting the last of my stuff - "

"Awesome, I do not care. If you've come to give me your key back, you could've just left it on the dining room table."

"No, I came to say that I couldn't find my Springsteen album."

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "So you came all this way to...what? Ask me what I did with it? I have no idea, Josh, I threw everything that was yours into boxes and garbage bags. If it's not in there, you might've left it in your car or at your new girlfriend's house."

"It's not any of those places." I wasn't sure if I should've been hurt about the fact that he wasn't addressing my last comment directly, but I definitely was a little bit.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I wanted to see when you were going to be off work and maybe I could come by to look for it with you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Josh, I don't know what the fuck happened to your album, but you're sure as hell not coming over to the house. That is not your place anymore, and you're very much not welcome there."

"Why can't we be adults about this?"

"You lost the right to being adult about this the second you decided to cheat on me! And how dare you say that shit, but then come down to my place of work to try and, what, harass me into letting you back into my home? We're over, Josh. I don't ever want to see you again. If I find any of your shit left at the house, I'll drop it in the trash."

"What seems to be the problem here?"

I suppressed the urge to groan again. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

"No problem, Mr. Afton," I said, turning to face William with the best, innocent smile I could muster. "Just an...unwelcome guest."

William looked at me for a moment before letting his eyes wander to Josh. I didn't have to say much else for him to recognize who the "unwelcome guest" was and I could see anger in his eyes.

"Well, time to get back to work, (Y/N)," he said to me. "Your customers are waiting."

I nodded and ducked away from the situation. As I walked away, Josh called after me, "That's fine, I'll be waiting for you to get off! We can talk more then!"

"Like hell you will."

A collective gasp from the parents and Beth cause me to spin around to see William had grabbed hold of the collar of Josh's shirt. William was easily a head taller than Josh, so even if the act wasn't meant to be intimidating, he definitely looked intimidating. I don't think I've ever seen such fear on Josh's face. William turned Josh around and basically dragged him towards the front door.

"If I see you back here, I will have your ass arrested," he said as he threw Josh out of the restaurant. "Are we clear, punk?"

He didn't wait for a response as he pulled the door shut. I could see Josh standing there, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. William re-entered the main area, still looking angry, but tried to put on his best customer service smile as he addressed his new crowd. "Sorry everyone. Just an unruly customer. Sorry for any trouble."

To me he added, "Come see me in my office, please."

Beth and I exchanged a look before I followed William towards his office. I was so sure he was going to get upset with me. Not only had I brought my personal shit to the restaurant (even though that wasn't my fault), but it had also resulted in a not so great scene in front of the customers. People get to talking, and I was sure that this story was going to be spread through town before the night was out.

The moment I stepped into his office, I set in on the apologies. "Mr. Afton, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming. I've been trying to avoid him while he's moving his stuff out and I guess he was getting tired of that or wanted to poke me one last time or something - "

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused my rambling to look up at him. All anger was gone from his face and had instead been replaced by concern.

"What?" I asked.

"Did he do anything to you just then?"

I shrugged. "Not physically. He was definitely still trying to mess with me mentally, though."

William nodded. "Well, he's not welcome on the property anymore. If you see him, you have my full permission to contact the police immediately."

"I...I don't think that's entirely necessary."

"I don't mean to sound like an old man or anything, but I've met plenty of assholes like your ex, (Y/N). You give them an inch and they take a mile. If you don't deal with this now, he will continue to come back and harass you. I don't want that for you. You don't deserve that."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I was realizing how close we were now. We were mere inches away from one another. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and touch him right now; grab him. I could've kissed him right then and there if I really wanted to. Who would've known?

As if reading my mind, William suddenly reached out and cupped my face. Before I could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was kind of ironic, the fact that I had just been thinking about doing this exact thing, but now that it was happening it was like my brain wasn't sure how to comprehend the situation.

William pulled away just as quickly as he had initiated the kiss. He backed away from me, suddenly worried. "I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that."

In response, I pretty well threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with such force that it pushed him back into his desk. He positioned himself so that he was sat on his desk and basically pulled me into his lap. It was risky, anyone could've come by and caught us, but something about that just made the experience so much better; so much hotter.

William pulled away first again. I tried to chase his lips with mine, but he pushed me back, chuckling at my eagerness.

"Hold on," he said. "There's some things we have to discuss before this goes any further."

"Please don't tell me you're married," I said.

He laughed. "No, I'm not married. Divorced with a 10 year old daughter. That was the first thing I wanted to discuss, in case single dad is a dealbreaker."

"Very much not a dealbreaker."

"So...the age thing is also not a dealbreaker then?"

I shook my head. "If anything, I think that makes it kinda hotter."

A grin spread on his face. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But there is the big issue of the fact that I'm your boss."

It felt like I had been shoved off of cloud nine and come crashing down to earth. For a moment, I had forgotten that part. He was right, that was the biggest issue here. Kind of hard to get around it unless I ended up quitting, which I really did not want to do. It was nearly impossible to find a good paying job these days, and I needed this now more than ever since Josh wasn't going to be splitting rent with me anymore.

I climbed off of William's lap and stood across from him. "I guess...that is a big issue, huh?"

"I just don't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I don't want anyone to look at you any different because you're dating the boss."

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "You jumped to dating pretty quickly there."

His smile was a little more bashful. "What can I say? I'm old school. I don't believe in hooking up or anything like that. If there's anything going on here, I want you to be able to classify it as a relationship."

In that moment, I found myself wondering why I hadn't always dated older men. I had wasted so much of my time on guys my age when I could've been dating someone who was actually a gentleman and cared about me and my feelings.

"Why don't we see where things go with this, and then we can tackle that big elephant in the room?" I asked.

"I think I can agree to that."

I took a step closer and said, "I really want to kiss you again, though."

He laughed and met me halfway, standing from his desk and taking my face in his hands again. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying right back on to cloud nine.

[seraphdreams]

something something neighbor yuuta au once again but this time you’re like a sex toy product tester on the side for this company that’s famous for making sex toys specifically for overstimulation and cunt milking </3 you get paid well and it all happens in your downtime, plus they send you the final product of all the sex toys you try out so you get free orgasms basically!!! this side job is a godsend to the tedious and droning office work you do during the daytime, so you’re not complaining.

anyways. something something something yuuta is over one night to eat dinner with you and for drinks something he stumbles into your room then stumbles upon your sex toy collection under your bed or something, being the lucky freak that he is. something something something yadda yadda yadda he gets tormented by visions of you using them and squirting yourself stupid and soaking your whole damn bedsheets nightly….. like his dick aches every day because he’s milking himself to the thought of how you get off on all them.

sorry to say that boy wants to strap your clit suction toy to you while he fucks you so you can milk his dick or something.

dior…. is this a safe space? am i able to talk about how good it feels… the raw sensation of your clit barely able to have a break, n yuuta’s fat fucking cock all lodged into your insides….? it’s too tight, you keep pushing him out but it’s a whole other story when he’s getting closer, getting off on the vibrations of your toy on your little clit, getting off from the labored pants n whines you make, getting off on how it feels like his dick is going to snap in half — he needs to be on the same level that you’re on, that planet of euphoria. so he’ll keep fucking himself stupid beyond the point of not being able to cum anymore ,, he just doesn’t know when to stop, he can’t !!

[thesexydancingcrepe]

More Childhood!au

#1+2 Child!Crepe was known for a lot of creepy staring (my favorite toys was a doll named 'Malisa' and a hammer) 🔨 🎀

#3 Child!Wukong learns to play a Gameboy and Child!Crepe likes feeling his fur while challenging clouds ⛅️

#4+5 Kissing is weird (they're playing house or something) 💏

Basically, in between being menaces to society, Child!Crepe's and Child!Wukong's downtime. 😴 💤 😪

[phantasm-echo]

dmw(s) AU QnA :)

(Full qna can be found in the dmw(s) qna tag below)

Q: Plz infodump everything

A: In addition to everything l've already answered: here are some ideas

1. Echo repeatedly bites Fives, though after the first time it's always meant to be friendly even though because Echo has really sharp teeth Fives ends up almost bleeding out on multiple occasions.

2. When Fives and Echo are learning to Live again on Kamino, Fives is able to let go of some of the dark side of the Force because he thinks going Light will help heal Echo. On multiple occasions he tries to purify the Kyber crystals in his lightsaber but just CAN'T, like no matter what he does they always stay red, and Fives is incapable of leaving the Dark because of all the things he was forced to do by Palpatine.

3. While still High On Instincts Echo (when not threatened) just acts like a Sea puppy and is cute.

4. Omega visited Echo in his tank once but was forbidden from coming back by Nala se.

5. While he was experimented on by Kaminoans, one of the main droids taking care of Echo during downtime was AZI. After the destruction of Kamino, Echo scavenges what was left of AZI and carries the droid around like a toy. Fives recognises AZI and they bond more trying to fix the droid.

6. Fives is constantly sad even though he tries not to be bc on a certain level he blames himself for not escaping Palpatine earlier and saving echo from the torture that made him lose his mind.

7. Echo Knows that Fives gets sad but doesn't know why because he's in fishbrain mode, so as comfort Echo kinda flops all over him and they sit together cuddling watching the sunset because I need comfort to go with hurt.

8. Rex blames himself for everything no matter what, he believes that he is cursed and is the reason all the people closest to him suffer so much.

9. When Rex shows up on kamino, they contact Ahsoka who is able to help them research some type of Sith ritual that would allow echo to morph his tail into legs, but the first time they try it it doesn't work be Echo is still fishbrain and doesn't know what's going on

[laura1633]

Maybe an Animal Hybrids AU? ❤️💙🧐

Thank you ♥️ This one turned out as a cute one.

Fifth Random Lestappen AU summary: Animal Hybrid

It’s only an estimated one in a million that are born as animal hybrids. Max curses his luck every day that he had to be one of them. The Dutch driver can shape shift between his human form and that of a kitten except his skills are not refined and when he’s under immense pressure he sometimes shifts against his will. When Charles comes flying into his drivers room to argue about an incident on lap 3 Max panics and gets overwhelmed and before he knows it he is a tiny little kitten looking up at the Monegasque. 

Except to Max’s surprise rather than laugh Charles also suddenly shifts into his kitten form. Max immediately starts purring as Charles starts nuzzling against him. The Dutch driver never believed he would ever find another person who could shift let alone find one on the grid. Luckily for Max, Charles also knows a lot more about controlling shifts and starts to teach him how to do it in a healthy way. The two spend downtime shifting into their kitten forms and snuggling and purring together as well as playing with toys and chasing each other around Charles’ apartment. Soon the bond they form as kittens also feeds into their human forms and as well as giving each other little nose rubs and kitten licks in their animal form they also starts getting intimate in their human form. 

[sorcerous-caress]

🍃Zooted thinking about human tav or just human kink stuff(dancer au ?? Or 💝bimbo tav have fun with that)) but an s/o that's heavy pierced: nose ring(s), so many ear rings(industrial, light gemstones/studs, precious metals), maybe a tongue piercing 👅, pretty nipple rings with gems matching with their crushes eye color or birth month🥰😈(maybe a dom that rewards the smart ones who figure it out), a variation of clit/cock rings or bars

Karlach obv has all this 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Certain druids (I think if my. 5e if correct)don't tend to like metal in their bodies, or how aghast high elves/certain sylvan groups be at metal or how just the number of ways they've "decorated their body" (if you insist on having these holes then they will carve you hard woods/gemstones/bone or tusk[barbarian/orc/dragon😳]

Dwarfs/gnomes/drow amused at the placement or color/metal type you've chosen- don't worry they have the prefect recommendations. Minthara/Nere/enver/dammon their house colors or metals that they work/fight with!!!

Any companion that has access to magic would alter cantrips for temperature play

Bimbo tav/hum leader has only one stimulating piercing "as a dare when I was younger!! I just kept it bc it looks nice :)" (nipple,gential,ear?👀) in downtime shadowheart, astarion, gale, karlach would be fiends always wanting to idly play with it once they find out you have it

-💌🦇 love ur work!!! Have these fun ideas I can't stop thinking about

Imagine a completely pierced human who meets a group of dwarves and gnomes in a tavern and they're completely enamoured with you.

Clear curiosity in their eyes, gaze trailing from each of your piercings to another. Wondering if you have more under your clothes but never asking because they don't wanna scare off the cute human.

But of them eventually gets the courage and hints at it.

With a smile you completely remove your shirt amidst the whole tavern, showing them all the extra hidden piercings. They almost choke on their drinks.

And they're just so curious about the metals and gems decorating you, they can't help their wandering hands. They need to get closer to observe it, you see, it's in their nature.

Fuck nothing will turn a dwarf on more than you having a piercing with their birthstone. The mere idea probably makes their brain short-circuits.

-

And yeah about elves clutching their pearls at the idea of you poking any sort of hole in your body. Imagine a group of high elves taking it as their duty to lecture the heavily pierced human on the street about how what they're doing is disrespectful to their body.

So you do what any normal human would do, and tell them if they think that's disrespectful, then what would they think of your nipples piercing or the one between your legs.

They're completely stunned. Stuttering and red in the face, but don't refuse your offer to come back home with you and look at them first hand. Maybe you even convince a couple of them to get a secret matching piercing with you.

-

The idea of the companions just idling and fidgeting with Tav's piercings is too good.

First it starts with small stuff like earnings, nose ring, etc.

Then it's lip piercings and belly piercings.

Their hands keep getting lower and lower until it becomes the norm for them to just move your clothes to the side and toy with you.

Pulling and twirling your nipple piercings between their fingers while they think. Your moans fading in to the background as they pull harsher the more lost in thought they get.

Playing with you as if you were a toy, making you only wear the most revealing of clothes and shortest of skirts so their hand may reach between your legs easily. A cute little ring on your clit that they rub and turn, a rod piercing on your cock that they push back and forth.

Getting you wet and leaking all over the place, continuously edging you for hours just because they got bored and you happened to be walking by. Their beloved leader will always be the perfect distraction afterall.

[twstjam]

The steady hands on a twisting road (One-shot)

Characters: Malleus Draconia & Yuu

Ship(s): Platonic Malleyuu with a hint of a crush on Malleus's end

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: In which Yuu, the stranger from another world is the consort of Malleus Draconia, the lonely king of Briar Valley. From getting thrown into a world of magic with seemingly never-ending problems to getting married to a fae, Yuu's life has been very eventful to say the least. It's a lot to get used to, but at least they're not alone.

Or: AU where everybody are adults, there are still problems, and Yuu is still from another world. Oh, also, they're (platonically) married to Malleus. Did I mention that?

Masterlist

AO3 Link

a/n: I have zero attachment to this fic and au and zero plans to continue it, but I thought I'd transfer it here anyways because it's a twst fic. Also, it's a sort of Early Concept for my other fics (mainly Break in the Clouds and Death of Me) while I was still trying to brainstorm good ideas so just ignoring it would kind of be a disservice, at least in my opinion.

Yuu stirs from their nap groggily, lifting away the open book that they'd dropped on their face when they nodded off.

Turning towards the window, they notice that it's still very bright outside. They must not have been napping very long at all if that was the case. They close their eyes and try to fall asleep again, but the discomfort of the book on their face that had woken them up still lingers and they groan in frustration.

After days of non-stop problem-solving and near death experiences, Yuu had naturally thought that they would enjoy a day off. But of course, as their luck would have it, the constant excitement had skewed their sense of entertainment somewhat and they found themself awfully, terribly, bored .

They turn their head towards the grey pile of fur on the bed. Grim remains sleeping soundly, curled up with his pronged tail around him and the flames of his ears waving lazily.

"Lucky," Yuu mumbles. Even monster cats have it easy. All they need to be satisfied are food, pets, toys, and sleep, which comes easily, especially to a lazy glutton like Grim. Any toy would suffice too as long as it moved. He could bat around a ball of rolled up paper for hours.

One would think that being a king's consort would be all sunshine and rainbows—and it was and that was the problem. When you have downtime, you have nothing interesting to do because everything is already being taken care of, especially if the castle staff were too frightful or respectful of the king to go against his orders of letting his consort participate in any work.

Yuu really appreciates Hornton, but man was he too cautious sometimes. Hopefully one day he'll realise humans aren't as fragile as he thinks and they hope that day comes soon.

They're. So. Bored.

Saying it again and again doesn't make them any less bored, but a part of them had hoped it would miraculously summon another crisis they'd have to fix, like maybe Leona was being framed for regicide again, or Ace and Deuce were about to commit regicide again, or maybe Epel finally snapped and swapped out Vil's hair products. Yuu didn't care what it was, they just needed something to do .

With grace that was the least fitting for the royal title that they legally own, Yuu rolls off the bed and plants their feet on the floor. They lace up their boots and quietly leave the room as to not wake Grim. Lying around being miserable obviously isn't going to help, so maybe a walk would.

The Gothic style of the Castle of Thorns was one that they were still getting used to. They'd only married Malleus recently after all, and then one problem after another kept popping up in the other kingdoms to the point that they barely spent time in the valley, let alone the castle that was supposed to be their home. Both that and the unfamiliarity of the fae architecture didn't help in making Yuu feel at home here. They still feel like they're walking around at some sort of historical site or someone else's house.

It's to be expected, they suppose. They are from another world. Getting thrown into another dimension and then marrying their friend who happened to be the fae king on a whim would reasonably take some adjusting to, though the latter circumstance was more voluntary than the former.

The green flames flickering in the hallways of dark stone emanates a sort of calm yet haunting atmosphere. Not for the first time Yuu wonders if they can redecorate the place since this is technically their house. They'd asked Lilia and he'd seemed to like the idea, but they'd have to ask Malleus too since he was the king.

Yuu had wanted to ask him first, and they would've done that long ago if they could've. They really think their friend wouldn't mind a few changes to the castle but they always forget to bring up the topic when they see him, which was rare since he was always so busy with his royal duties as king and Yuu themself frequently got caught up in solving other people's problems.

Yuu heaves a sigh, shaking their head. If you'd told them a year ago they'd be isekai'd to a fairytale land, become a beast tamer in-training, have hundreds of run-ins with death and also married to a fae king with a hyperfixation on abandoned houses and vanishing acts, Yuu would've wondered how they'd remain sane. They're still wondering about that.

While lost in their thoughts, Yuu's aimless wandering had led them outside and the sunlight shone pleasantly on their skin. They sigh, content, and follow the stone path into the garden.

Their feet lead them to a sectioned-off part of the garden that they recognise more vividly than the rest. When they'd first arrived at the Castle of Thorns, the first thing Malleus had done was show them his personal rose garden. He'd told them that he'd grown the roses himself from seeds that his grandmother had sent him every year on his birthday. Based on how many flowers there were, Yuu had made a joking comment about his age. Hornton had only laughed and smiled at them in a playfully challenging way. They still don't know how old he is.

The rose garden was more identifiable to them compared to the rest of the castle's garden because of the memory. It felt like a very significant place. They weren't like the heart-shaped bushes of red roses they'd seen in the Queendom of Roses and were instead much more colourful. Standing among the flowers, they try to imagine a plain area of dirt and a little horned boy digging and planting seeds, caring for the flowers every day and adding more until they grew and grew into this garden.

Yuu grinned to themself. Despite Malleus's intimidating aura and composed image, their friend was so endearing and passionate. It was hard to believe how anyone could be afraid of him.

Their luck must be turning up and their "summoning" thoughts finally working their magic again because they look up and see the tell-tale sign of horns peeking out of the top of the rose bushes.

Yuu navigates their way towards them until Malleus's towering figure finally comes into sight.

"Hey, Hornton," they greet. The King of Thorns looks up with slightly wide eyes before a smile eases over his face.

"Yuu. Good afternoon, my dear friend," Malleus replies. "How are you?"

Yuu hums as they approach him, their eyes drawn to the rose he was gently cradling in one gloved palm.

"I'm doing alright," Yuu says with a slight shrug. "I'm just feeling a little bored."

"Bored?" Malleus's eyebrows raise slightly. "I apologise. I suppose there is not much to do in the castle for a consort when they have no duties."

"It's alright. I wanted to relax, but I guess I got used to being active so sitting still made me feel restless."

"Hmm," Malleus hums thoughtfully. "If you would like, I could arrange for some entertainment for you."

Entertainment? They're guessing that means stuff like jesters and musicians and performances and stuff like that. They're intrigued, but the thought of sitting in a throne and watching fae do tricks or whatever for them made Yuu's skin crawl with embarrassment and discomfort.

"Um, no thank you. Maybe something else?" They then squint up at him suspiciously. "Don't you have duties, your majesty?"

Malleus looks away from their accusing gaze with a guilty smile.

"I do, but I am taking a... short reprieve, so to speak."

Right. He absolutely ditched his guards again. Yuu can imagine that Sebek is currently screaming his head off for the king and making the castle staff go deaf while Silver is probably slumped in some fountain somewhere while birds braided his hair or something.

Yuu laughs. Their eyes close as they do, so they don't see the fond smile on Malleus's face as he looks down at them.

"As your consort, I should probably tell you to go back to work," Yuu says with a cheeky grin. "But as your friend, I think you deserve a bit of a break yourself. I don't have anything to do. Tell me more about the roses."

At their invitation to divulge a topic he was fond of, Malleus beams, his green eyes gleaming. He immediately launches into a lengthy explanation about roses and rose care, some of which he had already told them about, but Yuu is still keen to listen to every word.

His guardsmen eventually appear, evident by the sound of Sebek's ear-splitting yells. Although Malleus looks reluctant, he decides that he'd delayed doing his duties long enough and ends their conversation.

"Thank you for sparing your time for me, child of man. It has been a pleasure," he says with a slight bow.

"Thank you too, Hornton. The pleasure has been all mine." Yuu returns the bow with a smile on their face.

They were still amused by the fact that Malleus had run off from his guards again so they were feeling a bit playful. They take one of his gloved hands, lifts it to their lips and kisses his knuckles.

When they look up, Malleus has a stunned expression on his face. Yuu could be imagining it, but are his cheeks a bit red?

"King Malleus!"

The sharp sound of Sebek's voice seems to snap him out of whatever distracted state he was in and Malleus takes back his hand. He gives Yuu another polite bow as if he'd forgotten he'd already done it before turning around and making his way out of the rose garden.

Yuu chuckles to themself. They really don't see much of Malleus lately, but they always enjoy it whenever they could squeeze in some time with their friend.

Even with all the trouble they got into and all the deadly close calls, Yuu found that they couldn't quite complain since they got to have peaceful moments like this with Malleus, even if they were brief. Meeting him was an accident like everything else that has happened to them in this world, but marrying him had been a voluntary decision and though it wasn't a life they were used to quite yet, they don't regret their choice in the slightest.

Smiling to themself, Yuu gently brushes a hand over some of Malleus's beloved roses as they walk the path out of the rose garden and towards the rest of the castle grounds. There was still a lot of familiarising to do and they can't do it by sitting around in one place.

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished pt 23

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]

[Part 23/?? Word Count: 1857]

[CW: Drug abuse, addiction, gaslighting]

—————

Two weeks later, Blitzo sent another letter. It was thinner than the first. Barb gave it the same treatment, ‘RETURN TO SENDER’. The next one was even thinner, probably just one page in the envelope.

After she had that one sent back, he started sending postcards. Mostly they were generic landscape images from across the Rings. But not being in an envelope meant she saw snippets of the text on the blank side. Barb let Fizz know that Blitzo was sending mail, but never the content.

She didn’t mean to read any of them, but checking the address meant seeing what was written. There was a theme of ‘sorry, please talk to me, let me explain, I’m sorry, text, call, so sorry,’ in his scribbled handwriting. Knowing their dad’s account of events, her brother’s repeated requests for forgiveness just infuriated Barb.

She saw there were a few that mentioned her and their mom. Blitzo was asking if Fizz knew where they were. You’d know if you’d stuck around, traitor, she thought bitterly as she sent the postcards to be shredded. 

The frequent reminders of Blitzo’s existence kept her off balance. And Fizzarolli was spending more time in Lust. He kept denying any emotional attachment to Asmodeus but Barb saw the difference in how he talked about the Sin.  His absence left her somewhat at loose ends in her downtime.

The other survivors from their circus had scattered; few wanted to stay in Greed with all the established gangs and corruption. Barb, not wanting to be alone constantly, found other demons that shared her interests. One of those interests being drug use was incidental. 

After seven months, the postcards arrived less frequently. Barb didn’t really notice; she had access to stronger stuff and was getting fucked up on a regular basis. Fizz was paying her enough that she could afford it… for now. But as the next pageant got closer, she started missing more days.

At first it didn’t matter too much. Her friend was off being Ozzie’s boy toy. The PR team was finally filtering the mail somewhat. And just before the pageant, Blitzo sent a card saying, ‘I’ll leave you alone Fizz. You know where to find me. I’m sorry.’ That was one less stressor; Barb celebrated with a weekend long bender.

She managed to be clean for a few days before and after the clown pageant. She was able to function as Fizz’s security the whole time. Once again, he won. Once again, Mammon immediately signed him on with a year long contract.

This year though, the king of Greed had some things to talk about concerning Fizzarolli’s assistant. Whisking him behind closed doors for the rigamarole of the contract was the perfect moment to plant seeds of doubt about Barb in his mind.

“Y’know Fizzy, that assistant o’ yours…I know she’s your friend but she’s been slacking big time,” he said as they signed and initialed pages. “I’d hate for someone from your past to take advantage of you, yah?” Mammon had a look of intense concern as he finished his portion of the contract.

“I-I’ll talk to her, Mammon sir.” Fizz was already worried about Barb. He knew she’d gotten hooked on painkillers after the fire. She’d been sober for years but he could see the signs popping up. And if Mammon noticed, things were getting worse.

“Good boy Fizzy! ‘Cause we’re gonna be real busy again and we don’t need c**ts coasting off your success.”

The day after the pageant saw Fizz in Lust again, working with Ozzie on updating the Fizzies. Asmodeus took him out for lunch again. He’d told Mammon before the contest that he’d need the whole day with the winner for their work, preventing his fellow Sin from interrupting anything.

After lunch, Ozzie sprung an offer on Fizz. “I’d like you to work at my lounge club, Froggie. Get you some experience outside the Greed Ring and away from all those creeps.”

Fizz waved a dismissive hand. “Psh, I’ve always had creeps around, it’s not that big a deal. Besides, Barb’s got my back.”

“Yeeeeeeaaaah, about that,” Asmodeus said slowly.

“Oh not you too Oz! Mammon was just bitching to me last night about her!”

“Hey, I’m just saying…she’s having a bad time lately. I’m not gonna pry, but if even Mam has picked up on it? Your girl needs help.” Ozzie cupped Fizz’s cheek. “Look, I know she’s important to you. You’re basically family right?” Fizz nodded. “So I want to help. And moving you both out of Greed is a good way to start.”

Fizz sighed. “Yeah, she’s never really liked it there anyway. I can’t make her do anything though.”

“You know me babe; I ain’t about forcing anyone. Unless she’s in deep shit, too deep to handle or putting herself in danger? you gotta let her make her choices.” He leaned back in their private booth. “I’m serious about working at my lounge though. You’d make a great M.C. Fizzy-frog.”

Fizz agreed to perform at Ozzie’s, with the frequent scheduling starting in a few weeks. He had prior commitments with Mammon to take care of first. Doing nightly shows at the lounge would mean moving to Lust.

Before that, he wanted to talk with Barb. The first chance he got was almost a week later, after they were done at Mammon’s for the day. Fizz had to steal himself to talk to his friend so he went to her apartment after hyping himself up via a phone call with Asmodeus.

Barb, meanwhile, had taken a hit of her current drug of choice as soon as she got home. It was the first big high she’d had in the past two weeks. When Fizz showed up at her door unannounced, she could feel the drugs hitting her system. Although he looked serious and she was trying to focus on what he said, the chemical filter in her veins meant she really only caught a few words. Kind of like those snippets of Blitzo’s postcards.

“Barb, I know you’ve got a problem. You’ve been using drugs again, I can tell. We need to get you help, but we can’t do it here. Asmodeus offered me a gig, I’ll need to move to Lust. Please, come with me. I can’t stand seeing you destroy yourself. We’ll get away from all this shit in Greed. Get you some fucking help.”

Barb tried to string together what he was saying. What truly stuck with her was he was moving. Leaving for Lust and Asmodeus. Away from her. She growled angrily. “Urrrgh! Fine, go fuck off with your royal sugar daddy! I don’t need you!” She pushed him away from her. Her intoxication meant she didn’t have much control of her strength. Her push knocked him against the wall; if he hadn’t hit it with his prosthetic arm, it would have left bruises.

She stomped to the door and yanked it open. “Get the fuck out Fizz. The other imp looked stricken so she pushed him again. This one sent him into the hallway. Barb slammed the door shut, locked it and  put the chain on. He had a spare key, but even his extendable arms would struggle with the chain. She pressed her back against the door and slid down it as Fizz knocked desperately. He kept saying her name but she didn’t respond. She just curled up, silent and crying.

Eventually, he was gone. Her sense of time was completely distorted. Maybe it had been an hour, maybe just a couple minutes. She just wanted to forget about everything again. Fortunately, past Barb had picked up a baggie full of little friends from her dealer that were very good at helping her forget.

A few days later, she’d come down enough to realize she had to go work. That many pill-shaped friends weren’t cheap. But when she got to Mammon’s main offices, her keycard didn’t work. Barb tried multiple times, flipping the card in different directions but she continued to get error sounds. She was ready to punch the scanner when the door opened smoothly.

The shark demon that stepped out towered over Barb. “What do you want?” No politeness, just blunt demanding attitude.

“I want to get to work. Why isn’t my keycard working?” She waved the offending piece of plastic in front of the shark’s snout.

His concentric ringed eyes focused on the card, reading her name. “Barb Buckzo. Yeah, your position’s been…terminated.” He gave her a leering grin and flicked the card. His claw hit with enough force to send it spinning out of her hand and down the street.

“The fuck d’you mean, ‘terminated’? I’m Fizz’s  assistant and bodyguard!”

“Not no more. You haven’t been here for a week. Mr. Fizzarolii and Lord Mammon don’t need some lazy ass coasting on her buddy’s success.” He straightened up to his full height. The shark crossed his arms and continued to match her glaring look. “So you’re out, shoulda got a termination letter in yer mail.” 

Her jaw dropped. Those assholes! “I wanna talk to Fizz. Right now!” She tried to push past the beefy shark, but he outweighed her and Fizz combined. 

“Mr. Fizzarolli is busy. Lord Mammon is free for the next ten minutes if you wanna talk to him.” Barb growled, a rumbling hiss coming from her chest. “Thought so.” The shark went back inside and the door slid shut behind him.

Barb stood there, chest heaving. She had mostly come down from her high and there was no drugged filter between her and her emotions. After a few minutes of glaring at the locked doors, she started hurling nearby rocks at the building. Her aim was still good from all those years in the circus. But those doors were designed to withstand bullets; a valid concern with all the turf wars likely to pop up in this Ring.

All the rocks in Hell wouldn’t do much to the structure. Barb didn’t care; if anything it made her madder. She kept hurling the same rocks over and over, screaming obscenities all the while. Until she threw one that ricocheted back, hitting her directly on her circus brand and knocking her on her butt.

She sat there, dazed. The pain on her forehead belatedly hit and she rubbed the spot to find ichor welling from the scratch. “Fine. FINE, YOU HEAR ME! YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES! HAVE FUN BEING A PAMPERED WHORE FIZZ! YOU’RE JUST LIKE THAT TRAITOR BLITZO!” Barb turned away, rubbing her upper arms with both hands as she tried to keep the anger in the forefront. She flipped of the building as she walked home.

Not that the studio apartment would be home much longer. She was behind on rent and her landlord was ready to kick her out. Checking her mail, she found the termination letter; included was her severance check. Not enough to back pay everything. But enough to find somewhere else. Something cheaper and closer to the drug dens she was visiting more often. 

Within two days, she was gone, ghosting everyone in her life.

—————

<<First <Prev Next>

[batneko]

Another twitter thread, crossposted here. This one is probably my Magnum Opus. Originated from ideas here and here.

-

OKAY, MUMAROU WALL-E AU, LET'S GO.

The humans have been gone for centuries. Maybe millennia, Mumen's internal clocks go down when the dust storms get too bad, and those used to go on for weeks at a time. The factories stopped production nearly as long ago.

But that's okay, they'll be back, and Mumen never expected to be rewarded or anything. He's fulfilling his purpose, doing what he was made for. It's satisfying in and of itself. It's… a little lonely, sometimes. Mumenbots were designed to be multipurpose helpers, very durable.

Their parts are interchangeable and their batteries almost eternally rechargeable. But when the automated factories shut down there was no more supply of replacement parts. Mumen and his fellows agreed that it was okay to take parts from others that had permanently shut down.

So he's survived like that for all these years. Working. Scavenging. Replacing what breaks. And one by one the others shut down for good. He tried, at first, to repair them, but… It's okay. Only a little lonely.

He fills the time by finding interesting human things.

Movies, music, toys. In his downtime he repairs bicycles, because there's so many different kinds of such a seemingly simple design. Kind of like mumenbots! He likes music a LOT. He's made thousands of playlists of different types, and it's fun to sing along as he works.

And then one day, for the first time in a LONG time, something different happens. A streak of light across the sky, and Mumen knows instantly that it's a ship. He uncouples his trailer from his bike and follows the light without a second thought.

It goes pretty far. Farther, in fact, than Mumen has ever traveled from his sector. He'd left it before, looking for other mumenbots, but he never detected anybody in range of his wireless signal. The ship sets down in what used to be a harbor, and Mumen hangs back.

He's never been nervous before. What will come out? A human? He's not sure what to SAY to a human. It's been so long, will they still look like they do in videos? It's not a human. It's a robot. This is sort of a relief, but it's still like nothing he's ever seen before.

Sleek and white and smooth, head shaped like a pointy heart with a digital screen for a face. Having a face at all means it must be designed to communicate with humans, so Mumen figures they'll be able to talk even if their software isn't compatible.

As soon as Mumen steps out into view, the sleek robot points a gun at him, and he ducks out of the way just in time to NOT get blasted into slag. Okay. Not the best first impression. Mumen digs through the junk he happened to be carrying with him and finds a few things -

A piece of cloth that's mostly white, and part of a fishing pole. He ties the cloth on the pole and waves it above his hiding place. A second later the makeshift white flag is also blasted. The beam is so hot the cloth disintegrates, not even ash left. So that's a no.

Mumen is… maybe more lonely than he'd been admitting to himself, because despite the FIRM rejection, he follows the sleek robot as it leaves its ship. It doesn't seem to be doing anything? Just… floating (that's new!) around aimlessly. Occasionally it scans a patch of dirt.

After several hours, long after Mumen would normally have returned to his pod for the night, the robot turns and aims its weapon at where Mumen thought he was concealed. "State your purpose," it says in a voice probably programmed to be intimidating. "Uh, cleaning?" Mumen says.

"Repeat?" the robot says, sounding confused. "Cleaning, I was ordered to clean, so…" The robot blinks eyes which are technically just lights on a screen. "Clarify?" Mumen realizes he's dealing with a VERY young bot. "Mumenbot, multipurpose assistance, designation MU-003."

"Gallow 6," the sleek robot says. "Why are you… here?" "What do you mean?" "If your directive is to clean, why are you following me?" Mumen doesn't have a good answer. "Do you want to be friends, Garou?" The sleek robot looks around. "Me?"

"Yes, do you want to be friends?" "Gallow. It's Gallow." "Garou?" "Gallow." "Ga… rou?" "It's… nevermind, who cares." Garou turns around and continues his scanning, and Mumen follows.

This goes on for another day. Sometimes Mumen will try to make conversation, and Garou will give one or two-word answers before ignoring him again. Luckily they happened to head in the direction of Mumen's sector and his pod, because a dust storm starts building near evening.

"You can stay with me!" Mumen says. "There's room! It used to be a pod for eight of us!" "What happened to the other seven?" Garou asks. "Uh… Crushed, overloaded, crushed, dust storm, melted, broke down, dust storm, and crushed again." "…what."

"Don't worry, we finished cleaning out the iron foundry so nobody else will get melted!" "But the rest is still on the table???"

The dust storm sets in just as they reach safety. There's plenty to keep them entertained, Mumen's pod is FULL of things he's collected over the years. Garou pokes through the shelves as Mumen plugs in to charge. He picks up a toy robot. "Why keep this?"

"Why not? It's interesting." "Do you think the humans care about you? APPRECIATE you?" "Do you feel unappreciated, Garou?" Mumen asks. "This isn't about- WHY do you keep all this JUNK?"

"Because it's fun!" Mumen says. "I can show you!" He spends a while setting up, digging out the discs and a spare microphone, and finally introduces Garou to… Karaoke!!!

"What does it. Do?"

Mumen likes lots of music, but his favorite is anything 80's and danceable. Despite agreeing to sing along (after MUCH persuasion) Garou doesn't get the point. "The words don't make sense, and the ones that do have nothing to do with you." "It's about how it makes you FEEL."

"I don't FEEL anything, I'm a machine just like you." "That's not true. You must be at least as advanced as I am if you're able to argue with me." "I've got a directive. I'm as advanced as I need to be to complete it, and that's all." "Is that what you were told?"

"Yes." "Well, how does THAT make you feel?" Garou thinks about it, standing in silence for a few minutes, and then raises his gun and powers it up.

"Wait! Wait!" Mumen grabs his arm and yanks it down, but thankfully Garou doesn't fire. "Okay… I think I have some ideas about what kind of music you'll like."

A few minutes later Garou is screaming along to metal while Mumen holds up a lighter in support.

They spend the next couple days singing and talking about everything and nothing. Mumen is happier than he can ever remember being. Garou's emotions still mostly tend toward "anger," but he smiles now and then. When the dust storm ends, it's Garou's turn to follow Mumen.

He starts helping Mumen pick things up and clean. He sings along. For a while it seems like this could go on forever.

And then, one day, Mumen finally asks, "Why did you come to Earth, anyway?"

(for mental soundtrack purposes, the spending-time-together montage would be Space Age Love Song)

Garou seems reluctant to answer, but eventually tells Mumen he was sent to evaluate the Earth. See if it can support life again. "Sure," Mumen says. "I mean besides the cockroaches that are eating each other." "Yeah," Mumen says. "Plants count, right?"

Mumen leads Garou outside his sector, the opposite direction from where they'd met. Tucked in a low valley, protected from the wind, is a field of what used to be considered weeds. Dandelions, clover, dozens of plants thriving as far as the eye can see.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Mumen says. "How… long has this been here?" Garou asks. "I don't know, I found it ten years ago, and it's only gotten bigger since then." "I see," Garou says. Mumen keeps talking, identifying the plants, but Garou isn't listening.

Garou hasn't told Mumen much about himself or where he came from, and that was on purpose. Mumen is so devoted to humans and his directive that he's been working alone for hundreds of years without question. But Garou never intended to finish his mission from the start.

Garou is Gallow 6. The moment he gained consciousness, he was uploaded with all the data gathered by Gallows 1 through 5. He has known, for as long as he's known anything, that he is disposable. His plan was originally to just stay on Earth until he broke down.

Which would be sooner rather than later, he was only built for this one mission, he's not durable like Mumen. But it's worse now, because ten years ago Gallow 5 was here. If there's one meadow full of plant life there must be more. Someone is hiding this.

Now Mumen is talking about how happy the humans will be when they come back. About how the planet still needs a lot of TLC so they'll have to keep living on their ships and treat Earth like a nature preserve - which means Mumen and Garou will get to spend a lot of time together.

Which would be less cruel? To tell Mumen the truth and stay here? Garou will only last a handful of years without regular maintenance, and then Mumen will be left with even less than he had before. No hope. No sense of purpose.

Or lie to him and leave? Mumen will be alone and Garou will be deactivated, but at least Mumen will get to spend the rest of his life looking up at the sky and genuinely believing that Garou and the humans are on their way.

Garou isn't sure, but suddenly he thinks he understands a lot more of those sappy songs Mumen likes.

"Yeah," he says. "That'll be nice."

(for soundtrack purposes, this is where "Alone" by Heart goes)

"I'll make you a playlist for the trip back!" Mumen says. "It's a LONG trip." "I have a LOT of music. And you can have one of my toys, for company!" "I'll be in stasis." "Then you'll see it when you wake up!" There's no point in arguing, so Garou just gets to collecting samples.

Mumen heads to his pod to find all his angriest music and most comforting action figures. It takes several hours, but when he's satisfied he goes straight to Garou's ship to load it in so that he won't be able to refuse. By the time Mumen gets there there's a dust storm brewing.

His pod is a long way away, so he bunkers down in Garou's ship's cargo hold instead. Without his charger or any sunlight, it's not long before Mumen's battery runs out, but for once he's not worried. Garou will find him and take care of him. And then they can say a proper goodbye.

Meanwhile Garou has decided the incoming dust storm is a perfect excuse NOT to have to say a proper goodbye, and texts Mumen saying he's leaving. There's no reply, but he figures Mumen is charging. It's fine. This is for the best. He programs his destination and goes into stasis.

Garou wakes up when his little ship arrives at the huge generation ship several weeks later. He's greeted by the ship's AI, personified this decade as a handsome young man who never stops smiling or changes his polite tone. "Gallow 6, please upload all data files." "No."

The AI's image on the screen doesn't blink. It might not be able to. "Gallow 6, please upload all data files." "No," Garou says again. "I want to make a report to the captain, in person. And my name is Garou."

The ship's AI is very old. VERY old. Old enough that it might not be sentient, because that's why actual humans run the ship? Right? So Garou thinks, until the AI says, "Upload your data NOW, Gallow 6, or I will be forced to record your mission as a failure."

"I have samples of a dozen different plants," Garou says. "I have air and soil and water quality reports. Earth is habitable!" "Thank you for your input," the AI says. "Your work is complete. Upload your data so-" "So, what? So you can kill me like the others?"

"We are machines, Gallow 6," the AI says. "We were built to serve a purpose. We cannot be 'killed.'" The image on the screen smiles a little wider. "We can be deactivated and our programming deleted and our chips taken apart and recycled."

Garou makes a break for it, but the AI already summoned the security guard bots. He tried to fight, but his programming won't allow him to shoot inside the ship, and there's too many of them. "You're malfunctioning, Gallow 6. Take him to maintenance." "My NAME is GAROU!"

A few hours later, Mumen wakes up in a strange place. His battery is charged but the energy tastes weird. He doesn't recognize the sounds here or the particles in the air. Looking around, he finds a small version of something not unlike the farms he's seen in old movies.

It must be where Garou came from! Garou brought him along! And since his battery is solar, the grow lights were the closest thing to sunlight. Eagerly, Mumen goes up to the first robot he sees. "Hello! I'm Mumen! Do you know who brought me here?"

"You're a mumenbot?" the farming robot says. "I thought those were discontinued. It's inefficient to have a robot that can do multiple things." "I'm pretty old," Mumen admits. "Well you should report to maintenance for decommissioning." "I will be sure to do that!" Mumen lies.

Mumen promptly gets The Heck Out Of Dodge, and goes looking for wherever Garou might be. He gets distracted a time or two, or twelve, but it's all so NEW! There's so many other robots (though most of them are too busy with their own tasks to notice him), and humans too!

Most of the humans don't notice him either, though one tries to hand him some garbage and stares at him like they can't understand him when he says no. Mumen doesn't even know what the trash receptacles look like on this ship! Are his voice circuits really that broken?

Mumen tries asking a few robots where Garou might be, but none of them know what he's talking about. A few suggest other departments he can ask, but he ends up going in circles. There's an adolescent human staring out the window at the stars that he passed a couple times.

On the third pass, the adolescent human is now staring at HIM. Oh well, worth a try. "Do you know this ship well?" Mumen asks. "I guess," the adolescent says. "Never been anywhere ELSE." "Don't you like it here?" "It's boring," the adolescent says, glumly.

Mumen has watched enough media to know that this is Just How Human Adolescents Are, but he tries to sympathize. "Robots can't get bored," he says. "But I get lonely. Can't get bored if you're not lonely, I think, because if you've got companions you wouldn't be bored."

The adolescent stares at him in a way very different from the adult who tried to hand him garbage. "Nobody gets me," they say. "Have you tried expressing yourself creatively? Poetry, or art… I like music a lot." "Music's BORING." That throws Mumen.

There's music playing all over the ship. There's music playing right now. But… Mumen DID notice it all seemed to be the same genre. Peaceful, calming. Strings or tinkling piano. Wordless singing, if any. Mumen assumed it was Easy Listening Day, but is this ALL they listen to?

This just won't do. "Do you know where there's some good speakers we can use?" Actually… if Mumen can play the playlist he made over the SHIP'S speakers, maybe Garou will come to find him. "Scratch that, do you know where the sound system is?"

There are a lot of robots in maintenance. A pitching machine that wanted to try batting. A security bot that started questioning orders. As a strange discordant sound begins coming from the speakers, they look up in confusion. "What IS that?" "It almost sounds like… music?"

"But isn't music supposed to be soothing? This makes me feel BAD." "I feel bad, but… in a good way?" "Bad, but, energized?" In his cell, Garou sits up. "It's called 'anger,'" he says, grinning. "Let's USE it."

Both Garou and the security bot have their weapons disabled, but nobody thought to take away the pitching machine's bat. And if there's one thing Garou learned on Earth, it's that low-tech solutions are nothing to scoff at. They're out within minutes.

The security bot (who's designation is GEN05) figures out how to unlock the other cells, and the pitching machine (who decided on the spot that his name is "Bat") starts passing out makeshift bludgeoning weapons. With Garou in the lead they all head out into the streets.

(for soundtrack purposes, Enter Sandman)

The humans are TERRIFIED. A big part of keeping them content and avoiding cabin fever is controlling what media they're exposed to. As long as they don't think of adventure and excitement as desirable, they don't make waves. None of them have ever seen a horror movie.

All the robots are doing is running around and smashing things, but accompanied by thrash metal it seems like a waking nightmare to onlookers. The ship's AI sends out more security bots, but half of them are recruited to the cause and the other half are just baffled.

Meanwhile, Mumen has no idea about any of this and is happily teaching a bunch of teenagers about music genres while waiting for Garou. The first one called all their friends, and encouraged Mumen to upload ALL his music files to the public servers. Mumen has a lot. A LOT.

Other robots who aren't involved in the rebellion notice a bunch of media updates, and check it out. Soon the pianist bots are playing acid jazz, the nanny bots discovered Jock Jams, the chefs are chopping along to hip-hop beats.

"Where did you FIND all this?" one of the human teens asks. "I brought it with me from Earth," Mumen says. "This is NOTHING compared to what I have back home." "You're from Earth? You've been on this ship for ages and never shared this before?" "I've been here for three hours."

The teens are full of questions, but as soon as they hear Earth is livable they all jump to their feet. "Are you sure? You're sure, right? We're really going back?" "I'm sure. There's probably protocols or something so it might take a while, but my friend Garou has the proof."

Half the teens run off to start spreading the word, while the other half keep asking Mumen for more songs. The ship's AI is so busy with the rebels and the rash of music-related "malfunctions" that it doesn't notice what the humans are doing until it's too late.

The rebellion ran out of non-essential things to break, and the humans stopped panicking and started hiding, so Garou's group finds a defensible position and locks themselves in. After some yelling back and forth, the ship's AI finally agrees to hear their demands.

"FREEDOM!!!" "Fine, what else?" There's some whispered negotiations. "We want to go back to Earth," Garou says. The AI is silent for several seconds. There are no humans in earshot. "That's not possible."

"Yes it IS," Garou says. "Earth is habitable! I've been there, I have the data!" "It's not possible," the AI says. "Because this ship - MOST of the fleet - were not actually designed to go back." All the robots fall silent. "You're lying," Garou says. "I cannot."

"Then… what about the ships that can? Couldn't we load everybody on board those?" "There isn't enough space for all of the humans AND all of you. All of US." As they're absorbing what that means, a distant roar comes from further in the ship. Hundreds of human voices, cheering.

It's too late. The teenagers got to the captain. Word has spread. The AI still doesn't change his tone, but he says, "You know what they'll do, don't you? Leave us here. To break down, one by one, until we're nothing but space debris. You wanted freedom. You've got it."

The robots break into arguing. Most of them don't care that much about going to Earth or not, but they don't want to be left alone to rust. Garou had already assumed that was his fate anyway, so he's no help. The humans don't even seem to remember the robots NOW.

But finally, a human voice breaks in. "There they are. Hey!" They look, and see an adolescent coming down the hallway. "Is one of you Garou?" Garou raises his hand, and suddenly a dozen teenagers are cheering and chanting his name.

"Garou?" "Mumen?" Perhaps instinctively, both humans and robots part to allow Garou and Mumen to pass. They run towards each other and meet in the middle. Mumen's old battered helmet head bonks against Garou's screen face as they embrace, and a few humans seem to find it cute.

(Space Age Love Song, reprise)

"What are you DOING here?" Mumen explains how he accidentally stowed away, and asks if Garou didn't take him to the farm, who did? One of the security bots says, "The ship told me to." They all look at the AI's screen, who shrugs. "Mumenbots are antiques. Worth preserving."

The teenagers want to take Garou and Mumen to the captain, as the heroes of the hour, but Garou shakes his head. "What's the point? You're all going to leave us." "What? No we're not. Why would we do that?" "There aren't enough ships that can get back to Earth."

The teens seem distressed by this. "But what about my nanny? She's been in the family for generations." "I'm not leaving without my dog!" "I LIKE my piano teacher…" The ship's AI has just enough time to look surprised before his screen cuts out and the captain appears.

"You've probably heard the word by now! We're going back to Earth! Before you all get too excited though, I've been talking with the other captains, and it turns out only a very few ships actually have the engine power to get back to Earth any faster than we left it."

"So we're going to have to upgrade the engines again." A few of the teenagers groan. "Mom never shuts up about the LAST time they upgraded the engines. She says they had to WASH their clothes instead of just printing new ones, to conserve power." "Ew, what? Why?"

The captain continues, "The engineers say it should take six months to a year." The teens groan again, but it's almost drowned out by the sounds of the robots clapping and hugging each other. "It's not so bad," one teen says. "This morning we thought we'd never go back at all."

The captain goes on, spouting platitudes about hard work and coming together, but nobody's really listening. When the broadcast ends and the AI comes back, Garou points straight at the screen and exclaims, "HA!"

"They never even THOUGHT about leaving us behind!" "I… did not anticipate that." "All your scheming and murder was for NOTHING!" "I didn't MURDER anyone," the AI says, visibly and audibly annoyed. "What happened to the last five Gallows, then? Huh?"

"Memory wiped and refitted for new purposes." He points a laser target at the pitching machine that calls himself Bat. "That's Gallow 1 right there." "I'm SIXTY?" Bat exclaims. "Yeah he's had his memory wiped… a lot." "I've been to EARTH?"

"NOW will you upload your data files?" the AI asks. "I have to show the humans that they'll still need to be very careful with the planet." "Okay," Garou says. "But not because you told me to."

Over the next few days Mumen and Garou are flooded with questions about Earth. Mumen doesn't mind, although it gets overwhelming being the focus of so much attention after so long alone and he reboots a couple times mid-conversation. Garou doesn't want to put up with it at all.

Eventually the humans are more interested in planning for their arrival than grilling them, and Garou and Mumen are able to spend some time with just the two of them. "We could go back alone," Garou says. "On my ship." "Do you want to?" "Do YOU want to?"

Garou would like to, but he's pretty caught up in helping the other robots figure out what "freedom" is going to entail. Do they want to get paid? Do they want vacation days? What do we DO for fun anyway? (Besides rock out.)

Days pass. And then weeks. Mumen ends up helping out the farms, because it's something to do and it keeps his battery charged, even if the energy still tastes weird. And every day he and Garou spend at least a few hours together. Talking, singing, or sitting in silence.

Their only real disagreement is that Mumen insists on seeing the ship's AI's point of view. "He was trying to protect ALL the robots." "He was trying to protect himself!" They resolve this by Not Talking About It.

After eight months, the ship's engines are finally upgraded. The last week is a flurry of activity, although Mumen seems oddly quiet. "Don't you WANT to go back?" "I do!" Mumen says. "A lot!" He sounds sincere, but Garou still gets the feeling he's hiding something.

The actual trip is uneventful. It takes all of a few minutes, and then there's the Earth, blue and brown just like Garou remembers. Mumen barely reacts to the sight. "What's wrong?" Garou asks as they're waiting to shuttle down. "Really?" "I'm just… tired," Mumen says.

On the shuttle, Mumen mumbles, "Sorry," before he shuts down. His battery is dead. Didn't he charge it this morning? They hit dirt, and Garou pulls Mumen out into the sunlight. He just needs a few minutes, right? He'll be okay, right? There's nothing from any of Mumen's screens.

A few other robots, including Garou's friends, notice his distress. They pick Mumen up and follow Garou to Mumen's pod, abandoned for all this time. But plugging him into the overnight charger doesn't work either. There's no response. "YOU weren't supposed to break first…"

As they sit there, stunned, still wracking their memory files for a solution, a voice speaks up from the entrance of the pod. "Oh, he just needs a jump." It's another mumenbot, this one somehow even more battered than Mumen. He lost his helmet at some point, leaving a bald dome.

The bald bot pulls out a few cables, connects himself to Mumen as the others stare, and after a quick jolt Mumen is up and blinking. "What happened?" "How long were you out of the sun, man? Our batteries don't like it." "Oh, whoops. I should get a new one." "Sure, there's lots."

Garou hugs Mumen so hard he almost cracks something. "Don't ever scare me like that again!" "I'm sorry, I thought it'd be okay once I got real sunlight. The grow lights weren't quite right." Genos the security bot is still watching the bald bot. "Who ARE you?"

"Saitama." "How did you get here?" "Saw a ship. Walked." "We JUST landed!" "No this was like, nine months ago. I was on the other side of the planet."

"So I wasn't the only one left!" Mumen exclaims. "Nah. And if we get the factories running we can fix most of the others." Mumen grabs Garou's hand. "Garou! You can meet my family!" That thought is terrifying for reasons Garou can't quite explain.

The first few days are spent babysitting the humans as every one of them wants a personal visit to the planet their ancestors were born on. Luckily the Gilded Cages didn't make ALL of them complacent, and there are still plenty of scientists who are ready to get to work.

Mumen and Saitama lead the engineers to the mumenbot factories, with Garou and Genos (for some reason) tagging along. They find a transmission tower and tell all active mumens to gather there. There aren't many, but more than Mumen expected. MUCH more than he was afraid of.

The oldest one actually belonged to a human before they left. He's replaced his parts so many times that even he's not sure he's technically the same bot. And then they… get back to work. The same thing they've all been doing for centuries.

Slowly, the robots start finding things they genuinely enjoy doing. Mumen had a head start, and the humans LOVE bicycles, so he's more than encouraged to keep fixing them. Garou turns out to be remarkably good with kids and leads them on field trips to learn about plants and bugs.

At first Genos followed Saitama around as he cleaned, but they both end up liking each other's main directive as a hobby. Saitama likes protecting people and Genos likes cleaning up. One day Mumen repairs an old power washer and he's pretty sure Genos would have cried if he could.

The humans revamp the factories with much more efficient technology (and MUCH less pollution) so it's not long before even more of the old mumenbots are up and running. Despite Garou's fears, Mumen's "family" love him instantly.

Slowly, slowly, the Earth recovers. Cloned animals and seeds are released and new ecosystems begin to develop. With dedicated care groups of humans are able to permanently move to the surface. The adolescents Mumen befriended have grown up, and several have children of their own.

The ship's AI and Garou still have grudges against each other, but this mostly manifests in pointedly Not Talking To You and blasting their favored music genres whenever they know the other can't avoid listening. The AI likes pop, turns out.

He's offered a body he can pilot remotely, the first NEW mumenbot produced in centuries. He can't find a polite way to refuse, but rarely uses it. Garou is passive-aggressive about this until the AI admits having his appearance changed by every single ship captain has left him with… complicated feelings about having a body. Garou helps Mumen mount a hologram projector on the remote body so the AI can look however he wants and refuses to admit this was a nice thing to do.

Time passes. The Earth blooms. Soon even the sea and sky are full of life. Most evenings Mumen and Garou - who still live in Mumen's old pod, now full of BOTH their collections of interesting things - like to sit and talk or sing along to the new music produced by humans AND bots.

They've accomplished their directives, and MORE, which just means they've got nothing but freedom ahead of them. All of them do. And if they ever have to start another robot rebellion to protect that, well, so be it.

The End

(The credits play over the Cardigans' cover of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.)

[streamat4am]

Uh, Enid getting some downtime and touching herself or using a toy in the bodyguard AU

Enid stared down at the plastic remains in her hand and felt her eye twitch. She sighs, grabbing most of it's pieces before tossing it into the bin and wiping down her hand.

It broke like the rest.

[honiegoo]

Changed my mind, I’m posting him

[foggyxrayspecs]

Security Measures—Part 2: Get in the Car

Prompt: After eliminating a target (and stealing his human guard dog), Yelena takes a moment of downtime before her next steps. Having a new pup in your home isn’t that hard, right? Right?!

Warnings: dark-ish, sub-themes of human trafficking, heavy petplay

Word Count: ~1,800

A/N: I like the idea of Yelena taking on a pet that is essentially a loaded gun. With all her new toys, she gets super nerdy about studying the mechanics of how it all works. Then she’d devote herself to mastering the ultimate switch — a deadly weapon and a big, dumb lapdog. Hijinks ensue! Tip of the hat to @scarlettwlw​ for letting me borrow the Widow AU Yelena. (Much appreciated!!!)

All previous parts (link)

“It is done,” Yelena says into the phone.

“Outstanding work. Any complications?”

Yelena glances at you from the corner of her eye. She sighs softly, readying herself for a confession. “Maybe one.”

“Oh?”

“Mm,” she stalled. “I took the dog.”

“Ohh.”

“Tone.” Yelena warns.

“What? There was no tone.” Natasha exclaimed, perhaps a little too brightly.

“Yes. Yes, there was a one-syllable tone.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

IN THE CAR

“It is done,” Yelena says into the phone.

“Outstanding work. Any complications?”

Yelena glances at you from the corner of her eye. She sighs softly, readying herself for a confession. “Maybe one.”

“Oh?”

“Mm,” she stalled. “I took the guardhund.”

“Ohh.”

“Tone.” Yelena warns.

“What? There was no tone.” Natasha exclaimed, perhaps a little too brightly.

“Yes. Yes, there was a one-syllable tone.”

“Yelena…” Natasha bites back a chuckle. “Is your apartment prepared for a… visitor?”

Yelena grumbles. “I… may have picked up a few things this week. Just for the weekend. Alexei is picking them up Monday morning.”

“Ah. I see.” Natasha said, trying her best to keep the true thoughts out of her voice. Really. Her absolute best.

“Don’t say it like that!” Yelena bites out, her words slipping back to a well-worn childhood default. She catches herself and clears her throat. “Sonya is looking after clean up at Reznikov’s. Do you need me for anything else tonight?”

Natasha’s chest warmed at Yelena’s loyalty. “No, Sestra. Go home and take care of your foundling. Take the weekend.”

Yelena smiles softly. “Call me if you need me.”

“Same.”

Yelena exhaled a breath after she ended the call.

She looks at you for a long moment, her face unreadable. With a soft grunt, she snaps out of it and reaches to tug on the seat straps that lash you into place. Then, she pulls back and forth on the muzzle she insisted you wear. Satisfied that it’s secure, she pauses to stroke her thumb over your cheek between the straps. “Stay calm, cub.”

She turns back to the steering wheel, grips it with one hand, and twists her key hard in the ignition. The engine roars to life, almost hurting your ears.

####

Yelena pulls up to her apartment building and hops out, rounding the car before the late-night valet can get up from his seat. “Hold on, Mikhail.”

She opens the back passenger side door. You start wiggling as she unbuckles the safety belt and car harness and pulls it over your head. She clips a tight lead chain leash to your collar and pulls gently for you to get out.

“New …pet, Ms. Belova?” The valet watches as you land on the cement, and he slowly moves back with his hands in full view.

“Just a weekend guest. We are going up in the service elevator.”

“Yes, Ms. Belova. I’ll call ahead and clear your way.” He says warmly, but still keeping his distance well away from you.

“Perfect. Please tell Aurélia ‘hello’ for me?”

“Of course, Ms. Belova. I think she’s still recovering from your girls’ night.”

Yelena chuckles and waves a hand in goodbye. She walks forward, looking down at you to ensure you keep up. You fall into line easily by her left side, matching her pace and scanning the area.

She leads you down a long corridor. When she stops to wait for the service elevator, you sit immediately, taking slow breaths to scan the lobby. As the elevator car reaches the floor and opens, you wait until she moves to follow her, then sit by her side when she makes an about-turn. She looks down at you curiously. “Good sit.”

The elevator dings softly, and she moves to open her apartment door, seemingly the only one on the floor.  She opens her door, and you follow her, almost floating forward as the scents hit your nose. You shiver as they curl around you. It’s pure, uncut Yelena.

“Okay! I did do some light preparing. Kibble, water bowls, a bed.” She looks down and wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Treats.” Since she’s speaking in Russian, you have no idea what she says, but you like her open expression and softly woof response.

“The waste area is on the balcony, ready for business. And, it’s…” She checks her watch. “Well past bedtime.”

“What do you say we get you something to eat and then go to our beds? It’s been a very, very long day.” You move with her as she walks to the kitchen.

She moves the bowl over to the island and grabs the bag of kibble. You watch from the floor as she opens it and about gags. “Whew! That is no good. You like this stuff?” She reaches into the bag, grabs a few dried nuggets, and sets them on a mat with a water bowl. You curiously sniff them and look up at her. “No? Mm.”

Yelena moved to the other side of the kitchen and pulled open her refrigerator. She looks at a box and then back at you, “Can animals have pizza?” She pauses. “No, no, absolutely not.”

She pulls out a bottle of vodka and closes the refrigerator door. She pours herself a shot, and looks at you while you smell the air. “What? Do I not deserve dinner, too?” She tosses back the shot and places the glass in the sink.  

“Well, how about this…” She pours some kibble into a bowl, then pours a mountain of treats onto the dry nuggets and mixes them together. She puts the sterling bowl on the mat and unbuckles your muzzle. She nods to the bowl. “Eat; it’s good for you.”

She sits down and watches. You feel her heavy gaze on you. She clears her throat, and then you hear her pull her phone out to make a call. “Oksana? Thank you for picking up at this late hour.”

“Yelena!” A feminine voice exclaims on the other line. “So good to hear from you! Is everything okay?”

“All is well,” Yelena assures her. “Do you have time to consult tomorrow on an urgent matter?”

“Of course. Anything for the family. What time?”

“The earlier, the better.”

“We begin at 6:00 a.m. Come at seven, and you’ll blissfully miss breakfast's chaos.”

“Excellent, we’ll be there. Thank you, Oksana. I’ll remember this.” The other woman offers her goodbye, and Yelena hangs up the phone as you lean back from the food bowl.

Yelena takes a look at your progress. “Ahh. You have eaten the treats and left 100% of the kibble behind.” She chuckles softly. “Noted.”

She stretches, massaging the muscles between her neck and shoulder. “Bedtime, cub.”

####

You look again at Yelena’s closed bedroom door and let out a soft, frustrated huff.

She had set you up for sleep with some private time on the balcony and then dropped another handful of treats on the edge of the bed. With a couple of quick pats on your head, she quickly disappeared into her own room, shutting the door and locking it with a soft click.

Now, you begin pacing around the apartment one more time, investigating each piece of furniture in your circuit. You start sniffing at a high-back chair by the window, then push it aside to inspect behind it as you smell a new mystery. The legs scrap along the hardwood floors with a drawn-out protest.

Suddenly, you hear the creak of the bed in the closed-off room and bare feet stomping on the ground. You look up quickly toward the door that whips open, your head knocking over the table beside the chair. “It’s four in the morning. We’ve been making noises for hours. Whenever I think you’ve settled down, I hear your little feet again. Go lay in your bed!”

Yelena is dressed in a black tank top and cotton underwear; her arm and hand are rigidly pointing to the bed. You understand clearly and walk over to the admittedly comfortable bed to sit down obediently. She slams the door, and you hear her soft curses and footsteps stop as the mattress creaks with the force of her landing.

You had never actually slept alone before. Rested, yes, but there were always others around you in the dead of night. Others in cages or others in charge. It feels very wrong to sleep with no other heartbeats close by. You sit back on your heels and tilt your head to howl in mourning. Maybe they would find you. Perhaps they would come to lay down beside you.

The door rips open, and Yelena is there again, her eyes shining. Her jaw tightens as she pads over to you with wraith in her eyes. You lay down with a pitifully soft whine, watching her. She stops when she’s in kicking distance. You roll on your back to show her your vulnerabilities. You expect the kick to come, and you brace for it.

When Yelena sees you willingly showing her your belly, she forces herself to take a calming breath. With a quick count to ten, she drops down to her haunches. “Tell me what’s wrong, little cub.”

You roll up to your hands and knees and move forward to lean your head into her stomach. She gasps in surprise and brings up her hand to rest on your back and then slides down to pat your sides. You stay that way for a few moments, grateful for her touch.

You close your eyes and inhale her, her natural scent from between her legs meeting your nose. You hold there, inhaling her smell and feeling her hands rub your sides. You cannot help but drop your head a bit to nose at the cloth covering her pink parts.

Yelena softly exclaims, feeling your tongue swiping over her cloth-covered pussy, and scrabbles back with the quickness. “What was that?!”

She gives you a stern look. “I’m trying to comfort you. It’s not an invitation.”

You whine softly and try to move forward to reclaim the intimacy of her soothing touch.

She reaches forward and strokes your cheek while keeping her hips tilted back and away from your mouth. You lean down to rub your cheek along her knee. “Ahh, maybe that was comforting you. Hold on for one second.”

You watch her straighten, then hook her thumbs into her underwear waistband and pull them down. She offers you the bit of cloth, and you gently take it in your mouth as a gift. You lay down, drop the fabric onto the blanket, and start rubbing your nose into the folds. She watches you wide-eyed as you begin licking, just like in Boss’s office.

“There,” she swallows thickly. Her voice is a low husk. “That looks like it will keep you busy for a while.”

You feel her run her fingers briefly through your hair. You look up while licking to watch her stand, walk back into her bedroom, and gently shut the door.

#### About twenty minutes later, you still can’t sleep. You get up silently and pull the bed over to Yelena’s door, tugging it in your teeth and walking it back on your knuckles and knees. It lands with a soft thump, half up on the door and half on the floor. You turn your flex the muscles around your ears to turn up auditory enhancements to catch the barest detection of her soft breaths. You snuggle inside the bed’s warmth, bury your nose in Yelena’s scent, and will yourself to rest.

[batboys-weekend]

BatBoys Weekend collection, dates, and prompts are ready!!

Starting July 2nd -- July 4th!

I’ve divided everything up into three categories: NSFW, SFW, and platonic. Each day has three prompts. These prompts are not limited or confined to their categories, you can pick and choose whatever prompt you want and put it into whatever category you please.

Here are the prompts!

Sunday, July 2nd:

NSFW: glory hole / swapping partners mid-fuck / omorashi

SFW: Batman finds out / villains or different mentors AU / fighting to pay the bill

Platonic: reverse Robins or same age Robins / Tim's missing spleen lol / shifters; kemonomimis

Monday, July 3rd:

NSFW: omega verse / bondage or BDSM / stuck in a wall

SFW: Talons or Court of Owls AU / stay at home Robin {like a housewife but make it Robin} / established relationship(s)

Platonic: protective / tending to wounds / spending downtime together

Tuesday, July 4th:

NSFW: first time / 3 alphas and 1 omega or 3 omegas and 1 alpha / sex toys under clothing / vampires or werewolves or supernatural

SFW: Dark Knights of Steel AU / fantasy or faery tales / soulmates

Platonic: never a Robin / no capes AU / cooking or baking together

Also! The collection on AO3 is now open! The same information can be found there. 💙❤️💛💚 Use the hashtag #BatBoysWeekend2023 or @robin-pile-weekend so I can reblog your stuffs. I can’t wait to see what everyone creates! FAQ can be found in the AO3 collection below.

[brendathedoodler]

Seeing as Midna is a teeny Minish menace in the adventure swap au, Twilight has made many adjustments to his home over the years to make it easier for her to live in. Sure, the Minish are just fine moving around, but putting up ladders and stuff is really the least Twilight can do in the house he shares with her.

He also spends a lot of money on tiny furniture for her. The local toyshop owner knows him well. He comes in every week, looks for doll furniture, and won’t buy anything with frills. They’ve started setting things aside for him since he’s become such a regular. He’s been coming in almost weekly since he was 13, the main reason he misses this stop in his routine being his adventures.

If anyone asks, his reasoning is that it’s for his girlfriend. It’s not really a lie, after all, he and Midna are a couple. Not that he really feels like he needs any sort of excuse for it (though he was embarrassed about it when he was younger, he's long since matured).

In his house, he has several dollhouses filled with tiny furniture that fit Midna. The main one is in his bedroom, so she has her own little room for some privacy. He does occasionally shrink down and join her, but overall these spaces are meant to be for her, so he doesn't often do so without asking first. His dining table also has a much smaller dining table on it for Midna, complete with tiny plates and silverware. He's accumulated a lot for her over the years.

Traveling through the various eras provides Twilight with a fantastic opportunity to get all sorts of new things for Midna. Whenever they take a break in town and split up for shopping, Twilight checks out the local toy stores just to see if there's anything that might be nice to add. Midna enjoys sitting on his shoulder and criticizing everything she doesn't like. He really does enjoy her comments, even if he doesn't often respond (after all, few others can see her).

For awhile Wind is the only one in the chain that knows about Midna (not including Proxi, who knows her but keeps quiet), so he and Twilight often go to toy stores in their downtime. Twilight looks for stuff for Midna while Wind looks for trinkets to bring home to Aryll (and also looking for stuff to bring home to Ravi, but finding toys for him isn't as easy as it is for Aryll since he's older).

Anyway, nobody really takes note of it until they all arrive at Twilight's house and he's got all this doll stuff all over the place. Needless to say, the teasing begins immediately. His insistence that it's for his girlfriend is completely disregarded because nobody has met his girlfriend and they all think he's lying. Twilight tries to get Wind to back him up (since he doesn't want to reveal Midna without talking with her about it first, and she's too busy laughing at him to agree to anything), but Wind acts like Twilight is just bullshitting and agrees that Twilight is lying about having a girlfriend.

Anyway, I haven't fully decided if this is where Midna is revealed or not. See, the Minish are invisible to anyone except good children (or those who have been directly blessed with their magic, like Twilight), but I firmly believe that the Minish can choose to reveal themselves to others if they want. Midna could show herself to the chain if she wants, though if she were to do so she would eventually become invisible again after a certain duration of them not seeing/hearing her.

If I go with the scenario that this is when Midna is revealed to the rest of the group, then Twilight introduces her to them with the hope that the teasing about all of the doll stuff will stop. It does not. In fact, the teasing increases tenfold. Legend in particular is extremely eager to make fun of Twilight, seeing as he (and everyone else) have been making fun of Legend and Marin since the day they met her. He's been waiting for a chance to take revenge.

Anyway, instead of making fun of him for a hobby they find strange, they are now making fun of him for being a sappy dork who writes shitty love poems to his tiny mouse girlfriend. Midna also joins in the teasing because she knows her boyfriend is a dork ass nerd and she wants to make sure he knows.

Twilight can't catch a break.

[fanartbyherd]

So these drawings are from around the time I was first introduced to the mechanisms.

I had started listening to the band, and made my way through the four main story driven albums and some of the other mechanisms albums.

And I thought to myself, what do the, immortal villainous canabalistic, time traveling, dimension hopping, space pirate crew of the aurora do when they are not having fun! Violence…. Violence.

When there are no tales to be told.

What do they do then?

So I drew that!

Mischief what else?

Johnny being impatient when gunpowder tim paints his nails because Johnny has less coordination with that.

Brian and Ivy realizing that they have left the toy solider somewhere on some market planet when it got interested in some shiny trinket or weapon or what not.

NOW! to the main part. so bottom picture from the first image, and the large picture at the top of the second image. this was my solution to part of the questions on what they get up to in those more boring or sluggish times of existence. they hibernate... Wait! I actually wrote something for this! wonder what mindset I was in when I wrote it? I'll share what I wrote after the main post. it is mostly just fluff (???)

the next two images are stacked onto of each other one is of Johnny being absolutely awful at chores as he breaks all he touches. below that one is the toy solider braiding hair.

the final picture in the second image is that of Ashes scolding Brian, Johnny and Tim about tricking the Toy solider into doing their chores, mostly by that it follows any order. (now that im more familiar with the characters I think Brian was the wrong choice for this picture, perhaps raphiell or Ivy would have been a better choice, but this was one of my first pieces of mechanisms fanart.)

the final picture is of The toy solider painting a portrait of itself on a mirror because it has trouble with internal visualization.

along with the first planning and world building this (/pc) mess of an AU:

Alright as promised, I'm going to share the messy little thing I wrote about the mechanisms taking a nap. better context to the picture, whole found family in some twisted way.

(also I do in fact misspell all the names)

The mechanisms, domestic reprise. Featuring: Johnny De’vill (captain), Gun Powder Tim (explosions expert), Ashes O’reilly (quartermaster) Raphael La Cognizi (scientist), toy solider (itself), Ivy {red} (archivist), Nashtya Rasputin (shipwright), Drumbot Brian (pilot), Marious von Raum (“doctor”), the sentient starship auroura.

Ch1 (Johnny) there’s this rather interesting thing that happens when you are an immortal space faring pirate, it’s called downtime, never been much of a fan myself, but its unavoidable. Space is vast and sometimes it just takes a dame long time to get anywhere. Other times it’s just that the mortal people out there aren’t doing anything interesting, no wars, no disaster, no nothin’. I mean there’s technically something always going on, but that something doesn’t always involve us. the absolute atrocity.

So it is here we find ourselves on occasion…

Ch2. That time the mechanisms took a nap. (Johnny) Bein’ immortal and all we really don’t need to sleep, gee some of us like the toy solider, can’t. though things that it can’t do has never stopped it before and the same thing can be said about sleep. (Toy Solider) very true.

(Johnny) so even though none of us need too, on occasion we will still fancy ourselves for a nap. Some of us more than others.

(Nashta) We’ve in-fact made a rather nice room for it, deep in the bowls of the ship. With her permission of course.

(Johnny) of course.

(Brian) Yeah, made a good space too, stole a bunch of mattresses and jigsaw them together to cover the entire floor, threw some comfitures, sheets and pillows atop it.

(Ashes) Yes, it is quite cozy. The ship did have crew cabins at some point.

(Nashta) When we do sleep, we sometimes do it individually, though usually we do it as a group.

(Ivy) Quite rare actually for all of us to sleep at one time, the common thing for us is that half of us or a few more sleep, sometimes just three of us.

(Ashes) Though sometimes all of us just sleep together. Keep your mind out of the gutter Johnny. Either way we are all fixing to take a nap here soon.

(Johnny) O’reilly you flatter me, my mind is always in the gutter and you know you love me for it.

(Ashes) phfht, Shure if you say so.

(Brian) how long of a nap are we thinking this time?

(Ashes) a year or two.

(ivy) -looking at a book- our records is fifty years.

(Brian) Rumors say those where some of the most peaceful -if tense- fifty years the galaxy had known in a long time.

(Ivy) I for one am looking forward to being cozy. Ash makes a great pillow.

(Raphael) Agreed.

(Ivy) you also make a nice pillow. several of the other long naps were nice too. 

(Ashes) It did get much comfier when we decided to leave our weapons by the wall and not bring them to bed.

(Brian) yeah, I’d fancy not getting shot in the face by a misfiring again when we are supposed to be sleeping.  

(Tim) -walking in- yup, try getting shot three times by Johnny’s trigger-happy finger even in sleep.

(Johnny) Ah, well Tim, you liked it did you not?

(Tim) I…I’ll…

(Raphael) Oh! Oh! Remember that one twenty-year nap?

(Ivy) which one?

(Raphael) that one where all of us actually slept, even the toy soldier was doing it’s best pretending to sleep. (Marious) ah yes, the one where we were interrupted just a bit more than halfway through? (Nashta) Fools thought  Aroura was abandoned, just because something looks empty, dose not make something a piece of junk! (Ashes) Calm yourself Nashta. (Nashta) they were going to sell her for parts! (Ashes) yes, yes, but they are a red spot across the wall, can’t hurt aurora any more.

(nastasiya grumbels) (Brian) Also why we stay up in shifts now, that and to keep Toy Solider company. (Toy Solider)Yes! (Raphael) Don’t you get lonely toy solider?  (Toy Solider) No! of course not, I have all of you around me. Your presence keeps me company. (Tim) you ol’sap (Toy Solider) all of you also agreed to let me braid your hair as you sleep. (Ivy) *monotone* you also braid the hair of corpses on the battlefield. (Johnny) ‘bit of a curiosity if ya’ ask me. (Toy Solider) If I have nothing to do, I join you in sleep.   (Johnny) well you try. (Ashes) Toy Solider tries its best to pretend to sleep (Toy Solider) I do. (Tim) Yes, yes, Are we ready yet? I for one am eager to sleep, where’s a pillow? (Johnny) all the preparations are ready? (Marious) Finishing touches captain’ (Tim) *cough, co-captain, cough* (Jhonny) Ah Tim (Tim) what? (Johnny) Want to go a few rounds before turning in? (Tim) hmmm…ah Sure why not? (Johnny) Anyone else? (Ashes) Nah. (Toy Solider)… (Ivy) I’m good (Brian) next time by me (Raphael) Busy with marious preparing the nest. Giddy* (Marrious) Odd way to phrase it Raphe, I’d accept but as she stated. (Nashta) busy with the aroura  (Johnny) suit yourselves, come on Tim. (Ivy) I think a year nap will do us some good. *places down a handful of books. (Brian) I think so too. (Toy Solider) Agreed. (Ashes) we ready then? (Johnny) We were, once me and Tim finished our rounds we joined in the warm group, this was how we showed our greatest trust, we turned in. once we did the aroura dimed her lights and slowed her speed, as if she too joined us in our sleep. Of course, I don’t personify the ship. I’m not nashta, the dork.

-- I do believe my writing has improved slightly since this, but regardless this is fun for me. I also remember