#toxic relation traits

[authorred]

Yandere Spencer Reid heacanons because I was inspired |Part 1|

Preface: It’s hard to imagine the upstanding, moral Spencer Reid as an obsessive, compulsive lover who would do anything and everything for your love. Lucky for you, I’m here to help you imagine.

Yandere!Spencer Reid is chefs kiss. Exactly what I need (and want awooga)

Part 2 here Part 3 here

Warning(s): Mentions of violence, stalking, kidnapping, psychological abuse, (un)willing reader (depends on if you fw this imagine), spiral into pure criminality

He is first horrified when he begins to feel the obsession or possession

When he first meets you is when he first begins to get those feelings

Tries his absolute hardest to logic his way out of it, or to control it, or to seek help

Tries his best to communicate to you as a healthy, normal person would, but he can’t help but find those thoughts creeping in again

He believes it’ll be better if you’re away from him, but his thoughts and feelings change to hardcore yearning

Knows it’s not love he’s feeling, and is potentially dangerous to you

Might spiral down into a breakdown (or a few) because of it

Will genuinely think of himself as a horrible person who thinks he can’t get help

If you try to help him he’ll vehemently decline it and will tell you it’s a bad idea

Others at the BAU try their hardest to help him, but the thoughts are still there

If Reid sees you interacting with someone who seems interested in you, his mind will implode

Will be constantly trying to justify the person’s ‘disappearance’ to himself for hours whilst alone

Will come up with the excuse that the person is dangerous to you, or has the potential to be (his calculations will be slightly skewed)

At first, he’ll ask Morgan or Hotch to help him ‘deal with’ the person, but since the person is literally innocent, they can’t do anything

He gets frustrated but brushes it off as paranoia

Spencer starts to find himself hovering near where your house is just to ‘check in’ on you to see if you’re alright

To him, he’s just being protective over you. He wants you safe

But he also knows if he springs all of his thoughts and worries on you, you’ll hate him

Whenever he thinks about you hating him he feels like he can’t breathe

He needs you to like him--love him, even

As weeks and months go by, he doesn’t fight his impulsive thoughts as much as before

Whenever you’re near, you have 100% of his attention. He barely looks away from you if you’re within his line of sight

He’s a nervous wreck when you talk

He’s scared he’ll mess up and say something that’ll fuck your friendship up

He’s not good at mincing words, so he has to carefully curate his sentences

When you smile or laugh at something he says, he feels high

When you mention someone who’s not a part of the BAU, that high disappears instantly

It’s replaced with a cold disinterest in whoever it is you’re speaking about

He tries to manipulate the conversation to see if he can pull more info out of you about the person

He takes advantage of his access to FBI equipment and software to find the person

He makes sure to cover his tracks thoroughly and will not rest until he’s sure any audit trail or history or whatever isn’t linked back to him

When he finds the person’s personal info, he finds himself ‘checking them out’

Will take walks in front of their house, or follow them

Does this for every person who’s not an overt threat

He will, however, drop whatever stalkerish shit he’s doing if you call or text him

If someone does ask you out, or you mention going on a date, or talking to a person of interest, haha

Someone’s going to die

Once Spencer gets the necessary information, he’ll stalk the person out

He might have a conversation with them, profile them, and then talk about their relationship to you

He’s more than likely not strong enough to physically overpower a person of above-average strength, but he’s got the brains to make the odds even

Will create an elaborate plan to get the person to come to him instead

Whenever he does manage to kidnap/isolate the person, he won’t kill them immediately

He’d have a genuine heart-to-heart with them

He’d say you’re his. He’ll say he’s yours, and whoever tries to take you away (be it romantically or otherwise) will be met with a steep response. He’ll say he loves you, and will do anything to be sure you’re with him, and only him

Probably kills the person by slitting their throat. A bullet is too easily identifiable

He’ll comfort you if you’re saddened by your date’s/person of interest’s disappearance

When you hug him, his entire body goes hot

He hugs you tightly (probably a bit too tight)

He verbally comforts you as best he can, and assures you you’ll go on other dates (hopefully with him)

He’ll gently rock you if you’re hugging for a long time

If you pull away first, he’ll try to keep you in the hug, but will let go if you push him away

He’ll let you sleep on him, and he’ll stare at you while you do

He’ll think to himself about how beautiful you are, and how you deserve everything, and how much you deserve him especially

He gets a lot pushier after that, especially when it comes to you getting close with others

Will physically hover closer to you

Will glower at anyone who looks at you a certain way

Will never let you privy to these thoughts and habits and behaviors of his until he’s sure you can handle/accept them

He will definitely try to gaslight you and/or emotionally manipulate you if he thought it’d make you like/trust him more

You’d trust him, most likely. He’s Spencer mf Reid, why wouldn’t you

He wouldn’t psychologically manipulate/abuse you that much, and wouldn’t physically put his hands on you unless he had to

He notices the obsessive and compulsive thoughts calm when he’s around you, so he wants you next to him almost 24/7

Gets very disenchanted and uninterested when you’re not around

The team believes him to be down bad

They think he’s a puppy in love with you and find it adorable

Will mention you often to get him engaged

Sometimes he’ll just push through a case due to the thought of seeing you after

If he gets injured on a case, his first and only thought would be his desire to not die and leave you behind. Anything else comes secondary

If you’re a mother figure, or give off ‘motherly’ vibes, that’ll make this worse

If you initiate any form of physical contact, he will beam

Literally treats you like an actual god(dess) (aside from the occasional emotional manipulation but yk)

[residemon]

I don't know who needs to hear these things, but I know I did at one point.

.

You should never have to change who you are at the core for someone else.

Relationships are about compromise, but you shouldn't be bending over backwards to "change" for your partner while they openly admit they won't put any effort to change/get better themselves because it's "too exhausting."

If you're autistic and/or adhd, you shouldn't be put down and told to change yourself constantly when you show symptoms. I was told I was obnoxious, and that "no one cared" about what I had to say. Among other ableist bs.

Maybe she didn't care. But I know many other people who do care.

Don't change yourself until you don't know who you are anymore. Don't change yourself until you can't regonize yourself in the way you speak. Don't change yourself until you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror.

That's a toxic expectation to put on you.

.

If you tell your partner no to anything, and they keep asking about it over and over until you finally say yes... You didn't give them consent. They just coerced you into something you didn't want to do. That by definition is SA, maybe even more depending on what the thing is.

You always have a right to say no.

I know first hand that it's hard to keep saying no when someone keeps asking you. And it's not your fault if you gave in.

Especially if you make it clear to your partner that you have a hard time saying no to things out right.

.

Trans people can fetishize other trans people. I've experienced this. My ex is a trans woman and she often said and did some very uncomfortable things to me.

She never asked me about what my transition goals were and assumed that I wanted bottom surgery. When I told her I didn't, she told me that she'd never see me as a man if I didn't. When I told her off she backtracked. She stated that she had built up the image of me like that in her mind and it would take a while to undo that image. It was incredibly demeaning and damaging to me.

.

I have screenshots of her doing this. Among the other things I mentioned her doing. I'll always keep them. Not because I want to, but because I'm afraid she'll try and blame me for her own actions as she did before.

No one should have to go through this. And those that have, I'm sorry. I hope you're able to heal from it.

I'm still trying to heal myself. Sometimes I don't recognize myself still. Sometimes I remember what she coerced me into in flashes. It's hard. But I'm healing.

Healing isn't linear. Sometimes there are setbacks, and that's okay. I'm just glad you're still here.

And I care about you. Even if we've never talked or never met.

Take care of yourselves and stay safe.

[muskuna]

it is not fair, you don't deserve it, you just simply don't who the fuck i have to be so you treat me right what the fuck do i have to do

All you have been doing is just hurting me more and more everyday, you make me so fucking sad only if you knew how many times i cut myself because of YOU and nothing else, you make me feel unlovable, unworthy and like im just human trash, everything you say and do makes me crazy and i feel like that because i fucking care about you, you bastard. Everytime i try to tell you how i feel you want me to shut up. I would try to tell you to fuck yourself but i just cant lose you.

[barbaragenova]

"Part of the horror of a toxic relationship is that it’s codependent. You can fight against the strictures of it, but for a while you stay, you compromise, because of your need for love or belonging, or your belief that this person has your best interests at heart, or that you’re responsible for holding them together. A lot of the time there’s no big explosive event that makes things clear, it’s more the building up of a pattern that you’re not even sure you’re seeing correctly. You feel like your intuition is broken, which makes it really hard to make any big decisions. "

[matilda-jugs]

so happy i’m out of my toxic relationship 🥰🥰🥰

[unitedwecaresposts]

The Toxic Relationship: How To Identify And Take Action

It is toxic when you feel unsupported, misunderstood, denigrated, or assaulted in a relationship. It is poisonous when your emotional, psychological, or even bodily well-being is in danger during a relationship.

Individuals grappling with mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, major depression, or depressive tendencies may exhibit increased vulnerability to toxic relationships due to their preexisting sensitivity to negative emotions.

Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship

You feel exhausted and underappreciated because you give more than you receive.

You frequently feel mistreated or as though your needs need to be addressed.

Over time, your self-esteem takes a hit.

You feel assaulted, degraded, misunderstood, or unsupported.

After chatting or spending time with the other person, you experience depression, rage, or fatigue.

It's always your fault, and they reverse events such that mistakes you previously believed they had made are your fault.

Toxic Relationships' Effects

Your self-esteem, general mental health, and physical health may all be seriously harmed by toxic relationships in addition to your physical health. Establishing boundaries, looking for support, and developing a safety plan are critical. 

In addition, you can assist online experts and therapists. United We Care is a reliable application where you can get quality couple therapy or help you get over toxic relationships.

[merlinemryspendragon]

Bridgerton - S3E02 “How Bright the Moon” // S3E03 “Forces of Nature”

[bumblingbabooshka]

I think Sarek and Amanda Grayson both lowkey seeing their children as little experiments in different ways is undeniably bad parenting BUT .... I mean you talk about matching each other's freak .... Like imagine for a second Sarek is like "I am going to show that Humans are just as good as Vulcans by molding this Human child and my half Human son into the perfect Vulcans - This will show that despite what society thinks of as their genetic inferiority, they're just as good as any Vulcan." and Amanda's response to that is to think "Sarek is wrong...Michael's humanity MUST be preserved...so that I can show her all the love and affection I can't show Spock and maybe through their sibling bond all my unspoken and unexpressed love can trickle down to him through her." What are you both DOOOOING!?? You guys are NUTS like PLEASE just TALK to each other and compromise about how you're going to raise your children!! [Love the drama though] So I'm imagining in my head that Sarek is severely pressuring both Spock and Michael to act as perfect Vulcans their entire lives with him or else they're failures not only in his eyes but in all of society's (because he's an ambassador and raising these children is tied irrevocably with his work as such) WHILE Amanda is secretly trying to funnel her humanity and love for Spock through Michael and as such failure to receive, express, or internalize that love is failing not only your mother but also the entire Human race. Damned if you do damned if you don't! Who do you want to disappoint more, kids?

In 'Point of Light' Amanda says that she gave Michael all of the love, joy, and affection which she wasn't "permitted" (we must question the use of the word - what stopped her from directly giving Spock this love? I'm not saying there wasn't pressure for her not to, I'm saying the word 'permitted' absolves her of any personal choice or failing in a way that's interesting to me) to give Spock and though this is on the surface level sweet and probably meant to be interpreted that way, I submit that it must be kind of fucked up to hear that your foster mother was maybe only so kind and caring to you because she felt she wasn't allowed to act that way towards her "real" son. Michael Burnham as a tool for both her parents, however unintentional, is very interesting and I'm not sure it's something canon considers (haven't watched the show, I just like imagining things). The feeling that you have to be grateful to these people for not only being your parents but being YOUR parents. For taking you in and giving you a beautiful life - you have to pay them back, you have to make them especially proud of YOU. Because they didn't HAVE to, did they? Because you're not their "real" child. In the end, it's always Spock - isn't it? The love your mother gives you is Spock's love and if only one child can enter the Vulcan Science Academy then it has to be Spock. You're the appetizer your father serves before the REAL main course and your mother's stuffed doll which represents the thing she REALLY wants to hold and you know they genuinely care about you. That's the worst part. Because you know they care and they didn't mean to hurt you and the voice in the back of your head keeps telling you that any hurt they've dealt you pales in comparison to the debt you owe them and they love you, they love you, they love you, they love you, they love you [repeat as often as need be: remember the debt]

[ace8space]

An Incomplete List: Things I love about RWRB by Casey McQuistion (and what it has taught me)

The tooth-rotting fluff.

The angst.

The happy ending.

The message(s).

The history, in general ("History, huh?").

Greek mythology references.

All the hidden queer stories, specifically.

The plethora of vocab words - extremely helpful to me as a writer.

So. Much. Joy.

Henry's passion for literature. I relate.

Alex's perfectionism. I relate.

The characters as a whole.

Queen.

David Bowie.

The V&A.

Tumblr. Tumblr, tumblr, tumblr.

Bake Off. It's so relaxing...

All the things I understand now thanks to Casey and Matthew and Nick and Taylor (and everyone else).

Love.

The fact that the fandom brought me to Tumblr. (I know I already said this, but I really, really love Tumblr.)

[castleofravens]

tbh as someone with bpd, the way people talk abt fitz makes me feel physically ill like wdym youre inherently toxic because you idolize certain people wdym youre evil because of mere thought patterns wdym there must be no reason for you to be this way youre just a bad person wdym you’re undeserving of love and literally being alive because you feel emotions really strongly

(the issue is that they take these traits he inherently has and says he’s toxic for stuff he can’t control it’s never his behaviors and if it is they blow it way out of proportion??)

also hi don’t use narcissistic psychopath sociopath etc as descriptors for yes even the villains (this part of the post isn’t meant to be really mean, ik that language is normalized but yeah let’s not use mental health language and/or outdated terms in a stigmatizing manner!)

[sl8tersstuff]

I know it won’t hurt so much forever, but I also know that even though it won’t hurt as much; it’ll still last forever.

[deepthoughtsallday]

I think my toxic trait is that I believe I would survive for at least a year if there would be an apocalypse.

[perenlop]

sometimes i think abt that youtuber that said diane nguyen was a dull character in seasons 1-4 of bojack because “shes the character that is the hardest to relate to in the cast because she’s married to a sitcom actor and is a popular ghostwriter, which isnt something many people can say, so to fix her, they needed to let her get divorced and get into a worse financial situation ”

as opposed to the actual sitcom star she married who got the job by wandering into a studio, apparently,

[whitelightremains]

My toxic trait is going on pinterest and thinking I can draw everything

(Traditionally. With graphite pencils. On the spot.)

[sn0w-o]

My toxic trait is whenever I don't like one of my posts, I straight up and delete it