#toxic narcotic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
ONE OF THE MOST STACKED BILLS YOU'VE EVER SEEN -- D-BEAT/ CRUST/ ANARCHO/ GRIND/ POWERVIOLENCE.
PIC INFO: Mega spotlight on a show/gig flyer I've never seen before until now, of the now legendary HELLKRUSHER/ D.I.R.T./ FINAL.WARNING joint U.S. tour, no less, with supporting acts TOXIC NARCOTIC, DEFORMED CONSCIENCE, DROPDEAD, & AUGUST SPIES, performing live at the Middle East club, Cambridge, MA, on Sunday, February 27, 1994.
Sources: www.picuki.com/media/3425294310847678526.
#HELLKRUSHER#D.I.R.T.#HELLKRUSHER UK#D-beat#D-beat Raw punk#Raw punk#Crust#Socio-political hardcore punk#Hardcore punk#DROPDEAD band#Powerviolence#UK punk#DEFORMED CONSCIENCE band#90s hardcore#Anti-war#Punk Art#FINAL WARNING NYC#FINAL WARNING band#TOXIC NARCOTIC#DROPDEAD#Anarcho#UK crust#90s punk#D.I.R.T. band#Crust punk#Anarcho punk#Graphic Design#1994#Socio-political punk#UK crust punk
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
#Imagine what a fuckin show.........#uploads#d.r.i.#dirty rotten imbeciles#toxic narcotic#acid bath#august spies#metal#hardcore punk
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know some of the disbelief from others with my disabilities is having GiRL iLLnEsSeS. Dudes don't get those things. Fibro and ME/CFS since you were a teenager? No that's something a 40 year old woman blogs about. Probably as a front to promote essential oils. You go to the doctors? What are you gay or something? (Yes but that is irrelevant)
I feel like the assumptions from others must be so different, as if the disorders I have aren't humiliating enough. Looks like someone's a little more intoxicated than he could handle. Looks like someone in the ER is drug seeking. Wow this guy is such a wimp, it can't be that bad
Doesn't help that I use weed and opioids for the symptoms- people will pin it on that especially because the reality of my disabilities is much more uncomfortable. I've had a family member dramatically sob because "oh my God if you weren't a pothead you could have a job and be productive. What has this substance turned you into?" Idk someone in a little less pain who can stomach a meal sometimes?
#dw im cautious when i take things like weed and narcotics#bc yeah it can slow your heart rate. i take a lot of things that interact#so I'm careful with it. you have to be#chronic pain#chronic illness#disability#fibromyalgia#cfs#chronic fĐ°tiguĐ” ŃŃndrĐŸmĐ”#actually disabled#spoonie#me/cfs#cfs/me#long covid#toxic masculinity
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
Town: Y3ReeX0 Hood: Machinerion House: Schoolery
Although never really considered fun or enjoyable, in the past Schoolery felt just like your generic school that you have to spend a few hours a day to be free again, giving value to your free time.
Now it feels like it has trapped everybody in its invisible yet everpresent structure, including the lectors and teachers themselves - and everyone is just following some deeply ingrained patterns without a real ability or willpower to change them or at least get aware of it. Its doctrine is also a sinister mixture of pointless productivity and forced positivity, giving it an even more nauseating, burned out vibe.
#Schizoverse#Schizonautics#Y3ReeX0#NotAI#Not AI#Human Art#Burnout#Psychonautics#Loss of Motivation#Pointlessness#Narcotic Art#LSD#Kratom#Modafinil#Machinerion#Schoolery#Productive Dream#Hustle Culture#Toxic Positivity
0 notes
Note
What is your muse like (or would be like) when they're high? Happy 4/20!
â This 's probably a fuckin' SHOCK, but - I don't do drugs. â He'd been told quite a few times that he looked like a 'crack head'. Probably because he was so skinny, huh? He was pretty sure even Kyota had said that about him at one point. But no - Nnoitra had never done drugs. There were multiple reasons for this. The number one reason was his allergy to cigarette smoke. It had put him off ever trying to smoke something. He simply couldn't breathe in smoke. It made him feel like he was going to suffocate. He made a mental note that, if he ever wanted to off himself for real, that might be a good way to do it. Why hadn't he done needle-shots or tablets? Nnoitra actually had no desire to be ' high '. Sure, he'd heard that it could be a fun experience, and some people liked to use it as an escape from reality. Nnoitra sure would LIKE to ' escape reality '. He just didn't believe he'd be able to run away from his life. His life would be just as shitty, even if he was so drugged out of his mind that he didn't know about it. Then there was... His paranoia. Nnoitra didn't even like to get drunk in public, because he needed his reflexes to be on-point. He already had a limited field of vision because of his missing eye. What if someone tried to attack him? He wanted to be able to fight back. Like hell he was going to let someone catch him off-guard (again). YET ANOTHER reason why he hadn't done drugs? That shit was expensive. A good portion of his life, Nnoitra had been really poor.
The only time Nnoitra had been high was when he was high on morphine after he got shot in the head. He... Didn't really remember much about that. Because of the swelling in his brain, he had had major memory-loss during that time. Hell, he had even forgotten about Grimmjow for a while. So, he actually had no idea what he'd be like if he was on drugs. Did he want to find out? Not really. He wasn't going to run away from his life. He wasn't some pussy ass bitch.
#[ thank you for the ask anon! ]#[ it took me a while to answer bc i was wondering which verse to answer it in ]#[ decided on main verse bc i don't think nnoi can get high in canon ]#[ or he'd definitely do drugs xD ]#[ but i also know that a lot of narcotics are VERY toxic to insects so - ]#[ he's PROBABLY allergic ]#[ like he is to smoke ]#[ ANYWAYS thank you for sending! :D ]#despair for me. â± in character.#burn the city. â± main verse.#talking shit. â± answers.#drugs mention //#drug mention //#needle mention //#gun mention //#hospital mention //#deathwish //
0 notes
Text
The poison garden of Alnwick Castle in Northumberland, England. Behind these menacing looking black iron gates of this medieval castle is a garden filled exclusively with hundreds of toxic, intoxicating, and narcotic plants where visitors are explicitly told not to stop and smell the flowers.
source: Abandoned World .
516 notes
·
View notes
Text
The bikers princess | Prologue
After another point John adds to the list why you should leave him, you finally do it to move on without your abusing ex-boyfriend.
âââââââââââ ââ
â âââââââââââ
Pairing -> Biker!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Wordcount -> 1.698 Words
Warnings -> abusive (ex-)boyfriend, slapping, toxic relationship, cheating, mention of oral (m!rec) and anal sex, mention of sexual content tends toward non/dub-con, mention of narcotic, no Bucky yet
Events -> AFG AU Bingo B5 Biker AU @anyfandomaubingo
@holylulusworld here is your most hated part of the story probablyâŠđđ
Series Masterlist
âââââââââââ ââ
â âââââââââââ
âYou really think youâre clever, bitch?â John asks with a devilish laugh and narrows his eyes. His body is pressed tight against yours, his hands are on both sides of your shoulders, and you can feel his warm breath on your face.
John has trapped you between the wall and his body since you tried to discuss with him once again. He told you not to discuss with him, but you did it anyway, so you have to accept the consequences when you disobey your boyfriend. A soft whimper leaves your lips, your eyes watering as you look up into his eyes. His expression is cold, and his jaw clenches while you start to shake underneath his instance gaze.
Youâre not crying because he abuses you â youâre already too used to it to cry about it. But this time, he gave you another reason to leave him. Even though you often tried to leave him â even though he gave you so many reasons to leave him already â he always made it clear that youâre nothing without him, you need him, and he is the only man who wants someone like you.
At some point in your relationship with John, you started to believe what he said. That he loves you and that everything he does is for you, that no other man would treat you like him â you were so in love with him that you thought that he treats you well enough for someone who just wants the best for their partner. And no other man was ever looking at you like he does â at least in moments he isnât looking with disgust in his eyes at you.
And you loved him so much that he told you something, and you thought it was right because it was John who said that. Itâs not that youâre stupid; you were just in love, and you still have a kind of feeling around him. Even though you try to pretend itâs love, you know deep down that the feelings you have are nothing but the realization that the whole relationship with him was nothing but toxic.
Maybe you already knew that it was toxic, but you never had an opportunity to get out of the relationship anyway, so you just tried to make the best of it and let him âloveâ you.
But this time he messed up once again; cheating was something he hadnât done before â or at least that's what you thought because you never found out before. You confronted him with that; little did you know that he was going to freak out like that and trap you between him and the wall, with his expression cold and his eyes filled with disgust and anger.
âJohn, I accepted a lot already. But you cheated on me,â you mumble, flinching as he chuckles darkly and leans his forehead against yours. In the past, he did that often to act like he wanted to apologize, then stepped backwards, and within a second, he was already turning around to let his hand fly across your cheek in a painful slap.
âI love you; you know that. But you made me cheat on you,â he says, shrugging as he leans back before taking a step backwards. A big, dark smile crosses his face, and you shiver, but to your surprise, he hasn't hit you yet. His hand reaches out, and you immediately flinch and cause him to roll his eyes. Instead of hitting you, he grasps your chin harshly and tilts your head up, so you have to look into his eyes. âBlame yourself for giving me a reason to cheat on you. I wanted to fuck that prett ass of yours, and you said no. So I fucked someone who allowed me to do that, but I thought the whole time about you while I fucked her. So it wasn't cheating, just using someone elseâs hole. Plus, her little whine wasn't as sweet as yours, but her ass was good; still, no cheating because I thought about you instead of her.â
âJohn, please,â you say quietly, trying to turn your face, but his grip on your chin is too tight. âYou cheated on me, and I won't try to be that little housewife you want.â
Johnâs expression hardens; he takes another step backwards and removes his hand from your chin. But before you can move an inch, his palm already connects with your cheek, causing him to chuckle low. Before you even feel the pain on your skin, you already hear the sound of his hand smacking your cheek and ringing in your ears. Tears well up in your eyes, the pain on your skin not even as bad as the one in your soul â he breaks you until he has you where he wants you, his little housewife, and you know, as well as him, that he is on the perfect way to get what he wants.
âFucking whore! You think you can make the rules in this house? Try again, and I will show you who makes the rules here. Now, get on your fucking knees and beg me to accept your apology, slut,â he grumbles, staring at you and motioning his hand for you to get on your knees.
You know better than to discuss with John. You slowly slide down the wall until your knees hit the floor, and a dark laugh leaves your boyfriendâs throat. That's where you belong if it comes to his opinion, on your knees in front of him, obeying him, and being just his pretty little housewife. Whoever he wants, you would have to accept it, but unfortunately for him, there is still some work to get you into your place.
John loves to degrade you, to make you look small and feel weak compared to him â just like a whore for him. And he knows that he gets what he wants because if you don't obey him, he will make you.
When the two of you started dating, he was a sweet and gentle man, but after moving in with him and making sure youâre dependent on him, he started to treat you badly. First, it was just him being mean when his friends came over; he treated you like you're just a whore and have to do whatever he says â so you often made food and drinks for them. But with time, he got more aggressive during sex and even in situations where your behavior wasn't the one he wanted you to have. And that all led to him starting to shout and hit you.
Every attempt of leaving him behind or trying to discuss with him ended with you naked over his knees, his hand landing on your ass with such force that you couldn't sit for days. And after he apologized, he also told you that it was your fault. So he basically apologized for you being 'such a stupid whore who disobeyed him, and he had to punish you for thatâ.
Not even the make-up sex is worth his behavior because he never fucks you, so you would have pleasure too â it's just about him and his pleasure. âMake yourself come; I won't help you after your misbehavingâ. So you either make yourself come or feel unsatisfied after the sex the two of you have.
John made the compromise that you can stop discussing with him when he says stop. You have only to beg him on your knees for forgiveness; if you do so, he won't punch some sense into you. If you discuss further with him, he will punish you for disobeying or disrespecting your boyfriend â but at some point, John started to use everything as an excuse to make you beg for his forgiveness, or he just punished you for the smallest mistake you make. Even though you donât do anything, he has his own unwritten rules, and in case you think you could be in charge, he makes sure that he shows you that he is the only one in charge in the house.
So you sit on your knees on the ground, your boyfriend towering above you with a devilish grin on his lips and dark eyes. His fingers make their way into your heart, pull at your hair, and make you look up at him. âNow, say sorry, or you will have to accept the consequences of your misbehavior.â
And you do as you're told, begging him to forgive you, which ended with you sucking his cock and him fucking your ass as an apology that he had to cheat on you before you were willing to do as youâre told. Luckily, you got some time for yourself when he took a shower before he wanted you to be in the kitchen and make food.
The kitchen turned into the safe place of your house at some point. Whenever you have to do dishes or make food, he is either busy working or playing with his friends, so he wonât come into the kitchen unless you call him. And it gives you a lot of time to think about a lot of opportunities to escape him, to run as far as you can before he notices it.
Tonight is the night you finally plan to run. While John was on a business trip, you went shopping, the only activity where he allowed you to go out. The house has cameras everywhere, so you don't have many options to go out without him freaking out. When you went shopping, you placed your phone in a restaurant; if he tracks you, it looks like you're shopping, and while your phone was placed there, you took the train a few cities away to look for a new apartment â and there you are, having an apartment, still enough money â to move away from him â on a bank account John doesn't know about. You even got some narcotics, mixing them into the food, to be finally able to leave John behind and live a life you love and find friends and maybe even someone who will love you â someone who will really love you.
Chapter One ->
//Taglist// @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @loki-laufeyson68 @winterschildren8 @bxtchboy69 @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @im-alestan @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @lives-in-midgard @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing @blackhawkfanatic @fanfictionreaderfan @multiversefanfics @angelbabyyy99 @looking1016 @aphrodite-xoxo @fanfictionreaderfan @iris-xoxo-juhu
//Series Taglist// (let me know if you want to be tagged) @sapphirebarnes
#bikers princess b.b#james bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x yn#biker bucky barnes x fem reader#biker!bucky barnes x you#biker bucky barnes x you#biker!bucky barnes#biker bucky#james barnes x reader#james barnes x y/n#james barnes x you#bucky x reader fanfiction#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x female reader#bucky x fem reader#bucky x fem!reader#bucky x female yn#bucky x f!reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky x yn
219 notes
·
View notes
Text
Toxic Narcotic
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
UK CRUSTGRIND + BOSTON CRUST/ HARDCORE + SLUDGE/DOOM METAL -- ALL FOR ONLY $7."
PIC INFO: Spotlight on a show/gig/punk flyer for EXTREME NOISE TERROR + TOXIC NARCOTIC + GRIEF, live at the Rat (venue shut down 2 years later), Boston, Massachusetts, on Monday July 10, 1995.
Source: https://massachusettspunkflyers.neocities.org/therat.
#EXTREME NOISE TERROR#Crustgrind#TOXIC NARCOTIC band#GRIEF band#Sludge/DOOM Metal#UK crust punk#Crust punk#Grindcore#Punk flyers#Show flyers#Gig flyers#Sludge Metal#DOOM Metal#90s hardcore#Crust#Hardcore punk#Sludge/DOOM#90s#DOOM#Punk gigs#ExNxTx#1995#Sludge#GRIEF#Sludge DOOM Metal#UK crust#Boston hardcore#90s punk#ENT#Boston punk
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Care and comfort
â Yandere!bonten x motherly!reader (platonic)
â Summary: you were just trying to help someone and you ended up being the obsession of a criminal organization
â Warnings: obsession, stalking, toxic behaviors, kidnapping, slight mention of drugs and stuff related
Part two / Part three / Part four / Part five
You turned on the light in your kitchen, almost tripping over one of the stools because your eyes were still half closed, you had fallen asleep correcting the last report that the newspaper where you worked had sent you. You had noticed that you hadn't even had dinner before, so you made a quick meal before heading back to work, but before you could touch your laptop you heard a crash at the front door, as if someone had collapsed and slammed against it.
It's not that you lived in one of the worst areas of the city, but it was strange that something happened in the wee hours of the morning, you walked slowly, opening the door, or trying to, because the body of a man was blocking the entrance, a few minutes of struggle was enough for the unconscious body to fall to the other side, leaving you to open the door completely and contemplate the man.
He had one of those mullets that were fashionable among young people, several earrings, some scars on his mouth and stains of what appeared to be vomit and blood, okay, you did not want to interfere with anyone who seemed to be a drug addict, but on second thought, it was better to help the man than to have to give statements to the police as to why there was a dead body at your door.
You dragged him home and laid him on the couch, laying him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own vomit if he ever did, though after further scanning you decided he needed a good shower. You did not feel self-conscious in doing this job, you are of an age and you have worked in many things, among them you had a position taking care of the elderly, all kinds of care being more specific, so no, you did not feel uncomfortable having to wash this man.
You changed his clothes and put his striped suit in the wash, leaving him back on the sofa, you continued with your work, reading and quickly correcting the errors you found, the night passed quite quickly and you fell asleep once you were completely done your work, sending it to the head of the newspaper.
The next morning you woke up with a gun pointed at your temple and that man's pretty eyes staring back at you, good way to start the day indeed.
"Who the hell are you?"
"Are you young people these days so ungrateful? It was you who passed out on the doorstep of my house at two in the morning."
He lowered the gun, seeming to remember some parts of his night, he sat still a little bewildered and with his head elsewhere because of the drugs taken yesterday, he looked at you in silence now noticing his change of clothes as well as the smell of his hair, it was not the smell of his usual shampoo.
"Did you�"
"Yes, oh, don't be ashamed, it's been a long time since I stopped being interested in that kind of thing, at a certain age the only thing one looks for is economic stability and peace of mind, are you going to stay for lunch?"
He blinked contemplating your calm form, he didn't know if he was still under the pressure of narcotics, but he didn't reject your proposal, Sanzu was anything but embarrassing, however he felt like a little boy next to you being cared for by the mother he never had.
For your part, he was not the first brat you helped, you had married friends, with grown children or adolescents who did not stop getting into small problems, you acted like the aunt who drinks wine and criticizes everyone at family gatherings, for your attitude, they found it easier to access you when they had problems they didn't want your friends âtheir momsâ to know about, you always had their backs unless it was something that was detrimental to their health, then you wouldn't hesitate to call your friends to give their children a lecture, even as adults.
That same attitude was the one that made Sanzu visit you more often than he would like to admit, although most of the times he left scolded for coming home drunk or drugged, you never closed the door on him, how could you? You weren't heartless enough to leave him lying in the street when he came desperately asking for help with some of his hallucinations.
Your kindness led him to an obsession towards you, you were like his little lifeboat, his conscious part about all the madness in which he was involved, he began to watch you from afar, observing your interactions with strangers and friends, it bothered him, it bothered him that you were just as kind to others as you were to him, he wanted all your attention just for him. He was also worried about you, he had seen the worst part of the rotten world in which he lived, someone with a soft heart like you could not survive against the predators of this society.
Of course, Bonten executives were not stupid, usually most of them lived in the headquarters, they had private properties where they spent a few days or weeks, but most of the time they were in that headquarter, especially Sanzu, that's why they started to noticing his absence more and more, it's not like he had to explain himself to anyone âexcept if Mikey asked him toâ but his behavior was strange, didn't he arrive drugged? It seemed like a bad joke, clothes without a bloodstain? he was definitely doing something outside their radar.
Not that the others cared much, but the Haitani brothers were a bit nosy, like gossips who want to know why their partner seems happier when he comes back in the morning after a night of 'fun'. They discussed it a couple of times with the others when Sanzu wasn't around, and they all agreed that his behavior was unusual, so they began to investigate what he did in his leisure.
This led to an ordinary person like you being watched by two executives of the largest criminal organization in the country. At first they thought that you were a whore with whom he had fallen in love, but investigating more about you, they discovered that you were a lady with an established daily life, there was nothing about you that stood out and yet you seemed so interesting.
"Sanzu please, I need to finish correcting this report, I promise you that later you can have all the hugs you want."
"No."
He tightened his grip on your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck, you were trying to do your job but Sanzu found your hugs too comforting after you once found him crying âfrom being druggedâ, killing people leaves obstacles in any person and as much as he loved it, certain deaths of innocent people always ended up flying over his thoughts like ghosts that tormented him from time to time.
The sound of the doorbell made you stop typing, moving the man slightly away to go to open, you were not expecting a visitor which was strange to you, Sanzu felt a chill when you opened the door, meeting the eyes of the youngest of the Haitani directly, he got up quickly without even letting you ask what those guys wanted, he pulled you back before Ran could drag you with him.
"What the fuck are you two doing here?"
"Make sure you don't have too much fun, are you so in love that you forget the meetings?"
They started a little discussion while you looked blankly, you and Rindou looked at each other in silence while the other two talked, you greeted with a brief nod, thinking they were Sanzu's coworkers.
Luckily just when the discussion was getting more heated, a 'ding' coming from the oven threw everyone off concentration, taking advantage of this you got out of the man's strong grip, walking towards the kitchen to see that the cookies you had been working on before were ready.
"There are plenty of cookies for everyone, Sanzu you can invite your friends."
"They are not my friends!"
"That's very kind of you, we'd love to meet our friend's friend."
So you ended up having lunch with the three men in an awkward silence between them, due to the tension of which you preferred not to take into account, Ran and Rindou were quite nice and understood that you were not a love interest, nor did you want it, nor did you seek it. Alarm bells of boys without a mother figure going off again, of course you caught their interest more than before, they knew your background but not your personality, and they ended up falling into that obsession towards you, as if there was something that made them gravitate towards you, was it because of your simplicity? for your kind words? They didn't know it, but they were jealous that Sanzu could snuggle up against you and they would have to keep more of their distance.
Now you had three of Bonten's executives constantly visiting your house, whether it was asking you for small favors or advice on nonsense to asking you to make them cookies or food in general, they just desperately wanted your attention, like babies crying out for their mother.
This cycle of obsession only made the others begin to suspect that they were up to something, whether it was harmful to Bonten or not, Takeomi was the first to notice, Kokonoi the same, he noticed how the brothers spent a certain amount of money, which they didn't used to do that often, followed by Kakucho, Mochizuki and lastly Mikey.
So it led you to be kidnapped by Mochi after doing enough research on you, because they didn't take much notice of it at first when the brothers first noticed. You were tied hand and foot, a blindfold was removed after consciousness returned to you, you found yourself face to face with a man with immense dark circles and eyes full of lifeless, on his right side another man with a large scar on his face, on his left side another man with a small scar on his left eye.
You felt something cold touching your temple, again you had a gun pointed at you, held by the same boy who had kidnapped you, you turned your head also noticing another man with long white hair.
"Who are you and why do you have my executives after you?"
"Executives�" you looked at everyone carefully, connecting the dots when you saw their tattoos "Oh- so that's why they never wanted to tell me what they worked for⊠are you some kind of organization? Like arms smuggling, money laundering or something?"
You took the situation calmly, that your life was hanging by a thread right now was not one of your biggest concerns, you had lived a full and happy life up to now, you had no regrets, you were mature enough to understand the point at which you were, the more the years go by, the less afraid you are of the things that used to terrify you when you were young.
"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY MOTHER!"
Everyone was surprised to see how Sanzu entered kicking Mochizuki so that the weapon flew out of his hands, away from you, the Haitani brothers followed closely untying you quickly while all those men had a discussion of looks, the dense silence was broken by your giggle, you were trying to control yourself as much as you could but it was impossible.
"My God, Sanzu, you just called me mom!?"
The boy's face was completely dyed in pink tones, all the attention was now focused on you while you let out a laugh at the slip that your child had, something made the hearts of others clench in pain when they heard your laugh, no matter how bad it sounded, whether it was asthmatic, uproarious, or silent laughter, it was like real music to the ears of all the executives at Bonten, including the leader. As if you had flipped a switch in the mind of their rotten minds, they now had a new interest in you, as if you had further triggered an obsession you were unaware of with the first three you met.
They began to understand why those three felt attracted to you, it was as if your mere presence was intoxicating for them, as if just listening to you or looking at you calmed their broken hearts, many alarms from boys without a mother figure, of course that was a triggering reason, all these men longed for that kind of love that they could hardly experience.
Now you had the criminal organization after you, not in a bad way, more like a bunch of men acting childishly because of your limited attention. One thing they were clear about without the need to speak, you were not going to leave their sight for a single moment from now on.
#tokyo revengers x reader#reader inser#fem reader#platonic reader#yandere platonic#bonten#bonten x reader#sanzu#mochi#mikey#ran#rindou#haitani#kakucho#kokonoi#motherly reader#yandere bonten x reader#yandere platonic bonten x reader#old reader
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Samuel Seo x Reader: my only one
G/N. Soft. Sort of follow up to this. Post 1A reunion.
A lot of people say a lot of things.Â
Broken promises and empty words; false platitudes that mean nothing.
One night under the stars, the cityscape of Seoul sprawled as far as the eye can see, lips loosening after too much wine -Â you said you would always be there for him.
Samuel responds with silence, taking a drag on his cigarette instead. Letting the smoke swirl on his tongue and settle into his lungs.
It's poison. Would only kill him in the end, yet often it feels like the only time he can truly breathe.Â
The only saving grace is his dependency lessens the longer he is with you.Â
Youâre now his breath of fresh air, his shot of clarity through the fog.
Youâre his antidote, of sorts. Drawing all the poison to the surface, ready to be released. But when toxicity is all Samuel has ever known, how can he live any other way?
He thinks your kindness and sweetness will inevitably suffocate and choke him.
He thinks you really might be the death of him.
.
.
A lot of people say a lot of things.
Words are cheap. Still, your words hold a weight, a priceless value that can't be diminished.
That circles the edges of his consciousness, piercing through the cocktail of narcotics pumping through his body as he lays on the mad doctor's bed.Â
It's your voice that he hears, forcing moments of lucidity.
Gives him a chance of redemption and for freedom.
.
.
Samuel says a lot of things.Â
Wears a different mask for each of his different audiences, whatever is needed to get ahead.
Except he feels it dropping each moment he spends by your side. The 'I love yous' and 'I miss yous' he has never meant more than when it's spoken to you.
The mask slips entirely when he returns. Cracked completely, all his vulnerabilities and flaws on show.
"I've missed you," Samuel says as you cry tears of relief in his arms.
Weeks had passed since he disappeared. Since he kissed you goodbye as you felt a pit in the bottom of your stomach and then he didn't return.
"I love you," Samuel murmurs into your hair, and he knows you are the only one that will ever make him feel like this.Â
#still fixing him#lookism#lookism headcanons#lookism x reader#lookism hc#lookism manhwa#lookism webtoon#samuel seo x reader#samuel seo#seo seongeun#seo seongeun x reader#lookism fic#lookism fanfic#wannaeatramyeon
218 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fool Me Once â Dr. Gregory House x F!Reader (Part I)
Hello! This is my first Gregory House fic, I've been truly obsessed with this old man recently. No warnings for this chapter (edit: mention of pill abuse), but I will list full work warnings below.
Word Count: 789
Content Warnings: Angst, implied/referenced drug use & addiction, eventual smut, swearing, graphic depictions of medical gore
Next Part: N/A
           Â
The pills hadnât been in Houseâs system for a few daysâ he would have to rebuild his Vicodin tolerance again. Nothing like a âV-Breakâ to get the same hazy punch as beforeâ the name could use some work, though. House lazily looked at you through heavily-lidded eyes, his head dipping to the side to look at his own vitals on the small monitor to the right of his bedside.
            You had only been on Houseâs diagnostic team for a few days when he collapsed in the middle of a briefing. His toxicity screen showed a spike in narcotic levels, and you flushed his system while he was out. He argued that it was doing more harm than good, but you replaced the chemical with comfort medications until he had clean blood. Once it ran clear, and he was no longer dyingâ you practically spoon-fed his Vicodin right to him.Â
            Maybe it was the sympathyâ no, empathyâ of being a former addict. Maybe it was the fact that you hated seeing House detoxing. Maybe it was because you knew how sick he must have felt. Whatever it wasâ it triumphed over any nobility you held as a doctor as you placed three white pills into Houseâs shaking hands with a reassuring smile.Â
            House looked at you with an almost frazzled gaze, dry-swallowing the pills as if you were going to snatch them away if he took too long. You sat on a stool by Houseâs side, holding a small styrofoam cupâs straw to his lips. He gratefully sipped, a soft whistling coming from the lid as House greedily gulped down the frigid water. He gave you a nod, as if to say ïżœïżœïżœthank youâ without the words ever leaving his mouth. You only nodded in response.
            House asked for your name, a raspy request given between sips and wheezes. You gave it to him, although skeptical he didnât know the name of the newest hire on his teamâ House was a very thorough man in his decisions. He gave you a lazy grin, giggling to himself and eventually drifting off. At least the pills did what you hoped, giving House some much-needed rest. He looked so much more peaceful like thatâ no longer sporting a leaping forehead vein, teeth no longer baredâ he looked at ease. Like he wasnât in any pain.
            After several torturous hoursâ the ones that bled into days, which crashed down into weeksâ House was cleared to return to work . . . although he technically never left, and was sure to remind everyone of such knowledge. He walked circles around his bed with a newfound vigor, having just replenished his fix for the morning. Houseâs limp was barely noticeable when he first dosed, and you were consistent in tracking how his decreased mobility affected his mood by the end of the day.Â
            The truth was, you were used to Houseâ but you were not accustomed to sober Houseâ the version of himself that he hid away until he could take time off work. The persona that House barely allowed to see the light of day if unnecessary. The facade that reminded House too much of his father in a certain light.Â
            You didnât blame himâ you used to be the same wayâ although he didnât know that much from your file. He treated you like some brown-nosing geek, saving his life to look good in front of the new boss. House didnât understand why someone would fight so hard to save him, and then hand him the pills that almost killed him in the same breath. You didnât quite understand it eitherâ maybe it was the words Wilson muttered by Houseâs bedside when he was still in a perpetual coma.
âI canât lose you yetâ fight it.âÂ
            Maybe it was the pang of hurt you felt at the sight of him when he awokeâ dripping with sweat, pale, scratching at his own intravenous drip to make himself feel something other than the pounding of his head and the bile in his belly. Whatever it wasâ the semblance spoke to you well enough to place his own killer into his discolored palms.Â
            It was worth it, the way Houseâs gaze lit upâ he angled his head to the ceiling tiles and hastily, shakily swallowed the pills without any consideration. You almost took pity on himâ that was, until he commented on your bust in your top. You smacked him with his own file, grateful to have the version of House you had come to know up and running againâ regardless of how annoying that version may be. Your help remained unspoken, but in the following weeks, some distant glances and singled-out tasks would bring any tension to a head.Â
116 notes
·
View notes
Text
of beskar and kyber {chapter 17}
Pairing: Din Djarin x Force Sensitive! Reader (the Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader)
Summary: Din Djarin is not a remorseful man. Everything he's done, he's done for a reason. But he finds himself in an internal struggle as he tears through the galaxy for traces of you.
Word Count: 10.3k
Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical fighting, use of narcotics, use of drugs, reader gets drugged, reader gets kidnapped, reader gets tied up, kidnapping, controlling parent, toxic parent / child relationship, toxic parent / child dynamic, din has a lot of feelings, din reflects on his time spent with reader, death, minor character death, infectious thoughts, negative feelings, feelings of inadequacy, issues with intimacy, religious guilt, feelings of religious obligation, religious contemplation, so much guilt for our tin man, violence, derogative language, insinuations of sexual favors, a few instances of shouting, din loses his hold on reality (1) time, references to past instances of self-harm, references to past instances of suicidal ideations, let me know if i missed anything please!
A/N: an all din pov chapter, baby! who's ready for ten thousand words on how this man feels? this was a fun different way to approach the story and i rather liked it even if i am afraid to post it. there are so many different interpretations of din that are all so great, and while this is my personal one for the character in my fic, i'm still worried about how it'll be received
ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi
âMother, please.â You begged, voice absolutely wrecked. Desperation settled in your gut, making you dizzy and nauseous. The illness of it was debilitating even through the hum of drugs waning in your system. Sobs were wracking your body, exploding from your ribcage in painful bursts. You struggled against the cuffs on your wrists, the cuffs around your ankles, rotating them in hopes of finding weakness but they were strong. But they were made of beskar, strong and programmed to shock you should you jostle them too much. Using the culture of the very people who had meant salvation now for damnation. She had made sure they would hold you this time.
She just sat there, watching you from the chair by the door. Long hair pulled up into a knot atop her head, blue tunic and black trousers flowing and clean. Her hands clasped in front of her, resting her chin against them as her eyes took in the slump of your form across the small room. You were on the ground, legs numb from the hard, unforgiving stone underneath you. Boots removed and down to nothing but your simple clothing. She had taken the pendant from you, the one Din had gifted you in the wake of your confession to losing the one from Akiz. It glinted over her own chest, visible where she allowed it to drape over the front of her collar.
âPlease. I donât want to be here. I want to go back to the ship. I want to go home.â
âOh no, my darling, you wonât be going anywhere near that disgusting ship again. That Mandalorian has caused enough damage, stealing you away after taking your fob. I still had to pay the Guild fee for your bounty. Credits you know we didnât have in the first place.â She paused, her hands clasped together, elbows on her knees, and she leaned forward to rest her hand atop them. A wicked smile overtook her as she eyed you across the room.
âLuckily, I found someone who was willing to cover the cost and offer to take you as their wife. Theyâve put a lot of energy and credits into helping locate you. They will be here in two daysâ time to collect you.â
She looked almost mournful at the idea of you leaving so soon after reuniting. Of sharing you with another after claiming to do everything she had ever done to you out of protection.
âBut he swore to protect you from any threats, from the Mandalorians that seem to be obsessed with owning you, harnessing your power to help them crawl from the cracks of the universe they ran to hide in when their planet was destroyed. This man, heâs from a very important royal line that is deeply rooted in the New Republic.â
âThe New Republic is a joke, they canât even keep their own soldiers happy, let alone protect anyone.â
âHush now, darling.â She got up and the black tin she kept in her pocket flashed in her hand. You began thrashing even more so, tears cascading down your cheeks as she approached you. The click of the tin opening sent you back to every other time you had heard that sound in your life, eyes going wide and your breath left you as if you had been hit square in the chest. âThe time will fly by with this dose and then weâll be off to our new home.â
Heâd been searching the city for days.
Despite the thrumming of pain through his head, his vision blurring, and the helmet resting too heavy on the now soft, new skin that was his injury. Tender fingers carefully spraying bacta and skin itching as the tissue tried to heal with its aid. He wished for your smaller hands to be the one caring for him, but he was alone. Alone with a fussing child that was beginning to use his powers to get his feelings across since he was still learning how to talk and use his little voice.
Not taking any time to rest, instincts telling him something was wrong, that something had happened. You wouldnât just run off, even with what had occurred. At leastâŠnot for this long. He hoped. HeâŠhoped.
Stalking through the various casinos and cantinaâs, searching for any traces of you to be found. Even in the hectic atmospheres of the racetracks and brothels, of seedier bars and establishments you may have ducked into or been taken to by the force of whoever had stolen you away. Snatched you from whatever you had sought out to calm yourself.
He sat in front of the tracking fob given to him when he first took the job to return you to your mother for hours. Set it atop the control panels in the cockpit, helmet removed and head in his hands as he contemplated turning the device back on. He had scoured the hotels and seedier hostels with it in his grip, to no avail.
It was as if you had simply vanished.
Your smiles and laughter, soft sighs and teasing quips a figment of his imagination.
Made up in the loneliness that accompanied the type of life he led. Missions, jobs, hunting, tracking, trading in criminals and runaways for next to nothing, refueling the ship and hitting the ground running again, taking to the air and space again. And again, and again. He didnât realize how tired and monotonous it had all become, despite the thrill of his skills proofing to be elite time and time again. He didnât realize how much he had been missing out on until you threw it all off track. Deliver the goods and credits to the covert, ensure they were safe and protected, collect another job, hunt, track, kill, injure, collect. Broke the routine he had been so accustomed to with an utterance of his dying language. Rolling off your tongue with precision.
It had been striking. You had been striking and he had torn you down in a way he never wanted to, unintentionally with a fumbling lack of words. It was maddening, to search for days to find no trace of you anywhere.
There was no indication you ever existed aside from those left behind on his ship. The mug of caf sweetened with sugar and powdered milk at the table, the pack of your cigarras you always insisted on smoking outside while it was docked, the crate with your tools and materials used to make armor, the neat and organized labels you had applied to everything within the panels. The room he had set up for youâŠ.though you often split your time between his own and the hammock still hung up in the hold space.
He had left it all untouched, too afraid to erase the pieces of evidence that you were real. That you had been aboard his ship. That you had been trying to connect with him and he stumbled over his words so badly he made you feel unwanted on such a level that made you run.
Like the acts between you two had just been him seeking out pleasure with no real intent other than that behind them. The thought that you mustâve felt like he was just like every other person who had ever used you made his stomach turn and bile burn in his throat. Only his ploys had been steeped in honey and saccharine promises. He had frozen, the words he wanted to whisper to you lost in the panic of the moment, of wanting exactly what you were asking for. It had all been so overwhelming. It had been so real, felt so real, and it had been a jarring realization.
That he had wanted to remove his helmet and give into your request.
Despite the Creed he swore his life to. Despite the commitment he had made to you that would allow for him to do so in time.
But now it was too little too late.
After the third day, he was beginning to think you werenât merely taking some time to yourselfâŠ
Maybe he was foolish to think he hadnât messed up so monumentally that you had found a way off world and run even further from him. But he knew you werenât the type of person to do that. To him, to adâika.
Burcâya. Friend.
Ner karâta. My heart.
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. I love you.
Vencuyot riduur. Future husband.
You wouldnât have run from him to that degree, loyal and devoted. Loving and caring, kind hearted at the very core of who you were. Even despite the tragedies and ill-natured things you had been subjected to in your life. Good. Too good, for someone like him.
He was beginning to think something had happened.
But without the aid of your communication, vambraces still set atop the makeshift table along with your main bag and armor, he had no way of knowing for sure. Just the niggling feeling in his gut that was burrowing deeper by the second.
He sent a transmission to Karga, asking if there was any news of your arrest before deeming the planet a lost cause and raising the ramp. He took the Crest up up up and into the air, helmet scouring the shrinking planet all the while, feeling an ache in his heart that he didnât think he would ever get used to.
He had to push through, he had to focus. You needed someone to help you, wherever you had gone or been taken. You needed him to find you. He needed to find you.
Adâika had been in a constant flux from eerily silent to wailing as loud as his little lungs would allow, wide eyes brimming with tears the longer you were gone. Din had taken to wrapping the child up in the cloak he had bought you, securing it with the metallic flower latches and laying him down in the cot alongside him. Never sleeping, only laying down intermittently to pass the time. Rest evading him as his mind began to think of the things that couldâve happened to you.
Tatooine was his first stop, no response from Karga when he docked and secured the ship in Pelliâs hangar. Much to his disappointment, the travel through hyperspace hadnât been too long, so a response was wishful thinking on his part. Spurred on by the endless possibilities of what happened consuming him.
He was silent as he handed her the credits from your bag, loathing that he needed to use them as he lacked his own. Even now, gone from him and hurt, you were still offering him help. Providing for him the way he should be for you, the way that he wanted to. The reality of having asked you to travel with him weighing heavily on his mind. Once adâika is settled with those who could train him, Din would need to take up working with the Guild full time again to provide for the covert. A life steeped in danger and endless threats, a life you already had far too much experience with. PerhapsâŠperhaps he could secure a tract of land somewhere, a place to return to after jobs. A nice cabin surrounded by trees and an endless supply of anything you may need. Or perhaps a shop front on Nevarro, for you to sell you wares. He would take extra jobs to provide that for you, work his hands to the bone and until he could barely move for how exhausted he was.
Because you deserved it. You deserved to be happy and he was beginning to think that may not be with him. Not if he was constantly away or you were left on the ship for days, weeks, months at a time while he tracked down his quarries. Constantly traveling through space and left to handle the ship alone.
WouldâŠwould you even want that type of life?
Wouldnât it be another type of imprisonment, no reward but a tired and aching man in the bed beside you only a handful of nights? Half of him given to you, half devoted to his Creed.
Iâd rather be dead than be someoneâs captive again. Even if itâs as one to you, jatne vod.
Thoughts consuming him, there was no argument from him as he left adâika with her to look through the city.
The lack of your figure emerging from the ship didnât prompt any questions from her, though he could sense them on the tip of her tongue and the front of her mind.
He set out, looking for the woman who you made friends with the last time he had landed the Crest on the sandy planet.
He found her, in the middle of a scuffle in the marketplace over a stolen loaf of bread. A child whose stomach was caved in and bruises over their arms visible when the sleeves of their tunic rose up. The vendor wanted the child to be taken in, punished for the attempted theft. But he could see how conflicted Sioban was with following that heated demand.
Diffusing the situation, seeing the form he had first encountered you in mirrored in the small child, he stepped forward and offered a handful of credits to the vendor.
âTo cover the bread for the child, two loaves and that chunk of cured meat.â
âSir, this has nothing to do with you. You donât need to put yourself out for that ungrateful litte-â
âTake it.â Dinâs head throbbed, exhausted and anxious, just trying to do something good. Something you would do. They were your credits, and he wanted to do this. At the fixed stare of his visor, the vendor released the child from her tight grip, nearly throwing the small frame to the ground as she did. Roughly, she gathered the loaf that had started the whole ordeal, a second one, and the wrapped meat. Holding it out for him to take.
Sioban ushered everyone who had stopped in their tracks to go about their business. Once the small crowd cleared and attention was diverted, Din turned to the child and crouched down.
âHere, for you.â He kept his voice a hush, not wanting the modulator to manipulate his voice into a threatening or menacing tone it tended to do, taking the emotion from his words more often than not.
âT-thank you, sir.â
âNow go and stay out of trouble.â
An enthusiastic nod and they were running off, disappearing down the street.
âWell, well, well. Mando is a softie afterall.â Siobanâs voice lightly teased. âWhereâs Sarad and the baby? Or is this a solo trip this time around?â
âI would like to speak with you, if you have the time.â
âSomething happened.â The womanâs features hardened, a slant to her brow as her eyes looked him over before settling on the visor. She didnât look or feel like a threat, something proven further by your willingness to share a table with the woman. But Din was fighting his instincts, the ones telling him to chase chase chase, even with no actual leads as to where you had gone. And this woman might hold some clues or at least be able to offer Din a higher chance if he had someone on the ground of the planet you had run to once already.
âYes.â
The conversation with Sioban hadnât yielded any answers. If anything, it solidified that Din had absolutely no idea what to do. With no other leads, he fell back on his tracking tactics, searching for your last place of known residence.
Once back to the ship, he silently takes adâika from Pelli. Not responding to the looks or faint questioning he knew was on the womanâs mind. A nod, a formal shaking of the womanâs hand and he was guiding the Crest back into the air to comb over the planet as best he could. You had said you thought you were here when he took you from that compound, a home you had hidden away on this world after running from your mother years ago.
It took him nearly a weekâs worth of days of flying low to the land before he caught sight of a structure.
Mind working overdrive as he strained his eyes through the visor with aided mechanics for any sign of life amid the vast stretch of the desert landscape. Sectors outlined and crossed out when they didnât yield anything. Errant skeletons of a bantha, the Jawaâs traveling across the land, and Tusken settlements the only markers of time passing and the ship moving moderately along.
And then, suddenly.
There were two tall spires beside a moderate looking abode. Moisture farming equipment, the same you had told him about replacing shortly before your capture. Was all he had to go off of, a small conversation that you hadnât expanded on in your time with him.
The structure was like most far out into the desert, mostly underground with a rounded and smooth stone roof, a door with a protected entrance to prevent sand from building up right up against it. It was modest, big enough for one person to have plenty of room. Abandoned, by his guess, the stone of the building chipped in places from sand and the spare storm weathering it down.
It had to be yours, it had to be, please let it be yours were his thoughts as he broke the lock still activated, ensuring the structure was protected even out in the middle of nowhere. Mos Eisley was an entire dayâs travel away. Even more so in any other direction to another of the planets handful of moderate settlements. A good place to hide. Visibility on your side. A lonely place to hide.
Iâve always loved the forest.
The memory how your tired and injured features had lit up at the sight of Sorgan visible through the glass of the cockpit, the breathy gasp that had fallen from your lips sprung to his mind. You had been so calm, despite the precarious circumstances, stealing away moments to brush your bare fingers along the leaves reaching out from low branches.
You mustâve been miserable here. The land so dry and empty, the closest mountain ridges barely visible on the horizon. Even those were spotty with tangled roots that held little to no greenery. Sentencing yourself to the wasteland to live out your life in fear and comfortability, hoping the environment you werenât fond of would throw those searching for you off your trail.
Glancing behind him, Din watched as adâika slowly made his way down the ramp. Little sounds falling from his lips as he took in the sight of his guardian in front of a new place he didnât recognize. Raising his hands as he got to the bottom of it, Din retreated to it and lifted up the small child, holding him tight in the crook of his elbow as he descended down the few steps and through the open door.
It was dark inside, no lights on or power source even charged, no doubt. But definitely abandoned. Sparingly decorated, though he could feel that it was once your space. The kitchen equipped with a fancy caf maker, ample kitchen wares, potted plants and herbs that had long died and dried in the sunlight coming in through the windows. There was an impressively organized wall of shelving right above a desk in the large main room, presumably where you would work on crafting armor. The only way to support yourself in such an environment. Most likely making trips into town in order to sell or trade.
There were three interior doors at the back of the structure. A heavy duty one off to the side of the kitchen. That one contained a greenhouse set up, or as close to one as you could imitate underground and on so hot a planet. There was a large panel of controls beside the door on the inside, telling Din of the way you controlled the pressure and moisture of the room One to a storage room, more evidence of your time spent here. Full of large bins and crates, evidence of grains and dried food. Of the pieces of armor you lovingly and intricately crafted.
One to a fresher, the last to what was once your bedroom.
Underneath the bed is where he found it, with the aid of his helmet. The massive rug that took up most of the bedroom floor hiding it in plain sight. The trap door exposed when he moved the bed and folded the rug up.
It wasnât secured with anything that he could see, even with the aid of his helmet. It looked just like score marks dug into the stone ground. And he recalled the way you could effortlessly wield the Force, the power you shared with the child. Perhaps you hadnât wanted a way for anyone else to access what lay hidden beneath, using it to manipulate the hideaway you felt you needed even this deep in the desert alone. Forever paranoid and fearful of being tracked down and found out.
Sighing, Din tried to think of a way to break the barrier, knowing he needed to search the entire home.
âAdâika,â He called, turning to see the child had situated himself on the couch in the main room. Eyes wide as he toyed with a broken collar. He wondered if it had belonged to a creature you had cared for, run away or long since passed now. âAdâika, can you help me?â
Leaning down to pick up the occupied child, Din pointed a gloved finger to the marks in the stone ground.
âAdâika, see these lines?â A gurgle of acknowledgement, the tilting of his head. âThereâs a door here, that leads underground. Meshâla put it there, do you think you can open it?â
Din set him down in front of it, crouching down to hold his hand out in front of them both and mimic the way you would twist your hand in concentration to harness your powers.
âJust like Meshâla, like how you take the handle from the lever in the control room?â
Wide eyes looked up at him, curiosity in them at the manâs words.
If this didnât workâŠhe could always resort to using the charges fastened to his belt. Force a way through the entrance, but he didnât want to damage the space or the room below.
But the crackling of stone was sharp as it sounded in the air. The childâs small face scrunched up in concentration, his eyes clenched shut as he harnessed his powers. Quiet grunts falling from his mouth as he struggled to move the stone.
But it was working. It was opening, the telltale sounds of stone grinding on stone as the thick slab that acted as an entrance was pried open.
âGood job, adâika! Itâs working!â He couldnât contain the pride in his voice nor the rapid beating of his heart. Positive that any answers he was in search of would dwell below. He moved forward to help lift the heavy slab, shoving it along the floor and revealing a dark space into the lower level of the house.
Turning on the flashlight of his helmet, Din descended into the bowels of your hideaway. Dust enveloped him as he waved at adâika to stay put on the higher level until he cleared the space.
It was a large room, the same size as the whole top floor of the structure. Though it was only two rooms, a living room and a bedroom with a second fresher. The living room held floor to ceiling bookcases, filled to the brim with physical books. A holo net in front of the couch, signs that you spent just as much time down here as you did in the rest of the structure if not more. He hated the realization that you felt the need to hide away even this far out in the desert, this far out in the galaxy. Forever paranoid and holding the fear that you would be tracked down. And he had been a part of that fear, he had been one of the many who had sought you out.
The crate in the bedroom caught his eye, beckoning him forward. Not only because of the hefty locks sealing it shut but because there was energy around it that made the tips of his fingers tingle. Much like his blood when he felt your body pressed up to his own, the sacrament of your trust in him personified.
Walking toward it, the small baby curls of his recently trimmed hair prickled on the back of his neck.
Snapping the thick locks, he kneeled on the ground in front of it and slowly lifted the lid.
His breath left him as the visor set into a midnight blue, almost black Mandalorian helmet peered back up at him. It was in pristine condition, as if it had merely been taken off for the man who he suspected wore it to partake in a quick meal and not the reality that it had been stored here for who knows how many years untouched. He hadnât asked if you had kept it, after the manâs death, but he was felt the question bubble on his tongue more than once. But the answer was sitting obvious and blaring right in front of him.
Lifting it revealed the very same pendant he had gifted to you, attached to a thinly crafted beskar chain.
The one you had said you intended to show him in order to garner his help, to let him know of your connection to his way of life. Lost in the scuffle of being taken off guard and whisked away, but it was here, awaiting your return. He wondered why you hadnât worn it that day, the day that set your paths up to cross. With slow movements, he began to remove the cowl about his neck, laying it down beside him.
With a held breath, he reached for the pendant and fastened it around his neck, tucking it beneath his shirt and layers of protective ware fronted by his cuirass. The cowl going back in place.
Beside the helmetâŠbeside it was a neatly arranged line of metal hilts similar to the one you carried with you at all times. Similar to the one you had tried to buy your freedom from him with when first meeting.
Similar but not identical.
There were four of them. Lightsabers, you had told him they were called. That he now knew were an integral part of the creed you had been trained in. But the fact remained that he didnât know the why of how many you had in your possession.
You had said each person similar in skill and training crafted their own, each unique and personal to an individual much like the helmets and armor Mandalorianâs adorned. Carefully picking one up, tingling traveling further up his arms and settling down his back, he tilted it to see that it did indeed house a crystal like your own. Each one had a different hue.
He decided to stay in the place that you once called home that night, locking up the ship after checking to see if he had received word from Karga. But when there were transmissions waiting to be heard, he secured the ship. His head hurting and his mind overwhelmed at finding pieces of you, proof that you existed outside of his memories.
Settling into the bed, he knew it was a lost cause as he tried to feel close to you. Reality reminding him you hadnât slept in either of the cots aboard the ship in nearly two weeks now, years for the bed he now lay atop, cover bunched underneath his arms as he curled on his side and regarded the journal you left behind in your haste to run. Adâika resting atop the pillow beside his own, wrapped in your cloak as if it was the softest blanket in the universe. The child trying to feel close to you as well, missing you and growing more concerned each day.
Sleep evaded him, your voice loud in his head, the way you had sounded so devoid of emotion when he had failed to communicate with you. Tipping into different memories, the most prominent of the events back on Nevarro.
It rang in his ears, over and over, layering itself until it was a buzz he couldnât rid himself of.
Ner karâta.
The desperation in your voice, the tears in your eyes, the way your hands shook as they reached out for him, how gentle they were when they cradled his helmet. The soft press of your forehead to his chest, to his helmet, to his hands grasped in your own as he lay bloodied and injured, barely conscious and so tired. So ready for death after a life that had only allowed him a glimpse of you. To ensure you could escape and continue to live, to be safe.
You had told him, as well as you could, what you meant to him.
Had shown him, with trusting him to press his skin to yours, body tangled with his own. Nervous giggles sounding into the air and seizing his heart as he wanted for more of them. Of the breathy sighs and sounds that fell from your lips as you let him caress your skin, the soft give of your chest, the plush give of your thighs, the velvet smooth apex between them.
Trusted him with the most intimate parts of you, parts of human connection. Even in the face of all that you had endured.
And then you has whispered it, half asleep and safe underneath him.
I love you. Future husband.
And he shattered it. With a foolish blunder of words he hadnât been able to reign in, to explain himself and his own desires in a more coherent way. That he wanted you just as you wanted him.
Jatne vod.
Contradicted with the emotion bleeding from your expressive eyes, the firm line of your lips as you closed your mouth, resigned to a notion that you gathered from his stupid, ill thought-out words. From his lack of words. The way your hands shook for an entirely different reason, the way you shrunk into yourself, away from him.
And then you had been gone.
And it hurt.
He left adâika in the room, fast asleep atop the pillows.
Removing his helmet and hanging his head in his hands, he settled on the couch. For the first time in a long time, the Mandalorian known for being so ruthless, for being so focused and emotionless behind his helmet, cried. Â
âMando, Iâve received word. But it is best relayed in person. I will be awaiting your arrival.â
Adâika was not having a good day, he didnât want to leave the house he could feel your presence in. He had already wailed and shook his tiny fists as Din tried to pick up him. Causing the migraine addled man to lose his grip at the sharp pierce of his cries to his head. That had only resulted in the thump of adâikaâs bottom on the stone floor and more crying.
Din already felt bad enough, but he felt like the worst guardian in the galaxy for dropping his foundling, for not being able to manage his own pain and discomfort to care for anotherâs. A pang of fear floods him, igniting his instincts in a way it rarely did. And he froze in his crouched position, having been about to scoop adâika up.
The child mustâve shared in his foreboding, a shriek sprouting from him and causing Din to cradle his head as best he could with the helmet, knees kissing the floor harshly as he fell to them.
Something was wrong. Low in his gut, unease bubbled and stuck to his insides.
He felt like he was going to be sick, his head throbbing, pain prickling from the healing scar at the back.
And then his body felt numb, like all sense of command was not his to control and his vision blacked out.
Nevarro loomed in the distance, approaching fast. The ship rattled at the harsh landing, Dinâs steps hard and fast as he disembarked, the ramp closing behind him as he crossed the new archway that had been erected in the time he had been away. Months had gone by, one with you and one without. Having to spend another week resting in the place you once called home. He had fallen ill, though of what he didnât have an answer. Only that his head felt like he had been electrocuted and his limbs had been hard to control. Adiâka too, had been lethargic, crying out long into the night every time the suns had set and darkness took over the planet. The search for you stretching far too long, anxiety thrumming over his skin.
Karga was in the reconstructed city hall, reading over something laid out on the table when the door boomed open, revealing the determined figure of Din, a secretary behind him frantically trying to warn the man in charge of his arrival.
âWhere?â
âSir, please, you need to check in-â
âItâs alright, heâs got clearance.â With a nod the woman was closing the door behind her, knowing it was serious if all protocol was being ignored.
Din repeated his question, forgoing a formal greeting.
âWell, I wish these were better circumstances.â The man stood up, coming around the table and leaned against it, his arms crossed over his chest as he took in the still form of Din across the room. The wide eyes of the child peeking out from the bag at his hip, small hands allowing him to climb from within it and jump from the moderate height. He cooed, walking the distance to Karga and lifting his hands toward the man.
âIâm still trying to get intel on that. But I do know that it was her mother, who struck a deal with someone of the Guild. HeâŠwas here still when we took back the city. He had taken the transaction separate from the Guild, not wanting word of it to get back to me. To you.â He relayed the information as he bent down to pick up the small being.
âIâve got him locked up, but heâs not speaking.â
âHe will.â
âMando-â
He was gone in a blink, stalking out the door and toward the prison cells kept on the lowest floor of the building.
The stone steps opened up to a line of cells on both sides of the long room, Din stopped in front of the only occupied one. Body buzzing with anger that the inhabitant had not only hunted you down and captured you but did so on the orders of someone whoâs voice triggered you through a transmission. He couldnât begin to imagine the visceral reaction youâd have upon seeing her for the first time in years, having entertained the thought of killing yourself in order to not have to deal with her again.
And he feared, heat catching in his throat as he felt the prickle of tears.
Iâd rather be dead than be shackled for one more second of my life!
YouâŠyou wouldnât, right? Now that you had him to return to, someone to rescue you from being stolen away from the life you had carved out for yourself. It had been so long since you had been taken, days, weeks, and entire month. And he still had no clue as to where you had been crated off to. It would be more days, more weeks, maybe another month before he could figure it out. Did you already seize an unknown opportunity, try to escape? Or had you given up, too loaded up with whatever drugs your mother and intended pumped into your system to make you compliant? Would you have taken the endless out of harming yourself, seeing it as the only option as he failed to come to your aid thus far?
Would you be able to sense the desperation and endless efforts he was putting forth to find you? That he was trying, despite the way he was still healing, despite the sense of dread that he would be too late?
Would you be able to sense his worry and fear over you having to deal with something you never wished for? A forced reunion with your mother, back in her clutches and control. A forced marriage to a man you didnât know, the obligations that came along with that notionâŠthe very same acts that had caused you to turn to self-harm in the past, the scars of which were displayed on the skin of your thighs, the same ones that he had run his fingers over not too long agoâŠ
A man bound in cuffs was slumped against the floor, back leaning on the wall behind him. He appeared to be alive, though if his answers didnât aid Din in his search for you he wouldnât be for long. Giving into the urge to startle the unaware man, Din banged a fist on the bars of the cell. Jerking awake, the manâs eyes flew open and his chest heaved.
The second he recognized the armor, his eyes narrowed and he frowned.
âIt was just a job, nothing personal, Mando.â
âIs that why you went out of your way to hide it from the Guild records?â
âYouâre too self-righteous, knew youâd come after me for hunting the girl.â
The snapping of metal was loud, sickening as Dinâs shoulders forced the control panel to bend and spark.
The whine of the door swinging open deafening as the man pressed himself back into the wall, trying to get up on his feet. But he was too slow, Dinâs hands hauling the man up by the front of his jumpsuit and slamming him into the wall. A crack sounded as the back of the manâs head connected with the stone of the wall. A wail punched from his chest as he lost the air in his lungs.
âItâs too late, her mother married her off to some high lord. Sheâs probably already knocked up with his heir by now. Living a cush life in some nice palace far away from here.â He spoke unprompted by a direct question. Knowing that it was useless to try and lie to the Mandalorian.
The mere thought of someone touching you had anger swirling in his chest and stomach, igniting him in a dangerous way. You didnât like people touching you, you didnât like anyone who wasnât him touching you in any way let alone intimately. His voice was low when he breathed out his next question, an edge to it that commanded the truth.
âWhere?â
âDonât know, I told her mother you were probably going to find out, track me down and kill me for the information. Donât know why.â The man flipped the stray hairs flopping over his forehead away, teeth clenching as he recalled the way you had slammed him harshly into the side of the alley. âThe bitch has a pretty face, sure, but she was a handful. Took a lot to take her out, but once I did, she begged so sweet for me to let her go.â
âDrugging someone isnât something to boast about, itâs a last-ditch effort for those who donât have the skill for the job.â Dinâs words were a guttural sound, echoing across the floor. Blood dripped from the manâs nose, a vambrace knocked into it the longer the man talked. He didnât know anything, but that wouldnât stop Din from beating what he could out of the man.
âSo what? It took her down and thatâs what mattered. I saw her take down those Storm Troopers that overran the city, there was no way I was going to be able to without the hint from her mother. Youâll find another body to warm your bed. No need to fret over-â
Dinâs hand was around the manâs throat in a flash, knuckles popping with the force. An ugly gurgle deep in his chest, body desperate for air, but he would never take another breath again. Windpipe crushing under his palm, Din took some comfort in the final, choked sound the man made before his body went limp.
Before it could even crumple to the ground, Din was walking out of the room and going straight toward the stairs. Â
âMando, I sent communication to Cara, sheâs-â
âIâve got what I need.â Din was careful as he lifted the child from atop the desk where Karga had set him with a snack. Exchanging adoring coos with the tired little being. Making sure to offer the rest of the pack of dried fruit to the claws reaching out for it, a whine falling from his mouth at the idea of leaving it behind.
âNot so fast-â
âI donât have time. I need to find her.â Din snapped, fists clenching and adâika ducking down into the bag at the boom of his voice. âSheâs been sold like a slave by her mother.â
âIâm going with you,â Cara was firm in her decision, not wanting to take any chances of your distance becoming permanent. Of it leading to the demise of the person who you had begun to develop into that she had glimpsed.
âNo, I have to handle this myself. I was the one who failed to protect her.â He moved to continue through the room, toward the door. But Cara was suddenly in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips a firm line.
âMando, youâre gonna need help. And sheâs important to me too.â
It was a quiet trek back to the entrance of the city, more ships having landed around his own. He was about to engage the ramp when two of the attending guards approached him. But they spoke with Cara at the sharp gaze of the visor on them. Another ship was offered for them to use, curtesy of the city and of Karga. Something a little smaller, a little faster, nondescript and wouldnât give away the presence of an enraged and desperate Mandalorian searching for his partner.
When the argument for a different ship didnât take, Karga approached through the archway.
Cara was hesitant to point out that the ship was as obvious as Dinâs armor. A sign to tip off those keeping an eye out for threats. She had been quiet, sitting in the office with the magistrate and the child while the body of the now deceased Guild member who had hunted you down was taken care of. Waiting for Din to emerge from the containment level. But now she stood beside him, urging him to see the benefits to changing ships, just for the time being.
âDo we risk docking the ship in a hangar?â
âYes, we lie about the model.â Din insisted, not wanting to leave the Crest behind.
âWhat if someone knows?â
âItâs an old ship, pre-Empire, no one will know.â
âTheyâll run it through the system.â Karga spoke up, wanting to be a voice of reason for his friend determined to rush, to not take a beat and think things through. âMando, you owe it to her to be as stealthy as possible. If they know youâre coming, once you track down where, they may hurt her. Take it out on her.â
Din closed his eyes, hand coming to the front of his helmet and over the visor. He didnât want to part ways with his ship, even temporarily. It would mean he wasnât surrounded by the things you left behind, the proof that you were real, had been with him, shared in a life with him even for a moment.
With his words more of a grunt than anything, he conceded, knowing the two beside him were just trying to help.
âWhat did you do Mando?â She asked quietly, the book from your crate in her hands and pages flipping as she looked through it. Hoping to find some light on how to connect with you. Din had gathered supplies from the Crest, things you may want once he managed to find you and rescue you.Your armor and more of your clothing, the first things he packed into your bag. An insistence for you to never leave the ship without the pauldrons again that he would plead with you until you conceded. People would be less likely to confront you with the tell-tale signet of a clan and the Mandalorian armor. But then again, he never planned to stray far from you outside of the ship. He knew you were capable, more than capable, but heâŠhe wouldnât be able to handle loosing you again if he was able to get you back.
When he got you back, he argued against the self-depreciating and negative thoughts that were attempting to consume him.
The ship was in hyperspace, a three-day trip ahead of them to make it to the mid rim coordinates of your home world. Neither had been there but knew of the inhabitants being an uneven mix of humans and a reptilian race. Oceans and sprawling fields of tall grass making up most of the environment. It was a moderately size planet, had seen bases for both the Resistance and the Empire in itâs time. Though the more recent had been the former. Most likely spurred on by your suspected return to what you knew in the wake of the Templeâs attack. An event in your life that you had yet to open up completely about, allowing him small glimpses before it became to much to talk about. But it was easy to connect the fall of Mandalore and the fall of your Temple being equally devastating, an attempt to take out entire cultures.
âIâŠI made a mistake.â
ââŠhow big of a mistake?â Cara didnât look up from the journal in her hands, not wanting to make the armored man feel cornered. Allowing him the privacy and space to turn away from the question should he want to, feel the need to.
âShe fled the ship, to get some space. She mustâve been distracted, too worked up to keep her head up and on alert. ItâŠIâm the reason she was taken.â
âMando, you know thatâs not true.â Cara tried to placate him, knowing he carried a lot of guilt over what had happened, whatever it had been to cause all of this. âShe didnât have her saber?â
âShe does- did. She.. they drugged her. Like you said, itâs the only way to take her down.â
âWait, this looks like Basic. Theyâre the only characters written differentlyâŠâ
Din was hovering, making out the words on his own.
âBetrothed.â
He recalled the same words falling from your lips, the reason that prompted you to make an escape. You hadnât wanted to be someoneâs wife, someoneâs property. The name was in Basic as well, something you didnât want to forget lest they come after you themselves. A shadow of your past hovering over you and hidden in the back of your mind as you set out on your own, determined to hide yourself away to prevent anyone from having power over you. Of belonging to someone, anyone ever again.
And yetâŠyou had so readily agreed in his commitment to you, knowing that was the only way Din would be able to share in your affections and wants. Mandalorian religion and culture strictly forbade the removal of oneâs helmet unless it was with family, with a spouse, with children of the same clan. To do so outside of those conditions would result in the label of an apostate. Striped of their involvement in the lifestyle and Creed. It was a serious thing you should hold reservations about, with your past.
And while he hadnât pushed the parameters of itâŠ.he had wanted to. For you, for himself, to share himself with you in the way that you had felt safe enough to voice. The realization that you had agreed to such an all-encompassing thing, being with him made him reflect. Why were you willing to do so with him, for him? He was just a bounty hunter, one who had actively sought you out and intended to turn you into the very person who had stolen you away. Sold you like an object to someone for their wants and needs, to fill a space in their life whichever way they commanded it. He had been of the same mind when first encountering you, seeking you out for a trade of currency.
Din was not a good man, though he tried to be for his people. But being a good man to his people, being the sole provider for his covert allowed him to be fast and loose with what it meant to be good in order to do so. What did it matter if the person whose puck he had was truly guilty of the accusations calling for their surrender if it allowed him to delivery credits and supplies to his people? What did it matter if the job warranted for the person he was tracking to be delivered dead or alive and he chose to kill them based on the simple notion of them running and it allowed him to bring a ration of meals to his people?
What had he ever done to deserve someone such as yourself willing to let down your walls and allow him entrance? He had been at internal war, whether or not to turn you in the second you spoke Mandoâa to him, healed him, saved him from that second raging Mudhorn even when you had to reason to do so. You easily couldâve let the cut on his arm fester, let the rampaging creature take out his already spent form.
ButâŠit wouldnât have been easy, he knows now. How you cared for those around you: from friendly vendors to women you seemed to see yourself in, to children who are simply hungry and have no choice but to steal, to adâika in bounds and waves, to him. The constant swivel of your head while out in crowds and among people, sousing out threats and people who may be on the lookout for you. The swiftness with which you turn into a fighter when threatened and your freedom is at stake.
The thoughts swirled around and around in Dinâs mind as the ship traveled toward your home world. The last known location of your mother and potentially holding clues as to who she struck a deal with. The now dead bounty hunter not having gotten a name, only concerned with the exchange of credits for your capture. No questions, no concerns. The quarryâs capture the only thing that mattered. The man had taken the job and completed it. Had died as a result of it.
Din had been like that too, not that long ago.
Could have easily been the one being imprisoned while someone who cared about a quarry sought answers and revenge. But he was the one realizing how fragile things where, had been since taking two fobs from Karga and altering the very meaning of his life.
Something about the wide, beseeching eyes of the child had activated his heart. Opened it up and made room for the small being to fit into. The uncertainty he had sensed from the child once its eyes had looked into his own, spurring a sense of concern from the armored man over its life well beyond the need to deliver it to the client healthy and alive.
âShe asked for something, for aâŠkiss.â
âButâŠyour helmet.â Cara weakly argued, knowing how strongly he adhered to his Creed. Not even removing it in the face of grave injury and offered aid. Not even removing it in the threat of death.
âI know,â His words were carried on a heavy sigh. He sat heavily in the seat beside her, the hull holding a small set up for longer travels. Adâika crawled from her lap and over the table, situating himself in Dinâs arms, claws reaching for the helmet to try and sooth the man. âShe- she called me âjatne vodâ before she fled from the ship.â
The cracking of his voice was not lost through the modulator.
âShe mustâve felt so rejected, so unwanted. And I- I just stumbled over my words so badly she ran.â
âShe knows you care about her, Din.â
The sound of his name from her lips, so different from when you spoke it, whispered it, breathed it, was too much for him.
âI really messed up, Cara.â He admitted with shaky words.
âWeâll fix it, Iâll help you fix it.â
Kâath was a beautiful planet. All endlessly sprawling ocean, sandy beaches, and small clustered villages.
Simple. Life here was simple. Crops being tended to, the oceans being fished in, no signs of the war other than an abandoned base on the edge of the largest cluster.
Din hadnât ever wanted to enter the planetâs atmosphere, to step foot on the sandy land. It was a place that held painful memories for you, the crumbling of a life you had been hopeful to return to in the wake of losing everything that ever meant anything to you. A hopeful refuge after a life of hardships, but it had only provided you with more. The stripping of your freedom and the control over your own body.
It was simple enough to find your home, your motherâs home. Asking after the armorer, claiming he was in need of repairs. A Kath woman had been kind enough to try and use her broken Basic to tell them where he could find the store front, but that no one had been tended to it for some time now. That the woman who was known to run it could be approached at her personal residence. That she was kind and could be persuaded to help even though sheâd long retired from working.
It was empty, signs of disuse obvious from the outside. Tall reeds of grass sprouting up at the foundation, the windows thick with grime. It was humble, despite the ways in which Din had seen you return from a shop front, a bag heavy with credits in your possession. A skill that you learned from your mother lending you a way to support yourself and indulge in all the things you had to go without for so long.
There was only one transmission on the communication radio set up in the corner that Cara had rushed to once the door had creaked open. Sand was collected in the corners, another sign that no one had occupied the residence for some time now.
âSheâs on Maldovan.â Cara shuffled into the bedroom from the main one, aware that the man was focused on something she couldnât see. He was as still as a statue, peering into the darkness of the doorway in front of him.
The visor allowing him to take in the room you had been held captive in. There was bedding on the ground, no frame for it to sit upon. A chair on the opposite side, close to the door. No windows, no other entrance or exit. A small room that was bathed in darkness lest someone bring a lantern into the room with them.
âI donât know that planet.â Din admitted, shifting from where he was standing at the doorway of what had been the locked room hidden behind a large wardrobe to look over his shoulder at her. The shifting of it had popped a drawer open, revealing needles and syringes, vials that had been long emptied. All signs that this was truly the home you had been kept in.
âIs that-?â
âWhere San was kept locked up, yeah.â He was surging forward, hands reaching for the chains secured to the walls above the bedding and he pulled. Using all the strength he had to rip them from where they were bolted, the wall cracking and splintering as he did so. The heavy chains fell to the floor with a clang, metal that sounded eerily familiar as it collapsed on itself. Kneeling down, Din reached for one of them, the cuff in his hand heavy and he sucked in a breath as he realized why such a simple contraption had been able to hold you: the chains were made of pure beskar.
Far too heavy for your drug addled body to fight against.
Programmed to shock you should you move too much, the sensors lining the inside of the cuffs telling him as much. With a shout he tore the second, lower set of chains from the wall, throwing them across the room in his rage.
The image of you shackled to the wall of this dark room, consumed with thoughts of ending your life kept him on his knees, forced his arms to support him as he crumpled to the ground completely. His modulator crackling with the heavy breaths.
Surging up, he activated bright flames to flow from his vambrace. Intent on tearing down the entire house to the last stud and beam. Cara was quick to retreat back outside, letting the man do what he felt was necessary. She stood behind him as he made his way outside, the structure entirely lit up and beginning to collapse in on itself.
Dark smoke whipped around in the breeze coming off of the nearby shoreline, doing nothing to quell the licking flames. Cara was doing her best to sooth an equally agitated child in the bad slung across her shoulders. Though she knew it would take time for them both to come back from seeing the evidence of your heavy past.
They watched as it turned from burning wood, the outer stone walls crumbling from the heat that had been trapped inside, to a pile of rubble and ash.
He knew it was against the Creed, that it was a sin to leave behind something of his people. But the beskar that had contained you glowed hot amongst the ash, left behind as he walked away from the plot of land and back to the ship.
âThe holonet has little information on Maldovan. Citing that itâs a desert planet with white sands, crystalline oceans that bring in a lot of visitors.â Din announced as he exited the control room, the ship constructed of only that and one other room off the hold space. One level, but enough for them to be comfortable traveling. Cara had tried to get Din to retire to the room once they returned to the ship and left Kâath behind, but he had insisted he was fine. Though the door to the cockpit had been closed and locked for hours now, well into the trip since the ship had been jumped into hyperspace.
âAnd their walled city.â Cara added, as she brought up a hologram of the planet to life from her cuff. She had reached out to Karga, asking him for any aid he had to provide them on the place they were traveling to.
âYes⊠and if her mother knows about you then it will be hard to make a plan. Your armor isnât exactly common and Iâm sure sheâs told the royal guard to keep an eye out for you.â
âHaran.â He cursed, knowing Caraâs words were true.
Shit.
It was entirely possible, and he wouldnât put it past the woman he personally knew nothing about, going off of the words of her that you had shared with him. But surely the only city on the planet wouldnât go out of their way to screen the many tourists that sought out the picturesque world.
Time seemed to be moving slowly and far too fast all at the same time. Thoughts continued to consume Din, all the possibilities of what could occur, what had already occurred making him feel like he was a child once again who knew nothing of the world or how it worked. The shipâs system beeping before it shifted smoothly from traveling through hyperspace and back to sublight settings.
The planet in view was covered in vast expanses of white sand and bright blue. An ocean planet as much as a desert one. It was small, a moon to a larger planet visible in the sky even within the atmosphere as the ship descended. The only city was surrounded by a large wall, protection from the two outcroppings that looked to be a racetrack and the well-established tourist destination on either side.
Maldovan was known as a resort destination, an entire smaller sector off set from the main city. The sector looked to be abundant with hotels, spas, shopping, anything and everything to keep individuals occupied and a steady supply of credits flowing into the local economy.
Cara had suggested she be the one to guide the ship through the planetâs atmosphere, handle the communication with the intake group, and land the smaller ship into the hangar. She suggested he stay behind on the ship while she registered the ship, paying the station fee for several days. And when she returned, there was a frown on her face and a worried furrow to her brow.
The woman was frustrated, that much was obvious. Din merely watched her as she closed the ramp, turning to him and explaining what information she had gathered during the short interaction.
There were two glaringly obvious problems:
Everyone wore light, flowing coverings and outfits in order to gain access into the main part of the city.
And there were wanted posters depicting Dinâs armored form.
previous chapter || next chapter
dividers: by the lovely @cafekitsune
taglist: @clevergirl74 @strawberri-blonde @js-favnanadoongi @littlemisspascal @moonknight-s-cumdump @bookloverkat @golden-mando @beskarandblasters @feral-ferrule @bearsbeetsbeskar @76bookworm76 @anoverwhelmingdin @sarap-77 @picassopedro @sawymredfox @jessthebaker @genetics4life @mosssbawls
#dev writes#fic: of beskar and kyber#the mandalorian#the mandalorian fanfiction#din djarin#din djarin series#din djarin fanfic#din djarin fic#din djarin pov#din djarin character study#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin smut#star wars#star wars fanfiction#cara dune#greef karga#din and grogu#grogu#angst#bounty hunter din djarin#ao3#ao3 fic#ao3 link#archive of our own#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
Already posted this on ao3, but I thought Tumblr would like it too. A lovely commission courtesy of Valacre- cecaelia Skull getting to show his spookier and scarier side.
Some TWs, for this! Bleeding, near drowning, kidnapping and general yandere behaviour, vomiting, being pressured into eating. Proceed with caution if these things bother you!
You felt calm. Very calm.
You really shouldnât have felt calm. You were probably actively dying. Sinking deeper and deeper into an ocean abyss, bleeding from a head wound you sustained from thrashing against coral in a panic, you couldnât tell if the way the world was darkening around you was from your consciousness slipping away or your depth increasing. Perhaps a bit of both.Â
... But... you just felt calm. The toxins had already well kicked into your brain.Â
That was the thing, about sinking too deep in scuba gear. At depths, pressure changed the properties of whatever gas was in your tank. Unless you had a special concoction, suited for the extreme conditions, a tank of normal air would gradually become more and more toxic to your body the further down you went.
The regulator in your mouth, the very thing keeping you alive... was also the thing slowly killing you.
Nitrogen narcosis, right? You thought, nearly giggling. We learnt about it in dive class. What a dumb name, for something thatâs gonna kill me.
The fact that you were sinking didnât bother you. The fact that you were dying bought no panic. In fact, you could hardly remember why you panicked before. Again, you nearly laughed... you were so dumb, it was entirely your own fault you were in this position. Chasing a beautiful fish over the reef, further and further, not even noticing your dive group disappearing from sight.Â
The nature had been so beautiful, the fish so pretty... the waters so calm.
You went over an edge, the coral shelving away. You hadnât seen the bottomless, terrifying void until it had already opened up beneath you.
All struggling did was make you hit your head on a jagged coral branch. Nothing could stop the cold current from sucking you down.
You barely registered the plaintive beeping of the dive computer on your wrist. Quietly, uselessly, trying to warn you that you were getting too deep.Â
... Eventually, your regulator slipped out of your mouth.Â
Huh. Oh well.
...
Lights.
Lights filled your vision. Lights in a rainbow of colours, beautiful and vibrant, catching in the glass of your dive mask and casting across your face. The glimmering tucked around your fading mind, drawing it upward, drawing it away from the brink of nothingness.Â
A warm red colour moved closer, and closer, and closer. Pretty. The other nice colours still surrounded you, but the red was the most dominant of them. It was a welcome break, from the endless black and blue that you were sinking into... you felt big hands, on either side of your face, a comforting sensation.Â
Is this what dying is like? You stared at the warm red. Itâs nothing like what people said it would be like.
You could hear a soft humming. You felt it in your core, too. The drunken, narcotic-esque sensation of the gases was slowly replaced by a much softer and more pleasant emotional state. Less giggly... more peaceful.
Something touched to your mouth. Warm. And suddenly, you could breathe again. A distant, disconnected sense of relief in the back of your head- like despite all of the easy feelings around you, deep down, you were still afraid to die.
... The red glow grew brighter. As it did, the peaceful feeling picked you up, and carried you away.
You were more than happy to let it.
///---///
Your eyes opened.
...
You didnât expect that.
Immediately, panic rushed through you. It was so dark, so horribly dark - am I dead!? - you sat up, head rushing with a wave of nausea, your lips and fingers were heavy and tingly and your eyes felt as if they were swirling in your skull.
You instantly threw up seawater.
... A cave. You were in a cave. You let out a slow breath, it quivered slightly at the end, eyes darting around the chamber and desperately attempting to gather as much info as possible, hand coming up to wipe your mouth. The walls were black and glossy, seemingly volcanic, and the ground beneath you was dry.
... Wait. You forced yourself to slow down. How can I see?
You turned around. Just behind you, the dry rock shelved away into a large pool. And a faint, blueish-green light emanated from all around its edges, where the mirror-like black water met the stone. Algae? Plankton? Whatever it was, it was just enough light to see by, and it was undeniably beautiful.
... You shuffled over to the waterâs edge. Kneeling by it, you leant over, and drew your hand through the still water- the cave grew brighter, as a trail of light followed your palm, flickering across your face and casting soft ripples over the sloped walls.
... The panic didnât leave you completely. It probably wouldnât, until you were curled up in your own bed at home. But... something about the bioluminescence helped your emotions settle. It was genuinely beautiful to look at, and the sound of moving water filled your ears, grounding you to the moment. You werenât dead at the bottom of the seafloor, you werenât being eaten by some terrible beast. Though you struggled to make sense of the caveâs dimensions in the low light, it certainly wasnât small and you were grateful to be spared any nightmarish claustrophobia. Not to mention the fact that you were grateful you had light at all.
You took your hand out of the water. Watching the droplets fall, creating their own little flashes of light, made you suddenly realise something.Â
... The cave wasnât the only thing that was dry. You were bone dry, too. You touched your dry hand all over yourself, but felt no damp. How long have I been asleep?
For a moment, you suddenly worried that you shouldnât be breathing stale cave air, and you reached up as if to cover your mouth. But... you also realised that you had no idea how long youâd been unconscious for. Clearly, long enough for you to dry.Â
... Your wetsuit was gone. So was all of your scuba gear. You looked down at yourself, confused; dressed only in your swimsuit and rash vest, your tanks and hoses werenât anywhere to be found. Even your dive computer was missing from your wrist.Â
Looking up only confused you further. No longer frightened about stale air or whether or not you were dead, you noticed there were clothes laid against the rocks closest to the pool edge. Clothes you didnât recognise- clothes that absolutely werenât yours. A slightly damp towel, and a very damp shirt, placed neatly and flat... as if someone had taken their sopping wet items off after coming out of the water, and laid them out to dry. Given how warm (yet still somehow fresh) the cave air felt, you could definitely see things drying.Â
Possibilities flashed through your mind. Did you do that, then pass out and forget? Or was there someone else here? You werenât sure whether to be afraid of that possibility.
â... Youâre not gonna get much done sitting on the floor.â You murmured to yourself, instinctively wanting to fill the silence. Regardless of your quietness your voice bounced off the cave walls. âMight as well have a look around.â
Eventually, you forced yourself to your feet. You were a little wobbly... but nonetheless, you were alive.
The cave was, to your surprise, empty aside from you. No other signs of life. No spiders, no worms, no bats or flies- just those smooth dark walls and the shine of the reflected pool light. It was a decently sized cave, more than enough room for you to stand to your full height and stretch your arms above your head. Gradually, you shuffled your way into the back; the roof edged down slightly, before rising up again. You supposed that counted as a second part of the cave.
The second chamber was still a good size, but it was much smaller than the first chamber. It felt a fraction cooler. The light from the pool had grown so dim that you had to use your hands to navigate, feeling the walls to make sure you didnât fall over- very faintly, above you, you could make out a hole. Though no light was coming through, you felt fresh air on your face... you let yourself enjoy some relief at the knowledge that there was a source of breathable air. You werenât going to suffocate.
... Though you felt around more, there was no third chamber, and no potential way out aside from the crack directly above you.
And... nobody else was in the cave.
The clothes by the pool mustâve been me. You thought, a strange sensation falling over you. Maybe I have a concussion...?
...
Wait. Your head.
You gasped aloud, remembering that you had hit your head on coral. You reached up to touch your head, expecting blood, expecting matted hair, expecting something, anything at all.Â
... Your fingers touched dry seaweed.
You paused. The seaweed... it wrapped all the way around your head. Like someone had wrapped it for you. And you felt no pain when you touched the area that you had hit against the coral- in fact, when you moved the seaweed aside, your fingers felt nothing. No scab, no scar, nothing. It was like you had never been hurt.
...
Something wasnât right about this. The strange sensation grew, uneasiness intensifying. You stumbled back into the first chamber, eyes on the floor to make sure you didnât trip over anything in the half-darkness, you wanted to look at those damp clothes again to be sure you didnât recognise them.
You looked up, over to the bioluminescent pool, mostly to see clear light again and partially to try and calm yourself with its gentle blue glow.
... A large, glowing red eye stared back at you.
...
You were frozen. Completely. More than just your physical body- it felt as if the air around you stopped, as if your blood in your veins turned to ice, as if your heart paused in its beating and your breath turned to stone in your throat.
...
The eye didnât disappear. It wasnât a stress hallucination, it wasnât a mirage. As the leadden moments ticked on, the eye remained.
Silent.
... The eye... was in a skull. It twitched faintly. Only half of the head was above the water, the algae faintly shining where the sides of its face met the water. A vicious crack in the top of its cranium... just from the size of the top half of its face, you knew it was huge.
A siren. It must be a siren. A siren big and powerful enough to recover from such a frightening and severe injury as a head crack.
Trapped alone in a cave with a siren.
The realisation filled you with a numb, hollow kind of fear. It spread through every limb like a pale fire eating through paper.
Am I breathing? I donât know if Iâm breathing.
...
The siren, silently, lifted a few more inches out of the water. The only sound was the faint rippling of the pool. Droplets rolled down a smile of razor teeth.
...
You screamed.Â
How could you not? Pinned in a small cave, with a beast right out of your nightmares. For a split second, a flash of confusion across its huge face. You tried to scramble away and back into the second chamber, somewhere youâd be out of its reach.
Its smile quickly returned. In an instant, massive black tentacles shot out of the water, sending up sprays of light; though you were aware of the sirenâs size you had no idea of its dexterity. Before you could even turn around to run, tentacles seized your arms and legs; wet half-sentient masses of muscle wrapping tight around you. You felt the suckers press your skin, the slimy dark limbs squeezing and twisting, your bones suddenly felt so fragile and your screams so useless. Your voice just bounced off the smooth cave walls.
The tentacles pulled down, and instantly your legs gave way under you. He started dragging you toward him, toward the water- you watched in horror as his grin only grew, razor mouth and feverish red eye growing closer and closer. Death itself, pulling you in, images of those teeth driving into you made you begin to lose feeling in your extremities.
Like a child realising there was nowhere to run from the monster, you squeezed your eyes shut. You didnât want to look, you didnât want to see the teeth getting any closer, you didnât want to see the eye fill your vision. You didnât want to see it coming.Â
The pulling stopped. You were numb, youâd drawn into your head, you didnât know if you were even still screaming anymore.
Crack.
The sound of something breaking made any sound you mightâve been making catch in your throat.
...
... Except... you didnât feel any pain. Seconds ticked by, and you didnât feel the heat of blood, or the sensation of shock setting in. The tentacles hadnât moved, still holding onto you tightly.
Whatever had crunched, it wasnât your bones.Â
... You were still hyperventilating. But confusion allowed you to, slowly, open up your eyes.
The horrible grin was inches from your face, leering down at you. As was the equally horrible eye, bathing you in an overpowering red glow.
... But also in front of you, was two sides of a cracked sea urchin.
...
You stared blankly. The siren... he was holding them. One half in either massive clawed hand. It was a decently sized urchin, full of golden edible uni.Â
One hand was big enough to seize your face, crush your head.
...
The siren, upon getting no response from you, moved the split urchin a few inches closer. Like he was showing it to you. You tried to lean away, but he just responded by moving it slightly closer again.
... You glanced up at his face. It was a horrifying thing to behold. Jagged misshapen teeth, a half shattered skull... scars lining his body. That big iris, unblinkingly staring into your Soul. Not giving you an inch of space, as if he wanted to consume you just through eye contact.
...
Back down to the uni. Moments kept passing. Moments where he didnât maul you to death.
...
... Wait.
No...Â
You pulled in a little frightened breath.Â
He didnât like that, a flicker of something else crossing his expression. That same expression as earlier, when you screamed. Like he didnât like it- like he was getting upset.
Memories were starting to return, now. Fuzzy recollections of lights filling your vision. Alive in a cave, with new clothes drying on the rocks, your injuries bound and healed...Â
... This siren had saved your life. Hadnât he? Dressed your head wound, removed your heavy gear. He rescued you, put you in what must be his cave.
... He was trying to feed you.
Oh no.
You didnât have a choice, did you? You felt like if you didn't eat the food, he would eat you. Slowly, your hands came up, they were shaking almost comically... you reached forward, taking one of the sea urchin halves.
Judging from his reaction, it was the correct move. His unbearable smile inched wider. And across his tentacles, a dim pulsation of green and yellow light, for seemingly no reason other than happiness.Â
You didnât have anything to remove the edible parts with, so you had to use your fingers. Your hands were shaking so much that it took a few tries to actually get it out. But you managed, eventually.
... It was good uni. Incredibly fresh, salty, slightly sweet. But you had to force yourself to eat it. You felt intensely sick from the fear, your head was swimming and several times you had to suppress your gagging. Don't upset him. Just eat it. The food, though the sweetness did ease some of your dizziness, was impossible to enjoy in any way; the entire time you ate, the siren stared at you. He had an intensity only a wild beast could muster. Inches from you, so close you felt his massive breaths washing over your face... watching every. Single. Bite.
... It couldn't have taken long. But it felt like it took hours. Finally, you swallowed the last bit, and to your immense relief he didnât try to make you eat the other half of the urchin.Â
He seemed pleased- for now.
... His free hand lifted up. You flinched, closing your eyes again; you felt a large claw trace over your cheek.Â
It only confirmed your fears.Â
Sirens don't feed just anyone. They fed their children, their family, or their...Â
... Their mate.Â
The tentacle grip around you finally eased. Slowly but surely, pacified by your eating, he withdrew; though the wet limbs dragged across you as they retreated, like he was savouring every moment of contact. The red light of his eye became less and less dominant, the calming blue of the pool returning to your vision.
... He made a sound. It sounded like a deep growl. But given the grin on his massive face, and his obviously pleased disposition... it was probably closer in nature to a purr.
He slipped under the waterâs surface, leaving only a glowing ripple behind.
...
... You forced yourself to slow your breathing. You forced yourself to stop thinking about the terrifying implication of what youâd just experienced, but nothing could stop a few tears slipping down your face, nor a few shuddering breaths escaping from your chest.
A siren... was keeping you. Probably as his mate. Not just any siren- a massive, terrifying cecaelia, who clearly had no intention of letting you go. That's why he left you with most of your things, but took all your scuba gear, wasn't it? So you couldn't dive out of this cave.
No... no, you couldnât think about that. You swallowed the fear, only letting a few more frightened sobs free before scrubbing the tears off your cheeks.
This isnât ideal. But... youâre alive, at least. You thought. You wouldnât have survived if he didnât intervene. So this is better than nothing, right?
Yeah. Yeah, right. You bit the inside of your cheek. You needed to be thankful you were, at least, alive.
Youâre alive. Your wounds have all been tended to and healed. Youâre safe, somewhere warm and dry, with a supply of fresh air. The giant siren might be freaky, but he bought you food, and even clothes.
He clearly wants to keep you alive. Youâre gonna be okay.
âIâm gonna be okay.â You said, weakly... to nobody except the cave walls.
///---///
Skull watched, silently, as the boat moved further and further away. Only once it was out of sight did he allow himself to move through the water again, iris re-igniting. If it had come too close to the den entrance he wouldâve attacked.
... He was closer to shore than he liked to be. But it was important he was close to fresh air, and places he could source human things from. For you.
His chest... it warmed so much, at the thought of you. His mate. He had been alone so long, desperate for so long. Now, he finally had company.
... Sure, you were afraid. But it was only natural for a potential partner to be resistant to first advances. It just meant he needed to keep you in the den, and prove heâd be a strong, capable mate. Right? One of his tentacles lashed out, catching a fish. The other divers with you, the members of your pack, were clearly idiots- they didnât protect you. They didnât even notice when you were in distress. They didnât save you when you were hurt... not like he did.Â
He felt himself warming even more, pride returning, tentacle immediately crushing the fish. He rescued you. He held you close in your weakest moment, and filtered air into his mouth for you. He stemmed your bleeding, he cradled you in his arms, saved you from the brink of death. He held you close for hours, blanketing you with healing magic until he was certain you were stable, nearly killing himself from the exhaustion of ensuring you would be safe.Â
He was a good mate. Fish blood seeped out into the water around him. You would see, eventually, how good he was. All he had to do was keep you in one place, and prove it to you, no matter how much you fought him.
All he needed was time.
#commissions#tw near death#tw vomiting#some folks on ao3 raised the very important point that skull shouldnt be feeding her raw fish#but dont worry! hes a very conscientious mate who understands his wife's dietary requirements#it's one of the reasons he selected a cave so close to land#he can go and steal human food when nobody is looking#isnt he so thoughtful and forward-planning??
318 notes
·
View notes
Text
Touhou Project theory: the Scarlet Devil Mansion's heavy metal poisoning
something an intro idk how to do this
WARNING! LONG POST AHEAD!
Potential sources of heavy metal toxins
If we look inside the mansion there's a lot of red carpet. One pigment for red is vermilion, which which is derived from the mercury mineral cinnabar which is highly toxic. Vermilion was a highly valued and prestigious dye historically, befitting of an aristocrat's mansion. Another detail is in one of these screenshots the carpet is a rather dark red, and while many red pigments slowly turn pink as they fade vermilion actually darkens and turns brown (similar to blood), which you can see in the painting below. This could be a lighting effect, though.
Another possible pigment is minium, which is derived from lead and is also toxic.
We also see a fair amount of white in the mansion, on the table cloth in the above image and many of the residents' clothing such as Sakuya's apron and Flandre's mob cap. One historical pigment for white is lead white, which is also derived from lead. Lead white was also used in cosmetics to whiten skin, for another potential source of poisoning.
Another potential source is lead from pewter. Given Remilia's weakness to silver she is not likely to use sterling silver for metal objects such as tableware and tea sets. Pewter, a broad term for various tin alloys, is a popular alternative she might use. However, many older pewter alloys contained large amounts of lead as its toxicity was not understood. For a long time lead was actually used in toys since it was cheap and not understood.
There's also a possibility of toxins leaching into food or drink through glass or the enamel of pottery. Lead-crystal glass slowing leaches lead into drink and if Remilia happened to buy any Uranium glass, which became popular during the mid 19th century, and peaked between 1880 to 1920, that would leach uranium. If any pottery uses toxic materials in the enamel that is another source of poisoning.
Potential victims
Sakuya Izayoi and Patchouli Knowledge are the two most human residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Both display symptoms of heavy metal poisoning.
Patchouli is stated to have anemia and weak muscles. Both of these can occur from lead poisoning, though anemia typically takes a very large dose.
Sakuya Izayoi is described as "spacey", which is defined by the Merriam-webster dictionary as a synonym of spaced-out which means "dazed or stupefied by or as if by a narcotic substance,". Given how both mercury and lead mostly affect the nervous system, and both can cause memory impairment, tremors and incoordination, it makes sense that someone suffering from heavy metal poisoning might be compared to someone who is drunk or high.
For more definitive proof that Sakuya has mental difficulties, we should look at the fact that Sakuya does not know what oxygen is. While one might assume that this is just because she lives isolated from the modern world, Oxygen was first isolated before 1604 by Michael Sendivogius, and given a name and recognized as an element in 1777. Oxygen could be an important discovery for her position considering its role in food preservation. Sakuya has had over two centuries to learn that oxygen exists. Keep in mind that she lives with Patchouli Knowledge, a professional scholar, who may have been residing in the mansion for nearly a century. This could suggest serious memory and learning issues, symptoms of both lead and mercury poisoning.
While Sakuya does not display the the delayed reactions or loss of coordination associated with lead and mercury poisoning, her powers over time may prevent this. If she trips and drops something, which might normally cause someone to notice her decreasing coordination, she can just stop time and undo it.
Another interesting, though flawed, possibility is that the fairy maids have heavy metal poisoning as well. The fairy maids are stated numerous times to be bad at their jobs, spending most of their work hours only able to maintain themselves, but were still hired by Sakuya and continue to be employed by Remilia. With symptoms of anemia, weakness, memory loss, pain, lack of coordination and more it's easy to see how lead and/or mercury poisoning could make a maid bad at their job. Fairies in Touhou Project are often compared to children who are especially susceptible to lead poisoning. The fairy maids would probably slowly improve at their jobs since first being hired, and plateau and slowly decrease as increasing heavy metal levels in their blood poison them and affect their work. Perhaps Remilia and Sakuya see this happen with all the maids and assume it's just how maids or fairies work.
While one might object and that youkai would not be affected by human medical conditions like lead or mercury poisoning, there is a tiny bit of precedent for this. There's an exchange in Touhou 19 where Sanae recommends that Mamizou stop smoking so much: "I don't suppose that smoking too much is good for you. Nor is drinking." This, if admittedly stretched, suggests that certain things that are unhealthy for humans may be unhealthy for certain youkai and similar beings as well. Youkai are also affected by alcohol as well and get drunk. While this might be because of the idea that drinking makes you drunk, is it possible that if knowledge of lead and mercury poisoning spread to the humans of Gensokyo, and they started believing that lead makes you sick, that belief might cause certain youkai and related beings to get sick as well?
Problems with this theory
Neither Patchouli nor Sakuya show certain physical symptoms of mercury poisoning: Skin discolouration (usually reddening), hair loss, or peeling of the skin. Let's compare some artwork from Touhou 6:
As we can see, Reimu has the reddest cheeks which is inconsistent with Sakuya and Patchouli having mercury poisoning. However, an interesting connection is that Reimu wears mostly red, and considering it is traditional to paint the Torii gates of shrines vermilion to ward off evil, it is actually more possible than I initially thought that she could have mercury poisoning as well.
Some might object that Patchouli Knowledge, being a youkai mage, might be immune to toxins. Considering how wizards are stated to often have weak bodies due to interaction with dangerous substances, I find this unlikely. One might argue something similar for Sakuya because of her time manipulation, but we only see her use time manipulation consciously, so we aren't sure. The main question would be whether the process that slows her aging also negates most of her bodily functions, so I guess this would depend on whether we see her eat and breath, and since she gets tired from hypoxia in Touhou 18 she must be breathing and is probably susceptible to poison as well.
The main problems I can think with this theory of are with the fairy maids having heavy metal poisoning as well, which was not the main subject. It's been explained that Remilia goes for quantity over quality for her staff, and Sakuya presumably hires anyone with the most basic of skills. However, it could be possible that Remilia goes for quantity over quality because they all end up low quality due to their poisoning. Given that fairies are used to playing and pulling pranks they are probably unsuited to hard work. The reasoning that they might still be affected by poison is rather weak since much of it relies on a single remark from Sanae, who might be wrong. I still found it interesting to consider.
91 notes
·
View notes