#tortilla man and tortilla boy

[deeepnest]

okay even more cats

[pedge-page]

I loved your Mother Who Indulges fic. Never read a lactation kink fic before and the combination of Joel liking the breastmilk so much that he actually gains weight from it was really good.

The way you wrote Joel enjoying the milk, the scene with him sneaking to the refrigerator, getting off on the sensation of his bigger body and then surprised that Reader helps him finish drink off the milk glorious.

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing more fat!Joel feeling good as a bigger man (Has Tommy said anything to Joel about his weight gain?).

I was wondering if you'd like to write a scene where Joel is enjoying a meal, then he has to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants because he's getting uncomfortably full.

Thank you !! I'm glad to have introduced you to some new combination of kinks and concepts for Joel! Idk if you meant for this ask to be smutty (probably not) but my brain just kept writing so I hope you still enjoy!

This can be read with Mother Who Provides and Mother Who Indulges, or as a standalone

Extra Helpings

Fat!Joel x F!Reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, feeding, cockwarming, talks of weight gain, breastfeeding, food play, vaginal fingering, oral f receiving, cum eating, dom!Joel this time around, slight anal fingering, brief daddy kink

18 + ONLY

- - - -

Now that Joel was a few sizes larger than last year prior to your baby being born, neither of you really let it deter your fun. In fact, he seemed to be in a much chipper mood than before. Having more energy with you and the baby, smiling bigger and brighter, and --not that its a big deal or anything--much much hornier.

Its as though before Joel wasn't really giving himself the right kind of nutrients. Just eating enough to get by, not really paying attention to vitamins or fats or anything.

When he looks in the mirror now, he feels... good. In a very odd sense. With his near beer gut middle pertruding out, he would not even come close to "fit" physically, though his line of work still gets his heart pulsing and muscles flexing better than most his age. But the sheer effort it takes to get up, the way he lumbers and feels the weight of himself shift...its like his ego is blooming physically. He's a bigger man for it.

Joel tucks his hands underneath the swell, giving himself a good lift. Shit, he really has gotten thick. Bouncing lightly on his heels , he turns to his side in the mirror just to see the vast amount of space his profile now takes up.

It makes his loins ache. Especially how you were begging him to fuck you missionary, feeling his new body up and caging you beneath him with no room to escape but to take it all...

Hes gonna get a boner before dinner even starts.

He's gotta say, beastmilk was like super serum, and not just for babies but for grown men too. Now that he was bigger, that also meant a bigger man with a bigger appetite. and you were very happy to indulge.

Joel plops down heavily at the dinner table. You had been chopping some taco ingredients and marinating chicken all day, so he was exceedingly excited for dinner. rubbing his hands together, you set down his plate of 10 warmed tortillas and enough fixings to feed a large family.

He smiles back up to you as you stroke his rosy cheeks. "There's more on the stove if you run out, I'll heat it up for you."

He kisses your palm. "You're so good to me."

you giggle and take your seat. "Eat up, big boy."

And he did. Joel woofed down 8 tacos easily in the first few minutes, grease and bits of melted cheese dribbling down his fingers and wrists before slurping it back up and sucking his digits clean. You ended up making half dozen more before he started to slow down, adjusting himself in the chair.

Joel coughed, raising himself uncomfortably then sitting back down with a wiggle. "Shit, m'gettin--kinda full."

"Don't force yourself, baby, when you're done, you're done--"

Instead, your husband leans back in his seat, his tightened flannel shirt riding up his ridiculously pronounced belly. he skillfully slits hiis fingers below his pudge, and the click of his belt comes undone, followed by a relieving pop of his jean button. "ughghhyeah--" he groans, his belly, no longer restrained, doing the rest of the work by forcing the zipper down fully so that all his extra stuffed gut can breathe.

Your jaw is still open, eyes refusing the depart as you watch it bounce and settle. He's a little proud of himself by your dumbfounded look, smirking and wiping his mouth with a napkin. He gives you a show by sitting up and letting you marvel at the little extra jiggle.

"What? I like ya cookin," he chides, getting you to blink and resettle your focus a little higher again. It doesn't help how blown wide your pupils are, the way you shift and clench your thighs. His eyes glaze down your body, licking his lower lip slowly as if he's about to have his main course. Palming his growing bulge, he grunts, "How bout desert?"

"I--made--made you--uh--" your face was warm, legs squeezing together, unable to stop your gaze from drifting downward every so often at the enormous swell in the middle and his brazen display of pants drawn open at the dinner table.

Joel's large chunky hand glides up along your thigh, the heat of it making your insides churn deliciously. he keeps riding it up, up, up, under your little shorts and towards your center.

"Can ya spread for me? Always make me such nice things to eat. Can't stop eatin what ya put in front of me. Wanna give this one a taste," he whispers darkly.

You part your legs as two fingers slither through your soaked folds. Despite your gasp, you spread wider, letting Joel play and pat your wet juices. He curls his fingers inward, scooping some of your arousal before withdrawing and shoving the sticky solution into his mouth with a moan.

"mmmm oh babygirl, that's so sweet," he hums, eyeing you from the side with a devious smirk as he boldly licks and sucks his fat digits clean. He smacks his lips with each one, savoring the salty tangly flavor--the best taste in the whole world.

"Ya said you made me somethin too?" he asks softly, rocking back and patting his belly casually as if he wasnt just fingering you under the table and sucking your juices clean.

"i--cookies..." you choke, wondering why you feel so empty now. "I wanna feed you cookies."

He shurgs and gestures for you to get on with it, and you don't wait a second. Stumbling into the table slightly before gathering the fresh warm plate you had just baked from the oven.

Joel claps his hands together like a giddy child. With his legs spread wide, you straddle his thighs, your stomached pressed against his lower belly. He wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you flush, whining as the hardened, wet print of his clothed cock kisses your warm pussy.

"Take this off." He helps you shuck off your top, leaving your swollen breasts exposed. "oohhh yeah..." he rolls his tongue, clicking at the beautiful sight of you naked on his lap. You can feel his hands instinctually take their place on your tits, cupping and massaging them in his beefy grips.

You giggle, moaning a little before taking a larger chocolate chip cookie and presenting it to his greedy lips. Joel opens his mouth as wide as possible with a dramatic "aaahhh" as you slot it in for a generous bite.

"Milk n' Cookies!" he grumles through his chewing.

You tilt your head in confusion , were it not for the way he opens his mouth again, a few crumbs spilling down your chest, ducks his head lower and latches on to your breast.

"mm--mm--mm" he hums loudly between each gulp of your sweet milk.

"Fuck," you whisper, closing your eyes. Your hips work on their own, grinding down on his bulge to relieve the pressure that was building in your stomach.

He pulls away with a pop, kissing the little pebble of milk left from your nipple. "How bout Milk n Cookies with a good ol cockwarm for me?" he suggests, gripping your hips and humping you harder against him.

"Ah huh," you babble, using your free hand to pull his cock from his boxer slit and shove it underneath your shorts, aligning to your slit.

"There we go-that's it baby--that's it--sink right down--thereyago!"

You both sigh contently. With his stomach and your cunt filled to the brim, you kiss his nose lovingly before getting back to his cookie munching and titty sucking routine. all while slowing bouncing on his throbbing member.

"Joel--I can't--can't do it--"

he finishes his last swallow of your milk before helping set the plate down on the table behind you. "Ya did it, baby. Let Daddy take care of the rest."

He plants his feet flat on the floor, leaning back slightly, gripping your ass and thrusting upwards.

you fall forward, a moaning, useless mess as Joel uses you like a little fleshlight.

Sweaty and pressed fully against his large frame, comforted by the extra fat now built there, you hug him tightly as he pounds up into your squelching pussy.

"Like that, huh? Like gettin me all fat, every fuckin' day, just so you can sit on my cock and ride me?"

Yeah! Yeah fuck--fuck yes Joel--love it, love you so much!"

"Yeah? Everyone keeps askin me what I been up to, gettin this big. told em my wife feeds me, s'all. Think they're jealous, baby. They want a good little housewife who lets em suck her fat tits all day fill them up. Ain't sharin ya with no one."

You nod into his shoulder, cross eyed and too blissed to answer anymore.

"Joel forces his thumb into your mouth. Saliva and drool coat it sloppily before he draws away and spanks your ass cheek, smiling as it jiggles. The room is filled with skin slapping and your babbling pants.

His thumb brushes over your butt, inching closer to your other unoccupied hole. He presses down with the tip, the pressure againdt the rim of your hole sends jolts of pressure. Theres a moment of panic that settles over you: Joel was always blessed with strong, delft large fingers. But since his bodily change, they've only gotten proportionally thicker, ans that means extra stretch for you. He works around in circular motions before being able to slit inside, guiding you up and down with his thumb in your ass as anchor.

"Tommy even makin' comments. Kid thinks he knows shit. Told em, I said I was eating pussy, drinkin' milk, and gettin my cock sucked every hour, every day, and ya cooked me whatever the fuck I wanted. Does that sound like a bad bet? Hell no, fuckin' heaven is what is it."

"Joel, baby, I'm bout to--"

he lifts the two of you up and sets your back flat against the table, spreading your legs wide. Joel growls like a beast before letting his mouth latch on to your mound, eating you out.

its all tongue and slurping and sucking on your twitching clit. You whimper over and over again until you're gripping his hair and cumming, pistoning your pussy into his jaw as he drinks your orgasm for all its worth.

"That's my good Momma," he gasps, twisting and scissoring his thick digits deep inside you and slamming your spot repeatedly. All while his tongue swirls in fast circles around your swollen clit.

Your head rolls to the side, still heaving from your high as Joel jerks his red, beating member to completion over your body. "FUCK!" He grunts, spewing ropes of his creamy seed all over your tits.

You yelp and laugh when he crashes on top of you to lick it all clean, sucking his salty cum and your sweet cream all in one go like a messy dog lapping at peanut butter. The newly padded layers of his body cushion you securly under him, not that you minded at all. In fact, you welcomed the warm, heavy feel of him surrounding you, strong and secure, hugging him close as the two of you suck air, breathing in the table of cookies, tacos and sex.

he plants his lips between the junction of your breastbone. "You're always gonna be my favorite snack, ya know that?"

- - - -

taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist

[gutsgrowingup]

klance hc because im tweaking over them rn .

lance and keith can both make food, but lance cooks better. ive seen so many people go “lance cant cook” “keith can cook lance hardly can” BLAU BLAH BLAH!!!!!! lance can cook legitimate food, shit that’ll make you want more like he is WIFEY material. this man is an angel, an absolute master of cooking. desserts? that… doesnt matter. he can make basic stuff, but the elaborate things? hardly. (hunk helps him out most of the time when it comes 2 that, he is a god send.)

keith makes STRUGGLE MEALS. this boy will grab a soft tortilla, slap some ketchup, cheese, and then microwave it and call it a “pizza wrap”. he genuinely thinks its the best thing ever. if ur ever in a survival situation and u need edible food, hes ur guy. hes got that. but he cant really cook legitimate food for shit. he will make a basic sandwich, serve it to lance, and then call himself “housewife material”. he microwaves his tea. makes his hot chocolate with water. drinks sink water. what is wrong with him, no one fucking knows!!!!!!

[tiredfox64]

I already sent this ask but accidentally sent it before I could fully type it out, I apologize 💀

But I was wondering if you could write a Lin Kuei x reader where she finds a stray kitten outside and takes it in to nurse it back to health. She probably keeps the kitten hidden in her room. Tomas probably finds out about it first and she’s just like “please don’t tell Bi-Han” So the two of them help raise the kitten and try to keep it a secret from Kuai Liang and Bi-Han.

Thank you 🩶💛💙

Calico Critters

Yip notes: No need to apologize! Ah yes, the cat distribution system is working just right. It been working for me for years

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader

Warnings‼️: I hope you’re not allergic to cats

You’ve always wanted to own a pet of your own. It didn’t matter if it was a shaggy dog or a wimpy tortoise. You wanted to love and care for something when the world could not give it to them. But your family was not big on owning pets. They would tell you they were too much responsibility and cost a lot of money which you understood. You thought you would have a chance to care for an animal when you were an adult but that hope dwindled quickly. Bi-Han would not allow you to be distracted by even a moss ball. Unless that pet was a powerful stallion, you weren't getting anything.

But the universe doesn’t listen to Bi-Han. The universe gives when the time is right and that time is now. It is your destiny and right to own a pet. And what better way to start your loving journey than with the sweet love and attitude of a kitty cat.

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You just finished practicing for the day, the winds pricking your skin even with how hot you were. If you stay outside for any longer you’ll risk getting arthritis in your joints. And boy is that hell in the winter and summertime.

You were stopped by a sound that you thought was the wind at first. A squeaking that was unfamiliar to you. There was nothing in Artika that could make that sound. Not even a seal would make this high-pitched squeaking noise. You followed the direction of the noise, bringing you closer to a fern bush. You moved the leaves out of the way and came across interesting colors. Orange, black, and white with a pair of green eyes. Oh my goodness, it’s a kitten! The poor thing was shivering and being pushed by the wind. It seemed to be alone. There was no mother cat around or even any siblings. This one might have been the runt of the litter.

“Oh, you poor thing.” You said softly as you lightly picked up the kitten in your hands.

It, or more like she since this was clearly a calico, immediately started nuzzling in your hand to gain some warmth. You couldn’t do much since your hands were starting to freeze as well but it was better than the rough ground and thin ferns. You started looking around to see if there was anyone else around. There were luckily none to see what you were about to do. You moved your uniform around to find a spot to stuff the kitten into. The only place that worked was your chest area. You let the kitten snuggle up against your uniform as you started making your way inside.

Your arms were crossed over your chest area as you took quick steps toward your room. It didn’t matter if someone had something to ask you or was asking if you were alright, you had to get this kitten somewhere safe. You had to ignore Bi-Han as well. That was a risky choice, you know how much that man hates when no one listens to him. There were other things on your mind.

Finally, you got back inside your warm room and let the kitten out. She was still shivering but it reduced. You grabbed the softest blanket you had before rolling her up in it. She was like a burrito in the softest tortilla ever. The squeaking sound she produced ceased and she finally opened her eyes fully since there was no snow pelting them.

They were as green as the fern you took her from. Her irises were not slit but like big orbs. There was already a connection made. You are her savior, her new mother. This world is too cruel for such a pure being to live in. You must protect and keep this calico. She needs you. If you try giving her to another family you’ll break her heart.

Have I guilted you enough?

Screw Bi-Han and his rules! You’re keeping her. You just need to keep her hidden. Good luck with that.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Your family was right, pets are a big responsibility. You had no issue with getting supplies for your kitty like litter, toys, and food. But goodness that little mouth can be loud.

Meow! Meow! Meow!

She never stops. Her mind is too small and fragile to realize that she is creating sound herself. She speaks but is there truly meaning behind her words? No. Her brain functions but not fully. It will still be a while before she can comprehend that she has control over her mouth. For now, she will scream for the gods to listen to her cries. Or she will just scream at you to feed her more fish.

You tried bottle-feeding her some formula to help calm her down. It works for a little before she screams. She drinks, she enjoys, she screams. What more does she want, she doesn’t even understand trigonometry. Why is she having a crisis?

Meow! Meow! Meow!

Tomas stopped walking in the hallway. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why did he hear a high-pitched meow coming from your room? What are you doing in there?

He walked closer to the door and placed his ear against it. He heard you speaking to someone, saying that they needed to quiet down and that no one could find out about them. There were more meows after that. He’s not going to wait for the answer to hit him in the face. He’s gonna investigate this for himself.

“What is that noise?” Tomas asked as he opened the door. His eyes widened once he saw something in a blanket and a bottle in your hand.

There is no easy way to explain this. You slowly turned around to show the colorful kitty in your arms. It was a relief to Tomas to see that you weren’t holding a baby but it’s still confusing. He was about to ask you why you have a kitten but you already started begging.

“Please don’t tell Bi-Han. You know he’ll tell me to get rid of her and I just can’t do that. Just look at her.” You held up the kitty burrito in front of Tomas.

“Where did you find a cat? When did you bring it here?” There were a thousand questions running through Tomas’ head but he did take a moment to look at her.

For once she quieted down. Her big, green eyes looked into Tomas’ soul. Those eyes were begging him not to snitch. They beg him to love her, care for her, to be a father to her. You were right, Bi-Han would tell you to get her out. Her small size or pure eyes would not win over his heart as it was doing with Tomas’ at that moment. Her little paws began clawing out of the blanket before stretching them to the sky. Her paws spread out and he could see the light pink toe beans that were so tempting to squish. Ah, it’s just too cute!

“You still need to tell me how you found it.” He reminded you.

You gave him all the details. You told him how you found her, what you did after, when you got all the supplies, and how long you’ve had her. You’ve only had her for a week and she’s beginning to desire more solids. You’ve been taking some of your fish from dinner and bringing it back to your room to feed her. Somehow no one has noticed until this point. You were doing well, she’s just a loudmouth.

“You seem to have your hands full. It’s like you became a mother overnight.” He joked.

She started taking big, wobbly steps on your bed. She climbs over the lumps in your sheets with determination. Her wobbly legs carried her to Tomas who was resting on your bed as you relayed everything to him. She screams and she is heard. Tomas laughs a little before trying to pet her. For some reason, she falls and begins to roll off the bed. He panics, rightfully so, as he tries to catch her in his big hands.

“Nooo, why would she do that?” He asked like he was truly heartbroken. He might have actually been heartbroken.

“She’s dramatic.” You replied.

Now she’s purring in his hands like she didn’t just cause him to have a heart attack. His thumb lightly pet her head and flicks her ears back and forth.

“Wait, did you even name her? You never once mentioned a name?” He pointed out.

“I was more concerned about hiding her than naming her. But I guess now would be a good time to think of a name.”

You two sat there for a good few minute trying to think of a name for this little scoundrel. This rapscallion who lies upon Tomas’ hands and receives pets from him. What to name a unique creature like her?

“How about Ionnah? I think it’s unique just like her.” Tomas suggested.

“Ionnah, huh? That sounds cool! I love that for her. Ionnah it is.”

She was already getting used to the name considering her head perked up once you repeated it. Now this secret lies with you and Tomas. You two are responsible for her. You both must hide her and care for her. Congrats, you have become cat parents.

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She was easier to manage with the help of Tomas. He brought her more food and since he had more freedom to leave he took the time to get cat food for Ionnah. He even started to teach her to be a hunter like him. And by teaching that means letting her chase a cat toy in the shape of a mouse. Yup, that’s a lethal predator right there. She’ll be taking down some of the clansmen in no time.

But you two could not be more obvious. You do realize Kuai Liang sees all, right? You can’t hide anything from that man he will always get suspicious of something. He’s been seeing you both whisper to each other and giggle about stuff before sneaking into your room. Tomas always shuts the door quickly and locks it. Are you two…dating?!

Oh nah, he needs to know now. Why would his brother hide anything like that from him? He doesn’t like that at all. Kuai Liang kept a close eye on Tomas, almost mad dogging him until he would say something. It didn’t work because you and Tomas weren’t dating. You’re just parenting together which could be like dating if you fancy that.

Ah whatever, Kuai Liang needs to sharpen his kusarigama. And you both need to figure out WHERE THE FUCK YOU LEFT IONNAH!

“I didn’t realize I left the door slightly open. I was so tired after that mission.” You were crying into Tomas’ arms after you couldn’t find Ionnah.

“It’s going to be alright. We’ll find her. She couldn’t have gotten far with those tiny legs of hers.” He tried soothing you before taking your hand to look around the temple.

Ionnah was on a journey of her own. She may be small but she is mighty. She was looking around for some extra food since you and Tomas figured out you were feeding her fish multiple times a day without knowing. She likes her carp. But her green eyes saw something else that she was interested in and her slit pupils became wide.

She saw the rope that was connected to Kuai Liang’s kusarigama. The other end with the kunai on it was hanging off the table, the rope occasionally waving when Kuai Liang would move it to sharpen the other side. Those hunting practices Tomas was giving her kicked in and she bolted toward the rope with her claws out. She pounced on it, sinking her claws into it. She is so light that Kuai Liang didn’t feel anything pulling on his weapon. He only noticed something was wrong when he heard you sniffling near the doorway. Tomas’ eyes were angled down in shock as he was unsure of what to do to not make Kuai Liang look down.  Ah, too late he just did. That was when he noticed the furball made of white, black, and orange gnawing at his rope.

“Huh? How did that get here?” He questioned before leaning down and grabbing her by the back of the neck.

She immediately let go of the rope in response to the grab. Kuai Liang lifted her up to his face to get a better look. She looked perfectly healthy, too healthy to have just strolled into the Lin Kuei temple. Something ain’t connecting. He looked past Ionnah to see Tomas coming towards him with his hands out as if asking to pass her to him.

“Can we have her back please?” Tomas asked softly like that would stop Kuai Liang from asking questions.

“Explain.” He said bluntly.

“Okay.”

You went over what happened again. You added on the fact that you begged Tomas not to say anything and he agreed to help you take care of Ionnah. All the while she continuously purrs in Kuai Liang’s lap as he pets her. She loves how warm he is. He’s like a sentient toasty blanket to her.

“I agree that Bi-Han would have told you to get rid of her. I would have agreed with him but now I see that she has not caused any distractions in your two. You both have been training still and doing missions. She has caused no issues.” Kuai Liang said as he looked down at her.

“So you won’t tell Bi-Han?” You wanted to double-check.

“No, I will not. But you might need extra help seeing that this slip up of yours could have gone wrong if she made her way to Bi-Han. I would like to help out. Plus, she is adorable.” He smiled softly as he smoothed out her fur.

This was awesome! Three parents for this little lady. One who is a 24/7 warm blanket for her, one who is constantly playing with her, and one who is a mother at all hours of the day. She is surrounded by so much love and warmth. Hopefully, no bitter cold will envelop her again.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You three have spent a lot of time in your room now. Every day after dinner you all go to your room to spend time with Ionnah. Every time the door opens she gets up from where she is and runs up to you while meowing. Her eyes are like boba every time she looks at you and her tail waves back and forth. She is that boost of serotonin that you all need.

Other than her mouse toy, Kuai Liang has figured out she loves rope. She loves climbing it and gnawing at it. He got her some rope that didn’t have sharp pieces of metal at both ends. She’ll start getting the zoomies when Tomas and Kuai Liang start playing with her. She will switch between the rope and the mouse before doing circles. You’d be there laughing at her cute antics. She’s gotten bigger and stronger since you first found her shivering in the cold. It warms your heart to see her enjoying her life with so much love around her. This is a better life than being stuck outside.

You’re still too suspicious. It’s the same thing except Bi-Han has noticed now. He notices how there are more whispers between you, Tomas, and Kuai Liang. He’s seen you all rush into your room. Though he didn’t come to the same conclusion Kuai Liang did, he was still suspicious. He believed the issue was in your room and he was right. That’s why he made you three go out on a mission so he could snoop around your room.

You were concerned about leaving Ionnah alone since Tomas and Kuai Liang would be with you. But Kuai Liang told you to lock the door and there would be no problems. He or his brother could help unlock the door once you guys get back. You thought that would be reasonable so you accepted the mission from Bi-Han. You did what you were instructed and locked the door. But do you think a lock will stop your grandmaster? Never.

When you guys left he immediately made his way towards your room. Of course, the door was locked but Bi-Han was quick to think of a solution. He made a pick made of hard ice to jam into the doorknob and it worked like a charm. He opened the door and Ionnah thought it was her parents. She leaped off your bed and began running towards the door until she saw Bi-Han. Her ears immediately folded down as she backed up. Her tail went down and she made that whining noise to alert that she did not feel safe. He is not her father.

Bi-Han’s eyebrows furrow in frustration as he watches her give him warning signs. She sure had an attitude.

“A calico…interesting…”

“How could this happen again?” You started crying.

When you three came back and Kuai Liang tried to pick the lock he realized it was already unlocked. You three couldn’t find Ionnah anywhere. Not under the sheets, the bed, in the closet, under the dresser, or even in the drawers. You all ripped your room apart and could not find her anywhere.

“Do you think she could have snuck outside?” Tomas asked Kuai Liang.

“That is impossible, she hates the cold. She would not willingly go outside even to chase after us. She has to be in the temple still.” He said.

You all scattered around the place trying to find even a hint of her. There was no fur anywhere to hint at her being in a certain area. She did not respond to her name or even pspspsps. No meows or screams from her. You all met up in the middle again and none of you had any good news. But that’s when Tomas noticed something strange. He pointed to the fish pieces on the floor. There was a path of them all leading to…Bi-Han’s office! Oh gosh, he found her!

You three burst into his office expecting him to be holding Ionnah captive. Instead, you saw her lying on his desk while he worked on some paperwork. He sees he has to order more fish for the clan. Ionnah immediately picked her head up and jumped off his desk to run up to you. You picked her up and gave her many kisses, thanking the gods for keeping her safe surprisingly.

“I expect to hear that your mission was completed,” Bi-Han said casually.

You all were shocked. It was like he didn’t notice the kitten that was once on his desk.

“Brother, are you not going to ask-“

“Ask about the cat that you have been hiding away even though I told you that you were not allowed to own any pets,” Bi-Han said with a clear attitude.

You looked down all guiltily even though you have proven to be able to take care of a kitten. Tomas and Kuai Liang were not happy with their brother and his cruel tone. They were still confused about why he even had her in the room. He was ready to answer that though.

“I was wondering where the runt of the litter was. I was surprised to see it was a calico since they are rare. She does not look like her mother but she does have her fluffy coat.”

This confused you more until Bi-Han got up and walked over to a corner of his office. That’s when you notice the sort of fort made from blankets. He lifted one of the corners to show a bunch of kittens and one cat. That’s Ionnah’s family! She really was the runt of the litter!

You all got a closer look and saw that the mother was a Serbian cat with light gray fur. Her babies seemed to be a mix of Serbian and Russian blues. Some had darker fur while others had lighter fur. What they all had in common was the mother’s fluffy fur that was well-kept and her green eyes. Yup, that’s definitely Ionnah’s mother. Bi-Han placed the blanket back over to allow them to rest.

So Bi-Han was the one who took the rest of the family in? Who would have thought! Not even his brothers would have guessed that. What was he supposed to do, leave them out there to freeze to death? He can be evil and cruel but he’s not a monster. If he can manage a clan he can also manage a litter of kittens. There is enough fish to go around even for Ionnah which was the only way he could get her to leave your room. She would not allow his cold hands to pick her up.

“But I thought we weren’t allowed to have pets.”

“You are not allowed to have pets but I am allowed. I’m the grandmaster, it is my choice. Plus, they are useful when it comes to getting rid of mice.” The second point makes sense but the first is bitchy of Bi-Han.

“So…does that mean you are keeping Ionnah for yourself?” You asked in a sad tone, thinking Bi-Han would keep her for himself since he is the only one allowed to have pets around here.

“Why would I keep her when she does not allow me to touch her? There is no point. You can keep her but remember she belongs to the Lin Kuei.” It’s important that he adds in that last part.

You were extremely relieved to hear that and so were Tomas and Kuai Liang. That means Ionnah is still yours and you all get to do whatever with her. She can live with you and have other cats to spend time with if she chooses to. She’ll get all the fish she wants and if there are any mice around that’s an extra treat. Good thing Tomas was already training her. She’ll be the best mice hunter the Lin Kuei has ever had!

Yap notes: Speaking of cats here's my co-writer who sometimes distracts me:

Also I do have calico critters that my bestie gifted me for Christmas which I gifted her a cat set as well:

Also that card in the middle was cause i didn’t wanna put a divider or do a transition cause i got lazy and I just want more of my ice cream cake. Adiós!

[mikkomacko]

Imagine nicos reaction when one of the boys accidentally hits reader while they’re messing around playing and maybe she gets a black eye or something, it’d totally be Jack lol

“When do I hit record?”

Jack rolls his eyes, cheeks puffed with a mouthful of water. He looks at you in disbelief, motioning to Nico as if to say ‘really? This is your man?’

You laugh, water bottle in hand and turn to your boyfriend. Eyebrows furrowed in focus, his large hands hold you phone up to record the latest TikTok you and Jack wanted to do.

Ever since the car incident Nico insists on being present for any videos you try to make with the boys. Which works out because he’s camera shy but makes a really good tripod.

“Just as soon as I take a drink of water,” you explain, trying not to laugh at him. Jack and him went over what to do extensively, but it’s cute that Nico is so concerned with getting it right.

“Ok,” he nods, and you take a deep breath, turning back to Jack. Lifting the bottle to your lips, you fill your cheeks with water and set it back onto the counter.

Hoping to god Nico hit record, you wait for Jack to nod. He’s already trying not to spit out his water, blue eyes shining with laughter and you pull back your arm. Swinging forward you smack him with the tortilla in your hand, doubling over when he makes a choked noise.

Water drips messily from between your lips but you haven’t broken yet, so you straighten out again. Tense, you watch anxiously as Jack winds up too and smacks you with his tortilla.

Muffled giggles and water dripping everywhere, you and Jack hit each other again. It’s going well, better than you thought and you’re actually surprised Jack hasn’t spit water all over you. So you’re kind of off guard when Jack winds up again and swings for your face.

Except in his suppressed hysterical laughter he miscalculated and instead of hitting you in the cheek with his tortilla, he’s balled fist catches you in the eye.

It’s not a hard it really, just enough to have you seeing a flash of stars when you flinch away from him. You spit out your water, spraying it all over Jack as you drop your tortilla and grab at the sore spot on your head.

Jack chokes on his water, coughing and trying to blabber something to you. Not that he gets a chance because your human tripod has put the phone down and stepped between you two.

“I’m ok, I’m ok,” you promise, blinking a few times as Nico comes into focus. He grabs your face, fingers gentle as he tilts your chin up to look at him. Even now your eyelid feels swollen, throbbing and tender.

Jack must have caught you just right.

Nico doesn’t look angry, more annoyed as he softly prods at your face. You wince, grabbing at his wrists.

“S’gonna bruise,” he mutters, then he’s turning to Jack, hands on his hips. The boy is still sucking in ragged breathes, trying to calm down after hacking up water. His cheeks are red, eyes wide and terrified.

“Nico it was an accident,” he says, voice raw and begging. “M’sorry, I am really. I didn’t mean-“

“Shut up,” Nico interrupts, reaching behind him for you. You let him pull you forward, right in front of Jack who’s looking at you with puppy dog eyes. “Say sorry to her.”

“I’m sorry y/n,” Jack apologizes, earnest.

“It’s ok Jack,” you assure, laughing slightly. “Really it’s not bad.”

Jack winces. “It looks bad.”

That has Nico reaching over your shoulder, grabbing at Jack’s collar and he tries to scramble away from Nico. He’s too strong though, moving around the both of you until he’s standing behind Jack, large hands on his shoulders.

“Nico please, no. What are you- I’m sorry!” Jack begs and Nico just nods at you over the top of his head.

“Your turn baby,” he says and Jack freezes.

“W-what?”

Nico grip on him tightens. “You hit her, she hits you.”

Jack lets out a whining moan, squeezing his eyes shut and flinching back into Nico’s body. Every muscle in his body tightens, wound up and waiting. Your boyfriend nods at you again, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

Giggling, you ball up your fist and swing, not hard enough to actually hurt him but Jack yelps with you catch him in the cheekbone. Nico releases him and he leaps away, holding his cheek as he hides on the far side of the counter.

“That really hurt!” He cries, looking at you, scandalized.

“Oh you’re fine,” Nico grumbles, taking ahold of your face again. He examines it, eyebrows pinching in annoyance as he strokes over your eyebrow. “Lucky it wasn’t me that took a swing at you.”

Jack huffs, the red spot on his cheekbone shining against his pale skin and you giggle. Nico chuckles too, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Let’s get you some ice baby.” He moves to the fridge, and you follow behind him, pleased to be under the watchful eye of Dr. Nico.

“Me too please?” Jack asks. Nico glares over his shoulder at the boy. You don’t have to turn around to know Jack has scrambled his way out of the kitchen.

[spookyycider]

Sugar and Honey

(Imagine if you will, in a different universe, that Billy runs a coffee and book shop, and you always meander in looking for his comfort, but he wonders if you love him, or the comfort he provides. But he can never deny you. Kind of fluffy. I couldn’t sleep so here we are.)

You fell into his bed yawning, eyes heavy. You felt dozy after too much wine at dinner, your cheeks warm. The rain pitter pattered against the windows of his apartment above the bookshop and coffee shop as New York got ready for evening.

Somewhere you heard jazz music, and you yawned again. A band across the street.

You felt his fingers pulling your nylons off tenderly, as you buried the side of your face into his pillows sighing, the world seemed too bright. His hand squeezed your ankle, moving up to your knee, before he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your mouth, lingering.

He began unbraiding your hair, the scent of his cologne wafting your way, making you sink into weightlessness. He hummed as you rubbed your eyes, the soft pulling on your scalp as he worked, making you feel safe.

He set your hair tie down, and put some lip balm on the tip of his finger, dabbing it on your lips.

“Wish we could grow old together.” You slurred as he closed the lip balm.

He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Why can’t we?”

“A beautiful man like you won’t be single forever.” You said quietly, as his fingers stroked your hair.

He kissed your forehead. “You’re the only woman I’d want to grow old with, sweetheart.”

And your heart hoped.

You blinked, “Come to bed, Billy goat.” You said softly, patting the spot next to you, tasting the balm, something berry as you rubbed your lips together.

Billy’s heart fluttered at your term of endearment. “I gotta close up shop.” He said, setting the lip balm down.

“Let Frank.” You said, pulling on him, fingers tugging on his hips.

And god, he couldn’t deny the comfort of your arms around him, a boy who’d never been comforted, who’d always reached for a hand that was never there, reached for yours.

He kicked off his combat boots, crawling against you, pressing his face in the crook of your neck, the sweet scent of the rain on your hair, soothing to him.

You wrapped your arms around him, tangling your fingers in his hair, making him hum.

You were here, and so was he.

x

@e-dubbc11 @kayhi808 @bookloverfilmoholic @tortilla-chips-and-allioli @cant-help-simping @milea @thejanecampaign @briannareneea985 @aoi-targaryen @firequeensposts @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @snowkestrel @oops89 @idaofinfinity @rosaleenablack @zz-kennedy

[flowery-laser-blasts]

🐉🧧🧨新年快乐💖恭喜发财🧨🧧🐉

Happy Lunar New Year and ring in the year of Drakk-- I mean, Drakg-- the Dragon!

There's a LOT going on here so let me elaborate: - Mama Lipsky invited Dr. Drakken and Shego to come to GO City since it's been a while since their last get-together and she wanted to see what these 'Chinese line dances' are all about. - Drakken didn't know about this plan until two hours before the get-together, because Shego thought it would be more fun to see him panic around to get ready. As a last-minute revenge plot, he rang up GO-tower (good thing it's in the phonebook) and asked if Hego, Mego, and the Wegos were up for a house visit after lunch. Hego instead suggested that they could all meet up at a restaurant for dinner as a fun surprise for Shego. - The possibles coincidentally are also at the restaurant as a "Thank you for helping my boys out when his friends couldn't make it to the lion dance performance." "No big, really! It was an honor to help you all out with this!" "And these lion pants! They're so stretchy and elastic and they don't fall off even after dangling around on top of a tall pole! So say. Are cassava chips like the Asian equivalent of Tortilla chips? Because my man, do I have a spectacular idea coming up!" thus Ron rushed off into the kitchen to make a... well, sort of chips, noodles dish (he ran out to Bueno nacho when he couldn't handle the 'spice' of the cassava.) and well yeah.... 'Toodles' (Tortilla Chip Noodles) was born. Kim being left alone was then spotted by... "Drewbie? Isn't that your friend Kim?" "No." "Yeah, look it's Kim! The girl who helped you and Shego save the world? Yoohoo! Kimberly!! Over here, grab a seat dear! Really Drew, I still can't believe you lied to me about being a radio talkshow doctor instead of a secret service agent training and inspiring the next generation of heroes! Really, you can trust me to not tell others about it." "Yeah, how could you ever lie to your own mother about that, Drewbie." - Meanwhile, James found out that Jim and Tim had this idea of making an actual Dragon 'fly' by the power of science and some spare rocket parts in their dad's car. - Motor Ed simply heard the words 'get-together' from his aunt and invited himself over.

I hope everyone (who celebrates it) has a great time and may this year be a great one for all of us! <3 <3 <3

[k-marzolf]

fic idea—you live with Billy and one night he hears screaming/rustling/heavy breathing from your room. thinking there’s an intruder or some kind of danger, he breaks in but you’re having a nightmare. and then comfort.

love love LOVE your work btw! no worries if you’re busy 💗

Hi, Nonnie! I’m sorry it took a bit to respond, but I actually really like how this came out. I don’t know if you wanted roommate or established relationship. But I went with roommates and Billy is fresh outta the marines. Thank you for this request, I really enjoyed it,p!

@e-dubbc11 @terry2227 @kayhi808 @bookloverfilmoholic @milea @zz-kennedy @briannareneea985 @thejanecampaign @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @firexfate @firequeensposts @danzer8705 @ittybxttykxttytxtty @tortilla-chips-and-allioli @cant-help-simping @aoi-targaryen @snowkestrel @idaofinfinity @oops89 @littleblackcatinwonderland

Clementines.

581 words.

Billy dug through the pantry at two in the morning, sweats around his hips loosely, his hoodie smelling like your perfume. You always stole it, claiming it was just warm. He always got like this at night, always wanting to snack, especially on something sweet.

He opened the fridge to get the bowl of frosting you had made for cake, but you wouldn’t notice that he’d used some for his graham crackers he thought, like a child stealing sweets from a parent.

In this case his roommate.

He groaned as he stuck it in his mouth. In the marines he was never allowed this, all he had were shitty premade meals.

He dipped it again, relishing in your talent for making him grow fat with your cooking, and stopped halfway, swearing he heard something, his time in the marines made him hyper vigilant. And then he heard it again, you were crying, sounding like you couldn’t breathe. He set the bowl and crackers down and moved toward your bedroom.

He wasn’t good at comfort, he wasn’t emotional, and it made him uncomfortable. The boy in him wasn’t comforted, how could he extend it without having received it? But he understood nightmares, and sometimes he’d wished someone had comforted him.

He saw you lying on the bed as he opened the door, you were crying, the white lights of your skinny “Charlie Brown’ Dollar Store Christmas tree illuminating your tear stricken face.

Snow was picking up outside as he climbed in next to you as you heaved. “Can’t breathe.” Your body wracked with shivers.

“Don’t let him do that to you. Don’t let him win.” Billy said roughly, gripping your hip and pulling you closer. You smelled like clementines, like summer.

Your eyes fluttered, clutching Billy’s hoodie. “Can I come closer?” You asked, breathlessly.

Billy wiped your tears away tenderly, “Yeah, mouse.” He husked.

And so you did, pressing yourself into his side. “I dreamt of my uncle.”

Billy watched the snow fall, it seemed Jack Frost had visited early, “I know.”

You shivered, tangling your legs with his, pressing a kiss to his throat. “I thought I was gonna die. But then I heard your voice.”

“I gotta ka-bar with his name on it.” Billy said hotly into your hair.

“He’s a drunkard. He’s not worth it. He’s an old man who never dealt with his childhood. He’s hurting, too.” You said, quietly. He would never understand your compassion for those who’d hurt you.

“I don’t give a fuck, he hurt you so he’s on my shit list.” He shivered as your cold fingers slid up his hoodie, fingers playing with the hair there at his belly button.

“Oh, Billy. You’re trying.” You said, pressing your fingers harder into his skin.

He didn’t know what to say to comfort you. “I like your hair, it shines in your Christmas lights.” He mumbled, pressing his chin to your head.

You laughed understandingly, and said; “I like the frosting on your hoodie.

He huffed, heart skipping a beat. The wind beat against the window, and he took his finger and wiped the frosting off and pressed his finger to your lips.

Your mouth parting, tasting the sweetness of the sugar, and the bitterness of his finger. His eyes looked pitch black watching you, the way the curve of your breasts pressed against him.

“Good girl.” He husked, watching you.

And the feeling of warmth and safety soon replaced the fear of a monster.

[melisnonstop]

NOW

There’s nothing remarkable about the morning.

It’s a Tuesday, the sky a dull gray outside, the streets of New York humming in their usual chaotic way. Alex doesn’t expect anything to happen. He’s just another face in the crowd, just another law student finishing his degree, counting down the days until he can make a difference, raise his voice, bend the world toward the kind of justice that feels like home.

But right now? He’s just tired. Running on coffee fumes and stubborn willpower, the buzz of caffeine humming faintly in his veins.

The bell above the door of the coffee shop chimes as he pushes through, the warm scent of roasted beans wrapping around him like an embrace. He’s done this a thousand times before—a routine. The barista knows his order. It’s nothing special—as many espresso shots as legally possible, with cinnamon and enough sugar to cut through the bitterness.

He steps up to the counter, taps his fingers idly, eyes scanning the menu he doesn’t need to read. The world around him is a blur of soft chatter, clinking mugs, the hiss of the machines.

But then—it happens.

There are no fireworks. It’s not the stars falling from the sky. It’s just a pair of eyes.

A pair of blue eyes. Endless. Familiar. The color of oceans and skies and promises never spoken aloud.

The boy who’s been there—in glimpses, in whispers—woven through his life like a thread of starlight.

He’s sitting by the window, a cup of tea in hand, a book open before him. And Alex knows, in the deepest part of himself, that he has been waiting for this, for him, for this moment, all his life.

"It's you."

The words catch on the edge of Alex’s tongue, unspoken but heavy in the air.

Across the room, the boy—now a man—looks up, eyes locking with Alex’s as though he’s been caught mid-thought, mid-breath, mid-life.

The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth,like somehow, inexplicably, he understands.

THEN

It started long before Alex ever knew it had started.

Soft, flickering visions that would come and go—strange but comforting, like hearing a melody from a distant room, just out of reach.

A glimpse of blue eyes, a laugh carried on the wind, a feeling like a heartbeat not his own.

Alex remembers being six, sitting on his grandmother’s porch, the Texas sky stretching out like a blanket of stars above him. The world smelled like sun-warmed earth and tortilla dough, like home, and his abuela would hum under her breath, soft melodies that curled around him like the evening breeze.

"Es un sueño, cariño," his grandmother said when he told her, voice soft and slow. "Dreams are more than just sleep,They are echoes. Susurros. The universe whispers its secrets to us."

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 19 thoughts

last night’s episode had me singing. clapping my hands together and rejoicing. doing a little twirl, even. so i wonder where we will go from here? 

if i may be so bold as to venture a guess: i would say a two parter leaving on a cliff hanger that is resolved by the movie? 

hmm. i would be happy to be wrong, but we shall see.

post episode thoughts: i think i need to ponder this one for a few months and get back to you. there were things i liked, and other things that frustrated me, which i ended up spending quite a bit of time analyzing. still, i do not mean to be a total hater; my heart was melting at the hospital scene!!!

anyway, back to me from yesterday!

let's read the episode description... mulder is taken hostage?!?! oh, is scully going to go berserk? i am willing to see this. HOWEVER, i would prefer if my boy was left unharmed. maybe the captor will be polite. his poor finger probably still hurts!!!

but, a mulder kidnapping arc is good for me, because i believe being a damsel in distress ought to be a gender neutral role. so let’s see what we have going on

(and the episode is called folie a deux… shoutout to the best fall out boy album)

what if your job was to type into a blocky white computer and call people all day? this could be you, but it is the case for this man, named gary.

he is talking to an uninterested man about siding, and then auto calling someone else. i know these callers well. they plague my job.

an insect is here too, but we don’t have to worry about that. surely the sound design team did not put that in there purposefully for me to notice /s

gary is nervous as he makes another call and hears more insects. i don’t like this. wait, have i seen things about this episode before….?

BUG GUY???? 

gary is shaking with fear. WHAT IS HERE? the bug guy?!?! 

(loud cheering as the intro plays)

short intro….. i clock thee once again

skinner time!!! my heart rejoices at this. why does he have multiple globes in his office? and some books and what looks like trophies under his bill clinton portrait. i wonder if he plays around with them. 

agents mulder and scully are here!!!

uh oh… are they in trouble?!?!

they need to go to chicago to conduct a threat assessment. mulder wants to know why them. “because i prefer you did” <- ohhh yeah, give him the “i told you so” reasoning, skinner 🔥🔥

BAHAHA mulder picks up that the manifesto has “bizarre undertones” right away, which i think is a great way of describing something. and it speaks of a monster stalking employees!! augh. i hope the monster at least allows the workers their legally required breaks. 

(scully looks frustrated)

(mulder nods) "monsters. i’m your boy" <- LMAOOOOO STOPPPPPP WHY IS HE LIKE THIS I’M CRYINGGGG

he’s angry!!! he thinks skinner is mad at him 

“have i finally reached that magic point in my career where every time somebody sees bigfoot or the virgin mary on a tortilla, i get called out of my basement ward to offer my special insight on the matter?” <- oh. oh. i’m laughing, but i do feel a little bad. yeah buddy. that is kind of how you make a living. said with kindness though.

(i know he wants to genuinely know the Truth and find the answers and save his loved ones and learn the mystical secrets of the universe, and that there is angst in this genuine belief being misconstrued as the bigfoot guy, but you can see why such a mistake could get made when he is. you know. the way he is)

“you’re saying i a lot. i heard we” <- YEAHHH SCULLY! GET HIM!!!!!

(augh. and this plot once again fell victim to too much mulder saying i and not enough mulder saying we. probably my biggest complaint with this whole show)

she doesn’t think this case will be a waste of their time, but he says it won’t waste hers, because he will just go by himself! and he’s all pouty as he stalks off, leaving her looking confused. come on, monster boy. stop being emo.

oh, you know the episode is gonna hit when it says written by vince gilligan. i think? he’s the shippy guy, right? i normally don’t pay attention to these things, but people in the comments point out the writers, and he is spoken of positively 

(i googled his name to make sure i was spelling it right, and it turns out he also wrote breaking bad and better call saul. wow! that is a man with some serious credentials!)

so mulder takes off to chicago all by himself to listen to the taped manifesto at the vinyl shop call ceneter. it was sent to the local radio station with the instructions to play it over and over 24 hours a day. the subtitles allow me to know that this is the voice of gary, warning of an evil monster who hides in the light. mulder looks very very bored. 

the boss guy says he’s conducting his own internal investigation, which leads me to believe that he is the bug beast.

not even TWO STEPS OUT THE DOORWAY of that guy’s office and he’s calling scully LMAOOOOO I AM CRYINGGGGG... they cannot be separated or disaster ensues!!! 

he wants her to check on the phrase “hiding in the light”. OH she swivels around at their desk :,) her at the desk makes me so happy!

he recognizes it from an old file!!! “which one? there’s hundreds” “i’m not sure, but i appreciate it” <- AWWW poor scully has to go through 8 million x files looking for a phrase… deep scully sigh as she resigns herself to the glamorous field of archival work. at least he said he appreciated her hard work.

gary sees mulder here and is watching him…. and gary sees his coworkers being called in to talk with the manager. he tells nancy not to go in there!!! “gary, i love you buddy, but you’re really, really weird” damn nancy, get him again lmao

and gary sees the boss go bug mode!! and hears her screaming!! he’s crying while the other manager guy tells him to dial and smile!!

bro is having a complete breakdown… nancy returns to her desk looking like a zombie????? at least to gary. to the camera, she looks pretty normal. things are unclear, narrative-wise.

pretty mulder is listening to the manifesto and taking notes; he has this sort of loopy handwriting i really like. it's a little messy. and he’s written down and then crossed out "obsessive compulsive disorder". “formality of phrasing: desire for authority - to be taken seriously” YEAHHH GO MONSTER BOY GO🔥DO THAT PSYCHOANALYSIS YOU LOVE SO MUCH

meanwhile, gary is gathering ammunition and loading a gun!!!! oh my god????

scully calls!!! she found the phrase and who said it and when and where!!! again, you really cannot out-research her. back in 1992 in florida, a deacon was worried about evil in his church and then showed up and shot people. oh god. and he said “the afflicted ones won’t bleed” hey that’s horrific 

“scully, at the risk of you telling me i told you so, i think it’s time for you to get down here and help me” “i told you so”, she says, smiling <3 

AUGHHHH i need to scream into my hands for a moment

okay. i'm better now. that was just so damn cute.

mulder shows up the next day at the vinyl office place, but it’s empty!!! nancy says to get down… gary points a gun at him!!!! 

scully is pulling in to the parking lot while swarms of police and helicopters are everywhere…. scully introduces herself as agent mulder’s partner. the local FBI team doesn't have any updates on what is going on inside!!!!! 

they want to call him and she says NO. it could put him in danger. this other dude is being condescending to her and she again says NO. we need to find another way. so take that.

oh my god??? inside, gary is making some guy tie everyone up and kneel with their hands behind their heads?? he says the boss is who they should be afraid of and to shut up and stop crying. gary. bro. this is not a good look.

and he says he’s not talking to the people who aren’t human, referring to the first three people the boss took in his office…

mulder is coming in to save the day!!! he asks very calmly why they should be afraid of mr. pincus, claiming that he is here to apply for a job. i can only hope that i could be as calm as him in a hostage situation.

gary says that mr. pincus is a monster who will harvest their souls and turn them into zombies. okay. like in a corporate way or a literal way?

mulder’s slowly moving to grab his gun when gary looks away….

he says everyone needs to hold their breath, and as the local FBI team tries to break in, gary fires at the ceiling!!! maybe he’ll use up all his ammo???? and then mulder can attack???

WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO SCULLY WHEN SHE SAYS NOT TO CALL HIM???? Y’ALL ARE PISSING ME OFF!!!!

so of course his phone goes off when these fools call him, gary sees mulder’s gun, and they lose their ONE SHOT OF SAFETY, and gary slaps mulder across the face and SHOOTS AT SOME GUY WHO DARED TO MOVE OH MY GODDDD YOU BITCHES WHO DON’T LISTEN TO SCULLY ALL ARE GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!

and gary finds mulder's FBI badge…. he picks up the phone and says he shot a zombie, but didn’t kill him. because he was already dead.

he says he will start killing actual people if they don’t get him on the TV!!!

scully says PUT HIM ON THE TV!!! WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!

can they maybe film him and pretend to get it on the TV, and just get it on the local channel so it only broadcasts to the office TV or something????

gary. bro. i’m scared.

mulder tries to remind gary that the guy he killed was a man, but gary says it was a zombie. and that the boss wants to turn them all into drones.

mr. pincus asks a great question: if he is the monster, what does he need all of these people for?? he says to just wait until they put him on the TV.

when they call mulder's cell again, gary answers the phone with “dial and smile” ohhh…. this is truly a man who has had enough of his job

so they’re sending the camera people in…. and scully sees that gary is holding mulder at gunpoint!!!

ohh, they *are* doing a closed circuit broadcast, so gary sees himself on the office TV and no one else will be subjected to him!!! yeah, shoutout to technology.

the cameraman pretends some wires are twisted, which allows the FBI team to see that the wall is clear…. and mulder is forced to lay down…. and now gary’s addressing “the people”

mr. pincus is being held at gunpoint…. and mulder gets in the way… gary’s screaming and screaming at mulder to get him out of the way, but he won’t do it… and scully is WATCHING ALL OF THIS THROUGH THE CAMERA FEED… WHICH IS SO CRAZY

he hears the buzzing again…. and the lights are out…

does mulder see the bug man too?? or is it all in gary’s mind????

the FBI team enters and someone shoots gary. mulder is splattered with blood, but he is looking at mr. pincus suspiciously…… 

GARY WHISPERS “now you know” to him as he lay dying…

HOLY HELL?????????????

what. hey guys! what’s up? what is going on here.

poor pensive mulder is looking off at mr. pincus. “you look exhausted”, says scully, which he instantly denies. and oh, he’s going to talk to him. 

mr. pincus thanks him for saving his life. but mulder is in questioning mode. so mr. pincus had been, at some point, at the other plant where the incident went down a few years earlier, and had been to florida, where the x file case that scully had dug up in the files earlier was. bug guy… real??

scully is very confused. “what’s going on?” she asks softly, and he says he doesn’t know. ohhhh :( he sounded so lost :(

back to washington dc, where mulder is drawing lines on maps. with his poor busted lip and his poor busted finger. someone get him an ice pack

scully is shocked to see him! “mulder, why didn’t you take the day off?” he looks CRAZY and tells her to close the door. 

oh, what must be going through her mind right now…?

he found the phrase “hiding in the light” or variations of it in 5 other x files, but the variations he lists seem pretty different to me. all the other cases were people who said evil was right in front of them but no one else could see it. which seems like a pretty typical x file trope. i'm not sure if he's onto anything here.

she asks what we are all thinking: have you slept? he disregards this and keeps going. 

all of the cases with the phrase variations date back ten years, and that is how long pincus has worked for the vinyl company… hmm…

bro is still in his bloody shirt while trying to convince scully that perhaps a human bug creature could hypnotize its prey into not being visible. please get this man some clean clothes. it is not good to sit around covered in the blood of both yourself and others.

scully does not want to play along with gary's delusions or give them any credit. good for her!

“he was mentally ill. this monster was-was a sick fantasy, a product of his dementia”

(angry mulder nods) “i saw it, too.” (surprised scully face) “does that make me disturbed? demented? does that make me sick, too?” 

ohhhh, there is panic in scully, i am sure, but she is good at not showing it. 

(deep sigh) “no. no, this kind of thing is not uncommon. you… you went through a terrible ordeal, and sometimes people in close associations, under tense conditions, uh, the delusions of one can be passed onto the other” <- ohhhh scully… she is trying so hard to be kind and scientific and to support how he feels without fueling any harmful beliefs. it's a very careful dance.

he is furious though, insisting it’s not a delusion ("it's not folie a deux", he insists in the most american sounding way possible), and i can’t help but think about how his insistence on the existence of bug man fits in with his earlier disgust at being seen as the monster boy. well. you can see how these things happen when we wind up in this sort of situation.

he wants to prove that the people gary pointed out as not human really were turned into zombies somehow… maybe they can give them a checkup under the guise of “damn, y’all just went through some wild stuff”, but all i can think about is getting that man a fresh shirt and a nice long shower. can we give them a check up when you’re clean? please? thank you. bloodborne pathogens are scary.

scully refuses to autopsy the body- saying she won’t feed into the delusions- and he says he’ll prove it without her and storms off. 

she must be so worried about him...... he's clearly not himself

oh shoot… he goes to gary’s place and finds the same map tracking pincus that he had made!!! and then mulder sees a zombified nancy outside!!! he’s running off, but the guy he's with doesn’t see anyone!!!!

now she’s driving off with pincus… where are they going???

scully is here to talk to skinner. he wants to know: why is mulder being weird? 

AND WHY DID HE GET HER SCHEDULED TO DO AN AUTOPSY AFTER SHE SAID NO???? skinner KNOWS something is up and asks if there’s something she wants to tell him. she says “no, sir” and walks away, leaving him behind, confused

okay. so i feel like plotwise, i’m going to be annoyed if mulder is right, because he is acting really wild, and i get that it’s an intense situation, but you need to respect your partner. and listen to her and not make her do things that she refused to do. if he is behaving like he is having a break in his sanity, and scully is treating him with the care that this sort of situation affords, but then it turns out he was the only one clever enough to see the truth for the billionth time, making scully the scorned skeptic... well, it gets old after 5 seasons.

and we know that while he is often right about things, he is also incredibly prone to believing, and this can take him to self-destructive lengths, such as letting a guy put k in your brain until scully has to throw herself on him like a weighted blanket so he doesn't end things permanently. so. i don’t always trust his judgement.

but maybe she’s thinking, if i just autopsy the damn guy, we can get this over with.

all that being said: skinner’s confused face is so funny, lmao

scully does not want to do an autopsy. she’s outsourced it to someone else! i appreciate her sticking to her guns.

she’s trying to call mulder, but the guy doing the autopsy says it looks like the shooting victim has been dead for 2-3 days… and she says no, he died yesterday. HMM. weird. you can see the realization on her face…. something weird is going on here. but is it as strange as mulder claims?

pincus is going… somewhere. well, you better believe mulder is tailing him. hard for a guy that tall to be stealthy. 

he moves the picnic table to look into the window of this house, and he sees the bug guys!!! then he breaks in, seeing an eyeless woman and a bug guy crawling behind him!!! breaking and entering... not a good look

the CGI is killing me lmao. bro is leaning out the window. LMAO WHAT THE HELL I’M HOWLING LOOK AT THE BUG GUY SCURRYING AWAY BAHAHAAAAAAAAAA 

we need to appreciate this for a moment. crazed mulder breaking into some rando's house and shooting at the human-sized bug.

bug guy jumps off of the roof!!!

skinner is listening to the woman whose house he broke into testify… she says she felt a presence creeping towards her… and then this madman was in her house (pan to mulder) uh oh!!! one of many times mulder could have been fired, tbh!!!

she says he was screaming about monsters more than gary!! and then she leaves saying he shouldn’t carry a gun!!!

oh, mulder... what are we going to do with you?

pincus stays behind… oh, skinner is going to go nuclear on mulder if he opens his mouth to call him a monster one more time… poor skinner…….. pincus says he still considers mulder a hero for helping with the hostage situation, which is why he wants to handle this privately

LMAOOOO WAIT MULDER YELLED MORE AND NOW SKINNER IS SCREAMING AT HIM AND MULDER SEES PINCUS TURN INTO BUG MAN RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!!!!!!! HOLD ONNNN IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT LOOKS SO SILLY I CANNOT HELP BUT LAUGH

skinner has to pin him down after he pulls out his gun!!!! oh my god!! he is gonna get fired for real!!!

(funny how often skinner and mulder come to physical blows. i just think it's neat)

mulder is in the hospital in chicago, and scully slips her hand into his (stop. i’ll cry. hey i’ll cry) and he says “five years together, scully. you must have seen this coming” <- HEY IS HE GETTING FIRED FOR REAL?? or just announcing the formal loss of his sanity?!

she says they more or less found what they thought they would find in the body… it looked more decomposed than it ought to have… but that really isn't unusual

oh, look how pained she looks as she listens to him try and explain the monster. he says pincus bit the lady whose house he broke into's neck. now is this a bug or a vampire? i guess those two categories have some commonality

she says the case is closed, and she only has hope he can see past this delusion AUGHHHH

i am imagining being scully in this situation and how much it would hurt to see your bestie and partner like this.......

“you have to be willing to see” “i wish it were that simple” “scully, you have to believe me. nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will” OUGHHHHHHHHH

:( :( :( monster boy......

“you’re my… one in five billion” OHHH. HE SAID THE THING. THE BLOGS QUOTE HIM SAYING THE THING ALL THE TIME. AND HE SAID IT!!! AND MY HEART DID A FLIP.

look at her looking at him……

that feeling when your bestie is out of his mind, begging you to believe in the bug men, and he says you're his soul mate.......... yeah.

back to autopsy land. this other dude is very confused as to why she wants to flip him over. AUGH. bites! bug bites!

she is shaving the dead body's head. which is not something i ever thought you had to do, but here we are. she shaves that dead body like a pro. and AUGH. more bites. 

poor mulder is being restrained and shot up with stuff :( our pathetic man is suffering…….. 

he hears insects!!! did they bite him too???

NOOO!!! he sees the insect!! he’s screaming for the nurse!!!

he sounds absolutely wild as he tries to convince her there’s something at the window, and for her to let him go. oh, she opens the window…. is there something on her neck……. it looked like... juice?? gag.

he hears more insects…. i think it’s coming in his room?? it’s climbing on the wall?? 

OH SHIT!! the nurse is not letting scully in!!! and she sees her as a zombie, too???

SCULLY PARANORMAL MOMENT?!?!

OH, SHE BURSTS INTO HIS ROOM AS HE’S SCREAMING, AND SHOOTS THE BUG MAN!!!!

she’s looking at the window like wtf… am i going to have to pay to get that fixed…? and also was that really a bug man...? a lot of important questions are being communicated despite the lack of works

while he’s still fighting his restraints…

cut to a baffled skinner. “agent scully, i have to say, i’m at a bit of a loss here” LMAOOOO me too girl

“do i infer correctly from this that you believe there’s some… merit to agent mulder’s claims?”

(god, i typed "clams" at first. i wish there was merit to his clams)

this is shocking, but not unheard of. listen! scully just wants answers, okay? and sometimes they lie in the category of science yet to be explained.

(long scully pause) “i believe that agent mulder is mentally sound and fit for duty. aside from that belief, i can only present to you the few hard facts that i've been able to gather” <- queen of giving a measured response in a purple suit 

oh shoot!! there was a toxin in the spine of the shooting victim!! and pincus is gone without a trace, with 6 other key witnesses!! including the nurse!!!

skinner wants to know what the intruder looks like… she deflects that it was dark. that is all we hear her say, even though i wouldhave loved to know how that conversation ended.

scully and mulder reunite as they enter an elevator. “what did you tell him?”, he asks her. “the truth… as well as i understand it” “which is?” (long scully pause) “folie a deux… a madness shared by two”

hey. why does it sound like she knows french when she said that? because i know that mulder took french, but he said it as american as possible. however, she took german and said that pretty darn well. 

blushing a little.

AUGH, and a new company for WINDOWS has insect noises going on at the call center!!!

and so, the monsters continue to spread, ready at any moment to end humanity; a typical ending to an episode.

well. what did i think of this one?

hmm. i’m not sure. i was hoping mulder was going off the deep end rather than him being the most specialist boy of all who can once again see what the rest of the world cannot. he’s right too often, and we end up in the same situation where scully refuses to listen to his theories on account of the fact that he sounds crazy, and then he lowkey bullies her into doing what he asks rather than always considering her input, and then he ends up being right.

someone once got mad on one of my posts and said scully hates mulder (lmao. can you imagine?) because she never believes him even though he tends to be right. and buddy, i cannot really accept that as valid criticism, even beyond the whole point of the show being that yeah, they don't see eye to eye on supernatural matters. that is the most watsonian explanation to an incredibly clear doylist pattern, which is that mulder is the most special boy of all in this show and he knows all of the things and everyone else is a mere fool. this pattern annoys me greatly.

i just think it's funny (said with sarcasm) that someone would take the watsonian, in-universe explanation that hates on the woman character rather than acknowledge the fact that the writers clearly had a bias between the two. lmao.

and yeah. there are elements of both. scully is both purposefully written as stubborn in the face of his outlandish theories due to her loyalty to science as an element of her character, AND purposefully written as the one who naively refuses to believe mulder as some sort of audience proxy, because augh, that woman, she just won't believe our most special gifted genius agent mulder!

you can see how those two things work together, but one is clearly the result of the other. character decisions come from writers who often have their own biases and agendas rather than out of some mysterious creative ether from which a character emerges fully formed.

and poor skinner, trying to deal with mulder's often violent impulses. 

i think it’s very interesting that scully believes herself and him to be victims of a shared madness. it’s the most logical belief for her to have, but it also places this kind of… like, concerning element to them being together. is everything they have experienced a shared madness? or just this after the trauma of him being held hostage? how can you trust your memory? how can you trust what you see? 

i also think it’s very interesting how she refuses to feed his delusions at all when he proposed the idea. she would not do the autopsy. and from his psych training standpoint, i imagine that he knew she would say that, but was still hoping against hope because he was so out of his right mindset. she stuck to what she believed would help him recover, which is really admirable and doctor-y of her.

god, her slipping her hand into his as he’s in the hospital…

see, this is the problem with this show. it’s got me philosophizing on the meaning of the bug men. first of all, if they’re the ones in charge of call centers, i’m not really that surprised. corporate work turns you into a zombie; you don’t have time for passions or pursuits of your own, you just work for the shareholder. i get that interpretation. 

but other than that, what are we to think of the bug men? are we to call into question the things that we see? are we to believe the manifestos and ramblings of people like gary? 

i’m going to probably just assume it was a sort of “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” situation the writers concocted. yeah it *would* be fucked up if there were bug guys in the call center taking over america through ceaseless barrages of advertising. you've got me there, vince.

my feelings on mulder’s behavior are complicated. maybe it was a shared madness between them *and* there were some shady bug things going on. him sitting there still the day after the hostage situation, having gotten no sleep, still in his bloody shirt, drawing lines on the map… i mean, he did not seem well, even for a guy famed for his bouts of obsessive focus. 

i am going to think on this one for a bit. perhaps a more coherent train of thought will arise. but for now, i have written a treatise on the nature of this show's frustrating parts while also highlighting the parts that made me giggle. like "i told you so" and scully's good french and mulder's terrible french and holding hands and undying love <3

[aizawas-dryeye]

➭jjk characters as things my friends have said

content: crack, +18 topics, drugs, NSFW shit, like one joke about eating disorders

words: 627

ko-fi

!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

my friends make me giggle , um also i had No Fucking Idea how to format this soooo

• • •

Shoko: i hate when men say they hate hairy coochie cos they cant find the clit like sir move her bangs over and there she is

Shoko: anyways i stopped shaving my pubes out of spite

*•*•*

Gojo after having a breakdown about Geto: bitch he called me perfect after seeing my ass and tits , forget what i said bitch im in love 😍‼️

*•*•*

Nobara: id buss down for a corn dog

*•*•*

Maki: people who are still in a harry styles or justin bieber phase refuse to progress in a way that is healthy

*•*•*

Nanami: i think im a hypochondriac

Gojo: isnt that when you have boy and girl parts?

Geto: thats a hermaphrodite

*•*•*

Mei Mei, taking the bdsm test: it says im 70% misogynistic

Utahime: that says MASOCHISTIC

*•*•*

Toji: you have to do anal with god to get more than two sauces at the chik fil a

*•*•*

Nanami, promptly after vacuuming: ohh i love a freshly shaved room

*•*•*

Gojo: you know what this dick needs? a tortilla

*•*•*

Inumaki: sorry babe no sex right now im trying to watch one piece

*•*•*

Utahime: what fun things did yall get for christmas?

Shoko: COVID 🕺💃

*•*•*

Yuji: do you remember mickey mouse club house?

Megumi: yea

Yuji: HOTDOG—

*•*•*

Megumi: i think my ex voice teacher is schizophrenic

*•*•*

Geto: this house smells like dookie donkey dick

*•*•*

Nobara: i was violently ill so i decided to lay on the bathroom floor where it is the safest

*•*•*

Inumaki: i have smoked a bowl and drank some coffee. im hoping to have a meeting with god before i talk to my therapist

*•*•*

Megumi: yalls wifi makes me wanna eat my own shit

*•*•*

*group of old ladies walks by*

Yuji, gasping: it's the golden girls!!

*•*•*

Nanami: a word being on the tip of your tongue is akin to edging

*•*•*

Gojo: you are the crack of my ass

*•*•*

Nanami: i used to collect pogs, do you remember those?

Yuji: .... phat ass white girls?

*•*•*

Toji: im doing a tea diet

Shiu: what does that entail?

Toji: an eating disorder probably

*•*•*

Nobara: im gonna die a slow suffocating pepper death

Yuji: if you die from a pepper the universe really had it out for you

Nobara: ok peanut allergy

*•*•*

Nanami: i often think about what if 9/11 happened two months earlier

Nanami: 7/11 would have woken up to a PR nightmare

*•*•*

Toji: how you gonna cheat on your girl with a limp dick?!

*•*•*

Gojo, lovingly: oh nanamin, what does the fox say?

*•*•*

Toji: im going to sleep i dont give a fucking flying fucking turtle shit

*•*•*

Geto: the most consistent panty dropper is not rizz, but closeted homosexuality

*•*•*

Yuji: i know what gets the bitches goin *turns on chowder*

*•*•*

Toji: you know that spoon keychain you got me?

Megumi: mhm

Toji: im so sorry but i definitely did cocaine off of it

*•*•*

Uraume: if you wanna find trans people go to hottopic

*•*•*

Shoko: nurse! scissor me!

*•*•*

*5am, packing a bowl*

Nobara: does this count as a wake n bake

Yuji: yes

Yuji: well if you never woke you never boke

*•*•*

Sukuna: if i bite into a burger and it cums in my mouth im shooting up the block

*•*•*

Yuji: omg whos calling me?

Nobara: your mom— oop...

Nobara: sorry

*•*•*

Nanami: let a man kiss his partners mons pubis what are you the cops?

*•*•*

Gojo after Geto sent him nudes: thank you for keeping my dick fat, youre like a son to me

*•*•*

Gojo: getting megumi to shower is a fight

Geto, looking him up and down: ... does that run in the family?

*•*•*

Shoko to Gojo: little is NOT how i would describe your eyes

*•*•*

Megumi: kendrick lamar stuck in my head

Yuji: just his face or,,,?

Megumi: his music???????

*•*•*

Nanami: not to be obscure but you guys cant translate the phrase "whore boy" like that

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Free invite to rant about your tortillas as humans

*clears throat*

Mkay @belleyellsaboutturtles @truths33k3r4 @boots-with-the-fur-club come getchy'alls food

So I'm calling the AU "Lou Jitsu's Kids". I'm still working on the story and a few details, but basically this is how the story goes...

It begins introducing the most important characters to the AU and giving some quick context, starting with Lou Jitsu. (His story is exactly the same as canon until a certain point so I won't explain him lol).

Next we're introduced to Bea M, Lou Jitsu's manager, publicist, former roadie, owner of the Hotel Nexus where Lou Jitsu lives, and girlfriend. But secretly and unbeknownst to Lou, she runs an underground crime syndicate and mafia under the pseudonym "Big Mama".

The story picks up at Lou's proposal to Big Mama. She declines, fearing that if they were to get married, her secret double life would be revealed. Lou is heartbroken but accepts her answer, believing that she will one day accept it when she's ready.

The next introduction is to a young struggling single mother, who's boyfriend left her after the unplanned pregnancy of their son, Raphael. Raph's mom has just been laid off and rent is due at her crummy apartment. Though she wants to keep her son, she understands that she cannot support him and is forced to give him up for adoption so that he might have a better life.

Next, we are introduced to a happy young family moving to NYC for the father's new job as an architect. The mother has taken a job teaching kindergarten so she can stay close to their twin sons, Leonardo and Donatello. However, on the drive, the vehicle is crashed into and Leo and Donnie's parents are killed instantly.

We are then introduced to a person the narrator refers to as "a nobody" or something like that. The "nobody" has just been given a wonderful gift, but decides to throw the gift away simply because they do not want the responsibilities that come with it. They are shown shoving a small bundle into a dumpster in the alley before running. We are then introduced to Michelangelo, a newborn baby, who is quickly running out of time.

Lastly, we are introduced to Baron Draxum, a man who owns a small and failing orphanage. He manages to hear Mikey crying in the alley and rescues him, taking him to the hospital before bringing him to the orphanage later. At first, we are meant to believe that Draxum is just a grumpy old man yet essentially harmless, but we learn that the orphanage is a front for illegal science experiments, drug enhancements, and genetic experiments hidden beneath the building. Draxum begins experimenting on the four newest additions to his orphanage -- Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey.

If I remember correctly, a few years later, grandpa Shō dies. Distraught by the loss of his last remaining family member, Lou Jitsu reflects on his life and his family. He chooses to visit "Draxum's Home for Little Lambs" on a whim and ends up meeting the four boys, who adore his films and idolize his characters. Lou decides to use his wealth and and connections to donate to charity, specifically choosing to renovate Draxum's Orphanage and provide funding for a rec center as well. Lou continues to donate to the orphanage and even goes so far as to invite all the kids on a tour to his film studio to watch how movies are made. With each visit, he falls more and more in love with the four boys and eventually decides to adopt them all, much to Bea M's disagreement. However, after meeting the boys and seeing the poverty they come from, she changes her mind.

There's a heck of a lot more after that, but this post is long enough so I think I'd stop there for now and ramble another time...

[devildom-doll]

The Obey Me characters at MC’s Latino/Hispanic Party 🫠

A/N: Happy Hispanic Heritage Month!!¡¡!¡ I am not sorry for this. The only thing I’m sorry for is my grammar. Remember this is joke, okay? ùwú

Word Count: 625 words (I think, idk, didn’t count)

TLDR: just read the title, man xD

-Lucifer be talking with MC’s relatives, eating his pan con cafésito; probably telling them about how much his pendejo brothers don’t let him sleep at night. But also, he unintentionally brags about them cuz he loves them so damn much.

-Mammon be gambling with some of the drunk tiós; probably playin Lotería or somthn. He’s gonna lose, of course, and they’re gonna trash talk him but he speaks fluent Spanish so he’s gonna tire himself out and have nothing left. He’s gonna have to ask your abuelita for some dinero.

-Leviathan is playing video games with the primos who like anime, then he’s gonna realize interaction with people is a pain and he’s gonna lock himself in the room where someone’s baby is randomly sleeping.

-Satan tried learning some Spanish before coming to the party, but then he realized Lucifer is fluent af, now he tryna hunt Luci down with the piñata bat, jejeje. Then he’s gonna get drunk with the cool primos… drunk to the point where he’ll be fluent by morning.

-Asmodeus be dancing to Shakira and Daddy Yankee, and probably get concerning stares from your religious abuela telling you he needs el amor de Cristo. He probably gonna flirty with the tiás and brag about you being his amor. (he just learned how to say “te amo,” and he tryna find you… he drunk too)

-Beelzebub ate eveything he ate the pozole, y los tácitos, y los tamales, y las pupusas, y las empanadas… el come de todo.   El taquero is probably tired of seeing him and he keeps asking the relatives what each food is called and how to make it.

-Belphegor tomando siestas con el bebe y con Levi porque interaction is painful. Actually, he was with Beel earlier, and he takes note of the food Beel eats so both of them can find the recipes when they get home… if they actually do go home…

-Diavolo talks to all the relatives, like all of them, he says goodbye to all of them when it’s time to leave too. He probably is the drunk tío. Also, he speaks fluent Spanish. He probably plays games with the family and plays with los primitos too. Lord Diavolo doesn’t exist anymore; he’s Señor Diavolo now.

-Barbatos be helping in the kitchen making the food that the family is gonna eat (Beel too). Family be impressed, he makes some good ass food and knows damn well that Dia is gonna demand Hispanic human food to be served at RAD. He’s got the hands that perfectly shape las tortillas, people be impressed. (Also, he says sí mi Señor cuz mega lul)

-Luke is playing with los primitos, he got on the jumper, hit the piñata, and he had some pan dulce con leche. Then he got tired, and he be laying, stomach down on the couch or some random room waiting to leave. (Luke was the baby in that room btw jeje)

-Simeon also be helping the the kitchen, making the sweet stuff and preparing the coffee. 100% got along with your religious abuela; oradon y hablaron a sus vidas porque Simeon es un abuelo también. Your family loves him the most, probably, next to Luci and Barb.

-Solomon speaks fluent Spanish… cuz there’s a spell that makes him do that. He talked to some relatives, he probably scared your religious abuela con la brujería. Simeon and Barb kept him out of the kitchen. He’s just vibin tbh, probably sitting with you as you watch your demon/angel harem interact with your familia.

MC (tu 🫵🏽) is watching your demon/angel harem interact with your familia. Also, you comforting the sleepy boys telling them, “si ya vamos, solo un poquito mas…”

[respectthepetty]

Dunk x Chef Ghost Ship!

It's finally THE episode of Hidden Hangout where the chef gets flirty

and the boys get tipsy!

I've seen pictures of this on various socials, so I'm ready for Dunk to speak English to the Spanish chef for the entire episode

And I was not disappointed!

Dunk and the chef were in their own little world.

Look at their faces! Everyone in that room knew what was happening which is why they are all applauding.

LISTEN!

This is the type of energy I live for. This chef is doing the most. The tattoos. The nails. The glasses. The flirt. I hope that man is being well-taken care of.

Everyone in this room encouraged this behavior.

The image doesn't do it justice! He popped his hip with a bit of sass!

THEY ARE DOING LA MACARENA!

Tortilla Española, my love!

JOONG IS CRYING!

Look at Dunk's face!

Dunk is just calling out the crying friend while being very unhelpful.

We know who the flirty drunk is and who the emotional drunk is. It tracks.

Joong was so emotional, he rang the bell again that signals for the crew to dance, and the reaction from ALL THE MEN to not dance again while the women just chilled is everything to me.

Men, you don't have to make excuses to cry.

Stop! Just cry because you're happy. It's not the food. It's not being tired. It's because the vibes are right, the chef is hot, and the drinks are good.

If this were First and Khao, full on breakdown would have already happened.

Sangria brings out the best in people.

I'm telling y'all! It's about the vibes!

If the chef ain't standing on the bar to pour drinks directly in my mouth, I DON'T WANT IT!

A fucking vibe.

HE BROUGHT OUT FUCKING TEQUILA!

Everyone else can go home. This man stole my heart.

El Palanca Chef with Frida on the left hand and Dalí on the right, I'm coming for you, you sexy motherfucker.

[buttdumplin]

writings

‼️ MDNI ‼️ ageless and blank blogs will be blocked too

Pierced Ears - poly 141 x latine gn!reader, fluff Baby Bug gets her ears pierced. The boys all react a little differently, but boy, are they amazing fathers.

In Dub - poly 141 x latine gn!reader, fluff The ways in which the boys navigate Spanish at home.

Meet the Fam - Price x latine gn!reader, fluff You take the old man home.

Cuanto cuesta - Kyle x fat latine gn!reader, fluff Sneaking some solo time with Kyle.

Spoiling Kyle - Kyle x latine transmasc! reader, smut He deserves to know how loved and cherished he is.

Polaroids Pt 1 - Simon x gn!reader, implied poly 141, suggestive Simon is the first of the boys to ask for polaroids. He less asks and more takes matters into his own hands.

Polaroids Pt 2 - poly 141 x afab gn!reader, smut You’ve got intense baby fever and Simon makes a complete meal out of it, especially now that he’s got his trusty camera.

Tortilla Boys - poly 141 x transmasc latine reader, fluff, suggestive The white boys don't know how to deal with the sun.

Their Jewelry - poly x gn! reader, smut The boys have different uses for their piercings.

Gender-affirming 141

Can't be your housewife - Price x transmasc reader, fluff (tho a little tense) You confess at bedtime.

Boy Juice - Price x transmasc reader, fluff, complex gender feelings John Price helps you with your weekly testosterone injection.

Pussy Nukes - Price x transmasc reader, suggestive John continues to help you with your medicaton.

6 Weeks - poly 141 x transmasc reader, comfort There is one detail you haven't discussed yet in preparation for your hysterectomy yet.

Potential for Disappointment - poly 141 x transmasc reader, comfort, complex gender feelings The boys ask you about your feelings on packers.

Week One - poly 141 x transmasc latine!reader, spanish-speaking reader, fluff One week post hysterectomy and you're ready to pull out your hair and theirs. Ale and Rudy can help.

Orgasm Schedule - poly 141 x transmasc reader, smut the boys try to get in as many orgasm as possible before your hysterectomy

[bullet-prooflove]

Could you write a crossover story featuring Beau/Ally and Harm/Savanna?

Tagging: @kmc1989 @keyweegirlie @snowlover250 @kenbechillin @@too-strong-to-lose @buckysteveloki-me @sca3a @flopiboni @secretsquirrelinc @@sportslovers-world @burningpeachpuppy @mandy426 @@al-lethan @thiashazzywriting @justameresimp @agentorange9595 @lxaah11 @librarian1002 @imaginecrushes @flrboyd @areamir @b-bradshaw @adaydreamaway08 @crimeshowjunkie @inkandarsenic @caffeinatedwoman @tortilla-maria1 @lemmons1998 @dr-alan-grantler @penguin876 @deliriousfangirl61 @goosterroose @kishie8 @skyesthebomb @marshmallowflufffox @whateversomethingbruh @4everademigod @notanotherpotter @yousigned-upforthis @silversprings-mp3

Ladies and gents we got ourselves a crossover! Refs to both Ally's career in JAG and Beau being a flyboy.

It’s in a park by The Naval Yard that Mac first sees Harm again. It’s been nine years since she last laid eyes on him and he still looks as handsome as the day he packed his bag and walked out the door.  He’s standing alongside the coffee kiosk, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark overcoat as he surveys the menu board fixed the outer wall.

She doesn’t expect to see him back in Washington DC, the last she heard he was seeing a girl down in New Orleans, spending all his shore leave celebrating Jazzfest and Madri Grais. That man, she’d thought at the time, he’ll never grow up.  

She hasn’t had a single successful relationship since she left Harmon Rabb and she blames him for that. She blames him for a lot of things. The two of them had made a pact when they’d flipped that coin, he was supposed to stay out of the service, live life as a civilian in San Diego. They’d get married, have a couple of kids.

It had worked for a while but then he’d run into Ally again and it had all started to fall apart. The Admiral's Wife, Mac calls her, because she’d married Beau Simpson a decade ago, the rear admiral in charge of the Top Gun program.

Harm had been her mentor when she was coming up through JAG. He’s walked her down the aisle when she had married Beau at sunset in Cape Rey. Mac remembers she’d been a ferocious little thing, tenacious and fierce in the face of adversity. She packed a hell of a punch in the court room. Mac should know, she’d run up against her a couple of times since taking the promotion in San Diego.

“She’s as good as you.” Mac had told Harm over dinner one night. “And just as infuriating.”

“No.” Harm had responded, sipping from his beer bottle. “She’s better.”

It was Ally that had urged Harm to rejoin the Navy, her and Beau. Mac couldn’t see how unhappy he was at the time, she hadn’t understood it, not really. She remembers the day he’d come home from the airfield, eyes bright with exhilaration. He’d been out flying again with Beau, the two of them were like boys with toys once they got up in the sky. Testing boundaries, playing wargames, showing off. He always ended up at their home afterwards, talking cases over dinner with Ally or swapping war stories with Beau. He would come home with a smile on his face, smelling of cigar smoke, tasting of whiskey.

“I’m re-enlisting.” He’s told her that night after he stepped out of the shower. “It’s a different commission from JAG, it won’t mess up our agreement.”

He was wrong, it had been the end of everything. The posting that Beau had offered him meant he was away on aircraft carriers for six months out of the year, flying jets and sailing ships, the two things he loved most in the world.

Mac had hated him for that, she hated Beau and Ally for giving him that option because now she was the one left behind. The lonely one, the sad one.

It had lasted one deployment.

By the time the next one came up, it was over.   

It was a way of punishing him at the time, she’d expected him to resign his commission, come back with his tail between his legs, but he hadn’t. He’d packed a bag instead and gone to stay with Ally and Beau before shipping out to the USS Allegiance, she hadn’t seen him since. She’d heard stories over the years from mutual friends, places he’d been, women he was seeing. He’d become the Harm she used to know, the one without ties or commitments.

She had always believed they would find their way back to each other. Nine years and thousands of miles later, it’s finally happening on a rainy day in Washington DC.

She doesn’t realise how wrong she is, not until she sees you. You’re hurrying towards him, gesturing with your hands, your voice full of apology. He smiles then, and it’s that smile that completely obliterates her. She’s never seen him smile like that, not in all the years she’s known him.

You’re nothing special, not really. She’d call you pretty as opposed to beautiful, a step down from the women he usually covets. You aren’t military, she can tell from your walk, but you carry, she can see it in the way your coat drapes. Law enforcement then, she assumes. Most likely NCIS.

Strong women, she recalls. That’s what Harm’s attracted to, strong capable women.

It’s when he kisses you, she knows that it’s real. When he cradles your face between his large hands, there’s such tenderness in his expression. He looks at you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world and her heart just breaks. He’s loved before, she realises in that moment but he’s never been in love, not until you.

Her eyes start to sting because for all these years she’s clung to this hope, this stupid ridiculous dream that the two of them were meant for each other. She’d imagined that they’d bump into one another, their eyes would lock and it would be like it was back then. Nights filled with fire and passion, their days adventure and laughter.

That life, it isn’t a reality anymore.

It’s clear that Harm’s moved on and it’s time that Mac does too.

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