#toph needs him to understand that he is not his father and that he has never been his father and he will never be his father

[djemsostylist]

Zuko/Toph Headcanon: Reflections in a Mirror (are not closer than they appear)

With thanks to @bonesingerofyme-loc for the discord headcanon breakdown over this particular issue

Zuko goes back and forth on his hair for a long time. It's late one evening and he's back from meetings and he's tired and tense and scowling. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, on his unscarred side and all he can see is his father staring back at him. He chops all his hair off with a knife, and his ministers are trying to figure out how to explain it (since it's kind of a big deal culturally of course) and they explain it away as a "training accident" but Zuko can't quite shake the image from his head because he looks more and more like Ozai every day.

When he and Toph meet up it's grown out enough to hang in his eyes a bit, like when he was a teenager, and as time goes on it gets longer and longer.

Toph doesn't mention it, but one evening at camp on the The Field Trip™ she's playing with his hair and mentions that she likes it like this because it's fun to play with and Zuko just like, quietly decides to never cut it again.

(Sokka, of course, remains angry that SOMEONE that wasn't him finally managed to convince Zuko about the proper aesthetics of long hair. Toph is unbearably smug about the whole thing).

At some point on their Field Trip™, sometime after the hair incident, Toph tells him, completely and utterly sincerely, he looks nothing like his father and it's the first time he actually believes it. Toph phrases it about how she sees everyone, but she doesn't really see people in a way that everyone else understands so they kind of just assume she sees the way they see, because just like she can't imagine what they mean when they talk about what someone looks like, she knows they'll never totally understand what she means either. She sees the body, sure, because her sense is strong enough to pick up weight and center of gravity and etc etc, but just as important to all that is everything else like stance, how they hold their weight, how they walk, how they sit, how they move. It's a whole constellation of details about each person, not just the basic physical, and that's why she can say even though she'd only seen Ozai once in her entire life, she knows that Zuko doesn't look anything like him, not at all.

For his part, Zuko is left completely speechless and the only thing he can think to say is "I love you."

It's not the first time he says it (the Gaang say it to each other the way you do, all the time, reflexively the way you do with family) but it's the first time he means it like that.

Toph just responds with a "of course you do" and the requisite punch, but internally she's freaking out because did he mean it the way she thinks he meant it or is it just like it always is, because Toph has massive issues with people caring about her, and also how she views romantic love. She has Aang/Katara and Sokka/Suki as good examples, but they are special and fated and just because it works for them doesn't mean it will work for her, she wasn't lucky enough to meet her soulmate at 12 (which of course she was but...). She can accept exceptions for her friends but not for herself. Childhood trauma doesn't go away, so even with their friends as examples, she still has the reflexive judgement of it from her upbringing, both again, from her parents, and also what they hammered into her about expectations. For her, marriage was always going to be this like, messed up arranged situtationship that came with giving up yourself and expecting nothing and she doesn't know what it means if she loves him. And Zuko is the first person she's ever loved like this, and it's terrifying and exhilarating all at once for her.

(It takes her a while to say it back, not because she doesn't love him (she probably loved him for far longer than a single Field Trip™) but because of the implications of what it all means in the end. Zuko doesn't say it again for a while for her sake and also because he is a little bit afraid of his own daring, but he also says it everyday.)

[rifari2037]

The idea of her being mother figure is challenged right from episode one when Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Okay, that's right! That's spot on! I don't deny that Aang makes Katara act like a child again for a while.

Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Katara : Fire Nation. Sokka : We should tell him. Katara : [Yelling.] Aang! There's something you need to see. Aang : [Aang runs to them from the airball court, still playing with the hollow ball. Cheerfully.] Okay! Aang : [Happily runs up.] What is it? Katara : [Innocently holds her hands behind her back.] Uh... Just a new waterbending move I learned. Aang : Nice one! But enough practicing, [Excited as he turns around and start walking away.] we have a whole temple to see! Sokka : [Brushes the last of the snow from his head and shoulders.] You know, you can't protect him forever.

It's only the third episode, but Aang's childish attitude already makes Katara act like a mother protecting her child from reality. Katara also has to calm Aang down when he goes into avatar mode, it happens several times like it's her responsibility to do so.

Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Katara : [Resumed filling the pot with more vegetables.] Watching you show off for a bunch of girls does not sound like fun. Aang : [Disappointed.] Well, neither does carrying your basket. Katara : [Annoyed.] It's not my basket. These supplies are for our trip. I told you, we have to leave Kyoshi soon.

This scene actually piss me off, like, if I were Katara I would mad too! And again, Aang's irresponsible and childish behaviour forced Katara to be responsible for doing the chores. If not her to be mature, who else? Sokka who is busy with his misogyny towards the Kyoshi warriors? Or Aang who is busy having fun with his fans?

Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Aang ran away after someone blamed him for something he actually did a hundred years ago. Katara must find him in the storm, then help him dwelling with his past.

And it happens again in The Awakening. Aang runs away and triggers Katara's another trauma that forces her to grow up, which is being abandoned by the person she cares about (her father). Katara (Sokka and Toph) must find him and save him.

Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Katara : [Disappointed.] Wow... there's hardly any in here. Aang : [Lashes out.] I'm sorry, okay! It's a desert cloud; I did all I could! What's anyone else doing?! [Pointing his staff at Katara.] What are you doing‌?! She returns his attack with a shocked look on her face. Katara : Trying to keep everyone together. Let's just get moving. We need to head this direction.

Katara is the only one who can keep the Gaang out of the desert. If she doesn't act mature and responsible with the Gaang, they might not survive. And what does Aang do? Get mad at her for losing Appa, while Katara is not to blame for it.

Aang reminds her that she's still just a kid.

Katara : Aang, we do understand. It's just ... Aang : Just what, Katara? What? Katara : We're trying to help! Aang : Then, when you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it! [Walks away.] Katara : Aang, don't walk away from this. [Walks toward Aang.]

I love Katara, you know, that's why I really don't like Aang pointing angrily at Katara and blaming her every time he got emotional, when Katara didn't do something wrong and just wants to help him. Is this a healthy relationship?

Aang reminds Katara that she's just a child in the first episode, but unfortunately, the Gaang (especially Aang) once again forces Katara to be motherly in the next episodes.

Does she like being motherly? No, she doesn't. She wants to have fun too, but if she did, the Gaang would be screwed. Being motherly is not just her nature, but the Gaang (except Suki) forces her to be more mature than the others narratively.

Actually, that's why I like the idea of Momtara and Dadko. In my opinion, this nickname is not to make her forget she is just a kid. Instead, because the narrative itself always shows Katara forced to act motherly toward Gaang, 'Momtara and Dadko' shows that is not only Katara's responsibility to do all chores.

Calling Zuko Dadko is also reasonable, because he is narratively more mature among the Gaang (except Suki). He focuses on Aang's training and worries that Aang will fail, just like what father usually do to his son.

More than that, Katara doesn't need to act motherly with Zuko - he is the one bringing her things and preparing what they need in their journey contras with what Aang did in Kyoshi Island. And they act more like equal partners toward each other, rather than mother and son.

Oh, it's true that Aang makes Katara child again in first episode. But it's weird to defend Kat/ang and hate the narrative of Katara being motherly at the same time, when the Gaang (especially Aang) often forced Katara to act motherly.

[dukeofdelirium]

????? creepy…? Aang didn’t view Katara as a mother or mother figure within his life, lol. Like, ever. Show me when and where Aang ever thought of her in this way?

Y’all are invalidating the love Aang had for his father Gyatso who actually raised him from the time he was a baby. Aang viewed Gyatso as his parent. He loved Gyatso as his parent. He proudly states to Katara and Sokka that Gyatso “taught me everything I know.” Stop erasing Aang’s bond with his actual parental figure in canon. Aang’s love for Gyatso and grief over losing him is what everything else in the story revolves around. The disrespect you idiots show to this relationship is ridiculous. We need to start gatekeeping this show I’m so serious

The first thing Aang did when he met Katara was to ask her to go play with him as the children they are. He then reminded her that she was still a child, too. Aang always viewed Katara as his peer and equal, his best friend—NEVER his parent.

If Aang viewed Katara as his parent, that means he would view her as having authority over him. Which he doesn’t. That also means he would expect her to care for him, which he very much doesn’t.

In fact, the exact opposite is depicted. Aang actually canonically struggles with and rejects Katara’s affections toward him, multiple times. It is portrayed as difficult for him to allow her to show him love, something he has to get over as the show continues. Aang never asks Katara for anything, and he doesn’t expect her to do things for him. She does all of these things of her own free will. Katara also hates that Toph views her as motherly. The only time Katara even speaks on this is when she is arguing with Sokka and Toph. Guess who isn’t a part of this in regards to viewing Katara as motherly? Aang. He doesn’t speak on any of this and the episode doesn’t focus on his and Katara’s relationship because they don’t treat one another the way Katara treats Toph and Sokka. The only time Katara ever acts “motherly” toward Aang is in that very episode, and it’s played for laughs… because she isn’t his mom lol

Also, the EIP episode wasn’t “insane” 😂 and it definitely wasn’t proof that Katara didn’t love Aang. If anything, she’s verbally affirming she does love him romantically. She just set a boundary, because she was afraid he might die and she would be unable to revive him like she had in the book 2 finale. It’s really not that difficult to understand…

Also.. if Aang getting broken out of the ice is a metaphor for …. Childbirth…. Then did Katara birth Appa too ? 😭😂 help it’s sending me

[starlight-bread-blog]

It's Zutara Month 2024 So I'm Gonna Discuss (See: Fangirl) Them and Emotional Labor

Katara cooks, sews, but most of all: she gives unconditional emotional support for her brother, and later the rest of the Gaang.

Illustrated after Appa was stolen, the Gaang got stuck in a desert without much water, food or any means of transportation besides their legs. Katara gave everyone her bending water, without drinking any herself, responded to everyone with compassion, and by the end she helped bring Aang back to himself while he was out of control in the Avatar State.

Even after the episode is over, next episode and she helps delivering a baby, and still makes sure to look after Aang.

Sokka too testified that Katara did a lot of labor for him:

Sokka: Actually, in a way, I rely on [Katara's bossiness].

Toph: I don't understand.

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara, she had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helpwd fill the void that was left by our mom.

Toph: I guess I never thought about that.

And appropriately, Katara is the one doing the vast majority of the emotional labor in her relationships. She takes care everyone, comfrots them, and protects them. Take "The Deserter" as an example: Aang was being extremely careless with his new found fire bending ability, to the point where he accidently burns Katara's hands.

Katara herself never express her anger at him, she ends up healing her own wounds. Sokka does the scolding. A\ang felt incredibly guilty, but still – by the end, Katara is the one comfroting Aang when he wants to give up on fire bending.

Katara takes care of everyone in the Gaang, making sure they're well, helping them heal their scars. Moreover, Katara often brings up her own grief to empthize with other people's loss. It's a pattern of sorts:

1) A character talks about their past with the Fire Nation

Haru: Yeah. Problem is ... [Close-up, earthbends two stones in a circle above his hand.] the only way I can feel close to my father now is when I practice my bending. He taught me everything I know.

Jet: The Fire Nation killed my parents. I was only eight years old. That day changed me forever.

Hama: I'm sorry. It's too painful to talk about anymore.

2) Katara brings up her own grief, sympathizing with their loss

Katara (to Haru): See this necklace? My mother gave it to me.

Katara (to Jet): Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.

Katara (to Hama): We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.

A\ang is a bit of an exception, given that she brought up her grief to prepare him for the loss of his people. (Ad they all respond sympathetically). Still, she brings it up to sympathize and help. There is nothing wrong with that, of course. but here is how it went with Zuko:

1) A character talks about their past with the Fire Nation

Katara: You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

2) Katara brings up her own grief, sympathizing with their loss

Zuko: I'm sorry. That's something we have in common.

It's Zuko who responds to her grief this time. It's him empathizing with her. It's him doing the emotional labor for her. And it's this sympathy is their first real civil conversation, establishing that in their relationship, Zuko will do some of the labor needed of him.

In The Southern Raiders, Katara opens up to Zuko, compleyely unprompted, while she is yet to forgive him, about the precise events that led to her mother's death.

A thing she has never done with anyone, and is doing now with someone she considers untrust worthy. Zuko responds with "your mother was a brave women". She, once again, is on the reciving end of the emotional labor – and in a way that is deeper than any other intance of her in the show.

In rest of the episode, Zuko is the one thinking of her and taking care of her.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Katara takes care of everyone, but it is with Zuko that she recives the help she deserves.

She put herself in danger to help A\ang, she helpped him after he'd burnt her, and she stepped up when her mother died. But with Zuko, he is the one reaching out. He's the one taking care of her needs.

[wilcze-kudly]

The Gaang being 'bad parents' didn't ruin their characters.

I've seen this argument tossed around a couple times and it's honestly one of my least favourite criticisms of lok.

Katara (and Sokka but we have no confirmed kids for him, which seems unrealistic with how much game he had) lost their mother as children and their father was forced to abandon them when they were barely starting their teens. They were raised by their grandmother with little to no peers of their own age.

Aang did not know his parents and a huge chunk of his childhood was him being groomed into taking up the mantle of the avatar and mastering airbending. He also was isolated from other kids his age. His closest parental figure was Gyatso who was more of a teacher than a father. Also the Air Nomads were literally wiped out so that adds to the trauma pile.

I really don't think i have to talk about Zuko's family life here, but at least he had relatively positive parental figures in the form of Ursa (though i do have a burning personal dislike of ursa) and Iroh. Despite this his struggle around the subject of his family and his trauma relating to his upbringing was a focal point of his character arc.

Toph was raised in isolation by her asshole abelist parents who did not listen to her, sent people to capture and bring her back and then disowned her. (If my cursory understanding of 'the rift' is correct, I need to actually read it because i am unreasonably obsessed with the Beifong family.)

Where, pray tell, were they supposed to learn proper parenting skills? On their brief stint as child soldiers? While fighting a war as literal children?

There is the argument that they must've matured later in their lives, of course. But you can only recover so much from copious amounts of childhood trauma.

Being a bad parent doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Sure it makes you a failure in an incredibly delicate and important aspect of human life but it doesn't make you a bad person. And saying that it does takes a lot of nuance out of the conversation.

Like, do you know how easy it is to fuck up a child?

Especially that the ways the members of the Gaang 'fucked up' as parents feel mostly in character.

Bumi was going to face some struggles with self worth due to being the firstborn child of the Avatar and arguably one of the most powerful waterbenders in history, while being a nonbender himself. That much was unavoidable, no matter how his parents approached the issue.

And Aang was obviously going to be over the moon when Tenzin was born. Think about it. He's literally the last of his people. He has no one else 'like him'. No one else to pass down the traditions, the teachings that Gyatso and everyone else he cared about and who were horrifically murdered to. Aang is getting older and he feels like his culture and history and his entire life before he got trapped in that damned iceberg will die along with him. And then Tenzin is born and Tenzin can take up the mantle that had been thrust upon Aang.

I'm going to withhold my judgement on Izumi and Zuko, since we barely know anything about them. She seems well adjusted but that's all i can say right now. But Zuko has also been shown to be extremely, painfully aware of how fucked up his family is and has clearly been putting in a lot of work to unscrew what his ancestors have screwed up.

Toph situation feels very tragic to me,because it's obvious that she thought she thought she was doing better than her parents. She gave her daughters the freedom to do what they want, to not feel opressed and trapped like she had. How was she supposed to know that she was making her girls feel like she didn't love them? (Here's another post of mine about the Beifong family and how they just feel like they're cursed or something at this point.)

TLDR; I get annoyed by people saying that the Gaang being 'bad parents' ruined their characters, because to me it felt like it actually enhanced them.

Neither Aang nor Toph acted out of malice or a lack of love. On the contrary, Toph was trying not to repeat her parents mistakes, accidentally committing a bunch of her own. While Aang probably didn't even realise that he was neglecting Kya and Bumi.

But just loving your children doesn't always make you a good parent.

I think these flaws only add to them as characters. It makes them feel more real.

It's unrealistic and, frankly, just plain boring to go 'oh the Gaang were all good people so they would be good parents too.'

The Gaang were a gaggle of traumatised children forced into saving the world, because the adults around them failed them, that then grew into traumatised adults who have no idea how to be good parents.

[hypnoticsphere]

just some zukki thoughts

Sokka kissing Suki at the boiling rock, melting into her arms, feeling the way she hugs him so close. She’s alive. Of course she is. Suki is strong.

Zuko is standing behind them, shifting awkwardly when Suki notices him. He hasn’t gotten to talk to her… ever really, but especially not after the whole… burning down Kyoshi island thing. Suki raises her brow at Sokka and he just shrugs. Suki just nods, taking that as the only answer she needed regarding Zuko.

Zuko has never been comfortable with touch or proximity. Lu Ten, Uncle Iroh and Mother were the exceptions, but, they’re gone now. So, he should hate it. He should hate that he’s squished in between Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe and Suki of the Kysohi Warriors, two people that hate him, but. . . he doesn’t. They are currently in one of the coolers, one that Zuko himself was in only a few hours ago.

He doesn’t favor the way Sokka’s elbow juts into his ribs, but he doesn’t mind the closeness. It’s almost nice. Almost.

Hakoda is there too, being the entire reason Sokka and Zuko came in the first place. He eyes him intensely, with a look that Zuko can’t quite decipher. He glances between the three of them, seemingly in thought before nodding to himself. Zuko blinks, clearly not understanding what Hakoda’s thought process could be other than planning to throw him into the boiling lake.

He shrinks down further, avoiding the man entirely, willing himself to disappear.

He doesn’t speak for the entirety of their cruise. He listens as Sokka quietly recounts what happened after they escaped for the first time on Appa. He explains why Zuko is here now, how he will be teaching Aang fire bending. Zuko can only nod, not willing to look Hakoda in the eyes.

“And we’re sure we can trust him?” Hakoda says, not unkindly.

Zuko goes to speak, to ramble about how he’s changed, that he spoke out against his father but Sokka beats him to it.

“Of course. He’s the one that helped me rescue you.”

He says it so matter-of-fact that Zuko wants to scream. He feels the way his cheeks start to burn and prays to Agni that it’s only the steam from the lake.

“Okay.” Hakoda says, trusting his son implicitly. Zuko’s mind blanks, eyes widening, how was this so easy for them. How did this trust without a second thought? A part of him wants to yell that they are weak, gullible and the reason they are in this situation in the first place. The other part of him, however, wishes he had that. Hakoda and Suki trust Sokka, not him.

He doesn’t expect them too, not after what he’s done to them, not after what he did to Katara. She was so willing to help him, to heal his scar, and he was so blinded by the thought of getting his father’s love back, he threw away that chance. That chance of friendship. Of trust.

Katara can’t look at him. He can tell Aang is struggling when looking between the two of them. He wouldn’t blame Aang if he told him to leave and to never come back.

Aang is the Avatar, and he’s focused on making the right choice, thinking in-depth about his options and the risks he’s taking. Zuko admires him, truly. He’s come so far since their first meeting at the South Pole. Zuko winces a bit at the thought, and only hopes that they, and Agni, can forgive him. If not that, trust him not to hurt them anymore.

Although, Zuko doesn’t know if that’s an option anymore after what happened with Toph. He hates it. He hates that he was scared when she came to talk to him. He burnt her. She has forgiven him, but Zuko has not forgiven himself. He has to earn that forgiveness, he knows that.

Sokka is the one person that Zuko can’t quite understand. Sokka should be furious with him, and he was, for a while, but now he’s talking to Zuko, showing him useless things, putting his trust into him.

Zuko isn’t sure why the thought of breaking Sokka’s trust makes him so sick to his stomach. Suki too, for that matter.

[the-badger-mole]

How is Aang a terrible friend? Genuine question. I know he’s a mess in regards to katara and his family, but I never heard anything about him and his friends

There isn't much to hear about him and his friends, is there? He's friendly and likable and that gets him surrounded by friends who themselves are selfless and brave. That makes him look pretty good by association, but the deep, character shaping moments he's a part of are to his benefit. He has all these great friends to turn when he needs them, but who turns to him when they need comfort? The strongest showing I can think of that he had as a friend was sneaking to teach Katara waterbending when she was refused. That lasted right up until he was confronted by Pakku. Then Katara stood up to Pakku and called him on his stupidity, and Aang instead of standing ten toes down for his friend told Pakku she didn't mean it. Like consummate people pleaser he is. Katara fought that battle alone.

Let's not forget the way he literally blew up at his friends in the desert when Appa was kidnapped. Don't get me wrong, his being upset was completely understandable, but a good friend would apologize for that. Toph especially didn't deserve that for him, and she never gets an apology.

Aang is a terrible friend for the same reason he's a terrible partner and father. He's selfish. He receives way more than he gives. Yeah, he's cheerful and fun to be around, but that doesn't make him a good friend. Toph is a better friend, and she hardly gets any of her own story on screen.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Bless you for creating this blog, because I need to VENT

(obligatory not all Zutarians who want to enjoy their fics and arts in peace. you guys are cool and chill.)

Isn't it so interesting transparent and sad that every Zutarian critical analysis about "making the show better" is just about making Aang suffer more, and Zuko look good?

Katara should have kept her burn scars, because Aang needed to understand the consequences of his actions!

Right. Because immediately apologising, and becoming so guilty he doesn't fire bend for 2 seasons doesn't show remorse.

Aang should have given up his attachment to Katara to become a fully realised Avatar, otherwise he doesn't sacrifice anything! That would have been narratively satisfying!

Right. Because LOSING HIS ENTIRE CULTURE AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED isn't a "sacrifice". Which he will never get back. He'll have to live with the tragedy of being the last Airbender forever.

It's SO interesting how Zuko literally gets everything he wanted- locking up Ozai forever, getting a new father figure in Iroh, becoming Firelord, being with the woman he loves, finding his mother, even finding a new sister who adores him. His ONE tragedy is Azula, and even then she's hopefully on a journey of redemption.

But somehow that's not the "perfect ending" for Zuko. Nope, the only narratively satisfying ending is if Katara falls over to suck Zuko's dick.

So Zuko doesn't sacrifice anything permanently, and he literally gets everything he ever wanted. Aang will never get back what he lost, but apparently he has to give up Katara too. Funny how that works. Can you make your seething resentment any more obvious?

It's also amazing to me that so called Katara stans NEVER think about how KATARA would feel if Aang lost his romantic attachment to her. Girl hugged him several times, kissed him on the cheek and lips, blushed around him, threatened to murder Zuko if he hurt Aang...she was not subtle. But apparently no one cares about Katara's feelings.

Also, how GUILTY would Katara feel if Aang had to sacrifice his romantic attachment to become the Avatar? Do you think she'd be happy he had to sacrifice love for duty? Which BEST FRIEND would be okay with this situation? Even Sokka and Toph would be outraged.

If my best friend and fellow genocide survivor had to sacrifice his romantic attachment for duty, I'd be so mad I would murder Ozai myself. Yes, even if I didn't love him back, because HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. Nobody would even be able to find the body.

Katara and Zuko should have gotten together, that would have fully represented the themes of balance and redemption in the show!

FFS THERE IS A RELATIONSHIP THAT REPRESENTS THESE THEMES! IT'S ZUKAANG! SORRY YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOW!

Sorry, Sokka. Your relationship with Suki is toxic, because she's from the Earth Nation. You need to break up immediately. Better go find a nice firebender to have children with! Zukka anyone??

Did they miss the part when Uncle Iroh said, "Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole."

Or the Guru when he said, " Even the separation of the four elements is an illusion. If you open your mind, you will see that all the elements are one. Four parts of the same whole. "

AKA "balance" is when we learn from all 4 elements and grow as a person!!! It's got nothing to do with love!

BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN'T BE REDUCED TO THEIR ELEMENTS! THAT'S THE THEME OF THE SHOW!

Sorry, Katara. You represent water, and Zuko represents fire, so you have to marry each other for "balance". It's in the rules. How convenient.

Even though Aang is ALSO a fire bender, so marrying him would also represent "balance". But he doesn't count because he's not hot and sexy like Zuko with his anime hair.

sidenote - Aang is so hot. With his muscles , grey eyes, and his off-shoulder fit? Divine. Zutarians who think Aang isn't sexy have no taste.

sorry for the extremely long rant. I just couldn't take Zutarians and their "atla-critical" analysis anymore. It's the self-righteousness that gets me.

They can't just say, I love Zutara together because I like their dynamic. Instead they have to write long metas justifying why their ship is the "only one that strenghens the themes of the show" and Kataang / Maiko "weakens the narrative" and other bs.

thanks for this space, this was cathartic.

You're welcome, anon 💖

[zukosdualdao]

another reason i dislike the way this conflict is written is because it opened the floodgates for certain parts of the fandom to really mischaracterize others—namely, sokka and zuko.

some of it is light-hearted and, i think, not ill-intentioned. jokes about them being more okay with killing abound in the fandom, though, and while there’s a kernel of truth to them, i think they often ignore context.

and of course, there are people i feel speaking in much worse faith, criticizing them both for “bullying aang” over it and insisting they’re morally wrong to suggest aang needs to kill ozai.

but once again: context. they are harsh because the situation demands it. neither of them know another way (and by the way, neither does aang or the audience at this point) to defeat ozai, and if they don’t defeat ozai, the earth kingdom will be destroyed and the world will collapse.

people talk about zuko and sokka like they’re bloodthirsty killers, just, a-okay with killing no matter what the situation, but they’re not.

sokka is a pragmatist. he has never been a killing for killing’s sake guy. when he wanted to leave zuko to die back in the siege of the north, sure, he hated him, but that’s not why he wanted to leave him. zuko kept chasing them. it would simply be less dangerous and make their lives easier to leave him behind. sokka killed combustion man because he wouldn’t back down even when the guy who hired him was trying to get him to stop, so there was very clearly no reasoning with the guy, and they would have died if they hadn’t stopped him. likewise, sokka kills the soldiers who are approaching him and toph as they hang from the airship in order to protect himself an to protect toph. he kills in situations where he and his friends would have died if he didn’t. and it’s frankly uncomfortable that the rhetoric here is the main dark-skinned boy in the cast is unnecessarily violent when that’s never been his MO.

for his part, the narrative actually goes out of its way to show zuko is not someone who has the stomach for killing, whatever he tries to tell himself when he’s still a villain. as early as episode three, he can’t even being himself to burn zhao at all during their agni kai, let alone kill him. similarly, after attacking zhao in the siege of the north, he chooses to offer his hand. in his fight in zuko alone, most of what’s doing is fighting defensively, and even when he gets back up in a flurry of flame at the end, he doesn’t strike to kill gow, only incapacitating him. even hiring combustion man, while absolutely wrong of him to do, shows him not having the stomach to go through with it himself. and despite having every reason to hate ozai, when ozai tries to kill him in the day of black sun, zuko doesn’t strike to kill him as he redirects the lightning, instead aiming below him because he believed it’s not his place to kill ozai and because he’s learned not to be goaded into violence, which is powerful in itself. him advocating for aang to kill ozai is because he doesn’t see another way out (and, as established, how could he?) not because he’s out for blood in general. it’s complicated, of course, given his history of abuse with ozai, but that’s why zuko is so determined, because he’s finally realized who his father is and how much harm he’ll do if he’s not stopped.

as frustrated as i am by the fandom rhetoric around zuko and sokka when it comes to this, though, at least they get to express their misgivings and perspectives.

interestingly, i’ve not often seen katara get quite the same treatment—not that i want her to, but it’s interesting because katara tries to express her concerns, and aang and the narrative don’t really let her.

she says, “aang, we do understand, it’s just—“ but gets cut-off before we can hear her perspective at all. if i had to guess, though, it would have been something like “it’s just that we have to stop ozai no matter what”, which is, in essence, what zuko and sokka are also saying.

but katara doesn’t get to. at once, the creators makes sure she isn’t allowed to verbally disagree with aang (despite showing she wants to) here in a way that has a lasting impact on how people remember her own perspective in this conflict, while also making sure she gets interrupted, yelled at, and blamed for not having an answer aang also doesn’t have. it’s just… it’s very frustrating.

[umalvie]

to me, zuko’s relationship with toph is so antagonistic on his behalf because she’s the one member of the gaang (outside of suki who he simply doesn’t consider to be in the gaang tbh) who he least empathizes with, at large and in relation to her trauma. the reason for this is that unlike aang’s, katara’s, and sokka’s traumas which he sympathizes with + connects his trauma to in various ways of arguable aptness, zuko is uncomfortable with the striking closeness of toph’s trauma to his because of how class and privilege factor into their both of their trauma. aang, katara, and sokka are not privileged in any real way, esp not one that reminds him at all of his situation re status and privilege.

zuko finds aang, katara, and sokka's trauma relatable on a level that makes him feel equally victim of the fire nation; that's why he draws lines between kya being murdered in an ongoing genocide to protect katara and ursa, who was certainly not anti imperialism from anything we've seen of her, disappearing to protect him from his abusive father and grandfather. both situations are unpleasant and involve maternal sacrifice, but one is a domestic ordeal while the other is an act of racial violence and genocide. the connection exists, but the context is radically different. still, zuko likes that he can draw those parallels between his trauma and katara's. it allows him more room to feel like a better victim and arguably a bigger one in the context of the war, despite the fact that his status means he did in many ways benefit from his family and country being the perpetrators of it and his own personal role in it throughout books 1, 2, and 3.

i will give the obligatory disclaimer that zuko is a child soldier and he does side with the oppressed in the end, but he himself is not oppressed by the fire nation's genocidal war as a fire nation prince, let alone when he is the fire nation crown prince. he is someone who directly benefited from this war. yes, his father was abusive, yes, he was exiled for 2 and a half years, but he was still afforded many privileges because of the war. that does not negate his domestic suffering or his political exile, but those privileges still came about because of the suffering of others, including the gaang.

this is a nuanced situation. it is extremely complex and hard to accept the simultaneous truths at play here, even for adults, let alone for an extremely traumatized, black and white thinking 16 year old boy. zuko needs to be a victim in the context of the war as well as his family to alleviate his guilt about his participation in it prior to joining the gaang. he needs to relate his trauma to theirs. i will say that he doesn't ever seem to attempt this with suki nor does she offer her trauma to him, but that's more about both the writers and zuko not caring much if at all for her as a person.

but toph receives clear rejection from zuko when she tries to relate to him. her attempts to endear herself to him and to open up to him are shot down. why? surely toph suffered because of the war too. she's from the earth kingdom. but she never suffered a personal loss that zuko respected or related to. toph is not given any dead relatives. she was abused but not in a way zuko would understand, and her abuse did not negate that she lived a relatively comfortable life for being in the earth kingdom during the war. she was rich, she was cared for, she was shielded by privilege in many ways. while zuko is of course far richer than toph, he doesn't want to confront that reality. he doesn't want her privilege to make his obvious. he needs to focus on his suffering, his abusive father, his struggling to fit in as heir, and his time in exile and poverty. he can't accept the idea of those struggles coexisting with his privilege, so he can't accept the idea of toph's either. she has to just be whining about nothing. she has to be a nuisance not to be taken seriously. otherwise, he has to turn and face things about himself he doesn't want to be true.

could he grow to care about her and face his own privilege in the future? sure. but he doesn't in canon.

[eponastory]

Alright let's break this silly argument down a bit shall we?

First off, yes, everyone in the Gaang has trauma. We know this, and we don't disregard that. We know that Sokka and Katara have trauma. We know Aang has guilt over what happens with the Air Nomads when he ran away. We know Toph has baggage because her parents kept her confined because of her disability. That's all been established.

Comparing trauma does not work in anyone's favor because it's different from person to person and the way that it's treated. Hell, there are FOUR types of PTSD and not all of them have to do with existential circumstances. Some of these types have nothing to do with being in a situation that causes panic.

But it's how we deal with our trauma that sets us on the path to healing.

In Katara's case, she had some pretty severe Survivors Guilt. Not necessarily PTSD, but it could be argued that she does have that. It changed her life irrevocably and that is something she had to deal with. She does get to deal with it in TSR but this leads to conflict between her and the group because there is this perception of her that isn't really her.

Sokka has to rise above his issues with being a non-bender and feeling left out. I also feel like he hides a lot behind his humor to deflect how he really feels about things. This is what happens when you have anxiety about meeting expectations. He has expectations he has to fulfill, and it never goes right. He's afraid of disappointing people he cares about and doesn't want to let them down. He isn't a failure, but when he does actually do something amazing, there is Imposter Syndrome. We don't see it much, but we do in NAtLA.

I'm not going to talk about Aang. I refuse.

Toph has been sheltered her whole life because she is blind. She is at home with herself, but she doesn't like anyone to do anything for her. She eventually learns that it's okay to have help when she needs it and that it's okay to have friends. (Not comparing trauma here, but she has the minor character arch out of all of them)

Zuko is... a lot to unpack. At the beginning, we know next to nothing about him except that he is the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and he's hunting the Avatar to reclaim his 'honor'. He's hot-headed, but we never actually see him hurting anyone. He threatens, but he doesn't want to hurt people. That's the first sign that things aren't all they seem with Sifu Hotman. Throughout book one we get to know him a little better and see that he is Banished from home because of a 'misunderstanding' and he was also brutally abused by his own father. In the Netflix Adaptation it's more nuanced at how Ozai is playing his children against each other for his own benefit. It sucks but it's also good writing (some of the best writing is done with the characters of the Fire Nation) but anyway, we get an understanding of where Zuko's trauma comes from.

He has been emotionally abused by his narcissistic sociopath of a father because Zuko didn't have that 'spark' in his eyes at birth (not the entire reason but I'll get to that in a bit). Azula was the Prodigy, so Ozai put all his focus on to her. Then, his mother literally killed Azulon to save Zuko's life, but he doesn't find out until later. All of that plus the Agni Kai against his father is why he is so invested in finding the Avatar. Ozai seemingly took everything away from Zuko, but Zuko still loves his father and his people.

So why is he chasing the Avatar? Because he wants to go back to everything he knows. It's not just about getting back something that was never really taken away, it was all about getting back everything Ozai took from him.

Zuko never lost his honor, but he had everything else stripped from him and was humiliated for it.

He eventually grows through this and begins to heal himself with confronting Ozai on the Day of Black Sun. That was when he said 'fuck this shit I'm doing this my way' and that royally pisses Ozai off.

So if you don't like that our argument has better standing than yours, I suggest you go take some creative writing classes and learn about character development.

[likealittleheartbeat]

hey there! can i ask you to elaborate on something?:)

when you reblogged the scene from 'the firebending masters' ep where aang and zuko are judged by the dragons, you said that "now they stand beside the person they thought had what they most longed for" in relation to their yin/yang dynamic.

i remember zuko's monologue in 'the siege of the north' about how aang is like azula and things come to him easy - something that zuko may feel jealous of and long for. but in what sense do you think zuko has what aang longs for the most, and does he acknowledge this?

Such a good question referencing this post and these tags:

First, I’d say that when I talk about longing here, it’s not conscious longing, it’s a deeper subconscious longing for that which will resolve their inner conflict but the character has not necessarily articulated it for themselves or even come to the conclusion themselves. @avatarsymbolism has a nice little post about zuko and aang’s wants and needs. And while I don’t agree whole-heartedly with the wants and needs they land on for the characters—Aang’s need to “mature and step into his role as Avatar” is clearly more nuanced since the Avatar state he masters at the end of season 2, as mentioned in the post, ends up getting him killed rather than serving as a narrative culmination—the framework of wants and needs with the initiator of a characters’ “lie,” which might be better understood as a character’s misunderstanding, is a nice way to discuss it. What I’m talking about with longing is their need.

Therefore, Zuko’s longing is not for the prodigiousness of Azula and Aang. That’s his want. What he needs is restraint, patience, and openness. What the framework of wants and needs hides, however, is something atla does incredibly well. The characters already possess and have demonstrated the features they need, just as an aspect of yin exists within Yang and vice versa. It resists the theory that desire is created by a lack. The problem is not in the characters’ ability but in their awareness of themselves and the bigger picture, the grand design. “Destiny? What would a boy know of destiny?” Jeong-Jeong asks in the episode that directly follows the Storm and the Blue Spirit which have paralleled and intertwined Aang and Zuko. “If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river’s destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on, out of his control. He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean.” The understanding Aang and Zuko reach in the dragon’s fire is their ocean. Zuko finally understands that his dogged pursuit of the avatar and his honor and all the failings to be self-disciplined towards the rules of his father’s court were related to his own values of restraint, patience, and openness to others’ lived experiences. He can finally see a vision of himself that is integrated rather than lacking.

Aang longs for an inner drive, a motivating force, a reason to live and, most importantly, to act decisively that belongs to him rather than the expectations of others for him. Zuko’s clarity on his desire for his honor provides such a stark contrast to Aang on this point. All Aang can manage to do is try to avoid and escape the mantle placed on him while barely even receiving a chance to consider self-determination. The lack of a motivating force is compounded by his survival of the genocide—why go on if no one remains who can understand you? why do anything if it can’t undo the loss?

He is teased by Bumi: “Typical airbender tactic: avoid and evade.” It haunts Aang’s arc as a criticism of his approach to life. He blames himself for running away and leaving his people to suffer the genocide without his protection. He is criticized for fooling around rather than being more direct in mastering the avatar state. He is told to stop thinking like an airbender by Toph in order to master earth—“there’s no different angle, no clever solution, no trickity-trick.” And then he doubles down on himself when he dies and feels that he’s abandoned the world again.

When he reawakens on the ship, we get another parallel to Zuko as Aang asserts a desire for honor, but the goal collapses into the stormy ocean with Aang before the end of the episode. Aang would like to be determined in the same clear way as Zuko, but he keeps having to face his inability to embody that the way Zuko does.

In “the firebending masters,” Aang finally starts to understand that his fleeting nature has an underlying motive. The nomads philosophies resisted the pressures of honor and productivity important to others in order to emphasize the illusion of separation, the potential for unexpected joy, and the inherent value of life. This openness is a drive itself, Aang realizes finally, though its action seems like inaction to others. All the dodging of attacks and duties Aang performed had a greater purpose to render freedom and reconnection, as if an invisible thread had been trailing behind him stringing all the places and peoples he met back together, across distances and even across death and time. He is finally allowed to find his own reason.

[sokkastyles]

How much do you feel Zuko is to blame for his part in Ba Sing Se? I've seen people saying what he did there was never meaningfully brought up or addressed, so I'd love to know what you think.

Never meaningfully brought up or addressed?

It's a major plot point that heavily affects the narrative on multiple sides. It's also something that is telegraphed as something Zuko instantly regrets and will regret. It's a pretty classic pyrrhic victory, and part of the reason it's not continuously brought up like some of the other things Zuko did is because Zuko never gets to realize the benefits of it.

Even when he's being pampered back in the palace, even while his father is praising him, even while he's standing in front of a cheering crowd, it's pretty clear that he's not happy, that his victory in Ba Sing Se is based on a lie and something he knows he should not have done.

Ba Sing Se marks a turning point in Zuko's narrative that pretty clearly primes him for redemption, not just because he flirted with switching sides but failed, but because from the moment he chooses the wrong side, he knows, and everyone in the audience knows, that he chose wrong.

That's why it's not continually brought up or reminded to us that Zuko did a bad thing. Because he's already paid the price for it.

I've also talked a lot about how Zuko is manipulated by Azula, which doesn't negate the harm he does by choosing her side, but it does mitigate the gaang's understanding of why he did what he did and their ability to forgive him. Particularly with Katara, who is the person who does continually confront Zuko with what he did in Ba Sing Se. She gets the last word the first time Zuko tries to join the gaang and is rejected, and then specifically brings up Ba Sing Se to the others, and they agree with her, all except Toph.

Katara brings it up again twice after he's accepted into the gaang. But the reason she brings it up is not because Zuko needs to like, do reparations or something, or be continually punished for something that he felt bad about the instant he did it. It's because she can't trust him again after having her trust betrayed before.

Which is why the focus is more on Zuko earning back Katara's trust, and Katara coming to understand that Zuko has genuinely changed.

Katara also comes to understand that Zuko was manipulated and that if he didn't side with Azula in Ba Sing Se, he would have been brought back as her prisoner. This is important for Katara as it relates to her arc with Azula and how that relates to her arc with Zuko. I'll never get over talking about how these three characters are intertwined. Katara goes from having to fight Zuko and Azula together in Ba Sing Se, after feeling betrayed by Zuko and not understanding why he sided with her, to protecting Zuko from Azula when she comes back for him at the Western Air Temple, and finally joining him against Azula, warning Zuko when she realizes Azula is trying to manipulate him again, and finally saving him from her.

Same with Zuko's arc with Iroh and how his betrayal at Ba Sing Se is about accepting Iroh's forgiveness, not about the specific actions he did. It's about Zuko needing to accept that he could be forgiven for his choices just as much as it is about atoning for them, so continually bringing it up as a mark against him would be pointless.

As far as him atoning for the specific actions, I think saving the world should be enough.

There's also the (neglected) parallel of Zuko and King Kuei as leaders that is established in "The Earth King" episode, with Zuko dreaming of being on the throne while being manipulated by a dragon with Azula's voice and not being able to make a decision, while King Kuei's inaction leads to the fall of his city and Azula using the Dai Li to take control. Zuko becoming the leader of his nation and ambassador of peace to the nation he helped to conquer definitely has a symmetry to it, and I think both of them work together and learn from each other post-series.

I've said this repeatedly, but what a character did in the past matters less than whether they've stopped doing bad things and are not motivated to continue doing those things. Once Zuko has proven himself as on the side of good, and once the characters who were personally wronged have already forgiven him, why would it need to be continually brought up?

As Toph points out, there's a difference between holding someone accountable and letting hurt feelings get in the way of making progress towards a greater good.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I think my biggest issue with the live action atla is how all the issues the characters had were so... individualistic? They were issues primarily connected to their own self or disagreements with family members, and mainly conquered through finding their own power and learning badass bending and being a prodigy who learns things all by themselves.

I'm not sure how to phrase this properly but in the original, each character was influenced by the world they grew up in. Aang's denial, rage and occasional selfishness stems from him being an outsider to this world - he's a kid from 100 years ago with fresh grief from an event long past, no understanding of what living through war is like, and the weight of everything on his shoulders. Katara's anger and mothering comes from being cut off from her culture, having to step up and be her mother, and being treated as inferior to the men for being a woman. Sokka's sexism is a young boy's limited understanding of the role that men and women play in his tribe, and his consistent feelings of failure to live up to expectations or contribute to the group is a result of, again, having to grow up to take the position of leader far too quickly; trying to be his father. Everything about Toph is a pushback against the way she was smothered and restricted - the way the world makes assumptions about her because of her blindness. And for all that Zuko has daddy issues and whatnot, the core of his character is actually him wrestling with his upbringing, what it means to lead and serve a people, and questioning the nationalistic propaganda that was a fact of life for not just him, but everyone in the Fire Nation.

Atla is essentially one big road trip story. The detours are important, because it's on these that the cast find the limitations of their worldviews both broadened and challenged - and it's through others that their development occurs for the most part. Sure, they become stronger power-wise too - but that's not what actually resolves their internal issues. Their flaws are a product of their natures meeting their environments, so it's only by being in new environments and learning from the new people they meet that they grow, change, and adapt - all things that are absolutely pivotal for the cast to impact the world in turn in the way they all eventually wind up doing.

And I don't know, I just felt that wasn't there in the live action. Shades of it, sure, but, like I said, it was very self-contained, and didn't feel like a product of the world they grew up in. And the solution was usually just. Talk a few things over. Learn a cool new skill - without a master? You... you need a master, because bending is a martial art, not a superpower. No one in Avatar is supposed to learn everything alone... that's the whole point, and why one nation cannot rule all of them - they are all necessary, and all have something of worth to teach to others. Anyways, it was weird idk idk...

Feel like I could've explained this a lot better but this is the gist. Hope it somewhat came across?

[impossiblycolorfulpanda]

An alternate scene of mine about the debate of Ozai's fate if Aang was separated from the gaang and was held captive by the FN right after being revived in Ba Sing Se until Zuko delivers him back to the gaang as he tries joining.

Suki: But he looks so sweet and innocent.

Zuko: Well that sweet kid grew up to be a monster and the worst father in the history of fathers.

Aang: But he's still your father none the less.

Zuko: You're going to defend him?

Aang: No. I know he's done horrible deeds and I know that I had to take lives at the North Temple and the North Pole to protect innocent people and Gyatso resorted to taking lives when he tried to save himself. But I don't think I can destroy the fire lord this time.

Sokka: Sure you can. You're the Avatar. If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you.

Aang: Would the fire nation feel the same way?

Sokka: Yeah...?

Aang: Regardless of what he is, the fire nation idolize him. They appreciate him as their ruler, not to mention Sozin has been spreading lies about me and other nations for generations. Everyone was indoctrinated, including Ozai and Azula. We need to show them that we're the good guys.

Zuko: An admirable idea, but it's not possible. My father finds the very concepts of mercy and peace to be laughable weaknesses. Indoctrinated or not he's not gonna stop doing horrible things.

Aang: Not everyone in the fire nation feel the same way. I believe if we showed mercy to the fire lord, they'll appreciate it, Azula included, even if he doesn't.

Katara: Azula?

Aang: She's not as ruthless as her father is. She tries to be only because she loves her father. He has to live, for Azula's sake if nothing else.

Zuko: My father's a bad influence on Azula, she'll be better off with him dead.

Aang: How do you know she won't become worse than ever in the process of trying to avenge him? Can he at least live long enough until she and the others are shown the truth and reject his policies like you?

Sokka: Buddy, Azula shot you with lightning, right after Katara healed you, she held you, Suki, and my dad prisoner, she's a good enough of a liar to fool even Toph, and she was the one who inspired the fire lord to commit the same genocide as the air nomads in the first place. She's clearly evil in her own right.

Aang: She could've taken my life again in the worst of ways. She could've done the same to Suki and your dad. She could've placed me in the boiling rock next to them. But she didn't. She promised to be civil if I was civil first and she delivered. I got to spend the most time with her and I know there is good in her. I can feel it. She can be saved. She can be turned to the good side, but not if I kill her father.

Toph: Azula brainwashed you the same way Long Feng brainwashed Jet, didn't she.

Aang: No.

Zuko: I get where you're coming from. She was the one who overturned my banishment and kept quiet about my secret conversations with our uncle. She even asked me to go to the beach with her. But we may have to prepare to put her out of the way as well if she becomes a big enough problem.

Aang: You can't seriously mean that! She's your sister, she wouldn't have done any of those things if she wasn't capable of love!

Katara: Aang, we understand what your saying it's just...

Aang: Just what, Katara? What?

Katara: We're trying to help!

Aang: Then, when you figure out a way for me to save the Fire Lord, the Fire Nation, and Azula from themselves and restore their internal balance, I'd love to hear it! (Walks away.)

Katara: Aang, don't walk away from this! (Walks toward Aang.)

Zuko: (Puts a hand on Katara's shoulder to stop her.) Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

Suki: He and Azula didn't have a thing, did they?

Zuko: I don't know. But they did seem close and friendliest to each other until the war meeting, they even danced together at a party that was not too far from here before he helped us burn it all down.

[atla-confessions]

Katara is ‘motherly’ due to being pushed into that role when her mother had died, as there was nobody else to do it. She does not like being perceived as motherly and gets furious at Toph for calling her that. Let’s repeat it: She does not like being perceived as motherly and gets furious at Toph for calling her that. She shows her affection that way: being caring and making sure her friends and family are safe.

Zuko is not ‘fatherly’ in the slightest; he struggles with his anger and is not emotionally mature. In fact, he barely understands himself. A lot of people seem to think he’s fatherly due to scenes with Aang and the whole ‘get out of the bison’s mouth’ line. That’s really pushing it, don’t you think? A few scenes and suddenly he’s this father figure? I don’t think so. It is quite literally yelled at us that he never thinks things through: he’s irrational and short-tempered. If that’s fatherly to you, I might have to give you a hug or something. He literally struggled with father issues the entire show and would freak out if you called him fatherly due to not wanting to be anything like Ozai.

Sokka is ‘fatherly/brotherly/motherly/uncle-y’ or whatever the fuck (seriously, people can’t seem to decide what he is) because he had to provide for an entire tribe alone since there were no men to hunt with him. Because of his father’s departing words to him being ‘Being a man is knowing where you’re needed most, and that’s here, protecting your sister’ he takes it to heart and finds worth in making sure everyone he cares about is safe. He believes it his job to make sure the people around him are safe which is why he tries so hard to lead the group. (Well, that and his need to be great since he has an inferiority complex and tends to overcompensate.) He shows his affection by being overprotective to those he loves and trying to make them feel better with humor and such.

Katara doesn’t like being known as motherly and only is that way due to trauma and sexist gender roles in the SWT. Zuko isn’t fatherly, he literally struggles with father issues. Sokka is parental due to the pressuring role he was pushed into when all the men in the tribe left.

I could also be really wrong though. I haven’t rewatched ATLA in a hot minute, but I am planning to. This is just what I had gathered from the show and why Dadko, Momtara, and Dadka irk me. Two of these are due to intense trauma and being pushed into a high-responsibility role and the other one is just a literal stretch that ruins his complex characterization, and completely disregards his own issues with his father. I’ll probably get back to this if I rewatch ATLA and realize I remembered something wrong.

X