#tools don't speak but tools work with information so she will give you information

[ryoalouette]

Machi's #1 Batman Prompt

Cass' texts are super long and detailed. She was trained to not to talk or make noises bc tools don't talk but once Bruce taught her of debriefings and reports she realizes that as long as is in writing form is ok to say things bc is important for future missions so she treats her messages as such and dumps everything she ever wanted to say on her texts

[subsystems]

hope sending ask is ok rn, i have hard time looking resource. looking for book how to co-exist with independent dissociative parts (have system but not feel safe in saying DID yet). cannot do therapist addressing parts yet but want to cope in daily life. hope can help. or others comment/reblog and give. thank you 🍀

This ask was sent a while ago, I hope you're doing okay now anon. You say you can't talk to a therapist yet but I hope you have someone else in your life who is supportive and you can talk to about these things! You shouldn't have to face this alone.

Even though you don't have therapeutic support, it's still possible to build up communication and cooperation with your parts. I reblog a lot of tips and resources to my coping tag if you want to check that out. Here are some other resources that you might find helpful:

DID/OSDD Self-help Masterlist There are so many resources here, categorized by different topics. You'll find stuff here for both survivors and loved ones, and you don't need to have DID/OSDD to use them!

Beauty After Bruises Blog You'll find so many articles here on coping with daily life as a dissociative survivor. I love how they're written, they feel very approachable and almost calming to read.

Dissociative Living Admittedly, I haven't read many of these articles but the few I've seen have been good. I think their writing is very approachable for people who are new to all of this.

DIS-SOS Lots of advice and informative articles on living with DID here -- in both English and German! I've found some really interesting and unique coping tips here, I definitely recommend it. It's actually because of this blog that I discovered one of my favorite methods of system communication.

CTAD Clinic Youtube Channel A channel run by the director of this clinic which specializes in dissociation and trauma. I've watched probably all of his videos -- they're very good! Lots of the videos provide tools and self-help tips on coping with dissociation & dissociative parts!

Carolyn Spring's Blog You'll find amazing articles here about trauma and dissociation, but do be aware that the author is both a professional and a survivor with DID herself. She isn't afraid to talk about her lived experience, shining a light on the reality of trauma and dissociation which can be confronting but oh-so empowering to read.

System Speak Podcast A podcast run by a DID system. She talks about her own healing journey as well as interviews professionals and dives into the psychology behind trauma and dissociation. Personally, I think the website is a bit hard to navigate but every podcast I've listened to has been extremely informative and relatable!

Self-help books can also be extremely useful if you don't have access to a therapist. You can find a bunch of free downloads here! I would recommend starting with "Got Parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder" by ATW. Personally, I think this is the best book to start with. It's a bit old and there are some outdated ideas in it, but I think it's a very gentle entry into learning system communication and coping with DID if you have never worked with a therapist.

Some other resources that might be useful:

Strategies for coping with distressing voices

FREE 100 page e-book for trauma survivors

Talk/vent to listeners on this non-crisis support chat line

Apply for a grant to receive financial help or a therapy box -> (Also learn about the Therapy Box Project! If anyone is able to donate, please do!)

- Sunflower

[wyvchard]

Birds of a Feather...

Agent Phoenix found themself displaced in time after waking up to Reginald's younger self. Chaos ensues.

Content Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, guns, restraints, Reggie's field days, Phoenix chaos

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you doing alright?" Agent Phoenix groaned as they woke up in a rough bed feeling far worse than the time they stayed up until daylight. They took a deep breath to calm down in order to observe their surroundings. It wasn't as clinical as a typical Zoraxis base, a relief to them.

"Nothing too unfamiliar. Where am I?" They glanced at the source of the voice, suddenly pausing when they finally registered a familiar looking face peering at them with worry.

"Is there something on my face?" He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms to show his disapproval. "If you think these bandages look horrible, you should take a good look at yourself."

"You look like someone I know... just... younger. It's not what you think. I know I look horrible but believe me, I can manage." They looked away, taking a deep breath to focus on something other than their heavy limbs. "I've been through worse."

"You were found unconscious in the middle of nowhere. What could be worse than that? Actually, I take that back."

Phoenix gave him a sympathetic smile before getting up, much to his panic. They chuckled at his fussing. "You remind me too much of my dad. I'm sorry for laughing. He frets a lot."

"Who wouldn't? I know I can be stubborn as a mule but you seem to be on another level."

"Well, I'd say I like to take things on another level." They smirked, amusement spilling all over them, only for them to frown when they felt their ear emptier than usual.

"We confiscated your earpiece. For some reason, it caught the attention of one of our technicians we're taking a poke at it a little bit."

"I'm getting it back, right?"

"If you can get R&D to return it, that is. Speaking of, I have to go. Please stay here? I'm sure some of doctors have plenty to be curious about. Would it be alright if you satisfy their curiosity a bit?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I? All I can do is sit up at the moment." They mumbled, shooing him off. A part of him remains unconvinced but he has somewhere to be: Roxana is waiting for him.

Phoenix absolutely hated the probing that came moments later. They miss the fact they didn't have to answer questions that weren't "where does it hurt? Have you injested anything you shouldn't? How are you even alive?" or any of the sort.

They so badly wanted to grab the clipboard from the doctor with their TK but that was classified information that mustn't come out, so they put on a smile and answered as best they could without releasing anything classified.

They really wish to know who that young man was, seeing as though he looked a lot like the older photos of their beloved handler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Reginald..." Roxana stared at her friend who approached her with a silly grin. "You know you really shouldn't have taken their earpiece. Who knows what it is made of."

"You are curious about it as well. Don't give me that look." He stifled a huff, watching as she hands him some schematics. "Roxana, you know I don't understand any of this."

She sighed, pointing at a stool nearby a table with an open sewing kit. "The earpiece is definitely more compact than anything the agency is capable of producing at the moment." Her eyes darted to him working on one of the tears she accidentally created when it was snagged by a tool. She really needs to make a case to allow a bit of leeway in the dress code.

"That's not what I'm interested about. Why is their earpiece so tied to my own? I know I don't pay attention to the other agents as much as I should but I'm sure I can recognize someone like them."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well-" His words were cut off by a transmission. "I have to go. My handler is telling to check out the source of a distress call in the building."

He gently put away the repaired garment and rushed outside, leaving her alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Agent Phoenix is currently curled up in a corner, one spare radio borrowed from the "supply closet" (empty and unused office) they barricaded themself in.

They need to get evac there. Immediately. Everything felt so familiar yet so wrong. There were some places where they can delude themselves they were back in their office, bullet holes and all. Yet it was too new to them, as if someone patched up the structural failings on the surface.

They held their breath, really hoping that the mail slot there wasn't going to have a-

"Woah! Gun safety rules aside, it's me. Come on. Please get outta there." He sounded surprised at the fact his gun was practically ripped from his grasp in the mail slot although here was a hint of reprimand.

"Leave me alone! I wanna go back. I miss him so much." They covered their ears, still shivering from how similar the young man's voice was to his.

"There isn't really much to miss there. A lot of things you can shoot at point blank range. And I don't think he's around."

They counted the seconds, internally cursing at the fact they need to use their TK to open the door in order to escape.

Despite their preparation, they managed to falter, earning him a chance to tie their limbs with a rope.

"Let me go! I swear I only want to go home." Indignation laced their voice as their struggled. "Please. I'm sure they're worried."

"I only came with a gun because you were reported to have a knife on you. How did you even manage to sneak it past us?"

"Well, why was your first thought to push a gun through a mail slot to calm me down?"

Their unfriendly glare made him wear a wry smile as he mumbled an apology. "Well, why wouldn't I be guarded? You were sending a distress call to the agency, not to mention your earpiece always connects to mine."

Eyes widening at the realization, they looked resigned a few seconds later. "... I won't participate in any questions until you do this one thing for me, Mr. Reginald Crane."

A shiver ran up his spine as they gave him a devious grin.

"Please ask Dr. Roxana Prism if she's willing to make a tine machine with me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have NO idea where I'm going with this so this is a one shot for now.

Tag List:

@phoenix-and-found-family, @the-one-and-only-043, @ghostlystarwanderer, @jellyfishgummy

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Alto/Wolff

The Others... and a secret

Note in advance: this episode contains a bit more text than in the previous parts. But it was important because it answers a few questions that some of you may have already asked yourself.

Nick went outside with Morgana and closed the bedroom door behind him. Then he took a few steps and leaned against the wall. “Thanks, I probably couldn't have done it on my own"/ ”like I said, it would have been better if I'd been informed earlier that she was expecting a child. Worse things could have happened”.

Nick paused for a moment before continuing. “You lack the means to properly examine the pregnant ladies in the city…"/ ”Mh, that's correct, yes. Above all, I don't have an ultrasound machine, there are so many things that could be detected and ruled out with it…"/ ‘It won't be long before… you'll have one of those machines at your disposal’ / ‘What do you mean?’/ ‘I've requested one’. Morgana was shocked and curious. “But where, by whom?"/…

“From people out there somewhere. I asked them for it. “/ “What… What kind of people are they?”/ “Hh… Some who have had me firmly in their grip for months. And it's up to me that… That nothing has happened here so far"/ ‘Mr. Alto…’/ ‘I value you as a very loyal person, Dr. Wolff, not just as a doctor’.

Morgana looked at him skeptically “You want to confide something in me and I'm not allowed to tell anyone, am I right?”/ “Yes, not yet. I'll talk to the people here soon, when I've got the hardest part over with"/ ‘and that would be?’. He looked at her seriously with tired eyes “Is there something you're particularly attached to, Dr.? What's the most important thing in your life?”/ “A few things. My own life, my husband, my child… My friends”.

“That's quite a lot. For me, it's been money for as long as I can remember. I learned early on how to get it, how to invest it wisely and how to spend it wisely. But money… It's also a tool you can use to manipulate people. Now I'm the one being manipulated. I have a lot of assets, it's not small. And that has gotten through to these people”

Morgana tried to follow and understand what Nick was telling her. “So�� they want your money?"/ ‘All the valuables I own…’/ ‘And why don't you give them what they want?’. He took a deep breath. “Would you just give away something you've worked so hard for all your life?”. Morgana's voice became a little louder, as she seemed to understand what this was all about. “honestly, what do you have to lose except your money?"/ ‘hh… I know what you're getting at, Dr. Wolff’.

“You probably think now, just like my wife, that I'm stubborn. Yes, I am. But they also said that if I've given them everything, we won't get any more help from them…"/ ”What help have we had so far? We haven't seen any of it…”. Nick found it increasingly difficult to speak as his conscience began to torment him, “We were selfish, I…”. Her voice became more insistent. “Now tell me!"/ ‘They provided us with food and we weren't supposed to give any of it away’/ ”What…why?”

“Because there are other sick minds sitting there who want to know… how long the people here can get by without help and food now. So… Not only do they want all my assets, they also treat the people here like guinea pigs. When that meteor storm came and destroyed everything. That was just the right opportunity for them to test how humans cope in extreme situations…"/ ”Please what? I'm… Completely confused, excuse me”. Morgana had to sit down.

“They just wanted to leave us here to our fate? And you're going along with it, Mr.Alto?”. Nick couldn't look her in the eye. “They said if I lifted a finger, they'd stop supplying us"/ ”What supply? We…"/ ”For me, my family. As I said, the whole thing was an experiment”. Morgana was stunned. „And , how do they know what's going on here? Are there cameras here?”. He shook his head. “No, we should only ever observe and report. Gerhard and Nancy…"/ ”They should be spying on us, am I right? My God, that's really sick!”.

Morgana had to process the whole thing first. She was angry, surprised, many feelings overwhelmed her . “How… How did this contact even come about, Mr. Alto? How…”. Morgana hadn't really paid attention to it at first, because she had been looking after Vita the whole time. But she remembered this device in the bedroom. “Is that a Transmitter? Where did…”. Nick collected his thoughts again and tried to explain everything to her in detail. “The day before it all happened… I took it from the town hall because I wanted to do some restoration work on it. Actually, it was just an exhibit.”

“Now I remember, it was there in a bigger glass case in the foyer". He nodded. ”actually, it belonged in a museum long ago. Be that as it may. After the initial shock of the impacts was somewhat digested and we realized that the internet was down, I came up with the idea of getting the thing operational. Unfortunately, I just didn't know how to find a frequency. And then… they found me”.

Morgana had many questions running through her mind. “How did they contact you through this device? How did they know which frequency to select? How…"/ ”Believe me, I've often asked myself these questions too. Someone seems to have known that I have one of these devices. I just wonder who the hell it is. Maybe someone from here?"/ ‘That's nonsense!’.

Nick stood up and took a few steps across the room. “Why nonsense, Dr.?"/ ”Well, first of all, I don't think anyone else here has such a device except you. And I'd put my hand in the fire for every single person here. Who would come up with something like that? I would never voluntarily put my friends, my family or anyone else in the city I live in at risk. Do you understand?”.

Nick took a deep breath and exhaled. “I'm sure you're right, who would put up with such macabre nonsense here?"/ ‘You said… you get deliveries, right?’/ ‘Yes, food and other things for everyday use.’/ ‘Where do these deliveries come from?’/ „Where? I don't know, but definitely across the sea. There's a landing stage somewhere far away. The things were unloaded there and we pick them up by arrangement.”

“By arrangement… Does that mean they were never there when a delivery came?"/ ”No. We never knew when they were going to deliver to us. We were only informed by radio when the delivery arrived and we could pick it up. But apart from the goods, there was no one to be seen there, the ship was usually gone by then”. Morgana put her hands to her head. There was just so much information she had to deal with. “hh, my goodness… My head is spinning and I… I have to get back to my child”.

“Dr. Wolff…"/ ”If I've understood all this correctly, it's up to you whether we survive or perish here. I don't know how long I can carry this secret around with me now. You should talk to the people here urgently. Otherwise… I will do it” / ‘I'll do it, I promise you, as soon as…’ / ”You'd better not promise anything. Good night, Mr. Alto!”. Morgana picked up her things and made her way home.

After Morgana had left the house, Nick stood in front of the closed front door for a moment. And as he said, he had already made his decision. But he still didn't know how to deal with the consequences. He shook off his thoughts for the rest of the evening and went into the bedroom. “ssh, don't cry, o.k., I just wanted to take a closer look at you. Come here… My son”..

Nick could hear his wife snoring softly. She was still very exhausted from the birth, which had dragged on for almost a whole day. “So we haven't thought of a name yet, have we? I have a cousin, Alfonso, but we're no longer in contact. I would like that, Alfonso…Alfi, hnhn”. As he looked at his son, a few tears welled up in his eyes. Yes, as Cy once said, a little one like that changes something in you. “We'll find a solution, Alfi… Somehow”.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this part

@greenplumbboblover😊

poses by @poses-by-bee & @inkwisteria

[blackjackkent]

This is stupid, I think, maybe, but it helped me get my thoughts to be quiet a bit. Read at your own risk of the Cringe, I guess. (Cringe is fake except when it's me. :P )

Jaheira looks at me across the fire inside my mind. "You should rest, cub," she says. "There will be work to do, but none of it will be done tonight."

"I keep thinking of the future," I say. "I don't know what it will look like, or what I will do."

"You have heard what I said to Hector. That there was no point snotting into my sleeve when there is work to be done. So I will not allow it for you either."

I chuckle. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you aren't exactly known for healthy management of your emotions."

She quirks an eyebrow. "And you are?"

She has me there. I say nothing. After a while she laughs softly. "We do our best with the tools we have. You have many at your disposal - a fine mind, and the wit to use it to build things of light and pure information, in ways I can barely comprehend. You have a supply of gold and the desire to bring it to those in need of it. You can be of help to others, but not if you have lost yourself to despair."

"I'm not brave. I could not be like you, with my blade out, battling back the dark. Sometimes I can barely leave the house."

She is silent for a moment, considering me appraisingly. "You like Entharl, do you not? Perhaps you may see yourself in him - an accessory to the work, if not its instigator. There are many parts to the Harpers - those who carry our messages, those who shelter and heal our injured, those who forge our weapons and armor. We are not all the heroes of song. You will find a place where you can be useful."

"I hope so. I'm so afraid. I've been happy, more or less, these last few months - doing nothing but telling stories and starting to make my home mine."

"And you think there is no place for that now?"

"It feels... small. Pointless. Things are about to change."

"Things are always changing. And there will always be call for stories, for songs. For art that heals and art that opens an escape." She snorts. "It is why our friend Volo remains eternally in the spotlight. As for your home..." She squints narrowly at me. "I suppose you feel that were you to live in a hovel it would heal the world's woes?"

I shrug. "Maybe not."

"I understand you, of course. Self-flagellation is an easy path." Her lips twitch. "And easier to call it out in others than oneself, too. Do not fear - I am well aware of the irony." A slight pause. "If it hurts nothing and heals your heart, it is not a waste, I think."

"Maybe." I stare at the fire a long time before speaking again. "I'm afraid of myself, too, you know. I have my own... Dark Urge, in a way. Not to kill, but to think. To think, and think, and think - over and over and over until it drives me mad. Petrifies me like Minsc was. A beast inside my brain, just as Rakha has."

"Then I will do as I have done for Rakha. I will watch over you. When the beast rises, I will strike it back - those times when you are not strong enough to do it for yourself."

I smile sadly. "I appreciate the offer. But you know as well as I do that you're not real. This is all fantasy."

"I am as real as whatever tears inside your mind," she says. "I am real enough to make you feel you are not alone." A pause. "One day perhaps you will find someone who will give you comfort on the dark nights. It is less impossible than you think. But for now you have me, and you have yourself. And you must rest, cub, so I will keep watch. And in the morning you will keep breathing."

[rpreaperperson]

Bonus: First Interrogation and Hassan thought

Warn: None, just a lil snip of Claw past

Masterlist

The first he heard of the Hybrid is from the Russian informant, There is a Lab facility that holds them somewhere then the creature is sent to be a war tool.

Another poor soul who just entangled in that American war mess

Then he saw it...more like..her seemingly young girl with a wide blue eyes

‘They dare! Send a girl, a young girl into a war?!’ He frowns at the thought, as the task force and shadow catch him they went into the dessert where no one could find him ,perfect place to interrogate him.

One of them escorted him out of the jeep and forced him into his knee

The Hybrid hopped out of the jeep following her Master, when they removed the sack from his head, his gaze turned to the Hybrid instead

“Hello there!” she waved innocently then the Mohawk man beside her raised his eyebrow and nudge her arm as she mouthed ‘what’ to him and he just shook his head, Hasan just nodded at her pursing his mouth downwards

‘How petty of them sending a girl into a war!’ Not to mention the hybrid existence is deeply rare WHY in the name of God would they give her in the military?!

“you speak arabic?” ask Hassan to Graves, Just about Graves opens his mouth Claw raises her arm like a student who wants to answer the question from her teacher

“I do!~ although just a little”

 “This why I dont want her get off from the jeep” skull masked man sigh tiredly

“LT c’mon..” Soap tried to reason with him

“She not fitted for interigation”

“its her first time LT..”

“Hrghhh...”Ghost groans, while Claw just stares at them confused, then Graves takes his laptop

“Now first rule of interrogation ,Claw!” Graves walked over to the van with laptop on his hand he pointed a finger up

“Be mean and dont polite at them”

“O-okay..”

“Number two! Don't be intimidated by ‘em we’re the ones who Interrogation them, not the way around”

“Yes Master!”

While Graves gives a lecture to Claw, the others just patiently wait until the lecturer is done including Hassan who observes Claw her fluffy ears and her long black fluffy tails, wondering how she maintains them so well when she works in a dirt and dust like this

Done with the lecture Graves opens his laptop connecting to Laswell and Shepherd, Claw muttering every word that Graves taught her

“be mean..don polite and dont be intimidate by them” her tails swishing, then she heard Laswell voice from the laptop

“Miss Laswell!” she beamed as her ears perked up, Soap automatically pat her head

“Stay and behave” He mumbles his face unusually stoic

“Y-yes Master” she obey him, and listen to the bickering from Graves and Hassan

“I’m a hostage here. This is illegal”

“You are a prisoner of war.”

“Iran is not at war with Mexico. I’ve broken no laws. These men and their commanders are the law-breakers.” Hassan then gazes at Claw full of sympathy

“You even brought a young girl to be your war tool..” then he stare at the men with full of disgust and disdain, Claw freeze at his words

“Shame to all of you...”

Claw look down avoiding everyone eyes, fidgeting her nails

The word that out from Hassan mouth reminds her when she still at the lab

“You and your beloved General Ghorbani broke every –“ Soap speak but got cut off

“DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME! You executed him and you will pay for your crimes…” Claw flinch at Hassan outbrust

 ‘Ghor..bani...? seems like I’ve hears that name...but where..’ Claw tried to remember that she couldnt hear Shepherd calling out her from the laptop

“Claw!”Ghost snaped

“Hu? A..Y-yes Master?!”

“Sheperd wants your suggestion..”

 “What about..?”

He point to Hassan

‘Wait? Why is Sir Sheperd ask me about this?!’

 the stare from the other making her go all nervous thinking that she may do something bad, the Hassan snort

“you all cornering her, its making her uncomfortable” hearing that they all averted their eyes

“W-well..I think it is a risk if we took him now even killing him eheh...but if we have any proof then...” Claw gesturing her hand into a fist and bump it

“he go to jail..maybe?”

“Unfortunally we got no proof of it, killing Hassan is an act of war, keeping him is illegal. Right now like Claw says, he is too hot to hold” Laswell piped explain it to Shepherd

“So without proof, we need to turn him loose. See where he leads us...” Shepherd sighed leaning on his chair as Hassan chuckled knowing that they had no other choice but to let him go, Soap argued approaching the laptop

“He’s right here. You can’t be serious”

“Im afraid I am, son..” Shepherd frown clearly frustated about the condition, Claw pursing her lips

“What about his phone, did we get anything at least?” Claw point at Hassan phone in Ghost hands

“Affirmative. We got a hit” Laswell stated

“Good.Now, take him back and let him go” command Shepherd

“And Claw...”

“Yes sir?”

“..Keep up the good job”

Claw beamed and salute him through the laptop

“Y-Yes Sir!”

The others stare at her amused, Ghost huff shaking his head as Alejandro puts the sack back on Hassan's head he slips the phone back into Hassan's pocket when they pass him

Claw's mood became insanely grew the words that Hassan told completely forgotten her tails swishing in delight

‘Eheheh...I get praised by Sir Shepherd~’ she cupping her cheeks with both of her hands

“C’mon Bonnie..” Soap slung his burly arm around her shoulder, As both of them got into the van the same Hassan was, the next words coming from his mouth made Claw freeze

“You’re free..you’re never a tool” although the others don’t know what it means because he said it in Arabic and thought that it was another threat, but Claw knows…

She gaping at him

The words that the same when she was in Lab, someone motive her when she at her low.

‘Professor..’

Ghost silently observe her, narrowing his gaze at Hassan

'As I thought she shouldn't come out from the van'

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2023 Anime Overview: Pluto and Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

Pluto

Premise: Somebody- or something- is killing the most advanced robots in the world, along with humans involved with robots (either robot rights activists or scientists). Gesicht, a robot police detective, is trying to track this killer down. But has the detective himself been compromised? What is going on with these strange memories that keep appearing in his head?

Based on an arc in Osamu Tezuka's Astro Boy, this anime is a tense, tightly plotted robot murder mystery that kept me engrossed and invested. Stuff that deals with "android" rights can often feel cringey at best and insulting at worst, but Pluto avoids this by having a future where robots have already gotten their civil rights. It instead largely uses robots as a metaphor for being seen as a disposable tool in a corrupt system, for how if you resist being a weapon for violence and imperialism, those in power will either discard you or fear you. And it asks the question--can robots feel human emotions like hatred? What happens when they do?

Speaking of imperialism, there are some very obvious allusions to the Iraq War in this and I mean obvious like the "United States of Thracia" stars a war with the "Kingdom of Persia" under the pretense of finding "robots of mass destruction". The anime is deeply sympathetic to the, uh, Kingdom of Persia (and very accurate about how much the United States of "Thracia's" government sucks and is imperialistic), but it does feature content that can be tough to deal with (especially right now), and does have some Middle Eastern antagonists, though they're not one-dimensional . I don't feel qualified to dig into it too deeply, but I just have to note it. 

Pluto is impressive with it's sizable cast that all have their own distinct stories. It makes you feel for almost every character. A lot of the plot twists punch you in the gut, and the animation is generally stunning. I

I did find parts of the final episode fell flat. It was a solid finale, but the world-ending stakes and the focus on pretty predictable action beats were so different than the gripping, investigative stuff that came before it that it was a bit of a let down. And it really beat you over the head by constantly verbally repeating the central message.

 (I also hate the trope of a male character lying to a female character about information she's begging for and affects her deeply, and it being treated as a great kindness. I wish female characters got more to do overall in this, because the two we had were potentially very interesting. It did give a nod to the female robots being just as advanced at the male ones but that being ignored because they weren't advanced in a traditionally masculine way. But you could feel it's Astro Boy roots in how male dominated the cast was.)

Overall, this is one of the most well-crafted anime of the last few years-- a psychological thriller and meditation on humanity and conflict, rich with story and themes, with not a second wasted. I definitely recommend giving it a shot, you'll probably be hooked in no time. And expect it to break your heart. A lot.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

Yes, this counts as an anime. It was animated by a Japanese studio, the director is based in Japan and has worked in anime for years. But there are some spoilers in the premise itself here, so I'm going to put it under the cut.

You have been warned!

Premise: Scott Pilgrim meets a cool girl named Ramona Flowers and falls for her, only to find out she has seven evil exes he must defeat. Unfortunately, he seemingly dies at the hands of the first one. This leads Ramona on a journey where she must confront her evil exes and see if Scott is really dead after all.

So, I was a fan of Scott Pilgrim as a teen. Moreso of the comic than the movie, since the movie didn't have the interesting arcs for the female characters the comic did thanks to it's short runtime and what it prioritized. (Ramona, especially, was done dirty). I liked Ramona a lot in the comic, especially how she went from a mysterious figure to someone just as messy and screwed up as Scott is, and the "final boss" was actually the abusive relationship she was stuck in, and she was the one who really had to defeat it. I liked how Knives outgrew Scott, and I liked how Kim exposed Scott's fantasies as not real, and let her crush on him go. I liked how Scott's arc was realizing he'd treated the women in his life badly and that he needed to grow up and stop being so selfish. 

So I was a little excited to see a more comic-accurate version... but what we got was even better. A story that was more from Ramona's perspective, that centered her from the very beginning, and which focused on her understanding, and often reconciling with her exes, rather than them being enemies to defeat. I especially loved seeing Roxie finally get her due. (The comic handled Roxie better than the movie's bullshit, but it still left a lot to be desired). Ramona's ex-girlfriend finally gets treated as an ex-girlfriend, with no "just a phase" bs from Ramona and no Scott doing the straight guy "ooh lesbians so sexy" bs. Instead, it's a sincere, emotional look at their relationship and the ways Ramona hurt Roxie, along with a killer fight scene. 

It was also great to see Knives thriving without Scott around, and Matthew Patel getting more of a spotlight. The series has grown up over the years ,but the themes are as sharp as ever. It examines the bad decisions Ramona and Scott have made, and not only the fear of growing up as a young adult, but the fear of what you'll grow into. It explores the fear that relationships will become regrets, the messiness of people trying to connect, and how you need to keep trying to communicate and move forward and take risks anyway.

There were a few things I wish we could have seen more of- like Kim and Envy. (And small yet bothersome nitpick, I also disliked how when Ramona talked about her pattern of "running away" from relationships, Gideon was included, despite the fact he was abusive to her in this version too). The English voice cast was also weak with the voice acting sometimes (likely because most of them were more used to being on-screen actors)- though there were some stand out performances like Satya Bahba (Matthew Patel), Michael Cera (Scott) and of course Mae Whitman (Roxy) (I also think Winstead settled into her role well too)-- though I got used to it after a while, and the Japanese cast is aces.

The animation was also phenomenal, and it had a killer soundtrack.

I'm not sure how this anime would hit if you haven't seen either the comic or the movie, (I've heard some newbies say they liked it) but as a fan of the source material, I was very pleased and found it a treat. Definitely worth checking out.

[yourturntofnaf]

Emiri Harai character discussion!

This post is split into two parts, canon and non-canon discussion. The first half is a summary of all we know about her and the second discusses fandom theories, my thoughts on these theories, and my theories/predictions. Basically, this is one huuuuge infodump.

Before we begin, here is your spoiler warning for literally the whole game. Also, trigger warnings for the mentions of death and suicide as present in the game.

A final note to make it clear who I'm talking about: The names Emiri and Miley will be used interchangeably throughout this, same for Safalin and Michiru. Miley is also referred to as Hoemi in one quote.

If you don't want to read the full summary and just want to skip to part two, here's a board with the basic information needed on Emiri as of 3-1b:

If you are skipping ahead, the second parts beginning is highlighted in red to make it easy to find!

Let us begin...

Out of the two recruitment files we get in 3-1b, we get far more information on Emiri. The essential information we get is that, like Michiru, she is being treated poorly in her current work environment. Despite this, she has no plans of leaving her work thanks to the presence of a co-worker she has plans of marrying. The file states the organization is willing to drive her love interest mad in order the recruit her.

At some point in joining Asunaro, she takes on the name Sue Miley as we know her, the laughing doll. We don't know anything about her work in the organization between getting recruited and the actual death game. Unlike Gashu and Hiyori, we don't have a direct answer as to what her general research topic is.

Her workspace has a mix of items: a doll of herself used at the games beginning, multiple monitors, a computer playing Hayasaka's victim video, a drawer containing the security tape, a desk with materials and tools that seem similar to what would be used for the collars, and most importantly, an obscured lab room with a person on a hospital bed. The bed could suggest Miley has some medical knowledge and the desk may suggest some sort of mechanical work, but nothing confirmed.

In the game, Miley is generally less involved than other floormasters. For the first half of chapter one, the participants are tasked with placing her doll body back together. Upon doing so, the real Miley steps in (although the participants are under the impression she is a doll), and leads them through the test trial. In this trial, Professor Mishima dies due to the participants not understanding what the vote meant. At this point, she begins to taunt the participants, mostly Kanna over her intense reaction to Mishima's death. She calls her a sister killer, sparking Kai to hit her with his frying pan causing her to bleed. This becomes useful in the future for discovering that she is not a doll.

In the main game, she performs the execution devices, however is not able to do so as Qtaro stops her so Kai can kill himself instead.

Although her floor master role ends as the participants move to floor three, she still is present in the game.

Leading up to the main game, Miley appears in Sara's bedroom in the night to give her the participant survival percentage papers. We never get the reasoning as to why she did this, but it ends up being majorly beneficial to us in discovering the difference between a participant and a candidate (which helps us find Gashu's transgression) and solving Shin's true identity.

During 2-2 when Sara and Keiji return to the first floor to search for Gin, we make two important discoveries about Miley.

First, in her office, we get sight of a person on a hospital bed hidden behind glass in a locked room. We see they are receiving medical support of some sort but cannot make out anything else about them. We also find and may play the floor one security tape that we find in the drawer.

Next, they overhear Miley speaking to an unknown person who we can assume to be a member of Asunaro. In this conversation, she mentions three important things: the fact that Gashu is interfering with the game, the importance of a security chip placed in Rio Ranger's head, and a way to access surveillance mode in the floor three monitor room. The person she is speaking to is surprised she knows how to turn on the surveillance mode.

Right before main game two, Miley stops Gashu's explanation to scold him for interfering with the death game. This gives the participants a huge lead in figuring out what he has done.

As of 3-1b, Miley has not had any showing in the chapter beyond Hiyori saying she told him Sara is cute when she's angry, along with being the chapter that Hayasaka accesses her recruitment file to show Sara.

So, that ends our explanation of Emiri in the game. I intentionally limited that part to explaining only what we have directly seen and left out personal interpretation, as that is what the next part is for.

Let's begin discussing fandom theories on Emiri.

Most theorizing around her revolves are who her fiance may be, and the most common theory I see is that it may be Hayasaka. The biggest reason would be that it may further explain his confirmed ties with Asunaro. In support of this theory, I would mention that Hayasaka's art book page mentions that he received his glasses from a former female associate and that specifically Hayasaka's video is playing in her office. Overall, however, I personally have no strong feelings toward this theory. I would say that it *possibly* works timeline-wise. If we are saying Hayasaka was "driven mad", it would have to be outside of the 3 years used to update the doll's personality. If we make an assumption that Michiru and Emiri were recruited for Ranger's creation, this would loosely line up with the 3-year mark as we know that's Ranger's creation age. If I was really trying to argue for this assumption, I would pull this deleted scene:

I love prodigies. / Natural-born talent. A point the common person can never approach. The most radiant of anomalies. / Our organization obtained three prodigies. / Lin, who births "positive emotions." Satou, who births "negative emotions." / And of course, none other than myself. / Those two researchers coming to me was simply inevitable. It's what we call fate. / All the pieces necessary to create the ultimate artificial intelligence have assembled. / Now, let's make a human.

If attempting to back the assumption that's what they had been recruited for, I would argue this scene was to describe Emiri (who would have to be the speaker in this), Michiru, and Gashu coming together for the first time to build Ranger. You could argue both of them were brought in under Gashu's requirements because he wanted to build Ranger.

Do I think this is a stretch? 100%, I don't think it proves much at all. This was scrapped for a reason, the way it describes Gashu doesn't fully fit with his canon role in the organization and we have no proof or reason to strongly believe, that Emiri was involved in creating Ranger. We also have no reason to believe Emiri is the speaker. I don't think any of this is strong evidence as I don't particularly believe it one way or another, but I wanted to throw some stuff out there for it anyways.

Next, the one everyone knows is the theory Gin is Emiri's child. The reasons I've seen include Gin's dad being an alcoholic might line up with Emiri's fiancé being driven mad, and Hiyori mentions that Gin's mom is still watching over him. Also... get this, they both have brown hair. Personally, this theory doesn't do it for me. I understand why people like it, and the Hiyori line is interesting. I can't think of any direct argument for or against this, other than it would be a little weird if the recruitment files just left out that Emiri had a whole kid. (Note: if anyone reading this has an argument for this theory I didn't mention, please comment! Same for the last one, let me know why you think it if I missed anything, which I'm sure I did).

With that explained, I'm going to start explaining my theories and ideas. First, I want to give my thoughts on the mysteries related to her that I put on the board. None of these are full theories nor do they have reasoning, it's just thoughts that have come up.

Person in her office: With zero evidence or strong belief either answer is true, maybe it's Hayasaka or Mishima. Hayasaka comes to mind because that's whose victim video is conveniently playing right in front of the glass where we see said person. If this is the case, maybe he is her fiancée. As for Mishima, maybe it could work into the missing head question if she's attaching him to a doll or something. If one of my predictions is right, I'm leaning far more towards Hayasaka.

Who she was talking to: No clue really. We can rule out Gashu and Ranger, and I would argue against it being Safalin just because they should have been able to recognize her voice. The speech pattern and general motivations do not line up with Hiyori. I also don't have much reason to believe it's Meister. I do want to point out this person is supposed to know more than Miley at least about floor three, as they are surprised she knows how the monitors work. Their personality is more cautious than Emiri's as they warn her not to speak too loudly in case someone is listening. The first part of their conversation sounds like Emiri believes they let them get away: Miley asks if they let them escape, the other person says "I apologize... The key that was here is..." and Miley responds with, "Gone? Sigh... Seriously, give it up." Really, it does sound like it could be Safalin. I just can't get past them not recognizing her voice and can't place a reason as to why we couldn't just know it was her from the beginning gameplay-wise.

Who her fiancé is: I don't know if this will end up being relevant and I think it's possible this was mentioned to serve as a future motivation for Miley. If it is someone important, Hayasaka is a fair guess.

Mishima's head: If anything, I think she has his collar or something like that. I'm more on the side of Kai bringing his head up to floor three for some reason or another. Perhaps it's possible Miley was on this floor searching for it, explaining why she knows how the monitors work, and maybe was done at the same time she gave Sara the papers.

I would like to throw a guess as to what Emiri's purpose in Asunaro is. I think she may create the actual dolls. For one, her whole introduction is literally us building a doll. If she is involved in the physical creation of the dolls, that could explain why she knows about Ranger's chip. Her being involved in Ranger's physical creation could explain her recruitment. If she was involved in his creation only to a physical extent, it would make sense why Safalin does not mention her when telling Rio about himself during the Liazer scene. There would be no reason for her to use her limited time to explain his physical being that has nothing to do with the real reason she revived him, to explain why his emotional state is what it is.

Now, here's my theory. I believe that if one of the floormasters turns on Asunaro, it's going to be Miley. I believe this for two reasons; a line that I believe hints at it and the fact she has motivation.

Starting with dialog hints, there's this piece of dialog I've always found interesting when Keiji suggests that someone from Asunaro is working against them from the inside out.

Sara

"One of the kidnappers... is our ally...?!

I have no proof that could fully deny it... but...!!"

Keiji

"Looks like you can't wrap your head around it."

Sara

"There are clearly some illogical aspects, so..."

Keiji

"Well, all that's just my hope, anyhow. / Could be interesting if Miley was related to this, though. Wahaha..."

To me, this line feels like foreshadowing. If not intentional, it doesn't make sense for Keiji to mention Miley here. Sure it could just be a joke, but I can't see what makes it funny enough to put in without further reasoning.

I know deleted scenes don't count as strong evidence, but I would like to mention this line from the deleted scene between Ranger and Shin:

Ranger

"...Anyway, Hoemi was too indulgent, letting you have such a dangerous item as an extra service... / Looking as if she's on the same side as you guys... Ahaha."

Once again, this dialog points towards Miley ultimately working with us.

As for motivation, Miley just has more reasons to turn on the organization than anyone else. Her file is so specific about tricking her, pulling her away from her life just as things were looking perfect. Michiru's file provides nothing of interest to her previous life that can serve as a big motivation for her to turn. Also, in terms of storytelling, Safalin does feel a bit too obvious to be fully with us and it just works as a better twist to be Miley in my opinion. I would also mention that Safalin has already helped us in many ways, we know most of what she's done. She doesn't seem to have many secrets or mysteries that we need to figure out. If we need a floormaster that will turn, which I don't think is unlikely, Miley has more reason to do so and could give us more answers than Safalin could at this point.

That's about all I have to say! This was my first time doing a post like this so let me know what you think, any questions, or if I got something wrong. If you have any requests, let me know and I can try and do the same for another character. I already have one in the works for Michiru :)

[grokebaby]

Siru tries to gather more about Pesticinger without it knowing. Things she'd rather hear from other perspectives - other opinions. Other details..

An elderly field guard shakes her head at Siru. "You shan't be asking about things like these, fledgling", the old grouse craws. "Knowledge helps ward off danger that ignorance attracts.." responds Siru, and gets somewhere. The old grouse insists that the common courtesy is to stay silent in the presence of this plague. To not address it, nor respond to it. Silent treatment altogether, and preferably, stay far away. This is how field guards typically operate with plagues - don't entertain, don't engage. Siru nods. Someone who avoids Pesticinger like the- well.. You know.. Can't know too much about her. Siru moves on.

A lowly scavenger, a crow villager with the voice of a gull, takes her up on her questions much better. It's best to ask people who Siru couldn't be traced back with - so frequents and familiar faces are out of the question. The gull voiced rogue posits that a screaming match is the most efficient way to deal with Pesticinger. Make it loud loud loud, and it can't steal your voice. Do not stop talking. That would let it steal. Very opposite advice to the previous one, Siru thinks, and stops to wonder which source is the more reliable one. The scavenger asks for goods in exchange for more information, and Siru has nothing more than fox bread to offer. It earns her one last tip: Never volunteer any new or useful words to the plague. Repeat back nonsense only.

Siru's search grows wider.

She spots a giant grasshopper in the far fields, leading to Maggots den. It plays it's violin - a scratchy, wandering tune. And it sings of humans. A musician must be more knowledgeable about someone like the white winged bird. Siru seats by a rock near the grasshopper, offering herself as audience. She begins to listen of a singing tale that speaks of insect hordes - Something the composer itself has little interest in participating. It tells tales of Pesticinger offering grubs of all kinds a residence inside the ear canals of humans. They would feed there, until they're full enough to cocoon, and the humans drive themselves mad trying to claw the grubs out. Mad, and notably deaf. The grasshopper sings a tale of Pesticinger, with her grandiose Orchestra of songbirds, keeping entire human towns awake, night in and night out, with their ceaseless singing. They've become more hesitant of this practice upon discovering the humans have their own noisy tools to counter: they call these guns.

Siru wants to ask of Pesticinger more after the show, but the huffy grasshopper asks for a tip in exchange for it's music. Siru, unsure what else to give, teaches the grasshopper a rhyme, staying shut about who she first learned it from (You might already guess).

She heads home, late.

Passing the far ends of the village, she is startled by the sudden passing of white wings above her head, but not to worry. It is the local stork, an assistant of one of the plagues, and true to myth, carrying a bundle in its beak. Siru levels her breathing, and asks has the stork seen any other big white birds around lately. The stork recounts Pesticinger serenading it this past spring - complimenting it's delivery work. The stork, earnest, offered to work for Pesticinger as well, though she seemed less enthused by this. The stork, confused, wonders outloud why she would request it's company, if not for chicks. Siru is a little taken aback to learn something like this about Pesticinger, but figures whatever bird play it might have is probably none of her business. Siru respectfully bows out of the conversation, especially seeing as the small bundle the stork carries, starts chirping.

Siru only feels slightly more informed by the end of the day.

[avpdvoidspace]

hi i'm the anon who sent that very long ask a couple days ago. and i really appreciated your response ty!! i actually brought up AvPD with my therapist today and it went better than i'd hoped. i think talking about it really helped, and she said it made sense and helped her to understand me as well. so thank you again!! :) i would've never even heard of AvPD if i hadn't seen your blog. (sorry i hope this doesn't come off as bragging lol i'm just genuinely happy)

and i have a question if you don't mind. of course i'm assuming getting a diagnosis takes more than 1 session (it's been almost 10 years since i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, i honestly have no idea), but she had brought it up in a hypothetical sense of "what would you do then?" so i was wondering if you had any thoughts / opinions / advice / etc? personally i'm not sure if i'd want an official diagnosis, since i just don't know much about the process or what effects it'd have on my life. i've heard that (generally speaking) getting a diagnosis can help with asking for accomodations in work and school, but also that it can lead to discrimination, like from mental health workers and other people as well. i dunno though!!! i've never been diagnosed with a personality disorder.

anyway, thank you, i hope you have a great day :) or night, or whatever lol

I'm really happy to hear you had a good experience with talking to your therapist. I'm hoping this will become more and more common as those of us with avpd do more to advocate for ourselves and talk about our experiences openly. My perspective of having gotten a diagnosis more than 15 years ago is that having a diagnosis gives me more perspective and therefore control when it comes to the thought patterns I tend to have, so I have more of an informed choice of how to respond to them. It also helps me navigate relationships and question myself when I'm thinking the other person must hate me and I can't possibly let them see the real me. Also, it helps me fight my tendency to deprive myself of things like food and rest.

Granted, that knoweldge doesn't cure me, but it gives me the tools to confront thoughts. So a lot of the benefit has been personal, but in the past few years as avpd gets more awareness, it helps me connect (at a distance lol) with other people online and talk about support needs. Unfortunately there really is still stigma and there isn't a lot of understanding and information even when people do want to support and accomodate us. It's kind of up to us to figure out what accomodations would help us in work and school situations. Sorry it took so long to get to this ask!

[chaos-love-au]

Love, Pain, Determination.

[Part 3 of Chaos L-ove]

Click here to read on AO3

Warnings: Super Paper Mario spoilers.

Summary: After failing to bring Mr. L out of the Underwhere, Dimentio lays hurt in his bed. But love can give you endless determination.

“Hey, Count? Dimentio's hurt. I don't think he can fight.” Nastasia informed Count Bleck.

He seemed confused, “the prophecy doesn't speak of anything like that… he should be fine, he should.. hm…” he flipped through the pages of Dark Prognosticus, unsure of what to do.

“I just thought I should let you know. He's recovering in his room, k?” She fixed her glasses.

The Count didn't respond, he kept staring at the pages.

Nastasia sighed quietly and left.

---

When Nastasia arrived outside of Dimentio’s door, Mimi was just leaving. She was crying.

“Are you okay?” Nastasia asked.

“Mr. L is gone! Dimentio said his game ended!!” Mimi sobbed in return.

“Oh. That's alright, he wasn't that important anyw-”

“WASN'T IMPORTANT?! HE WAS MY FRIEND!! WHO CARES IF HE DIDN'T MATTER TO THE PROPHECY! HE WAS NICE! And..” Mimi wiped away her tears, “and I finally felt like I had family again…”

Nastasia took a step back. “Sorry, Mimi, I didn't know you felt this way.”

“it's fine…” she left, walking very slowly down the hall and into her room.

Nastasia turned to Dimentio's door and opened it.

“Hey, Dimentio. Are you feeling better?” She asked as she closed the door behind her.

“Yes.”

“Is that the truth?”

Dimentio sighed.

“I'm gonna take that as a no. The Count said that you being hurt defies the prophecy. What caused this?”

Dimentio couldn't tell her the truth, if she knew he was a banished Shayde who has yet to fully transform, she'd probably throw him back to the Underwhere for good. “The heros.”

“If you'll keep lying, we aren't gonna get very far.”

“fine… yes, that was a lie. But I'm not allowed to tell you the real reason.”

“And why is that?”

“Queen Jaydes.”

Nastasia tilted her head, “Queen Jaydes of the Underwhere?”

Dimentio nodded.

“I'm confused..”

“I am not allowed to explain it, Nastasia, it doesn't matter. I would like to be left alone..”

“K… the heros should arrive soon, you need to recover.” She said before walking out the door.

Dimentio groaned. He didn't need to be reminded of that. He hated being useless to his own plans.

“Dimentio.” Count Bleck teleported into the room.

“My Count! Wh-what are you doing here?” Dimentio's back straightened.

“How did you defy the prophecy? This was not the heros’ doing, who did this? This could be a worse danger than the Light Prognosticus.”

Dimentio knew Count Bleck wouldn't let him off without a proper response. He had no choice, he needed to attack his weak spot.

“A human. She attacked me, calling me a name I didn't recognize, naming me a traitor.”

“You are not making any sense.”

“I believe her name was Timpani.. it's hard t-”

“...T-Timpani..?” Count Bleck stuttered, “N-no.. she…”

“Is that name familiar to you, my Count?”

“...”

“Count Bleck? Are you alright?” Dimentio smirked under his frowning mask. This conversation was going better than expected.

“That name is not familiar to me. You must find that human, bring her to Nastasia. She is strong, she could be a valuable tool.”

“I don't think we have time..”

“Then find the time!” Count Bleck snarled.

Dimentio was taken aback, maybe this didn't work as well as he thought. “As you wish, Count Bleck.”

“Dimentio… what name did she refer to you with?”

Dimentio tried his best to not grin too wide, he was glad his mask was covering his face, “Blumiere.”

Bleck's Orange eyes flickered to blue for a moment, “...and… no…”

“Is *that* name familiar to you?”

“Yes, it is my own..”

Dimentio raised his eyebrow, not expecting the Count to admit that so easily.

“I must go now. Dimentio, be sure to find her.” Count Bleck teleported away.

Dimentio couldn't help but laugh, “oh! He destroys me! Hah- urgh.” His pain stopped him once again. He wished to be alive again, And not slowly decay.

The magic in the Underwhere and Overthere sped up the transformation, and due to him being a sinner, it was a painful process. He knew this, and still decided to reach Queen Jaydes in an attempt to bring back Mr. L.

“you don't have to do this” Mr. L’s words echoed in Dimentio's mind, followed by his screams of agony.

He couldn't take it anymore, the pain, physical and emotional, it was too much.

He got up, leaning on the wall for stability. “I will get him back… and then I will erase every universe in this awful existence..” he took a step, and then another, and another.

Slowly and painfully, he reached his drawers. He took out a small glass bottle with a red-pink-ish liquid in it. He drank the whole thing in one sip.

“Much better.” His feet disconnected from the floor, floating just slightly above the ground.

He left the room. His mind was set on the Land of the Cragnons, he hoped King Croacus would let him have more Floro Sprouts. He already used one before, to turn O'Chunks into O’Cabbage. But now he would need it to control Luigi and possibly Mario.

Since he was still too weak to teleport, he spent the whole way fixing his plan, and polishing it, making sure nothing will go wrong. “Yes, yes… it's perfect..” he whispered to himself as he finished a sketch of what he called ‘The Ultimate Brobot’, a mix of Mr. L’s Brobot and him.

He placed his notepad in his inner pocket and knocked on King Croacus’ door, waiting to be let in. He had to be successful, if he lost this… if he would fail, he would lose Mr. L… this wasn't about the chaos heart or the prophecy anymore.

[cochidinh]

out of curiosity, any opinions/headcanons about martina x yomi x zilch? the jp fandom on twitter really made me love them as an evil polycule (and i still love that one picture you drew of them haha)

I.love.love.love.love.love.it.so.much. I can die for their evil polycule.

If I had to express my opinions on them, I think their relationship is like putting knives, gems, flowers, books, and ink into a washing machine and pressing the button. Scare anyone who witnesses it because everyone knows the future won't be a good thing. They make themselves worse and everything explodes.

Just based on the game, I feel quite sad that they don't have direct interaction but I also understand because hitman Zil's work must be secret. Oh and also because Yomi is an asshole who wouldn't mention his lover's name if they were dead </3

Zil and Martina truly love Yomi. Zil loves Yomi because he can accept his destructive nature and Martina loves Yomi because he shows her love and makes her feel special. Both of them are pathetically falling deep in love.

Yomi wouldn't love someone else because he only sees love as a tool to control, but I like toxic relationships so this isn't a problem to stop me from headcanon the scene of them living together hahahahaha

Headcanon: Zil and Martina will compete to see who understands the director better and shake hands after every meeting about Yomi (which they organize themselves to exchange information and pictures).

Since Zil is an advisor, he requires a great deal of detailed information about Yomi to provide advice, and Martina is familiar with Yomi's schedule, habits, and diet -> she is an excellent choice to speak with. As for Martina, she is a photo collector, but with her heavy workload she cannot bring a camera and take photos of Yomi publicly, so her photos all come from Zil.

They give off such a mature atmosphere that I don't think they will be jealous of each other.

Another headcanon (slightly nsfw):

Zil and Martina like to bite Yomi. I like that Yomi's strength is much weaker than both of his lovers, so he can't hurt them very much. At the same time, since Yomi really hates pain (well, he likes to torture people, but when there is a possibility of being beaten, he runs away), so they usually end up leaving only a few bite marks.

Although Yomi likes to show off his love in public, he doesn't have much sexual desire, nor does he like kissing others. His love language is compliments and loving looks at him. (I noticed that he likes to stand behind Martina or stand with his back to her when saying love, plus both Zil and Martina wear glasses, so I headcanon he pays attention to other people's eyes)

Martina's love language is physical touch, hug, touch, and bite, including sitting on her (<- she does love it). She feels happy when he shows her love, even when she is beaten she sees it as a form of love.

Zil's love language is the smell of blood. He lives by pretending to be someone else, he doesn't have anything too specific besides desire for destruction. Killing for Yomi and having sex with Yomi are his barest and most natural behaviors of love; They all involve blood since they are all violent activities.

My platonic-loving self made it impossible for my romantic-loving self to compare who would have more sexual desire so I was like "Yomi is the type that accidentally turns the other two on", problem solved. End.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay this ended up being a little bit of a rant, I apologize

Most of the rewrite that my best friend and I are working on is just character devlopment tbh!! Like I think what totk tried to do was make their story both character driven and plot driven, they just failed miserably at both. Like imagine if Zelda and Mineru were parallels!! We have an entire plotline written involving making Rauru a secondary antagonist with that! And if Zelda and Sonia were foils instead of half assed parallels! Like yes, Zelda's a terrible character as is, but she has SO much potential because of her position, both politically speaking and emotionally speaking. It's like you said, it's really stupid that she's just in charge of all of Hyrule again. Why not like. Do something else with her?? Anything else??? And did we just. Forget about her father's abuse in botw? Because she shows exactly NOTHING as a result of that. This is an entirely different Zelda who happens to look the same. For all we care, the real Zelda in game could be the imposter and it wouldn't change a thing!!

Oh yeah, the characters in the game definitely needed more attention from the writing. Or like... literally any amount of attention.

For the record this might just be a case of me doing some sequence breaking and getting through things too early (via setting off the fifth sage plot AFTER finding all the memories and retrieving the master sword), but I truly, genuinely do not understand why Mineru exists. I can't tell what she adds to the narrative. Maybe she was supposed to tell me that Zelda's a dragon go rip a sword out of her head, just in case I hadn't figured that out? But it's kinda weird to have that failsafe, considering that the game is quick to spell it out for you that you should find the geoglyphs to learn what happened to Zelda, and we KNOW she was the last one to have the Master Sword. So Mineru is just a redundant reminder of something the player's probably already done, because yknow going to hyrule castle after four temples feels like a finale, so you'd obviously want to handle unfinished business first.

I mean, I guess the spirit temple boss fight was okay, if only because I found the robot fistfight to be so ridiculous that it was absolutely delightful (though the actual fight mechanics were tedious and annoying). But she didn't tell me anything new, I already knew that Zelda had vored a rock to become her fursona. Sharing that information was apparently the only thing Mineru was there to do, but the game had already spelled that out for me ages ago. She didn't contribute anything. I don't even know if she was supposed to contribute anything. Mineru was just there to force us to sit through the same fucking story about Ganon's sealing for the fifth goddamn time in a row. And then despite being literally the only person left from the actual war, she had literally nothing to contribute. WHY WAS MINERU IN THIS GAME. HOW DID SHE CONTRIBUTE TO THE NARRATIVE. I started jokingly referring to her as Mineral after I got started on the fifth sage plotline, because I knew from the dragon memories she was supposed to be haunting the Purah Pad, but she'd spent the entire game being about as important as a random rock. And apparently I was right, Mineru did literally nothing the whole time!

...Actually now that I think about it, what the fuck did ANY of the modern sages do? Their abilities were just the old powers except worse (give me revali's gale over tulin's thing any day of the week, jesus christ), except for Yunobo's ability which was just to replace remote bombs as a convenient infinite mining tool. The sages apparently were just there to show up at the end as a Big Damn Hero moment to rescue Link from the absolute terror of... red bokoblins. Seriously, WHY did they do all the 'ooooh ganons summoning an aaarmy' scenes using mainly the lowest tier of enemies??? Sir, I'm armed to the teeth, fully armoured, and loaded up on hearts and stamina, why the fuck am I supposed to be intimidated by enemies that were still cannon fodder when I was stark naked and armed with a tree branch. At least the four sages were characters we already knew from BOTW, and they got to do some stuff (though using Tulin instead of Teba was complete bullshit, I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THIS RANDOM TEN YEAR OLD INTO A WAR ZONE. I FOUGHT A GIANT MECHA BIRD WITH TEBA, LET ME KICK ASS WITH BIRB DAD AGAIN)

Eugh. Just so much bad writing in this game, it's a constantly unfolding minefield of horrible decision making. Good luck with your fic though, and I hope you and your friend end up posting it! I've been finding pretty slim pickings on AO3 so far tbh; it seems everyone like me that's been trying to pick this story apart for good content is still trying to figure out what the fuck nintendo just handed us, so the AO3 has been mostly just people writing awful generic Link/Zelda content, mixed with the Link/Sidon shippers trying to fix the whole clusterfuck of Sidon getting a wife out of nowhere. Though I will say I have been very pleased with the fandom unanimously responding to that whole subplot with "Okay so this is some hetero nonsense because nintendo wanted to sink SidLink, BUT we love and respect Yona anyways". I guarantee if something like this had gone down like a decade ago, Yona would be the single most hated character in the game for it. I'm glad that she's being given love and respect despite having been made to be a shipbreaker!

Anyways my point is, I am a huge slut for character studies and worldbuilding, and dear lord have I ever been starved for content. There's so much ZeLink. All power to y'all that ship it of course, I'm glad you're happy, but their dynamic is the single most boring pile of dogshit I've ever seen in my life, and I'm way too aromantic to put up with it. My kingdom for some good character studies and/or platonic fics. Or even just interesting shipping fics that aren't focused on some shitty generic romance. There's a reason I love GanLink and it's not (just) for the porn, it's because those two literally always have some spectacular issues if they're together, regardless of the context. They're a walking psychological thriller, I love them.

[justagalwhowrites]

OMG! Howly cow! I am speechless!😳 Due to different time zones, the alert has been on my email for more than 12 hours. Hours in which I debated if reading throughout the day in small parts was a good idea or if waiting until I could read it properly was better. Luckily, I chose the second option. Bestie, what a chapter! I'm warning you I am becoming a greedy monster for this story! (I do not mean to be pushy. It's just my excitement speaking🤣.)

What a chapter! First, you made me cry, and then… Time enough for what? What's going on? What or who Bambi is protecting? Have I told you this story is good? With each chapter, it gets better! Will this thing be in the present time?😱

Of all the things that can happen during the patrol, that Joel is the only one making Bambi nervous is a bit funny. I understand why, but it's still fun. He hasn't given her any reason to doubt him, but I think that until she lets herself trust him completely she'll be conflicted. The revealing of her scar, I think, will be a heavy emotional moment between them.

For a second, before the men appeared, it looked like a weird first date with some shooting practice. LOL. And then we got some FeralJoel! The whole scene was brutal. I'm happy she didn't kill him at the end. It wouldn't have felt right. I might be rambling, but despite all, she's still good, and she should be able to keep her humanity.

(“Not here to help you,” Joel said, his voice almost eerily calm, so calm it sent a chill down your spine. “I’m here to get information and there’s only one way I know how to do it. You’re gonna want me to give you back to her by the time I’m done. So let’s begin.”) I'm not one to put bits of the chapter in my comments, but that one was something else.

I wonder if Joel knows any of those raiders.🤔 If he does, I hope he tells Bambi about his past before that comes up. If not, it could cause serious trouble between them.

And the kiss at the end felt so right!😍 It felt so natural to happen there. I loved it! The whole moment was so meaningful. I loved how, despite seeing Joel's worst side, she still feels safe with him. It shows the trust Bambi has in him, and if that is not a big sign, I don't know what is.

Thanks for the update! Sorry for the ramble! ♥️♥️♥️

By the way, I found ''Homecoming'' and ''Long distance'' today. Those two-shots are a treasure. I was grinning the whole time I was reading. I love the forbiden thing of DBF, you aced it! I wouldn't mind at all to read more about them.

Ahhhh HI BESTIE!

Please be as greedy as you want with this story, I love sharing it so so much and it brings me so much joy when people love to read it.

When it comes to the opening of the chapter, let's just say I don't drop plot hooks without a reason. I promise, answers are coming (...eventually 😌)

Bambi is so interesting to me when it comes to intimacy! She's so gun shy of it now, especially physical intimacy. She'd kind of rather deal with infected than the warring feelings she's having, I think. Infected she feels more a sense of control over the situation, she knows how to get out of it and how to handle it. Not so with Joel! All her tools for this situation are from a very different time in her life. She can't just walk up to him like she did Justin in chapter one and say "Come see what else I'm good at riding on" and she's not quite sure what to do instead. She's so out of her depth!!

And it did kind of feel date-y right?? They were having their lil apocalypse picnic lol! But Joel got to be the protector and helped keep her safe and let her hold onto her humanity a little while longer, too.

I will say with Joel's raider history, that was a long time ago and a long ways off. HOWEVER... he still did some terrible, horrible things and worked with some terrible, horrible people. And while he may not have been the worst of them, there were things that those other men did that he just stood by and allowed. If Bambi had been taken in, say, Tennessee or something in 2004, Joel wouldn't have done a thing to stop it. He's grown and changed a lot since then, he's going to have some feelings about himself with that.

Yes, Bambi does, on a conscious level, really trust Joel more than anyone else (except maybe Ellie but that's more of a different kind of trust and relationship than anything else.) But her trauma addled brain has a hard time fully embracing that trust. It's a little like your friend getting a dog just after you were mauled by a dog. It's probably sweet and very kind to you and would never hurt a fly but... you're probably not going to want it licking your face right away. But she's DEFINITELY getting there!!

And yayayayayayayaya! Homecoming and Long Distance! Those are fun ones. You can expect the occasional one shot of that couple from time to time. I just don't have a full arc for them, they just fit a fun prompt or ask now and then!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE! I love your notes, they make me so happy. Thanks for reading! Love you!!

[lilithrebellion]

Mind sharing your thoughts about Krul and Mika’s dynamic? It’s so complicated and muddied thanks to her treatment of him, you can’t help but be intrigued. I also can’t help but notice that she’s a lot nicer to Amaya compared to everyone else but maybe that’s just cause she’s her best solider?

Sure!

Overall, I think Krul has a sort of "tough love" approach to "parenting" Mika. I see her as being strict, but very supportive. In fact, I think the strictness comes from her being supportive, in that she's pushing Mika to succeed in his goals.

In the early flashbacks, Krul's treatment of him does seem questionable since she did force him to become a vampire and talks about how Mika drinking her blood instead of from humans makes him reliant on her like a "dog". But, I also see it as her offering Mika that choice while also being very upfront about the caveats. Because she could have shoved the blood down his throat like when she turned him. But for this scene, she waits until Mika bites her on his own. In a way, she let Mika have what could be considered an informed choice. She's just phrasing it in a vampire-like way.

And while in the beginning, it does seem like Krul is only helping Mika because she needs him for his Seraph gene, I do feel that Krul cares about Mika more than just conveniently using him for her goals. In fact, I think it was made really clear in chapter 96. First, there's a flashback of her training baby Mika. Which, on one hand, does look like she's just one-sidedly beating him up. But you also see that Mika isn't shown as distressed, but determined instead. So much that Krul sounds somewhat impressed at what he's willing to do to save Yuu. And then Mika says he can handle it and asks her to keep going, you get this proud Mama Krul smile.

Plus, the harsh training does make sense. Mika would have understood that he needs to be strong if he wants to save Yuu, and he knows he's not going to get that if he's coddled. Although it's rough, Krul's giving Mika what he wants here.

Same chapter, she comments about how Yuu and gang are dumb (lol) and that if she had raised them, they would have turned out smarter, like how Mika is. Another proud mama moment, in my eyes.

After recalling this, she asks Yuu to prove how serious he is about wanting to save Mika. I'll put the panel again, because it speaks for itself.

Krul is doing this because the idiocy Yuu's been showing has made her doubt his intentions and she wants to know that Mika's care for Yuu isn't one-sided, that he actually cares about Mika in return. She wants to know that Yuu was worth all the suffering Mika went through. Which is, the most blatant protective parent behavior ever. And I don't think she would have bothered with saying this if Mika was just a tool to her.

And besides this, I find that despite the harsh things Krul says to Mika (especially in the earlier chapters), she is surprisingly lenient towards him. Again, with not forcing him to drink human blood. And also with how she encourages Mika's desire to save Yuu. Which makes me think that the harsh statements early on that he "can't defy her since she's his owner" shouldn't be taken literally and actually means "be smart and think this through. I'm not your enemy". In chapter 22 where this takes place, it happened because Mika got mad at Krul for keeping her plans from him. But after saying the above, she ends up whispering it to him anyway. Which, I don't think she'd have done if she actually cared about Mika being obedient. Also I do find it mildly hilarious that Mika goes "I want to run away with Yuu-chan" and Krul's response is essentially "Yes, do it. Go run away with him. That works for me too.👍"

And sidenote. Not sure how canon we want to consider this, but I find this bit from the Shitsuji no Seraph drama cd where Krul is going full mama mode doting on Mika to be adorable.

Now getting into Krul and Amaya in comparison. I also used the "strict but supportive" idea when conceptualizing their dynamic. (Although less "mom-like" with Amaya since she wasn't as young and also already has a mom) Similar to the human blood thing with Mika, Krul is upfront with Amaya about what becoming a vampire means and let her make the decision herself. Plus, when Krul tells Amaya that she should leave after the Ashina battle, it is to protect her from experiencing the pain of being shunned as a monster by the people she wanted to protect if they found out. Of course, she does experience this anyway later on. Krul's intention here is something like "I'm telling you this for your own good, but if you need to find out the hard way then so be it." And when Krul finds Amaya afterwards, I wanted to make sure that her words of comfort didn't come off as too gentle. With how I saw her interactions with Mika, I think she's the type to give the honest truth, even if it's hard to hear and won't sugar coat things. I also find that she values independent thought (from how she's proud of Mika for being smart), which is why I had her tell Amaya to decide for herself what it means to be a vampire.

And mirroring Krul's encouragement of Mika to run away with Yuu, Krul so far has been encouraging of Amaya wanting to protect Yui. However, Krul's support of Mika was partially due to their goals aligning. And without giving too much away, this will also hold true for Amaya and Yui. For now, just know that Krul also has her goal of taking down Karlheinz since she finds him to be an annoyance, and that Amaya helping Yui is currently in line with that goal.

So while yes, Krul is nice to Amaya. And yes, it is partially because she has been a loyal and dependable soldier for about 500 years now. But the main point is that same with Mika, Krul is allowing Amaya's actions because it is also what she wants for one reason or another. As for what that reason is, you'll just have to wait and see.😉

(Low key though, Krul does totally ship it lol)

[blackjackkent]

Finished that conversation with Gale and was doing a quick pan around to see if anyone had question marks and

what the fuck.

This literally almost jumpscared me; where the fuck did you come from? HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP GETTING INTO OUR HOTEL ROOM?

(Based on the following dialogue the game clearly expected us to have that conversation about the book while out and about on the street, but that is not what happened and consequently this whole conversation is Unintentionally Hilarious.)

"Elminster?!"

"Hello, m'boy! Don't mind me - I'm just enjoying a fresh lungful of Baldurian air - a distinctive aroma, though perhaps not one worthy of bottling."

"I hear you've been browsing in that most esteemed of emporiums, Sorcerous Sundries. Indulge my curiosity - what wonders did you discover there?"

Even if we had "randomly" met up out on the street, this would not be particularly subtle, but as it is, you are not fooling anyone, Elminster. :P

Hector never wants to lie, but he also isn't sure he wants Elminster carrying info about their research back to Mystra, so he evades. "You don't seem all that surprised to see Gale alive and well."

Elminster shrugs. "I trusted he would be sensible enough to exercise caution in this matter, and to seek the truth. By now, you are aware of the evil we are up against." Like a switch turning off, the befuddled old man disappears, and his expression turns sharp and keen. "Karsus's pestilent Crown. The very tool with which its eponymous creator unmade an empire and magic itself."

He looks at Gale steadily. "Perhaps now you understand what is at stake here, m'boy. Though what Mystra asked of you was extreme, it was not without merit, nor demanded lightly."

"What are you saying?" Gale asks warily. "Or rather, what are you not saying?"

"Mystra knows you defied her, Gale," Elminster says soberly. "Of course she knows - she's Mystra. She bids you come to her holy shrine in the Stormshore Tabernacle. There, she will grant you an audience at last."

Hells, Hector thinks sourly. He doesn't want Gale to take the power of Karsus to rebel against Mystray - but he doesn't think Mystra is any good for him either. It's a difficult thing for him to say, a man of faith as he is, but Mystra has been a toxic presence in Gale's life, and from the outside it is easy to see that this is just another attempt at manipulation - sending Gale to be destroyed did not work, so she will dangle the possibility of "forgiveness" in front of him instead.

But will Gale see it that way? Hector can no more force him to a decision than he could do so for Shadowheart or Lae'zel or Karlach.

Stay silent.

He waits quietly, his eyes flicking between the two men with a worried expression.

"Mystra's... willing to speak to me again?" Gale asks unsteadily. "Was this your doing, Elminster?"

Elminster smiles slowly. "She knows what I see in you. Just as I know what she sees in you. I was not born an old man. I know all too well what it's like to have a goddess fill your heart with longing. Looking at you is like gazing into a mirror that shows centuries long past."

(A/N: I kind of love this actually? Like, as a character note. Elminster has - at least in my experience in these games - always been sort of framed as this omniscient voice, not a particularly three-dimensional character. But what he is encouraging Gale towards is an unhealthy decision, one informed by his own past as an equally fallible human. Kind of a nice note of depth.)

And, to Hector's surprise, Gale's expression hardens. "The past is the past, Elminster," he says coolly. "And the future is-- well, still to be decided. By me, not by Mystra."

Hector says nothing, but gives the slightest nod of approval, even of pride. No doubt Gale means, more specifically, controlling the crown for himself, which Hector still intends to stand against. But succumbing again to Mystra's manipulations is not the answer either, and he knows it must be taking Gale more than a little strength of will to hold himself back from leaping at the temptation being dangled before him.

Elminster raises an eyebrow thoughtfully. His expression is suddenly difficult to read - it's unclear if he's impressed, irritated, or touched. "If there is another way," he says quietly, "I trust you can find it. It is not in your nature or mine to stop looking, to accept the first answer to any dilemma. Do what you can. Put that mind to work." He puts a hand on Gale's shoulder. "Trust in yourself. Trust in the Weave. If you are willing - trust in Mystra. There is a conclusion yet to be written in this sorry tale, Gale of Waterdeep, and yours is the quill that will write it."

And without another word, he vanishes.