#took this earlier and idk if its been documented

[pastasam]

Ad for the Ranma 1/2 anime remake in Ueno station

[lieblingspulli]

Night Routines: SKZ

W.c: 1.9k

Changbin x Reader

Summary: Soft Changbin hours. Lots of cuddles, night routine and the likes. 

A/n: Just a quick little work I did to get my brain juices flowing. I imagine that when I write my brain feels like those clear looking PCs that have tubes with cool looking lava lamp liquid and a fan. I hope you know what I’m talking about LOL. Based on some prompts: “Do you think it would be helpful if we were cuddling?” and “Look at me in the eyes right now and tell me what time you went to bed last night, or if you even went to bed.” Enjoy this sweet and short piece!

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist

P.s. I just noticed all my Changbin pieces are about him coming home to you, don’t know why but he’s just such a homey person? Idk. 

Usually, whenever Changbin got home from the studio, you were either making dinner or showering to get ready for bed. Usually. 

Most days, you got home earlier than he did, owing to you being a college student and he, a performer and songwriter. Changbin tried not to make it too late, he knew he had to keep work boundaries, but sometimes he did run a little later than usual. 

The routine was always as follows. You usually got home, got some work done and tried to finish before Changbin got off of work. While he rushed home, you made dinner or showered then made dinner with Changbin. Succeeding this, the two of you did dishes, a minor tidy up of the apartment and then your night routine of washing up and bed cuddles. Most nights, this took you up until almost 10:30 on a good day and past 11 on a bad one. 

Changbin was used to this. He loved the structure. He could run to the gym after work if you had a heavy workload that week, or he could come home and relax with you on evenings which should have been this evening. 

The time read 10:46pm. You were only on page 6 out of 10 and really wanted to rip your hair out for not doing this earlier, but you also had a lab report to write up earlier instead. It wasn’t the latest time ever, but you had been working all day and you felt like a zombie on its feet. Every once in a while, the soft lighting and ambience from your music would lull you to sleep before you snapped your eyes open again. The unfortunate event of Changbin coming home did not snap you out of your constant battle between filling in your outline and trying to stay awake. 

As soon as Changbin entered the apartment, he could hear keyboard keys clicking. There was faint music coming from the bedroom, the living room lights were off and it was oddly silent, even though he could hear the music. Right away, Changbin felt a frown form on his face. 

“Jagiya? You home?” Changbin called out, hoping you would come out and say sorry for not greeting him right away. No response. He could only hear the psychological echoes of his voice. 

Changbin threw his bag down and took off his shoes in the doorway before heading to the bedroom right away. He swung open the door to find you hunched at your desk, completely focused on the screen in front of you. Or, at least that’s what he assumed. You laptop was open to a document, with the extra monitor opened on youtube. However, the youtube video displayed the “are you still watching?” sign. Changbin stood there for a few seconds, waiting to see if you were actually awake, but to no avail. He shuffled forward in hopes the noise might startle you, but it didn’t. 

Hm. He walked over and peeked over your shoulder. You were hunched forward, leaning your cheek on your wrist. Your eyes were closed and your eyebrows scrunched together. You must have fallen asleep while writing. Changbin smiled, mildly entertained by the scene in front of him. He also didn’t want to scare you awake, so he lightly tapped your shoulder and whispered, “Y/n? Baby?” You stirred but didn’t open your eyes. Changbin held his breath. He then poked your cheek. You startled awake. 

“Wha- Was I asleep? Oh. Hi baby.” You mumbled and rubbed your eyes open to see your boyfriend standing right by your side. He cheekily grinned and motioned towards the monitor with his head. 

“What are you working on that has you falling asleep on your desk?” He chuckled and squeezed your shoulder as you readjusted in your seat. 

“Oh, this is my research paper. I gotta get it done by tomorrow.” 

Changbin nodded and gave a little, “Ah.” You nodded and tried to attempt to see where you left off before you fell asleep. Changbin looked at your face and studied how tired you looked. He had walked into a similar scene yesterday and fell asleep to it too. 

“Babe, no offense, but how long has it been since you slept?” He carefully said. You turned your head to answer but kept your eyes on the screen. You non-committedly replied, “I took a nap earlier.” This reply irritated Changbin. He didn’t like when you didn’t rest enough, it only led to worse things for your body. The odd silence in the apartment further irritated him and led Changbin to drag your chair away from the desk, with you in it. This solicited a “Hey, I was working!” from you, but he just shook his head and firmly turned you towards him. He kneeled in front of you and settled his hands on your thighs. You frowned at him, but couldn’t stay mad at his soft looking face. You huffed in annoyance. 

Changbin thought for a bit before asking again. 

“Babe. Y/n. Look at me in the eyes right now and tell me what time you went to bed last night, if you even went to bed at all.” He taunted you with his eyes. You rolled your eyes and tried to look at him in his eyes. You shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. He raised his eyebrows, expecting an answer. 

“3.” 

“Okay. What time did you wake up to finish that lab report? I know you didn’t finish it.” 

Your boyfriend sure was cheeky sometimes. You blew some hair out of your face in annoyance. 

“7.” 

“Oh my gosh, Y/n-” He groaned and let his head drop to touch your knees. You kind of felt bad for worrying him so you hurriedly tried to defend yourself. 

“Hey, Look, it’s not that bad. At least I got some sleep.” You sucked at this. He looked back up to you and rubbed his own tired eyes. “Babe. I just came home to you asleep at your desk. My yelling didn’t even wake you up. You can barely keep your eyes open.” He pointed out. You didn’t know what to say. He sighed and hopped back up to stand. 

“Fine. If you won’t sleep, then I’ll make you go to sleep.” He said with a firm nod, proud of himself for taking some initiative. You started to protest but Changbin just leaned forward and pulled you over his shoulder, eliciting a shriek. 

“Seo Changbin! What are you doing!” 

“Baby, this is for your own good. I’m taking care of my baby, that’s what I’m doing.” He said and you could only prop yourself up on his back. He carried you to the bathroom before setting you down. 

“Why are we here?” You puffed in annoyance. 

Changbin just started getting out your face wash and other things related to your night routine. As soon as he set everything down in front of you he motioned to the mini display and crossed his arms. 

“We are doing our night routine. Like we always do.” He just stood and waited. You scoffed and began to brush your teeth, occasionally looking back at your boyfriend. He really just waited until you started until he began to do it himself. While you two were brushing your teeth, he even tried to smile at you with his toothbrush in his mouth. Unfortunately a bunch of toothpaste foam fell out of his mouth and you laughed at him, almost choking on your own spit. The both of you giggled like kids as you moved on to face wash. 

Changbin insisted on doing this step for you, so you let him put your face wash on your face (with clean hands of course!) and rub it in circles. He put a little too much pressure though, and he was moving your whole face in circles. 

“Changbin!” You laughed and he smiled at the sight of you finally smiling for once. Man, he loved you so much. 

“What?” 

“You’re moving my entire face!” 

“Yah, stop talking unless you want bubbles in your mouth.” He lessened his firmness and continued to emulsify the soap on your face until you tried to pull away. 

“Hey, I’m not done!” He scolded you. 

“Baby, it’s been 60 seconds. We’re done.” You laughed and proceeded to help him do his face. He sat patiently while you spread his face wash on his cheeks, forehead, chin and nose. You also gave him a forehead massage. He sighed and melted in your hands. Entirely focused, you moved on to his cheeks and then his nose. He stood as still as possible. 

After you tapped his cheek, signaling your task was complete, you both rinsed your face and did the rest of your routine together. After that, you climbed into bed as he changed into his sleeping shorts. 

“Yah, what are you staring at?” Changbin feigned to act all shy. You laughed and stared at his shoulders. 

“Oh, I’m just admiring all the hard work my boyfriend puts in at the gym.” You snickered and pulled the blanket over you as Changbin picked up the pillow from the edge of the bed to throw at you. You both giggled. 

Changbin climbed in as you let the cover fall from your face. He snuggled up close to you and you wrapped your arms around his torso as he fit himself into the shape of your body. 

“Baby, I don’t know if I’m tired anymore.” You whispered just as he began to close his eyes. He snapped them open. 

“What?” Changbin pouted. 

You laughed. “I can’t stop thinking about my assignments.” 

“Ah, would it help if I cuddled you how you like?” He pleaded with his doe eyes. 

You nodded and made a sad face. He scrunched his nose in reply. 

“Whatever makes my baby sleep better at night.” He then turned to flip off the lights and readjust you so you were the smaller spoon facing him. 

“This better?” 

“Mmm, yeah.” You sighed and relaxed in his arms. 

“You’re so warm.” You whispered. He rubbed your back to lull you back into a tired state. 

“Go to sleep baby. I’ll be right here to hold you all night.” He whispered back and kissed your head. You were too tired to reply, and before you knew it, his body warmth had lulled you to sleep. You didn’t even get to kiss him goodnight. 

Changbin watched your eyes close and he could feel your breath even out, signaling you fell asleep. He watched your eyelashes flutter as you went off to dreamland. 

“I love you Y/n.” He whispered before relaxing more himself and settling into a deep sleep for himself. 

[bisluthq]

Someone: hands me an NDA after the thing asking I don't talk about the thing

Me: lol. No

Someone: surprised Pikachu face. Adds a payout to it

Me: warmer warmer

😂😂 I joke, but I've had to sign a lot of NDAs for work and it's basically like the equivalent of "don't tell people our business model or how much we spend", I've never had one say "and don't tell people you signed an NDA". Very few times have I been asked to sign one after the thing and it was only because the person who was meant to give it to me forgot to earlier, or some extra info came to light that they didn't want out (how much the other company was spending on another campaign and paying their celeb endorsement). If I didn't sign the ones I was asked to after the thing, worst case scenario they might've fired someone on their team, but me personally - no consequences (I always signed anyway). And none of them had legal consequences for me except getting fired and sued if I shared our business model with a competitor (which I didn't, but when I left that company I took my skills and knowledge with me sooooo....... Lmao).

Idk I used to be a kaylor and the constant NDA talk was one of the things that broke me when someone said 'its not worth prison' to break an NDA and shit. They're more corporate docs than scandal management shit (I knew some people who wished they could use them to guarantee silence for their own mental health though lol 😂 but also once you're in that scene where you get actual gossip, you don't risk your career for $1,000 to share a pic of a C list model doing ❄️ at a party a b lister you're trying to work with is at)

yea look, NDAs are civil contracts (ie it’s never a “right to jail” situation), primarily used for business purposes (as you describe and actually it’s really not just in entertainment industries like all corporates use them and anything to do with R&D uses them a ton). From a scandal management perspective, an NDA can be used to finalize a settlement right, so you CAN sign an NDA on settling a case whereby one or both parties agree not to reveal the details of the settlement agreement.

The thing is, NDAs are also grounded in law. So you can’t, for example, NDA illegal activity (however much some people might want to 😂) because let’s say even as a silly example, I can’t make my employee sign a contract that says they vow never to reveal my use of ❄️ because (even though a lot of people do it) ❄️ is illegal so if a cop catches me they can arrest me and if my employee saw me do it they’d have to testify tbh and whether I got them to sign something to say they wouldn’t or nah is irrelevant. I can ask them to perjure themselves like privately but I can’t say “dude you signed a document that says you can never talk about illegal shit I do.”

NDAs also have to be clearly defined in terms of what the fuck they’re protecting (you can’t NDA any publicly accessible info for example) and generally are limited in time (let’s say I’m in R&D at Apple right and I move to a better job at Samsung like yes I can take my knowledge and skills but I can’t take the stuff we were working on at Apple with me BUT at a certain point that needs to expire because either that’ll become publicly accessible when Apple files its patents and/or they’re not planning to use what I worked on so I can use it etc) and also have to be demonstrably confidential issues that are very clearly defined as being such (actual example of an NDA I signed in the capacity of being a household PA in UHNW settings stated things like I can’t release addresses of RENTED properties (their official residences are publicly accessible info tho), any financial information I’m privvy to that I learn at work, security details, I can’t post any pictures on my socials where I can be clearly identified as being at one of their known properties without their permission etc like what was confidential was explicitly stated; an on set NDA I signed said I can’t refer to the project other than by its code name until it airs, I can’t reveal where precisely filming took place, and I can’t reveal any technical information I am privvy to on set; etc).

but like also those - and other NDAs I’ve signed - were contracts not Unbreakable Vows. They’re the same as employment contracts (mine came with jobs/projects) and prenups and leases of all kinds in that you… can break them. I haven’t broken an NDA or a rental lease but I’ve broken an employment contract and nothing really happened lol because the hassle and expense and embarrassment for them to sue me wasn’t worth it and they just hired a new person. Like technically they could’ve sued me for damages and shit but I wasn’t asking for their side of the contract either (ie my payment for fulfilling it lol) so suing me would’ve been a colossal waste of time and money even tho I’m pretty sure they’d have won lol because I basically just said “I don’t feel like doing this job anymore” and peaced out lol.

If someone breaks an NDA (or any contract), you can sue them, obviously for breach of contract and damages. That’s not a situation anyone really wants to be in over like celeb secrets (also because the celeb would have to file this so it’s kinda not non disclosing since they’re gonna have to sue you lol). I think the most common thing that keeps people’s mouths shut aren’t NDAs but the… need to keep working and also not wanting to be in mess/a snitch? Gaylor world NDAs wouldn’t work at all but even like a Joebless NDA where he signed one to get a payout would be like… idk man how that’d work lol tbqh from a legal perspective because I’m not sure how she’d enforce it so 💀🤷🏻‍♀️

[buglyknight]

611) pantry goblin

ok now im a small goblin in a pantry

tech support mom and dad above me

"why are women so.. "

I stare at your name

"beautiful" I say.

"y'know what i mean?"

my smile leaps from my skin

three seconds later

"nevermind. women are so stupid."

Rebecca chimes in

she's looking at tik toks i guess of food

the way she says caramel.. something or other sounded cute

and comfy

anyway

she chimes in-

awww

listen, you got to be on top for a second

now we're back to baseline

women are dumb!!!!

women are stupid!!!!

tech support parents bicker and then

okay check this folder

make sure this matches this .dll file

me, a grape, a small pantry goblin

stares at pathfinder rules tom is looking at

while they look at files

i keep asking

'do you guys think i can make it to the fridge and back?

i can probably make it to the fridge and back.

do you think i could get water and make it back?

fuck im out of water every minute i wait its going to get harder

i should have got the water earlier!

do you think i can make it?'

right now, I'm doubting it

every once in a while tom will

pass a note in class over to me

okay but look at this rule

yeah i can fucking try but do you see what the words on your screen are doing?

anyone else blasting through serotonin right now?

fuck

yeah, whatever, it works like that

okay now you're a sorcerer with a wizard fucking spellbook?

just play a wizard, but alright..

i guess it makes sense

yeah i can barely read any of this

okay so that matches, ch ch ch, let's go back a folder and check documents, oh where's your game saved? can we go to the game directory, okay back a folder. No. three up. No, back where you were"

Austin is doing a great job

Grant is just.. this poor guy

i look over at what they're doing

BIG MISTAKE

too many letters and they're so small

go back to Tom it's comfy here

And I'm listening and feeling like I'm in a small pantry

smiling and staring at your name

what season of tech support anime is this?

how many arcs do we have to go through?

im so invested in this storyline are my friends

going to be able to play elden ring randomized mod together

is elden ring seamless coop folder going to get a happy ending?

this feels anything but seamless

i giggle in fits as i hear them talk about where to put things

gods i really hope this season is better

the classic fatalerror.dll twist! who could have seen it coming

cant wait for next season

please! it's been a thousand episodes! i need to know the ending!

okay, jacob but look at

bro whyyy did you wait till i took three tabs of acid before

you wanted to make this character!!!!

okay i can try to read but your letters keep dancing dude

sorry, i know but okay look at recognize spell and then quick recognition, isn't this one just better.. so why would i..?

idk man, oh it's a prerequisite! solved. easy, keep these easy ones coming

okay get all this wizard shit out of heeeeeeere get rid of it! it's getting in the way

okay now read magical shorthand

bro anything but magical shorthand i can't

it's so many leterrrrrs

okay but now that im basically a wizard this should work, right?

oh. yeah!

finally

oh my god

anything but magical shorthand again

he really wanted that to work

it just has like.. words in it

so your folder looks the same as mine.. maybe it's the crash text logs or something, that'd be STUPID but maybe??

okay it's still not launching

okay i know youre going to hate this but, we might just want to start from scratch

okay.. Grant i think starting from season 1 is probably best this story is way too convoluted

oh my god it's finally launching!

and i think they gave up they couldnt get it to work together

the seeds weren't working

but they should have been

i got up to go to the fridge but i

didn't make it back

Tom was in here till 4am clicking through things but

at least Austin could play

i had to go sit on the bed

why was your name doing that

with all its beautiful letters?

i couldnt keep my smile contained

i tried to catch it

but it kept leaping out of my face

[bonky-n-steeb]

are your requests open? if yes can i please request a steeb fic, where steve and reader meet at the VA and fall in love, like love at first sight or a soulmate au? idk if you write soulmate AUs. also i think your fics are amazing😌✋, pls keep writing more stuff, your fics always make my day!

Omg! Thanks ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎. This request is so sweet! Ily!

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿

𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || With your broken soul mark, you never thought you’d have a soulmate. But it’s rightly said, patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || none

this is not proofread :/

This is the first time I’m writing a soulmate AU. Hope y’all like it!

“Congratulations Mr. Andrews. Your loan has been approved.” You said as you finalized the documents and passed them over to him to once over.

You were about to inform the veteran where to sign when the feeling hit you in full force. Warmth spread all over your body as your heart thumped and a heavy feeling took place in your chest.

It was an uneasy feeling like drowning and flying at the same time. Adrenaline rushed freely in your veins as you held your hand near your heart and tried soothing yourself.

You knew this feeling, even if you had never experienced it before, you had read it and heard it enough number of times. Your soulmate was near.

Every single person was had their own soulmate; a person they were destined to be with. Some found them early in their lives while others found them in unexpected places.

As a kid you had a few guesses on how your soulmate would be. And a teenager, you had randomly wandered the streets hoping to meet him. But after growing up, you had almost given up the hope.

Now, everyone in your friend circle had found their soulmate, everyone except you. You were always a little different from the rest. Earlier you had been shy, but now you were proud to stand out from the crowd.

While everyone else had elegant complete symbols which matched with their mate. Yours was a star, which was only halfway completed through and left open ended. When feeling utterly sad, you used to take a pen and draw the remaining sides to make it complete.

You were sure by now that there wasn’t a single other person in this universe who had such a broken, half assed symbol. You were meant to be alone, to be incomplete.

But then this realisation took you by surprise, you had a soulmate! There was someone else made by this universe just for you and he was right here, right now.

You looked at your wrist where the mark was embedded and your breath hitched, it was glowing a faint shade of blue and tingling.

Without wasting a moment, you stood up from your chair and started walking blindly. The man in front of you looked bewilderedly at you, but after seeing your condition a small smile graced his lips.

It wasn’t uncommon for people to meet soulmates at work. As you pushed pass people towards an unknown destination, the pull started getting stronger.

It felt as if you and your mate was connected with unseen threads that were pulling you both closer and closer; like stretched apart rubber bands finally contracting.

It oddly reminded you of searching for a wifi signal. You were about to chuckle at your thought, when you bumped into someone.

The moment your bodies touched, it felt as if an electric current flowed through you. But it wasn’t painful, instead it was satisfactory.

Looking up, you saw clear blue eyes peering at you. His jawline was sharp and his blond hair matched him perfectly. His straight nose was a bit crooked and it only added to his beauty.

He was your soulmate. This man who would make even the gods jealous with his beauty, was your soulmate. You stared at him for a minute more, and that’s when you realised who he was.

He was your soulmate? Wait… wait… wait!!! No no no. It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be possible, right? You couldn’t be that lucky, right?

Captain freaking America was your soulmate! Steve Rogers was literally the most coveted man on this planet and he was your soulmate?

In your head, you danced with joy and shouted with excitement. But in reality you were staring at Steve like a fish. And Steve, despite being an avenger, was no better.

“Captain America found his soulmate!” Someone screamed in the background and soon there was a clatter of flashes and shouts. People were taking your photos and videos while you both just awkwardly looked at each other.

They must’ve noticed the way you both were pulled towards each other like moths towards light. The clear signs of distress while searching and the soothing calmness after finding ones soulmate was clearly distinguishable.

Suddenly shy and embarrassed of the whole ordeal, you bit your lower lip. You saw his eyes instantly snap to that gesture of yours. “Let’s go somewhere.” He whispered so that only you could hear.

Some people moved away to allow you two to walk while the others kept on clicking your photos. You were sure they would be plastered on the news by today evening.

You locked the door and pulled the curtains when you finally entered the inside office. “Umm, hey! I’m Steve!” He was fidgeting with his jacket as if didn’t usually ordered the avengers around.

“I know.” You shared your own name and he repeated it to see the way it rolled off his tongue. “I never… I never thought it would be you.” You shyly admitted.

You couldn’t believe captain America was blushing at your words. “You’re beautiful.” He complimented. The sincerity that dripped from his voice made your heart melt.

“Thanks.” It felt as if you’d forgotten all the words. As you sat besides each other on the small couch, your eyes wandered to his wrist. Following your eyes, he pulled the sleeve of his jacket back to show you the mark.

All the soulmates were supposed to have the same marks, but that wasn’t the case with you. His mark picked up right where yours ended. His star completed yours; if you would place it on one another, it would form a complete beautiful blue star.

“You complete me.” The words that slipped past your lips, weren’t only about the soulmate mark. You meant it about every aspect of your life.

While he was the storm of adventure you wanted, you were the calm of familiarity he needed. It was like two pieces of puzzle who fit perfectly.

You were disturbed from the sweet moment by the incessant buzzing of your phone. You were sure the photos were on social media by now and your friends and family must have seen them.

“Would you… Umm, would you like to come on a date with me?” Steve was at loss of words. He was sure there was a better way to frame this.

“Yes!” This wasn’t the right place to talk about anything. It was your office and it was swarming with people. You needed to go somewhere private.

“How about we go somewhere right now?” Steve asked hopefully. He couldn’t possibly wait until the end of this day. He had waited a literal century, but waiting a few hours more felt impossible. You thought for a moment, before nodding.

You would probably have to ask for a leave and what not. Also, mr. Andrews was probably still sitting at your desk. But you could see that later on. Right now what mattered was you and Steve.

Hand in hand, you both walked upto his Harley-Davidson. He checked if you were seated safely and you clutched his jacket as the motorcycle roared to life.

As the fresh air hit your cheeks, and Steve scent overwhelmed your nose, you knew you weren’t broken anymore. You knew you were finally complete.

[probably-haven]

Spoilers Galor ...... it is time.... for me to do what ive been considering for quite some time

this is my arguement... on why, whether romantically or platonically, i think you should ship or bro-ship,...... Childe.... and Albedo

HERE ME OUT I SWEAR PLEASE IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD- JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE! rarepair shipping is painful- join me

OR DONT EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE THE SHIP A CHANCE I DO A LOT OF ANALYSIS ON ALBEDO AND CHILDE’S CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY, AS WELL AS THE FATUI, THEYRE METHODS, AND THE RELATION WITH MONDSTADT- AND OTHER STUFF- just- if you like reading different analysis-es of the game or ship material or anything- 

please just consider skimming it possibly- 

so for the first section of my argument, i will cover why this is a largely feasible possibility, so let’s set the stage

- Childe is from Snezhnaya, and he is shown to have a large amount of ties to his home, including but not limited to; his family, ice fishing, and just a large number of nostalgic references in his voice lines. 

- Because of this it’s a pretty common occurrence that he finds himself feeling homesick, as with many of the other Fatui.

- This is why he, like many of the other Fatui, so frequently visit and camp within Dragonspine, where the cold snowy atmosphere serves to remind them of home and the things they left behind.

- also in his birthday letter, it says he canonically visits Dragonspine, but explaining it this way gives it feeling 

- so considering that he would be in Dragonspine relatively often, and given the large number of Fatui camps in there regardless, it’s pretty clear he’d have heard of Albedo. So onto Albedo (unfortunately i wasnt there for his event so i dont have as much fuel, but it is what it is)

- there’s a few things that need to be asked first- It’s pretty clear that Albedo must have some interaction with the Fatui given the sheer number of them that camp in Dragonspine. Evidentially, he’s still alive so the question is why? and there’s a few possible explanations for this.

     - He just sneaks around a lot or avoids them (this i think is unlikely, as it would limit his actions while conducting experiments as well as the places where he’d be able to conduct them, which isn’t a big deal, but when there are other options I don’t think this is the one he’d pick)      - He just pulls a traveler and kills them (i don’t think he would do this except for as a last resort, he’s rather disconnected from any sense of empathy yes, but his time is better spent elsewhere. If it comes to that, it comes to that and he will, but he wouldn’t do it as his first option) (also i dont use geo characters much so idk how good he’d be at breaking their shields in this case)      - The Fatui don’t bother or attack him out of their own choice

- i think the third is the most likely, which sounds dumb but hear me out. 

- something that is stressed time and time again during the mondstadt archon quest is the fact that nobody wants to increase the always present strain on diplomatic relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya.      - Sure the Fatui do not care very much about this and have many ways to get around this. Signora attacking Venti (technically not a diplomat, and by disappearing she had plausible deniability; traveler’s words against her own, and really both traveler and Venti weren’t supposed to survive that, hence “leave no trace”), or the Fatui constantly attacking the traveler, (who’s canonically travelling alone with only Paimon, always on the move and encountering many unfamiliar dangers, not hard to clear up)      - However despite this, I still believe that Albedo’s safety(and by extent that of Sucrose and Timeus) on Dragonspine is maintained by a mixture of political agreement, situational convenience, and Albedo’s own actions

- its difficult for this to work but i believe it’s the most likely answer, combining all three possibilities that i mentioned above.  - Albedo is an official Knight of Favonius, so his death would cause a pretty dramatic commotion, and since he’s been in Dragonspine for as long as he has, if he was found dead outside of his lab- or suddenly disappeared, the first person to blame would be the Fatui.

- “But Flurp! what about the stuff you mentioned earlier, with Senora’s attack and the Fatui always going after the traveler?”

- context is key. The traveler is a traveler, and Venti was a necessity to achieve their goal. The traveler is also a huge threat to what they are trying to do, since the Fatui have probably heard of their accomplishments. Them attacking Venti was inevitable, no matter the strain it would cause. The fact that the traveler was there as well was merely coincidence in my opinion

- again “leave no trace” means the intent was that both the Traveller and Venti weren’t meant to survive. This is important because if the traveler disappeared, they would have vanished shortly after finishing what they had to do in mondstadt and thered be no reason to suspect anything had happened to them, just that they had moved onto Liyue. 

- Venti would pose risk, but again, the pros outweighed any risk it could have posed to their relations.

- with the Fatui regularly attacking the Traveler, again, that’s easy to clear up and would be difficult to pin on the Fatui, assuming how long it would take to realize they were gone (because despite helping so many people, its still natural to assume they’ve just travelled elsewhere)

- Albedo on the other hand, is technically a legal official, because of his high rank in the knights. He is also only ever really found in Dragonspine and Mondstadt the city. And he is well familiar with the dangers of Dragonspine, so if he were to die there it would be assumed to be either at the hands of the Fatui, or one of his own experiments.

- Thus attacking him is very high risk(unlike the traveler), and since he has nothing to do with their plans, low reward(unlike Venti). 

- So most likely he doesn’t needlessly interact with the Fatui, but should an experiment need to expand into the space of one of their camps, it’s likely he would need some kind of documentation to do so. At the same time, Albedo himself would also not be able to harm the Fatui who frequent the mountain. I TOOK WAY TO LONG TO EXPLAIN THAT UGGGGHHHHHHH anyways

- So set the stage, Childe is visiting Dragonspine, right? And he hears from whichever Fatui Camp he happens to stop in about the one Knight of Favonius that they keep seeing around Dragonspine, the one who just last week came to them with a stack of documents saying they would have to move their camp, it’s annoying but they have orders not to attack him. 

- and then there’s Childe, who’s been living in Liyue, surrounded by people who basically fear Dragonspine as if its some kind of deadzone, and he just assumed that for anyone not from Snezhnaya, thats exactly what it was. He assumed nobody but the Fatui would dare even visit there, let alone be there as frequently as whoever this person was. 

- And he’s got to be pretty important for there to be orders not to attack him, right?       - cue Childe’s unique brand of curiosity, so he asks more, apparently the fellow has a geo vision, and had been spotted taking down or even just lurking by a number of Dragonspine’s dangers as though it was merely routine       - cue flashback to when he first met the traveler, instantly hesitant, hostile, and potentially even afraid towards him as soon as he realized he was Fatui, even before revealing himself as a harbinger.

- so what was it about this guy that made him so convinced he could walk into a Fatui camp alone, order them around, and still walk out alive. Even Childe could admit how underhanded the Fatui were at times, their true orders could have been anything

- He’s not just going to leave now, no. So he asks more questions and figures out that they did at one point scout out his lab while the Knight was out, and give him the location. He’s a harbinger, what are they gonna say “sorry sir, can’t tell ya” no, these bitches see him with the same amount of fear they’d have for Dotorre or Scaramouche or La Signora or any of the others- you don’t just tell a harbinger “no”

- So anyways Childe decides to check it out 

- in the case that Albedo’s mid experiment in his lab when this happens, he’ll probably assume it’s a Knight, since the Fatui haven’t tried anything in quite some time and would just send off a quick “I am in the middle of an experiment right now, I would prefer not to be disturbed”      - and Childe would laugh at his voice because let’s be honest, he thinks of himself as a Chad and it just sounds “weak” to him, and then the scenario leads into what would happen even if he wasnt mid-experiment

and now a look into Albedo’s perspective

- let’s assume that the Knights heard about the Traveler’s role in what happened in Liyue, since it’s kind of common knowledge that Childe was the one who did it, and the traveler doesn’t exactly try to hide that he fought Childe. So considering how often the knights and the Fatui clash, and what happened with Signora, they would likely ask the traveler about it, in order to be better prepared, and for that same reason i feel like the traveler would tell them some of it. 

- so in this situation, it’s likely that Albedo would recognize him and likely know an amount of his combat abilities, and the thing with the fake seals of permission/Osial, but I don’t think the Traveler would have given told any more than that

- so here’s Albedo, surrounded by Fatui camps, knowing that he knows more about this Harbinger than the other thinks he does and assuming that Childe knows more about him himself, but just how much does he know.

- it’s the first time one of the Fatui has come to his lab in- he doesn’t know how long (other than the occasional instance of a wounded member risking the encounter in a moment of desperation. He’s observed that those who wield hydro have never been present in any of these instances, and are most likely designated as healers, but he isn’t in the best position to find out.)      - and the fact that the first Fatui to come to his camp(out of anything other than necessity) is a Harbinger, is certainly very off putting, as he knows that Childe most certainly has the ability to change the orders of the Fatui around him whose cooperation with him is something that he recognizes as very fragile

- and he knows it’s unlikely, in the back of his mind he keeps recalling that this specific Harbinger is the one who resurrected a dead god for the purpose of destroying a city (flashback to the famous “if I destroy Mondstadt” line) but he reminds himself that it’s highly improbable and thus illogical to jump to that conclusion, but he is nonetheless very on edge with Childe’s presence

- However, as with the rest of the Fatui, his hands are legally tied, and unless Childe moves to attack him, any move he makes would only serve to reflect on the rest of the knights

- As such neither would attack the other in this scenario, though Childe would very much want to, and Albedo would very much be prepared to.      - and both of these people are very observant (Albedo in the general sense and Childe in the ‘reading body language for combat’ sense) so both of them are completely aware of that, though Albedo would probably acknowledge that it may just be a result of his own paranoia

- However, unless Childe has orders otherwise, he tends to approach interactions with a more amiable attitude, extending his hand and introducing himself as “Childe,” less flamboyant than normal, because yes he’s extra, but not an idiot, he’s not gonna say “hey girlie, hold still” when the guy obviously has his hand tensed like that, “discretely” ready to reach for whats assumed to be a weapon, a melee one based on the position, sword or polearm probably

- Albedo, isn’t really one for pleasantries though, he has a number of things he still needs to do, and he does not want this Harbinger in or nearby his camp. “I’m aware” he says, giving his full attention, so as not to be caught off guard, and to get this over as quickly as possible. “I assume you have some purpose behind this visit. I am rather busy at the moment, so i would prefer that we keep this interaction brief.”

- and Childe is a little shit who still doesn’t know how to associate violence and hostility with any kind of bad vibes so he just laughs and holds up his hands “relax relax, I’m not here on business, no need to be on edge, right?”

- But Childe has a tendency while speaking to, knowingly or unknowingly, give his words a rather ominous tone. That and the fact that Albedo is in his lab, one of few places in Dragonspine where any misfortune that might befall him could be pinned on his own experiments keeps him from letting down his guard just yet. 

HOWEVER i cant do dialogue... and this isn’t technically a fanfiction so i can summarize-

- Childe is basically all like “so why the shit are you in dragonspine comrade? i thought yall hated it”

- and albedo is all “experiments and this is where my lab is, is ” but like- not key details cuz he isnt going to reveal stuff to the fatui

-and Childe basically be like “ why up here, isnt there other places,” cuz he legit doesn’t get it. He gets that his mindset isn’t the norm, so he’d assume Albedo would want to do anything to avoid Dragonspine and its dangers like what seems to be the norm for what most people hes interacted with have generally agreed

- and Albedo says some flowery words for like oh “In the pursuit of knowledge if one allows themselves to be dissuaded by potential dangers, then they will find it quite difficult to progress beyond that which is already known”

- which, is important cuz it reflects Childe’s mindset on getting stronger, so he’s like yeah, checks out, and being the extroverted shit he is, he has the guts to ask “aren’t you gonna ask why im in dragonspine?” or something because honestly he likes talking about himself, and thats a topic that doesnt have to do with the fatui so it’s an easy way to make conversation.

- and Albedo, who has by now slightly relaxed just enough to resume preparing the experiment he was preparing before Childe came in. and all passive aggressively is like “The same as the rest of the Fatui, most likely. Now if you don’t mind I do have a number of experiments to conduct and I’m afraid it can get rather dangerous, so it would be best that you take your leave now”

- and Childe gets the message that he’s essentially being told to fuck off but he’s also cheeky as shit and absolutely loves to test his luck so he’d be all “I thought you said not to be dissuaded by potential dangers” sounding all proud of himself for using the other’s words against him 

- and Albedo doesn’t have time for this so he just turns back towards Childe, same tone and same face as before, and repeats “it would best that you take your leave”

- Now Childe doesn’t see this as a challenge persay, but he sees how easily it can turn into one, and speaks the two cliche words “make me”

- but Albedo is also a little shit and just turns to resume his experiment, letting out a sigh “Stay if you’d like. I didn’t consider this possibility but I may have to request my lab be made off limits to the Fatui. A shame, I didn’t plan to return to Mondstadt for quite some time”

- and Childe, he’s decently smart- and he knows a number of things, 1 the other harbingers are gonna be pissed if they find out he caused more work for them again, 2 this individual is interesting and he very much wants the opportunity to fight them in the future, and 3 he’s not involved in politics and should Albedo follow through, the Harbingers wouldn’t give 2 shits if he asked them to try and get the change reversed.

- and so he leaves, but he’ll be back

- Albedo’s threat may have given him the upper hand for now, but it also served as a challenge he wouldn’t forget.       - of course it’s not really that big a deal though, just if he’s ever in Dragonspine again and there’s nothing nearby to kill, he’d keep it in mind, and hey, best case scenario he can get more information to contribute to the Fatui

OKAY

- so now that Childe is gone and Albedo is able to reflect on the interaction, at first he’s just relieved nothing bad happened

- within the following day he reflects once again, deciding that the Harbinger most likely wasn’t lying about his intentions, he truly did seem seem to merely have been curious as he had claimed

- in hindsight he also realizes that conversing with him may also allow him to confirm or deny a number of the theories he had on the Fatui, or perhaps raise more questions for him to look into that he had not yet considered... or at least it could as long as he was careful about how he asked.

- AND THUS there a few more meetings, many are purely conversational, each trying to get knowledge from the other while being fully aware that the other is trying to do the same      - not the type of battle Childe is used to, and it does get boring at times, but it’s all part of the game so he persists

- and eventually, as Albedo recognizes this as a regular thing, he begins enlisting Childe’s help in a number of experiments. Just figuring that since he’s doing an experiment and Childe is there regardless, it’s the most efficient option. That and it keeps the more dangerous questions to a minimum, often redirecting the questions towards alchemy, a much safer topic that he does not need to step so carefully around in order to discuss.

- There comes a point where Childe decides to point out the fact that Albedo most often has him help out with combat-requiring aspects of his experiments, and questions why

- Albedo, figuring it was obvious, reminds him of the conversation a few visits ago, where Childe mentioned his drive to get stronger, and(to requote) said that if he didn’t feel these opponents were sufficient to increase Childe’s strength, he could always bring in a couple Oceanids to fight. He then points out afterwards that ruin guards are a bit easier to fight with a bow

- Mixed responses from Childe including but not limited to      - quickly refusing in the language of hydro vision panic, followed quickly by      - oh, so he’s been trying to help this whole time, to-      - how the fuck would he bring Oceanids to Dragonspine, is that even possible?      - followed by curiosity

- and so he brings up the point that he’s never seen Albedo fight, which is a shame. “If you can’t take them down on your own just say so, no need to make excuses.” because heck yeah he’s going to taunt him, I mean this is Childe

- which of course Albedo returns with “If you want to see me in combat, follow your own advice” because of course, by now he knows about Childe’s combat obsession, like you don’t need to know him that long to figure it out, its kind of obvious. 

- but he recognizes the intention, so he finishes what he’s doing checking what he needs for his future plans before exiting the lab, Childe following behind him, eager to see his future opponent in action

- so albedo goes to a ruin guard/grader/hunter(one of those), because otherwise it’s hilichurls or abyss mages and he knows enough to be able to tell that’s not exactly the kind of opponent Childe meant, and he would prefer not to have the topic brought up again, if he knew how to avoid it.

- so Childe stands back and Albedo, who is well accustomed to having to defeat the enemies in Dragonspine in order to get components for his alchemy knows exactly how to kill this bitch cuz honestly, the number of these guys he’s probably killed for research purposes is astronomical, so it’s done rather quickly and methodically, as if just another part of routine, exactly the way that it had been described when Childe was first asking the Fatui at that one camp about the alchemist.

- And that interest/intrigue that had started in the side of Childe’s mind and grew over time into one of the reasons(tho not the main reason) that he would often go to Dragonspine... it multiplied exponentially

- cue a few more visits and a new turning point occurs

Klee

- Childe comes to visit, and upon arriving at the lab he sees a child

- cue Childe approaching again, amiable grin on is face “and who’s this young lady”       - because it’s literally canon that he’s good with kids

.....

- but Klee isn’t any kid

- and Klee was there for the briefing so she has just as much information on Childe as any of the other higher ranking knights      - and only that much information

- a short time later they’re cleaning up the scattered remains of what was Albedo’s last experiment, lucky that the explosion was set off near the entrance so the damage wasn’t too extensive

- “Please don’t tell Master Jean, Dodocco said he was sorry”

- Cue Childe’s “I’m not a bad guy... okay I’m kind of a bad guy” quote       - “but I mean no harm, I’m a friend of Albedo’s”

- and Albedo’s standing there like when I agree to that but he wants to see how this plays out

- and I’m really unfamiliar with Klee’s characterization, but you get the point Childe is canonically god at kids, he’s gonna learn that Klee’s basically Albedo’s little sister, Klee’s gonna get attached to him and remind him of his siblings back home, Childe’s interaction with Klee is basically what gets Albedo to start actually somewhat trusting Childe as opposed to just using him from a metaphorical distance and subtly helping in ways that wouldnt really negatively impact the knights

- and now that hes no longer actively distrustful his mind is more open to actually becoming attached, as he now begin to recognize that that which he initially believed to be mere manipulation tactics was actually just... Childe being genuine, or as genuine as a person can be in their situation

OKAY OKAY OKAY NOW THAT ALL THAT IS ESTABLISHED I CAN GET INTO THE DYNAMIC 

- so theres the obvious things i already mentioned, like their mutual extreme drive to improve in their respective fields that separates them from others, even within their own respective groups/organizations which already(to an extent) separate their members from most others

now lets talk about this point specifically

- both Childe and Albedo are capable of helping each other grow in their respective fields.

- two things that have the potential to cause Childe trouble and lessen his combat ability and the problems with his delusion and his foul legacy transformation

- these two things are things likely unlike anything that Albedo has been able to study before (tho delusions he might have some experience with- but it’s unlikely) and it would likely be able to expand his knowledge, were he given the opportunity to experiment them, while simultaneously helping childe improve his strength

HOWEVER

- both of them know just how fragile the relationship(whatever it is) between them is, how quickly tensions can shift and orders can change, so in order to protect both the other and themselves they both understand that actually going through with this wouldn’t truly be safe and both sides could get in trouble for it

- because no matter what they do there will always be a constantly present risk hanging over their heads, but ill come back to that

- Dragonspine      - in a lot of Albedo ships, the other character has to go through the effort of going to Dragonspine, which tends to serve as an obstacle for the relationship to be overcome (exception of sucrose and... idk do people ship him with Timeus? just in case, recognizing them both as potential exceptions)       - However, in the case of Childe, who legitimately enjoys coming to Dragonspine, he wouldn’t hesitate to visit Albedo      - with most it becomes “wow, i haven’t seen Albedo in a while, gee, i wish he’d come down the mountain, nonetheless i am a good lover so i shall make the harsh trek to see my beloved”      - with this bitch Childe tho it’s more like “oops, feelin’ homesick, Imma see how Albedo’s doing, hope he’s made progress, wonder if Klee will be there” or “Wow I haven’t seen Albedo in awhile. Finna finish up these fatui duties real quick and head over, if i say im checking on the Fatui stationed there, I dont even have to ask to go on leave” (he gets in trouble for not officially asking for a day off anyways)

-anywho, Childe is largely used to interacting with the Harbingers, who always seem to have some other secret second layered plan of sorts that he’s not always informed about (ex: him being intended to fail when he summoned Osial, but being kept in the dark about it), which conflicts with Childe’s relatively straight forward nature      - Albedo also possesses the potential to be similar, however he doesn’t often see the need for such things, preferring to be frank about his goals and expectations, so unlike with his fellow harbingers, Childe knows that when Albedo tells him something or asks something of him, what he’s being told is usually exactly what actually is true/intended. And if it’s not, Albedo is the kind of person to explain that it’s something he can’t tell him, which he understands, since he has his own share of things he cant share because of his Fatui alignment.

- there is going to be an interaction where at some point Childe is rambling about his family back home, and Albedo questions him about what they look like, a few days later handing him a surprisingly accurate drawing of his siblings      - “I did have to try to check appearance with the traveler but unfortunately they weren’t in Mondstadt, do I do hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies”      - Homeboy doesn’t cry(probably) but he gets really fucking close      - cue socially isolated Alchemist boy misunderstanding and trying to apologize, which Childe responds to by just hugging him- because both of these boys are touch starved and honestly they fucking need it. 

- and now that Childe knows Albedo doesn’t actually have a significant boundary on physical affection, as with most Childe ships... it happens a lot

- headcanon that Childe tends to just lean/rest his head on things like a dog.  - additional headcanon that Albedo tends to have a need to keep his hands busy at all times     - so just cue the scene where Albedo is working on experiments as usual, Childe watching from behind with his head rested on his shoulder and Albedo just absentmindedly playing with his hair with one hand while the other continues with his work

- also talking with Albedo gives Childe a a lot of harmless fun facts and he loves rubbing it in they’re faces when he gets to correct one of the other harbingers on something because of this

- Albedo does also have a tendency to overthink things though, and Childe’s more straight forward mindset gives a new perspective that helps him work around issues more often than he would have expected

- Also Albedo’s love language is totally words of affirmation (i will die on this hill, he doesn’t even realize he does it probably). So he wouldn’t hesitate to sincerely thank or praise Childe whenever he helps or does something good. And Childe is a Fatui, most of the praise he gets is from the subordinates who admire him yes, but also lowkey highkey fear him, and especially after all of Liyue knows he summoned Osial basically, he is pretty damn starved for affirmation and praise and wouldn’t even notice just how much until Albedo gave that to him.      - like Childe is over here melting into a puddle of fluff and Albedo probably wouldn’t even realize what he’s doing, he’s just stating his observations out loud

- Childe and Albedo making a pinkie promise, Childe does the little Snezhnayan chant, and Albedo’s gaze just shifts slowly towards the nearby frozen lake in intense concern

- They go ice fishing with Klee who introduces Childe to fish blasting and it’s a whole new world of possibilities now. Albedo has many regrets.

- the harbingers have all basically figured it out by now and are concerned about security but mostly they just mock him for it      - the Fatui stationed in Dragonspine however, probably know because 1 they’ve seen Childe with Albedo almost every time he visits, and Childe brags about it regularly           - at this point a majority of them ship it and needless to say Albedo’s risk of death via Fatui has gone down significantly, and it’s had a surprisingly positive benefit on relations between the knights and Fatui overall

- the Knights took a bit longer to catch on, since Albedo isn’t exactly in Mondstadt all that often, but it’s the city of freedom, what are they gonna do? say no? again, they are concerned about security risks, but trust Albedo to recognize what should be withheld.

- also its canon that Childe enjoys cooking, and Albedo has a line about like... let me look it up rq- It’s his “Least Favorite Food” line which talks about how he doesn’t eat at restaurants cuz he has a small appetite and doesn’t want to waste food, which is unfortunate cuz then he has to spend time making his own food      - idk its kind of small but i just saw it and thought it was kind of a cute detail

- Childe is a chaotic bean and we love him for it      - on the other hand Albedo is more calm and patient, able to put up with this, and realistically, he has enough experience with Klee to not accidentally put him out or down or otherwise dampen his natural personality...... it’s just when the two of them get together that Albedo experiences true fear.

- Albedo: I have an idea for an experiment but the Jean has suggested that the risk is- - Childe: you should do it! - Albedo: -that the risk is too great and has disallowed me from continuing it - Childe: Oh? well she can’t tell me not to it, now can she?  - Both: *mutual gremlin noises*

anyway... im probs gonna add more to this later.... I’m just really bad at coming up with ship dynamics- so my main point in this is to get people to realize that it possible and that it could work- because there is... nearly 0 material on it- and i just think it has the potential to be so wonderful but I do not have the potential to make it that way. Like it has the potential for so many different dynamics and iconic moments and theres so many reasonable ways they could meet and just so many possibilities and im just really hoping to show the ship to more people because, y’know, it’s rare and i want them to suffer from the lack of content too, because I’m just a kind person like that.

i would have put it under a cut if i could, but i have no idea how to do that so... apologies...

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Drunken Shenanigans

(First off, sorry that this isn’t broken up into parts. I don’t know. Maybe you guys prefer it in one long chunk anyway? Well whatever. I’m too lazy RN but let me know your preference maybe for future stories? Cuz like. Y’all know how long winded I am.)

---------------

FUCK OKAY JUST

FUCKING DO IT WEI YING

ENOUGH PUTTING OFF THINGS.

I want to tell things in order. Or as close as I can remember. But I’m gonna be honest. The fire fucked me up. And I know that each story brings me closer to having to talk about it. 

But I think I have to talk about it. 

So

Let’s see. Drunk Lan Zhan. 

I WANT to talk about that because in retrospect it was fucking hilarous. 

But I haven’t been able to because I’m just all sorts of fucked up right now. 

But I think a way to get me less fucked up is to just start unwinding the pieces.

And honestly, writing helped before so I think it’ll help now. 

It’s just that starting has been difficult. 

So I’m just gonna rip off the bandage. 

I’m just gonna start. 

------------------

So it was Friday. Fuck. Already a month ago?? Jesus I’m late. 

Okay A month ago today. Friday. 

Let me gather my thoughts. 

What was I doing? I think I was at home. Doesn’t really matter. 

I got a text from Lan Zhan. Not completely unusual, but I knew he’d had plans to meet his family earlier. I think I was surprised that he was texting me so early in the evening? I remember expecting to hear from him later..

Er.. no wait I think I was going to text him around 9. To at least check in on him and wish him a good night. But he texted me first. 

I’m scrolling back through my phone. What exactly did he text? I know it was like… wrong right away.

Oh yeah. It was my name 3 times in a row. Or almost. The first two times were mistyped. And then after he got it right he apologized for the misspellings. 

I asked him what was wrong and…. String of martini glass emojis? Oh man he was GONE already wasn’t he?

SO obviously I booked it over there. Remember going through a few different apps to figure out which company would get me there the fastest because I sure as shit wasn’t gonna leave him there alone.

Looking back maybe I should have called someone else? His brother could have gotten there faster. I think I didn’t want him to worry. I figured if this was the state that Lan Zhan was in after meeting with his uncle, then Lan Xichen probably wasn’t in the best state either. 

I should have checked up on him too but I didn’t. I was too worried about Lan Zhan. 

I really should have checked in on him.

Maybe it’s not too late? Who takes care of Lan Xichen when Lan Zhan is fucked up? 

Okay that’s not right. Fucked up isn’t right. Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan has issues, I know he does. After all he is, surprisingly enough, still human. But he manages them so much better than I do. 

I’m fucked up. Not him. 

So let’s rephrase. Who helps Lan Xichen when his little brother is also upset? I know he was, is?, dating Jin GuangYao? Though he doesn’t talk about it much. I’ve met the man in passing a couple times. Doesn’t seem the most comforting.

Though I guess there’s DaGe too. I remember he took pretty good care of him at my birthday. 

Is it wrong to want to make Lan Xichen split up with Jin Guangyao so that I can set him up with DaGe? I just think they’d be cute together. 

Ah not that I’m in any place to do that. See above; I’m fucked up. I should untangle my own love life before I try to poke holes in someone else’s. 

And… maybe I shouldn’t be talking about these things on my blog?

Ah fuck it. I’ve said more personal stuff here already and none of you know anyone I’m talking about anyway except Ghosty and… Idk. I trust Ghosty. 

Can’t help it. I just trust them. 

Anyway

Anywaaaaayyyyy where was I?

Fuck these tangents. Are they worse than before? Or have I always been like this? I should re-read my old posts but somehow I’m scared to. I don’t want to look at where I was right now. I feel like so much has happened… am I even that person?

I don’t know why looking back scares me. Probably old defense mechanisms. Probably why I can’t remember anything before I was 10 too. Mmm. I should look back. I don’t want to forget.

But I think I’m afraid that I’ll… I don’t know… Either miss or hate who I was. If I miss who I was what will I do? I can’t go back to it. You can’t go back to what you were. 

But if I hate who I was…. Well I hate who I am so I guess there isn’t much difference….

Shelf that.

Fuck. My complaining about going off on tangents became a tangent. 

Where Was I???

Okay. So I carted my ass over to Lan Zhan’s, thinking not for the first time that maybe I should just fucking learn how to drive???????????

But whatever. I got there pretty quick. 

I knocked on the door, heard some concerning bangs and then silence. 

Knocked again and called out his name. 

Think I heard him again… swearing????? But it was muffled so I can’t be sure. 

Shame.

Haha

So I decided to do what he told me to do before and just use my damn key. 

I mean… it’s not breaking and entering right? And besides. He texted me. That… meant he wanted to see me right? At the very least even if he didn’t it was for his sake. Totally not at all because I was curious what he’s like when he’s drunk. 

Nope. Not a factor. Purely just wanted to make sure he was okay. Absolutely innocent. 

(You know that’s a lie. I REALLY wanted to see what he’s like when he’s drunk. But I DID also want to make sure he was okay. So really, win win. Or… True neutral in intent? IDK but I think they cancel each other out.)

So I very carefully opened the door and peered inside to find…. An empty apartment. 

The lights were off in the entry way, but I could see something down the hall and around the corner. Turns out that he was in the living room with a lamp and a bit of a mess. 

He’d knocked over the bottle of wine when I knocked. Apparently I startled him? And then when I knocked again… ???

I’m not sure. 

But he was somehow tangled in his own pant legs? They were comfy pants and a bit flowy and his foot got stuck in the other leg? I don’t know how it happened and clearly neither did he. And he’d toppled over and… apparently had given up. 

So clearly my coming over was the correct call. 

(Sorry Lan Zhan. I know you’ll never read this and never know but… this was just too precious to keep to myself. I promise I won’t embarrass you TOO much but there needs to be a documentation of your drunken hijinks. SangSang please don’t tell him. ;w;)

So about this point. I decided that instead of helping him, I was going to call out to you guys to ask for help.

I don’t know why? I was panicking. 

So I posted Help. 

And then went to untangle him. 

Managed to fix his pants (don’t think too hard about that one) and get him sitting properly. He just kinda blinked slowly at me and kept silent the entire time. ????

Like okay looking at his face you’d never know the guy was trashed. But the guy was TRASHED. 

I asked him how much he’d had and he just held up a finger. 

One.

One what??

A glass? A bottle? A keg?

I looked over at the jug that had tipped over and tried to gauge how much he’d had. I don’t know if the bottle had been full or not when he started. I don’t think I’d left any half-empty? But he may have shared with another guest? I wouldn’t have been surprised if he kept some on hand for SangSang too. Not just me. It’s good wine.

Well either way. With how much was now spilled on the table and floor, and how much was in the bottle… I’m guessing… he had no idea and was bullshitting me how much he’d had. 

So there’s that. 

He had enough alcohol for one drunk. Got it. 

Well didn’t matter. Either way he was sloshed. I suppose this is karma (I know that’s not how karma works) for when I got drunk off my ass in front of him before. Ah well. 

You know… speaking of karma…. Like what kind of fucked up karma do I have? Like I must have just been a DEMON in my previous life. What the fuck did I do? Massacre a ton of people? Raise the dead? FUCK. Well whatever I did. Thanks a lot past life me. You’re a DICK.

Anyway.

I went to get a cloth to mop up the mess. While I was wiping everything down he disappeared.

I posted on my blog again because I have shit priorities, and then went to find him. 

He was in the kitchen. After turning on every single light. His head was completely in the fridge. 

I called out to him, because what the fuck? And he stood up and blinked at me again. Except now he was holding a package of skinless chicken breast??? For some reason?????

Why did he even have that Probably was planning to make it for me the next day since that was our Saturdate. He doesn’t eat much meat so it wouldn’t make sense for him to have so much. 

But okay

Like

He just held it out to me and said my name. 

???????

Just.. standing in the kitchen with ALL the lights on with the fridge hanging open offering me skinless chicken breast in its neat little vacuum sealed packaging. 

So uh…  Like what do you do with that?

I asked him what he was doing and he just pushed the package at me, asking if it was good? 

I mean they looked fine. Lan Zhan always buys good stuff. And this stuff was clearly bought fresh and then wrapped up by himself. He’s got a vacuum sealer thing. So like it’s not even stuff from the grocery store? He probably got it from a humane butcher. Because he does his research on EVERYTHING. 

So like… yeah?? They were good? And I like chicken. 

So I just kinda nodded and said yeah they’re good. And so he pushed the meat at me again and said it was all for me? 

So um.. I don’t know if he was asking me to cook it? I asked him if he wanted me to cook it and he looked confused. 

And fair. I mean I was confused too. No one wants me to cook. Everyone always complains. They just don’t appreciate the culinary genius that is me. 

But Lan Zhan looked at me, then the chicken, and seemed to be in the deepest thought. 

“Let’s put this in the fridge and we can eat it tomorrow, yeah?” I suggested, trying to take the meat from him and edge to the fridge at the same time. 

Apparently this was incorrect as he yanked it away from me and started towards the stove?????

I got to him just in time to stop him from turning it on. 

Like okay Lan Zhan is an amazing chef. And he’s got a NICE kitchen. But the stove is a gas one. You know the one with open flame? And like 

THe man had just dumped have a container of Emperor’s Smile on himself???

Like fuck. So I think I screamed. 

Because Fuck. No. Lan Zhan was NOT going to cook for me while drunk off his ass. 

I remember lunging at him and like pulling all the knobs off of the stove so he couldn’t turn it on. He glared at me with this.. this …. POUT. omg it was adorable. 

But NOT adorable enough for me to give him back the stove knobs. He tried to grab them but I put them in my pocket.

And then he tried to grab them again which is danger zone no no for SO MANY REASONS ;asldkfjsa;lkfaslkfjsd;lkfjas;dkfj;lafkjk

So I took his hands 

And put on my best most adorable pleading expression and asked him to please let us have it tomorrow? Because I really wanted to eat it tomorrow. He stared at me again, binked, then slowly nodded and put the chicken… in the cupboard. 

So I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or something instead. He didn’t answer (How is drunk Lan Zhan even more quiet than sober Lan Zhan? How is it possible?) but he didn’t like protest or anything. 

So I asked him if he wanted to pick something out and I’d come in in just a minute for him to surprise me with whatever he selected. 

He nodded at that. Mumbled something that sounded like “for Wei Ying.” or something and stumbled off. 

I took a moment to breathe and update the blog again before putting the chicken in the fridge. Contemplated hiding the knives and stove knobs somewhere where Lan Zhan couldn’t get to them, but that seemed a bit much. So I put the knobs back on and went to see what Lan Zhan was doing. 

He was….

Drinking….

More….

Again.

So I updated my blog again????? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Well I did stop him again.  I grabbed the bottle and just took it. Downed the whole jar so that he couldn’t have any more. 

Maybe not the best option? But I had eaten dinner for once and I’m actually not a lightweight. (That one time was a fluke. Like it seriously was) so it was fine. Not like I was driving home anyway.

And besides maybe it’d help me get on his level? IDK. It was stupid but then so am I. And it was just a shame to dump it all out so down the hatch it went. 

It was at this point that I realized that Lan Zhan was still wearing the clothes he’d spilled all over. I suggested he go change into something clean. He seemed to find logic in this and stumbled off to his room.

Did NOT shut the door but that’s okay. It was down the hall and I couldn’t really… SEE anything unless I went further into the hall myself. 

Tempting but I was a good boy and resisted. 

Thats when things got quiet… too quiet (see post I’d made about it being quiet). 

I went to go check on him to find that he was stripped to his boxers, with his pants around his ankles. He was looking in his closet, probably trying to find out what suit to wear???

But when I entered he stumbled back, slammed the door shut and toppled feet over head to the floor!!

Man he’s jumpy when he’s drunk. 

I helped him to rights and was actually so distracted that I didn’t realize that he was practically naked for like 2 whole seconds!!

(I’m pretty sure Lan Zhan isn’t a mortal, no matter what I said earlier in this very post about him being a human. No human being has the right to be that fucking cut??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

It is NOT fair. 

FUck. )

WELL being a responsible and reasonable adult (lol) I decided I would help this drunk toddler of a man get dressed. I dug through his pajama drawer and pulled out something soft and fluffy. Hoped that it’d be more appealing to him if it was super super comfy. Started to hand it to him, but then figured fuck it. Probably better to just do it myself. 

Managed to keep my eyes and hands to myself as I helped him. Very proud.

He let me do this without complaint. He was very good. He lifted his arms up when I told him to and his legs. Ended up putting my face WAY too close to his hips but I looked at the wall the entire time so it was fine.

Fine. It was fine. We’re fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. 

Fuck I’m a mess. 

Okay what happened next. He was good. Sat like a good boy. Got him dressed (thank you A-Yuan for giving me practice? Did not think this was a life skill i’d be needing now that you’re growing up and can do your own buttons but guess life likes to throw them curve balls. Either way. A-Yuan m’boy. I owe you a solid.)

(Also do NOT miss changing your diaper. Fuck) 

ANyway

NO TANGENTS. (that’s a lie. There will be more tangents. Whatever.)

SO Lan Zhan was dressed like a human again. Somehow even drunk of his ass he looks like some sort of adonis. Not fair.

Uh.

Oh yeah. I got up and was gonna step away and he grabbed me. 

Not like hard? But really firm. Grabbed my arm and said “no.”

No what? No to the pajamas? No to the bunny slippers? No????

I asked him what he was saying no to and he just said no again and pulled me closer. 

“Lan Zhan Lan Zhan” I chided, “You’re being unreasonable. I got you all dressed and you were being so good but now I try to get up and you say no and stop me? What are you wanting? Do you not like these pajamas? Do you want me to dress you in something else?”

I remembered him looking at the closet and decided to be a little shit. I was gonna pretend I was gonna grab one if his suits to dress him in that instead. (No way I was going through that effort. Just wanted to prove a point that the PJ’s were much more comfy.)”

“Alright. Why don’t we change into something else? I know you like wearing suits. Or well, /I/ like when you wear suits. So let’s go get one.”

He started to relax his grip and I got up again, but then 2 steps to the closet he seemed to panic and grabbed me again. 

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and sat back down on the bed with me mostly in his lap?????

Okay Trying to keep myself pure here. I’m a good boy. Who was not going to take advantage of my best friend while he was drunk off his ass.  Good boy. Think of ANYTHING else but being in his lap. 

And of course. THis meant. I had to run my mouth. 

“OH? So you DON’T want a suit? Well then you should just be happy in those pajamas. As nice as you look in a suit I think they’re much more comfortable. The pajamas that is. Unless you’d rather be naked. But that--”

Anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

He covered my mouth. 

I tried to twist to look at him but he wouldn’t let me. 

I tried to protest against his hand but he wouldn’t let go. 

So I examined my options and decided the only course was to lick him.

So I did. 

Because I have had a brother and that always got me out when Jiang Cheng actually managed to pin me.

Worked like a charm this time too. Lan Zhan dropped me like I was made of fire. 

Maybe I should have been offended???? But I was too busy laughing. 

He stared at his hand in what had to be horror. I calmed down enough to offer to wipe it off for him but he just pulled it in to his chest protectively. 

“Oh come one. I’m not gonna lick it again! I said wipe it off! Clean it. Fuck I’ll wash ‘em with soap if you want. Dear goodness it’s not like I’ve got fucking cooties or something.”

He stared at his hand again and pouted, seemingly not sure what he wanted to do. 

I reached out gently again and he pulled away again.  Clearly not down for touching anymore. 

So I huffed and said fine. 

“You just go to bed or something then. I’ll leave you alone if you’re just gonna get all grumpy at me.”

So I started to leave. And he tried to grab me again???????????????????????????????????

Does he want to be touched or not? Or maybe he just wanted to do the touching now that I look back on it.

Well at the time I just kinda leapt out of the way and complained he wasn’t being fair changing his mind about what he wanted every 2 seconds. Quite unreasonable.

And somehow….

This ended with us chasing each other around the house??? 

Admittedly that part’s a bit of a blur. It started with him chasing me and then somehow we switched and I ended up chasing him?

Oh yeah. I think I thought he was going back to the kitchen or something and I panicked and tackled him onto the couch. That’s when I sat on him to keep him there and posted about it again while I caught my breath. 

He just let himself lay face down on the couch, his face pressed into the pillow completely. Both a blessing and a curse because I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. I dont’ know what I would have done if he’d pouted at me again. Licked him again?? But a curse because that meant all I had to focus on was how thicc his ass was. Like I was sitting on it. 

And it is a COMFY perch. Gotta say. Like fuck. This man is perfect in every way. 

NOT. THE. POINT.

KEEP MIND. AWAY FROM THAT. YOU DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. ESPECIALLY THINKING ABOUT THINGS THIS WAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AS HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. 

(DON’T @ ME WE JUST SHARE A BED. OKAY? IT MAKES US BOTH FEEL BETTER AND IT’S FINE. IT’S FINE. WE’RE FINE. I’M FINE. IT’S FINE. I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MORE LATER BUT JUST.. IT’S FINE OKAY? IT’S FINE. TRUST ME. COMPLETELY NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT IT. IT’S OKAY TO CUDDLE YOUR BROS. I MEAN IT’S A BIT COMPLICATED SEEING AS I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT WE BOTH AGREED THAT THE KISS MEANT NOTHING SO WE’RE FINE. 

FUCK.. okay I’ll get back to this in a minute because I made myself cry again. 

Hold on. 

Okay I’m back. And I’m actually fine now. Just a little bit of heartache. It flares up if I think about it so I just don’t think about it. 

So sometimes when it sneaks up on me like that it just causes a little bit of a panic. We’re fine though. It’s passed and we’re fine. 

Where was I? Where was I…. um… oh yeah. Sitting on that juicy ass--- um.. Sitting on Lan Zhan to keep him on the couch where it was safe and cushioned. 

It worked for a bit. But apparently only because he wanted it to. 

Somehow I forgot that the man can bench a fucking truck? So he just did a push up with me on his back while on the couch (Have you tried to do pushups on a cushioned surface? Please do not do this. Make sure you exercise on sturdy, solid surfaces or you will roll your wrists or something and I will not be held responsible for unsafe workout practices.)

SO Lan Zhan just pushed both of us up and I tumbled right off like I was made of fucking feathers. 

No idea what he was planning to do. 

At first he seemed worried about me because I tumbled. Which I think broke his train of thought away from what he’d originally planned? Or did he even have a plan to begin with? 

FUck who knows. Not me!

Well anyway

I had a bold stroke of genius. Because how does Lan Zhan get me to stay put?

So I told him to sit and wait because I had a surprise for him and that I’d be really sad if he didn’t do it. 

So he immediately assumed the lotus position and closed his eyes. Coulda been a fucking statue. 

I stared for a second but then remembered he was drunk as FUCK and I had no time. So I rushed off and grabbed Bichen and Suibian so I could dump ‘em in his lap. 

Fucking worked like a charm. Suibian didn’t stay too long because she always prefers my lap (aaaaaaaaaaaah my heart) but Bichen will always stay put when plopped on Lan Zhan’s lap. (I feel ya, li’l buddy. If I could get away with it I’d live there too).

Told him that he needed to be nice and calm for the bunnies and he nodded so seriously. He started to pet Bichen so carefully it was so sweet. The little bun flopped over right away. She loves her Lan Zhan so much. (Same)

Decided to try and get him to talk to me once he’d been quiet for a little while. I asked him what started all this anyway. 

At first he said that he wanted to learn to be more tolerant to alcohol so that he could drink with me

Which is so fucking sweet but does not explain why he went so hard into it. 

And I knew he’d seen his uncle earlier that day. So I pressed. 

I won’t tell you all that he told me. But yeah. Family is complicated man. 

But that part of the story.. That’s his story. I’m not sure if he even wants ME to know about it, so I’m definitely not telling you guys. Sorry. But please try to understand. 

We talked for a long while and eventually he ended up falling asleep. I very carefully moved the bunnies to their pen, then picked him up and carried him off to bed too. 

There’s something surreal about princess carrying Lan Zhan. Not gonna lie. 

I wasn’t willing to leave him alone in case he woke up again so I just climbed into bed with him. Wrapped him up in my arms to make sure I’d wake up if he tried to leave (hopefully).

But he slept through the night. 

It wasn’t until morning that he lurched out of bed and booked it to the bathroom. Poor guy.

I will never try to get him to drink again. With mornings that awful it’s just not worth it. Though admittedly he’d probably do okay if he just didn’t drink as MUCH as he did. Make I’ll get him a Mikes Hard? I know from talking to him since then that the wanting to be able to share a drink with me was genuine even if it wasn’t the only reason he was drinking. So maybe we can ease him into it. I mean Mikes hards are so weak that they may as well be virgin drinks so that should be safe? 

I’ll talk to him about it later. 

Anyway. I took care of him all morning and he was so miserable. (Even got to carry him again. He was so worn out he barely protested). 

I brought him back to bed with some aspirin and some water. I should have made him drink some the previous night but I guess with how crazy that night was maybe I can be forgiven for that at least. 

I gave him some kisses on his face because at that point it was our thing??? (Because… what were we??? Well now we’re back to just friends I think. After… after the kiss that meant nothing.)

Fuck.

Okay don’t think about it. We were… we were something… but now we’re just friends. And that’s just… how it is. Because i fucked up. Because of course I fucked up. 

I let him take a nap and watched something trashy on TV. Eventually he shlumped out of bed (as much as Lan Zhan ever schlumps which is not a lot) and crashed onto the couch next to me. 

We talked some more and he tried to apologize to me. I wasn’t gonna hear it. I got a bit of a more sober re-telling of the reason he was drinking and I did my part to listen. 

Despite how much I talk, I can actually listen if the occasion calls for it! Surprising, I know. 

We went to bed again eventually after watching more garbage TV together. 

And uh.. Yeah…

That’s the adventures of Drunk Lan Zhan. 

Sorry I know some of the details are probably wrong. It’s been a while and a lot happened. But yeah. That’s more or less it. 

[natsunoomoi]

Holy crap. So like with the previous post I was thinking about Fushigi Yuugi again and kind of checking up on what was up with Byakko Senki cuz I haven’t checked on it in awhile and it looks like it’s on hiatus right now and she’s working more on Arata Kangatari, which is cool cuz I thought she finished that, but I guess not and she just took a break to like finish Genbu and do Byakko or something.

But also I was scrolling through her Twitter to find that she is really into this Chinese movie “Legend of Luo Xiaohei” and so I was checking that out cuz so ironic that Japanese mangaka that got her big break writing manga about an ancient China setting is interested in a Chinese movie. So just looking through her Twitter thread and apparently she found out about Luo Xiaohei from watching a CM while watching Modao Zushi. LMAO It’s amazing, but this situation just feels like an ouroboros eating itself because I have a high suspicion that her work on Fushigi Yuugi imported into China back in the 90s was probably a huge influence on Chinese creators and artists to write their own stories about their culture and helped to popularize the xianxia and wuxia novel movements in more modern times. On top of that MXTX said she was inspired by a D. Gray-man fanfic and while she mentioned that title specifically, I think in the periphery Fushigi Yuugi itself and more recently Arata were probably an influence too. Growing up a number of my Chinese friends also said they got into anime overall because of Fushigi Yuugi because it was an anime and work from Japan about their culture and arguably done pretty damn well. 

In terms of the danmei movement as well, I’m pretty sure Fushigi Yuugi was included in what started the movement as the movement was influenced by Japanese BL that came in via Taiwan, and the beginning of Fushigi Yuugi had the whole thing between Nuriko and Hotohori even though that kind of went nowhere, Nuriko dies to everyone’s depression (I have several friends who refuse to watch the rest of the series after Nuriko dies because it’s not the same), and that whole ship goes off a weird deep end with Hotohori marrying a woman that looks like Nuriko. Also, the exact reasons for Nuriko being in the harem and all that. There was a whole lot of shipping in the 90s from Fushigi Yuugi and it was one of the first series that had a male cast that was almost entirely ikemen and I think the actual first reverse harem. A number of shows probably simultaneously popularized the female gaze in mainstream anime, but Fushigi Yuugi was definitely one of them. Like literally one or two years before there was a lot of manly men and guy’s guys kind of anime characters, but beautiful ikemen, no, not really. In 2021, there are some things about the series that are a bit problematic, but it’s influence on the world is pretty significant. It was one of the first shows I’d seen that had any kind of reference to homosexuality or transgender in it and although it’s not necessarily portrayed well, the fact that it was there and that Nuriko was such a beloved character it started a conversation and helped us to get to a time where the topics she represents can be more discussed. I’m actually not even sure what pronouns would be appropriate for Nuriko because of her reasons for what she did and in Japanese the pronoun problem is actually really easy to get around because you just don’t have a subject or speaking in 3rd person is totally normal. But still, without her the minds of thousands or even millions of fans around the world would not have been opened as early to LGBT topics. Her existence, even problematic as it might be, allowed people to consider and love a character of a different sexual orientation or gender identity than their own and just open their minds to just not being a homophobic, biphobic (cuz relationship with Miaka?), or transphobic piece of shit.

Then also Genbu Kaiden and Uruki’s powers. Yeah.... I mean, also kind of with the earlier discussion, the idea of dual cultivation I don’t recall even being brought up much before in most media, but such ideas were also banned and repressed in China at a certain point. Documentation shows it was more of an ancient practice that suddenly became known about again. The book I was talking about that has it more explicitly written is banned in China has its only original surviving copy in the Japanese National Library as it was one of the books brought to Japan by scholars escaping persecution in China and bringing with them books to escape one of the many episodes of mass book burning. According to my Chinese lit professor who had us read an English translation of that book as a part of our curriculum anyway. Supposedly the translator of said book had to go to Japan to read the original in order to write the translation. There’s apparently a number of ancient Chinese texts like that because book burnings were a thing at different points in Chinese history, so if you are a scholar of Chinese lit if you want a complete picture of your field for some texts you do actually have to come to Japan to do your research. But yeah, that power mentioned in that very book Watase-sensei gave to Soi, and also the story of Fushigi Yuugi takes place in that very library that contains that ancient copy of a banned and would have been lost to the world book. If you’re asking why a “dirty” book would be something a scholar would grab to save, ancient lit scholars do regard it as a rather well-written piece of literature even though the content of it is basically taboo.

But also the Fushigi Yuugi Suzaku Ibun game is a hot mess when it comes to this same issue because if you romance Nuriko you can save her from death and my friend Hikari said she wasn’t sure if she was happy about fucking with the universe like that. (I’m not either.) Nuriko’s death was such a huge impact on the story and everything. Also, notably, most of the Suzaku Shichiseishi died, but Nuriko had the LONGEST tribute. Like Chiriko and Mitsukake’s was like a tag on of a few minutes. Hotohori’s was too even, but it was addressed more in the later manga chapters the publisher pressured her to write and in the OVA series afterward.

Also, like Fushigi Yuugi other than the Neverending Story was one of the original sucked into a book holy shit how do I survive stories. Idk if SVSSS is influenced by it in that way, but it’s fair to draw the parallels because of the similar theme. It’s just canonically Taiitsu Shinjin is not behind the the system in the book and in a number of ways Shen Yuan is more competent than Miaka. Miaka gets a lot of shit though and when I re-watched FY a second time I actually found the gripes people generally have about it make up only a small part of the series. People just talk it up so much that it seems like a huge thing when it’s not. Plus the technical canon is only the original TV series because that’s where Watase wanted to end the story and that is an emotional rollercoaster that makes you cry so good. But like there’s some other kinds of parallels as well like how toward the end and like the last two episodes you hate Nakago up until the exact moment you find out why he’s an absolute asshole, and characters straight up criticizing him about how he’s an asshole the whole damn series just gives the same kind of feels that SY gave criticizing the original throughout SVSSS. Can’t say for sure, but Fushigi Yuugi has a lot of clout in a general sense.

But yeah, Watase-sensei said that she was really surprised by the animation quality of Chinese animation these days and she thought Japanese anime was going down in comparison. Same, yo. Same. But still, her work was probably a huge contributor to the movement that allowed MDZS to exist because her art is damn beautiful, Chinese influenced, and she had one of the first works in Asia to like bring the subject of LGBT issues into the mainstream after years of oppression from mostly Western influence because in pre-modern Asia no one gave a shit before and there’s a significant amount of classical novels that address some form of LGBT issues at least in Japanese lit and like even academic documentation that notes Confucius saying that doing it with a guy was better than with a woman. And the author of the work that probably was very influential to BL back in the 90s watches MDZS. She noted that there wasn’t any in the actual anime, which is true, but I think she helped that series to exist and she watches the anime so it’s kind of exciting.

I hope it influences her to go finish Byakko, but OMG I want her to finish Arata too because I like Arata. I should try to find time to read more of it because the anime is too short and the wiki descriptions of what’s happening are so damn confusing and incomplete.

[hyunjin-bun]

The  Good Mistake {Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma}

synopsis: Where Akaashi and Bokuto have to come to terms with how they feel and Kuroo and Kenma have to discover their feelings.

pairings: Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma

genre: FLUFF! (or at least trying to be) crack (but like it wasn’t supposed to be that’s just what happened) mutual pining some light angst here and there.

warnings: Swearing if there are anymore you think i should add just dm me.

note: oh my god guys. Idk what to tell you just that this chapter is MASSIVE. Its over 4k words😲 and not my intention but i just couldn't find it in my heart to split this one up. Uhm so its the second last chapter and I’m honestly really proud of this one so hopefully ya’ll like it👀

If you’d like to be tagged just send me an ask (or a message if you feel to awkward with asks cos same👀💛) Enjoy!💕

I Missed You

Kuroo woke up with a start as his alarm on his phone blared. It was Monday and time to get ready for work. Turning around to switch his alarm off he remembered Kenma breaking down in his arms last night. And looked back to his other side and saw Kenma right where he’d left him. His eyes, although closed, were still puffy around the edges.  Otherwise, he seemed peaceful.

It made Kuroo’s heartbreak because he knew how important last night was for both of them but he wouldn’t be able to spend the day with Kenma. He didn’t want to wake him up but also didn’t want to leave without a word. He carefully untangled himself and walked towards Kenma’s pc, which was still on. He opened a new document and typed out a note knowing Kenma would go to his computer first.

I don’t know when you’ll wake up but I will most likely be at work when you do, and I felt that leaving without saying anything would be wrong. But Kozume, I will try to get home as soon as possible this evening because I really feel that I need to talk to you. So be ready at about six and we can go out tonight like we used to. See you then.

,Tetsurou  <3

After finishing the note, he got up, grabbed his phone, and closed the room as quietly as possible.

Only to walk straight into Bokuto. “Jesus Bo,” he whispered harshly while reeling back slightly. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes rubbing the sleep off his face. “Wow, I’m sorry I have to go to practice early. Where you with Kenma the whole night, what happened?” Bokuto said with a questioning look.

He wouldn’t have been so curious if Kuroo hadn’t confided in him all the emotions he had been feeling for Kenma that one night the both of them got unnecessarily drunk and the other two boys had gone to bed early. “No no nothing happened we just haven’t spent a lot of time with each other recently so we watched some movies and caught up that’s all,” he said as he walked passed Bokuto to go get ready in his room.

Bokuto caught put his hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving further, “Look Kuroo, I have a feeling that you should say something to Kenma. I’m sure you’re scared of what it would entail between the two of you but you gotta take that leap bro.” Kuroo looked back at him and nodded slowly, “Thanks Bo, I’m thinking about it.” He started walking away as he remembered what he would be doing that evening. “Oh and I’ll be taking Kenma out tonight after work so we probably won't be home until quite late.”

Bokuto smiled at that, “That’s great dude! Okay well, I’m taking Keiji out for dinner tonight so we’ll probably be leaving the house after you fetch Kenma.” Kuroo nodded thanks and went to take a quick shower. He then grabbed his bag as well as all the documents he needed and left for work hoping that his day wouldn’t be too long.

<----->

The sun was fully up and shining intensely through his window when Kenma woke up. The air around him felt empty as he noticed the absence of Kuroo. He sat up as he remembered it was Monday so he probably woke up early to leave for work. He flopped back down onto his bed breathing in the scent of Kuroo mixing with his. It was intoxicating and sweet and he instantly missed the warmth that was next to him not so long ago.

His eyes felt heavy and he had a slight headache.  It had been an exhausting evening the night before trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid with Kuroo but he broke in the end and nearly fucked it up. After touching Kuroo’s face causing him to wake up, he panicked and just broke down, but even then, as he was falling apart, Kuroo held him and it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle that made up Kenma were glued together. He felt safe in Kuroo’s arms. Safer than he’d ever felt.

Deciding that maybe taking a shower would help with the slight headache and the puffiness of his face he got up slowly. He looked toward his pc and noticed a document open. He didn’t remember opening one the night before so he went towards it and noticed a short paragraph, it was from Kuroo.

He read the note over and over again and kept freezing at the heart Kuroo put after his name. He wanted Kenma to be ready at six so they could go out and talk. What could Kuroo possible want to talk about tonight?

Kenma started to get worried and figured Kuroo had realised what the problem was and was just trying to find a way to let him down easily. The time was 12 pm so he had a few more hours to psyche himself up for what was going to happen. 

<----->

The day moved agonizingly slow for Kuroo, but finally, after he finished some filing his boss said it was okay for him to go at ten to six. Kuroo groaned in frustration as he got into his car. It took 15 minutes to get back to their apartment, that’s if he was lucky and there was no traffic. As he got onto the highway he switched his radio on to have some music in the background to calm his nerves at least a little. He thanked his lucky stars as he saw there was no traffic.

He looked at his watch and noticed he was five minutes late already so opting to not make Kenma wait any longer than he had to he decided against going inside to change. He loosened his tie and threw it into the back of his car and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt which helped cool him down while his heart raced a mile a minute.

He pulled up in front of their apartment building but there was no sign of Kenma. He hadn’t messaged him or gotten confirmation if he even wanted to go or not so he decided to send him a message.

Kuroo: Hey, I’m waiting outside. Do you wanna go out tonight? It's okay if you don’t

His palms started sweating as he expected Kenma to say no. He sighed with relief as a notification popped up.

Kenma: I do, I’m coming.

His response was short and simple but it made Kuroo’s stomach burst with butterflies. He smiled and couldn’t stop. He put his phone into the console and got out to stretch his legs for a couple of seconds and take off his blazer.

He heard the buzzer of the door to the building and looked up to see Kenma stumbling down the steps towards the car.

Kenma looked up at him looking almost defensive. Kuroo smiled at him hoping to ease him up a bit, “You ready to go Kenma?” Kenma looked at him almost annoyed, “I’ve been waiting since six so I guess so.” He said as he opened the car door and Kuroo laughed at the playful rudeness.

Kenma hopped into the passenger seat and Kuroo got into the drivers. “Okay so, what do you wanna do first?” he said as he buckled his seat belt.

“I thought you had something already planned,” Kenma looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, I don’t I kinda just wanted to do things you want to I guess,” Kuroo said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Kenma sighed as he put his legs up on the dash, “Okay well, I’m kind of hungry I guess.” Kuroo praised his choice because he was practically starving; the last time he ate was a quick sandwich he bought from the café down the road from his work.

Starting the car, he drove to their favourite restaurant, which was not very far from where they stayed.  As they got out of the car it gave Kuroo a moment to notice Kenma’s appearance, he was wearing an obnoxiously bright yellow hoodie and black sweatpants. His hear was tied back in a low messy bun. Some strands of hair were too short to fit so they just hung loosely and almost angelically framed his face.

It was a bit chilly out so Kuroo grabbed the spare sweater he kept in his car. Now he looked somewhat less formal.

Kenma shivered as the walked up the path to the restaurant. He almost thought that the air around them would be awkward and uncomfortable but as per usual with Kuroo he somehow managed to put Kenma at ease. Every time.

This time it was the smile he got from Kuroo as he walked to the car earlier. It relieved some of the anxiety that had started to build up in the pit of his stomach. They got a booth almost at the back of the restaurant and Kenma couldn’t help but feel like he was on a date with Kuroo but he knew it was anything but that.

It felt very private sitting where they were sitting. Kenma liked it like this. He watched as Kuroo sat down and opened the menu to pick something. Kenma mirrored him even though he knew what he’d be getting. They ordered their drinks and food at the same time and the waiter left.

Kuroo put his elbows up on the table and balanced one hand under his chin looking at Kenma, “You wanna talk about what happened last night or not now?” Kenma placed his hand on the table trying to seem more open. He didn’t want Kuroo to think he’d keep being defensive. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to talk yet Tetsu.”

Kuroo huffed out a small chuckle and smiled at him, “That’s okay we can build up to it, what did you do today?” Kenma started to relax as he recounted probably his most boring day ever. He wasn’t really in the mood to stream because he knows his fans would have noticed how anxious he was and he wasn’t up to answering the questions they would throw at him so he’d basically sat and played games.

Kuroo looked almost sympathetic, “Why didn’t you feel up to streaming?” Kenma shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess it’s the same reason for last night.” Kuroo nodded and was about to say something when the waiter arrived with their order. While eating he listened carefully as Kuroo told him about how boring his day was too and how it went by so slowly because he was looking forward to tonight. This surprised Kenma. What was Kuroo so excited about?

He decided asking won't kill anyone except maybe his will to live. “Wha-Kenma why wouldn’t I be excited? We haven’t hung out like this in a long time and well,” he paused and couldn’t help the blood rush up to his cheeks, “Well I missed you Kenma.”

Kenma was taken aback at how forward Kuroo was being. Of course, they’d been forward with each other in the past about certain small things but never about each other. He felt a glimmer of hope in his heart at this.

Kuroo was worried if he’d said too much because of the look of surprise on Kenma’s face. Kenma looked down at his food and mumbled just loud enough for Kuroo to hear, “Well I’ve missed you too.”

Kenma looked back up to see Kuroo practically beaming, and Kenma couldn’t help but smile at him in return as his ears burned. They continued to eat in comfortable silence.

Kenma was nearly finished with his sushi when Kuroo asked what he wanted to do next. “Mmn no I chose the first thing, it's your turn now,” Kenma said after gulping the last bit of food down. Kuroo just smiled at him, “okay fine.” He didn’t say anymore and asked for the bill.

After paying they went to the car and Kenma stopped before opening the door. “Okay, where are we going Tetsu?” The man supported a mischievous grin on his face while shaking his head, “You’ll have to see when we get there Kenma.”

Kuroo drove for about 10 minutes and suddenly they were in the heart of the city. He parallel parked on the side of the street and looked at Kenma “You ready?” “Kuroo I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be ready for,” Kenma said incredulously. “Come on then,” Kuroo said as he stepped out of the car.

Kenma followed suit and shuffled closer to Kuroo when he walked around the car. It was busy in the city. Not as busy as it would be on a weekend but close enough. “Hold my hand so you don’t lose me?” Kuroo said, observing the fact that Kenma was becoming reserved at the sight of all the people walking around.

Kenma looked up at Kuroo with his eyes wide, “uh-uhm, you want to hold my hand?” he said as his face gradually got hotter. “Well yeah so I don’t lose you in the crowd,” he noted as he held out his hand for Kenma to take. Kenma hesitated long enough for Kuroo to think it was too much but Kenma took his hand. Holding Kuroo’s hand is everything he felt it would be and more. His hands were surprisingly soft and of course bigger than his.

Kuroo tried his hardest to hide the blush that had wound its way to his cheeks when Kenma took his hand. He had to remind himself that he used the excuse of not losing Kenma in the crowd of people and that they aren’t just like all the other couples he’d noticed walking around.

He led Kenma down one of the many alleys and stopped in front of a shop with lots of bright colours and lights. It was a game store he was told about by one of his colleagues at work and instantly thought about taking Kenma there. He wanted to do it for their first date but obviously, he hadn’t asked Kenma out.

He looked down at Kenma expectantly and his breath hitched when he saw how the lights reflected against his skin and how the lights made his eyes seem especially bright. “Tetsu how did you find out about this place it's beautiful,” Kenma said looking through the window at all the shelves and things on the walls.

“Beautiful,” He mumbled still looking at Kenma. Kenma turned to look at Kuroo, “What?” The sudden eye contact threw Kuroo out of his trance and he looked dowm, “Uh, yeah so one of my colleagues who is like 70 years old was telling me about his grandkids favourite store and its uh, this one.” Kenma just nodded and looked back through the window, “Well can we go in?”

Kuroo laughed and looked into the store too, “No of course not I just felt like making you look into your version of heaven and then drag your ass back home, seriously Kenma, of course we can.” Kenma gave him a small smile and pulled him into the store.

Stepping into the store was a big relief to Kenma because he was able to get out of the crowded and loud streets. There weren’t a lot of people inside the store maybe about 7 including him and Kuroo. The walls and ceiling were black and they had blue and red lights on either side of the room. There were posters all over the walls showing the new releases and life-size figures of characters were dotted here and there.

Kenma realised he was still holding Kuroo’s hand and let go thinking it wasn’t necessary anymore. Kuroo’s expression was unreadable as he let go. He was smiling but his eyes seemed to convey something different. He walked further into the store running his hands along the shelves, Kuroo watched him for a couple of seconds before following after him slowly. His hand felt empty without Kenma’s hand in it and he yearned to satiate his need for the feeling of Kenma’s skin against his.

They walked around and talked in the store until the owner said he’d be closing in 15 minutes. So Kenma quickened his pace and grabbed things he saw that he wanted to get. Kuroo was following him until he stopped and saw something that he wanted to get for Kenma.

It was a small pendant of one of the cats from Animal Crossing who Kuroo remembers was very similar to Kenma. They were both lazy and both would do activities if told they could get something like food out of it and just his general feel about him was very Kenma-ish. He smiled as he took the pendant off the shelf.

“Are you coming Kuroo?” he heard Kenma call for him. He looked up and Kenma had finished paying and was waiting for him by the door. “Oh yeah, I’m coming just wait for me there.” He replied as he gave the chain to the man at the register so he could pay for it. He declined a packet and slipped the chain into his pocket and thanked the cashier.

He and Kenma left the shop back into the street which had calmed down a bit so there were not as many people. Kenma looked up at Kuroo as they started to walk back to the car, “Hey thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed myself Tetsu.” Kuroo nodded and smiled in response, “I’m glad, and you seemed happier too.”

He then thought of an idea remembering what Bokuto had said to him that morning, “But, we aren’t done yet,” he said as he stopped in his tracks. Kenma stopped midstride and turned to look at him. “What do you mean, what else do you want to do?”

Kuroo then continued walking with a grin on his face. “Wh-what’s up with all these surprises Tetsu.” He grumbled as he followed Kuroo. Once they were back in the car Kuroo put the heater on as the temperature dropped a bit and his sweater was not nearly warm enough. He started to drive leaving the city and Kenma hooked up his phone to the cars speaker system to play some music that he liked.

Kuroo actually preferred listening to whatever Kenma played because he had a wider variety of genres that he listened to so he could go from hardcore rap to the softest and romantic music you could find yourself listening to. His favourite was a song called carry you by Ruelle which Kenma started to play.

He found himself humming along to the words and feels them resonate through the way he was feeling about Kenma at that moment. He stopped at a spot that was halfway up a mountain but had a beautiful view of the city. He stopped the car but kept it on to let the song play through until it ended.

Kenma looked out onto the view with wonder. He wasn’t the kind of person to travel much even if it was just down the road and even then he didn’t take much notice of the scenery around him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Wow, Tetsu. This is…” he let out a huff as he smiled obviously speechless, “why did you bring me out here though?”

Kuroo continued to look out the window with determination. He had to go through with this. He couldn’t just keep himself from finding out what would happen. He was scared but it had to be done. “I have to confess something to you Kenma. I can’t keep it inside anymore it’s not fair to me or you.”

Kenma instantly felt a cold feeling wash over him. He knew what was coming and could feel his eyes start to burn as the tears threatened to flow. He tried to remain calm though. This needed to happen. No matter how much it hurts him it's necessary. He braced himself for the rejection.

Kuroo turned to look at Kenma but couldn’t see what was happening on his face as he was facing away. So he took that leap, “I think I’m in love with you Kenma.” As he said this he saw a tear roll down Kenma’s face.

Kenma whipped his head to the side so he could look at Kuroo, the look of absolute surprise very evident on his face. His jaw dropped open in complete disbelief. “What! is it that surprising?” Kuroo said. Kenma tried to regain his composure, “Tetsu are you sure?” he couldn’t believe what was coming from Kuroo’s mouth. Kuroo raised his eyebrow at him, “What do you mean ‘am I sure’ Kenma I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

Kuroo couldn’t quite read the emotions on Kenma’s face but he knew they weren’t bad. Maybe he had nothing to worry about?

Kenma moved so he could sit facing Kuroo directly, “Jesus Tetsurou I-well I love you too.” He looked as if he was close to tears as his gaze found its way to Kuroo’s. It was Kuroo’s turn to be surprised and he instantly smiled and looked down as if he was embarrassed about it.

Kenma rubbed his eyes to get rid of the tears that had threatened to fall not even minutes before. Kuroo looked back up again, “Is that what’s been bothering you lately?” Kenma laughed as he sniffed. Kuroo was oblivious but he wasn’t a complete idiot. “Yeah actually I wanted to talk to you about it but I was too scared that it would mean losing you and I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.”

Kuroo looked at him with a serious expression on his face. “So are you okay now, since it’s in the open?” Kenma nodded his head with a small smile. Kuroo lifted his hand to push back some hair that had fallen into Kenma’s face and he kept it there as he moved closer, his eyes keeping Kenma’s locked into place “May I kiss you Kenma?” Kenma nodded as he moved closer.

Kuroo cupped Kenma’s face between both his hands and lightly grazed his thumb over his cheekbone. Slowly he brushed his nose against Kenma’s and pressed their lips together as softly as he could to test out the waters to make sure he was completely okay with this. Kenma leaned more forward as he wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and tangled his hands in his hair.

He sighed as Kuroo deepened the kiss, their lips moving in sync with each other. Kuroo bit Kenma’s bottom lip softly earning himself a small moan from him. Needing air, they pulled away from each other but Kuroo kept his forehead pressed against Kenma’s.

“God I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.“ He huffed out with a laugh and continued, “will you go out with me. On a date next time?” Kenma opened his eyes and smiled, “Yes Tetsu.” Kuroo giggled and kissed him again longer this time. After what felt like hours they untangled from each other but still stayed close.

“Oh I meant to ask you Tetsu, what did you get from the store earlier?” Kenma asked with a curious look on his face. Kuroo blanked for a second before remembering, “Oh shit, yeah. Well, remember when you introduced me to Animal Crossing and I told you my favourite villager in your village was that lazy cat named Bob?”

Kenma nodded, “It was actually because he reminded me of you. And when I walked past one of the stands earlier I saw this.” He reached into his pocket and brought out the chain with the pendant on it. “So I wanted to buy it for you.”

Kenma looked down at the chain hanging between them. He looked at Kuroo and smiled, “This may be the cutest thing anyone has ever gotten me Tetsu, thank you.” He took the chain from Kuroo and slipped it over his head holding the pendant of the lazy purple cat in his hand.

Kenma grabbed his phone to play music through it and they sat together listening to love songs that somehow deepened the already ocean depth love they had for each other.

Tagging: @gabbywubby  @shou-kunn @super-noya @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @pudding-head-kenma @thirsthourdemon @thesecretlifeoflilly

[david-watts]

pls do us a favour and drop the evidence of how brian was autistic

strap yourselves in folks because the original report I had for this is several hundred words long. also none of this is from a psychological perspective and I’m in no position to give an official diagnosis HOWEVER I am an autistic person myself and you do tend to notice these things if you look closely 

ok firstly I believe that brian’s interest in transport was his first special interest. firstly I’m gonna quote my m*m on the matter ‘nobody [neurotypical] is interested in transport!’ which is in reference to me excitedly telling her about my idea for the article (it was for school and I did indeed submit this for a mark. the teacher found it very interesting though). then again she’s not a reliable source and that quote was probably in comparison to my dad and I both being fascinated by railways (thanks dad). ok so back to the fact brian was so fascinated, in laura jackson’s biography on him it discusses how he would love going to see steam locomotives as a young child, which true, lots of young children are fascinated with them, however he kept that fascination into adulthood because wasn’t there that snippet that he collected things to do with transport? also he used to construct mock crashes using real fire idk if that’s anything to do with it though 

brian would also listen to blues records over and over again to figure out how to play them which is very dedicated of him, but also he named two of his kids after julian adderly. that’s dedication. he went as far to get metal piping from a scrapyard in order to play slide guitar, and when the stones were supporting bo diddley brian dropped all of bo’s material from the stones’ set out of sheer respect. admittedly I haven’t got as much info on his interest in the blues because I focused too much on his interest in transport because overlapping interests will drag you places, but I can see his interest in it??? someone else with more knowledge might be able to piece it together better than I can 

also on the music thing and teaching himself slide guitar, something that I did learn from another autistic person (it was someone on youtube I think it was aaron ansuini?) and the topic of autistic people finding it easy to figure out how things work came up and the example he used was instruments. now according to laura jackson’s biography (yes I reference this a lot it’s the only solely-brian-focused stones bio I have) brian learnt piano very well, and taught himself saxophone after learning clarinet alongside mastering all reed instruments by EAR, but also taught himself slide from records, and we all know how many damn instruments brian played 

this is a weird one and I did learn this from when I was getting my orthotics fitted at the end of last year so it’s not in the original document thankfully BUT. autistic people tend to walk on their toes, which leaves differences in our feet because it’s simply a different gait, your feet will wear differently. one of the things brought up in that appointment was the fact that the toes will curl for grip and the like. front of the foot will flatten - if you make a fist and look at your knuckles it will make a curve, now imagine if that was flattened and apply it to your feet. now of course naturally I remembered seeing a picture of brian without shoes a few days earlier and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I willingly stared at his feet to try and figure out if he also happened to have those... trademarks. I couldn’t really make out much but using that Iconic™ photo of him shoving his feet into the camera, I did notice his toes do curl, especially the two outermost toes. I can’t quite make out whether the front of his feet were flattened or not but it does seem like they might’ve been from the other picture I stared at for way too long, but looking at the more iconic photo I can’t tell either way due to there appearing to be a curve however there should be more shadows if that were the case. ok weird bit over I hate that I stared at his feet for so long 

because I talked about feet here’s a section on animals. there’s the story I think you told me about the time brian tried stealing kittens when he thought they were being mistreated, the time brian befriended a goat when another member of the stones (unknown which one it was but anyone else picturing keef?) decided to lift its back legs up and pretend it was a lawnmower due to the fact that someone said that a goat would keep the lawn down and I think brian took that literally (we’ll come back to that). and how could we forget the time the white goat was led out and brian literally said ‘me’ (harry told me that one and I have NO way of verifying it but holy shit). now this is something I have noticed and that’s autistic people do tend to get along better with animals. this is either hyperempathy, or lack of empathy because I’m on the ‘I have zero empathy’ end of the scales and I had more animal friends as a kid than human ones. I’m not an expert but at least in my case it was not needing social skills in order to communicate? 

so we all know brian was like. a square peg in a round hole right. the fact that he used to be a golden child who’d help serve out the morning tea buns (probably just so he could get the leftover crumbs at the bottom of the tray but we’ve all been there) to like. one of the most rebellious figures in swinging london. that entire narrative is something very neurodivergent, especially with autistic people who tend to get frustrated with the world because they’re very obviously different (pat andrews did say that when she met him in 1960 he was considered a loner). a lot of other ‘square pegs in round holes’ such as nikola tesla, einstein and so on have been thought to be on the spectrum. brian also used to refuse to put on his uniform and as I’m typing this I’m literally wondering if that’s a sensory thing because school uniforms are uncomfortable to the ordinary person, they can be utter hell if you’ve got sensory issues. speaking of brian’s school career he also didn’t see the point in certain things such as ‘games’ as he said in an interview, and that’s something a few autistic people do find, that they can’t find the point in certain activities they don’t find interesting or enjoyable. 

also have I mentioned that I think brian might’ve stimmed by putting his fingers in his mouth? there’s several pictures of him, and I mean several, where he’s got his fingers or his thumb in his mouth or near his mouth in a situation where stimming would happen, aka basically anywhere because stimming is just something we do, y’know??? 

ok so I hope this was interesting??? I have been sitting on this information for over a year. hopefully my teacher doesn’t find this but if she does, hi. ignore my blog please. 

anyway I’ve compiled this from laura jackson’s biography, several personal anecdotes, information i have seen on various sites both about brian and on autism, various autistic youtubers, and other documentaries and thingies about autism because I have watched a few out of curiosity! hope this was interesting 

[lovemesomerobobois]

Okay, so LL megs are trapped in a cave in, megs is tuck so s/o starts mining, like, real mining and they’re pretty good, turns out they just learned how to mine because they were originally high class and feel sick with themselves with what miners had to go through so... yeah? Maybe some self hate because they just hate that they where such high class snobs and they’re terrible at anything they needs work??? Idk I’m sorryyyh XD

Okay, so i feel like this is some heavy shit and they would totally talk about it before hand, so like, is developing relationship okay? That’s what I’m going with, but i can change it too. BTW, love this idea!!!! 

Rated G, not very soft and fluffy. . . sorry

Their little escapade  was supposed to be reconnaissance only. Ultra Magnus had stressed that well enough before departure. The Lost Light’s planetary scanners were disrupted by the electromagnetic debris in the planet’s atmosphere, but of course that wouldn’t stop Rodimus. He just had to know what was on the thinly-veiled, rocky planet. Abandoned rocky planet. 

Surprise, surprise, rocks. Huge red-brown fissures splitting the murky sky, and crawling tunnels burrowing into the planet’s core. 

Megatron and his newfound partner (their courting had been declared only a week earlier) had split off from the group of Bots exploring the surface to poke around the tunnels. The two walked in companionable quiet, listening for any strange sounds that might indicate danger. Who knew what odd creatures dwelled in the dark ahead of them). 

A mile or so deep, Megatron stopped to examine a corroded box of sorts that was tucked into the shadows. He’d noticed the scars in the surrounding rock earlier, the silver marks where tools once struck, but so far the mine appeared barely tapped. Megatron didn’t have to call for his partner, they’d already turned towards him, optics wide in the dark. They backtracked and joined him at the box. 

Stooping down, they brushed a thick layer of dust away and asked, “Tools, you think?”

They looked up and Megatron thought, for a second, that they looked too innocent to be in a mine, abandoned or not. He nodded and glanced behind him, as if some lone remaining miner was lurking out of sight.

“I am wary,” he started, “of a mine barely touched, yet barren.” 

His significant other stood. “We aren’t very far in, though.”

“No, we are not. But do you see any sign of valuable minerals?”

“No, but—”

The tunnel trembled, scattering small chunks of rock and kicking up dust. Without thinking, Megatron threw himself on top of his partner and clutched them tight, his frame the only shield they had. The roar of the quake and falling rock was so deafening that, when everything stilled again, there was an incessant ringing in both bots’ audials. 

“Megatron?”

The voice was muffled and he wasn’t certain that someone had spoken until something moved under him. They said his name again, like they were summoning him from Deep Space, but instead of floating in nothingness, he was pinned down. He turned his helm and met familiar optics. He blinked slow, convincing himself that his lover wasn’t a hallucination. 

They wriggled from underneath him, fighting debris as they did. Thankfully, they weren’t injured and managed to dig their way to a small pocket of space, a miniature cave in the collapsed tunnel. 

“Can you hear me?” they called.

Megatron groaned, hoping they heard. Only minutes later, a sound from his nightmares rang out, louder than the ringing in his helm. It came again and he shuddered, diverting his attention to the pain in his legs and the pins and needles gathering in his joints. He teetered on the line of consciousness and emptiness, and he wasn’t sure what his reality looked like anymore. Was there someone chipping away at the rubble crushing him, or was that a demon from his past announcing its approach?

_ POV SHIFT cuz. . . yeah :)

With every swing of the pickaxe, Megatron’s partner pushed on. They had to reach him, no matter how much rock and broken earth stood in the way. They remembered their first cave-in. An early detonation on the surface had sent shocks down into the mineshaft they were working in. Three mechs died, and they —the rookie— were trapped with the others’ corpses. They cringed to think how long they would’ve been left down there had their sire not been in the Senate. 

They swung extra hard, relishing the burn in their shoulders. They took a break to send out another distress signal to anyone in range and check on Megatron. 

“Megatron, are you awake?” 

No response. 

“I’ve got to be close,” they muttered to themself. 

“A miner,” Megatron managed, “but you knew Senator Proteus.” His voice, warped with pain, echoed what little distance there was left between them. Of course he knew about his partner’s old Senate connections, but only on a superficial level. 

“I. . .” How could they explain this to Megatron? Their relationship was only budding, and full disclosure hadn’t been a condition of their courting, but it felt wrong to keep this from him. They opted for insufficiency. “I wasn’t a miner. Not like you.”

They returned to their work and Megatron returned to his plagued silence. 

Finally, finally, Megatron was uncovered and, by some miracle, the tunnel hadn’t collapsed from all the movement. His legs were ruined, mangled and completely useless. So, without a word, his partner propped him up against a sloped rockwall and continued their work, desperate for an escape route. It was difficult ignoring Megatron’s unabashed gaze, his evaluating and cynical optics. 

“You move like a miner,” he said, “but you aren’t a miner.” The question in the statement was clear.

His partner didn’t stop chipping away at the rock. “I was born into the upper class.”

“And your connection to Proteus?”

They couldn’t tell if Megatron was furious or hoarse from the dust.

“My sire, but I’m a bastard child.” As if that remedied anything. They paused to chance a glimpse of Megatron. Flat face, impossible to read. “I hated it, every second of it.”

He snorted. “You hated your privilege? I pity you.” Angry, definitely angry.

His partner, though they doubted that title would be lasting much longer, slipped on their next swing. The blade of the pickaxe snapped off its base and skittered off the rock, slashing the back of their servo. They dropped the handle and sank to the ground.

“I couldn’t stand watching the lower classes struggle while grandeur was a commonality for me. So, I blackmailed Proteus.” They couldn’t look up, wouldn’t dare meet Megatron’s gaze. “I was young and naive, making demands about an equality I knew nothing about. Proteus muzzled me, but I was dumb and stubborn. Behind his and my carrier’s backs I snuck into the mines and worked, just one of the numbers. I documented everything I witnessed, but even after it was published, nothing changed.” Recounting it all made them feel dirty and they hung their helm. “I wasn’t going to let my socioeconomic standing blind me to the horrors that so many others experienced daily.”

Megatron said nothing for a while. When he did speak, it was a sort of hush, but no less powerful than his normal tone. “What you found in the mines was truth, yet you would have never found it had you not flaunted your privilege.” He took a slow, grating breath. “So tell me, what good came of it all?”

They risked making eye contact. There was no rage in Megatron’s optics, only the exhaustion of a mech who’s lived a thousand lives. 

“What good comes from anything?”

Megatron thought a moment then beckoned them closer and took their bleeding servo. He examined the wound before pulling a cloth and bandage from his subspace and doctoring it. His grip was warm and careful.

His partner watched him work. “What good did come of it?” they asked. 

“Every time I believe I know, it is only my imagination.” He finished wrapping their servo and tugged them closer. “There is no shame in not having an answer,” he said.  

The two leaned against one another in quiet contemplation, lost to themselves and only existing in their relation to the other. Mining could wait.

[swearronchanel]

9.06

I’m a day late but I have thoughts

- Fred is truly a gem lol but another garden seems redundant

- Trixie actually working!

- Why did they bring back Val’s really bitchy cousin lol, I’m sure she has others on the block😂

- Also Mcnulty seems eager to come back, nice boy

- Sister Hilda tryna stay positive when she knows the truth, bless her

- Also the heat 2000 feels just as far away when you say it now at days too😂

- Save Nonnatus House 1k65/2k20

- I was always wondering when the Turners would tell Angela she’s adopted. I think it should be soon, she deserves to know & I hope we see it

- Little girls always wanna be the same😭 that’s true, but I hope that they acknowledge the fact that it’s a different situation and Angela won’t ever have the struggle May is about to have

- “Maybe they’ll move and carry on like before” Trixie in tears makes me wanna cry😭 she’s literally already been through this. I wish we saw more moments where she reflects as the only OG midwife left (yea Shelagh is technically too but you already know all the issues)

- Also Trixie looks damn great

- What will midwives the do!? We shall see

- Oh so Val has a dad? Did he pass? Give us more info lol

- I also feel like it’s been spring/summer this whole series lol

- Ok but the suddenly alive lost parent trope is pretty soap-y/melodramatic but go on,

- Shelagh stress smoking is a big ass mood but also stop you have weak lungs sis

- Reggie always have great ideas

- Chugging castor oil uh I rather die 🤢

- She’s going to shit her brains out now

- LMAO YUP

- Sister Hilda and Trixie could be an interesting dynamic, let’s see it

- Fred do not worry you’ll figure it out

- What’s wrong with Sister Frances?

- Where is Ms Higgins from that she just said laboratory like that LMAO?? Or do all brits say it like that? i dont remember

- Can’t wait to see Phyllis back with her cubs

- Fred and Reggie hugging for so long🥺

- Sister MJ is going to make a garden, I love her

- Trixie’s new pyjama’s are so cute

- It’s a boy 🥺

- “I am not alone sister” LMAO omg reminds me of the time my grandma went shopping by herself right after she came out of the hospital and we called her and asked who she was with and she straight up said “con díos” aka god and I died

- Never underestimate Sister Mj tho

- Tim is so grown and yet he’s still just the babysitter is so wack give him a little story

- “I like that we’re complicated” awww

- The photos of May🥺awww

- Give Esther a chance man, I feel so bad. She only asked to meet her before she goes back

- Gtfo how can the agency not provide a translator so that she can understand official documents in her first language? That’s bullshit

- LMAO FRED IS WASTED

- “Only in the line of duty ma’am” 😂

- Oh no poor Sister Frances, cramps are the WORST 😭

- I legit would not be able to move for hours and have thrown up before from period pain. Thank god for birth control

- What’s wrong with baby warren?! Omg noo a heart problem

- Trixie’s fit is great

- The fucking chicken pox caused this omg nooo

- THE BEATLES AT SHEA!! iconic! Remember when Don took Sally on Mad Men

- Omg baby is blind? and only going to live a few weeks? Noo😭 this is heart breaking

- Poor Val and poor Maureen ugh this is so awful

- My niece turned 1 today and baby warren is making me extra emo😢

- Sister MJ with the teddy bear 🥺 she doesn’t even care she got caught for taking the blankets LMAO

- Damn May doesn’t remember her or her language. This is so heartbreaking

- ALSO why were there not subtitles so we could know what she said? 🤔 very questionable... just like how they emphasized earlier her going by a “christian” name now... 

- Esther shouldn’t have gotten loud but they didn’t even give her a chance? That’s not really fair

- I know Patrick is being protective but he’s so defensive that he probably did scare May

- PHYLLIS FAKING CAR TROUBLES TO GET CRYRIL AND LUCILLE TOGETHER I LOVE IT

- Damn that didn’t go well LMAO

- I’m really feeling conflicted here. I know the Turners have the best intentions and want to keep May safe but I feel like they haven’t given Esther enough of a chance before passing judgment. Like how do we not know she’s a completely changed/clean from drugs women?

- like she is working for a family with enough money for international travel so they probably pay well? IDK what to think rn. Maybe I’m giving Esther the benefit of the doubt but no one else really is

- “They made my child afraid of me” that’s so sad to hear

- “Forgetting her language, forgetting that she’s Chinese” !!! THIS, no one is talking about May’s loss of culture & what’s worse is that no one else seems to care. It really upsets me, the show always wants to pride itself on respecting other cultures and being inclusive but I don’t always feel that

- Also what she said about what they’ve done to her people. She ain’t wrong. F**k colonialism and all its evils !!

- Poor Esther 😭 this is so sad. It’s a lose lose situation for her and she just wants her daughter to know her and know that she loves her

- Also I know sister J is sister J but her talking to Esther is a bit biased don’t you think

- NO NO NO Warren passed 😭😭😢

- Damn Patrick has to carry a stack of death certificates 😢

- ANOTHER look from Ms Franklin

- all the girls look great though

- My heart really breaks for Esther man. This is so sad. She’s the victim of circumstances and it sucks to feel like the world is against you

- It’s so awkward bc the Turners are always set up in moments to kiss and then they don’t and just stand or sit there

- Such beautiful flowers

- They developed the film of Baby Warren😭

- Cyril’s FIT ! A fashion KING who loves Lucille. I love it. I love them.

- The nosy nurses of course

- Alright this is an awesome little festival good job Fred and Reggie !!

- Love the dress Trixie. The hat no so much but it’s the 60s so

- A BABY GARDEN OMG HOW PRECIOUS

- SISTER MONICA JOAN WON OK!

- “Flowers take many forms. Each one has its story. Each one unfolds...” 🌼🌸💐🌷🌺🌻🌷

- “Not every garden blooms as we except it... tears take the place of rain when the sunshine fails us...” 😭💖

- This was a beautiful ending to a sad episode wow

[prorevenge]

You okay the project for the whole team? Great turn it in to the professor tomorrow

Tl/dr; Kids in group project don’t take having a real life client seriously, 1 fails, 1 fails and doesn’t graduate, and 1 goes from A to C and screws up GPA.

  Enough of the Backstory, here are the characters, obviously no where near their real names:

Matt - Professor

Client - Store owner

Damien - Project Partner

Jeff - Project Partner

Kirk - Project Partner

Barry - Me

      The SPRING class in this story was a Implementing Business Computer Systems class. For the yearly project we had a real life client that our school volunteered the students for Pro Bono work of small business in the area. We were seniors, so we are trusted with the clients work as it is oversaw by our professor. This is a big step and I, for one, am excited. I had been doing nothing but working as a Bartender/Server in a fine dining restaurant and having my head in books learning how to code with barely any time to do much else - this was an opportunity to get a taste of the real world we were about to embark on.

      The project started out fine, we all drive thirty minutes away to meet our client. A wonderful woman that owned a small floral business and she was paying 1-800-flowers to sell her product for her, which came with a website itself and a HUGEEEE price. This lady was also in her 60s and by no means fluent in computer - this is important for later. We talk, find out she wants a new website, her contract with 1-800-assholes ends in the summer. No pressure, we will be able to finish the web site and give it to her by the end of the semester, if not earlier. This will give us time to teach her what is needed and what to do so that she can maintain and run the website by her self. Afterwards we delegate the tasks, and since I have the most extensive background in coding and computers, I volunteer to learn how to create this website for our client as long as Damien, Jeff and Kirk work on the other parts of the project - the user guide and the technical documentation. For our client, this needed to be extensive so that she would be able to post her product on the website with an easy transition.

      As we weigh our options over the next week, we come up with some proposals to the client and we set a meeting to go over these on a Tuesday - the day everybody is the most free in their schedule - the following week. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. I say no, I will go by myself we shouldn't cancel on the client - no biggie, I understand things come up. As the project went through the semester, I am killing the website. I have a working e-commerce store integrated with the stores paypal, i have a shop tab, and a featured page for in season flowers. I ask about the documentation and the user manual and I am told by the all three of them that they are working on it and will have a rough draft for me soon to check out. Cool, No problem. Time to show the client the product to see if she wants any changes or if we should just continue creating this website for her; we set a meeting with the client on a Tuesday a week or two in advance and everybody says that is okay.

      Same song, different story. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. "I say fuck no, this is a client. You don't do that to clients." So I hop my ass by myself to drive 30 minutes to meet our client. I show the Client the website and she client is happy with the product and asks us to continue and she is excited for the finished product.

      How our weeks are set up is in such a way which they start on a Wednesday and end on a Tuesday. So the last day of classes are on a Tuesday. The school then gives an extra free day that Wednesday for a "Study Day", then the exams schedule goes Thu-Fri-Sat || Mon-Tues-Wed. I am sure you can infer what students do on that Tuesday before study day. Fast forward to the end of the semester, I still haven't seen any documentation or user manual and it is due on the class' exam day, which is the first day of exam week. So a week before it is due I am told I will have the documentation and user manual in my hand before our meeting which is at 12PM that study day - Wednesday. I receive a email at 11PM on Tuesday as I am getting off work and I see that is the technical documentation and the user manual. i open it up, promptly get pissed, turn off my laptop, play some xbox and pass out before midnight. The reason being, technical documentation was 1 page and did not contain anything about the Database Schema used, the website language, the paypal information, the emails registered. Just the URL and some other information that wasn't important and was half a page long. Remember how our client was in her 60s? The user manual was 1 and a half pages long and, I shit you not, contained about 5 sentences and 3 pictures with an arrow. 0 explanation on how to use the website.

      Come to the meeting at 12pm, I show up and wait about 5 minutes. I then text everybody asking where they are at, no response. I start looking over how to fix the user manual since I obviously have to start over. While I am working on it, I haven't said anything and then Damien walks into the room.

  D: "Did you get the docs?"

Me: "Yeah. You guys really think this is finished?"

D: "Oh yeah, it should be good to turn in."

Me: "Idk, I think we should add a little more, this is for our client, she won't understand this. Where is Jeff and Kirk?"

D: " ahhahaha We all got fucked up last night after finishing up the documentation, they are probably still passed out. Also, I'm turning it in tomorrow, if you want to do anything else go ahead, but whatever I have I am turning it in. I think its ready to turn it so I won't be doing anything else, I have other classes to study for. I already have an A in this class so it doesn't matter to me and Kirk and Jeff have A's as well so they don't care at all."

      Perfect he said the magic words and then he left with a flash drive. I immediately went upstairs and told my professor, Matt, everything. I said I don't want to leave my client hanging, yes my client, not ours. Matt said that he completely understands and even commends me for wanting to stay on top of everything and not give our client a bad taste for our students. He then asks why. I simply stated, "What you are about to receive tomorrow for 'our' project is completely unacceptable. It is unfair for us and for our client to leave her hanging." I showed him the website, which he likes and then I showed him the user guide and technical documentation. I asked for an extra week to finish the documentation and user guide - as I had a plan for what it should be and needed time to create it all. Matt said absolutely, but forget about the documentation. You obviously know what is in it, just focus on the client. So I created user videos with dictation, drove to the client and showed her how to use it all, where to find the videos. I even created a program that had all the videos inside so she could have it on her desktop and the program pulled up the video of her choice for whatever she needed help with with some buttons so she wouldn't have to search folders for the videos. I gave her my contact info and said I'll be here over the summer if she ever needs help with the website or has any questions and I can swing by.

    After all of this happened and afterwards I gave an update to Matt who also had an update from me. Apparently he almost failed the rest of my group because they turned in their project by slipping an unmarked USB drive under his door. He only accepted it after they emailed him asking him if he received the USB. Matt also called our client to verify my story of the fact that they never showed for client meetings and the client told him I was the only person that has been showing up. Hearing this from other people, anybody in my group that had A's in the class leading up to the project got a C, anybody with a B in the class failed. Damien's GPA was screwed up from this class as it was a 4 hours class. Kirk and Jeff both failed and Jeff wasn't allowed to graduate and Kirk had to retake it the next semester even though he wasn't graduating. My grade which was an 84 before the project was bumped to an A. The next year Damien asked how I did in that class because he was confused about his final grade, and I simply said I did fine, received an A. He has no idea the reason why. Don't f*ck with me and my grade and I won't f*ck with you.

(source) story by (/u/sw1mm3r202)

[popopretty]

BSD Chapter 70

Chapter Name is “Prison Break - the second half”.

Now that I hope everyone has calmed down about Dazai’s new unlocked skill set, this is my monthly wordy chapter writeup. I really enjoyed this month’s chapter and I hope you will too.

Please keep in mind that neither English nor Japanese is my native language so I might, and I do make mistakes here and there. Please let me know if you have any doubts or questions regarding the writeup ^^

SPOILERS AHEAD (AND IT IS SUPER LONG!)

- Ango’s troop saw the shadow of Atsushi’s group entering the one of the open safe and closing the door. They approached the closed safe and broke themselves in. However, Atsushi group is nowhere to be found. Ango used his ability but couldn’t sense any traces of someone using abilities.

- Meanwhile, Atsushi group was able to escape outside. The trick was simple. They let Ango see someone enter the safe and close the door but it was just Yasha Shirayuki. The three of them actually hid in the safe next to it, the one that is wide open. And then Kyouka just cancelled off Yashashirayuki and they managed to escape while everyone was focusing on the empty safe. It was a simple psychological trick. Atsushi praised Oguri to come up with such great idea and Oguri remembered how Yozomizu taught him about that in the past. He wonder if Yozomizu has always been there, with his locked room mystery.

- The group planned to get into the sewerage underground pathway to find a car and run away later. But was caught up by Ango who shot Atsushi and Kyouka with anethestic. Atsushi begged Ango to believe in him, that the ADA is not guilty and that if it’s Ango he would understand. Ango said that the only thing that only him could understand is thing that he could see by his ability. He showed Atsushi the money they have used to escape in the previous chapter, and revealed that his ability is “to see the remaining memories left in objects”. Through that he was able to see their escape route. Kyouka then remembers that Ranpo once mentioned that there is a “memory reader” inside the government and figured out that must be Ango. Ango pointed the gun at Atsushi saying that for a member of government’s secret association like him, to “believe in” the enemies is a joke he can’t even laugh at.

- To Atsushi’s surprise, Ango didnt shoot him but instead push them into the underground pathway. He told the other soldiers that the group has run away using an unidentified ability. He then looked down and smiled to Atsushi saying that by doing so Fyodor will think they are really going against each other.

- Later, Ango took everyone from the scene by his car. Atsushi asked if he actually believed what Atsu said, to which Ango answered that he had known it from the start. He revealed that he was the one who sent Dazai’s message to the screen to save Fitz earlier. He has been the “middleman” for Dazai from the start. In order to prevent prisoners from escaping from Mersault, they have implanted a sensor into the prisoners’ bodies to record their heart rates and stuff. Taking advantages of that, Dazai has manipulated his heart rate to have it recorded as numbers that Ango can access by government authorities and decode them. About controlling one’s heart rate, Ango said it is something only Dazai can pull off.

- Oguri didn’t believe Ango and doubted the reasons why Ango had to do all of those tricks. Ango said it is because he does not know if there is Fyodor’s spy somewhere. He also explained that he does not belong to No.7 Association, and that was a lie made up by Fyodor to prevent Oguri and Ango to meet up and talk.

- Ango took everyone to Lucy’s room because it is safe to talk there. Atsushi asked why Montgomery knew Ango. Then Ango said she came to the Police office and made a fuss there with a pile of hand-written documents claiming that Atsushi was not guilty. Lucy was super embarrassed while Atsushi thinks it is really earnest of her.

- Oguri asked Ango if Ango was the head of No.7 Association, that captured Oguri and made him erase criminal conducts for them. Ango denied that. Oguri then asked if Ango ever used the power of that association, to which he said yes. He did use it just once, 4 years ago, when he erased all of Dazai’s past sins so that Dazai could continue to live out of the mafia. Oguri then asked the reason why he decided to dirty his hands like that, to which Ango said it is to atone for his sins to a friend who is no longer in this world.

- Ango then confirmed Oguri’s word that No.7 Association is criminal. Almost nothing is known about them, from scale to members, to its chain of order. There are rumors that they are the people from inside the police and cabinet but noone knows the actual truth. One thing for sure, if those people want to they can easily threaten the government. Ango spoke of his fear that Fyodor and this association will join forces, and that there might be Fyodor spy inside the government itself. That’s why Ango cannot trust anyone and he asks Oguri to share with him the info that he has. (Oguri was reluctant at this part but as he saw Kyouka asking him for it too, he was scared off and decided to tell everything xDD)

- Oguri then talked about the structure of Tenningosui. There are 5 members. Apart from Fyodor and Gogol, there are 2 other powerful ability users and another “organizer” who brings them all together, which means there is one more person above Fyodor.

- Oguri does not know the final goal of Tenningosui, but he did get to hear the step just before that, which is “Erase the nation”, not “overturn”. And they will achieve it through “the page”. There is only one page, which they have used to set up the ADA. But there is still the other side of the page. Once one side of the page is already written, it will take effect right away. That means they can use its power one more time, by writing on the remaining side of that page.

- Atsushi asked why they havent written it right away. Oguri explained that there is a rule of consistency and cause-effect that they have to follow. The detailed plan will be too much within the limit of one page so they only write down the most important event and have to actually carry out all the other smaller steps by themselves. In details, their plan has 4 steps. 1st step is “Canibalism”, so that they can give ADA the award and get close to the government. The next step is to write on the front side of the page to set up the ADA. 3rd step is the present, where they will perform terrorist attacks. And the last step will be to write on the other side of the page to erase the nation. The time when the page will be written will be on the next full moon, 10 days from present time.

- Ango and Oguri then left. Ango mentioned that he is gonna give the information to Dazai (through whatever means Idk).Lucy tried to comfort Atsushi and Kyouka but turned out they are super happy after hearing the information. Because they know that there will be one more side of the page to write on, and the enemy will not be writing it in the next 10 days. So as long as they can find Tenningosui, destroy them and get the page, they can write on the page and overturn the situation.

- Chapter ends with Atsushi looking very hopeful about saving the ADA. I guess the situation is still very tough but at least now they knew a way to get out of it, no matter how hard it might be.

That is the end of this month’s chapter. My brain is still trying to process the amount of information. And thank you for reading until this part. It has been one hell of a long post, but really there is so much information that I cannot leave out ;; See you next month (probably).

[thank-you-pete-archive]

Dlkhcjka i know I'm late, but more Spideypool

Warnings: language and some angst at the start. It's just sad peter :'(

Word count: idk??? Enough?

-----

As soon as the door to the apartment creaked shut, Peter let a droplet escape his eye. The room was dark, the only light was formed by the half-full moon in the sky. The silver bled through the blinds and scored the ground with its dim light.

“You’re home late…” the gruff, Canadian accented voice came from the couch. Peter’s roommate let his voice trail off when he saw the dim figure leaning against the door. He got up from his place on the couch to wrap his arms around his friend. “Hey, hey, baby boy? What’s goin on?”

Peter leaned on the other man’s shoulder. His hands gilded their way up to squeeze the others shoulder blades together. More tears found their way out of Peter’s eyes. “Wade, what do i do?” Peter’s whisper barely audible with his mouth hidden in the material of the other man’s outfit.

Wade was wearing his suit. His Deadpool suit, just without the mask. Peter could tell, one, because he saw it in the faint light of the moon, and two, because of the worn leather material that Peter’s fingertips brushed up against.

“here,” Wade slightly pulled away from Peter’s grip, just to scoop him up in his warm arms. He walked into Peter’s room and laid him on the bed. “Mind if i join you?” His scared lips had more words that they wanted to say, but he held his tongue. Wade did have a foul mouth, and ruined most moments with his awful jokes, but he did know how to restrain himself when he really needed to. Peter grunted in agreement to wade’s question. Soon enough, Wade was right by his side, spooning him.

There was silence. A long pause. Peter listened to Wade’s breath, felt it on his neck and the rising and falling of his chest against his back. The quiet was nice. Well, not completely silent. It was New York, after all, but this night seemed much quieter than others. Usually the cold air would be full of yelps and laughter of teenagers out late, or cars honking, or motor engines. Quiet was nice. Their lives were full of violence and crime fighting. It was nice to get a rest. To just take it slow for a bit.

Peter whimpered and pressed his back closer to Wade. The other man snuck his arms around Peter’s waist, and pulled him in tight. Wade’s body was warm. Peter could feel his heat very intensely creeping up his spine.

“I…” peter croaked. He sighed and buried his head in his hands. Hair poked out from between his fingers. “I-sh…”

Wade moved his hands to trail down peter’s neck. They soon went down the side of his body. “Take your time, baby boy. We’ve got as much time as you need.” His scared fingers ever so slightly brushed up against Peter’s abdomen. Little goosebumps formed on Peter’s arms, and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Peter took a breath. “I went to see MJ again…” he sighed. It was always the worst ideas when it involved Peter and MJ. “She-she looks good… I thought, ya know, i kinda changed my mind about kids. i-i really wanted to start again. Maybe start a family, or adopt… but, uh, she’s got… she’s got a new boyfriend. She looks so happy with him, and I'm happy for them. She looks really good, but… well, yeah.” More splashes of salt slipped down his cheeks. This time, they rolled sideways, down his face, and onto the bed sheets. They glistened because of the moon’s light filtering into the room.

Wade buried his head in the material of Peter’s shirt. His warm arms stayed firm around peter, and honestly he didn’t mind. Peter missed being held. Some days he would wake to find that his roommate had snuck in his room at night and fallen asleep on his bed. It was usually Peter being the big spoon, though he was shorter. He hated how, one, wade would sneak into his room, and two, how he was always holding someone else. This, having a tight grip around him, knowing that someone cares about him, felt good. He felt safe.

They didn’t move from their spots the whole night. The two fell asleep, holding each other tight. Never wanting to let go.

* * *

Wade was confused. Peter was a LOT more tactile with him now. He was positive it had something to do with him finding out that MJ had moved on, but why wade? Not that he didn’t like it, but it was pretty out of the blue for Peter.

Examples of Peter’s new interactions with Wade: peter liked to sit closer to Wade when they watched tv/movies on the couch, he didn't get angry at Wade for sleeping in his bed anymore(what was that about?? Like what??), peter’s head just *plop* on Wade’s shoulder. Yeah, it was a very sudden change. It was weird.

[you’re an idiot, Wade]

{hey, don’t say that to him, white. That's very rude!}

[it’s the truth]

“Shut up, you two.” Wade grumbled to the voices that constantly bickered inside his head. He was trying to keep quiet because peter had dozed off after their fight with Vulture. He hadn't slept much last night, working on some documents and stuff for his job.

[do you really not understand?] the question was directed towards Wade, who didn’t answer. [does he really not understand?]

{don’t be mean to him! Just let him be oblivious about something for once in his life} wade could tell that if yellow had hands they would be slapping them over their mouth.

“Oblivious to what?” Wade’s voice was low. When neither yellow nor white spoke(honestly, a blessing. Most of the time the two are at each other's throats. Do you know how good it feels to get some peace and quiet for just a couple seconds when they don’t speak?) wade growled. “Tell me, assholes.”

[how about we leave that job for Peter to explain?]

Wade sighed. “God, you really can be a prick sometimes, White.”

[so can you]

“Wipe that smug grin off your non existent face!”

{hey, hey, lets not yell. Peter’s sleeping!}

[not anymore.]

“Aw great, ass hole! You made me wake him up!” Wade’s whisky brown eyes shot over to where Peter’s body started to shift slowly. He rose up and stretched his arms into the sky. It was just starting to become sunset, so little by little indigo took over the sky. Peter’s back arched as he stretched, then swiveled as he turned to look at Wade.

“The boxes keep you company while i was out?” He chuckled.

Wade hopped up on his feet. He walked over to where his partner-in-crime was setting and held out a hand. “Yeah. Not sure if I particularly like their company, but yeah.” Peter took his scarred hand, and was pulled up on his feet as well. “I’d take your voice over their bickering any day, though!”

“They argue? And there’s two?”

“Yeah, yellow and white. Yellow shows up in between these things {}, and white shows up in these [].”

“How did you just make that noise with your mouth?” Peter pulled on his mask as they hopped down the fire escape to their window. When they landed on the metal perched on the side of the building, it rattled. They both had to use their combined strength to pull up the window.

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answer to,” Wade smiled over his shoulder as he crawled in through the opening. Peter followed close behind.

The two crashed on Peter’s bed. It creaked underneath them as they flopped on. The man in the webbed suit pulled his mask off. His dark chocolate eyes glittered when he looked at wade. Wade soon followed his lead. The golden light from the sunset made his skin glow. Wow, he looked good, but awful. He looked like a mess. Hadn't shaved in almost a week, bags under his eyes, messy hair, but god were his eyes vibrant. He looked like a kid going to Disney for the first time.

All of a sudden, Wade felt a little peck on his cheek. Peter had reached his head out to press his lips against the other man’s cheek. He went chilli pepper red(oh god, oh fuck).

“Oh god, oh fuck,” Wade managed to croak out, looking over at the other man whose face was basically the same. What little part of his neck that wade could see was also bright red. “Uhhh… w-whaaaatt?”

[idiot. He’s been in love with you for almost a year now]

{hey, he’s not an idiot! I only put the pieces together about half a year ago}

“Shut up, boxes,” Peter whispered, reaching out a hand to place on wade’s face. It was burning hot from all the blood rushing there. “Don’t ruin this for us.”

Wade swallowed. His stomach was turning. He didn’t feel like he was gonna be sick. No, he felt amazing. This was amazing. But he was just so nervous.

“Ho-how did you know they were talking?” Wade shivered at peter’s touch. His cold hand on wade’s warm cheek.

“That look in your eye that you get when they argue.”

Wade nodded. His stomach did a thing again when Peter pulled wade in. He was hugging the scarred man. Holding him close. Ohh god. This was all he wanted in life. Wade did the same and hugged him close.

“I thought it was obvious that i liked you,” peter whispered. “Ya’know? That's why i started to get more… uh, what would you call it?”

Wade pondered a second, furrowing the skin where his eyebrows would be, but weren't. “Touchy-feely?”

“Eh, sure?” The other man sighed. “I… i didn’t know you were kind of not picking up on my hints. I wish i would have just told you…”

“No, no. I, uh, i don’t mind you… kissing my cheek?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, eh?”(ugghhh, really? You couldn’t help slipping in the fact that I'm Canadian even though you already said it earlier, and you don't use it anywhere else?)“You think i haven’t liked you for years?”

“I thought that was all just a running joke!” Peter’s adorable, flustered laugh came. Peter shrunk up as he tried to hide it, but couldn’t. He laughed so hard sometimes, and his face would light up so much. That’s what happen now. It only lasted a couple seconds, but they were the best god damn seconds of Wade’s life. “I-i didn’t know you actually… you know, like-d me?”

Wade sighed, his arms still wrapped tightly around Peter. The brown haired man laid his head in the crook of wade’s scarred neck.

“Could, uh… could we do this more often?” Wade was too scared to say it too loud. Maybe peter would hear and would say yes. Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would get angry and storm off. Maybe he just wanted this to be a one time thing. That was a running theme for wade. One night stands with people he actually liked, then he never saw them again. Was he tricking wade? Was this a trick? Oh god, no. If it was a trick wade would actually try to kill himself. His stomach dropped thinking about how this could be a trick. Peter was so sweet, but maybe it was all a trick to let wade in. Maybe peter was using him. Was peter using him? Would peter turn him in to the cops because of all the people he’s killed? Oh god no. Peter? Would peter do that-

“Yeah,” peter kissed the other man’s neck. Everything wade was ever scared of melted away with that one word. “I’d like that.”

[nordic-breeze]

I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused. 

I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.

Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.

I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!

Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.

But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.

But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.

I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.

In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!

So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.

At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.

It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.

While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.

I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.

(wrtten a couple of days later)

Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!

It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.

It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.

I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.

I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*