#took me forever to finish these since work is being a bitch but it was worth the patience

[tired-old-men]

Iris: Guys~ You really din't have to do that... But I appreciate the enthusiasm and support regardless~ 💖

⋆. *. ⋆❥ 🏳️‍🌈Happy Pride Everyone!🏳️‍⚧️ Can't celebrate the season without a good meme and honestly the gay meth meme just radiates Chikki energy so I just had to. Also the biggest shout out to @julie-su's gay cake Spectre, this image lives rent free in my head I freaking love this piece so much. Originally I was just going to draw my own version of Spectre being a supportive grampa but somehow it ended up being a part two of a meme comic and Iris and Thundy got involved, but I love it waayyy too much!

Wishing you all a good pride, express yourself, love yourself because you are valid and loved, don't let anyone tell you otherwise💖

* ˚.⋆✦Kenny ✦ *. ⋆

[writingoddess1125]

Just a Peak- 👀

Crack-Head Headcanon

You accidently see the guys naked

Spicy Themes 🔥 including oral 18+

Buggy, Mihawk, Crocodile, Shanks,

Support me on Ko-Fi! I'm very poor and this is my job for now

Also a quick side note for everyone, This took forever since I had to do actual math! I looked at ALL of these damn characters and their height then based off of Odas fucking drawings figure out how their anatomy would lay in how he drew pants. Was it excessive- Absolutely 💯 was it worth it IDK

Buggy

• You all had been drinking on the ship, it was a fun party in all honesty. Buggy of course wanting to be flashing and show off how fun he was. Buggy who was fairly well drunk stumbled out for some reason you didnt hear-

• You stumbled out to potentially puke over the rails, However when you did you saw your Captian standing there clearly having finished relieving himself and now simply too drunk to put himself away as he stared out over the open ocean.

• You now knew why Buggy was so damn confident all the time...

• Thicccc, easy 8 inches flaccid and fit so well in his gloved hands it damn near looked picturesque.

• Have you ever seen a pretty cock!? When are cock pretty!? It's literally a perfect shape and color, with nicely trimmed ocean blue curls at the base.

Mihawk

• "AHH!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Buggy screamed as he caught you staring- His face as red as his nose as he quickly tried to tuck himself away with sloppy hands.

• You quickly doing a U-Turn back into the hull of the ship- Face as red as a cherry and the image now seared into your brain.

Crocodile

• Being acquainted with Mihawk definitely had its benefits, in case really good drinks and the Bartender giving you free drinks cause they were hitting on The famous pirate!

• Mihawk had disapeared around 4 drinks ago, so you walled out of the bar to see if you could spot him. Turning the corner you spot him, but he definitely wasn't alone.

• There he was with thay flirty Bartender, her on her knees sucking him off. He looked mildly bored as well as he glanced down at her- However you couldn't help but stare when you saw her pull back for air.

• Long a solid 9+ inches , A bit thin for what you expected but clearly he made up for it in length. Pale, Slender, curved ever so slightly and thick hair at the base.

• You now understood the wide walk-

• Seeing the young female Bartender taking him fully into her mouth once mkre with a deep blush. Her nose pressed against the thick layer of black hair at the base- You see his eyes go up from the Bartender right to you

• His eyes met yours and he smirked- Like he was amused you had caught him this way, or that he was turned on by this possibly.

• Your face burned as he stared such strong eye contact with you. Quickly you snapped from your thoughts and hurried back into the bar. Finishing your drink quietly as the memory played in your mind.

• When Mihawk returned he sat next to you, not saying a work but you felt his eyes following you.

• Being a secretary was hard- being one for a famed dangerous pirate was harder- and then there was Crocodile

• He was a very picky and meticulous man that you knew better then to displease. So you had gotten his clothes from the cleaner (sands a bitch to wash out) and was dropping them off at his current residence. You had a key anyway so you walked right in, not expecting him there anyway.

• You were dead wrong however- Walking in it seemed Crocodile had just left the shower and didn't bother with a towel either. Stepping out steaming and having water running down his form.

• He was a big man (8ft3in -253 cm) you knew that... however you never connected it how that would translate in terms of.. his other anatomy however this just didn't seem fair!

Shanks

• It was easy 11 inches, the size of some people's forearm! Paired with it being very girthy it looked more like a weapon then an organ

• Paired with the lazy mess of wavy black curls at the base he clearly didn't bother taming.

• His eyes locking on your shocked face and how red you looked. A noise similar to that of a chuckle leaving him as he didn't even bother closing his robe.

• "Come here-" He said, taking a drag from his cigar and waving you to come back in... it seemed you would have a much closer look now-

• It had been a eventful day- A successful treasure hunt were the whole crew had pulled in a few billion berries for their own pocket. So you had all celebrated, Getting far too drunk in a short amount of time- Paired with delicious food.

• You still feeling buzzed you decided to drift off to get some rest before you got totally shitfaced

• Walking into one of the near by rooms to get some rest, the alcohol still making you fuzzy you realized far too late you'd stepped into the Captian's Quarters- and Far far too late into noticing their was your Captian half undressed clearly about to retire himself.

• A lovely white and pink member laying at a easy 8 in flacid and a forest of untamable red curls are the base of his cock that just lead your eyes there and only to there.

• He blinked at you surprised before cracking one of his signature smiles-

• "You okay Darling?" He said with a laugh, seeing your face so red and shocked.

• A twinkle in his eyes as he gestured for you to come fully inside.

• "Seems something has caught your eye, why don't we close up that door and talk about it?~" He said with a smirk. You nodding and closing the door behind you with a shy smile.

• Now how could you refuse that?

[experimentfae]

I just thought this would be funny or something, but could you do Carmilla Carmine x Female!Reader who just happens to be Velvette’s mom??

Basically she’s a more kinder and sweeter version of Velvette, but she’s also the kind of woman you don’t want to get on her bad side. She also happens to be a somewhat powerful overlord as well.

Also imagine this scene but with Carmilla and Velvette.

That’s hilarious I have to write this

Carmilla Carmine x Velvette’s mom! Reader

Oneshot / fluff /suggestive(lime?)

As you gazed upon the V tower you felt excited to see your daughter it’s been a while. Since you got to have mom and daughter hangout you opened the door and went to velvettes side of the tower.

You watched as two moth looking women opened the door for you “thank you.” You continued into the door seeing your daughter design her latest creation “oh vel your mother is here. You announced with a pose “mom!” She jumped into your arms “it’s been forever, what brings you here?” “Can’t a mother bring her daughter her favorite meal.” You raised up the rubber wrap you were carrying to her. She happily took It “thanks mom but im very busy with business, not to sound like a bitch but, I need you to leave.” She states whip putting the food beside her work.

Though a little disappointed you wouldn’t be spending time with her but you knew her career was extremely important to Velvette “of course Vel I understand, you better visit me I’m your mother after all.” You spoke back while heading out “I will mom, I promise.”

Now here you where back outside walking on the street heading to your next destination a weapon shop. A woman must be prepared at all times something you have learned during your stay down in hell and your time in the living world.

You have heard an overlord named Carmilla owning a weapon shop made with angelic weapons, so you had to go see it for yourself.

Thankfully you found the place and walked through the door, peering and admiring weapons, shield and even guns on the wall and ones on display. As you gazed upon the weapons hoping at least one caught your eye you heard a voice behind you “do you need any help Ms?” You turned to see what you believed to be Carmilla carmine herself.

You blushed, you couldn’t deny you found her attractive and you noticed that she did as well so you knew she felt the same. “I think I found something else I like more.” You watched as her face became pink making your smirk widen.

“Well with such alluring costumer such as yourself, I’m willing to give a discount, and maybe a date if that’s pleases you?” She asked with a smile and you smiled return “I would love that.” The you heard a voice interrupt “mom I’m just gonna be in the back.” You looked to see a blond girl in a scientist like fit gazing in carmines direction.

“Oh um of course dear.” Carmine seemed flustered to be caught by her daughter, when the girl left you turn your direction back to carmine “your mother as well?” “Yes, mother of two girls in fact, you?” “Mother of one, my girl was a handful alone back in the day.” this makes her chuckle. “So about that date what time?” You took out your phone and looked through your schedule “Friday at night works for me, is that ok?” She smiled “that’s works great.

You left the shop with a new weapon and a phone number. You guys went on many dates, of course your daughter doesn’t know who but you did tell carmine that Velvette was your daughter, because of the relationship officially being serious and now being girlfriends. you watched as she made a shocked face then it immediately turn to a smirk. Carmilla did the same saying that her daughters names are Clara and Odette, you then decided to introduce her to your daughter for dinner and carmine will bring hers as well for them to get to know you and Velvette.

“So mom who is this girlfriend of yours coming? and I need to know her so I can check her background make sure she’s not anything fishy.” You sat beside her as you just finished placing the food and plates down “no worry, my girlfriend is great I just know it, and besides she wants to introduce herself to you.

You made sure she didn’t grab the food yet until carmine and her daughters arrived, just as Velvette seemed impatient, you heard the doorbell ring.

“That must be them, and Velvette you better behave young lady I won’t stand you acting cheeky on them.” She rolled her eyes “I won’t mom.” You ignored that and walked to the door just then Carmilla and her girls walked in. “What are you doing here?!” “Can’t tell that I’m the girlfriend.” This made Velvette eyes widen and she gripped the fork she was holding.

You could tell that Velvette was pissed her glare harden as she watched Carmilla and her girls sit across from the both of you, “Velvette what did I just say.” You scolded her despite that she continued to glare especially at carmine “I’m sorry about that, ignore her let’s just get into with dinner.” “It’s quite alright (y/n), besides it’s nothing new to me.” This made you raise your eyebrow but continued on with dinner.

So you receive to ease the tension “so you two are overlords so I’m assuming you guys heard of each other.” You wanted Velvette and carmine to get along or at least be civil with each other. “Oh I know her, hey carmine aren’t you the one that objected on fighting back against angels?” Velvette mention out of the blue “what?” This made carmine roll her eyes “yes but i have good reasons for it.” “I guess two of you have meet.” Camilla brought her full attention to you instead “yes your daughter had, interesting ideas about how to deal with the exterminators.”

Then it went back to awkward silence but knowing Velvette, though you do love your daughter she usually the one of instigate things. “Well whatever happened we will be discussed after dinner, after all I didn’t slave away at dinner for nothing so eat up everyone. They all begin taking food You turned your attention to Carmilla’s daughters, how are two enjoying the food?” “It’s good Mrs.”spoke odette “Yes very delicious.” Agreed Clara. “No need for formalities dears call me (y/n).” They nodded their heads in understanding.

You all begin making conversation except Velvette who was keeping to herself, choosing to be on her phone while eating. After dinner was finished Carmilla complimented your cooking “it was delicious hun.” “Aww thank you.” You looked to see that it was dark out already “I know it wasn’t planned but it’s late and I don’t want you and your girls going out at night so you three should stay over. This made daughter fume in anger even more.

“Thank you love, I think it’s best as well, do you have pajamas for me and my daughters?” “Of course I’ll give you one of mine and for Clara and odette I’m sure Velvette has some clothes she made from her models that have the same body type as the girls.” “No way.” Interjected Velvette “no buts young lady besides it’s not a question it’s a demand.” You replied this made her eye twitch but she did it anyways.

Of spires she made sure to give them good outfits, she takes fashion very seriously. “Good thank you Velvette.” “You’re welcome.” She grumbled out, all five of you went up to the bedroom you showed the girls their rooms and Velvette went into her room for the night as well. “Good night girls sleep tight.” They all said goodnight in return.

When you weren’t looking carmine gripped velvettes shoulder and went closer to her whispering “I’m gonna go f$&k your mom.” She then walked away with a smirk towards your room without a word leaving velvette to her own shock and horror of the implication what you two will do that night.

She laid in bed in disbelief as she heard carmine and worst of all her mom’s moans in the other room she put her pillow around her head to cover her ears, hoping this nightmare of hers would be over.

<- Back to MasterList or back to Hazbin Hotel

[carmenized-onions]

It’s been a little while since you’ve posted on here so I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself!!! 💖

my darling loves, I'm so sorry

I'VE BEEN SO EMBARRASSED. I HAVEN'T WANTED TO SHOW MY FACE AROUND THIS TOWN BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF AFTER TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME AWAY FROM YOU ALL.

I've been. violently busy. in a good way, mostly. One of my jobs is the best job in the world and the other one is such a bitch it makes me scream every day forever.

but i'm also spending time with friends and enjoying life !

My mom also finished her last chemo appointment just a few weeks ago!!! YIPEEE!!!! Her CT Scans look GOOD!! so no chemo for the foreseeable future. She's unfortunately got the type of cancer that doesn't go away, but at the very least, it's MANAGEABLE. And that's a huge win. I'm very very grateful.

I ALSO FOUND A THERAPIST!!! gone to 2 sessions so far. every session she uncovers a new fucked up facet of me and honestly, can anyone else relate to this, it's sort of nice for someone else to look at your life and go like "oh wow. oh wow there's like. there's like so much here." like it feels good to think oh hurray. i'm not crazy. life IS fucked!

MY BROTHER MOVED!!! this took up a lot of my time, honestly. i love him and my nephew and my sister in law dearly. so i spent a long time making their gifts. i'm silly.

OUR CAT GOT SICK!!! HE'S GOT PEE CRYSTALS CAUSE HE'S OLD!!!!! HE'S DOING OKAY NOW THOUGH!! HIS STUPID URINARY FOOD IS SO EXPENSIVE THOUGH!!!

ANYWAYS. those are my major life updates right. So what's with the no chapter happening??

i. hated. the draft i'm working on so much. that i didn't work on it for like. a month.

and then in a haze. i left myself this voice to text note in my notes app as i was falling asleep one night.

then i hated that too. a week passes. perhaps two, actually.

i finally gain the courage one night to read my draft over.

it's actually not bad at all

it's actually pretty good

some scenes definitely need reworking but that's because i need to fully realize some character feelings

I just had really intense writers' block and fatigue, honestly. But i'm finally writing and EXCITED about it, again. I'm pulling that shit up on my commute and writing whenever i can. which makes me really happy. i was not loving the way it felt like a chore, for a minute there.

that said.

100% going to be more realistic with this chapter waiting timeline, and put a 'hiatus' or some sort of 'delays' tracker on my landing page. cause like. i keep saying check back in 2 weeks. and that's not fair to me or you girl. let's keep it real.

i think we're like.... hm... 50-60% there. (i'll update my landing the day after this post, it's late and i'm eepy)

i MIGHT write some blurbs in the mean time, it really depends. i keep having ideas and then they blink out of existence. perhaps send ideas. i might do something with them.

BUT YES I AM OKAY AND ALIVE. My silence came from a LOT of life stuff getting in the way and also a lot of honestly embarrassment. i hate coming out here over and over and being like haha. i've got nothing <3

but i know that y'all will understand, and i need to trust in y'all's patience more. and i'm GONNA!!!

gonna try to start up my 'answering one ask a day' trend again. except wednesdays. i work late on wednesdays so fuck that. but perhaps all the other days you'll hear from me.

alright. i'm going to shut up now. was any of this coherent? i don't know. thank you for listening!! i missed you dearly!!

[bokutosbiceps]

real deal

kure raian x f!reader | smut + some fluff | 2.2k words

summary: raian comes home from a job to find that you’ve replaced him with a little piece of plastic. he decides to show you why the real deal is always better

warnings: mentions of murder, cursing (it’s rai omg), nsfw under the cut, use of sex toy, cunnilingus, throat fucking, choking/gagging, pussy eating, fingering, rough sex, possessive sex, mating press, dirty talk

a/n: i’m dedicating this to @thebigevilsamp + @missmadness123 because i used to thirst over raian with these two so i figured you guys would appreciate this 🥹 i’m sorry for leaving LOL. oh + also @kenganparadise + @kengan-ass because i enjoyed their writing at the peak of the fandom 💕

18+ MINORS DNI

Raian swung his keys around on his index finger as he strolled back to his car, whistling a tune he’d had stuck in his head throughout his entire job. Erioh had sent him to kill some asshole who had been embezzling money from one of Erioh’s oldest friend’s company, and Raian couldn’t have been less intrigued. 

The job was easy, since the target was just an old dude. A simple squeeze of his hand had snapped the old man’s fragile cervical spine, extinguishing the last bit of life the guy had left in him. Whatever, he was probably going to die within the next 10 years anyways. But however easy the job was, it was equally long. The target rarely ever worked given his old age, and it took forever to get intel on when the old bag would show up to work. Raian was never able to figure out where he lived, either. He didn’t understand how old people could be so elusive.

I’ve just gotta go report back to old man Erioh and then I’ll finally be able to get home. Raian grunted to himself as he weaved in and out of traffic on his way to Kure Village. I wonder how my bitch is doing… Raian’s expression softened as he thought of coming home to you after being away for so long on this job. He would probably never get used to being received with such excitement and love when returning home from a job. Deep down, he loved it. And deep down, he missed you more and more as the days apart from you passed. He appreciated the short but sweet texts you would send him, telling him that you were thinking of him, or that you missed him, sometimes even complete with a cute or sexy photo of you.

Maybe he should do something nice for you. Since he was in a good mood.

Raian sneered as he slammed his car door shut after pulling up to a random supermarket. Dumb bitch, making me get her flowers. Why do women even like flowers? They’re so useless, can’t even eat them or use them as a weapon. Fucking hell. He grumbled to himself as he picked up some flowers, already knowing exactly which kind he would get since he had taken note of what types of flowers you liked to adorn the kitchen table with in the house. He could be observant when he wanted. He threw some cash at the cashier and stalked back to his car, speeding to Kure Village so he could debrief Erioh and be on his merry way to your arms.

“It’s finished, old man.” Raian leaned against the door frame to Erioh’s office, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he watched his grandfather raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m surprised it took you so long. I was starting to wonder if you’d finally pissed someone off enough to get yourself killed.” Erioh cackled at how quickly Raian’s smirk disappeared.

“Kill? Me?” Raian snorted. “You know better, you old bastard, no one can kill me.” Raian straightened once he remembered your flowers were resting in the front seat of his car, likely shriveling up in the sweltering heat of the afternoon. “I’m leaving. If you need anything else, don’t.” Raian turned on his heel and waved to Erioh as he exited his house.

“Raian.” Erioh called out to him and Raian huffed as he turned back around to face his grandfather, glaring at him expectantly. “I’m giving you the next two weeks off. Spend some time with your woman.” Erioh smiled slyly and sat down at his desk. “If I’m going to be appointing you as head of the clan anytime soon, I’ll be wanting to see that you are capable of upholding your bloodline.” Erioh gave Raian a pointed look. “Get busy.”

Raian scoffed as he continued to make his way out of Erioh’s house. Way ahead of you.

It took Raian less than 3 minutes to drive the short distance from Erioh’s house in the depths of Kure Village to his own home somewhere in the upper ring of the village.

He unlocked the front door and entered the silent house with flowers in hand, somewhat disappointed that you weren’t jumping into his arms to greet him like you usually did. It’s what he got for trying to surprise you with his return.

“Y/n?” Raian called out as he walked from the front room to the living room, stopping in the kitchen to set the flowers down on the table next to the vase filled with almost identical flowers. He heard a small buzzing noise coming from down the hall and followed the noise to the bedroom. What he found was a delicious sight.

You were lying on the California king, legs open wide, chest heaving, and lips parted in pleasure as you held something small and colorful and vibrating to your clit.

“Hmm, the fuck is going on here?” Raian’s deep drawl shook you out of your haze of pleasure, causing you to immediately close your legs and sit up in slight fear and embarrassment.

“Rai, I didn’t know you were coming home.” Your voice was breathless, your hair slightly tousled, and your cheeks held a shade of arousal that Raian found so delectable. He approached the bed in one long stride and snatched the vibrator out of your hand before you could even think to hide it. “I missed you.” You said bashfully, watching as Raian inspected the toy that fit in between his large fingers.

“You missed me so you tried to replace me with this thing?” Raian challenged, crushing the vibrator between his fingers and shifting his gaze to you.

“Nothing can replace you, Rai.” You sat up onto your knees to become level with Raian, who was still standing by the bedside, now brushing the remnant of your brand new vibrator onto the floor. You slid your hands underneath his shirt and up his chest. “Fusui just…suggested it to me. She knew I was missing you and you never told me when you’d be back…a girl has her needs, y’know.”

“So did that little fucking toy satisfy your needs?” Raian seized your hands with one of his hands and used his other hand to grip your face. You shook your head in blatant and hurried denial. “Good, I’m glad my bitch knows the difference between a piece of plastic and the real deal.”

Raian wasted no time in pushing you back on the bed and placing his knees on either side of your naked body, dragging his shirt off while you made quick work of his belt and pushed his jeans down to expose the bulge in his boxers.

“You see how hard I am already, bitch? This was your plan all along, hm? For me to come home and see my bitch all laid out on the bed for me, ready to be fucked?” Raian sank his teeth into your shoulder, rutting his hips so that his bulge was rubbing against your pussy. You gasped at the sudden contact and wrapped your legs around his hips obediently, giving him more access. “Good girl.” He growled, moving his hands down to squeeze and knead your ass.

“Rai, fuck—I missed you, so much.” You breathed, bucking your hips against his boxers, getting them soaked in your arousal.

Raian sat back on his heels, eyes raking over your naked body which was trembling with excitement at the evening ahead of you. He looked down at his boxers and frowned. “Dirty girl, huh? Getting my boxers all wet with your pussy juices.” He stood up briefly to take off his boxers, releasing his girthy cock and letting it slap against his lower abdomen. You drooled at the site of his pre-cum leaking out in beads from his tip.

Raian kneeled back on the bed and grabbed a fistful of your hair, coaxing your lips closer to his cock until it was fully shoved down your throat. He warmed his cock in your throat until he noticed tears forming at the corner of your eyes and decided to give a good, strong thrust into your mouth, causing you to gag.

“My bitch is gonna gag on my cock, huh? Did you miss the way it tastes? Are you gonna take all this cum for me?” He bullied you, fucking your throat despite your gagging and choking until he was shooting ropes of cum down into your stomach. He slid out of your mouth and let you catch your breath while pushing you back down on the bed and pressing kisses down your neck, to your breasts, to your navel, before placing a chaste kiss to your clit, making you whine and arch your back.

“Does my girl want me to fuck her cunt with my tongue?” Raian smirked at your whining as you twisted his hair in your fists, trying to push your hip into his face. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you t-to fuck me, Rai.” You breathed. “I missed your cock so much, baby.” Raian clicked his tongue before pushing one, then two, then three fingers inside of you, eliciting a high pitched whine from you that originated from deep in your chest.

“Not yet, bitch.” Raian pumped his fingers in and out of you as he licked a stripe up your clit. “I’ve gotta torture you first.” Raian continued fucking you with his fingers and licking and sucking on your clit until your thighs were trembling and he was sure you were about to cum. Just when you felt like you were about to fall over the edge, Raian abandoned your pussy, making you shiver slightly at the cold air that replaced his touch.

You lifted your heavy head to see Raian kneeling again, stroking his cock and spreading his pre-cum to make sure he could fuck you easily. You eyed his cock hungrily, remembering how just moments ago that thing had been shoved down your throat so far you could barely breathe.

Without any warning, Raian hoisted your legs onto his shoulders and leaned down in between your legs to lick greedily up your neck before capturing your lips in a rough kiss, almost feral, that left you dizzy. Raian’s lips put you into such a trance that the pressure of Raian pushing his cock inside of you made you squeal in surprise, throwing your head and arching your back, making Raian’s angle inside of you even deeper.

“Fuck, babe, how could I resist the feeling of your pussy squeezing my cock like this?” Raian picked up the pace, bottoming out with every thrust. “How much did you miss me?” Raian gripped your chin and forced you to look at him, but your eyes were rolling into the back of your head from the pleasure of Raian’s cock filling you up. “Look at me, bitch, tell me how much you missed me fucking you like this.”

You willed yourself to meet Raian’s feral gaze, which made your walls squeeze around Raian’s cock even tighter as he fucked you into the bed. “I missed you so much—baby, I-I dreamed about you coming home and—f-fucking me just like this.”

“Hm, good answer.” Raian's pace started to become erratic and his hips stuttered. “I think I’m gonna let you cum. Is that what you want?” You managed to moan out a yes as Raian’s thrusts became rougher and he squeezed your hips with his fingers, hard enough to leave bruises. He growled as he neared his release and the sound was the final straw to bring on your climax. Raian was not far behind you and he released into you as he bit your bottom lip before smoothing it over with his tongue.

Once he was sure he had emptied the last drop of his cum into your cunt, he slipped out of you and threw himself down onto the bed next to you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest. He let you catch your breath before continuing his bullying.

“So me or the toy?” He asked through a smirk. You huffed.

“Rai, shut up. I was just desperate, you were gone for a long time.” You said the last part quietly.

Raian felt a twinge of guilt poke him in the chest. He frowned and ran his hands down your back, squeezing your ass. “Sorry.” He mumbled. Two weeks didn’t seem like that long when he was focused on a job, but he had never thought of how long it must’ve seemed to you when you had to deal with his family every day.

“It’s fine.” You stifled a yawn and curled yourself further into Raian’s chest. “Just as long as you come back to me every time.”

The corner of Raian’s mouth turned upward into what could have been regarded as a smile, had you seen it. He just grunted in agreement. Nothing could keep me away.

[missheavenfield1215]

Have you noticed that Beetlejuice and The Corpse Bride have the same climax??

A dead person

Who wants to marry a living person

Although it was against the will of that living person

When I realized this... I couldn't stop drawing

Beetlejuice ~Corpse Bride AU~

*In this AU, everyone is an adult*

*All my drawings are below in this post*

In this AU, Lydia takes the role of Victor, Beetlejuice is Emily, Elder Gudnekt could be Otto, Adam and Barbara would be the Everglot couple (of course, here, they have no bad intentions).

Lydia and her father, Charles, come from the great city of London, to expand their funeral services franchise, in addition to having gone through another marriage.

Charles had Lydia's mother, Emily, who passed away when she was 8 years old. At work, Charles met Delia, who was suffering from a fatal illness, but never told Charles that she was sick. So 4 years after their wedding, Delia also passed away.

To forget his grief, Charles became obsessed with his work and abandoned Lydia in their grief (as she also got along well with her). Lydia doesn't want to get married and hates the idea of being trapped forever in a useless marriage, which will only take away her freedom. Although she thinks that marriage is just a contract, deep inside her, she really feels that if she falls in love, it will only bring her pain and sorrow, just like her father.

Beetlejuice, here called Lawrence Shaggoth, is the only son of the honorable aristocratic marriage Shaggoth. In his youth Lawrence had a preference for men, but despite that, Adam was one of his friends. But when the time came for Lawrence to marry a young woman that his own mother raised so that Lawrence would "become normal." Juno is a homophobic bitch, so after receiving the news that her son was eloping with his lover, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Juno bribed Lawrence's lover, who really only wanted the young man's money. Juno told the boy that she would pay him whatever he wanted, if he took Lawrence, destroyed him emotionally and murdered him. The boy did so, but the young woman Juno had "adopted", Angeline (Miss Argentina) had witnessed the whole sinister plan.

Juno learned that once Lawrence married, he would inherit everything as stipulated in his father's will. So, to continue with the lie, Juno took a young prostitute to "convince" Lawrence to escape and leave everything behind and thus demarcate him from the surname Shaggoth, since in her eyes, Lawrence was unworthy of such a title. But it turned out that she found out about his affair with a boy, and apparently he was cheating on him.

Lawrence, about to die and feeling betrayed and very scared, recites a poem to calm himself, but he does not know that this poem would be his condemnation and his salvation. Once the conditions stipulated in the poem were met, it would come back to life.

That's why Lawrence needs Lydia to marry him, because then he will come back to life, but he doesn't really have the idea of really falling in love with that "someone" to help him.

Here Adam and Barbara are also aristocrats, but their family name is in decline and they are on the verge of poverty. They decide to adopt Adam's youngest nephew, named Vincent, to prepare him for a marriage with which they can cope with the imminent poverty that awaits their family. They believe it would be best if Vincent chooses his future wife, and he chooses Lydia to marry and she is forced to do so by her father.

Lydia runs away from the engagement after finishing the wedding rehearsal and, as if to mock her father, she says: "I'd rather marry a dead person than someone who doesn't know me!"

It is then that Lawrence appears and proposes to marry him and when he comes back to life, he will help her escape the country and her father.

But neither of them really expected to fall in love with each other when they got to know each other in depth.

But there is the problem of Juno, who no longer has money and it is then that she uses Lydia's disappearance to extort money from Charles and promise him that she will look for the young woman.

And after thinking about all that... That's when I started drawing

"I just want to be alive... And I... "

"I don't want to be alone"

"In this cruel world"

These are small test sketches

Here's a closer shot of a Beetlejuice killed by his lover...

This is Lawrence, moments before his death. When his lover asked him to elope with some of the wealth, Lawrence dressed in his white wedding suit, but it was dyed red when a shotgun bullet pierced his ribs. (yes in the same place where Lydia stabbed him in the musical, both wounds were caused by a stab wound in the back... A betrayal)

Well... I had many things to say... But in essence that is the basis of everything.

This AU really works with any version of Beetlejuice, but mostly works best with the Headcanons of the musical.

(New information, I'm going to upload the update on my headcanons about this AU, when the post is ready, here will be a link)

[lovelykil]

「 Halloween 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; little nsfw

note; me when uhh mee whennn ermm uhhh me when cowboy kyle ohhhhhhhhhhhgod

black reader implied

I whipped out my phone to take a picture of my cowboy boots next to Kyle's to post on my Instagram as we waited for Kenny and Eric to finish getting their candy. We stood on the sidewalk waiting for them to get back.

It seemed like forever I mean how long does it take to just get your candy and go?

I had already posted the picture on my account and still they weren't back.

Kyle huffed in frustration feelings the same then felt his pockets since it vibrated.

"Did you tag me in something" He asked before even looking at his phone. I giggled lightly, putting my phone in my jean pocket.

"How'd you know?"

"Cause you always tag me in something, I swear." He opened his phone, going to insta.

I swung my bag of candy slowly from boredom, my eyes wondering around. I saw other groups of people walk from house to house, kids running around in their little costumes and some houses going way out for this Halloween. Webs everywhere with giant spiders in the middle, tall ass Skeletons in their front yard, smokey-like air filling the yard with gravestones in the grass as zombie like hands reach out to bring in an unattended little kid down to the underground, and bright red scary lights hung from their houses.

South Park went big for this year, that's for sure

Kyle set his bag of candy down on the concrete to hold his phone better as he probably tapped through our friend's stories from tonight, an hour ago Wendy posted her and Stan's costume, they went as Mavis and Johnny from hotel transylvania.

Which was totally cute, they went trick or treating with Bebe and Clyde not sure why they didn't join us though but it's whatever.

It was maybe cause every damn year we go and do this Eric likes to bitch about the candy and start a whole scene with the person handing out candy.

oh wait..

My head whipped back around to find cartman and to NO surprise he was waving his arm in the air with candy, even from way over here I could hear him shout in his barbie costume.

Surprisingly Kenny and him matched.. can you guess?

barbie and ken

If it wasn't obvious

His blonde hair wig bounced all around as he yelled I saw Kenny bring his hand to his face, shaking it slowly.

I groaned to myself, rolling my eyes into their sockets.

"Cartmans being a dick again.." I muttered. I looked over at the ginger in his cowboy costume. He looked up from his phone, squinted then rolled his eyes.

"That fucking asshole- hold on I'll be back." He put his phone back in his pocket then walked his way onto the drive way of the house, his boots clanked on the hard floor following the path to the front door to drag Eric back.

I watched,, more like studied him.

Okay I lied, fonded over.

Me and him went as cowboys this year he wasn't to big of a fan of this though.

"You want to go dressed as cowboys this Halloween?" Kyle put down his pencil and spun his chair to look at me. I set on the edge of his bed with my phone to my chest and my legs swinging in excitement. I nodded, even smiling.

He looked at me like I had a screw loose in my head or something, to which I clicked my tounge and leaned off the bed.

"I think it would be cool, I like cowboys" I walked over to him, pouting. He took off his glasses with to rub his over worked eyes.

"Don't you think we're to old to be trick or treating? I mean we can just eat candy and watch movies at my house for the night." He put his hand down, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

I stared at him in disbelief, obviously very offended. I set my hand on my hip turning my head in offense.

"I'm not that old!"

He watched me walk back to his bed andturn over to lay on my side as I sulked on my phone, he sighed and got up from his chair to crawl over next to me.

"You're kinda of a baby you know"

"I love trick or treating."

"Alright fine we can go, sorry." He played with a stain of my curly hair, curling it around just to let it go and watch it coil back to its regular curl. I turned over, sitting up.

My eyes lit up, I put my hands on his shoulders "Really?"

"Yes" He chuckled, nodding. I smiled, pecking his nose then went to grab my phone.

"Okay we are sooo going to need to buy these, also I have a spare cowboy hat back at my house that will look so good on you." I showed him the clothes, my voice trembling with pure happiness.

"Okay but why cowboy?" He questioned, grabbing my phone for himself to scroll through the clothes we needed. I was about to answer his question when I paused, remembering the reason I wanted to do this in the first place.

I mean I initially did like western things but.. the other reason behind it..

My cheeks burned my dark face, I rubbed the back of my neck as my eyes darted elsewhere.

"Uhm no clue like I said I just like cowboys, they are cool.."

"Mmmm, okay I guess."

The real reason was because I just wanted to see him in clothes like that, he's pretty tall with a pretty face and a small waist though still masculine in every way.

Him in brown boots, a button up black shirt, sliver western buckle belt to go with his low rise boot cut jeans that fit his figure complimented with chaps to wear with, and a cowboy hat to top it off.

And of course his rope that he could totally just use on me, maybe tie my wrist together and hold them over my head as his slender fingers make contact with my bare skin from beneth my button shirt. His voice low telling me to keep quiet each time I whimper to his touch.

His eyes filled with lust watching me struggle to fulfill his demand once his fingers inch near my temple, rubbing my pearl slowly. He'd smirk from above taking off his hat to set it on the bed.

"Want me to go down on you baby?" He'd whisper in such a suggestive tone, his smirk making my legs tremble. I'd nod nervously and watch him hum a response, unbuttoning my pants.

"Yeah you do, my pretty girl."

And possibly maybe his–

"CARTMAN GOD DAMMIT COME ON!"

"NO LET ME GO, THEY GAVE ME A TOOTH BRUSH KAHL, A FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH. WHO DOES THAT?" My flash back came to a quick end, hearing loud voices coming near me. I blinked, looking around for a second gaining conscience.

"oh shit." I whispered, feeling my face burn.

"There's other houses still fatass, you'll be okay." Kyle dragged Eric back to the spot as Kenny followed.

He looked so damn fine in that hat, his angry expression just made his outfit look 100 times better on him.

I felt my heart race and a nervous feeling washing over me.

"Sorry that took long, ready to continue Y/n?" He let got of Eric, dropping him on the concrete. The barbie shouted in frustration to the jew, fixing his messy blonde wig.

My eyes traced up at Kyle just realizing how small I was compared to him, I wasn't even that short and he literally towered me.

I swallowed some extra spit, avoiding his gaze. "yeah..uh let's.. let's go." I turned around to start the walk to the next house. If I stared at him more I think I would've probably started to make out with him in front of these kids which I was not going to do.

So many explicit thought flooded my god forsaken mind as we continued the walk to the houses I wanted to bang my head on a wall.

There wasn't much I could do anyway Kyle had no clue I was suffering from him, he kept arguing with cartman but still held my hand since I wanted him too.

I could feel my body grow hot especially my lower region, my cool breath was soon hot and thick.

As we approached another house I gripped Kyle's hand for him to stop. The other duo went ahead of us as I kept Kyle back.

He turned around confused, looking down.

"Something wrong Y/-"

"I need you badly right now ky, need you to tie me up with that rope of yours." I pointed to the rope on his waist, pleading. His stunned eyes met my begging ones he was quiet and didn't say anything from shock.

"You want to cut this short then?" He pointed to the decorated house to which I nodded, feeling a little sad then again that was the least thing on my mind at the moment.

He faltered with a blush, his contact still on me. I stepped closer to him, my hand feeling around his pant area begging some more. Anything I would do just for him to take me home so he can have his way with me in this cowboy wear.

"you just look so good right now, I don't think I can hold myself back for much longer.."

"o-oh?" He watched me feel up on him, his face growing redder. Just moments later I felt a bump growing from beneath his pants as my fingers teased him.

He whined, his hips leaning towards me.

"fuck.." He muttered from pleasure mixed with shame. I giggled, moving my hand away from him.

"Now you have to take me home."

"Okay fine.." He gave in, looking around to check if the coast was clear to flee.

He took my hand soon enough and walked away from the previous house we were at, I held onto his hand in content.

As we walked, trying to find his car he looked over at me needing the feeling to ask something.

"I have a feeling you picked these costumes just so you can see me in this." He stated. I looked at him then turned away once I felt myself get nervous.

"Maybe, or maybe not.. who knows?"

"Mhm.." He hummed.

A silence fell between us then was disturbed when he snickered lightly.

"You're so horny it's crazy." He laughed, I scoffed with a blush.

"Says the one with a walking boner right now."

"Oh shit I forgot about that, kids are here oh my god.."

[marycom15]

Was looking through my (now mostly abandoned) twitter account and got a bit emotional looking at older art. So time to yap for an hour. Warning that this is... rather long.

As all good things do, it all started with me getting obsessed with my OC (read: dnd character). I did not know how to draw at that point, and had no intention of learning - I just took a "fashion base" and drew over it because I wanted to show my friends how her clothes looked like.

I read through so much information on 1850's fashion, just to fail when it came to the execution 😭 her dress was supposed to have a pagoda skirt.

I never actually posted this one outside of my friend groups. The first art I actually posted was..

Yep. That fucking windy ass twink bitch. I was OBSESSED with him. Ok i lied I AM obsessed with him. I haven't opened genshin in months but sometimes i lay at night and think about him and Zhongli getting divorced. He's my favourite grandpa ever (he looks like a twink)

FREMINETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the character ever. The obsession never faded btw in case you couldn't tell by the fact that he's still my discord pfp. I tried a small challenge to draw him daily, and frankly it was absolutely fucked up because instead of doodling or something i was trying to pump out full pieces daily, which, understandably, really wore me out.

Still, I'm glad I tried. Comparing the first Freminet drawing to the last kind of still makes me proud..

Valentines Zhongven intermission

Doodles doodles doodles!!! I made a lot of these at school, and I really think they helped me figure out posing. Since I had to fit my silly characters in-between my notes, I was forced to draw them in poses other than IdlyStanding001 (sometimes with a peace sign included).

For a very short period of time i became obsessed with drawing Scaramouche being bitchy about my schoolwork, as you may notice. I think i peaked there.

In the meantime, I also made a lot more Freminet drawings. Like a lot. he was my #1 subject really, and I consider myself a Freminet expert. Im posting this drawing because i really like the concept and maybe i should do a redraw at some point

Ah yes my doodle page. Which wasnt for doodling. I just didnt feel like creating a new file for every drawing so i dumped them all in one. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Turning point of the century - I discovered different brushes! So far I've been pretty much working exclusively with the standard pen from CSP, but this is the point where i downloaded one (1) additional brush. I felt like such an artist.

This art is also kind of important to me because.. I still don't hate it? I could definitely do better now, but I feel like I could still post this one and not stress too much about what others will think. That's probably why this one was my PFP for so long.

Enora intermission - she's doing well! During this whole process she was kept well fed and well played, as the campaign she was made for started. She even got a slight redesign! Frankly, I never finished the redesign art, but you can get an exclusive forever unfinished WIP. I hope that before you judge you remind yourself that i was still trying to figure out how to draw faces that didn't look like AnimeBase3

Yeah. At least the hair kind of looks good !

If you're wondering where the kind of odd head shape came from, it's from this exact drawing. Yeah. Definitely not proud of it anymore, but it's the thought that counts ! I tried analysing how one of my favourite artsits drew heads, but... Clearly lacked sufficient skill. Oh Freminet, you do not deserve to look like this...

Oh my gosh the ship chart ! Frankly I completely forgot about it. I was so excited since I had a lot of ships I was eager to draw, but, well... I am a Mary first and foremost. So I forgor. Actually I may try to do this again... We'll see.

Oh look im back in my doodling phase here and... looks closer... by god.... no.....

............................AFK Journey..............................

This was right before my final final high school exams. Yknow the ones at the end of your high school. Like you're leaving that place forever. So understandably, I was a bit (lot) stressed. This lead me to many places - those fuckass exams got me into ASMR, Otome, and most importantly.... AFK Journey.

I have many thoughts about that fuckass game. So many. But it is crucial to undestand that i started playing it, IMMEDIATELLY became supremely obsessed with the characters (by god the writing was so shit. Please never play it), logged on for hours on end throughout the whole exam month, and once the exams were over I dropped it right off the bat and never looked back.

Anyway this is all important to note because AFK Journey made me draw my first men kissing art ever. Yay? Valmer nation get your food??? idk. When i posted it they didnt really have a shipname, and i could find maybe 3 arts with the ship being implied. All of them with the female version of the protagonist.

It was a phase, okay. At least the arts kind of looked good

Exam intermission

Scaramouche intermission. (This one's actually important. At around this time i realised i can just Draw. Like casually. It was so freeing, knowing that I can just literally draw something silly without hating it to the core. I finally gained the power to make silly images. So of course I had to draw scaramouche honda ad.)

Jesterina!!! She's my friend's OC and I love her to bits. This art is important for the marycom15 community, because i learned how to make timelapses! first marycom timelapse!!! yippie :D

THE TENMA SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!! One of the few older arts im still proud of. Actually I'm fairly sure I uploaded it to tumblr as well. I lied im 100% sure because it was my first ever post and it was an amazing introduction to the tumblr ecosystem - I posted an art that got barely any attention on other platforms, and got people hitting my Tsukasa over the head with a metal pipe. Absolutely glorious. I need to draw more of them.

Unfortunately, I reached the limit of images per post , however I'M NOT DONE!!!!!!!!! see you in a reblog

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 3, Chapter 3

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 (maybe 4??) parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 3

Chapter 3

The next morning, Matt smiled as he walked passed the florist on his way to work, the rich, heady scent of roses filling the air.

Yesterday, that fragrant reminder of the upcoming romantic celebration had only added to his bad mood - the bad mood caused by a week spent worrying about Calina and her strange phone call, and a month and a half spent missing her. The fact that Valentine’s Day was approaching meant he was bitterly reminded of what was taken from them, and what other couple’s took for granted - the chance to be with each other.

But today, he was actually feeling…optimistic.

Calina may have been a few days early, but she’d given him the perfect Valentine’s gift:

Hope.

Her brief visit last night had spurned him out of his morose despondency. It was the catalyst he’d needed to realise that it was time to stop dwelling on the negatives and obsessing over what they’d lost.

Instead, it was time to focus on the positives. They were both still alive. Still healthy. And still fighting for each other. Distance didn’t matter. Being temporarily separated didn’t matter. They loved each other. They would have the rest of their lives together. A few months apart was nothing compared to the years to come.

Matt had been dealt some crap hands throughout his life - losing his sight. Losing his father. Losing again and again. But he’d always found a reason to stay in the game. To accept the defeats and find the will to carry on playing.

This was no different.

He just had to have faith that God’s plan would reveal itself.

And this morning, he felt like he was finally getting a glimpse of the tapestry. He was finally seeing the beauty in the chaos. This separation would only strengthen them as a couple. It would serve to reinforce their bond, and ensure that they never took each other - or their happiness together - for granted.

“You seem…better,” Karen commented when Matt reached the office.

Matt shrugged. “I feel better.”

“That’s good.” She gifted him with a wide smile, and Foggy patted him on the shoulder.

It made Matt realise how much his foul mood had been impacting his friends and their workplace. “I’m sorry, guys,” he said. “For being such a miserable bastard the last couple of months.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘miserable bastard’,” Foggy replied. “That’s a bit harsh. ‘Forlorn asshole’, maybe. Or ‘wretched son of a bitch’ would be more accurate.”

Matt laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll try to be more upbeat from now on.”

“What brought on this sudden change in attitude?” Foggy asked.

Matt couldn’t help his smile. “I saw Calina last night.”

“So you got laid! That explains everything!”

Karen slapped Foggy’s chest with the back of her hand. “God, Foggy.”

Matt just laughed. “No, it was just a quick visit. But it helped give me some perspective. It’s like you said, Fog - this is just a long distance relationship. It won’t last forever…and other couples go through similar experiences all the time.”

“Exactly, man. Astronauts.”

Matt smiled. “Yeah. Astronauts.”

“She’s Neil Armstrong, and you’re the little lady waiting back on earth.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Something like that.”

“Okay,” Foggy said, rubbing his hands together. “Well, since you’re in such a good mood, you can take point on the meeting with the new nightmare client, while I finish off the brief for the Chisholm case.”

“Nightmare client?” Matt asked.

“Yeah, a tenant dispute case. They’re arriving at 10.”

“Fine,” Matt agreed. Liaising with a difficult client was the least he could do to make up for his less than stellar performance the last couple of months. “But I have something to do first.” He held up the USB drive that Calina had slipped to him last night.

“What’s that?” Karen asked.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

Matt booted up his computer and plugged in the device. It contained a single large document which he printed off in braille and started scanning through. At first there was just a list of chemicals - the results of the analysis by the Widow scientist - but then Calina added some context.

And it changed everything.

“Guys?” he called out. “You gotta hear this.”

“What is it?” Karen said, taking a seat on the other side of his desk. Foggy joined them a moment later and leaned against the door frame.

“Calina found something.” Matt spun his monitor around to show the document on the screen. “Apparently, one of the main ingredients of the fear pheromone is something called Arsonium bromide. Its a chemical that environmental groups have been calling for greater regulation on, because it’s disposal has been linked to soil contamination which is affecting agriculture yields across the country. Those environmental groups were successful in convincing a prominent politician to lobby their cause to the EPA last year.”

“Okay,” Karen said slowly. “How does this help us?”

“That prominent politician was Governor Andrew Benson.”

“The guy Calina was supposed to assassinate?”

“Yes.” Matt leaned forward as he laid out Calina’s theory. “Two days after the failed assassination, Benson suddenly, and without warning, withdrew his petition to the EPA, and walked back all his previous objections to the chemical.”

“Somebody got to him,” Karen added. “Somebody with a vested interest in the use of Arsonium bromide.”

“Exactly. With Benson’s support, the environmental groups were gaining traction in their fight. So someone tried to take Benson out. And when that failed, they likely played off the assassination attempt as a warning.”

“Do as we say, or next time it’ll be for real,” Foggy guessed. “Which means whoever is behind the manufacture of the fear pheromone-”

“Is the same person who arranged for Calina to be reactivated,” Karen finished.

“It’s all connected,” Matt said. “If we find out who created the pheromone, we find out who ordered Calina’s mind control. And vice versa - if we can find out who paid to have their very own Widow assassin, we find our pheromone guy.”

“Holy shit,” Karen whispered, tilting the monitor so she could read through the information on the screen.

“I take it the Widows are concentrating on finding out who bought Calina’s ‘services’, for want of a better term?” Foggy asked, reading the screen over Karen’s shoulder.

“As much as they can - but they’re more focussed on hunting down Volkov. He’s the bigger threat to them right now. Which means we’ll be doing them a favour if we find this information first.”

“So where do we begin?” Foggy asked.

“I say we concentrate on researching this chemical. Where its manufactured, who buys it, and how.”

“I’ll start today,” Karen answered, scribbling in her notebook.

“What does this mean?” Foggy said, pointing to something on Matt’s screen.

“Which part?” Matt asked, shuffling through his print outs.

“The last sentence. It says, ‘I hope this helps, shereen-am.’ What is ‘shereen-am’?”

Matt tried to control his reaction. “It’s nothing. Just an inside joke.”

It wasn’t nothing. And it wasn’t a joke. But it was something private, just between Matt and Calina. He’d googled the phrase before calling the others into his office and found that it was a Persian term of endearment. Roughly translated from Farsi into English it meant ‘Honey’.

By using that term, Calina was reminding him of Christmas Day, when she’d whispered all those terms of endearment into his ear as they’d made love on the couch.

She was reminding him of a happier time, to help get him through the dark and lonely days to come.

Matt smiled as he skimmed his fingers over that word again: Shereen-am.

Calina’s visit last night had given him hope. The information on the USB had given him a lead. And the affectionate nickname on the end of her message had given him a glimpse of how things would be between them in the future.

It was a promise, of better times ahead.

———

“And then he grabbed her and kissed her!”

“It was like something out of a movie - the way he dipped her back, and with the two of them bathed in the moonlight with the stars twinkling overhead…”

Calina groaned and sank into her chair as Katya and Inessa gushed to the other Widows about Matt’s antics on the boat last night. The three of them had arrived back at the mansion at dawn, and after a brief nap, they were now debriefing the rest of the team.

But it had gotten a little side-tracked.

“‘Bathed in the moonlight’?” Sofia repeated. “Come on, Inessa, I think you’ve been reading too many of those romance novels.”

“But that’s exactly what it was like!” the younger Widow protested. “It was the most romantic, swoon-worthy thing I’ve ever seen!”

“That’s not really saying much, given the way we were raised,” Viktoria commented.

Inessa rolled her eyes, and opened her mouth to respond but Anya cut her off. “Enough about Calina’s love life. Did you find the warehouse?”

Calina sat up again. “Yes, enough about me. Tell them what you found.”

Anya had found mention on Ranieri’s laptop of a recent real estate transaction. Which wasn’t unusual in itself - the Ranieri family seemed to prioritise property and commercial investments over gambling on the stock market. But while the rest of Salvatore’s portfolio made sense for a party guy in his late twenties - night clubs, bars, trendy apartments in major cities across the world - a former wholesale carpet warehouse in an industrial estate in New Jersey did not.

So Katya and Inessa had been tasked with scoping it out. 

Katya tossed a USB stick to Anya. “Photographs and schematics as requested. The place was deserted - no personnel on the grounds - but it was spotless, with signs of a recent professional clean. It’s definitely being prepped for something.”

“Like a lab to manufacture the mind control serum,” Sofia guessed.

“Possibly,” Yelena interjected. “But we can’t get ahead of ourselves. We need more evidence. We need to be sure before we make any moves.”

“Agreed,” Anya chimed in.

“Which is why we planted a few cameras,” Inessa said with a cocky grin. “And several bugs. We’ll know soon enough what the plan is for that building.”

“Good,” Yelena responded. She looked around the room at the rest of the Widows. And a rare smile graced her face. “I know I just told you all to be cautious…but I have a good feeling about this. I think this is how we get Volkov. I think this will all be over soon.”

Several of the women whooped and cheered in response - a sign that Calina wasn’t the only one who was looking forward to this confinement ending.

And it also proved to Calina how much the Widows had come out of their shells over the last few months. They laughed more readily now. They expressed their emotions without prompting. Conversations flowed instead of stuttered, and there was an easy camaraderie between everyone.

The stilted, angry, and bitter atmosphere that often pervaded the base in South Carolina didn’t exist here in Maine. And Calina knew it had nothing to do with the change in scenery - the weather outside the mansion was dark and grey and wet these days, holding little of the sunny, vibrant beauty of Charleston.

Time was the reason.

They’d been given time to start the healing process. To learn about themselves and the world around them. Time to find their little moments of joy.

Joy that even Volkov couldn’t take away. If anything, the looming threat that he posed had the opposite effect - as if the Widows were defiantly enjoying themselves even more to spite him and his attempts to force them back into an emotionless, violent existence.

Calina would be sorry to leave this place when the time came. She no longer felt the need to escape this environment. Not like in the beginning, when she’d first been freed. Back then, she’d felt suffocated by all the pain and rage around her. She’d wanted to strike out on her own and discover who she was away from that toxic environment.

But everything was different now. Now she would miss living here with all her sisters.

Though not as much as she missed Matt.

Seeing him last night had been a rollercoaster ride. She’d swung from the lowest low of wanting to escape his presence, to the highest high from that kiss. Because as much as it made Calina cringe, Inessa’s description had been spot-on - it had been the most wonderful, romantic, swoon-worthy gesture in the history of the world.

But on the journey back to Maine, the high had worn off. And all her doubts and fears - and all the guilt - had come flooding back.

And all of it boiled down to one thing - she didn’t feel worthy of him.

She didn’t feel worthy of the kind of man who would fly a hundred feet through the air just to kiss her. She didn’t feel worthy of a man as amazing and kind and smart as Matt. A man who fiercely protected the strangers in his city, and could touch her with such reverent tenderness.

The kiss had made her forget all that. It had short-circuited her brain and over-rode all her negative emotions, until the only thing left was passion. She’d given in to the moment, to the feel of being in Matt’s arms again.

Which she’d known would happen. It was the reason she’d chosen that cramped, awkward crane jib as their meeting point in the first place. She’d known that if they’d met in his apartment, or on the pier - or anywhere else out in the open - he would have taken her in his arms and she would have been powerless to resist. She would have accepted his embrace and returned his kiss all the while feeling undeserving of him.

So she’d chosen that metal cage instead, as a way to deny herself.

As a punishment.

But he’d gotten around her little ploy. He’d kissed the life out of her on that boat deck, and everything else had faded away. How guilty she felt about Italy. How scared she was that if he truly knew her and everything she’d done as a Widow that he’d hate her.

How terrified she was that they were too good to be true.

“Calina!”

Calina lifted her head at the sound of her name. The other widows were all staring at her. “Huh?” she asked.

“You spaced out there,” Inessa explained.

“Sorry. Just tired,” she lied. “I’m going to head back to bed.”

The chorus of ‘Byes’ and ‘Sleep wells’ from her sisters followed Calina up the stairs, but she was already lost in thought again.

She didn’t know what to do about Matt and all these doubts she was having.

Did she share them with him? Admit her fears about not being worthy of his love? Could she even explain them without having to divulge all the dirty secrets of her past? Wouldn’t that just bring about the end of their relationship and defeat the purpose of the whole ‘sharing’ thing?

Calina fell forward onto her bed and smothered her frustrated groan with her pillow. Then she flipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling as she contemplated the alternative scenario: being with Matt, with this constant pit of worry in her stomach. Revelling in his affection and his love whilst always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A tear leaked from the corner of Calina’s eye as she wrestled with all of these unfamiliar emotions. A tiny part of her longed for the days of being an unfeeling automaton…but she quickly squashed that treacherous notion.

This was better.

Despite all the uncertainty and pain and confusion, dealing with these emotions was far better than living as a shell of a human being under the Red Room’s control.

“Hey, you okay?”

Calina hastily wiped away the tear as Katya entered their room. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Liar,” Katya teased, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’ve not been okay since Italy. Did something else happen there?”

Calina levered herself up to rest against the headboard. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when you debriefed us after the mission you said Ranieri just got a bit handsy. Did something…more…happen that night? You can tell me.”

Calina shook her head. “No, nothing else happened.”

“So what is it? What’s going on with you?”

Calina’s first instinct was to lie again. To keep everything to herself. It was the way she was raised - the way they all had been. Even before the mind control serum took away their emotions they were trained to hide them. To bury their sadness and their loneliness and their pain. To never confide in anyone how they were feeling.

It was a difficult habit to break, but Calina was determined to tear away this next layer of Red Room conditioning. So she took a deep breath and told Katya everything. How she’d called Matt before the party in Italy. How having Ranieri’s hands on her felt. And how it was all messing with her head. “I know intellectually that nothing really happened,” she explained. “It was just a few unwanted gropes and a kiss on the neck - I’ve been through much worse on missions like that - but I just feel so…guilty. I keep imagining if it was Matt in that situation, and he’d let some other woman touch him. I would hate it. Which means I can’t tell him, because then he’d hate me.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Katya interjected. “If you just explain to him that it was a mission and you were playing a role-”

“But that would just open up this whole can of worms. About all the other roles I’ve played in the past, and the things I’ve done-”

“While under mind control, Calina.”

“Again, I know that intellectually…but don’t you still feel guilty about everything you did while under the serum?”

Katya smiled. “I feel guilty for stabbing you in Seoul.”

Calina rolled her eyes. “I’m being serious. We all did some really messed up shit for Dreykov. Doesn’t that…stick with you at all?”

Katya looked down as she picked at a loose thread in the bedspread. “Occasionally. Usually at night - my dreams are sometimes…not fun.”

Calina placed her hand over Katya’s remembering what it was like when she first arrived in New York - the endless nights spent pacing the rooftop, unable to sleep. “I’m sorry.”

Katya shrugged. “It’s fine. They’re just memories. The important thing is that I don’t blame myself for it. And you’re not to blame either. We were kids when we were brainwashed, and then we were forced against our will to commit all those acts.”

“But what about now? We’re acting on our own free will, and we’re still murdering and stealing-”

“Yes, to stop the bad guys!” Katya protested. “We’re on the side of good now. And we have the rest of our lives to be on that good side, and to make up for everything we’ve done”

“Can we, though? Can we possibly balance a ledger with so much red in it?”

“Now you sound like Natasha. And look what she’s accomplished. She’s an Avenger. Little girls all over the world want to be like her, because she’s a hero. We can be like that too.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever feel like a hero. Matt’s a hero, and he-”

It was Katya’s turn to roll her eyes. “You know I like Matt, but he’s not exactly squeaky-clean. He’s a vigilante - he breaks the law every night.”

“It’s different. He has a moral code. One I’ve violated again and again. If he ever found out the truth about me, he’d hate me.”

Katya studied her for a few moments, a frown marring her face. “Calina, what is the ‘truth’ about you?”

Calina swallowed harshly. When she finally answered, her voice was small and shaky. “That I’m not a good person.”

Katya reared back. “That’s ridiculous! You were brainwashed and under mind control-”

“I’m not talking about that! Since leaving the Red Room, I’ve abandoned my sisters, I’ve lied to everyone I’ve met, I’ve killed people, and I- I cheated on my boyfriend!”

“You didn’t cheat!”

“What would you call it?”

“I call it necessary! We’re fighting a war here, Calina. And wars are messy, and they involve sacrifice and difficult decisions. Killing the men who came after you, lying to protect your identity and going undercover to steal from Ranieri were difficult decisions, but necessary.”

“But-”

“I’m not finished!”

Calina snapped her mouth closed. She’d never seen Katya like this - so agitated and…loud. She’d always been one of the quieter, more rational Widows.

“As to your other ‘sin’,” Katya continued. “You did not abandon us. You came to save me in Korea - you risked your life to save me. That’s not abandonment. And the other widows told me what you were like after you were freed - they could all see you were struggling. Moving to New York was another necessary decision. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a good person. You were never cut out for this kind of life. Even as kids we realised that you were too sweet and sensitive. And the Red Room persisted in trying to beat that out of you, but they never could. Despite what you’ve been through and what you were forced to do, you’re still that same sweet, sensitive, good person. It’s why you’re feeling all of this so much more than the rest of us. And while we all appreciate your help with taking down Volkov, if you want to leave again, not one person would blame you.”

She bumped her shoulder against Calina’s. “We love you, Calina. You are worthy of love. You just need to convince yourself of that.”

————–

So do we think Katya got through to Calina? Does she believe now that she's worthy of Matt?

Read chapter 4 to find out...

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @yanna-banana @chezagnes​ @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan​ @freckledbabyyy ​​

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Let Me Comfort PT 1

Paring: Javier Penña x Reader

Word count: 9k

Summary: When you take a sort term job in Colombia to clear your head and have a fresh start you form a unlikely bond with you're DEA Agent neighbor and your life is changed forever

Warnings: Slow Build, Pining ,Mutual Pining ,Fluff Tooth-Rotting Fluff Falling In Love, fluffy Javier, protective Javier, Javier falling for you angst, mentions of being followed and fighting.

A/N: I’m so nervous to start posting this story because I know the fandom for Pedro and Javier Pena are strong but I’m so proud of it and am currently working on Part 2. Some slight elements are the same from the show but is mostly AU

You hadn’t been in Colombia long, about a month at this point. The last couple years have been a painful whirlwind for you and you took this job to get away from it all, hitting a reset button on your life.

Not that this was the ideal situation either, working as a part of the cleaning crew at the United States Embassy at the height of the war on drugs against Pablo Escobar.

The Embassy thankfully set you up with an apartment as part of your contract. It was in a smallish apartment building with only 3 other units not far from where the embassy was located. You hadn’t met any of your neighbors yet, all thought you often heard your neighbor having sex. Sometimes leaving for work or coming home you’d cross paths with someone of the women coming and going from his apartment, almost never the same girl but always exchanging friendly smiles and “hellos”.

“Hey, (Y/N) some of us are going to grab a drink after work if you’d like to come along?”

“Oh um…sure I’d like that!” You replied smiling

“We’ll meet in the lobby and walk down to the bar in 30” Kate said walking off to finish her tasks and change.

Your coworkers seemed nice, you hadn’t talked much but it felt nice to be invited. You hasn’t really made any friends since arriving in Columbia and mostly just kept to yourself.

You met your coworkers in the lobby and you all walked down to the bar, where you all ordered your drinks and grabbed a empty table. You sat there and made small talk with everyone, smiling and laughing along, trying not to be anxious about being out with new people.

“Thank you for inviting me, I’m going head to the market and then head home” you said, finishing your second drink before heading out.

You walked around the corner and headed to the market picking up some food for the week and some other toiletries that you needed.

You had more bags than you intended, but the walk back to the apartment wasn’t to far. As you crossed the street to make you way back home this man about your age approached and started talking and walking with you. The feeling of panic washed over you, it was dark at this point and he was insisting he carry your bags. He forced the bags from your hands and caressed your arm with his free hand. Reluctantly you walked to your place trying to get the man to leave you alone, he wouldn’t let up and followed you into the building. As you approached your apartment you pretended you couldn’t find your keys in your bag to stall as much as possible. This made him angry, he dropped your bags and grabbed your arm just above your elbow and squeezed , yelling mostly in Spanish but saying in English “unlock the door bitch”

You screamed “no” trying to pull away from him but he squeezed tighter and pulled you back, causing you to knock into your neighbors door.

You hear the lock on the door click and it swings open, a man’s deep horse voice shouts “ what the fuck is happening out here” as he opens it hanging half way out his door way.

“Fuck, fuck fuck” you mumble. You hadn’t even met your neighbor yet and this was going to be his first impression of you. Youre face flushed with fear and tears.

He sees the man your with is a local and the two men start yelling at each other in Spanish.

“I’m sorry” you whisper turning to the man. He takes one look at you and realizes your completely terrified and that the man you’re with has ahold of your arm. His whole demeanor changes as he slams his door shut and comes fully into the hallway. You notice right away the badge on his belt and then your eyes scan to the gun stuck in the front of his pants. He whispers “trust me”as he grabs your wrist and pulls you away from the stranger. He draws his gun and shouts in one swift motion. The guy takes one look at him and takes off, running down the hallway and out of the building.

You just stood there in complete shock staring at the floor covered in your things from the market, tears streaming down your face.

“Are you ok?”

Your trance broken, you quickly wipe the tears from you face, picking up your things.

“Y-yeah”

“Let me help you with those”

You wordlessly take the bags from him and unlock your door.

“Goodnight”

You turn to him with a blank expression

“Goodnight”

—————————————————————

It had been a few days since the incident and you were feeling less shaken by it all. The one thing on your mind was how you never actually thanked your neighbor for saving you, and that guilt was driving you crazy. I know what I’ll do you thought to yourself, I’ll make a big meal and bring him over a plate and say thank you and introduce myself. You loved cooking and baking and you haven’t done much of it down here while you were settling into your new life. Being one of your favorite things was putting on the record player and getting lost in the kitchen. It made you feel relaxed but also helped numb the sadness in your life. You dug around in your fridge and cabinets and settled on making pasta with Parmesan cream sauce with chicken and sun dried tomatoes and some cookies.

You made a nice plate full and wrapped it in tin foil and put some of the cookies in a container. You walked out to the hall way double checking your door, making sure it wasn’t locked before closing it and walking the little ways down the hall to his door. You knocked on the door and just stood there quietly thinking of what to say. After a minute you gave the door one more knock before realizing no one was home. Thinking quickly you shuffled back to your apartment, setting the plate down and grabbing a small piece of paper to scribble a thank you on it and taping it to the tin foil. You walked back over to his door and set the plate down in front of it then headed back to your apartment.

You let out a big yawn and stretched standing from the couch, turning off the tv. You make yourself a drink, put on a record and return to the couch to lay down. You take a big sip of your whiskey and soda, let out a big sigh as the sounds of David Bowie comes through speakers, filling the room and making you smile. You sink completely into the couch stretching out and completely relaxing. You sit up thinking you heard a faint knock at the door, pausing for a minute. You didn’t hear it again so you laid back down,!only to hear it again louder this time. You got up and walked to the door unlocking it but leaving the chain lock intact for it to only to open a crack. You peak out to see your neighbor leaning against your door fame, “Hi” He says waving your empty plate up for you to see.

“Oh! Hi hold on” you say surprised. Closing the door and opening the chain lock to open the door fully.

“Did you make this stuff for me?” He asks holding up the plate and the container that held the cookies his voice had a smooth deepness to it.

You smiled reaching up to take them from him. “I did, I wanted to say thank you for helping me the other night and figured it was the least i could do”

“That wasn’t nessecary, but thank you it was good”

You offer him a warm smile while taking the dishes.

“Im Javier…Javier Peña”

“Nice you meet you, I’m (Y/N)” you reach out your hand to shake his, he returns the smile and shakes your hand.

“I was coming over to see if you’d to come over and have a drink?”

You’re surprised by his offer and conflicted as to how to respond. He picks up on your hesitation but doesn’t let on that he does.

“Sure, I’d like that actually”

You return your gaze to him with a smile. “Just let me grab my keys and turn off my record player. Come in if you’d like, it’ll only take a minute.” He nods and follows you into your apartment. Letting the door close behind you two. “Sorry it’s a little messy it’s been along week” you say as your walking away from him towards your bedroom, he stops at your living room as you keep walking, enjoying the music and looking around at pictures on your wall.

You return with your keys and a sweatshirt and put them on your counter. He turns to you when he hears you enter the room again. “You like Bowie?” He says motioning yo the record player. As soon as he says it he thinks to himself what a stupid fucking question Javier. taking the record off the turntable and returning it back to its jacket you smile and nod looking at him “I do, he’s one of my favorites”

“Mine too” he reply’s holding your gaze.

He was in complete awe of you. He couldn’t take his eyes away from you, the way the dim light shinned on your face highlighting your smile and soft hazel eyes sent his head spinning. He had butterfly’s in his stomach, something that he had never felt with anyone before, and this scared him to his core. He broke your gaze walking past in to the kitchen….”ready to go” he says quickly hoping you didn’t pick up on his mood change. Really hoping you didn’t realize in that moment that you completely turned his world upside down.

You grab your sweatshirt and keys following behind him. He sees the sweatshirt in your arms as you’re locking the door. Rubbing the back of his neck he nervously gestures to it and says “you know I meant having drinks at my place not out right?”

“Yea I know, I just get cold easily sometimes so I figured I’d come prepared” you say with a small chuckle in your voice.

He makes a mental not of this comment, wanting to remember every detail he can about you incase you decided you like spending time with him.

He opens the door to his place for you and you both step in, him locking the door behind you both. His apartment is layed out about the same as yours and roughly the same size.

“ Make yourself comfortable I gonna change and I’ll grab us drinks”

You make yourself comfortable on the couch scanning around at the stuff in his living room, he didn’t have much on the way of pictures or anything about his life around. He has stacks of folders with papers filling them and empty glasses and a half full ash tray on his coffee table. A Tv and a VCR on a stand In front of the couch but not much else. He returns a moment later with two drinks in his hand and sits on the other side of the couch.

“You’re American I’m guessing?”

“I am”

“What are you doing down here?

“Oh, I work on the cleaning crew at the Embassy”

“You do? How come I’ve never seen you there before?” His tone sounds like he’s interrogating you.

“I usually keep to myself, I mostly clean of offices and conference rooms stuff like that after people are done with them. I’m also in charge of the supply rooms and make sure our team have the supplies we need. I mostly like to go unnoticed…so I don’t do the group cleaning jobs that the others do” you say looking down at your drink.

Changing the subject quickly you ask “are you American as well? do you work there too?”

“Not really but sort of, my team comes there sometimes for conferences, meetings and to use the file rooms to get more files and return ones we’ve taken”

“And yeah I’m American, my parents are both from South America. But I was born and raised in Texas. You never did say where you were from” he says raising a eyebrow

You chuckle” you know you sound like you’re interrogating me”

He chuckles and shrugs “well you don’t seem to mind because you keep talking to me”

“I guess one could say that” you say smiling looking up from you glass to realize he was looking at you intensely with his soft brown eyes. He notices you blush and looks away quickly.

“Most recently I’m from Boston” you say answering his question.

“Most recently?”he say puzzled by your answer.

You don’t want to elaborate but you realize your answer sounds sketchy.

“ I’ve moved around a lot the last couple years, trying to find somewhere that felt….that felt comforting I guess.”

“I-I’ve been through a-a lot” your voice shakes a little and you start to panic that you’re getting into a conversation you don’t want to have. He doesn’t let on that he notices but he does.

“But I moved out there with my best friend a little over a year ago, we share a place.”

“So what is it you do down here, I don’t believe you mentioned that”

“Oh look who’s interrogating who now” he chuckles smiling at you.

“Well you don’t seem to mind since you haven’t asked me to leave yet” you reply sarcastically smiling.

“Nah I guess your company isn’t terrible”he said smirking at you.

“Refill on your drink?” he asks, motioning to your glass as he stands

“Sure” you smile warmly as you meet his gaze as he reaches for your glass.

“Oh do you work with that Tall skinny blonde guy that’s at the embassy sometimes?”

We returns from the kitchen with the drinks. Puzzled he reply’s “you know Steve?”

“No not really” motioning to his badge on the coffee table. “I just recognized that you guys have the same kind of badges. He talks to me sometimes at the embassy, he’s come into the file room while I’m cleaning it before, usually makes small talk telling me about his wife. He seems nice.”

“Yea Steve is a good guy and a good partner. Glad to hear he’s nice to you, we’re both DEA Agents investigating Escobar.”

You sit up stretching your back with your arms over your head when your sleeve moves slightly and he notices the bruises on you’re upper arm. He reaches over and softly caresses the bruises catching you off guard.

“Are these from the situation the other night?”

You pull your arms down covering the bruises with your hand looking down into your glass of whiskey.

“Yes… they are, but they’re not from you pulling me away from him, they are from him grabbing me when you come out of your apartment.”

Silence filled the room for a moment.

“Y-You know you didn’t hurt me that night, I’m very thankful that you stepped in and pretty much saved me.”

“So what happened that night, is that guy your boyfriend?”

“He was a complete stranger, he was following me around the market down the street and insisted on carrying my bags for me because I was walking. He forced the bags out of my hands. I was really anxious and terrified so I went along with it because it was getting dark. When we reached the building he forced himself in the entry way. So I started acting like I couldn’t find my apartment keys as we were walking down the hall and that’s when he got really angry and grabbed me. I tried to pull away from him and that’s when I knocked into your door.”

“I hope I didn’t scare you more when I drew my gun on him.” He says staring down into his whiskey. “That’s the last thing I wanted do”

You reach over putting you hand on his shoulder, when you do he pulls his gaze up meet your. You had to admit there was something soothing about looking into his deep brown kind eyes.

“You didn’t scare me, in that moment I knew I was safe… or atleast I felt safe. I wasn’t scared of you at all.” You said giving him comforting smile. He puts his hand over yours for a moments giving it a squeeze.

You notice the time, it’s just past 12 am. You realize you’ve been here for hours. You stand up to stretch and yawn.

“ I should go, it’s getting late and I wouldn’t want to over stay my welcome.”

He stands and follows you into the kitchen as you put your glass in the sink.

“You’re welcome to stay over if you’d like”

Your both surprised by the offer. You feel your face heating up, you can feel your cheeks turning red and turn your gaze to the floor. Your showing a shyness that you hadn’t shown yet.

“T-Thank you for the offer but…but I can’t” your desire to stay and your need to throw up emotional walls competing.

“I’m im sor…” he cuts you off before you can finish. He places his large hand on your arm.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me and I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

He pauses for a moment lightly rubbing his thumb pack and forth on your arm.

“ I would stay on the couch and give you the bed.”

In the moment you understand that he’s not trying to push you into sleeping with him. You give him a warm smile letting him know you understand what he means.

He would never admit it but he really enjoyed your company. Your nature was similar to his, you made him want to let his guard down and have a real conversation and and connection with someone. This was something he’s never experienced with anyone and that scared him. He Invited you to stay because he wanted to spend every moment he could in your presence because he was preparing himself for the strong possibility that you wouldn’t want to hang out again.

“Could I atleast walk you to your door?”

“Sure” you said trying to hid your huge smile.

“Thank you for the drinks, I had a nice time and it was nice to actually meet you outside of the circumstances of the other night”

“It was my pleasure” he said with the warmest smile. His striking deep brown eye locked on yours.

“ I know your work is busy and I image you don’t have a ton of free time but if you ever find yourself wanting some company you know where to find me.” You say turning to unlock your door and open it. You can’t see it but he has a huge smile on his face.

You turn back as your walking through your door.

“You know you don’t have to be afraid to smoke in front of me, I know you’ve wanted one all night, what do I look like some kind of prude?” You say chuckling and smiling at your joke he smiles and laughs back.

[cuips-not-cute]

Heya cuips! Long-time listener, first-time caller (not entirely true, I've left a comment of each brl chapter so far 😂)

blinking red light has permanently burned itself into my brain at this point, and I'm so keen for the next update! I, no joke, stare at the AO3 tab in my Chrome app like it's my husband who's currently at war.

Other than the GO fic that you have labelled as the main inspo, what inspired you to write brl and fanfiction as a whole?

Ps. Hope you're having a good day❤️

aww well hello!! you are such a sweetheart omg,, however i could not find a comment under this same username on ao3, what handle do you use on there? (and if you use the same one and i somehow missed you then i am so so sorry<3)

ahhh it really means a lot that you're excited about the next update, i'm sincerely hoping to post it within the next few days, but if i can't finish it by this sunday i'll put it up next weekend for sure!! it's at almost 12k now, super chunky.

hmm i think it really was just closed set that inspired it!! i remember being at work last july and daydreaming about the fic & thinking about how much i loved it when i suddenly realized, "hey wait a second, i could steddie-ify this" and i kinda let that idea simmer for a while (was still working on cyclical at that point and i am not the type of person who can write multiple wips at a time) before reaching out to @racketghost about potentially writing smth inspired by their fic!! and they of course were really lovely about it so i started the planning process which took FOREVER because i actually ended up rewriting ch1 several times,,, fun fact originally the plot was gonna be "eddie lies about making tapes with steve harrington to a gang of bullies in order to save his ass from getting beat, except now he feels bad about it and goes to steve to come clean, cue shenanigans when steve offers to actually make the tapes" but i reallyyy wasn't liking what that was doing to eddie's character, plus i couldn't figure out how to make it fit within the post s4 timeline i wanted to write it in because i am just a SUCKER for post canon fics. however it was a bee in my goddamn bonnet and i was GOING to figure out how to make it work because i really really wanted to write a steddie sex tape au inspired by one of my fav stories in the world, so through a hearty combination of bitching and moaning about it to my most incredible friend @lollaika, actually rewatching zack and miri, and generally pacing around the kitchen while the puzzle pieces slowly fell into place i finally figured out how i needed the plot to work and voilà, chapter one!!

as far as writing fic as a whole tho? i can't pinpoint one thing that got me into it, but i've always kinda been a writer, used to have a blue glittery notebook i carried around everywhere as an elementary schooler for that exact reason, and that love for stories has just stuck ever since!! and then getting into fandom opened my eyes to a whole new world of writing that i gotta say i like a whole lot. like so much. you people are the fucking greatest❤️❤️

[starsfic]

mk and Mei have to petsit gaunyin's fish

Anon: mk and Mei are put in charge of watching Guan yin's fish chaos insues

"Thanks for doing this, Languar."

"It's no trouble at all, Wukong."

The palace of the retired zodiacs had to be the prettiest part of the Celestial Realm. At least, in Sun Wukong’s opinion. Soft marble opened to a forever view of the stars above, with gently flowing curtains and soft couches. It was unlike the rest of the realm, where there was no forced serenity. Instead, you could just be.

Unless you were doing what Wukong was doing and watching the former monkey zodiac scratch a question into a piece of bone. A fire roared between them, waiting for Languar to throw the bone in.

“So, you want to see if this year is peaceful,” Languar repeated.

“Yeah. I just wanna double-check since Qi Xiaotian needs the break.” Wukong leaned back with a sigh. As much as the kid tried to hide it, even with their whole “trying their best to be honest with each other’ policy, he knew he was wound up by Lady Bone Bitch (a nickname created by Long Xiaojiao that never failed to make him laugh). So, what was the harm in just making sure?

The faint scratching noises stopped. “Isn’t he petsitting Guanyin’s goldfish for you?” Languar cocked his head. “I wouldn’t exactly call that a break.”

“Please,” Wukong chuckled. “Ever since they got him calmed down from eating kids, he’s been a breeze.” Until today when the request had come out of the blue. Wukong already had this visit planned but Xiaotian had happily agreed to petsit. “Is the bone ready?”

Languar nodded. “Now, remember how this works?”

“You throw it in, it cracks, you interpret.” Wukong sighed. “I’ve seen you do this before. Go ahead.”

The white and black monkey nodded before tossing the bone into the fire. The moment it did, the fire whooshed up and Wukong leaned back, feeling his face ache. (So maybe he wasn’t being honest about all his injuries. Sue him.) Languar stayed in place, hands folded.

The room seemed to get a little darker, centering around the flames and them. The bone gleamed inside the fire. Slowly, it began to tremble. Wukong’s breath hitched as a quiet pop echoed out. The bone had begun to crack-

“MONKEY KING!”

And Qi Xiaotian, gleaming with astral projection, stared at him with wide eyes. Wukong yelped. “Wha- Hey bud!” Languar raised a brow and Wukong gestured to his eyes. The other monkey nodded. “How’s the fish?”

“Well, uh…it kinda…escaped? And took over the Weather Station?” Xiaotian glanced over his shoulder. “And now he’s demanding kids or else he’s gonna kill everyone and me and Xiaojiao need backup!”

Ah, shit.

“Okay, kid,” Wukong stood. “I’ll be there in a hot minute.”

“What about the bone!” Languar yelped, jumping to his feet. “It’s almost finished cracking.”

“I can come on by and get the results later!” Wukong somersaulted and grinned upon feeling the soft surface of his cloud. “The kids need me!” And off he zoomed, away from the peace and serenity.

Languar, left behind, glanced at the fire and winced. The bone was a mess of cracks now. The fire was preparing to die down and soon he could-

CRACK

The former monkey zodiac yelped and dove, taking cover from the flying bone shards. He looked up when the sudden storm came to an end. The fire died down with a hiss, its job done, leaving it’s master gaping at the mess of bone everywhere.

“...I’m pretty sure that’s not a good omen.”

[sweet-lost-husbands]

Caged - Chapter 1 - Medical whump - Whumper turned Caretaker - Omegaverse - Supernatural

Alright, we made it! So this is already posted on ao3 and its still continuing, I'm just writing each chap as I go so any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

{ Synopsis: Dean is sick and not like any omega the world has ever come across but Cas is willing to try and save his life. Only one problem: Dean is feisty and refuses to be helped, each treatment is torture. He fights and runs every chance he gets, hurting himself in the process. (:

Basically, Dean being sick and injured and Cas caring for him. Not consensually tho. Essentially just 'Forced Care'.} 

warnings: See masterlist for each chap warnings

Chap specific warnings: Forceful kidnapping, Non-consensual administration of drugs. Restraints. Needles.

Everything hurt.

Agony was all he knew.

It had been for a while now.

It felt as though his very insides were trying to twist their way through his flesh. Violent ripping sensations that spread to his entire body.

Often, he wondered if plunging a knife in there would dappen it somehow… If anything in this world could make it ease just for a moment.

He had long since got used to covering it up, even now, Dean faked a smile and continued to sip his coffee. It was one of his all-time favorite brands, a little more expensive than he could afford but worth it, nonetheless.

“I’m not lonely,” he said quietly, sitting at their dining table. Usually, he wouldn’t worry about Sam catching onto his pain, but today something was different.

“Yeah, I know.” Sam placed a plate of bacon in front of Dean and then took a seat himself. “It’s just that we haven’t seen Dad in weeks because of business, and I have late shifts in the hospital. None of us are ever really home except you. It’s not like you have a mate or… an alpha, despite your intense heats. The last one almost killed you.”

“No, it didn’t.” Dean shot back.

Sam gave him one of his many bitch faces. “Yes! It did. I was out working, and you told nobody how bad it was. I found you on the floor, writhing like you needed to get out of your skin yet nearly unconscious from the pain, with a fever that way surpassed the normal temp. Your lucky my friend Cas who is a head doctor at an omega stabilization facility had come home with me for drinks that night or you would have been toast.”

Dean brought a piece up to his mouth, ignoring what Sam had just said and savoring the smell before taking a bite. A stray drizzle of grease rushed down from the corner of his mouth. He quickly swallowed the bacon with another mouthful of coffee.

He turned his gaze back to his brother. Something wasn’t right.

“Sam? I thought you told me that you have morning shifts all week?”

“Uh, I do.”

Dean completely abandoned his food, narrowing his eyes on him. He swore he could see tears brimming in Sam’s eyes. Why was he sad?

The silence nudged Sam to continue.

“I took a day off. I need to be here for this.” The last part was barely a whisper. He waved it off. “Just eat your food Dean.”

Dean wasn’t one to let a plate of bacon get cold, so he started back at it. Each piece warmed his insides and made him feel cozy. God, he could live like this forever… he had everything he ever wanted. Sam, Baby, bacon, an actually decent apartment instead of a crappy hotel and hella good coffee—the essentials.

Across from him, Sam kept picking at his rabbit food, playing with it more than eating. It wasn’t like him, but it wasn’t unusual either. The thing that was unexpected though, were the sad smiles that kept flicking on his face every time he looked at Dean.

What the hell was going on? Did he accidentally scratch baby or something?

They finished up and Sam began to put away the plates. “I found something the other day. You know, I think you’d want to see this, Dean.”

“Sure.”

Sam returned, fiddling with his pocket before fishing out a picture and tossing it in Dean’s direction. He made sure he captured the smile that crossed Dean’s face.

He picked it up so carefully in his hands, running his eyes over every pixel with a sad fondness. “Me, you and Mum, at the beach... Your just a baby here.”

“Yeah..." Sam chuckled. "I was pretty small. I don't remember that day but Mom looks so happy in that one.”

Dean nodded in agreement, staring at the image for a while longer. He needed pictures like these… He remembered her vividly but sometimes he couldn’t figure out how certain features looked, her nose, her eyes, her smile, they got distorted in his head from time to time. It was a sweet image really, Mary holding little Sammy in her arms while Dean played in the waves just behind her. She held a smile that was so impossibly bright, it made Dean crumble as he looked. In fact, he was so focused on the image that he almost missed Sam checking his phone and his brother's face saddening further.

“Talk to me.” He comforted.

Before anything managed to leave Sam’s lips, he stood up from his seat and wandered over to Dean, pulling him in for a tight embrace.

They didn’t usually hug.

Sam’s voice was patchy as he spoke. “I’m so sorry, I hope that someday you’ll thank us.”

Dean shoved him off and levelled with him. His tone dropping lower and harsher than intended. “Cut the crap Sam, what’s going on?”

Just at that moment, the doorbell rang, and Sam jumped away, hiding his face from Dean. The room fell sickly silent, and yet it was so loud that it seemed to echo and bounce off the walls, only interrupted by the fleet of footsteps making their way in.

The first thing Dean noticed were the two bulky men dressed in white scrubs and how their faces resembled empathy but also a unique sternness. The next thing that drew his attention was a guy in a suit and trench coat, rather than the usual hospital attire. His eyebrows were creased at just the right angle to scream nothing but unyielding concern.

A foreign part of Dean found his presence slightly comforting but the rest cowered.

He knew what this meant. Where they came from.

He stood, his fists clenched at his sides and a burning feeling of rage bubbled up. He tried to hide it as best he could, but clearly not enough as the orderlies exchanged a glance.

The guy in the trench coat extended his hand. “My name is Dr Castiel Novak but you can call me Cas, it’s nice to formally meet you Dean.”

No, no no no nonono.

“Yeah, well forgive me if I don’t feel the same way.”

He could already see this playing out in his head, and he was NOT going to go. He wouldn’t allow himself to become some vegetable rotting in the Omega stabilization facility for all eternity.

This was exactly what Dad was trying to protect him from. Why he wasn’t allowed to be an omega in the first place.

He knew what happened to omegas in these facilities, how their autonomy was stolen away like a thief in the night, followed by gradual dehumanising treatments designed to get you to yield or break… but perhaps by the time you’d yield, you were already broken. Some part of you forever gone and unrecoverable. That was not the type of life he wanted.

He took a step back.

The bitch had the audacity to take a step closer, cocking his head to the side, acknowledging Dean’s distress, making it almost irresistible not to find a sense of trust in him, even if just from his eyes alone.

His voice was gravely but gentle, “I understand that you've been struggling lately, and we are worried about your well-being and physical health. The higher ups in Omega Care have reviewed your case and there is a warrant out for your stabilization. For your own safety, it has been declared that it would be best for you to receive care in a special omega trained facility.”

Dean took a few more steps backwards until his back pressed up against the wall. Fuck<.i>. He was cornered. His body betrayed him as it began to shake.

He could do it; he couldn’t go there.

His life would be ruined.

Before he had a chance to control his mouth, words shot out. “No! you can’t do that!”

“I’m afraid we can.” He neared again; it was suffocating. Suddenly the whole world was closing in on him. His hands waved around his chest in the universal language of not getting enough air.

Castiel took another step, but Dean screamed to stay away, flinging his arms about trying to control his breathing on his own. He was growing more desperate by the moment as everything sunk in.

“Sam?” He looked to his brother for help but was met with nothing. He was standing on the other side of the room, useless, tears flowing out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry Dean, but you need help.” He said in between wiping the water away. “I’ve seen how you refuse to be submissive even though it’s in your nature, how you refuse to get help during your heats, how dad forced you onto high dose suppressants at an early age and so now your body is all out of whack form being wrongly treated, this way you live, its unsustainable. It will kill you.”

“That- I can explain that, please don’t do this.” He could hear the blood pumping in his ears, he would have hit Sam had there not been orderlies in the room who would use it as another thing to lock him away for—to fix.

Dr. Novak held his hands out in front of him, the palms of his hands facing up, an open gesture to show that he had no ulterior motive. “I know this feels unfair, Dean, but we genuinely believe this is the best course of action for you. With proper care and treatment, you can find the stability you deserve.”

“How dare you.” He hissed towards Sam. He wanted to smash something—to just get away.

“Calm down.” One of the orderlies spoke with authority laced in his voice, trying to maintain a safe environment.

Dr. Novak held eye contact with him, his posture calm and collected like he wasn’t repelled by his anguish. “It’s understandable that you’re feeling betrayal at this time. but we’re here to help you, not punish you. Deep breaths okay, just like me.” He started to imitate the breaths as an example, hoping Dean would follow.

“Go fuck yourself.” Dean cried, pressing his back into the wall, wishing he would just sink into it.

But the Doctor continued, “We get that this is hard to accept but we have your best interests at heart. The facility can provide the specialized care and support you need.”

He had to get out of here. Now.

Dean's eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape route. His heart thundered in his chest, and a sense of urgency welled up inside him. He couldn’t go there, he needed freedom. He’d do anything for freedom.

The two orderlies, strong and composed, stood nearby, their eyes trained on Dean, prepared for any sudden movements.

Dr. Novak’s expression softened, but his resolve remained firm.

“Dean, just come with us, okay? Let us help you.”

“I will never let you help me!”

His head spun, nothing seemed reasonable anymore except for escape. It was his only option.

When their dad got sloppy drunk and left them for weeks on end to fend for themselves after their mother’s death, Dean had stayed because he had to. Sam still needed him. But now, nothing was keeping him here.

He lunged forward, but the orderlies reacted swiftly, grabbing hold of his arms to prevent him. He used every ounce of energy he had to struggle against their grip, his eyes wild with desperation.

“Easy, easy.” One of them grunted.

“Let me go! Pleaseee.”

The orderlies overpowered him, restraining him with gentle but firm strength and eventually his resistance wavered.

He wasn’t strong enough…. Well, that’s what they thought.

“We don’t want to hurt you, Dean, but we can’t allow you to endanger yourself. It’s for your own safety.

“You don't understand... nobody does. I just want to continue living my life.”

Sam spoke up from the back. “Don’t fight them Dean, it makes this harder on all of us.”

How dare he! How fucking dare he!

Dean knew what he was going to do when the time presented itself. So, he took one last glance at their house —at baby —at Sam, focused on the taste of bacon and coffee that still lingered on his tongue, so no matter how long he would be there for, he would remember all the things he loved.

Dr. Novak approached him with empathy, his voice filled with understanding. He took one of his hands and squeezed it, letting him know that he was not alone.

“It's not forever, just a step towards finding the freedom you're searching for.”

There was his opportunity. In a heartbeat, he shifted his weight and flung his elbow straight at Dr. Novak’s face. A small cry escaped the doctor's lips as he staggered backward. Dean turned, dodging the orderlies quick attempt to control him. They were trained —but he was trained better. He’d been taught to fight since the day he was born. His father had made sure of that.

He quickly gained leverage and punched one in the face then kicked the other in the stomach to release his arm. He didn’t need to think before he pelted for the door. Strong forceful hands found their way around his waist and jolted him away. Sam was holding him and goddamnit that kid refused to let go.

“Sam!” Dean screamed breathlessly. “If you don’t fricken let go, I’m gonna —”

His pants and struggles outweighed his words. He was freakishly aware of the orderlies gathering themselves and approaching. He had to do something now, but Sam wouldn’t give.

“Please!” A breath, nothing was happening, “Sam, if you let them take me, I can never forgive this.”

The sting of something sharp being stabbed into his shoulder made him hiss and throw his weight in a last attempt to get away.

He was too late.

“Sammy, please.” He cried, aware of how his body started to unwillingly weaken. “Don’t—” He felt himself go limp in his brothers’ arms; a stray tear rolled down his cheek. “Don’t let them take me.”

Dr. Novak's remorseful face despite the blood that flowed down from his nose, was the last thing Deean saw before his eyes forced themselves shut.

~

When he edged on consciousness once more, he started to hear voices around him and feel the sensations around his body. Something was pressing against his waist then the length of his legs, a second later it was pulled away. A persistent beeping faded in and then some voices.

“Good.”

Oh god, he recognised that voice—Castiel. That son of a bitch. He wanted to wrap his hands around that doctor and squeeze. Hard.

Dean tuned into the conversation. Perhaps it could offer some information he could use as leverage.

“Run the measurements up to the manufacturing sector, tell them I don’t care about costs, I just need the equipment mentioned in my previous email. Tell them that it must be the perfect quality and I needed it yesterday!”

“Yes, of course, Cas. I have also put the rest of Mr Winchesters team on standby, they will come within moments notice if you press the button.”

“Thanks Gabe.”

Dean could hear a set of footsteps fade then stop. The screeching of a heavy door as it was opened and then shut once more, not failing to miss the dreadful sound of it locking. His body betrayed him, he could feel as panic set in. He was completely trapped and without escape.

He hated that the beeping from the machine beside him immediately increased, which drew Castiel’s attention.

“Dean?” He could tell by the way Castiel had said it, that it was filled with worry and a hint of dread. That only made Dean so much more furious. He didn’t want to be pitied, he didn’t want to be looked down upon, he just wanted to go home.

A what-was-supposed-to-be comforting hand came to rest on his shoulder. White hot anger boiled up in Dean so fast that he shot his eyes opened and lunged. Firm restraints restricted his actions and to his dismay, no matter how much he struggled they didn’t give.

No no no no!

Cas took a step back, calm as he fucking aways was, that prick. “Dean! Dean, stop!”

Some weird feeling hinted on the surface, something about his commanding voice made the words linger on the tip of his head. But it was only slight, barely even noticeable and Dean was able to power through it and keep struggling.

Needed freedom…At any cost… … can’t be here… not a weak omega made to be bred.

Cas was quick to fasten all the restraints so now he could barely move and then throw himself on top, trying to halt Dean’s desperate movements with his weight.

Again, the strange feeling pulsed, too small to truly understand it but enough for him to recognise that something was different. Perhaps Cas’s body was kind of warm against his.

“Dean.” Castiel said firmly.

His head shifted back. No no no no no.

He struggled.

He wouldn’t give in; his father would be furious. He was a solider, he wasn’t allowed to be weak—to submit.

Cas spoke with urgency, boarding on the edge of begging. “You must stop. We are trying to lean away from giving you any drugs, but we will if we have to. You understand we cannot let you hurt yourself.”

Dean could barely make out the words behind the thick layer of hatred he had for him—this place.

He almost wanted to cry at the sound of a small crowd rushing in. From the little that he could see whilst struggling, they all looked like headless chickens. Some—most, found their way over and began to help hold him down. He hated it.

Must get away must get away mustgetaway

“Cas!” One man yelled in a heavy English accent. “What do you need?”

“Stop Dean, please.” But the man underneath him, never wavered his defence. “Goddamnit. Alright Ketch give him the sedative.”

There was uncertainty in the other man’s voice. “But Sir…”

Cas cut in, “I fucking know, but we are out of options here.” He paused as Ketch began to administer the sedative. “And you.” He pointed to a red-haired woman currently holding Dean's forearm down. “Tell Gabe to hurry the fuck up, I don’t think he'll survive another dose.”

Was that worry in his voice? Did he generally care? Fuck him!

They all eased off as Dean became limp once more.

Originally Omega Care wanted them to stay at a facility but once it was seen that Dean was much worse than previously thought, they allowed Cas to treat him at his own house as long as it was properly accommodated to Dean’s needs.

The house itself was spacious, the walls were an off-cream colour except one which was a faded green. Most of the floor was empty bar a couple of medical cabinets, draws, chairs and the bed Dean was in currently. The rest was going to be filled up with new medical machines which were tailor made to Dean’s measurements.

There was a widow overlooking the estate with a nice garden and pool, that maybe one day Dean could have the luxury of going in and a meeting room off to the side.

There was a one big door on one wall which was the exit and a stream of smaller doors on another. The first and last were bathrooms while every other was a bedroom for Dean’s new team of professionals. Cas’s room was in the middle and the biggest since he owned the place. It would be a nice place to stabilize the omega boy. Nicer than some facility.

A taller member of the team which held a badge with the name ‘Benny’ on it, spoke up from the crowd. “Poor mate doesn’t realise how badly he’s hurt and that by struggling he’s just making it worse.”

The all seemed to mumble in agreement.

Cas moved away and then turned to address all of them. “Before you all came here, you got the briefing on the patient.” Their eyes wondered over to Dean unconscious, looking far to pale and vulnerable and then back to him.

“But now I shall give you the more accurate and updated status of the patient.” They all seemed to know what that meant, that he was worse than previously thought.

Regardless, Cas continued: “Dean Winchester, aged 32, male, submissive omega. His father John Winchester was arrested earlier today for neglecting and abusing Dean in his early childhood and then throughout his life. It is estimated that he gave Dean a heavy dose of suppressants from an early age, which completely wrecked his system. Then possibly a ton of other meds in order to hide the damage that he had caused. There's also suspected brainwash, where Dean doesn’t think of himself as an omega and is severely sacred and hating towards alphas. A lot of stuff remains unknown about his case and history, so there could be many complications.”

Their faces had all saddened.

“It was the hospital who reported him to Omega Care after an almost fatal heat. The overall damage that has occurred throughout his life makes him not able to: react to Alpha commands, drop, be submissive—and in most instances, it even causes him distress and fear… Either way, as a result of this, the internal and irreversible damage to his body along with the fact that he hasn’t received any neutralizing alpha pheromones to counteract his overactive omega ones, his hormone levels are declining rapidly. It suspected that with a dialogises like this, he won’t last for more than two weeks and it’s our job to change that.”

Cas took a breath, hardly believing what he was going to say next.

“Usually the omega hormone 'Omedicstrone,' sits between 72-100 in a normal omega, anything below 50 his considered dangerous, well Dean’s is at 15. Its by far the worse case ever recorded. If we can’t get Dean to fall into submission and soon, his body will start failing him. Omegas are designed to be submissive—some more than others and by not, it can cause extensive harm.”

“Poor sod.” One guy muttered.

“Now this won’t be easy—hell he doesn’t even respond to anything that usual omegas respond to, but we are here to try to help him. Every single one of you is an Alpha so that’s a start, we’re hoping that will begin to revert his mind back to his natural state and give us hopefully a small chance for his defences to weaken. Now what we are going to have to do to him, is not going to be pretty and there’s a high chance he’ll even hate us for it, so if anyone wants to leave then the door is behind you.”

Nobody left.

And so, it was sorted, these were the people who were going to try to save Dean Winchester.

[alpinelogy]

Started following you after reading your Ferrari chalex fic

Any kinda lore/director’s cut about the chalex time travel Ferrari fic

tell me why u follow me on/off anon (& backstory on my fics)

[rises from the dead two months later] HELLO, now entering a world my beloved. Ferrari chalex you will forever be famous

Rambling under the cut o7, heads up for spoilers

God where do I begin

First of all, this was posted post-chapter 4 but it is still a wonderful silly little rant on the story and my thoughts into it. By then I had the rest of the fic figured out and I was really just setting up the future plot points 🙂‍↕️

However, heres is some random rambling on the fic because I have so many thoughts:

I started working on the fic last January, and initially I was hesitant if I even wanted to go on with this, I had just finished writing we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it) few months earlier and in that one the ghost of Max Verstappen too somewhat haunts the narrative and I hate repetition. Then Kiro my beloved asked me to do some writing sprints with her one afternoon and I wrote about 5k of mildly disconnected scenes and I was dedicated to the bit since then

Also initally, this was meant to be either a three or four chapters long fic, clocking in at some odd 24k - 40k. Already a massive range (3 - 4 chapters, each 8k - 10k), but nowehere near the final 51k I ended up at

Please perceive my spreadsheet of plans. Obviously that ended up deviating and I discarded the three chapter option before I even outlined this but some extra things I wanna note:

All options open with the second loop/first time he goes back. I tried to start with the first loop but I could never get it to work. At the end of the day, we all know how roughly the race week works, what is the point in me writing a series of shite but otherwise average race weeks

Yes the first Charles is acting weird loop is in spirit loop 16. I like my number symbolisms even if they have zero mention of the actual fic. Tho also perceive that no plan the idea was for chapter 3 to be loops 5 - 16. Chapter 2 really ran away from me

Congrats to chapter 4 for sticking to the plan. Loops 17 through 22, exactly as it should be 🙂‍↕️

Now as for chapter 5... yeah, that chapters loop was supposed to be the final one. It was actually the plan until like... a week before I posted that chapter, and then I decided to go back and fix my pacing. Therefore while it is not relevant, Alex gets sent back to Bahrain a grand total of 23 times/goes through the first three races 24 times

With each loop being 24 days with a handful of exceptions, if we round down to 21 days that means Alex spent ~500 days in the timeloop. Thats more than a year. Fun!!

Hey what caused the loop? Well thats for me to know and for you to find out in wolves standing (towards the enemies) coming... well I wanted to post the first part on Dec 1st but I fear that is not happening. Burnout is a bitch

Ngl took me a while to figure out what exactly is the way out of the loop. Never let anyone tell you you cannot treat your silly little fanfiction with the same importance as original fiction, I wanted to have a point to the loop, a meaning and I eventually got it; letting people in and trusting that they will not betray you

Charles and Max are significantly more important to the narrative than it may seem. At the end of the day the fic in a way is about the treatment of teammates, and how Alex had to learn that his RBR experience is not universal. Did I have to put him into a timeloop? Yes. Yes I did

Hey why did Charles know about the timeloops? Did he know about the timeloops? What is going on with Charles? That's for me to know and for you to find out in wolves standing. That one is Charles' POV, you get to figure out everything with him there. That being said, subconsciously, Madoka Magica had a lot of impact on the plot and minutia of the timeloop possibly. Make of that what you will

Funnily enough however, initially Charles played a minor role at best. He was meant to haunt the narrative like Max does, not be fully involved and pulling the strings in the background like he actually ends up doing

Last one little silly fact; the fic was almost named wolves standing (towards the enemies). Ended up gong with now entering a world (from which you will never return) but as obvious that original name got stuck and I am using it for the (unplanned) sequel

Anyway I am definitely forgetting something but this is all that I could think of, sorry that it took me so long anon, hopefully you are still here <3

Finally, I will leave you with my favorite line from the fic, coincidentally one of the lines that solidified it for me that i want to write the entire fic

"It is not a declaration of love. It is the closest Alex will ever be to declaring just how much he cares about Charles as long as he is repeating the same three weeks. It is an admittance that he has lost the battle long before it even started. But maybe that was the point, maybe he has to lose the battle, position his troops wrong so that Charles’ cavalry can trample them, to win the war. To be forced to have Charles as his ally rather than his enemy." now entering a world (from which you will never return) chapter 6

One of my favourite things I've ever written, period. I regularly think of this line

As well as the links to the song that gave the fic its name, a remix of it that I listened to a lot when I was writing it, and the song that gave the sequel its name

[alice--pallas]

Alice couldn't help but let out another chuckle when her brother proclaimed that she ought to be a bitch more often. Smiling, she said "You know, I think you might be right... Maybe I'd be more productive that way, get more shit done." Then again, maybe being a bitch is what would encourage someone to finish the job they'd started. She couldn't know for sure. She raised her eyebrows a bit when he mentioned Alec being an energy vampire--she couldn't necessarily disagree with that notion, though she was surprised that Cyrek was mentioning him. After all, it was the second time in less than a month that he'd brought up her ex-husband after having not spoke about him in years. She found it peculiar--she didn't mind it, of course. It wasn't like back when the wound was still fresh and hearing Alec's name felt like the equivalent of being stabbed in the chest over and over again. Really, it was more just the fact that Alice didn't think about Alec much these days. With a curious smirk, she said "Why do you keep bringing him up all of a sudden? Has my ex-husband been on your mind lately?" She chuckled and clarified, "I don't mind, of course. I'm just curious, you don't usually mention him." Giving a shrug, she said "But maybe... I don't know, I'm not as angry as I used to be, you know? So I suppose I'm less of a bitch--usually. But maybe Bitchy Alice will begin to make an appearance more often."

Of course, she didn't blame Cyrek for feeling such vitriol for her ex-husband. After all, Alec's departure had pretty much torn the journalist apart and unfortunately, her twin brother was left to pick up the pieces after the fact. Honestly, if someone had done to him what Alec had done to her, she'd most definitely hate them forever as well so it was only fair.

Alice nodded in agreement, thinking back to her own childbirth that ultimately resulted in an emergency C-section near the end. "Yeah, that is fair... Even with my C-section, those contractions were a fucking bitch. I liked being pregnant but I didn't like that," she chuckled. What's that say about us? We like pain? Masochism? Sure looks like you're one to me, layin' here with a bullet in your gut. She rolled her eyes and laughed at his suggestion, appreciating the flash of his smile, even if it was fleeting. "Oh, yeah, this is definitely what I was going for--a gunshot wound and nothing more than heavy strength Tylenol. It's a dream come true." Shaking her head, she said "I don't know... For some reason, the needles never bothered me... I guess we really are just gluttons for punishment." Perhaps it was the punishment that they both felt they deserved, though she didn't say that part out loud--she didn't really need to, considering it hung in the air right above their heads. Still, she could always depend on Cy to be someone who just understood her past with addiction. There was no need to explain or justify her thinking. He already got it. Holding out her hand for the Aleve, she said "Thank you so much." Then, with a chuckle, she add "And please, you think I'm gonna' rat on you to Susie? For you doing her job better than she can? No fuckin' way."

When he came back with her juice, she downed the Aleve and hoped that it would start to work sooner than later. "Thanks again." She took deep breath as her brother tried to calm her worries about her daughter. She knew he was probably right when he said that this would barely be a blip on Rhea's radar--that's how it should be. Still, she hated the idea that she was missing any part of her daughter's life while she was locked up in this cheerless hospital. She missed her little laugh and smile. She missed reading to her at night. But she was eternally grateful for Cyrek and Stella taking Rhea in for the meantime. "Thank you so much for taking care of her. I know you guys have a lot going on, but... I really appreciate it. I know she's in good hands--and hell, she's probably having a blast since she basically gets to have a sleepover with her cousins every night," she chuckled. She forced a small smile when he called her by her birth name--he usually only did that when he was trying to comfort her and she was being stubborn and not listening. We can't hide our kids from reality. Giving a small nod, she said "You're right about that... I hate that you're right so often." Finally looking at him and agreeing to the notion of Rhea visiting her in the hospital, she said "Okay. The next time you visit, if you're able to bring her, I would love to see her. I miss her so much."

That rich guy from the council? She couldn't be sure if he was referring to Abraxis or Kaz--both of them had visited her, Abra more than once of course. If ever there were a time to come clean, it was now. What the fuck are you up to? What'd you dig up? There was also that. "Look, I don't... I can't prove it yet but I think that...somehow, some way, someone on the council may be connected to the body snatchings..." The both of them knew damn well that Kurt Adler was one of the corpses that had been robbed from his grave--she hadn't been on scene for that one in particular but she'd looked at the pictures after the fact with her boss. Her heart ached for her twin brother and his loss. "And I want to get closer to it, but... It feels...really unsafe now. But at the same time, am I not on the right track? Why else would I be gunned down like that?"

When he suggested that she pull back from the council, she said "Well, that's going to be a bit difficult." Taking a deep breath, she looked up at her brother and said "Heads up, you're not gonna' like this, but... I've been seeing Abraxis Webb for a few months now. We've been keeping it quiet, obviously--and I can imagine what you're going to say, but... I don't know, I met them at the Ivy and we were flirting and I thought that I could get an in on the council--I thought that if I got close, if I had a connection, I could investigate more. And I've been able to do that, but... It's not just about reconnaissance anymore. We've gotten pretty serious. That's why they're hanging around the hospital. They're here to see me. And I believe that I can trust them but I'm very aware that I could be wrong. I don't think I am, but... I also don't have the greatest track record, so...it's a possibility, I suppose. I could be wrong. And that's what I'm trying to figure out."

Dark humor was practically all he had to offer in the face of tribulations that didn't preclude certain death. ( Grief was an adversary he had no business wrangling with; the guilt that he was still chained to his ankles wasn't dragging him in the dark waters of the Atlantic ocean without anchor anymore, but washing ashore was no better than where his identical twin had landed facedown. He'd been twiddling his thumbs about suggesting a grief group for a while now with Stella, that perhaps they could both benefit, and connecting with other people was bountifully more productive to him than sitting across from a lone therapist ever was. If it were something anonymous, maybe they'd do alright. Was it worth a shot? Starting this... new chapter with her at some point, a family, he didn't want them to get too caught up in these trivial mind games that Kurt's disturbed headstone had wrought. Deep down, he knew that it was to get in his head. If it was him they wanted, then he needed to stop giving them the ammunition. ) "I'd say laughter's the best medicine or whatever the phrase is, but I'm thinkin' that's shite right now. But I think you should be a bitch more often. I was startin' to think livin' in the Big Apple sucked it right out of you, y'know, some energy vampire shit Alec was feedin' off of."

His opinion of the guy wasn't very high, unaided by what few interactions they'd had outside the wedding revolving around the coupling's pending separations. Alice might wish him well, but he sure as fuck didn't. Someone had to hold a grudge around here.

"Mm. I worry 'bout that with the whole childbirth thing. It's real hard without epidural. I thnik Stella's gonna make a ritual sacrifice out of an OBGYN if she don't have it." Before they'd started dating, he would've been no dice on that being on the table too. "Think painkillers would be more my shit, though. She wasn't much for the needles. What's that say about us? We like pain? Masochism? Sure looks like you're one t' me, layin' here with a bullet in your gut," he ribbed lightly, the corners of his mouth quirking as he gave her a barely-there smirk. If they couldn't joke about their ironic eclipse of a vice, then what fun was it? Plus, it was one of those times Alice seemed cagey and agitated that it was causing her problems in the forefront; after a while, it could be almost... forgotten, until something pulled the reminder back into the room like an old friend you didn't want to have an intervention for. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the bottle and unscrewed the lid, saying as he shook two into her hand, "I'll go steal a juice from the cart. Don't rat me out, bitch."

It didn't take him more than a couple minutes to come back, a juicebox in hand, poking the hole out and turning it over in a plastic cup, filling it up and handing it to her. Taking a seat, he let out a snort. "Please. Four year olds can barely like, use their pea brains to remember shit at this age. Stell baked her some fresh cookies and she forgot all 'bout it until the next time she was askin' for mummy. Don't worry. She's more scared of the pair of used socks my crackhead of a cat likes to throw up and down the hall at midnight." After a pause, perched in the hardbacked chair rather than the edge of the bed as the scent of sterile cleaning products and hospital perfume were bound to spark anxieties for him later if he sat at the bed's edge, he reached out to lay his hand over Alice's. "Aliki, she's fine. If you wanna see her, s'not gonna hurt nothin' really. She's gonna keep askin' for you. And... it's garbage advice, but we can't hide our kids from reality."

Lifting his hands in mock surrender, they fell away from her own, though the silence he settled into was slightly unnerved, and he quirked the corner of his mouth. "That rich guy from the council? Yeah, I've seen a couple council people around your room. Like vultures. What the fuck are you up to? What'd you dig up?" The word usage was probably an irony to his own personal hell he'd been wading through since the beginning of the year, but now wasn't the time to get into that. At least, not right this second, while Alice had other fears on her mind. Silent as he listened, he picked at a broken thumbnail, solemnity overshadowing the overexuberant persona that he knew how to don like the back of his hand, receding to his normal, sullen self. "I dunno. You're up the council's arse, somehow. Enemies don't really kill enemies if they know they're enemies. S' the snakes you should watch out for. You get me? Just remember t' be careful with trust. Whatever you're doin' with the council, if you wanna keep up this thing, you better fall back." Cyrek fucked with people who had money with their easily replaceable shit. If he was stealing their operations and plans, well, he wasn't that fucking daft. Licking his lips, a breath left his lungs. Maybe they were both putting everyone around them in danger. Like brother, like sister. "Whatever danger I got comin', I did it to me." Self-deprecating? And true.

[alternateanonymous]

5.18, 11:10,  Just another day in the life of me

What’s up. So honestly, I don’t even feel like writing right now but I am because I am trying to help encourage Stefan to jounral more. Haha. But yea, so we are doing pretty good. I honestly don’t remeber what my last post was but I know that it wasn’t anything very good. I think it was something that was pretty bad, but I just want to update you and tell you that everything is ok. We are doing really good. Like he is loving me really well and we are vibing really hard so that is really good. Of course he still has his issues but its ok because I am here to help him. Obviously I have another jounral that i write in but that shit is addressed to stefan so everything that i don’t want him to really see i write here. It’s not like I don’t want him seeing it, its more of a respect thing for myself. It was a good day today though. this morning I woke up and finished writing a giant law paper that I had to do, so that was good. I actually had a really good time writing it so that was good. I then took a shower and then went to a coffee meeting time with one of my teachers. Mr. Porto. She was really cool to talk with and I learned alot about her, it was honestly just nice to talk to her. I like talking to different people. Then after that me and muhsin went to get some food. Oh also, I’ve been having some crazy nose bleeds lately. it hasn’t been good Oh yesturday me and stefan fell asleep in his common room which wasn’t very good and unsolicited but it’s ok. I woke up and had the worst bloody nose Ive ever had. shit was flowing really badly like from both sides which wasn;t good. Today i felt just the slightest bit woosy beause i lost all that blood but also because i am eating like shit which is completly my fault. It’s ok. these things happen. but then we went to this k nutrition place which was good. Saw this girl that I haven’t seen in a while, her name is marissa jacobsen and is p cool. we had food and it was nice. muhsin’s kinda been getting on my nerves today just because hes being mad annoying. Mainly because i had my roomate meeting today and i didn’t really wanna talk about it cuz it was kinda annoying and i jusst didn’t really wanna deal with it and you know muhsin, he just like to talk in circles about the same shit in a really laughable and stupid way, that kinda just made me annoyed and like bro stfu but I didn’t which is fine lol. But yea, also he just gets under my skin which is annoying. But when these things happen, he doesn’t and instead i become really bitter and sarcastic and that gets under his skin. hahaha. off, it’s like that sibling dynamic for real lol. I had the roomate agreement thingy. it was really easy and lasted like 5 minutes but i literally held the whole conversation and made it really easy for everyone. My gremlin of a roomamte is leaving on my birthday which is in 3 days, so great birthday present, but also yayyyy. Hopefully i will never have to see that bitche ever again in my entire life lol. I basically said I am fine with not having any guests over, cuz it is what like a few more days until we get out of school. But since she is leaving even earlier then yayyyy i get the room to myselffff whooo hoooo. But yea, so she didn’t even say anything and I tried to be as accomodating and open as possible. maybe a little to kiss ass but at the end of the day i am just trying to save my ass. it is what it is. then after that, i hang out with muhsin working on a general outline foir my final film essay which me stefan and mushin all wanted to work on tonight which was good. Took like forever to actually get to the film. Muhsin wanted to find his room for next year so he wandered the damn halls and i sat with stefan. Then muhsin finally did show up but then we were hungry and ordered wings. so then we just continued to work on the outline while we waited. the food came and then we ate and finally watched the movie. the movie was really good it was an alfred hitchock film called vertigo and was pretty good. it was an old movie but had a very intresting plot. I’d honestly love to make another movie like it but kinda modernify it. I think it would be really good. I feel like the film encapsulated human emotion and perspection really well. Sometimes people gaslight themselves and do really stupid shit without realizing it and maybe they do btu just continue to do it because they can’t do anything else and are falling victim to their weakness. So yea. But then throuhgout the whole movie we were all talking and shit about the film, muhsin was getting on my nerve a little bit because me and stefan were working on an outline and basically said if muhsin wanted access to it he had to work on it. We gave him access and he didn’t do shit so i kicked him off the document and he was all crusty about that shit, but it was his fault lol. Also, he was trying to convince me to lie about who stefan wa if he was brought up in the roomamte agreement but honestly fuck that. Lying is never a good option, it just was flabbergasting to me because i think muhsin actually belived that what he was telling me was a good idea which was really stupid because it clearly wasn’t lol. sometimes i think this kid is retarted lol. muhsin and stefan are both more autistic than me because we took an autism quiz and they both got over double my score which was jfunny. anyway i’ll see you later, we are done texting loll, byeeeee. 11:27pm