#took almost exactly an hour

[sirvinter]

a little sketch based on a screenshot from a project diva server im in

[rasberryt0rte]

Dungeon meshi gnome oc girl I swear I got lore for her but im posting this b4 continuing my focaccia rn

Was gonna make her like have some monster esqu features but this wasn't sit down and ponder time unfortunately I'll be back with more eventually 🫶

[basilpaste]

Chapter III: The Thorn

"This one yearns for connections they feel they don't deserve. Even when shown compassion, they hid themself away. They will make for a cautious heart."

ive been thinking about a slay the princess au. i wanted loop to be the witch. which also meant that loop had to be the thorn. and then i fixated on this so hard i finished it in three hours.

[tj-crochets]

The finished goat! She does not yet have a dress, but the designer who made this pattern also has other patterns the same size and the clothes are interchangeable, so I’m considering alternate goat wardrobe options (I’m thinking maybe pants and a sweater, or a skirt and a poofy shirt?)

[morrigan-sims]

And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.

As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.

[chippdhearts]

CRIME SHOW MEME (CSI EDITION) ☆ [1/5] Dynamics ↳ OTP : Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle

[starlight---starbrights]

Undertale yellow flowey embroidery

This took about 40 hours, give or take a few

[maybeimamuppet]

OKAY MUPPETS IT IS TIIIIME FOR EZZYS OPINION HOUR

i saw the mean girls movie yesterday and i have THOUGHTS. spoilers below the cut but general thoughts up here

1. is it objectively not a super great movie? yes

2. is it my new favorite movie? yes

3. will i defend this movie tooth and nail from people who don’t like it just bc it’s a musical or bc they’re a 2004 purist? YES

4. did this movie make me feel so many conflicting emotions back to back i have now had a tummyache for 24 hours? YESSS

5. will i ever, ever, EVER IN MY LIFE forgive tina fey for the ending? no.

alright babes welcome to below the elementary school gym class parachute

last spoiler warning!!

these aren’t all in order and are most definitely not all the thoughts i had bc i have the memory storage of a flea and once an experience is over it is GONE FROM MY HEAD so this is the list of thoughts i struggled to put together when i got home lmao

overall thoughts:

it felt very gimmicky. the stage production felt gimmicky too but in a fun way, this was gimmicky in a way that kinda gave me a touch of the ick

it did not feel to me very much like a cohesive movie. it felt like browsing ig or tiktok and just seeing a hodgepodge of scenes stuck together. which is a cool idea but idk how well it worked in practice and i also don’t know if it was intentional.

this is not the word i’m looking for but in terms of personality they absolutely whitewashed all of the characters and i really don’t care for that. the visuals and the casting were so immaculate but in terms of personality they just made them all taste like unsweetened corn flakes.

i’m biased and didn’t care for most of the tweaks they made to the songs individually BUT i think they blended with each other more cohesively than they do in the stage production so that was cool. and i am able to understand why they made them more pop-esque than theatre-y it’s just not my personal vibe

it all felt very emma watson’s beauty and the beast. like. not deserving of much hate but also just not as good. it has its time and place but i still just. the changes they made were too much for me. that being said i am gonna be the #1 viewer whenever it’s released to streaming platforms was not kidding when i said this is a new favorite movie

the whole like. tiktok and iphone camera thing was an interesting??? idea. i really liked it for cautionary tale but the rest. i think it was a better idea than the way they executed it.

i miss do this thing!! i wish they had done like a mashup with it and the stupid with love reprise but i wasn’t mad at the reprise so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fourth wall break was real cringe!!

thoughts abt cady:

angourie is so cute!!!!!!! she has the perfect look for cady. her costumes were kinda yikes but physically she’s mwah chefs kiss perfection

cady is so viscerally autistic in this version and it is DELIGHTFUL

but again i feel like they took so much from her. in the show she’s this overexcited little bubbly (autistic again but still) thing and she’s naive and then it’s revealed she’s conniving and manipulative and has this serious dark streak in her. in the movie it felt like she was just. awkward and then straight to conniving and manipulative. it was interesting but i miss my little jumping bean i wish they had given her some more spice

this movie has turned me into a cadina shipper of THE HIGHEST ORDER i’m already writing a fic for them and i call diiiiibs nobody else do it i write slow /j

i honestly really liked what ifs. i didn’t enjoy it as much as it roars but i think for the screen and for angourie’s voice it was a better fit. and i think it blended better with the new versions of the songs than it roars would have. not mad at it and the staging of it was really cool

cady being the one with a single parent is so interesting to me!! idk why they did that but i think it’s interesting. makes me wonder what happened to her dad but also go mom!!! women in stem!!!

her relationship with the art freaks was so???? weird??? it seemed like damian was the only one who really wanted all of them to be friends. i love this version of janis and damian together but when they were with cady it was all just so BLAND. it didn’t really feel like she and janis were friends at all which is what’s supposed to make the betrayal sting so much

whatever they were aiming for with someone gets hurt they missed hard bc holy cadina batman that shits gay dude BUT THE STAGING WAS SO COOL with everyone like frozen and then they all kick back in all crazy with the music it was great

janis thoughts:

THEY FUCKING RUINED HEEEEEEEER

AULI’I WAS SO PERFECT SHE WAS SO CUTE AND HER OUTFITS ARE SO COOL BUT THEY JUST TOOK AWAY ALL OF HER PERSONALITY

janis is supposed to be spunky and angry and hurt and vengeful and quirky and out there and firey and she’s meant to HAVE GRIT GOTDANGIT but again she just felt so whitewashed. like here’s a vaguely leftist lesbian in ripped jeans and cool eyeshadow that’s janis right?? LIKE NO IT IS NOT

i’d rather be me, while it had a little less vocal oomph behind it than the stage show, was as transcendent as i hoped for and i got chills multiple times. also the comedic timing of the bus was immaculate and the sound it made made me cackle

i can’t tell how i feel about the new middle school incident. i think it takes so much of the pain out of it for janis which is meant to be her main motivator. she was not supposed to be KICKED OUT she was PULLED OUT but i do kind of like that they clearly made it where regina kissed a girl and liked it and freaked out and that was the catalyst for everything

i do not ship this version of cadnis and that to me is unforgivable. they have sooo little chemistry as friends let alone lovers i just can’t stand it. janis doesn’t ever even seem like she wants cady around. it seems so much like they took away what makes janis janis just to turn her into another catalyst for regina and cady’s stories

apex predator was fun!! i honestly like it being janis and damian singing it better than janis and cady i think it works better as a warning and stuff! and also the band in the tree made me laugh so hard. i’m glad cady had them as her tour guides but again that’s all it felt like they were to each other and i miss them being a little posse

REVENGE PARTYYYYYYUH. i thought the staging was really fucking weird?? like all the pastels and shit didn’t really fit i would’ve much preferred it to start like that and then have blood dripping down the walls or something when they’re talking ABOUT PEOPLES HEADS ON SPIKES. but musically it was my favorite of everything!! i’m so happy they put the original verse back i almost screamed out loud in the theater when i heard it!!!!!

i never thought i would say this but i wish they had not canonically made her a lesbian. i will never forgive tina fey for having her end up with that random girl. no shade to the girl, she’s gorgeous and i’m glad we got some on screen, good, healthy queer rep. but in my eyes that is absolutely just a cop out because they know people wanted her to end up with cady or regina. they’re spitting on us and saying “here have your fucking lesbian and enjoy it this is what you get” and expect us to be happy with it. i get so angry every time i think about it and it honestly kind of ruined the whole thing for me. i would rather she have ended up with kevin g again. or like. honestly damian romantically would’ve made more sense in a twisted fucked up way. i just absolutely hate how they handled that.

damian thoughts:

HE! WAS! PERFECT! i am a grey henson stan first and a human being second but by golly he might be my new favorite. comedic timing on point and the fact we barely get to hear him sing is a FELONY. he was delightful and i love him also we love black queer rep!!! fuck yeah!!!! his bit with the fan before id rather be me. sent me into the dang stratosphere i love him so much

ALSO HIS DATE AT RHE END WE LOVE THESTRE BOYYYYY!!! ugh so cute i love

regina thoughts:

HOW DID THEY MAKE HER SUCH A COWARD???? HOW DO YOU TAKE A CHARACTER WITH SO MUCH POWER AND FUCK HER UP THIS BAD???

again everything that’s a core tenet of her personality was removed. i wasn’t afraid of her which is a CRIME bc renee on broadway’s regina was TERRIFYING. she just felt like one of those girls that every hs has like 7 of. they’re a dime a dozen, they’re rich and hot shit and they know it but you don’t care what they do because you know they’ll be divorced and broke and probably fat at your 10 year reunion. it’s giving peaked in high school and not queen bee which is really sad honestly

it made cady seem so much more evil tho?? like regina seemed. hurt. and cady was still so gung ho about taking her down. and it made janis seem much more manipulative too. i don’t care for either of those things

her costumes were so weird??? half that shit regina would not touch with a ten foot pole but it’s renee and she would and she’s hot so i do not care. also this isn’t a criticism but her halloween costume was giving gargoyle more than angel lol

plastics thoughts:

gretchen again felt really reductive. she was all anxiety. not that gretchen isn’t that onstage but it just felt like that was her entire personality. but bebe was adorable and i loved what’s wrong with me she did a great job

avantika was DELIGHTFUL. i loved her so much more than i was expecting to she was the only one where i never had a moment like “i am watching people acting in a movie they are repeating written lines” it felt much more like fluid with her. 10/10 beautifully done to her

aaron thoughts:

HOW DID THEY MAKE HIM MORE BORING????? MY GOD

he was already the most redundant character in the whole goddamn thing and they somehow made him even more useless. he could’ve been removed from the movie entirely and it would’ve changed NOTHING. he is white bread if he was a spice he’d be flour. didn’t think it was possible to make him more that but by golly they did it

HOW DID HE AND CADY END UP TOGETHER HE HAS THE CHEMISTRY OF A BRICK WALL. she has so much more romantic fire and chemistry with regina this is some of the most comphet shit i’ve ever seen. it’s giving wicked levels of comphet like gooooddamn.

misc. thoughts:

THAT LINDSAY LOHAN CAMEO HAD ME OUTBOF MY SEAT I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING BUT IT WAS AMAZING also that “i don’t know your life” was mwah

MS NORBURY SND MR DUVALLLL WERE SO CUUUUUTE i squealed ngl i love them

overall like 7/10 good movie i’m angry about a whole bunch but this is also amazing i’m so glad we got this new content and i am definitely hyperfixating on it now. so not that different from my stage show opinions lol

[deadsince1973]

What happened to Despicable Me?

(SPOILERS for Despicable Me 4 ahead)

I went to see Despicable Me 4 today, and it was easily the worst of the franchise.

I think there were two overlapping problems. The first one is that there were too many characters and too many storylines, and they all felt truncated. The second is that the storylines themselves, truncated or not, were bad. Let's look at the storylines that we got.

First, the big point of this movie: Gru has a baby son now. The arc with the baby is that the baby doesn't like Gru, but then by the end, the baby learns to love his father. That is such a stupid storyline! Babies are not capable of determining who they like and who they dislike. That's just not how that stage of brain development works. I admit, I may not be the target audience of this movie (even though I should be; more on the below), but babies in movies are, in my opinion, annoying, and not at all cute or funny. I heard once that "all animals in movies act like dogs", and not just real dogs, but like idealized versions of dogs, who can think and emote like humans. I actually love that trope, because I love the fantasy that my pets or an exotic pet it would be cool to have could be a true friend to me, as an equal who could understand me and respond to me with intelligence and insight. I can only speculate that many people enjoy having the same fantasy about babies; all I'm certain of is that this storyline did not work for me at all.

Then there's the cluster of storylines making up the premise that Gru's family is now in witness protection. -Margot is upset about leaving her friends and having to start at a new school. She gets bullied on her first day. And that is the last we hear about that. -Edith and Agnes go to a karate class. (For the entire day? Why didn't Edith have to go to school?) She breaks the teacher's toe. And that's the last we hear about that. -Agnes is upset about having to leave Lucky, her pet unicorn/goat from Despicable Me 3. That does get wrapped up in the end, but it's absent from the middle of the movie. It's not even really an arc or a storyline, more a callback to the last movie. -Agnes is also upset about having to use a fake name in witness protection, because that's lying and she doesn't want to lie. That's potentially a good storyline because it would result in actual character growth, but it also goes nowhere! Agnes never uses her fake name, and that has no consequences (other than setting up Edith's story). -Lucy's new identity is a hairdresser, and she burns down the salon while working with her first client. The client later tries to chase her down in the grocery store for the sake of a wacky chase scene. Lucy and the girls escape, and we never hear from the injured client again. -Gru wants to make friends with his new neighbor in order to prove that he's not awkward. He plays tennis with the neighbor, but the game is interrupted by the arrival of the antagonist. The neighbor is never seen again.

Even though there isn't even enough room in the movie for all the family members, they still added a new character, Poppy. Poppy is the neighbor's teenage daughter and an aspiring supervillain who blackmails Gru into helping with a heist. Why? What does that have to do with either of the main two plots? (It does tie in with them, but it was entirely unnecessary to them.) Poppy later makes friends with Gru's daughters, but then she disappears during the climax, and she's only seen again during the ending montage, when we see that she got admitted to the villain school. What happened to her pet honey badger? We'll never know.

The A-plot, the one that's set up in the first scene, the one that drives Gru and his family into witness protection, the one that the movie ends on, is about Gru's high school bully. Really though, other than being the catalyst for putting Gru's family in witness protection, he has precious little role in the story. There's a reason this story is so far down the list. There's also yet another new character, Principal Ubelschlect. She's the boss fight of the heist Gru and Poppy do together, but, since the heist was pointless, she's a pointless character too. (This is how Poppy technically ties into both of the main storylines, by the way. Gru brought his son along on his heist, so the heist related to the bonding arc Gru had with him. But the heist was not the catalyst for the baby finally bonding with Gru, so what was the point of bringing the baby along at all?! And when the heist goes awry and Principal Ubelschlecht catches them in the act, she contacts the bully to join her in attacking Gru's safehouse. But there are any number of ways that the bully could have found Gru's location without making a whole other involved storyline that rivaled the main storyline for screen time! That should have been a single story beat, not a lengthy sequence.)

Of course, there are also the cutaways to the minions' wacky antics. This is why I say I should have been the target audience for this movie. I love the minions. Obviously this is a very small sample size, but it seemed to me that I laughed more at the minions in this movie than anyone else in the theater. I mean, if that's an accurate perception, then why were any of those other people even going to see this movie? Despicable Me is the minion franchise. If you don't like minions, this movie isn't for you. And if you do like minions, then this movie should be for you. Anyway, they split the minions into two groups for this movie: exactly the same symptom as the rest of the characters had! One group had a recurring gag about a minion being stuck in a vending machine. Okay, that doesn't need to be that developed. But it was entirely unrelated to the other minions' storyline, which felt weird! The other minions' storyline was the "Mega Minions", the ones in the promotional material. This storyline was about five minions who got superpowers and tried to become superheroes. It had nothing to do with any other plotline whatsoever. It felt a little bit like a retread of the mutated purple minions from the second movie, but the mutated minions actually connected to the main story of that movie!

Altogether, this movie just felt cobbled together from a bunch of disparate ideas. The animation felt as good to me as ever, but the writing and the design felt like it was rushed out the door. It felt like a bunch of people had got asked to write an idea for a funny thing to do with the characters from this franchise, and then they just put a bunch of those ideas in without considering how they would weave together into a single coherent movie.

And all of this is just my analysis of the problems with the stories. It doesn't address some of the other, smaller problems I had with the movie. -The baby was named Gru, Jr. I HATE when characters have a baby and they name one of them "Junior". Not only does it smack of a lack of creativity, but it also really shows how little the writers value the character. This might seem a little hypocritical after I implied above that babies aren't even human and complained about how there shouldn't have been so much of the baby in the movie, but I think calling a baby "Junior" exacerbates the problem. It's implicitly telling me, the viewer, not to care about this character as his own person, but to think of him as an extension of his father. Why should I care about him then?

Speaking of wanting less of the baby in the movie, I just want to add that part of the reason why I dared to have higher hopes for this movie despite the presence of the baby in the marketing is because of the Shrek movies. A friend of mine told me the other day that they had noped out of the Shrek franchise when babies became involved because they feel the exact same way I do about babies in media. But I don't really think that's fair. Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After did an admirable job of keeping the babies on the periphery. I'm just bringing this up to say that that was very much an option for this movie too. They could've had their cake and eaten it too.

Almost as criminal as the poor writing was the poor design. The main villain, the bully, was cockroach-themed. That's not bad, per se, but compare him to the villains from previous films: Vector, who had both direction and magnitude (how memorable was that line?!); El Macho and his pet chicken; Bratt and his 1980's theming; Scarlet, with her feminist bent and perky personality, and her husband Herb who was delightfully 1960's; and the Vicious 6, all of whom had amusing puns for names: Jean-Clawed, Nun-Chuck, and Svengeance being the stand-outs for me. I guess, on paper, a cockroach theme isn't any worse than any of these other villains, but Maxime really had nothing else going for him other than his French accent. He didn't have a funny name, he didn't have an over-the-top personality, and he didn't have a particularly memorable style.

Finally, and here's where I'm fine with being disagreed with because it's just a matter of taste, but: as a general rule, I don't like bathroom humor in kid's movies. There were two jokes that were just about an animal pooing, and, worst of all in my opinion, was one of the English words in the Minionese. My friend and I had been discussing whether the one Mega Minion had "a cone head" or "was a missile." Well, one of the other minions shouted "suppository" when it jumped off a rooftop. So that clears that argument up. -_-

I just think this is a real shame because, while the other movies weren't flawless (except possibly for Minions), they all had a charm to them and at least a few good jokes. I'm also the type of person to find the storylines of Despicable Me 2 and 3 painful, but at least there were enough moments that I found sweet or endearing in those movies that I still enjoyed them more than I expected I would. This was the opposite, because the only moment I found charming at all was when the camera did a fly-through of the AVL office and we saw the minions participating in a wide variety of activities. I'm always a sucker for that.

This honestly makes me reluctant to hope for a future for this franchise. :/

[strifethedestroyer]

my uncle died. hm

this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.

[stepfordgoth]

Instead of sleeping I just read the entire Wikipedia page for the Byzantine empire. Just for funsies.

[basilpaste]

slay the savior art up.... soon.

[the-trans-dragon]

Hello "use Firefox" entities. If anyone would have fun expanding upon the suggestion, my phone came with like 20 google apps and I would prefer to have 0. I'm doubt that is 100% possible because there are very few default programs. Example: no default calender or photo app--just google calendar and google photo. But good lord there are too many of them

Is there a "use Firefox" suggestion for email/calendar/map/file viewer/anything?

<3

[lord-of-the-ducks]

“Uncle T’s allotment: safe, but about 9 miles away, too far”

I know that there’s a cultural difference between what British people and Americans consider to be “too far” but this legit made me double take because What Do You Mean 9 Miles Is Too Far???? That’s like??? A regular distance??? Isn’t it??? Am I going insane???

[flying-potato2]

raytraced render of the same exact donut as the previous post

[ilikedetectives]

.