#took a break to answer this ask from 2021 ❀(*´◡`*)❀

[yeosin-n]

Do it!

smooch him and hold his hands!

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 29

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TBH! At this point, this is a joint collab with @paigereeder 😭. GOAT!

Thursday, September 2nd 2021 

Airielle’s peaceful slumber was interrupted by her phone ringing. Groaning, she snatched her phone off the floor next to her and squinted at the screen to see who was calling her. “Oh my god.” She muttered before accepting the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Why in the fuck didn’t you tell me Christopher popped the fuck back up. I knew I should’ve killed that motherfucker when I had the chance.” Her older brother Isaiah seethed over the phone and Airielle sighed closing her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Airielle!” He shouted into the phone when she didn’t respond. 

“Because I had it under control.” Airielle looked behind her as Josh started to shift in his sleep, sighing she threw the covers off of her and walked into the living room to finish her conversation. 

“Uh-huh, sure you do. He broke into your spot -” 

“And I moved, problem solved.” She shrugged, eyes glancing around the living room just taking in how much he had actually gotten rid of. “Shouldn’t you be working?” 

Isaiah snorted. “I took the day off.” 

“Hmm,” Airielle hummed. “And that’s why you’ll never be Dad’s favorite” 

“Eat my - “ Airielle hung up before her brother could finish his statement. Rolling her eyes she threw her phone on the island. She looked up when she heard Josh shuffling into the living room. 

“Everything Aight?” Josh mumbled as he walked closer to Airielle and kissed her cheek. 

“Yeah, my brother being a pain in my ass.” She replied, rolling her eyes when he chuckled. “What you got going on today?” 

“Nothing. I gotta do some laundry and gotta pack. Got Smackdown and the House show this weekend.” 

“You wanna go get some breakfast first?” She asked, tapping the screen on her phone to see what time it was. “I’m kinda craving waffles.” 

“You already know the answer to that.” Airielle rolled her eyes with a smile as she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his chest. 

“Can you believe it’s about to be a year since we met?”  It's crazy to think about all the ups and downs they went through in a year! If she could go back and change anything it would definitely be breaking up with him after he asked her to move in with him. That would have saved them months of heartbreak. 

“You wanna hear somethin’ wild?” He waited until she lifted her head from his chest to continue. “That wasn’t the first time we actually met.” 

Airielle furrowed her eyebrows together and tilted her head a little. 

“Huh?” 

“We actually met back in 2019. Me and twin had a meeting with Hunter, down at the PC and I saw you there. I mean I was looking, respectfully, but I was still looking.” He laughed when Airielle rolled her eyes again.  “Hunter told us he was taking us off TV after Jon’s latest arrest but he still had - 

“Y’all cut a promo for us.” She whispered as the memory of their first meeting came rushing back. “I remember y’all looking so pissed but still came and cut like one the best promos I ever heard.” 

“Mmhmm.” Josh hummed while nodding his head. “I remember trying to come talk to you, but you weren’t even trying to give ya boy the time of day. I mean I understand why now but shit, back then I thought you were like this stuck up bi-” He stopped himself when she narrowed her eyes at him. He cleared his throat. “You know what I mean.” 

“I mean I was a bitch to you when I came to the main roster.”  Josh nodded his head in agreement and Airielle sucked her teeth, pulling away from him. 

“What? you said it, not me.”  Just as she went to smartass him, his stomach released the loudest grumble she had ever heard. They both stared at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You the one who brought up waffles, I mean you already know how I get down.” Airielle sucked her teeth and pushed him away from her before walking back towards his room so she could grab her clothes to shower. 

“I feel like they just need to go ahead and sponsor your greedy ass Uce.” She chuckled, her back to him as she shuffled through her bag looking for something to wear to breakfast. She stood up straight and gasped as she turned and bumped into Josh. 

“Whatchu’ just call me?”  Airielle bit her lip to stop herself from smiling at the look he was giving her. “Airielle, stop playing with me.” 

“You wanna go get waffles or not?”  Josh tilted his head as he stared at her. He was really contemplating on not going to the Waffle House with her because who the fuck did she think he was. Uce, had she lost her damn mind? He wasn’t her damn Uce. He went to tell her that they weren't going to breakfast but his stomach growled again making her smile. “That’s what I thought.” 

AirielleJones

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“You gon glare at me throughout breakfast or what?”  Airielle asked him as the waitress walked away to put in their orders. “Why can’t I call you Uce?” She pouted. 

“Cause I don’t fuck my family Airielle.” 

“Boy –” 

“Oh my god. Look at you! You’ve gotten so big.” A new voice interrupted their conversation. Both Airielle and Josh both turned towards the new voice. Josh narrowed his eyes as he looked at the woman. She was older than both of them, with dark brown skin; for some reason, her facial features reminded him of Airielle. Josh turned to look at Airielle to ask if she knew who the hell this lady was but he stopped short once he saw the look on Airie’s face. He had only seen that look one time before. 

A couple weeks before she broke up with him she had this same look when he had tried to initiate sex but she wasn’t in the mood for it. That’s the same day he found out Christopher used to force her to have sex with him. He remembers her telling him that her old therapist called it dissociating. Josh immediately stood up and stepped in front of this lady, blocking Airielle, who was still sitting in the booth, from her view. 

“You good?” Josh asked the woman, straightening his shoulders so he was standing at full height. 

“Are you her bodyguard or something?” Another voice piped up from behind the older women and Josh definitely knew that they had to be related to Airielle in some sort of fashion because this girl and Airielle could pass off as twins. 

“Yup. Now answer my question, Y’all good?”  

“You must be Joshua.” The older woman said. Holding her hand out to him. “I’m Abigail and this is my daughter Janelle.” 

“Cool, y’all can leave now.” He said eyeing her hand with disgust. Whoever this woman was made Airielle uncomfortable and he wanted her away from them ASAP. Abigail’s hand hung in the air awkwardly for a moment before she withdrew it and cleared her throat, forcing a smile on her face. 

“Airielle please tell this man that I am your mother and I just want to talk to you.” Josh’s eyebrows shot up at the news. “Please solèy –” 

“Don’t call me that,” Airielle spoke up. “You have no right to call me that.” Airielle stood up from the booth and grabbed Josh’s hand. “I want to leave.” Josh nodded his head immediately. Breakfast forgotten, he ushered Airielle back to his car. 

“You okay?” Josh asked as he pulled out of The Waffle House parking lot. 

“No,” Airielle said. “Pull over.” As soon as the car came to a stop, Airielle threw open the passenger door and threw up nothing but stomach acid. “Fuck!” she cried out. 

Josh handed her a bottle of water and she thanked him, swishing it around in her mouth before spitting it out.  “That was–” 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t gotta talk about it.” 

“I know.” Airielle smiled and grabbed his hand, stroking the back of it with her thumb. “But I wanna be more open and honest with you.” Josh bit his lip and nodded. “That was my birth mom and her daughter I guess.” 

“Y’all not close. I take it.” 

“Nah,” Airielle shook her head. “She left when – well right after she gave birth to me. She never wanted me, never wanted a daughter, but I see a lot has changed in the past thirty years. I remember growing up, she would always send my brother’s gifts and cards on their birthdays but never mine. I didn’t really care because I didn’t remember her anyway. But um- one day I was just curious as to why she seemed to ignore my existence so I got her address off of one of the packages she sent my brothers and wrote her a letter.” 

Airielle quickly wiped away her tears. She hated crying over this woman. Josh squeezed Airielle’s hand gently. “She wrote me back. Which kinda shocked me but I was happy that she did. I was thinking she was just gonna tell me that she was just feelin' guilty about leaving me but, she said the complete opposite. She wrote me 4 pages, front and back, telling about how many times she unsuccessfully tried to abort me. How she tried to give me up for adoption without my father knowing. How she had a plan to tell my dad that I had died during childbirth.” 

Josh’s jaw was damn near on the floor as he listened to Airielle. No wonder she’s so emotionally challenged  He thought. 

“She blamed me for the fact that she couldn’t see her boys grow up, she blamed me because my dad chose to raise me instead of be with her. The final thing she wrote to me was, I wish you would have died. Do not contact me again. So I didn’t, I ripped the letter up and burned it. Never told my dad or my brothers about it and obviously neither did she.” 

“What the fuck.” Josh whispered, his hand tightened into a fist on his thigh. Abigail or whatever her name is better than her lucky stars that Josh didn’t put his hands on women. 

“Yeah I mean, I just wanted my mom, but she didn’t want me..” Airielle shrugged as she tried to stop the tears but it was too much. She had pushed Abigail and her hurtful words into the back of her mind in the folder with Chris and her unborn baby. Seeing her today just opened up a wound that Airielle thought had semi-healed. 

Josh pushed his seat back and pulled her over the center console so she could sit in his lap. He held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. Josh gently stroked her back, his voice low and soothing. “It’s alright. I’m right here, okay? We gon’ get through this.”

As her crying eased, Josh kept her close, feeling her heart slow against his. He didn’t let go, knowing she needed this more than anything. He wasn’t just comforting her; he was vowing to stand up for her in every way he could.

Whew.. Miss Abigail is a trip!

What do y'all think about this chapter??

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Abigail Noelle Roy

Janelle Noelle Roy

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[another-supernova-girl]

Bleed American - Wyatt Walker ("Ida Red" 2021) x Fem OC

* Part 1 : Salt *

I'm taking a short break from my Cooper Abbott fic to indulge in another Hartnett character that I had actually started writing for before I watched Trap. This is canon divergent from the last, oh, 30 minutes of the movie (where Ida gets paroled as agreed upon, so Wyatt and Dallas don't have to do the violent plane theft job, and Dallas doesn't have to die, and Wyatt doesn't have to go to prison 💙). Feel free to check out my Josh Hartnett masterlist for all my writing of his characters so far. Comments and reblogs with unique are very appreciated (I'm sorry if I don't respond, I do see them and read them all and they give me about the only serotonin I have left these days). Gif is mine .Also...I really hate onions.

(( word count ~ 6,800 ))

“I'm...I know, I'm sorry, just...can't you just come pick me up?” Darla whined into the phone, to her older brother, knowing that calling up her so-called 'mom' or 'dad' was more than she was ready to deal with, after the events of the night so far. She glanced over to the woman at her side, sitting on the edge of the stage, an apologetic look on her face as she waited for the voice on the other end to speak up. After a few moments, she started nodding, spewing thank you's and more sorry's, and disconnected the call, letting out a breath. “My brother an' my uncle are gonna come pick me up,” she confirmed as she slipped her phone into her pocket. “I'm sorry for makin' you wait.”

“It's okay...I just wanna make sure you get home safe.”

* * *

“Alright, baby girl, I can't wait to hear an explanation,” Wyatt Walker's voice rang out as he stepped into the mostly empty building, his uncle, Dallas Walker, at his back, the two of them glancing around for signs of life.

“I didn't do nothin' wrong,” Darla vocalized her defense, Wyatt and Dallas following her voice until they reached the main room of the establishment, featuring a bar, several tables pushed back toward the walls, and a small stage for live music, serving as a perch for Darla, and a young woman neither of her relatives had ever laid eyes on.

“No, 'course not, someone else-” Dallas spoke up, but Darla's nervous voice piped up again.

“Ask Lex, she'll tell you! I didn't...it wasn't my fault,” she huffed, crossing her arms and looking to the non-relative at her side for back-up. “Lex?”

Wyatt and Dallas both directed their dark eyes to the stranger, who suddenly looked quite nervous herself. “I...well, it's true,” Lex uttered, and Darla threw her arms up as if that were the end of the conversation, hopping off the edge of the stage and walking toward one of the tables to grab her bag, leaving the stranger alone with the two men before her. Dallas watched as she wandered away, his gaze quickly gravitating toward the bar, which he began to approach, leaving his nephew alone with the stranger.

“Lex, huh?” Wyatt spoke up as he eyed her casually, reaching his hand out, and carefully grasping hers when she took it and hopped down.

“Alexandria,” she mumbled, her eyes darting toward the teenage girl as she snagged a bar stool and sat upon it to grab a beer she was definitely not legally old enough to drink next to her uncle, who grabbed a bottle of the same.

“Alexandria,” Wyatt repeated, nodding as she extracted her hand from his, and following her as she walked across the empty room to join the other two. “So what excitement did we miss tonight that you couldn't call your mama about-”

“She ain't my mama-” Darla murmured, and Wyatt closed his eyes, his expression becoming momentarily tense as he sat down.

“You know what I mean,” he answered, but his gruff demeanor quickly faltered as he glanced at his little sister. He couldn't stay mad at her, not for much of anything. “Well, we ain't gonna get the truth outta this one,” he declared, shifting his gaze instead to the new acquaintance. “How 'bout you?”

Lex opened her mouth briefly before closing it again without a noise. She hadn't expected a conversation, just a confirmation that the girl was in safe hands so she could head back to her motel room.

“Well, damn, Wyatt, you're makin' her nervous,” Dallas spoke up, and Lex followed the voice to the man farthest from her. “What was your name, sweetheart?” he asked, reaching out a hand that Lex tentatively grasped.

“Lex,” she mumbled, and the eldest of the quartet nodded.

“Well, I'm Dallas, I'm Darla's uncle, and this is Wyatt, her brother. He ain't usually this rude,” he concluded, and Wyatt let out an audible breath. “Why don't you tell us what went down?”

“Well...,” Lex began again, licking her uncomfortably dry lips, not even slightly more at ease than she had been before she knew their names. “We were on stage-”

“We?” Wyatt asked immediately.

“Yeah, my band and I-”

“You're in a band?” Dallas inquired, surprised, though he supposed the vibrantly dyed purple hair and calloused hand he'd shaken made more sense in retrospect.

“Yeah, we suck. Anyway,” she continued before she could be cut off again, “we were playing, and I saw this girl,” she quickly indicated Darla, “getting groped by some guy in the crowd, and it was pretty obvious she wasn't about it, so I stopped the show and had security pull him on stage, and...”

There was silence for a few seconds before Wyatt's voice sounded, repeating her last word, “And?”

“And, I...tased him in the crotch,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders at the male grunts on either side of her.

“Twice,” Darla added, Wyatt looking to his youngest sister, Dallas taking another swig of beer.

“I asked him if he knew how old she was, and he said something about how she was dressed, and it was pretty clear the message hadn't sunk in,” she continued, “so I electrocuted him until he couldn't stand up.”

“Well, that's...not what I expected,” Dallas declared, setting his bottle down, glancing to the musician, and his nephew beside her. “And where's this guy now?”

“Um...no idea? But, uh...” she paused, shifting her weight on the stool and reaching into one of her back pockets to pull out a government-issued piece of plastic, and placing it in Dallas' hand when he reached out for it. “I snagged his license, in case she decided to press charges, after all, and I asked security to remove him. I figured it was safest for Darla, here,” she acknowledged, reaching to grasp the teenager's hand, “if she had someone trustworthy come pick her up, just in case.” She heard the seat beside her squeak under the brother's weight, and glanced his way reflexively.

“Well, that's awfully upstanding of you,” he drawled, his face seeming a bit kinder than it had the last time she'd looked his way.

“Well, we...try to make sure wherever we play if a safe space for the girls and the gays, so...” she shrugged again, finding it harder this time to look away from him.

“Well, on behalf of the girls, and, uh...” he motioned to his uncle, who raised his beer in acknowledgment, before taking another drink, “ the gays, that's much appreciated.”

Lex glanced Dallas' way and let out a light chuckle, eyes drifting back to Darla, who seemed more at ease after the vocal explanation. “Well, anyway, you're here now, and I'm sure she's in good hands, and I really should be go-”

“Well, hold up, now. Where do you think you're going,” Wyatt cut in before Dallas could, the two men clearly on the same page as they caught each other's gaze.

“...Away?” Lex hedged, easing off her bar stool.

“Nah, we can't have that,” Wyatt stated as he reached out, snagging a belt loop on her jeans with one finger. “You saved our girl, here. Least we can do is buy you dinner,” he offered, though with his digit clinging to the loop at her hip, it seemed more like a demand. “You hungry? Dallas, you hungry? Darla?”

“Starved,” Dallas declared, Darla nodding, looking to Lex for her answer.

“I...I guess.”

* * *

“Are they always that intense?” Lex asked the teen at her side as she drove behind Dallas' car, toward the 24-hour diner they had suggested, having declined the offer to ride along in the same vehicle as both of the men.

“I guess...I mean, not really...sorta,” Darla mumbled, playing with the charm on her necklace as she watched their surroundings from the passenger seat. “Dallas is always kinda crazy...Wyatt was actin' kinda weird, though,” she admitted.

“Like he expected you to be the cause of the trouble?” Lex ventured, glancing briefly to her side, before her gaze flitted back to the road.

Darla let out a soft laugh before answering, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“You run to them for help a lot?”

“Wyatt, mostly. He was my favorite uncle, and then I found out he's actually my brother, and...it's just confusin', I guess. He still backs me up, though,” Darla continued. “He ain't mean, or nothin'. I think he's just been stressed out. Guess I ain't exactly helpin'.” The conversation dwindled to a mostly comfortable silence as Lex's car continued to follow Dallas', the restaurant finally coming into view, to her relief.

* * *

“Ah, not the salad. Don't tell me you're one of those girls,” Dallas chided as Lex flipped through the menu and landed in the health-conscious section of the laminated booklet. “Get some meat on them bones, girl!”

“Do you have any idea how much fast food I get stuck eating on the road? I am cheeseburger-ed out,” she retorted, glancing to the elder of the two men, before returning to the description to figure what she'd need to have left out. She wasn't about to sit and pick out onions from her greens in front of these people.

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled, taking a swig of beer from a new bottle provided by the diner, another reason she'd chosen not to ride with the men.

Somehow, she'd managed to find herself in the middle of a round booth, in much the same layout of group members from the bar : Wyatt, herself, Darla and Dallas. How it kept happening this way, she wasn't sure, and regardless of how obnoxiously handsome both of these men were, she couldn't shake her discomfort.

“You spend a lot of time on the road?” Wyatt spoke up, and Lex glanced his way before shifting her eyes back to the menu. His presence had felt intimidating in the shadowy bar that doubled as her band's venue for the night, but in the florescent light of the diner, he was even harder to look away from. It took a conscious effort not to stare, and his arms outstretched, resting along the upholstered edge of the booth seating, and nearly at the back of her neck, wasn't helping.

“We mostly do local venues, but when we leave the city, we try to schedule as many stops as we can to get the most out of the trip,” she answered, taking a drink of water.

“And what's local?” he continued, reaching with the hand not inches from her shoulder to push his hair out of his face.

“Um...Oklahoma City,” she confirmed, and he nodded, as did Dallas.

“ 'Bout a hundred miles away,” the older of the two acknowledged, and she nodded. “How you like it, down there?”

“I don't,” Lex uttered immediately, which earned her glances from both men, before the entire table lifted their gaze at the approaching, elderly waitress, each guest proceeding to rattle off their order, ending with Lex, who specified what she did and didn't want on her salad, and feeling the eyes on her from the inhabitants of the table, finishing off her order with, “and a banana shake.” After the waitress disappeared again, Lex glanced to Dallas' smirking face. “Happy?” He shrugged in response.

“Sure...I'm gonna judge you on those onions though-”

“My mother made it her mission to put onions in almost everything she could, okay? I hate them. I'll always hate them, and you can't make me feel bad about it,” she cut in defensively, Dallas' smirk widening, Wyatt remaining silent as his limbs shifted slightly, his tanned arm brushing against her neck, the ends of her purple ponytail tickling his skin.

“Alright!” Dallas exclaimed, throwing his hands up in defense. “So, anyway...what's it like, being a rock star?” he inquired, receiving an eye roll from Lex, though Darla's attention perked up at the question.

“I...couldn't tell you,” Lex admitted with a small laugh, shaking her head slightly.

“Not the fake modestly,” Dallas protested, but Lex shook her head, firm in her convictions.

“No, really...I mean, you saw how tiny that stage was, right? How small that venue was? No, if you wind up at one of our shows, it's probably by accident,” Lex explained, taking another drink.

“Well...you look the part, at least,” Wyatt suddenly spoke up, and Lex felt his hand graze the back of her neck, playing at the ends of her dyed hair.

“Yeah, I guess,” Lex murmured, unsure how she felt about the physical attention. He still unnerved her, maybe even more than the older man at the other end of the booth.

“So...” Dallas spoke up again, his eyes shifting to his nephew, and back to the new acquaintance, “what's the deal? Can't play your instruments of somethin'?”

“Because we're a girl band?” Lex asked suddenly, head tilting, eyes slightly narrowed. “Because girls can't play their instruments?” When Dallas shrugged, she shook her head slightly and relaxed more fully against the upholstered seating, Wyatt's arm drifting back around the edge again, the nape of her neck against his sleeve. “We currently have three guys, and me, by the way. I'm the only girl.”

“Currently?” Wyatt's voice again.

“Yeah, that's, uh...that's kinda part of the problem. We're constantly losing and gaining and swapping members. I think I've been with them the longest at this point. We mostly do covers, though, so it doesn't really matter who's playing or singing or whatever,” she finished.

“And that doesn't bother you?” Wyatt asked suddenly, Lex turning to look in his direction, to the chocolate brown eyes that hid in the shadow of his brow.

“Um...some days, I suppose. I guess I...I was never really a songwriter. I mostly just wanted to learn to play the songs I already loved, from other bands. Certainly not itching to get famous or anything.”

* * *

The conversation carried on steadily until their meals came, and a mostly comfortable silence filled their corner of the diner as they ate, Dallas and Wyatt finally shifting some down the booth so everyone could stretch their arms and eat comfortably. In the midst of finishing their meals, Lex cleared her throat and mumbled an “excuse me”, indicating for Wyatt to move so she could exit the booth, the younger man slipping out and stepping around to the other side to sit by his uncle until she returned. As soon as she slipped through the women's bathroom door, Lex put her weight against it, and the back of her shirt slid against the glossy wood until she sat on the tile floor, taking a deep breath.

When she'd pulled the creep on stage to humiliate him and zap him with her taser-like stun gun, she never expected the rest of her evening to turn into this. She certainly had no regrets in saving Darla, of course, as she'd hope that anyone on stage who saw such behavior would do the same, but...she had not signed up for this, sitting at a table in some secluded diner in the middle of the night with a couple of 'good ol' boys'. Regardless of how admittedly attractive both of them were, they were intense and intimidating, and she had not felt comfortable since the moment they'd walked into the venue that night. “Just a little longer...it's almost over, I'm almost free,” she mumbled to herself as she sat with her face in her hands, cross-legged on the floor. She wondered briefly how much charge was left in her little stun gun.

Deciding she might as well make the most of her time away from the group, she quickly used the facilities and rinsed off her face, swished some water around in her mouth to loosen any spare bits from the salad, checking her reflection, taking her hair down to redo it...and wondering why she was taking the time to groom herself at all, given the situation. With a last glance in the mirror, she stepped toward the door and pulled it open, and nearly yelped at what she found waiting for her.

“Jesus, fuck, what is with you two?!” she exclaimed in as hushed a tone as she could manage, confronted with Wyatt, waiting just outside the door in the narrow hallway.

“You were gone so long-” he began in his cool demeanor, but she quickly cut him off.

“And?! I don't...I don't fucking know you. I haven't done anything to you, or your uncle, or your sister. I did a nice thing, and ever since you two showed up, I feel like I'm being sized up and interrogated and shit,” she huffed, letting out the frustration she'd kept locked inside the last few hours. “What is with all this,” Lex continued, looking around to make sure there weren't more strangers approaching, “all this intimidation crap?”

Wyatt slumped against the wall behind him, though it put little distance between them, watching her thoughtfully. “Didn't realize I was-”

“Really?” Lex challenged, reaching for his waist to snag a finger around his belt loop and giving it a tug, as he had done to her at the bar. “Grabbing me like this, and hovering and touching me, that doesn't...” her words faltered as he dipped his chin to drop his gaze from her eyes to his waist, where she gripped his jeans, staring for several seconds before he extended his own hand to carefully grasp hers and draw it away.

“You're right,” he admitted, running his free hand over his chin and cheek to scratch lightly at the facial hair that decorated his skin. “It's, uh...it's been a tough year, and I suppose it's made it hard to trust people, and my own instincts. And that's got nothin' t' do with you,” he explained, running his thumb absently over her knuckle. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It weren't my intention. I guess it's just...habit,” Wyatt continued, and Lex's gaze finally shifted from their connected hands, up to his face again, his pretty brown eyes framed by those charming brows. “Can we start over?”

* * *

Another half hour had passed by the time Dallas stood up to give his arms a stretch, glancing over at Wyatt and shifting his head to indicate the younger man follow him, the two of them leaving the booth to walk across the diner, toward the register to pay the bill.

“He ain't with nobody,” Darla whispered as soon as she presumed them out of earshot, and a smile spread across Lex's lips, shaking her head as she let out a breath of amusement.

“I wasn't planning on asking,” she answered, glancing over at the two men, oddly huddled together, as if in a secret conversation of their own.

“Oh, come on. You two've been making eyes at each other since...well, at least since you got back from the bathroom,” Darla protested, but Lex continued to dismiss her.

“We live a hundred miles apart-”

“So?” the teenager's voice took on a whiny tone in protest.

“And he's gotta be close to twenty years older than me-”

“Sooo?” Darla continued, as if she were speaking to one of her schoolmates.

“Annnd...” Lex whined back, a little exasperated. “We don't even know each other.”

“Well, I can give you his phone number,” Darla offered eagerly, and Lex put her elbows on the table, her face in her hands, covering her eyes as she leaned forward.

Meanwhile, across the diner, Dallas leaned on his own elbows against the varnished surface of the bar counter, his voice hushed as Wyatt leaned against the same counter at his side.

“She sure is somethin',” the older man muttered, staring at a rogue menu, considering whether of not to get a dessert to go.

“Yeah, I noticed,” Wyatt answered, staring at nothing in particular.

“I noticed you noticin',” Dallas responded, thumbing through the laminated pages. “So, you want me to...pop outside and kick her taillight in or somethin'?” When Wyatt finally looked directly at him with an indignant stare, Dallas continued. “She can't go home with a busted taillight...someone's gotta fix it so she don't get pulled over...and damned if you don't just happen to own an auto shop-”

“Yeah, Dallas, I get your meaning. I'm not an idiot,” he answered, shaking his head. “And how exactly do you think that's gonna look after the night we've had?”

“Hey, I'm not the one that decided to spend half the night acting like a dick-”

“Fuck,” Lex's voice sounded from across the diner, and both men shifted their gaze in the girls' direction.

“What's wrong?” Darla piped up, sliding out of the booth and walking toward Lex, standing directly in front of the glass entrance door. Heavy rain drops plopped down from the sky, soaking everything in sight, coating the windows of the cars in the parking lot and giving them a sheen of fog. Dallas and Wyatt had crossed the restaurant by the time she answered.

“My windshield wipers are...pretty much useless,” she huffed, leaning her forehead against the glass, water vapor collecting where she breathed against it. “I didn't exactly plan to be out until...fuck, almost 2am,” she sighed as she looked at her phone. She knew rain was on the way, she just thought she'd be able to beat it, easily.

Wyatt and Dallas were already exchanging glances by the time Darla's voice sounded again. “Well, Wyatt's got an auto shop just a couple miles away,” she explained, and Lex lifted her forehead from the glass to turn and glance over her shoulder at the two Walker men who had gathered.

* * *

“Thanks for this,” Lex mumbled as she watched the rain through the passenger window of her car, Wyatt in the driver's seat, having split up from Dallas, who'd agreed with absolutely no complaints to take Darla home.

“It's nothin',” Wyatt answered, tempted to sneak a glance at the young woman beside him, but thinking better of it with the rain coming down as hard as it was, the rubber squeegees of the wipers uselessly flopping around like spaghetti noodles as they swiped noisily across the windshield. “You saved our girl...that's worth a lot more than a salad and a milkshake.”

Lex was quiet for several moments before she spoke up again, leaning her head to the side against the upholstery of her seat. “I half expected you to lecture me for letting them get this bad,” she confessed.

“Yeah...you get this one, lecture free. I'm not your daddy. Just don't let the new ones...what?” he glanced over for the briefest second when he noticed an odd expression on her face in the periphery of his vision. She shook her head, but continued her silence. “Did I say something funny?”

“Don't worry about it,” she mumbled, glancing out the window again, a crooked smile on her lips.

True to Darla's word, not ten minutes of driving passed before Wyatt's combination auto shop and car lot came into view, Wyatt pulling in when he was near enough and driving around the back to the dock doors, Lex breathing a sigh of relief.

“See? Told you I'd get you there. I ain't got an umbrella though...can't promise you won't get wet,” he stated as he got out of the parked car and closed the door behind him, walking around the front as Lex watched him, stepping out when he opened the passenger door. “What?” he asked as he glanced briefly to her face, but stating nothing else as she followed him with narrowed eyes back around the other side to the front door. When they stepped inside, Wyatt quickly locked the door behind himself, and walked past her as she stared at him, wandering toward his office. He stopped suddenly in his tracks at the unmistakable sound of angry electricity, swerving around to look upon the young woman, still situated near the front door, grasping the device she'd zapped the creep at the concert with, earlier.

“Just testing it,” she stated simply, sliding it back into the purse she carried.

“Right...how about you find a place to sit and get comfortable, and I'll get your car in here and take a look,” he offered, wary of the small but powerful weapon, resuming his walk toward his office. Lex didn't take a step until he'd disappeared from view.

* * *

“So what do you do, when you're not playing, uh...what was it you said you played?” Wyatt's voice rang through the shop as he gathered various tools and bottles of fluid, the wipers swapped out for new ones without issue.

“A little bit of everything, mostly bass though...I didn't ask you to do that,” Lex spoke up as she realized her car was slowly rising into the air, Wyatt activating jacks underneath.

“No, you didn't...but your oil is filthy,” the mechanic declared, drawing out the dipstick to show her, Lex waving her hand as she approached.

“That's okay, I believe you,” she mumbled, putting her hands on her waist as she watched him pull up a rolling board to lie on and disappear beneath her car. Before he even touched metal with his hands, he felt himself being pulled back out, and he found the musician crouched beside him when he reappeared, her hand firm on the molded plastic his weight lay upon. “Why are you doing this?”

“Like I said, your oil is-”

“Good enough to get me home,” she cut him off, shifting her legs until she sat on the cement floor beside him. “I'm grateful for the new wipers, but you don't need to do all this.”

“It's really no big deal,” Wyatt shrugged, and vanished again when Lex loosened her grip.

“So, is this what passes for flirting up here? Topping off a girl's fluids?” she asked, leaning forward to balance her elbow on her leg, her cheek against her palm as she glanced around at her surroundings.

“You make it sound so dirty,” Wyatt's voice floated out from underneath the car.

“I saw your finger nails, you're way past dirty,” she mumbled, sliding back a bit when the little wheels beneath his body began to move and he reappeared before her, fresh grease stains on his cheek and forehead. “Definitely dirty,” she observed, but her smile was a pleasant and welcome sight to behold. “Do you need anything?”

Wyatt looked thoughtful, and he stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out some change, dimes and half a dozen quarters. “Why don't you go grab a drink from the vending machine.”

“That's not what I meant-”

“I know what you meant. I've got this handled, darlin', you just relax.” When she wandered off for a few minutes, and reemerged, it wasn't the sound of a can opening that met his ears, but a box full of something loose inside. “What'd you get?”

“Sour Patch Kids,” Lex declared, tearing at the thin cardboard as Wyatt slid out into view again. “What?”

“You took my Sour Patch Kids?” he asked, and she glanced down at the box. “Those are my favorites.”

“You gave me the money,” she mumbled, easing open the plastic bag inside and dumping a few pieces into her own hand.

“I said a drink,” he reminded, but there was no edge in his voice, or on his face. “Everybody around here knows the Sour Patch Kids are mine.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn't keep them in the vending machine,” she shrugged, watching as he started to reach for the box in her hands. “No, your hands are gross...here.” She plucked a piece out of the bag and hovered it over his lips, which he immediately parted, accepting the tangy treat. “Are you about done under there?”

Wyatt chewed briefly and swallowed, turning his head to glance back at her elevated car. “I guess I'm just stallin',” he finally admitted.

Lex nodded and glanced up at her car, freshly serviced and in much better shape to hit the road. “Yeah, I kinda guessed that.”

“You gotta drive home tonight?” he inquired suddenly, and something about the question felt more like a sort of invitation. She dipped her slender fingers into the box and drew out another piece of candy, offering it to him when he opened his mouth again.

“In the morning. I have a motel room, tonight...that I will be going back to, alone,” she clarified when he raised his thick brows.

“Now, did I say anything about-”

“No, but you said, yourself, that you're stalling,” she reminded, dropping another sour-coated gummy into his mouth, his larger, grease-stained hand grasping hers suddenly when she started to pull it away. He was quiet for several seconds, content to stare into her dark green eyes, before he finally spoke up.

“You gonna electrocute me with that zap stick if I try to kiss you?” he whispered, his eyes trained on hers.

Lex watched the mechanic thoughtfully, his body practically sprawled out on the floor, before her. “God, this has been such a weird fuckin' night,” she finally declared, and his lips twitched in response.

“That ain't exactly the answer I was looking for,” he retorted, and Lex leaned away again as he slid out completely from beneath the car and sat up on the rolling board. “You got a boyfriend at home, or somethin'?” She glanced away, shaking her head, the loose strands of violet hair by her ears swaying. “Or a girlfriend?”

“No, I...I'm not seeing anybody,” she admitted, looking back at him as he lifted himself off the board and rose to his feet, reaching a dirty hand out that she stared at for a few seconds before accepting.

“Anybody waitin' for you back at that motel?” he asked abruptly, and she suddenly wondered if it had been a bad idea to leave her stun gun in her bag. “Or can I convince you to stay a little longer?”

“I, uh...” she began, but her words faltered.

“You don't have to,” he stated, loosening his embrace of her hand. “But, I sure wouldn't mind if you hung around a bit longer.” When she swallowed noticeably, her face visibly flushed, even in the dim light of the empty shop, Wyatt nodded with a hint of a smirk, dropping her hand completely. “Why don't you think on it, and I'll go get cleaned up.”

In his brief absence, Lex began to wander around the auto shop, eventually finding her way to what was clearly his office, leaving the door open behind her. Small, cheaply framed pictures of Hot Rods and other classic cars hung against ugly, yellow ochre walls. To her relief, there were no sleazy calendars of scantily clad women draped across muscle cars in sight. Ignoring the distance slaps of rubber-soled shoes against smooth concrete, she continued her casual inspection, glancing over pinned-up receipts and finally rounding the desk, finding brightly scrawled coloring pages full of cartoony cars, taped to the walls. Darla's name was written in crayon on both of them. “Don't tell 'er I still got those up. It'd just embarrass her,” Wyatt's voice sounded from the doorway as he observed his office invader.

“I won't,” Lex answered, a gentle smile on her face as she observed them, the mechanic stepping around the desk from the opposite direction and dropping down into his swiveling chair.

Reaching into a desk drawer and pulling out a canister of grease-cleaning wipes, Wyatt popped open the container and handed one to his guest, placing her car keys down on the glossy surface as she wiped away the stains he'd left on her hands. “Whatcha thinkin' about?”

“About how much of a hypocrite I am,” she mused, glancing over her shoulder before shifting to rest her weight against the edge of his desk. When Wyatt said nothing in return, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms across his chest instead, regarding her with curious eyes, she continued. “Preaching to your little sister to take care around dangerous men...and now, here I am, doing something impulsive and stupid,” she explained, shrugging her shoulders, placing her palms against the rounded edge of the desk.

Wyatt was silent for several seconds as he considered her, only serving to add to her hesitance. “I take it Darla's been tellin' stories about me,” he finally stated, and Lex simply raised her brows in response. “So...am I still makin' you nervous,” he guessed, his gaze, directly into her eyes, ceaseless.

“I don't think 'nervous' is the word I'd go with,” she mumbled, glancing away from his intense stare.

“Then why do you keep doin' that?” Wyatt asked suddenly, and Lex's brows knit together in mild confusion. “Lookin' away from me like that...Do you just not trust me, or-”

“I don't trust me,” her voice was barely above a whisper, and Wyatt tilted his head to the side, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward in his chair, a strange smile forming on his lips.

“That so?” he asked, and Lex pursed her lips, as if she were wary some other uncomfortable truth might slip out. Her hands gripped the edge of the desk tighter as Wyatt finally stood up from his chair, stepping so casually in front of her, and so her body sat sandwiched between his own and the heavy, sturdy piece of furniture below her. “Know what I think?” he asked, his body looming, and Lex shook her head as her eyes focused on his. “I think you're a little sweet on me,” he murmured, his large hands finding her smaller ones and uncurling her fingers to weave his own betwixt them.

“Against my better judgment,” she whispered, glancing down to where their hands joined.

“You know, I...just 'cause I ain't exactly on the straight an' narrow...doesn't mean I ain't a good man,” Wyatt did his best to assure, his hands maneuvering hers up to his shoulders, and letting go to grasp her waist when her fingers scrunched up the fabric of his button-up. “Ain't nothin' t' be nervous about, sweetheart,” he rasped as her digits clutched at his shirt, his large, calloused hands traveling down her sides and gripping her outer thighs when he reached them to lift her up onto the edge of his desk. The tiny metal bits of her jeans scraped against the smooth wood as he stepped even closer and situated his thighs between her open knees. “Alexandria,” he breathed as her fingers worked their way up his neck, to the chestnut hair at his nape, his own hands gliding over her bare arms, her shoulders, finding their way back up to her jaw, tilting her chin back with his thumb until she had no choice but to look into his eyes. “If you're gonna tell me no...you better do it, right now,” he warned as her fingers worked through his dark mane, Wyatt finally descending over her to capture her lips, the tiniest moan sounding in Lex's throat.

Wyatt's lips were just as soft as they looked, careful and gentle as they caressed her own, the accumulation of his short whiskers scraping lightly against her skin. His mouth worked so delicately against her own, as if any hint of over-ambitiousness might divide their bodies from one another, that it was Lex who finally took some initiative. Parting her lips against his, gripping a fistful of his hair as his hands began to descend down her body again, she took advantage of the opportunity when a sigh escaped him, prodding against his tongue with her own until his mouth practically latched over hers. A muffled groan rumbled in Wyatt's throat as he felt legs wrap around his waist, slender fingers at his shirt again, groping along his clavicle and shoulder, Lex's blunt-cut nails gripping the fabric as his own hands worked under the hem of her tee. When her body gave a light shudder at the contact of his rough fingertips against her bare skin, but showed no sign of displeasure, he eased higher, mouth still working against hers as his calloused digits met fabric-wrapped underwire, traveling higher still, cupping the soft mounds of flesh through the light padding of her bra. It wasn't enough.

Finally drawing away from her mouth, leaving lighter kisses against her cheek, her jaw, his hands slid around her to pluck at the clasp keeping her soft flesh from his hands, pausing when her whole body seemed to noticeably still. “Is this okay?” he breathed against her skin, his scruffy chin against her temple, open palms against her shoulder blades. Wyatt felt her breath on his throat, her hands meeting at the top button of his shirt. “Is that a yes?”

“I...I'm sorry. It's just been a long-”

“Don't apologize,” Wyatt quickly cut into her words, his hands descending to the small of her back, her unhooked bra still clinging to her chest. “You got nothin' to be sorry about.” His large hands still at her back, his thumbs gently caressing her sides, Wyatt's mouth found Lex's once more, following her lead as she descended against his desk, legs still at his waist. His fingertips eased her shirt up over her stomach, grazing a bit too lightly over her ribs, making her squirm for just a moment before his hands slid higher, pushing back multiple layers of clothing up to her collarbone, and grasping gingerly the soft mounds he'd uncovered.

“Wyatt?” he heard her whimper as his mouth followed in the wake of his hands, ghosting his lips over a taut peak as he palmed at the other side, his tongue dancing over her supple flesh as his free hand weaved between their bodies, toward the button of her jeans. It was enough to snap her out of his spell, and Wyatt found his face being lifted off her chest from her grip in his silky hair.

“Too much?” he mumbled as her fingers loosened, pushing his fallen hair out of his face.

“A little,” she managed, rising up on her elbows, her legs unlocking to fall away at his hips.

“I just wanted a little taste,” he whispered, abandoning her breasts in favor of her parted lips.

“I think you've tasted enough for one night,” she answered, but her smile was still present when he granted some distance between them. “What time is it?”

Glancing at his watch as Lex began to pull and clasp her clothes back into place, Wyatt proclaimed it nearly four in the morning, and surprise and an edge of panic took over Lex's features. “Oh, shit, I didn't...God, they're probably freaking out,” she mumbled as she scrambled off his desk, disappearing from his office before he could ask whom she was talking about. “Fuck!” he heard her exclaim as he stepped out of his office, following her voice across his shop, finding her holding her phone up to her ear as she waited for a voice on the other side of the call. “I know, I know, I didn't have my...yeah, I'm okay, I, uh...kinda lost track of time,” she spoke into the receiver, glancing at Wyatt as he stepped closer, his features tinged with concern and a dash of frustration. Frustration with himself for keeping her out so long, or pushing a little too far, or just the thought of not getting to see her again after tonight, he couldn't decide. Maybe a bit of all of the above. “Right, yeah, I'm about to head that way...yes, I'll text you when I get to my room...goodnight.”

“Your band?” Wyatt ventured, and Lex nodded as she ended the call.

“Yeah, I guess they've been blowing up my phone for an hour, now,” she confirmed, pushing her mobile into her back pocket. “You're not the only one that worries, I guess.”

“I guess,” he repeated, a weak half-smile across his lips. “I suppose I gotta let ya go, now.”

“Um...yeah,” she agreed, though she didn't look any happier about it than he did.

“I don't suppose I'm gonna see you again,” he spoke, not even trying to fake a smile anymore.

“I, um...I'd like to...I don't know when, exactly, but...I-” Lex's words ceased as Wyatt closed the distance between them, his hands finding her jaw as his lips met her own, his kiss as gentle as their first.

“We'll figure somethin' out,” he assured as he put the slightest distance between their mouths, his hands descending to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her in closer. “You ain't gettin' away from me that easy.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

tagging : @one-of-thewalkingdead , @gissellec1 , @rainingrabbits89-blog , @pinkflowerwombat , @sashimeep , @strangererotica , @the-butchers-baby , @callsign-fangirl , @hibiskooks , @jessy02 , @charliehoennam , @pinastrihaven , @amethystblackkchaos , @bleeding-heartz , @lucy-sky

If I forgot anyone, I apologize, and please let me know if you want to be tagged in the next one

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS AND TAGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED. 💙

[rbr4c1ng]

Hii! I was wondering if you could maybe explain the bus bros fallout or p2p gate or pretty much all of the McLaughlin-Newgarden lore to me since I'm only getting in to IndyCar now and I want to be caught up before the 500. I understand this is a big ask but I've seen that youve posted about it and I just NEED to know. Any links to other pieces of lore would also be much apreciated. Completely understand if you don't want to write anything though so thank you so much I advance!! <3

YES ABSOLUTELY I WILL EXPLAIN! this is my special interest dw i could write an 18 page essay about their lore.

SO basically scott came into indycar from supercars in 2020-2021 ish and him a josef started getting along like super well, which is honestly a bit odd bc josef is known to not really let people get so close to him, so scotty is a bit of an outlier in that respect.

eventually! they make bus bros!!! wooooo everyone loves it etc etc they have fun making it…. until they don’t! leading up to their breakup there were QUITE a few clues that they knew it was gonna end in flames like scott talked about it on off track (see audio excerpt below) and on hot seats with hinch if i remember correctly?

there’s also a fair share of articles that mention it. they basically knew it was inevitable but i don’t think anyone thought it was gonna happen so quickly??

so then the winter break leading into the 2024 szn happened! this is about when i started getting really into bus bros and was honestly pretty present for some of this shit (i was at the daytona 24 and st pete so i’ve got some first hand evidence but we will get to that later)… anyways so the rumors start going around that bus bros is over around?? st pete time i think??? a little bit earlier. which is odd given that they seemed okay with each other at the daytona 24, even though i thought it was strange that they weren’t both on tower motorsports anymore cause josef switched to penske porsche but GENERALLY it seemed okay (although based on this pic idk their relationship seems a little charged atp but it’s all speculation really)

then after the rumors come out i think it was jenna fryer’s article that did it in? (idk it has a paywall on it for me right now and i don’t care enough to find it here but there’s definitely excerpts floating around) now i do recommend to take anything jenna fryer says with a grain of salt bc she is essentially a gossip columnist for all intents and purposes. but the article basically said that josef and scotty were done and scott wouldn’t answer any questions about it and was only saying that they’re fine or to ask josef about it (tea from todays 100 days to indy episode actually…). they promptly took down the bus bros merch site and have been relatively quiet since then. at st pete they talked on the podium and didn’t seem too bad but i’ve seen other clips where they won’t even sit next to each other or speak to each other so take that as you will. podiums are pretty much just publicity, cameras everywhere, you’d probably want to seem at least cordial with your teammate.

(pic 1 is mine, pic 2 is a pic of my tv from todays episode LMFAO)

so heres where most of the speculative stuff comes in. Josef dissolved his media company, unfollowed everyone, and cancelled bus bros leading into the 2024 season because he wanted to “get rid of distractions”, and really we could leave it at that, but i find it hard to believe that that’s the only thing that happened.

Josef is the dictionary definition of Penske Perfect, you won’t get any closer to it than him. he’s fucking OBSESSED with this idea of being perfect. perfect season, perfect body, perfect car, perfect team. obviously this isn’t feasible, but scotty seemed to have broken through that block in his little Penske Perfect brain and got him to LIGHTEN UP A BIT. and then the 2023 season happened. sure, josef won the indy 500 but it was one of his worst season finishes in a while and, to make matters worse, scott BEAT him. little scotty mac, supercars champion transplant from 2021 beat josef newgarden at his own fucking game after breaking down his walls and making him soft. i can see how that scared josef honestly. so he ended it. Scott doesn’t see things on a plane of winning/losing imo, everything is just experience for him. hell, he didn’t even know if he would end up in indycar and he sure as hell didn’t think he’d win races so soon AND beat his teammate. to josef, it’s JUST winning/losing. if he’s losing, he needs to be better. and he lost sight of that for the 2023 season. that’s why he had to come back and put an end to the shenanigans bc he knows scott makes him soft.

but that’s just my speculation!!!!! literally could just be nothing. maybe it is to josef, but i know for a FACT it isn’t to scott.

OH and with the p2pgate stuff! basically they had a component in their car that. was not supposed to be there! that prevented race control from turning off their push to pass like normal. (marshall pruitt has a rlly good article explaining it all here) and they were caught in long beach when race control forgot to turn on the push to pass during the sunday warm up and HMMMMM why do the penske cars still have it???? when has this happened before??? oh ok st pete! now they’re disqualified. josef used 9 seconds of p2p when it was not enabled and scotty only used 1.9 and will used none. so i’m led to believe that it was a josef-centered choice IF it was intentional to use the p2p when it was supposed to be inactive.

now josef really laid down the water works for that press conference at barber to the point that i was having a VERY hard time watching it. i felt bad for the guy. he seemed really fucking upset and i almost believe that it WASNT on purpose but. it’s just too good to be true right?

honestly i think this all could tie back to the downfall of bus bros in that scott maybe didn’t want to do the p2p thing but josef was willing to? and maybe that caused some sort of divide between them bc then again for josef it’s about Winning No Matter What, and yes scott wants to win but cheating isn’t the way for him. idk.

for more of their lore when they WERE friends, watch bus bros (duh), admit one, 100 days to indy, scott learns america: nashville, hot seats with hinch, and listen to scott’s episode on off track with hinch and rossi! also there are some very brief interactions between them on some older penske games videos before bus bros was even a thing but it’s not much. there are more but i can’t think of them rn…

sorry for rambling, if you have any more qs feel free to ask!!! i’m always available for brain picking :)

[gardenschedule]

Paul trying and sometimes failing to be chill about Yoko

“I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership.”

1970, Paul to Ray Connolly in the Evening Standard

I’d been able to accept Yoko in the studio, sitting on a blanket in front of my amp. I’d worked hard to come to terms with that. But then when we broke up and everyone was now flailing around, John turned nasty. I don’t really understand why. Maybe because we grew up in Liverpool, where it was always good to get in the first punch of a fight.

The Lyrics: 1956 to the Present

"It just became impossible for me to work with Yoko sitting there watching us," says Paul. "I wanted to write simple things like 'I love you girl' and every time I knew she was listening I felt I had to come out with someone clever and avant garde! "I'm not blaming Yoko -- I'm blaming me. It was no more John's fault for falling in love with Yoko than it was mine for falling in love with Linda. It just meant that we didn't work together anymore. We tried but it didn't work."

Paul McCartney, in his first magazine interview since the split, tells FLIP's Keith Altham... "THE BEATLES ARE FINISHED!"

We didn’t accept Yoko totally, but like I say, how many groups do you know, these days [who would]? I mean, it’s a joke. It’s like Spinal Tap! I mean, it’s Spinal Tap! A joke!

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

And in John’s thing, you know, when as – you obviously know – he was going through a lot of pain when he said a lot of that stuff. And he felt that we were, um, being kind of vindictive towards him and Yoko. In actual fact I just answered a question on an American TV thing – I think we were quite good, looking back on it, and knowing people in life. Many people would’ve just downed tools with a situation like that and just have said: “Look man, she’s not sitting on our amps while we’re making a film.” I mean, that wouldn’t be unheard of. I mean, Sean Penn... do you know what I mean? Most people would just say, “We’re not having this person here. Don’t care how much you love her.”

But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, “Weren’t we really terrific?” But looking back on it, I think we were okay. We were never really that mean to them. But I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

I’ve already mentioned how in September 1969 we were in a meeting and talking about future plans, and John said, ‘Well, I’m not doing it. I’m leaving. Bye.’ In the ensuing moments, he was giggling and saying how this felt really thrilling, like telling someone you’re going to divorce them and then laughing. At the time, obviously, that was wildly hurtful. Talk about a knockout blow. You’re lying on the canvas, and he’s giggling and telling you how good it feels to have just knocked you out. It took a while, but I suppose I eventually got with the programme. This was my best mate from my youth, the collaborator with whom I’d done some of the best work of the twentieth century (he said, modestly). If he fell in love with this woman, what did that have to do with me? Not only did I have to let him do it, but I had to admire him for doing it. That was the position I eventually reached. There was nothing else I could do but be cool with it.

Paul McCartney, on “Get Back”. In The Lyrics (2021).

MANSFIELD: But, you know, [after John showed me the pictures of himself and Yoko nude for the album cover of Two Virgins], I asked Paul about this. And this, to me, is indicative of their relationship, maybe as much as anything I [had] ever heard. I said, “Paul, you know, what do you think about this?” And Paul says, “I don’t know.” He said, “I don’t really agree with John. But I just am going to figure that John’s ahead of me on this, and that someday I’ll understand and I’ll catch up. So, you know, I’m okay.” ROSEN: And what did that reaction tell you about their relationship? MANSFIELD: That it was an extremely deep relationship.

Ken Mansfield (record label executive and Apple Records U.S. manager), interview w/ James Rosen for Fox News. (December 4th-5th, 2007)

John and Yoko had to visit Sir Joseph Lockwood of EMI with the nude photos to ensure that he would allow their use and there wouldn’t be any censorship problems. Although he personally didn’t like the album or photographs, Paul accompanied the two of them to their meeting. Sir Joseph thought that the fans would be outraged and the Beatles’ reputation would be damaged, but Yoko told him: ‘It’s art.’ Lockwood said: ‘Well, I should find some better bodies to put on the cover than your two. They’re not very attractive. Paul McCartney would look better naked than you.”

The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia by Bill Harry. (also... rekt lmao)

So that – I think, in order to kind of say to Yoko, “Look, my life is now yours,” he had to say things like, “The Beatles were bastards, we were total jerks, we never wrote anything good…” Which I think was rubbish, basically. And as I say, you have to realize that some of that time he was on heroin – so he’s not going to be just talking absolutely lucidly all the time, there. Some of the times, he was having other sorts of problems…

1989, Paul

And I think we would all have continued the Beatles, but Yoko came along, John fell wildly in love with her, he needed a big, big change in his life and he got it! He came to live in New York, he kind of threw over all his English [pause] contacts and everything. And, you know, can’t blame him! If that’s what he wants to do in his life! So we had to kind of, fade into the background to allow them to have their relationship. What were we gonna do, ringin’ him up? ‘Hey John, you know, hey, come and see me! Leave Yoko!’ No, that obviously never gonna happen. [pause] See, you had to let him do what he wanted, and he- he did you know… And he enjoyed it.

Paul McCartney on John’s early 70′s attacks as a sign of his feelings towards him. Interviewed by Bob Costa, 1991.

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

Paul McCartney, interview with German tv program Exclusiv, April 1985.

PAUL: ‘Cause she’s very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes.

Twickenham, January 13th, 1969

PAUL: Yeah, see, that’s the thing. The only one time we’ve actually done it, she’s agreed. She really is alright. It’s like, it’s the thought of her being there when some of— [faltering] And then you don’t talk to John, so then he doesn’t talk to you, you know. And it’s like, you can screw it up just as much because she’s there, as – as John’s relying on her because she’s there. So that’s the thing. You know, but I mean, like, you’ll notice, if John – if you’re onto a beam with John about something, then he really isn’t, you know, he really won’t let Yoko talk about it. Because he knows when you’re on a beam, and he knows about it, and you’ll – you can talk straighter to him.

Twickenham, January 13th, 1969

‘All new wives don’t like their husband’s old friends or cronies,’ he replies. ‘I don’t think [Yoko] liked Paul. I think Paul was ready to like Yoko. Maybe she saw Paul as a threat. It was a partnership. The partnership should have been John and Yoko, not John and Paul. I am not saying it was a deliberate process, but it was a natural process. John had a new partner: she. Yoko Ono. It was going to be John and Yoko’s songs and not Paul and John’s songs.’

Don Short (newsman), c/o Sandra Shevey, The Other Side of Lennon.(1990)

As the meeting was drawing to a weary close, John, not this day with Yoko, who hadn’t seemed particularly connected with what was going on, said he wanted to play us a tape he and Yoko had made. He got up and put the cassette into the tape machine and stood beside it as we listened. The soft murmuring voices did not at first signal their purpose. It was a man and a woman but hard to hear, the microphone having been at a distance. I wondered if the lack of clarity was the point. Were we even meant to understand what was going on, was it a kind of artwork where we would not be able to put the voices into a context, and was context important? I felt perhaps this was something John and Yoko were examining. But then, after a few minutes, it became clear. John and Yoko were making love, with endearments, giggles, heavy breathing, both real and satirical, and the occasional more direct sounds of pleasure reaching for climax, all recorded by the faraway microphone. But there was something innocent about it too, as though they were engaged in a sweet serious game. John clicked the off button and turned again to look toward the table, his eyebrows quizzical above his round glasses, seemingly genuinely curious about what reaction his little tape would elicit. However often they’d shared small rooms in Hamburg, whatever they knew of each other’s love and sex lives, this tape seemed to have stopped the other three cold. Perhaps it touched a reserve of residual Northern reticence. After a palpable silence, Paul said, “Well, that’s an interesting one.” The others muttered something and the meeting was over. It occured to me as I was walking down the stairs that what we’d heard could have been an expression of 1960s freedom and openness but was it more likely that it was as if a gauntlet had been thrown down? “You need to understand that this is where she and I are now. I don’t want to hold your hand anymore.”

Michael Lindsay-Hogg (filmmaker), Luck and Circumstance: A Coming of Age in Hollywood, New York, and Points Beyond. (2011)

“Paul, in his usual way, tried to be the nice guy and was open-minded about John’s weird choice,” says Brown. “He invited them to stay at [his house in] Cavendish Avenue for a while.” The day after Cynthia’s return, they moved into the second-floor guest bedroom and made themselves at home. “But the problem was that Yoko wasn’t a very warm person—not even able to say thank you in response to anything Paul did for them. And he went miles out of his way to make them feel welcome, being a nice guy. So that didn’t last very long.”

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

Examples of failure to be chill:

PAUL: But it’s just funny to sort of realise that after this is all over, you’ll be off in a black bag somewhere – on the Albert Hall, you know. JOHN: Yes. PAUL: And sort of doing shows and stuff, and you know, digging— JOHN: Yeah, but I— PAUL: —digging that thing of it.

January 25th, 1969 (Apple Studios, London)

Yoko had evidently approached Paul McCartney about appearing in the film, as the Beatles' road manager Mal Evans penned in his diary: "PAUL HAS APPOINTMENT WITH JAPANESE LADY WHO WANTS TO PHOTOGRAPH HIS BOTTOM." Presumably Paul declined, and one must wonder if the same invitation might have been extended to John.

Chip Madinger, Lennonology Volume 1: Strange Days Indeed. (2015) (note: unforgivable rudeness on Paul's part to both Yoko and all of us who would have benefited from him featuring in "Bottoms")

“I was in India meditating about the album, when it suddenly hit me. I wrote Yoko telling her that I planned to have her in the nude on the cover. She was quite surprised, but nowhere near as much as George and Paul. “Paul gave me long lectures about it, and said ‘Is there really any need for this? ‘It took me five months to persuade them.

NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS, JUNE 7, 1969

He wasn’t happy. But the big things that were driving him mad were beyond me. He kept on working and writing, but when John came over, all he could talk about was how much he loved Yoko. That disturbed Paul. In spite of John’s obvious happiness, Paul stifled his jealousy with not-very-cute bursts of racist crap.

Francie Schwartz - Body Count

John & Yoko's perspective:

It’s the same. You can quote Paul, it’s probably in the papers, he said it many times at first he hated Yoko and then he got to like her. But, it’s too late for me. I’m for Yoko. Why should she take that kind of shit from those people? They were writing about her looking miserable in the Let It Be film, but you sit through 60 sessions with the most bigheaded, up-tight people on earth and see what its fuckin’ like and be insulted — just because you love someone — and George, shit, insulted her right to her face in the Apple office at the beginning, just being ‘straight-forward,’ you know that game of ‘I’m going to be up front,’ because this is what we’ve heard and Dylan and a few people said she’d got a lousy name in New York, and you give off bad vibes. That’s what George said to her! And we both sat through it. I didn’t hit him, I don’t know why.

I was always hoping that they would come around. I couldn’t believe it, and they all sat there with their wives, like a fucking jury and judged us and the only thing I did was write that piece (Rolling Stone, April 16th, 1970) about “some of our beast friends” in my usual way — because I was never honest enough, I always had to write in that gobbly-gook — and that’s what they did to us.

Ringo was all right, so was Maureen, but the other two really gave it to us. I’ll never forgive them, I don’t care what fuckin’ shit about Hare Krishna and God and Paul with his “Well, I’ve changed me mind.” I can’t forgive ’em for that, really. Although I can’t help still loving them either.

John Lennon: The Rolling Stone Interview, Part One

JOHN: But I understand how they felt, because if it had been Paul or George and Ringo that had fallen in love with somebody and gotten totally involved, suddenly… It wasn’t like, you know, somebody – George coming in and saying, “I’m going to work with Eric Clapton in a band now, and screw you.” It wasn’t that kind of thing at all. It was just suddenly this involvement.

December 6th, 1980: Andy Peebles talks to John and Yoko

“Lennon stated that “there’s some underlying thing about Yoko in [Get Back]”, saying that McCartney looked at Yoko Ono in the studio every time he sang “Get back to where you once belonged””

David Sheff, All We are Saying: The Last Major Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono

TRYNKA: ‘The Ballad of John And Yoko’, with Paul playing drums and bass, seemed like Paul’s tribute to you. Was that the case? YOKO: Yeah. I thought that was beautiful. Paul was trying to be diplomatic about the situation, try to make it well... He meant well. There were other instances where he’d do things that were meant well.

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Paul Trynka for MOJO. (May, 2003)

YOKO: Even now, I just read that Paul said, “I understand that he wants to be with her, but why does he have to be with her all the time?” JOHN: Yoko, do you still have to carry that cross? That was years ago. YOKO: No, no, no. He said it recently. I mean, what happened with John is that I sort of went to bed with this guy that I liked and suddenly the next morning I see these three guys standing there with resentful eyes. SHEFF: Do you think that kind of attitude from people was also jealousy? JOHN: It’s a kind of jealousy. People can’t stand people being in love. They absolutely can’t stand it. They want to pull you down in the hole they’re in.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

‘He wanted me to be part of the group,’ Yoko says. ‘He created the group, so he thought the others should accept that. I didn’t particularly want to be part of them… I couldn’t see how I would fit in, but John was certain I would. He kept saying, ‘They’re very sensitive … Paul is into Stockhausen… They can do your thing…’ He thought the other Beatles would go for it; he was trying to persuade me.’”

Philip Norman’s 2008 biography Lennon

After the initial embarrassment, that how Paul is being very nice to me, he’s nice and a very, str- on the level, straight, sense, like wherever there’s something like happening at the Apple, he explains to me, as if I should know. And also whenever there’s something like they need a light man, or something like that he asks me if I know of anybody, things like that. And like I can see that he’s just now suddenly changing his attitude, like his being, he’s treating me with respect, not because it’s me, but because I belong to John. I hope that’s what it is because that would be nice. And I feel like he’s my younger brother or something like that. I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul.

Revolution Chaos Tape – Yoko Ono, June 4, 1968

"The line [the walrus was Paul] was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. It's a very perverse way of saying to Paul: 'here, have this crumb, this illusion, this stroke - because I'm leaving.'" -John

Playboy, 1980

JOHN: And throwing in the line “the Walrus was Paul” just to confuse everybody a bit more. And because I felt slightly guilty because I’d got Yoko, and he’d got nothing, and I was gonna quit. [laughs; bleak] And so I thought ‘Walrus’ has now become [in] meaning, “I am the one.” It didn’t mean that in the song, originally. It just meant I’m the – it could have been I’m the – “I’m The Fox Terrier,” you know. I mean, it’s just a bit of poetry.

August, 1980: John talks to Playboy writer David Sheff about ‘Glass Onion’.

“Still, the real reason that people disliked Yoko was because she ordered them about and sent them on errands in a particularly rude way; she was brought up with servants, and that’s how she treated the staff of Apple. George found it particularly galling that she never gave the Beatles their definite article. He told me, ‘She would say, “Beatles do this” and “Beatles do that”, and we would say, “Uh, it’s the Beatles actually, love.” She’d look at you and say, “Beatles do this.”’ And he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Whether Yoko was ever aware of the disruption her presence caused to the Beatles’ working practices I don’t know. Some people thought she was so involved in her own work and self-interest that she didn’t notice; others thought that it was a deliberate ploy to separate John off from the others.”

Barry Miles, The Zapple Diaries. (2015)

[aphroditedahlias]

hiiii omg i was so excited when you posted another part of the bully eren series!! ive been keeping up with the series ever since 2021 and usually i hate bully fics but the way you write eren is just chefs kiss 🤌

i was even more excited when i saw requests are open!

**TW// i wanted to ask what would happen if eren either accidentally/purposely killed us? I thought of this based off the last line from the recent eren fic. would he be the type to commit suicide or try to move on with his life (id be surprised if this is the case based on the other asks sent in previously lol) reader can be any gender btw

tysm for your wonderful writing! i hope you’re doing well!

Bully eren x G/N reader

What if he purposely k!lled reader?

Tw/ light non con, murdaaa, kn!fe, blood, clearly yandere , angst.

thank you sm whoever you are for keeping up with my posts even though i’m sooo inconstant<33

not proofread 🌝 as always lololol

There’s something so seeet and hypnotic about death. Some people say they see God, or a light. As your eyes daze and your pulse slows, you can hear wren cooing in your ear.

“ it’s okay baby. I know it’s hard but it’s okay. You don’t have to be scared i’m right behind you.”

Blood flows from your wounds, pulsing and flowing freely. There’s not enough time. There’s no way for you to call for help. There’s no way for you to fight, so you just lay back in erens arms and let him soothe you.

You should’ve known. You should’ve tried and fought harder to get away. You thought if you just ignored him he would go away but it just got worse and worse.

You’d come home from school and nothing particularly interesting happened that day but apparently it was the last straw for eren.

You didn’t answer his texts, you took a different route to class to avoid going past him. You even shut and lock the door behind you knowing he was calling your name.

He waited until nightfall to break in through your kitchen window. Mostly prepared, he’d already had a bag filled with ziplocks, and a box cutter. He knew he had the box cutter in his bag but yet he still grabbed a steak knife from your counter, testing it on his own skin to see if it was sharp enough before heading to your room.

He watched you sleep for hours, deliberately taking his time watching your chest rise and fall with each breath. He wasn’t deciding whether or not to let you live. Thjs had gone on long enough and he was sure this was the end, he just wanted to savor the moment.

He dumped out his container of items and went over to your sleeping body, gently tying your wrists and ankles to the bed posts.

He took his time and caressed your soft, warm skin. He stripped you from your clothes and ran his hands up and down your body.

He used duck tape to put over your mouth after kissing your soft lips.

He stripped himself of his own clothing and lied with you, tucking his face into your neck. He waited and waited before continuing. He kissed down your body before reaching your sex.

He licked and spit on you, devouring you knowing it would be the last time.

He moaned against you and sucked harder, exploring your body like never before.

You started to wake up, writhing at the pleasure but quickly that pleasure turned into fear and confusion.

You tried to say his name which only spurred him to continue fucking you with his mouth. The sound of you begging and whining through the tape just got him harder. He began to grind against your mattress trying to receive his own pleasure. He kept licking and sucking, sloppily making a scene out of eating you.

He abruptly stopped and started to kiss his way back up your trembling body. He whispered words you couldn’t understand as he kissed your ear.

“ Don’t be scared “

He said it so quietly and softly that you almost believed him.

But the sudden sharp pain in your right wrist brought numb tears to your eyes. You tried to scream but the fucking tape wouldn’t allow you to. You felt him cut across your left wrist.

He undid your zip ties but your wounded body wouldn’t move, you felt hopeless and paralyzed as your eyes went back and forth between your arms.

He scooped you up and laid you against his chest and turned thought it was all a mistake. Eren wasn’t here to kill you. It was just a big misunderstanding and he would explain everything.

But that only happens in fairytails. Eren was no prince, he was no hero here to save you.

You felt him wrap his arms around you tightly before puncturing you once again, this time in the chest. He let the knife sit there a moment before slowly removing it.

“ I’m not sorry baby. I told you this would happen. If I have to live without you in my life, then you don’t get to live at all.”

you felt tears against your neck as he whispered to you.

He took your duck tape off and let you take shallow breaths. Too weak to scream, you only slumped back against him. Heart slowly coming to stop, you looked at him with tears in your eyes.

No last words from you were said.

Eren grabbed the bloody knife once again and kissed your unmoving lips one last time before slitting his own throat.

Even after death, he wouldn’t let you go.

©️aphroditedahlias2024

guys pls make sure you telling someone if you’re being abused or harassed so this doesn’t happen to you lololol. This is just a fic don’t ever let it get to this point.

[seonghwanotes]

new years eve | jeong yunho

pairing: yunho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 953

a/n: this was originally a collab but i completed the ending bc the writer i collabed with had closed her acc so yeah, this had me thinking for a lil bit. ALSO THE GIF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im getting bias wrecked big time, i cannot imagine being yunhonotes 😭 (21 Aug 2021)

a/n: as i write this, it is 28th sept 2023 😭 had this in my drafts for a while, did not proofread at all so will just post this up for now x

It was finally the most awaited week of the whole year, Christmas week. It was a family tradition for everyone to start preparing for Christmas when December came by but this year round, you were away from your family and you were spending it with Yunho and his friends. Considering that everyone was busy with their own schedules and you finally got a break till New Years, you began your preparation a little later than usual.

But as usual, Christmas went by in a blink of an eye. Right after you had taken down the Christmas tree all by yourself, you let out a loud sigh, feeling a little sad. It certainly felt a little different since it was something you’d do together with your family members but it didn’t feel as lonely since you were with your loving boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone off the couch and took a picture of the now dismantled tree, sending it to Yunho who was at practice with the boys. Not even a second passed, he had seen your message and immediately called you.

“Oh, hello?”

“Y/N, how can you take down the tree without me helping you out? It must have been hard, especially with the upper part of the tree.” He scolded you, making you chuckle.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I was gonna do it by today anyway and I was free after you left so I just got it done. You would be home later anyway. I used a chair in case you were wondering.” You replied back, earning a sigh from him. You didn’t need to be next to him to see his pout and know that he was upset for not helping you out.

You waited for a bit as you sat down, grabbing your gifts you got for Yunho along with the gift wrapper. You set your call on speaker mode and put your phone down. You could only hear some of the boys whispering to each other but it wasn’t too audible since the background music was blocking their voices out.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t wait till you came home but tomorrow’s New Years eve! You know I don’t like keeping the tree up for longer than 3 days. Anyway, I’m going to the supermarket soon to get some stuff for our dinner tomorrow.” You told him, still not getting a response back. “Should I get champagne too?”

You and Yunho spent a homely Christmas together as everyone was with their family except for the two of you. It was not much but work has definitely made your lives much more busier, causing you two to not get presents for each other in time that you were doing it pretty late. Not that it mattered to you at this age but you felt bad for not carrying out a simple task.

You started wrapping your presents, occasionally glancing at your phone to see if he was about to end the call since he wasn’t answering you back. There was some light bickering among the boys but you couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Jeong Yunho, If you wanted to help me out so badly, do me a favour and ask the boys what they would want for gifts or I’m wrapping vegetables for all 8 of you.”

Your threat seemed to slightly work as you heard Mingi chime at the other side of the call, “Ya, I don’t want vegetables this year. You better ask her for her size or I’m asking her myself!”

Size? Your size for what? You were about to voice out but Yunho cut you to it. “Well, that sounds fine. Go ahead, baby.”

“So you want me to get vegetables for them?” You questioned, earning a yell from Jongho.

“Y/N! Don’t listen to hyung! Get us what you feel like getting us except vegetables… what? Oh, no mint chocolate for Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung. We love you!” He yelled, making you laugh. These boys were enough to make you feel like you were at home.

“Not sure why I’m on speaker mode but okay.” You answered back, hearing someone getting a hard smack. You were about to end the call but stopped when Yunho called out. “Baby, wait! One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Your hand is almost the same as San’s right?” The question almost came out as a whisper, Yunho knowing you would get agitated at that question since your hands were the size of a child compared to his delicate giant ones.

“You know the answer already. Why are you even asking this? Are you getting me a bracelet from Pandora or what?” You asked him, sealing the gift wrapper with a ribbon on top for Yunho’s gift, which was a Rolex watch and matching rings that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.

A silence was heard initially, then a voice followed along. “Yeah, would rose gold do?”

Your cheeks flushed, “Ah, um, yeah. See you later then. Tell the boys to be early tomorrow. Oh, I’ll get 3 bottles of champagne then, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. Yes, 3 is fine. I love you.” Yunho replied, sending a kiss through the call.

“Love you too.” You responded and ended the call.

One gift wrapped and there was more to go. You sighed, pushing them away for awhile and opened your laptop to surf the internet, making a list on what to buy for the boys, wanting it to be meaningful as well. Even if Christmas wasn’t as joyful as you wanted it to be, New Years was going to be the most memorable holiday you had in a while and you couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

[accio-victuuri]

From this article about One & Only “The "easter eggs" that are not on the screen of "One and Only" are here”

Recently, Entertainment Studio talked to "One and Only" director Dapeng and starring Huang Bo, and shared the stories behind the scenes of 10 movies with everyone here.

"Passionate" is an adjective that is aptly used to describe the newly released movie "One and Only".

This movie focusing on street dance is dazzling, and the last 20 minutes of the national competition are especially hearty, making people's palms sweat;

Outside the shoot, every member of the "One and Only" crew is doing their best for the cause they love, and the soul of the group is burning. Dapeng took the main creator to run desperately across the country, dancing in amusement parks, singing at barbecue stalls, checking tickets in movie theaters, handing out posters in frog suits under the scorching sun, riding bicycles for publicity, taking trains for publicity, and promoting at scenic spots... Wang Yibo fell ill and returned to the team after only two days of rest to continue the roadshow. Like Chen Shuo in the film, everyone is desperate to give, just to get closer to their dreams, and their warm emotions are constantly transmitted to more audiences.

"One and Only" is a film project born under the trend of the times to break prejudice.

"After the release of "Sewing Machine Band", the business of many local piano shops began to improve, because there were many children who went to learn musical instruments. This "One and Only" also carries the blessing of the entire Chinese street dance circle, from the preparation stage to the end of the shooting, the street dance circle is looking forward to and blessing this movie, I believe that this movie will definitely usher in a peak of rapid development of Chinese street dance after its release. They may be children and parents, or they may be people who have been prejudiced against street dance, but they will all fall in love with street dance and the people in the story. Dapeng said.

The best candidate for Bboy

In order to understand the real street dance culture, Dapeng did a lot of homework.

He watched street dance movies all over the world, and interviewed a large number of street dancers of different ages in various cities across the country, from three to forty and fifty years old. In April 2021, during the preparation of "One and Only" and before the start of "Keep You Safe", Dapeng asked all the Bboys he knew the same question-

"If I'm looking for someone to play Bboy, he has to be a well-known actor, he has to be able to act and dance at the same time, and his temperament can be recognized by the Bboy community, who should I go to?"

Dapeng got a unified answer, Wang Yibo.

At that time, Dapeng did not know Wang Yibo, he did not even have a script, and he met Yibo nervously through the brokerage company. In order to prevent his expression from being in place, Dapeng also wrote a letter in advance and handed it to Yibo.

Later, Dapeng received a reply from Wang Yibo and wrote a lot of words. Wang Yibo said that he is very happy to be invited to play this role, street dance and movies are his passion, so doing this thing is a superposition of love. He agreed to star in "One and Only".

With a specific object, the film began to enter a stage of rapid progress. Screenwriter Su Biao printed a photo of Wang Yibo and pasted it above the table, looked at his photo every day, and began to write the script.

The script grows from the double BO

The earliest "One and Only" stories tried different directions. At the beginning, the main line is the relationship between mother and son, about how a mother raises her children, and the "exclamation point" is actually derived from a plot in the early version of the script. When Chen Shuo was young, his mother took him to choose his favorite extracurricular class, and if he didn't learn well, he would put a cross or question mark, and only the street dance chosen by Xiao Chen Shuo himself was given an exclamation point. The exclamation point became a small code word between mother and son, and Chen Shuo finally used it on the stage of the national competition.

In the process of the development of the script, they want to write how Chen Shuo is getting stronger and stronger, then he must have a good coach. The coach's line is getting fuller and fuller, and slowly becomes the protagonist.

At the same time, Dapeng they are going to start looking for actors. An OG who can dance, his acting skills are also brilliant, and the only thing Dapeng can think of is Huang Bo. He had shown every script to Huang Bo before, but he didn't find a suitable opportunity for cooperation, but he didn't expect that Huang Bo agreed very happily this time.

"Brother Bo told me that he could finish his last job within a time frame and have a whole block of time to shoot "One and Only", which scared me. Because it is not even a complete script, only the outline of the story. He seemed to have been waiting for the role, and the invitation process went smoothly beyond my own imagination. Dapeng said.

"So we have the double BO combination. We project our impression of them into the script, maybe you can see that there is a part of Huang Bo's shadow on the characters, and there is a growth trajectory of Yibo, that is because these two characters can be said to be tailored for Huang Bo and Yibo, and the story is grown from them.

This time is different from my previous creative path, I used to write one draft, two drafts and three drafts of the script, and even the punctuation marks I felt very satisfied with before I went to find an actor, but in the end it didn't work, and I acted by myself. "One and Only" was unexpectedly smooth, and it was the most efficient film I created. ”

Chen Shuo and his mother

In the final film, the line between Chen Shuo and his mother was compressed, but it was still the biggest crying point.

"The two of them are still a bit alike, did you feel it?" Dapeng laughed.

Liu Mintao and Wang Yibo each did their homework for the role, and the first rivalry scene they wanted to shoot was the scene where Chen Shuo rushed to the wedding scene to find that it was his mother singing on stage, and he couldn't help but burst into tears.

The crew spent a while to set up the studio scene for the filming of this scene, and ran in a group of extras. As soon as the shout began, Liu Mintao and Wang Yibo quickly entered the situation, and both of them shed tears from their hearts.

Dapeng in front of the monitor was a little confused - a scene that took so much effort to prepare, the result was so easy? He said it would be okay or ... Do it again? But in fact, the first take is used in the end. The two actors have done a lot of homework before this, and their understanding of the characters has been very thorough, realizing the "one take" of this heavy emotional scene.

Uncle's wax figure

Living with them in the film is Chen Shuo's uncle, played by the bald Yue Yunpeng, a character with few scenes but dense laughter.

Because her mother's surname is Du, the team came up with a somewhat nonsensical shop name called "Madame Tussauds Restaurant". There are a lot of wax figures in the store, and authorization is required to shoot wax figures, so the crew first considered Dapeng's friends, Jia Ling, Zhang Xiaofei, Yang Di, Li Xueqin, etc., and also thought of world-class celebrity images such as Monkey King, Einstein, Bruce Lee, and Tyson.

Yang Di not only has wax figures, but he himself also came to play a moving wax figure in a nightmare, which is scary and funny. Li Xueqin could have had a wax figure in the shape of a female ghost in "Keep You Safe", but because it was not sure which of "One and Only" or "Keep You Safe" would be on first, the audience might not get this meme, so they could only remove it first.

"With wax figures and a little bit of my own thinking in it. What kind of people are those who have wax figures, they are all successful people. But my uncle has been sculpting a wax figure of himself, and the closer to the end of the movie, the wax figure becomes more and more complete. If you have a belief in your heart, no matter how ordinary and ordinary people are, you can shape your appearance like your uncle. Dapeng said.

Huang Bo backflipped, Wang Yibo hit closed, and the crew rolled up

For movies dedicated to street dance, the dance part must be burning and fried enough, and it must be able to bring a strong visual and psychological impact to the audience.

Dapeng spent a long time researching how to make street dance look better, he organized a group of dancers to the studio to test shoot, try various equipment and mirror movement, and also hired a new editing director, Zhang Yibo, who had cut "Young You", to cut the dance part, because Zhang Yibo himself is also a dancer.

Most of the members of the exclamation point are real-life top dancers, each specializing in different dances. Between "let professional actors learn to dance" and "ask professional dancers to perform", he chose the latter in order to save the dance. But I didn't expect that the dancers' performances in the final film were also very good, because most of the time Dapeng let them "play themselves", eating the hot pot scene, everyone talked about why they wanted to dance, which is the true voice of the dancers themselves.

And the two leading actors, Huang Bo and Wang Yibo, both showed the highest professionalism and did their best to exceed the required dance moves. In the original script, there was no Ding Lei on the scene, but Huang Bo felt that since he came, it was difficult to jump again. Wang Yibo also strives to jump to perfection every time, and finally jumps with closure.

"Yibo and Brother Bo are very serious, so serious that I don't think it's necessary, for example, Brother Bo has a flip, in fact, you can do it with a stand-in, and you can't see it, but he must do it himself. Spirits can infect each other, there is a competitive atmosphere in the crew, you want to do a backflip by yourself, what should others do?

For the last street dance competition, we filmed at the Hangzhou Olympic Sports Center for 10 days, and the shooting intensity was very large. The movie is cut shot by shot, but the actors can't jump only part of it, the movements are coherent, so jumping over and over again is a test of everyone's physical endurance.

On the penultimate days of filming, they told me that Chen Shuo (Wang Yibo) had an uncomfortable ankle, but he didn't tell me that I only learned about it after several people. Although there was a team doctor on the scene every day, I told Yibo at that time that the movie is edited, and it doesn't matter if a certain time you dance is not so perfect, as long as a few moments are good, and then we can make up for it through other angles.

But he just has to be good from beginning to end, he is too demanding of himself. On the last day, he should have filmed the scene in a closed position.

In order to live up to his efforts, in the end, in the choice of editing, you can go to watch, I try my best to ensure that his performance is a complete camera, not cut. ”

An avid group performer

Dapeng used to watch many group performances in film and television dramas, such as a group of reporters mechanically pressing the camera shutter, and a group of wooden audiences under the concert stage, they would feel very dramatic. The main creator may pay more attention to the protagonist, and the supporting role is just a human flesh background board. This time filming "One and Only", Dapeng felt that the atmosphere creation of the competition scene was the top priority, and it was the key point for the audience to have a sense of presence and thus believe in the story.

No matter how big the scene, Dapeng requires every group audience in the audience to react with passion and commitment.

"Every day I try everything to liven up the atmosphere on the spot," Dapeng said, "The whole voice is dumb, if I can't do it, I will want my sister to go up, and if she can't do it, I will go up to others, and take turns to drive the atmosphere."

One day at 11 p.m., everyone started to get sleepy, and I felt as if the atmosphere was going to fall, so I rushed into the crowd myself. I said, look how I play an avid hip-hop audience. When you go to drive the atmosphere, everyone will be infected by you, and the atmosphere of the game can be more enthusiastic. ”

Dapeng, who did not star in his own movie for the first time, played a fanatical live audience, and he also set his "black photo" as a Weibo avatar

Prepare the last scene as if it were a movie

The last 20 minutes of the hip-hop competition were constantly reversed, and the climax was stacked, and wave after wave raised the atmosphere. How was this scene designed?

"We prepared the last scene as a movie. Although it is an action scene, it also takes on a lot of narrative functions, so that the game is always in suspense, there are constant reversals and accidents, and each round has ups and downs. Before filming this competition, our crew stopped work for a few days, and there were meetings every day, and various departments coordinated how to shoot this game.

Fortunately, we have the best dancers in China, the best dance consultants, the members of the coaching staff of the national team, and they give a lot of ideas. For example, someone was injured on the spot, how to persist with the injury, and impress the judges with spirit, such as the music suddenly stopped, the team's creativity..."

In the end, the exclamation point won satisfactory results with the comprehensive strength of the dance company, Chen Shuo's personal efforts, on-the-spot adaptability, team soul and creativity, etc., and I believe that it will definitely bring unexpected surprises to the audience.

Making a movie is very simple, it is a group of people who go all out for one thing

Chen Shuo in the play and Dapeng outside the play are both inspirational examples of struggle.

Recently, Dapeng turned out an old photo, which was a photo of his back with Wang Yibo at an event in Sina when he first stepped into the film industry nine years ago. At that time, he must not have imagined that one day they would collaborate on a movie.

In the ten days we filmed the National Street Dance Competition, every day burned to the fullest. About one day at the end of work, I found a room, and when there was no one, I cried there myself. It's not sad, it's reluctant to finish filming this scene. Even if this group of people gathers at another event in the future, it is not the feeling at this moment, and I miss the time I spent together. ”

"I thought later, maybe that's why I prefer to make movies. Life is hard, but making a movie is much simpler because it's simple, and everyone is desperately trying to give it their all for one thing.

Have you noticed that Yibo has become more smiling in this crew? Because that's what a twenty-four-five-year-old young man should look like, but he is Wang Yibo, and I know the pressure he faces, so in the crew, I try to make him find more security and trust. I believe that he was also very engaged and happy not to talk about the outcome of the final movie, but only about the summer they experienced together. ”

"This time I am also immersed in the directing work, I hope that this film can have a breakthrough in my career, because it is different, with such a powerful Bo Ge, Yibo, and such a group of the best Chinese dancers, everyone likes actors, I think it will become my best work so far." Dapeng said.

As the exclamation point recruitment slogan writes, "Keep working hard and you'll succeed!" This sentence is also true for each of the creators of Dapeng and "One and Only".

( Note : I removed some parts and paragraphs that focus more on DP and his past works. what is left here is about the movie, wyb and chen shuo. )

[doin-just-fine]

What the brain doin?? PT. 1 of a questioning median system's journey

"Why do I think I'm plural?"

Hello!

I am making this post for those who think they are a Median System. I've noticed our community is small and that there aren't many recourses out there to compare experiences to. The few that do exist have been very helpful so I thought I'd add to the pool to compare and contrast with.  In this post I will discuss how I reached the point of believing I am a Median System, why, as of right now, that label fits the best for me, and what my system is like on the inside. 

(THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF ORGIN, LABLE, KNOWLEDGE, OR IDENTITY)

How did I get here?

I started learning about what plurality was in 2018 for a college psych course. At that point in time I just found it interesting; fascinated at how the brain reacted to trauma and why it would split off as a way to cope. A tiny part of me thought "am I....?? NAaaah!! I would know!! It would click and everything would all make sense and I would just know!!! Plus I don't have enough trauma." I developed a hyper-fixation on it for a bit but it fizzled out and I didn't reflect on it again for a while. 

In 2021 I took a course that looked at the abstract ideas and philosophies behind what consciousness really is. I decided that for my final research paper in that course I would write about DID and other forms of plurality and what implications their very existence meant for how we define consciousness. After that, the hyper-fixation was reignited. I started to reflect on myself again but came to the same conclusions. Until, I met my now partner, who is a system, in 2022. They taught me a lot about plurality. 

It's a bit fuzzy when I started questioning myself again or why. EDIT: I remembered! I ran out of ADHD medication and had to go without it for a couple weeks. For context, I haven't taken a break from my meds since I started them at age 8 and at the time of running out I was on the highest dose of really strong stuff. After this break I started to notice how much my meds suppressed my emotions and creativity, eventually I got more medication. I then started asking my partner more questions about how they figured it out they were a system, how they knew, what did they do, how did they navigate embracing it, etc. I was a bit obsessive about these questions and it wasn't hyper-fixation level obsessive, this was "I need these answers to survive" level obsessive. I started noticing anxiety around these questions that I had never felt before. Ya know, totally normal singlet stuff. 

I started a notes app note titled "Psychological analysis of myself" after I had a panic attack that felt like someone else was having it through my body. Like genuinely, it snuck up on me (unusual for my anxiety I usually can see it coming a mile a way) and then it felt like my body had the panic attack without me, I was just there along for the ride. It freaked me out, which is why I started the notes app. I started diving into more research on OSSD and more nuanced experiences of plurality that never came up in basic psychology research. 

Then the denial started. Heavy, aggressive, degrading, denial. I pride myself on have decent esteem and self love but this denial laughed in my face. I only felt this once before when I was failing a math class in 2019. It was the first class I had ever been so close to failing I tore myself apart about it. It was so unlike me to be so mean to myself. When having this denial dialogue in my head about how (aggressive language warning) I was attention seeking faker who was just lonely and wanted to feel special, it was always stated in “You are…” statements. For example: “You’re just faking.” “You’re stupid.” “I can’t believe you think this.” When I would have these conversations with myself I would feel myself getting tired. Not tired in a way where I needed a nap but more like a drifting tired. I know this may be connected to dissociation, or switching (unclear).

So in my notes app I would write the thoughts out as they came. I realized I was having a chat with myself. A great app for honestly singlets and plurals to download is ANTAR. It’s an app that lets you chat with you "emotions" to sort out emotional hang ups but if you label the emotions as your alters instead you can chat with your system! These conversations are why I didn’t fully fall back into denial stage.

For a moment I did. I concluded that I was just being silly and dramatic and blowing things out of proportion. But having those conversations on my phone that I could go back to and look at didn’t let me stay there for long. 

I went back and forth on the denial thing for a minute only because I couldn’t find label that fit how I felt about my potential system until I happened across Median System. There was the click. Everything fell into place. I sat and read the definition and just thought “That’s me”.

Why “Median System”

A Median System is describe as 

A median system (also called midcontinuum) is a system where members are not as distinct or separate from each other. It can be considered being somewhere between multiple and singlet.[1] Some are dependent on a single individual, or the dependence can be mutual in that there is no central individual. Some median systems feel more blurred between themselves[2]. Others may also be based around a shared identity or kin. The members of a median system are often described as aspects or facets. Some median systems may identify as different archetypes[1]. Despite being more fluid and similar, median systems can be very diverse. Median systems are often opposed to multiple systems, with multiple systems experiencing more distinction between headmates. Some may also oppose it to partitionary systems, but in fact, median systems can be either partitionary or blurian, as variance in identity and presence or absence of memory sharing do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.

For me, part of the reason that I was in such denial of possibly being plural was because I have little to no amnesia in my day to day but unlike OSDD-1b (which also lacks amnesia) I don’t have distinct others. It felt like me all the time but sometimes adjacent. Someone described the difference as feeling like a snake with multiple heads rather that multiple snakes in a cage. And a Median system it feels like being an individual with multiple consciouses instead of multiple individuals in one body. 

Other ways that I experience my existence are as follows: 

I sometimes use plural first pronouns when referring to myself because before this realization I would be talking about myself and my brain as separate from me.

I used to joke that I felt like a system that just never fractured. 

The way people describe masking but for me it feel like a more extreme level, where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. What I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask. 

Another thing I experience is sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face. 

This one might be a stretch but I have seen other Median Systems mention it. I notice that proper singlets have 1 go to aesthetic. It may change over the years but that typically have 1. I have never been able to consistently identify with 1 aesthetic I typically cycle through several. Specifically for me it's punk, grunge, hippy, cottage academia, and dark academia. With a funky gender identity on top of all that.

I wrote this post on and off over the course of a few hours and I lost my train of thought. Please let me know if you have questions, clarifications, comments, or your own stories. My asks are open. I will probably speak more on this at a later date.

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

Helpline for male domestic abuse victims struggles to cope amid pandemic surge

This was back in 2021 but I wanted to share it anyway

A helpline for male victims of domestic violence is struggling to cope with the volume of calls because of a 35 per cent spike in the numbers seeking help during the pandemic.

Men’s Aid Ireland says it dealt with about 5,500 contacts during 2020, a figure it projects will grow again to 9,000 this year based on a further surge in January and February.

Kathrina Bentley, the organisation's chief executive, said calls are also getting "more worrying and concerning" and their "seriously stretched" three part-time helpline staff are struggling to cope with demand.

“During the last week of January and first week of February, within 10 days we had five very serious suicide situations at the end of the phone,” she said.

“ We had to get Garda assistance for two of them, ring ahead to a hospital for a third and we talked the other two men down.”

The common thread in calls is an abusive relationship, in 95 per cent of cases involving a wife or female partner.

“Hitting me, kicking me, spitting on me, telling me I’m a useless father, telling me I’m crap, telling me I don’t bring in enough income,” she recounted the calls.

“One man said he sleeps in the spare room and his wife soaks his mattress during the day with cold water and leaves the windows open before he comes home from work. So he sleeps on the floor.

“There are pure emotional and psychological games, men who have no access to funds, their partners controlling their finances.”

Funding

Ms Bentley said the organisation sought and was refused funding for a 24/7 helpline from the State’s child and family agency Tusla, which she criticises for allocating 1 per cent of its domestic, sexual and gender based violence (DSGBV) funding to the service.

Along with the Men’s Development Network, it is one of just two Tusla-funded services dedicated to male victims.

Men’s Aid Ireland has €244,000 funding for its six staff operation this year, an increase of €5,000 on last year.

In January, about 600 men contacted the service, and at least 80 calls were missed because the helpline – which runs from 9am to 5pm on weekdays – can only deal with two callers at any one time.

“It is really worrying,” said Ms Bentley. “Every phone call, we can save or change a life, that is the frontline day to day reality of it. Our small organisation took on the war that is the pandemic of Covid, and the war that is the pandemic of violence, but we are in the trenches with no ammunition.”

Ms Bentley said callers include accountants, gardaí, politicians, doctors, gardeners, postmen, the military, tradesmen and the unemployed.

Some are on the minimum wage while others “live in multi-million euro houses and behind the front door is domestic violence”.

Many are victims of coercive control – “a silent, invisible pattern of abusive behaviour over time” – which she says is “catastrophic for families, children as well as men’s lives and their careers”.

Ages range from 19 to 83 years old, but particularly between 40 to 55.

“It is incredible for a man to have the courage to pick up the phone in the first place,” she said.

“How disappointing and heartbreaking it is when no-one answers that phone.”

‘Bad patch’

Citing a report by Cosc – The National Office for the Prevention of Domestic, Sexual and Gender-based Violence – that shows one in seven men experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, and 95 per cent do not contact gardai, Ms Bentley suggested the numbers not seeking help could be as high as “a couple of hundred thousand”.

Ms Bentley said callers often don’t see themselves as victims of domestic abuse and hope it is a “bad patch” that will pass because they don’t want the family to break up. “When you ask them how long it has been going on for, and they say three to six years, well that’s not a bad patch in a relationship, that is an abusive relationship.”

In response to calls in a parliamentary question for a 24/7 national helpline, Minister for Children Roderic O’Gorman said the Government was currently carrying out an audit of DSGBV services.

There was no comment from Tusla.

[millerflintstone]

Back in August of 2019 when my sister passed away, one of my cousins in Guatemala took my mom in. My mom was 79 and had not been taking care of herself. My sister had not been taking care of herself or my mom either. This cousin lived two doors down from my mom and sister. Unfriendly and I stayed with them when we visited in 2020 before the pandemic hit. This cousin lived with her mom and uncle (my first cousins - my mom's oldest sister's kids), and her two boys. They were 17 and 10 at the time.

This cousin is a couple of years younger than me. I am eternally grateful that she and her family were able to take care of my mom. At that time, I had been scheduled for a hysterectomy where we weren't 100% sure if the findings were just going to be just endometriosis or endo with cancer because I had been bleeding a lot. In the time it took me to heal, a global pandemic started. When I was finally able to get to Guatemala, my mom's medical team advised against her traveling at the time because of her COPD and other health concerns. Then, the pandemic caused lockdowns so even if she had been okay to travel, she didn't get the chance to do so. My mom passed in 2021.

All of this backstory is to share that part of me did feel super responsible for helping my cousin when I could. I mean, how do you repay that kind of generosity, right? The big thing she helped with was getting the house my dad bought my grandparents transferred to my mom's name. It was in my sister's name. HorribleAunt initially wanted to be able to "help" me in getting things fixed because she wanted her grubby hands on it. I completely shut her out. The house got transferred into my cousin's name and my mom's name. Now that she's passed, it's my cousin's now as far as I'm concerned and I'm glad the legal steps went through. I wanted that house to stay in the family for family that needed it. It's not in the best shape but she has improved it.

I was able to continue to help out them out financially after my mom passed until I quit my job last year. I had to let my cousin know I couldn't continue and explained my burnout and depression that just cumulated after the past 5 years. We eventually also had to let them know we couldn't share our Netflix account anymore because of the password thing they did and also because we were cutting costs.

A couple of weekends ago, she messaged me for money because her youngest was at the clinic due to severe constipation. I had to break down some of our current debt to her because while we are better off than she is, it honestly wouldn't take a whole lot of bad things happening for us to be in danger. We're not in immediate danger, but we're also not the answer. I was able to help a little but I didn't divulge the minor jobs I currently have or the job offer I recently took.

Then last weekend, she asked me if in the future she thought I'd be able to help her come to the States. I was honest and told her I absolutely could not promise that right now and had to redefine our financial concerns just for ourselves. She has no concept of the expense of life in America. She suggested her selling the house and looking for something smaller but I told her not to look into that. I had gone looking for the possibility of a different house for my mom and sister years ago and was surprised to find that at the time, the prices were not much different than in GA and that it would just be another expense.

I was talking to Unfriendly about it and he also agreed for them to not sell the house to help us.

This cousin was diagnosed with BPD so I'm not sure if she was off meds and having an episode or what. She seems to want to escape her life (don't we all?) but I am not the answer to that. I finally feel free of the obligation I felt towards my mother and sister. I'm not continuing that on. I don't want to feel that ever again.

[rhysandshiftingthespectrum]

Introductory Post

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Hello, shifter. I’m Rhysand (pronounced Reese-Sund), also known as Rhys (pronounced Reese). I’m a Neurodivergent, Queer, and Nonhuman Reality Shifter. Come along on my journey with me, let’s see how many bonds we can make along the way. :]

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Neurodivergency)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m undiagnosed AuDHD (Autism + ADHD), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and Pure O OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) (trying to get these diagnosed ASAP), medically recognized SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder)(also trying to get this diagnosed ASAP), and diagnosed MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Probably have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and/or PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation), and hoping to get that diagnosed ASAP as well.

I also have undiagnosed ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), and a majority of other “smaller” related things to my main neurodivergencies and mental illnesses (mainly things related to my AuDHD and OCD).

I don’t yet feel confident to label myself as disabled (because I don’t want to intrude on the disabled community or mislabel myself as such), but I probably am, due to my severe executive dysfunction, and several other things.

I’m in therapy, and I adore my therapist, even though they call me out constantly. (Keeping their name, pronouns, and terms secret for privacy reasons.)

Tone tags are appreciated when talking to me, since I am tired of guessing what people actually mean. If you aren’t sure what some are, how to use them, or what they mean, just ask me and I’ll give you some answers. Or look it up yourself! :]

My Special Interests Are: Wings Of Fire, Harry Potter, Neurodivergency and Disabilities as a whole, and Dragons in general.

My Current Hyperfixation(s): Nothing, and I’m in need of fucking dopamine.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Reality Shifting)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’ve been aware of the shifting community since around 2020 or 2021. I discovered it from Tiktok, and did my own research into it immediately. Unfortunately, there wasn’t that many good resources, so my understanding of it was very simple, and my mindset was very poor. I tried shifting for a while at first, but then took a huge break from it, only trying every now and then, until early 2024. Now, with the help of shiftblr, I’ve been able to grow my knowledge of it and get motivation and mindset changes. I’ve also shifted to a parallel reality since joining shiftblr. I now attempt to shift actively (every night), and usually get a fair amount of symptoms. I am debating on permashifting to my Better CR DR right now.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Queer Identity)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a Genderfluid Genderflux Non-Binary TransGuy. I experience a lot of genders within that label, so I can’t say them all here. Been feeling agender with a dash of masculine for quite a bit now, though.

I use any pronouns except for She/Her. My main pronouns are He/They/It/Xe/Ze/Ne, and I also very much love nounself and emojiself pronouns. I like 🌙/🌙’s/🌙self a lot, and any other emojiself ones.

I’m comfy with Masculine, Neutral, Thing, Creature/Critter, Fey, Hylian, and Dragon terms.

I’m AroAce, Aromantic and Myrsexual (Neuroasexual, Nebulasexual, Requiesexual, Rosesexual, Dreadsexual, Placiosexual, and Merosexual), and I’m Homoalterous, Omniqueerplatonic, Panexteramo, Pansensual, and Panaesthetic.

I’m Ambiamorous with no preference.

I’m also a Lesboy and T4T.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Nonhumanity)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a Polytherian, Otherkin, Otherlink, Otherfix, Otherhearted, and Fictionflicker nonhuman.

My Theriotypes are: Wolf (Vancouver Coastal Sea Wolf), Fox (Red Fox), Lynx (Canada Lynx), Snow Leopard, Norwegian Forest Cat, and Nurse Shark..

My Kintypes are: Fiction (Dark Fey, Forest Type, from the Maleficent movies), Dragon (SilkWing/SeaWing hybrid), Dragon (Night-Light Fury Hybrid), and Raccoon.

My Linktypes are: Owl (Snowy or Barn) and Sable.

My Fictionflicker types have been: An OC Species of mine (Orphinki) and Hylian.

My hearttypes are: Whale Shark.

I’ve been awakened since around April of 2024. My Dark Fey kintype is probably because of a past life, although I don’t really have any solid memories of it, more just a great sense of things that were from that life. The rest of my nonhumanity is likely due to my neurodivergency. I don’t experience many shifts, but when I have, they have been partial shifts. I experience a lot of species dysphoria and species envy, though.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

About Me (Other)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

I’m a minor (16).

I’m taken by my lovely boyfriend ( @thesunnishboy ) and I am not looking for any more partners. (He’s also a reality shifter!)

I’m Agnostic, a bit spiritual, and am very respectful of others’ religions.

I’m celiac, and have a dairy intolerance, so fun for me (sarcasm).

I stand very much with Palestine.

I swear loads, so beware of that.

I have one older sibling (She/Her), who is also queer and a master shifter. She can shift literally whenever she wants to. She has the mindset all shifters dream of.

I love asks, so never ever feel afraid to send one!

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Frequent Anons:

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

First Anon - 🧈

Second Anon - 🥀

Third Anon - 🐝

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Links

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

DR Masterlist.

List Of Shifting Symptoms.

Notion DR Script Templates.

My Queer Labels.

My Card.

My Carrd.

@rhyswiththeshiftingzone - My other shifting account. (Pretty active.)

@rhysthedarkforestfey - My Dark Fey Otherkin account. (Not very active.)

@rhysthenonhuman - My Nonhuman account. (Not very active.)

@themanirealityshifter - My random/shifting account. (Not very active.)

@neurodivergentshiftingcultureis - My Neurodivergent Shifting Culture ask blog.

@toomuchdivergentformyneuro - My Neurodivergent account. (Active.)

@rhysandtheangelofthesunandmoon - My Greek Gods DR account. (Active.)

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

DNI List

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

Any queerphobes (including those against intersex, mspec lesbians and gays, lesboys, turigirls, gaybians, etc., just basically any contradictory label, radqueers, TERFs, and SWERFs), racists, sexists, proshippers, those who romanticize age-regressors and pet-regressors, ableists (including those who demonize personality disorders), those who romanticize any sort of mental illness, neurodivergency, and disability, anti-shifters, those against permashifters, respawners, and race-changers, those against endogenic/non-traumagenic/etc. or mixed origins or unknown origins systems, those against Palestine, those who’s blogs are Christian or God/Jesus Christ themed heavy (nothing against y’all, just have trauma with it), those who directly send NSFW stuff towards me, those who can’t respect boundaries, JK Rowling supporters, and just about anybody else that makes me uncomfortable. I will block freely.

𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸𖥸

[dustbunnylair]

Killing Stalking and How Media Has Affected The Manhwa (SPOILERS FOR KILLING STALKING!!)

TW: Mentions of r*pe, m*rder, CSA, SA, being m0lested, incest, homophobia, fetishization of gay people, romanticization/glorification of abusive relationships, Stockholm syndrome

If you are going in on this without knowing what Killing Stalking is, then let me explain. Killing Stalking is a psychological horror and thriller manhwa from South Korea written by author Koogi, it ran from March 3rd, 2016 to March 22nd, 2019. The Manhwa is about two men, Yoon Bum, is described as a frail, feminine gay young man with a round or baby face, with dark circles under his eyes, implied to be eyebags, when reading the story, even if it’s simply the first chapter, you will find out that Yoon Bum is the “stalking” in Killing Stalking. Then Oh Sangwoo, is described as a handsome, charismatic, straight young man, he resembles the “killing” in Killing Stalking. The manhwa has been quite popular since it came out, but it became popular on social media, such as TikTok, in 2019-2021. Unfortunately, this manhwa wasn’t getting popular for being a well-written psychological horror but instead was being watered down to a Yaoi. If I were to go over the entire Manhwa, we’d be here all day, so if you do want to look into it, go ahead.

The two main characters of Killing Stalking have mental illness representation, which plays a key part in the series. Yoon Bum struggles with hypersexuality, Stockholm syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and derealization. Sangwoo is a sociopath/has Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) and a narcissist.

Both Yoon Bum and Sangwoo had very traumatic lives as kids, Yoon Bum’s parents died when he was young so his grandma and uncle took care of him. His uncle would beat him with a belt, starve him and even eventually rape him. 

Sangwoo’s dad was neglectful, and meanwhile, his mother took care of him, what was seemingly an innocent and wholesome mother-son relationship, would take a dark turn for the worst. His mother killed his dad when Sangwoo was a teenager and helped her hide the body, she ended up gaslighting him into believing that Sangwoo killed his own father, not her. He and his mother got closer, she would call him “babe” which she would call her husband, Sangwoo was obviously uncomfortable with it but never directly told her, yet he did confront her, asking “You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”. His mother tried to kill him just like she did to her husband. He ended up passed out, waking up tied up in a basement. This basement led to his SA by his mother when he woke up. Sangwoo ended up breaking free in which his mother would sob and say she was sorry, it is implied that she killed herself, stabbing a knife into her neck. Sangwoo’s trauma played a huge part not only in the Manhwa but also in the fandom. 

Moving onto the romanticization and glorification of the relationship between Sangwoo and Yoon Bum, and how the reasoning behind their relationship is foreshadowed. Sangwoo says in one of the last chapters that he should’ve killed Yoon Bum from the start and he regrets not doing so. The reason Sangwoo kept Yoon Bum alive is for sexual pleasure and the fact that Yoon Bum resembled Sangwoo’s mother, Eunseo. This is foreshadowed multiple times within the series, as shown below.

If you don’t believe it because of the foreshadowing, then maybe the final Q&A of Killing Stalking will give you an answer, screenshots shown below.

Honestly, I feel like someone will tell me that no one has ever shipped Yoon Bum and Sangwoo, nor has anyone liked Sangwoo or labeled the Manhwa as a Yaoi/Bl, but I do in fact have evidence:

Killing Stalking, in my opinion, is genuinely well-written for a psychological horror. I hate to see it be watered down to a Yaoi, even when the author said it wasn’t. Not to mention that Killing Stalking claims to have a live adaptation someday. To be honest, as a “fan” of Killing Stalking, I really don’t want it to have a drama made about it. It will just make the fandom rise again and I personally feel that any time a K-drama, anime, Donghua, etc. gets popular, especially among Western countries like America, it gets overly popular in a bad way. Take Squid Games, My Hero Academia, Jujutsu Kaisen, and many more shows as examples of that. Not to mention that in Korea it is extremely hard to get lgbtq+ characters on-screen let alone get r*ped, have intercourse, or touch each other in any sexual or romantic way.

I’d also like to make it clear that I am NOT upset that it’s a gay ship, I am upset that it is an abusive/toxic relationship. Popular ships in shows (specifically in Asian media) are a topic for another time, thank you if you read this far throughout my yapping. Have a good day, and do not live in delusion like Yoon Bum and Sangwoo shippers lol

Where I got my information:

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Oh_Sangwoo

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Yoon_Bum

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Killing_Stalking_Wiki

+ Killing Stalking the Manhwa itself, you can read on Lezhin Comics or Mangago

[bengiyo]

The Novelist: Playback (2021) Stray Thoughts

We've watched The Novelist, Mood Indigo, and Spring Life. Let's watch these two try to survive long distance.

Yes, please recap for the people who maybe got dragged to a theater for this.

No car BJ? So glad I watched Spring Life already.

Oh, we're getting a bed scene. I forgive them.

Finally, we're talking about insertion and then immediately going to realistic angles. Good job, BL.

I like the way the age gap is playing into how Rio handles his disappointment that Kuzumi frequents sex clubs with his senior.

Oh, I like that we're getting more interactions with Kamuuda.

Rio's sister is always punking him.

"People who are happy have no need for art or literature," is such a cynical read.

Wow, there is a lot of resentment here.

Oh shit, this woman took out his writing hand. That's ironic. I am amused.

Oh my goodness, are we going to make an even younger boy write for him??

Never have I been happier that a boy was illiterate.

No man is immune to Kijima's sexual energy if he turns it on them it seems.

OR WOMAN, IT SEEMS!

Poor Kuzumi. Rio is a hard man to love.

Oh lord he got this boy doing the writing now. Goddammit.

Oh good Kuzumi is here. Please fix this.

I'm so glad Kuzumi caught him with the boy.

HE REALLY SAID THAT HE ACTUALLY HURT HIS HAND THIS TIME!! 🤣

Is this the first time Rio has said his given name?

I love this woman.

Oh, please don't slow zoom onto just Haruhiko to tell me that they're not going to make it.

Oh, I shouldn't have gotten attached to Haruko.

Interesting. I suppose they did foreshadow that Haruko is popular with men.

I'm going wild over the cinematography of Rio's pacing during this fight. Incredible acting from both of them in this long take. Rio can be such a jerk.

Did Rio never recognize the crazy in Haruhiko's eyes? It was the first thing I noticed about him.

Japanese characters are so good at staying still and pretending to sleep when someone looms over them.

I just love Japanese filmmaking. I love trusting actors to act and I love the composition of these shots.

"It's not about being tough. You become tough when someone is important to you." Come through, Haruko!!!

I'm fond of Shizuo.

I'm glad Kuzumi didn't answer his phone and Kijima has to take the leap of going to Tokyo without reassurance.

Kido, you have a daughter. Why ask that question?

Finally a forthright, vulnerable apology and confession from Rio.

I love that these two always kiss like maniacs.

I just love trains.

Families are difficult, but Rio is still loved.

Hands only, baby!!

Y'all awfully vocal for hands only.

The moon is beautiful tonight.

Wow these two have incredible blissed-out faces.

Oh, Rio. I felt that wall breaking. Goddamn Takezai Terunosuke is good.

"Is there really such a life without loneliness?" is a great rebuttal to Rio's cynical view.

Aww, she smiled for her brother.

I'm so glad things ended well for Haruko and Shizuo as well.

Final Verdict: 10, If You Are Male and Queer Please Watch This Franchise Immediately. I'm giving this movie a 10 for the way the entire franchise has been the most satisfying experience I've had in BL in a really long time. I keep begging for realistic approaches to male-male intimacy and relationships, and this franchise hits it constantly. Rio is layers of bullshit hiding an incredible loneliness and sense of worthlessness, and it was so satisfying to see him claw his way out of that because he found someone else who finally connected to him. It's been a really long time since I felt this good about going back to something I skipped over for one reason over another, and I can say confidently that I fully trust @lurkingshan recommendations. If you are gay and feeling a bit displaced in BL, please watch this, and then ping her, me, @harurio @ginnymoonbeam or @waitmyturtles. I promise it will be worth your time.

[sitp-recs]

Dear Liv, first of all thank you for your contributions to his fandom, I’ve found and loved so many wonderful fics thanks to you!

After reading SG’s Turn, I’d love to read more epilogue compliant Drarry fics, preferably mature or explicit, but I don’t know where to start. I was wondering if you had any favorite epilogue compliant fics to rec? Sorry if you’ve already answered a similar ask. Tysm!!

Hi anon! I feel like I haven’t contributed much to fandom lately but thank you, that’s very sweet 😘 I’m a bit picky about epilogue-compliant bc I don’t really care for het ships or kid fics and many of them involve infidelity which is not my usual jam (but I’m willing make an exception for Frayach’s brilliant Breaking All the Rules).

I listed below some recs with divorced Drarry and would suggest checking this epilogue-compliant compilation by @gameofdrarry and maybe take a look at authors like Lomonaaeren and Gracerene, they’ve written a few epilogue-compliant stories. Enjoy!

A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)

Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.

The Weight of a Wanting Heart by Femme (E, 12k)

After nearly two decades hidden away in the Wiltshire countryside, Draco Malfoy’s surprised to see a familiar face come into his local.

Lost and Found by rillalicious (M, 16k)

Hermione is an auditor for the Ministry. When she comes across an intriguing case with a familiar name, she turns to her favorite Auror for help.

Written in the Stars by November Snowflake (M, 16k)

Draco watches as his son grows up--and maybe does a little growing up of his own.

Once Upon A Time, Yesterday by Femme (E, 22k)

"You've always been obsessed with Malfoy, Harry. That should probably tell you something."

Dating for Dads in Denial by @aibidil (T, 25k)

In which one wizard designs and another reluctantly patronises a magical matchmaking service, amidst the chaos of children and parenting.

Homecoming by November Snowflake (E, 27k)

Harry thinks spending two weeks as a guest lecturer at Hogwarts will offer the perfect chance to get away from his troubles. Then he meets his assigned faculty guide: Potions Master Draco Malfoy.

Time is a Construct series by @gracerene (E, 29k)

Draco's in a bit of a rut. He's nearing forty, divorced, and he still can't figure out how to make his Time Turner reconstruction work. He's bored, he can admit it, so he's not nearly as concerned as he should be when his pet project malfunctions and sends him twenty years into the past. That is, until he ends up relying on a nineteen-year-old Harry Potter for help and starts developing some very inconvenient—and possibly reciprocated—feelings.

Paper Rings by @lettersbyelise (E, 50k)

When Harry’s in need of a divorce lawyer, he has no choice but to turn to the best in the trade. Draco Malfoy’s reputation for discretion is flawless, and his track record for winning cases is close to perfect. But he’s also ruthless, passionate, and as infuriating as ever, and the brief relationship he and Harry had in Eighth Year still feels painfully fresh despite two decades spent apart.

2020, 2021 by newleaves (M, 64k)

Harry’s going through a divorce. It’s a love story, really.

When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)

Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

This Ain't the Garden of Eden by @romaine2424 (E, 131k)

In 2020, Hit Wizard Harry is starting to enjoy his life. He’s divorced, and no longer Head Auror. His biggest project these days is trying to remodel 12 Grimmauld Place for him and the kids. Draco Malfoy is recovering from his wife’s death. But is happy with his Ministry position as Temporary Head of the Department of Intoxicating Substances, and with his son who he adores. This all changes quickly when Minister Shacklebolt decides not to run for another term.

[foxglovegames]

DEV LOG: July 2023

Just a short update from us to reflect on the very busy last two months, and what's coming next!

We spent most of this month taking a break. (Releasing a game is a lot of stress and nerves, but we're super thankful for the reception!) Melli and I took a vacation to Norway (yay), and it was our first time meeting in person since 2021. Sadly, we both got sick on our last day (not so yay) but it was still awesome to get to see each other again.

This past week, we've focused on writing for the DLC and getting the missing CGs from Stephanie x Jace's route done. They will be added in a patch update in early August, alongside some other bug fixes. (If there's anything you'd like to report, it's best to shoot us an email at foxglovegamesteam(@)gmail.com.)

We also wanted to quickly answer some FAQs about the DLC and other things. Read more under cut.

When will the DLC release?

This year. We're not giving a date until we know for certain.

How long will the DLC be?

Depends on how many of the bonus stories you play.

How many bonus stories will there be?

There's a Beach Episode, where you get to see the twins and all the love interests interact (with variations depending on your couple) - we know a lot of people have been asking for more twin moments, and this should definitely satisfy that! There's also short wedding-themed stories. And lastly, love interest POV stories where you get to see the love interest's thoughts on their relationship with the protagonists. They all vary in length/word count.

What will the DLC cost?

TBD. But it will be similarly priced to other visual novel DLCs.

What should I do until the DLC releases?

Cry until it comes out, of course. You could replay the game, drop us a review on Steam, and support some other awesome indie devs (there's so many cool projects). Our Patreon is on break this month, but starting next month, we're going to back to posting weekly previews for Trouble Comes Twice (DLC) and our upcoming projects like NOVISSIME. So you're more than welcome to subscribe and join us over there! Any funds we get from patreon go towards paying our artists for the DLC, and developing the demos for our new games.

Our askbox also remains open for anyone who's curious about anything or simply wants to chat about TCT!

Besides TCT, what are you working on next?

Our fantasy-adventure visual novel NOVISSIME remains in production, but there won't be a demo this year as we need more time for the gorgeous art.

Melli and I will instead focus on planning/writing for a third visual novel project! It's a supernatural crime drama, starring a hot-headed demon cop (male protagonist) and a vengeful vigilante vampire (female protagonist). We can't say much about this project yet as it's still so early in development, but we love the concept and we think you're going to love it too when the time comes to reveal more!

Thanks for reading!

It's nerve-wrecking to release a game, especially when it's your very first and it was in development for so long. Your warm reception has made the work well worth it though, and we're very grateful that we are able to continue making more games for you guys to enjoy.