#please stop shipping these characters

[dustbunnylair]

Killing Stalking and How Media Has Affected The Manhwa (SPOILERS FOR KILLING STALKING!!)

TW: Mentions of r*pe, m*rder, CSA, SA, being m0lested, incest, homophobia, fetishization of gay people, romanticization/glorification of abusive relationships, Stockholm syndrome

If you are going in on this without knowing what Killing Stalking is, then let me explain. Killing Stalking is a psychological horror and thriller manhwa from South Korea written by author Koogi, it ran from March 3rd, 2016 to March 22nd, 2019. The Manhwa is about two men, Yoon Bum, is described as a frail, feminine gay young man with a round or baby face, with dark circles under his eyes, implied to be eyebags, when reading the story, even if it’s simply the first chapter, you will find out that Yoon Bum is the “stalking” in Killing Stalking. Then Oh Sangwoo, is described as a handsome, charismatic, straight young man, he resembles the “killing” in Killing Stalking. The manhwa has been quite popular since it came out, but it became popular on social media, such as TikTok, in 2019-2021. Unfortunately, this manhwa wasn’t getting popular for being a well-written psychological horror but instead was being watered down to a Yaoi. If I were to go over the entire Manhwa, we’d be here all day, so if you do want to look into it, go ahead.

The two main characters of Killing Stalking have mental illness representation, which plays a key part in the series. Yoon Bum struggles with hypersexuality, Stockholm syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and derealization. Sangwoo is a sociopath/has Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) and a narcissist.

Both Yoon Bum and Sangwoo had very traumatic lives as kids, Yoon Bum’s parents died when he was young so his grandma and uncle took care of him. His uncle would beat him with a belt, starve him and even eventually rape him. 

Sangwoo’s dad was neglectful, and meanwhile, his mother took care of him, what was seemingly an innocent and wholesome mother-son relationship, would take a dark turn for the worst. His mother killed his dad when Sangwoo was a teenager and helped her hide the body, she ended up gaslighting him into believing that Sangwoo killed his own father, not her. He and his mother got closer, she would call him “babe” which she would call her husband, Sangwoo was obviously uncomfortable with it but never directly told her, yet he did confront her, asking “You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”. His mother tried to kill him just like she did to her husband. He ended up passed out, waking up tied up in a basement. This basement led to his SA by his mother when he woke up. Sangwoo ended up breaking free in which his mother would sob and say she was sorry, it is implied that she killed herself, stabbing a knife into her neck. Sangwoo’s trauma played a huge part not only in the Manhwa but also in the fandom. 

Moving onto the romanticization and glorification of the relationship between Sangwoo and Yoon Bum, and how the reasoning behind their relationship is foreshadowed. Sangwoo says in one of the last chapters that he should’ve killed Yoon Bum from the start and he regrets not doing so. The reason Sangwoo kept Yoon Bum alive is for sexual pleasure and the fact that Yoon Bum resembled Sangwoo’s mother, Eunseo. This is foreshadowed multiple times within the series, as shown below.

If you don’t believe it because of the foreshadowing, then maybe the final Q&A of Killing Stalking will give you an answer, screenshots shown below.

Honestly, I feel like someone will tell me that no one has ever shipped Yoon Bum and Sangwoo, nor has anyone liked Sangwoo or labeled the Manhwa as a Yaoi/Bl, but I do in fact have evidence:

Killing Stalking, in my opinion, is genuinely well-written for a psychological horror. I hate to see it be watered down to a Yaoi, even when the author said it wasn’t. Not to mention that Killing Stalking claims to have a live adaptation someday. To be honest, as a “fan” of Killing Stalking, I really don’t want it to have a drama made about it. It will just make the fandom rise again and I personally feel that any time a K-drama, anime, Donghua, etc. gets popular, especially among Western countries like America, it gets overly popular in a bad way. Take Squid Games, My Hero Academia, Jujutsu Kaisen, and many more shows as examples of that. Not to mention that in Korea it is extremely hard to get lgbtq+ characters on-screen let alone get r*ped, have intercourse, or touch each other in any sexual or romantic way.

I’d also like to make it clear that I am NOT upset that it’s a gay ship, I am upset that it is an abusive/toxic relationship. Popular ships in shows (specifically in Asian media) are a topic for another time, thank you if you read this far throughout my yapping. Have a good day, and do not live in delusion like Yoon Bum and Sangwoo shippers lol

Where I got my information:

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Oh_Sangwoo

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Yoon_Bum

https://killing-stalking.fandom.com/wiki/Killing_Stalking_Wiki

+ Killing Stalking the Manhwa itself, you can read on Lezhin Comics or Mangago

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[the-great-kraken]

if you see a male character kiss a male character, you assume they are gay.

if you see a female character kiss a female character, you assume they are a lesbian.

if you hear a character say they don't feel like their gender, you assume they are trans.

so why do a-spec characters have to jump through so many loops?

a character saying they've never had a crush or don't want a relationship or that they don't understand romantic love is so often ignored or used as fodder for other queer or autistic headcanons (reinforcing stereotypes that aroace people are secretly gay or always autistic)

why is it that our stories are always "up to interpretation"? why do we have to wait for the words aromantic or asexual to be said to be taken seriously? why is it that even when characters say they don't want relationships, fans will scream and cry about sex/romance favourable aspecs and qprs?

when it comes to gay and trans characters, even the likes of bisexual lighting is often treated as though it canonises their sexuality. for aroace characters, even the most explicit coding possible is swept under the rug in favour of other "interpretations"

i'm so tired of fighting for representation just to have it ignored and minimised by fans. let characters be aroace. please.

[theonlymadmanonmars]

Hi hello hi. As an AroAce individual in a QPR who has no desire for a romantic or sexual relationship, I think shipping Alastor in QPRs is so so fun and people should do it more. I also think it works for a good amount if not all of the ships I've seen him in.

Alastor and Rosie: Hell yeah. They're already great friends and every interaction we've seen between them has been pure and adorable. Rosie Gently guiding Alastor through his identity because he isn't exactly up with the slang. Them going out for tea and human flesh Sunday afternoons. Them giving each other forehead kisses and holding hands platonically.

Alastor and Angle dust: Mhmm. Angle not really wanting Sex or romance after all he's been through. Angle respecting Alastor's identity and not pushing for anything more than friendship. Alastor not really liking Angle at first because of their differences, But tolerating him regardles. Alastor explaining to Angle that Romantic relationships don't have to involve Sex (I'm an Asexual Angle truther.) Angle offering Alastor a hug that Alastor reluctantly accepts. Them cuddling at night with a pinky Promise of nothing more.

Alastor and Vox: Go ahead. A fic about Alastor trying to Navigate exactly how he feels about Vox, Because when he died the term AroAce didn't exist, so he thinks it's romantic attraction, Maybe they kiss and Alastor is like "Ha! No!" Maybe that's why they had their falling out? Who knows.

Alastor and Lucifer: So So SO much Yes. (This is my personal favorite) The two of them hating each other, but putting up for each other for Charlie's sake. Slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way. Alastor finding Lucifer sitting in a pile of ducks and despair and offering his hand to help him up and take him to the hotel. Never letting go of his hand. Fuck Enemies to Friends to Lovers I want an Enemies to Friends to Qpr arc goddamnit.

I do think it's okay to ship Alastor even outside of QPR's, BUT. If you do, don't just ignore Alastor's identity. AroAce people get far less representation than the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. I can think of one other canon Character off the top of my head. So it's not okay to erase the little rep we do get. In the end I think it's important to listen to what AroAce people have to say on the matter, it is our representation after all.

[beanghostprincess]

i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.

people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!

[agentoffangirling]

I think there would be world peace if people could stop shipping aroace characters

[joonebugg]

Hot take but there shouldn't be shipping in the mouthwashing fandom. Anyway goodnight

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 21 thoughts:

Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."

I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.

(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")

Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.

The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.

But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.

I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!

Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!

Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.

Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".

God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!

Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.

They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.

THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!

SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!

(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)

Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.

"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.

I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.

IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!

(She won't)

I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

. . .

Yep.

. . .

. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.

So anyway

Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.

Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)

Flechette is just so hopelessly gay

Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!

Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!

I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.

And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.

Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.

And then. Then just . .

No goodbyes.

😭😭😭😭😭

HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!

I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.

That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.

The Number Man interlude thoughts:

The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.

I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.

But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!

He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.

That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.

. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!

Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron

I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!

Oh my god he was friends with Jack

"Friends"

Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!

I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?

Gay

Parian interlude thoughts:

And speaking of gay!

Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"

Full U-Haul lesbian.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This is Parian's new costume having an effect.

Just so gay. I love it.

Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.

And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.

Still gay though.

Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.

[monsamborabutterfly]

We as bl fans should truly normalize separating characters from actors lol the amount of times I've seen stupid people say Neo and Mark shouldn't get more series together cause they give off bestie vibes irl...like I don't know what to tell you but if you're delusional enough to only support real people if they fit some kind of weird fantasy about actors dating you maybe need to touch some grass and a new hobby.

They have fire on screen chemistry (which you know is the actual important part when it comes to a series and cps and acting together) And they're so so so much fun to watch together irl because of the bestie vibes. Stop being so god damn weird.

[dustbunnylair]

Tired of people saying Oh Sangwoo is gay. (KILLING STALKING POST) (TW: mentions of rape and Stockholm syndrome)

for more context I'm talking more so about this image:

And before you say, "But Sal, he is!" No, he isn't the creator confirmed that he is in fact straight. If you want me to dumb it down for you, he's a homophobic, (also sexist) sociopathic murderer and rap!st. He thinks of Yoonbum as his mom, hence why there are so many references to Yoonbum looking similar to Sangwoo's mom.

for eg; when they went on a hiking "date" to bury the body, there is a flashback to when Sangwoo and Eunseo (sangwoo's mom) went hiking together.

If you ship Sangwoo and Yoonbum, please for the love of everything, get help if you can, and if you can't please just realize that it's an abusive relationship and nothing that happened between Sangwoo and Bum was consensual. The entire story is about Stockholm syndrome.

If you still choose to ship Sangwoo and Bum please stay very far away from me.

[rose-void-789]

Okay but the biggest thing for me that has always kept me from liking Izuocha is that I come from fairytail. I know shonen romance isn't boring. I know what it's like to see the two main leads love and fight and admire each other. And that's the thing that I always wanted for Ochako. I wanted badly for her to have what Lucy has.

And I did ship them at first because they were cute and I thought oh the hero name. The helping Deku win his entrance exam. Her having her own goals. Being broke the friendship. it seemed so much like Nalu. Better too because I could see Izuku blushing at her too.

And then someone says something about twin stars. About Izuku and Bakugou being intertwined. About win to save save to win. And then I see the second movie and my mind explodes. I reread the manga and realize what Katsuki did. Izuku was always pushing chasing looking at him. And that wasn't to say that izuocha couldn't happen but that interconnection I saw with Nalu wasn't it more with bkdk. And it kept getting worse. Ochako kept getting sidelined to better explore the relationship between Izuku and Bakugou.

Izuku never looked at her like she did him. Never thought about her like she did him. A blush or two wr got at most. But Ochako whole character started to soley revolved around her feelings towards him. She was the only one carrying the romance plot.

Mha isn't a show about romance but neither is Fairytail. And yet Lucy never got sideline in fact even with all the stuff on Zeref and Gray Lucy found herself interconnected to Natsu through her own bloodline. And they always had moments ones where he's scared of her getting hurt, of catching her from falling, of going berserk because he thought she died, of protecting her, of finishing a big villan off together, of being on missions together. Hell when he ran away shes the one that found him. When Izuku ran away bakugou found him. When Ochako was in danger Tsyu was there or any number of other heros, when she almost died Toga held her safely. Nalu gave me such a high expectation for shonen romance and female leads. So of course it's so frustrating seeing people call the obvious love intest boring when it can be anything that. To act like the female lead has to carry the romance plot and contribute nothing else. That the male lead can just walzt up to the that stupid clif and say that he loves her and that he always has when it was only ever iluded that he even thought that much about her in the last half of the war. And for her to so easily accept because when her whole arc is about her feelings for the guy isn't it only fair that they end up together.

Where is the interconnectivity, the care from him. Where is him looking at her the same way she looks up to him. How is the fanservice show better at writing a strong heroen! A strong partnership!

I'm so tried. I'm so sorry to everyone that's watch shonen and are expecting this out of female characters. That it's typical for the romance plot to be given to the girl and the big moments where I seen love intrest shine are given to the "rival." Ochako deserves better.

[leviismybby]

Did Isayama ever state that Levi stopped eating after Erwin's death and that the cloak Levi wears in season 4 is Erwins?

[leafyduckwebs]

I'm already seeing people fight over whether we're "allowed" to ship Peruere and Clervie....

Guys you do know that you can grow up alongside another child and not see them as a sibling right? And that children can have crushes? And that children grow up to be adults who can then develop romantic feelings? Right? Right?

[roughlytwentytwofrogs]

I need someone, ANYONE to see what I'm seeing.

Wyll x Rion (Jaheira's sassy daughter).

Okay, okay, I know, but hear me out:

Wyll becomes Duke, Rion ranks up in the Flaming Fists. They meet again some time post game because of their jobs. Wyll trying to woo her while she is just struggling to keep him alive through assassination attempts and other political shenanigans. He tries so hard to have a romance straight out of a book, except he fails to realize that he's the princess and she's the knight in shining armor (and she's very grumpy about it).

They're both idealists and inherently good guys; they both want to protect Baldur's Gate as much as they can and help people. They're a perfect match in my heart.

He'd fall first, because maybe she reminds him of Florrick a little and maybe he sees the good she wants to do behind the grumpy sassy facade she shows the world and the love and care she has for her adopted siblings whom she practically raised. He would look at her and see how fierce and intense she is and maybe he would notice the assassin coming his way a tiiiiny bit before he shows it but she's always there to save him anyways and she looks really hot doing so, so what's the harm?

And she'd fall harder because she would be convinced at first that he's another one of those 'heroes' like her mum who in the pursuit of greatness forget to be good people but slowly she realizes that he's actually not like that at all, he's a 20-something romantic and a tiny bit goofy guy trying to take an entire city's wellbeing onto his shoulders both to honour his late dad and because he's just Like That and oh my god he's kinda cute actually what the fuck.

Wyll gets to be like "That's my wife!" *kicks feet* and Rion gets to be like "That's my husband!" *punches you in the face*

And their happily ever after would involve kids (adopted or not), awkward ballroom dancing with his very much not used to it wife, and reforming Baldur's Gate and the Flaming Fists to do better.

Does anyone understand my vision??? Please???

[therentyoupay]

im completely feral over all your jelsa stories!!!!!! do you ever write established relationship jelsa or have any headcanons about what they would be like together in a serious relationship or marriage????

THANK YOU SO MUCH. 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕🙏 thank you thank you nonny for this super sweet ask and this really lovely question and all of your love and support!! 💕💕💕💕💕

i have... never actually written established!relationship (in any fandom), now that i'm thinking about it? that said, i guess i can come up with a quick list of some headcanons, maybe? 😂 i will have to think about this more, but for now, here's a quick drop:

elsa is an early riser; elsa helps jack create more sustainable sleeping patterns and habit formations 😂

when jack gets Impetuous Urges to Do Something Rash and Impractically Spontaneous, elsa will ground jack, reminding him to think before acting. (he occasionally Still Does It, anyway.) elsa knows what she signed up for, lol.

jack loves to play Harmless(!) Pranks, just to watch elsa’s reaction. (he is no longer allowed to sneak up on her after The Incident).

they also quibble over the definition of "harmless" and the specific logistical implications of that; for a while, jack was banned from further pranking, but then he got more creative at showing elsa that pranks could be wholesome and genuine, in which they could both be in on the joke. however, due to elsa's deeply-rooted Need to Excel and her (Not-so)Secret Competitive AF Streak, her retaliation in escalating the Cleverness Prank War quickly resulted in jack's prompt implementation of the Prank-Free Zones and Time Periods. (no, he was not scared.)

elsa, usually reserved, has learned to let her playful side show more often with jack. she might still pretend to be exasperated by his antics, but sometimes it's part of the game (or habit).

elsa sill struggles with opening up emotionally sometimes, but she progressively feels safe enough to share her innermost thoughts and fears. with time, she confides in him more about her worries. she still never likes the idea that jack sees her Imperfect Parts, but at least she can tolerate the discomfort (and, yes, take comfort in it) now

(jack loves elsa's Imperfect Parts, and jack admits that he is Weirdly Proud and Competitively Honored to be one of the only people, even including anna, who gets to see them. he also is strangely Comforted and Validated that elsa is, in fact, not perfect because for a while there, he was pretty freaked out and intimidated by how fancy she is.)

until he realized that no one ever let her actually be a Weirdo before, and once he realizes the Truth of Elsa Also Being a Secret (albeit perhaps more Subdued) Weirdo, the Universe Aligns.

jack listens to elsa's Big Conversations intently, activating varying levels of Serious Mode.

jack is getting better at recognizing the moments when elsa needs him to play and needs him to listen or Give His Opinion or any combination of those things.

jack learns that it's not always about Saying the Right Thing (which he is not very good at, anyway, or so our Serially Unreliable Narrator thinks), but rather being able to read elsa's mood and anticipate what she might need (even if she is not aware of it herself yet).

elsa is meticulous about planning and preparing for special occasions.

elsa likes traditions! jack likes tradition only because elsa likes them, lol, and hey, okay, these are more fun than he thought?? (who knew fun could be organized??!!?)

so he really wants to show (off to) her by pulling off Incredible Planning Feats in her honor, too (they do not go as smoothly, lol).

jack will often go out of his way to spontaneously create something meaningful, a moment or a gift or a gesture, that reminds elsa that he cares. he is big on words of affirmation, gift giving (but like, souvenirs that he collects on adventures like, "i saw this rock and it reminded me of your cousin olaf, we should put it on the window after we paint his face on it"), and acts of service, as well as physical touch and quality time. HE WANTS LOVE. he wants TO BE LOVED. he wants to prove that he is worthy of being loved.

(and elsa has to get him to Chill Out sometimes, remind him that he doesn't have to Do Things For Her/Anyone in order to be deserving of care; he is more than what he provides for other people.)

(jack gets its, and appreciates it, but also, the Urge to Provide and Protect is still strong, even after so much time, and sometimes Old Habits Die Hard.)

i get the sense that he'd be the type to he wake elsa up in the middle of the night to take her on a surprise adventure, or convince her to Do a Fun Thing without any preparation (/warning).

and she would Be Alarmed at the Lack of Plan (especially if/when jack Did Not Think This Through), but he also took precautions to ward off Concerns by pacifying her with tea, or reassurances that yes, he did call ahead to make sure the restaurant was open before they left the house, of course he did, he would never just leave home without double-checking beforehand (and frantically googles it two minutes later when he thinks she's not looking; she is, naturally, and even occasionally pretends not to be).

elsa approaches conflict with a desire to resolve things Calmly and Logically. she tries to understand jack’s perspective, even when she disagrees, and she’s careful with her words, not wanting to escalate the situation.

however, she can sometimes withdraw emotionally, fearing that she might say something hurtful if she’s too overwhelmed.

jack was initially (and, honestly, still is, even though he understands more now) hurt by her tendency to shut down when she Feels Too Much, and understands (although it's still hard) that elsa needs time to process her feelings and organize her thoughts.

jack also helps elsa actually Feel her Feelings, instead of just trying to intellectualize and analyze them. (she hates it, BUT sees the value. jack lives for these moments in which he realizes that he's actually contributing positively to her life and helping her in some way, rather than just being a burden or a nuisance, as was/is his fear.)

his initial reaction might be to push for a resolution quickly, but he’s also deeply afraid of Creating Distance between them, so after the first few fights, he really makes an effort to find the right balance between Pushing Hard Enough and Not Pushing Too hard, so that he doesn't drive a wedge between them as they work things out.

jack FEELS intensely, and can be so stubborn. he does not always have the most precise vocabulary or tools to describe his thoughts and feelings, or identify the root causes of what is actually going on inside him; sometimes elsa asks a lot of insightful and guiding questions that help jack come to the conclusions himself, and other times, she Puts Into Words the very thing that he had been thinking or feeling, but could not name, and it is very reassuring to have someone who understands him well enough to be able to do that.

after conflicts or arguments, they take time to Decompress and reassure one another (especially if at least one of them, if not both, was Overthinking again).

when they argue (and healthy couples do, remember!), it’s a dance of patience and understanding: elsa might need a moment to Collect Herself, and jack learns to give her that Space while also making it clear that he’s ready to talk whenever she is, and that he is going to try very hard to be Rational and Patient About It.

in the end, they both prioritize their relationship over any disagreement, always finding a way back to each other.

[the-way-astray]

hi, hello, yes, if you ever use the word "deserve" with regards to romantic relationships between fictional characters (and real people, honestly) then i kindly invite you to go fuck yourself