#too neutral

[lemongogo]

life of regret

[elminster-big-naturals]

when its 4am and the whole squad is zooted out their gourds trying to read the overhead menu in mcdonalds

[bluewolfangel01]

Lucifer: "Mc what are you doing?"

Mc: "nothing."

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: "Beel, explain."

Beel: "They asked to sit on my shoulders to be tall."

Lucifer: "I see now. And why is it that you wanted to be tall Mc?"

Mc: "A strange innate desire for height and the high ground."

Lucifer: 😑

Lucifer: "And you agreed to this why Beel?"

Beel: "They made me food." 🥺

[mipmoth]

It's only me and you in this cruel world walking radiator

[emmyrosee]

tw // arachnaphobia!!!

-

You’re surprised your shriek of terror doesn’t shatter the windows in your apartment.

The pitch of fear in your voice at the sight of the eight legged monster that sits stagnant on the wall across from you hurts your own ears, and you’re sure your neighbors will hear it, but you don’t care.

Your scream was to rouse Sukuna from his games to deal with the terror. And judging by the pounding of feet down the hall, you’re confident it worked.

“-at whAT WHAT?!” He yells, his head whipping around the room to scan for danger, and when his eyes fall into you, his chest heaves and eyes are blazed with fight or flight. He’s in an oversized shirt and basketball shorts, his headset off one ear and controller dangling in one fist. Not exactly ready to fight, but you find it heroic all the same. “What! Why’d you scream!”

Your eyes curve in fear as you point to the other wall, the spider continuing to sit unbothered as your horrified screams disturb everyone else. His head darts to the other side of the room, and his raised brow come down as ‘fight’ turns into ‘annoyance.’ “Fucking seriously?”

“There’s a spider,” you whimper.

“Yeah, fucking see that,” he snarls. “My question is, did ya have to shatter my eardrums and cost me my game to look at it?”

You pout at him as you curl closer to yourself, and just as he turns to leave, you’re quick to call out for him. “Please kill it!”

“You do it.”

“You know I can’t! Please I’ll let you play in peace, I’ll cuddle you and shut up I swear-“

“Alright, alright,” he groans, walking up to the wall confidently. He makes direct eye contact with you, and if you thought you were going to pass out before, nothing could’ve prepared you for the massive disbelief that grips your heart when Sukuna Ryomen, the man you love, the man you give your soul to-

Uses his bare fucking hand to kill the spider under his palm.

The loud THWAK! silences the apartment air, making it still as your jaw slacks and your breath gets caught in your throat.

“You’re welcome,” he says, looking at the squashed spider in his hand. “Come cuddle once you’re stable again.”

“YOURE LITERALLY NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN!” You wail, backing yourself into a corner as he rolls his eyes and makes his way to the adjacent bathroom.

“Fuckin’ thinking that’s a good thing.”

[jetsi]

Most fucked up chocolate i have ever seen

[bumpscosity]

i had a dream last night jerma casually said the f slur on stream looked over at chat and realizing what he just said started yelling "I CAN RECLAIM IT. I CAN RECLAIM. IT I CAN RECLAIM IT" before turning off his camera, saying "I HAVE TO LEAVE" and then turning off the stream

[laroserie]

i love the idea of joining the batfam by dating bruce, but can you imagine how awkward it must be ?

like you are dating bruce, you most probably know he is batman (he couldn't date seriously someone and never tell them) which is like a huge thing, you probably knew each others for at least 5 years and dated for at least 2 before you even step foot in his house and even then ! you still have never meet any of his adopted kids, he always has a way of avoiding The meeting.

of course - you know who his kids are, bruce is ... literally the it guy of gotham, you very much know the names and faces of his family - but that's it (now if you know their vigilantes identities is different story)

the question is, are they aware of your existence ? (of course alfred is aware; that out of the question, he followed to development of yours and bruce relationship from a to z)

going more for a no, not at the start, bruce has this clumsy dumb bilionaire personality but he probably could not like for you to receive media attention because he doesn't wish for your privacy to be intruded upon because you are dating (now there may have been one instance where the paparazzi took a picture of you and him together, but they could only see you from the back, or your face wasn't visible for whatever reason). they probably learnt about your existence very late into your relationship with bruce, and it's surely by accident, like, one of them see a message from you to bruce (and it's something probably something very cheesy) when he left it somewhere by inadvertence. and depending on who see that, they either fully open bruce's phone (sorry but they all know his phone password, bruce isn't aware of that tho) and read your conversation or they find some others way to have access to his messages with you (that isn't so blatant).

they for sure, do an 'emergency' meeting about it (dick and damian were the two that really wanted to do one, the rest probably don't care that much at that time, they probably think you are just the fling of the month for bruce - well usually the fling of the month is not that ... cheesy with him ? in their messages, and the conversations aren't usually that long ... nor do they go back that much. but whatever ! they do suddenly notice that it's been a while, since, well the last fling of the month of bruce but, it must just be a coincidence) which end up with them keeping tabs on you, just in case

now, you meeting them could happen in two way

either they are the one to meet you first - they don't want to wait for bruce to formally introduce you to them - or them to you. the one that 'lead' this is for sure damian, he is determinate to find out your intention with his father (and fight you), dick will lie and say he is just there to make sure everything go 'well' but he is just genuinely very curious about you and the fact that you are dating bruce - this can go for most of them, tho cass and tim are probably the one that are the most reticent to meeting you ? but nevertheless, they still are here, because they for sure won't let damian and dick have all the 'fun'. now jason, is probably also coming for the shit and giggle.

or you meeting them could happen because of bruce - deciding that it's finally time you meet his kids, so he invite all of them to dinner telling them he was someone he wants them to meet, and telling you explicitly that he wants you to meet his family (and the people that are part of his family but aren't family family) - of course, he could talk about it with you first, he could never force you into that. the meet - dinner, probably do not go in the way bruce hoped for it to go (but truth be told, he wasn't expecting it to go the way he wished it did). it's not awful, nothing bad happen. it's just awkward. one of them (probably jason) let slip that they already knew about you - damian make it very clear that he doesn't accept you (and dick has to try to diffuse the situation and tell you that damian is just joking - damian is not joking and he gives a death glare to dick), tim probably do not say anything of half of the dinner before asking you a weird question about something he should have no information about (like what's up with one of your weird habit / quirk), cass is just silent - she assess you for the entirety of the dinner (she conclude by the end of it that you quite a nice person and that she likes you quite a bit), duke is very kind and is very polite with you (he is a bit apprehensive and isn't sure why he is there but he figures it's because bruce wanted to have at least one regular person treating you normally - dick is too ... enthusiastic for that role)

at the end of said dinner, when bruce is driving you home, it's probably the most silent ride home you have ever experienced. until you burst out laughing - the dinner was probably the funniest shit you experienced. it felt like it came straight out of a shitty tv show with 14 seasons. sure it was very much awkward but still funny ! you reassure bruce that it was fine, though you could have liked a warning.

and ... you can add a yandere twist on it, and i love yandere so ... . some of them (tim and cass and probably dick) could start developing yandere tendencies when they learn of your existence ( and keep 'tab on you' aka stalks you and learn everything they can about you ), the others (damian and jason + eventually steph and duke even though they are probably some of waaay lesser yandere-y yandere) could start becoming like that after they finally meet you in person. damian could be the one to take the most or less time to become attach on you, it depend, but he could go thru a big phase of 'i refuse for you to replace talia, my mother, therefor i will despite your entire existence' but if you try to get closer to him, this phase will end very soon and his barrier melt away, if you want to let him take his time to accept you, the result will be the same but damian will try to make up for the time he hated you.

and of course, yandere bruce could be so happy for you to like / get to know and get closer to his family, and that's one more way he can tie you to him !

[hinamie]

round 2 of prelim designs for @philosophiums n my lovechild of an au

first year trio

[gam3ov3r]

★. *. ⋆ 𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐒𝟓?

﹥ˏ kenma's too addicted to something that isn’t you. 📄 ; just pure fluff, some jealousy (both sides)

kenma's gaming skills were good, there’s no doubt about that. it made you glad that he had a hobby other than volleyball that he loved, and (although less important) it gave you some style points with your friends. but sometimes, you wished that he’d indulge in you rather than that gaming console after a long day.

“kenmaa.” you, rather bored, called. he didn’t even look up. you rolled your eyes. “hey, answer me at least. you’re not deaf.”

he shrugged you off with an “i’m busy,” and continued playing, the sounds of his enemies in game getting obliterated by his character.

you dramatically sighed, getting up off his bed. “and to think i came over just to spend some time with you. i��m never doubting kuroo again when he says that you care more about that console than me,” you put on a pout.

“you know that’s not true.” he replied, albeit contradicting as he kept his focus on the screen. it’s like he didn’t even care.

“whatever, i’m just… gonna go over to kuroo’s.” you mumbled mostly to yourself. he perked up, snapping his head to look at you.

“you’re not actually—?” he stopped when he saw you on your phone, most likely texting. “hey, (y/n)!—”

after finishing up your message, you began to walk out. before your foot stepped out the bedroom door, you felt kenma’s arms wrap around you.

“please don’t leave.”

those were all the words he said. and yet it struck some chord deep inside you like he really, truly meant it.

“but you don’t wanna hang out,” you countered.

“i do,” he said back, “and i don’t want you going over to kuroo’s.”

“why not? he’s my friend.”

instead of answering, he tugged you over to the bed and brought you to a lying position as he tucked himself into you. “just stay,” he whispered, “please.”

you hugged him back, a bit confused at his newfound… needy? clingy? state. it was cute, you’d have to admit. he gripped you harder.

“i never knew you were jealous of me and kuroo.” you somewhat teased.

he buried his head into your neck to avoid answering.

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; gn! reader, established relationship, fluff, alcohol.

"Shouto,"

"Hm?"

"You're drunk,"

Your boyfriend leans his head on your shoulder and makes a noise in the back of his throat. "A bit."

More than a bit, you think. In actuality, you don't think you've ever seen him this drunk before. He's okay with alcohol, usually - but tends to stay away from drinking too much. You think the last time you saw him get actually drunk at all, you were both twenty and he was barely tipsy then.

He doesn't like getting drunk, he's told you before. A few times. The lack of control and hazy memories make him just slightly anxious, so he's careful around liquor.

You've been dating for years now, and unless he's living some double-life (a different one than being a hero) - you've never seen him get this wasted. Ever. To everyone else in your surroundings, it probably doesn't look that way.

But you've spent enough time to know him, and he's not like this usually. Nowhere near as absent minded he is now, at least. He hasn't been able to sit still since he downed that last bottle of shochu. He went to go play with Bakugou's cat, Momo and you couldn't find him afterwards. You lost sight of him for about half-an-hour until you finally found him in the living room while everyone else was outside, feeding Momo some treat that squeezes from a tube.

(You still don't know where or how he found where Bakugou kept the treats, but you decide it's better you don't ask. Plausible deniability, or something.)

You're both grown-ups, and you're not one to worry about his liquor intake. Still, though - you're worried. Even if it seems like he's not different to everyone else, you can tell. And it's bothering you.

"Shouto," You call out to him, your hands reaching to pet the back of his neck. He's a head taller than you, and a little heavy. Palms smooth against the prickly ends of his hair - tapered and neat. He presses his cheek to your shoulder. "Shouto, love."

"Oh," He says, suddenly remember where he is. He stands up but doesn't back away far enough to give you space. You're in a far off empty corner. Most people are in the backyard but Shouto wanted some air - so you're crowded against a wooden fence and wall with your boyfriend locking you in out by the entrance. He smells nice, you think - clean with a soft touch of aftershave. You look up at him. "Hi,"

"You're drunk," You repeat, watching him blink rapidly - bleary eyes and the faintest line of a smile whenever he glances at you. He's bent over, staring at you hard. "Is something wrong?"

His expression is the same as always. Unchangingly neutral with a strong and uncharacteristic rosiness to it. Your boyfriend is handsome, alarmingly so. You're aware of it constantly, but this new face knocks the air out of your lungs.

He's... pouting you think. But not fully. His lips aren't drawn together, it's subtle like most expressions on him.

But it's...there. You're not imagining it - the soft furrow of his brow, the press of his lips. His expression grows warmer and it only makes you more confused. He shakes it off, all of a sudden, a micro-expression that fades just as quickly as it appears.

"I'm okay."

"Are you?""

He blinks slowly at that. Concern aside, you can't help but think he's cute like this. His ears are pink enough to stick out against his skin, cold air making them flush even darker.

"I'm okay," He says, then looks at you. He sobers up if only for that moment. "Had something on my mind."

"Something you can't tell me?"

"It's supposed to be a secret," He mumbles. He's really drunk. You realize this late. "So I don't know if I can."

"Mm," You reply. You feel like doting on him suddenly, so you do, petting the back of his neck before hugging him a little. "That's okay."

He follows up with a light groan. You've never heard him complain like that, so you laugh. "But I want to tell you."

"I promise I'll keep your secret at least."

He smiles at you more fully that time.

He pauses for a minute, thinking it over. You don't do or say anything in return. A beat passes of you two standing and swaying with silence where Shout to grabs your hands from in front of you. You think he's being affectionate again, wanting to hold them.

He draws your hands to his pocket though. The angle is awkward, makes you bend your wrist on the inside of coat pocket until you feel something hard and square touch your fingers. It's velvet from the material. A box of some kind.

...A box?

Shouto guides your hand again, this time out. When you pull it out, his palm is over yours. It's a jewellery box. You blink a few times, confused. Shouto hasn't let go of your hand.

"I keep missing the timing," He says, hiccuping. The lack of sobriety more clear than ever from the slight slur in his words. "It's been in my pockets for a while."

Your eyes go wide open. You can feel your own confusion and excitement twist and tangle inside of you, frantic to get a better read on the situation. He smiles down at you, disarmingly and then closes his eyes. His forehead is warm as it touches yours.

"...I thought you didn't want to married. Not really, at least." You whisper.

"Me too," He says, a wetness to his laugh that tugs at your heart . "It was on a whim. I wanted to talk to you about it. But." He frowns a little "It's tough."

You chuckle, a sudden wetness to your voice too. "I bet it was,"

He smiles at you, big and stupid. "I love you," He closes is eyes and presses his forehead to yours more. "Thank you for everything."

"Shouto," You repeat, unsure of what else to say. "What brought this up?"

"Mm," He shrugs, getting sleepier by the minute. "I thought giving you my last name would make you suffer." He admits, soft and unsure. "But taking yours. That felt...okay. Felt nice."

"You're silly."

"Yes," He says, not denying it. "And I love you."

"And you love me." You repeat, a grin splitting your face. Big tears at the corner of your eyes, making your vision sting and your cheeks ache. You look up at him again. "Enough to marry me?"

He seems almost sheepish that time. "If you'll have me."

"Are you sober enough to even remember this?"

His embarrassment makes him blush and laugh again. "My heart is beating so loud I'm a little afraid of it. So yes. I'm sure I'll remember." He admits.

"Let's get married, then." You repeat to him, so achingly happy you think you could die. You wonder when to tell your friends. Bakugou will be pissed you did at his place. "If you'll have me."

He smiles. "I'd like too."

You lean up to press a kiss to his mouth, and Shouto holds you there to kiss you longer than you expect. When you're done kissing, he's smiling.

"Anymore secrets?"

He thinks on it, then hums.

"We should get a cat."

[sockmeat]

Alastor gets horny for romance and it's a real treat to witness

The weather gets colder and his behavior gets so much stranger... To others, anyway. You're well aware of this little routine Alastor goes through every year

You know immediately why Alastor is suddenly so much more interested in travelling with you. Normally, he'd simply ask where you were going and send you off easily, but now he's insisting that he goes to your work with you to "protect" you even though you have nothing to worry about

He feeds you like he's an Italian grandma. If he's not with you, he's in the kitchen making something for you, but if he is with you, he's dragging you to the kitchen to make something for you

He gets increasingly nitpicky about your diet and lifestyle. Generally he's a normal amount of annoying with everything you do, but it gets crazy when he's in rut

Suddenly he's insisting that you work too much and he needs to pamper you

He only allows you to eat food that he's made, which tends to be from scratch. How is he supposed to know who made these noodles? Who the hell laid these eggs? Fuck this, he's getting a chicken.

You have a chicken now... Fat Nuggets has a buddy :)

No fast food for you!! Alastor insists he knows a better recipe and will make you forget about the nasty greasy food

He's crazy because he's right, guys

Somehow he does make the food better and now you can't look at it the same anymore

This is only unfortunate when you want a yummy 3 a.m. snack

But now it's 7 a.m. and you may as well have just gone to bed

It's yummy, but is it worth it?

[bluewolfangel01]

Newly made headcanon that Mammon will check Mc's pulse mainly via their neck, when he has a nightmare about, he sleeping with, or he's hugging them (really just anytime he needs reassurance that Mc's alive or okay)

This happens after lesson 16 of course cause his brain chemistry has forever been altered since then.

Mc knows he does this, and very much allows him to do so.

[dervampireprince]

taking care of astarion after cazador's death no smut, just comfort /// gender-neutral reader/tav

after cazador's deminse, after the spawn leave, once it's just you and your companions again, astarion doesn't speak. it's as if he's in a daze. you're torn between giving him space and leaving him on his own, and wondering if he really needs to not be alone right now.

he's still covered in blood, you'd given him a shirt he pulled on over his head, the grime on his skin soaked through and left it sticking to his skin, it was over his face, in his hair. he didn't make any move to wipe any of it away.

the trek out of the castle, out of the dark, seemed so long. you wondered how he was still standing, how he was dragging his legs. you stay by his side, but did not touch him, you make no move to grab his hand, to sooth him. you hoped walking at his side, matching his pace, conveyed enough. you were here. and you weren't going to touch him until he said it was alright.

you only had one plan you cared about when you finally reached the inn. the others talked amongst themselves, one by one their eyes lingering on astarion, apologising, telling him he did the right thing, that they were proud of him. you watched them start to retreat up to their rooms as you spoke with innkeeper.

once done with your conversation, key in hand, astarion still stood at the foot of the stairs.

"were you waiting for me?" you asked. he opened his mouth to speak, his eyes drifted down, he paused. "i want to take you somewhere. and i know you're tired, i promise it's to help you rest."

he nodded, still mute, you reached out to take his hand, stopped yourself, and instead beckon him to follow you.

you wound through the inn, existing out into a small garden, and entering the building on the other side, guiding astarion through the main door and down the corridors until you found the door that fits the key the innkeeper gave you.

inside was a small, private bath, sunken into the ground like a hot spring. it's nothing that fancy, but it's quiet, and fits it's purpose. you press the key into his hand, carefully.

"i can leave, if you'd like. and you can take all the time you need... or, if you'd rather, i can stay and help you wash. and that's all we'll be doing. i'd be touching you, but it wouldn't be sexual. and if you're not comfortable with that, it's okay," you twisted your head to try and catch his gaze. "would you like me to stay or go? i won't be offended or upset, the choice is yours, and if you'd rather i go i'll be waiting for you upstairs."

he still didn't speak, you wondered if his screams and cries earlier have made his voice hoarse, or if he just can't bring himself too. your hand hovered by his cheek, not touching, but trying to guide his head to turn towards yours, and when he finally does there's wetness in his eyes, the blood high on his cheekbones becoming smudged.

"would you like me to stay?"

his teeth sank into his lip, if they drew blood you'd be unable to tell. he nodded his head.

"would you like to undress yourself, or do you want me to help?"

you saw him shudder, and he stepped back and as he started to remove his clothes you did the same with yours. you wade into the bath, sinking down and sigh as the water washes over your tired muscles.

you turned, and reached out a hand towards him. he took it.

he's silent as you reached into the small basket at the side of the bath, lathering soap in your hands and getting to work, starting with his hands, kneading around his nails, up his arms, his torso, his face.

he's silent as you nudged him to move, knelt up behind him, asked him to tilt his head back, poured water over his head, felt him start to relax as he closed his eyes, running your hands through his hair, feeling as though it's the most intimate action you've ever done with him, despite the multiple nights of passion.

he's still silent when you exited the baths, annoyed that you can't just roll under clean sheets but have to redress yourselves, as you hesitated to follow him into your room, ready to bunk with one of the others, but he took your hand, and then you're both silent as you undress again, crawl under the sheets, letting him reach for you this time, now that he's ready, taking him in your arms, cradling his head to your chest, fingers playing with his hair.

you don't imagine the soft "thank you" that fell from his lips as you both drifted off to sleep.

[emmyrosee]

Can I request anything food related with Sukuna 🥺

I don’t rlly have anything specific lol but my life has never been the same since finding out that Sukuna canonically loves eating so I’d love to see that in a more wholesome way 😩

“Ah-ah!”

Your wooden spoon comes down and cracks hard on Sukuna’s knuckle that’s trying to get a scoop of cookie dough, a yell of pain ringing in the air. He waves it around before cradling it in his other hand, “are you fucked in the head?!”

“Don’t. Touch,” you say firmly, not wavering under his pout. “These are for Kugisaki. Not for you. Keep your nasty little paws out of the dough.”

“But-!”

“No buts,” you say firmly, waving your spoon at him in warning. “Maybe if you’re nice, I’ll save you some cookies. But do not. Eat. The dough.”

“You’re not my dad-“ he reaches again to try and take a fingerful of dough, only to whip his hand back when you try and whack him again. “Stop it!”

“Stop trying to taint my cookie dough!” You snap, and he grumbles and pouts more. You roll your eyes and stalk over to him, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to his red knuckle, “make yourself a sandwich, and I’ll make you a big cookie for dessert.”

“Why don’t you make me one?” He grumbles, and when you smack his chest, he holds his arms out in defense, “not like that, for compensation! God, chill out.” When you thwack him again, he whines, “fucking god, stop hitting me!”

“Maybe don’t say or do things that make me have to hit you,” you shrug. He grumbles something under his breath, still rubbing the sore knuckle, and with a small sigh, you grab a clean spoon from the drawer and scoop a small amount of cookie dough onto it, bringing it over to him to let him take a bite.

He’s wary, eyeing you uncomfortably, “…is this a trick?”

“Would I trick you when it comes to cookies?”

He looks you up and down for a sign that you are kidding, but when you nudge the spoon again at his lips, he takes it into his mouth, eyes closing at the sweet, sticky cookie dough. “‘Fanks,” he says, mouth full.

“Youre welcome,” you say sweetly, tossing your arms around his neck. “You’re just one big baby today, aren’t you?”

“How dare you talk to me the way you do?” he grumbles. He completely goes against himself however as he gives you a small peck on the lips before patting your butt to let you go, “you want a sandwich too? For all your hard work of baking and beating the shit out of me?”

You snicker and turn back to your dough, “no thank you, I’ll make one once I’m done.”

“Fine. See if I’m nice to you again.”

“You seldom are anyways.”

“Fuck you, I’m a delight.”

[ribbononline]

Callie and Marie posting in honor of their Splat 3 designs which I love dearly