#too much time spent with the secondary characters with no real interest in them

[krimiqueer]

My humble contribution to the trending of Spatort with, as usual, some Google Translate shenanigans.

[asexual-doctor]

Season 8

Terror of the Autons 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

Weird that I would ever say that but I kind of wish this episode had had a couple more parts. I didn't get to feel anything for the secondary characters, especially Rex, I wished we'd seen him fighting against the Master's control a bit more, especially concerning his dad. The Autons are still creepier than in New!Who, especially the big headed guys touring in a bus like a weird boysband. This incarnation of the Master is probably one of the best, he's classy, shows very little emotion and is ruthless. I really really love him. But I'm afraid I can't say the same for Jo (yet?). I miss Liz. And I'm mad that they replaced her with someone that doesn't know anything about science so she can just "assist" the Doctor by bringing him tea and making phonecalls for him. In this house, we spit on mysoginy.

The Mind of Evil 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

Mike Yates, my beloved. Really, he's the real hero of this episode. I think I had liked this episode better when I first watched it. I like the idea, the machine that feeds off evil thoughts, the peace conference, the missile. But I felt that there was too much coming and going, half of the time Jo and Three were escaping from prison to be caught two seconds later. I did like the Master and the Doctor (briefly) collaborating but it was very short.

The Claws of Axos 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

I liked this one. The organic ship, all linked to the Axons and to axonite was very very cool, very much like the TARDIS (and I don't remember if the fact that TARDISes are grown was already a thing or if it came later). Visually, they were ugly but if you can pass that, the concept was interesting and well handled. I'm obviously still a slut for the Doctor and the Master cooperating (actually maybe more of a slut for the Master and the Brig collaborating, oh my god!), especially with Three trying to make everyone think he's done with Earth and is just abandoning ship when shit hits the fan. Very well done. And of course, baby is still stuck on Earth and we still get to have him bitch about the Brig and that's really all I want. And I still don't like Jo. She was better in the previous episode but she really annoyed me here, please give me back Liz.

Colony in Space 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

Finally an episode that isn't on Earth in the 70s/80s. Only setback for that is that we have a Brigadier-free episode and I wasn't ready for this (and still Three is rude to him). I liked the setting for this episode although it dragged a bit sometimes. I wished we'd spent more time on the natives, they seemed really interesting but there's still a lot we don't know about them. And I really don't like Jo. I don't remember disliking her so much first time I watched these episodes, maybe I forgot.

The Daemons 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

My favourite episode of this era and probably one of my favourite of all the classics. And what's not to love? The esoteric atmosphere of it all is so well done, with the fews shots at the beginning of the cat and owl, and stuff and the Beltane celebration, it's all very witchy and I'm all for it. There's even a witch, Miss Hawthorne and I love her thank you very much. We also get the Brig in bed, in his PJs and he's in very good form with some of his best one-liners. Yates and Benton get more space to shine and I can totally say now that I'm in love with Mike Yates, bisexual disaster. And only Three is allowed to bitch about the Brig, I love how he tells Jo off when she calls him an idiot (or whatever). The Master is obviously another big asset of this episode, cult leader seemed like a natural next step for him (lol). Anyway, great episode that I always love to watch.

[ladyknight33]

Opinons on the New Style of Live Action Storytelling

Tl:dr: The 8 episode format for the new Live Action stories is too limited for the complex stories of the original source material. Action scenes and Magical displays are not substitutes for building tension and climatic battles. The characters and storytellers deserve better. 

*

As much as I am enjoying this new era of small screen scripted fiction through the streaming services, I am a bit disappointed in how rushed every show feels. The six to eight episodes force the story to hit key points without allowing the story to actually breathe and endear itself to the viewers. 

First of all, I do not believe all stories must be done in the Live Action format because locks the world into the physics we understand within our own physical world. This limits much of the imaginative qualities a work of fiction inspires. 

Example: when watching an animated Star Wars Jedi do amazing feats accredited to the Force, it is spectacular and defies the known laws of physic. When a live action Jedi attempts the same feats, the action is dulled down to fit the current CGI limitations. This holds true for any magic or anything non-real. 

This leads into a second issue live action formats fall victim to: intense focus on special effects.  Storytelling is forced to take a backseat to the long sequences of beautiful CGI images or fight scenes. T.V. and Film are visual media and they thrive on fantastic imagery. These scenes are necessary when trying to tell a visual story, but not when it takes away from character development and slows the pace of the story. 

Example: The epic fantasy series I grew up reading, The Wheel of TimeI, was long due for a visual adaptation. I have accepted that the show is not the book, but there are pacing issues that could have been avoided if the limited time had not been spent on the intense focus of weaving magic or on action sequences that took the majority of the episode.

The pacing issues are found when significant plot points must be achieved within a limited time, to the detriment of character development, dialogue, and space for the viewer to absorb what is happening. Plot points are the anchors of the story. They are what pulls characters across continents to fulfill destinies. But the story is what happens along the way. 

The plot points of Lord of the Rings are how Frodo gets the ring, is told to destroy it, and finally destroying it. The story is the emotional and physical toll it takes on Frodo and his companions on the way to destroy the ring. The pacing must allow for this internal conflict to which is so central to Frodo’s development. Action scenes are the point where all the built up tension must break. Jumping from action to action, fight to fight, gives no time for the conflict to build. 

Example: Avatar: The Last Airbender is an epic tale of young teens trying to save the world. But they encounter so much during their journey that it takes 20 episodes to tell the first part of the story. The live action is only allowed 8 episodes to introduce the four main characters and the many important secondary characters, and then take them across the four nations, improve their talents, create love interests (Sokka really has two women fall in love with him on two separate occasions in under a day? Really?), and every episode must have an epic fight scene which does little but show the impressive powers of Bending. 

It doesn’t seem fair. 

Why does a book that requires nearly a thousand page to tell a complex story get reduced to 8 episodes. Why does an animated series that required 20 episodes to tell a complex story get reduced to 8 episodes. Why does a manga which required a hundred  chapters or 50 episodes to tell a complex story get reduced to 8 episodes.

Who decided 8 episodes was the new standard? Even at almost an hour long, 8 episodes constrain the story and leave the audience annoyed and how much potential was wasted. 

The anime One Piece is another epic story I grew up with and am still thoroughly enjoying. It doesn’t seem fair that it was reduced to 8 episodes. The series still had the same trouble as all live action remakes, but they embraced the new format and retold the story with the limited time. It cut many scenes I personally enjoyed and believed to be integral to character development (I’m looking at Zoro’s fight with Arlong and Sanji rescuing Luffy from drowning) but it allowed time for the characters to interact and find a balance. The special effects are blended into the story telling and not showcased in their own long, though pretty, sequences. 

Even the shows created with the 8 episode limited series in mind have trouble getting the right blend of character development and epic fight scenes. 

Obi-wan Kenobi had great potential but left viewers unsatisfied. Ahsoka fell into the same pattern of long silent solo scenes or abrupt violent clashes. For me Ahsoka at least felt like a very long movie if watched in one sitting. Kenobi left me wanting to know more about the new character, Reva, but she was stuck as a one dimensional villain in favor of a Darth Vader Kenobi duel. Ahsoka spent much of its time trying to introduce the characters and plot of Star Wars: Rebels and revisiting Ahsoka’s past that they almost forgot that they were trying to tell a new story. 

Each of these shows have great scenes and showcase wonderful characters. The creators of these shows have wonderful shows that came before. 

The 8 episode choice is a poor one. It must be longer than a movie but shorter than a stander T.V. series. The stories chosen are far more complicated than what a movie can handle but need more time to truly develop into an epic story that is revered by audiences long after its conclusion. Yes, I’m referring to Avatar: The Last Airbender Animated Series. 

A story as complex as The Wheel of Time or One Piece deserves a T.V. soap opera treatment. The Live Action Avatar: The Last Airbender needs at least twice as many episodes to follow the characters and show their development without everything feeling cramped and rushed. Ahsoka could have been a two night event. A two hour movie on each night, one before Peridia and one after. Kenobi would have benefited from at least two more episodes to allow Reva to really shine as a new villain or to have removed the character all together.

After a long drought of scripted sci/fi and fantasy, I am thrilled to see the development of all of these stories. I can’t wait for more. But I am terrified that this 8 episode format is going to kill the movement because none of these stories have the staying power or time to draw in new audiences. 

Remakes are lovely, but if they are only done as fan-service or fulfillment of a single person’s desire to have their name on it, then don’t. Live action has some how become synonymous with legitimacy. As if animation is not simply a method of storytelling, but as a child only form. Live action should bring in new audiences to beloved stories, not infuriate the old. The pace of storytelling should be of prime importance, not constrained to an arbitrary number of episodes. 

So I am saying farewell to the many scenes I wished could be recreated in this world of live actions remakes. We each have them. And I retain hope that new seasons and series will do better. 

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

do appreciate how secondary and side characters just get to, exist together, and actually interact casually- like their social groups are pretty separate most of the time but then when they happen to be around each other you get reminded

"oh hey yeah, they have complimentary personalities! Headstrong socially oblivious girl + the quiet happy-in-the-background girl who's bestie is also headstrong and socially oblivious. Of COURSE they'd be comfy hanging out together. Quite girl admires the giant fish oblivious girl dragged ashore, they build a sandcastle together, socially oblivious girl doesn't mind when quiet girl leaves to hang out with another friend for a while, headstrong girl leads them off to the buffet at a party and quiet girl is happy to follow along-"

it makes SENSE. it means so little in the moment, but they're all about to go through hell with and because of each other, and just letting them bounce around together like this makes them feel so much more real

no, that isn't their bestie or their ride or die they're being pitted against. but it's someone they know. someone they've helped out or had fun together with- and it's just so sucky and unfair that they get pushed into cutting into the fabric of their lives to try saving the one person who matters to them MOST

because these other people matter too! it ISN'T as easy as weighing relationships on a scale!

when you see different parts of a character based on who they get to be around, and what bits of themselves they show or admit to around that other person- then it's a personal loss for the CHARACTER when those moments also get lost, even if their gain something in return

also forgot how it's implied our main character spent almost half the season thinking one of her co-leads was probably lesbian (cough cough FORWSHADOWING cough) bc she showed no interest in boys- AND IT ONLY COMES UP AT ALL BY ACCIDENT like our mc was just out here, tagging along on spy missions with the local truant biker girl in her skin tight leather bodysuit, assuming she probably either had or was in between girlfriends, completely unfazed, which i mean fair there are actual mecha monsters appearing out of thin air but STILL

and they're both in highschool but their 14 yo swordsgirl friend is also part of the team, pissed at almost being left behind, treated seriously and also appreciated for breaking a tense dramatic moment with a plea for snacks bc she's active af and constantly in need of calories

it's like dang i really forgot how much breathing room these ladies got, all the other very annoying parts of the story aside

still tho please don't watch it. im. suffering.

[chuluoyi]

It's okay! I hope you enjoyed your break!!

YES there is a Xmas event omg I'm broke... BUT you have a chance bbg let's gooooo

😭😭 Unholy blood is so SO good tho!! Like Tbh I never liked vampires and stuff but this plot is so interesting I LOVE it. And to top it all off with ROMANCE- *chef's kiss*

Omg tell me once you've read it! I just started reading it haha!

omg right? No longer a heroine is so good like I love her character development! I also recc "Sister's war". It's by the same artist! It's so drama but I live for it.

hehe no probs Chu! I love giving reccs hahaha

OH and that's on my TBR omg glad to hear it's good I'll read it soonnn

.... No surprises there... Ngl she's a walking red flag... no offence but I have really no words...

AW it's an honour 🥹🥹

hahaha I can't sleep in I've got like 3 projects due in Jan... My trip to Kuantan [YES KUANTAN] was only 4 days long.... I need a longer break istg banking and finance isn't being good to me AT ALL.

YEAH I GET YOU I can't even go to school without light makeup cause I feel like everyone would judge me if I went bare faced bruh. Plus in my school, we don't have a uniform so everyone just dresses up. I don't have much clothes but I still gotta dress up cause the other girls look like they're going for a fashion show... Eyeshadow eyeliner and lipstick too! Like my extracurricular activity is makeup but I don't even feel like doing makeup everyday before going to school like PLS I'm there to study not to look good?!

Sorry for ranting HAHAH and yeah that's how I spent my secondary school breaks too! I love "Haikyuu" my first anime was "Yuri!! On ice". The 2nd one is gay but it's pretty good in my opinion. I love Violet evergarden too omg. For shows... I watch a LOT of K-dramas and my fave is "While you were sleeping" and "The Hymn of death". The latter is a short one, 3 eps if I rmb correctly! But it's so good and angsty HAHHA

YEAH I think I know that acc omg! I don't follow her but I always receive notifs from her- I DO hope he's alive tho! My non-JJK friends like to send me pics of half Gojo... You know the kitkat one?? Brutal...

YEAH LEVI SO FINE FR!!! Hotness at it's finest oh my goodness Idc if he's half blind and short and older than me he's the definition of a MAN

Oh my OH MY Taytay supremacy 🥹🥹🥹 I agree it's all so relatable like every song is a story itself!

Thanks for the tips, Chu 😭😭😭 I should try the forum... I hope it can help me....

Hahah totally relatable! When I started Accounting 2 years back I was like ?!??!?! More than half the time HAHAH like JUST BALANCE 😭😭😭 You'll make my life a whole load easier.... 1 financial statement is worth 20 marks... so you can imagine how much I'll suffer if I don't balance it.. Okay but I prefer my maths and languages over sciences 🫠🫠 I suck at Bio... But I kinda like chemistry ngl it's quite fun

hehehe it's nothing!!! and thankss I did enjoy it!!

Also, when I went to Kuantan heard the mayor was planning to build a LEGIT REAL LIFE memorial for Nanami 😭 She's in the midst of liaising with Gege and JJK editors. Its so cute how Kuantan is using Nanami as their marketing strategy 😭😭 Istg all the Nanami girlied will FLOCK to Kuantan just to take a pic with the memorial HAHHA

Okay I think I've written too much 🤭🤭 Hope to hear from you soonnnnnn 🩵🩵🩵🩵

-🪩

disco anonn!!🥹🥹 i have just gotten back from luke's bakerlon card omg i'm positively swooning it's my most fav card now AAAAAA

it's the same childhood friends luke rosa but takes place in bakerlon, really. and there's this little angst between them, forbidden love trope, and rosa is as brilliant as always if not more!! i love luke so much he's always there for her like aaaaaaaaa

and in the beginning, we get to see luke all serious and with that lower voice too🫠🫠

and the xmas event!! good lord i put all schips i have again and got marius so i think okay that's worth it🥹 i haven't read it yet but will after this! thank god they make luke an SR one or else😭😭

samee!! i used to think vampire stories are usually over-the-top but unholy blood makes it so modern i love it sm😭 it's to the point that i'm rereading it several times because the ending is just tooo bittersweet don't you think?😭 like we won but at what cost... pastor michael's sacrifice at the beginning of the chapter never fails to bring me to tears ugh

wait i actually didn't find the author's new work because i got tangled up somehow. is it apostle's creed? i ended up reading that🥲 but i think it's one of her older works...

okay okay i live for all drama!🥹 as of now i'm still on death is the only ending for villainess! it's so good omg thank you for the recs i just realized that i once read it too but then forgot it halfway🥲 i totally remember callisto's smirk alright. now i'm picking it up AHAHAH

you're going to kuantan!? omg i hope you have fun there!!🥹 to be honest silly me didn't know than kuantan is in malaysia before jjk🥲 but yes i saw this one ad that features nanami for kuantan😭 and yes me too! year end means work after work so i'm quite literally dying these days🥲 once january comes i'll be submitting my one-week leave!

i so relate to you!! but it's so cool that your school doesn't have any uniform and that you have makeup as an extracurricular?! i used to hate my high school skirt sm because they made it so long i had to cut it🥲 AHAHHAA omg like going to fashion show🥲🥲 i used to get this hate(?) from these group of questionable boys for wearing powder at school whereas they also mocked girls who were bare-faced as well. istg they were simply weird😩

that's perfectly okay!! you can rant whenever you want with me!🥹 ahh i've heard of yuri on ice too back then it was kind of booming?🥹 and HYMN OF DEATH I WATCHED IT LEE JONGSUK omg his dramas are always good🥹 and shin hyesun's acting is always top-notch too. i love shin hyesun in angel's last mission the most though because the story is just generally sweet!

that KITKAT HAHAHAHAH😭😭 i know that and also this one meme of gojo's half body with christmas hat. gods i hate that meme sm😭 my bf loves it he's so insufferable

hotness at its finest is so real ahahahaha

you're welcome!!🥹 i personally feel the forum is so helpful even though we asked the basics so i hope it'll help you too!

THAT'S SO TRUE or the exams would only consists of 2 financial statements which means each of them worth 50 marks?!😭 that sort of headache is what makes me choose engineering as my major in uni but then now at work i'm somehow back to dealing with finances and such *siiiigh*

omg you like math? i used to hate that even more than economics🥹 because i'd tear my hair out for finding x and y and for the life of me, i can't solve those kind of questions fast😩 and same! i suck in bio bcs i have trouble remembering complicated things but chemistry is so fun there was one time i remember all things in the periodic table even though i have a short-term memory aha

REALLY?!😭 wait but how, is it the same or different with the nanami memorial that's in the google?? even i'm interested to visit kuantan too if there would be a nanami shrine there!!🥹🥹

that's okaaay! my reply is sooo long too omg and i'm waiting for your reply too!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[albertonykus]

Doraemon Movie Review: Nobita and the Knights on Dinosaurs (1987)

What is Doraemon? The title character of the Doraemon manga and anime is a blue robotic cat from the 22nd Century who keeps an array of high-tech gadgets in a portable pocket dimension on his belly, and has traveled from the future to improve the fortunes of a hapless schoolboy named Nobita. Although relatively obscure in the English-speaking world, Doraemon is a Mickey-Mouse-level cultural icon in East Asia (and some other regions, too). The Doraemon franchise was a big part of my childhood, and there are still elements of it that I enjoy now.

Doraemon has released theatrical films almost annually since 1980, most of which involve Nobita and his friends (kind Shizuka, brash Gian, and crafty Suneo) getting swept into adventures thanks to Doraemon's gadgets. Despite being of potentially broad appeal to fans of science fiction and animated films, there are very few English reviews of the Doraemon movies, so I'm embarking on a project to write about all the films that have come out so far. Good luck to me…

Movie premise: Nobita and his friends find a dinosaur civilization underground.

My spoiler-free take: A interesting Doraemon movie with a fascinating scientific background and decent plot revelations. Unfortunately, the build-up to these elements is relatively long and dull.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: What interests me the most about this movie is the scientific inspiration behind it. The idea that troodontid dinosaurs could have evolved into human-like sapient forms had they avoided extinction was directly based on a thought experiment put forward by paleontologist Dale Russell in 1982. The film also depicts a bolide impact as the cause of the end-Cretaceous mass extinction, a relatively new and controversial idea at the time. (I previously discussed these and other paleontology references in Doraemon here.) By the way, this won’t be the last appearance of the end-Cretaceous mass extinction in a Doraemon movie...

Sadly, I didn’t find most of this movie quite as engaging as its premise might suggest. I did appreciate the reveal close to the ending, and the fact that there’s no irredeemably evil villain to be defeated is a pretty fresh concept for a Doraemon film, with the main source of conflict turning out to be a misunderstanding. However, it takes a long time for these pieces to fall into place. It might have been that I went into this film knowing that Russell-inspired dinosauroids played a major role (whereas the protagonists don’t learn that they’re dealing with sapient dinosaurs until over halfway through the story), but I thought that the setup took far too long. The lead-up to the main plot in Doraemon movies can often be quite enjoyable, with Doraemon frequently showing off a wide variety of gadgets to help the main characters navigate hazardous terrain or convert inhospitable environments into comfortable living quarters. Yet what little there is of that here felt relatively short and unmemorable. Much more time is spent on a subplot where Suneo keeps catching glimpses of the underground dinosaurs and tries to convince the others that what he’s seeing is real, which eventually puts them in contact with the dinosauroid civilization but wasn’t particularly compelling otherwise.

There are also aspects of the worldbuilding that I thought could have been fleshed out more. For example, in addition to the city-dwelling, technologically advanced dinosauroids that the main characters get to know, we see that the underground world is home to at least one other sapient culture, consisting of a kappa-like species that leads forager lifestyles. Are those also descendants of troodontids? That is never explained, and the foragers are never portrayed as anything more than secondary antagonists. In the end, I think this is a fascinating Doraemon movie, but not one that lives up to its full potential as a work of entertainment.

Star rating: ★★☆☆☆

[weyrwolfen]

Eidola: Chapter 04 - CT-5040 Factorial

Rating: T

Characters: Gen, Clone Trooper OCs, Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano, and other canon members of the 501st/332nd

Warnings: canon-typical violence; references to self-harm, injuries, and substance abuse; PTSD; it’s post-Order 66 and nobody is having a good time (but they’re all working on it)

Summary: The mission was never to bring down the Empire. Not really. The mission was to save every single one of their chipped brothers. But if doing do helped break the Empire’s stranglehold on the galaxy? Well, that was just a bonus.

Factor, and Tech whenever he was around, had been granted one terminal in the base’s command deck, but that workstation had grown over time, spreading across a good fifth of the room. Not that anyone complained much. Now most of the base’s functions were automated or could be run remotely from synched datapads, so it wasn’t like they were taking over space anybody else was actually using.

Today, Factor and Tech were setting up a secondary terminal, eating up just a bit more space, but this one was just as important as their previous expansions had been. Maybe even more so. This terminal was going to host their Imperial intelligence station.

Tech was installing a modified docking station for Shark’s datapad while Factor worked on the new scomp jack. He was positioning it higher up on the workstation than usual, on top of the desk rather than low on its side. After all, they didn’t have too many droids on base, but they did have Echo. Sometimes. Whenever Clone Force 99 decided to drop by.

“Factorial, let me know when you reach a good stopping point,” Tech said without looking up from his own work. “I find myself in need of a second set of hands.”

Tech was one of only a handful of people who called Factor that. When the two of them had been introduced, Tech had taken one look at the mathematical notation painted in orange-gold on the side of Factor’s helmet, tapped something into his highly customized datapad, and said, “Your designation number is the factorial of seven. Your real name is Factorial, is it not?”

Which yes. Yes it was. Or, at least, it had been. Factorial was the name he’d selected back on Kamino, but once he’d been deployed into an active combat zone, his commanding officers had shortened it, probably because two syllables were easier to shout over the sound of blaster fire than four. It was okay, really. He didn’t mind being called Factor, but it was nice when somebody got the joke.

“Yup, one second,” Factor replied, easing the freshly wired jack into its job box and threading the first of four anchoring screws into place.

His designation had kick-started an interest in numbers as a cadet. His instructors had allowed the little quirk, even encouraged it when he’d started applying his interests to astrogation and coding. Maybe he hadn’t been decanted with the same inborn intelligence of someone like Tech, but Factor had applied himself to his extracurricular studies with a passion. He enjoyed the predictability of the calculations and codes; they were like little puzzles he could pick apart in his downtime.

That interest had transitioned into wanting to better understand the computers he was using, which had ended up getting him dumped more and more into the intelligence and communications side of things. By the time the war had ended, he’d spent more time in grays, handling encrypted data and sensitive transmissions, than he had in plastoid, handling blasters.

Not that he couldn’t handle a blaster anymore. He was still a clone trooper, after all.

And then his chip had activated while he’d been stationed in orbit, above Utapau. After that, his fragmented memories only ever seemed to involve blasters.

“Done,” Factor said, tightening the last screw and then folding up and clipping his multitool back onto his belt. “What’s the problem?”

Tech was craning over the desk, holding the boost mod with one hand and digging around behind it with a pair of long-handled tweezers with the other. “Hold this steady, and give me some light inside the access panel,” he said without looking up from his work, joggling the mod a little to make his point.

Factor pulled a small flashlight off of his utility belt and took the mod, craning to see what Tech was after. Ah, right. The internal wiring in the station was an absolute mess. He’d been cleaning it up in their existing workspace whenever he didn’t have anything better to do, bundling wires, strapping them together, and pinning them down in orderly bunches, but he hadn’t made it to this station yet. Tech picked up his own multitool with his newly freed hand, flicked out a probe with his thumb, and used it to push the loose, tangled wires aside, revealing the unused ports beneath. Factor angled the flashlight to better hit the ports, and Tech finally managed to plug the cord into place with an audible click.

“Got it,” Tech said, pulling both tools out from behind the mod.

Factor eased the device down, where it could rest awkwardly on its bed of wires for a moment. The whole process would have been a lot easier with a slightly longer cord, but they didn’t exactly have the supplies to get picky. Everything they did on this base was kriffing jury-rigged to within an inch of its life.

Meh, as long as the end result worked.

Tech typed something into his personal datapad and then started securing the mod into place, so Factor gave the rest of the workstation a once over, looking for anything else that needed doing. They’d worked around the existing terminal adding a dock and other extra ports, the scomp jack, some mods to help boost the datapad’s speed and storage capabilities, and a slicing scrambler of Tech’s own design, just in case any Imps noticed their backdoor data feed. Highly unlikely. Their code was solid, but you couldn’t be too careful.

He could pick up the wire clippings and other detritus of their work. Add a kriffing caf coaster. Honestly, all they really needed to do was fire up the terminal and see if everything was working properly. But to do that, it’d be better if they had–

“Echo is on his way,” Tech said distractedly, sitting down in the chair in front of the main terminal. He gestured to the freshly installed datapad dock. “Do you want to do the honors?”

Factor couldn’t hold back a surprised glance. Granted, working with Tech never failed to be interesting. Factor always left their work sessions with half a dozen newly acquired bits of useful knowledge. But he’d also had to learn to let a lot of things slide. Tech had… issues with most of their brothers on base, including Factor.

It didn’t take a genetically-manipulated, hyper-intelligent super soldier to guess why. Being a visibly non-standard clone with a semi-permanent posting on Kamino had to have been a special kind of torture. The pressure to conform – to match perfectly to an idealized mold – had permeated every aspect of the clones’ indoctrination. It had taken Factor being deployed out from under the long necks’ thumbs before he’d had some of that osik forcibly kicked out of him.

So yes, he understood Tech’s often suspicious, stand-offish behavior. Factor didn’t like it, but he got it. At the end of the day, Tech was still his brother though, which put him lightyears ahead of some of the more charming, non-clone officers Factor had been forced to work with in the G.A.R.

Why he was suddenly okay with some reg “doing the honors” on one of their projects was an entirely other matter. Something had changed, Factor just didn’t know what.

“Uh, sure,” Factor said, stepping forward to pick up the datapad in question. It fit easily into its cradle, power and network hookups snapping snuggly into place.

The terminal’s main screen flickered to life.

Tech stretched his hands over the keyboard, fingers curling over the keys in a moment of hesitation. Then he was off, letters and numbers flashing up on the screen as he typed, lightning-fast.

Factor leaned his hip against the desk and crossed his arms, watching the screen with interest as Tech put their new toy through its paces.

“Network connection is stable,” Tech reported distractedly, almost as if he was talking to himself. Probably because he was. “Clearance seems to be mid-low level, but Echo will handle that with minimal effort. I’m not detecting any security alerts.”

He paused for a moment, and Factor glanced away from the screen to see if anything was wrong. Tech’s head was cocked to one side in apparent thought.

“Any search requests?” Tech asked.

Factor’s eyebrows rose a little higher. Tech’s offer had been downright solicitous, and again, wholly unexpected.

Factor thought for a moment. “Any records of this base’s existence?” he asked. If the Empire knew anything about who was residing here now, they’d have come knocking months ago. But there might be some mention of a Death Watch outpost lurking around in some archive somewhere.

Tech’s fingers flashed over the keyboard. Factor watched the queries and results scroll down the screen:

<<< reports of a Death Watch raid on a lapis shipment from Draboon IV >>>

<<< refueling stations along the hyperspace routes in Mandalorian space >>>

<<< abandoned mining interests in the outer Draboon system >>>

“Nothing particularly obvious,” Tech said, tapping through the schematics of what appeared to be some civilian class of Mandalorian satellite array.

Then he was typing again, entering names of people and places, some of which Factor recognized, most of which he didn’t. Tech seemed to be particularly interested in lists of known Jedi informants and maps of Imperial troop movement around the Mid Rim. But he lingered over the deployment records of a particular clone trooper, designation “CT-9904,” before moving on to other subjects.

Factor didn’t begrudge him any of those searches. They had all left people behind in the Empire, batchmates and other brothers with whom they’d been particularly close. Factor had every intention of performing a couple of discreet searches of his own once he got the terminal to himself.

He’d never ask Tech for details though. They definitely weren’t on that level.

Echo did arrive fairly quickly, but he didn’t come alone. He was flanked by Captain Rex and Commander Tano.

That was a bit much for Factor, who was still intimidated as all kriff by the Commander and the Captain. He backed up to make room for the new arrivals, but he also wasn’t about to let his discomfort chase him away from seeing their new project’s test flight.

“I’m not worried about taking a base,” the Captain was saying with a scowl as they all approached. “It’s holding it afterwards that’s the issue. The Empire would rather glass a whole planet from orbit than let it slip from their control. We can’t go up against that kind of firepower.”

Maybe Factor hadn’t seen it in person, but the Reapers had told enough stories around the base that, by now, everyone knew what tended to happen when locals got uppity and thought that banding together and kicking out the five, or ten, or thirty Imperials stationed on their piece-of-nothing backwater planet meant they’d defeated the Empire.

It was never pretty.

“So we find an ally instead of a target,” the Commander said. He gestured vaguely towards the screen. “We fought alongside some of these officers. Some of them were sleemos, but a lot of them weren’t. There have got to be a couple good ones, still in the ranks somewhere.”

Tech sniffed at that. “Not for much longer,” he said, standing up from the workstation to make room for Echo. “The Emperor has been quite efficient at flushing out his political opponents.”

“Well, you’re going to need to give me something,” Echo said, nodding a greeting to Tech and Factor as he took the seat. “Unless you just want me to go on a fishing expedition. But that could take a while.”

That set off a round of speculation, points made and immediately struck down.

Factor kept one ear open, but his mind was elsewhere. It was an interesting puzzle. Numbers were numbers; they didn’t change. But people…People were always the wild cards, and Factor had ended up working with a lot of non-clone, non-Jedi, normal kriffing people in naval intelligence and communications. Probably more than these four ever had, truth be told.

So an officer with no love for the Empire, but who was still, somehow, alive and well in the service…

Factor had seen the inverse of this often enough in his old position. Bad officers – selfish, incompetent, and even malicious ones – who seemed to thrive in the ranks anyway. He’d seen enough of their files to start being able to read between the lines.

“Retracted insubordination complaints,” he said, almost to himself.

The room went abruptly silent.

Factor looked up, finding a room full of eyes pinned on him, including two sets from the highest-ranking officers on the base. Real smooth.

He took a deep breath, because he wasn’t going to quail under the hard looks he was receiving from the Captain and the Commander. He wasn’t.

“Anybody who doesn’t like the Empire, but who’s also survived the purges this long has a protector,” Factor explained, addressing the Captain directly. Between the two officers, he could face a brother, even this brother, more easily than a Jedi, ex- or otherwise. “Maybe a high-ranking mentor, maybe family in the Senate, somebody who has the power and influence to make complaints filed against them disappear.” He’d subconsciously fallen into parade rest, but at least that hid his hands behind his back where he could clench them together without anyone seeing.

Maybe he should have picked the Commander instead, because he could recognize every twist and turn in the Captain’s mental calculations, starting with surprise and ending on sharp speculation. “Your personnel file said you were a computation specialist,” he said, but the leading statement was clearly also a question. And an order.

How the Captain remembered them all was anyone’s guess, but he seemed to have the name and service record of every clone on the base memorized. It was still disconcerting, being the target of that knowledge.

“I was,” Factor said, feeling more than a little defensive. “Somebody had to keep the spooks’ networks up and running.”

The Captain closed his eyes and rubbed them, forehead knitted.

Factor was expecting something scathing to come out of his mouth, but instead the Commander cut in, sounding amused. “And we’ve had you updating the life support systems?”

“The old life support system was a Hutt’s breakfast,” he said sharply. In fact, that had been an absolute nightmare piece of work, and he didn’t appreciate the effort he’d put into it being belittled. Then he remembered who he was addressing and felt himself pale a little. “Uh, sir,” he amended, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow him.

He was saved from whatever her response might have been by Tech, who drew everyone’s attention by making a sound like someone stepping on a tooka.

From the look of things, Echo had poked Tech in the ribs, in the narrow gap between the cuirass and plackart, with the flat blade of his scomp link.

An entire conversation passed in charged silence between the two clones. Tech looked indignant and threatening, eyes narrowed dangerously behind his tinted goggles, while Echo looked like he was moments away from bursting into laughter, his unnaturally pale, gaunt features pulled even tauter with the effort of it.

“If you’re quite done,” Tech finally hissed. “Maybe you could run the search Factorial suggested.”

Echo swiveled his chair to face the Captain, who had been watching them both with an amused, if long-suffering, expression of his own. After receiving a deceptively casual ‘be my guest’ gesture, Echo spun back around and leaned forward slightly, plugging his cybernetic arm into the scomp jack socket.

Factor had no idea what was going on, but he wasn’t exactly upset that the entire exchange had pulled some of the heat away from him.

Echo’s pupils dilated far beyond normal limits, and his eyes started to flick back and forth rapidly, like he was reading something beyond the now incomprehensible jumble of symbols appearing on the monitor’s screen. “Let’s see what we’ve got to work with,” he said to himself.

The whole process was fascinating, in a terrible kind of way. The way gossip spread around the base, most everyone knew that Echo’s cyborg status was basically the result of Separatists not liking the fact that they couldn’t torture intelligence out of the captured ARC trooper. So, they had turned to technological methods instead. Factor wanted to ask him… oh, all sorts of things. How did it feel to be able to dive into all of that information directly? What did it look like? Or was sight not the right descriptor, despite the twitching eye movements?

Did it hurt?

But those lines of questioning were pretty kriffing personal and therefore absolutely none of Factor’s business. So he held his tongue and just watched.

“Looks like we should have done this seven months ago,” Echo said distractedly.

The Commander leaned forward, obviously trying to make sense of the parade of text and symbols across the screen. “Why seven months?” she asked, resting her hand on Echo’s shoulder right above the juncture of his prosthesis.

“Because we would have had a lot more options,” he said, eye movement pausing for a moment as several death certificates appeared on the screen. “A bunch of speeder accidents, some unsolved muggings, one incident involving catastrophic cabin decompression in hard vacuum. That’s an awful lot of convenient accidents, and that’s not even including the unexpected cardiac events.”

The Commander frowned, eyes darkening.

The screen switched back to its previous indecipherable state, and Echo’s eyes were moving again. “Do you want ships and space stations included, or only planetary installations?” he asked.

“Just planets and moons, for now,” the Commander said.

The Captain, hovering behind them both, added, “And exclude anywhere in the Inner Core.”

“Already assumed that,” Echo said, and then he pointed to the unused ports on the terminal with his organic hand. “Tech, hook up your datapad. I’ll send you the most promising ones of the lot.”

Tech didn’t have to be told twice. As soon as he connected the hard line from the terminal to his datapad, a similar pattern of jumbled text took over his screen as well. He didn’t look terribly concerned about it, though. Factor assumed that was just normal, or at least normal for Echo.

Were those his actual thoughts the computer was trying to translate? It definitely wasn’t anything like the coding you found in droids, even the most advanced artificial intelligence units.

Nope, none of this was Factor’s business. He needed to stay on task.

“You’re good to unplug, Tech,” Echo said without turning his head. “Anything else, while I’m still in here?”

“Are there any Imperial records about this base?” the Captain asked.

Factor wasn’t exactly surprised to hear his own question echoed by the Captain. It was the obvious security question anyone would have.

Tech, on the other hand, looked like he wanted very badly to butt in. For once though, he managed to restrain himself and let Echo do his work.

Not that it took long.

“Nothing significant,” he said, head cocked to one side. “Just a couple notes about Death Watch activity in the system. But we’re in the Mandalorian sector, so that doesn’t exactly set off any alarms. There just isn’t anything out this far that’s of any interest. Probably why they chose it in the first place.”

“Tech, could you share those files with us?” the Commander said, framing it as a question instead of an order.

“Already done,” Tech said, nose buried in his datapad. “You will find them waiting for you the next time you log into your personal terminals.”

“I think you’ve given us enough reading for one night, Echo,” the Captain said, and the Commander gave Echo’s shoulder one last squeeze before releasing him and taking a step back.

When Echo disengaged his arm from the socket, the screen flickered back to something more legible. But there were lines of code present that hadn’t been there before. Lots of lines. Factor found himself leaning closer to get a better look while Echo tilted his head from side to side, stretching his neck until something inside – impossible to tell if it was a joint or circuitry – popped softly.

The code was downright interesting.

“You know, Factorial,” Echo said with a touch of dry humor. “I’ll give you the chair if you’ll just let me out of it.”

Factor abruptly realized that he’d kriffing near crawled over Echo to get at the screen. He pulled back, embarrassed by the lapse, and started to apologize. But, Echo was already standing up, brushing aside the stuttered words with a dry, “I live with Tech, I’m used to it.”

“I hardly think that’s–“ Tech started to say, but Echo just eyed him and interrupted.

“Are you telling me the two of you aren’t going to spend the next six hours reading back through my code?” Echo asked. Now it was Tech’s turn to look a little embarrassed. Echo glanced over his shoulder at Factor and continued, “And forget to eat? And complain if we drag you away long enough to force some calories down your throats?”

Factor rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Yeah, guilty as charged.

Echo clapped Tech on the shoulder. “I’ll comm at 19:00 if we haven’t seen you by then,” he said. Then he began eeling his way out of the ring of observers. “Nice not having to squat in the floor,” Echo muttered to himself, rolling his shoulder above the prosthesis. He nodded towards the Captain and Commander in an obvious invitation for the three of them to step aside.

Factor could tell from the shuttered expression on the Captain’s face and the way the Commander’s shoulders tensed that whatever this was about, it was personal. He looked back at Tech, trying not to pry, and found him already leaning against the side of the desk rivetted to his datapad. He’d lay credits to caf Tech had already copied the lines of code from the main workstation to his screen.

Factor wasn’t about to turn down the chair, since Tech surprisingly wasn’t already monopolizing it. He sat down and started scrolling back up the lines of text until he found something familiar and then started to read.

It didn’t take very long before he stumbled over something that made his brain want to melt. “What the kriff?” he said to himself, leaning forward as if proximity would make the code more comprehensible.

Tech shifted, glancing up at Factor’s screen, and after a moment said, “It’s a logical paradox.”

No kidding. If any computer tried to actually run that dormant chunk of code, surrounded as it was with garbled nonsense, it’d get stuck cycling through it.

But… Echo wasn’t a computer, no matter how he interfaced with them. He wouldn’t get hung up in this kind of an infinite loop.

“That’s smart,” Factor said, not that he had any idea how to deploy something similar himself without the system he was using also getting stuck in the trap.

“As best as we can tell, that’s how Echo’s desire to not get caught slicing into a system translates,” Tech shrugged. “That’s the only way he’s been able to describe the process, and with everyone responsible for his condition being dead, we don’t exactly have anyone else we can ask.”

“All of them?” Factor asked, before realizing that the question was probably tactless.

“Every single one of them,” Tech said flatly. “We made absolutely sure.”

So, definitely tactless then. At least Echo wasn’t in hearing distance at the moment. “I’m, uh… I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking back at the screen awkwardly.

“Why? It is the obvious question.”

Force, it was like talking to a droid sometimes. “They tortured him,” Factor said quietly, not knowing how else to put it.

“Yes,” Tech said distractedly, eyes focused on his datapad. “We weighed the hypothetical value of the potential intelligence they were carrying. But…” and then he paused, looking behind Factor to where Echo was still talking with the two officers. “It was Echo.” Tech said these words with finality, as if they explained it all. “Besides, now they can’t do the same to anyone else,” he added after a moment of silence. “Ever, ever again.”

Tech was usually so relentlessly logical that it was weird hearing him speak this way. It was a side of him Factor hadn’t been expecting.

Then again, they were also discussing what clearly must have been a series of off-the-books, premeditated murders. Was it bad that Factor fully understood that, too?

“Good,” Factor finally said, when the silence had stretched out long enough to get a little uncomfortable.

Tech, who was reading through the code again, made an indistinct noise of agreement in the back of his throat, seemingly unfazed by the entire exchange.

“Tech, 19:00, food,” Echo called from the back of the room, suggesting that whatever covert conversation he’d been having with the officers had come to an end. “And bring your friend. What do you call him, Factorial?”

Wait, what?

“Stop trying to bait me,” Tech said testily. “You know perfectly well that Hunter said we should work on integrating with the regs for Omega’s benefit.”

Factor swiveled around in his chair to stare at both Tech and Echo, because he could read perfectly well between those lines, too. He just didn’t have the first idea where to start responding.

Echo was wearing a lopsided, conspiratorial grin. But it was the Captain who spoke.

“You’d better start training up someone else on your systems, Factor,” he said with a smile so small and fleeting, Factor almost missed it. “Because it’s clear we’ve been underutilizing you.”

Kriff.

AN: Other chapters are available here

[calliettes-posts]

I think a reason for the low fan engagement for ismails season is because the audience couldn't see what ismail was thinking or feeling, and therefore couldn't theorise what could happen next, to the point where ismail sort of became a secondary character in their own season and was overshadowed by other characters (for example sascha, they spent so much effort to show that he has a crush on ismail, and we can theorise and guess his next steps and actions, and lou aswell, she had more personality than ismail, and I still wonder about her importance now ). Even if it was to show that ismail can't be alone with their thoughts or tries to suppress them, the writers spent too much time and focus on other characters than ismail, and it shows by the fact that the audience (and myself included) talk more about the other characters than ismail. I think they also didn't think about the real time aspect of druck, and therefore sort of abandoned the skam format, several people have pointed out that the season is more enjoyable when you binge-watch it instead of following it live, which is a bit sad because that was one of the things that made skam and the remakes so interesting (for me at least), but I guess they didn't really know how to set it up properly.

[universallywriting]

Angry Steven Essay 1 - Ignoring Your Kids and the Consequences

A lot of people have been wondering why Steven is so angry, and where their sweet baby boy has gone, and I think people are struggling because they don’t understand how little they respected Steven before.

Because I don’t think that Steven has undergone a huge character shift. Admittedly, he’s angry more frequently now, but I don’t think his anger is bigger or more intense or any worse than it’s been at other points in the series. Steven’s feelings haven’t gotten bigger…

But Steven has.

I counted up all the times Steven gets angry in the series, being fairly charitable and not counting more minor moments of annoyance of frustration. I’ve got about 21 moments out of 160 episodes for the original series. Granted, that’s only once every seven episodes, but it’s not insignificant. The idea that Steven never gets angry is factually wrong. 

We see his temper the first time in Steven the Swordfighter, and it’s not a very wholesome look at the boy. He’s frustrated because Pearl is gone and Holo-Pearl isn’t a good replacement. And, already, I bet you’re starting to tune out a little. Because Steven’s being a stupid little kid, isn’t he? Pearl’s coming back. He’s just throwing a tantrum.

Tantrum is the word we give to anger and sadness we don’t respect. It’s a word we use to belittle and ignore children, even when their feelings are justified.

We see something similar in Rose’s Room. He screams at the gems because they ruin the ending of his video game. And, sure that’s a bummer Steven, but it’s just a game. There’s a big space opera out there, so why are you so worried about this? And yeah, you got mad that Greg lied to you in House Guest, but he just wanted to spend time with you. It’s a cute father/son moment, really. Steven is angry, sure, but it’s just kind of pitiful, isn’t it? Poor silly kid. He’s wrapped up in his little concerns when the world is so big and scary.

But you were on his side in Warp Tour. Because he’s right this time, so it’s not a tantrum. And you’re mad at the gems because they’re treating it as a tantrum. But here’s the thing - the gems should never treat him this way. Because so far? Every single one of Steven’s fears and struggles are valid and worthy of respect. Steven isn’t pitching a fit because they brought him a scarlet firetruck and he wanted a cherry firetruck. He’s hurt. That deserves respect and attention and apologies.

In Steven the Swordfighter, he’s struggling because one of his guardians is really hurt. Not only that, but she’s hurt in a way that she can’t talk to him, can’t let him know it’s going to be okay, and in her place is the thing that hurt her. You’ll also note that Amethyst and Garnet are conspicuously absent during all of this, because apparently the boy doesn’t need comfort and care after watching Bird Mom get wasted and spending days hovering over her unhatched egg. Steven is going through all this grief and fear alone.

In Rose’s Room, Steven is denied his chance to spend time with the gems after they promised. They don’t respect or value Steven’s time. Why would they? He’s a child. And clearly he proves his time is worthless by putting so much value in his silly video game he interrupted. What’s the ending of your stupid golf game matter when the plot it rolling along, Steven? Big, important adult things are here. Drop what you’re doing. Ignore your interests. What the gems are doing is more valuable than what you’re doing every single time.

This is a general trend. Warp Tour is the perfect encapsulation of the problem, because it’s finally important enough that Steven fights to be heard. The first thing to remember about this episode is that we, the audience, are placed on Steven’s side because we’ve seen what Steven has seen. We know he’s right. The gems, however, believe what Steven is saying to be impossible. From their perspective, Steven is saying that a masked man broke down their door last night. Be honest - if you knew a kid making that claim and the door was fine, are you going to take it seriously?

The problem in Warp Tour is not that the gems don’t believe him. It’s reasonable not to. The problem is the way they react to it. Amethyst groans and complains about how long it’s taking to make Steven feel better, making him feel like a burden. Pearl aggressively confronts him with evidence, treating him like they’re in a debate and he needs to be proven wrong. That makes him feel stupid, belittled and ignored. Garnet says that it’s important to make Steven feel secure, but even that is condescending and quietly insists that Steven is being irrational.

Even at the end, Garnet is the only one who even slightly makes amends, saying she should have listened to him while also not apologizing. Pearl and Amethyst don’t make amends at all. But do you know who does say sorry four times? Steven. Steven has been taught and continues to be taught that his feelings are secondary. The things in his life that are important aren’t really important compared to the serious grown up issues. 

The lack of apologies are consistent. In Keystone Motel, Ruby and Sapphire realize Steven is upset and make up with each other, but don’t make up with Steven. Don’t apologize to Steven. In Maximum Capacity, Amethyst never apologizes to Steven for shapeshifting into his dead mom. (Which, always and forever - What the hell, Ame?)

The gems brushed off these feelings and due to that, I think a lot of the audience did too. But the gems do occasionally ask Steven what’s wrong, and he shuts them down.

So why does he do that? Why doesn’t he work it out? Because they spent his entire life ignoring his problems, disregarding his fears, not knowing what’s important to him. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Gemcation and how the stuff with Connie was Steven repressing his trauma over space and… no. It’s not. It’s really, really not. It’s yet another example of how the gems (and the fandom) ignore the things that matter to Steven in favor of what they think he should care about, and it comes down to this one extremely painful moment.

Garnet: Steven, I know what’s troubling you.

Steven: You do? (huge relieved smile) Gosh. I really messed up, didn’t I?

He’s so, so excited for someone to understand him. He’s so thrilled for someone to understand what’s wrong, and value his problems and his life. And what happens? Garnet talks about Pink Diamond. He’s crushed again.The most important thing to Steven is his relationships with other people, his friends. Literally his entire problem solving method is to go make more friends. He’s not worried about getting hurt or how scary Homeworld is, he’s scared that his family is going to stop loving him because of the mistakes he made.

But the gems don’t take the time to understand what Steven truly values. They don’t take the time to respect his interests. They don’t take the time to know him. And we’re still seeing that. They don’t understand what movies he likes. They don’t understand how his taste in food has changed. They don’t realize he’s been a vegetarian for a month. That’s not a little change. And, what’s more, that’s a value. That’s something extremely important, a sacrifice you decide to make because you think it’s a big deal.

And the gems don’t know.

So why would he talk to them? If someone was so uninterested in my life they couldn’t figure out I’d been a vegetarian for a month, I wouldn’t be opening up about my deepest problems. And when have they ever guessed a problem right? When have they ever taken an interest in things that matter to him? When have they ever told him that his human half is just as valuable, that he deserves to do whatever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be the son of Pink Diamond and can actually just be Steven?

But why bother when you can just cheer him up with s’mores and camping and Dogcopter, right? Steven doesn’t get angry! Our precious baby boy pouts. He throws some tantrums. The only time his anger matters is in Warp Tour, because he’s right about these big adult things. Steven is a child and he is small and cute and funny and his voice cracks when he shouts. It’s funny, isn’t it? He’s just a little kid. Little boys get angry and they scream and they holler about stupid things, and who cares, right?

Until one day they’re not so little anymore.

And now it doesn’t seem so funny, does it? Now it’s kind of scary. Now, the little kid that you rolled your eyes at and ignored the emotions of is big. He’s got a deep voice. He’s got broad shoulders. When he screams at you, it’s not something to roll your eyes over. It’s kind of terrifying now, isn’t it? Because there’s real power in that bigger body, and even the lizard part of your brain at the base of your spinal chord knows that. There’s a real, destructive power when he screams, and you have to listen.

The gems still think he’s a kid, and the audience is starting to realize he’s not. And the audience is already scared of what a kid as angry as Steven, with no coping mechanisms, is going to look like as a grown man.

It’s really easy to ignore a little boy with a weak grasp of his strength. It’s a lot harder to ignore a man whose screams shake your house down.

Value your kid’s feelings. They’re going to be grown some day. And what’s more? They’re people. Their feelings mattered all along. Steven’s feelings mattered all along. 

The only thing that’s changed is that you can’t call it cute anymore.

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic). 

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them. 

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal. 

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops) 

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is  lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed  he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown. 

XXI - 7.  Illusion powers  (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites. 

[kyotarou]

practicality

Inspired by @iwaixiumi-main on Tumblr! (using your quirk for the first time headcanons)

characters: katsuki bakugou

plot: you’ve only used your quirk in front of your friends for fun little tricks, but never at its full potential. your classmates witness this for the first time when katuski bakugou hits a nerve.

warnings: swearing, angst, dedgration (not sexual), kind of a fluffy ending

word count: 1.5k+

a/n: i apologize for making kirishima the secondary love interest that gets thrown away at the end for the second time 💀💀 i promise i’ll write smt just for him 😩

Your Quirk: You have the ability to control any water around you. When under your control, the water can become as strong as iron (you determine the strength). The downside: the more you use, the heavier it feels—use too much and you could injure yourself from the weight (possibly even crushing yourself).

   Your classmates had seen your Quirk in action many times before, mainly for fun, but never during combat. You knew water wasn’t accessible in every situation, so you stuck with fist to fist action. After exam season, it surprised you to find your name on the list of students with top scores, especially on the combat portion since you barely used your Quirk. Nevertheless, a large weight was lifted from your shoulders.

     Denki and Kirishima invited all of Class 1-A to the beach to celebrate. You brought your bag inside one of the stalls, taking your sweet time to change. It was the weekend, after all, no need to rush. Worn out from exams, you planned on using the day to relax, unlike your classmates who buzzed with energy. Your plan was foiled when Kirishima caught you tiptoeing out the changing stall, hoping no one would spot you.

     “Hey hey hey, (Y/N)!” Kirishima slung his arm around your shoulders. “You ready to hit the waves with us? Maybe you can finally show us your Quirk!”

     You shook your head with a small laugh. “Come on, Kiri, you’ve seen it before.”

     Kirishima led you towards the shore. “Yeah, yeah, but I wanna see how manly it can be!”

     You pushed him off with another laugh which turned into a scream when he shoved you into the water. “Oh, you are not getting away with that!” 

     As Kirishima tried to run, tendrils of water wrapped around his ankles, keeping him grounded. He tried using his Quirk to escape, but you were stronger. You and Kiri spent the next few minutes stuck in a splash battle, which gained the attention of the others. Though you wanted good old-fashioned fun without your Quirk, the rest of the class encouraged you to show your best tricks, and their jubilant faces made it hard to refuse. You sent waves crashing at their feet to see who could run away the fastest, played volleyball with a bubble of water with Uraraka, and even swam out to the deeper parts of the beach with Kiri who was starstruck when you created air bubbles around your heads, letting you safely view the fish that swam by. 

     On the shore, Bakugou watched with steam coming out his ears. He gritted his teeth as you and Kirishima sat beside him at the picnic table, Kiri’s arm wrapped around your shivering body as the sun began to set. Jealousy nipped at his skin like harsh bug bites.

   Why should I give a fuck? Not like I’m into them or anything.

   But he knew damn well he wanted it to be his arms around you and the one to brush the wet hair out of your face instead of stupid Kiri. He glared at you and the red-haired boy, him feeding you a piece of sushi like a baby.

     “Brrr, the airplane’s coming, open wide!”

     “Dammit, Kiri! Just give it to me already.”

     You twirled your finger and a stream of water flew into Kiri’s nose. Bakugou rolled his eyes as you doubled over in laughter, chin resting in his palm.

     “Tch, couldn’t use your Quirk for something useful?”

     You shrugged. “I’d say this is pretty useful.” You stuffed a piece of sushi from Kiri’s plate into your mouth as he wiped the snot from his face.

     “You’re an idiot. Just cause you can do cool shit with it doesn’t make you the shit.”

     You gave Bakugou an awkward smile, who kept his eyes glued to the table. The rest of the class went quiet. His taunts were usually followed by a scoff or chuckle, but his voice was sharp and cold.

     “Never said I was. Not my fault everyone thinks it’s cool, right guys?” Your classmates chimed in agreement. 

     Bakugou snorted. “So why didn’t you use it during exams? Why don’t you use it for something better than shitty party tricks? Don’t you want to be a hero? How can you do that when you’re too afraid to use it against a real opponent?”

     “I-I’m not afraid!” Your cheeks burned with the anger bubbling in your stomach. “It’s just not practical!”

     “Not practical, my ass. Admit it, dumbass, you bribed your way up the class rankings, didn’t you?” 

     Kiri looked between the two of you nervously. “H-Hey man, I think that’s enough. Let’s all calm down and have some fun, alright?”

     “Shut up, Kiri! This isn’t about you!” Bakugou snarled. What the hell was he saying? Even if he refused to acknowledge his feelings, you were his crush—he let his mouth talk without thinking and there was no going back. He was letting his explosive attitude get the best of him and part of him felt relieved to blow off some steam.

     The table shook as you shot out of your seat, your clenched fists shaking at your sides and furious tears streaming down your face. 

     “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

     The class murmured as ocean water climbed slowly up the sand, dangerously close to where they set up the barbecue. “You know I studied so hard for those exams. Don’t you remember all those nights I spent awake in the middle of the night? Shitty party tricks, is that all I am to you?”

     The water rose like a cape above your shoulders, casting a dark shadow over your wrathful face. Your arms trembled under the weight, but the adrenaline ignored the pain. Kiri scurried from the table, leaving Bakugou to stare at the ominous wave blocking the last of the sun’s golden rays from view. It truly did look like an iron wall, so close to crashing down and crushing him underneath. Bakugou set off an explosion as the wave stopped inches from his neck in the shape of a spear, the tip sharp enough to slice his skin.

     “Is this practical enough for you?” you sobbed. You sank to your knees and covered your tear stricken face. The water retreated to the ocean, leaving everyone untouched, except the poor table, now charred from Bakugou’s hand. Sniffling, you snatched your bag from the sand and excused yourself before slamming the door of the changing stall. After getting dressed, you declined Uraraka and Deku’s offer to accompany you to Heights Alliance. With the mood now sour, Class-1A packed and cleaned the area before heading home in tense silence. 

     Bakugou couldn’t sleep that night. He stared at the ceiling with a frown, hands clasped together on his stomach. He cared about you so much, but he let his stupid jealousy consume him. Now, you would probably be angry with him for the rest of your life, and Bakugou couldn’t live with that. Seeing you walk away with your head down and wiping your tears shattered his heart. You were the one for him and he fucked it up like he always did.

   He jumped from his bed with a pounding heart. He slipped on his shoes, which were on the wrong feet, and left his dorm.

     What the hell am I doing? 

     Bakugou pounded on your door. He couldn’t care less if the whole building woke up—he had to see you. He was never one to share his feelings, but with you in mind at that moment, there was nothing more he wanted to do. Bakugou pounded on your door again, tempted to blow it down if you didn’t wake up. To his surprise, you answered with a scowl and puffy eyes. 

   “What the fuck do you want?”

     You swore your ribs almost caved in when his strong, muscular arms wrapped around your body fervently. Bakugou kept his hand on your head as he nuzzled his nose into your hair, inhaling your sweet, comforting scent.

     “I’m sorry…” he murmured. His grip tightened when you tried to push him off.

     “Is that all you have to say?” you hissed. Your voice shook at the foreign feeling of his warmth, making you wonder if it was someone else disguised as him.

     “No, it’s not.” Bakugou cupped your face with both hands, heart beating a mile a minute as he stared into your eyes. “I like you id- (Y/N). I’ve always liked you, and I’m sorry.”

     You were paralyzed. Bakugou’s calloused thumb brushed a stray tear you didn’t even know had fallen from your face. Your mouth hung open in disbelief.

     He… likes me?

     His words from earlier rushed back into your head. You tried to shake off his grasp. “What a great fucking way to show that.”

     “I know, I know. I didn’t mean any of it, you have to believe me. I was just… I was jealous, okay? I was fucking jealous of you and Kiri getting all buddy-buddy, and I said shit I shouldn’t have said.” Your eyes widened as he placed a tentative kiss between your brows. “You’re more than a party trick; you’re everything to me. And I can’t live with the idea of you hating me, cause I like you too much to handle that. Hell, I might even love you.”

     Your lip quivered at the sudden rush of emotions. You clung to the front of his shirt and pressed his face against his shoulder. “Do you really mean that?”

     “Hell yeah, I do. I-”

     You cut him off with a gentle kiss to the lips. “I like you, too, Katsuki. But what you said…”

     “You don’t have to forgive me right now. But you’re my world, my little teddy bear, and I just want to hold you. Is that too much to ask?”

     You shook your head. “It’s never too much to ask.”

[theballadoffinchesandsaints]

Let’s talk about the Vaincre trade:

(As I am writing this, only the first full chapter, July, has been published)

I’ve said before that I’m fairly certain it’s going to be Leo, but I want to walk through the thought process that got me there (this is long and unedited. You’ve been warned).

First, since this is going to be such a major plot point, I think it’s going to be a character who’s inner circle had at least a minor spotlight in the first chapter. These were Coops, O’knutzy, O’darwin, Thomas & Noelle (do they have a ship name???), Regulus (tho he’s obviously disqualified for not being a pro player rn), and Cole (with a bit of Dumo).

Additionally, I think a key component of this plotline will be developing characters so that they can stand on their own once separated from a crucial relationship (thematically, it makes the most sense to me).

With that in mind, let’s do some quick (yeah lol prob not quick) disqualifications from the list:

Remus: I know this is a more common theory (and god would it hurt) but Remus’ storyline is already jampacked with living up to the standards of the league, team, and public, as well as adjust to a new relationship dynamic with Sirius. On a more heavy note, Remus will have to navigate how playing hockey will interact with the trauma of Greyback’s attack and the resulting injury. I’m sure most of us inferred that this would be a plot point, but the idea was solidified in a snippet of Remus and the team discussing predictions for the top teams of the season.

Sirius: while narratively, I actually think it would be fascinating to see the lions learn to be a team without their leader and to see Sirius have to learn that there are other parts of the world he can trust, this one falls apart in both logistics and clues Hazel has already given us. Truly, I cannot imagine a trade in which it would make sense for the Lions to give up their beloved, talented, effective captain and first line center, especially after he just led them to Stanley Cup. And when someone asked Hazel about (I believe) what relationships would be highlighted in Vaincre, Coops made the list with the qualification that their storyline would largely center around Remus’s adjustment to the team. A Sirius trade requires long-distance Coops angst which, while possible, would be both difficult and against the spirit of the statement.

O’Darwin and Thomas & Noelle already have long-distance angst happening in July, so trading either Kasey or Thomas would miss some of the emotional punch we know Hazel is going to give us.

Cole: I mean, the kid’s a rookie. It doesn’t really make sense. Threads seem to be being set up with the Dumais’ baby sitter and maybe one of the new PTs? (I don’t remember exactly where I’m getting this from, but I’m near certain it was from Hazel’s tumblr). It seems like physical encounters are going to be a big thing with both of these relationships, plus all the obvious great storylines of a new rookie getting comfortable in the team, make it unlikely Cole will be the trade. Not to mention, there are no guts to punch with Cole. We love him already, but he isn’t close with anyone on the team yet. We’d feel disappointed, not devastated, if he got traded. We all know Hazel’s going for devastation.

Dumo: this one approaches probability for me. Dumo would be heartbreaking for every member of the team, but especially Sirius and Logan. It would also sort of follow through on a previous idea from a rough draft of SW where Dumo has a career-ending injury. All the players would have to learn to navigate life without a father figure, and it would break down the system of where many Lions rookies live. But this one’s all speculation, at least as far as I know. It’s not hinted at in July, and I can’t think of any snippets that suggest Dumo. Plus, it feels like all of the main POVs have been set up in July, and we know from the dreaded “of being a lion” snippet (in which said player gets called about the trade) that we do get POV chapters from the player who’s traded.

We’ll get back to O’knutzy later. First, some people who aren’t on the list that I feel are worth discussing briefly (tho these are unlikely for the reasons at the end of Dumo’s):

Kuny & Nado: Now, I remember Kuny’s “no trades, no trades” thing from Hazel’s tumblr. It hurts. It feels like foreshadowing. But, remember, Hazel has also said that these boys will both play a more secondary role in Vaincre. They’re both safe.

James: I go back and forth on this one all the time. Thematically, separating Sirius and James would be both heartbreaking and deeply interesting. James was a major force in bringing Sirius out of his shell, and Sirius would have to learn to maintain that without his best friend always by his side. James and Lily are also suspiciously absent from July. I know Hazel said they’re on their honeymoon, and I’m not disputing that in any way, shape, or form. However, it does provide ample excuse to become a new POV in August. However, I can’t find any snippets to really support it. And, just, in general, James as a character in Hazel’s fics (or at least in Solntse and SW) provides a stable backbone for the other characters. He’a developed as a character but stable and happy. This could be the thing that changes that, but, at the very least, it doesn’t fit the narrative role he serves in SW, and I think it would change the feel and character dynamic of the fic as a whole (not just of the team) too much for that to be the choice.

And then there’s O’knutzy:

Going into Vaincre, I asked myself: what are everyone’s plotlines going to be? Remus will adjust to the team and playing Greyback. Sirius will largely be his support system, tho some stuff may be done with his relationship with Regulus and/or moving on from any semblance of his parents’ influence. Dumo will welcome rookie Cole onto the team. James will be a new father. Thomas and Noelle will have long-distance relationship feels. Kasey will adjust to O’darwin, and probably also deal with his reoccurring injury.

And the cubs? Are in a happy, stable relationship with everything they’ve ever wanted. The seeds to a storyline regarding whether or not they choose to come out was definitely hinted at in July, but I don’t think it will be their sole focus. Thankfully, there is nothing pressuring them to come out currently. They think about it. They long to do it. But nothing has changed since the end of SW/CtC. If one of them was long-distance, that would change the dynamic. When you can always go home to your two loving boyfriends, it doesn’t hurt quite as bad when you can’t be affectionate when out with them in public. When you’re only in the same city for a day or two roughly every month (depending on which team the trade is with), every second you could spend holding them and don’t hurts more and more. Whether I think they choose to come out or not, I really don’t know. I think so, but I’m definitely not sure. But the real question is, which cub goes away and prompts this?

If it’s a cub, it’s definitely Leo. Hazel posted a snippet that just...says so much.

Do I even need to explain? She practically told us. I’ve spent over an hour analyzing nearly every prominent Lion when Hazel practically told us Leo was going to be the trade with this right here.

But I do have more to say. I don’t think either Finn or Logan would work well as the trade. The plot of them being separated was well explored in CtC, and I honestly just don’t think it needs more examination. They learned to cherish each other, talk to each other, love each other freely and honestly. Them being separated again would just hurt. It wouldn’t serve a narrative purpose.

On the other hand, I do think Leo’s character could actually benefit from some time alone. He had barely a few months as a full-blown adult, working in the NHL, before he entered a committed relationship with his two lovely boyfriends, both of whom had had years more time to live with and explore themselves (tho it’s not as if they were doing that freely). A couple of months or even years dating long-distance could force Leo to have some more adventures on his own and come into himself more. Then, he can fully return to his boys, his “long-lost lover[s],” and be more stable in his love.

In a similar vein, Logan and Finn have only had short amounts of time to make their leg of the relationship stable and happy in comparison to the time they spent yearning or heartbroken. Even in CtC, their reflex is to go to Leo first, which is, of course, perfectly fine and lovely and adorable, but I think they need to spend some time unlearning that knee jerk reaction.

Then, when Leo comes back (because one way or another, in canon or in my head, he will), all three are confident in themselves as individuals and in each leg of the relationship as well as the three of them as group. No one and no couple n e e d s anything, but they come back together because they all love each other, more than anything.

That’s what I think will see in Vaincre. At the very least, it’s what I want.

Vaincre is by the one and only @lumosinlove

[im-an-anxious-wreck]

A Very Lonely 23rd

AO3 link

Prompt from @nightashes: Remus and Roman have a complicated sibling relationship. Despite this, every year they still try to have a small Christmas celebration, just the two of them. A time to put aside all their differences and remember what it means to be brothers, and all the pros and cons that that entails. (or creativitwins may have their issues but they are still brothers and they still love each other and this is their attempt to show that).

Warnings: feelings of abandonment, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, Remus asks if Logan and Virgil are going to make out, Remus makes a poop joke, cursing

Perspective/main character: Remus

Side/secondary characters: Janus, Roman

Appear: Patton, Virgil, Logan

Mentioned: Thomas

Romantic relationship(s): pre-analogical (Virgil/Logan)

Platonic relationship(s): creativitwins (Remus & Roman), dukeceit (Remus & Janus)

Word Count: 3,660

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

-

Remus and Roman didn't get along by any stretch of the imagination — or in any stretch of the Imagination, for that matter.

Remus was always loud, lewd, and getting into things he shouldn't be, making him rather like a hyperactive child with the reach and knowledge of an adult.

And Roman, in contrast, was stiff, righteous, and, in Remus' opinion, thought too much of himself.

So, when they were in the same room —Remus spouting whatever random gross nonsense that came to mind, and Roman trying to ignore him/loudly drown him out— everyone could see the sparks fly.

They just didn't get along.

But despite all that… despite how much they may fight the rest of the year, they always, always spent the 23rd —or 'Christmas Eve Eve' as Remus called it— together, no exceptions.

No matter what, no matter how much they'd been jerks to each other the day before, no matter what Roman had planned with his famILY on the 24th and 25th, the 23rd was their day. The whole Mindscape, both Light and Dark knew that, even when no one wanted to have anything to do with the other side of the Mindscape, no one dared to get in between the twins on that day.

Patton tried once, and once alone. That had been… an interesting Christmas, and it was one they'd never forget. Unsurprisingly enough, no one ever made that mistake again.

They'd always had it. They'd never once missed it… so where the hell was Roman?

It was already nine am! Roman was there no later than seven.

Honestly, Remus' patience had lasted way longer than like, ever before, but it was quickly running thin. If this had been any other day of the year, Remus would've already busted Roman's door down to see what the hold up was.

But he wouldn't. At least not yet.

Roman would be there, no matter what, he would. He'd promised that they'd always spend the 23rd together. Roman wouldn't just abandon Remus.

He'd promised.

… 

Roman was a big fucking liar. A real fucking asshat of a bitching dickhead shitass jerk.

It was officially 12:01, which was certainly in the afternoon. Remus had rather restlessly, but very patiently been waiting all morning, and Roman couldn't even be bothered to show up.

If he wanted to cancel, he could've at least left a fucking note, but noooo, apparently he just couldn't be bothered. 

Well, fine. If Roman didn't want to show up, then Remus would just have to have an extra great day without him.

He would watch a movie, or make cookies, but they just… felt too wrong. They were stuff he'd be doing right then with Roman if it was any other 23rd. But just not this one. That was fine. (It was definitely not fine. Remus bitterly thought as his heart sank a bit in his chest.)

Maybe… maybe the activities wouldn't hurt so much if he found someone to do them with him. Yeah! He'd just have to find someone who could stand him enough for an afternoon. Easy peasy… except… even Roman hadn't wanted to show up. This was their one guaranteed day a year, and he couldn't even be bothered to explain.

But, at the very least, Remus could ask around.

Remus walked into the kitchen where Patton was gathering ingredients. "Whatcha doing, Patty?"

"Oh! Hey, Remus. Just uh… gonna bake a bit."

"Ooh, fun! Whatcha making? Can I bake with you? I promise I'll only add the crickets to my bowl!"

"Uhh… well, usually that'd be fine… but well, it's a super boring recipe, so I really don't think you'd be interested, and I already promised I'd let Roman help and I think he wanted some time just the two of us… so, um… yeah."

Oh. Oh. Remus saw how it was. Roman really didn't want to hang out today. He'd made plans with Patton, and while Patton hadn't always been the best at dealing with Remus, he still tried to include him. They'd found a few work-arounds and Remus had really thought that Patton would want to bake with him.

Well, there were plenty of other people Remus could ask. That was… that was fine.

"Okay!" Remus exclaimed with an enthusiasm he didn't feel. "Don't let Roman burn himself, or do! I don't care. Have fun!"

"Oh, uh, okay! I won't let him, uh… sorry again, kiddo."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'll just go bother someone else."

Patton frowned. "You aren't bothering me. I'm just a bit busy right now. That's all."

Remus just hummed non-commentally as he walked away, heart feeling like it'd sunken a few more inches in his chest.

…

Remus knew that Virgil was always stressed out this close to Christmas, and so he wouldn't be doing much of anything. He might even welcome a distraction.

"Heya, Virgin! What art thou doing this fine afternoon?"

Virgil lowered his headphones to down around his neck and raised an eyebrow. "Uhh… hi. I'm busy with Logan… why?"

Remus cocked his head to the side. "You don't look like you're busy with Logan."

"You asked what I was doing this afternoon? I'm not busy right this very second, but Logan's coming over at any minute."

"Oh, uh… what're y'all gonna do? Make out?"

"What? No! We're just… gonna do stuff."

"Ooh, what stuff? Like make out?"

Virgil huffed. "No, I just said we're not making out. I'm not sure what exactly we're gonna do, that's all."

Remus didn't get a chance to reply as a knock rang through Virgil's room.

"Virgil? May I come in?" Logan asked.

"Yeah! Come in."

Logan shut the door behind himself and raised an eyebrow at Remus. "Oh, um… hello." Logan not so subtly clutched his large brown paper bag closer to himself. "What brings you here, Remus?"

Remus really didn't like the brief, but worried look Logan shot Virgil. Geez, he just wasn't popular today, he couldn't help but note as his heart sank even farther.

Well… at least there was someone else he could ask, even if his list had grown rather short, rather fast.

"Well, I'll let you two love birds get to it."

"We're not—" Virgil was cut off by Remus.

"Anyway! Have fun, use protection!"

Virgil buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god."

"What? I'm just sayin'!"

When in doubt —or when there were emotions that Remus would really rather people not see— disgust them out.

"Anyway," Virgil said. "Why don't you go bother Jan?"

"Yep! That's what I'm just leaving to go do."

"Have a pleasant afternoon, Remus," Logan said with a slight inclination of his head.

Remus highly doubted that he could at this point, but it was the thought that counted, he supposed.

"Bye, Remus."

"Bye, White-And-Nerdy! Bye, Virgin!"

Maybe Janus would be better… Hopefully Janus would be better. Hopefully, if Remus' luck somehow turned around, Janus would still want to have something to do with Remus.

Remus could swear that his heart sank down a bit farther as he sank out. 

… 

Remus rose up in the Dark Side's living room. "Heya, Janny." God, he sounded tired. Hell, he was tired.

"Ah, Remus. I was just looking for you."

"You were? Well, whatever it is, I didn't do it."

Janus chuckled. "No, not like that. You haven't done anything… this time… that I know of anyway."

"And let's keep it that way!"

"Oh dear," Janus said, not sounding very concerned. "Should I be worried?"

"Eh… who's to say."

"...Well, that certainly doesn't help your case."

"True, true… oh, hey, you wanna do something?" Remus tried to keep the desperation out of his voice. He wasn't so sure he succeeded. "Or are you busy?"

"No, I'm not busy."

"You wanna do something then? I mean, you don't have to… but I mean…"

Janus' eyebrows pinched in concern. "That's why I was looking for you. I thought it might be nice if we did something together. Perhaps in the dark side's Mindscape? We could…"

"Watch a movie?"

"Exactly! There are several movies I've been meaning to see, and what better time and place than here with my best friend?"

Remus wasn't going to cry. He didn't usually get his feelings out through crying… but being called Janus' best friend, and so casually too… he was very close to it. "I'm… I'm your best friend?"

Janus frowned. "What? Of course you are," Janus said it so matter of fact that Remus could swear his heart grew three sizes just like the Grinch's. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Well, I mean… that makes sense, I guess. It's not like there's been many other options down here since Virgil left."

"What? Remus, you've always been my best friend. Virgil also was and may even be again in the future, but that doesn't negate the fact that you are my best friend. I don't spend time with you because I feel obligated or because there's no one else; I hang out with you because I want to, because I enjoy your company, because you're you."

"Oh, well, shit." Remus sniffed. "Damn Bitch, you serious?"

Janus' expression could only be described as soft and comforting. "I am, Remus. I'm so fucking serious. You're my best friend and I love you so fucking much."

"Well, damn. I fucking love you so much too, bitch."

"Now, would you like to snuggle, eat popcorn, and watch The Incredibles?"

"Hell yeah I would! A good snack, a great movie, and an awesome best friend is a very good way to spend the bit of afternoon left! Maybe then after supper you could pick out a movie for us to watch?"

"That's what I thought too."

Remus giggled. "Maybe we should also watch the second Incredibles."

"You hate that movie, and besides, you'll give Thomas nightmares aga— ohh, I see. That's the point."

Remus grinned. "You know it! It's so creepy and awful, so it's the perfect thing to torment Thomas with!"

"What am I going to do with you?" Janus rhetorically asked, shaking his head.

…

They'd only gotten halfway through the movie when Patton rose up, and Janus paused the movie, an eyebrow raised.

"What is it, Patton?"

"Um…" Patton glanced nervously at Remus. "Could you, uh, help me with… a thing?"

Geez, it wasn't like Remus was going to bite Patton… unless he asked, anyway.

Janus gave Patton an unimpressed look. "A thing… right, okay. Yeah, I'll help."

"Oh, good! Thanks, Janus."

Remus almost rolled his eyes. "I know I'm disgusting, but I could help too, if ya want."

"Oh!" Patton's eyes all but bugged out of his eye sockets. "You really don't need to do that, kiddo! I just need to grab Janus for a second, so you should just stay here… yeah."

Remus actually did roll his eyes this time. "Just say you don't want me around, geez. It's not like I would be offended. Trust me, I've met myself."

"No! I didn't mean it like that." Patton frowned, eyebrows furrowing. "I just meant…"

Janus smoothly cut in, "There's no point the both of us going when Patton just needs one person. Right, Patton?"

"Yeah! Exactly. And… Janus had… volunteered! Yeah, he um, had said he'd help before."

Honestly, it was quite pathetic how obvious Patton was lying, and Remus could tell that Janus also knew it was obvious, if his sympathetic look he shot Remus was anything to go with.

"It shouldn't take us too long. I'll be back in a bit, Remus."

" 'Kay. Have fun or whatever."

… 

Really, especially with how today was going, Remus should've known that Janus wouldn't be back soon. It'd been an entire hour! What the hell were they doing that would or even could take so long?

Remus was just doomed to be alone today, that was it, wasn't it? No one wanted to be around him. Well, maybe Janus would come back to finish the movie later… maybe.

Well, it was almost supper time, so maybe if Remus did a really, really good job making supper then Janus would stick around for the rest of the evening… maybe. Hopefully.

Remus sighed before going to the kitchen and beginning to pull out ingredients for super.

…

Now Remus had, in the past, had plenty of bad days in his lifetime. The most obvious being the two spilts —first the spilt of Creativity, and soon after the split of the Light and Dark Sides—, but he'd also had way too many anxious, overstimulated, and lonely days than he'd prefer. And all of that wasn't even including all the looks of disgust and dismissive comments — although they had lessened recently, even if only because they ignored him as per Logan's suggestion.

He had very many bad days and memories, so really he should be used to days sucking… and yet, here today was, being the third worst day of his life and yet it had somehow completely blindsided him.

Janus didn't end up showing up until after Remus had put away supper, and Remus, feeling petty yet justified, didn't bother to tell him about the leftovers in the fridge.

"Did you want to finish the rest of the movie now?" Janus asked.

"Nah, I think I'll just go to bed." Remus knew how out of character he sounded, but he just wanted this horrible, awful day to end.

He just hoped tomorrow would be different.

"Oh." Janus frowned. "Alright, sleep well. I hope tomorrow goes well for you."

"Thanks, me too… Oh, and sleep well. Don't let the bedbugs bite, or do, I don't know your life," Remus joked, but his heart just wasn't in it.

-

Remus almost didn't get out of bed that day, perfectly content to just feel shitty and mope under the covers all day, but a knock interrupted his self-pity party.

"Remus?" Roman called. "Aren't you awake yet? You're usually waiting on me, not the other way 'round."

"Oh, now you want to talk to me. Sure. I see how it is," Remus mumbled into his pillow, before raising his voice, "Yeah?"

"What do you mean now? Oh, well… I know I was really busy yesterday, but it was for a good reason, you'll see."

"A good reason?" Remus lifted his head to glare at the door. "A good reason?! Get in here so I can kick your ass."

Roman opened the door, a confused and worried look on his face. "If yo—"

"No!" Remus' lethargicness had given way to anger, and oh boy, was there a lot of it. "A good reason? Really?! What could possibly be more important than our day!? Our one fucking day when you don't hate me!" Remus' eyes widened in surprise. 

Curse his impulsive and uncontrollable mouth! Usually he just said whatever came to mind, but this time he really hadn't wanted Roman to know that.

Roman's eyebrows furrowed. "H… hate you?"

"Er… I mean… I meant— fuck!" And as soon as it'd come, his anger drained out of him. "Well, damn. I— yeah. It's not like it's much of a secret. I know you hate me, it's whatever."

"You…" Roman sniffed. "You think I hate you? Wh— why do you think that?"

"Well… it's kinda obvious, isn't it? I absolutely disgust you, even when I try so hard not to; when you're not insulting me, you're just completely ignoring me. It's… hard. I know how annoying, and clingy, and gross I can be —trust me, I know; I have to live with me— but you can just tell me to my face! If you want me to go away, just tell me, okay? I can't read minds."

"Bu— but I don't want you to go away!"

"Could've fooled me! I— it's… it's okay if you do want me to leave though. I know how awful I can be."

"No! I don't want you to leave! I'm not going to just abandon you… not again. Not ever again. 

"Do you know how many times I've had to stop myself from being overly caring towards you? Way too many times. And for what? I thought you wanted space and to get away from me, and maybe you did for a while, but I now see that was not the case. And even if it was, I should've asked, instead of just assuming I knew what you wanted.

"Same with… I mean, I thought… I never realised that you thought— I never meant to mock you— okay, maybe in the past, but not recently! I was just teasing you, well, I thought I was just teasing you, but I… teasing isn't fun or just teasing when only one person is laughing. I should've picked up on your discomfort and stopped to explain, and then of course stop if you said you didn't want me to tease you. I'm so sorry, Remus. I— I'm gonna do better though, I promise."

"Oh… I just— but… but then why were you a no show yesterday?"

"Yesterday? The 22nd?"

"The… the 22nd? Yesterday was the 22nd!?"

"Yeah? It was, that's why I was busy. I was getting everything ready for today. I know you've been feeling extra shitty lately so I wanted to make sure it was extra awesome! That's why I needed everyone's help yesterday. We were all getting stuff prepared."

"Oh, fuck. Well, now I feel absolutely ridiculous. I'm so fucking stupid. I— fuck, that's so sweet and here I've just been a complete asshat."

Roman sat down on the bed next to Remus. "No, you aren't a complete asshat! You just got the days mixed up —which is so easy to do, sometimes I have to ask Logan what day it is or put an 'X' over that day on my calendar when it's over—, and then you thought that I'd just abandoned you and everyone else was too busy to hang out with you, which given the data you had…" Roman frowned and bit his lower lip before continuing, "Was unfortunately a rather reasonable conclusion. This is… this is on both of us."

"I��� ...Okay," Remus softly whispered as he reached out and grabbed Roman's hand, running his thumbs over it. "Well actually, since it's on both and neither of us… wanna blame it on Sir Flops-a-lot?" Remus thought fondly of their red and green stuffed dragon.

Roman snorted before attempting to school his face into a pouty expression. "Hey! You always wanna blame our problems on him!"

"But it works so well! He doesn't mind, I asked him!"

"That doesn't count though," Roman said, coming very close to whining.

"...Sir Flops-a-lot says it counts."

"No! That doesn't work. He's always super biased towards you when you talk for him!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "As if you don't do the same thing."

"Uh… Anyway!"

Remus snorted before letting the silence take over again. "...Hey, Ro?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. Really. I didn't…" Remus looked down to stare at where he was still cluching Roman's hand. "I didn't want you to hate so I'm… I'm really glad you don't."

"And I'm so sorry that you thought that!" Roman exclaimed, accenting his sentence with a squeeze of their hands. "I— I've really failed you as a brother."

"Hmm… maybe a bit, but so have I. Neither of us properly communicated our thoughts and feelings and so it's on both of us. All we can do it try and do better moving forward. That's all any of us can really do."

Roman huffed. "Since when did you get so wise?"

"Well, you see, when we split you took all the stupid with you…"

"Well, that's certainly not true," Roman said while trying to stifle his giggles.

"Okay, okay, one time I ate an entire jar of Logan's 'Logan's Berry' Crofter's and it gave me super smarts! I see why he likes it."

Roman's laughter filled the room merrily. "I knew there was a reason he hoarded it like gold!" Roman joked. "Such a selfish bastard as he!"

"Yes. Because that's definitely why he hoards it… we should steal some!"

"I don't know… is this gonna be like Home Alone? Because no way do I want any of that to happen to me."

"Relax! They were dumbasses, we could do a much better job. Ooh, speaking of which, we should have Thomas watch that movie again!"

"Nooo," Roman whined. "Last time he watched it you gave him nightmares about being hurt like that."

Remus huffed. "No one appreciates art around here, but fine," Remus jokingly relented. "It just gives me such wonderful, horrible, mangled ideas is all!" Remus' voice dropped to just above a whisper, "I don't mean to freak Thomas out though… well, most of the time anyway."

"I know you don't, and I… I see how hard you're trying. You've come up with some really good ideas, I'm proud of you."

"Well, shit, Ro!" Remus exclaimed in hope of ignoring the stinging in his eyes. "I didn't know we were gonna get so sappy today or I woulda made sure to remember to put my heart in my chest today! I always take it out when I'm sleeping."

"I… can't tell if you're joking or not, and honestly, I don't wanna know."

Remus giggled. "Fair enough."

"...You wanna hear what I have planned for today?"

Remus was all but bouncing in excitement. "Does a dung beetle like dung!"

…

After a breakfast with all their favourite breakfast foods and a big snowball fight in the Imagination, the day had greatly improved, and by the time they'd had lunch, baked cookies, and watched five different movies Remus could firmly say that this was definitely one of the best days of his life.

And finally now, as Remus was tucked under Roman's arm, his head on Roman's shoulder, he knew that there was no better place than by his brother's side.

Roman loved him, and he loved Roman, and really, it didn't get any better than that.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice, and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

[camilliar]

recs for someone new to omgcp

[February 2021.]

Reading, or not reading, OMGCP fics has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had recently with artists newish to the fandom (ie. @jovishark; @decafffff), who are making OMGCP art (!!!) but haven’t started exploring fic -- but maybe want to? Which of course reminded me that I’ve never bothered to make an actual, concrete recs list for this fandom. So, I mean. Here is one.

The approach is, what do I think about when I think about OMGCP fanfic? What comes to mind, what stands out to me? I have excluded some very popular fics. Some of these I just don’t think are very good, and others I do think are good, and/or I enjoy them, but I don’t see why you’d need me, specifically, to recommend them. I am thinking of a story like maybe i’m waking up, which I discuss below because I link to a podfic of it. It has a lot of merits, to be sure, but it’s the second-most-read fic in this fandom by hits, and it’s got thousands of comments, and it’s by an author whose work is relatively widely praised and circulated. I am not sure what telling you more about this fic will add to the conversation; if you want to find and read it, you inevitably will. I’m happy to, say, answer asks about these kinds of fics, or talk more generally about them via DM or whatever. Feel free.

Also, I don’t think there’s a point to pretending to be objective about fanfic; this list has a perspective and that perspective is mine. In this fandom I largely read stories that navigate the tension around Jack, Bitty, and Parse, in various permutations. This is not to say that I’ve never read fic about the frogs, or that I have no interest at all in other pairings, but I am by no means an expert on Dex/Nursey and can really only speak to the one fic about them that sticks out to me because it goes beyond being merely Dex/Nursey and does something else. This is just to say that I am sure there are great and interesting fics about other things and ideas--but I’m not the person to hear about those from.

Likewise, I’m not super interested in stories that really reproduce that which is already in OMGCP. I like Zimbits--albeit maybe not in the ways or for the reasons most fans would--but I do not really need to see endless iterations of the same story about them falling in love and being cute together. I don’t think these stories are bad or they shouldn’t exist or that they have no merit by default. Still, I don’t need fanfic to give me more OMGCP. I need fanfic to complicate, to comment on, and to transform OMGCP. Many people don’t work like this! Totally okay! But I can’t rec you fics that do that.

What I have noticed, however, is that over time there appears to have been a shift in how people do write fic for this fandom. (Other than, you know, increases and decreases in activity pending the status of the comic, pairings going in and out of vogue, and so on.) Early on, say during Y1 and Y2, the comic was about the group of friends having a cool time at college together; about whether the burgeoning attraction between Jack and Bitty would manifest and, if so, how; and, especially, Jack’s past coming into fuller view for Bitty and how it would have to be dealt with in order for a relationship between them to work. YMMV on how great the comic executed there, but as Y3 went on these themes increasingly disappeared from the story. I think this means a lot of fic written over 2015-2016 or 2017 has one kind of tone, and was written mostly around these questions; after that, it feels like a new crop of writers and a new crop of ideas started circulating, that is, either embracing Jack and Bitty’s canon relationship and accepting its relative straightforwardness in text--or deconstructing it, imagining what readers aren’t seeing, or how problems not dealt with in the comic would manifest later. People who have read my fic know which of these I’m mainly interested in exploring.

All of which is to say, looking at what I’m reccing here, when the fics were posted or when I first read them probably has a lot to do with why they stick out to me so much. Because there’s no real culture of fanfic criticism--and I mean that in the positivist sense of broad evaluation not explicitly for fault and merit but rather, for context--I think it’s really hard to keep this in mind. But I’m obnoxious and I can’t just be easy about things.

Fic recs

In alphabetical order, somewhat unsorted; if a stand-alone fic has a summary I’ve included it, but in other cases I’ve recced a couple of conceptually related fics or series, which I’ve tried to just describe or explain as opposed to copying the summary off AO3.

There are so many more fanfics I think are great and worth reading! In an ideal world I’d come back and add more later, or create a secondary list that’s more along the lines of “if you like this, read these,” or whatever. But, being realistic, this is a starter kit. I’m open to talking about fanfic.

- - - - - - - - - - -

7-0-2 by Idday; Friends in Low Places and Sorry for the Blood in Your Mouth; I Wish it was Mine by blue_rocket_frost | I’m not sure it would be correct to say that I don’t like Parse/Tater, or that I’m not interested in Parse/Tater. I’m not interested in Patater a priori; I think it could be interesting, with teeth. These fics stick out to me when I think about this pairing, because they feel different. Accusations of a preference for just linking any two white men who happen to be hanging around have validity, but because of what hockey is and how it works and who’s hanging around it, it’s not exactly a leap to imagine what kind of gritty spark the friction between two closeted NHL players would create. A little violence in your sex? A little sex in your violence.

A Sight Worth Seeing by sadtomato | A four-fic Jack/Bitty/Shitty/Lardo explicit BDSM series. Either you want that or you don’t. It’s nothing hardcore, and not properly a four-way, really; more properly a kind of voyeuristic round-robin. There’s a more open and egalitarian view of sex here than I really get from the characters in the back end of the comic. It’s an expansive, propulsive view of sex and relationships that’s really nice to see. I love Lardo's detached coolness, and Bitty as a smooth operator; if you’re looking for some kind of Dom/sub dynamics world, this really isn’t it, but it’s a lively exploration into the sexual dynamics in a group of friends that’s super close to the good-times vibe you get from Haus scenes in the first couple years of extras.

call me son (one more time) by Summerfrost, Verbyna, and blithelybonny | This is a series, incomplete, and you will love it or be massively put off by it. I mean that as a compliment. I love it. The premise is, Bob Zimmermann and Kent Parson have been having sex since Kent was, like, 19. Everyone in this story has been chewed up: by themselves, by each other, by hockey. Plainly, this is a pretty bleak view of what OMGCP, as a story, is supposedly offering. If you want fic that is dark and glamorous, treading the toxic melange of substance abuse, sex-as-sublimation, and so much money you can’t possibly throw all of it away without trying, this series has that sick-inducing shimmer to it. But, again, its strength is its examination of Kent Parson, textually and meta-textually, as someone to be projected onto. Bob, Alicia, Jack, and Bitty all impute certain feelings of their own onto him, displacing their own issues to a character who’s centralized in every fic but defies neat or total comprehension. Some critiques I’ve read of this series feel it’s too dark, and I’ve also seen it argued on FFA that an overwhelming amount of praise heaped onto these stories has made it tough for other writers to make headway in writing Bob/Kent fic. But I’m also not sure you could engage with Bob/Kent fic without going down this road at some point? I’m sure there are ways to scale it back, but ultimately it’s a story about how hockey’s violent, homophobic, old-guard gatekeeping has continued to set the terms for a younger and ostensibly less toxic culture. I fully embrace PWP fics that tread on the power dynamic without fully excavating it, but buried within any PWP is the fact that a 53-year-old man is ensnaring a 19-year-old, no matter how much the latter is, realistically, into it, and legally empowered to consent. Not to mention the dynamics of it being a 53-year-old man who is the father of the 19-year-old’s ex-boyfriend, and a 53-year-old man who is an eminence grise in the field the 19-year-old is trying to make a career in  The sexual element--the vaguely incestuous nature of it--is making textual the subtext of how hockey works, actually: objectification of teenage bodies as older men’s capital.

Coach Z by thistidalwave | Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, tp prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren't there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey. | I keep reccing this fic because it has 360 comments on AO3 but nobody, as far as I can tell, has ever read it; it never appears on rec lists. This isn’t the kind of fanfic I usually go in for, but I can’t help being charmed by it. This is a character study in the truest sense, a kind of Mighty Ducks-but-better view on what Jack’s time coaching peewee hockey might have been like. I have no interest in kids and my own aesthetic is maybe a little darker than this, but I admire this story because it injects vibrancy into a period of Jack’s life that OMGCP has left largely unexplored, and so has the fandom. We know nothing about what made Jack want to go to college, nothing about how he spent his days in between juniors and Samwell. It posits a very sympathetic and patient Jack/Parse dynamic, showcasing the exact kind of ragged teenage push-and-pull that would have led to the circumstances we see in Parse I-III. The outside perspective Jack needs is largely present in an OFC who’s not a love interest. Super unique, somehow both engrossing and low-key.

#dirtbags by angularmomentum | A series that is a Kent Parson/Claude Giroux fuckfest with feelings. I’ve long suspected that Parse is popular in part because he is the character who most easily elides OMGCP with the actual NHL, or rather, NHL fandom; I think he made it appealing to write OMGCP fics where the NHL is a factor. Case in point, this series, which is basically “what if Kent Parson was a real hockey player and therefore part of NHL RPS”? I have only read some NHL RPS, so I’m not the person to assess accuracy, but what I do know is superstar IRL hockey players take turns here as the caricature fanfic versions of themselves, and since Kent Parson is already that, it’s great how seamlessly he integrates into their social fabric. Rambunctious energy peppered with regret and loss, but ultimately this series is farcical, and it doesn’t take its sentimental ending too seriously--which, good.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible | 5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth. | As a fic format, 5+1 doesn’t usually work for me, but this one isn’t just front-loaded with five too-knowing vignettes; it then wraps up by using its +1 better than you might expect. Sometimes I talk about economy of fic, and this one exemplifies it. A zero-waste fic.

go ahead and move along by originally | "Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again. Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop. | Kent Parson is trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario on the day of Epikegster. I’m sure you can imagine, just from that, what happens. And yet I think this fic is super entertaining, reserving some key surprises. What this story is doing is something a lot, and perhaps even the majority, of great Jack/Parse fic wants to do: digging into the question of just why this can’t work in comic canon. Most often this is approached from the past, by writing teenage Jack/Parse deep-dives that examine their lives mid-juniors, or by writing AUs where enough circumstances are shifted that it does work, or via future fics that posit enough growth has happened, and enough things have changed. But this fic makes Parse live the same bad day again and again, testing multiple theories about just how dependent on circumstance and incident real life actually is. Another day, another tone, 10 minutes sooner, not at all--you just can’t know why it didn’t work until you exhaust every possible variable. I worry that this rec has sucked the life out of the story, though--it’s so fun!

I Saw a Life and Strange Lovers by @bluegrasshole | Most AUs in this fandom seem to retell the story in a new setting or with some big detail change, following OMGCP’s rhythm beat-for-beat. I think of this as, “It’s the plot of Check, Please, but” -- they’re doing high school football? They’re acrobats? They’re a/b/o? They’re in a DIY punk band? And so on. These two stories are not that! They’re both 1950s AUs, each deeply felt, and yet hugely different from each other. I Saw a Life is about displacement and fragmentation, two sides of a similar but incongruent social critique; Strange Lovers is a finely wrought social drama about coal mining in Nova Scotia in the 1950s, centered around historical events. I suppose a theme on this rec list is something like, “I don’t even like this, but” -- yes, okay, I don’t even like Dex/Nursey, but--! This fic is so overwhelmingly complete, the AU laid out so carefully that the story breathes with all the background details informing the writing that aren’t actually, in the story; you just know they’re below the surface. (With the exception of one investigation of Jack’s character in a short, separate fic.) I Saw a Life, meanwhile, really tests the limits of the notion that Jack and Bitty are soulmates--not by calling it into question but by asking, rather innovatively, how the setting and place of the comic itself activates that.

Les Hivers de mon enfance by staranise | What do you do when hockey is the language of prayer for your soul, and also the toxic thing that almost killed you? 2009: Jack Zimmermann takes a mental health year. God knows he needs it. | Here’s a fic by someone who’s no longer around so much, but she felt ubiquitous in 2016-2019 OMGCP fandom. Before any of that, though, she wrote this one lovely fic about Jack’s pre-Samwell recovery. The author is Canadian and really irritated by hockey culture, and I think this fic benefits greatly because she is clear-eyed about Jack’s being caught in an exploitative system; it’s hockey he’s in recovery for, in a way. There’s an epistolary element that works for me, too. I read this early on in my time in OMGCP fandom and it really stuck with me.

Lysistrata? I Hardly Know Her! (by which I mean everything) by @tomatowrites | It feels somehow like cheating to recommend OMGCP fanfics by my OMGCP BFF with whom I make an OMGCP podcast where we talk about OMGCP. You know the fics I really want to rec, like truly the ones that speak to some kind of shared depravity, are the ones where Jack is miserably mpreg for the second time and accidentally lets his kid see Kent Parson’s Long John Silver’s shrimp scampi promo spot, which obviously would get twisted into a self-hating three-way. How many times do I have to rec this fic? As many as I need to, is my feeling. If you don’t know, Long John Silver’s is an American fast-food chain that sells, like, fried pollock sandwiches; it is nautical-themed; I have never eaten there; I don’t know where there is one; I don’t eat fried fish. (Shrimp, on the other hand?) All of which is to say that it takes a real genius to investigate a premise that far out. And while a lot of people almost certainly will start reading this humanity’s depths-themed sex scene and back the fuck out, readers with refined taste will note that Kent, the point-of-view character, is right there with you, despairing that he can’t help himself. And so long as you’re in that story collection, honestly, you’ll love petite gems like Jack is transmasc, Jack and Shitty play hockey in 18th-century England, and oh, right, he’s from Georgia. Tomato holds the distinction of being probably the gamest author I know in this fandom, just really like fearless in her pursuit of any range of concept she’s pushed to. (I can push her to?) See, for example, a sublime bandom AU; Bitty is cancelled for buying a maybe-unethically exported Roman fragment of a youth’s torso; or, god, the masterwork that is this future fic series where Jack keeps relapsing and Bitty exiles him to their guesthouse. Do I think you need to read a fic where Bitty is snide about the teen prostitute whose baby they’re adopting? Yes, I mean, he would be snide, don’t tell me he wouldn’t. I could go on, but my main thing here is, if I have to pick just one, I’m going to pick this Lysistrata fic. The premise, literally, is that Bitty reads the Lysistrata and it gives him ideas. Like most of Tomato’s OMGCP fic, it’s a stripping away of the comic’s polite fiction that Jack and Bitty could possibly attain the ideal it reaches in the comic without some kind of messy, efflusive breakdown. Life is like that, you see! Tricky. Like a lot of people, although it’s tough to say precisely how many, I have always intuited that maybe Bitty is kind of a natural top? But obviously when you meet him, as a literal virgin, it’s hard to see how he’d go from zero to self-actualization so neatly. This fic floats a theory, and it has a fun little side plot for Whiskey, something I never thought about or needed before Tomato built it out herein. In conclusion, BONUS: Dex’s gay lobster novel.

only fools rush in and the light of all lights by decinq | This person wrote of the nature of the wound, one of the early, formative Jack/Bitty fics that was oft-recced when I was getting into the fandom in 2016. It forms part of a larger series that deals deeply with how Jack has been shaped by his struggles (? I hate this word) with homophobia and his own mental health. It’s a picture of the character as you might have imagined him much earlier in the comic’s run. The formatting is atrocious and he author’s flair is what Tomato would call “AO3 house style.” It’s a voice that works great for her writing. I think it’s at its best in these shorter fics; the former is about Parse and Shitty stumbling into a relationship almost accidentally; the latter, an eerie PBJ vampire fic. I had begun writing a fic where Parse is a vampire early on in this fandom, only to read this and immediately quit, because you only need one, and this one’s all I need. The Parse/Shitty rare pair fic shares its exuberance with hockey RPS when it’s good: here’s how fun it can be when you’re young, rich, and jocular. And I don’t even like accidental marriage AUs, they’re usually boring, so that says a lot. By all means, read the wound fic; read the entire series. But these are highly unusual.

OVERDOSE and Oomph and a little spin-o-rama by jedusaur | None of these are long, or plotty, and they’re all a little experimental. OVERDOSE is an AU set in a world where you know how you’ll die, but no details; Oomph, a little fic where Jack hears hockey pucks talking to him. This is the kind of stuff I used to think I’d find in fandom forever, coming out of Lotrips lurking in the 2000s: short, zany bursts of energy that surprise and delight. a little spin-o-rama peers at Kent’s character through the grim reality of being the hypertalented superstar stuck on a dead-last team. All three are sparse and stylish in a way that’s really smart, practically economical.

Sowing Season by @agrossunderstatement | Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. Kent Parson's life, from the Q, through his early years with the Aces, to Jack's senior year. Canon divergent. A story of love, loss, moving on, regressing, hockey, and found families of all kinds. | Effectively a novel, digging into Kent’s personal history, mostly concerning his life in juniors but expanding into his present, overlapping with the plot of OMGCP. I think there is room enough for endless speculations on what went down pre-canon; this one offers a fuller life for Kent than nearly any others, digging into him as a whole person rather than as a satellite to Jack or the plot of the comic. Which isn’t to say that the Kent/Jack stuff isn’t dealt with here; it explicitly is. But the fact of Kent Parson’s life, if we can begin to imagine it beyond mere text, would exist before, after, and alongside Jack; he gets to juniors without Jack, presumably, and he is the captain of a hockey team without Jack, and Pinkerton lays the foundation of Parse’s character within a junior hockey that Jack also inhabits, more so that Parse existing for Jack, so to speak. And I’m not implying this latter tactic is wrong; I have certainly employed it, and others have employed it to great impact and effect. But, still, the title of this series tells you what you ought to know: Kent and his story are the potentiality of OMGCP, up to a point; seeds being planted. Young hockey players, similarly. The question implied there is, what will be reaped? And the answer to the latter, in a sense, that reaping is a sort of violence. Which makes this series sound pretty heavy, but it’s not -- more like, realistic.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife by @queerofcups | The biggest problem with pretending that he doesn’t know that Kent Parson is fucking his husband is that Jack can’t tell Kent how grateful he is. | The ne plus ultra of PBJ triangulation; I’ve been squealing to the writer about how good it is since August, begging for behind-the-scenes insights, and I’d only do that if I really meant it. The precarious social fabric stretched across these three chapters is fraying before the reader’s eyes. The details are delicious, and I don’t want to spoil them, but they sing in chorus with the plot. My favorite OMGCP fics, honestly, remove the romance narrative guardrails that keep things in the comic itself humming along. I think Dann’s take is to ask who in this comic has power and what they would end up doing with it. (Or not doing, from another angle.) At one point, early on in its telling, OMGCP looked like it was going to be a story dealing with the compounded traumas of hockey’s discontents. Then, of course, it wasn’t. This is a fic that steps back and asks what the fallout of that oversight would be. But that’s just the moldering core of this fanfic; it’s actually embroidered, like I said, with glittering detail. The color of the suit Bitty wears to his wedding is burned into my brain. The gray manicure of a woman Jack knows. The ingredients in a cake. This is one of those fics I still haven’t reviewed because the thought of stacking everything I could say about it into mere AO3 comments is inadequate.

when you’re ready by megancrtr | The Aces’ director of communications gets the call at 3:13 a.m. Jack Zimmermann has withdrawn from the draft. | “What happened at the draft” is so mythological it gets asked in the comic proper, and I’ve never counted how many fics attempt to answer this question--from Kent’s point of view, even--but it’s gotta be, oh, hundreds. This story replays the situation from the perspective of an Aces staffer who just wants to do her job, and gets at the jarring discordance between the plot of OMGCP in its quest for social justice and the business of actual hockey. Important context is that this story was written around the time the comic was playing out the end of Y3 and start of Y4, and Bitty pointedly asked Jack the question, “why can’t we?” This story reframes the question as literal, rather than rhetorical. A sterling example of fanfic being a gloss on its source.

BONUS, podfics

hockeyed up | There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey. | A fic read aloud by its French-Canadian author. Also a relatively early OMGCP fanfic; composed while the first semester of Y2 was posting, the story suggests a version of OMGCP that was in some ways more and in other ways less complex than what it would turn into not long after. The real power of this podfic, however, is that it’s read by the writer, so you can hear the intended emphasis in every line. Also, because she’s French-Canadian, Sophie’s intonation is what I picture when I read or write dialogue for Jack.

maybe i’m waking up | It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.) | Don’t get too excited; this isn’t finished. A podfic of probably the best-known, most-recced fic in OMGCP fandom. Striking for its use of metatext woven into the story, this is one of several early longform Jack/Bitty fics that posits that maybe Jack has a lot more development to undergo before he can really, truly, be okay--or be okay enough to be with Bitty? To be honest, this story strikes me now as too long, but the parts in it that work are effective beyond that which fanfic demands. Meanwhile, this audio version only covers six chapters, but it’s so slick, so well-realized, so true to the story. Podfic as art.

my own dear friends | Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.) | There’s previous little Jack/Shitty in this fandom and a lot less quality BDSM,

the city’s ours until the fall | Kent has been, historically, good at this—forgetting about things until suddenly he doesn’t, and then it’s like the scar has never been there in the first place, just the wound. (Or: Kent Parson lets himself be happy, after all this time.) | I’ve never read this fic and I never will. I cannot imagine how, no matter how good it is, it could compare to the version that lives in my head, with Kent’s voice so totally realized. Vocal fry and pathos, a languid energy that I still think about when I think about Parse.

the model home | It’s going to be better, and that’s great, but sometimes Jack thinks, why can’t it be good right now? | j/k j/k, this is a self-reminder to finally one day review this.

[dansantcaparet]

In 1997, it was obvious to me that Cloud loved Aerith more than Tifa.

Not until I went online all these years later did I discover (shockingly) that the American FFVII fanbase had been purposely misled by egotistical, pompous, self-righteous nerd boys (who now have egg on their face in-light of the Remake). 

If you notice, Cloti’s have been working double-time since the Remake came out. Why is that? Well, it’s because the Remake is confirming what we have always known since the OG: despite technically being a love triangle, SE wanted most gamers to play their first playthrough the Clerith way. Aerith automatically starts off with more love points than Tifa, and the Clerith date is the “normally occurring” date. 

Clerith is the “normally occurring” couple. 

So why did Cloti’s decide to launch a campaign to delegitimize Clerith? And how did they do it? 

When FFVII first came out in 1997, many western gamers didn’t understand Aerith. She was (literally) foreign to them. Japanese animation was still very niche back then.

Though the Japanese adored Aerith’s spunky personality & pink dress (and saw her as the obvious romantic interest for Cloud), many men in the United States thought her hair was “ugly,” and that her personality was “annoying.” Far too “anime” for their taste. They preferred Tifa — the loyal, more American looking childhood friend — the “girl-next-door.” Plus, her big boobs didn’t hurt, either.

Of course, since FFVII inherently revolves around a love triangle, there is an OPTION to play it the Tifa way.

However, as a kid in 1997, I never saw Tifa as a threat. I saw her as the secondary, optional way to play the game. The girl you would pick on your second playthrough.  

When you consider...

Official Yoshitaka Amano artwork depicting Cloud x Aerith

Beginning love point totals (you have to make counterintuitive choices to catch Tifa up to Aerith’s automatic 1st place position)

The non-optional bodyguard agreement

The “normally” occurring CxA Gold Saucer date

Numerous flirtatious moments & obvious hints

Tifa’s constant jealousy

Promised Land scene non-optionally occurring *AFTER* the inherently variable Highwind scene

Frequent CxA cameos

Aerith being the first & last image we see in the entire game

…it is clear Tifa never held a candle to Aerith as the heroine, or as the primary love interest for Cloud.  

To put it simply — Aerith was created first by SE. Tifa was created second. Aerith is the primary love interest. Tifa is the secondary love interest. Obvious common sense.

Unfortunately, fueled by their unyielding, irrational hatred of all things Aerith, they successfully sold the myth (for years) that Cloud x Tifa is the official canon couple of FFVII, thereby brainwashing the entire American fandom against Cloud x Aerith.

They reduced & twisted Cloud’s “undying” love for Aerith as “guilt.”

Saying that even though Cloud chooses to live in Aerith’s Church, has his heart broken every time he visits her grave, reconnects with her in Flower Fields (and cameos), and seeks to find her in the Promised Land, it is somehow all due to guilt over the death of a mere friend. Saying that anything romantic shown in the OG is all a result of Zack (ie: attempted delegitimization).

I guess the symbolism of Cloud’s continued love for Aerith, and all the nuances that entails, is too cultured & sophisticated for them to comprehend. Or maybe they are purposely not comprehending the obvious?

Thankfully, the Japanese understand what all of this means. So why don’t western fans?

The only logical conclusion is because of their deep, burning, irrational hatred of Aerith as a character. Always minimizing & downplaying her role as the first & true heroine & love interest to Cloud.

But now, with the Remake perfecting Aerith’s look & personality, and making it crystal clear that these are Cloud’s REAL feelings, and that Aerith wants to move FORWARD from Zack, you are now seeing a significant swing within the fandom towards Cloud x Aerith.

The myth has finally been exposed & debunked. 

Due to this, Cloti’s are currently working double-time to try to convince us that their ship is a “slow-burn.” 

Sadly, the other side has spent years using Crisis Core & Advent Children to their advantage by manipulating & brainwashing those new to the FFVII fanbase. Pretending as if Disc 1 of the OG never happened. Saying Crisis Core makes Zerith canon, and Advent Children makes Cloti canon. Simple & easy for the masses to understand, right? 

So how, exactly, did they convince millions to believe their great myth?

1. Cloud & Aerith only liked each other because of Zack.  Response:

The relationship between Zack & Aerith in CC is officially described as a minor infatuation between two juveniles, much like Cloud’s childhood crush on Tifa.  

In the OG, Aerith says her and Zack were NEVER serious, that their relationship is “in the past now,” and that he probably moved on to someone else because he’s a “real lady’s man.”  

On the “normally occurring” CxA Gold Saucer date, Aerith confirms that although she initially liked Cloud because of Zack, she has grown to like Cloud for Cloud.

Within the lifestream, Aerith tells Zack that she prefers Cloud’s personality over his, and that she will only call Zack if she gets “really lonely.”

In the Remake, Aerith states she wants to move FORWARD with her life in regards to Zack.

In official sources, Aerith is stated as saying she loves Cloud MORE than Zack.

Cloud is stated to be Aerith’s “koibito” (“lover” in Japanese).  

Yes — Cloud adopted some memories & mannerisms from Zack, but he never transformed 100% into Zack.

It is a myth that Cloud & Aerith’s love is null-and-void because of Zack. CC is a retcon.  Don’t let them use Zack to erase Clerith. 

2. Tifa wins by default due to being alive.

Response:

Tifa winning by default due to being alive is why the other side hopes to god Aerith doesn’t live in the Remake.

You may personally prefer Tifa, but in the OG, Cloud himself clearly prefers Aerith over Tifa, and the other side knows it (just look at the Shinra jail cell moment). When Tifa observes Cloud and Aerith falling in love, she flips out in a jealous rage. 

Tifa only has a chance once Aerith is out of the picture. If Aerith lives, it is all but over for Tifa. 

Even in death, Cloud has an “undying” love for Aerith that will never go away. Tifa knows this to be true and is stated to be jealous of Cloud’s continued feelings for Aerith.

In the AC credits, Tactics cameo, and the Dissidia cameo, it is clear Cloud still wants to meet and be with Aerith in the Promised Land. Denying the common sense symbolism of this is a sign of someone who has a deep-rooted bias against Aerith.    

Furthermore, Cloud and Tifa are in an established “family of friends,” share zero romantic moments, have tons of continued jealousy, fighting, and sleep in separate rooms. Plus, Barret returns to living with them in DoC. Tifa is never upgraded to anything beyond “childhood friend.” 

Cloud & Tifa only have the possibility of being a thing if Aerith is out of the picture. Aerith is #1. Tifa is #2. The other side better pray to god Aerith doesn’t live in the Remake.  

And even if Aerith dies, Cloud & Aerith will always remain a tragic star-crossed love story where Cloud forever wants to meet her in the Promised Land. Tifa’s continued jealousy confirms this to be true.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Still thinking about the near-universal Mediocre Critical Consensus on Trust. Because when I find something I LOVE and someone else just...doesn’t connect with it, I get really curious as to why.

I’m giving the critics who only got to screen the first three episodes a pass, because the show really does not lead with its most compelling material, and also that’s a dumb way to ask critics to provide an honest review of a serialized story and networks should stop doing it.

But there are a number of critics who were writing week-by-week summaries (including the guy who complained about the Calabrian characters speaking too much Calabrese, but not only him) who just seemed to completely miss so much of what made the show interesting. And I can’t help wondering how much of this was due to a disconnect between how they expected the story to be told and how it actually was told.

All the criticism I read is blending together a bit now, but there was more than one reviewer who seemed...unduly fixated on Fletcher Chase. And, hey, don’t get me wrong here. Brendan Fraser is great in that role. But he’s a secondary character. And while he’s a useful narrator and tone-setter, other than in episode 2, where he incorrectly ascertains that the kidnapping is a hoax, he contributes...almost nothing to moving the plot along, in the sense of making choices that shape the narrative. In many parts of the show his main role is to be a scene partner for Gail, who is the one shaping the narrative a lot of the time she’s on screen.

And the thing is, you can see a more conventionally-told version of the story where Fletcher Chase is the hero. He’s the closest the story gets to a cop character, the traditional POV character of many crime stories. (He’s the character who gets played by Mark Wahlberg in the movie, and I mean that in both a symbolic and literal sense.) A lot of kidnapping/missing person stories place the audience identification and agency with the searchers/rescuers, not the victim, and certainly not the kidnapper. The searchers may be law enforcement or they may be family members, but we’re very used to seeing the story from their perspective.

Trust doesn’t completely flip that POV, but it distributes our attention and the narrative agency (whose decisions make the plot happen) much more evenly between Gail, Little Paul, and Primo. And this means that we end up understanding their perspectives and motivations pretty much equally, even when they’re set against each other.

To be fair, it is a bit of a slow burn to understand exactly what the show is doing. For me, watching it the first time through, it clicked somewhere around episode 4, which has a lot of scenes with Primo pursuing a goal on his own (it may be related to Paul but he’s not sharing a scene with him). This is where you start to understand why Primo is doing what he’s doing, on an emotional/psychological level and not just a financial one, and maybe start to root for him a bit against an uncle who doesn’t seem to have a lot of faith in him. Which is the perfect thing to do before the show completely flips our perspective upside down and makes him the antagonist for all of episode 5. Because we’ve spent time getting to know him a bit, the show can do that without completely breaking our identification with him, even when he is being very scary and a direct threat to our other main character.

Even if it takes you a while to adjust your expectations, the structure of the narrative should be very clear by the end of episode 6, when we have the Meeting of the Two Dons, Salvatore and Old Paul. Because this whole sequence is about showing both how the two families are alike and how the Gettys are just operating on a vastly different scale in terms of power. (It’s a real trick to make an organized crime syndicate look like the underdogs but they manage it.) If you haven’t yet figured out that this is a story about two families and the ways they mirror and echo each other, not just a story about the Gettys, it should be obvious at this point. This is also the sequence where, if you haven’t yet picked up on the fact that this is a show about capitalism and class, you get hit over the head with it in a delightfully unsubtle way.

Then, after pitting Primo against Paul and Gail in episode 5/6, the show realigns them, so that they all have the same hope and fear at the end of episode 7--hoping that the ransom will be delivered, and fearing that it won’t be. Meanwhile we’re watching the other Pauls screw everything up for them. (This might have been, watching the first time through, where I put it together that Primo’s not just...an antagonist who’s appealing to identify with, but not really the antagonist of the series at all. Which is the absolute perfect place to realize this, since episode 8 is all about rooting for him. And which is not something I have seen any mainstream review touch on even though once the whole narrative structure of the series is laid out, it seems incredibly obvious to me.)

Perhaps, like me, you read that review and aside from rolling your eyes at the complaint about having to spend NEARLY AN WHOLE HOUR reading subtitles, you also thought...how in the hell did anyone not find episode 8 unbearably suspenseful?? But the thing is...suspense only works if we care about the characters who are at risk. And the suspense of that episode is entirely driven by worrying about Primo, Leo and Leo’s family. Paul is allllmost incidental to the narrative in episode 8.

Now, y’all know very well by this point that I think the show does a good job of developing the Calabrian characters into three-dimensional human beings who have specificity and vulnerabilities and moments of kindness and interesting relationships to each other, and in allowing us to understand how their world works and why they’re doing what they’re doing. And one of the best things about the show is that it doesn’t just explore the why that gets talked about in a lot of the show’s publicity--why would the richest man in the world not pay a ransom for his grandson?--but it takes on what I think is the much more interesting why. Why did the kidnapping happen at all? What kind of life circumstances make crime and violence an appealing option to someone? And this is where we’re really talking about capitalism and class.

But, if you’re someone who’s not open to or interested in the places the show is leading you to as it unfolds toward its conclusion, then you miss all this. Then episode 8 is boring, because it’s not clear why we need to spend a whole episode with “just” the villains and their problems and their families and their social rituals. Even though episode 8 is an almost perfect mirror of episode 1, when we spend just as much time with the Gettys and their problems and their families and their social rituals. And then you miss why the end of the show is so satisfying, because “he removes kings and he sets up kings” only works if you’re paying attention to both sides of the equation.