#too emotionally attached to the characters to be able to move on from them on short notice

[glamaphonic]

i did this for rick so as promised my personal headcanon on the trajectory of michonne's feelings for rick

the most fun thing for me about this is that even though i would say that michonne is generally quite emotionally astute, it actually takes her way waaaaay longer than rick to be able to recognize what's going on between them

rick and michonne are so similar in terms of the things that drive them, that move them, that are most important to them (as gimple said: they have the same soul) and her entire approach to their relationship is basically tied into the fact that she and rick had inverse experiences at the very beginning of the apocalypse. he set out to find his family and did. whereas michonne had her family and lost them.

so she closes it all down, decides to just go away, but she can't really escape who she is, so she helps andrea. and this starts the recurring pattern in michonne's character arc where she repeatedly comes to these decision points where she has to make a choice between giving in to the nothingness or being herself (someone who is loving, compassionate, a protector) and every time she makes the choice to be true to herself, it invariably leads her to rick and their family

so from the moment they meet in s3 she is also viscerally drawn to him the same way he is to her, and like him there is no way she's in a place to even begin to process this. but she sought him out specifically because she was making that choice, to look for connection and community, and she sees who he is pretty much immediately, and so extends him this profound trust over and over again because who he is, what she sees in him, is fundamentally why she wants to be a part of that community.

in 4a, michonne's trauma has her turned every which way. she's already grown attached to rick and to carl and her reaction to this is to keep one foot out the door; to not be fully present for the community. to try to keep her distance even though while she's away she's still obviously thinking about her grimes boys all the time, i.e. bringing them back gifts, etc. and then the prison falls and it seems to justify her caution.

in 4b, she comes to one of those decision points and when she chooses to seek connection and community, it returns her to rick and carl. in my other post i note that this is where rick claims her as a grimes, but this is also where michonne fully commits. she claims them too. she accepts that they are hers. and of course we all know, and danai has even pointed out, the exact moment michonne fully falls in love with rick, when it clicks somewhere inside of her that it's only ever going to be him. but she's still nowhere near ready to consciously face that.

in 5a and through to 5b, just like rick she's not spending time examining what they've become. it just is. that's her family. they belong to each other.

towards the end of 5b, when rick starts to Realize, michonne doesn't because she instead actively sublimates the fact that she is in love with rick, that she has regained what she lost during the turn, into her general dedication to community. she puts everything into trying to shepherd their community without acknowledging her personal stake. which is what leads us to:

the end of 5b and through 6a during which michonne has to have 3 or 4 different people pretty much say to her face HEY YOU GET THAT YOU’RE MARRIED TO RICK AND RAISING CHILDREN WITH HIM RIGHT? YOU GET THAT BEYOND FOSTERING A COMMUNITY ON A MACRO LEVEL YOU HAVE A WHOLE ASS HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS? YOU GET THAT YOU DESERVE TO EMBRACE THIS THING THAT IS FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY AND LIVE A FULL LIFE?

but that final wall is so hard to get past because that wound is so deep, she has to sit with all of that for a good long while (she's working up to it), and it still takes carl basically openly declaring that she's his mother and rick actually making the move before she finally lets herself see, in that moment, what was already long since there.

and it's just very delicious to me personally that from 4a on rick was hers for the taking, honestly. all she had to do was say the word, but she wasn't ready to take him until that moment on the couch.

[maxphilippa]

i want to make something clear because i think that you guys are being a bit weird about me: i don't think that taco is like. just pure evil. like the whole episode was meant to show how far gone she was and how she sees herself as someone that doesn't have remedy, that can't get any better, so that's why she decides to bring everyone down with her as a result. the point of her song is that she KNOWS that she's terrible, she knows that it is too late for her to fix things, she describes herself as purely evil and feels bad about the damage she caused but that's the thing. she doesn't seek to be a better person, she's very very miserable on the current situation she's in. she thinks that since she's too far gone to fix things with these guys, she might as well be broken forever and ever. but that's not true. she CAN heal. but she can't heal if she keeps herself attached to the show. mepad thinks she can still fix things because he doesn't know the full context of everything, and he does care about her well-being. right now, to mepad, it seems that the best thing for taco would be try to make amends.

but that's the thing. taco isn't ready to make amends. she's scared of facing the people she hurted, she's scared of trying to fix things after she knows that they're beyond broken. she knows that mic and pickle left for a reason, but she's on such a deep spiral that she's still not able to let go. mepad wants to save her and he wants her to be happy, but taco is too emotionally unstable at the moment and the episode showed that. ii is literally breaking her. it is literally making her lose herself and her attachment to it is going to fully make her lose her mind.

taco can't be saved because she doesn't want to be saved. at the moment, that is. she knows that she's a terrible person and ended up hurting others while trying to do something "right", but ultimately what she has done was to bring down a friendship that was just working their way to healing (baseball and suitcase), make everyone feel even worse around eachother, and overall made things messier. and it makes sense. she wanted to do that, but she's too stressed to think properly on what to do know. perhaps she had good intentions, perhaps she did want to make others realize that the game is not good for their mental health, but she's the one that is the most attached to it. taco could've started working on herself since the start of the episode if she really wanted to.

but she didn't. she doesn't think that she can change at all.

and now you might expect me to say something like "and she's right" but that's also not true.

taco CAN change but she has to let go of the game and of everyone in order to forgive herself. she has to let go and to understand that meanwhile it is too late to fix things with everyone, she can start with fixing herself. and she's not going to be alone to do that, mepad is genuinely convinced that she can get better, and she can. but she has to let go of the game and of everyone there to ACTUALLY redeem herself FOR HERSELF. she might not be able to fix things here, but she can always find another place to start over. she'll be loved if she lets herself be loved.

taco needs to understand that. she has to let go and that feeling bad about herself and everything that happened won't fix everything. there are a lot of characters that went through similar moments in the show, and the way they got better as people was because they let go of what was stopping them from healing.

taco needs to let go of ii to heal.

she needs to accept that she can change for the better and move on. and start over. and mepad is her companion now, and he left ii for her.

so... yeah. i really hope taco's arc ends with her finally healing and letting go of the show. that she learns that she doesn't have to punish herself with that. that she moves on and meets new people. that mepad helps her realize that meanwhile it is too late to fix things on ii, it is never too late to start working on yourself after letting go.

[tangyangie]

Hello I hope you are doing well! You can ignore this but I appreciate you for taking the time to read this!

Could you maybe do a Denki kaminari and Shinsou Hitoshi as well as Tamaki Amajiki with a Sly Fox best friend? (As in they have a fox tail with fox ears as well)

Other than that everything else could be whatever and you can add your own characters and stuff and make the reader whatever you want like gender neutral and etc! I hope you have a wonderful day!

underhand 🌁

characters. denki kaminari, shinsou hitoshi, + tamaki amajiki

summary. mha boys x gn!reader with fox tail/ears, written as platonic but you can consider it whatever

notes. you wrote sly fox so i'm kinda assuming the personality here... but i hope you enjoy it!!

— d e n k i

you're totally his favorite person ever.

you laugh at him his jokes, you hang out with him, and you're adorable??

he likes watching your tail. mostly when you're happy. he doesn't mean to be creepy, he just enjoys watching it sway side to side...

one time he accidentally shocked you. both your tail and your ears stuck straight up, so you can expect more shocks from him from now on—oopsies.

you put people in funny scenarios together. what do you mean that mistletoe wasn't there earlier? what do mean it's not christmas?? i see the ornaments right there.

you guys basically get all of your ships together. people have become scared of you guys locking someone into a trunk to get them to kiss someone.

one time, he asked you how well you can control your tail. you whacked him in the face, and he fell backwards, with his head leading the fall.

(he was fine. a little emotionally damaged, but fine.)

— s h i n s o u

he's intrigued. he wonders how it works, that's all.

one time, he hypnotized you, and your tail automatically started to move like a ticking clock. it was so funny, he couldn't stop laughing. even after you snapped out of it.

little did you know, not only was your tail moving, but your ears were turning in synchronization with your tail.

shinsou likes to touch your ears. and tail. he doesn't mean it, he's just drawn to it. we already know he's a cat person, and foxes aren't too far off.

he gives really good ear scratches, by the way. one time, you swore you began rolling on the floor because of how nice the scratches felt.

he lets you lay your head in his lap. he finds it relaxing as he feels your tail swing back and forth to the beat in your head.

sometimes you guys accidentally fall asleep on the couch together while watching tv. he awakes to being suffocated by an oddly fluffy rope. attached to your butt.

— t a m a k i

your personalities are like night and day.

he's too scared to even face a crowd, yet you're running around, smiling and screaming.

he likes to hide himself behind you. no matter how short or tall you are. if it's not enough, he'll take your tail to cover himself up even more.

please please please take care of him and make sure nothing you say could come off as insulting!! he'd probably find something else to hide behind.

but, as sly as you are, you guys are a pretty perfect match. he's quiet, but you're able to brighten him up. (mostly when you're alone, though. don't get your hopes up)

one time, he accidentally stepped on your tail. he disappeared for hours.

once you found him, you had to convince him that it was okay for him to come out.

he thinks it's interesting, though. he wondered if he could get a fox tail and ears as well... but decided against it.

because, being his best friend, you'd know how his quirk works. and... you'd have known what he did to get your cute little ears and tail.

notes. i'm so sorry this was kinda short but i totally ran out of ideas for tamaki. i'm really sorry if it's ooc but i racked my brain and this was the best i could do 😭😭

[lackablazeical]

❤️🧸Raph Hamato🧸❤️

Specific Trigger Warnings -

General info -

Harming/physical injury to and by family members, sentient dolls, violence, gore, anger issues, animal cruelty

Specific boundaries w/ this character -

Do not ship Raph unless it is a QPR and you ask for permission.

Raph's birthday is August 8th. He is a Leo ♌️

Raph's love languages are Quality Time and Gifts.

Raph is Aro/Ace.

Raph is autistic.

Personality traits -

Raph is quiet, stoic, easily irritable, violent, creative, thoughtful, humorless, protective, and slow-going.

Raph often prefers to not talk, or keep his responses short and to the point. This is often because he doesn't care to talk for very long, and he has a slower processing time, so he can't add in his own piece until it's already passed.

Raph is extremely easily irritable, mostly by talkative or energetic people, because he finds it annoying and disruptive. He likes his quiet time.

Raph is very creative, and he loves doing small fun projects or DIYs. This also includes decor, sewing, etc.

Raph has very little sense of humor, it's practically impossible to get him to laugh, and even harder to get him to joke back.

Raph is extremely protective of the things and people he loves, and he will guard them with his life. He likes knowing where they are and what they're doing at all times. He may resist his brothers leaving the lair occasionally.

Raph is slow-going, he hates fast-paced things and being rushed. He enjoys taking his time and focusing on all the details.

Important details -

Raph's savage mode -

Raph has a savage mode that is typically triggered by being alone, surprises, or his temper.

Raph's savage mode is extremely dangerous, and this is most likely when he's bound to be violent or lash out. This includes throwing, hitting, biting, etc. Raph does not pull his punches, and can easily snap anyone in half.

This mode will often fade on its own, either by Raph falling asleep/getting knocked out, or being brought back to his senses. Whichever comes first.

Raph has very little memory of these episodes. He's usually able to piece together what happens because his siblings inform him, and because of the destruction that occurred.

Physical touch/comfort is actually a very good way to ground Raph in this situation, but because of the risk involved, that solution is very rarely used.

Mrs. Cuddles -

Mrs. Cuddles was a gift from April to Raph when they were young, because she knew he liked stuffed animals, and she liked the fact the Mrs. Cuddles doll she found gave her bad vibes.

Mrs. Cuddles is sentient, and has a mystic energy signature, like a mystically enchanted item. Think of her like Annabelle or a Weeping Angel. She moves on her own when no one is watching, and always seems to be looking around, or directly at the viewer.

If her body gets damaged, her 'consciousness' returns to the next closest Mrs. Cuddles doll, like Chucky.

Raph is extremely emotionally attached to Cuddles. He has her with him almost all the time, and will get extremely upset and violent if she is lost or damaged. He will force Donnie to fix her, or stitch a new one entirely from scratch.

Raph has an entire collection of Cuddles dolls, both from sales April has bought them in, or custom ones made by Donnie.

Mrs. Cuddles doesn't leave, mostly because she is too powerless to attempt to. She also likely wouldn't be able to make it through the enchanted sewer halls.

His relationship with Big Mama -

Raph does not care about Big Mama, and she does not care about Raph.

They keep to themselves and don't interact much with eachother, Raph often only does interact with her when forced to, often because of Splinter.

Big Mama would enjoy if Raph was a bodyguard for her, but also knows that Raph is stubborn and unpredictable, and would be extremely difficult to control if he went into a rage.

His relationship with Chizu -

Raph and Chizu are close friends.

Raph enjoys that Chizu is not energetic and over-the-top, because he finds it annoying. Chizu likes that Raph is quite thoughtful, and admires his care for his family and love of the simple/small things in life.

They share interests in having deep discussions, as Chizu is patient and gives Raph the time and space he needs to properly mull over questions and think of a response. They also both enjoy tea parties.

Raph also adores how soft Chizu is, and Chizu often lets Raph stroke her ears or something similar when they are together. Raph enjoys when Chizu snuggles with him.

Neither one of them are very social or high energy, and simply enjoy getting to be around eachother and relax in peaceful quiet.

Chizu’s magic is able to quickly and easily calm Raph down/put him to sleep if he is in a rage, so the Hamatos may call her to avoid any extra damage to their lair.

Fun facts -

Raph's favorite food is goat meat, and his favorite drink is milk.

Raph's favorite past times are napping, watching TV, and tea parties.

Raph is extremely good at tying knots. He often uses this to hog-tie his brothers.

Raph has the lowest pain tolerance of his brothers, but the thickest skin.

Raph is the only one of the Hamatos to have given everyone else some type of scar.

Raph absolutely adores decoration and crafts, and he and Splinter enjoy decorating the lair for holidays. He also always makes little cards and such for his siblings, and they all keep every single one (though they'd never admit it).

Raph's favorite animal is bunnies.

Raph HATES surprises. They are a sure-fire way to make him go savage.

Tags including Raph -

#addams! Raph, #addams! Hamatos, #addams! Rizu

[miru667]

How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months

Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂

I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.

I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.

So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.

And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.

Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.

And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.

So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.

But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.

Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!

[neverchecking]

More random thoughts .3.

So, our three good bois… they have all been through a lot in their respective lives.

Cal moved away from his family to serve as a knight to a princess who doesn’t even know how to achieve her full potential yet… and he’s supposed to care, then it all gets ruined in the end anyways… and DIES!

Wild, gone through all of that… awaken 100 YEARS LATER! All of his friends and family are long gone and he’s told to protect and save the princess AGAIN! Mind you the SAME ONE who couldn’t even save him in the end, but somehow saved herself. Yes technically Zelda was able to have others take Wild to the shrine but that doesn’t make it any better. But he tries to get everything back to the way it was and have some peace.. but then…. Of course… she had to explore underneath the castle… SHE JUST HAD TOO!

Sage, with everything that happened. Everything thing that had happened…. Including damn near losing an arm and being corrupted…. It all make sense now. Sage has EVERY RIGHT to be as feral as he is. The rage… the RAGE!! Lost his family, friends, position, his status, his sanity…. And it was all for a princess… WHOES KINGDOM BARELY EXISTS!!! AND SHE TOOK HIS HOUSE! But you want to know what I think? As much as I can see the rage, the anger, and the hate that Sage has kept inside for so long… he honestly just wants to break… he wants to just cry all of the tears that he had kept looked up for so long, hell if you think about it… who’s not to say that Sage hasn’t thought about canceling his subscription from his existence??

I finally understand why he’s so attached to the Reader, not only do they see him as an actual person with feelings, they don’t judge him for it. They understand just how much this poor cupcake has went through… and all Sage wants is to hold them and cry, cry until his voice is long gone from existence, but he still has too many tears to spare, he’ll just hold on to Reader and cry for days, weeks if he could… and Reader knows that Sage needed this, he needed to know that he is loved and it’s ok to be sad… and they’ll hold him for eternity if they have to.

The triplets are so fun to spitball with.

Cal feels so trapped by his duty, especially with Fauna treating him the way she does. So when he's given the opportunity to have someone who isn't oppressing him, but instead steps back and lets him flourish? It absolutely strings something between the two of them. Something heavy and unbreaking because he can't go back to the way he was before. He'd go insane.

Wild is almost the exact opposite. He's so sporadic and unpredictable that he's so thankful to have someone to ground him at long last. Even with Flora breathing down his back, all about rebuilding this and redoing that (Even redoing the very things that killed him and the champions in the first place), he can get through it all with you beside him, acting as an anchor.

Now, Sage. I love the ideas you brought because we have to look at his character as a whole. He went through the militant training that Cal did, lost his life and his friends, woke up over a century late like Wild, was just as lost and manic as he was. But he had managed to pick himself up. Had managed to settle himself long enough to deal with the initial threat before attempting to give himself for room to fully quell himself. But then he wasn't given that time. Instead forced back on the front line, now tainted by this Gloom, and dragged back to the bottom of the barrel, sans a whole arm (While he had Rauru's, it wasn't the same). That and the bitch took his house. That would absolutely destroy any sane person, let alone someone like Sage who is so broken.

Small TW: Talk of unalive-ing!

The idea that Sage has in fact thought of that route is something I've been toying with back and forth. He is such a broken man. He's tired and destroyed in every way. Mentally, emotionally, now physically? He had nothing. People don't care for him, they forget he exists without Natura parading him about. He can't even go to Hateno, they all plainly favor her over him; after all they just let her take his house. And worse of all? He's sick. He's infected with this Gloom, which tears him to shreds and hurts. It clenches his heart and constricts his lungs to the point where he's too delirious with pain to tell up from down sometimes.

There were probably times he debated just...giving up? Why be a pawn for Hylia to use? Why go through this torture and this pain over and over and over again? There was so much more to do since his first (Second?) adventure and just thinking about it is exhausting.

But when he meets Reader?

When someone cradles his shattered parts with any form of genuine care? Who lets him cry without holding it over him? Who doesn't think twice about shielding his vulnerable parts from the outside world?

He has a reason to live now. To fight and survive. Not just survive, but thrive. Because he's not living for himself anymore. He's living for his Goddess. He's buying a house on the outskirts of Tarrey Town, he's hunting those shrines down for the light inside. He's learning how to use this new arm to his advantage. He's honing his senses and perfecting the techniques that helped him survive the first time. Foraging, hunting, fishing? All of it? He excels to impress you. He is clawing out of the hole he was dropped in and fucking prospering.

And he'd make damn sure he'd continue to do so. Just to keep his Goddess in his grasp.

I just wanna hold Sage while he cries ;-;, like lemme brush your hair and cradle your cheeks, with a little smooch to your perfect cheeks.

[noodleblade]

what do you think would happen if instead of knock out having to repair a beat down and broken breakdown, it’s the other way round? knock out gets seriously injured and breakdown has to be the one to repair him this time.

(also i love your writing, you do such a good job of getting the characters to feel like themselves!! it’s so cool ^^)

ngl, this ask got away from me. I probably could have answered it in a few paragraphs but I wrote out a little fic instead soooooo hope you enjoy that:3 I had too many ideas so tone-wise...it might be a bit of a mess x__x (BUT THANK YOU!!!! YOU ARE SO KIND!)

ao3 link x

Breakdown’s frame moved on pure instinct. He held Knock Out close to his chassis, careful not to jostle the medic too much as he rushed down the halls of the Nemesis. The curious vehicons stepped out of his way as he barreled through, making a beeline to medbay. 

He couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten back onto the Nemesis. The answer was at some point he had demanded a groundbridge and had raced in, bolting out of the command bridge until he reached the medbay. All of that had been done without thought, his processor entirely focused on the unconscious red speedster in his arms. As soon as he had laid his optics on Knock Out, crumpled in the barren red clay, he had jumped into action, scooping up his partner and running on autopilot. 

When the medbay doors opened, Breakdown laid his partner on the first medberth he laid optics on. He did so with the utmost care, making sure he didn’t further damage his already injured frame. Breakdown paid extra attention to Knock Out’s arm, cradled over the medic’s chest as it was only held together by three small wires. 

Breakdown didn’t let the grim sight affect him. He couldn’t . Energon was still gushing from the sliced cables and Knock Out’s red finish was losing its luster by the klik. He had to move quickly. Stabilize the medic at the very least. From there… well, he’d figure it out. That was a problem for future Breakdown. Right now, the only thing that mattered was making sure Knock Out didn’t lose any more precious energon. 

He at least knew what to do there. Breakdown may not be trained as a medic in the slightest, but he had always assisted Knock Out in the medbay. He may not know what each precise reading of a spark monitor meant, but he knew how to hook up the machine to a patient's spark chamber and processor port. He might not have studied cable repair and restoration, but he knew how to clamp up the leaking ones to prevent further energon loss. With these skills in hand, he moved quickly, all the while keeping an optic on Knock Out in the hopes his precious medic would wake.

He kept his panic at bay as he worked through the mental list of stabilizing Knock Out, his patient.  He tried not to let that thought trigger his panic attack and ducked his helm down as he carefully attached each monitor. One for spark rate, one for energon and fluid levels, one for processor activity and a few more he didn’t even know what they tracked. Knock Out would know when he woke up. Knock Out would be able to fix this. Right?

Breakdown looked down at Knock Out’s nearly severed shoulder. The bright red plating was stained in sticky, tacky energon and beyond that was a mess of slashed cables and striped wires. He did his best to make sure the remaining wires weren’t pulled taunt and to keep the loose limb secure and stable. Beyond that…Breakdown was at a complete and utter loss. 

He wasn’t a medic, neither by construction nor by trade. Yes , he assisted Knock Out, but it was always with Knock Out leading and Breakdown happily following. His skills had always been centered around breaking and destruction, not repair and mending. Knock Out was the medic. Breakdown just followed orders and did minor cleaning . His paperwork as Knock Out’s “assistant” had just been a simple ruse to keep them together! He wasn’t equipped - physically, mentally, emotionally- to deal with this!

Unfortunately, as it stood, Breakdown may be the closest mech the Nemesis had to a medic with Knock Out out of commission. It had been the whole reason he and Knock Out had been called to the Nemesis in the first place. And instead of realizing the inherent value of having only one capable medic, Decepticon High Command sent him out for scouting missions to fight the Autobots and putting his life on the line and now-

Breakdown swallowed the panic, its sticky static trying to cling to his intake as he took a heavy vent in and then out. There were no other options. Breakdown would just have to do his best. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t picked up on some things while working under Knock Out. At the very least, Breakdown knew the basics. It may not be enough to fully reattach Knock Out’s hanging arm, but he could hopefully stabilize and stop the bleeding enough for when Knock Out woke, making patching him up all the easier. He had to believe in that, focus his mind on that task and not the ever mounting pressure and panic threatening his servos to start rattling. 

Hasilty, he tried to recall Knock Out’s instructions. Knock Out loved to talk his way through operations and Breakdown had always recorded his speeches, if not for the information, than just because he loved hearing the medic ramble no matter the usbject. It turns out, it might be the thing saving Knock Out’s life. 

“First Step, dear Breakdown: Stabilize. It’s not really advisable to have your patient dying on the medberth, but the clean up is really the worst part.”

Hearing Knock Out, even over the faded, tinny recording soothed the tremoring of Breakdown’s servos. He took a deep exvent in, as he listened to a Knock Out from long, long ago casually list off necessary stabilization and patient admittance procedure.

“You want to make sure there are no active leaks. Usually a cable clamp is a satisfactory temporary measure. If its cracks within the tanks, a stop leak additive can be introduced to the fuel tank to coagulate the energon to prevent further leaks until the tank has been restored. It's important to make sure there is still energon flowing through the patient, otherwise the frame’s nanites cannot begin the self-regeneration process.”

Breakdown had already clamped off the energon leak and Knock Out didn’t appear to have any other active leaks. 

He quickly sped through the next few steps of Knock Out’s stabilization steps. They covered more severe measures for burns, crushed fuel lines, malware corrosion. Breakdown hoped he didn’t need to worry about those, but from what he could glean, the majority of the damage was from the nearly severed arm. 

“Great,” Knock Out’s recording praised. The tone was warm, familiar, reserved for Breakdown alone. It shouldn’t make his spark spin so rapidly it made his chest burn but it did. Everything Knock Out did had that effect on him. “ Now, we are going to want to do a system assessment and diagnostic.”

As soon as the words whistled through his audials, Breakdown felt his spark sink into the depths of his chassis. 

While Breakdown knew the basics of patient intake and quick patches, the realm of actual, professional grade care was above his knowledge base. Knock Out could take one glance at an offset wing and know the issue was a simple alignment or see a shattered knee joint and know the exact reconstruction configuration for that specific frame type. Breakdown surely couldn’t look as a nearly dismembered arm and know how to pop it back into place. 

Breakdown stared at Knock Out and the mess of his shoulder in utter dismay. He didn’t know what to do. Sure, he helped Knock Out occasionally in the medbay but that was in the vein of passing equipment or fetching medicine. It certainly wasn’t anything more than that. He wasn’t a forged medic, he wasn’t even a trained nurse. They just put that on paper so they would make sure they got to stay on the same ship together.

He needed a real medic. Someone that knew what they were talking about. 

An idea…struck Breakdown, less like a bolt of lightning and more like a creeping, dawning dread. He quickly pulled up his comm link and enabled the frequency scrambler. 

--

Ratchet stared at the anonymous comm link with a chill of dread rolling down his spinal strut. 

The frequency was concealed and somehow managed to get through the several encrypted firewalls the Autobots had set up to protect their network from Decepticon interference. Evidently, more protective measures would need to be implemented. Without opening it, all Ratchet could see was the scrambled frequency and the single word subject: help .

Hesitantly, Ratchet opened the message. It was short, curt. 

::Need your medical advice. Call me. Emergency.::

He frowned deeply. It wasn’t from any of his fellow Autobots and it wasn’t from Starscream. Even Wheeljack, despite his transient and “neutral” status, was in their contact database. There weren’t that many Cybertronians in range that it could be, leaving only a handful of Decepticons possibly on the end of the link. 

Before Ratchet could debate about calling, his anonymous messenger seemed to lose patience and called him . The ringing echoed in the quiet Autobot base, everyone out scouting and the kids thankfully at their homes, leaving Ratchet alone. Curiosity won out at the end as he accepted the call. 

The comm link connected but there was no immediate answer. A faint, quiet buzzing met him, telling him the call connected but the caller was choosing not to speak. 

Gruffly, Ratchet spoke. “Hello?”

“Uh,” came a hesitant, deep register “hey, Doc.”

Ratchet blinked. The voice was not un familiar, but Ratchet wasn’t completely sure he could place it. The image of an angry bulky blue bot came to mind but... 

“This is-“

“Breakdown. Yeah, I don’t really have time to chat. Just need your help for a second. I’ll owe you or whatever.”

Ratchet narrowed his optics. A myriad of questions rolled through the medic’s helm: How did a Decepticon bruiser get his personal comm link? How long has his information been available to the Decepticons? What other holes in their Network were there that any low-ranking Decepticon could just access willy nilly? What business did Breakdown even have with Ratchet of all mechs?

“Help with what? ”

Rather than reply, an incoming video call request came in from the same comm frequency. 

Was this a threat? An attempt at blackmail or ransom? Oh no. Had the Decepticons taken one of his mech’s prisoners? Or what if it was one of the kids or-

Before his thought could even finish, Ratchet accepted the call only to be met by the (goreish) image of a nearly severed arm coated in thick, tacky energon. Several fuel lines had been slashed and nearly every wire snapped, snagged and frayed. 

“Oh Primus, what is this?” Ratchet cried out. 

“A gift from your wrecker, courtesy of his bombs,” Breakdown snarled, anger and the edge of panic in his voice. “Just tell me how I fix him.”

“You have a medic, don’t you?” Ratchet sneered, the image of the flashy speedster conjured in his processor. 

“Whose arm do you think this is?” Breakdown hissed.

Oh. 

Upon closer examination, Ratchet could see the telltale edges of sleek red plating, now chipped and scratched, a sickly gray sheen taking over the usual glimmering finish. Based on the relative silence over the comm link, Ratchet had to assume Knock Out was, well, knocked out . Otherwise, he could only imagine the absolute fit the other medic would throw in knowing his precious frame was in the hypothetical servos of Ratchet . 

“Why would I help you?” Ratchet asked. 

Doing so would only be giving aid to the enemy . With Knock Out out of commission, even for a little bit, that would allow the Autobots to make some moves, finally make actual concrete steps into ending this war and defeating Megatron. Why would he help? Why would he go against his own cause and the great good for Cybertronians-

“Didn’t you take some oaths?” Breakdown asked, his tone veering from distressed to disgust.

Well. He did have a point. The inner fires that had been burning in Ratchet’s chest extinguished with one fell-swoop as he let out a heavy exvent.

Breakdown continued, seemingly taking Ratchet’s defeated sigh as acceptance. “I’m not asking you to actually do it. I’m not bridging you here and he’s not going to be at the mercy of the Autobot. I’ll take care of it-”

“You aren’t a medic!”

“Our only medic won’t have an arm unless I do something,” Breakdown snapped back. A shuddering exvent whistled over the frequency before the normally brutish mech whispered a quiet, desperate, “Please?”

It shouldn’t make Ratchet’s resolve waiver. Yet, Ratchet found himself soften at the quiet plea. He knew all too well the pain of watching a loved one suffer and as much as he may hate Knock Out, he didn’t relish the idea of being one of the factors in his ill fated injury. He knew the bitter taste of not being able to fix, mend, help .

“It’s going to require surgery,” Ratchet said with a grimace. It looked like Wheeljack’s bombs not only nearly severed the limb but removed the surrounding plating’s protective coating. “It’s not something I can just walk you through. A repair like this is complicated, meddling in it without expertise could cause even more damage.” 

“Can’t we just do a quick patch? To make sure it doesn’t get worse? Something?”

It was odd hearing Breakdown so… panicked . Ratchet, while never quite having the fortune to face off against the Decepticon, he certainly heard many tales from Bulkhead about him, none never quite painted him in such a soft, caring light. Then again, the risk of loss made everyone reveal their true selves. 

“I suppose we can do some light repair work and splint up the rest. Is he suffering from any other injuries?” If it is just his arm, Knock Out should be able to handle the repair, or at least instruct his partner in patching it up. If he really was a medic worth his expensive, ostentatious finish. 

“Not that I could tell. Just scuffed up and some dents. I can buff those out later.”

“How thoughtful,” Ratchet grumbled. “Right, let’s get this over with quickly.” No point in becoming overly familiarized with Breakdown. Ratchet did not intend for this to be a repeat venture. Judging by Breakdown’s general disposition, he didn’t seem to be either. “Okay, first zoom me in on the wire connections and let me see what we are working with. You clamp those cables yourself?”

There was a distant grunt as Breakdown slowly turned the video feed to show every angle of the injured arm. “I’m his assistant. Nurse. Whatever. I help K.O. in the medbay often enough to how to clamp some slaggin’ cables. My helm’s hard but it’s not full of lead.”

Ratchet didn’t want to say he was impressed but…well, it wasn’t like any of his mechs knew how to clamp cables or even what cable clamps were. 

“They look good,” Ratchet muttered the slight praise. He quickly coughed, clearing his intake as Ratchet shifted to a more authoritative, professional tone. “Alright, does Knock Out have anything for splints? Tension cables, mesh tape, any medgrade solvent. You are going to want to keep it clean to avoid rust infections. Oh, and nanite gel will be useful as well for doing some minor restorative work to the light damaged cables…”

--

Breakdown wasn’t sure how long had passed before Knock Out’s optics flickered on. Warm, red glowed in the dimly light medbay as the medic slowly took in his situation. There was…a strange look on his partner’s face. Breakdown leaned closer as Knock Out slowly looked around. It seemed to take the speedster a moment before his optics landed on Breakdown. 

“Medbay?” he asked, his tone…unsure. Off. 

Worry immediately crashed over him. Breakdown quickly scanned the console monitors but by his limited knowledge, everything looked correct. Ratchet had even confirmed so when Breakdown had shown him all the readings. All Knock Out’s meters were stabilized, his energon levels were satisfactory and even his plating had started to lose the gray sheen, familiar bright red peeking through. 

Oh Primus, what if his processor took damage. Breakdown had been so focused on the mangled arm, he hadn’t even considered damage to his helm. Breakdown barely knew how to apply the temporary welds even with an experienced medic walking him through it. Processor damage though . That wasn’t even Knock Out’s specialty. Breakdown had learned everything he had from his partner and he had done a basic helm check. No dents, no scraps. The virus detector found nothing. 

“Yeah, K.O. You got hit. How’re you feelin’? In any pain?”

“Nope,” Knock Out let the sound pop from his lips. A little giggle followed which was very un-Knock Out.  “I feel great .”

Looked like the anesthesia was still cycling through his systems. Breakdown had hooked up the machine by muscle memory. The machine itself had little use, no injury brought into the medbay really needed more than a mild numb agent. The last time machine had been used was when Megatron had been comatose-

Scrap. In his haste to hook up Knock Out to the machine and to take care of the energon leaks, he hadn’t even thought to recalibrate the machine for Knock Out’s frame. Breakdown swallowed the rising panic of knowing Knock Out’s systems were currently cycling through a Megatron-sized dose of anesthesia. The dosage for a mech nearly double, if not triple Knock Out’s capacity.

He had half the mind to call Ratchet back. He was halfway through enabling the scrambler when Knock Out let out a happy, content sigh.

It…didn’t look like it was having any adverse effects. Sure, Knock Out seemed a little out of it, but if that’s all, maybe he could hold off on reaching back out to the Autobot medic. He didn’t want to test his luck. He didn’t know what would happen if Megatron found him in communication with the Autobots. For any reason. 

“Happy to hear it,” Breakdown said, thankful that as much as this whole situation was a slaggin’ mess, at least he wasn’t in pain. There was still that dazed look in Knock Out’s optics and a looseness in his limbs that Breakdown hoped was just a temporary symptom of the anesthesia. 

“You patched me up?” asked Knock Out with a soft, lofty laugh. The sound shouldn’t peak his anxiety but he’d never , in all the vorns they had known each other, ever heard Knock Out giggle . “Where d’you learn all that?” He was beaming, all too proud for a mech that nearly lost his entire arm. 

Breakdown felt nauseated by the vast contradiction of utter adoration or deep, spark-aching worry. However, despite both of these, he could not burst Knock Out’s bubble that in truth he had called the ornery Autobot medic for help. 

“Only from the best,” he murmured. 

Lazily Knock Out’s optics dragged down his frame, lingering with a small pout at every scratch and dent he spied along the way. It ended at his shoulder joint, which even Breakdown had to admit, didn’t look all that much better with the temporary splints than it had looked just hanging from those scant few wires.

“‘S not bad,” Knock Out murmured, his voice slightly slurred and sleepy. “Aiming for my gig?”

“Not sure my shoddy work is gonna pass any examinations,” Breakdown responded softly, holding Knock Out’s uninjured servo in-between his own. “It’s a mess. You’re going to have to help me clean up whatever I fragged up.”

“Mmmm,” Knock Out hummed, optics unfocused and slightly dim. “Not sure I have the capacity to give instruction now.”

“Just rest,” Breakdown lifted the clawed servo to his lips, speaking directly into the metal. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, silly?” Knock Out slurred, digits wiggling playfully but oh so weakly between his palms. “You fixed me up.”

“Knock Out-”

“Shhhhh,” the drowsy medic hushed, clawed digit clumsily landed across Breakdown’s lips. “The doctor is speaking.” A sloppy, drug induced smile crawled across his lips plates. “One medical professional to another. Besides-” Knock Out dropped his voice to a soft whisper “-you took care of me. That’s all I could ever ask of you.”

Breakdown swallowed the knot of emotion rising up his intake. He pressed another kiss to Knock Out’s finger before gently placing his servo back onto the medberth. 

“Leaving?” Knock Out asked quietly as Breakdown stood. It made the large mech pause. It wasn’t often he heard his partner so weak, so vulnerable. 

“Just going to clean up.”

“That can wait. Come back here.” There was a slight pout on the speedster’s face. “You know an important aspect of patient care is…” The words failed him suddenly, his pout turning into a confused frown. 

“Bedside manner?”

“Yes. Yes, yes. Exactly.”

Breakdown slowly eased himself back into the seat, his spark warming as the smile blossomed on Knock Out’s face once more. His arm flopped out of the berth to reach Breakdown but it seemed his fine motor skills were too lax to do much than hang limply in the space between them. 

“Okay, K.O.” Breakdown murmured, picking up the loopy medic’s servo once more. “I ain’t going anywhere.”

“Good.”

[punksocks]

Astrology analysis - Spider verse Edition

Came up with this idea out of nowhere but I love this movie series so much idk how I could not analyze the characters!! I’m so invested in them lol.

**Major spoilers ahead

Miles Morales/ Spider-Man:

Capricorn Rising: This was tough but I really thought about the filter that Miles sees the world through and how much of his journey has to deal with the pressure put upon him and how he has to find a way to be himself. Hes pushed to succeed and has ambitious goals in his school life. He often finds himself isolated due to how much is on his plate. He’s a ground breaking spider-man like no other.

Leo Sun: He’s a confident kid. Even if he juggles too much on his plate. He’s outgoing and kind, and actually very social and eager. He can underestimate situations because of his ego sometimes and that trips him up. He also can catch a lot of attention, for doing very well and not so well. Leos tend to catch attention when they’re showing off and when they’re messing up.

Virgo Moon: Anxious and analytical. He picks up on the details that no one else notices and often uses that to his advantage. Even when he gets passed his like Spider-Man stage fright he still gets a bit tripped up and is hard on himself. He does gain the confidence to go his own way, even if he’s still a bit vulnerable. He feels deeply even if others can’t see it. He’s a genius kid too.

Capricorn Mercury: it was the way he stood up for himself and vowed to go his own way after Miguel sent everyone after him. In my experience Capricorn/Saturn can show where you have to stand up for yourself and Miles had to write his expectations of what he would live up to in into the spiderverse then in across the spiderverse he was forced to defend himself and go his own way. He also is a clever thinker and gets under estimated as being out of his depth which is more about his Mercury being conjunct his Ascendant but I thought I’d add my two cents.

Pisces Venus: He’s an artist and a daydreamer. Super sweet towards Gwen and cute and passive about his crush. Heartbroken when she betrayed him. :/ Also he’s pretty liable to being influenced by the people in his social circles.

Virgo Mars: Okay mars can point to dexterity too, and he’s acrobatic but also awkward. He’s a teenager yes, but the other teens have a bit more grace. Miles will often move and fight in a way that’s super out of the box though. He’s also not really a confrontational kid, but he holds his own when it comes down to it. He also has a long term crush on Gwen, which I think virgo mars can become really attached when they catch feelings.

Spider-Gwen:

Scorpio Rising: she’s intense and has a lot going on. She’s perceptive. She’s alternative and expresses her intense emotions through outlets like the drums. She gives me moon rising energy of like having a world full of emotional complexity and depth. But Scorpio moon rising so it’s a world full of harsh edges that can be hard to gaze into and totally understand unless you’ve gone through a lot like she has. (Hence the whole not doing friends thing but obviously acting from an emotionally wounded place and being loyal to the people that helped her to a self sabotaging degree)

Capricorn Sun: Only because I think she’s a bit of a hardass lol. Ok let me not skip ahead. She works very hard, is intelligent, and very difficult to get close to. She tends to trust older people in power and they continue to disappoint her. I find that Capricorn placements often have a theme of being forced to come into their own because of immature/underdeveloped adults in their lives. She has a sense of humor and can come back to earth when she’s not singlemindedly focused on her duties though.

Scorpio Moon: A heavy theme of loss in her life. She has emotional scars and pent up anger about “mistakes” she’s made and friends she hasn’t been able to save. She feels deeply and emotionally. And she vows to redeem herself. (Scorpio Stellium energy too)

Capricorn Mercury: dry Wit and communication style. Always a lot going on in her head that she won’t really vocalize to people on the outside.

Scorpio Venus: All of her friends have meant so much to her. She carries their memories with her in her heart and on her mind. When she lost Peter it made such an extreme impression on her she vowed not to have friends again. Yet when she met Miles she felt closer to him than she had with anyone in a while. She betrayed him and has to work on building up trust between them again. It’s like she has a wound to repair over her friendships and relationships in general.

Libra Mars: Moves with grace and dexterity. Very angry but not very confrontational, especially when it comes down to figures wronging her personally. She has a strong sense of justice too and that drives her to action, especially when others can be harmed. She’s also into Miles because he’s kind, authentic, and has a strong sense of doing the right thing no matter what.

Peter B Parker:

Pisces Rising: I think it’s a combination of just how clearly his mood affects his appearance (he was having a rough time in the first film lest we forget) and how like he’s seen as super heroic and is our classic SpiderMan but he’s also been through a lot of emotional times but is always effected by new connections and new people coming into his life. It’s the fluidity of how much the world still effects him in his 40s for me. He’s also very sentimental.

Virgo Sun: Because he’s so smart and so tired and seemingly cynical about solving the problems that go on but he’ll still step up and save the day and help the kid that seems him to be their mentor (is it weird that he reminds me a tiny tiny bit of Kakashi? It’s that anti mentor architype but they’re still a good mentor at the end of the day.). He’s also self sacrificing, the day has to be saved no matter what. (Also the way he treated miles and tried to say it was help miles in across the spiderverse, if you’ve ever known a Virgo man you probably get what I mean lmao, a very virgo way to rationalize betrayal ngl)

Taurus Moon: He’s an older SpiderMan and he’s tired but he’s also able to bounce back despite a bunch of trauma and sadness. Not immediately, like any fixed sign it takes time, but he gets his groove back. (He was a wreck for a while though and when Taurus moons are having a rough time, they’re having the worst time) He’s also not nearly as tough as he pretends to be and he’s a softie and and a romantic. And he loves being a dad so much. Just an overall nice guy (even if he does screw up).

Virgo Mercury: He’s always too tired to explain what’s happening and what needs to be done but he will explain it! Lol

Taurus Venus: he loves May because she’s as grounded and emotionally understanding as she is beautiful. He also like really loves her and is heart broken when it doesn’t work out. He gets over his fear of having kids and they get right back together and it’s beautiful (*cry*)

Cancer Mars: He loves his family so much. He’s a burnt out husk without them. And he’s completely rejuvenated by getting back with May and becoming a dad and finding hope in being Miles mentor. He’s protective over everyone at once even if that doesn’t work out. (Also like heavy on trying to protect Miles but not be honest with him and doing that lowkey emotional manipulation thing that cancer placements can do sometimes..) also I just keep thinking of that seahorse scene from into the spiderverse and that’s his whole cancer mars vibe imo lol.

Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man India:

Leo Rising: He’s like a textbook, non insecure Leo rising! He’s popular and beloved as both spider-man and Pavitr. Everyone loves him and he’s super confident and a little naive. He’s even got the luscious Leo hair.

Pisces Sun: he’s light hearted and a little naive about the whole being Spider-Man thing. But he’s bc such a sweetheart. He even immediately supports Gwen and Miles getting together. An overall cutie we appreciate it.

Cancer Moon: Immediately checks the romantic tension vibe and has that like “you can’t get anything past me” intuition thing that cancer moons and venuses usually do. He cares a lot about his friends and his family and has deep loyalty towards Miles for helping save them.

Leo Mercury: He’ll just say what’s on his mind and say it loudly. He likes to be charming but that’s not his main goal.

Leo Venus: He loves his super cool girlfriend and likes most of the attention they get together. He loves his friends too and he’s super loyal. (Also Leo stellium energy am I right?)

Gemini Mars: very tricky to figure out lol, but he’s got that similar Mercurial mars gracefulness. I feel like he moves a lot more sporadically than a Virgo mars would. He also has a lot of wit and lightheartedness to his words and actions.

Hobie Brown/Spider Punk:

(WHAT AN ICON!! I love a leftist anarchist actually getting shit done omg such a real one)

Sagittarius Rising: Sees the world uniquely, he’s able to see out of the box solutions to problems. Cracks a lot of jokes but also political ones all the time. He isn’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers. A lot of people love him and a few really hate him.

Aries Sun: Charismatic and coming in with a big burst of energy. The first to call out the corruption in the spider org.

Scorpio Moon: Very alt and very cool. Careful about who he lets in. He’s good at reading everyone (immediately clocks Miguel’s bad intent and Miles’ stand out potential). He has a strong moral code and knows who to align with and against but doesn’t let anyone see his plans.

Sagittarius Mercury: Blunt and calls out a lot of shit. And like will ask the uncomfortable questions and give uncomfortable advice. Also cracks like 20 jokes in his first few minutes on screen.

Aquarius Venus: Lots of friends and lots of philosophizing with those friends. Can really irk some people and charm the rest. Thinks deeply and is reliable but in a birds eye view sort of way.

Aries Mars: unafraid to get stuff done, has that sun conjunct mars energy of putting action behind what they believe.

Miguel O’Hara:

Scorpio Rising: Have you seen him?? Fr, he’s dark and intimidating and intense. He has a cynical view of things abd can be very attached to how things are supposed to be done. He also gets intensely fixated.

Capricorn Sun: Built the whole spider organization from the ground up and he runs it according to his very strict standards. Asserts himself at the top and as the correct one in many situations.

Aries Moon: He’s independent and single minded. His anger distracts him and wholly takes over his focus. His anger gets pretty explosive as well.

Capricorn Mercury: Not a lot of small talk from this guy. Very my way or the highway.

Cancer Venus: family was the most important thing to him and he has an emotional scar over losing them.

Scorpio Mars: If you cross him he’ll hunt you down and make you pay. Even if you just disagree with him it’s a fight. He seems like he used to be softer on his loved ones but he’s acting from an emotionally selfish place now. Also strong Mars rising energy, very aggressive.

(Will follow up with SpiderWoman, Spider- Byte, Peni Parker, Spider Man Noir, and Spider Ham after the next movie if you guys want ;0)

[shivstar]

Some asked me why I hate the character Remus Lupin so much.

And people who have read my posts will think that probably it is related to my even more strong dislike for wolfstar. But surprisingly it is not at all related to that.

So, long story short is that I read a fic which was done so nicely that from there on me and remus were always on odds.

For those who want long story-

I was actually into time traveling fics a few years back. You know where hermione goes back in time and makes all things right.

This was one such fic. Where she is reborn as the twin sister of james Potter.

Now, one thing people should know about these fic is that here she is paired with prominent people we know from first war time.

More often it is not james, because of his epic love story with lily or the fact that her best friend will not be born if she is paired such. Others who are often paired with her are sirius, remus, Regulus and snape.

I was into sirius-hermione pairing and read all of them like drugs.

Now my expectations when reading such fics is that the romance take a little back seat and the drama related to war should provide more entertainment.

So mostly avoided fics where she travelled through 2-3 boyfriends to reach to her final guy. Sirius. But this story was exception.

I was reading one such fic in which this pairing was taged. Sirius and Hermione

In it sirius and remus both have feelings for hermione. And neither made a move because they knew about how the other felt and didn't want to come in the way of rthe other out of brotherhood.

We as reader are not told which one of them she has feelings for. Maybe both??????????????????The player witch😎.

Anyways. But this change when after the incident with snape in the shack, remus lets go of all his concern for his friend's feelings and makes a move to the girl.

All is well and good. And they slowly and steadily ease into the relationship. And things are in early stage.

This carries on for a few months where sirius is shown to be feeling remorseful for what he did to his friend. And is also a little heartbroken seeing the two together but he takes it like a champ and does not feel any ill will towards the new couple.

One day the marauders are planning some prank. During which remus starts taunting sirius because he still feeling bitter. Peter and james try to handle the situation but it keep on accelerating to no avail.

In the heat of the moment, remus decides to taunt sirius that he has got the girl they both wanted and tells in detail about what the two got up two just the last night. ( about their bedroom activities).

James first of all punches remus and breaks his nose for speaking like this about his sister. As if she were an object.

Turns out hermione was also nearby and listened to all this and confronts remus about using her and their relationship to make sirius suffer. She asks him if he would have asked her out if it weren't for his desire to punish sirius by asking her out.

This scene was done so fantastically that after that day lupin's character was gone for me. As soon as he comes as a prominent character in any fic, I take my leave or skip those parts.

Now obviously, the Hermione, sirius and james in that particular fic forgave poor lupin. But I never could find it in me to be able to do so. I simply was hoping till the end of the fic that they will just kick him out of their life.

This is my problem as a reader. I get too emotionally attached when the story is really well done. yeah I am malleable like that. 🥺🥺

I am once again reading a fic with sirius/ harry pairing, this too has a problematic remus but the author says that they are trying to aim for his redemption. It is called "RETURN FROM THE VEIL BY @jmagnabo92

This fic too is such where in the end the protagonist will forgive the bad guy but I will be left with even more bad feelings about this particular character than before.

So, this is the reason of me hating remus, not because of canon or wolfstar or any toxic story I read, simply a well done fic where he tried to take away the female protagonist from her destined male protagonist.

[swamp-spirit]

I’ve been resisting getting into Internet Fights about my Oshi no Ko opinions, but they have been building in my heart and I need to get them off my chest. It’s a long ramble, but the upshot is:

1. People are way to harsh on Akane 2. Aqua sucks, but also his feelings about Ai are way more nuanced than he gets credit for 3. Ruby also sucks, and pretending she doesn’t is a disservice to her as a character 4. Holy shit this got long

Ahoy for manga spoilers

With the first episode out, I want to start by saying this: I am putting Gorou’s comments about dating Ai to the side for this meta. Obviously it is wrong for a grown-ass man to hesitate when asked if he’d date a teen celeb. I see his comments towards Serena as just trying to offer comfort, but his comments towards Ai are an absolute NOPE. If somebody isn’t able to engage with Aqua at all after that, or engage with the show, I think that’s perfectly understandable, but I also think, to discuss any other aspect of Aqua and his relationship with Ai, I am filing that under ‘yup, that’s some creepy anime bullshit‘.

Now onto the meta.

So Akane’s pissed people off again. And what she said is pretty fucked up. Like “I know your dead Mom better than you because I studied her“???

The thing is, she isn’t wrong. Like she shouldn’t have said it. Akane is good at reading people, but bad at communicating normally. But like.... she isn’t wrong.

Ruby has a very specific image of her mother. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing her to Aqua and how much more pure her love is. She called Ai “Mama“ and Aqua only ever used her name! He never got beyond seeing her as a sexy object.

This doesn’t ring true for me at all.

Ai was emotionally stunted and starved for love. Like a lot of teens in that position, she went looking for it in bad places. She became the idol of people who saw her as an object. She had children in hopes they’d give her a family.

This is actually a really common thing for teen moms, and the stories don’t usually turn out like Ai’s. Toddlers are dependent on their parents, but they don’t have empathy. They’re temperamental and selfish, they’ll kick and bite and yell that they hate you and you’re a bad mom. And that’s normal and natural! That’s part of being a kid! Aqua wanted Ai to have normal kids, but I think it’s somewhat lucky she got two kids who adored her so entirely.

To Ruby, Ai was perfect. Serena didn’t have present parents. She was a lonely dying kid, and Ai was everything she didn’t have. Ai was loved. She traveled, she could move her body like she wanted, she was beautiful and bright.

Even though Ruby wasn’t a ‘real’ child, I think Ai was entirely her mother. Serena attached to Gorou because he was there when her parents weren’t. Ai was Serena’s first chance to have a parent, and Ai seems to be this perfect being to her. Only now, as she reaches the age Ai was and experiences the intense emotions of coming into adulthood, she’s starting to wonder if maybe Ai was unhappy too. She never once considers that Ai would want the world to know about her kids. To her, Ai was the perfect idol, and anything that threatens that is disrespectful to Ai.

But that wasn’t what Ai wanted. We know now she felt stifled by her image and wanted to share her true self. I was particularly hit by the short story where one of Ai’s Idol co-starts deletes a vulnerable message from Ai, wishing for friendship. She can’t stand seeing Ai as a vulnerable, full person and wants to protect Ai’s image as the perfect idol.

I don’t mean to say Ruby’s love of Ai is any less, but she very much feels like a child who isn’t fully ready to see her mother as a person. I think there’s some happiness for her in being an idol, but I think it’s tragic. I see people wishing it could just be a sweet manga about a daughter chasing her dream to feel connected to her mother, but... I think some of those people miss the point of what being an idol means in this story. Ai became an idol to learn to love and be loved, and found herself isolated and fake. Ruby chases a sick girl’s dream and the connection idoldom gives her to the two adults that first showed her love, but we’re seeing that she’s putting that over the relationships she has now. She’s chasing the same dream of perfect love and sabotaging her relationship with everyone in her life to get it.

Now for Aqua’s feelings.

I think it matters a lot to learn about Gorou’s family situation. His life story is one of feeling he failed to protect women. And it’s made him real weird.

His mom died having him and like... lots of kids feel guilty for that, but he spent his whole childhood being blamed for it. Serena is the only genuine connection we saw him making and, by the way her carried that badge, I don’t think it’s just that his other connections weren’t on screen. He saw somebody else who wasn’t loved and did his best to be there for her. And watched her die again.

The crush on Ai is HELLA CREEPY, but, at the end of the day, he didn’t hit on her or put his feelings first. He focused on her health, and, when he was reincarnated, his thought was “good, now I can protect her“. He didn’t see her as a mother, but, unlike Ruby, he saw her as vulnerable. He wanted to protect his ‘fake‘ mother in a way he hadn’t been able to protect his real one, in the way he hadn’t been able to protect Serena, and he failed in the most brutal way. We see in his panic attack that he still feels like the responsible adult that should have been able to protect her, that Ai was a young woman under his care, AND that part of him feels like the scared five year old who was so small and tiny when a grown-ass man stabbed his mother in front of him.

It’s also defined the rift between the twins. Ruby sees herself as a victim, trapped on the other side of the glass as somebody took away her beloved mother, and who is still being shut out. Aqua sees himself as complicit, somebody who’d promised to protect Ai, that watched her get stabbed and bleed out. Ruby wants to protect her mother’s secrets and the perfect image Ai gave everything to, Aqua wants the world to know the human woman behind the image.

And it’s made Aqua weird around women. He doesn’t want Ruby or Akane or Kana to be another woman he fails to protect. He shuts them out, lies, and denies them agency to protect himself from losing them again. I think it’s also telling that, even though revenge was his reason for living as a child, when he thought he didn’t need to get revenge anymore, he wasn’t lost and without purpose, he was happy. (And declared he would now dedicate his life to protecting Akane, a chance to succeed where he’s always failed) He isn’t clinging to his revenge, he’s caught in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure.

Akane is good at reading people. Kana and Ruby are both very much teens. Aqua’s actions are inexplicable and infuriating. Akane knows what’s up. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, but she knows what’s up. Aqua isn’t a baffling enigma, he’s a fucked up dude on a downward spiral.

She’s not trying to stop him from killing his dad because Murdering a Serial Killer is Bad. She’s straight up offered to help kill him. But she and the director are the only people who have picked up exactly how much Aqua hates himself, and that he very well might plan to die to do this. Aqua doesn’t think he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t value his own life! Shit is dire!

Aqua saved her, and is probably one of the few people she can truly talk to. Akane is a socially awkward weirdo who’s too smart for her age, and Aqua appreciates it and plays on her level. She’s emotionally clumsy and accidentally cruel, but I think she’s right that Ruby isn’t seeing her mother as a full person yet (which is normal for a teen! especially a deeply traumatized teen) and she’s right that, if left unchecked, Aqua will destroy himself because he feels like he deserves it.

Like, I totally get thinking Kana and Aqua are more romantically compatible, but right now, Aqua desperately needs somebody who can call him on his bullshit. I’m so sick of people hating on Akane for not being blindly supportive on what is pretty clearly a complicated suicide attempt.

[meimi-haneoka]

You know, I really appreciate Syaoran developing independent friendships within the wider friend circle. He was having lunch with Yamazaki, Naoko and Chiharu (forgot the chapter) without Sakura or Tomoyo being present and was clearly in a conversation where he felt comfortable enough to put his point across to Naoko despite his contrary opinion. Plus, I found it so cute that he was worried about 'Yanagizawa' pulling all nighters and asked her to take care of her health (again, forgot the chapter). It really shows how far Syaoran has come as a character. I wish we get a OVA or extra story elaborating how Syaoran changed as a person for the better in Japan. I wonder what the reaction of his former classmates back in Hong Kong was once he moved back to Hong Kong. They would have gone "Li is much calmer now. He even talks to us nicely. I wonder what happened in Japan? Did he go soft out there?" Buhaha. And then Meiling jumps in with "Nah. He just caught feelings out there." Ahahahaha.

Hellooo, thank you for the nice ask! Yeaaaah, this is something I'm 99% sure I've mentioned in my past chapter analysis too, how wonderful it was to see Syaoran interacting and tightening his bond with the other friends, aside from Sakura and Tomoyo. I really appreciated that, especially the interactions he's got with Naoko (so peculiar to see him getting worried over a friend who's not Tomoyo or his girlfriend, right?) and it really goes to show what a tremendous character development he had from the Clow Card Arc days. A development that didn't stop with the end of Sakura Card Arc but actually continues in Clear Card, with the consolidation of the friendships he made in Japan, which are quite predictive of the bonds he will keep even once he enters his adulthood.

Seeing him in chapter 59 stating, all serious and slightly embarrassed, that he wanted to be of help to everyone in the preparations of the play was really sweet, and I also loved that he was able to discuss with Naoko about his role in a very mature way. I really can feel CLAMP's need for these kids to grow up mentally, emotionally and even socially, therefore the decision to "split" the original Tomoeda elementary group and particularly to "split" Syaoran and Sakura, in order to allow them to experience also other bonds and not end up attached to the hips, so to speak. I also want to mention the absolutely beautiful "boys talk" that Syaoran and Yamazaki have in one of the Clear Card Drama CDs, it's one of the "original contents" and something I felt was missing from Syaoran's friendship with Yamazaki: a boys talk about their relationship with their girlfriends 😁 (and Yamazaki proved to be so mature, despite his foolish appearance). Syaoran couldn't talk to Sakura yet about her problem with her powers, and the guilt was eating his soul away, so he seeked advice and reassurance from his best buddy: another sign of maturity (instead of keeping everything inside like he used to do).

All in all, Syaoran really benefited not only from the interactions with Sakura but all the Tomoeda kids, and I'm sure his classmates in Hong Kong noticed too! 😁

[sapphire-weapon]

a few days ago you mentioned that you headcanon that remake Leon lost his virginity to Claire.

Do you think this is something he would regret or would he still have some lingering feelings there?

Like, I love Ashley but I also really love Claire too and since you mentioned this I've been kinda torn lol!

So basically, care to elaborate?

So, in OG canon, RE2 ends with Leon being all amped up to go after Umbrella. This apparently ends up with him and Claire in an argument about the next steps to take, and he all but shoves her to go in the opposite direction of him and Sherry so that she can find Chris -- and then Leon and Sherry get picked up by the CIA just a few hours later.

Like, that whole thing happens really fucking fast in OG. Leon has not had a chance to sleep in the time between driving into Raccoon City and being kidnapped into CIA custody.

And yet, somehow, despite this, Claire is able to keep in contact with Leon to the point of being able to email him during the events of Code Veronica??? Like, it makes absolutely no fucking sense at all, and Capcom never bothered to try to explain it specifically because it's complete plot convenience nonsense lmao

So I feel like this is one of the changes that Remake is making -- because RE2make did not end with the same tone as OG RE2. RE2make ends with Leon looking at Claire and Sherry as his immediate priority, and if any Umbrella shit pops up, they'll deal with it then.

Leon's wording during the intro of RE4make is suspect, too -- that he was "later asked" by the CIA to join up. That makes me think that this didn't happen right away -- that there was at least a handful of days, or even maybe a full week, in between him escaping Raccoon City and the CIA getting a hold of him. And this is sort of backed up by the lingering nerve damage in his left shoulder in RE4make -- he probably carried that open gunshot wound around for a bit longer in Remake than he did in OG canon.

(side note: I know that the photo of Leon that Krauser has been very uhhhh attached to, let's say, looks like Leon was literally just taken off the streets like he was in OG canon, but like. Capcom wasn't going to make a whole new, cleaned up version of his RE2make character model just for Krauser's jerk off fantasies LMAO it was just easier to put in his endgame RE2make model there)

So this meant that there was a not-insignificant amount of time in Remake canon where Leon, Claire, and Sherry were basically playing house, so to speak, while Leon and Claire tried to figure out what to do next.

I imagine this is when it happened.

You've got these two college-aged kids trapped in a domestic situation together after escaping from an actual literal waking nightmare together. They're hurting not just physically, but emotionally. They've been isolated from the rest of the world and have only each other to trust and confide in and try to figure out a way of coping with any of it and moving forward.

Yeah, that's going to boil over at some point very quickly. Any number of things could have been the trigger point for it.

It could have been Claire helping Leon keep his wound clean and feeling like she's actually helping in a way that matters while he's a little overwhelmed by someone taking care of him.

Or it could have been a melancholic moment where they're both lost and directionless and feeling helpless, and they both end up looking for some comfort in each other, because that's all they have.

Or it could have been a tense moment when one or both of them can't make sense of why they're still alive -- or if they're still alive, and they just need to feel something to remind themselves they're still human.

Or it could have been a quiet moment in the middle of the night, where neither one of them says anything at all, and neither one of them is quite sure just how Claire ended up on Leon's lap while he kisses her as though he's afraid she'll disappear if he stops.

It doesn't really matter what it was. No matter what happened, it happened.

And I don't think that Leon would have told her up front that only the first two fingers on his right hand know what the inside of a vagina feels like. She probably suspected it when she noticed how nervous he was, and she definitely figured it out after the third time he went too far and accidentally pulled out of her completely mid-thrust instead of just pulling back -- but I don't think that this was information that he volunteered.

But Claire was probably the awakening of Leon's praise kink, because I'm sure that once she did figure it out, she literally took him by the hands and walked him through it. And after a few comments along the lines of "You're a fast learner" and "That's it, you've got it" and "Keep going, just like that" and "You're doing so fucking good" -- Leon learned something about himself that he did not know previously.

I don't think he regrets it, and I don't think that he ever will.

Well, I mean, I'm sure he regrets it a little whenever she decides to hold it over his head later in life, because she's Claire Redfield and there's absolutely zero chance that she's going to let him forget that she was the one who taught him how to please a woman.

And he probably regretted it a little bit the first time that he ever had to look Chris in the face.

And then also one other time way later down the line when it hit him that he was now much closer to Chris than he was to Claire, and that weird "oh my god I fucked your sister, and now I'm also kind of attracted to you oh god no why is my life like this" realization came over him.

But. You know.

I don't think he regrets it in a serious way. It was an important moment in both of their lives -- it meant something; it wasn't like he slept with her just for the sake of losing his virginity. It helped both of them get through the worst parts of the darkest time either of them had had to face or endure. Going through Raccoon City itself was the easy part -- fighting was simple, and it kept both of them focused. But it was the aftermath, when the enormity of all that had happened settled down on them -- that was the true nightmare of it all. And they got through it together.

Do I think either of them caught feelings because of it? No, I don't -- so, there was no heartbreak attached to this at any point, either. But it was still emotional and poignant and it mattered, and I think both of them are really glad they did it.

[roxannarambles]

Finally finished playing Legends: Arceus-- the main storyline, at least, I have not completed the full Dex, but I did everything else. Some thoughts below.

So, there's a lot this game has going for it. There are lots of lovely natural environments to run around in and explore, and the pokemon really do feel integrated into a complete world, full of personality and ways of interacting with them you just don't get in other games. The controls feel good, the mounts are very fun to use, the aesthetic is on point, and the story's pretty fun. Crafting is a neat addition to the game, there's plenty of side-quests, and there's some interesting new battle mechanics. Overall, they switch things up from the mainline games and try a lot of new things, which I do commend them for.

But, um. Here's the thing. I really hate the gameplay, for the most part. Which is why I bought the game and really, really wanted to enjoy it, and I tried several times to play through, but each time I got so intensely bored I just couldn't go through with it. Don't get me wrong, catching pokemon and using berries and stun items and other stuff feels good, and it feels fun. For like, the first hour. But you have to keep doing it.

Over and over and over.

I just don't enjoy catching a billion pokemon and grinding out other research tasks, like beating up on wild pokemon in various ways, using a specific move a certain number of times, etc. It's so mindless and dull and grindy and boring. You know how PokemonGo is mostly just . . . catching pokemon? Yeah. That gets old, I hate that. I can see how it's just chill and relaxing for some people, but it just isn't for me. I did my damned best to get into it, I promise, but I never did. It was a slog the whole way.

I tried to make it more interesting to me by doing a "bug only challenge." I was only allowed to catch and use bug types, the whole game. (The exceptions are plot-required catches: namely, the Tutorial pokemon and a Dusknoir at some point in the main storyline) And it . . . was sorta nice, I guess? But it didn't do much to make it more fun to me. In some ways it made it even more of a slog since it's harder to earn Star Ranks when you're severely limiting the species you catch. Still, I'm kinda proud I was able to do it, I guess?

Trainer battles in the game are frustrating, too, due to their rarity. You do have battles in the game, and new battle mechanics to try out, too, which gives you a desire to have battles-- especially since it can break up the monotonous research tasks. However, battles are so incredibly rare, and typically incredibly, incredibly easy and are over in almost an instant. You never get to really use the pokemon you've trained. And I get it, the emphasis of the game is research, not battling, since battling is still in its infancy in this era. It still feels frustrating though. I craved battles.

I didn't get to ever feel attached to my team, either. Since most of the game involves research tasks, a lot of those tasks involve battling against wild pokemon. If I used my main team for all that, they'd get way overlevelled in a hurry. So I was always using different individuals. I hardly ever saw my main team, so I did not get the chance to bond with them emotionally-- especially since we rarely had trainer battles anyway.

I didn't feel attached to most of the characters in the game either, to be frank. This isn't any fault of the writing, I actually think the writing was very strong in this game, this is more of just a personal preference. The Pokemon Professor is fine enough, but I never got over the disgusting pube-hair look he has going on his face (I am allowed to dislike characters for shallow reasons, okay). Rei was okay, but I certainly didn't feel fond over him. The leaders of the Pearl and Diamond clans were okay I guess, but the 'arguments' about time and space were so fucking stupid and took up most their screen time, so it kind of ruins them. I just, I dunno, I didn't feel strongly about any of them.

Except for Volo. I always liked him. (The moment I saw him I hoped he was a butch lesbian and got all excited. When I found out he was a dude I was a bit disappointed but oh well, he's still pretty) He was friendly and charismatic and I appreciated his curiosity and his wanderer's spirit.

It's a shame I didn't play and finish the game when I first bought it, because then I might not have been spoiled to Volo's little twist at the end. But, finding out Volo's heavy involvement in the game and the twist at the end was what motivated me to bother finishing the game, so. There's that. I really don't think anything else would have motivated me, because the gameplay was just such a slog for me.

I am glad I bothered to finish the main story, though. It was interesting. I do love the premise of people being very wary and frightened of pokemon and exploring that kind of world. Portraying pokemon in a scarier role was a bold move for the franchise and I love them exploring that side. I LOVE pokemon chasing after you and attacking you directly and the 'alpha' pokemon mechanic and the spookiness of it all. And the story is honestly a neat one. The idea of MC being displaced in time and space and having to work for their room and board has a cozy-survival feel to it, and the deep mistrust of everyone and slowly earning their respect was interesting. Although I did feel actively annoyed that no matter how much work I did, and how many requests I fulfilled, people still often treated me with mistrust. But I think that was the point, to be honest!

When you quell the final Noble and the sky goes boom, that's when things get truly fun, though. I love that Kamado turns on you, which was not too surprising since he'd been one of the ones who really banged on and on about mistrusting you the most. I LOVE the short scene of showing you being walked out of the village as you're banned. I LOVED the feeling of being suddenly on your own, and I LOVE that both Pearl and Diamond clans turned their backs on you so that they wouldn't risk war with Galaxy. And who is there when you have no one else to turn to, alone in the wilderness, when you need a friend the most?

Volo.

He brings you to Cogita, where she fulfills the heavy burden of Exposition Lady. The years of bearing that burden of Exposition have turned her tired and a little snippy, apparently (in truth she's only snippy with Volo, and I think it's because she senses a bad aura, but from an innocent standpoint it seems needlessly snippy, since Volo's Mask is a genuinely nice guy and he's given a nearly flawless performance). I don't know if Cogita was even needed for the story, since Volo's specialty is myth research and he could have easily given us that exposition and also given us a neutral ground to shelter at while the other clans turned their backs on us. But whatever, they wanted a Cynthia ancestor, I can understand that. Dang her house was pretty to look at, and the music there was great. They really put effort into that part.

And then you go and forge the red chain and climb the mountain and . . . potato guy? Why are you here? Oh, he's randomly a ninja. Actually, that part was hilarious and I loved it, I had a grudge against Beni the ENTIRE game because he didn't want to serve me his stupid mochi, so I was so excited to kick his ass. And the extra lore was nice, not to mention the extremely rare chance to have a battle. Anyway, after that, you battle the boss and then take care of the scary Legendary pokemon and all that jazz, and the story . . . ends. Rather abruptly, to be honest. It felt a bit sudden, as if Act 2 was cut a little short. I think it's because the post-game is still what you'd call the main story. Post-game content normally is extra, bonus stuff, but man, if you skip the post-game plot in Arceus, you'll be missing a whole chunk of actual story. Tbh I think they shouldn't have rolled credits 'til the end of the Volo battle, but that's nitpicking. Besides, it amuses me to think some people stopped after the credits and never learned the truth about Volo, which is just a hilarious thought.

Act 3 takes place after a festival celebrating the fact MC saved the world and the Diamond and Pearl clans no longer need to fight (sadly, we don't get to see the festival though!! other than a tiny photo in the credits!) It's pretty short and mostly running around doing errands involving facing off against legendaries and mythicals; the most satisfying errand was a rematch with Kamado because it was a trainer battle aaaaaa!! So few of those. And then we climb the mountain again because Volo, um, really wants to meet the creator's 'unwanted child' for some reason . . . sounds like a good idea right??

The battle with him was fun. Having Cynthia's banger theme was hype, didn't expect it. I was doing the bug challenge run, my team was levels ~60-65, and I beat him on my first go, down to my last pokemon, Heracross on full health.

And then he brings out Giratina without letting me heal. Ahaha, uhhm.

Thankfully I had a lot of Max Revives stuffed in my bag which I FINALLY had a use for. The second phase for Giratina was not expected, so that was a fun surprise, but I scraped by on a few more max revives and careful juggling, and we won. (I dunno what happens once you meet Arceus itself, because I think I need to 100% the Dex for that to happen, but presumably our character can finally return home.)

Was it a good game? Yes, objectively speaking, definitely. I think Legends: Arceus was a very strong game. The writing was very good, and that's a precious rarity in Pokemon games. The world itself was carefully designed, polished, pretty, and felt like truly exploring nature and encountering pokemon, in a unique and refreshing way. The gameplay tried something very new and it generally implemented its intentions very well-- it felt fun to control the character, to throw pokeballs, to craft and collect items, to use mounts, and go up against the Nobles. The story and the universe cast pokemon in an exciting new perspective.

It's just a shame that a million grindy research tasks are so utterly boring to carry out, because the main thrust of the game and what you spend the most time on just plain sucked for me to do. So much so, that I did not enjoy most of my experience playing this game. But oh well, what can you do?

[agonycrossbow]

Remake Claire took Remake Leon's virginity headcanon

So, in OG canon, RE2 ends with Leon being all amped up to go after Umbrella. This apparently ends up with him and Claire in an argument about the next steps to take, and he all but shoves her to go in the opposite direction of him and Sherry so that she can find Chris -- and then Leon and Sherry get picked up by the CIA just a few hours later.

Like, that whole thing happens really fucking fast in OG. Leon has not had a chance to sleep in the time between driving into Raccoon City and being kidnapped into CIA custody.

And yet, somehow, despite this, Claire is able to keep in contact with Leon to the point of being able to email him during the events of Code Veronica??? Like, it makes absolutely no fucking sense at all, and Capcom never bothered to try to explain it specifically because it's complete plot convenience nonsense lmao

So I feel like this is one of the changes that Remake is making -- because RE2make did not end with the same tone as OG RE2. RE2make ends with Leon looking at Claire and Sherry as his immediate priority, and if any Umbrella shit pops up, they'll deal with it then.

Leon's wording during the intro of RE4make is suspect, too -- that he was "later asked" by the CIA to join up. That makes me think that this didn't happen right away -- that there was at least a handful of days, or even maybe a full week, in between him escaping Raccoon City and the CIA getting a hold of him. And this is sort of backed up by the lingering nerve damage in his left shoulder in RE4make -- he probably carried that open gunshot wound around for a bit longer in Remake than he did in OG canon.

(side note: I know that the photo of Leon that Krauser has been very uhhhh attached to, let's say, looks like Leon was literally just taken off the streets like he was in OG canon, but like. Capcom wasn't going to make a whole new, cleaned up version of his RE2make character model just for Krauser's jerk off fantasies LMAO it was just easier to put in his endgame RE2make model there)

So this meant that there was a not-insignificant amount of time in Remake canon where Leon, Claire, and Sherry were basically playing house, so to speak, while Leon and Claire tried to figure out what to do next.

I imagine this is when it happened.

You've got these two college-aged kids trapped in a domestic situation together after escaping from an actual literal waking nightmare together. They're hurting not just physically, but emotionally. They've been isolated from the rest of the world and have only each other to trust and confide in and try to figure out a way of coping with any of it and moving forward.

Yeah, that's going to boil over at some point very quickly. Any number of things could have been the trigger point for it.

It could have been Claire helping Leon keep his wound clean and feeling like she's actually helping in a way that matters while he's a little overwhelmed by someone taking care of him.

Or it could have been a melancholic moment where they're both lost and directionless and feeling helpless, and they both end up looking for some comfort in each other, because that's all they have.

Or it could have been a tense moment when one or both of them can't make sense of why they're still alive -- or if they're still alive, and they just need to feel something to remind themselves they're still human.

Or it could have been a quiet moment in the middle of the night, where neither one of them says anything at all, and neither one of them is quite sure just how Claire ended up on Leon's lap while he kisses her as though he's afraid she'll disappear if he stops.

It doesn't really matter what it was. No matter what happened, it happened.

And I don't think that Leon would have told her up front that only the first two fingers on his right hand know what the inside of a vagina feels like. She probably suspected it when she noticed how nervous he was, and she definitely figured it out after the third time he went too far and accidentally pulled out of her completely mid-thrust instead of just pulling back -- but I don't think that this was information that he volunteered.

But Claire was probably the awakening of Leon's praise kink, because I'm sure that once she did figure it out, she literally took him by the hands and walked him through it. And after a few comments along the lines of "You're a fast learner" and "That's it, you've got it" and "Keep going, just like that" and "You're doing so fucking good" -- Leon learned something about himself that he did not know previously.

I don't think he regrets it, and I don't think that he ever will.

Well, I mean, I'm sure he regrets it a little whenever she decides to hold it over his head later in life, because she's Claire Redfield and there's absolutely zero chance that she's going to let him forget that she was the one who taught him how to please a woman.

And he probably regretted it a little bit the first time that he ever had to look Chris in the face.

And then also one other time way later down the line when it hit him that he was now much closer to Chris than he was to Claire, and that weird "oh my god I fucked your sister, and now I'm also kind of attracted to you oh god no why is my life like this" realization came over him.

But. You know.

I don't think he regrets it in a serious way. It was an important moment in both of their lives -- it meant something; it wasn't like he slept with her just for the sake of losing his virginity. It helped both of them get through the worst parts of the darkest time either of them had had to face or endure. Going through Raccoon City itself was the easy part -- fighting was simple, and it kept both of them focused. But it was the aftermath, when the enormity of all that had happened settled down on them -- that was the true nightmare of it all. And they got through it together.

Do I think either of them caught feelings because of it? No, I don't -- so, there was no heartbreak attached to this at any point, either. But it was still emotional and poignant and it mattered, and I think both of them are really glad they did it.

[nightshadow2518]

You ever really thought hard how Yuna and Kaidoul had almost a very similar backstory? Hear me out before anything

Yuna Goha

It is very obvious to me whenever I talk about her character that her attachment towards people is strongly connected through if they could accept her. Rovain accepted her so she made her the big center focus of her life. She would do absolutely anything for her gaze even if it meant doing things that was a bit unorthodox. Now, she has almost a similar reaction to when yoga does the same reaction. When Rovain didn't reciprocate her feelings (despite Go Rush proving that wrong) the only way she was able to do it is by confronting ahead on and letting go. By moving on she was able to finish her story arc

Kaidoul

I'm not going to get too deep into his backstory as we all know it and I don't want to upset the person who even made me realize what I'm about to write. In short, it was a tragic character from the start and I absolutely appreciate how the ending was for him. If it is worth anything I'd say he has the best ending out of all Go Rush stories. However back on how it relates to Yuna, he also craved praise and acceptance from the Creator. Somebody who accepted him and he adored them for it. Somebody he was willing to even go as far as the causing so many issues for.

But why is this important? Think about how Yuna's focus episode was. Yuga was literally the representation of the creator. Somebody who created such amazing things but was always absent as he had better things to do with his own creations. In a sense, Yuga's absence within Yuna's fake world was almost how the Creator was there but was emotionally absent to Kaidoul. Even at the end it was world-shattering to the point where it felt like nothing was right. I didn't notice how similar these two stories kind of felt until...a crack idea. And it's almost something I probably would have never came together if it wasn't for that person. I mean even the visuals

They feel so similar and kind of give off the same vibe. A heartbroken moment with a person who means the most is fading away (or in Kaidoul's case. Both of them) but what's also similar in these moments is that both of them was a moment of acceptance. Accepting that sometimes the ending you may want is not the ending you're going to get. (I also noticed the time stamps are similar-)

Perhaps I'm reaching too deep and this is all just a bunch of Muma jumbo at 4:00 a.m. but my friend isn't online so you all will do

Edit: 6:01am

The similarities becomes a little bit more scary when you remember Yuga/Creator/Otes bs. Yes I know it's weird that I remembered it kind of late but I haven't gotten sleep I'm going to go to sleep now

[miratenebrarum]

@de-fright-ful

Hi Gio! I’m spontaneously manifesting into your inbox with a strangely specific character writing prompts! Haha. Anywho! Disregarding the low hanging fruit of characters bound in a very literal way to objects. Do any of your characters find themselves getting emotionally attached to things they really shouldn’t? Such as objects, tools, routines, rituals, etc. If yes, does this attachment to these things limit them in any way? (Being unable to throw out objects/tools when they stop being useful, being frightened and upset if they’re lost, getting too comfortable in a routine and not able to separate themselves from it?) And bonus points! Are they self-aware enough to know they tend to become emotionally attached to these things?

[ HOOOH BOY OKAY THIS IS FUN because generally speaking? Most of my muses don't really care for. earthly possessions, let's say. some because they see them just as a mean to get something done, such as Enki with his books, some other because they really pay no mind to a specific object in particular -- 166 wants a bible with her whenever possible and Zazel plays around with her puppets, for example, but neither would really mind if those items were replaced with anything else, or Eugénie with her tools that could, and most often than not have to be replaced, even if she takes care of them as if they're her babies.

of course ignoring poor Dr.Shaw who's literally bound to a fucked up cursed amulet, weeeeell.

while he occasionally picks up random garbage during the game as well, P becomes. Something dangerously close to a hoarder in his post-game verse. Rather than the items themselves, with maybe the exception of vynils, he's more attached to the idea of the memories a certain item might bring - a lost pacifier that belonged to a child born during the frenzy, what remains of a portrait a man made for his lover, an old newspaper that talked about the anniversary of Krat. he's aware of his attachments, but doesn't see the issue with it.

Karl and his violin. Yea i could talk about Arma since. She's technically an object, but that's different, right? He's very attached to the violin, and to his little pub, and to his weekly solo concerts, and the memories that are still well hidden in that abandoned area of the park. Almost jealous, even. He knows well it's not a good way to deal with his mixed thoughts when it comes to Rachel, but at this point. What can you do?

Might as well play some Mozart and move on with your day. And hope nobody feels like interrupting and getting stabbed.

And lastly, Bendy and his merch. Wether it's a matter of ego or, once again, clinging on way better days, he doesn't know. Hell, I don't know either!!! maybe it's a mix of both.

Once again, it's not really healthy nor he's going to stop complaining whenever someone moves his plushies slightly on the left while cleaning. It's in character for him, anyway ]