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Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa
don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us
okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up
1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks
2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis
3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe
as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal
ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this
for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk
4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do
i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well
i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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I need to say some stuff about the election. Voting is a choice. But it's not only a choice - it's a privilege. A privilege that may be taken from us if trump wins. Everyone should be free to vote for who they want to vote for, but this election isn't like other elections - more is at stake now than has ever been during my lifetime, and probably during yours, too. Millions of people across the world are depending on you to make the right decision, not just for yourself, but for them. I'm sorry if what I'm about to say would mean sacrificing your morals, I'm sorry that everything is so broken that this is the position we're in, but: it doesn't matter what you think. I don't care if you don't like Kamala. I don't care if you hate her pro-Israel nonsense. Vote anyway. Vote for her anyway. If you are a one-issue voter and this makes you not want to vote? You may never get the chance again. Kamala wants a ceasefire; trump wants to wipe every Palestinian from the face of the earth. Kamala won't strip away your rights; trump has done nothing but take things away from us. If you are gay and you want to keep the right to adopt, to marry, to work with protection from discrimination in the workplace, to get somewhere to live without being turned away because you're gay? Vote Kamala. If you wan tot get married to someone who's a different race than you? Vote Kamala. Because Trump is trying to take all of this away from us.
A vote for third party is a vote for trump. I know we all want to be able to vote for who we actually agree with, actually want running the country, and in a perfect world you'd be able to without risking so much, but this is not a perfect world. This is not an ordinary election. If Harris loses by one vote and I didn't vote, I would spend the next four years blaming myself for every loss, every death, every new genocide. And it might not only be four years - not if trump gets his way. He wants to rule forever. Don't let him. Vote Harris.
#I'm sorry that we're in this position. I'm sorry that I'm asking people to sacrifice what they believe in. I'm sorry we're at this point#but if I wake up in three weeks to a dictatorship#to more weapons to israel and russia#to losing my rights to healthcare working housing marraige everything? And you didn't vote to prevent that?#It's on you. You need to think critically and exercise your voting power strategically not morally. I know this will make people#uncomfortable but too fucking bad. Better uncomfortable for the three seconds it takes to tick a box than tens of thousands of more deaths#losing this election is more than politics. It's more than who's in charge. It's our entire damn future#Vote#vote blue#vote democrat#vote harris#tumblr#us elections#american elections#election 2024#us politics
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oh boy its my favorite day where nonusamericans condescendingly explain to me that the election effects other countries too and therefore i need to be even more terrified than however terrified i already am
#like. yeah. i know it effects yall too. however as a person Living In The Country In Question i feel like assuming we have no idea that#the results of this election could be bad is uhhhhh a bad assumption to make#as a Certified Transgender™ i already bave enough anxiety abt this on my plate#like. take a minute to think abt ur audience here. do yall rlly think the people on tumblr dot com arent already scared of what will happen#if trump wins. do you for real think you need to be adding extra anxiety into the mix. do you actually think we are unaware of the stakes#or do you think maybe. perhaps. possibly. we already know. and just havent been talking about it because We Already Know#idk i just get fucking exhausted coming on here to be greeted by ppl going umm you stupid americans have no idea how important this is#no actually /you/ have no idea how important this is because you Dont Fucking Live Here#we're fucking aware that this will have knock on effects across the world. right now im more concerned about the Direct Effects#origibberish#idk. ive just been getting the impression lately that a lot of yall see yourselves as inherently smarter irt us politics than the average#us citizen / that us citizens are by default Stupid And Uneducated. and it starts to grate after a bit.#We Fucking Know. we're strapped to the trolley tracks right beside you. like. the idea that we're the ones steering the trolley is#propaganda.#it's like when europeans get all haughty abt 'lmaooo imagine not having free healthcare' like. bbgirl you are not punching up.
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Me as a non-american watching there be an actual struggle voting between a black woman and a convicted felon found guilty on 34 charges who has a history of being a homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, racist, predatory danger to anyone with a pulse that isn't a cishet white man and finding out that he's somehow in the lead 💀
I know most politicians are so evil that they outlive the average joe because they are propped up by the puppet strings of Satan himself, but I'm kinda hoping he dies before he can make any real damage (for legal reasons this is a joke).
Anger and unsurprised astonishment aside, stay safe, y'all. Really hoping you guys are gonna be Ok. I'm going to be fuming extra hard on your behalves.
#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#donald trump#harris sucks too btw but goddamn there's clearly a right and 100% definitely do NOT vote him wrong here like what is wrong with people#i wasn't planning to be back on tumblr at least for another week or two but this is so fucking bad#american politics are straight up fever nightmares#i can't really say much for comfort cuz i'm not living this but please get some rest eat something stay hydrated and try to keep busy#please vent your feelings on fanfics. please buy muffins from the store. please indulge in some yaoi/yuri. please hug your favourite blorbo#please cry if you have to. literally please survive through this. it's going to get worse before it gets better but you'll be ok. i think#momento rambles
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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Growling biting hissing screaming Tumblr dot com doesn't have a real fandom for Requiem For A Dream crying screaming throwing up
Tw: caps and drug mentioned
WHENEVER I OPEN THE TAG FOR THIS MOVIE IT'S ALL ABOUT MARIAM AND HARRY'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND GIF/SCREENSHOTS ABOUT THEIR LOVE AND ITS SOOO FRUSTRATING
Like it's nice that people can relate to their love but THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT HOW DRUGS RUINED THEIR LIVES. WHY DO I HAVE TO OPEN YOUTUBE AND GOOGLE TO SEE DISCUSSIONS ABOUT IT???!! WHY CANT WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY SHOTS ARE DONE AND HOW ACTORS KILLED IT AND HOW SAD THEIR LIVES HAVE BECAME AND HOW NEITHER SARAH NOR HARRY KNOWS HOW TERRIBLE EACH OTHER BECAME BECAUSE OF DRUGS???
Sarah, if she even has consciousness at this point, is probably thinking at least her dear, handsome son is studying at a great university and doing better than her; while Harry could only wish that his dear mother is doing much better than how him and his friends are doing.
AND WHAT ABOUT SARAH'S NEIGHBOURS?? THEY SUGGESTED THE FAKE/BAD DOCTOR TO HER, SO SHE CAN LOOSE WEIGHT FASTER! THEY WERE CLEARLY HORRIFIED TO SEE HER GET OUT OF HER HOUSE TOWARDS THE END OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE SARAH WAS HORRIBLE?? WHAT ABOUT THE GUILT OF KILLING YOUR CLOSE FRİEND UNINTENTIONALLY??
AND MARIAM LITERALLY GAVE HER BODY TO PAY THE BILLS AND TYSON GOT LOCKED UP IN PRISON FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE AND HARRY LOST HIS ARM AND SARAH FUCKING DIED (?) AND AAAA
Why the fans (?) here are not talking about the characters and events of this movie instead of posting the same sex/love scene between Marian and Harry 74747th time???? Their love is just the part of this movie, but it's not what it is about!!!
#badger posts shit#requiem for a dream#2000s movies#btw i'm sure if i'm remembering Sarah's friends seeing her scene towards the end or making it up#the one before she went on the bus/metro to join to show#ALSO DONT EVEN TELL ME THAT THIS MOVIE IS OLD THEREFORE IT'S NOT REALLY CARED FOR#M A A A AAANY CLASSIC HORROR MOVIES THAT ARE FAMOUS STILL TO THIS DAY ARE FROM THE SAME AREA AS REQUIEM FOR A DREAM!!!!#IF YOU CAN LOVE SAW AND FINAL DESTINATION AND FRIDAY THE 13TH AND SCREAM AND HALLOWEEN; THAN YOU CAN LOVE RFAD TOO#IT DESERVES TO BE FAMOUS AND GET DISCUSSES ABOUT TOO FFS!! NOT TO BE TURNED INTO ANOTHER ONE OF TUMBLR'S LOVE STORY POSTS#THIS MOVIE IS NOT ANOUT MARIAM AND HARRY'S LOVE ITS ABOUT ADDICTION AND DRŰGS AND HOW IT RUINS LIVES#btw its fine if Mariam and Harry's love gives you comfort idc.#but its so fucking frustrating for me to open the tags for this movie only to see Mariam and Harry kissing and fűcking each other 558th time#instead of reading discussions about the movie#i was watching the movie with my mom and her friend and THAT ARM scene made us all gag because it was just so gross but in a good way#because you as an audience can see how fucked up his arm was - even Tyson could see it and reacted to it -#but Harry decided to Do It anyways! and it ended up turning into a Bad Thing for him (trying to be as vauge as possible lol)#WHY WE HAGE NO DISCUSSION ABOUT THE INFECTED (?) ARM SCENE??!! AND SARAH'S HALLUCINATIONS?#AND REST OF THE MOVIE AND ACTORS LIKE A FANDOM INSTEAD OF POSTING THE THING OVER AND OVER???
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Feel like I should explain that my activity is like. Weird rn bc I am not on anyy medications. So. Projects, asks, drawing and writing in general, etc. Are kind of on like a weird hold (against my will. My brain is holding me hostage here) until I get that fixed, which should be soon I think. Until then I might post stuff about games I'm playing or like old art I just never posted before. I just can't do a lot in the creative department atm. Working on it though.
But yeah if I haven't responded to you or you notice any lack of updates on something rest assured I'm not ignoring it on purpose and it'll get done eventually. Thank y'all for being here and being supportive <3 you guys are awesome.
Have this silly picture of our cat in the meantime :3
Isn't he so whimsical
#roadkill rambles#Games I'm playing mostly includes my attempts at getting Hollow Knight's fucked up and evil achievements (steel soul and speedruns and pant#Blasphemous gameplay bc I finally bought it on sale. It's rlly rlly good though.#And my murderous rampages in Rain World. also trying to get some of the harder achievements for that one rn#An artdump of stuff I made before I started using tumblr isn't a bad idea too there's some really good stuff in there#Maybe copy/pasted oc/au lore. We'll see what I can manage.
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no, i dont think im obligated to still small talk an hour into my meet up with a friend group ive been a part of for 2 years, and i dont think im overreacting or showing a lack of loyalty when im unsatisfied with such a conversation. As someone who hates small talk, that friend group isn't for me, and i get nothing from it, and i will choose not to feel like a weirdo (derogatory) or a traitor (..because we didn't promise each other we'd be together forever afaik), for being unsatisfied and leaving. ive shown them affection (that i didnt fully feel) for as long as i could
#switching to small talk bc i dont vibe with them is something my mom suggested#i know they feel the same but even then i think it feels bad to suddenly end it.#probably bc i dont want them to see how bad id treat them if we werent friends. i dont want them to hate me even more#but also i have to come to terms with the fact i will have no friend group if things go this way#because i dont talk to ppl and better ppl wont magically materialise in my dms#or on the lone forest bench i sit on when biking or at the rpg sessions i go to. bc people there are never my type#ppl on the bench are too rich and sporty and ppl on the rpg are too sigma male#im pretty much only hoping ill meet people in college or at art classes irl. or a convention but i didnt even have time to go this year#i should start meeting ppl online but if i dont show my face (online games) it usually doesnt go anywhere#and if i do show my face (tinder) and i mess up (like you do on tinder which is a risky place)#im losing the limited queer people in my city forever. im using up a very finite resource#i could go to meet ppl on tumblr but we will never go to voice call bc its not what you do here#conclusion: what i should do is join more random fandom discords thru tumblr and wait til theyre on call#(<- option A.)#or wait til im in some classes and join a discord with people from my school but not my class#(<- option B.)#however i dont even want to talk to people#fuck people. im tired of people#theres a number of ways i could make friends but i hate everyone i meet and am constantly pissed off and dissatisfied#i may just be aplatonic#its hard to come to terms with
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mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.
#it was so good tho#like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked#the fight scenes🤌#the environments/settings🤌#all of the fuckin machinery🤌#the acting🤌#the everything🤌#yum#also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy..#i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it#sorta vent->#but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part#because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝#just tee bee ehch#and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit#so i just went to sleep#and i was busy today#yesterday*#and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit#idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is#i felt a bit better yesterday though#and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea#hopefully that helps soonish idk#i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here#also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged#so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there#why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg#anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow#idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea#talkin shit
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staring at some old posts like 'i have regrets'.
#venting in the tags below#its nothing about anyone specifically just as a general fandom view#of one specific fandom that we wont tag#just left that little buffer right there so if you dont want to read you dont have to. there is a lighter note at the end.#but that fandom just... sucks overall. dont get me wrong! we loved it as a kid#but its just... the same issues different characters. a divide amongst everyone.#and nothing can really be done about it because its just.. there.#you cant stop it.#no matter what: what you do is wrong.#weve tried in that fandom for years. literal years.#and its always been an outcasting feeling.#at first: we were too mature. then: too old. now: just plan old fucked and wanting to stay away from certain characters#'so you hate them?' no. they hurt and bring up bad memories.#'so youre not supportive?' i am supportive. its completely fine for me to say its not my cup of tea. because its not my cup of tea.#its... a shame really. but im glad that the bodys mom is able to see us smile again from a new place. much more accepting and comfortable.#its nice. it really is. i feel welcomed and like i belong around here.#i dont feel shamed for being sourced from the fandom im in#it feels.... nice. it feels like home. like this is where we were meant to be.#thank you. im glad we came back to tumblr. im glad that were still here. im glad that -despite everything- were still fighting the world#we may even have a better job opportunity than ever before! finally getting some sort of sleep at night. finally feel.. just safe overall.#safe on tumblr that is#i know we wont truly ever be safe. but one step at a time. one step at a time.#the fire fighter
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um..... ruh roh....
HELP???
I let my imagination run too well?? I think???
#Fuck#it was late at night and I wanted to finish up some “If Dogday had sharp teeth” drawings.#There was extra space so I decided to let my imagination run freely#But it worked too well!!#I was meant to see Dogday as a comfort character!#TF!?!?!#Too bad I love this a lot though.#Since this was all just to test on “changing up my style”#The teeth was just for fun but.... I feel a bit tempted to keep making him have teeth for some reason#naahhh#I like him teethless.#that's how dogday already us so I'll continue making him teethless#It was fun though giving the big doggie chompers#anyways#dogday#rambles#artists on tumblr#traditional art#Accidental drawing gone right???#dogday poppy playtime#poppy playtime#poppy playtime dogday#dogday fanart#poppy playtime 3#poppy playtime chapter 3#poppy playtime fanart
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i kind of need to be like skinned or put into a meat grinder or something . lol .
#personal#vent#vent in tags#maybe i can just boil myself alive instead#im so SICK of being the one to be actively concerned with all my friends' health & having to tell them to take care of themselves#'yeah i threw up from a hangover on the way here and i havent eaten in like 3 days and i dont do anything other than work and sleep'#ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME#'i only shower once a week' we can tell 'and i dont ever use shampoo. and im still surviving off a diet of just top ramen and dr pepper'#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST. TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF#'i havent made a doctors appointment for this possibly life threatening issue yet' im actually going to start sobbing .#IM NOT. MAD AT ANY OF MY FRIENDS TO BE CLEAR#but god its so fucking tiring. to be one of maybe two people to actually go 'hey that is really concerning please take care of yourself'#and then i cant fucking. take care of myself & i dont have the energy to think about my friends health anymore and i feel bad about it#i am NOT the pinnacle of health. but got damb !! if ur gonna not take care of yourself please do not tell me about it i get so so worried#& then my mother . god. waves vaguely at any interaction i have with her. doesnt make it any better#im so sick i need out of this house & out of this town get me outta here ! id thrive in pokemon put me in the pokeverse or some shit PLEASE#if ur the one person who i mentioned in tags thats also on tumblr pls pls know i am not mad at you im just so stressed always#& i care for u so deeply & it worries me so bad that u/ur family havent made more progress towards getting the issue solved .#(u probably won't see this post anyways but if u do. i just want it to be clear)#ANYWAYS it just crazy how i can bounce so rapidly from 'im not even human' to 'i am Too human'. and iam so so sick .of it.#if a single customer even makes eye contact with me at work tomorrow im going to gnaw my left pinky off in front of them i stg
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i need to fuckign explode
#i need to talk tohim i need to talk to him i need to talk to him i need to tlak to him but i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaant bc im too scared of that lol#it was on my mind two months ago it was on my mind a month ago and its on my mind now and it is driving me insane#bjt k dont want to say what it is because thats a can of worms of potential for people to Know i dont want#so glad the guy in question is locked out of tumblr and the other guy involved barely looks at tumblr#only fucking place i can get this thought out even vaguely#i need to talk to both of them bt i cant because i feel like i will die trying to. heart attack on the spot#as much as i dont want him to i hope he gets a notif for this and asks me sbout it#even though theres no way hed knownim specificslly talking abt him#bc at leas that way it spares me the fucking nightmare kf bringing it up to someone#and its like. objectively not s problem#if i just used my words and talked it out it would be done so fast.but the problem is even though i talk to both of them so much#the thought of talking to them abt this specific thing scares me so bad that#i think if i sent a text about it i would close discord snd not open it for 2 years#sighghhggggghhghgghhhggh ive been rlly good abt not venting on tumblr lately bc i didnt like doing it in the first plsce but#there is literally nowhere else for me to complain about this in a spacethat i am comfortable complaining sbt it in#that does not include one of the affected guys#lycan howls
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