#tomorrow i am going to be 29

[capseycartwright]

Every year, the night before my birthday, I write myself a letter. I’ve done it every year since I was eighteen, the first of these written the summer before I turned nineteen, at the end of my first year of university. That means this is the tenth year I have done this: a whole decade of my life immortalised in these self-reflective letters. I started doing this because I had just lived the best year of my life, and I didn’t want to forget it. Eighteen was an utterly transformative year for me - I started university, and my life changed for the better in ways I feel like I am only appreciating now. It feels fitting, somehow, that my twenty-eighth year of life has been transformative too - just, in different ways.

The end of my twenties has felt like a rapidly approaching freight train - quick, and entirely out of my control. After I started university, I didn’t think too far ahead. I had worked so hard for most of my teenage years to be able to study my dream course, and to have that opportunity to reinvent myself, and when I finally had it - I drowned in it, in the very best ways. I think I made the most of every second of university. I joined societies - I was even president of one, for a while - and I was elected to the student union, and I felt like I made a difference in my university community. I went on trips, and I studied the most fascinating subjects, and I never, ever wanted it to be over. Except it ended - because as much as we want these times of our lives to last forever, chapters end, so that new ones can begin.

I’ve felt like another chapter of my life is coming to an end, this year. I don’t quite know how to articulate why I know that - I haven’t made any wild, or significant changes to my life this year that would warrant it feeling like a new chapter: and it doesn’t feel like a new chapter. No, it feels like I am living out the final pages of a chapter of my life I have loved so much, and that the end is on the horizon - not quite here, yet, but close enough that I can see it in the distance. Change is coming, the writing is on the wall - I am just not quite sure how that change is going to manifest. It’s strange, to grieve a life you are still living, but it isn’t an unfamiliar feeling. My final few months of university, I felt that grief so deeply - it was the end of one of the greatest chapters of my life, and I couldn’t imagine then how anything could ever match up to the joy I felt every day of the four years I did my undergrad. I need to remind myself now, more than ever, that while nothing ever matched up in the exact same way, the chapters of my life that have come after that have all been incredible adventures in their own right.

Seven years ago, I upended my whole life and moved to a city I had never even visited before. That’s crazy. Every time I see it written down like that, I think - who let me do that? But I have always been unstoppably determined, and so my sweet, kind, loving parents waved me off and knew that they had to let me go. Loving someone - or something - means letting it go, sometimes. That sounds quite grandiose, I know, but it's another reminder I need. Sometimes you can love things and know that it is still over - that is it time to let go, even if you still feel that love so deeply. That you can love, and know it isn’t right anymore - that it doesn’t fit quite right, like an old pair of shoes, still comfortable but your toes are squished at the front, a clear sign they’re not destined to be your favourite shoes anymore.

I love the life I have built for myself. I will carry this life with me wherever I go, for as long as I live. That sounds dramatic, I know, but it’s the truth. I moved here, all alone again, at twenty-three years of age, and I made my dreams come true. I’m really fucking proud of that. It’s cliche, but being in your twenties isn’t easy. You become so many different versions of yourself, breaking down and rebuilding over, and over, and over. It’s exhausting, to have to grow into yourself so constantly, but it's rewarding, all the same. I think if I sat down across the table from the girl who wrote the first of these birthday posts, completely unaware of what a staple of my life they would become, we’d have a lot to say to each other.

I’d tell her - he doesn’t want you back. I know you want him to, but he doesn’t. He’ll stay your friend, and he’ll love you - and tell you he loves you - but it will never be in the way you want it to be. It’s okay, really, because if he had loved you the way you had wanted him to, you would never have left - and you needed to leave. He did you both a favour. There will be other boys. Some will be kind, and some won’t be, but you’ll learn more about yourself with each person you date. Sometimes it will be small things - like, you really don’t like to play chess - and sometimes it will be bigger, more fundamental things, but they all add up to give you a clearer picture of the person you want to be with. You know what you’re looking for now. You know what you’re worth, now. You are not a consolation prize, a girl that should be loved in secret because her body is heavier, softer. You are deserving of love, and someone will. We haven’t found them yet, I’d have to admit - but if there is a trait I have never lost in my life, it’s my affinity to be a completely hopeless romantic. We’ll find them. There’s someone you’d like it to be - but that needs time, and it needs decisions that aren’t yours to make, and so it needs patience, which is not a natural skill of mine but is necessary in this moment. I hope twenty-nine year old me has more to say about it when she sits down to write this post a year from now.

Your family is going to look different to how you’d like it to. I’d tell her that too. It’s a long, sad story that I’m honestly tired of telling now. But, different isn’t bad. I’d reassure her of that. Every Easter, you’ll travel with your mum and dad, and you’ll see new cities and climb countless towers in pursuit of good views. You’ll eat good food with them, and cheers to your mum and dad still being your best friends, and you’ll file every single one of those memories away for when you need them most. You’ll be closer than ever to one of your brothers - you’ll encourage each other to be kids again, and his kid helps with that too. Your first nephew made you feel a love you’ve never felt before and sometimes watching him grow up makes you feel like your heart is walking around outside of your body. Your niece likes to let you do her hair and you twist perfect braids into the perfect blonde and remember the little girl you once were too and you’ll promise to be everything she ever needs. Your youngest nephew is your brothers double and he smiles so sweetly at you as he learns to walk, and talk. It’s different - but it's still good. Life doesn’t have to look picture perfect for it to be good. I’d tell her that too.

I’d tell her so many things. I’d tell her she gets really into hiking, because the people she does it with are so much fun. I’d tell her that she gets really into football, for a boy, at first, and then for the love of it, for the excuse it gives to spend time with one of her very best friends. I’d tell her that she really, really gets into rugby - as a balm to soothe the homesickness, at first, and then because it’s a good excuse to call her dad more often. I’d tell her she finally buys that camera, and it brings her more joy than she even thought it would - capturing the people and places I love has been a revelation in learning to appreciate them all more. I’d tell her that you don’t just find your tribe once - you find your people over, and over, in the most unexpected of places, and there will be lonely times where you realise how much the people around you truly do care, and you’ll come to accept you don’t just have one place in this world: you have so many places you belong, and to never forget what a privilege that is.

I’d tell her none of this, in reality. It would be disingenuous of me to write this and pretend as though every moment of the last decade has been a collection of beautiful life lessons that I’m grateful for having gone through - some of those lessons were less than beautiful and I wish I hadn’t lived through them, but one of the things I am trying to accept - and more than accept, embrace - this year is that some things are entirely out of my control, and the only thing I can control is how I react to them. I’m trying to take these things as lessons to learn - each of these tough seasons of my life teach me something, even if I wasn’t quite ready to learn it.

Twenty-eight has been a strange year. I’ve had a tough time with my mental health in a way I wasn’t quite ready for - there has been some of my very best ups, and some serious downs. I don’t necessarily think that is going to change tomorrow morning when I wake up a year older - but what has changed this year is my willingness to ask for help. I have long since described myself as independent to a fault, and this year, I have worked hard to be different, to rely on the people who love me - and to accept that they do really love me. Whether it’s been asking for support at work, or asking for company on my sadder evenings, or just learning how to ask for a hug - I’m able to ask now. I’m really proud of that.

Twenty-eight has been strange, but it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve been thinking back on this year as I write this, and there’s been some truly beautiful moments. I took my dad to the rugby World Cup - a first for us both - and we spent five days in the south of France, swimming and sightseeing and watching rugby. I’d never been on a trip with just my dad before, and it was the most special trip of my life. We made memories I will treasure forever - and the look of sheer childlike joy on my dads face when we walked into the stadium is something I’ll never forget. It was worth every second of the hours I spent virtually queuing to get my hands on tickets.

I’ve spent more evenings that I could count at football matches with some of my closest friends, yelling for our local team as they won - and lost, more often than not - and each of those evenings brought me closer than ever to some of the people I love the most. Living abroad is strange, and creating a family for yourself can feel like an insurmountable task, but I have more good people than I can count and they have soothed the bad days in big and small ways this year - and I’m very grateful for it. Last year, when I wrote this post, I said that I was sure my new flat would be my best move yet - and it has been. My flatmates are some of my very favourite people, and I have spent countless evenings putting the world to rights over our kitchen table, or sitting on one of their bedroom floors as they get ready to go out - and it’s been the dreamiest year in the kind of flat I couldn’t have imagined living in when I moved away six years ago.

That’s been on my mind a lot too. I moved abroad and left Ireland behind six years ago, next month, twenty-three and freshly out of university with the world at my feet, and now I’m 29 (almost, at least) and the world has changed so much. I don’t know if I’m going to live abroad forever. I don’t think you ever know for sure where you want to be when you’ve built your life away from the place you grew up. But I know one thing for sure - this has been one of the greatest chapters of my life, and I am forever grateful for that twenty-three year old girl for being brave enough to get on a plane alone and not look back. It’s not that I never looked back - I did, I do, every so often - but I stopped myself from lingering too long and have embraced this hectic, brilliant, often mundane life abroad. I’ll always be glad I spent my twenties living abroad. It’s changed me for the better, and how could I not be grateful for that? For the experiences, the people - the ways the world has grown to feel so much bigger and so much smaller at the same time, friends dotted in every corner of the world now: some gone home, some moved on, and some still here, in the same place I am, living a life together I am so glad we share.

A chapter of my life really is ending. There’s no denying that. Tomorrow, the final year of my twenties begins. I always thought I would be afraid of it, that the idea of leaving this decade behind would scare me to my core. It does, a wee bit, but not as much as I used to think it would. Getting older is a privilege I have been afforded, and more than that - my twenties have been an adventure I couldn’t have imagined up got myself even in my wildest dreams. I know my thirties will be more of the same - and I’m learning to embrace the uncertainty of what lies ahead. But before all that - I have my 29th year to live, and I have started a list, of all the completely arbitrary things I would like to do this year as a sayanora to my twenties - but I’ll tell you more about that this time next year.

Tomorrow I turn twenty-nine, and the lines around my eyes get a little deeper every time I laugh, and I don’t understand teenagers and pop culture sometimes passes me by - and I am oh-so grateful to get older, and a little wiser, a lot more uncool in the eyes of my nieces and nephews, but most of all, happier. How could I not be, when the life I used to dream of as a lonely teenager in my bedroom on tumblr is the life I actually get to live now?

This has been twenty eight - and this has been a decade of writing myself these letters. Tomorrow is twenty-nine - and we’ll see how it all goes.

[khaotunq]

i am a pretty high-energy yes-to-everything socially-charged person.

that being said, i am ready to not see another living soul for at least a month.

please.

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

[love-fireflysong]

Mark the day babes. As of twenty minutes ago I am once again caught up with where I was originally in crash 4 before my hard drive bit it. Took me a long 80 days (and I don’t even think I played it for like a good third of them!) but I did it, and considering it took me over FOUR months originally to get to this point I will consider it a win holy shit.

[teawithswift]

I adulted too much today and now I have a bunch of doctor appointments and phone calls in the next two days and I’m stressed

[alpinelogy]

The real million dollar question is, will I feel like going cycling tomorrow morning when it’s supposed to be like 4C at 10 am?

[usmsgutterson]

one thing about me is that when faced with something I don’t like, i’ll do it. Especially if there’s a reward at the end of the task. I’ll complain afterwards, but it’ll still get done and if i’m working with others, they will not sense how I feel bc I will mask it into superhell.

[tchaikovskym]

Turns out willpower can also run out as a driving force

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Uh this particular presenter has nice right buns and I'm not gay but you keep showing ass shots while I am trying to see the full 3d picture.

Yanno. Christ those hot cross buns. And yes direct 🤔 ummm to room please 🥺😉😁:ooooh shit yeah good girls.

Up against the wall Ladies. You will bless each other for giving you a breathtaking break...hey V

I

ew

[octaviasdread]

drunk late night reading published by routledge and palgrave macmillan is peak academia actually

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed the Radio Star - Tape #1 (Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader)

A/N: After being dead on this account for years, like Christ (or bread?), I have risen (I'm not religious). The point is, if you are new to this series, welcome! I am rewriting this series for myself (and anyone still reading after all this time). It is something I want to see through and that I loved re-reading all these years later. The original reception was so warm and lovely, sometimes making me feel guilty for leaving so abruptly. I loved every reblog, comment, tag, and like for this series. I hope that if you're still here, you like the remake. This series DOES contain sensitive matters such as kidnapping, death, torture, sexual themes, and more. If you struggle with this material please know you are not alone and always reach out for help. I will be making a new masterlist once I have more chapters out. Please let me know what you think and enjoy! - Much love, Em <3

Video Killed the Radio Star Remake Masterlist

Link to the Ao3: Video Killed the Radio Star

Next Chapter: Tape #2

WARNING: stalking, mention of kidnapping, blood, cursing, and sensitive material ahead.

Tape Contents: You start recording videos for the BAU once you find out you have a stalker.

Word Count: 2,196

Tape #1- December 29, 20XX

Your face looks a little apprehensive as you move away from the webcam on your computer. Your eyes flick off the screen, leaning forward to read something as if you had planned out a script for yourself. You wave at the camera, offering the lens a weak and shy smile. Your posture slumps for a second, letting out a prolonged sigh. “I,” you frown at the camera, “I’m not good at talking to myself on video, it seems.” 

“I guess bluntness might be a saving grace for both of us,” you whisper as you play with a ring on your middle finger, sliding it up and down your finger, “You know that feeling you get when you’re driving home late at night and you think to yourself, ‘Oh my god. I think that car behind me is following me.’ I think it all started with that.” A hand reaches for your hair, and you timidly move a stray strand away from your eyes. 

“I tried everything I could think of and kept turning randomly, but it was too late. I would rush up to my apartment, and across the street would the same red van every fucking weekend. I tried to get the plate one day as I watched them leave from my window, but no such luck.” You swallow thickly, your voice suddenly full of emotion. 

A sad smile crosses your face as you shake your head, “Fucking dumb, this is so fucking dumb.” you cry softly as tears dance along your lash line. You take a deep breath and push your shoulders back in a desperate attempt to regain your composure. 

You hold up a wilted, purple rose. Loose petals fall as you twist the stem between your thumb and index. “Got this last night, just on my windshield.” You mutter with a tone of disdain. “Don’t even like roses.” you joke lightly as you set the rose on your desk. 

“I’m going to the police tomorrow. I just… thought maybe doing this would make me feel better,” you pause and let out a bitter laugh, leaning toward the camera, “It hasn’t.” 

Then the screen goes black. 

Tape #2- January 3, 20XX. 

Your eyes have bags under them, and you gently rub the bridge between them. “So, got told off by the police.” 

You lean back in your desk chair and shake your head before pointing accusingly at the camera. “Went to the station, brought my stupid fucking rose and everything. They told me they would patrol the area. Of course, what car do I not see across the street anymore? That fucking red van. Guy told me that I was just imagining things.” 

You relax for a second before speaking again, your shoulders squaring defensively. “And! And, the second they leave, guess who is back again. Every single weekend, 7 pm to 11 pm.” You let out a weary sigh and rest an arm on your desk, staring directly into the camera. 

“The Police said they couldn’t even do anything until something boarding physical assault happens.” You trail off with a sideways glance away from the screen. 

“I’m not going to just sit idly by waiting to get assaulted.” You hiss out, leaning forward and stopping the video. 

Tape #3- January 14, 20XX 

You’re playing with the edges of your sweater as you lean back into your chair, rocking slightly. “Got another love present today,” Your voice distant as you pull a Polaroid from the desk, holding it up for the camera to see. 

The Polaroid was of you at the library where you worked. You were sitting in a striped sweater, your hair down. You were smiling at one of the volunteers who works ���story hour.’ You threw the picture back on the desk with a grimace. 

“No one told me that my sweater that day looked so hideous.” You croak out in a desperate attempt to make yourself laugh in the moment, and for a second, it works. You start with a slight chuckle, but it quickly takes a sharp turn for the worst and becomes a full-on sob. 

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before you wipe tears from under your eyes, “I’m just scared. My mom and I talked about it, and she said that maybe it was a ‘secret admirer,’ which… does not make it any better. I feel like everyone thinks I’m fucking crazy.” Your voice raises before you cut yourself off and look down at your sweater again. 

“I’m not,” 

Camera off.

Tape #4- January 17, 20XX

You smile at the camera and scoot a little closer. “Hey,” you say with a gentle sigh of relief, “Great news—I’m organized!”

You lean back and relax in your chair slightly, “So I’m Y/N L/N. I work as a librarian here in Richmond, Virginia. My apartment will be in my records, I’m sure.” You laugh out softly, holding up a photo of a tattoo that seems to reside on your lower collarbone. 

“I didn’t want to flash the camera, so I took the liberty of taking a photo of this lovely tattoo of mine,” you say, glancing at the photo of the line-art floral tattoo next to your face. “If you think this doesn’t seem like me… well, you’re partially right. I was drunk in Vegas for my twenty-first birthday, and then I woke up missing a good chunk of money and a tattoo.” You shrug as you slowly set the photo on your desk. 

“I’m not trying to freak anyone out if they do see this. I just…” you pause, releasing a slow and controlling breath, “I want to be found if I do go missing. I want to be easily identified if I’m not alive. I want people to know I was a person and not just a body, you know?” You let your lips grow into a weak smile, nodding slightly, seeming to agree with yourself. 

“I’m making these to help myself, to feel like I have more control. The presents stopped recently, but they’re still watching me every weekend. It feels like it's about to get worse. I can’t explain it. I’m not trying to make the police feel bad. I just… don’t like going down without a fight.” 

“Speaking of not going down without a fight,” You reach over to grab a photo and proudly turn it over to the camera. “You know who this is?” You ask your silent audience. “This is the lovely Jennifer Jareau.” You answer with a weak smile, feeling strange as you talk with yourself. 

“I decided to beg the police to email this video folder to her. Currently, just the police have this, as I’m annoying and persistent but also very charming. That’s a lie. My coworker's boyfriend’s friend works at the station. Hopefully,” You swallow gently as the photo slips away from your fingers. “Hopefully, they won’t have to send it to her and the BAU team, but in the unfortunate case, she does see this.” You smile, wave a little, mouth a soft ‘hello,’ and lean forward—screen black. 

Tape #5- February 10, 20XX

You’re wearing a red, pink, and white striped sweater with a white headband pushing your hair back as the camera focuses again on you. “Happy Early Valentine’s Day to everyone who got a gift from their stalker on the top of their car today,” you say with mock happiness before your smile falls, and you hold up a copy of Wuthering Heights. 

You flip through the pages before stopping on one and facing it toward the camera, trying to get it to focus, but you quickly find the task irritating. You groan and decide to read the line, “Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad.”

“That's one of the lines circled, underlined, and highlighted…” You say, flipping through more pages slowly. 

“The only scenes highlighted seem to involve Heathcliff and Catherine, which are romantic scenes, of course, but just that one quote is emphasized.”  You say, shaking your head, and you laugh a little, setting the book somewhere outside the frame. 

“What a shitty gift, I already have a copy.” You joke before the screen turns black. 

Tape #6- February 14, 20XX

Your face is flush red, eyes swollen and raw from crying as you sit in front of the camera, speechless for a short amount of time. You look positively catatonic for a second, unmoving. The sound of you raking in a shaking breath scares you as you bring yourself to speak. Your face doesn’t match your attire, as you sport a sweater with a giant pink heart in the center and small heart-shaped earrings hanging from your ears. 

“They were in here,” your voice is soft and hoarse. “They were in here, everywhere. They left roses everywhere. They were in here! They got into my apartment and left dozens of rose petals on my bed, floors, couch, and kitchen table!” Your voice raises in volume as you cut yourself off, a small tear rolling down your cheek. 

“Something isn’t right,” You were shaking your head and letting out fast breaths, on the verge of hyperventilating. “This is all getting so,” you raise your hands to run through your curls, pulling gently. “I need you to find me. I’m doing so much already. I went to the police station, and they searched everything: cameras, streets, but there was nothing! Just petals!” You yell softly, voice rasping softly at the end of your outburst. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” you mumble softly, tears filling your eyes. 

Tape #7- February 17, 20XX

You smile awkwardly at the camera and hold up Jane Eyre, opening it to a dog-eared page. “You are my sympathy --my better self --my good angel.” You read off the quote softly with a light sigh at the end of your reading. 

“Seems like we have a Brontë fan in our midst,” you try to be light-hearted as you set the book to the side. 

“I wrote down all my passwords, but it's not like you’ll need them. Nonetheless, you can never be too safe.” You quip the sentence in a soft voice. 

“I’m trying my hardest not to do anything crazy. I just, nevermind.” You say, annoyance thick in your voice as you shut the camera off quickly. 

Tape #8- March 2, 20XX

A terrible gnawing was growing in your stomach. Your hands clutched your waist gently as you leaned back in your chair. You felt like you might be sick as you stared off-camera toward your newest ‘gift.’ Your throat felt taut as you swallowed, a shaky sigh coming from your lips as your pale face looked at the camera. 

“I’m scared this might be my last video,” you say, your voice hoarse and tense, “It all just suddenly stopped. There was no more red van, no more gifts—nothing to write home about, but today,” 

You lean over to pull a pair of white, blood-soaked panties from a plastic bag into the frame. “These were on my door knob today when I got home. I tried not to touch it. I put it in this bag to ensure I didn’t contaminate it more. It doesn’t look like blood blood, more like period blood.” As you throw the bag back to your desk, your voice edges into an emotional tone, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

 “I think that they’re mine,” You cried softly, shaking slightly as you tried to control your breathing, “Th-the panties, not the blood. I haven’t, those can’t be from my period. Mine hasn’t come y-”

“I’m not going to be okay. I was stupid to think I might be, but I’m not!” You cry into your hands, and your shoulders shake as you let out a weak sob. “Please find me if I go missing. Please,” Tears fall on your cheeks as you lean toward the computer. 

“I need you to find me.” 

March 5, 20XX. 

A clicker is in J.J.’s hand as she turns off the videos. “Richmond PD sent this over this morning when twenty-eight-year-old Y/N L/N didn’t show up to her job,” She hands out folders as she speaks, “Her coworker called her mother to see if she had gone out of town when she said no. Y/N’s coworker’s boyfriend called a cop friend to check her apartment and found no trace of her or anyone else in her apartment. They sent this video folder over the second he called it in.” 

Spencer was frowning as he flipped through the pages of your file, hating the idea that you knew. He knew that dread, that feeling when something bad was about to happen to you. That innate and raw feeling that pushes through a person like a wave. He opens his mouth to say something, but Hotch is already speaking before he can get the chance to. 

“We leave here in ten,” He says before leaving the room, cutting everyone’s comments short in one small miraculous moment. 

Within ten minutes, the team finds themselves away from their jet, stuffed into groups in black SUVs, barreling toward Richmond. 

[zumicho]

she takes work frustrations out on ao3, writing fics about the hot guy living next door — kita shinsuke. he helps fix roof leaks, kill pests, and stands up to their asshole landlord. unfortunately, having a spare key to her apartment leads him to read the monitor she forgot to shut down when she left.

pairing kita x miya reader

tags, cws smau hybrid (no tweets, texts only), language, lots of hurt-comfort, fem!reader, grief at the start, parental issues lol

status : coming soon ; taglist : open, send an ask/reply (27/50)

a/n : this fic is dedicated to dodger ♡ I wouldn’t be writing this if my love for kita hadn’t been revived by 88 ford !! go read go read go read

*no shade to betterhelp, joke purposes only. “AO3 > therapy” lol

────────────────────────

text intros

prologue : lucky number

grew up in the same house, so I know why you lash out. I understand you, more than you think I do

one : the curse (make your bed)

forgot how to cry, who am I to complain?

two : got a nickel?

I know better than to drive you home, cause you’d invite me in — and I’d be yours again.

three : the blessing (say thank you)

I guess it’s all about the things you want but never get

© ZUMICHO 2024 all rights reserved. please do not repost, edit, or translate my works on any platform.

extra a/n: do NOT expect consistent uploads, the profiles/prologue should be out by tomorrow (07/29/24)

[sofs16]

let you break my heart again — 4

previous | series link

♫ i miss you i’m sorry - gracie abrams

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, lorenzotl, pierregasly, and 21,833 others

charles_leclerc Really happy to be part of the Ferrari Drivers Academy and be development driver for Scuderia Ferrari :) For you, (your initial).

view all 25 comments

march 1, 2016

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, and 12,392 others charles_leclerc 🏆🏆YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! GP3 CHAMPION !!!! A huge thanks to all ARTGP !!!!! WE DID IT !!! ❤️❤️ This one is for you Julio

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november 26, 2016

yn.yln.16 has gone public!

yn.yln.16

liked by kylie_yln, and 4,839 others

yn.yln.16 holy moly so proud of you big sister 🥹

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kylie_yln 🥹❤️

january 5, 2017

charles_leclerc

liked by 13,484 others

charles_leclerc Dreams come true 💫

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january 15, 2017

yn.yln.16

liked by pascale_leclerc, and 7,292 others

yn.yln.16 REAL VOGUE GIRL!!!

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kylie_yln best vogue intern 🤩

february 8, 2017

yn.yln.16

liked by bellahadid, lorenzotl, and 12,942 others

yn.yln.16 made a best friend at work ❤️‍🩹

p.s new article is up in my blog 🫧

view all 39 comments

bellahadid youre something special 🦋

user92 what do you write about? :)

⤷ yn.yln.16 sports and fashion 😚🤍

february 20, 2017

yn.yln.16

liked by 17,393 others

yn.yln.16 tonight’s football game article is up!!! view all 158 comments

march 4, 2017

charles_leclerc

liked by zhouguanyu24, and 18,295 others

charles_leclerc Prema today ! Working to get back on the top step as soon as possible 🙂🏆

view all 22 comments

april 26, 2017

yn.yln.16 posted a story!

caption: “me and the boys when we aren’t writing a 10 page essay ”

viewed by pascale_leclerc, bawsixteen, and 521,102 others

replies:

kylie_yln anyone cute? 😚

⤷ yn.yln.16 looollll no 😖

pascale_leclerc Stay safe, chérie ❤️

⤷ yn.yln.16 ouiii maman!!! see you soon:)

gigihadid

monaco gp

liked by charles_leclerc, and 8,368,560 others

gigihadid Go HAM lewishamilton!

view all 132,395 comments

Maman 💇‍♀️

Charles, before you find out from anyone else, I am having lunch with Yn today.

Charles🤦‍♂️

What? Where?

How long will she be there?

Is she with you now? Maman?

yln.updated

liked by yn.yln.16, and 7,292 others

yln.updated yn out having lunch with her childhood neighbors! via. chefsmonaco: “Met yn.yln.16 this afternoon! Kindest soul who had lunch at our restaurant!” view all 1,684 others

yn.yln.16 chefsmonaco Loved the food, will surely come back! 🤍🥹

may 28, 2017

kylie_yln just posted a story!

caption: “little sis & me work time 🤪 yn.yln.16”

viewed by charles_leclerc, and 32,910,842 others

yn.yln.16

liked by kylie_yln, bellahadid, bawsixteen and 1,017,605 others

yn.yln.16 so so thankful to have written my first vogue article about my beautiful sister !!!! kylie.yln 🥹🤍

view all 232,923 comments

user82 notice how her first article is ab her sister.. talentless nepo babbyyy lol

⤷ yn.yln.16 yeah but hey, atleast im writing in vogue and not crying abt it in someone’s post 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ user1 GAGGEDDDD LOLL I LOVE HER ALR

lorenzotl So proud of both of you! ⤷ yn.yln.16 ❤️

may 11, 2017

charles_leclerc

liked by kylie_yln, pierregasly, and 21,292 others

charles_leclerc POLEEE POSITIONNN 🏎️ 2 poles out of 2 Qualifyings. Thanks again prema_team for the great car. But tomorrow is the day that counts ! 👊🏻

view all 48 comments

kkkwupdates what is kylie doin in his likes 😭

⤷ user27 theyre friends

may 12, 2017

BBC NEWS • SHORT STORIES

MEET YN YLN May 29, 2017

Yn Yln has been making her mark in the industry.

From detailed writing on fashion pieces to analyzing the newest models of F1 cars, Yn Yln is racing through the internet.

Yln told the BBC it was her bursting of emotions that first got her to write.

Her love of fashion was what started her journey. She put up her first blog up in 2010 titled “Layering”. Yln showcased several ways to style for the winter which skyrocketed her blog.

She then wrote about the racing sport. Yln mentioned a friend of hers raced and that is where her writing started to flourish.

“He just got me really interested in the sport that I couldn’t go a week without writing whether Hamilton got a win or modifications had been made to the sport.”

The writer got her first issue in Vogue out this May 11th. The issue was about her sister, Kylie Yln, and her entrepreneurship.

But while she has achieved much beyond her years, Yln has much more ahead of her. She continues to help the writing industry advance and flourish.

MORE

F1 2018: Charles Leclerc confirmed at Sauber

Kylie Yln launches new collection

yn.yln.16

liked by bellahadid, lewishamilton, voguemagazine, kylie.yln, pascale_leclerc, lorenzotl, bawsixteen, and 3,594,192 others

yn.yln.16 you're looking at the new f1 correspondent and presenter 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 tears 😭😭😭😭😭 screaming

view all 310,282 comments

lewishamilton Welcome to the club!🖤

⤷ yn.yln.16 Thank you so much🥹🥹🏎️

kylie.yln Proudest of you

[liked by yn.yln.16]

lorenzotl ❤️❤️❤️

pascale_leclerc 😍❤️

user1 what will you do? ⤷ yn.yln.16 writer some articles and present with sky tv 🍓

november 28, 2017

charles_leclerc

liked by kylie_yln, and 1,812,292 others

charles_leclerc I remember watching Formula 1 being younger and dreaming of one day being part of it. I can't believe this day has arrived and that I will be racing with Alfa Romeo Sauber F1 Team for the 2018 Formula 1 World Championship. I am hugely thankful to all the people who have been involved in my path to Formula 1.

A special thought to my father that did absolutly everthing for me to get there and to Jules that also helped me massively, I wish you two were here to see that but l'm sure you will follow me from up there.

A special thank you to the Ferrari Drivers Academy/Scuderia Ferrari, my sponsors/partners, Nicolas Todt/All Road Management, my family, all the people close to me during all these years & obviously Alfa Romeo Sauber F1 Team for giving me this opportunity.

Also, a special thank you to (your initial). This is also for you and I’m proud of you.🤍

Still a long way to go to my second dream..! So back to work and see vou in Melbourne 🏎️

december 3, 2017

Charles Leclerc explains reasons behind #16 F1 number choice

december 13, 2017

Since he was young, Leclerc has been dreamt of his future in being an F1 driver, as well as his future number.

The 20 year old driver explains it has always been the number he was going to pick.

“There is too much emotional connection for me to not pick this number. I hold this number deep in my heart and the person who helped me achieve everything, is mainly the reason. I hope to do the number well and give it justice.”

He has yet to specify who he is talking about but fans would guess a close friend. READ MORE…

16spriv

liked by kyliexoxo, bells888 and 47 others

16spriv

view all 21 comments

bells888 the no caption is so real

⤷16spriv STOPPP ITS MY NUMBER. NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE MYUSERNAME. goodbye yn.yln.16.

kyliexoxo deeeep breaths sister

⤷ 16spriv 🧘‍♀️

yn.yln

liked by bellahadid, lorenzotl, and 4,217,282 others

yn.yln bffr. time to work

view all 1,282,955 comments

user2 why is she famous again?

⤷ yn.yln am i even famous

⤷user2 😂

⤷ user3 she’s a talented writer and her sister is $$$

ylnsbabe the 16 in her user is gone????

⤷ f1wags holymoly

february 13, 2018

MARCH 25, 2018

it was nerve shaking for both yn and charles to come into the paddock knowing the other would be there but they both walked in with confidence.

with charles in his rookie season, many interviewers were trying to get his input on it. he searched the faces for that one (y/h/c) but proceeded to answer questions while walking.

as he started to leave the group, he had the urge to turn around. and when he did, he was met with those (y/e/c) and nostalgia.

the interviewers started to disperse, getting in his line of vision for a moment before they were focues on her.

this was his second shot and he was not going to waste it.

TAGLIST @1655clean @uuzhanggggggg @cmleitora @annie115 @valntynebaby @mrosales16 @d3kstar @stopeatread @chimchimjiminie16 @viennakarma @peqch-pie @scaramou @daniellarogers

NOTE sorry it took so long to upload:( hope everyone has a good year!! this took me a while and a lot of things aren’t accurate, such as the job description, but its fictional!!

[saintjosie]

Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl

Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?

Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).

And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore

There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror

Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?

im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you. i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you've lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.

but that's the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.

after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people's expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it. so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.

im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out. and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3

[bloodyymaryyy]

Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife baker!reader where he's picking her up from work when it’s getting late, and taking a night walk/enjoying the stars? I don't know if it make sense. Add something you'd like to it. Thanks :))

Late night walks

Toto wolff x reader

Warnings : none

Masterlist

Working and having a bakery owed by you is hard, waking up at 5 in the morning to prepare everything for the day, start baking the sweets, the pastries, the breads and the cakes everyone is asking for all day when your employee Mary, as sweet middle aged woman turned the sign around indicating that the bakery is open to take customers until eight at night where you turn it back around.

Today was no different to any other, bakind everything needed to be baked and going to the front to make the display filling the spots of the already bought pastries.

Around ten am the people coming in are less than the early morning, everyone going to their jobs, at schools or sitting at the tables around the bakery where some people mostly teenagers or young adults sitting down with a cup of whatever they are drinking and an empty plate where a pastry was placed, laptops on the tables the outside tables with an ashtray and packets of cigarettes or vapes. The atmosphere was calm, fun with music playing sofly in the background, laughter and a buzzing from the soft chatter all around the shop.

Today you left your husband at home, he didn't have work to do it was the winter break for him, leaving him on your bed asleep wishing you could just stay and enjoy the day with him because moments like that are rare with your work making you disappear until the evening and him going from country to country with his team or in the gym working out only seeing each other at dinner both exhausted from your work, the rare instances where you take time and leave from work and going to the company when he is here or at the paddock when Silverstone is coming around, hands full of pastries to give to everyone Mercedes, Mclaren, Ferrari, Redbull, Williams, Aston Martin and the others because you can give them and for your Lewis vegan ones, you have Lewis in your heart and treat him like a son even tho there isn't many many years difference between you, Lewis being 29 and you being 45 same with Toto, you knew Lewis from when he got into the Mercedes team and from then on loving him so much, and having taken a liking to the younger drivers giving them something extra.

Today toto came to your bakery near the closing hours claiming he wanted to want for you and have fun together.

When the shop was closed, cleaned and with ready dough for tomorrow, toto took your hand leading you to his Mercedes taking you to the lake.

Side note ( does Silverstone has a lake or something? I don't know i have never went there sorry. Just pretend it does)

Walking around the lake, laughing, playfully pushing each other around and taking about everything and making plans for later in life you and just spend time with one other before your schedules become more difficult and came to a decision to have the bakery but having one or two other employees to cover for you so you could be more with your 5 year old son Luca and for toto to continue his work and taking as many breaks as he can and slowly start to retire in the future.

_________________

Sorry it took so long to post I had it in my drafts.