#tommy kinard fluff

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Star Stickers

Summary: Buck & Tommy devise a plan to cheer you up since you haven’t been sleeping well due to insomnia. 

TW/CW: Evan Buckley & Tommy Kinard x Platonic!Reader, Fluff, Insomnia, Self Doubt

Requested?: No   

Word Count: 2,941 

A/N: Ngl this was entirely inspired by my desire to have someone in my life who surprises me with gold star stickers, that desire was inspired by a text post on here that says “I’m a gold star bisexual. The gold star has nothing to do with my bisexuality, I’ve just been very good today & I deserve it.” Anyway, hope you enjoy the fluff. Much love to all! Requests are Open! 

P.S. I just want a couple of gay besties that let me be a child every now & then... is that too much to ask?

--- Your POV --- 

     As I hop down out of the fire truck and trudge up the stairs to the coffee maker, Buck lovingly greets his boyfriend Tommy who has stopped by for lunch before they follow me up. In my sleep deprived and pissed at life state, I completely miss any and all other interactions. Truth be told the only reason I even noticed Tommy is here is because he ruffled my hair when I passed them. 

     I'm pouring what feels like my thousandth cup of coffee since breakfast this morning when Buck leans against the counter beside me, "How many cups of coffee is that today? I think you've set a new record." 

     From the table, Eddie looks up and raises his own mug of coffee, "Uh uh, I've got that record set at seven," before going back to his phone. 

     I roll my eyes, "This is number eight, Eddie. Nice try." He only shakes his head and takes another sip. 

     Leaning against the counter across from me, Tommy's eyes nearly pop out of his skull, "(Y/N)... that's way too much coffee for one day."

     I shrug and make my way over to plop down on a couch and drop my head back to rest on the cushions. I am soon joined by Buck beside me and Tommy who takes a seat on the coffee table. I pout at him which makes him chuckle, "What are you pouting about?" 

     I playfully stomp my feet a couple times, "I was gonna put my feet there." 

     Buck nudges me, "Just do what I do," before propping his feet up on Tommy's thigh. I look at Buck's boots and then mine before shrugging and resting mine on Tommy's knee. Tommy simply shakes his head and they strike up a conversation. 

     Before long, Cap is calling us all to the table to eat. As soon as I sit down, I flop my head over onto my forearms. To my right, Eddie sighs, "Why haven't you been sleeping?" 

     Without lifting my head, I shrug, "Between working doubles, insomnia, and noisy neighbors I just can't." 

     To my left, on the other side of Buck, Tommy tuts, "Do I need to dope you up with Benadryl?" 

     I lift my head finally as Buck scoops food onto a plate in front of me, "Please don't. I still owe the hat man money and even with all these doubles I can't pay him yet." Everyone at the table shakes their heads this time. They all know how bad my insomnia gets at times, so they're pretty familiar with my sleep deprived state. What they're not familiar with is the thoughts that keep me awake at night and create a void that should be filled by sleep. I always just blame the insomnia on something less concerning. 

--- Third Person POV --- 

     That evening as Buck and Tommy make their way into their apartment, Buck is concerned, "Do you think there's anything we could do to help (Y/N)?"  

     "Well, she vetoed my suggestion of Benadryl, so not really," Tommy responds as he shuffles through the mail in his hands. 

     Buck wanders off to the bedroom to change, raising his voice a bit so Tommy can hear him, "No, I know we can't really help with the insomnia. Me and Eddie already tried. I mean to like cheer her up." 

     Tommy enters the room as Buck is exiting to make dinner, "I don't know. Did you have something in mind?" 

     Buck is still thinking, tomatoes on the cutting board in front of him, when Tommy joins him in the kitchen. Saying nothing, Tommy grabs a knife from the knife block, holding it out in front of his distracted boyfriend. Buck snaps to and takes the knife to begin cutting up the tomatoes, "I can't really think of anything. I was hoping you had some suggestions." Tommy retrieves two beers from the fridge, cracking them both open before leaning against the counter beside Buck to take a sip of one, placing the other beside the cutting board. He takes a few more sips as he thinks.  

     Tommy has noticed how similar you and Buck are in the somewhat short time he's known you. He's noticed that a lot of the things that spark Buck's interest also spark yours and how you both get excited over similar things. He has an idea of where to start, "What's something that would instantly brighten your mood on a rainy day?" 

     Buck grins, "Seeing my hot pilot boyfriend but I don't think that would cheer (Y/N) up as much as it would me." 

     Tommy chuckles, shaking his head, "No, silly, something someone could give you or do for you," he clarifies, quickly adding, "regardless of who it is and something we could also do for (Y/N)." Buck is quiet for a moment before mumbling something that Tommy can't quite make out, "Baby, speak up please." 

     Buck takes a deep breath and sets the knife down. He turns to Tommy as he picks up his beer and takes a sip before repeating, "Gold stars." 

     Slightly surprised, Tommy tilts his head, "What do you mean?" 

     Buck smiles wide, "When I was little Maddie used to give me little gold star stickers whenever I did well on a homework assignment or test, even for not-so-great grades like Bs and Cs. I always kept the stickers because for some reason they made me feel really happy and proud." 

     Tommy is unsure, "So, you're suggesting we give our friend, who's a grown woman mind you, gold star stickers to cheer her up?" 

     Tomatoes forgotten, Buck sets his beer back down and insists, "Yes! She'd love it, I swear. One time on a callout she was taking care of a little girl while her mom was being bandaged up. The little girl was coloring the whole time and chatting to (Y/N) about what she was coloring and all kinds of other stuff.” Tommy has to dodge as Buck talks with his hands, “When it came time to leave, the little girl ran up to us as we were heading back to the truck. (Y/N) squatted down to see what she needed and the little girl stuck a unicorn sticker to her shirt pocket and then yelled, 'Thank you' as she ran back to her mom. I've never seen (Y/N) smile that big before."  

     Tommy thinks he's done but before he can even open his mouth to respond, Buck gasps, "And remember that time a bunch of us went to the beach? She had been wandering up and down the sand randomly picking stuff up and then when Maddie yelled at her to see if she wanted to go get ice cream, she ran over to us and was super excited to show us all the sea glass and shells she had collected in her shirt." 

     Tommy decides to make sure this time, "You done?" 

     Buck thinks for a second, placing his hands on his hips, "That depends. Are you convinced that we should stop and get gold star stickers before you drop me off at work in the morning?" 

     Tommy laughs as he answers, "Yes, Evan. We can stop and get gold star stickers in the morning."  

     The next morning, Buck directs Tommy to a local craft store where he had recently helped Chris buy stuff for a school art project. The two make their way inside but have to ask for help finding the stickers. Tommy chooses to ignore the judgmental look on the little old lady's face since Buck very clearly misses it, too busy craning his neck to see if he can spot what they came for. She leads them toward the back of the store and points down an aisle full of stickers. Tommy notices her shake her head as she walks away but is quickly distracted by the golden retriever stuck inside his 6' 2", muscular, firefighter boyfriend. 

     Tommy smiles brightly as he watches Buck make his way down the aisle, scanning for and collecting any sticker packs with shiny stars in them. When he returns to Tommy, bouncing with excitement, his hands are full of different sticker packs that he shuffles through to show him, "Which ones do you think she'd like most?" There's all different sizes and colors of stars, some have other sticker shapes mixed in; others are very clearly marketed toward teachers who use them to reward young students.  

     Tommy places his hands over Buck's to stop his indecisive shuffling, "Let's start by eliminating any that aren't just stars." Buck shuffles through and hands the rejected packs to Tommy who quickly puts them back where they belong. When he returns, Buck has tucked a few packs under his arm and is staring back and forth at the three remaining packs in his hands. 

     "Whatcha got?" Tommy asks looking down at the stickers. He finds that Buck is trying to decide between a pack that has only gold stars in varying sizes, a pack that has rainbow-colored stars that are all the same size, and a pack that has different pastel-colored glittery stars in a few different sizes.  

     "Yeah no," he says as he gently removes the glitter stars from Buck's choices and places them back where they belong. He knows you'd kill them for giving you the craft herpes that is glitter and to him you don't really seem like the pastel type. When he turns around to rejoin him, Buck is already heading toward the front.  

     When he finally catches up to Buck, he's handing both the gold and rainbow packs to a younger cashier who smiles brightly when she sees them, "Aw these are cute! Are you getting them for your kid?" 

     Buck laughs softly, "Uh no, just- just trying to brighten up a friend's day." She smiles at him and nods as she rings them up. She gives him the total as Buck taps his card on the pin pad. Once the receipt shoots out and Buck collects the stickers, the two make their way back to the Jeep to head to the 118, deciding that Buck could hang onto the gold stars and Tommy could man the rainbow stars. Somehow, they still make it there before you. 

--- Your POV ---

     After yet another night of tossing and turning, I trudge into the fire house like a zombie looking for brains, except I just want coffee. I make my way to the locker room, change clothes, and head upstairs b-ling straight for the coffee maker. My path is blocked by Buck and Tommy who are both leaning on the counter in front of the wonderful machine of caffeinated goodness with their arms crossed looking like they were expecting me. I join them and attempt to shove them out of my way but they won't budge. Instead, Buck turns his back toward me and pours coffee into a mug before facing me again and holding it out to me. 

     I take it gratefully and enjoy a sip before they both reach up and stick something to my forehead. Bewildered, I look up toward my hairline before deciding I don't have it in me to give a shit right now. I plop into one of the chairs at the table, stickers still on my forehead, and drop my chin into my palm. "Did you get-" Eddie looks up from his phone and grins. His eyes cut behind me where Tommy and Buck are approaching, "Who's idea was that?" he asks pointing at my forehead. 

     Tommy takes a seat beside me, sipping his own cup of coffee, "Let's see, maybe the one who can't sit still," he smiles as he points his thumb behind us at Buck who is bouncing on the balls of his feet, "because he's too excited to see her reaction when she sees them." 

     I look back at Buck whose smile is so big it looks painful. Sighing I pull my phone out and open the camera. There I find two stars on my forehead; one is rainbow and the other is slightly bigger and gold. I can't help but smile so big it probably matches Buck's as I look back at him again. He does a little happy dance before getting very close to Tommy's face, "I told you she'd like them." I quickly snap a photo in which you can clearly see the two stars on my forehead as well as Buck and Tommy, who are still in very close proximity, smiling at each other before putting my phone away. Soon a conversation picks up as Buck sits down on the other side of me.  

     At some point I decide that I need to find some paper to keep my stars on because I can't exactly walk around all day with my face covered in stickers, Buck has added two more since the first two. I also can't bring myself to just throw them away either. Having no luck elsewhere I make my way to Bobby's office and knock softly. He answers and when I open the door, he laughs, "Whatcha got there?" 

     I look up toward the stars and smile, "Gifts from Buck and Tommy. I was wondering if I could have a piece of paper to put them on."  

     Bobby nods, handing me a sheet of printer paper, "Of course," and as I turn to leave, peeling the stars from my forehead and placing them on their new home, he adds, "It's good to see you smiling again (Y/N)." 

     I give him a big smile, "Thanks, Cap." 

     A little while later, Tommy is heading out to go grocery shopping and clean up their apartment. Eddie and I follow as Buck is walking Tommy out. Tommy stops when he notices me. He backtracks to me as he pulls his sticker pack out of his back pocket. After placing a new sticker on the tip of my nose, he hands the pack to Eddie, "Hit her when she least expects it." Eddie nods, watching as I remove the sticker from my nose and add it to my collection with a big smile on my face. Tommy ruffles my hair before rejoining Buck at the door and heading out. 

     Throughout the rest of the day, Buck and Eddie take their sticker duties very seriously. At one point, from upstairs I notice them over by the engine whispering to each other. When they catch me watching, Eddie sassily shoos me away with sticker pack in hand making Buck laugh heartily. Not long after that, I am bombarded by not one, not two but six star stickers. Each one from a different member of the team.  

     After a particularly grueling call out, I sit with my head leaned against the window. In my peripheral, I notice Buck and Eddie make eye contact and nod at each other before both of them reach in their pockets, pick out a sticker, and slap them both on my forehead. Every chance they can, they are stickering me. I walk around the corner coming from the bathroom, sticker. I pour myself a cup of coffee, sticker. I'm helping Hen take inventory in the ambulance, sticker. Every single sticker makes me smile. 

     By the time Tommy arrives to pick Buck up that evening, I'm pretty sure Buck and Eddie are both out of stickers and my printer paper is getting full. As we are walking to our vehicles, Buck rushes over to meet Tommy, who is leaning against the door of his jeep, before we can and whispers something to him. Tommy's face breaks into a big smile. I'm dropping my bag into the passenger seat of my Bronco when Tommy places what feels like a big sticker right in the middle of my forehead, "Buck said he saved the biggest one for me since I wasn't here all day like they were." 

     I grin and look around at my three friends, "Thank you guys. You genuinely made my day," I look down at the paper in my hands as I peel the newest star off my forehead and place it with the others, "I don't think you realize how much this means to me."  

     Tommy ruffles my hair, "Anytime, kiddo. Besides, I don't think you realize how much joy this whole thing has brought Evan." We both look at Buck who is grinning as wide as humanly possible.  

     Buck pulls me into a hug, "If you ever need a star sticker day again, just say the word." I nod as he pulls away. 

     Eddie places his hand on my shoulder, "He's being dead serious." 

     I laugh, "I know. I will." With that, the four of us are parting ways and heading home. On my way home, all I can think about is how happy I am to have such amazing people in my life. Often, the most prominent insomnia inducing thought at night is that of loneliness. I've spent hours lying awake at night wondering if I actually have people who care about me or if they just let me hang around because they pity me. I wonder if I even deserve to have them around. After a day full of stickers, I truly believe that my team genuinely cares about me. Why else would Buck and Tommy get up early to buy star stickers before work? Why would Cap smile so big just because I'm smiling. Why would everyone get such a kick out of getting to put a sticker on my face? They care about me and I care about them. They mean the world to me. They are my stars. 

Masterlist

More 911

[wikiangela]

you're my happily ever after (so i'll take my chance now, risk it all somehow)

rating: G

words: 2.6k

8x06 fix-it, because I'm pissed - I or my fics aren't going anywhere tho <3

thank you to @evansboyfrend for beta reading, ily 🫶

[also on Ao3]

It feels like the whole world is crumbling down. It feels like the Earth should shake, burst on fire, open up and swallow everything around. As dramatic as it is, he kind of expects it to happen, and it’s weird that he’s still sitting here. His ears are ringing, panic rising in his chest with each of Tommy’s words. He watches Tommy get up and head for the door, and he’s frozen to his spot. It’s not- it can’t be. It fucking can’t be. “Wait,” he finally manages to say, trying to keep his voice from trembling, “did you just break up with me?” He asks, hoping to any entity that listens that he just misinterpreted it, that he got it wrong. Because- because he can’t lose Tommy. He’s falling for him so fast and so hard. He’s ready for the next step. He’s ready to move in together. He’s ready to talk about one day, eventually, maybe getting married. He knows he wants that. He knows what he wants, and he wants Tommy.  “Yeah, I guess I did.” Tommy answers, glancing back at him, his expression sad but firm. But Buck knows him. Knows that this mask will crumble into something devastated as soon as he leaves. That Tommy’s heart will shatter, just as Buck’s is right now. He can see through Tommy, he knows that he cares about Buck. It just- it doesn’t make sense. What was he even talking about… It was all so much, so fast, Buck’s brain is still scrambling trying to understand it all.  “Believe me, I didn’t see-” Tommy starts, but Buck shakes his head and interrupts him. “No.” He stands up, his legs feeling shaky. Tommy fully turns towards him, confusion in his face. “What do you mean, ‘no’?” He frowns.

“I mean, no, you’re not breaking up with me.” Buck says more confidently than he feels. Because this can’t be it. The last six months, the best six months of his fucking life, can’t end like this. Can’t end at all. He won’t have this. “I know you care about me. And I care about you. And I don’t want to break up.” He sees Tommy open his mouth to speak, his expression hardening – putting on a mask again, trying to hide the hurt. He speaks again before Tommy can. “If you truly, genuinely want this, not because you think it’s gonna be better for me or you, but because you don’t want to be with me, fine, I can respect that. But I won’t accept it without a fight. I- I wanna fight for us, Tommy.” Buck steps closer to him, hoping that Tommy doesn’t step back, that might just break him. He doesn’t, he’s stuck in place, sad eyes on Buck’s. “Let me fight for us. You-” he adds quickly, on a roll now, not wanting Tommy to interrupt until after he’s done, after he’s said his piece. He needs to say it all now, let Tommy know how he feels. He can’t watch him leave without trying to fix it first. Tommy’s looking at him intently, just listening, not even trying to speak. “You gave me a second chance once, when I fucked up our first date, and I- I want to believe it wasn’t for nothing. So- so you’re my first man, so what?” Buck throws his hands up in frustration, he thinks he’s starting to sound a little frantic, speaking faster and faster. He just can’t let Tommy leave without him knowing exactly how Buck feels. “It’s far from my first relationship ever. Why- why is it so different just because you’re a man? It shouldn’t be. I don’t need to date other people, experiment or whatever else. I’ve dated people, slept around, did it all. I know how that goes, how it feels, and I don’t want to do it again. I know what I want, Tommy. And I want you. And don’t you dare tell me how I feel.” He feels anger seep in, Tommy’s words ringing in his head. What the actual fuck was he thinking? “I’m a grown man, I know how I feel. Yeah, it’s new and exciting, but it’s also real. It’s real to me, and- and if there’s any chance of forever, I want to take it. And-” he takes a breath. He feels like he’s been speaking in one breath, feeling a little lightheaded now, his heart hammering. Or maybe that’s just the panic. “And don’t start with the whole ‘I’m not your last’ bullshit.” He shakes his head again, tears welling up in his eyes, anger still building. Really, what in the world? How could Tommy want to just throw away the most wonderful relationship that’s happened to Buck in years? Maybe ever? “You don’t know that. I don’t know that. Yeah, we could break up one day. But you could also be my forever, and I could be yours. I’d love a chance to find out, even if it hurts in the end. But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one here brave enough to risk it. And- and what about my heart, huh?” Tears are threatening to spill, his voice shaking now, with sadness and anger, and desperation. He can’t let him go, he can’t. “You said I’d break your heart eventually. But this, right now? This is you breaking mine.” He finishes, almost panting now, his monologue taking the wind out of him, wanting to say everything on his mind, in his heart. He hopes he got his point across. 

“Evan.” Tommy just whispers, with a pained expression. There are tears in his eyes, too, one lone one slipping through, falling down his cheek. Buck’s hand itches to reach out and wipe it off, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to anymore. 

“Give us a chance, Tommy. Let us fight for this. Fight for me, for us. Fight with me.” He’s aware he sounds like he’s begging at this point, but he doesn’t care. This is too important. “I thought it’s been so good between us lately-”

“It has!” Tommy rushes to say. “It’s been amazing. You make me so happy. That’s why I’m scared, I just- I’m sorry, Evan, but I can’t let myself get hurt like this again. Because I- I’ve been there before, and it was hard to get back up, and with you- I don’t think I’d be able to ever recover from this one.” He admits, his stone-faced facade crumbling, and Buck can see his own feelings reflected in Tommy’s expression. Sad, devastated, heartbroken. 

“We can- we can take some time apart.” Buck says around a lump in his throat. He feels like he can’t breathe. All he wants is to rewind until before he dropped the moving in bomb which must be what made Tommy freak out. He could say anything else, and take it slower, and maybe they’d be on their way out right now, a date night like they planned. “If that’s what you need. A break. But not for good. And then let’s come back to it clear-headed, knowing for sure what we want. And if you still want to break up, I- I’ll respect that. But I already know what I want,” he repeats firmly, decisively. “I want a future with you. I want to move in together, and one day down the line get married, and- and I want it all with you. We can slow down if I’m rushing this. I tend to do that, and if it’s scaring you, I’m sorry.” He adds, not wanting to backtrack any of this, but aware of how intense he’s coming off. He’s never been more serious about anything in his life. “But the past six months have been the best in my life. I’ve never felt so happy, so free, so comfortable, so safe. And I’m not giving up on you, Tommy. I will fight for you until I can’t anymore, until you tell me that you don’t care about me and I should just fuck off.”

“Evan. You know I’ll never say that.” Tommy responds quietly.

“I know. Because I’m confident in us, in the fact that you do care, and you do want me. I know that.” Buck emphasizes, and realizes, not for the first time, that he never felt like this before. This secure. This confident about someone wanting him. “I also know you’re just trying to protect yourself, your heart, and I get it. But I can’t let you go without a fight. I won’t. I messed up a lot in my life, and I won’t mess up this. I refuse to. Because I-” he takes a sharp breath, the words pressing on his lips. He doesn’t want to say it for the first time in a possible break up, a moment of such anger and devastation. But he needs to put it all out there. Needs Tommy to understand how much he’s trying to throw away right now. “I love you, Tommy.” He confesses, sees Tommy’s face melt into the saddest expression Buck’s ever seen on anyone, tears spilling freely now. Both of theirs, he realizes, feeling wetness on his cheeks. “I’ve been falling for you a little bit more with each day we spend together, with each minute. And I know- I hope you feel the same. But if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t-” he swallows thickly, the thought alone is too much to bear. 

“I can’t do that.” Tommy interrupts quickly. “Of course I love you, Evan. It happened so quickly it kind of scared me a little.” 

“I noticed.” Buck says dryly, and Tommy lets out a humorless chuckle. “If you ask me, which you didn’t, by the way, you decided for both of us, which was an asshole move,” he points out, and Tommy looks away, as if ashamed. Good. Buck loves him, which means he’s gonna call out when he’s acting shitty. “I’d rather give us a real try and get my heart shattered if it comes to this, instead of always wondering what if, always wondering if you’re my one who got away. Which you would be.”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, takes a step towards Buck, now just half a step away. “I’m sorry, maybe breaking up is too hasty. Impulsive,” he scoffs at himself, probably remembering how he called Buck that just a few minutes ago. Well, so maybe they’re both a little impulsive. Not a problem, in Buck’s opinion. “I don’t- I don’t want to break up. I never want to be away from you.” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand flinches at his side, like he wants to reach out, grab Buck’s, touch him. Buck hopes he does. “It just- it seemed too fast. Like you got wrapped up in the moment. It’s still so new, I thought we were taking it one step at a time, and I didn’t-” he takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and Buck knows what he says is going to sting – and it does, it feels like a gut punch, actually, “I didn’t think you were as serious about this as I was getting. And I realize we should’ve done the mature thing and talked it out. I’m sorry. It’s just, we’ve barely talked about any future here. But I want it, of course I do. I’m just- I’m scared. My heart has never been in this much danger.” He looks into Buck’s eyes as he says it, more vulnerable than ever. This is everything Buck wants right now, for them to talk, to discuss this, to try fixing it, instead of one of them running away and the other giving up and not fighting for it. Buck’s been there, he doesn’t want a repeat.

“Tommy.” Buck is the one to close the distance between them, carefully brings his hands up to cup Tommy’s face, giving him a chance to back away, but he doesn’t. Instead, he breathes out a sigh of relief, like he craved Buck’s touch as much as Buck craves his. “You remember when I told you I wanted something with you? Even though I didn’t know what that something was yet?” he asks and Tommy nods slightly, Buck’s palms still resting on his cheeks. “I’ve been serious about you since that precise moment. About pursuing this, and wanting some kind of future with you. I know I tend to rush into things, it’s been a problem before.” He huffs a self-deprecating laugh. “I tried not to do that with you, but I failed, clearly. I just think from now on, we both should stay and talk and try to work it out if we have any issues with something. If you still want me.” He adds a little anxiously, but relaxed when he feels Tommy’s palms settle on his hips.

“Of course I want you, Evan. I always will.” Tommy says, that loving look in his eyes, that always makes Buck’s heart melt a little. That look that Buck loves so much, that made him think that Tommy might feel the same way.

“Good. Like I said, I’m not letting you go. Ever.” He says decisively, a huge weight that’s been there since the topic even started finally lifting off his chest. This might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and no matter the conclusion – which he’s pretty sure will be the happily ever after he’s always craved – it’s worth the risk, it’s worth everything.

“Good.” Tommy echoes, that gorgeous, scrunchy smile of his slowly spreading on his face, and it’s like sunshine came out from behind stormy clouds. “I don’t intend on letting you go, either. I love you, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry for… for this mess. For overreacting.”

“That’s fine, we’re past this- well, actually, we are gonna talk about it more, but at least we’re on the same page now, I hope.” Buck says, slowly leaning in. “I love you so much. I never want to lose you.”

“I’m sorry.” Tommy says again, and Buck just wants him to stop saying it. It’s fine, they’re fine now. “You won’t. You have me for as long as you want. I promise.”

“What if I want you forever?” Buck whispers, his face so close to Tommy's, their lips almost brush. It sends a shiver down his spine, like he hasn’t kissed him in days, when they just exchanged a quick kiss hello a few minutes ago.

“That works for me.” Tommy smiles again, and finally dives in for a kiss, but it lasts barely a second before he’s pulling away, Buck trying to follow. Tommy chuckles, running a comforting hand up and down Buck’s side. “But maybe let’s put a pause on the whole moving in together thing, huh? At least until we fully talk everything through.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Buck nods, his gaze flickering between Tommy’s eyes, now sparkling happily, and his pretty, kissable lips. It feels so good to be able to just have a mature conversation and resolve whatever issues arise. If they keep doing that, he thinks they’re going to be okay. He’ll make sure of that. “No need to be impulsive,” he adds, his lips twisting into a teasing smirk.

“Okay.” Tommy chuckles quietly, his cheeks reddening. “Just kiss me.” 

Buck doesn’t need to be told twice. He kisses Tommy like he means it, like he’s his person, like he’s the love of his life, trying to put all those emotions into a kiss. He knows for sure he’s getting the same intent back. And at this moment, in his kitchen, narrowly avoiding losing his love because of a stupid reason, he decides it. One day, not too quickly, but not too far into the future, he’s going to ask Tommy Kinard to marry him. And he’s more than sure of the response he’ll get.

[also on Ao3]

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Based on Oliver mentioning Buck and Jee baking together in an upcoming ep.

(I wrote this on my phone so it's not the greatest)

now also on AO3

---

"Is it someone's birthday?" Maddie asked, running through all of their friends and relatives in her mind, trying to figure out if she forgot a birthday.

"No." Buck shook his head and kept pulling ingredients out of the fridge and his kitchen cabinets.

"Ok... What's the occasion then?" she asked when he didn't elaborate.

"It's for Tommy. "

"Oh, is it his birthday?"

"No, not for a few weeks."

"Right. So this is a practice run?"

"What? No. I found the recipe online, but it's easy enough."

"Ok..."

"He likes cake."

"Ok."

Buck sighed and rolled his eyes at his sister before glancing up in the direction of the loft's bedroom.

"He's had a rough couple of days. He had to make an emergency landing because of bad weather yesterday and the ambulance couldn't get to them fast enough and they lost the patient."

"That was him? Josh took that call and he was exhausted from stress by the end of shift."

Buck nodded.

"Tommy too. And he was hurting all over last night. He never takes any pain medication but he took two ibuprofen and a hot shower and crashed into bed."

"Are you sure you're alright to take Jee for the afternoon then? I can ask Mrs Lee or see if she can go play with her friend Emily from down the road. "

"It's fine." Buck told her and turned to Jee. "You're my sous chef aren't you? Are you going to help me today?"

"Yeah!" the girl yelled happily.

"But we have to be quiet ok? Tommy is sleeping upstairs and we don't want to wake him. He needs to sleep because he's sick."

Jee nodded solemnly to show she understood.

"But we're going to surprise him with cake so he'll feel better soon, right?"

"Yeah!" she yelled again, making her mother and uncle laugh.

"At least she's enthusiastic." Maddie tried and bent down to hug and kiss her daughter goodbye. "You be good for uncle Buck, me or daddy will pick you up tonight ok?"

"Ok mommy!" Jee said and climbed up onto the stool next to the kitchen counter.

"Go. We'll be fine." Buck assured her, wrapping an arm around Jee to keep her safe.

After Maddie had left, Buck gave Jee an old shirt of his to wear as apron, made her wash her hands, and the two of them got to work.

He tried to let her do as much as possible while still making sure everything was going to plan and she wouldn't hurt herself.

Before long the cake was in the oven and they started the clean up.

"And when it's done baking, we let it cool off a little and then we can put the icing on and decorate it with these." he showed Jee the assortment of sprinkles he kept in his kitchen for her.

Jee nodded happily and started planning out her sprinkles masterpiece.

Buck looked up towards the bedroom area and listened for a sign of life from his boyfriend.

When he didn't hear anything, he decided to put Jee in front of the TV and go check on him. Tommy was fast asleep, rolled up in the duvet like a human burrito, and didn't seem to have woken up since Buck had made him eat something that morning.

Satisfied everything was ok, he went back downstairs and let Jee tell him all about the cartoon she was watching, until the cake was ready for decoration.

"Which ones do you want to put on first? Pink or gold?"

"Gold!"

"Alright, gold it is. Put it on where you think is best." Buck told her. "But not too much, we need to leave room for the other colours. And we can put your name on it. And mine."

"And uncle Tommy." she decided and Buck froze for a second.

Sure Tommy and Jee had met and he'd explained to her that Tommy was to him what mommy and daddy were to each other, and he was pretty sure she'd understood, but to hear her call him uncle Tommy, that was new.

Jee didn't seem to notice just how much she'd just turned his world upside down and was babbling about what colour sprinkles should go where.

"Pink here for the heart." she decided and Buck wondered when they'd agreed on heart shaped decorations.

"Right, yeah, that... that works." he let Jee draw a heart in pink sprinkles and dutifully wrote his and Tommy's names in it. "And where should I write your name?"

Jee thought for a minute and studied the cake but then shook her head.

"No name."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Jee said like it was the most obvious thing in the world and put some sugar stars across the top half of the cake, above the heart with their names. "That's the sky. With stars."

"Oh wow, that's beautiful miss Jee, did you make that?"

Buck jumped a little when he suddenly heard his boyfriend's voice behind him and felt a hand on his waist.

"Uncle Buck helped" Jee told Tommy.

"Did he now? I'm sure you did all of the important work." Tommy said and gave her a conspiratory wink before turning to Buck and stealing a small kiss. "Hey." he greeted him softly.

"H-hey... Did we wake you?"

Tommy shook his head.

"It's fine. Had to get up eventually."

"Feeling better yet?"

Tommy shrugged and sat down at the kitchen island.

"I'm alright." he just said, which wasn't really an answer but Buck decided to let it go for now.

"Uncle Tommy, it's for you. You need to come look!" Jee insisted, pointing at the cake.

Tommy met Buck's eyes over her head and mouthed "Uncle Tommy?" at him.

Buck shrugged and smiled.

"Uncle Tommy, come see!" Jee said again, a little louder this time, clearly getting fed up with the adults in her life.

"Why don't you two come here and show me, and you can tell me what you made."

Buck helped her down from her stool and put the cake on the island in front of Tommy before helping Jee back on her stool, this time sitting next to Tommy who immediately put a hand on her back so she wouldn't fall off.

"This is the sky with the stars." she started like she was explaining the mysteries of the universe. "And you can fly to the stars."

Tommy laughed a little.

"I don't think I can go quite that high in my helicopter. But maybe I can show you how high I do go. When you're a little older. And your mommy and daddy are ok with it. Maybe uncle Evan will want to come too."

Jee-Yun turned to Buck and gave him an expectant look.

"Yeah, maybe." he settled on, trying to get his heart to calm down and not burst out of his chest hearing his boyfriend make plans with his niece. Even if she was only three and would probably have forgotten about it by the time she was old enough to even think about going up.

She seemed happy with that answer and turned back to Tommy to explain the rest of their creation.

"It's really amazing Jee, it's almost too pretty to eat don't you think?"

"No. You have to eat it. It's chocolate." she said as if that explained everything.

"Oh really? I do love chocolate." Tommy told her. "But can I take a picture of it before we eat it?" he reached into the pocket of his sweats only to realise he'd left his phone upstairs. "Evan, can you take a picture and send it to me?"

"Sure." he grabbed his phone and opened the camera. "You should be in the picture too, we made it for you after all."

Tommy dutifully posed with the cake, tilting the pan towards the camera so the decorations were clearly visible.

"And now one with the master chef herself." he put the cake back down on the table and moved a little closer to Jee so they'd both fit in the picture with the cake and Buck took a few pictures.

After that Jee insisted on having a photo shoot, and by the time Maddie came to pick her back up, his camera roll was filled with pictures of the three of them.

He showed a few to Maddie at Jee's insistence and set one of Tommy making a funny face at Jee as his new contact picture.

They said goodbye to Maddie and Jee-yun and settled on the sofa together, scrolling through the pictures and laughing at some of silly ones.

"I like this one." Buck said, stopping at a selfie of the two of them where Tommy had kissed his cheek at the last second.

"Yeah. Me too." Tommy said softly, not really looking at the picture. "Thanks. For today. For getting me out of my head."

Buck smiled and kissed him.

"Of course."

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Chasing Fires

This fic is based on this idea originally thought up by @kinardsboy in this post and expanded on in this post I made a few days back. I hope you enjoy this different first meeting AU between a younger Tommy and a younger Evan! 🥰

Chasing Fires

| Pairing: BuckTommy | Rated: M | WC: 150.2K | Chapters: 25/25 |

Summary: 24-year-old Tommy Kinard meets 19-year-old Evan Buckley as Evan tries to steal food at a grocery store. Tommy decides to let Evan crash at his place until Evan figures out what his next steps are, giving Evan the same help someone had given Tommy when he had been kicked out of his house years ago.

Excerpt:

Usually, when Tommy saw someone stealing food, his rule of thumb was no, you didn’t. Tommy had been that kid before. He wasn’t going to make someone’s life infinitely worse due to their own desperation. And this wasn’t Tommy exactly calling the kid out. But. He really was not going to fit that giant bag of chips into his sweatshirt in a way that was going to conceal it. And as Tommy watched the guy struggling to shove the party size bag of Lays Classic of all things into one of his sweatshirt pockets, Tommy couldn’t help but say, “Ramen.” "Ramen?" ... “Easier to hide,” offered Tommy as he remembered when he was about as desperate as this guy must be now, “Full meal too.”

READ THE REST ON AO3!

[buckslafdhoodie]

as a gay guy, buck and tommy’s relationship feels like a breath of fresh air.

like, yes, there are so many relationships that are friends to lovers, 5-10+ years of slow buildup, painful unrequited moments, months of silence from a bad miscommunication, etc etc

but there are also relationships like Tommy and Evan, a match in a tinderbox that settles into a campfire. They communicate effectively (not perfectly, but they’re both at a point in life where they can take a few days and come back to each-other to talk things out and see things from each-other’s side), they’re OBVIOUSLY comfortable with each other, understanding of the risks of their job, and most importantly to me?

they. talk.

it’s not just physical intimacy or “the look”, they actively have conversations, they listen and RESPOND, they meet vulnerability with vulnerability and conversations flow and change like they’ve known each other for years, not months!

many people probably aren’t used to seeing those sorts of relationships, especially between two grown men, but god are they real and so so beautiful and i’m glad for these two characters so much every day.

[aesthetictarlos]

No one has ever called Tommy beautiful before. He's been called hot, sexy, attractive, that's for sure, especially by the guys who hit on him in clubs. Someone has even told him he was easy on the eyes or good-looking, and it's not like he didn't have mirrors at his place, but it was always nice hearing those words because he could use a boost of self-esteem here and there, especially in those bad days where he would look at himself in the mirror and saw that chubby young boy who got braces, too many unruly curls, and had to deal with bullies.

People call him cool and competent once they know what he does for a living and that's nice, too, but no one has ever called him beautiful. And it's not like he minds, he hasn't even thought about that until now.

Now that he's laying in bed with his boyfriend, after they made love for the first time (yeah, made love because what he and Evan just did is so, so different from the sex he was used to and he's also a romantic, sue him) and Evan is leaving the imprint of his fingers all over his face. First, Evan traces the outline of his eyebrows, then thumbs at the laugh lines around his eyes and grins softly before his index finger follows the slope of his nose, down to his cupid's bow, murmuring a soft "God, your lips are perfect." Tommy believes him, and sometimes he wishes he could see himself through Evan's adoring eyes. Evan's not done, yet, and his fingers graze every inch of his face, lingering on the cleft on his chin.

"Tommy, you're beautiful," Evan whispers, his impossibly blue eyes filled with so much fondness and affection that Tommy tears up. "So beautiful."

With those few words, Evan fixes something in him that he didn't even know was broken.

[quintessenceofdust88]

Here's some fluff with pregnant uncle Buck and the biggest baby Buckley-Kinard cheerleader, a.k.a Jee-Yun Buckley-Han:

“Uncle Buck?” Jee's soft voice cuts through the quiet of the evening, and Buck smiles down at her.

The two of them are lying on his and Tommy’s bed, already in their PJ’s - well, Jee’s in her unicorn themed PJ’s anyway. Buck’s wearing a pair of Tommy’s sweatpants and also one of his husband’s T-shirts which are slightly bigger than his and fit more comfortably over the sixteen-week bump that’s his constant companion. Jee-Yun has her tiny hands pressed against said bump, looking in awe at the swollen curve of Buck’s stomach.

Ever since finding out her uncle’s pregnant, Jee-Yun has been his biggest supporter. The first thing she does whenever she sees Buck these days is rush into his direction for a hug, placing her hands on his growing bump, happily saying “Hi, babies! Remember me? It’s your big cousin Jee-Yun!”. Buck’s heart fills with joy every time that happens, and he’s ridiculously happy that his niece is so excited about the prospect of being a big cousin. 

“Yeah, Jee-bug?” Buck answers softly, running a hand on her soft hair, thinking he should probably get her settled for bed soon. Actually, he knows for a fact it’s a little past her bedtime, but what’s an uncle for if not bending the rules a little bit? 

Especially considering that sleepovers are a rare treat for Jee. Tonight, Maddie had a shift and little Kevin has the flu, so Buck immediately offered to take her for the night so Chimney could focus on their youngest. His brother-in-law had tried to protest at first, but Buck insisted, claiming Jee’d keep him company since Tommy’s on a shift. 

They’ve had the sweetest time, baking a cake and watching a movie. The whole time, Jee-Yun has been babbling about things she learned at kindergarten (and Buck can’t believe she’s going to elementary school next year; when has time gotten away from him like that?), but Buck thinks she might be about to return to her favorite subject of the moment: her little cousins. 

And sure enough…

“Do the babies like chocolate ice-cream? Mama says Kevin wanted lots of chocolate ice-cream when he was in her tummy!” She asks, and Buck chuckles; she’s been doing that a lot, comparing Maddie’s pregnancy to his, trying to figure out the rhyme or reason of babies growing inside someone. 

“Not chocolate ice-cream, but you know what they made me want the other day?” Buck asks conspirationally, leaning closer to her, and Jee-Yun’s eyes widen in curiosity. 

“What?!’

“Oreos dipped in orange juice” He says, and her instant reaction is a delighted giggle followed by a grimace.

“Oreos with orange juice?! Gross, uncle Buck!” Jee decides, and Buck boops her nose playfully. 

“I know it sounds super gross, but you know what? I kinda liked it; or, the babies liked it anyway” He answers with a chuckle, remembering the horrified face Tommy pulled at him when he caught Buck dumping the Oreos in his glass of orange juice, and how he wisely decided not to comment on it. 

“Can I try it? Maybe I’ll like it too!” Jee says eagerly, and Buck has no doubt she’s about to bolt from the bed to try it. But he has no desire to be thoroughly chewed out by Maddie in the morning.

“Maybe tomorrow, okay, munchkin? It’s bed time for little girls now” He tells her, and Jee pouts, but only a little. She’s smart enough to realize it’d be pushing her luck to try and delay her bedtime even more.

“Is it bed time for the babies too?” She asks innocently, and Buck laughs in delight. 

Come to think of it, he could go to sleep already. He’s thankfully past the point of his pregnancy where he felt sleepy all the god damn time, but still. It’s no piece of cake, growing two babies, and Buck is enjoying all the rest he can get.

“Yeah, I guess the babies could go to sleep too” He told her, and Jee smiled.

“Then can I sleep here with you? I promised uncle Tommy I'd take care of you and the babies!” She pleaded, and Buck isn't able to say no, not when she looks at him with those expectant eyes. God, he hopes he grows a spine by the time the twins are her age, or they'll get away with murder if it depends on him.

“Oh, well, if you promised uncle Tommy…” He teases her, already lifting up the covers so she can get under them, and she does so with a happy squeal that just about melts Buck’s heart. 

Jee settles herself on Tommy’s side of the bed, a content sigh leaving her lips as she snuggles against him, and Buck puts his arm around her, pulling his niece closer to him and opening up the story book he’d left on the nightstand earlier. 

“Tell me a story, uncle Buck?” She asks sleepily, and Buck places a small kiss on her forehead before starting to read ‘The Ugly Duckling’ (a story that always spoke to him as a kid who wished to belong, and he’s so glad that for his niece it’s really just a story).

His voice is the only sound in the house, and Buck can feel as Jee’s head gets heavier against his shoulder, indicating she’s more asleep than awake by this point. He’s about two pages away from finishing it when he feels it; a tiny kick from inside, pressing lightly but surely against his stomach. Before he knows it, Buck’s sitting up in bed, cradling his bump. 

“Uncle Buck?! Something happened to the babies?!” Jee asks, more excited than worried when she sees the wide smile on her uncle’s face. 

“Y-yeah, Jee” Buck answers, still in awe, still delighted, as he feels another kick a little more to the right than the first one; probably the other baby, he realizes. “C’mon, put your hand in here”

Jee doesn’t need to be told twice; her tiny hand rests beside his in his belly, and she stares at it intently, holding her breath. She’s rewarded by her patience in less than two minutes, when Buck feels another flutter of movement (and, wow. It’s weird, to feel them moving inside him like that. The best kind of weird, but weird nonetheless). Jee clearly feels it too, because she lets out a delighted gasp. 

“The babies! They’re moving, uncle Buck!” She tells him, as if he wasn’t aware, and Buck chuckles. “I think they like your story”

“Nah, munchkin” He says, his heart feeling impossibly full as his two tiny blobs (he wanted to murder Tommy the first time he referred to them like this after the ultrasound, but the nickname has grown on him) kick and move around, giving clear signs of life inside him. He hugs Jee tight, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “I think they want to say good night to their big cousin”

“Oh!” She answers, as if that indeed explains everything, and squirms away from his arms so she can scoot down on the bed and press a tiny kiss against his T-shirt. “Good night, babies. I love you so much. I can’t wait to meet you!”

“Me neither, Jee-bug” Buck whispers to her as if it’s a big secret. “Me neither”

[Now on AO3!]

(@parrishjeanna tagging as requested! I hope you enjoy! <3 <3 <3)

And if anyone else would like to get tagged in other works for this verse (which I'll temporarily name 'Little Blobs verse'), please let me know! It's meant to be a very fluffy verse, at least at first hehe <3

[apartmentsmoke]

thinking about buck coming home to tommy's place - the key on his keychain is still new enough that he gets a pleasant swooping feeling in his stomach whenever he sees it - while tommy's on shift. and it should feel weird, being in someone else's space, but it just feels comfortable, and maybe the fact that he thinks that should be weird, but buck can't bring himself to think about it. he just collapses on tommy's sinfully soft couch with its sagging cushions, pets tommy's cat (probably named yeager or something along those lines because all pilots are nerds), and flips on the tv while he waits for tommy to get there. and when tommy does, it's to the news on low volume and evan's soft snores, yeager curled up next to him, and then it's his stomach swooping because evan looks like he belongs here. on tommy's couch, in tommy's place, in tommy's life. so he lets evan sleep while he pulls together lunch. when it's done, he wakes evan up by rubbing his shoulder. the small muffled noises evan makes from where his face is buried in a throw pillow are familiar now, and still adorable, especially when yeager throws in some mrrps of his own. and tommy thinks, for the first time in a couple years, maybe. not yet, but at some point, evan will be here every day. he'll get to come home to evan like this after every shift. and as evan opens his eyes, tommy sees the smile spreading across his face when he sees tommy, and thinks, hopes, that evan wants to come home to him too.

[tommys-wings]

When they’re having pizza nights at Eddie’s, Buck and Tommy usually order the two with the most protein and then share them half and half, fist bumping once they’ve done the exchange, like this is the height of teamwork.

Eddie just calls them dorks and, one time, Tommy goes ‘you’re just jealous of our swag’ to which Christopher just pretends to leave like ‘I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool’ and Tommy lets out his offended ‘eeeh!’ (The same one he had when Buck teased him about the mouth static).

This prompts a contest between Buck, Tommy, and Eddie, to see who can misuse gen z/alpha slang the most egregiously, ending up in what can only be described as a Chris torture chamber.

Anyway, they’re never starved for banter.

[peppermintquartz]

Buck's talking a mile a minute, sharing about his niece's best friend saga and then segueing to the need to revamp early education, they are not getting a proper grounding in maths, and oh can you check if I've left my blue sock in the freezer - I'll tell you about it later...

"Evan."

Tommy's tone is so serious that Buck stops talking. When he turns around, Tommy's on one knee, and in his hand an opened small velvet box with a simple gold ring.

"I think I've got your attention." Tommy's smile crinkles his face in the way that makes Buck's heart skips, except now that same heart is thundering in his ribs like it'll burst out and sing any moment.

"I used to think that I would never be ready to take this step," Tommy says, for the first time obviously nervous in Buck's presence, to the point his voice and his hand are both trembling slightly, and his smile wavers, "but, Evan, I-I'm ready to take it, and I'm hoping that this step will be with you."

Buck claps a hand over his mouth. His eyes widen and, for some reason, tears spring to his eyes.

"Evan? Am I... Is this too early?" Tommy ventures to ask. He is still on one knee, and the ring still in the same place.

A strangled sound escapes Buck's throat. He drops his hand and he is grinning and his eyelashes are damp. "No."

It's clear that isn't what Tommy is hoping to hear, and his smile disappears.

Buck's own smile turns to alarm. "No! I don't mean, I meant, it's not too early, I just meant... Ok. Deep breaths." He takes a few. "Tommy, go look in the freezer."

Getting up from his position, Tommy heads towards their fridge.

A strange mix of elation and anticipation bubbles in Buck's gut. He wishes he can see Tommy's face.

When the older man opens the door to the freezer, he sees an open red velvet box with a platinum band and a little cream-colored card leaning against it.

Marry me?

Tommy turns, just in time to catch Buck approaching. His crinkly smile is on full display.

"Yes," Tommy says. Then he raises his eyebrows. "And you?"

"Yes!" Buck laughs, closing the distance between them eagerly.

(He accidentally knocks the side of Tommy's head with the freezer door, but the resulting spectacular bruise makes a great lede for their announcement.)

[half-oz-eddie]

Buck said they’re a sun x sun relationship.

[fanficsbysteve]

Jeremy Crow

Note: When I write my BuckTommy stuff, I always draw on my own personal experiences when writing stuff for Tommy. He’s a 40 year old gay man, I’m a 40 year old gay man. His Dad was abusive as shit growing up. My Dad was abusive as shit growing up. So, I feel we could have some very similar stuff happen in our lives. So, I had this thought and figured that in my head this was true. So, enjoy another of my silly little headcanons.

Also available on AO3 if you want to leave Kudos.

***

Tommy took Evan up to his bedroom to get ready for bed, and some other things beforehand but Tommy was not going to push for that. It had been two weeks since they had spoken and realized they were both idiots and decided to try again, just not going at light speed that Evan had been going at. Tommy was going to talk about how things made him feel and wasn’t just ‘trying to keep up’ with Evan’s pace. They were also going to go at Tommy’s pace as well.

     Going into the room, Tommy looked at the bed and spotted something sitting in the middle of the bed. Tommy froze. Oh god he had forgotten to put that away. Evan went past Tommy into the room and his eyes also fell onto the bed, “Oh what’s that?” he asked, looking at the bed as well.

     Sitting in the middle of the pillows was a stuffed crow. It looked like it had seen better days, its better days being three decades ago. The black fuzz that had been its torso had all but worn away, the paint on its eyes had been rubbed off and was just the white of the eyes now. The only part that seemed to have withstood the test of time was the beak of the crow, “Um…” Tommy started, “That would be Jeremy. Jeremy Crow.”

 Tommy looked at the crow sitting on his bed, named after a character from a movie he had watched as a child. He had gotten it when he was around five years old and had been sleeping with him every night since. There was something comforting about having Jeremy with him. He slept better. Tommy sometimes thought that Jeremy kept the bad dreams away. He never had them when he had Jeremy in his arms. He had been trying to hide Jeremy away, not wanting Evan to see him because he was scared of what Evan would think about him. A grown man still sleeping with a stuffed animal from his childhood.

     Evan did something that shocked Tommy. Something he hadn’t expected. Evan walked over to the bed, got in, motioned for Tommy to join him, and handed Jeremy over to Tommy, “So tell me about Jeremy,” Evan asked as he lie down.

     Tommy took Jeremy and held him close, feeling the comfort that Jeremy brought to him, “I’ve had him for years,” Tommy started, “My Mom had seen him at a Garage sale and bought him for me. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up so things like this were rare. My mom did enjoy going to garage sales though. She could always find the most interesting treasures at those,” Tommy went to lay down fully in bed, “She passed away about a year after she gave me Jeremy. It’s the only thing I have left that reminds me of her.”

     Evan pulled Tommy into a cuddle. Wrapping his arms around the both of them, “I’m sorry that happened,” Evan said. Tommy had told him about how his mother had died when he was about 6 years old, and how his home life had gone downhill after that as his father had become an alcoholic, “I’m glad you still have something that reminds you of her.”

     Tommy let Evan hold him, feeling his warmth, Jeremy tucked in close to his chest, “I might not have it for long anyways,” Tommy said, “You saw what he looked like. He’s seen better days. I think his best days were back when I was a child. Soon he’s just going to fall apart like most things in my life and I’ll lose the last shred of my Mom.”

     Tommy felt tears welling up, but he refused to let them fall. He would not cry over this. He would remain strong, “You won’t lose the last shred of your Mom though,” Evan gave Tommy a squeeze, “She lives inside you. And you will always have her memory. Jeremy is a reminder of those memories but he’s just a thing.”

     “I know,” Tommy said, “Doesn’t make it less painful that I’ll lose him. Did you know that he’s the reason I don’t have nightmares all the time?”

     “You believe that your stuffed crow stops nightmares?” Evan sounded, “But my belief that I was cursed by a dead cowboy was silly?”

     “Oh, leave me alone,” Tommy playfully elbowed Evan, “I have my own beliefs just like you. I don’t believe in curses, but I’ve never had a nightmare so long as I have Jeremy with me. You’ve experienced my nightmares.”

     Tommy remembered when he was staying over at Evan’s place a few months ago. He felt he had his nightmares under control. He was very wrong. He had been having a flashback to his time in Iraq, he had joined the military and was working as a helicopter pilot, one of those big troop carrier types. They were flying over the desert when out of nowhere, someone fired a missile at them. Tommy saw it coming but not in time and the back of the chopper had been hit. He did everything he could to get them down safely, but they ended up crashing no matter what Tommy did. Six men died on impact. They were nowhere near a city or town. It took them 3 days to find their way back. Tommy had woken up screaming that night. Evan was freaking out about what was happening. He had no idea the PTSD that Tommy was suppressing every day, “I know,” Evan replied, continuing to hold him.

     “Lets just get some sleep,” Tommy said. He was exhausted from having to remember so many things he’s been trying so hard to keep down.

***

     Tommy was at Evan’s loft, laying in bed, waiting for Evan to finish up in the bathroom. He was ready for bed, laying in just his boxers, nothing else on. He preferred to sleep like this when at Evan’s loft. Evan kept the temperature up higher than Tommy did at his house, so it was always far too warm for him in the loft. Hot air rising and all that. Evan came out of the bathroom, dressed only in his underwear as well, and crawled into bed, “I got you something,” Evan said as he leaned over the bed to grab something from the side. Tommy was confused, “Since you don’t have Jeremy Crow while over here, I wanted you to have something to hold, maybe to keep the dreams at bay,” Evan pulled up a penguin, the size of Jeremy.

     Tommy reached out to take it from Evan. He had tears in his eyes. This was the first time someone had actually not mocked him for having Jeremy. The fact that Evan had taken the time to go out, find this penguin, just for Tommy to sleep with so he didn’t wake up screaming, which meant something to Tommy, “Evan,” was all he could manage to get out as his throat constricted as he wanted to cry.

     “He doesn’t have a name yet,” Evan replied, “I figured that you would want to name him yourself. I don’t know any good penguin movies besides Happy Feet. So, I will leave naming him to you,” Evan continued, “And if he works, would you allow me to take Jeremy to someone I found? After you showed me Jeremy, I started falling down a research hole.”

     Tommy was just staring at the penguin while Evan spoke, barely hearing what he was saying. Tommy at this moment knew that Evan was the one. The one to spend the rest of his life with. He just didn’t know how to broach the subject now. They had only been back together for three weeks, “Sorry what?”

     “I was asking if I could take Jeremy to a repair shop I found online,” Evan repeated. Tommy leaned into Evan, just staring at this new penguin, “He’s got a great online presence, lots of five star reviews on Google. I figured we could make Jeremy last awhile longer if we took him in for some repairs.”

     Tommy nodded his head absently at that, “Sounds good,” He said.

     “You seem a little out of it,” Evan asked, “Something wrong?”

     “Not really,” Tommy replied, “I’ve never had someone care about me so much. Usually, it was open mockery if anyone actually saw Jeremy. You are the first person who actually cared about me enough to not only not mock me about my crow that I sleep with, but you went out of your way to get something so that I could sleep well at your place as well.”

     “Well, you are important to me,” Evan said, “I wouldn’t have blurted out about moving in together all those months ago if I didn’t mean it. I want you to feel like you are at home here as well until the day we do decide to take the next steps.”

     Now it was Tommy’s turn to blurt things out. He shouldn’t have but he couldn’t help himself. He felt so complete now with Evan, knowing about his nightmares, how to help with them, “I love you,” Tommy said turning his head to face Evan, “I love you more than anything in this world. You are the first person who has ever taken the time to understand me. I want you to be my last.”

     Tommy watched as Evan was taken aback by his statement for a brief second, “I didn’t expect that,” a smile broke out over Evan’s face, “I love you too you fool. I figured that out months ago when I asked you to move in.”

     “We both agreed we were idiots,” Tommy said as he brought the penguin in for a tight hug. He felt similar to Jeremy, but softer, “But yes you can take Jeremy in for repairs, but only because I have Hubie here.”

     “Hubie?” Evan asked about the name.

     Tommy smiled, “Yes Hubie. I’m a child of the 80’s and 90’s. I watched a lot of Don Bluth movies. There was one about penguins and the main character is named Hubie. So, it fits.”

     “You’ll have to show me the movies that you get your names from one of these days,” Evan said, “But now lets get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

     Tommy turned on his side, letting Evan take the Big Spoon position, holding Hubie close. A content sigh left his body as he felt this soft penguin in his arms, and Evan’s arms pulling him close. This was the perfect ending to a wonderful day.

***

Note: So yeah, I admit that I still have stuffed animals. I have the stuffed Mickey Mouse I had since I as a child still in my bedroom. I also have a stuffed Penguin I sleep with named Mr. Pickles. Just something I need to sleep. If I don’t have one of them, I can’t sleep well. And yes, I am actually a 40 year old man who sleeps with a stuffed penguin. Hate all you want but you won’t change me. For the record, Jeremy Crow came from The Secret of NIMH, and Hubie the Penguin is from The Pebble and the Penguin. Both Don Bluth movies.

[wikiangela]

you know when you know (I think I do)

rating: G words: 1.4k

[read on Ao3]

___

“So, you and Buck.” Eddie finally gets on the topic he was clearly inching towards the whole evening. Tommy’s lips involuntarily turn up into a smile.

“Yeah. What about us?” He asks, still turned towards the TV, then takes a sip of his beer.

“You guys are, uh, together. Dating.” Eddie fiddles with the label on his beer bottle, sounding a little hesitant and awkward.

“Have been for weeks now.” Tommy nods, smile widening at the mere thought of Evan. He leans his head back against the back of the couch, then turns more towards Eddie. “Any particular reason you’re bringing it up now?”

“Uh, not really. I mean, I’m so happy for you guys, and, uh, it’s none of my business, I just-” He takes a deep breath. Tommy waits, curious about what his friend might have to say. “Listen, Tommy, I don’t wanna be one of these friends who’s all ‘if you hurt him, I’ll kill you’, that’s not me.” Eddie starts, cringing at the words. “Besides, he’s a grown man who’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”

“True.” Tommy nods. He can already see where Eddie’s going with it. Tommy finds it sweet how much people in Evan’s life love him and care for him, and are protective of him, but not to a weird or unhealthy degree. He can appreciate that.

“But he’s my best friend.” Eddie continues. “And I just worry.”

“Okay?” Tommy prompts when Eddie falls silent, a frown on his face, like he’s considering his next words.

“He’s been through a lot. In general, but also relationship-wise. I’ve seen only part of it, but I’ve heard it all. And I just- I don’t want him to get hurt again.” 

“I’m not planning to hurt him, Eddie.” Tommy says softly. It’s obvious, and he knows what Eddie meant, but he wants to voice it anyway. He would never, ever, in a million years, do anything that could even remotely hurt his Evan. And if he did so unknowingly, he doesn’t think he’d forgive himself. Evan is such a ray of sunshine, he’s so good and sweet, and genuine, and Tommy would do anything just to keep that radiant smile on his face. 

“I know that.” Eddie shakes his head briefly. “People rarely do. It’s just that, Buck always gives a thousand percent of himself into everything.” A fond smile appears on his face, and Tommy is once again witness to the amazing bond those two have. This kind of friendship is so rare, they’re both so lucky to have each other – and Tommy is lucky to be let into it, even just a little bit. “Once he’s in, he’s in. And, Tommy,” Eddie looks him in the eyes, “Buck is definitely in, all the way, no turning back. He’s falling for you so hard and so fast, and letting all his guards down. Because that’s Buck, that’s what he does. And I just don’t want him to get too deep before you’re ready, before you’re both ready, and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I get it.” Tommy nods once, because of course he sees where Eddie’s coming from. “But you have nothing to worry about, Eddie. With Evan…” His lips curl into a smile around the word. “I’m already so far gone.” He shakes his head a little. “I know it’s soon, but I’m really falling for him.” He says quietly, but surely. He’s not used to this, talking about his feelings, about dating, about a person he’s seeing, especially not with someone he’s only known for such a short time. But he and Eddie became fast friends, and he’s Evan’s best friend, and Tommy feels safe enough to say it. He’s also honest and straightforward, and he likes to say it how it is, and this is how it is. He’s falling – or, to be honest, has fallen already – very fast and very hard for Evan Buckley, and he doesn’t feel the need to hide it. Evan is it for him. And he’s going to tell him that soon.

“Good.” Eddie says, tone serious, but a soft smile is forming on his lips. “He’s very lovable. You’d be an idiot to not fall for him.”

“I know.” Tommy grins. From the moment they met, he knew there’s something about Evan, something that pulled him in, got his attention right away. They laughed about it later, after they officially started dating and talked about that whole situation, how Evan put so much effort into trying to get his attention, but he had it anyway, from the start. Tommy was just more subtle about it, and he couldn’t figure out if Evan was flirting that day he gave him the Harbor tour or not. Seems like even Evan didn’t know. He’s so adorable, and kind, and bright and happy like sunshine personified. How was Tommy supposed to take one look at him and not develop a crush, that only seems to keep intensifying the more he gets to know him?

“And, for the record, I don’t want you to get hurt, either. We’re friends, too. Unless you break my best friend’s heart, that is.” He adds, his tone a little teasing, before his smile changes into something fond and genuine. “I’m really happy you guys found each other, truly. I’ve never seen him like this.” He chuckles quietly, shakes his head. “I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but I can already tell you two just make sense. So, take good care of my best friend, Kinard.”

“Of course. I plan on it.” Tommy says, meaning it from the bottom of his heart. 

“Just, not too much PDA when I’m hanging out with you guys, yeah?” He grimaces. “I don’t wanna feel like I’m third-wheeling a boys' night.” He laughs, and so does Tommy.

“Well, I’m not really a big PDA guy anyway.” He shrugs, a smirk tugging at his lips. “But who knows, I can’t really keep my hands to myself around Evan.”

“And it’s time to change the subject,” he shakes his head furiously, “I don’t wanna hear more than I have to. Buck already tells me way too much.” Eddie says quickly, and Tommy laughs again. 

But the subject changes, and their attention is mostly back on the game playing on the TV. They spend the rest of the evening like this, watching sports, drinking beer and chatting. That’s how Evan finds them when he lets himself into Tommy’s house later, since he left the door unlocked.

He walks into the room, says hi to Eddie, then unceremoniously plops down in Tommy’s lap, giving him a long, sweet kiss, smiling into it. Tommy’s free hand circles around his waist, the other still holding his beer.

“Hello to you, too, Evan, how was your day?” Tommy chuckles when they pull away, his nose rubbing against Evan’s. He was spending the day with Jee-Yun, giving Maddie and Howie the day to themselves.

“It was good, we went to the playground, and then to help Bobby and Athena with unpacking, and then had coffee at Hen’s.” Evan grins, his face still so close to Tommy’s he almost looks blurry. “But I missed you so much.” He presses another kiss to Tommy’s lips, which Tommy obviously reciprocates. When he pulls away and glances at Eddie, expecting him to have an amused but annoyed look on his face, or maybe a faux-disgust, but what he finds instead is the fondest, proudest look he’s seen from him, as he looks straight ahead at the TV, giving them a semblance of privacy. Eddie looks just genuinely so happy for his best friend, for both of them. It warms Tommy’s heart. Eddie glances at them, and their eyes meet, and he just rolls his eyes fondly, but is still smiling.

“Okay, baby, I missed you, too, but let’s leave that for later or Eddie won’t want to hang out with us anymore.” Tommy says, and Evan pulls away further, chuckling.

“Eh, we always have each other.” He teases and shrugs, and Eddie scoffs loudly.

“You know I can’t watch basketball with you. Or do Muay Thai.” Tommy raises his eyebrow, giving Evan a knowing look. He can barely watch any sports with Evan, actually, because he never really gets into it, and whenever he gets bored, somehow they end up making out through the whole thing. Evan’s really good at distracting Tommy from just about anything.

“Oh, that’s all you need me for?” Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Fine, then I’ll just leave you two-” he starts getting up, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Sit down and drink your beer.” Buck laughs, as he climbs off Tommy’s lap and pulls out a phone out of his pocket. Eddie sits back down, laughing as well. “I’m gonna order pizza for dinner. Any preferences?”

[read also on Ao3]

[kinardsevan]

30 day fluff challenge: day one

“you’re my new pillow” 

Tommy glances over at Evan as he shifts on the couch, a small smirk playing on his face. 

“You know you didn’t have to go on that hike with us,” Tommy tells him softly, stretching his arm out across the back of the couch. He brushes his hand down the back of Evan’s skull, and Evan leans into it instinctively, letting out a soft sigh. 

“I wanted to go,” Evan replies, turning his head towards Tommy. His gaze drops to the Bernese mountain dog settled between them, her chin settled on Evan’s thigh. “Besides, I think she’s warming up to me.” 

Tommy chuckles, rubbing a hand over the dog’s torso, in which she responds to by slapping her tail against his leg. 

“Yeah, Zale’s never met a stranger she didn’t think we should become best friends with,” he replies. “Have you, baby girl?”

Her ears perk up, but otherwise she stays resting on Evan’s lap. He spends a few seconds scratching her head, but when Tommy looks over again a few minutes later in the midst of a commercial, he spots Evan’s head lolling again. 

“Zale,” he commands, followed by a whistle. She stands to a attention, and then hops off the couch before moving around to Tommy’s other side, laying down next to him. He smirks and pats her on the head a few times before picking up an abandoned cow ear from the floor and passing it to her. 

The entire interaction makes Evan look up. He inhales a long breath, blinking slowly a few times. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, trailing his eyes up Tommy’s body to his face. “Yesterday was rough.” 

Tommy nods, stroking his thumb back and forth on the back of Evan’s head. 

“Do you want to go lay down in bed,” Tommy offers. The pout that takes over Evan’s mouth makes it more than clear that he does not prefer that option. “Okay then. Do you want to cuddle?” 

Weary as he is, a sleepy grin slides across Evan’s face. Tommy rolls his eyes but lets out a soft chuckle. 

“Alright.” 

He shifts on the couch, grabbing one of the throw pillows from the chair next to him to settle against the arm of the couch. Evan stands, stretching as he does, and watches as Tommy leans back on the couch so that he’s laying down. Once he’s settled, he reaches for Evan’s hand and gives a gentle tug. Evan stares at down at him for a beat with those adoring eyes before he slots a knee between Tommy’s legs. He tries to come down slowly, but Tommy grabs his bicep and yanks him down in a quick tug, knocking the air out of both of them a little bit. 

“Just get comfortable,” Tommy orders him, but in a caring tone. Evan shuffles a bit against him, settling a little further down so that his head is resting directly over Tommy’s heart on his chest. Once he’s done moving around, Tommy’s hand slides back into his hair, massaging his scalp gently. Evan sighs softly, and Tommy can feel his breathing deepen as he fades somewhere between sleep and awake. 

“Better,” he asks when the romcom they’ve been watching comes back on. It’s When Harry Met Sally, which Evan insists is a personal favorite of his. Tommy still prefers Love Actually, but he can see the subtle similarities between the two films. 

“You’re my new pillow,” Evan mutters, nuzzling against Tommy’s chest for a beat before he settles again. “Who knew a toned chest could be this comfortable.” 

Tommy chuckles, shaking his head at Evan settled on top of him. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he murmurs back to him, lifting his head to press a kiss into Evan’s scalp. Evan sighs again, and Tommy returns his attention back to the tv, still absentmindedly moving his fingers over Evan’s head. 

He can feel when Evan finally falls asleep, completely sinking into him, one hand wrapped around Tommy’s shoulder on the inside of the couch as the other hangs towards the floor. Tommy reaches down and lifts it up, kisses Evan’s fingers before resting his hand on his chest. Evan snuffles in his sleep, flexes his fingers and then encases a fist around Tommy’s shirt. 

Still, if Evan finds him to be a pillow, Tommy is pretty sure there’s not a weighted blanket on the market that could match his boyfriend. The warmth and weight of Evan is enough to have him lulling down before long, satisfied to just relish in this moment, curled up on the couch with his beautiful boy on a Saturday afternoon. 

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Okay, so this is a little inspired by @dazzle02's post right here. Enjoy! 🥰

"Let me move in with you," said Evan.

And.

And Tommy looked up at Evan.

Blinking.

There wasn't anything particularly special about tonight. Neither of them had that bad of a shift the day before, all things considered. It was after dinner. They were both in pajamas watching Shark Week. Besides Shark Week, there wasn't anything life-altering or important that would have made Tommy remember this lazy Thursday night.

But then again, something amazing always happened with Evan around.

Life-altering was Evan's modus operandi.

They met when Tommy was flying them into a hurricane. They got together after Evan maimed one of his best friends. Their second official date was at a last-minute hospital wedding when the original wedding had been canceled.

Dating Evan was nothing Tommy had ever experienced before.

And Tommy never wanted to stop.

"What?" Tommy laughed, not sure if he heard that right.

He was staring up at Evan. His head was in Evan's lap and Evan just - he kept playing with the curls in Tommy's hair; staring down at Tommy like he never wanted to look away from Tommy as he said, "Let me move in with you."

And it harkened back to that beer Evan still owed Tommy.

That Tommy was never going to let Evan give him. No, Tommy loved the idea of still being tied like that. To forever joke about the beer Evan still owed him.

"You want to move in with me?" asked Tommy.

And it wasn't that Tommy was against it. The moment Evan brought it up, all Tommy wanted to say was yes, yes, of course, Evan, yes.

But.

They had only been dating maybe four months at this point. Tommy wasn't against the breakneck pace Evan seemed the most comfortable in, but at the same time, that was a big decision. And that wasn't to say that Tommy didn't believe that Evan would want this, but it was always good to be absolutely sure.

"You've got a kickass garage. You've got the best beer in town. I heard a beast lives here. Why wouldn't I want to too?" asked Evan.

"Evan."

"Tommy."

Tommy snorted.

"Tommy, I hate my loft. I hate my fucking loft. I got it with my girlfriend Aly because she liked it, and then she almost immediately broke up with me. I haven't been able to decide on a damn couch in that place. I don't know why I have two balconies," said Evan, "But none of that is even why I'm offering this."

Tommy laughed.

"Offering?"

"Tommy, I - I miss you," said Evan with all his heart; a little broken.

Tommy reached out; placed a hand on Evan's cheek.

"Evan. I'm right here," said Tommy softly.

"I miss you when I wake up and you hadn't slept over. I miss you when I try out a new dish and you're not there to taste-test it. I miss seeing you just randomly reading Chef's Choice or The Dos and Donuts of Love or - or How to Find a Princess or Better Than People or The State of Us on your couch whenever I walk into your house with the key you gave me. I miss the lavender you insist on making your house smell like. I miss you when I get in my car and realize we won't be carpooling. That you won't insist on driving and I won't get to play you music as we start our drive early so we can take a scenic way to my work or yours. I just miss you. All the time. I want to fucking live in your pocket. Which is a lot. I know. But I want that. I want you. And I'm so sure you want that too."

And.

And okay, if they were being honest.

"Evan, I - I wake up and it feels empty if you're not here. If you're not sprawled on top of me when I wake up. If you're not laughing and insisting that we take a shower together. That if we do, we'll be saving water. Despite the fact that you know full well that it takes double the time with how distracted we get. I miss you when I walk up to my coffee maker and you're not there to play the 'guess how Tommy takes his coffee' game that I think you're failing on purpose at this point - "

"No, I'm not," said Evan like a liar.

"Oh, I know you are," laughed Tommy, "But I kind of love that because it's still fun. And I miss you when you're not there to get into my Mustang with that jerry-rigged contraption of yours that somehow forces Bluetooth to work on my stereo. And how you keep showing me all these new and amazing songs I never would have dreamed of finding on my own."

"People are sleeping on Kehlani," said Evan.

"Yeah. I know," agreed Tommy, "And - and I miss you when I don't get to kiss you goodbye and hear you say you'll see me after your shift. And I miss you when you're not there to pick me up or if I'm not there to pick you up and you kiss me hello and ask how my day was and tell me all about yours. And I'm not saying we need to be glued together. But I am saying that every moment I get with you makes my whole day better. My week. My month. My year. My life. And, uh. I don't know, maybe you owe me moving into my house."

Evan laughed.

"Oh, I owe you now, huh?"

"I mean, you offered. Pay up. Move in."

Evan laughed harder, leaning down to kiss Tommy. And it was an awkward angle, and the kiss was a bit messy, but it left Tommy breathless; left Tommy swimming in overwhelming yes.

"Okay. I guess I'm moving in," said Evan happily, his smile soft and so excited.

"Yeah, you are," said Tommy as he pulled Evan back into another mind-blowing kiss.

[buckslafdhoodie]

I’ve seen a few fics where Tommy has a dog and while I see the vision, you cannot convince me that this man doesn’t walk into his house after a long day and come face to face with at least three screaming cats.