#tommy is some street kid they hired

[dorylinae-supremacy]

🩹 Henchman AU 🩹

Take a Techno centric superhero AU I've had in the WIPs for ages. Boy gets yoinked after being a henchman for a while. Its fun I like the vibes,

Tags: Technoblade centric, dark SBI, dark!Phil, dark!Wilbur, dark!Tommy, villain!Phil, villain! Techno, teen!Techno, teen!Wilbur, child!Tommy, ~300 words, you get the vibes as you read.

He wouldn't say he was an important kid. Not at all. He was just another street rat trying to survive in a place regularly decimated by villains and superheroes alike.

Growing up in one of the poorest parts of the city taught him a few things.

It taught him to be quiet and mind his business, it taught him to keep his head down and do his damndest to never be noticed but most of all it taught him that being good didn't pay.

Villains all but ran this section of the city, henchmen being divided up between the biggest players and used for little territory spats whenever they felt particularly greedy.

Sure, it was a numbers game but it was one that rewarded them well. They lose a few henchmen ruining a good section of the city and force any people with real jobs into joining their ranks.

There was no losing for them.

Crime ran the city and no matter what section you were from, if it came from the nether district it had been processed through the hands of villains and henchmen alike before escaping the depths of the nether.

It just so happened that he lived on the streets of soulsand, one of the poorest parts of hell he could live in. You couldn't survive in this part without being a henchman, no matter how lucky you were being good would kill you.

Luckily for Techno he was never particularly good in the first place, that's what got him working for the mad ram in the first place.

Pay was awful, most died on the job and the hours had him feeling like a walking corpse most of the time but he had at least a little security. Surprisingly few were willing to hire a 15 year old from the streets despite being literal criminals.

For some reason they thought letting him starve would be better for their moral compass.

[virginmiri99]

The second act! (+ doxxing story)

After the title screen breaks away there is a pixelated set of purple animated eyes (really cool pixel animation I will say), this is basically the character embodiment of the fucked up parts of the internet and the hate Tommy dealt with. It is voiced by Schlatt. My memory gets fuzzy around these part in where the order happens, but I'll get to where he starts explicitly talking about doxxers. At this point he's completely dropped character, this is just him. He starts off saying how Dream called him one night and explained that the group of people who were targeting him and his friends were now targeting Tommy, giving him advice on how to be careful. This leads to the moment he goes to the door and his entire street is filled with cars with deliveries, and saying he owed them thousands (this went on and off for a while). How one time he came downstairs to find police and his parents talking, his mother crying and a letter being signed in his name saying his parents were abusing him and tried to kill him - he expressed alot of guilt for his parents during this. How they were hearing glass shatter one night and found his mum's car wrecked (they didn't know if it was a hired attack or direct). And how they started recieving so many letters and that they were told by police not to open them inside due to the threat of them being laced or containing dangerous things. All the while bags are being thrown on stage from the mention of the deliveries. I believe he did make mention of being followed but I got distracted because one dickhead was shouting during this part. Tommy expressing how scared and low he was emotionally, and how even the thought of going outside made him want to throw up. All the while this is a very raw and emotional telling of the events. The tonal shift and character drop was sharp and alot more intense than what I anticipated going in.

At a certain point act one ends, and a 20 minute break later act two begins with a black sheet being brought onto stage. Some of the bags being cleaned up onto the sheet by some behind the scene people, before switching to Jack (Iain) and Freddie as (Binda) cleaning them up and talking about it, with Binda being naive, opening the letters and talking about how horrible they are. Jack says how Tommy is depressed, and they've not seen him in hours, reiterating again how shit and dangerous the situation is, and the line 'no kid should have to go through this' is repeated. It was very easy to tell it was heavily written by Tommy's dad. After realising they've not seen him in hours they go in different directions of stage looking rather desperately for him. There's a mild allusion in this part to Tommy having been a danger to himself, it is not as explicit as the external dangers they talk about.

From the black sheet previously placed now it's the bag on, Tommy's hand raises (he's been there since the break) and he gets up, to check his fake prop phone, with the joke of trying to film tiktoks and he can't. (It's a writing attempt to make sure the mood doesn't dip too low before it gets even lower). Binda comes back, elated to see Tommy but he is far too distraught, getting angry at Binda and having one of the most realistic breakdowns I've seen in stage acting, to the point he kneeled, curled into himself and pretty much half sobbed. His voice during this read like he was reliving it more than portraying it, but given how many shows it was I'm guessing there wasn't unhealthy acting practices or mindset. After more talking and genuinely kind of heart wrenching acting, Binda brings up the idea of quitting, Tommy debates with this, before leading onto to how he lost the ability to care about his safety, and aka the irl manhunt stream, where he acknowledges how poor an idea it was, and how his parents were watching it kinda horrified. After that Tommy's dad took alot more of the reign with behind the scenes stuff helping him. Tommy talks with Jack, begging and asking things to go back to normal (he repeats that part alot), Jack says confirms again he'd have to quit. This leads to Tommy's decision not to out of love for what he does, and the start of him vlogging (Jack also plays Big Russ painfully well).

My memory around this part gets messy cause there was one kid shouting and and I struggled to focus (he did get told off by staff, but this is definitely a recurring issue between shows). Jack does explicitly say, in paraphrasing, that Tommy made the show for closure. That's the meta reason and the driving force for it. Anons and everyone saying it were unbelievably right.

Schlatt, aka. the representation the worst of the internet, referred as Bob much to his dismay keeps popping up and confirming he'll be everywhere and Tommy can't escape him - the story goes on an incline again, talking positively about being about the Spiderverse premiere and laughing at his outfit, moving to Brighton (Binda gets thrown in attic, not the last we see in the show but apparently where he is currently in real life), and a fair few more things (the show doesn't go too far into the current year or most of 2022). All is going well.

Schlatt comes on again, and there is a song duet where Tommy sings around the the topic of taking the reigns and essentially being happy, with Schlatt joining in to try and counter it. Tommy ends the song holding a note for so damn long, it was also one of the bigger cheers in the show.

Schlatt then continues to trying to upset Tommy, only to go from on screen, to be portrayed by Comedy Joe in one of the purple fabric looking suits with Schlatt voicing over. There's talking and Binda, ever so innocent, breaks away from that characterisation and openly swears, calling Schlatt's character something along the lines of twat I think. This devolves to a fight scene with a surprisingly good starting choreography and sound design where you have Tommy being lifted into the air by his neck and Jack jumping on Joe's back. The sound tech team adding a variety of weapon noises and Binda having to be forcibly restrained for being incredibly violent. Comedy Joe's body ends up getting dragged off stage, and from that we get a lovely conclusion to to the show and a small aftermath of the attic, proclaiming Binda will return. (You can tell I'm getting tired writing this part my bad, it was a cathartic ending)

My brain is doing my best to remember all of it and it is failing simply for the sake of how much was in that 2 hours. And while I don't want to seem biased I will say if there's any part of what I've said that doesn't make sense or doesn't seem entertaining I assure you it's on me and how I'm describing it - in person it is a very enjoyable experience, and I do really hope it gets its American counter part (though I dread how some of the humour may transfer over)

The entire thing was pretty much a Trojan horse for Tommy getting closure and being able to talk about some traumatic shit, with the Trojan horse itself being a well written comedy show. My only criticism is there was one or two of the cruder jokes that the show would've probably been better off without, and maybe less time for the attic scene at the end to show up (because people got out of their seats and kinda stood awkwardly once they realised)

Good show, if you or any anons get the chance to see it if it gets its American counter part I'd vouch for it 👍

Hey so I started crying really hard overt this. Idk if I can even form a response rn I just feel for this kid but I'm so glad that he got a cathartic ending out of this

[augment-techs]

"Pillow Talk" Skull/Billy

"Quite the catch" Bulk/Jason

"Royal pain in the ass" Jack/Sky

Since it's a three in one, I'm going with a theoretical summary/synopsis cluster. Singles next time, please, it makes this a lot cleaner ^^; Title: reckless ambivalence Rating: M Relationships: Billy Cranston/Eugene Skollovitch; Billy Cranston & Farkas Bulkmeier; Billy Cranston & Matthew Cook & Grace Sterling; Billy Cranston & His Parents; Eugene Skullovitch & Stan Skullovitch; Ranger Ensemble. Additional Tags: Coma; Monster Attack Aftermath; Physical Abuse; Parental Neglect; Scarring; Blood; Sibling Relationship; Pining; Guilt; Hand Holding; mention of the Annual Comic that nobody ever brings up gdi; Zordon Admitting to Being a Dick; 5+1 Things. Summary: Billy keeps getting dreams that don't feel like dreams in the aftermath of getting into a verbal fight with Skull, followed by a monster smashing him so hard into a wall that the punk fell into a coma. They were too detailed and the environment felt too much like that time he and his team walked out of Drakkon's make believe world and out into the very ether of the Morphin Grid. "Why do I have to come back again? What do I have to learn?" The questions shouldn't sting so much after the second time he asks Billy, dressed in a hospital gown and draped in orange light like a sundown. Looking so tired and resigned and eyes all wide and wet. But then, Billy actually thinks about it, looks into all the stuff he's missed out on since falling out of Skull's orbit (abandoning him) and begins to feel like he can't breathe: going through Skull's overly full medicine cabinet, helping the nurses in the hospital bathe the blood and sweat off of the scars decorating his back and arms and legs, talking with Bulk about how thin Skull is because his family is always gone and not a lot of people were willing to hire him for odd jobs. What could Billy answer with that could make Eugene (come back) stay?

Title: sheets of egyptian cotton Rating: M Relationships: Farkas Bulkmeier/Jason Scott; Previous Jason Scott/Tommy Oliver/Kimberly Hart; Billy Cranston/Eugene Skullovitch; Rocky Desantos/Adam Park/Aisha Campbell; Zack Taylor/Trini. Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Underwear Model/Ambulance Driver; Kink Model/Nursing Aid; Eating Disorders; Anxiety; Mention of Physical Abuse; Meet Ugly; Substance Abuse; Frottage; Oral Sex; Cuddling. Summary: Probably the worst way to meet a model that Jason could think of was when some asshole got handsy during the after party and the biggest model on the line gets hit in the head with a champagne bottle trying to get the asshole to get the hell out. Still, Jason could kind of count himself lucky. It wasn't every day that he got to meet a plus sized model without a filter from the pain meds wearing nothing but the silky boxer briefs he had on the runway. Or his skittish friend from the BDSM showcase in the building across the street showing up at the hospital in nothing but a silk see-through kimono and an exceptionally complicated looking ensemble with leather and lace. * Title: dancing on the head of a pin Rating: T Relationships: Jack Landors/Sky Tate; Anubis "Doggie" Cruger/Kat Manx; Z Delgado & Bridge Carson & Syd Drew. Additional Tags: Heartbreak; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; That Last Episode Girlfriend Never Really Sat Right With Me; I Do Like Piggy but We ALL Know He'd Find a Way to Fuck Up; Jack Landors Needs a Hug; Sky Tate Kicks Some Ass; Z Delgado is Coming for Blood. Summary: Here's a level of hell that Jack could not imagine when he quit the SPD and went into business with a new girlfriend and Piggy that the ex-Red Ranger was not expecting: his relationship with Ally ending with her and Piggy hooking up and her cheating on him FOR MONTHS before he found out. One would think he was utterly bullet proof, but even after a whole year of taking on the worst of the worst, fighting an intergalactic menace, almost dying; Jack was as emotionally vulnerable as that kid who grew up on the street with nothing and no one. Somehow, though, Jack didn't mind Sky seeing him so vulnerable.

[the-firebird69]

Reckless ATV rider arrested after cross-county chase

The guy gets out and he says I'm trying to do this job no he doesn't need a spitting he says I'm trying to get somewhere and it said we noticed that it's not legal and we'll have to tell it and they took him to jail they got out the next day and he said this I'm really sorry and he got mad it says what are you doing to me this is okay so the guys are laughing and they said he had him do it and he didn't know about it so they took his ATV to his house cuz nobody knew about it but he did the right thing and he said what are you driving around to this place he says I don't have my car since you going to 80 and he says that's awesome you can change the tires and rims and there's no real four-wheel motorcycle that could probably get away with driving one of those and they said laughing he wants to drive one so he's left it's got to be lowered a little and widened a little with new tires and little air dynamic stuff you can even have an enclosure with some of them and I think it changes it so the cops tried to think about it and said we don't have any cars this is like this thing and everybody's kind of blindsided by The Five-Year lag and I went to work everyone and they come by and see the guy it was well this is what do you think that guy needs to make it street legal and so he looked at it and it says the stuff is probably cheap so you put a package together and was registration and they put a registration thing I said if you put it all on there you can just go down and get your plate he said why I said we need cars we need help and this is our job and he said no way and it actually happened and he said we have to fight back on all sorts of stuff they went ahead and did it it goes 95 and it's a stock raptor and nobody's using these things for anything a lot of people saw it and wondered what they could do and didn't think of anything and we're going to publish cuz it doesn't take much modification it's not much money you can use the same rims and different tires and they did that and they're saying these things go so damn fast you put slightly different wheels on this if you can't because you raise it up too high to put low profile and it goes slow so they started working on it and they put slightly bigger tires in height but they're more like car tires so 8 inches is wide and those big ones from motorcycles way too much and they load the suspension and it said we can use these with the police department and he says we can hire the consultant here to show us how he would evade police and we can set up a couple units so they called a guy and they said how'd you like to do that again but get paid for it he said you got to be kidding me says we're in a situation the guy's going to do it it's going to set it up

Thor Freya

Olympus

He says wow and where the cops and we were out there and we know about it and it's not us personally but it's here in Florida and we saw your eyes and you said what the hell is he doing the first time he's just running from the cops but boy that things moving it looks a little awkward so you didn't say anything and that's why and I read it now they're starting to think we're not doing the right thing and we need to and he had Tommy f send a message and something's going well and they're getting messages back and some people have got it loud this is awesome you see the idea they haven't in some communities but they drop it off and drive around the beach and stuff she put these tires on and they're different and they're lightweight and you can go fast and it's like a motorcycle you go 90 and he he wants us to make it lower and four wheel drive four wheel not four wheel drive like it is a quad and he might be able to drive on the road and they say no but we might have hope for that if you see some people are sick and it really did it and I've seen them and they work real well and he says that you could do like a sport bike quad for the police where they lean forwards more so and it would be easier to balance and drive and they said that's really cool and they tried it and it works I got to tell you something this is a kick-ass idea these COPS stand up all day and they're holding the damn bike up there's a massive hassle and these quads can go anywhere a bike can go and more they have so much suspension I've seen this quads overtake motorcycles with ease too if you put a sport bike on there Jesus is a good idea and it just takes so much energy to ride a motorcycle or a trike you're going to watch everything or your wipe out it's dangerous what an idea

Daniel

[bluestar22x]

Colors

A Young!Joel Miller Short Fanfic

xxx

Summary: When you move in next door, you ask Joel and Tommy to paint your house. No outbreak AU. Sarah is in part of the story.

Pairing: Young!Joel x Legally Blind F!Reader (only other physical description is that she doesn't have cloudy eyes); Miller family dynamics

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Fluff, smut, no physical barriers aka condoms (not recommended), Joel taking things nice and slow ;)

Word Count: 5,300 (ish)

Author's Note: I'm not blind myself so I hope I did this justice. I do follow a blind youtuber channel so I've made an attempt to make this accurate considering there's varying degrees and types of blindness. I had to try since I couldn't get this fic idea out of my head.

xxx

November 2003

"Sarah?" Joel called out as he stepped into his house after a long day finishing another construction project with Tommy, kicking off his boots by the door.

"In here," he heard her call from the kitchen.

He climbed the few steps between that room and the entrance way, finding her seated at the dining table, focused on coloring in something on white poster paper with colored pencils.

"What'd you got there?" he quizzed, heading for the fridge and pulling out a bottle of Coke, twisting the cap off. He turned to face her as he took a sip.

"Mrs. Henson assigned us science projects last week," she answered, not looking up. "Mine's on water runoff, you know? How the rain erodes and shapes land and stuff?"

Joel grunted. "Ya. We learned that in school too."

Sarah smiled slightly at his grumpy reaction and continued on, "I got the research paper part of it done yesterday and tonight I want to finish the poster."

"When is it due?" he asked her, walking over to study the drawing she'd made. More than a little bit of pride bloomed in his chest when he noted how realistic the land and water looked on the paper. She was a real little artist.

"Thursday," she replied, "But I wanted to get it done early, since Ava wants to go to the mall tomorrow - if that's okay? We're gonna take the bus together."

"Sure." Joel had planned on taking the next day, a Saturday, off to spend time with her, but he wasn't going to stop her from going out with her new friend just cause he wanted to spend some time with her. Ava was a good kid like Sarah and he wanted to encourage his daughter's friendship with her. It was a good thing for her to be going out with kids her age. She was nearly fifteen, after all. As much as he hated that she was growing up so fast, he refused to hold her back. She was already wise beyond her years. "Do you need any money?"

She shook her head. "I still have that money from dog sitting Mercy."

"Alright."

The Adlers, their closest neighbors, had hired Sarah to watch Mercy for a weekend last month while they were away for a family member's wedding in Oklahoma. She'd earned fifty bucks and as sensible as she was, she had of course put the money away instead of spending it immediately.

Joel wanted to insist he give her some money for it too, she deserved it, but he knew she'd refuse. She was old enough to know that money was tight. They were in a good place, but any big emergencies could easily mess that up, and Joel was also trying save up money for college for her. That she didn't know about.

"Thanks," Sarah said gratefully, getting back to work.

"No need, kiddo," Joel told her, warm eyes watching her. The wall mounted phone in the kitchen began to ring and he frowned before striding over to pick it up. Who would be calling at this time? His brother better not have gotten into trouble again. He'd wring out his neck.

"Miller."

"This Joel?" inquired an unfamiliar feminine voice on the other end of the line - yours.

"Yeah."

"Sorry for calling so late," you said. You stated your name. "I tried calling you earlier today but no one picked up. Guessed you were at work. Anyway, I'm a neighbor of yours across the street, recently moved in next door to Denise. She talked to me today and suggested I call you about getting the inside painted. She gave me your phone number. Said you and your brother Tommy painted her place last year for her at a fair price."

Tommy had been the one to set that small job up. It wasn't what they usually did, but painting was easy, and his little brother had been dating Denise at the time. They'd only been together a few weeks before deciding they weren't quite right for each other, but they'd remained friends ever since. Part of that was Denise throwing them job opportunities every once in a while. He wasn't sure why Denise hadn't given you Tommy's number though.

"You're in luck," Joel said, "We're in between jobs. You want the whole inside painted?"

"Yes."

"Will you have everything we need?" he questioned.

"I've never had a house painted before," you told him. "This is my first home I own. I wouldn't know what to get. But I did get the paint and I'll pay for all the supplies you need to buy, of course."

Joel asked you exactly which house was yours and how big each of the rooms were, if there were a lot of corners, any wallpaper to be taken down, etc. and you answered him in precise ways that gave him an excellent idea on what the job would cost you. When he gave you the estimation he could almost hear the smile on your face in your bright tone. "That's so much better than what the other painter was estimating. When could you start?"

"Well, I'll have to talk to my brother and get back to you in the morning," Joel said, "But we might be able to start tomorrow afternoon."

"On a Saturday?" You were clearly surprised by that.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "I got no plans. As long as my brother isn't doing anything either, we'll gladly get going on it while we're waiting for our next big project to begin."

They'd have two weeks. Plenty of time for them to get your whole house done. More than enough.

"Alright, then, I'll stay near a phone," you said before giving him your number. He used a pen to jot it down on a sticky note pad he kept nearby on a counter. "Goodnight, Joel, and thanks again."

"You're welcome," he said back, and he heard a click on the other end as you hung up your phone. He did the same with his.

"You're working tomorrow?" Sarah asked, disapprovingly.

"I got no plans," Joel argued. "Might as well help her out."

She blinked up at him curiously. "Who is she?"

"One of our new neighbors," he explained. "Denise recommended me and Tommy when she told her she needed someone to paint the inside of her house."

"That's nice of her," Sarah noted.

"It is," Joel agreed.

She let her eyes fall back down to the poster. "I'm almost done here. After can we watch a movie?"

He bent down to kiss her on the forehead and fondly tousled her dark, curly hair. "Sure thing, baby girl. Your pick."

It was probably going to be Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron again, but he didn't mind.

x

It turned out Tommy didn't have any plans the next day either so at one o' clock in the afternoon he met Joel at his house and they took the truck to gather supplies at their favorite hardware store before heading over to your house for two.

Joel knocked on the door, a step ahead of Tommy on the porch, and you opened it up a few moments later, a wide, friendly smile on your face, wanting to make them feel welcome. "Joel and Tommy?"

They both nodded. "Yes ma'am."

You moved aside so they could walk in and shut the door behind them. "Glad to meet you."

You raised your right hand to shake Joel's, just a little too high and a little too much to the left for a sighted person. You knew because you felt Joel gently grasp your hand and move it into a more comfortable position before shaking it.

You couldn't see it, but Joel and Tommy shared a glance, unsure.

"Are you...?" The younger Miller trailed off, not wanting to pry but unable to help himself. You felt him staring at your eyes with confusion, and you immediately knew why.

You nodded at him. "Yeah, it might not look like it, but I'm blind."

Many people not used to being around blind people without sunglasses on didn't know that many blind people had normal looking eyes like yours. You'd even had a few people claim you were faking it because they looked fine and you sometimes could pass as a sighted person to those who briefly interacted with you. You may have lost your sight, but you were a very capable person.

"That why you need us to paint?" Joel asked.

"I need you to paint because I have no experience doing it and I have a job just like everyone else," you answered patiently. Sometimes slighted people tested it, but there was no reason to get annoyed with either of them yet.

"What do you do?" Tommy inquired curiously.

"I'm an author. I write children's books."

You may have not been able to see his expression, but you still sensed his surprise. "Never heard of Helen Keller?"

"No, I have," Tommy stuttered.

Joel huffed at his idiot brother and turned back to you. "Where would you like us to start?"

"In the kitchen," you replied. "My parents and sister are visiting next weekend and I want to make sure the paint in the main rooms are all dry before they do."

You led them from your mudroom into the kitchen and your reddish brown Golden Retriever woofed at them once lowly before trotting loyally up to your side.

"Cute dog," Tommy noted. "Is he your service dog, or can I pet him?"

"Maple is my service dog," you stated, "But she's off duty and would probably love a pet."

You were glad he asked, even if it wasn't necessary in the house. Too many people tried petting Maple when out in public, even though she always had her vest on when she was guiding you. Some people just couldn't take a hint, or didn't care that they were distracting her from her job.

Tommy kneeled and patted his thighs to get Maple's attention. She darted up to him, happily accepting his affection as he scratched her behind the ears. "Hey, girl. Aren't you sweet?"

You glided a hand along the island in the center of the room so you moved a straight line as you passed it and stopped when you reached the end, picking up one of the paint cans you'd left there by the handle and flaunting it to him and Joel.

"This is the color I want in this room," you declared.

Joel took a few steps closer to examine the label on the bucket. "This is a bright lime green, you sure?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at his words. "Of course I am."

"It's just I've never seen anyone around here put a bright color like that on their walls," he explained. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do."

"I picked out all bright colors on purpose," you told him. "I can't see dark colors at all, but in certain lighting, like direct sunlight, I can see bright colors. It's really blurry, but I can still see those colors enough to like it. It's comforting."

You hadn't always been blind. You'd been born sighted, but a genetic disease had slowly taken your sight away and still was. Eventually you wouldn't be able to see bright colors either, but for the time being you could.

"Alright then." He backed off as Tommy stood up. "We'll get to work."

"If you have any questions, I'll be in my office down the hall," you informed them. "Writing."

"Sure thing," Joel said and you just knew he'd nodded out of habit at you. You hid a chuckle from him.

x

Joel and Tommy were good workers. Fast but competent and precise, just as Denise had promised you. In the week that followed, as they steadily painted your plain looking walls so they'd stand out, you all got to know each other a little more and more, a consequence of being in close quarters together, especially when they got busy painting your office while you were still in it.

You learned that Joel had a teen daughter at home, though he'd only turned thirty-six a couple months ago, and that Tommy was an Army veteran. Neither gave details on why he was already retired though. Maybe he'd been injured? You could only guess since you didn't know him enough to feel like you had the right to pry.

Since the Miller brothers were often at your home during lunch you started offering them a plate of whatever you were eating. Tacos, pasta, homemade fried chicken. They took some convincing, not wanting to make you spend extra money on them, but you assured them that it was fine, that it was all excess that would likely end up in the trash if they didn't help you out eating it all. So they ate at your dining table with you and you got to know them a little more.

Though Tommy was closer to your age, and they were both handsome sounding men, you felt yourself helplessly attracted to Joel and his gravelly voice. His attitude matched some of your personality as well. Quiet, observant, with a sarcastic sense of humor.

You found yourself dragging your laptop into whatever room they were working in so you could listen in on them, listen to Joel in particular, even though you typically hated people who eavesdropped. You couldn't help yourself, and if either of the brothers noticed, they didn't mention it. Maybe they liked your company too, you thought. A girl could dream.

x

It didn't take long for Joel to figure out you were someone special. Not because of what you'd gone through in life or because you were pretty, but because of the little things you did.

People in the South were known for being polite and kind neighbors, but that wasn't as standard as most outsiders thought, and you went above and beyond the standard measures when allowed to.

Like when Sarah knocked on the door Thursday after school offering some cookies to buy for the travel club she'd recently joined. They were going to New York in two years and she was determined to pay for it all by herself through the club's typical fundraising events. She was planning on getting a job in the summer too. When she'd explained why she was selling the cookies, you'd bought two dozen for fifty dollars without hesitance and invited her in to hang out while he and Tommy finished their day's work.

"Thanks so much," Sarah repeated as she sat down on a stool in the kitchen, not far from Joel, who was cleaning some brushes off in the sink. He easily heard everything you two were talking about.

"You can thank me by keeping about a dozen of those when they come in," you told her, also plopping onto a stool. "Anything more than twelve in my house and I'll get diabetes real early."

Sarah giggled. "Okay. I'll do that." She noticed Maple as she approached her water bowl for a few licks and beamed at her. "What a pretty dog. What's her name?"

"Maple," you replied. "She's my guide dog, but you can pet her. If she's out of harness, she's not working."

"Come here Maple!" Sarah exclaimed and the dog gleefully sprinted up to her. Sarah kissed her head and rubbed her body until Maple flopped over and offered her belly to her. Sarah giggled again and gave her what she wanted. "I love dogs," she told you.

"It runs in the family, apparently," you mused, probably thinking about how Tommy had reacted on the first day.

Joel himself had patted Maple a few times during the course of the week. His family had always been dog people, even when they couldn't afford dogs.

"Dad told me you're an author," Sarah said.

"He did?"

Joel felt your eyes on his back and heat flooded his face. He didn't want you thinking he gossiped about you behind your back or something like that. He wasn't that type of person.

"I write children's stories, so you probably haven't heard of any of them," you informed Sarah. "I have a series about a family of red foxes who have adventures together." You went on to give a few examples and Joel noticed his daughter listening intently, ever respectful.

"Sounds interesting," Sarah told her afterwards. "I probably would've loved your stories as a kid. Are foxes your favorite animal?"

"They are," you answered, nodding. "Red foxes in particular. They're just such elegant canines. And very clever. They may like chickens, but they tend to rather avoid people in most cases."

"Have you ever seen one in person?"

"Yes, I saw them all the time growing up," you replied. "Lived on a farm."

"Hence your mention of chickens."

You grinned. "Yeah. Foxes don't just like them in the cartoons."

"I can't blame them."

"Me neither."

Joel chuckled under his breath but didn't let it be known otherwise that he'd been listening in, getting back to work instead, leaving you two to continue your conversation without any prying ears.

He later found out when he got back home that you'd sent Sarah away with leftovers from that day's lunch to eat while she did her homework.

Of course you had.

x

By Friday night Joel and Tommy were almost finished your entire house, only needing to do a few finishing touches on the white borders in the otherwise bright yellow painted spare bedroom.

It was six o' clock and Tommy had to leave for a date, but Joel stuck around to finish the job.

"You don't have to stay," you said to him after his brother walked out the front door. "Go home and spend time with your daughter."

"We have plans to go hiking tomorrow," he told you. "But tonight she's with a friend and they're seeing a movie later. Won't be home until ten."

You nodded, not sure what to say to that. You didn't want him to work overtime just for you, but if he wanted to... "If you're sure."

"It's not a problem," he promised you. "Won't take more than another hour, if that."

He was finished in forty minutes, and was examining his work with a critical eye when you walked in to offer him a cup of lemonade. He accepted it gratefully.

"How does it look?" you asked him as he took a sip.

He grunted. "Bright. But the colors you picked turned out nicer than I expected. Do you want me to turn up the light brighter to see for yourself?"

"I can see the color in good lighting," you informed him, "But no matter how bright the light gets I'm not going to be able to see the trim. I'm going to have to trust you on that."

"You can," Joel said with a pause, "Trust me. With the trim, that is. There's no mistakes. We used tape to be sure."

You beamed at the way he was stumbling through his words, rambling. Something you figured wasn't in character for him, unless he was really nervous for some reason.

Would it be arrogant to think it was because of you and not your blindness?

It wasn't like you had men lining up to date you, but you were experienced enough to at least be able to tell when they were nervous because of your presence, whether that be because of your blindness or your looks.

You couldn't tell between those two reasons though. You were just hoping that after the past week Joel was used to being around a blind person.

You walked with him to your front door quietly, unsure of how to proceed, what was next, now that the project was over.

"Call me with the bill and I'll bring you a check Monday?" You heard Joel pick up the tool belt he'd left by the door earlier.

"Sure," he said quietly.

You reached out and grabbed onto his arm before he could open the door on instinct. You wanted to stop him and so you did. It was the first time you'd ever touched him. His arm was toasty warm and you could feel the outline of his bicep under your palm.

You could not see his eyes turn back to you, but you knew they had.

"Thanks for helping me out on short notice," you said in a rush.

"No need to thank me," he countered with a shrug. You dropped your hand back to your side as he continued, "We were between jobs. If anything, you helped us."

You smiled at his insistence. "We helped each other then. My family will see the place as I want them to see it, and you have a little more money to put into Sarah's college savings."

"How'd...?"

You rolled your eyes, but another smile played on your lips. "Any good father's got a savings for their kid, and you're one of the best."

"Sarah tell you that?"

"I don't always need spoken words to see something."

There was some silence after that. "I'd better get home," Joel said eventually, awkwardly.

You pursed your lips. "Didn't you say Sarah's only going to get home at ten?"

"Yeah, why?"

You weren't sure and would never be sure how you grew to be so bold, but that night you knew what you wanted and you weren't going to let him leave until he at least knew it too. "I want you to stay."

"Why? You got something else that needs to be done?" he inquired obliviously.

One thing was clear to you in that moment - Joel Miller hadn't been flirted with in a long time, or at least had been too busy to notice.

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes at him again and instead placed a hand on the back of his neck.

"I want you," you whispered.

You felt him stiffen under your touch and the next thing you knew he was pressing his soft, plump lips against your own in a heated kiss. He pulled away moments later instead of deepening it, but it had gone on long enough to leave you breathing out heavier than you were before.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't have done that without asking."

"I wanted you to," you told him, cupping his face and guiding it back to yours. His mouth opened and you slid your tongue in, sliding it alongside his as you let out a hungry moan. He tasted good.

His hands wandered slowly down the sides of your body, tracing the outline of it until he reached your hips and curled his fingers around them. "Is this alright, sweetheart?"

You nodded vigorously and leaned into him, desperately trying to deepen your shared kisses even more. He guided you to the nearest wall and pressed you up against it as he parted his mouth from yours to kiss down your face to your neck, nibbling over your pulse, and your eyes fluttered shut to focus on the sensation of his teeth scraping the sensitive skin there. "Joel," you mewled.

"You sure you want me?" he asked as he jerked away. "Shit, I don't have any condoms anyway."

"That's okay," you said quickly, afraid he was about to put a stop to what was happening. "I have an implant and I've been tested recently. I haven't been with anyone since. You?"

"Last test was years ago, but I ain't been with anyone since then either," he promised.

You believed him. He was so invested in earning money and raising his daughter right it didn't surprise you he hadn't taken any time to be romantic with anyone in a long time. The thought made you yearn for him even more. Nothing was more attractive to you than a man who put his family's needs before his own. Who'd do anything for them, no matter the cost.

You found his lips again and reached down to unbuckle his belt, but he shoved your hands away. "Not here," he murmured in your ear.

He led you down the hallway to your bedroom, kissing you as you went.

He reached to turn on the light in the dark room but you stopped him. He frowned. "That'll only allow me to see the blue painted walls," you explained. "I don't need that right now. Right now I just want to feel you. To see you."

He immediately understood, guiding your hand to his face and you moved your fingers over it to study him, to get an idea of the main features of his face, and he silently stood there and let you. His thick eyebrows, his long lashes, the laughter lines around his eyes, his sharply curved nose, his neatly trimmed beard, and those soft lips, now puffy from their interactions with your own - you realized he was even more handsome than you'd thought.

"Like what you feel?" he questioned a few beats after you lowered your hand to rest over his shoulders, like the other one was.

"Definitely," you answered. "But a pretty face isn't what's going to satisfy me."

He groaned softly and found your mouth again as you focused on taking off his belt, chucking it to a far side of the room with a clink of metal on hardwood as his hands slipped under your shirt.

"Can I take this off?" he asked.

"Only if I can unbutton yours first," you replied, fingers finding the top button of his flannel shirt.

He patiently waited as you worked on all the buttons then chucked the shirt and the one underneath away as your hands took to his broad chest. You only pulled away long enough to fulfill your end of the bargain, to help him remove your blouse.

He explored your mouth again, needy. You could feel the pent up tension underneath his skin, could feel the hardness of his bulge as he pressed you closer to him, his hands splayed widely on your lower back. He was near desperate for you.

You unbuttoned his jeans and slipped a hand into his boxers, running your hand over his length, giving it a squeeze and a pump. He lurched forward, into your touch with a loud grunt. "I can't take that," he panted as he stepped back. "Not tonight, honey."

The rest of your clothes swiftly found a place on the floor and you found yourself being pressed into your mattress by his body as he covered you and lit you on fire with the gentle touches of his rough hands.

Though he was clearly in need of you, he took his time with you, kissing down your neck and chest, sucking on and swirling his tongue around both your nipples, nibbling the skin over your belly, trying to draw out as many gasps from you as he could. He got a lot. The feeling of his mouth on you, his body over you, it was almost satisfying enough. Almost.

"Now, Joel," you begged.

You felt one of his hands make its way between your legs to gently spread them apart, to slip his fingers through your folds, and he pulled them back almost immediately, to examine them. "Damn, honey, you're already soaked."

"Been thinking about this for a while," you explained. It had been a long week.

"Won't make you wait longer then," he told you, and you felt his left hand go to the outside of your thigh as he guided himself slowly into you with his right one. He was thick, but not unbearably so, and you threw your head back onto your pillow as he perfectly filled you up, clutching at the sheets underneath you at the same time.

He held himself above you as he began to slowly pump into you, making sure you felt every ridge and vein of his cock as he dragged it along inside your heat, and you wrapped your arms around his impressive shoulders, tugging his head down to kiss him between the soft gasps you released every time he pushed back into you.

He built you up like a man with all the time in the world, taking every opportunity to caress you and taste your salty skin. And while you couldn't see anything in the dim room, you could feel his intense gaze as you chanted his name breathlessly.

"You're so pretty, sweetheart," he rasped into your ear. "Especially like this. Making those sounds. Saying my name like that. Need to feel you come."

He lifted one of your legs up, draping it over his elbow, and the new angle had you breaking apart with a loud moan, colors bursting behind your eyes as you convulsed around him. It was the best climax you'd had in a long time.

Joel continued to seek his own pleasure through your high, grinding into you a little harder every time he buried himself to the hilt, inadvertently prolonging it, not that you minded in the slightest. You kissed and nipped at his jawline and murmured to him as you tried to focus on the feel of him moving inside you. "Let go, Joel. I wanna feel it. Want you to feel this good too."

He gave you a few quick bucks before his body finally seized up and you felt him pulsing as he emptied himself inside you, as he gritted out your name and buried his face into your chest. When he did, you ran your hands up and down his spine as you smiled up at the ceiling, soaking in the moment.

You'd had some daydreams about what this would be like, but it had turned out even better, not that you were surprised.

Once he'd gone soft, Joel separated himself from you, rolling onto his back with a satisfied sigh, and you rolled onto your side to face him.

"This feels backwards," he said quietly after noticing and turning to face you too. "But would you like to go out on a date with me next weekend?”

You laughed. “Yes, I’d love to.”

“Good,” he said swiftly. “Cause I don’t want to leave this here.”

"Me neither.”

"I shoulda taken you out first, though.”

"I'm the one who started it," you argued as he reached out and rubbed your cheek with a thumb. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the sweet, unassuming affection.

"That is true." You were cupping his cheek with your left hand so you felt it when the edges of his mouth tugged back into a grin.

"I don't have any regrets," you told him. "You?"

"I'd be crazy to say I do, sweetheart," Joel replied. "It would be more than a little white lie. I haven't thought about being with someone like this in a long time, almost forgot why I like it so much. You've really jogged my memory."

You snorted at that and draped an arm over his chest. "Can you stay for a while?"

"Still got a few hours before that movie ends," Joel said, pulling you even closer. "I could use a nap if you set an alarm."

"Gladly," you told him, reaching over to the nightstand for your alarm. After you were finished with the task, he dragged you back into his embrace and you both fell asleep just like that, in the comfort of each other’s warmth.

It was the first of many nights that would end that way for you both.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Main Masterlist

xxx

[a1sart]

DSMP/MCYT Grocery AU! Because I work in a grocery store and it’s invading my head and my interests

This is gonna be a long ass post so here’s a keep reading

The Front End!

Dream and Sapnap are checkers/cashiers/whatever they’re called

Karl and George are courtesy clerks/checkers. Usually courtesy clerks but will check if needed

Bad watches the self-checkout

Callahan is the front end manager.

Kristin owns the grocery store/is the store director and is often in the main office. The store is called Kristins

Skeppy is a customer who comes in often just to hang out with Bad. Doesn’t even buy anything

Schlatt also works in the front office but no one knows what he does? They think he’s HR

Pharmacy

Ponk :D

Lazer and Vikkstar because I didn’t know where else to put them and no one else worked in the pharmacy

Produce Department!

I don’t know what goes on in the produce department because I work in the dairy and that’s clear on the other side of the store but!

Ivorycello is the manager because I like her so I’m putting her in charge

Punz, Boomer, Hannah, Purpled, Awesamdude, Tina, SquidKid (get it, because potatoes?)

The Deli!

Quackity is the deli manager! He mostly does the fried section with the fresh stuff that customers can eat in the store idk what it’s called.

Slimecicle and Michael McChil also do the fried stuff

Connor makes sandwiches

Mamacita and Mexican Dream work the meat deli wall.

Billzo runs the Sushi bar! No one knows how he manages to run the sushi bar and also be in the frozen department at the same time but he is.

The Bakery

Niki is the bakery manager!

Captain puffy and Corpse is here too because the image of him making cookies is really nice

Ghostbur! How is he here when Wilbur is also here? Don’t ask. I just wanted him here.

Foolish after lunch

Antfrost runs the coffee bar. Velvet is here too but I don’t know much about him.

The Floor!

Phil is the grocery manager. 

Wilbur manages the freight crew (used to be the only one on the freight crew but that was stressful as fuck so phil and kristen made sure to hire a bunch of new people)

Tommy is technically a courtesy clerk but most of the time he’s on the floor instead of bagging groceries. (Same with Eryn)

Fundy, Jack Manifold, Hbomb

Eret does the health and natural department.

Foolish does the end caps and all the non-food items like stuffed animals and movies

Frozen!

Ranboo, Sneegsnag, Tubbo, Billzo (sometimes), Aimsey, Freddie

Tubbo once bet that he could stay in the freezer for an hour. Everyone told him he shouldn’t. He did anyway. Everyone is surprised he came out unharmed. (It’s fucking cold in there.)

The Dairy!

Technoblade is the dairy manager and he used to do it all by himself and in record time (somehow. Mans is dedicated). Also used to work in produce until a rivalry with Squidkid got out of hand. Now he does everything that is inside the dairy cooler. (yogurt and milk mostly)

Seapeekay! New hire and is kind of scared of Techno. He does anything that needs to be taken out of the dairy cooler to be put on the shelf. (stuff like orange juice and coffee creamer)

Feel free to add others or give me ideas or something. There’s a lot of mcyts I don’t watch or don’t know anything about (like the bedwars players I threw into the produce department) so go wild. I’m pretty sure hermitcraft would probably own a rival store and maybe empires/3rdlife/last life/afterlife would too.

[disasterofastory]

Mouse (John Shelby x Reader)

Mouse

John Shelby x Reader

Warnings: John is jealous

Summary: You work for John, but he never saw you outside of work until now.

You work for the Shelbys, more precisely for John, at the betting shop for months now. They hired you to take care of everything he doesn't have the time for. You check the numbers, organize the documents, and run small errands. It's easy and pays well. As much as you were afraid to work for the Peaky Blinders at the beginning, you feel glad you applied to the job. John doesn't make a big deal out of being your boss. If you have to leave earlier because of something, you can go, and if you feel sick, you don't have to worry about them firing you. They simply want you to do your job and keep your mouth shut about everything you may hear about business or anything else.

"Mouse?" John's voice breaks the silence as he steps into the shop. A cigarette hangs from his lips, and his face is still slightly pink because of the cold outside.

"Hey," you greet him, glancing up at him with a small smile before you turn back to the paper in front of you.

"I didn't know you came back already," he says, taking off his coat.

"Yeah," you nod. "My sister found a nanny for the kids."

You left Birmingham for a few days to take care of your sister's kids while she was out, searching for a job.

"And why are you so early?" He asks, stepping behind you to see what you are doing.

"To finish some things," you explain.

"Good," he hums. "You can give them to me when you are done, eh?"

"Sure," you nod, still writing. "Do you want some tea?" You ask him, turning back to look at him making his way to his office.

"Yes," he replies. "Thanks, Mouse."

You have a few calm hours before the others arrive. You check the books while John makes himself busy in his office. He sits at his table, and the tea is still steaming, mixing with the smoke of his cigarette. He looks up from his papers from time to time to watch you. You wear a simple green blouse with a black skirt. Your hair is pinned in a bun, leaving your neck free for his roaming eyes. You are pretty as always. One of the reasons he hired you was because he thought you were beautiful in that red dress you came for the interview. He had to promise Tommy he would fire you if you aren't good enough for the job, but fortunately, you are amazing. It's easy to work with you. You do your job without asking too many questions.

Soon, the bettings shop is filled with people, and hours pass by without your noticing. You have a lot to do since you weren't there for a few days, but at least it keeps you busy. You don't have time to be anxious about your date.

"Mouse?" He shouts out for you and smirks when you turn to him with a dissatisfied pout.

"Don't call me that!" You reply. "And what do you need?"

"The books," he replies, still grinning.

He started to call you mouse when you began working here, and he had to find out that you are a quiet one. You are really restrained and rather go to someone to talk than shout over the others. He finds it amusing since the betting shop is usually loud with yells and profanities.

Because you have a date.

You met a guy in London, you spent an evening with him, and he asked you out on a date, saying he will come to Birmingham just to see you. He was cute, and you said yes but mostly out of politeness and because your sister didn't leave you alone.

It has to be a chance that the Blinders won't be there, right? The city is big enough, and they can go anywhere!

So after your day ends at the betting shop, you go home to freshen up a bit before your date arrives to pick you up.

"Hey," you smile at him, adjusting your coat and accepting the bouquet of flowers. "Thank you."

"I thought you would like them," he says.

"So, do we have any plans?" You ask, looking up at him. He is tall and handsome. You really feel guilty because you don't plan anything serious with him.

"I don't really know this city," he confesses, looking around the ash and smoke-covered streets. "But I saw a pub on my way here."

You know what bup he is talking about, and you want to say no. No! No! No! But explaining why would be awkward and unreasonable, so you agree.

At first, everything goes amazing. You find a secluded table where you can talk to each other calmly. He is funny and easy-going. He asks about your family and job, and in return, he tells stories about his life. You feel really unfortunate that despite everything, you don't feel anything for him.

But it leaves you with John.

"Y/N?" You hear your name from Lizzie, and the blood freezes in your veins immediately.

"Lizzie," you greet her, trying to be as polite as possible.

"I didn't know you have a life outside of work," she teases.

"Now you know," you reply, praying she will leave soon enough. But of course, you are not lucky enough. She glances at the man in front of you and starts grinning.

"Oh," she gasps. "You are on a date!"

"I…" you want to disagree, but you stop at the last second. Yes, it's a date. Why do you want to deny it?

And the moment the door of the small nook bursts open, you know everything turns from bad to worse.

"Who is on a date?" John asks, but the teasing smirk disappears from his face the moment he sees you with another man.

You don't know why you feel so guilty all of sudden.

"Hey," you greet him, not knowing what else to say.

"I didn't know my little mouse had a date today," he says. Tension vibrates around him as he lits the cigarette between his lips. His steps are slow and threatening as he walks over to you while his brothers watch the whole scene at the entrance of their small nook.

"I didn't know I had to tell you," you snap back. "And I would appreciate it if you would leave us alone."

"See? I can't do that, sweetheart."

"Why?"

"How should I know this gentleman is worthy of you?" He asks, and there is something in his voice that makes you worry and angry at the same time.

"I can decide about it," you answer. "You can go."

"Nah," he shakes his head. "I should stay."

"John…" you start, but your date cuts in. The poor guy was quiet and confused the whole time.

"If the lady wants you to go, I think you should go, man."

"Yeah?" John smirks before his expression changes to serious. "I think you should go and fuck off till you can!"

Your heart jumps up to your throat as you stand up and put your hand on John's shoulder to stop him before he does something stupid.

"Stop it, John!"

"Do you think you can come here and steal our women, eh?" He asks, not even reacting to you. "You would do better if you would fuck off before I cut a smile on your fucking face!"

"Oh my god!" You gasp. "Do something!" You shout at his brothers, but they don't make a move. Tommy seems bored, and Arthur looks like he just waits for the opportunity to beat the shit out of somebody.

"Do you hear me?" John shouts.

"We should go," you look at your date, panicked.

"You stay!" John snaps, turning to you. "He goes if he knows what's good for him."

And with that, your date stands up, takes his coat, and leaves without another word. You should feel a bit offended since he gave up on you so easily, but you wanted nothing from him, and you are grateful he was smart enough to leave without a fight.

Snapping your head in his way, you are not sure you should leave him too or scream at him in anger. You decide on the first option. You grab your coat and bag, avoiding looking up from the floor as your skin burns with anger and embarrassment.

"You won't go after him!" He states, but you don't react until he grabs your arm and pulls you back.

"It's none of your business!" You snap, looking at him straight in the eyes. "You had no right to do this!"

"I have every right to keep you away from the Italians!"

"Oh, so you are racist now?" You scoff, still trying to free yourself from his grasp.

"It's nothing to do with it!"

"Sure," you hum, words dripping with sarcasm.

"He says the truth, Y/N," Tommy says when he has enough of the scene in front of the whole pub, even if they are mostly Peaky Blinders. "We don't have a good relationship with the Italians."

All of sudden, you feel mortified.

"Let me go," you whisper, too afraid that if you speak any louder, your voice will tremble. And seeing your state, John does. He watches you run out of the pub, not knowing what to do.

"Go after her," Lizzie orders him, rolling her eyes.

He catches up with you at the corner, grabbing you again to make you face him. Tears run down your cheeks, and your shoulders shake as you try to keep your crying at bay.

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Don't tell me you loved him."

"No," you shake your head. "I didn't even like him that much."

"Then what?"

"I told him I work for the Shelbys."

"So? You did nothing wrong."

"But the only reason somebody asks me out is to get closer to you?" You sniff, wiping your face. Your mascara is probably ruined.

You don't understand why you feel so devastated. You are just embarrassing yourself in front of your boss.

"I wanted to ask you out," he blurts out, mostly because it's true and because he doesn't know what to do with crying women.

"Oh, god," you laugh, without any humor in your voice, ready to turn around and go home. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not," he argues, grabbing you by your waist. "I didn't want to corner you at work, but I never see you anywhere else. I just didn't get a chance to do it."

As you calm down, a small smile creeps up on his face. You slowly but surely relax between his arms as you play with the collar of his shirt.

"Are you serious?"

"Like a fuckin' heart attack."

You still sniffle, and your eyes are red from crying, but John still thinks you are the prettiest thing he ever saw.

"So what do you say, eh?" He asks, pulling you closer until your whole body is pressed against him. "I will pick you up tomorrow morning, and we will go somewhere. We can go to London, or I know a place where we could have a picnic."

"I would like that," you nod, smiling.

"Whatever you want," he promises before a teasing smirk pulls on his lips. "Who thought my little mouse can yell like this, eh?"

[leam1983]

So, you wanna play the Wizard Game...

Let's start with a point of comparison.

When I was a kid, in the halcyon age of the Nineties, Earthworm Jim 1 and 2 were my jam on the SNES. I loved the associated cartoon, and basically owed my exposure to absurdist humor to concepts like the Great Cosmic Worm or the launching of cows into the stratosphere using a crude fulcrum. To me, EWJ was zany, lively, more than content to wag its Vaudevillan villains around for non-crucial bits of mundane evilness that went as far as being rude to the postman - and mostly innocent.

Then, time passed, I grew up, and came to learn of Doug TenNapel, the creator of the IP - and of his views.

Doug TenNapel is a Conservative who mealy-mouths his way around bigotry and antisemitism, more or less the type to Tommy Tallarico his way out of a situation by waving the "Lookit, I'm zany!" card as if we were still effectively in 1995. He tried for a comeback with a Webcomic entitled Ratfist, back in 2010, but his views more or less blew up in his face. Ratfist was unceremoniously concluded and TenNapel effectively faded from public consciousness.

I spent a few weeks wondering how I felt about this. I still had some fondness for EWJ and for ancillary projects that bore a bit of that TenNapel touch (like Shiny Entertainment's MDK), and it took me a while to remember that no, some literary analysis devices that I've been taught to use in the field are not, in fact, a form of tacit approval of the author's views.

Fast-forward to today, and I'm seeing a world where you cannot extricate a work from its author, where someone having a stroke of genius one particular decade ago and then turning into a raging shithole several years later apparently disqualifies everything they've put up in the past from any sort of consideration.

Now, my girlfriend had a sideline in Art History. Whenever she's confronted with Purity Culture as a concept, she remembers Caravaggio's works. The guy is a giant in the field of later Renaissance art, both for his talent and for his personality.

You see, Caravaggio fucked. He was a serial philanderer, he got into fights over women, cultivated a long list of lovers both male and female - and of open convictions. He also recruited a prostitute off the street and hired her to pose for him - as the Virgin Mary. Imagine picking a lady-of-the-road right across from the church that's just commissioned you, and recognizing that with the right light and medium, her face had those exactingly precise characteristics the elite looked for in their depictions of religious figures. For his time, he was as controversial as you could imagine. By today's standards, he'd probably have a massive following on Tumblr, if he were both alive and had a blog of his own. I don't think it'd be much of a stretch to imagine him as an ally, actually.

Despite that, no Art History student will ever look at his works in the context of who Caravaggio was. They'll look at his works in the context of when and where they were made. There's a massive difference there. In my own studies, I've done the same for everyone between Zola to Steinbeck, and I've definitely given Joanne Katherine Rowling's flagship series more of a critical eye.

Just - not in the way I'd assume most people would appreciate, these days. The Potterverse, if you will, is one that's effectively designed to be formative for younger readers, and one that quite visibly predates the author's drift towards reactionary politics. You can spot weak shades of it in some places, like Dumbledore's tokenistic referral as a gay man, but the series actually strives for inclusiveness. As to why trans characters never came into play, I'd chalk it up to ignorance and lack of comfort. I'm only a cis and bi man, and it took me years of study and careful attention to work past my own fears and workshop a trans character that wouldn't be - hopefully - much of an offense to anyone. Rowling herself simply never had that chance, or never took it once it was offered.

Obviously, she won't take it now even if it's offered. Her later works are disturbingly facile, in the sense that most skilled authors tend to use their external voice to provide mere observations and not to unsubtly pass judgement - an aspect in which she now repeatedly fails. Her posture can still be extricated from what she's written under the name of Robert Galbraith, but it has the relative finesse of a Ben Shapiro wish-fulfillment fantasy. Considering, I find it quite easy to draw a line between the Potter Era and the Post-Potter Era. There's a bitterness at play in her later works that just isn't present in what actually serves as her juvenilia, effectively.

There's a young and hopeful JKR drawing sketches in a café, and then there's the frustrated and bitter woman pulling increasingly desperate pleas for relevance. The lines couldn't possibly be any clearer.

So - let's assume you've effectively killed Rowling in the sense used by Narratology theorists and removed her from any consideration in her works. Can you play Hogwarts Legacy knowing that a small, if not insignificant portion of its royalties are going to go to Rowling's pockets?

Yes. How, you might ask?

Pirate it. If the Wizarding World still matters to you, pirate the fuck out of this one. Rip her books and upload raw PDFs to your Kindle. Considering the game's dev history, I'm sure plenty of employees in Avalanche itself would give you their blessing.

The Death of the Author absolutely does apply - especially in a situation where means exist to obtain the media involved at no cost whatsoever beyond your own bandwidth.

[bansq]

i’ve seen many dark sbi/evil sbi au’s,,,,, do you have any takes on that?

i don't know if they quite fit into the dark sbi category but i found two older ideas of dark-ish aus that I've had :D (also they're mostly abt emerald duo,,)

1. post-apocalyptic au with emerald duo as mercenaries for hire. phil's an ex-soldier with mechanical wings who became disillusioned with the military and defected. the army stopped creating 'avians' after that because too few of them survived to be of use. techno was taken from the streets as a child to be experimented on by the military. he managed to escape and met philza, after that they've been inseparable.

i haven't thought of a plot since i abandoned the idea, it's just vibes. wilbur's a scrap salesman in a bigger city. tommy, tubbo and ranboo dig through rubble to sell him scrap. the dream team would also be mercenaries, maybe hunting for phil and techno. crumb cuptoast works as an information broker. so no one is really evil, they're just outlaws.

2. I've been just calling this 'crime time au' in my notes lmao. it's sbi but mostly phil-centric. it is also set in a more futuristic world, about 10-20 years in the future. phil is a father of two (wilbur and tommy) and a detective working on a case about illegal fighting rings with his partner, schlatt. the partnership is reluctant because of past drama with schlatt fucking over phil over something illegal, so there's some juicy drama to be had. i'm pretty sure i took inspiration from batman in relation to the police force, so most of it is corrupted and only a few police officers are actually trying to do shit about real crimes.

the case seems unsolvable, the organisation behind it all seems almost invisible (ahaha surely it has nothing to do with the corruption within the law enforcement). there's no breaks in the case and it seems it will never be solved. every witness is silenced, either through death or money. until, when investigating a recently abandoned site of the fights, they manage to find one alive victim, techno. phil, believing the victim would not be safe in regular witness protection, takes him in. cue some wholesome bonding between the kids.

what happens next? idk I'm not a writer i can only think about ideas not actual plots. all i can think of is members of the organisation trying to break into their apartment while Phil is gone on an emergency call and the kids have to try dealing with them home alone style, only for their friendly neighbourhood Kristin coming in with a gun to scare off the assassins. (also yeah no, techno's like,, 15 he's not a god at fighting he's just managed to survive with luck)

[ronoken]

The Case of the Shattered Window

Did you like Encyclopedia Brown growing up? Or now? Well, here’s my version of it.

The Case of the Shattered Window

 Nothing much happened in the small town of Billsburg. At least, that’s what the adults would tell you. From the outside, the town seemed completely ordinary. From the hot summers filled with the sounds of children playing in the streets outside and splashing down at the public pool, to the chilly, snow-filled winters that blanketed the roads and cancelled school, Billsburg seemed like the most unimportant, mundane little burg that anyone could ask for.

The children of Billsburg knew otherwise. For you see, living on an unassuming cul-de-sac in a two-story brick home was a trio that had become legends to anyone under the age of eighteen. They were the Frye sisters, and if the town was normal, the Frye sisters were anything but.

Now, that’s not to say that they didn’t behave like ordinary girls. They bickered and fought with each other and went to school and played with their friends like most girls their age. However, when trouble reared its ugly head, you could count on the Frye sisters to take center stage. When a kid in the neighborhood had a problem, the Frye sisters were the ones everyone went to. Each sister had their own special talent, and when they worked together, there was practically nothing they couldn’t accomplish.

The oldest, Lilian, was your standard pretty blonde middle schooler. While at first glance she might have appeared like a wisp of a thing, she was the muscle of the group, and did not put up with her sisters (or anyone else for that matter) getting bullied. Everyone, even the rough and tumble teens of Billsburg knew that it wasn’t worth it to get into it with Lilian. Not unless you wanted a black eye, that is.

The middle Frye sister, Elanor, was known for her ability to persuade anyone to do practically anything. Under her long, messy brown hair was a set of wide eyes and a disarming smile, but those weren’t her biggest weapons. She was a talker, and she knew exactly what to say to get people to do what she wanted. While this concerned her parents to some degree, it had served to help Elanor and her sisters to get into and out of trouble more times than anyone could count.

The youngest, Gwendolyn, was where the trio went from impressive to legendary among the children of Billsburg. The tiny, usually messy redhead could be found digging for worms, playing in leaves, and doing everything she could to get herself dirty when playing, but when a mystery needed to be solved, there were few people out there who could match her sharp, deductive mind. She was the sleuth of the group, and even if it didn’t seem like she was paying attention, you’d better believe that there was nothing that got by her keen gaze.

So, when a child needed help, and when it was the kind of help that adults are unable or unwilling to provide, that child knew that they could turn to the Frye sisters. For a fee, of course. It was Elanor that handled the books, and while all three sisters were happy to lend their services where they could, they admitted it was nice to collect a dollar a job.

One such job arrived on a normal, June day in the form of a sweaty young man standing at the Frye family door. Lilian opened the front screen to reveal Tommy Lawson from one street over. He was covered in grass stains and looked like he was about to cry.

“I need to hire you,” he said as he wiped some sweat from his forehead. Whether it was because they were bored or they had heard him, the other two Frye sisters appeared behind Lilian and took in the sight of their messy neighbor.

“Well, we’re always up for a new job. So, what happened to you?” Elanor asked.

“I was mowing Mrs. Wilkinson’s yard down the street,” Tommy said as he pointed down the lane. “It’s part of my new business.”

“Business?” Elanor perked up. “What business?”

Tommy dug into his pocket and pulled out a business card. It read

TOMMY LAWSON: LANDSCAPE SERVICES

“You’ll get plenty of work in this neighborhood,” said Gwen. “Have you tried Mr. Linkletter down the street? He can’t mow with that bad back of his.”

“I won’t be getting much of any business now,” Tommy sighed. “Not after what happened with Mrs. Wilkinson.”

All three girls asked at once. “What happened?”

“Well,” Tommy started, “I had spoken with Mrs. Wilkinson about handling her yard, and she was fine with it. I charged her ten bucks for the front and back, and she threw in a bottle of pop since it’s so hot out.”

“That’s not too bad,” Lilian said.

“Anyway, I had just gotten done with the front and went around to the back shed to get her gas can to refill her mower when I heard Mrs. Wilkinson shout for me. When I came back around to the front, her bay window was shattered. Mrs. Wilkinson said I must have hit a rock and smashed it, but I didn’t! Her window was fine when I went around back.”

“That’s rough,” Lilian said.

Tommy nodded. “Mrs. Wilkinson told me to go home and that she was going to make my dad pay for the window, but I wasn’t the one who threw the rock.”

“You think someone smashed it on purpose?” Gwen asked.

“I sure do,” Tommy said. “I was back there for a good few minutes. Someone had time to throw a rock and book it out of there, easy.”

“So, who do you think threw the rock?”

“Well,” Tommy said, thinking about it for a moment. “Mrs. Wilkinson told me I could mow her yard because the other kid she hired was doing an awful job. I think she’s the one who smashed the window.”

“She?” Elanor asked.

“Yeah,” Tommy said. “Sally Parker.”

“Parker,” Lilian growled. She cracked her knuckles as her face darkened with anger. “Well, that explains everything.”

Sally Parker was known by most parents in the neighborhood as the most perfect little angel this side of Heaven. The local children, however, knew her to be quite the devil in disguise. Anytime there was mischief, you could bet your last penny that Sally Parker had something to do with it.

Lilian started marching past Tommy to go give Sally a talking to, but Gwen grabbed her arm. “Wait. We can’t just go over there and beat her up, Lils.”

“Oh yeah? Watch me.” Lilian pulled her arm free and started walking again.

“We need proof that Sally broke the window,” Gwen said. “If we can get that, then Tommy’s dad won’t have to pay for the damage and Tommy won’t lose a customer.”

Lilian thought about this and then put her hands in her pockets. “Fine,” she grumbled.

“Speaking of clients,” Elanor said with a smile as she scooted in front of Tommy. “We would be happy to take your case, provided you can pay?”

Tommy nodded. “If we can prove Sally did it, then Mrs. Wilkinson will pay me, and then I can pay you. Does that work?”

Elanor sighed. “Yeah. Gotta admit, this feels a lot like a charity case…”

“Oh, stuff it, Lanes. Tommy’s a friend,” Gwen said. “Come on, Tommy. Let’s go talk to Sally and get to the bottom of this.”

Sally lived several streets over in a tidy house with light blue siding. Gwen knocked on the door while the others stood close behind.

After a few moments, the door opened and there stood Sally Parker. She was tall, as in a full head taller than even Lilian. She towered over the group and sneered at them with her hands on her hips. She also had curly black hair that she wore short. Gwen suspected it was because Sally thought it made her look mature. Sally claimed that she had gone through a growth spurt, but a lot of the neighborhood kids suspected she had just been held back a year.

“Well, well, look who it is,” Sally said in a voice that was both sweet and sarcastic all at once. “The three little pigs and the big, bad, doof. What do you losers want?”

“You know why we’re here!” Tommy said angrily. He started to advance, but Lilian put her hand on his shoulder. She was itching to give Sally a piece of her mind for a number of reasons, but at the moment, this was Gwen’s show.

“No, I really don’t,” Sally said with a bored expression. “I’m honestly surprised to see you here. I haven’t even been out today.”

“Really?” Gwen asked. “Tommy here thinks you smashed Mrs. Wilkinson’s window earlier while he was helping her out. Do you know anything about that?”

“Excuse me?” Sally asked in an irritated tone. “You wanna accuse me of something, jerk?” She balled her hand into a fist and made to move on Tommy, but one look from Lilian made her stop. Lilian was the only kid in the neighborhood who had ever stood up to Sally. It had been a disagreement the summer before about a bike; Lilian had bought it with her chore money and Sally decided it belonged to her, instead. One quick punch from Lilian put the matter, and Sally, down for good.

“Were you at Mrs. Wilkinson’s earlier today?” Gwen asked.

“I told you,” Sally huffed. “I was inside all day. I couldn’t have seen this loser mowing her lawn; I was busy watching TV. There’s a reality show marathon about tiny houses and I’ve been positively glued to it. Go bug someone else, jerks.”

Sally stood aside to prove her point. Behind her was the living room, and on the television was a show focusing on what appeared to be very small homes.

“Huh,” Tommy said. “I could have sworn that it was her.”

Elanor patted Tommy on the shoulder as Sally started to close her door, but before she could, Gwen put her foot out and blocked her. “Before you go back to your show,” Gwen said, “I was curious, is your mom home?”

“What do you wanna know that for?” Sally asked.

“Well,” Gwen said, “it’s like this. You’re either going to come with us and admit to Mrs. Wilkinson that you smashed her window to make Tommy look bad so she would hire you back, or we tell your mother you not only smashed the window, but you tried to lie your way out of it. Now, which is it going to be?”

 HOW DID GWEN KNOW SALLY WAS LYING? FLIP TO PAGE...

Oh yeah, this is a post.

LOOK IN THE COMMENTS FOR THE ANSWER!

[kafkao]

so i've been having a few ideas, and in a moment of inspiration did some doodles for this dsmp au i have-

mildly inspired by a few YTers and concepts i've seen, and i've even done a few doodles for it

so, heres the premise: its basically a videogame au, most dsmp characters are in and are NPCs. ind of a victorian era cos i thought: hey! what if ghostbur was a sad sick victorian teen

Starring: Ghostbur, aka Wilbur Soot III, Wilbur (around l'manberg arc), aka Wilbur II, and Revivebur, aka Wilbur I. Niki Nihachu, aka Niki (im not creative with this one ok) Philza, aka rich almost absent dad, techno, aka Billiam, Wilbur II's private tutor. And a few hermitcraft cameos.

Setting: Like I said, victorian era. Mainly based in a manor I have some rough sketches of. maybe i'll do a street.

[you, the viewer, or 'player', plays Friend :) ]

Characters:

Wilbur III

Around fifteen, gets sick easily and prefers not to go out in any sort of harsh weather. Talks to Friend a lot [how the story moves along] Youngest of three, twin to Wilbur II. Is called Ghost a lot because he goes into a daze and 'disappears'. Reminds people of a younger Wilbur I

Wilbur II

Older twin to Wilbur III. Is the favourite of the family, being the only mildly healthy one. Enjoys music and writing, but has to do a lot of studying for other subjects, and is very busy. Taught by Billiam. Best friends with Niki.

Wilbur I

About seventeen, eighteen. Ran away as soon as he could, no one knows where he went. A bit crazy, almost burned the manor down once. Only two people who know much about him except Philza, who downright refuses to talk about him, and Quackity, whose face goes dark whenever mentioned.

Billiam [Techno]

Around Phil's age. Has a few degrees, but doesn't talk about it. The twin Wilburs don't trust him much, but Phil trusts him and they go way back so Wilbur II doesn't say much. Tutor to Wilbur II, has actually met Wilbur I but no one really knows.

Phil(za)

Dad to three Wilburs, loser in the creative department. Kinda rich, works for some obscure business. A little more background, like Billiam. Wife is deceased, has not found another, does not intend to. Rumours of a fling surround the matter, but was quickly shut down.

Niki

Around Wilbur III & II's age. Has odd pink hair that draws unwanted stares, so doesn't go out a lot. Is a ward of the doctor hired to take care of Wilbur III, thats how she met Wilbur II. Edgy around Wilbur III, and despises Wilbur I, whom she'd somehow met before.

Quackity

A little older than Wilbur II. Knows Wilbur I from 'back then'. No one knows his actual name. Likes to tell stories about his 'adventures', but will immediately get angry when Wilbur I is mentioned. Wants to be a business tycoon.

okay, this has been a very confusing list [with all the wilburs and all] but its time for the hermits!

Cleo

Younger than Phil or Techno, Older than Wilbur I. The doctor hired to watch Wilbur III, a little unethical and expensive but does her job really well and is great with kids. The legal(ish) guardian of Niki, brings her to the Soot Manor bc she can't find anyone to watch her. Takes the bus from her city to Wilburs' town.

Joe Hills

The pharmacist/apothecary that Cleo sometimes mentions. Doesn't appear often, but is stated multiple times that he is the one preparing most of Wilbur III's medicine, and even Phil's.

Grian

Older brother of Tommy, a kid that lived down the street from Wilburs. Seems, normal enough, albeit a little off putting, and is courteous and gentleman-like. However, in private, is even more feral than his little brother; do not engage. Comes from Cleo's city, moves back and forth constantly.

Thats all i have so far. literally. tell me what you think! also i will post the doodles tmrw or some convenient time lol

[lillian-nator]

Everything below was made by Me, Eye, and Ethan over the course of like 3 days

Thank you (with additions from sleepy my beloved)

Like

Okay

So

Wilbur isn’t the oldest

Techno is

But it’s a war run empire, they take pride in their troops and armies and triumphs

The soldiers come first

So Techno is the commander in chief , the general

Wilbur, second born

Is heir to the throne

To the diplomatic side of the empire

and Tommy Gets shit

He doesn’t even understand why Phil had another kid

Of course there is the situation where Techno or Wilbur dies, or one of them steps down, but it won’t happen

Was he really born to be the understudy

he was born as a backup

Tommy was an accident but they’re not gonna let the public know that

like he's the Zuko

Phil doesn't really pay attention to him so his mother picks up the slack

Wilbur is 21

Techno’s 23

Tommy’s 17

However I have a really good idea for prince Tommy, just like what if he doesn’t like the way that people treat him? Like he doesn’t want all these yes men he wants to be he wants to be told now, he want somebody to tell him he that’s against the rules he just wants him like structure he just want someone to hate him he want someone to not like him and say no and tell him that he’s stupid which is why he does all of the stupid shit that he does

Ever since he was like 4

Everyone has said yes

He wants to defy them

He wants to just do something to make someone say no

That and he lowkey

He wants ~~Phil~~ Wilbur to pay attention to him

Is a Little Shit who causes so many problems on purpose to try and find someone who will push back against him

He wants someone to give him structure and discipline but overall he just wants his family’s attention

He’s broken shit, thrown temper tantrums, he’s started fights and he’ll he’s even snuck out and stole things

He’s never been stopped

People consider him snobby and spoiled

He's a brat

He gets everything he wants, but he doesn’t really want it, he just asks to see if they’ll tell him no

Tubbo = Stable Boy

Ranboo = Prince of another country (probably the americas)

Ranboo could definitely fit the role of an overseas royal prince who Tommy sees as a regal, spoiled, uppity little shit. Like Tubbo, who Tommy sneaks everywhere, has met Ranboo and likes him. Tommy can't possibly see why, he's unbearable.

Bench Trio = Best freinds

I think that Tommy and his brothers were always very very close

they just have jobs and shit

They took over Phil's shit

they probably drift apart as they get older, Wilbur and techno have duties and Tommy starts his quest for attention, they grow apart from their little brother without realizing it

Tommy and his mother (kristin) are always and have continued to be close

she definitely chides him, and tells him quietly to not do things for all of his "misbehaviors"

but there is only so much that she can do, because she has the duty to not make a scene

that and she's not who he's looking for attention from

You may be asking "How is crime recognized, identified, discussed, and atoned for?" more specifically, "Is it a 'you stole my bread so without asking anyone I'm cutting your hand off' or is it the US court system" ~~You may also be Ethan~~

The answer is:

like the UKs

But more like

Okay so the Supreme Judicial system, but Phil (and then Wilbur) has teh final say

Court system, but with Phil overseeing everything

instead of a judge

HOWEVER, that's in the national level

in smaller villages, its more of the cut your hand off system

because the judicial system isn't regulated

So bonus questions:

Punishments and the identification of whether a crime counts as a crime?

soldiers can call crimes out, and citizens can file reports

Phil's not really shit, he just doesn't show Tommy any attention because he's busy with the other two

Just honestly doesn't even care about most shit Tommy does

Like, doesn't pay attention to it until it affects him, he's busy running a country and training the boys to running a country

I don’t think they (the brothers) realize how badly everything is affecting Tommy

The only one who knows anything about the full extent would be his mom, and she’s in a similar boat to Tommy

Phil doenst really see her much either

Not like she could “Make a Scene” trying to get Phil to pay attention to his youngest, to actually love his child, he’s barely around

Kristin and Phil spend time together at night, but during the day everything is for the cameras

its like the UK royals, how they do shit just for the people

And Phil doenst want to hear about the kids at night, he wants to spend time with his wife

Tommy has stolen a car and will do it again

Just fucking hopped in and took a joyride

With Absolutely No Repercussions

Do you think Phil ever tries to hire like, a nanny or something? In the aftermath of the Car Incident? Yes, and it never worked

Tommy, like 15 at the time, pissed as hell as a random ass woman tries to tell him to go to bed at 8:30 pm

Tommy wants somebody to tell him no but not somebody hired to tell him no mannn

Tommy goes to like parties - like ragers

he has a network of really famous friends like young actors and shit

dude is a party animal, underage drinking, rumors of drugs, he’s the PR Teams worst nightmare, but they’re not going to say anything

The press makes up SO MUCH SHIT

The press once said that he had done cocaine when it was really one of his friends

Tommy adopts two dogs (hello Betty and Walter) without asking either of his parents

Betty is short for Elizabeth

He brings them in off the street

Literal abandoned street dogs and he goes, mine now

He like, walks down the street with sunglasses on, and just doesn't look at anyone as he walks the dogs, who have like black nice leather leashes

The paparazzi always finds him walking the dogs

like a modern celebrity

Mans can and will call the paparazzi on himself - because he is a drama queen ETHAN Tommy voice "hello pa pa. I have hired two new staff, pa pa." "Huh?" "they have found work in this palace as emotional support animals, pa pa." "....ok." tommy voice "he didn't even blink, elizabeth the fourteenth" END OF ETHAN MAKING FUN OF THE BRITISH

By the way just to clear things up with you all, Tommy addresses Phil as "Father"

most of the paparazzi's pictures of Tommy are him flipping the camera off

He poses for them

just sees a camera and fucking sticks his tongue out and flips them off

He’s wearing some atrocious outfit while walking his dogs and he just has a full on fashion photshoot of poses for them

If his dad won’t give him attention at least they will

Tommy befriends some of the staff

he hates a lot of the butlers tbh

thinks they're stuck up

but likes to gossip with the maids, and sit in the kitchen as the chefs cook lunch "Heyyyy, chef!" "Your highness, what is it, are you hungry?" "Can't a man just talk to his chef? Befriend his castle staff?" "Ah."

that and the kitchen gives betty and walter treats

Top ten Prince Thomas microaggressions

Number One: he calls Phil "your highness"

For context, kings are referred to as Your Majesty

He calls Wilbur Your Majesty

It was a joke when they were younger, a habit from then on, but now it’s to spite Phil

Tommy spends an ridiculous amount of money on clothes all at once, purely to see if Phil would yell at him for using the family debit card for it

He never wears the clothes

He doesn’t particularly like any of them anyways

Instead he donate them all anonymously

Tommy may be a brat but he isn’t wasteful

By the time Tommy’s 12 he’s started acting up, and it escalates slowly until he hits 15 where things just start snowballing and he gets worse and worse

he's definitely nicknamed by the press as some sort of party animal or fratboy

a spoiled brat

He’s 16, and he knows his place in the family, he is forgotten and glossed over, but he won’t be ignored, not if he can help it

The Public gives him the attention he wishes his father would give him, he walks his dogs with the paparazzi tailing after him, just hoping that maybe one scandal or one horrible picture will eventually be enough to make his dad actually See him

he'll tell the paparazzi what they want to hear

and give every magazine a story to tell

they notice him

he just wants somebody to tell him no, somebody tell this boy no without being paid to please

Tommy probably has like, pierced his ears or smth. Gotten tattoos.

he has holes in his face yes.

he pierced his ears and his nose

He has a tattoo on the inside of his finger that matches with Tubbo and Ranboo

Maybe the picture of him plastered from last weekend will make his dad reprimand him

Maybe the weed found in his backseat will get his Dad to ground him

Maybe the bottle of fucking pills he was “holding for a friend” but got caught with Will get some sort of reaction

and its not like he's only doing it for attention

he starts it for attention, but he loves it he does

he has fun, he loves his friends, he likes the parties and the air

but, he also loves the attention, he's not gonna lie

Tommy who took adderall at a party once but it didn’t do anything for him, he seemed to function a little better actually

Tommy who knows Techno has adhd and takes adderall for it, Tommy who puts two and two together Bc he’s not fucking dumb

Tommy realizing his dad never cared to even get him diagnosed or treated

and Techno does notice, he does figure it out, but he does either a "hey..." or a "m8 I'll just get you your own if its helpin you focus" and tommy is furious

Tommy's life here is just

'trying to be yelled at HARD MODE'

Just wants to be screamed at, lowkey

I think, Wilbur avoids the tabloids

And the press

And the news

However, his advisors often read him the shit about Tommy - or anything about him

But they never see the pictures

They don’t see the picture of Tommy drunk on a strangers balcony

They don't see how bad it is

Tommy however? LOVES reading what the press has to say about him

Phil sees it however,

And he’s so disappointed

He gives Tommy so many talks but it never works

Because it doesn’t get him to love Tommy, to care about what Tommy does

Not like their mother

And he never makes a scene, not in the way Tommy wants to

It's all about "YOUR RUINING OUR IMAGE"

not: "YOUR RUINING YOUR LIFE"

He never asks if Tommy is ok

He never asks if he’s safe

Tommy's mum however, SO MANY AWKWARD "STAY SAFE" TALKS

He doesn't just fucking jump off shit because of her, he's slightly less reckless so that he can come home alive to her

I just think that Wilbur, no matter how busy, would find time to concerned yell at his baby brother if he were to find out about the pills

Weed and alcohol? Not great but ok.

Pills though?? He is full blown concerned Wilbro there

His brothers care. Their father is busy. He's a jerk sometimes too.

Wilbur does put out the fire a bit

He’s glad Wilbur had his best interest in mind

But man

The news headlines

They do him dirty

Shit like “Prince Tommy Caught Doing Cocaine at Frat Party” really fuck him over

They really just try their best to make him look like shit 95% of the time

Tommy loves it, just a little

Bad press is still press

He laughs at the headline Bc he knows he wasn’t doing cocaine, but Phil doesn’t, wilbur and techno don’t know that

It’s a tense week after that headline is released

His mom doesn’t even know if Tommy would have actually done cocaine

They just don’t know

Kristin asks him

She’s the only one who believes him

I think Wilbur wants to believe him, Techno too

But it’s hard to, especially when you’re not even sure you know your own brother anymore

Wilbur says something along the lines of being disappointed in Tommy, if he thought Tommy was trying to be better

Tommy scoffs and says he is trying, but that it’s real rich of Wilbur to be or entering to care now

This isn’t even the worse headline

One time a blonde kid got picked up from the same party Tommy was at on a stretcher, he had had an allergic reaction

Some shitty journalist saw and automatically assumed it was Tommy

They ran with the story that the prince had fucking overdosed for at least a week

The things they say are close to the truth but not quite

The PR Team tries their best to help but

They don’t even know what’s true or not

Tommy goes on a bender for a week, and walks into their office with coffee and pastries to apologize

They all know that presents mean a rough week of damage control

But Tommy imports them these Bomb ass donuts so

Fair trade really

Also heaven forbid tommy gets seen with a girl

It’s the worst shit

Tommy gets caught, drunk off his ass, pushing a couch out a window

(To be fair the people were moving soon anyways, they didn’t need the couch, it was a going away party)

And the next morning, recalling what he did

He orders up those pastries and calls the coffee place

Swings by to pick up the coffee and picks up the pastries all within the next two hours and delivers them on the third with an apology note

It’s fucking DAMAGE control

Thinking about Tubbo and Ranboo being Tommy’s DDs when they can

They are

When Tommy’s handler isn’t around

Them doing wild shit together but not Wild Shit

Tommy teaches them how to do burnouts and donuts in a fucking lambos in an empty mall parking lot

Ranboo goes everywhere incognito, Tommy practically flaunts his rank, Tubbo is considered a nobody and doesn't have to do anything but show up in casual clothes. He has a uniform for stablework.

Ranboo's parents are approving of his friendship with the fledging prince, as they hope he can wrangle Tommy to regality and he's building positive relations between the two kingdoms.

Phil is disapproving, worried Tommy will taint Ranboo and his rep and cause a tense air between the two kingdoms. Tommy loves Phil's worry, he practically bathes in it, it's the attention he so craves.

Tommy definitely will hold Tubbo's hand when he walks with him, because the headlines all scream Tommy is the gay?? and while he's very incredibly straight, he finds this hysterical.

Ranboo isn't always in Tommy's kingdom and rather spends most of his time at home. He might be second to heir or the crown prince himself, but he does have to spend time in his own country. Tommy face calls him a lot and he and Tubbo are ecstatic when he announces he's going to visit

I imagine he's second to the throne because that means he can focus on building relations instead of training to be king.

Older sibling Fundy, gets chronic illness, and Ranboo has to take over the throne for a bit

One of Tommy's worst stunts was hitching a ride to the Americas/Ranboo's kingdom without telling anyone.

Whether by boat or plane, he was gonna go visit his young king friend no matter what.

I say "young king" but he's still a prince. Just filling in for fundy

But all eyes turn to Ranboo and Ranboo is stumbling with attention he'd never known. Tommy has to help, doesn't he?

He expects such a punishment for stowing away to visit, but the headlines are... positive. Prince Tommy's friendship with Princr Ranboo becomes.... legendary, practically. Tubbo is always excluded from the news, even when he comes with.

Never too fantastical for classism

But no, the headlines see Tommy's visit not as the young, rebellious prince stowing away, but as a young boy risking his skin to visit his stressed friend.

Tommy is appalled.

And Tommy just groans and shows him the phone

And Ranboo laughs and goes

“There there Tommy, I’m sure dragging me to a frat party will be enough to ruin the good press.”

“Maybe get a dui, you’ll have diplomatic immunity so no jail time?”

“Boo, I wouldn’t get jail time even if I wasn’t em-mune, I am simply too poggers.”

“Sure man, let’s go with that.”

Tommy’s like “maybe I need to actually start doing hard drugs”

Ranboos just like “no -“ just “Please god no, your brothers will kill both of us.”

The Boo is terrified of Techno and Wilbur

Not as royals though, simply as Tommy’s older brothers

Like he knows about Tommy’s issues with validation and feeling unloved, he knows his Brothers are often very busy

But he also sees the way they look at Tommy, and the way they look when people talk bad about Tommy

He knows if something were to happen and he was to cause harm to Tommy or cause Tommy to cause harm to himself

It probably wouldn’t end well for him

Wilbur and techno try as hard as they can

But they’re SO busy

That they can’t do much especially when Tommy’s so persistent on doing his shit

Tubbo is great with the horses he tends to, and Tommy adores them. Ranboo is an excellent, regal rider and Tommy and Tubbo are more rough and ballsy, so races are fair and fastpaced.

Ranboo once got bucked by a royal stallion and Tommy and Tubbo never let him live it down.

I imagine Tubbo lives on the property, as some servants do. He either doesn't have a family, has a bad one, or his family doesn't live close to the palace.

So Tommy 10/10 sneaks to the servants' quarters and he and Tubbo sneak out to ride the horses.

I feel like Wilbur makes more of an effort after the pills and cocaine incident, he tries to ask Tommy about the headlines

Purples is Tommy’s friend

Rich family, old money

Throws a lot of the parties Tommy goes to

Purpled and punz :handshake: Tommy

Frat Boys

I think you guys are underestimating the time that Tommy spends at the castle

Like he still has school, and usually 3 days out of the week he follows around his brothers like an endearing little shit

But those 4 days where he’s gone (which includes weekends) plus nights, he’s doing shit

Also, yiu know Pongo right

101 Dalmatians

That’s how Tommy walks Betty and Walter

They are like standing completely proper and walks straight

ah yes, the royal bitches and also betty and walter are there too

the paparazzi taking pictures of Tommy and the dogs

and Tommy turns, taking his sunglasses off, and smiles big and wide "They have names you know? You should stop callin' them 'the royal dogs'."

One of the guys, he's familiar with the prince turns on his camera and asks "what're their names Prince Tommy?"

"Betty and Walter. Give them some respect."

Tommy visits Ranboo sometimes. Ranboo was looking for him one day and just found him standing in a long hall, staring at a portrait.

It's Ranboo, just barely younger, hands folded behind his back, the perfect picture of regality.

Tommy is staring at it because he knows that at home, there is a portrait of Wilbur looking like that, and one of Techno, and one of Phil and Kristen, and one of himself.

But somehow this image of Ranboo is.. haunting

Not because it doesn't match with the Ranboo he knows, but because it does.

It haunts him because he can stare at his portrait for hours and never see himself, but this is so plainly Ranboo that it's chilling.

Ranboo stands beside him, hands folded behind his back as they always are when he is in nice clothes and his eyes are visible. Tommy glances over and Ranboo is facing him, but staring up at the picture. It's still him.

The clothes are different and his hair is longer now, but Tommy can't tell the difference past that.

He knows that Ranboo is what his family wants him to be

He knows that Ranboo is him if he hadn't strayed, the same past

Ranboo knows exactly what’s going through his head right now

And he knows exactly what he needs too

They get fucking piss ass drunk in Ranboo’s room order takeout and FaceTime Tubbo

They can party tomorrow, Tommy doesn’t need to be in public right now

ANywyas

Tommy and his mother have a wonderful relationship

she teaches him literacy and history, they have a tutor teach him maths

they eat breakfast together every morning

the whole family does

but his mum tries to eat lunch with him at least 3 times a week

he goes out for lunch the days he doesn't eat with his brothers or mom, out to some resturant, sometimes, they trash it or party, sometimes he just brings Tubbo, no big group, and they just chill

With Ranboo in line for kingship (the way royalty works is that if the ruler dies, it will always go to the next in line of blood, never by marriage. Even if every heir was dead, it would still not go to the ruler consort but instead to a family member of the late ruler), rep is so much more important

he can't really be seen with Tommy sometimes

not on the bad weeks

not when Tommy just destroyed a bnb or set off fireworks with his friends, or was caught throwing chairs into his friend's pool

Tommy likes sport cars

big car guys

He has an exorbitant amount of fancy cars

its truly like

disgusting

how many cars he owns

Wilbur makes fun of it Bc the kid is just now legally old to drive

But Wilbur has so many expensive instruments

Some of which he doesn’t even know how to play yet

to be fair

Wilbur doesnt go breaking his instraments

Techno, techno has swords, which makes sense Bc he’s a general

But the amount swords he has just hanging on his wall

Never meant to be used

It’s so many

I feel like Tommy has a few cars that he doesn’t even let get scratched tho much

His babies

he has his expensive cars that he wrecks

and then his expensive cars that he treats like gold

They’re named

Clementine is this horrendous orange car that he absolutely loves

Its a bright orange ferrari

(He loves it Bc it was a gift from Phil, one of the first cars in his collection)

(Tommy doesn’t know that the idea was his mother’s, his father didn’t know what to get him)

all of his cars have padding in the back for his dogs

Tommy hates purse dogs, the girls with them are always fake and horrible

but he wishes his dogs were that small

Easy to transport

but they got all gangly limbs like him

and stand up to his hip

Henry is his sleek black classic mustang convertable

its what he drives when he doesn't want to be followed by the papp

It’s what he drives when he takes The BT to lunch

its not that the paparazzi doesn't know its him

they know

but he's not in one of his bright fucking obscene cars

The press and Tommy have a weird sort of understanding

He creates their headlines and they let him have moments to himself

If someone breaches that

They risk getting blacklisted

that car was what he drove to his grandmother's funeral in

im not naming his grandmother, but all royals live like forever

Clementine barely sees the road I think

She’s kept in top condition

By Tommy’s own hands

But she probably doesn’t get driven to the parties

Or the brunches

Or the clubs

She's used pretty much exclusively for black tie events

Tubbo is his driver for those Bc he trusts no one else with the car

And he has to exit her before she’s parked

So Tubbo valets and then meets him inside

It’s also how Tubbo gets into the black tie events

so its modern right

so its like thousand-dollar suits instead of capes

so, Tommy just refuses to wear blazers and suit jackets

he always wears his button-ups rolled to his elbows

Maybe, maybe you’ll get him in a vest

But most of the time it’s a button up, rolled up sleeves, and the tie is most likely incorrect or untied

The only reason it’s correct half the time, is because Wilbur makes him let him tie it

Tommy won't wear the jacket because he prefers to roll his sleeves up - he's able to do anything, party or just like rough housing with his brothers, or helping out the staff

Wilbur won't wear a tie, or a button up most days, opting for a high-end sweater and loads of jewelry; its just much more his style.

Techno won't wear a vest because it restricts the places he can hid weapons, and he almost never keeps his tie tied.

Tommy trying to walk past Wilbur to leave with and untied tie

“Wait! You know you can’t leave like that, come here.”

Tommy’s groans and slumps over but walks over to Wil anyways

“I’m just gonna untie it halfway through the party, you know i will.”

“Well, I’m not letting my little brother walk a red carpet with an untied tie, you know I won’t”

The second half said in a mocking tone of voice, very clearly mimicking Tommy’s whining

It’s a soft moment, they stand there together, brothers

And as Wilbur’s pat the finished tie, they make eye contact and both of them have undeniably fond looks on their faces, damn they’re brothers n shit

“Thanks Wil.”

It’s quiet, it’s soft, it’s Tommy

“Of course.”

Just as soft, just as quiet, wholly Wilbur

Wilbur clears his throat breaking the soft atmosphere of the room

“Now go, you gremlin. Don’t be late”

Wilbur ruffles Tommy’s hair, careful not to mess it up too much

Tommy rolls his eyes And quickly heads for the door “Bye Wil! Love you! Don’t wait up!” Wilbur quickly yells after him

“Love you too! Don’t do anything stupid!”

“Oh Wil you know I can’t promise that!” Wilbur just rolls his eyes and returns to his book

Yeah Tommy stays away from tobacco I think

Just weed

and I wouldn't be surprised if like hits peoples vapes sometimes, but doesn't smoke cigs

for sure, its stressful

Wilbur smokes cigarettes though

and he can't act out like Tommy can

and Phil loves him..

Techno and Wilbur watching Tommy rebel in the ways they never got to

They feel kinda sad, that they never got to be kids like that, sad that Tommy feels like he has to act out for attention

he gets to do shit

like he gets to be a real teen

the whole, dumb rich 17 year old experience

like yachts, and expensive hotel rooms, and sport cars

And sure they probably wouldn’t have been going to frat parties or crashing brunch places, but they see him with BT

See him have actual friends

And they’re happy for him

But it hurts a bit

And Tommy's hurting too

It's a lot

but its like

even if Phil wasn't shit

its a lot of attention

like everyone is watching them at all times

Techno and Wilbur have to stay refined in the eyes of the press

Tommy gets to put on a show for them

Yeah yeah

Do you know how much a drunk picture of Prince Tommy is worth?

Too much

Some random guy on his first paparazzi job, gets a pic of Tommy, shirt mostly unbuttoned, tie tied around his head, drinking out of a beer bottle, and flipping off the camera while stumbling out of the most expensive hotel in the UK

The guy never has to work again

Purpled son of some billionaire, and Ranboo a literal prince is with him

They are both laughing at him

Tommy swung on a chandelier that night

A picture of that ends up online, some socialites Twitter

The amount of people in her dms for that picture?

Ludicrous

Like just the random pictures from Snapchat stories

Magazines pay thousands

Yeah the amount of double takes people have done going through their friends Snapchat stories like

Just tapping through

“WAIT WAS THAT PRINCE THOMAS????”

So, Dessert Drinks

It’s alcoholic beverages that have like chocolate or gram crackers or maybe candy in them

That are meant to taste like a dessert

So there’s chocolate cake margaritas, or like s’mores drinks

They’re Tommy’s favorite things in the world

Everyone thinks that he’d like the like strong, burning, whiskey esk stuff

But no

He wants the sweetest thing you got

Like he’ll drink straught vodka, but not if he doesn’t have too y’know?

He also like wine strangely enough

The like really expensive wine

Bc it reminds him of Wil

They have it down in the cellar

Techno is the whiskey dude

Or like 1942

Which is just a really bougie tequila

He just likes the shit that burns

Tubbo will drink literally anything

He’ll eat anything too

It definitely comes from the spot that he didn’t have that many choices like Tommy, but he genuinely just likes anything

Which is why Tommy really likes to treat him out to fancy fucking restaurants

One of Tommy’s favorite past times is spoiling his loved one

Fucking loves giving presents n shit

It's his love language

Ranboo doesn’t pay for anything when he’s visiting

Tommy insists on paying

Tommy has millions from the throne, he will use it

Plus he uses his daddy’s card so like, Phil can afford to spend the money

Oh he has one of those black cards doesn’t he

And by he I mean Phil

But you know, Daddy’s card

Black amex all the way

Boujie motherfuckers

Tommy's drunk like persona is different depending on the environment

When its Wilbur and Techno having to deal with Drunk Tommy

He’s like an excitable puppy, he would switch from rowdy to sappy real quick for his brothers

So they’re trying to get a drunk Tommy to bed but Tommy’s 100% clinging to them

Just full of affection

Techno tries to leave to go study and drunk Tommy just looks so fucking sad

Kicked puppy

He’s very much turning on the little brother charm, full scale pouting, whining, nicknames and all

making grabby hands, sitting on thr ground, fluffed up hair, shirt all wrinkled

"Fucking - fine. What are you gonna do without me, hm?"

He’s a god damned puppy and it’s hard to believe this is the same kid who got in a bar fight last week

he hangs off the chandeliers of boogie hotels

he also trashes his friend's rentals

on the other hand, he hugs his brothers

and steals Wilbur's crown

when he wears Will's crown it goes over his eyes

Still does after all these years

He’s grown but Wils head is simply too big

Tommy has his own crown of course

he just doesn't wear it as often as Wilbru does

Wilbur wears his all of the time

Tommy wears his when

A. he's drunk and with friends

B. at formal or royal events

he likes wearing it when he's partying

still thinking about drunk Tommy and his brothers having to deal with him

He makes techno give him a piggy back ride

He can walk fine, he just wants a piggy back ride man

Can you blame him?

They all really miss being little

They miss being able to be kids n shit

when their mother took care of them

and their father did all the king shit

And when Techno would give Tommy piggyback rides in the garden

When Wilbur had all the time in the world to learn how to play guitar

Even if it comes from Tommy getting drunk off his ass they’re glad they can still find the childish joy that they once had y’know?

Techno gives Tommy a piggy back ride to his room, and Tommy steals Wilbur’s crown and they talk and it’s nice

And as everything winds down Wilbur plays his guitar

And it’s so similar to when they were younger man

...

but then,,, Wilbur gets called down for an emergency meeting

and Techno has to make sure the guards are doing their rounds

and Tommy's left all alone in The Prince's Chambers

and people wonder why Tommy likes partying

fills the time, doesn't it?

He wakes up cold and alone and hungover

And he calls Tubbo and they just fucking day drink man

It’s a bad two days

Yeha but basically after this night he and Tubbo get fucking drunk as hell and they don’t come back to the castle for two days

And Tommy is barely sober during those two days

After those type of days happen Tommy always goes completely straightedge for a week

He doenst need to develop an addiction y’know?

Plus the chaos doesn’t have to happen drunk

He’s pretty irrational sober anywyas

half of the parties he's at he's not even drunk

sometimes he'll get high

but he just likes the adrenaline

and just hanging and being fucking assholes with his mates

POV you are an emotionally wrecked prince who is hanging onto this present as proof that your dad knows who you are at least in the slightest and you find out it’s not actually a gift from him but something your mother told him to get you

He didn’t even think twice just called the dealership and asked for the car, didn’t even know which one it was

mmmmm Tommy wrecks Clem that night

It’s not a good night for anyone

Got drunk as hell man

No dd

Car crash

I don’t think Clem is totaled

And Tommy is ok

But she’s scratched and dented and it’s just a representation of how Tommy feels

Something about Clementine being symbolic of hope and the idea that his father knew him

And with that crashing down

Clementine was bound to crash too

Tommy gets out with some bruises and Clementine can be fixed

But it happens on a public street so it’s everywhere

Tommy wrecks Clem

Then fucking goes on a bender

just destroys shit

parties so he doesn't think about it

and then he fucking crashes

Wilbur and Techno and Kristin all know what the car meant to him, what it symbolized to him

So when there’s a headline and a picture of Tommy staring at a wrecked Clem, they don’t know how to feel

maybe he mentioned something about upgrading Clem to Phil, or offhandedly at family dinner

And Phil asks something like “Right and when did you get this one?” Very rudely y’know

And Tommy’s like, it’s the one you got me for my birthday last year, and Phil just says something about how he has to be more specific because he doesn’t even know which one that is

And Tommy feels everything crumble around him and he just tensely says, “never mind...” and goes back to his food

The other three watch the whole exchange like, “fuuuuuuuuuck”

And then as soon as dinners over Tommy’s out the door man

He’s gone

he doesn't take the dogs, which means he's causing damage

He doenst even take Tubbo

they can hear the handler hand Tommy the keys

Tubbo comes to Wil to ask if he knew where Tommy was and that’s when they realize Tommy’s going out to cause real damage

And Tommy’s phone is turned off

They can’t contact him

Tommy gets handcuffed

he won't get arrested, but he'll get brought back in a police car

he fucking like crashed into a poll on purpose

like it was less on purpose and more like he definitely wasn’t not trying to hit something

And then they fucking breathalyzer him and he’s drunk as balls

Straight vodka type night

there's a bottle in the cupholder

He gets out when he wrecks and you just see him dead eyed staring at the scratches on her hood

The dent in her door

The cracks in the windshield

And he just takes a swig of the bottle

He lets the police take the bottle and handcuff him, taking him back to the palace

Clem is towed back too

He doenst care man

this is bigger than party to distract Bc it’s all he’s thinking about even drunk n shit

So I feel like he’s absolutely crushed

he spends like a week or two in a depressive episode won't leave his room, won't talk to his dad

and then he asks his mom "why didn't you tell me?"

and she just purses her lips and and shakes her head

and he's out

he needs to leave

he doesn't need her pity

and he just goes to Purp's and parties

because he just wants to have fun for one night before he learns that everything is a lie

His brothers are there as much as he lets them be

Tubbo too

Ranboo would try to make it over after seeing the headlines

he gets on a jet

and goes as soon as he sees the news

cause Clem was Tommy's baby

He loved that fucking car man

And then

Boom

One dinner is all it took to ruin everything

Phil's just left like "what'd I do?"

Techno is straight faced

Wilbur rolls his eyes at Phil

And Kristin just looks stressed

She’s still staring the the door Tommy all but ran out of

none of them finish dinner, Kristin waves the butlers over to clear the plates

They don’t, and Phil is just so confused and frustrated and he doesn’t know what happened

Top 10 Prince Tommy Headlines: 10. Mourning or Disrespectful: Prince Thomas caught smoking outside grandmother's funeral 9. New Connections? Prince Thomas and Prince Ranboo seen outside Palace walking Royal Dogs 8. Protective Older Brother; Crown Prince William shielding Prince Thomas from cameras while walking down London streets 7. When Will He Stop? Prince Thomas continues his week-long bender 6. Another Frat Party: Prince Thomas found stumbling drunk after rowdy night at The Ritz London 5. Boy Crazy? Prince Thomas and Mystery Boy seen dancing at Crown Prince William's Birthday Ball 4. Is Prince Thomas's Rampage Over? The Prince seen hungover, nursing a coffee at London Branch Costa Coffee 3. Time to stop; Prince Thomas caught doing cocaine at socialites party 2. A good friend - Prince Thomas flew to the United States to help Prince Ranboo with new responsibilities

1. When is enough, enough? Prince Thomas crashes after driving drunk, arrested.

10 Tommy doesn’t smoke cigs so mans was just getting high at his grandmas funeral

he was real close with his granny, it was a sad day

It was because his father said something like “oh, I didn’t know you were coming Tommy”

It was his fucking grandmother Phil

Tommy just puts his sun glasses on, and sits as far away as he can

Number 5, the boy is Tubbo, Tubbo thinks it’s fucking hilarious, Tommy is pissed

Some of those headlines seem like they’re from the car month

Obviously number one is

But then the bender headline

Then the coffee one

And then the Wilbur one

They seem like a series of events

big month for the press

Tommys hungover and he calls Wil asking for him to pick him up

And Wilbur drops everything Bc he’s just glad Tommy’s coming back home

wilbur fucking glares at the cameras

Tommy's used to it

And then the press tries to mob them and Wilbur Almost breaks decorum

Like almost fucking yells at someone who gets too close

and Wilbur never does that

he's so in-line

he never breaks the rules

but goddamn if they take one step closer -

He’s been especially stressed, and all he wants is to get his baby brother home man

He’s been smoking a lot more since the wreck

He just wishes he could make everything better

Tommy relishes in talking to the press

Wilbur will clart someone who gets to close to his baby brother

The press who’s never seen Wilbur as anything other than composed and charming suddenly being faced with a very angry older brother who smells slightly like cigarette smoke

Wilbur in the Pogtopia coat but it’s some designer piece that’s expensive as hell

It’s his smoking coat

And it’s what he picks Tommy up in

So he smells like smoke

And not the tasteful cologne he usually wears in public

just like a dark overcoat

really expensive wool

Wilbur using it to cover them from the cameras

when they were younger, like 16 and 12, Wilbur would hide Tommy

like no one got a picture of Tommy until he was 14 or 15

Kristin really hid the boys when they were kids too

Tommy trying to peak out and make faces at the camera

it was illegal to get pictures of them younger than 10

like immediate blacklist

And also maybe some legal issues

Wilbur pulls Tommy's hood up over Tommy's head

And it’s very older brother of him too, he pulls it over to protect his face but then cinches the strings to be a little shit

Those Wilbur and Tommy brother moments comps exists in the universe too

But it’s just shit like that

Tommy has a great support system

He really does

His brothers love him

His mom loves him

He has two amazing friends and a bunch of other great friends as well

And sometimes he feels like a brat for throwing all these fits over his dad y’know?

Wilbur always tries to like, keep an arm around him when they're doing red carpets

And keeps Tommy sitting next to him at Royal events

but also like, steals food off his plate

and ruffles his hair

Tommy whispers the fucking worst jokes about the dignitaries and nobles and Wilbur has to keep a straight face

god thats tommys favorite thing to do

he tries so hard to get Wilbur to laugh and lose his shit

The fucking big boobs bit

But it’s Tommy whispering it to Wilbur completely out of context and randomly at a gala

ALSO

THE WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY BULLSHIT

TOMMY HATES IT

LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS LIKE AUNT TO HIM?

HE DOESNT KNOW HER

But Royal Families are always big on that shiit

They try to hug him n shit

And Tommy depending on how Brave n shit he’s feeling (how fed up he is) will either politely excuse himself or straight up say no and step back with a glare

he's honestly uncomfortable around the strangers

who say they're family

like he's too sober for this

He needs a god damned drink

But he’s in a vest and a nice tie and his crown is sat proper on his head

And he can’t have a drink

god he's like a little doll, he plays by Phil's rules

the crown comes on and he's the proper prince

He fucking hates it

he sips on Wilbur's wine, and does the whole "tequila for water" thing sometimes

Flask in his sleeve

Techno catches him with the flask once and is just impressed

god is that a look on Techno's face

He sees Tommy slip it from his sleeve and somehow sleight off hand take a drink

And it’s just a raised eyebrow and a head nod that says

Good for you

Bc techno also needs a drink during these events

Sometimes Tommy will spike his and Techno's drinks

as Wilbur regally sips on wine

Wilbur fucking also secretly wishing he had a flask during the drier events

Wine drink just isn’t enough sometimes

Wilbur puts on his best face

and pretends he wants to be there

and gives out a warm smile, and raises a glass

god he fucking hates it sometimes

and sometimes he loves it

but man, does he hate it sometimes

Tommy complains and Phil makes a passive aggressive comment about how

“Oh but don’t you love parties Tommy.”

Wilbur sits between them

The table goes

Techno Kristin Phil Wilbur Tommy

Tommy just sneaks another sip of the flask

he doesn't have time to deal with his dads shit

Slumps back in the seat

He probably wouldn’t even try to hide it after that

Not like Phil is actually looking at him

He can let the press have it

He doenst care

just like leaves the flask next to him

under teh table

and jsut takes large swigs from it

Tommy maybe having a group of his friends crash one of the stuffy events

Not an important one

So fucking dedication ceremony to some inane building

He just invites a wild group of socialites

It’s nice

It’s not as wild as a normal Tommy Innit party

But it’s not a stuffy fucking boring ass royal meeting

they just bring some fucking whiskey into the back room and chat shit

Tommy fucking has a group of friends crash this gathering

It’s not wild

But it’s not stuffy

It’s nice

Tommy even drags Wilbur back for at least a little

and that takes a whole lot of work

It really does, Wilbur isn’t even a little tipsy off the wine, and Phil been by him the whole time and it’s just been hell, he can’t get wiobur away from the “socializing” hes doing

but when Wilbur is a bit tipsy he just becomes more charasmatic

truly a king

Less someone putting on a mask for their father

A little bit more authentic

he's a natural, sipping wine with one hand, and shaking hands with the other, crown propped beautifully on his head, million dollar suits hanging off his frame

It’s nice to see his brother in his element

its a bit sad

but its nice

A little yeah, Wilbur’s

Wilbur’s leaving him, not really but

Wilbur being king is-

It’s going to be hard

Different

More than it is already

Wilbur will always love him

But eventually he’ll be too busy for Tommy

Just like Phil is

And it hurts

But that thought is what makes Tommy take a drink of his flask and drag Wilbur to the back room

Wilbur doesn’t have to forget him yet

Tommy looks real regal too

Wilbur wishes that Tommy could see what he sees

But he knows that Tommy’s self worth issues would take more than a nice hug and some warm words to fix

Tommy looks regal, and the gold crown really fits with the whole golden boy aesthetic

and he laughs, and makes conversation with everyome

and everyone eases up around him

Wilbur wishes that Tommy saw what he sees

also

Tommy and Ranboo's texts have been leaked once

Wow so many dog pictures dude

but also

:sparkles:state secrets:sparkles:

That was hell to clean up

it fucking was

it used petnames (which the public is never supposed to know about the nickanmes of royals fun fact)

and said shit about Phil

and detailed Fundy's illness which isn't public

and talked about meetings that Wilbur forced Tommy to attend

Tommy was terrified

Ranboo too

He was so scared someone would be angry at him for it

He doesn’t think he could handle be yelled at for this thing that wasn’t even his fault

like of course he could've not said it over text

but one of his best friends lives an ocean away

and his life is just all about secrets

dont make this something too

:sparkles: hackers :sparkles:

if someone god a hold of Tommy's IP, or Phone, or Phone number

or

dms

they could be using instagram, twitter, or snapchat to have some of these converstaions

dms can get leaked real easily

Mmmm you ever think about Crime Bous

Because all I can think about is when Wilbur does get out of the house, and just like every event they go to

Tommy isn’t a fucking party boy then, he’s just Prince Thomas, Crown Prince William’s baby brother

And they always get photographed and shit

But they have a great time

They’re always smiling when they’re together

Sans Wilbur being a really protective older brother, and when their grandmother died

It’s nice to just go get lunch together at that one specific cafe they’ve been going to for years

Or just walk the dogs together

Just hang out and be brothers

They sit at the same table every time, and Tommy has gotten a Raspberry Lemonade since he was 8

When they walk the dogs, Wilbur holds Walter and Tommy holds Betty

Sunglasses on, big wool overcoats, and pants that were sewn just for them

And they’re seen walking out on the streets during big events a lot too

To like take a breather

Tommy has made a habit of allowing the press to ask him questions whenever they find him

Wilbur on the other hand always knows exactly what to say to press that come up to them

He always shoos them off with a polite “we won’t be answering any question right now thank you” and a blinding smile

And Tommy’s making a face at the press from over his shoulder

Either like sticking his tongue out or making some sort of face at Wilbur

As he gets older, he stops doing it as much because it gets a bit tiring, everything is tiring

But he does it every once in a while, usually a sharp grin over Wilbur’s shoulder accompanied by a middle finger

when like press sees that Wilbur smokes like a lot

hm

big thin

and I feel like Wilbur would straight up be like "its not a big deal, its completely legal"

and hes like smoking 8 cigs a day, but its fine

He doesn’t have an issue

It’s just a little stress relief

King at 21 is a lot to handle

and maybe the stress is so much that it becomes a problem

but hey its his relief

its legal

he's fine

That’s Wilbur’s mantra most of the time

he falls asleep in Tommys bed a lot, waiting for the teen to come home

wilbur does

he finishes a pack, and sighs, rubbing his eyes

The empire is on the brink of war, it always is

He looks in Tommy's room, its empty

And he sits on the bed, waiting

10 minutes later he's asleep

The sheets don’t smell like Wilbur, and Wil thinks that’s what makes it’s so comforting

They don’t stink of nicotine or Wilbur cologne

The smell like Tommy

and while that smell like expensive booze, and coconut shampoo

its perfect

and the dogs are in Tommy's room too

he's a little less alone

Betty is the cuddler

She’ll come up and sleep next to Wil

but she wont do it to just anyone

its a bond, its trust

its the fact that Tommy likes Wilbur

she growls at Phil

she nudges at Kristin, LOVES kristin

anyways

its lonely and sad

because Tommy usually doesnt come back

Tommy snakes back in early in the morning and tucks Wilbur in

Though most times Wilbur falls asleep in Tommys bed

Uncovered

Completely dressed

He’s lucky bettys fur is sleek otherwise his very expensive clothes would be covered

I think Wilbur more often then not will wake up with Tommy in his arms, and that makes him very happy

like, Tommy comes it at 5am, and just snuggles next to Wilbur

It’s makes Tommy sad to know his brother is waiting up for him to never come

But at the same time he’s always so happy to see him when he gets home

I imagine sometimes butlers come to get Wilbur for work, and Tommy makes them leave so that Wilbur can sleep in "Hello your highness, we came to fetch King Wilbur for his morning briefing" "He's sleeping." "Well, I can see that Your Highness -" "So let him sleep." "Prince Thomas -" "Let. Him. Sleep. Okay?" "Yes, Your Highness."

I've decided that Tommy is the big spoon

in these vulranable moments, when Wilbur is weak, Tommy kind of holds him

like obviously there are a lot of tims, where Wilbur wants to hold his baby brother

however, Tommy kind of holds Wilbur, like wraps himself around Wilbur, and puts Wilbur's head in the crook of his neck

this happens when Tommy comes home to find Wilbur in his bed

either this, or Tommy curls into a ball and rests his head against wilburs chest

Tommy has daddy issues

Wilbur has the weiht of the world

Techno has ptsd

Phil: fuck you my kids are completely fine!

Wilbur’s nicotine addiction

Tommys abandonment issues

Technos fucking PTSD

Once, when the empires war was getting really, really bad, and Wilbur had to decide life or death shit

He smoked a whole pack in a day

And then just kept going

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking

why wouldn't they stop fucking shaking

Tommy stopped partying that week, he isn’t ignorant, nor a fucking dick

He was Wilbur’s right hand for as long as he needed him

Despite how badly he wanted to party until he could see straight

His brother needed him

His king needed him

And he will gladly serve Wilbur as long as he would have him

He stood right behind Wilbur

Every decision

He was right behind him

Even if it meant constant decorum and constant royal dress, Tommy was there

And that was a grounding fact

If Tommy hadn’t been there Wilbur thinks he may have lost it that week

Sometimes the only thing that kept Wilbur’s hands from shaking terribly was holding Tommy’s hands

When the advisors and court had left

Tommy would take Wilbur hands and make him do breathing exercises

Wilbur wasn’t allowed to look anywhere other than Tommy’s eyes

They would get through this

Together

They would, Tommy would make sure of it

Tommy in the room also made everyone a bit nervous and loosen up around Wilbur though

Because sometimes they act like they can boss Will around

And Tommy is stone faced, and has the media wrapped around his finger

The court knows that all it would take is one “scandalous statement” from Prince Thomas to end their careers

Wilbur could fire them, but he’s stressed

Any other day, he’s a fucking FORCE to recon with

But Tommy? He’s here to ensure the best or their careers would end

And you know that Tommy has at least 3 sources in the biggest news outlets in the empire

He could get ANYTHING out there

Wilbur’s throne is the biggest in the middle

Two thrones smaller aside him

Within the like office / study / planning room

Tommy's hasn't been used until just then

Tommy finds it quite uncomfy

But he can deal

Also Tommy drops the nicknames for the week or so

No “Big Man”

It was “Will” and “William”

Your Majesty at one or two points

But that felt a little too formal for both of them

Too alienating

Tommy learned a whole fucking lot of fucking politics that week

Not that he didnt listen in his lessons it’s just that

Well

He can’t not listen if he’s not there

It’s different IRL too

Seeing all the decisions

It’s terrifying

And he’s exhausted

Dressing nicely and talking for 12 hours a day about politics

And life / death decisions

So many cuddles dude

Just permanently cuddling if they’re not presently working or “coping”

And I think

That although Wilbur is the one who’s going through it

When they cuddle, Wilbur likes to hold Tommy

Just in the sense that Tommy’s here and safe

In the midst of all the death around Wilbur

He needs to know that his person, his kid is alright

Plus having this one thing this one routine helps him feel a little on control during this out of hand time

:sparkles: Prince Tommy PR leak :sparkles:

I talked about how Tommy was close to his grandmother

and how he was smoking outside of her funeral

maybe it was during that time in his life

really dark place in his mind

smoked and drank every day

Wilbur smoked a lot during that time yet

they probably drank together a few times

like straight up vodka

Just they’re so young and so tired

and so its like, pictures of Wilbur and Tommy (and just Tommy) drinking in the parlor, and in the like, bar area of their private living area, dark eye bags, red eyes, just straight from the bottle

Both of their ties were undone, no jackets, sleeves rolled up to their elbows, Wilbur's top 3 buttons are undone, they're both like manspreading

like they're just at their lowest, particularly Tommy, but Wilbur was having an adjacent bad time

Tommy's hair is a fuckin' mess

HOWEVER, they're both still clean shaven, neither of their shorts or trousers are wrinkled or stained

They may be going through it, but the royal image waits for no one

How does the castle react? Immediate lock down.

Interrogations or some shit

none of the princes are allowed to leave

they have to do clean up

they write scripts essentially for Tommy and Wilbur to adress the press

they need to send out a memo that they don't agree with underage drinking

its all structured, scripted, and written by advisors (and their father)

major damage control

which is just not what Tommy needs right now, because he's like trying to work through his grief

and Wilbur has a fucking fight with his father about that

Phil does not care

They fucked up

Someone else fucked up

And now they’re going to be big boys and fix it Like Phil's going to Tommy's room to get him to look over what his quick press tour and Wilbur jsut stops him in front of the door "He's fucking grieving - Let him have a moment will you? Don't you know how close he was with Gran?" "You messed up. He messed up. Now you're gonna be big boys and fix it." “You’re horrible sometimes you know that?” “I am your father” “Then act like it, your majesty”

meanwhile Tommy: in bed, hasn't slept, major depressive spiral, cuddling Betty, Walter standing guard at his door, holding onto a blanket that his grandmother gave him

just - can't even cry anymore

just empty

Literally just despondent

Staring at the ceiling as Betty noses his face

like good luck getting to get up, let alone read shit

He hasn’t showered in days

He is very much not presentable

like it's only been a week or two since his grandmother's death

and he still is processing

He is no where near done grieving

[thomotomo]

the peaky blinders oblivious to male reader practically turning the garrison into a gay bar, despite coming out to the family on many occasions — and the Shelbys just assuming he worked/grew up with a lot of people??

The Garrison Gay Pub

A/N: Heya! I really liked this request, though I struggled to write it :/ I hope you’ll enjoy reading it anyway!

Shelby! Male Reader x OMCs

Words: 1.3k

Rating: T (sexual innuendos very fast)

Being a member of the Shelby family had inconvenient, like the risk of getting kidnapped for a ransom but it had also a lot of advantages, like easily get away with something illegal just by your name and the signature clothing of your family. Even though you weren’t very much involved in the dirty family business you were spending a lot of time at The Garrison working alongside your older brother Arthur and keeping the bar when he left to go outside.

Again you were a lucky one, you had originally came out, extremely nervous in fear of getting thrown out or murdered on the spot, instead they accepted you with open arms and you were relieved. Until the night you brought a lad back into the house, you were pretty sure everyone had left and you were heavily making out on the top of a table, it was Tommy who find you and he had looked between you and the blonde-haired guy with something more akin to confusion than anything, until he seemed to suddenly remember which way you swayed and had left mumbling “You can go back to what you were doing.”

It had completely killed the mood but you couldn’t help but laugh at what just happened and the poor boy that was still not decent looked completely lost and a tad hurt by your laugh.

It wasn’t the first and only time it had happened and even if at first it was funny, but with every time it happened you were the one getting surprised, it seemed they easily forgot your coming out, not that you really minded, but in the sense that it always made them stop for a few awkward moments whenever they found you with a guy which broke the mood each time.

One night, after reading an article about a gay bar getting burned and how people inside either burned alive or were beaten up as they were trying to escape, which made you decide that you could do something for the people of the same “unusual” attraction to help/protect them by creating a space they could go to without any fear. You had talked to you latest conquest about it, telling him to talk to people like you to tell them to come to The Garrison the next day.

You had everything planned, Arthur had left you alone to work the next day considering he had a lot of things to do with Tommy (understand here rackets) you had free reign over The Garrison.

You had everything planned, even in case the police would show up uninvited. You spend the day working so everything would be ready for the night to come. The day had been going too slowly for your taste as you’ve been quite excited about tonight and couldn’t wait for the day to end up so you tried to entertain yourself with the clients that were coming and going.

At 8pm the guy you had brought back home yesterday night walked in with a smile and came straight to the bar where you were cleaning some glasses.

“Hey. I told some of my friends about this place, you sure the scorchers won’t come here?”

“Don’t worry about them they’ll leave us alone. And if any arseholes come around and insults us well let’s say they’ll regret it quickly.”

He nodded and asked for a drink which you served to him with a wink. Both of you stayed here, discussing as slowly the room was filled with people. Each new customer that was here for the “other sexualities” first event got a free drink to start the night.

As the hours passed it seemed that the words got on to a lot of homosexuals persons. You felt proud behind the bar, observing everybody feeling free for the night.

Two lesbians were making out in a corner and dark-haired dude flirted with another one. You could feel how everyone was relaxed and it made you completely proud and a soft smile slipped on your face as you looked around.

////

After a harsh day Arthur had decided to come to the Garrison, he still had a bit of blood on his cheek but he didn’t care, he really needed a drink.

He stepped inside the bar, ignoring all the hustle around him and going straight for the bar, sitting down and taking off his hat. Immediately a whisky ended up in front of him, he looked up and met your eyes, you were harbouring a grin and he couldn’t help but feel the corner of his lips rises against his will.

“Thanks brother.”

“You’re welcome, you seem to have had a long day!”

“Yeah you could say that…”, he replied, gulping his drink in one go before taking a look around, “There’s a lot of people, that’s good.”

You sighed in relief internally, everyone included you had took a deep breath, looking quite worried as he walked in the bar but he ignored all the people around both of you and quickly enough the atmosphere came back to what it was before, everyone relaxing again.

You stayed up until the early hours of the morning, serving people and discussing with them, though you mainly kept company to Arthur until he left and he didn’t seemed to care about the people around who didn’t seemed to fit the usual population he was around.

At around 4am the bar was empty and Arthur had since long been gone home. You made the patrons that were still here leave and then cleaned it before closing everything.

You stretched, breathing the smell of the early morning which always put you in a good mood, tonight even more as the night was a success, you felt extraordinarily happy that it worked the way you wanted, nobody came and questioned you about it, not even the police.

You walked back home, humming “Dance of the Knights” (yeah anachronistic but I’m obsessed with this song atm). You quietly slipped inside the family house, going to your bedroom, taking off your clothes and then slipping in the warmth of your bed, immediately falling asleep.

The next night, in the midst of all the gay people having fun your mother accompanied by Arthur walked in the bar, looking around a bit surprised. They sat to their usual seats, on a couch in a corner and waited for you to come and asks them for their drinks, observing you  easily interacting with everybody with a grin on your face.

“Well kid you seem to know a lot of people.”

“Yeah, I’ve met a few of them and they brought their friends so I met them and everyone is nice.”

“Good, good.”

They asked for their drinks, you quickly made them and served them. Close from their spot you spotted a gay couple heavily making out, you noticed Arthur’s head went in their direction but he seemed to either ignore them or plainly not see them.

You stopped watching them, acting as if they were normal clients and not your family, they didn’t react much so you decided to concentrate on flirting with the pretty redhead dude in front of you, winking at him.

The night went great, your mother and older brother didn’t stay for too long before leaving to do their things as you stayed with Theo, a guy whom your family hired to help you as Arthur now worked more on the street than at The Garrison.

////

Over the next few weeks The Garrison became a prominent safe place for gay people and even though some weird people could be find around it just to take out on “fags” and “dykes” you always took care of showing they shouldn’t mess with the people in here (nor the family owning the bar).

Your family often came around to discuss business and they hadn’t noticed anything, you supposed it was because they worked hard and didn’t have time to really think about it or because you were bringing a lot of clients and money to the bar.

Either way it seemed to be good “deal” for everyone and you clearly weren’t going to complain about it.

________________

A/N: Heya! I hope you enjoyed it, as you can see it seems a bit inachieved, I had no ideas on how to end up this story (and I’m a mess atm so it doesn’t help)

Anyway if you enjoyed the story don’t hesitate to reblog and leave a comment! You can also support my writing by leaving a tip on my Kofi! Love y’all <3

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

Maybe before cats and dogs started their bitter rivalry, there was Snake vs Mongoose. I’m not talking about Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, I mean two of the best known drag racers ever to lay it all on the starting line: Don Prudhomme and Tom McEwen. Back before corporate sponsorship made some racers professionals, drag racers were innovators and possibly daredevils who no doubt, did it for love and a heaping dose of quarter mile glory. Why else would Snake and Mongoose travel the country for “grudge matches” that paid not much more than gas and beer money? It wasn’t until McEwen convinced Mattel (the first non-automotive drag racing sponsor) that “Wildlife Racing” and this “bitter” rivalry (actually between friends) would sell scores of Hot Wheels that drag racing became both lucrative and a common household discussion.

But that’s just part of the story!  Head down to the Peterson Automotive Museum for their NHRA: Sixty Years of Thunder where Don “The Snake” Prudhomme will be joined by Tom “The Mongoose” McEwen, Roland Leong (Hawaiian funny car fame), “TV” Tommy Ivo (Actor and racer of some nasty multi-engined hot rods), Carroll Shelby (needs no intro!) and Ed Pink (engine builder for Snake and just about every winning racer back then). A once in a lifetime experience for $150 on Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2010.

Details of who, what, where below are courtesy of the Petersen Automotive Museum:

(LOS ANGELES, October 1, 2010) Petersen Automotive Museum is celebrating the opening of the exciting new exhibit, NHRA: Sixty Years of Thunder by paying tribute to one of the sport’s most iconic figures – Don “The Snake” Prudhomme – during their annual Tribute Night on Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2010.

Match Race Madness Panel Discussion

The day will begin with the 2 p.m. panel discussion, Match Race Madness, featuring drag racing’s greatest rivalry: Snake vs. Mongoose. Prudhomme will be joined by arch-rival Tom “The Mongoose” McEwen to tell the tales of their days of traveling the United States from race track to race track, their much-publicized grudge matches, the business partnership they formed called, “Wildlife Racing,” and their pioneering work in non-automotive sponsorship with Mattel’s Hot Wheels.

An Evening with Don “The Snake” Prudhomme

At 5:30 p.m., An Evening with Don “The Snake” Prudhomme will begin. A cocktail hour with Prudhomme, McEwen, and honored guests Roland Leong, Tommy Ivo, Carroll Shelby, Ed Pink and many others will be followed by a fabulous dinner buffet. Special guest Dave McClelland, the Voice of the NHRA and longtime friend of Don Prudhomme, will be the Master of Ceremonies. The evening will continue with a short film featuring The Snake’s history and several other drag racing icons will share their stories of the legend. A live auction of amazing racing memorabilia will follow with proceeds going to the Petersen’s educational programs. Guests will also be able to preview the items that will be in the Bonham’s and Butterfield’s Motorcycles and Memorabilia auction on Saturday, Nov. 13.

NHRA: Sixty Years of Thunder

If that’s not enough, guests will also be the first to see Petersen Automotive Museum’s newest exhibit, NHRA: Sixty Years of Thunder. This exciting new exhibit will cover the history of the National Hot Rod Association, from its early creation as a way to get street racing off of the public highways and on to sanctioned drag strips, through six decades of nitro, tire smoke and thunder. Guests will have an experience rich with historic photography, exciting videos, interactive displays and of course, race cars with the combined power output of 50,000 horses! This exhibit opens at the gala and runs through May 29, 2011.

Tickets

Tickets for An Evening With Don “The Snake” Prudhomme are $125 each. Tickets for the Match Race Madness panel discussion are $50 each. A combined ticket for both events is $150, a $25 savings. Special pricing is available for certain levels of Petersen Automotive Museum Membership. For more information call (323) 964-6325, or to buy your tickets on-line, go to www.Peterson.org. Event proceeds support the Petersen Automotive Museum’s educational and cultural mission.

Honoree: Don “The Snake” Prudhomme

In the early days of his drag racing career, Don Prudhomme worked as a crew member for drag racing icon “T.V.” Tommy Ivo. In 1962, Prudhomme achieved his first Top Fuel win at the Smoker’s March Meet in Bakersfield, California. From 1962 through 1964, Don teamed up with Tom Greer and legendary engine builder Keith Black, and built the famous Greer, Black & Prudhomme Top Fueler (on display in NHRA: 60 Years of Thunder) which won nearly every west coast event. Prudhomme went on to drive Roland Leong’s “Hawaiian” Top Fuel dragster, and won his first NHRA race, the 1965 Winternationals in Pomona, California. He then switched to Funny Cars in the 1970s and won four straight NHRA Funny Car World Championships between 1975 and 1978 and had seven NHRA U.S. Nationals wins. He was the first Funny Car driver to go 5 seconds in the quarter mile and the first to top 250 mph.

Don Prudhomme’s quick reaction times earned him the nickname, “The Snake.” He teamed up with his friend and rival, Tom “The Mongoose” McEwen to form the team “Wildlife Racing,” and they were hired by track owners to race each other in grudge matches around the country. But the real money came when they were sponsored by Mattel’s “Hot Wheels,” the first non-automotive sponsor in NHRA history.

The Snake last raced on his “Final Strike Tour” in 1994, but stayed active in other areas of the sport. Until his retirement earlier this year, Don “The Snake” Prudhomme was a car owner running a Top Fuel Dragster Team and two Funny Car teams. Prudhomme has 49 career wins as a driver, and 59 career wins as an owner.

National Hot Rod Association

Nestled in the quiet community of Glendora, Calif., just minutes east of downtown Los Angeles, is the world’s largest and loudest auto racing organization, the National Hot Rod Association (NHRA). Since it was founded by Wally Parks in 1951, NHRA has been dedicated to safety while providing millions of racing fans with The Extreme Motorsport: the fastest and most spectacular form of entertainment on wheels. With 80,000 members and more than 35,000 licensed competitors, NHRA is a thriving leader in the world of motorsports. Parks initially started NHRA as a means of getting hot rodders off the streets and on to legal drag strips. Since those early days, NHRA has evolved into the largest promoter of professional drag racing in the world. Today, with more than 300 dedicated employees, NHRA offers drag racing opportunities for hot rod enthusiasts of all levels, from kids ages 8-17 in the NHRA Jr. Drag Racing League all the way up to the top of the Professional ranks with the organization’s NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing Series.

NHRA is moving just as fast in popularity with auto racing fans. Second to only NASCAR in terms of attendance, fan appeal, and sponsorship commitment, NHRA is moving quickly into mainstream America.

NHRA is all about diversity. With more than 20 categories of competition, including Top Fuel, Funny Car, Pro Stock, and Pro Stock Motorcycle at the Professional level, to a multicultural array of high-octane personalities it calls world champions; NHRA thrives on unique competitors accomplishing unique achievements. For example, in 2008, Hispanic racer Cruz Pedregon won the NHRA Funny Car world championship, and Ashley Force Hood and Melanie Troxel became the first female winners in the Funny Car class.

Participation on and off the track has made the NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing Series one of the most popular forms of racing, reaching thousands of fans, members, and sponsors a quarter-mile at a time.

Petersen Automotive Museum

The Petersen Automotive Museum Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) charity. The Museum is located at 6060 Wilshire Boulevard (at Fairfax) in Los Angeles. Admission prices are $10 for general admission adults, $5 for seniors and students with ID, and $3 for children ages 5 to 12. Museum members and children under five are admitted free. Covered parking is available for $2 per half hour with an $8 maximum for Museum visitors. Museum hours are Tuesday through Sunday from 10am to 6pm. For general Museum information, call 323/930-CARS or visit the Museum’s Web site at: www.Peterson.org.

[the-firebird69]

Hurricane Warnings For Florida Ahead of Idalia | Weather.com

Here's a point these people keep putting him in danger and they're putting others in danger and saying it's code and it is. But really they do it to him a lot it's done a lot he is stressed and angered all the time there's no place to vent and nobody ever uses off they're always an a****** I don't see why we should be kind to any of these people in any way or lenient or even not even come in and just butcher them we have to test it and we keep on laying off but it's ridiculous we need to f*** them up they need to be messed up big time. Now there are some things going on here they're very evil and I want it stopped the storm needs to be stopped now I'm not really joking okay it's not really a plan to have him hit with all the stupid crap poverty and jokes and storms and injuries and sickness it's ridiculous he can't get any lower than what he is now he wouldn't be there. These people need to pay for it they're holding them hostage and Mac is included because he's lost his regular kids and the max are having it done and they're morons it doesn't do anything for you when you're dead you'll figure it out.

I'm appointing a team to stop that stupid storm and get both ships out of here.

His kids want to be on it right now and his cadre they put an effort in and the others are signing on Moana Ariana Rafael and goddess wife Uriel and goddess wife and more

I'm putting it out there too anybody on my streets our son is going to pay for it through the nose

We're starting to fire people too Mac is firing a lot of people. See how notices to people for them to stop doing their s*** so Jonathan gone if they do not they're gone today we know that 20 went out to behind the line and that 20 did not return and a 10 of them are dead completely so down to 70 households in the neighborhood it was original and the ones that get refilled in are by the same clan and they're fighting and it's never the same people honest to goodness it just sets off a huge chain of reactions. I'm informed that yes 70 is the number. Our son says he is a decent idea.

:: the two ships here one of them is trying to ride that storm up here and keep it going the other is Tommy fitting on the town you can't have both and Tommy F wants to kidnap our son, his number two has been yelling at him is with the storm so you figure it out they both want to kidnap him..

:: the other point is that they want to nudge that thing out of here and stop the storm and pull off a contingent of black ship or stone ship or both there's a bunch of fleets up there and the forests haven't really gotten much out of it it's a technique and we tried it and it works and he says let's try it again cuz we need chips to mess them all up with especially these we should look at them what they are huge magnets that we can re-cloak. I sort of like what he's saying we have uses for that and we do salvage huge magnets for doing work on Earth we can make better lasers and blasters and humongous ones by the way and we can put Giants in them and Kaiju. And loot and false flag it it's really nice there's a ton of uses and sit down on Jupiter or Saturn and we need to as a priority and I started wondering why and I do get it. We're moving out on it and right now

There's some other things we can do to stop the storm and he said they didn't work before I do understand that but they are important

:: what you hire upstairs you want you higher ups dead and we're talking about Max, morlock macs, minority more luck, foreigners all your leaders they want dead this is how they could do it and it's what they did last time although they're trying to kidnap our son they're trying to kidnap a lot of you and hit lots of you too and a few of you died in the last storm then a lot of you died after a whole bunch he's looking for the same effect

Thor Freya

Zues Hera we are too it's only me here but I need the defence from this thing

Olympus

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

                                                 *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading! 

                                              previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter 

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint). 

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was fucked. 

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked. 

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created. 

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N. 

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach. 

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true. 

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late” 

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior. 

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck” 

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that” 

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?” 

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit. 

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town” 

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity” 

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?” 

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one” 

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby” 

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling��� he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’. 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid” 

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you” 

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her. 

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp. 

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked 

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering. 

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch. 

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

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