#tombstone characters

[curlysgirl0202]

Short Story:

Whispers of Curly Bill's Devotion

🩵Curly Bill has a crush on the reader and believes she is out of his reach and sees him as nothing more than an old rustler who does nothing more simply amuse her.

🩵But....When the reader enters a saloon and sees two prostitutes sitting on Curly's lap, the old cowboy comes to realize how much she really cares.🩵

The afternoon sun settles on the Palo Verde trees that frame the town of Tombstone. A gentle spring breeze makes its way through the area, spreading the warm aroma of a new season.

The people of Tombstone move about tending to their business. Some went to the hotel for breakfast while others dined at the restaurant. Women carried baskets of eggs to sell to the mercantile and other folks went into town to sell other items such as freshly caught fish, homemade tortillas, flowers and handmade items such as vases and baskets.

Curly Bill sees you across the street and sees you talking with friends and looking beautiful.

He wants to approach you, but feels a little awkward as he understands you're a woman of substance and you show the old cowboy kindness because that's part of your personality. You display kindness to all the Cowboys, asking how they're doing and your concern is always welcome and very appreciated. You simply don't care what others think. Curly amuses you and he's grateful that he can at least do that.

Before Curly can get close to you, you retreat with some ladies and he with a painful heart watches you disappear with your companions.

The following day when you're enjoying the amenities of the town, you bump into none other than Curly Bill. Although the old cowboy would love a chance to court you, he understands you're more than likely out of his reach. And like forbidden fruit, he needs to have you now that he feels he can't have you.

Curly feels a sense of defeat, but also one of realization; he's never going to be good enough to court you and you probably find him funny and familar and enjoy his practical jokes and big personality. But Curly Bill knows it cannot be anything more than that. He knows he amuses you and has decided he can be acquainted with you, but he's clearly not going to win your heart.

Curly thinks about you and how out of his reach you are and curses under his breath. He was making a fool out of himself over you and hasn't secured your courtship. He comes to the conclusion that he is nothing more to you than just a jovial cowboy who can make you laugh every once in a while.

However, he's about to be proven wrong...

Curly is enjoying his ill-gotten gains on a few whores who laugh at everything the old rustler says and they also pretend to understand what he's saying and take turns marveling over his stories. Curly hates their insincere banter and wishes their words were sincere. Curly takes it in stride and resolves that at least there's a lady listening. Curly experiences intolerable loneliness like everyone else in the Wild West and will pay handsomely for some lady comfort. An insincere woman is better than none at all. He understands what they're doing; they just want Curly to throw money their way and they'll do and say anything to get it. It's while they're sitting near him that everything changes.

You walk into the room just as one of the whores gets up off Curly's lap. You enter with a smile on your face that suddenly dies when you see a whore on Curly's lap. She's cupping his face and grabbing the dough he throws on the table. She stuffs the money in her bra and continues giving the old rustler insincere compliments.

You enter the saloon and you don't see Curly immediately. Another girl lays on his lap while he throws a few bills on the table. As soon as the girls see the money, they begin laughing at every joke Curly makes.

"Well, YN!" Tom McClaury announces. "Just in time! You can sit on Curly's lap!'

You look over at Curly Bill, who has a ramera practically wrapped around him. Curly Bill taps his free leg and motions for you to come sit. "I got one free leg!" Curly Bill shouts in his drunkenness, his ability to control himself is diminished and with the room spinning from the rot gut he's been drinking, his head spins with drunken confusion.

You look over at Curly, who seems suddenly taken aback by your coldness towards him. Your large eyes grow wide with a sadness Curly has never seen on your face. You close your eyes and tears fall while you turn away so he can't see your reaction. But before you turn, Curly sees those tears and it rips his heart. He suddenly feels disgusted with himself and with the saloon girls, insincerely vying for his attention...And money.

"Awww, come on now! It don't mean nothin'!" Frank Stillwell declares. "Don't go gettin' your dander up!"

You slowly shake your head while staring at the floor. You care for Curly Bill and desire more than just a casual acquaintance. And all this time, he assumed your kindness stemmed from your upbringing and that you do not hold a space for contempt for anyone. You seem to treat others in the way they treat you. And everyone in town seems smitten with your sweet smile and friendly disposition.

"No thank you," you answer, pain in your voice. At this moment, Curly realizes your feelings for him.

"Aww! Come on, sweet pea !" McClaury shouts. "Curly's got enough room in his lap for you!"

You turn and see Curly, the smile gone from his face with the realization that you do care for him and do not see him in the same way these whores do. His heart sinks and although intoxicated, he's sober enough to know he's really hurt you. He didn't entertain ideas about you being interested in him enough to let him court you. Curly felt nothing would ever blossom between the two of you because you come from a family of substance and his background is chaotic and wild.

Now he sits, drunk and confused, his arms at his sides, no longer interested in holding the prostitute counting the money he threw at her.

"Come on, Curly!" The girl says, trying to pull his face away from you. "She can't give you what I can!" Curly looks at her with disgust and she quickly gets up. Curly Bill would never cause harm to any woman whether a whore or a woman of substance, but feels tempted to curse her.

Curly stands and his head moves in an imbalanced rhythm caused by the whiskey and the look on your face and the tears that he cannot believe he caused. He staggers to his feet and moves closer to you and tries to put his arm around you in an attempt to let you know he understands. He goes to kiss you and his confidence is shattered when the whiskey on his breath infiltrates your nostrils along with the stink of horses. You turn away and he can feel his face grow red.

"Stop it, Curly. You're drunk!" You shout, your voice cracking. You move past the big rustler who looks around at his gang who stares, not knowing what to say. The whore sees the madness in Curly's eyes and quickly leaves.

"What are y'all lookin' at?!" Curly growls loudly. He heads to the bar and takes a swing of whiskey directly from the bottle. He turns to face his cowboys who look at each other not sure what to make of Curly's sudden rage over you.

"I don't need her! I don't need nothing or nobody!" Curly slurs. "Hell! She was just messin' with my head anyhow. I don't need her! A fellow needs a woman who can take a little funnin' and havin' no sense of humor! She don't mean nothin' to me anyhow!" Curly pours booze into a shot glass, downs it and pours another, feeling disgusted by his own embarrassment and shame. But he continues spewing out his anger.

"Hell! I don't want no woman who can't handle some funnin'! I don't care about her neither and I never really cared. I don't need anything!" Curly staggers drunkenly to the table where Barnes and Stillwell are sitting. The two cowboys glance at one another and Stillwell gives Ringo an inquisitive look. Ringo shrugs.

Ringo, who witnessed the entire event was the only cowboy willing to say anything.

"She's not a whore, Bill. You didn't know that?" Ringo shakes his head while looking at the floor, his arms folded across his chest, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. "She's a lovely lady who happens to care about you."

Curly stares indignantly at Ringo and takes another sip of whiskey. He removes his hat and takes a bow before Johnny.

"Well, ain't that mighty fine, Juanito. I don't need her and I don't need nobody! She don't care about me anyhow! You think you're better than me, don't you? You always thought you was better than all us boys, readin' damn books and showing off quotin' everything from Willy to the damn Bible. Sides, you don't know nothin'! Nobody spoils the fun for old Curly Bill Brocious! Specially some self righteous lady who don't mean nothin' to me! Hell, I don't even care I ever see her again!" Curly Bill can't think clearly and his head begins to pound from too much drinking. He growls and keeps sucking back shots.

Ringo glares at Curly, not believing how angry the old cowboy is. Ringo knows Curly is crazy about you and deeply hurt and confused. Curly Bill had no idea you liked him; he just assumed you treated him with kindness because it seemed your natural tendency. Curly Bill feels like a fool.

An old fool.

"I think she's right. You're drunk." Ringo responds.

"Well, I don't care. I've seen you throw back more whiskey than anyone. So you wanna go and ruin all my fun too? Maybe you two should go on together!"

"Curly Bill." Ringo clears his throat.

"A lady like her is special and maybe so much so she's once in a lifetime."

Curly continues drinking. He shoots a glance at Johnny. "That more Willy Shakespeare?"

Ringo stands, a frustrated look in his eyes.

"You're a damn fool, Curly."

"I'd be a damn fool iffin' I let some woman spoil my good time. I don't care what she thinks! She ain't nothin'! She don't mean a thing to me! Isn't that right boys?" Curly barks. "A real man ain't gonna let some woman tell him what to do!"

"All women ever brought me was misery anyhow!"

Some of his drunken cowboys cheer and whistle while others observe their boss, losing his mind over a woman and declaring his freedom from her.

"I've had enough," Ringo says, looking directly at Curly.

"Well, then you can go find YN and tell her old Curly don't need her!"

Ringo leaves through the batwings. Curly staggers drunkenly to the exit, wanting to finish his conversation with Ringo, who is walking across the street with his signature gait. Curly hears the sounds of sobbing and turns his head. He sees you, leaning on a tall lamp post, your face buried in her arms, tears streaming down your face.

Curly stumbles backwards, almost losing his balance and falling. He can't believe the site before him and he regrets everything he said about not needing you. He needs you like he needs air to breathe, but he's too much of a horse's ass to admit it. The sounds of your sobbing cause him to grow fearful and then angry. He would delight in comforting you, but cannot because his actions caused you to fall into this state of sadness. Curly feels his heart sink with fear and that fear grows into rage. He suddenly fears you may have heard everything he said.

Who needs women! All they do is cause a man a damn affliction!

He watches you for a few moments and then heads back to the saloon that's becoming increasingly crowded. The sound of your crying floods his ears and drowns out the noise of the bar. He can't shake the sight of you standing there, clearly heartbroken and confused. He wonders for a moment why you never made your interests known.

Because women play games! He screams in his mind.

The Hawkins boys walk in, four men in their thirties. Slim, the oldest was sporting one pistol with a tied down holster. He was the most attractive of the four, standing just over six feet with steel blue eyes and a neatly trimmed mustache. He seems almost regal, although a seasoned outlaw. His brother, Bob was shorter with a stout and strong body. He carried two pistols and was known for never using a shot gun that wasn't sawed off. Then Martin, the tallest and biggest, known for his ability to break broncs, looks around with dark eyes and his face is adorned with a full beard. A cigarette hangs from his mouth. The fourth brother, Angus, who hardly ever spoke stood just under six feet and had a wide face with a beard that always looked untrimmed, follows his brothers to the bar.

"Howdy, boys!" Curly announces. "First round is on old Curly!"

The Hawkins boys shout while the bar dog keeps the whiskey and beer flowing in the place which is starting to fill up with thirsty patrons.

"Hey, boys! We don't need women who take our funnin' away, do we?" Curly laughs through his broken heart.

"Hell no! We do just fine with them sportin' ladies!" Martin Hawkins agrees.

After a time of drinking up the place and playing poker with the Hawkins boys, Curly returns to the camp to sleep. He curses under his breath due to his head pounding and the cold, hard ground he's forced to sleep on. He envisions your soft, voluptuous body wrapped around him and a feeling of warmth and safety. He quickly dismisses it, falling into a drunken sleep. In his dreams, he can see you crying, your face buried in your arms. He can hear you whisper, "Curly Bill...hold me. Just hold me."

He wipes your tears and then awakens to the sound of the Clanton's shouting and shooting at empty whiskey bottles.

Curly cannot recall a time when he felt worse. He stumbles to his feet and notices he forgot to take his boots off before going to sleep. After getting coffee and chuck, he sits and removes his boots, rubbing his toes which ache from being cramped in his boots for so long. The stink of horse shit, tobacco smoke and horrific body odor permeates Curly's nose and he feels like vomiting, but is able to keep it down. He finishes his breakfast and looks around for Ringo, knowing the younger cowboy was right; Curly was drunk and made a fool out of himself.

Ringo knows Curly made a huge mistake and he also understands that the old cowboy really didn't know about your feelings for him. You kept it to yourself that confused Curly. Ringo gets that his friend was probably shocked when he realized your desires for him. Curly told Ringo at one point, "she's mighty fine and pretty. Any fellow would be damn lucky to have her. But she's a lovely lady I don't think she wants to be around cowboys who stink all the time. Hell, sometimes I can't stand the smell of them boys! She deserves better than me anyhow. I know she don't like me the way I like her."

Curly meant nothing he said last night and begins to regret not simply going after you. Perhaps he could have gotten you to change your mind about him. If he just left, he may have been able to be the one to comfort you. But he stayed and ran his big mouth, which is something the rustler is known to do. He told everyone listening that he didn't care about you when nothing could be further from the truth. He feels like a fool for not defending his feelings and admitting how his heart wants you, but he was too drunk and proud. And now how would he be able to court you after declaring he didn't need or even want you?

Curly Bill mounts his horse and heads into town for more partying and poker. The stable kid takes Curly's horse and leads it to the livery while Curly walks through town, hoping it would cheer him up. He felt like a dog without a pack and the soft drizzle didn't make him feel any better.

And then he sees you... You're exiting the mercantile, holding a basket covered in a towel. You stop walking and run your hand through your unbound hair, appearing more lovely and beautiful than ever. You look over and see Curly Bill. He starts removing his hat, but you turn and continue walking in the opposite direction. Now that he feels he can no longer have you, being with you is all he cares about. He decides to go to the restaurant for a slice of cake and a cup of coffee. Something, anything to get his spirits up. While he eats his cake and sips his coffee, one of the dishwashers, Four Fingered Jake, comes over to collect some dishes left on the tables from previous patrons and looks at Curly.

"Feeling alright, Jack?" Four Fingered Jake, who lost a pinky during a handkerchief duel a few years ago, called every cowboy Jack as in "jackeroo," and sometimes it just annoyed old Curly.

"Fine. Everything is just fine," Curly lies, focusing on his cake. He looks out the window and hopes to see you again; not to talk, but just to see you. He can't shake the sight of you crying or the sound of your sobs. He takes his last bite and downs his coffee.

"Well! You surely look afflicted by something," Jake stands by Curly's table, his arms full of dirty dishes.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" Curly groans.

"Sure thing, mood you're in right now."

"Hold on a minute," Curly begins. "Hey, you ever been in love, Jake?" Curly asks, not looking up from his coffee.

"Hell! How you think I lost my pinky? Defending a lovely lady! Oh boy was she sweet! Worth it. I done lost that duel, but she was such a good woman, she stayed by me anyways. Even wanted to give up everything just to build a life with me. Imagine that!"

"What happened?" Curly growls.

"The Pox got a hold of her." Jake stands, shaking his head. "Why you asking, jack?"

Curly looks up at Jake and then back at his coffee cup. "Nothin', no matter."

Curly leaves some money on the table and leaves the restaurant. The drizzle began to subside and the sun began peeking out from behind the jagged looking clouds that lazily move across the Tombstone sky.

While walking through town, he feels he has lost everything. Although he still has his rustling enterprise and his cowboy companions, he can't shake the fact that all along, you desired him. If you wanted him before, doesn't that mean you still care? His heart begins to burn with a small ember of hope. All he wants to do is make you happy.

You return to your small one bedroom cottage that resides about a ten minute walk from town. The drizzle causes moisture in your hair and you grab a small towel and wipe your damp head with it. You toss the towel aside and begin putting your items away. Curly's face enters your mind and a sharp pulling comes from inside you, almost knocking you over. You recall the content look on his face when the whore sat happily on his lap. The way he expected you to sit on his lap like you were some calico queen. You care for him so much, but always felt he showed you sweetness because of his chivalrous cowboy code. You feel Curly isn't the settling down type so you simply resigned to just enjoying his company whenever you could. So often, you wanted to share with the old cowboy how much you care for him, but you feared he would discourage your feelings; telling you not to waste your time with such a nomadic fellow. You couldn't bear to hear his rejection so you followed his lead. You just never expected to see him indulging in the company of prostitutes and it solidified the fact that he doesn't want you because he probably feels your life couldn't provide the excitement he seemed to want. You felt as though you couldn't provide for him the daring and adventurous lifestyle that seemed to embrace Curly's life and you often felt you may prove to be dull and boring for the old rustler.

You know how you feel, but the mystery of Curly's feelings about you spin around in your mind. You believe in his drunkenness that he tried to overtake you and have his way with you only to toss you aside. You didn't realize he was trying to console you. Tears fall from your eyes again and you fall to the ground, holding your knees against your chest.

He never cared about me.

I should have known!

There's no way I could ever make him happy anyway!

It was right of me to assume someone like Curly Bill could ever care about anyone but himself!

You would like to fall into his arms, but you feel he would turn you away.

He needs a woman who can satisfy him and I can't! I'm boring and have nothing to offer such an adventurous and natural man.

You continue sobbing, your face buried in your knees. If you could be bold and daring, maybe Curly would want you. But you cannot become someone you're not...

You begin to feel you lost any chance with Curly Bill. You recall how he slapped his thigh and expected you to sit like a lady of the line and you never felt more exploited in your life. You wanted Curly Bill to treat you like a treasure and instead, he treated you like a nanny, just wanting you for the moment. He would use you and then toss you away and the only difference between you and the chippies is that you didn't charge the old cowboy.

You wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your attention goes towards the front door as if you're waiting for it to open. You blow your nose and run your hands through your hair.

The door slowly opens and you move slowly, a rolling pin in your hand, waiting to bash the unsuspecting thug.

When the door is fully opened and there's no one there, you blow the breath out of your lungs and lean against the wall, your head looking up. You replace the rolling pin and decide to make yourself some tea.

While sipping your tea, you wonder what Curly Bill is doing at the same moment. You smile to yourself. Then the memory of his face when he slapped his thigh and motioned for you to sit.

Like I'm a dog!

You shake your head and decide to do some gardening after you finish your tea. The last thing you want to do is venture into town. Your fear of running into Curly Bill scares you.

He just wants one thing and once I give it to him, I'm nothing but a whore to him! I will never let him lay a hand on me!

You cry these thoughts in your mind.

You begin by pulling the weeds out of your fruit and vegetable garden; you've planted carrots, peppers, potatoes, eggplant and tomatoes. You also planted basil, green beans and peas. While harvesting your small crop, you decide to make a soup. You'll be able to stretch it into at least five days worth of meals. You also think about making some dumplings or biscuits and then make the choice to invite a friend or two over to enjoy your freshly made soup. You delight in growing your own food and you really love creating delectable dishes you can share with others. You smile to yourself and feel good that you're not consumed with thoughts about Curly Bill. Maybe you'll be over him soon.

After washing and chopping your freshly picked delights, you feel it would taste better if you made it with already prepared vegetable stock. You clean yourself up, put some color on your lips, brush your hair and get your shopping basket. You slowly walk into town, touching some of the flowers and taking in the fresh air. You witness dandelion fuzz and small butterflies flitter through the air in a peaceful and whimsical nature dance. You smile and enjoy the moment, taking deep breaths of fresh air.

When the sounds of town begin to rise into your ears, you welcome the social scene performing before you.

The mercantile owner, Mr. Wilks, tips his hat while taking a break from sweeping the front porch.

"Good afternoon to you, YN," He says and then continues sweeping while you enter the store.

Mrs. Wilks wipes her small hands on her apron and climbs down from the step stool she was standing on while cleaning some shelves.

"Well, hello, YN! How nice to see you." The little woman scurries towards you with her small, mouse-like shaped body. "What can I get for you?"

"Oh, just some stock if you have any." You answer.

"Oh, of course!" The older lady responds. "Stock and broth. You're just in time too! The Simms just dropped off stock and bone broth. In fact, it's still hot!" The little old lady hugs you. "Oh, darling! I sure hope you're alright!"

You shrug. "Yeah, well I'm doing alright, I guess."

"I've seen you talkin' with that there Curly Bill Brocious and I'm here to tell you he ain't nothin' but trouble. Don't go wasting your time on some worthless cowboy!" The shopkeeper puts your items in your basket and you look at the floor, your heart broken and your head spinning. Nobody ever seemed to miss an opportunity to inform you of how you are wasting your time with Curly Bill. You really like the old cowboy; you love his smile, his deep voice, his willingness to protect you and how his hair curled around his forehead and oh!

You catch your breath and give the lady what you owe for your items.

"Don't forget what I said, love."

You look out the window and see Curly Bill on the other side of the street talking with a few cowboys. You stare out the window and wonder what the conversation consists of. Curly frowns while talking with Johnny Ringo and Pete Stillwell. You can see Curly take his hat off and continue gloating over something. Your trance becomes interrupted, "Don't forget, I said, dear."

You suddenly snap back into what you were doing. You clear your throat and pick up your basket. You nod at the shop keeper. "Of course," you whisper. "Oh, um...where do you keep the apples and pears? I just forgot I needed some." You hold your basket while keeping your head down.

"Oh, yes. Just down that hall and down the steps." The old lady motions towards the way.

Just as you're walking down the steps, Curly enters through the cellar door located on the other side of the house. He was hoping to swipe some fruit. When he sees you close the door behind you, he sneaks around and after You've gathered your fruit, you turn and see him standing before you. You gasp, completely surprised.

"YN," he swoons.

You try to move past him and open the door, but Curly blocks your way with his arm. The fear in your eyes causes Curly to grow weary with guilt, but he's not letting you leave until you allow him to at least apologize.

"Curly Bill," you whisper. "Please let me go. Please."

Curly continues blocking the door for another moment and then steps aside, allowing you to decide whether or not you're willing to talk to him. Your eyes look up at the cowboy and then you turn away. Curly wants to hold you, but when he moves towards you, you pull away.

"Please, YN," Curly begins. "Please give me a chance to tell you I'm sorry."

You nod your head, still convinced the old rustler just wants one thing and only wants to save face for his cowboys.

"Ok," you whisper. You quickly move past him and he watches you quickly leave.

The Hawkins boys see you coming and whistle as you pass and it infuriates Curly who is in no mood to fight.

Later that day, while you're cooking your soup, the door opens again. You go to close it and Martin Hawkins kicks it open. He enters your house with the other Hawkins. "Well, so here's where you live!"

"Who are you?" You ask, your voice shaking.

"I'm Martin Hawkins and these here are my brothers." The other boys tip their hats to you. Angus takes a fresh apple and bites into it and then winks at you.

"What do you want?" You implore.

The boys look at each other and then you. Martin and Bob move closer to you. Bob quickly holds your wrists and Martin takes a small piece of rope and binds your hands together.

"Please!" You beg. "Please! What do you want!?"

"You."

Your mouth falls open and you struggle to get away, but the men are big and burly and you're easily overpowered. They bring you outside and Martin pulls you up on his horse and they ride out.

The Hawkins boys bring you to their shack.

"So, old Curly thinks he can cheat us, huh?" Slim asks when the boys throw you onto the floor, your wrists still tied.

"Who are you?" You beg.

"I believe we already introduced ourselves. Curly owes us and what better way to get him to pay up than to take what matters?" Slim lights up a cigarette. He motions for Angus to retrieve something and the younger brother brings out a camera.

"You got it wrong. Curly doesn't care about me! I know that so you're wasting your time if you think he'll care!"

All four Hawkins boys laugh.

"That's not what he said when he was so drunk, he could hardly find the door. And he was still sober enough to cheat." Martin Hawkins scoffs.

You lower your head. *It can't be. He thinks I'm nothing but a..." You begin to sob uncontrollably.

Slim recalls Curly from the night before:

"You know something, boys? Even old Willy Shakespeare couldn't write about her with the right words cuz there ain't no one like YN!" He slaps his cards on the table and calls for three cards. "If you ever wanna see an angel, just look at her, boys! And I've gone done it like a damn fool!"

Curly doesn't care who's listening, he's usually running his mouth. The Hawkins boys share glances while playing.

"I lost her and now....well I may never get her back! Aw hell! I don't deserve her anyhow! I just kept makin' a damn fool of myself, thinkin' she didn't care none and then I saw her so sad and well, shit!" He takes a shot of whiskey.

The Hawkins boys didn't say much. They were amused watching the big gunfighter squirm from his broken heart. They continued letting Curly talk.

"You boys wouldn't understand anyhow cuz you never met an angel like that! And you never will neither!"

"Sounds like you're in love, Curly!" Bob Hawkins scoffs, a cigarette hanging from his wide mouth.

"Yeah, well I guess I am, boys! You're sayin' I shouldn't? You ever see her, you'll be in love too!"

***You swallow hard and cannot believe what you're hearing. All this time you and Curly both misunderstood

"Tie her up to the post,"Martin says, focusing on his cigarette. "We'll get a nice little picture for our friend, Curly Bill Brocious."

Too scared to speak and too outnumbered to escape, you are quickly overpowered by the boys who tie your arms up onto the post and then wrap rope around your legs to keep you still. Tears flow from your eyes.

"Awww, don't cry none. It's Curly Bill we really want," Martin says, touching your face. You try to turn away and they all chuckle.

"Now, see Bob there is gonna take your picture so we can show Curly."

"Please don't hurt Curly," you cry.

"You ain't concerned for yourself?" Slim asks, taking his last drag of his cigarette. "Make sure it's tight. I don't want her getting away."

"Oh, it's tight. She ain't going nowhere," Martin answers while Bob gets the camera ready.

"Smile, princess. This is for Curly Bill. Now, look at the camera," Slim barks.

You look into the lens and the flash causes you to flinch.

When the picture is ready, Slim rides out to town, the picture in a large, sealed envelope.

"Hey, deputy!" Slim calls for Billy Breckenridge.

"Howdy, Slim," Billy says.

"You know where Curly Bill is?"

"I think he's back at camp. He said something about having to brand some cows "

"Take this to him and don't open it. It's for him, you hear?"

Breckenridge takes the envelope and rides out to the cowboy camp. Curly is drowning his sorrows with rot gut while the Clanton's are branding a small calf.

"Curly! Something for you! From the Hawkins!" Breckenridge brings the envelope to Curly who opens it.

And falls to his knees. He bites his hand to maintain his control. He stares intensely into the photograph and the image of you tied up like that will be etched in his mind forever. Curly resolves to save you. He doesn't care if he never sees you again; he'll do anything. His rage grows into mind numbing fury, but he knows he needs to plan very carefully.

Ringo comes over and Curly Bill hands him the photograph. Ringo's eyes grow narrow and his lips begin trembling. He balls his hand into a tight fist. He returns the picture, not wanting to look at it.

Ringo begins thinking up a plan to rescue you. He knows the shack that the Hawkins have been staying at and it sits behind a grove of large trees. As a seasoned guerilla raider, Ringo starts thinking who will go along and how they will position themselves.

"We're with you, Curly," Ringo whispers. "We gotta wait. They're planning on us busting the door down. Indian Charlie and Pete Spence and Stillwell are gonna go out first and hide in the brush."

Curly Bill, too angry to speak, simply nods his head, knowing Ringo is the best one to plan this.

"I can't stand the thought of those damn thugs alone with her and her tied up like that. Shit, Johnny!"

"Curly, I don't think that's what they're after. Not long. Not too long. Me and the Youngers did guerilla raids over a dozen times. We gotta make sure everyone of us has at least three pistols. We can easily fire off sixty or seventy shots in less than a minute."

Keep going," Curly growls.

"We wait for one of those sons of bitches to come out. They can't hold onto their shit forever. They may even go two at a time."

"When do we ride?" Curly asks.

"Let the others go first. We'll follow, two boys at a time. Real slow, Curly. They're waiting for us right now, expecting an ambush and they're prepared for that. But I know the Hawkins and they're not guerillas."

Curly nodded. He watches Spence, Stillwell and Indian Charlie ride out. They secure their horses about 50 feet from the shack and crawl on their bellies to the trees and hide carefully. They have three pistols each and Stillwell has a sawed off shotgun.

Curly Bill and Ringo ride out together. They, like their fellow gang members scout the area carefully. They catch up with Indian Charlie and the others. While riding out, Curly tells Ringo:

"You're right, Johnny. I'm a damn fool! I had no idea YN felt that way about me. Hell! A man like me havin' a beauty like that goin' on and havin' them kind of feelings. She's so damn special and cute and hell, Johnny, what would you think?"

Ringo pulls the reigns in for a moment. He looks at Curly Bill, who is waiting for an answer.

"Curly Bill, you're right. I would have reservations about her too. Not that I wouldn't want her, but to make a damn fool of myself and then find out she was just being pleasant, well, I would feel awful." Ringo shakes his head, imagining what that would be like.

"It's a damn curse, Ringo. You find the woman of your dreams and know damn well she's out of reach cuz she don't care too much. Then you find out she cares a whole lot." Curly fights the tears forming in his eyes as he recalls that damn photograph of you. "That's what makes this whole thing so damn miserable. I swear right now I'll do anything to make her happy iffin' she gives me a chance and iffin' she don't, at least I saved her."

"Either way, you'll be a hero, Bill," Johnny claims, not looking at Curly.

"Yeah. But I won't care iffin' I can't be with YN."

Ringo and Curly secured their horses and crawled towards the trees where the others were waiting.

""None of em have come out to shit yet," Stillwell remarks. "What the hell are them boys waiting for?"

"They can't hold on to it forever." Ringo says, no expression in his voice.

"Are we ready?" Curly growls.

"We're ready, but damn that shithouse is ripe!" Spence adds.

Ringo recites sonnets in his mind while the others hold their pistols. They are the door open and like Ringo predicted, two of the Hawkins boys came out.

"Damn, he ain't heeled," Stillwell declares.

"Real slow, boys," Curly whispers.

Once the Hawkins boys are in the shit house, Ringo and Curly go close, almost holding their noses because of the stink.

Curly opens one of the doors and Bob Hawkins looks up in shock. "No! No! No!" He shouts before Curly fills him full of lead. Ringo does the same to Angus, who also pleads for his life.

"You never should've messed with her," Ringo remarks before killing Angus. Slim and Martin come running out, their pistols blazing in all directions. Ringo moves like a ghost, remembering everything Quantrill taught him about guerilla raids. The Hawkins were outnumbered by men and bullets as Curly and his boys were all sporting three pistols each. In a matter of seconds, the Cowboys fired off over 50 shots and all the Hawkins were meeting their makers. The Cowboys laugh and some twirl their guns before entering the house.

Curly Bill sees you, your chest heaving furiously and fear shows in your teary eyes. You gasp and struggle to get free as you're still tied to the post.

Curly replaces his guns and scans the area for anyone else. "We're clear, boys! Ain't no one else here!"

Too shocked to speak, your face gazes at Curly Bill and you can't believe he just risked his life to save you. He walks towards you and your chest continues breathing heavily and tears begin running down your face. Curly wipes your tears and takes his Bowie knife from his belt. He goes to cut the ropes and then pauses, just soaking up not only your beauty, but the fact that he at least redeemed himself and became your hero. He cups your face and kisses you and to his surprise, you do not resist. He smiles at you and the fear in your eyes begins subsiding.

"YN... Will you please forgive me for hurting you? You're all I think about and I'm a damn fool for lettin' you leave like that."

You nod your head. "Please let me go," you beg. "I... thank you for saving me! I didn't think you cared at all," you answer, your face gazing at the floor.

"YN... Curly Bill takes his hat off. "I love you," he whispers, sucking back tears. "I never meant to hurt you."

You look up your cowboy. You continue struggling.

"I'm gonna cut you loose after one question..." Curly's voice is just above a whisper. He smiles sheepishly.

"Please..." You answer.

Curly Bill doesn't take his eyes off of you.

"Will you marry me?" Curly asks.

Your eyes well up with tears. You nod your head.

"Yes!" You say in a soft voice.

Curly kisses you one more time. He takes his knife and cuts you loose. When he does, you fall into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Curly feels such a sense of relief and gratitude, he picks you up and holds you tight.

"I love you, Curly Bill. I always have."

He kisses your hands and rubs your wrists which appear raw from your tie ropes. He hates seeing that...

Curly Bill takes your face again and kisses you ever so gently.

"I never thought you'd kiss me like that," you whisper, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tight, your head on his strong shoulder. You close your eyes while the two of you enjoy a delightful and wonderous moment of pure love. The other Cowboys leave, giving the two of you some time alone.

When you conclude your kiss, he picks you up, his eyes locked with yours.

He carries you out and all the way to his horse, all while you keep your head in his chest. He can feel you trembling and he tightens his embrace, wanting you to feel safe and protected. Once he mounts his gelding, he pulls you up and he rides out at full gallop, his cowboys following and hooting with celebration.

Curly Bill brings you home and helps you get dressed into a warm nightgown. He tucks you into bed and caresses your face until you fall asleep.

After a few moments of watching you slumber, he removes his boots and falls into the bed.

He delights when in your sleep, you turn and rest your head on his chest.

The End...

[sgt-tombstone]

I should be sleeping but my brain won’t shut up about left-handed Ghost

he got it from his mother, and it was part of the reason why his father hated him so much; he thought Simon had the devil in him

he tried to beat it out of him, tied his hand behind his back, forced him to use his right hand for everything, and eventually Simon trained himself to be ambidextrous, if only to escape the punishments

when he joined the military, it worked in his favor. he was able to use both hands equally well which helped him shoot and spar better, and he never told anyone that he was naturally left-handed

when he met Soap, his handedness never even crossed his mind. at least, it didn’t until he overheard Johnny talking about an old Scottish superstition, something about bad luck meeting a left-handed person at the start of a journey

a load of bullshit, Johnny said, but Simon shrank back anyway. if Soap noticed him getting more distant, he never mentioned it, never made the connection, never found out that Ghost was left-handed

and when Soap died, a single bullet to the head, Simon couldn’t help but wonder if that old Scottish superstition held any water after all

after all, Johnny’s bad luck started the day he met Simon, and he never even knew it

[almondcroissantsandink]

i was supposed to work on a zine illustration but my hand slipped and I drew Doc Holliday from Tombstone ;(

[yandere-wishes]

Okay hear me out!! But I'm thinking of Yandere!Boothill with a housewife!Darling. He dresses you in the cutest dresses just to chase you around. Making you think if you can just get far enough you'll be able to escape this sadistic man. You run as fast as you can, kicking off the impractical shoes he makes you wear. Trying all so desperately to escape. But it's futile, his lasso wraps around your ceasing you motion and pulling you back to his strong crushing arms.

"You'll never escape me, bitchy~"

Fun Fact: Boothill is the name of a haunted cemetery in Tombstone Arizona. Does anyone else get the reference??

[entropyfox]

“VENGEANCE IS HEREBY MINE”

This is a short one but I feel like it makes a lot of sense.

The carvings on Micah’s revolvers obviously, naturally, pose the question “what does he need vengeance for”?

Micah isn’t the first case. And I think there’s a semblance of similarity between Micah’s case and the other case.

Let me introduce you to: Johnny Ringo.

I’m taking this dialogue from the 1993 western movie “Tombstone”.

“What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?”

“A man like Ringo got a great empty hole right through the middle of him. He can never kill enough or steal enough or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.”

“What does he need?”

“Revenge.”

“For what?”

“Bein’ born.”

Essentially, in some way, they’re just the same.

They crave vengeance, for seemingly no reason. For merely existing, because it pains them. Because they see no point in it. Because something’s missing within them.

Yes Johnny is my favorite. Micah is also one of my favourites. Everything in life is connected if you want it to be.

Watch Tombstone 1993 if you haven’t and if you liked the Red Dead Redemption storyline. You won’t regret it. And if you like it let me know.

[metalgeardimir]

[sstrawberriel]

Soo, I lowkey wanna start making character.ai bots. Especially for Top Gun characters (Both 86 and TGM) and val kilmer/tom cruise characters. If y'all have any requests and prompts for a bot, please send 'em in to me😭 ESPECIALLY Tom Kazansky. that man is SO FINEEE and so underrated bro😮‍💨

[aceacebabes]

So far we have had 3 PC deaths in the Curse of Strahd campaign so I decided to make them each a tombstone to remember them by lmao

Choosing the flowers/symbolism was my favorite part

[ophliee]

I think we as a society moved on too fast from her.

TLT is correct it’s been so long since I’ve seen a relevant mom character in this franchise.

Consider this Fnaf au but the only difference is she exists and she kinda silly.

(Good ending cause seeing disheveled women makes me upset :’

[slurpyboii]

That ended exactly how I expected it to and, as expected, I am entirely neutral on it. Wasn't a satisfying ending or a super hype ending or anything like that, literally just the ending that may as well have happened. Not a single thing surprised me that whole conclusion, it felt unfortunately predictable. You can tell he's excited for it's end though so I'm happy for Horikoshi regardless, hope he can get proper rest now.

[kamaandhallie]

The Atreides Family

[ananke-xiii]

Maybe they titled it “Tombstone” because that’s when s13 stopped making sense.

Or: how the “Jack made Cas see Paradise” beat was dumped on Kelly and how Jack is very much like Fleabag because “No one’s asked me a question in 45 minutes”.

I wish I could share in the general excitement surrounding this episode but, to me, its “feel-good” energy is too much of a foreboding for the rest to come that I’m like, nooooo, I can’t take iiiiiittt. After this episode the season completely derails: Castiel’s character doesn’t make sense anymore, Sam and Dean go back and forth in a plot that’s a joke and Jack… where’s Jack? Do we still have a character named Jack? Ah, yes, here he is, maybe I see him.

In the second scene of the episode we have on one side of the room Jack and Dean, the two characters who are very much emotional because of Cas’ return.

Jack is super tender when he approaches Cas and tells him that he missed him. He’s also super zealous to show his father that he’s been learning to master his powers (he can move a pencil!) and that he has gathered enough knowledge about the family business to find a case, a hunter’s case. His purpose in this episode is to demonstrate to his father that he fits in, that he’s good. 

Dean’s also in high spirits and it’s because of Cas’ return as well but the reason is, of course, different. Clearly, he doesn’t have anything to prove to him but he’s euphoric about his “win”. He was literally dead not even 24h prior when he was desperate for an anchor that would reconnect him with meaning and reality. Well, not any anchor. He specifically needed Castiel because, unlike with his mother, Dean didn’t get to have any reconciliation with Cas in s12.

CASTIEL: I don't... What are you doing here? DEAN: Saving your ass. SAM: You and Kelly just taking off was a stupid move. But there's no way we're letting Lucifer get his hands on that kid. It ain't happening. DEAN: Look, Sam's right, okay? We'll work through our crap. We always do. But right now, we are here to get you, get Kelly, and get gone.

Narrator’s voice: they’ll never work through their “crap”. Sigh.

On the other side of the room we have Castiel, who’s fresh off the Empty and looks like he could use a day or two of rest, and Sam, who’s mentally trying to figure out if it was Jack who resurrected Castiel and how he can apply this knowledge to saving Mary. Both Cas and Sam are the ones who are, if not downright contrary, not particularly over the moon by the prospect of working a case.

The tragedy is that both Jack and Dean are so happy about it that it almost feels like they can all forget about the fact that they had to burn Cas but now he's here, that Dean had thoughtlessly run towards death 2 seconds before and that Jack very much doesn’t know yet how to control his powers. In other words, this scene forecasts disaster.

This episode also marks Cas’ first attempt at parenting Jack and it goes both well and disastrously bad for him. Now, parenting is a fucking hard job consisting of infinite responsibilities, one of which is saying no and setting boundaries. This is how Cas starts parenting Jack.

The good news for Cas is that he seems to instinctively predict Jack’s actions, thus knowing when it’s time to say “no”. The slightly bad news is that Jack doesn’t listen to him. And, I mean, this totally makes sense because 1. Jack’s all happy and energized about “his” case; 2. he’s very eager to show off what he has learnt; 3. this is his first chance with his father, it’s like a clean slate for him and he really wants to pass the exam with a “good” stamped on his forehead.

Three times Cas tells Jack “No” and three times Jack disobeys.

The first time is when Jack wants to wake up Dean to tell him about the police update and Cas tells him that he “wouldn’t do that”. Jack, however, would very much want to and so he finds himself face to face with Dean’s gun. Things will get very bad.

The second time Cas tells Jack “No” is when they’re outside the bank and Cas tells Jack to stay where he is but Jack tells him that he’s “got this”. Which he doesn’t because he accidentally kills the security guard.

The third and final time that Cas tells Jack “No” is before he disappears from the bunker. He does it anyway.

Now this might sound strange but, so far, Cas hasn’t done that bad. This is the super-secret that SPN doesn’t want you to know but disobeying the father is actually not that big of a deal, rather it’s quite healthy and it also makes sense for Jack because he’s known his chosen father for maybe less than two days. Their relationship has just started and they need to find their own balance. What’s more important here is the fact that Cas can foresee and understand Jack’s actions, which is a victory for everybody because so far in the season he’s the only one who’s been able to do that.

What he totally fails at is, unfortunately, trying to understand who Jack is. Sam, Dean and Cas have their own (different) opinion about who Jack is and they all hold tight to their beliefs. One thing that always struck me is that nobody asks Jack any question. For me this means that nobody is trying to understand him, they're not curious enough to want to get to know someone like Jack.

Jack is good or evil or special and that's it. And "that's it" because Sam, Dean and Cas see him that way but there isn’t much communication going on in that damn bunker. For instance, when Cas comes back he tells Jack that Sam and Dean have told him that he’s doing well. I don’t want to say it’s a lie but it’s a lie. Nobody is doing well since May 18th. Jack agrees but promptly changes the subject by showing him the pencil trick. This is deflection 101.

One thing that Sam and Cas have in common, though, is that their idea of Jack is strictly dependent on what they think about Kelly and I can’t help but grimace because of it.

Sam, for completely unknown reasons, thinks Kelly was a “good” person, therefore Jack must have a good, perhaps “stronger” side in him that can win over Lucifer’s evilness. Leaving aside for a moment that this a backward, problematic view of maternity, Sam can’t possibly know if Kelly was a good person or not because the two maybe talked to each other one or two times and both times weren’t particularly meaningful moments for either of them. Not saying Kelly wasn’t a good person, just underlining that Sam’s beliefs about Jack are based on his own assumptions bearing zero evidence of reality and founded on outdated notions about maternity.

Cas, on the other hand, thinks Kelly believed that Jack would change the world for the better and so he does too. The thing is, though, if we look back at s12 it’s not Kelly who thought that her son would change the world, it’s Castiel. Kelly thought that she was part of a plan, that she and Cas were destined for something great. She wasn’t the one who had the vision of the future, Castiel had. We have to consider two things here: what Kelly meant by “something great” and Cas’ utopic vision that we don’t see.

I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it again: not even one writer was interested in giving Kelly a little bit of backstory so that we could have an insight on how she is as, you know, a Real Character. As far as motherhood (the sole defining trait of her character) is concerned, we know she wanted to do the “baby thing” with the President and that she had always dreamt about being a mother.

What we do know for sure, however, is that she was a pregnant woman who: was sexually assaulted, abducted, forced to suddenly understand and comply with the supernatural world’s dynamics, abducted again, chained, had committed suicide, had been resurrected, was abducted again, was intimidated by two strangers to get into their car to go to an underground bunker so that they could perform whatever the hell Sam planned to do on her. So, I ask, maybe, just maybe, is it possible to view her behavior and her words in “The Future” as those of someone who probably had all the rights to be on the verge of a mental breakdown? They could’ve framed her “fanaticism” re: Jack's birth as, perhaps, a way to cope with the living hell she was subjected to during her pregnancy. To give meaning to what was happening to her. Regardless of the framing, the show makes a point to tell us that she first and then Cas, Kelly thought, were the ones destined for something great. The writers compared her to Rosemary (from the movie/book "Rosemary's Baby"), like, three times. I hoped that it was a way to signal the abuse she had to endure but I don't think it's the case, sadly.

This is a part of Kelly and Cas’ dialogue in “The Future” that I particularly hate:

Kelly: Maybe. Or maybe it was a miracle. Maybe – maybe everything that I've been through, everything that I still have to go through, is happening for a reason. Maybe it's part of some plan. Castiel: No, it isn't. I used to believe in a plan. I used to believe that I had some mission. But I have been through enough now to know that everyone is just winging it. Some of us quite badly. Lucifer, he's just breaking toys. He's sowing destruction and chaos, and there is no grand purpose at work. And there's no special role for you. When Lucifer took over Rooney's body, I'm sorry. You were just there.

While I understand that Castiel here is more speaking about himself than about Kelly and he, as well, is very well much on the verge of a menty b, I find it so utterly unfair to tell her that she was “just there”.

First of all, NO, if anything, Lucifer was “just there”, she was where she had her right to be, doing her job, sleeping with her partner, talking about her dreams, living her life. That was her life and it was destroyed in an instant, it was only human that she needed a way to make sense of what she was going through. Pregnancy is already a nightmare and, on top of that, she had to go through all that?

And second of all, she literally came back to life after suicide, how couldn’t she not start behaving weirdly? I know the writers were writing Supernatural were Death has only value for characters without any “special role” in the narrative, but come on, they literally just wrote a character telling another character that she has slit her wrists and this is the reply she gets: you’re not special, what happened to you was because you were just there. Brrrrrrrr.

But let’s move to my second point.

Let’s talk about Castiel’s vision. Because, you see, we think that Jack manipulated him but how do we really know it? Yes, there’s that cut scene but it was cut nevertheless and it’s crucial that we don’t see it because, by not seeing it, we can’t really know for sure if Jack had manipulated Cas for real.

Let’s compare it with what Kelly sees when Jack sends her “visions of the future” and what we see: Kelly sees what will happen next in the episode. Period. We see the same thing. Period. No mention of destiny, just the future in the very sense of “what’s going to happen in the next few hours”. She, like us, doesn’t know what Jack has supposedly made Cas see. We know she hasn’t seen anything because in “All Along the Watchtower” we have this little scene here:

KELLY: Tell me again. Tell me again what you saw. CASTIEL: Right, I saw– I saw... I saw the future. I saw a world without pain or hunger or want. I saw the world that this child... that your child... KELLY: Mm. CASTIEL: ...will create. KELLY: Mm. CASTIEL: And it is a world without fear and without suffering and without hate. KELLY: Mm. CASTIEL: I saw paradise.

So the one who was in love with the idea of Jack’s special destiny was not Kelly but Cas.

This is why this dialogue from “Tombstone” seems suspicious to me:

CASTIEL: Yeah, I know she is. Kelly was… She was a very brave woman. JACK: She left me a message. She said I had an angel watching over me. CASTIEL [sighs]: Jack, I'm so sorry. I-I should've been here for you. JACK: No. It's okay. It's just… I understand why she trusted you. Why I trusted you. CASTIEL: You remember that? JACK: I remember feeling… safe. CASTIEL: Jack, your mother, she believed that you would do amazing things. She said that you would change the world for the better. And now, looking at you, talking to you, I know that she was right, that we were right. Kelly would be so proud of you.

I think that the reason why we don’t see Cas’ vision in s12 is because the show wanted to do something with it in s13. It might be the case, what with all the talk about how “Paradise on earth” the Original World seems to be compared to Apocalypse World in s13. I mean, these are just my speculations but it could be. Because, as a matter of fact, Cas’ vision of Jack’s future is dropped in favor of Kelly’s vision of Jack’s future and this… actually never happens?

What we know , though, is that Kelly tells Jack the following in “Patience”:

Kelly: Jack, don’t let anyone tell you who you’re supposed to be. Because who you’re supposed to be isn’t fate, it isn’t me, it isn’t your father. You are who you choose to be. And I know you’re going to okay. You are going to be amazing. You have an angel watching over you.

She’s telling Jack that who he is isn’t fate, that he can choose who he wants to be. I mean, there’s definitely something off going on here.

Maybe they just dropped Cas’ “I saw the future” beat (that was presented as what convinced Cas to save Jack) on Kelly because, by the time the writers started planning s13, they decided that they weren’t gonna use it anymore? I don’t know, what I’m saying, though, is that Kelly was more focused on her kid being good rather than evil as everybody assumed, whereas it was Cas who “saw” Jack change the world for the better. But we don’t see what Cas sees so we have to take his and Dean’s word for it. And both words seem to be pretty biased. At any rate, something doesn’t add up in between s12 and s13.

So, to recap: what we have seen is that Kelly has never actually said that her son would do great things, but that she believed that her son would be good. It was Castiel who believed that Jack would create great things in the future because of a vision neither us nor Kelly have ever seen. Even if we consider the cut scene it still doesn’t account for the difference between Kelly’s and Cas’ visions and/or why Kelly didn’t see what Cas saw.

Another person that underlies the “to be vs to do” dilemma is Mia Vallens where in “The Big Empty” she shapeshifts into Kelly:

JACK: Sam thinks you were right, that—that I’m good. He wants me to believe it, and I wanna believe it, too. It’s just, I… I’ve hurt people. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. And I know I should feel bad, and I say I feel bad, but most of the time, I mostly… I don’t feel anything. And that’s why I think maybe… Maybe I’m a monster. MIA/KELLY: Jack. It doesn’t matter what you are. It matters what you do. And even monsters can do good in this world. JACK: You really believe that? MIA/KELLY: I have to. I have to.

First of all, Mia is telling Jack that he’s a monster, lol. And she literally doesn’t know he’s a Nephilim so WTF? Anyway, the things are two: either the writers were drunk when they wrote this (Jack: “I’ve hurt people, I think I’m a monster” Mia: “It doesn’t matter what you are, only what you do”. MIA, ffs, THIS IS WHAT HE HAS JUST TOLD YOU, HELLO????? HELLO???? He’s just told you that he has done something that makes him think he’s a monster, how do you not see how your advice is shit?) or, more probably, they blatantly wanted to remind us that the person who’s speaking is not Kelly but a shapeshifter who tries to do good things to atone for her past crimes. She has to believe that because of her own past, not Jack, not Kelly, Mia.

What’s more, Jack saying he doesn’t feel anything… doesn’t really mean he doesn’t feel anything. Since he was born he’s been living with two men obsessing over “good and evil”, two concepts he still clearly and rightfully doesn’t understand because nobody is explaining him shit. How is he supposed to know? Of course he’s confused as to how or what he should feel.

For example, by the end of “Tombstone” Jack is evidently confused and ashamed. He feels shame because he has “failed” in front of his father, his “failure” resulted in the death of an innocent man and, what’s more, Sam, Cas and Dean are talking about him in the other room like he’s just proven that he’ll never be good. Excluding and talking about someone when this someone is feeling shame is, like, the worst response ever.

No wonder the episode ends like this:

SAM: Jack, look, this life, what we do, it's… it's not easy. And we've all done things we regret. JACK: Just don't. You're afraid of me. CASTIEL: Jack, no. JACK: No, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just another monster. DEAN: No, you're not. I thought you were. I did. But… Like Sam said, we've all done bad. We all have blood on our hands. So if you're a monster, we're all monsters. JACK: No, you don't… Every time I try and do something good, people get hurt. I thought I was getting better. I'm not… I don't know what I am, but I know I can't make the world a better place, not like this. I can't even do one good thing. And I know that if I stay, I'm gonna hurt you. All of you. And… I can't. You're all I have.

My heart aches a little at the words “You’re all I have” because they have all failed him so much and he literally doesn’t have anyone else.

Also, Jack echoing of Cas’ words “She said that you would change the world for the better” resembles what Chuck told Sam and Dean in s11 and that Dean paraphrases in his prayer to him: “You said the earth would be fine because it had me… and it had Sam” discarding them as false (can’t shake the feeling that they wanted to go somewhere with that “Paradise on earth” crap).

All Jack has has unfortunately failed him: Sam has failed him with his training mentality that bore no fruit and made Jack think that he had value only if he succeeded; Dean has failed him because he both threatened to kill him and provided “shelter” for him putting Jack in the position of basically having to live with his possible executioner (we know Dean wouldn’t eventually do it but the point is that Jack doesn’t and Dean’s threats deeply, deeply affect him).

Cas was the only one who could have had a real shot with Jack but he arrived tooo lateeee! And he (understandably) came back with his own package of preconceived ideas, ideas that made it all worse because Cas didn't know that Jack was noooot doing well! I hate SPN, why would they do this to meeeee?

Of course Jack would eventually run away. Perhaps the major takeaway from all this is that he did way better on his own than with the three of them. And that says a lot.

[sgt-tombstone]

Old Guard/Immortal AU

I found this in my notes and I can’t remember if I ever posted it here

————

Whenever Johnny had spared a thought towards his own death, he always imagined a dusty desert somewhere in the Middle East, a knife to the throat by insurgents or a stray bullet to the chest in the dead of night.

He never imagined the Channel Tunnel, halfway between England and France, a bullet turning his brain to bloody mush 115 metres below sea level.

He also never imagined waking up again.

———

Simon, Price, Gaz, and Roach all woke up at exactly the same time. It was a rarity, all of them being in the same place at the same time, but Laswell had requested their help, something to do with a human trafficking ring, and Price had never been able to turn his oldest friend down. But human trafficking was the last thing on Simon’s mind as he shot up, the dredges of his nightmare still clinging like thick ink to his mind and skin. As soon as he caught sight of Roach’s eyes across the room, he knew.

Another one. A new one.

“His name is Johnny,” he gasped out, his voice on the edge of rasping panic. Something in his chest flipped at the name; he hadn’t known it until it had slipped out of his mouth, but it felt right on his tongue, even when everything else about the vision felt achingly, viscerally wrong. “Price,” he said, equally breathless, almost a plea. “His name is Johnny.”

“He was shot in the head,” Gaz said, rubbing both temples where the bullet had entered and exited. “Pistol, small gauge. I heard a Slavic accent. Russian, maybe?”

“Underground,” Price supplied. “A tunnel. I saw train tracks.”

“That could be anywhere,” Simon said, shaking his head, attempting to dislodge the inexplicable sense of wrongness. He had born witness to others in the group die their first deaths before. He had seen Roach’s sandy-blond hair catch fire like summer-dried grass, had seen Gaz’s hand slip from a rope as he plummeted from a helicopter to the busy highway below. Neither of them had affected him like this.

Slowly, Roach turned his sketchbook to the group. After his own death, he had become the group’s designated sketcher. He wasn’t the best, but he was leaps and bounds better than anyone else, whose hands were far more used to the heft of weaponry rather than the finesse of artistry. His knack for visualization helped, too. As usual, his sketch of the details he had caught from the nightmare revealed far more than Simon’s spotty detailing or Gaz’s audio clues.

Simon dragged himself from bed and scrambled to snatch the sketchbook from Roach’s hands. His friend didn’t seem to mind; it left his hands empty enough to sign, finally joining the conversation properly. But Simon wasn’t paying attention. He was drinking in the details.

A mohawk. Wide, bright eyes that he instinctively knew were light; green, maybe, or grey. No, blue; he knew they were blue. A strong, stubbled jawline below slightly pouty lips. A headset and tactical vest: military. A Union Jack patch: British, or British-adjacent. A blood type patch: O positive.

A gaping gunshot wound to the head, leaking colorless blood and viscera onto cold concrete.

He didn’t realize he was keening until Price’s hand landed on his shoulder, and he didn’t realize he had clutched the sketchbook to his chest until Roach gently pried it from his grip.

“We’ll find him, son,” Price said, and a glance up into his stubborn, flinty eyes settled something in Simon’s chest. Whoever Johnny was, he was going to be okay. They just had to get to him first.

[sspookyspoonss]

An analysis of the depictions of the Patients shadows in In Sound Mind. Spoilers.

I finished In Sound Mind and I loved it. So I’m going to talk about something I thought was really clever after thinking it through (and something people probably caught immediately but oh well). The patients shadow forms (as I will be referring to them as).

Initially I was confused at the seeming inconsistency of how the patients shadows are characterised. The Watcher and Bull are Virginia and Max’s but with exacerbated mental health issues while The Shade and The Flash are seemingly the opposites of Allen and Lucas. Then the Empty is literally just Rosemary. So why the variation in characterisation?

Then I reflected on something Agent Rainbow said in the final tape. That he will take over Desmond’s mind. That Desmond’s patients hadn’t beaten him, so why could Desmond? Then the obvious hit me.

Agent Rainbow is what Desmond fears. That he’s killing his patients rather than saving them, that he’s actually somehow a malevolent force who makes peoples lives worse (feelings exacerbated by his partner leaving him with what Magdalena said in her note ‘I want happiness’). We know that all of the games patients are impacted by Agent Rainbow and they in some way succumb to it. Therefore, the Shadows we see are the Agent Rainbow’s the Patients would have encountered if they were the protagonists of the game. Like Desmond, they represent their fears, what they were suppressing in their subconscious that was unleashed by Agent Rainbow via connection to the ‘collective unconscious.’ However, unlike Desmond, they do not overcome their shadows and thus become them, as Agent Rainbow stated he would do to Desmond.

Individual analysis:

Virginia-

Virginia has severe issues with her appearance and cannot look at herself in a mirror, feeling people are always judging her. She sings she’s scared of being lonely (‘That I’m lonely’ ‘I would tell you all about it if you’d listen’ - “A Doll’s House”) something she no longer was before being exposed to Agent Rainbow, having a relationship with a guy called Dave and a routine which involves social interaction. The Watcher attacks people who look at her, driving people away, causing her shadow to be lonely, a manifestation of her fear as a result of Agent Rainbow. This is best demonstrated by her tape occurring in an abandoned supermarket with just mannequins and dolls of her family for company. Furthermore, The Watcher’s design is based on Medusa, a woman who’s face was turned inside out and is so hideous looking at her kills you. This is a blatant manifestation of perhaps her most dominant fear, that she is physically repulsive.

Allen-

Allen has been plagued by nightmares of being swallowed by shadows since he was a child. He is so terrified of shadows and the dark he has centred his whole life around being near light. (My interpretation of Bottom of the Pit is he is so terrified of the nightmares getting worse, and seeing ‘the bottom of the pit,’ he would rather be dead, aka seeing ‘the dark end of a tunnel.’) He also seems to feel very connected to Desmond, and heavily relies on his guidance (‘When I’m uptight I call you on the phone’ - “Bottom of the Pit”). He also very explicitly wants to help people, shown both in the accident that puts him in a coma caused by him warning others ‘about the monsters,’ and in his song (‘All I’m doing is aiding, all I offer to give is a helping hand’ - “Bottom of the Pit”). The Shade is the dark abyss that Allen fears, he has literally become what he feared the most. He also actively attacks, again showing how Agent Rainbow has transformed Allen into his fear, he is now one of the ‘monsters’ in his nightmares who he worried would hurt him or other people. It also ties to his Icarus connection, if he strays too far from his safety, the lighthouse, he fears he will get swallowed by the ‘pit,’ like Icarus did the ocean. The Shade also states that Desmond ‘failed [him]’ perhaps showing even after willingly seeking help Allen both thinks he was beyond saving and was scared of that being true (‘I stay awake wondering if what you say is true, I am flawed but fixable’ - “Bottom of the Pit”).

Max-

Max’s actions are all motivated by getting visiting rights to see his daughter Maddison again, even what gets him killed is caused by a desire for this, so we can safely assume not seeing her again must be a massive fear of his. He seems scared to be fully consumed by his anger else he won’t be able to see Maddison (‘Is anger all consuming’ ‘Is darkness fast approaching’ - “Is It Me?”). Agent Rainbow makes this fear manifest, Max’s shadow, The Bull, cannot control his anger as he was learning to do with Desmond’s help (‘Even in a difficult case, progress was made’ - Rainbow Tape). The Bull also violently attacks people. Both of these things he had to prove to the court he would not do, but due to Agent Rainbow he cannot, thus his fear of never seeing Maddison is created since he won’t be granted visiting rights. He also represents the Minotaur, a beast who, in some tellings, specifically eats children. He has become something that is a danger to his daughter, something that his is both scared of being, and scared to admit that he was due to his unaddressed anger issues.

Lucas-

Lucas is a war veteran who was exposed to some primitive form of Agent Rainbow, with the resulting episode causing him to kill his friend, an event that left him with PTSD. He was evidentially close with the whole squadron of soldiers wiped out in this incident (‘We’ve got plans for what comes later’ - “Me and the Boys”) and is devastated by them all killing each other due to the Agent Rainbow (‘By a show of hands the group disbands’ ‘I’m crashing, I’m crashing down.’ - “Me and the Boys”). He can hear the voices of others impacted by Agent Rainbow and wants to unveil what the government and Mayer is doing as vengeance for what they did to him and ‘the boys.’ The Flash is an unthinking weapon, reflecting Lucas’ fear of what happened to him when exposed to Agent Rainbow, being unable to fully control himself. He also speaks very militaristically, in the Phonetic Alphabet, referring to Desmond as ‘Delta Whisky’ in his tape. This further demonstrates how Agent Rainbow has caused him in his shadow form to become the unthinking weapon of the government which he fears could occur due to his experience of exposure to the agent. It also fits in with his Cyclops connection, the most famous myth involves Odysseus blinding him to escape death. Agent Rainbow causing him to become a mindless monster means he cannot expose the government and Mayer, he is metaphorically blind, thus Mayer and the government escape death, meaning Lucas’ fear of not achieving vengeance is again manifested in his shadow form by Agent Rainbow. Rosemary also refers to the people connected to the ‘collective subconscious’ as ‘human radio towers’ (Lucas’ tape), which is reflected in the Flash’s design. Agent Rainbow has made him physically become his fear of what could be possible through Agent Rainbow.

Rosemary-

I think what reinforces my idea is Rosemary. She is the one character with a record who is NOT impacted by Agent Rainbow, she is murdered (implied to be buried alive?) rather than be subjected to it. She sings she wants to make up for creating Agent Rainbow (‘Take all that I have to give’ ‘Payment for my crime’ - “Whatever it Takes”). The Empty acts according to this, helping you. She is still herself because the nerve agent didn’t impact her, instead she used radio waves separately to contact those affected.

In conclusion, the Patients shadows are manifestations of what the characters fear the most, whether it be internal, like Virginia and Max, or external, like Allen and Lucas. The different depiction of Rosemary, who was not impacted by Agent Rainbow helps solidify this.

Thank you for reading my little rant.

[unagidevi]

Tombstone and Fleck designs, below is Nox and comparisons

These are all remakes, as you can see from the comparison. I couldn't do Noxs humanoid short as it gave me a lot of trouble trying to fo his arrow keys on the back of his head.

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

A tragedy in two parts:

Don't worry, Rust gives some head pets later as a "good boy" without actually calling Zero a "good boy".

TLT MASTERLIST

Forgot to post this here lmao (also sorry if the layout is strange, I'm on my cellphone not my PC lmao). I have more Zero x Rust brainrot art coming soon and maybe some other stuff..? Tbh Zero and Rust have consumed my time and I've not worked on anything else lmfaoooo.

Zero throwing it back thing is in reference to this video:

Original: