#tom graph

[parsley-sage-rosemary-n-thyme]

E X C U S E Y O U

Are we gonna talk about this? Please?

[paul-simon-juggling]

Young Simon & Garfunkel pics that make me happy which u may or may not have seen :)

Respective Paul & Artie editions coming soon!!

[parsley-sage-rosemary-n-thyme]

E X C U S E Y O U No but really, I've always enjoyed Private World way too much, and I hope more and more people realise how gay-ahem-great it is.

Okay, there are these two musicians from the Netherlands called Nick & Simon. Their idols are Simon & Garfunkel, and they’ve shot a 5-episode documentary of them going to New York to step in some of Paul and Artie’s footsteps, like visiting their childhood neighbourhood, interviewing some people who knew or played a role in Paul and Art’s life, etc. They also often play S&G songs for their interviewees and so on. In the 4th episode, for example, they went to the elderly home where Art made recordings for Bookends, and they also interviewed some of the residents there; it was lovely. In the last episode they met Ron Delsener who confirmed Art wore a toupet for the Central Park Concert. A+++ content all around!

I missed the first two episodes on tv, and there are restrictions of me watching it from Belgium, so I had to be a bit creative, but the other day I finally got my hands on the second episode, where they take a picture in front of Paul’s childhood home, and then they also go to Art’s childhood home. Which is now owned by another family, and they could go inside, though the new owner seemed a bit reluctant to let them.  

That new owner, who - granted - is a bit of an odd bloke, starts talking about a BOX WITH PAPERS AND DOCUMENTS THAT ART’S FAMILY LEFT THERE and they subtly ask if they can see the box. 

Listen, I would kill for that box. It has some clippings of Tom & Jerry, letters Art wrote or were written to Art, job applications that he did, a diary of some sorts, and lyrics or poems that he’s written. LYRICS THAT ART HAS WRITTEN. UNRELEASED LYRICS (at least I think they’re unreleased, and I think they’re written by Art…like can you imagine if these were early S&G lyrics???). Like, why is no one screaming about this???? 

I grabbed a screencap of one of the papers with lyrics that the new owner showed and brightened it a bit. I hope it’s visible. Let’s weep, okay. 

Could this be Art’s handwriting? 

Here are the lyrics:

Now I recall, words that we(re) said

Times that we shared, tears that were shed

Sad (little) eyes, a child’s gentle frown

Silky brown hair came atumbling down

Secrets we shared, safe in our own ??

All this is gone, faded away

Bright burning love, ashes of grey

How could we tell, in the warm summer sun

Spring would turn cold, and winter would come.

Gone are the days, gone is our own private world

There are chords, too. As far as I can see, written in blue ballpoint pen beneath these words. Was this a song that Art had written?

There was more. There was a stamp from the time he called himself Artie Garr. There was a letter addressed to him. There was another poem/song that we could briefly see on the screen. I’ll see if I can make something of it.  

I died, okay. 

[webgottism]

the most well known actors to come out of bob being the guys that play christenson and janovec. was there a curse or something what happened there

[sciencemenace]

You know a graph is gonna be good when it has this

Source

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

Cassandra:

[moonage-dancer]

why does pAUL LOOK LIKE THAT WHERE IS THIS PHOTO FROM

(song slaps btw)

[ibboard]

Meanwhile, in a Tory-led government… ☝

A recent cartoon for New Scientist. Many more here.

[denial-permanente]

What is the sleeping arrangement? Some call removing chastity at night is safer and some would view that as not full time/permenant. What is your view?

🔏 Tom here. I don't know why removing one's cage at night is "safer", unless it's because of the nocturnal erections. I'm sure some guys in poor fitting cages can damage the blood vessel balloons that create erections. If something is actually painful, then remove it 🤷🏻‍♂️.

I do not have a view on what is or is not "permanent." As I've written before, it's senseless to talk about permanent because it's too difficult to get everyone to agree on the meaning of the term. Instead, it's easier to describe one's state on a 2 axis graph of time spent caged vs frequency of orgasm/pleasure allowed.

Here's a link to a blog post on that:

The Caged/Denied Matrix

[dreaaspeaks]

How Tokio Hotel members would be in Hogwarts

idk why no one has thought of this but thanks to my irl, this idea has been rotting away at my brain (these ain't my gifs ya'll)

Bill Kaulitz

I know some people might disagree but Bill is a Slytherin, HEAR ME OUT

he is ambitious, cunning and highly persuasive

He is definitely one of those students that no one really knows why at face value why he got into his house

People presume, if he isn't in uniform, that he is a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw

He takes his passions and ambitions very seriously and is willing to overwork both himself and sometimes unintentionally, the people around him to reach his goals

I feel like he hates potions and transfiguration but loves more easy going subjects like Care for Magical Creatures and Divination

He probably likes the idea of Defence Against the Dark Arts but hates the amount of essays required

Bill took Astronomy because it looked and sounded cool but after he saw the graph paper on his table during the first lesson, he has been trying to drop it ever since

No one believes that him and Tom are related let alone twins, people just thought that their last names were a coincidence

Very personable so I think he would be quite popular amongst students but his dislike for too much authority doesn't make him too popular amongst professors teaching subjects he doesn't like

Professors teaching subjects he is passionate about however, LOVE HIM

always doing random extra studies just because he wanted to and for extra credit

The type to not study and fail for subjects he hates

But will still pass even if he didn't study when it comes to subjects he likes

Likes to watch Quidditch matches to support his friends but will rather die than get on a broom

Barely passed Flying in first year

Is that one friends that knows everything about everyone in Slytherin and surprisingly, Hufflepuff (why? even he's not sure)

Has gotten so many detentions because of going against dress code

He bedazzled his robe and tie with fabric pens, bleach and rhinestones and never changed them back no matter how many warnings he got

He got asked to the yule ball by a Beaubatoux boy and istg Bill laughed at first thinking it was a joke

When he realised the guy was fr he said he would think about it and get back to him

He literally put off thinking about it until Tom and Georg sat him down to talk about it so he could finally make a decision

Bill said yes to the date literally three days before the ball but mumbled it so fast and left so fast that Gustav had to repeat what Bill said to the boy

Tom Kaulitz

Tom would be a Gryffindor.

Do I need to elaborate?

okay I probably should

He is less outwardly warm compared to Bill but he is more reliable

Tom is a loyal mf especially when it comes to his friends

However, he is in Gryffindor because he is very much willing to take a leap of faith

He is impulsive when it comes to a lot of things especially when it comes to school life

Went to Quidditch tryouts during second year as a dare from Georg and Bill with neither expecting him to do well

Bitch came out of tryouts with a Quidditch uniform and an inflated ego

Plays chaser for Quidditch team, pretty good player and uses Quidditch practice as an excuse to put off every other subject

"Why isn't the essay finished? It was due three days ago"

"Quidditch practice..."

that convo happened on the last week of school and he fully thought the Professor would buy it

To say he sucks at Potions is an understatement

When he found out he could drop potions in 6th year he ran a lap around the Gryffindor common room

He goes to every house party and gets absolutely smashed

SO.MANY.RUMORS

He is surrounded by rumors, literally unless they are in his inner circle, no one really knows what is true or fake when it comes to Tom

People think he is some mean asshole that pushes people away from Bill but in reality he is just protective when it comes to who Bill mixes with since Bill is in Slytherin

Plays the student population's need to drama well so he is a traditionally popular type of guy

At some point he ends up ACTUALLY liking a girl and everyone doesn't recognise him, like he is stumbling over himself and begging to do projects for just a slight chance to do the project with her

Starts to show off more during Quidditch games like tries to do tricks

almost falls off his broom but he will deny it and swear to Merlin that he meant to slip off the broom

Georg Listing

he is a Ravenclaw you cannot change my mind

He isn't like the nerdy super studious type of Ravenclaw (but really is any Raven though?)

He is the seven cups of coffee in the morning, two hours of sleep a night and getting constantly distracted by small side topics when studying type of Ravenclaw

off topic but I think he would be a muggle born who just adjusted really quickly to wizard life??

He would be into Defence Against the Dark Arts and charms like the hands on subjects mixed with essays

He HATES herbology, he could never keep the plants alive no matter how hard he tried

No one thinks he studies like everyone writes him off as the guy who didn't study because he doesn't do homework but he does really well in tests

Horrible credit

Great grades

Georg doesn't really speak up in class unless necessary and I see him falling asleep during Astronomy class

Like when his voice dropped after puberty people didn't even realise it was him talking because he talked so little in class

OUTSIDE OF CLASS HOWEVER

he parties just as much as Tom but stays more sober just incase they come across Professors

Georg plays Beater for Ravenclaw after he was asked to go to tryouts

When Tom and Georg are on the field together it is a bloodbath, Georg targets Tom and only Tom

One of those lowkey popular students, think Cedric Diggory

always helping the guys study and convincing them to at least study a bit

He isn't a sought after guy as a tutor but will accept to help anyone if asked

Kinda scary looking and isn't as open as Bill nor as big a party animal as Tom so he isn't approached very often by younger students tbh kinda feared for no reason, Gustav makes fun of him about it a lot

When it comes to dating at Hogs he is very straightforward, think how Fred asked Angelina

Romantic enough for it to be endearing but not too much for it to be creepy to a random cute girl yk?

Is definitely a Quidditch player boyfriend if you get where I'm going like will make the girl wear his jersey at his game and would magically become a better player after getting into a r/s

Gustav Schafer

I know people will argue that he is a Hufflepuff but like bffr have you actually seen how he acts on Tokio Hotel TV??

Gustav would be a Gryffindor

He would be a Gryffindor in like a Dean Thomas kinda way

If Tom was Cormac, Gustav would be Dean

Becomes besties with the House Elves during first year because he got lost on the way to potions

Never went to Bill's dorm because he is scared shitless of the Black Lake and that damn squid

the muggle born that never got used to magic

Like he would be sorting out his trunk or cleaning his house and halfway through he remembers he went to fucking magic school for 7 years

BIG Quidditch fan

Paints his face and has merch like the whole nine yards

If Tom misses ONE shot during a game, he would not hear the end of it from Gustav for like a month

Refuses to use a quill

Will straight up in front of a Professor use a pen

He would not get an owl, Georg talks so much shit about it because they can't write to each other the 'aesthetic' way

Gustav just gives people his email/number

Naturally with that he isn't the best in DADA or Transfigurations but he would be good in Herbology and Arithmancy

Throws Tom under the bus SO OFTEN

That's why everyone thinks he is so sweet and innocent, he would push Tom into the way of a Professor on the way back to the common room from a party

Sends Howlers to his friends as pranks

He doesn't know he's popular but he is popular and gets so many confessions every day but just shrugs them off

Like the confession letter could be from the hottest girl in their year and he would go

"Awe that's sweet"

AND MOVE ON

He is a sweetheart so he will ask a close friend to the Ball if he isn't interested in anyone

Even if he isn't interested in a romantic way he will still make it very cute and sweet to make his date feel special

If he is asking a girl on a actual date he would bring her to HoneyDukes and insist to pay for all her sweets

That's his big move, the HoneyDukes date (It's his thing)

(anyways so this is the first post of miiiine kinda long ngl)

[official-lucifers-child]

HTHEHDJFJRKslsksjdjs just saw a line graph of “types of women” and on one end it was scarlett johansson (conventionally attractive white skinny femme person) and on the other end it was tom holland (conventionally attractive white skinny masc person) and i guess it was supposed to be humorous because haha dude being a type of woman haha? or something? the comments were utterly bonkers as well. i feel like i tripped and accidentally landed in the tiktok-ified side of tumblr where gender essentialism is fun and good and totally progressive.

[notthesacrifice]

Can't wait for Tom Lum to graph this when he's in his eighties

fall out boy we didnt start the fire putting me into a catatonic state rn

[arshipweek]

AR Ship Week - Fandom in 2024

Another year, another shipweek, and another State of the AR Shipping Fandom post. This is the first weekly post leading up to the Alex Rider Ship Week. Just under 4 weeks to go!

This post focuses on pre-S3 fandom, since the data was scraped before the season was released, but we might do an update for post-S3 fics. For methodology, it can be found both on the graphic analysis pages and in the notes at the bottom of this post. For those only curious about the popular pairings this year (1), feel free to read right on.

This year, we have analysed a few specific shipping stats to get a look at us as a fandom.

We have also created an interactive dashboard of all the graphs for you to explore. This is where the following data was taken from, as well as some bonus visuals!

A Timeline of AO3

For a blast from the past, we took a look at the shipping timeline - the count of fics and authors per year for the top ten most popular AR ships - and found immediate proof that as a shipping fandom, we're still small enough that a few, determined people can make a difference. AR fandom's use of AO3 as its primary fandom purveyor is fairly recent, as most of its history can be found on FFnet, but with a total of just under 3k fics as of April 20th, we're gaining on FFnet's 4.5k of AR fics at a very respectable pace.

Some particular developments were:

The number of Yalex authors was about the same in 2021 - 2023 (just around 40) but the number of Yalex fics in 2022 was almost double that of 2021 and 2023. This was not due to a sudden, imported backlog that we could see but a handful of popular events/challenges and potentially the release of S2 in December of 2021.

Tom/Alex and Yassen/Ian both had a peak of fics in 2021, most likely because of the release of S1 that gave Tom a much larger part and offered an intriguing look at Yassen and Ian's potential past.

Fiona/Sabina had a huge spike in fics in 2023 due to a Femmeslash February event (2) that sent it firmly up the ranks of popular ships.

The State of the OTP

For the top ten AR ships, we also took a look at how many of the writers that had written other AR ships (and which ones) to look for interesting patterns and to see if there was any real difference to spot. As it turns out, the answer was a resounding yes:

At one extreme, we have Alexmis (Alex Rider/Artemis Fowl) which is a fandom unto itself. Only 20 percent of the writers of the pairing have written for other pairings in AR fandom fics, and Alexmis fics as a whole tend to lean more towards adding Alex to the Artemis Fowl world rather than vice versa (3).

In the middle range, we have Yalex and Alex/Wolf - two pairings about as old as the fandom itself, and which both have an OTP percentage around 55 - as well as (mostly) newcomers Tom/Alex and Kyra/Alex, both with an OTP percentage in the 40-50 range.

At the other extreme, we have Yassen/John with an OTP percentage of just 4. Fiona/Sabina does it one better with an OTP rate of 0 (!) but the sample size here is so small it makes no meaning to compare it.

So what other pairings do these writers enjoy indulging in, then?

Yalex writers really like their Yassen pairings. Out of the combined number of non-Yalex fics the Yalex authors have written, 24 percent of them are Yassen/Ian and 22 percent are Yassen/John. This means that almost half of their non-Yalex pairings feature Yassen in some way.

70 percent of John/Helen shippers have written other pairings, too - probably because of the pairing's nature as a background part of Alex's story and not necessarily the focus of a shipfic they're in. 30 percent of the fics written by John/Helen writers outside of the ship are Yalex (and 6 percent are Yassen/John).

The case is even more extreme for Yassen/John, which is firmly entwined with the Yalex pairing. 96 percent of the writers have written other AR ships, with three quarters of those fics being Yalex.

Text Analysis

Interactive dashboard with graphs and visuals

We also ran a text analysis on the shipfics to look for patterns and recurring details in the writing - first in general, then for specific ships. The amount of detail for each ship depends a lot on the sample size, which results in a detailed, varied word cloud for Yalex and somewhat less so for several of the smaller ships.

For that analysis, we recommend clicking around to explore the word clouds and get a feel for the different ships, but for the ambitious types, we have a word hunt ready as well (4):

Word Hunt, Significant Phrases edition:

Tools of the Trade:

Duct tape

Frying pan

Krav Maga

Sniper rifle

Zip ties

I Know That Reference:

Fer de Lance

Air Force

Albert Bridge

Point Blanc

Brecon Beacons

Getting Kinky:

Boxer briefs

Dimly lit

Lower lip

Pressed a kiss

Yes sir

Feel free to comment with any particularly entertaining/intriguing/otherwise just plain fun word cloud combinations you've spotted, and we will see you again next week!

______ 

Note on methodology:

The two Alex Rider sections (main + TV) were scraped over the course of two days in early March 2024, except for fics that were locked to AO3 users only (5). For the author specific statistics, we excluded orphan_account and anonymous authors. Median measures were chosen over average the majority of the time to account for outliers, especially in the case of the rarer pairings (6).

For ship-analysis, a fic counts under every pairing it has. This means that someone who writes Yassen/Alex, Yassen/John and Yassen/Ian in the same fic (7) will count as an author for all three pairings and under the Yalex OTP analysis, they will have an additional fic marked under both Yassen/John and Yassen/Ian.

(1) Yalex. It's Yalex. Look, we're not even going to bother posting the stats for that. It's still Yalex, trust us. Though we can talk again next year, considering how well Kyralex is currently doing post-S3. (2) Proving that a few, determined writers can make or break the non-Yalex ship rankings. Please use this power for good; if someone manages to get Sayle/Nadia Vole or something into the top three next year, I'm outsourcing that part of the stat post to a particularly enthusiastic raccoon with a keyboard. (3) Canonically, the wholesale kidnapping of Alex is pretty on-brand for Alex Rider supervillains so really, Artemis is in excellent company. (4) Technically two, but there is unsurprisingly a lot of overlap between the general wordcloud and the Yalex one. For those curious, here's the Word Hunt, Yalex edition:

Adam's apple

Bottle of lube

Cock

Index finger

Nerve endings

Pale skin

Scar tissue

(5) As of April 20th, 225 out of 2961 fics were locked to AO3 users. (6) Meaning anything non-Yalex, let's all be honest here. (7) Because sometimes, like a particularly persistent Pokémon player, Yassen also needs to catch them all. Traumas or Riders is dealer's choice.

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

i literally love your mockumentary fic so much!! i've read it again and again, and it's written so well, i can SEE the scenes play out real time-- they're appearing in front of me; they're in the room with me. god i love mockumentaries. my favourite part about yours is the humor + character dynamics

looking forward to what comes next! :D

oh my 🥹 thank you for taking the time to send this ask - you've made my whole week! your kind words have fueled a new life in me 😤 i'm naturally a slow writer, but i'll do whatever i can to make sure the next chapter comes out soon 🫡 for you my anon friend

in the meanwhile 👀 a gift

It’s when they enter the Obliviator Headquarters to start their interview of the staff (aiming to make Ms Granger proud) that they find Head Auror Harry Potter speaking with someone. The camera zooms in on Harry’s angry face, alight with a severe frown. Most of his body is blocked by the other person, his head just visible over their shoulder—nevertheless, their tall figure and well-cut robes form an attractive silhouette. ‘There is something oddly familiar about them,’ whispers one of the crew, but they can’t put their finger on it. When Harry’s mouth opens, and no sound comes out, the crew realises they are under a heavy muffliato. The buzzing is a low hum, and the wand-audio operator frowns at the amplified noise coming through their headgear. “How has the filming been?”  The crew jumps and turns to see Percy sitting, legs crossed at the knee, in a chair just beside the entryway. “Avoiding the Aurors, I hope?” Percy, as always, is glancing over documents and keeping a keen eye on the shimmery graph. The crew sort of shrugs. They can’t begin to explain the last few hours even if they want to. “Hm, I’ll take that as a yes… Only to evade hearing otherwise. And don’t mind Head Auror Potter; he’ll be done any minute now if you wish to speak with him. But if you’re here for—" “Go to hell, Riddle,” Harry’s voice rings out with the sudden break of the muffliato. And then the answer hits them all smack across the head. Shock has the camera operators’ hold drooping, slightly cutting them from frame. Harry prowls out of the Obliviator Headquarters, and the once-unknown person turns to watch him leave, revealing a strikingly recognisable and handsome face. It’s the Minister for Magic, Tom Riddle.

[ofmistandmire]

As the second week of applications comes to a close, it's time for another stats update! I hope you like graphs because today I'm bringing you a bunch of them. <3

As of this morning, we have received a total of 37 applications!

Taking only high-preference choices into account, the most popular Trades are Kindler and Grave Tender, each having 6 applications, with Merchant being the least popular with 0.

If we consider both high- and medium-preference choices, the most popular Trade is Explorer, with 17 applications, closely followed by Field Medic and Caregiver, each with 15.

If we lump Trades together into their respective Paths, we can see that choices are fairly well distributed, with Naturalist being the most popular amongst both high-preference and high-to-medium-preference choices.

20-40 moons old remains by far the most popular age range for character applications. Gender is decently varied across applications, though toms are a bit more common than mollies and nonbinary characters.

As for the adopts, Dusted Moth remains the most popular adopt with a whopping 7 applications. Sharp Ivy has received 4 applications, while poor Hovering Nightjar still has only 2 applications.

And lastly, a small housekeeping update: 'Deceased' and 'Unaffiliated' tabs have been added to the Allegiances Spreadsheet, representing dead characters and those presumed to be alive but not currently members of the Kith, respectively.

----

New member applications for OMaM will be open for one more week, closing on March 22nd at 11:59pm EDT.

APPLICATION INFORMATION

[sumquiasum]

Please make the parent graph!

[x]

my placement of hiram is probably the most controversial but he loves his daughters a lot and shows it a lot, just not in very healthy ways. whether his kids (specifically veronica) see and understand that is up for debate, though I think she understands him very well. sometimes she just wishes she had a dad who could just say "I love you and I'm proud of you and I never wished for a son after seeing what a marvel you are."

hal could be higher but he just does not care about polly. at all.

tom keller is so low because he's homophobic in s6 and only semi-brainwashed as an excuse.