#together with those who don't use their turn signals

[thinkinonsense]

forgive if it’s a bit scatterbrained but hear me out… some sort of reverse corruption w old man!logan >///< i just feel like he won’t be the type of guy who’d immediately be into having a thing w young!reader. i feel like he won’t even take it seriously at first or there’s def gonna be more resistance from him, he’d probably feel initially repulsed by the idea of even beginning to think of them that way given how young they are. but reader is bold bold, so they’re gonna keep pushing and pushing until they’ve got him where they want him. but even if she’s practically sinking down on him, logan is still probably gonna be like “fuck’s wrong with you, huh? old enough to be your fucking grandfather, kid. c’mon, you don’t really want this.”

poor old man’s just too decent for his own good :(

old man!logan x young bold fem!reader *mdni

logan couldn't stand you. how young and ambitious you were; how you couldn't just take no as a fuckin' answer. you thought it was cute but logan found it rather obnoxious. you were persistent with your attraction towards the older man; frequenting the only bar in town that logan was still welcomed in.

"what are we drinking tonight, lo?" your voice was a siren song that he wished he could turn off.

"whiskey." he mumbles against the glass.

the mean glare he sent your way would've made anyone else run in fear, but not you. instead smiling up at him with bambi eyes. at first, logan thought you were just dumb, not picking up on his signals but as it turned out, you're just stubborn.

every friday night, you sat on the stool next to him. you should've been flirting with guys your age by the pool table but no, you would rather get rejected by the old man who drinks alone. at one point even the bartenders started to think that you two were together which logan quickly shut down.

"c'mon, at least let me pretend that i'm yours," you whine, swirling around your second fruity drink tonight.

"you don't want to 'be mine', kid," he said in a stern voice, similar to one you would use on a child who won't behave.

"aaand...why not?" you ask him, crossing your arms and already getting pissy. "don't gimme that bullshit about you being 'too old' either."

"has anyone ever told you that you're-"

"pretty? hilarious? tight? yeah, a few times actually."

logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. he tries to give you some sympathy but there's only so many times that you can burn your hand on the stove until you learn your lesson.

"look, cherry..." logan sets his glass down. you adored when he called you, cherry because that meant he was paying attention to you and what you drank, always having to top it off with a cherry. "i'm probably your grandfather's age-"

"don't care." you interrupt him, leaning forward to stare into his eyes and run a hand through his hair. "your grey hair is so hot, lo. should let me pull on it sometime."

logan was finding it more difficult to resist you. almost letting out a groan when you pull slightly. logan could smell your arousal forming; clouding his vision.

"why don't you throw your panties in someone else's direction, huh? i'm sure those boys over there wouldn't mind." logan snarls, getting fed up with your attitude.

it wasn't that he didn't find you attractive, quite the opposite really. maybe if he was younger or you were older then he wouldn't mind your flirty personality so much but that's not the way that the world works. logan is -whether or not he wants to admit it- old and he didn't have time to put up with your whiney shit.

"okay." you shrug, getting up from the barstool.

logan doesn't believe that you'll actually go talk to those boys. in one minute your ass will be back here annoying him. he was sure of it.

then ten minutes passed and giggles were still falling from your lips. nothing the guys said was actually funny but you played it up to look better. there was one guy who you actually didn't mind talking to; both of you went to the same college and shared the same major. for a second, you'd completely forgotten about the man burning holes into your side.

the two of you talked for a while, exchanging stories while you leaned against the pool table in your tiny cut-off shorts. logan watched those boys gawk at you; staring everywhere but your face.

"i know right! her class was horrible! all she did was-" your words fell short when someone grabbed your upper arm, attempting to pull you away from the guy, who you think his name was josh, or john, or jake? you couldn't really remember and you definitely didn't care.

"c'mon kid, i'll give you a ride home." logan growled in your ear.

"oh, it's okay!" you chirp like a little bird at him. "think i'll find another way home tonight."

it's just a facade, logan told himself. you were just trying to prove a point. always stubborn.

"i'm not messing 'round, kid-"

"leave her alone, old man." the kid interrupted, giving logan a push.

logan snarls, about to teach this boy a lesson but you are faster; heel-kicking him in the nuts. the boy hunched over, allowing you to be ear level with him.

"fuck off." you spit, angrily before walking away.

logan looked at you completely dumbfounded. he had no other choice than to follow you blindly outside of the bar. he found you leaning against his truck; under the dim street light, logan would've misplaced you for some angelic figure.

"mind takin' me home, lo?" you ask him, for once not acting like some horny little rabbit towards him.

he nods, fishing out his keys. you give him directions to your apartment. the silence in the car makes you think logan's mad at you for real this time. you pushed it too far, embarrassing him and yourself this time. logan wasn't this dirty old perv who would actually give you the time of day, and maybe it was time for you to face that reality.

"i just wanted to say sorry for everything." your voice is low and quiet. afraid logan won't even acknowledge you. "i know that i should've left you alone a long time ago. you wouldn't want someone like me anyway-"

the car came to a dead halt in the driveway. logan turns to face you and you fear the worst; afraid he will yell at you.

"do you seriously think i wouldn't want you?" he asks. "you haven't left my mind since the day we bumped into each other at the bar and i spilled my whisky down your shirt. remember that, cherry?"

you nod, carefully. that day was imprinted in your mind. your friends and you were celebrating your birthday when logan bumped into you at the bar on accident. he frantically apologized for ruining your white shirt which you suggested for him to lick you clean. it had been so long since someone had flirted with him that he didn't know how to react.

"i'd never seen someone look so pretty and sticky at the same time." logan's hand gently caresses your cheek.

"could've seen it more often if you had fucked me like i wish you would've." the words fall out without pressure, making logan smirk. no matter how much you tried, you were desperate for him.

"you've got one dirty fuckin' mouth, cherry."

"it gets dirtier than that."

"hmm... don't know if that's possible."

"i could show you if you like."

the offer hangs hot in the truck. logan leans back into his seat, asking for forgiveness on what he's about to do. three light taps on his thigh and you crawl right into it.

"atta fuckin' girl, cherry." he groans as you grind against his crotch and bite on his neck.

"also for the record, the only person i want to have my panties is you, logan." you purred in his ear, referring back to your earlier conversation at the bar.

"i know, sweetheart. i know." he chuckles, watching you kick off your shorts and underwear.

once your back in his lap, you unbuckle his belt and wait eagerly for him to have his way with you. yet, logan doesn't offer anything.

"if you want to fuck an old man like me then you need to get used to doin' all the work, cherry." he says, half-joking. "can't keep up with an eager little thing like you."

you knew his game. to scare you off by acting like an asshole but you didn't mind doing the work to get what you want.

"fine with me." you smile, hands inching towards the glasses that hang on his button-down. "can't forget these, want you to see what you do to me."

logan groaned when you pulled him out of his pants, pumping him a few times before aligning him to your entrance. he was a bit bigger than you would've guessed, only making you wetter. just as you are about to sink down onto him, logan stops you, holding your hips in the air.

"fuck's wrong with you, cherry? you still want this, huh?" he taunts you, only getting a whine from you in response. "such a desperate little thing."

"p-p-please, logan." your hips wiggle against his tight grip. "want you... need you."

without another word, he lowers you down onto his length. both of you moan at the adjustment. your nails claw at logan's shoulders and you feel him twitch inside of you at the pain.

"happy now?" logan groaned, watching you bounce up and down on your own. his hands stayed on your waist, squeezing at the fat of your hips. "got what you fuckin' wanted."

"mhm..." you nod along dumbly agreeing to whatever he says. too busy trying to get his white button-down off of him. frustrated, you break open all the buttons.

once his chest was exposed, you litter it with kisses and dark bruises. for the first time, logan was happy that his healing abilities were slowing down so now he can admire your artwork longer. you grab both of his giant palms bringing one hand to your chest and taking the other thumb into your mouth, licking the pad of it before moving it down to your clit. tracing circles in a way that made your head fall back with your mouth wide open.

"do you always get this wet for older men or is it just for me, sweetheart?" logan asked, fist full of your hair.

"j-just you, lo..." you gasp.

logan's lips found your jaw, kissing up to your chin before capturing your lips. he wasn't a fan of fruity drinks but he loved the taste they left in your mouth. your backs against the wheel lazily and logan can tell that your orgasm is approaching.

"don't give up now, cherry." he teased. "you were doing so good, being a perfect little slut in my lap. what happened to her?"

you were too fucked out to say anything back and he knew it. logan finally took pity on you and started pistoling into you, listening to every pretty curse word that fell from your trembling lips.

"where do you want me, sweetheart?" logan grunts in your ear, pulling at the lobe as you come down from your high.

"inside, please."

that's all logan needed to hear to spill inside of you. the warmth indescribably flooded you. the two of you collapse in each other's arms, collecting yourself for a few minutes.

"told you, i'm a good fuck." you told him, looking up at him with messy hair and an unapologetic smile.

"didn't doubt you," he says, mirroring your smile as he moves some pieces of hair from your forehead. maybe logan could see you being a permanent person in his life.

"and to think..." your words drift off as you start to move again, feeling him get hard again inside of you. "we are just getting started."

[zaczenemiji]

Hello Dearest Writer! I have read the Shattered Pride that you wrote which I like it! and I hope you don't mind me requesting ^^. I wanted to request for a lil' bit angsty Kenji Sato x Reader, where kenji & reader have a heated argument that leads to reader with tears streaming down her face from kenji's hurtful words and attempted to remove her engagement ring and proposed to end things for the better and kenji got scared and regret everything he said, so he asked for forgiveness, convinced her to stay and makes it up for her. Thank you so much, Writer! I hope you have a nice day!

Second to None

Kenji Sato x Reader

Word Count: 2,076

Genre/Warning: Angst, Character Development, Drama, Established Long-Term Relationship, Heartbreak, hurt/Comfort, Redemption

Author’s Note: My works are becoming longer lately 🤧 Is that a good thing or not?

MASTERLIST | Shattered Pride

The reservation; a special menu and a gift sat neatly wrapped beside your plate. Your eyes dart to the door every few minutes, eagerly yet anxiously anticipating Kenji’s arrival.

The minutes turned into an hour, each second becoming agonizingly longer than the last. Your discomfort became noticeable to those who arrived before and after you.

Some couples came in pairs. Others also waited but the arrival of their beloveds was only half as long as the duration of your waiting.

The waiter approached with a sympathetic smile. “Would you like to order now, miss?” He asked gently.

"Not yet," you replied, forcing a smile. "He should be here any minute." You smoothed down your dress, avoiding any more contact with someone who isn’t Kenji.

“Are you on your way? Our reservation was at 7,” your message long showed as delivered, but still, no reply, and all your calls went straight to voicemail.

Your heart sank as the waiter returned, his expression more apologetic than before, "Shall I bring you a drink while you wait?"

"Yes, please," you answered, trying to mask your growing disappointment. You chose a glass of your favorite wine with Kenji, hoping the familiar taste would bring some comfort.

It was your fifth anniversary together, a milestone you had been looking forward to for weeks. Yet just like last year, it seemed like this would be a missed one too.

The first years of your relationship were pure bliss. The years that followed were less exciting but more comfortable. Yet from last year til today, some things were never the same.

At first, it felt like it was just because both of you had gotten used to each other. But as time progressed, it started seeming like your relationship was just a background—a television turned on not for the sake of watching, but for the sake of not being alone.

It started with last year’s missed anniversary; he said that it was an important out-of-town game that he couldn't skip. "I'm so sorry, the game went into extra innings and I missed the last train back. I'll be home late.”

He went home the next day.

You reminisced your first anniversary, a weekend getaway, a brief escape from your busy lives. The second, you had gone to a cozy little restaurant. The third had been a quiet dinner at home.

The fourth anniversary was marked by absence and loneliness; as this year’s. It wasn't the first time Kenji's baseball career had come between you, but you had hoped that anniversaries would be different.

You started to wonder if you would always come second to his dreams.

Another hour passed and the restaurant began to empty as the night grew older. "Kenji, I'm still here. Please call me." But still, there was no response.

Finally, your phone buzzed, "I'm so sorry, practice ran late and then we had a team meeting. I’ll try to get there as soon as I can."

You stared at the message, a tear slipping down your cheek. You heard similar apologies countless times before, each one chipping away at your patience and hope.

You signaled the waiter and asked for the check. You couldn't sit there any longer and pretend that everything was fine.

You walked out into the cool night, clutching the small gift you had brought for Kenji. The streets were quiet, the city's usual buzz dulled by the lateness of the hour.

You felt a profound loneliness, one that wasn't just about this night but about the accumulation of missed moments and broken promises.

When you finally got home, the flat was dark. You placed the untouched gift on the table and changed into more comfortable clothes.

You were too drained, emotionally, to even wait for Kenji in case he’d come over. You lay down on your bed, more than willing to sleep off the pain you just can’t get used to.

As your consciousness was being tugged to sleep, your phone buzzed again. It was Kenji, calling. And for the first time, you decided to put yourself first and slept.

Morning came and you sat at the dining table, a half-empty glass of wine in front of you. It was far too early to be drinking, but the remnants of last night's disappointment and loneliness still clung to you, and you needed something to numb the ache.

You swirled the wine in your glass, your mind replaying the evening over and over. The beautifully wrapped gift lay discarded on the coffee table.

You immediately slept last night but somehow, you hoped that Kenji would walk through the door with some grand gesture, some sign that he valued your relationship as much as she did. But he never came.

The sound of the key turning in the lock pulled you from your thoughts. Kenji walked in, looking exhausted and worn. His eyes immediately found yours, and he saw the wine glass in your hand.

"You're drinking this early?" he asked, concern laced with surprise. You didn't respond, just took another sip.

The silence was heavy, filled with all the words you wanted to say but didn't know how to begin. You set the glass down and met his gaze.

"Do you even realize what day it was yesterday, Kenji?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Of course, I do. I'm so sorry. Practice ran late and then there was an unexpected team meeting. I—“

"You always have an excuse,” You cut him off, your voice rising. “Do you know how many times I've heard 'practice ran late' or 'there was a meeting’? I'm tired of it!"

"I know," he said, trying to calm you down. "I really wanted to be here, but you know how important baseball is to me."

"And what about me, Kenji? Am I not important to you?" you snapped, tears welling up in your eyes. "I've sacrificed everything for you! I left my career, my family, my friends, everything to come to Japan and support you! And for what? To be stood up on our anniversary again?"

His face tightened, "It's not like that. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to come with me."

You took a step back, your voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it's my fault now?” You asked. “I chose to support you because I believed in us. But it feels like I'm the only one making sacrifices here."

"That's not fair," he retorted, frustration creeping into his tone. "I work hard for us. I'm trying to build a future for us."

"But at what cost, Kenji?" you shot back. "Every time I need you, you're not there. Every important moment, every milestone, you're always somewhere else. Do you even understand how lonely that is?"

He ran a hand through his hair, struggling to find the right words, "I'm doing my best. It's just... baseball is my dream. I can't give that up."

"And what about my dreams?" you cried, your voice breaking. "I had a career I loved, a life I was proud of! I gave all that up for you, believing that you would be there for me, that we would support each other. But it feels like I'm the only one who gave anything up!”

He took a deep breath, his own anger rising. "I never asked you to give up your career!” He said. “You made that choice!”

Your eyes widened in shock and pain. "I made that choice because I loved you—because I thought we were building a life together,” you said, voice softening and heart breaking. “But it seems like I'm the only one who sees it that way."

There was a long silence as you two stared at each other, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Slowly, you reached for your engagement ring, your hands shaking.

"What are you doing?" Kenji asked, panic creeping into his voice.

You struggled to remove the ring, tears streaming down your face. "Maybe we're fooling ourselves, Kenji,” you said in between sobs. “Maybe this isn't working. I can't keep feeling like I'm second to your career. Maybe it's better if we end this now."

His heart raced, panic surged through him, and his voice trembled with desperation. "No, please don't," he said, stepping closer, his hands reaching out but hesitating to touch you. "I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean it. I love you, and I can't lose you."

You looked at him, the ring held loosely in your hand. "Do you really love me, Kenji?” You asked. “Or do you love the idea of me being here, waiting for you, always understanding and never complaining?"

He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. "I love you. I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. But I promise I'll do better. Just please, don't leave me."

His eyes filled with tears as he dropped to his knees in front of you, the weight of his regret crashing down on him. "I love you," he said, his voice breaking. "I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. Every time I chose baseball over you, I was wrong. I see that now.”

“Please, don't take off that ring. Don't leave me,” he pleased. “I can't imagine my life without you."

You looked down at him, your own tears blurring your vision, “How can I believe you, Kenji?"

He reached out, taking her hands in his and holding them tightly. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you,” he said. “I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you're the most important thing in my life. I'll talk to my coach, I'll cut back on practice—anything. Just please, give me one more chance."

You hesitated, the pain and love warring within you. His eyes were filled with genuine fear and remorse, and you could feel his hands trembling. "One more chance, Kenji,” you said. “But things have to change. I can't keep feeling like this."

He nodded fervently, pulling you into a tight embrace, his heart pounding with a mix of relief and fear. "I promise, things will change,” he said. “I'll make it up to you, I swear. I love you more than anything. Please, believe me."

The next morning, Kenji came over early and made you breakfast, a small but heartfelt gesture to start making amends. He took the morning off practice and thought of having breakfast together.

Over the next few weeks, Kenji made noticeable changes. He began to prioritize your time together, making sure to balance his demanding baseball schedule with moments that were just for you two.

One evening, as you sat on the couch watching a movie, Kenji turned to you with a serious expression, "I talked to a few people, and I found a way for you to continue your work here in Japan.”

You looked at him, curiosity and hope in your eyes, "What do you mean?"

“There are some production companies interested in meeting with you,” he said. “I want you to have your career back, to have something that's yours."

Tears welled up in your eyes, this time from gratitude and joy. "Kenji, that's... I don't know what to say. Thank you."

He took your hand, squeezing it gently. "I want you to be happy. I want us to build our lives together, supporting each other's dreams,” he said. “I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much you were sacrificing."

True to his word, Kenji began to make your relationship a priority. He surprised you with small dates, like picnics in the park or quiet dinners at home. He even started learning a bit of Japanese cuisine to cook your favorite meals.

Kenji made it a point to never miss another important moment, attending every event and celebration that mattered to you. He cheered you on as you restarted your career, eager to see you shine.

In the end, you both learned that love required effort and compromise from both sides. It wasn't always easy, but you faced your challenges together, knowing that your love was worth fighting for. And with each passing day, you both found yourselves more deeply in love, more committed to the life you were building together.

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[pascalislove]

COWBOY: GONG YOO! X F!READER

summary: Their constant disputes over the delimitation of their lands led them to a moment of weakness in which, between insults and pushing, they found themselves devouring each other.

warnings: MINORS ID (18+) language, graphic smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you touch it!), creampie, piv.

The sun burned over the vast lands of the Gong family, painting the fields in a golden glow. In the distance, the silhouette of a lone rider loomed against the horizon, moving with the dexterity of someone who had been born and raised in the saddle. Gong Yoo, the eldest son of the Gongs, walked forward with his usual hardened expression, the brim of his black hat shading his sharp eyes. His worn leather boots banged against the stirrup with every movement of the horse, his frown signaling that he was in a bad mood.

And he was right to be.

In the distance, right on the line where his lands ended and those of the Lees began, he saw a familiar figure: a short but imposing woman, mounted on a black steed, staring at him boldly. Lee Y/N

—Damn you, Gong Yoo! —she shouted, making her horse trot a few meters ahead.— I told you not to put a single pole on this part of the land!

Gong Yoo sighed heavily. That woman's mouth had no rest.

—“And I told you that this fence goes here, Y/N,” he replied in a deep voice, dismounting in a single agile movement. He took off his leather gloves and tucked them into his belt. "It is my father's order. If you want to argue, do it with him."

—Your father is a stubborn old man, just like you,— she snapped, dismounting with a speed that made it clear that she was not a fragile lady. His dark leather riding jean shook in the wind.—I won't let you steal more land than you already have.

—"We're not stealing anything, woman," he responded with forced patience."But if you want to fight, go ahead".

Y/N, without hesitation, threw a punch straight at his shoulder. It wasn't the first time they had fought, and he knew it. However, this time, instead of moving away or stopping her, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him.

—Let go of me, you bastard,—she mumbled, struggling, but Gong Yoo only held her tighter.

—“Stop making a fuss,” he murmured, his face inches from hers.—"If they see us together like this, they're going to get suspicious".

Y/N trembled. Not from fear, but from rage. But also something deeper. Something they never said out loud.

Since that day, when they were younger and found themselves arguing near the river, their relationship had changed forever. She remembered it clearly: him yelling at her to stop meddling in his affairs, her throwing a rock at him that barely missed his arm. Gong Yoo, furious, had cornered her against a tree. His words, as always, turned into insults until neither of them could remain silent anymore. They didn't know how or when, but their mouths met in a kiss as furious as their hatred.

After that, there was no turning back. From that day on, every time they argued, every time they saw each other on the outskirts of their land, they ended up the same. Between sighs and hurried caresses, tangled in the grass or in the abandoned cabin that only they knew, among the shadows of the forest. They never talked about what they did. They never mentioned it afterwards. According to them, it wasn't love. But the problem was that they couldn't stop doing it.

—“I'm going to put up the fence, Y/N,” he said firmly, returning to the present. "I don't care how much you scream".

—You're a fucking Gong,— she spat, but her voice sounded weaker than she intended.

—"And you are a stubborn Lee".

They remained silent. They were both breathing heavily, as if they had just run at full speed across the field. Y/N clenched her fists. I knew what was coming next. The same as always. Gong Yoo let go of her, but instead of walking away, he brought a hand to her chin and forced her to look at him. Y/N felt like her heart was beating too fast. She hated the way he looked at her. She hated how her body responded to him without her being able to stop it.

—"See you at the cabin," he murmured.

And without further ado he let her go and mounted his horse. Y/N stood there, cursing him with her mouth but not her heart.

Hours later, as the sun began to set behind the mountains, the small cabin on the hill became their meeting point once again.

His lips were already on yours before he registered what was happening, his hand settling around her waist pulling her towards him as the two of them tore each other's clothes off.

Y/N stepped away for a moment, panting. Without saying a word, he quickly hooked his hands behind her knees and wrapped his legs around her waist, securing her firmly against his chest before slowly lowering her onto the cabin bed, his hand moving down to her butt and giving it a gentle squeeze.

His hair was messy as he fumbled with his belt buckle to unbutton his jeans, slide them down his legs, and kick them to the ground.

Y/N's fingers played with the buttons of her jeans as she began to undress as well. He could see a tent forming in his boxers, and he found himself struggling to wait as she finished removing her clothes until she was stripped to her lace lingerie and climbed onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

A low moan escaped his chest, his hands holding her hips down over his crotch to get some sort of friction.

He sighed, letting his head fall back on the bed as Y/N began to move her hips she still wanted to torture him some more, she could tell he was impatient and eager to feel her.

—"Do it now," he said with a hoarse voice.

She smiled and didn't hesitate to pull the crotch of her panties to the side and float above him momentarily before finally sinking.

A low moan escaped his chest, small gasps falling from his mouth as he held her gaze with his own, his hips slowly falling into a comfortable rhythm onto her lap. The grip around her waist grew tighter, his fingers digging into her skin, sure to leave a mark.

—“Fuck, you feel so good,” he told you, as his hand moved up her back to pull her closer to him, his forehead falling on her collarbone as he continued to move. The heat of his skin enveloped her, increasing the pleasure that was growing ever greater in her stomach. She ran her fingers through his hair and gave it a good tug, earning a moan in his chest.

Breathless and overwhelmed by the man beneath her. Her hips began to lose control as he secured his muscular arm around her and began ramming his hips into her, fucking her into oblivion as she began to feel her high take over.

—Don't stop,—she said between lascivious moans. Her words seemed to push him over the edge, his pace stopping as he stood up from the couch with her legs still wrapped around him and laid her down, before beginning his movements at a faster, harder pace.

—"Do you like it when I fuck you like that?" —he growled in her ear, pressing his body against hers with so much passion and lust that her brain was foggy. He could feel her heart pounding against her chest, her pleasurable moans invading her brain. Y/N's hands clawed at his toned back, her nails tracing his skin and leaving red marks in their wake.

—God, I'm going to cum,— she moaned, and her head fell back onto his shoulder.

His hips slamming into hers recklessly as the two of them reached their point together as one, a feeling of euphoria exploding in their breasts mixed with their cries of pleasure.

The warm feeling of his release filling you left you entranced, the sticky substance beginning to ooze out of her and stain the inside of your thighs.

Her hips began to calm and her chest began to rise and fall heavily, tired and pleased as she lay beneath him lazily.

—Shit,—Y/N laughed softly, stroking Gong Yoo’s firm bicep, which was next to her head, with her fingertips.

He looked at her with a wide smile and heavy eyes, half-lidded with fatigue and pleasure. She had never seen a more beautiful sight than him in that moment: his bare chest, his dark hair, his warm skin against hers. Something he hadn't even allowed himself to dream about. Gong Yoo let out a low, hoarse laugh.

—"Yes," he answered in a low whisper. —"Fuck".

I felt the need to tell him everything. To confess to her that he was fucking lost for her, that since the first time he saw her at the Lee ranch, with that defiant attitude and those eyes shining with rage, he had not been able to get her out of his head. That every time he touched her, her world shook. But I wouldn't do it. I shouldn't have. Y/N leaned in slightly and rested her palm on his cheek, running her thumb along his jawline.

—“We should definitely argue a lot more often,” Gong Yoo murmured with a lazy smile. She smiled sideways.

—Yes,—she whispered, running soft caresses over him face.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, tangled in each other's warmth, until Y/N sighed and moved her hand away.

—I have to go,—she said quietly, although she didn't really want to.

Gong Yoo looked at her for a moment before nodding.

-"Alright"

They separated slowly, each dressing without rushing too much. There was a strange calm in the air, as if what they had just done wasn't some dirty secret, but something as natural as breathing. Y/N adjusted her shirt and put on her hat, while he adjusted his and stretched his muscles before opening the door.

Night had already completely fallen, covering the field with long shadows and the murmur of crickets. Y/N climbed onto her horse, as did Gong Yoo, and they looked at each other one last time before saying goodbye.

—Until next time, Gong Yoo.

—Until next time, Y/N. Without further words, each one took their way back.

✦ ✦ ✦

When Gong Yoo arrived home, he dismounted silently and let one of the workers take his horse to the stable. He walked with a firm step towards the entrance, but as soon as he set foot inside, his mother's voice stopped him.

—Where were you? —Mrs. Gong asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gong Yoo kept his face impassive and calmly took off his hat.

—"Riding through the lands," he answered simply.

His mother looked at him for a moment, searching for any sign of lying, but finally she just sighed and nodded.

—Go rest. Tomorrow there is work.

—"Yes, mother".

Without further ado, Gong Yoo walked up the stairs and entered his room, closing the door behind him. He fell onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, a fleeting smile on his lips.

✦ ✦ ✦

Y/N dismounted near the stable and walked to the main house. As soon as she stepped foot on the porch, her older sister intercepted her with her arms crossed.

—Where were you?

Y/N hid any hint of emotion on her face and shrugged.

—Strolling.

Her sister frowned, but did not insist.

—Tomorrow dad will want us to check the cattle early. Don't sleep late.

—I know.

Without waiting any longer, Y/N entered her room and closed the door carefully. He leaned his back against the wood and exhaled slowly.

Tomorrow they would be enemies again.

Tomorrow they would fight again.

Tomorrow they would look for excuses to cross each other's paths.

And at some point, they would find a way to see each other again.

As always, no promises. No confessions. Just the touch of their bodies and the desire hidden in the darkness.

Gong yoo cowboy provoked things in me🫦, tell me if you like it🫶

MASTERLIST

[petersasteria]

No Way - G Dragon/Kwon Ji-Yong

Pairing: asshole!GD x Fem!Reader Summary: He wants a divorce

A/N: Thank you all so much for showing love to my first GD fic! As requested, part 2 is in the works! For the meantime, here's another GD fic. Lmk if you want to be in my GD taglist <3

my other gd fic

"I want a divorce."

As soon as those words came out of his mouth, your heart sank and your jaw dropped. After 6 years of marriage and one daughter together, you'd think he'd be satisfied. Alas, you were wrong.

You stared at him, gobsmacked by the audacity he had to ask that of you. What surprised you was his nonchalance.

You were quietly reading a novel in your living room when he said that. You just brought your daughter to school, finished your household chores, and you just baked a nice batch of chocolate chip cookies, letting it cool down in the kitchen. As you turned your page to the next chapter of your book, you heard the footsteps of your husband emerging from your shared bedroom.

You looked up with a soft smile on your face, taking in his features. Ji-yong has always been really handsome. You looked at him from head to toe. His hair was tousled the right way, his skin was smooth, his feet were clad in fuzzy socks protecting them from the cold floor, and his pajama set was very cute on him. His face, although tired-looking, still held such an effect on you. He looked dangerous, but innocent at the same time.

Just as you were admiring him, he said those words.

"I want a divorce."

"Why?" was all you said. You didn't understand. Everything was going swell.

He looked at you with no remorse and shrugged, "Found someone else. I realized she was more interesting than you, more attractive too. You changed when we had our daughter."

You scoffed in disbelief and shook your head. You were speechless. You stared at each other for a moment before you stood up and walked to the kitchen. He followed behind you.

"So? Are we finalizing things or what?" He asked, clearly wanting to pester you about the divorce. "I've spoken to my lawyer already. It shouldn't be complicated if you cooperate-"

You cut him off as you put the cookies you baked in your daughter's cookie jar, "We're not finalizing shit until I say so. You're the one who pestered me about this, so we're not doing anything until I give a go signal, Kwon Ji-yong."

"You say you've spoken to a lawyer? Good for you, but I don't give a shit. You can't just end our marriage after meeting someone new."

"Yes, I can. I'm your husband."

"And I'm your WIFE, Ji-yong."

You looked at each other intently. He was honestly surprised that you didn't back down easily. He was so used to getting what he wanted from you that it surprised him that he didn't get his way this time.

"I need space. You can stay in your office. I'll stay out here and clear my mind." You said curtly, before moving past him, shoving his shoulder as you made your way back to your comfy position on the couch. He stumbled back a little bit and chuckled to himself in frustration. He ran a hand through his hair and glanced at the cookie jar you just filled up. He grabbed it and was about to open it when you shouted, "Don't even think about it, Kwon Ji-yong!"

"How do you even know what I'm about to do?!" He shouted back as he carefully put the glass cookie jar back in its place.

"I'm your wife, stupid." You looked back at him as you picked your book up. "And I know you so well that's why it saddens me that you want to replace me with someone who doesn't know you at all."

The house was silent by the time your daughter came back from school. You weren't in the right mental and emotional state to pick up your daughter, so you kindly asked Daesung to pick her up before you walked out of your apartment to buy dinner, not wanting to cook anymore.

By the time you got home, Ji-yong, Daesung, and your daughter were in the living room. You looked at them from afar and smiled. Your daughter was performing a new dance she learned at school as Daesung and Ji-yong cheered for her.

"Eomma!" your daughter grinned as she ran towards you to give you a tight hug. If there was one thing right in your marriage, it was when you had your daughter. You kissed the top of her head and told her to watch tv in the living room. You didn't want her to see all the pettiness and drama.

Daesung smiled and said, "Hi, Y/N! Where've you been?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, where've you been?" Ji-yong smiled sweetly at you as he got up from his seat to give you a kiss on the lips. If he hadn't told you about the divorce, you'd believe this act of sweetness. Now, you knew he was just doing it to make you agree with the divorce.

"I went out and bought us dinner. I didn't feel like cooking." You shrugged and placed the food down on the dining table.

"Honey, you should've told me and I would've cooked." Ji-yong said in fake concern, quickly helping you setup.

Daesung got up from his seat and stared at both of you. "You guys are couple goals." He said lovingly. "It's really nice to see a couple who're still very much in love and involved."

"In love and involved?" Ji-yong asked.

Daesung nodded. "Yeah. You can't be involved without being in love and you can't be in love without being involved. They go hand in hand. Like how you're involved in helping Y/N set up the table. You wouldn't do that if you're not in love with her."

You knew it was casual, but you looked at Ji-yong and he just looked down and continued to help. "Um, let's eat!" You called.

After dinner, Daesung helped Ji-yong clean up as you got your daughter ready for bed. After tucking her in, Daesung left, leaving you and Ji-yong alone.

"I'll get ready for bed." You quietly said. He nodded and said, "I'll be in my office."

As you sat down on your shared bed, everything dawned on you. Kwon Ji-yong wasn't a perfect partner. He had many lapses, yet you chose to stay because your love for him waived off every shitty thing he did. You loved him and he's not going to make you go away easily.

With rage bubbling inside you, you stood up and marched to his office down the hall. You barged in and saw him FaceTiming with that girl he was going to replace you with. He was surprised to see you, to say the least. You closed the door behind you, marched towards him, ended the FaceTime, blocked and deleted her contact, and turned off the phone.

"What the fuck, Y/N?!" He shrieked.

"The answer is no. I don't want a divorce and we will never have one." You said calmly.

"Ji-yong, we've been together for a total of 12 years. 6 years as a couple and 6 years as husband and wife. You can't push me away that easily. In all our years together, I have been nothing but calm and collected despite all the things you did behind my back."

"You think I don't know everything you did? Late night calls? Late night texts? Coming home late? Coming home smelling like some other woman's cheap perfume? I'm not stupid. I know everything. I could've told the press, your family, your bandmates, and your agency, but I didn't. I have respect for you as a husband, Ji-yong. I'm just upset that you don't have respect for me."

"I-"

"No, you don't get to talk right now, Kwon." You snapped at him. "I've put up with your shit for 12 years and it's your time to listen to what I have to say. You never gave me a chance to speak, anyway."

"You actually think I'm crazy enough to allow you to leave me for some girl you met at a bar? That's not happening. No way. You seem to lack respect for me after giving you a daughter that you've always wanted. You can't just have a daughter and treat her mother like shit. You think you have the upper hand? You're wrong. I do. You think our daughter will stay with you after this whole debacle if I choose to push through with it? Absolutely not because you won't ever see her again."

"You think you'll win the divorce? On what grounds, hm? With our situation, it looks like you have the short end of the stick, honey. You'll lose this luxury apartment, you lose a lot of hard-earned money, you'll lose your fanbase, you'll lose the status you worked ever-so hard for, and you'll lose your family."

"What makes you so confident that you'll win, Y/N?"

You smirked, "I know all about those girls from years ago until now. One of them's from Jeju, one from Gangnam, three from Busan, and your current one is from Sejong, right? I know more than you think, Ji-yong. Don't ever underestimate me. I also know about the secret phone in your car. You even used your credit card to buy your new side piece new jewelry for Valentine's Day. Mind you, I got nothing. If anything, I should be divorcing you, but I choose not to because I don't want to ruin our family dynamic and despite what you think, I know deep down you still love me. You're just having a mid-life crisis."

"Now, the floor is yours." You said to him. You looked at him intently in the eyes and kneeled down in front of him as you grabbed both of his hands. "I'm on my knees now, so please tell me what you think I did wrong to deserve the divorce you're serving me."

"Before you say anything, let me remind you that I've been humble, loyal, I know the right time to speak and not speak, I swallow my pride when I'm wrong, I never manipulated you to get my way, I gave you everything you wanted from me, I never gave you an emotional heartache, I never hurt you mentally and physically. Ji-yong, I'm being reasonable here because I know I was, I am, and will always be a stand-up wife and partner you can count on and I know I have never let you down."

"If you can tell me a single thing I've done to cause you such intense harm, then I'll go." You finished.

Ji-yong was stunned. He didn't know what to say at all. You were right about everything, after all. He was just too full of pride to admit. it. He stayed quiet.

"What? Cat got your tongue? You've got nothing to say? Nothing that you can think of?" You chuckled lightly before standing up and letting go of his hands.

"I'm not going away, Ji-yong. If you think you can get rid of me easily, you're mistaken. You chose me to be your wife and I know you chose me for a reason. I meant what I said in our vows. Now, it's time for you to stop pretending you hate my guts enough to leave me and it's time for you to step-up and be a man of his word."

You walked towards the door and stopped before saying, "If you're ready to stop with this divorce nonsense, I'll be in our bed welcoming you with open arms, ready to forget about this and move on. If you wish, I'd happily go to marriage counseling, but I will not stand for a divorce, especially if there's no solid ground for you to work against me. Good night, Kwon Ji-yong."

-

A/N: I hope you all liked it!

[joonsytip]

Say Don't Go || Wonwoo

Synopsis: You say you love him but Wonwoo says nothing back.

Word Count: 0.7k

A/N: Just one of my self indulging thoughts.

Sequels : So It Goes | All Too Well

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

"I like you, a lot. I have had feelings for you since the university days. Been quite a few years."

Silence looms upon the atmosphere. There's a very neutral expression on Wonwoo's face, he isn't surprised.

Your grip on the clutch tightens, "Seems like you already know and you're not gonna say anything now?"

Wonwoo stares at you unwavering. He asks, "What do you expect me to say? That I like you as well?"

"Don't you?", you step forward, closing the gap between you two, "Tell me I read the signs wrong."

There's a slight change in his demeanor, his eyes flash something you should never witness so he looks down in the pretense of fixing the tie.

"Your family consists of conglomerates including yourself. I'm just a secretary who works for Seungcheol. Both him and his wife are your friends. You all belong to the same circle, I don't.", Wonwoo painfully narrates.

"It doesn't matter, as long as you reciprocate my feelings.", your voice falters, "Please think through."

"Easy for you to say. Do you even know how hard it is for people like me who aren't born rich? People already think I'm leaching off Seungcheol and if we get together there's no end to it. I'm used to it but you won't be able to take it even for a day because you're sensitive."

"If you know that I'm sensitive then why are you hurting me now?"

"It's better to get hurt now then to regret it later. You're not a teenager anymore, stop acting like one.", his words cut sharp at you.

"If all that matters to you then what about my feelings? It seems that they're the only ones those doesn't matter.", you wipe the tears streaming down your face, "Do you even know how hard it was for me to muster up the courage to be here. I am so used to liking you in silence that it made me back out every time I thought of confessing to you."

There's nothing Wonwoo wants but to run to you, engulfing you in his embrace. He wants to kiss away your tears, he wants to murmur sweet nothings in your ears.

He has always been wary of his financial background, more because he only has a brother who's sick and hospitalized. He's scared because he's seen the conspiracy Seungcheol's father plotted against his wife making them part ways back then even though she herself is a heiress. He has seen his friends suffering to no extent. To him rich people are selfish and wicked.

He couldn't afford to hurt you, doesn't want to fall prey to the rich and influential when there's already a lot on his plate. So he resorts to holding himself back, like he always has.

"Don't you like me? I know you do..."

Wonwoo exhales heavily, "No, I don't like you. Sorry if I have ever given you mixed signals but that was never my intention."

"Don't do this please because I'm serious, I might be in love with you--"

"You should leave.", he speaks not looking in your eyes, "There's no point having a baseless conversation."

"Are you sure? Because I'd stay forever if you say don't go."

"Just go Y/N. And please don't do this ever again. It was very uncomfortable for me."

You sniffle and nod your head understanding, "I'm sorry, just forget that this ever happened."

Just as you turn and make way to head out, all the memories flashes. The butterflies in his stomach when you both had teamed up for a fest event in university. When you smiled so bright at him always making his heart flutter. When at every party he searched for you because you're the reason he attended those in first place . When your drunk self bravely clung on his arm pulling him close and leaning on his shoulder at the seashore in comfortable silence while others drenched themselves in the waters at a spontaneous trip. You're his serotonin boast, you're his paradise in gloom. But he would never say the truth, never say out loud that it's not only you but he might love you as well.

After he ensures you're out of his sight, faraway, he collapses on the ground, gasps in pain. The glass falls from his face breaking in pieces like his heart is, filled with sheeting cracks. He has become a terrible mess.

"I like you too, Y/N.", he confesses in tears to the void which you had occupied till few moments earlier.

But you're not there to listen.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 4

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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My eyes closed as I felt a push that made me fall and when the counter stopped, my hands could only go to my face in fear, no shot hit me and a hand touched my shoulder making me jump scared.

Calm down, are you safe - Dae-Ho spoke in a low voice making my hands go down slowly looking around - Did I hurt you? Sorry if I pushed you too hard

I'm fine - I looked at him barely with agitated breathing while Jung-Bae looked at me worried - thanks

You don't have to thank me, why did they leave you outside? I thought they were your friends - Dae-Ho helped me up pretending to be upset

They didn't kick me out, I gave my place to Geum-Ja, she deserved that place more than me - I looked at him sighing annoyed feeling the intention of his comments

You are very brave girl, I couldn't have done it - Jung-Bae looked at me touching his chest in a sign of concern - the good thing is that we were able to find you in time and you are here

As soon as I nodded I approached the small gap in the door, it was my chance to do it because I knew that Hyun-Ju would never let me do it if I was with her.

Standing on my toes to reach the little open space in the door, I could see how they picked up the bodies, one by one putting them in black boxes decorated with pink bows and they took them away piled up without caring.

The sound of the door ringing was my signal to run out of there, looking around at unfamiliar faces while hearing murmurs and laughter from those who were crazy, I walked through the people not caring if I pushed anyone until in the distance I could see Yong-Sik and Geum-Ja hugging each other, behind them Hyun-Ju standing looking at the floor while wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater.

HYUN-JU - I screamed with all the air left in my lungs making everyone turn their heads towards me as I ran splashing blood with my feet from every bloody puddle I crossed - Hyun-Ju!!

Her eyes widened, her legs buckled as she ran and she could barely hold herself up when I collided with her in a hug and her arms surrounded my body so tightly that it made my bones ache

Are you okay? Did they hurt you? - her hands took my face looking at me while I trembled - did they do something to you?

No, no I…I'm fine - I smiled at her taking her hand looking at her dark eyes

Don't do that again, you heard me? Never do something as stupid as that again, they could have killed you, I told you to stay by my side and I want you to always be there, understood? - her chest rose and fell breathing heavily while her lips trembled and her eyes mixed between fear and anger stared at me without letting go of my face

I understood..- I gave her a slight smile nodding

My little one…are you okay - Geum-Ja ran slowly hugging me tightly - you shouldn't have done that for an old woman like me, they could have hurt you

That doesn't matter, we're fine okay?..- I smiled taking her hand looking at the others- come on…we have to go to the platform

This time we walked carefully, as if slipping on the blood was the worst thing that could happen to us and ruined our green outfit.

This time don't separate from me, understood? - Hyun-Ju took my hand again standing next to me, this time interlacing her fingers with mine while I just nodded slowly looking at our hands nervously

The children's song started once again, the platform spun and I, like everyone else, looked around looking for the closest door to run to as soon as the game stopped

''2'' the speaker spoke making everyone run

Run, run! - Hyun-Ju pulled my arm almost tearing it off my body as she ran with giant steps compared to mine, pushing anyone in front of us until she reached a green door that she opened with such force that it seemed to rip it off the hinges and then made us enter leaning her back against the door to prevent anyone from opening it - we did it…

I just nodded tiredly, taking a breath as I leaned on my knees trying not to faint

Y/N..who helped you last round? - she looked at me curiously after a couple of minutes in complete silence

Dae-Ho and… Jung-Bae - I looked at her sitting on the floor - the truth is I still don't know how they did it, I just felt a push and when I opened my eyes I was inside

I'm sure it was Dae-Ho… - she looked at me smiling slightly and then looked at the floor and when she heard the door lock and the shots she quickly walked away sitting next to me hugging her knees

Do you forgive me for… leaving the room?.. - I looked at her timidly getting closer trying to see her face between the strands of her hair

I'm not upset… it's just that… I got scared okay? One second you were by my side and the next you ran away without saying anything…

I did it for Geum-Ja I…

I know you did it for her and that's very brave but how was I supposed to stay here without you? -she looked at me again with her eyes annoyed but full of something that I didn't want to confuse with love- if they killed you how was I supposed to stay in this damn place if they took away the only thing I have?

The.. only thing you have?..- I looked at her curiously while she lowered her head again hiding her face between locks of hair

Nothing… I didn't say anything…

Yes you said it.. what do you mean by that Hyun-Ju?.. what do you mean by…

that you are the only reason why my heart has found meaning to keep living… that I'm not supposed to feel this way because I know that you will never feel the same for me but I do and I feel selfish for that do you understand? - her tears ran slowly down her cheeks with her lip trembling

You're even more selfish by keeping those feelings to yourself…because then…I would have never known that you feel the same way I feel about you

No…don't say that just because I'm crying - she give a small laugh wiping her tears

Then stop crying and say it again…I like you Hyun-Ju and if that's wrong I think it's worse that we're doing this for money…don't you think? - I smiled at her trying to break the tension making her laugh again while wiping her face looking at me embarrassed with her cheeks slightly flushed

Me too…I like you…- she smile shaking her head looking at the floor- it's very stupid no? I went through all this transition to end up falling in love with a girl..

It's not stupid… if you feel that being a woman is what you are, I don't see anything wrong with you being happy, anyway we won't be the first girls to form a nice couple - I smiled at her taking her hand leaning on her arm closing my eyes feeling peace among so much chaos

When we go out, think twice before making the decision to go home, okay? - her cheek rested on my head sighing calmly

Only if you take me to see Thailand…

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So…if you're a girl…and she's a girl…you're…

Mom!…Shut up already - Yong-Sik looked at her sadly while Hyun-Ju and I laughed looking at the confused woman - that's not a question, it's disrespectful

It's just a question, you spoiled brat, don't you dare tell me to shut up, I'm your mother - Geum-Ja looked at him angrily hitting his arm making him fall on the mattress of his bed

We just like each other - I smiled at her crossing my legs on the mattress sitting next to Hyun-Ju

Yes but…how do you like her? She's not a woman yet, but she's not a man either…it's like in between, you know…what part of Hyun-Ju do you like? -The curious woman looked at me trying to figure out my head making me smile

Well…

Y/N..-Dae-Ho's voice made us look towards the stairs as he approached us rubbing his hands - Hello..everyone - the boy smiled embarrassed - I just came to ask if you were okay, it's just that after the last round I couldn't find you anymore..and I was curious..

I'm fine..thanks - I smiled barely, being kind for the act of having helped me

Well, I'm glad -he smiled looking at the floor without stopping rubbing his hands- if you're still a little hungry, we have some Gimbap if you want to come

She's fine - Hyun-Ju raised her voice making both of them look into each other's eyes

Yes, go back to your bed son, she's fine Hyun-Ju is taking good care of her girl -Geum-Ja smiled innocently making Dae-Ho clench his jaw nodding looking Hyun-Ju in the eyes before turning around and going back to his team

Mom…you don't know how to keep your mouth shut again - Yong-Sik sighed covering his face sighing annoyed

It wasn't long before we heard screams and commotion coming from the bathroom and after a while a song would play on the speakers followed by a voice

''These are the eliminated players, player 230, player 268, player 299, player 331 and player 401 eliminated''

What happened? - Geum-Ja looked at us without understanding as did everyone around who looked at each other

The bathroom doors opened, two soldiers entered followed by players covered in blood, some walking with difficulty, Nam-Gyu making a fuss while arguing between both teams making us all get out of our beds to do a count again

Hyun-Ju..-I looked at her with fear squeezing her arm- I don't have a good feeling

Me neither..but don't worry nothing bad is going to happen to you - she looked at me giving me a fake smile while we stood in the crowd of team X

Gi-Hun counted, over and over again making sure not to lose any player, in the end we had only lost 2 people and we were 1 ahead of team O and while he told us things about the previous game he also came up with a plan.

He talked about making a plan, defending ourselves because he knew that those from the other team would attack us and to get out unharmed we would have to hide under the beds, then when most of them were dead we would attack the soldiers taking their weapons and we would look for a way out.

His plan didn't make me feel more than that it was a suicide mission, how was it possible that we would overcome trained soldiers with loaded weapons, my mind only overthought and created catastrophic scenarios where we would all end up dead

Are you okay? - Hyun-Ju whispered in my ear bringing me out of the trance just making me nod - are you sure?

I don't think it's a good idea - I looked at her whispering without interrupting Gi-Hun and after a while and while the speaker announced that in 10 minutes the lights would go out each one decided to go to their bed, this time, we both decided to go to Hyun-Ju's bed that was lower than mine to make it easier for us to hide when the lights went out

Believe me, we'll be fine - She whispered taking my hand - you don't have to do anything, we'll just hide and when the guards come in I'll go with them for the weapons

Hyun-Ju… I don't need you to always protect me, just because I'm a woman you and them shouldn't take care of me from everything

They may do it because you're a woman, but I do it because you're my woman, right? - She looked at me making me feel those fireworks inside me again, it was the least appropriate moment and everything in my head sounded a thousand times more exaggerated than normal making me want to throw myself off the highest bed into the void

I… I have to confess something to you - I looked at her nervously sighing deeply - I… I grew up with two brothers, one of them is a soldier and they taught me how to shoot, maybe it's not the same compared to your experience but… if you need someone else I'll join you okay?

No… I won't let you go fight against soldiers, are you crazy? - She frowned again, a sign that she was getting upset

We went in together and we'll come out together, right? You said that I would never leave your side…

''Players, the lights will go out in 10..9..8..7..6…''

Hyun-Ju..-i sighed in fear, clenching her hand under the covers - If we don't survive tonight…

Stay calm, I promise… I… - it was now or never, in 5 seconds the lights would go out and if we were attacked there was the same chance of surviving or dying, the same chance of leaving together or never seeing her again, my head was spinning overthinking again trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be afraid, I wasn't afraid when I left that room to be shot, I shouldn't be afraid now.

My trembling hands took her face and as I closed my eyes my lips kissed hers leaving us both frozen

''5..4..3..2..1…''

I love you - I whispered barely separating from her without being able to look at her face because of the darkness around us

And I love you…let's go…

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We have an impostor…guess who?

Today i just write a little, my hands still hurting by the accident i have but i can't resist anymore, Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

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[strawberryblue-blog]

Stop talking and kiss me —Pedri González.

summary: a summer night walking on the beach and thousands of feelings about your relationship.

warnings: none. soft, super cute, cliche, young love, etc.

words count: +1.8k.

#SEXYNOTE: what is promised is a debt, here is a soft/cute imaginé of our beloved Pedri. More things will come soon 🤩💌

The gentle night breeze slipped between your bodies as your feet moved in rhythm on the sand. Your hands were tightly held as your listened to the waves gently crashing on the shore and admired the starry night above you. Your heart leaped with happiness in your chest as your boyfriend's laughter echoed in your ears; you had said something silly, but you couldn't remember; you had gotten lost in the softness of his laughter.

It was a typical summer night where you went for a walk after dinner, since Pedro lived near the beach and it had become almost a tradition to come here. According to him, living near the beach felt like being at home even though it was a bit far and you were starting to love this place.

After a long but enjoyable walk under the stars, laughing and talking, you approached a set of stone steps and sat down to rest for a bit. You had walked a good distance to get here, along the entire shore; now you deserved to rest a bit and admire the beauty of this place.

Particularly today, you felt free, joyful, and nostalgic, remembering every moment lived with your boyfriend Pedri, with whom you had become inseparable and strong together three years ago. Thinking about how much you had imagined being loved and cared for by someone and then you met Pedri. A smile spread across your lips as you remembered the first time you saw him at a mutual friend's birthday party, how handsome he seemed at that moment, knowing he was out of reach. Pedri was already becoming a great footballer by then and you knew you weren't a good match for him, since you were just a normal girl who lived a full life through her studies and work. You also remembered when your friend told you he was interested in you, the feeling of happiness and excitement it caused to know that he wanted to see you, it was so lovely and surprising. Or when he invited you to dinner for the first time, after getting your phone number from your friend. Your first kiss when he took you home after several dates without signals, when you thought he only wanted to be your friend, finally you could know that he didn't just want you as a friend. Or the first time he stayed over at your house, it was so cheesy and fun, your stayed for hours talking and laughing, you knew each other so well.

Everything had been magical since then. You trusted him so much, loved him so much. He was like your best friend in life, the right person written for you, everything was perfect as long as you were together. And you don't mean perfect completely, you had problems and usual things in couples but still knew how to resolve it and fix it.

A sigh escapes from your lips as you relive those images in your head and feel your chest fill with happiness.

"What are you thinking?" you hear him ask and move a little to see him.

Pedri smiles when he sees the sparkle in your eyes in the darkness of the night, making him ask curiously what it's about. His hand on your thighs, sitting on a large step before the sand, side by side, cuddling in the night.

"Nothing, just some memories" you murmur softly. He smiles again nostalgically and squeezes your leg gently.

His head turns to your forehead and he plants a soft kiss on your skin, making you shiver.

"About us?" he asks playfully. You nod a little. But you settle back into the hollow of his shoulder and neck while one of his hands wraps around your waist and hugs you tightly.

You had missed him these days, as he had traveled abroad to play and you had been very busy with your tasks. You did your best to always see each other, even though your schedules were tight. Always keeping hope and expectations to see each other again. In your free time, when you weren't in classes or at work and Pedri finished his training or when he was passing by.

"What were you thinking?" he insists as your continue in silence.

You're a little embarrassed to admit it, you've always been shy but you know Pedro is the person you trust the most, the man you've been in love with since you met him, the companion you chose to take on this adventure.

"About everything" you admit, pulling away from him a bit to straighten up and face him. "When we met, the first date, our first kiss..." you murmur, feeling your cheeks blush a light pink.

Your boyfriend smiles broadly as his hands now take place on your thighs.

"Our first kiss was kinda awkward..." he says with a chuckle as he remembers. You nod, joining in.

"It was weird and uncomfortable..." you agree with a grimace. "But it was great" you finish.

"It was the best day of my life" he says nostalgically and your stomach vibrates with butterflies. "Well, first it was when i met you, then it was when you agreed to go out with me, that was also the best day of my life... or when you agreed to go out with me again and then when we kissed again."

You burst into laughter hearing him. Pedri laughs with you and loves every moment of your shared time. From the first day to the last second elapsed.

Your hands surround his cheeks gently and you lean in to kiss his lips, slowly taking all the time to appreciate his touch, his hands slide down to your waist and anchor there while responding to your kiss warmly. It feels like the first time, so special, so exciting, so delicate.

You're so in love with Pedri that you can't help but feel the happiness in your heart that beats quickly, longing to have him always with you, feel his warmth, his love, his courage, all of him.

"What do you think if we travel for vacation?" he suddenly asked after separating. "The season ends in a week, and I want us to go somewhere, just you and me" he says with a particular sparkle in his eyes.

His voice mixed with the sounds of the waves running and crashing against the shore. The breeze blowing, background to its melody, the stars reflected in his eyes as small sparkles.

You can't believe his words. You're shocked and surprised.

"And your family?" you asked. "You have to go visit them after so long, you said you missed your mom..."

"You are my family too" he emphasized, interrupting you with a smile.

A shiver ran down your spine upon hearing him, and your hairs stood on end.

Family. It was such an immense word to say. So intimate and delicate. Was that what you were now? Your eyes welled up at the thought. I mean, Pedri was everything to you. He was your safe place, your place in the world, where you would return again and again without getting tired.

He seems very sure of his words that a small tear runs down your cheek.

"You are my family" he says again and his hands wipe away the tear, enveloping your cheeks.

You are so happy in this moment that you can't help but shed more tears, which Pedri takes care of cleaning with each spill. His smile is etched deep in your heart, and you want to shout with happiness.

"You are my family too, Pedri" you whisper sincerely. "You are what i love most in this world," you continue to say, and his smile widens.

"I love you so much, babe" he murmurs when his forehead is against yours.

Your hands clung to his neck, squeezing a little to bring him directly to your mouth. When his lips touched and Pedri pretended to join them but stopped the process.

"But then you have to go straight to home to see your parents" you scold him playfully.

"I promise, baby" he says quickly. "But you have to come with me" your heart flutters with love.

You nod agreeing. Now you bring him to your mouth and kiss him again. A soft touch but rhythmic entered their limbo of love, causing their hearts to begin beating together.

You loved the feeling of being kissed and loved by Pedro González so much. You were so in love with him.

You really couldn't imagine a life without him, it was as if you were destined to be together and you didn't believe in destiny. But here you are, caressing each other, kissing each other, feeling each other, as if tomorrow the world would end.

One of his hands went down to yours and took it, lifting it from his body to now stand up and give you a slight push, lifting you with him. His hands take you by the butt and back and carry you away somewhere

Confused, you watched his movements watching your sides and deciphering what was going on, you were being dragged to the beach.

"Pedri, wait!" you screamed desperately.

"Let's take a dip, babe," he says with a mischievous voice and a fun laugh.

"The water is freezing!" you shout but in vain, they are getting closer and closer to the shore and you cannot move. "You're crazy" you say again.

A mocking and fun smile appeared on Pedri's face, and when you least expected it, he released your legs. You fell standing inside the cold water, making you complain.

"It's too cold!" You complain like a child, making your boyfriend laugh. Pedri continues to push you towards the ocean, entering the surface.

The laughter is endless as he pushes you and tries to play with you while you defend yourself and also splash him. You start a clumsy war of splashes, kisses, and caresses while laughing.

When it's enough and they can't laugh anymore because their bellies hurt, their hands tangled in your waist, lifting you a little so you could hold on to his hips.

"You're so precious" he whispered, looking into your eyes.

Slowly, he began to walk out of the water, his words melting you away and you didn't even remember feeling the cold on your body; you were captivated by his gaze. Your eyes connected with his, speaking between them, lighting up and communicating.

"You have no idea what you make me feel, baby" he whispered again, pressing his fingers into your waist, making you tremble. "I want to have you by my side all day, i can't stop thinking about you when you're not with me, i don't want to let go of your hand when you have to leave, i just can't."

A faint smile touched your lips, your fingers quickly took his cheeks, caressing them. You were so full of happiness that you felt like you could faint at any moment; you were so satisfied with his love. You loved every part of him.

"I know, Pedri" you told him, leaning your forehead against his. "Because you make me feel the same, my love" you admit.

"You're the love of my life" his nose gently brushed against yours.

You can't help but feel your chest burn with feelings as his words echo in your mind. You give him a small kiss on the nose, as you watch him smile tenderly. You don't have to answer that because he knows that you are also the love of his life. Always it was.

"Stop talking and kiss me" you ask, amused, longing to feel his soft lips on yours again.

A smile remained on Pedri's face before his lips met yours again. The strong moonlight surrounded by thousands of sparkling stars now bore witness to the deep love that both radiated towards each other.

That warm and immense feeling that your hearts filled perfectly, complementing each other to form one and love each other for a lifetime.

[lazyalani]

| Michael Kaiser × F!Reader

| open ending, bittersweet, mixed signals, situationship, mihya doesn't know what to do, reader just wants him, oh shit toxic, a rollercoaster, impulsive writing, ooc, might be bad but might be good, fast pacing, idk, not proofread, wushu angst

| You're losing me

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

and i wouldn't marry me either

The clock read midnight yet here you are, still awake. It wasn't like it was uncommon for people to stay up so late, anyone could stay up all night watching tiktoks and reels, or playing games. It was just that you weren't exactly doing any of those, here you are, watching the ceiling, waiting for him. Always just waiting.

It's always like this, a never-ending cycle of cursing him, but then waiting, and then cursing him again, but then when he comes knocking again, you open up.

You've always been someone reliable when you're asked questions, especially ones about that bastard. Why is Michael Kaiser so good at soccer? Talent. Why is Michael Kaiser so popular with girls? Genetics and Money. Why is Michael Kaiser always on the news? Arrogance. Why does Michael Kaiser always has a say on something? Ego.

Why does he come to you instead of heading to his oh-so luxurious mansion he flawnted with his huge ego along with the piles of money on his account? That one, you couldn't answer.

You swear under your breath when you hear a knock.

And yet you let him in anyway.

a pathological people pleaser,

"Mien leibe, how are you, love?" He says with that sickly sweet smile on his face as he enters and puts his coat and training bag on the couch, a routine you've gotten used to.

The routine also included you just melting into his arms as he sinks in into your bed, enjoying a few moments of his ego ranting and then falling into silence before falling asleep.

But not today.

"Michael, why don't you go home for today?" You say as you turn your back on him, busying yourself with the fridge to avoid his stare.

He laughs and sits down on the couch. "Oh? What's this all of a sudden?" He crosses his legs, spreading his arms on the backrest.

You grip a drink on your hand, still having your back turned. "Just, you should go home."

Because the routine also included him leaving before you wake up, without anything, a note, or something to hold on to, and then proceeding to live out his career, his life, where you couldn't be, where you don't belong. Soccer, victory, celebrations, promotions, advertisements, brand deals, partnerships, modellings, media. Models and media.

who only wanted you to see her

You didn't even know where you stand in this glorious life of his. Why is he even here with you? Why is he sitting on this cheap couch instead of his throne like home? Why does he come to you instead of those models the media claim to be his girlfriend that changes every brand deal and sponsorships?

Why you?

But then it's hard to divert and change your thinking because it changes to Why doesn't he stay here with you? Why doesn't he say a word when he leaves? Why does he even leave? Why does he only come at night? Why does he not clear things up in the media? Why do you even want him to clear it up when you have nothing together? Why is he with those models?

Why not you?

and i'm fading thinking

do something, babe, say something,

He laughs it off. "I'm already here, you want me to leave again?" He snorts.

It wasn't his fault you were so insecure. It wasn't his fault you were being selfish. It wasn't his fault you were being demanding. It wasn't his fault you're assuming things. It isn't his fault because you knew those peaceful nights would eventually come to an end.

But then again, you were tired. So be selfish again, and so you want to stop and rest. You didn't want to play this mind game anymore, it was draining.

You can't fight a losing game. But it was humiliating to think that you were the only one fighting, just to still lose.

Somehow, you knew deep inside he had reasons. Reasons only the closest to his heart would understand.

This empire he was living in was something he built from a rock. The lavish and luxurious life he lived now was something not even the sun and moon could offer him, because this was a result of his blood and sweat. Nothing could ever come in between him and his most treasured gold, his empire, he cannot afford to lose it now. Not when he endured so much just to get to the top. You knew that.

And you were a threat to that.

You were something forbidden. A normal nobody who stood nothing against the world he belonged. You would ruin his image. You would ruin him. He cannot afford to have you. Not fully, atleast, which leads to your current, toxic situation.

lose something, babe,

risk something,

He can't bring himself to choose, huh?

Then you will decide for him.

A few moments of silence passed by, you let him process and sink that you were serious.

You hear the couch squeak as he switches his position on the couch, you finally turn to face him.

His arms propped on his knees as he leans forward, staring at you, as if discerning and trying to read your expression, your mind.

"Mien leibe," He slightly moves his head to side. "you should rest."

You let a smile slip as you stare at him.

He was always the same. Silky blonde with streaks of blue at the end, tattoo on his eyelids, the charismatic aura around him, handsome face, striking features, attractive body and voice. You never questioned how you fell for him. Because you knew who he once was behind the elegant facade. Before the money. Before the fame.

But it seemed like this was the life he was meant to live. This was the life he deserved. And this life didn't have you in it.

Putting down the drink, you approached him and bent down infront of him, cupping his face with your two hands and caressing his cheeks with a smile on your face. "Mihya, you've always been handsome, hm?" You slightly turned his face to sides, as if inspecting him. "I've always, liked your eyes." You whispered, voice almost too quiet. "The fire inside them never seemed to burn out."

His face hardens as he grips your hands and suddenly stands, pulling you up with him as he drags you to your room. "You're sleepy, love, let's go to bed." He says, face hard as stone, his grip hardening each second.

You stick your feet to the ground to stop you both. "Mihya, I'm tired."

"I know, that's why we're going to sleep." Before he drags you again, you hold his hand that was holding your other wrist.

"Michael, let's stop."

you're losing me

He chuckles humorlessly. "The only thing that needs to stop is your rambling, mien leibe. You're just tired from work, come on, let's sleep." He tugs again.

"Michael, I love you."

He stops and laughs emptily again. "Mien leibe, why are you doing this?"

"Mihya, I love you."

He shakes his head, eyes burning.

You cup his face again and press your foreheads together, his forehead on top of yours. "My precious Michael Kaiser, I love you."

You felt a tear drop on your cheek, but it wasn't yours.

Your heart contracted painfully seeing his red stained eyes.

"Why are you crying, my love?" You wipe away his tears with a smile.

"What are you saying all of a sudden?" He touches your hands on his cheeks.

"Is it wrong to say it infront of the one I love?"

"Stop saying that."

"Infront of my love?"

"Mien leibe, stop it."

"I love you, Kaiser."

"Stop it."

"Mihya, I—"

He grabs your shoulders and looks at you. You can't seem to read his expression. Is he mad? Angry? Sad? Disappointed? Furious?

"What will it take for you to stay?" The shake in his voice betrays his hardened face.

You shake your head. "Michael..."

"Do you want me to spend the day with you? Do you want to go out? Do you want to watch movies and eat all day? I'll fucking clear my schedule if that's it."

You kept shaking your head, tears falling with his.

"Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?"

You let out a sob when he drops on his knees and hold your hand.

"Stand up, Michael Kaiser!"

"Don't do this to me, mien leibe." He presses his forehead on the back of your hand. "Please..." He whispers against it. "I can't lose you. Not you."

"But you can't lose everything either." You say, dropping on your knees with him.

choose something, babe,

i got nothing to believe

You craddle his face with your hand.

"Please don't make me choose, I can't... I can't... I can't..." He kept shaking his head and repeating the same words.

Your heart contracted again at his desperation.

"I can't do this without you, mien leibe, but I don't want to go back anymore. I don't want to go back there anymore. Don't do this please, please, please, please..."

You were the only reminder of his past that he couldn't throw away. You were the only one who knew the real him. You were the only one who's genuinely proud of who he's become. You were the one thing no one could ever take away from him. But not if you were the one solely and willingly going away.

"Look at me, Michael. Are you not the greatest in this world? You've been strong, you can be stronger than this. You can be greater, even better, you don't need me. You never needed me, Mihya."

No, you were wrong. He thinks. But he can't get the words out his mouth. So many things circulating in his mind, he cannot even think anymore.

"You don't have to choose, Michael." You kiss his forehead. "I'll choose for us."

He stands up and leads you in the room, this time, you come with him. He lays you on top of him, enjoying a few moments of silence just like before.

You bring your face up from his chest to look at his face.

It was scarily devoid of anything, but the gentle hand on your hair calmed you.

Your rose up from his chest and brought your face above him, arms pressed on he sides of his head.

He stares up at you, fingers combing through the locks of your hair falling down, acting like a curtain, still devoid of any emotion.

You press a kiss on his lips, he presses you down further to prolong it.

"Once you've decided to settle down and finally have your peace, Michael..." You whisper against his lips.

He blinks at you, face still empty.

"Find me in the future, and maybe, maybe, we wouldn't have to be in another life."

[casscainmainly]

omg i love your idea for the duke and dick dynamic, it could be so fun if handled properly, i wish dc would release a team-up for them where they start off with the one-sided hate-ish dynamic you described. i'm primarily a nightwing fan but i adore duke and something about them starting off on such a wrong foot makes my brain itch, the banter would be comedy gold. they team up for a case that involves undercover work and some classic corrupt officials in a powerful system. the rooftop should come up and dick should apologize for handling it all wrong and they would talk about the systemic issues in brief all over throughout the comic (maybe use the newly orphaned dick in juvie reference at some point, could lead to very interesting introspection on dick's part) and let them chafe a little together because they are both used to being in leader/solo roles and then let them find even more respect for each other and their skills. i think dick would like duke even more by the end and they both would gain a better understanding of each other. duke doesn't even need to like dick by the end of it. it would be SO fun. DC PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN, LET DUKE BE PETTY AND A HATER AND LET IT BE FUNNY

YAY I'm so glad you like the idea <333 I made that Duke hates Dick post what feels like so long ago now but it is still one of my fav posts and I stand by it. I WOULD DIE FOR A DICK + DUKE SPECIALLLL!!

Sorry you've turned on the Dick + Duke tap in my head so gonna dump some thoughts here:

The thing about Dick + Duke is that they're sooo similar but SOOO different. Like technically they've both been wards/taken in not as a son for Bruce, but Dick's situation was so radically different that even if they talked about it, it wouldn't be the same. Dick would be like 'how did you feel being taken in by Bruce' and Duke would be like 'nothing really. I mean it was nice but it was only temporary. What was it like for you' and Dick would suppress 1 bajillion of the world's strongest feelings about Bruce to be like 'oh it was nice as well'.

ALSO thinking about how the roof thing happened when Dick gave Duke his blessing to be Robin, but now Duke is Signal. I don't think Dick knows 'Signal' comes from Duke's mom, and Duke certainly doesn't know 'Robin' comes from Dick's mom. Imagining a conversation where they discuss those names, and the uncomfortable realisation of what exactly it meant when Duke + the WAR kids took Robin out of its context, but also the realisation that Signal is a Robin legacy in its own way by honouring motherhood. Also, thinking about Duke telling Dick about Bruce giving him the Signal suit and basically asking him to stop being Robin. Dick had picked Duke in Robin War, I can't imagine Bruce's interference with the Robin mantle would go over well (and it shouldn't. I just need someone to be mad about the Robin/Signal transition in canon!!!)

Final thought is their opposing thoughts about performance and honesty. Performance is such an integral part of Dick's core, but it's antithetical to Duke's; he's all about truth, bringing things to light, digging things up etc. I think them teaming up could bring out these completely different approaches to being a hero and being human, and it would be so delicious and good!!! I truly do think at the end of it they would come to have a deep respect for each other, because they are both deeply good people who believe in community and compassion. I even think the leader thing won't be hard for them to overcome (Dick would not treat Duke as a sidekick and Duke would appreciate that; they're both very aware of the importance of youth's independence).

This is just some of the stuff DC is leaving on the table by NOT FLESHING THEIR RELATIONSHIP OUT. For now I just have 3 panels in Robin War to obsess over :((. If they ever do a Duke-Dick special or run I will buy every issue and every variant cover and cry on the floor for an hour maybe because I'll be SO HAPPY!!!

[lcriedlastnight]

a stain on the kitchen floor

○ lando norris x sportstherapist!reader

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : w/c 1.7k. this was so fun to write actually. i'm shit at pacing that's why i haven't written a multi-part story yet so if it's bad don't tell me. also i’m too lazy to proofread these days.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

"i know it's totally normal in the world on formula one, but to me? i think it's crazy. i wouldn't be able to switch up my emotions and feelings like that with some of my closest friends." lando looks over at her from his chair, eyes awfully bright for what was what she considered one of their more heavier sessions.

lando didn't know how he had gotten himself into this situation... well he did, he was just so embarrassed about it! it's not like he would know that her pretty eyes and soothing voice would be just the thing he need to see and hear first thing on a monday morning - especially after a race weekend. it didn't even need to be a bad weekend for him to want to see her and talk you through the weekend from his point of view. when lando realised that, he realised that he fancied her.

forcing himself to zone back in, (he felt bad for always zoning out during sessions. she thought that his mind must've been a battle field but in reality he just couldn't concentrate with her around him, caring words flying around his head and making himself believe that she wasn't asking because it was her job but because her genuinely cared about his mental well-being.) his eyes jump back onto her figure sitting on the chair across from him.

"it's like you said, i'm used to it. we all are." lando shrugs, something he felt like he did a lot in these short ten minute sessions. it has her sighing again before jotting something down again in her little pink notebook.

"lando, i've told you before, you need to stop shugging things like this off. i can tell it bothers you so just tell me how it makes you feel." she tells the boy, a little annoyed but in a second any trace of it is gone and she's back to her usual upbeat self. lando's heart stutters at her words. simp.

"it is a little hard sometimes, but it comes with the job. you gotta be mentally strong to do this too." lando explains like to her like they haven't already had the exact same conversation a few sessions ago. all she does is nod her head, appreciating that he was trying to open up and let her in. before she could dig any deeper though, her timer went off, signalling that their ten minutes were up. lando groans. loudly.

"why're you annoyed? you hate talking about your feelings." she points out and it has the driver turning red and stuttering out some bullshit answer. if she hadn't noticed his little crush by now then lando thinks he might have to tell zak to find someone a little better.

★・・・・・・★

much to zak and oscar’s surprise lando had been attending the sessions weekly, arriving earlier than he ever had in his entire career at mclaren. this didn’t make much sense to them but who were they to judge? at least lando was finally talking about his feelings, regularly, to someone who could help him process them correctly.

oscar always went second every monday. he would watch as lando skipped out of the room, gracing him with one of those cheesy smiles that he was famous for. sometimes oscar forgot about lando’s hesitance the first day because there was no way she was this good to make him switch from being therapy’s number one hater to its biggest fan. she hadn’t even been here a month yet!

oscar was seeing the same girl and he, in the nicest way possible, did not think she was anything special. she was just a girl who tried to get to cold at steel drivers to talk about their emotions. easy enough right? oscar was starting to think that she had maybe coaxed this good attitude towards therapy out of him some way but his mind was quickly changed just before their third ever session with her. it was the most put together oscar had even seen lando on a monday morning, ever! it was like he was doing a paddock walk. that’s when oscar realised that maybe lando’s excitement towards these sessions wasn’t getting to talk about his feelings but maybe because he was talking to her. not to blow smoke up his own arse but oscar wasn’t stupid.

★・・・・・・★

the session after jeddah was particularly difficult for her. in her entire time with lando it hadn’t been too difficult to get him to speak out about how the previous race had gone but as they got further into the season, she noticed every time how it was a little bit harder each time to get him to open up to her.

“lando?” she says softly. they had been sitting in silence for half the session. this had been their worst one yet. she had no idea why this was hurting her so much, maybe she was just too empathetic and felt whatever pain lando had felt.

lando stays silent but looks up at her with so much hurt in his eyes it makes her avoid his gaze as for the first time with lando, she felt a little uncomfortable. it was literally her job to comfort people when they were struggling so why was this time so fucking difficult?

“the session is nearly finished.” is all she can say.

“right.” lando nods.

“i know this was a harder session today but i’m proud of you, you didn’t even need to show up and you did which shows so much progress from our first one.” her words were filled with a sincerity lando hadn’t heard in a long while.

“can i ask you for something?” lando asks. the most he’s spoken this session, she jumps at the opportunity to help him feel even the slightest bit better.

“of course, that’s what i’m here for.”

lando hesitates for. few beats before he’s standing up from his chair and walking towards hers.

“can i have a hug?”

she’s taken aback but she doesn’t let it show as she opens her arms without hesitation. this may be a little unprofessional but that was the last thing she was thinking of right now. if this what was going to make him feel better then she would hug him until her arms went numb. that’s not unprofessional though! it’s just because she wants to help all of her patients. she would do the same for oscar…

lando lets himself relax for the first time since saturday. he lets himself breathe in her perfume and what he thinks is some kind of flowery shampoo. the mix of the two makes him lightheaded in the best way possible.

“i’m sorry for not saying anything.” lando breaks the silence first.

“you don’t have to apologise. i’m here for you no matter what you want to do. i’ve already told you that we don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” she comforts, hand now running up and down his back in a soft trail of warmth.

“i do want to. it’s just.. hard to break habit i guess. and now we don’t have any time to.” lando confesses, her heart simultaneously bursting with pride and hurt.

“i’m sure oscar wouldn’t mind if we push his session back for this week.” she offers.

lando moves his head from on top of hers in surprise.

“really? you would do that for me?”

she doesn’t answer, instead heading to the door to ask the aussie sitting outside waiting for her. this is professional, all she wants is for lando to get his feelings out.

once lando rants and gets out every single thought and feeling he had over the weekend and she offers her best advice, she tells him something that she hopes sticks with him for the rest of the season.

“we both know that you are capable of this. you are a world class driver in an amazing car that we know you can drive i just don’t want your downfall to be your mind. it’s amazing but you let it hurt you too much. don't let your mind make you feel like you aren't worthy of this. you aren't just a stain on someone's kitchen floor, okay?"

lando only nods in understanding before standing from the chair again, you rise again to stand beside him. instead if asking this time, he just pulls you into another hug, this one feels tighter than the last but you don’t complain. no, you smile into it and weirdly repress the urge to press a kiss on his shoulder. okay, that’s not at all professional.

★・・・・・・★

later on, before the workday for her ends, she finds herself reaching for her notebook. she didn't write down everything he said, she would be there all day with the way he spoke to her these days. it was just things that she felt she would want to circle back on in later sessions, she did it with every client she has, oscar's notes sat a little emptier a divider away. but there was something different about lando's notes that she didn't even realise that she had done until she was reviewing after that session.

she flicks to the divider with his name on it and gets to today's notes.

likes to unwind after race by watching an adam sandler film.

okay, that's still on the professional side. nothing too wrong with that, it's good to have fun and easy ways to decompress, especially as an f1 driver, she tells herself.

doesn't like sushi.

that's... not professional but not weird to write down? she questions herself in her head. she remembers the conversation in her head and can't help the smile that creeps up onto her face at the memory. she should not be smiling right now but that small smile turns into a full on beaming grin as what she had wrote next.

smells like that one cologne from armani.

she can't even remember writing that. her smile drops in seconds, thinking that this was getting creepy. why had she written that? she was going to have to start paying more attention to what she was writing in her sessions with lando. she seemed like a fucking stalker.

she snaps the book shut and shoves it back in it's drawer. it's like this was the push she needed to get moving and get home. she gathers her stuff from her 'temporary' office and throws on her coat, it was getting warmer woking but not warm enough to forgo a jacket of some sort. as she was walking out to the car park she passed by the trophy cabinet and about a million pictures of lando smiling.

she had to get a grip.

[dduane]

Hi DD! I am rereading the Middle Kingdoms books and I was wondering if there’s a pronunciation guide for the characters’ names kicking around anywhere. Especially for Segnbora’s name and Eftgan’s nickname 😊 thanks in advance, and thank you also for the books. If there was ever a time that those of us living in reality needed fix it fic for the world��.. regardless, they’re a comfort.

First of all: you're very welcome. I have to admit that at this particular point in time, there's something to be said for being able to take refuge in a universe where, when the politically or economically powerful misbehave, God is extremely likely to show up on their doorsteps—in one guise or another—to forcefully, and when necessary fatally, kick their butts. (I'm polishing a scene of that kind right now and it is so fecking satisfying.)

And for our joint amusement: here's an image of Segnbora and Queen Eftgan in that fabled Darthis dive bar the Stuck Pig, just after the events in Tales of the Five: The Landlady (and after Eftgan had had time to change out of the clothes she'd earlier been wearing for yardwork).

Meanwhile, about pronunciations in the Middle Kingdoms books: sure, no problem. A little background:

I've mentioned here and there that the groundwork for the series grew out of a period in the late 60s/early 70s when I'd pivoted toward writing Tolkien fanfic (from Trek). One aspect of the LOTR works that particularly stuck with me was the whole "Author Is Merely Translating The Red Book Of Westmarch" thing, with Tolkien claiming (in his appended materials) to be translating character names from the Westron and substituting sympathetic alternatives from Old (and Middle) English.

So early on in my ficcing process—which rapidly turned into a worldbuilding hotbed for the Middle Kingdoms universe as a whole—I scraped together enough cash to send to Blackwell's of Oxford for a copy of J. R. Clark Hall's A Concise Anglo-Saxon Dictionary. (Which you can actually now download as an .epub from Project Gutenberg, such are the wonders of the age we live in.) I promptly started mining the book for character names, and as a result Old English-based or -sounding names are scattered all through the series. Sometimes the name signals something about what's going on with the character: but not inevitably.

...Inserting a cut here, as this goes on a bit. Caution: contains inflected vowels, idiosyncratic pronunciations, snarky nicknames, mice, and the secret behind why—when he's not helping save the world—Herewiss usually seems to be in the bathtub.

...Anyway. As far as pronunciations go, probably the simplest hint is to treat these names—and other Old English-derived words in the text— as if they were indeed sort of English... and not to get unduly worried about trying to approximate the proper OE pronunciations. (Because I sure don't.) So that means "Herewiss" is pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable, and the "Here-" pronounced exactly like Eng. "here"; "Freelorn", the same way—just "free" and "lorn" run together. His name, like various others in the series, is a construction, and doesn't appear in Hall's. Its structure harks back to etymologies like the one involved in the now pretty-much antiquated word lorn (cf. "lovelorn", "forlorn", etc.). Its use in his name is meant to suggest someone who—when he tries to live a carefree unencumbered life—screws up repeatedly until he realizes he just can’t do that; because, like it or not, he’s destined for different things. ...Herewiss's name, though, is an alteration of an OE word that does appear in Hall's, herewisa: "wise in [the ways of] war", a captain or general. The word often implies a strategist or tactician, which is a good fit for him.

The pronounce-it-like-sort-of-English approach works for both Segnbora and Eftgan. The first part of Segnbora's name comes from the same root as the Eng. "sign", and Segnbora's "g" is also silent: so, senn-BOH-ra, to rhyme with "when MORE uh." It's derived directly from the OE segnbora, "a standard-bearer": which, as the series's plot proceeds, is a name she earns. Eftgan is just EFT-gan, rhyming with "WEFT-ten". Her name, unlike Segnbora's, doesn't appear in Hall's, but those of various of her family and relatives do, featuring the "eft-" prefix (OE "again")* that suggests repetition; or sometimes just "ef-". (Darthene royal names during the main series's century tend to start with "E" or “B”, as Arlene ones at the moment start with "F".)

The nickname situation (or "calling-name" as it's described in both the Arlene and Darthene languages) is slightly more involved. People coming up with nicknames for friends or family may chop off a congenial segment of a name and use that (as "Lorn" for Freelorn). Or they may verb-ize or adjectivize part of a name, so that the nickname sometimes acts as a pointer to something going on with that person—perhaps a character trait. Eftgan does this with Segnbora, calling her "'Berend" (as the others in the found family eventually start doing as well). This very purposeful twist of a possessive form of her name (Segnbéreind) into a pun on Dar. (e)h'bereindh, "hurried, speeding", implies a tendency to rush into things or to take sudden action that may look precipitate to the casual viewer.

Tegánë (teh-GAAH-nay), Segnbora's nickname for her onetime lover and current wife, is something similar. It first breaks the Queen's name in an archaic and atypical way (and one that would, for a fellow lore-student of the Silent Precincts, evoke some usages in previous centuries' verse forms). Then the extraneous, inflected vowels hooked onto it turn the nickname into a teasing near-opposite of Segnbora's own, a cognate to Dar. tegáneit: "methodical, calm, thorough"—with the affectionate implication that maybe the person it's applied to could occasionally speed things the Dark up a little. The two nicknames together could be taken by Darthene speakers (and there are a couple more of those in the family) as a microcosm of Segnbora's and Eftgan's relationship.

...And then there are the nicknames that have no damn thing whatsoever to do with the "right-name" of the person associated with them: like "Dusty" for Herewiss. In the dialect of Darthene commonly spoken in the Brightwood principality, the actual nickname "translated" here is Dar. Eárret(h), "[habitually] dirtied, besmirched": a word often used in frustrated affection for the kind of person who all through their childhood will inevitably find a mud puddle to jump into mere seconds after you’ve managed to wrestle clean clothes onto them. For someone who in adulthood canonically prefers to dress way down, in traditional/vernacular Brightwood leathers, for city life—the better to bamboozle clueless courtiers into dismissing him as an unsophisticated hick—but who's also been revealed to enjoy being a bit of a clothes-horse when he has an excuse, the conjoined fondness and irony underlying Herewiss's family nickname make it choice. Yet (as the best nicknames are) it's still apropos. This is a man who, whether digging in the garden or taking on a difficult piece of political work, is not afraid to get right down into it and get his hands dirty… and who won't waste time washing up until matters are fully sorted out.

...Anyway: hope this has helped a bit! The only other piece of advice: when you run into dipthongs (Héalhra, Éarn, Béorgan, etc etc), you can split them if you like (HAY-ul-hra) or run them together (YARN): exactly as you please. No one in this universe is going to care. And in the other one—bearing in mind the Realms-wide mandate for showing proper hospitality to strangers—on hearing how you sound they'll probably just buy you a drink and ask you for the news from foreign parts. (As unexpectedly happened to me, one time, here. Hit the "backstory" tab for the details.). :)

*Burns’s poem "To A Mouse" invokes this word, dialect-changed to old Scots: "...gang aft agley."

[vicetrevni]

Ok so I've been thinking about this for the past week or so. I just have to get it out there, so Imma ramble about Clinical Trial a bit.

We know Lee is suicidal (and possibly Autistic). And his whole goal in life is to eventually kill himself. But how does that reflect his actions?

First, we see that he actually falls for Angel pretty hard (possibly starting at the first week but really rolling at Week 4 - I believe that's when she spits the gum in the trash, because we see that same gum in Lee's shrine of her so it has to be the first thing he takes aside from her hair and bloody tissue).

But as we see in the Happy End route, Angel mentions he has a hard time expressing himself (and he basically confirms this himself as she does - maybe even a bit before then as he does know people call him 'cold' and 'too serious'). So the shrine makes sense - he's just trying to get out those feelings, they're new to him and he doesn't know any healthy ways to express any of it.

But then we see him go after her rapist, saying he has 'nothing left to lose' even though he clearly starts to feel that with Angel he may have a life to live for. So why the sudden self-deprication and backpedaling when Angel sees the shrine?

Because he was fully planning for Angel to reject him from the start.

Just think about it.

He keeps on calling himself a creep, even though he tries to defend himself for having a shrine made for her in his closet (Angel even points out he's trying to give that image off to her but she sees right through it). And he isn't exactly trying to harm her in any way, despite his obsession over her. Because he never planned to actually *do* anything about it. He wasn't going to ask her out, or even let her know at all.

He was only using her as an excuse to not stall or delay his suicide anymore.

And that is actually really sad, because you can see him having a *sliver* of hope that she might accept his feelings. That maybe, he can have a future he could look forward to with her. But his suicidal ideation was stronger than his 'love' for her. And, in a final attempt to just get it over with, he decided to take down her rapist as a final 'goodbye' to her. Because he never once expected her to actually accept him at all, but the least he could do was make her feel safe and not have her leave her job over some actual creep.

And as we see, in the Happy End route, she accepts him and they go on to live together as a couple. I doubt he still feels suicidal like he used to, but I feel that on occasion he slips back into his old 'habits' when he feels she might be in any danger (obviously no killing - maybe just scaring people away so they don't actually do anything to her).

Now, going onto the Dead End route here a bit.

We see in this route, he goes through with his suicide from Angel's rejection and she leaves thinking about what to do about the situation. But would she actually have been implicated in the murder as an accomplice?

I don't believe so.

Lee was right on a lot of things, that it was a 'perfect crime'. Sure, he messed up on some things. But he got *very* lucky, all he'd have to do was hide the body and have Angel never find out. But, of course, he never got that far. Because he wasn't expecting Angel to come back to the clinic, so he had to stall for time.

So he bought the signal jammer, and kept her there for three days until he was ready to dispose of the body. And of course, she found out *everything*. The only 'mistake' she made was turning off the signal jammer, giving her exact location (being Lee's house).

But despite that, she could've still just walked away from it all and never get caught. Sure, she would've returned to no home and no job. But the police wouldn't be looking for her as a suspect, she could just say the guy suddenly didn't show up for work and move on with her life. And unless the cops magically figure out it's a murder case, *and* that Lee is the one who did it, she is safe.

Her only problem now is possibly being homeless. She did pay rent for the month before she left so she won't get kicked out right away, plus her job may not have fired her right away for missing three days. But if her roommates kick her out before then, and her job is not there anymore (plus she may not be able to find one for a long while), then she will end up homeless (and possibly dead) in this route.

But she still wouldn't be implicated in the murder, if anyone even assumes the guy was killed at the time rather than him just 'skipping town' for whatever reason. And I bet that despite the guys at the bakery liking him, the girls working there won't care one bit that another rapist is gone.

tl;dr - Lee is 100% autistic, and Angel is a literal 'angel'.

[thelivingautomaton]

MANNNNNNNNN ok. not to get my SEVERANCE brainworms all over the place but i literally cannot stop thinking about this show. also i keep reading theories on reddit and some of them are really good and some are unbelievably stupid/media-illiterate. so i am dumping my wild predictions/theorizing/thoughts on season 2 here. Please Enjoy Every Bullet Point Equally(TM)

OKAY let's get the big one out of the way: it seems pretty apparent now that cold harbor (and maybe all of the datasets mdr is given to "refine") is binning memories/experiences/brainwaves into severance chips, likely in order to reformat or rebuild someone's personality from the ground up.

this reddit post sums a lot of the evidence up but tl;dr you see an electron microscopy image of neural axons, as well as an etCO2 statistic, which is typically used to monitor respiration of someone who's in a coma or on ventilation

MOREOVER, the four aspects of mdr's data line up with kier eagan's four tempers (woe, frolic, dread, malice -- i've also seen it pointed out that this aligns with the four mdr workers, and in the original pilot script there's a reference to "needing" four workers, but iirc they all work on separate files??), and apparently one of his Whole Things(TM) was the idea that you can neatly sort a person's entire personality into those four boxes

the numbers provoke an emotional response in the refiner based on their interpretation of the data, which we can surmise is likely neural/electrical signals of some kind, specifically from brains that have been frozen or cryogenically preserved and are slowly being thawed. hence all the stress over "finishing" files on time, before they "expire" (i.e. brain thaws too much)

the opening credits for season 2 places a HUGE emphasis on big swollen misshapen heads, on brains, and also on ice...including a blink-and-you-miss-it glimpse of a crashed car sinking into the ice, which takes us into our next big point:

gemma obviously didn't die in the car crash BUT!!! lumon taking her and (presumably) replacing her body with a double (mark says he identified her but that she was also "burned" so that's obviously questionable) was actually something of a random fluke. for whatever reason the circumstances of her death made it so that she was ideal to use as a guinea pig for "part-time employment"

again, kind of going off the s2 opening credits here and the image of the car sinking into the ice -- obvs mark visited the tree where she crashed, but i feel like i remember he had to drive on a bridge overlooking a body of water to get there? maybe gemma and the car both fell in and were frozen (since everything in SEVERANCE apparently happens in the wintertime, lol)

i mean, it wouldn't surprise me if we learn that the car accident was "arranged" by lumon??? (either purely to harvest bodies or potentially if gemma turns out to have been involved in anti-eagan stuff on the DL) but idk, i don't love the idea cos i don't like it when shows try to tie LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE THING together into the big overarching mystery, y'know? like, some things are really just down to dumb luck and chance

i also don't think miss casey herself is a clone of gemma, so either her body was WAY less fucked up by the car crash physically than we might otherwise think, or lumon has some top-secret super-healing tech on the testing floor. maybe both!

ANYWAY, remember "allentown"? mark s's first-day fluke, where he completed a file in one day? that was him refining gemma into miss casey the first time around. YADDA YADDA LOVE TRANSCENDS SEVERANCE he literally put the splintered icy fragments of his dead wife back together again because she LIVES IN HIS VEINS guys. and now he's doing it AGAIN with cold harbor. this is why lumon was so desperate to keep him around even while they fired irving and dylan at the drop of a hat: they know he can get the job done, ESPECIALLY when it comes to working on gemma/miss casey. (see also: mark w commenting about how his team from the branch that shut down never made quota)

i've seen the idea tossed around that all the refiners are assigned to someone who was emotionally close to their outie (e.g. irving's deceased father) but i really don't think that's the case -- like, dylan says mark's freshman fluke let lumon devise new techniques for refining to cut down on the time it takes to finish a file, and istg i can see it perfectly in my head: cobel asking mark s how the FUCK he managed to do that and him just being like "i don't know, the numbers looked...scary??????" and her just. rolling with it.

(also i feel like that's why dylan's generally a good refiner -- he can read people! his outie knew what to say and how to act to impress the door factory guy in s2e2!)

so lumon really really needs cold harbor to work. if it's not because they care about gemma SPECIFICALLY for some secret reason, it must be that they care about the technique. lumon (i.e. the board and/or the eagan family), like so many corporate overlords before them, are selling immortality.

i'm on the fence about whether they're trying to resurrect/immortalize kier eagan specifically -- like it would make the most thematic sense, and they have a ton of material FROM his life certainly to work with, but he's supposed to have died in 1939 and cryonics tech just wasn't advanced enough at the time. but also the world of SEVERANCE is pretty distinct from our own so i guess it's plausible

i feel much more confident in saying they're trying to get the technique working specifically for the sake of current ceo jame eagan, who is an old decrepit fart. imo the "revolving" he mentions to helly in the s1 finale is key to this -- like, it kind of sounds like eagan-speak for rotating through/swapping into a new body???

this MIGHT be where the idea of cloning becomes involved, which i can see supported by the emphasis in the s2 opening credits on babies (including baby kier at the end ofc), but i also just had the even more fucked up thought that what if the end goal is to upload the eagans' personalities (and those of their chosen cronies) into the bodies of severed workers. hence the continued necessity for a severed working underclass as well as their ruling higher-ups -- it's a body farm, an endless cycle of severed workers toiling away to let the rich live on and then having their bodies/minds/souls co-opted when they've lost their other utility. oh my god helly was right THEY LITERALLY ARE LIVESTOCK

guys holy shit what if the season ends with jame (or KIER) eagan's personality getting uploaded into miss casey's chip and overwriting miss casey (and also gemma?? idk i feel like mark scout/mark s are both going to have to come to terms with the idea that gemma as she was is capital-g Gone, even if her body and brain are still sort of alive). and then season 3 has dichen lachman chewing the scenery as creepy old man eagan. I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN AND ALSO FUCKED UP

okay so what about cobel, right? like, obviously she's been drinking the eagan kool-aid, she is All In on immortalizing kier (or jame or whoever). but there's more to it than that!!! she's the one harping on about reintegration being real and possible, AND she's desperate seeking for any signs of it during mark s and miss casey's wellness sessions. why? cobel wants to revive her mother charlotte (we see her medical tag on cobel's eagan shrine), but she wants HER MOTHER, not a blank slate -- in other words she's rooting for the chips to not function properly in order to truly resurrect someone who's been dead

in particular i think this is why she flipped her lid on mark at the end of s2e2 when he asked what she knew about gemma -- like, idk maybe it's confirmation bias at play but to me her primal scream felt like it was coming from a place of...jealousy? like, "how DARE you ask me that, how are YOU the one who's allowed to get your loved one back and I'M being promoted up the ladder so lumon can get me out of the way even though MY motivations are pure". that kind of thing

cobel's attitude towards lumon and helena in s2e2 is SUUUUUUPER ambiguous -- i think she's going to turn from outright enemy into kind of a weird "enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing this season?? especially since i got the feeling that she really did kind of care about mark and devon in her own supremely weird, fucked-up way

oh god you guys. what if her "mrs selvig" persona was cobel imitating her own mother, mid-atlantic accent and corny outdated references to clark gable and all. FUCK

also the fact that she's looking for miss casey and mark s to remember each other implies that reintegration is possible even without outside interference with the chip itself (i.e. however reghabi reintegrated petey). and you know what?

i think she's right.

THE BIG BOY THEORY: MARK SCOUT AND MARK S WILL START TO SPONTANEOUSLY REINTEGRATE THIS SEASON

i will live and die on this hill, ben stiller i swear to FUCK

what's the overriding symbolism in the season 1 opening credits?? the line between innie and outie is porous (or "mushy", if you will). black sludge seeping from the trash cans that's made of all your other selves (also reflecting how irving dreams of his outie's black paint). mark's innie and outie selves constantly chasing circles around one another until at the end they both collapse on the bed...and then collapse together as a single person.

what's the overriding symbolism in the season 2 opening credits???? not just "mark scout, i.e. mark in red pajamas, delving into lumon's mysteries", not just "mushy confusion of innie and outie feelings re: helly and miss casey" -- mark's innie and outie selves working together. innie mark pulling outie mark out of the severance chip. innie mark hoisting up the curtain dividing outer and inner worlds to let outie mark through. innie mark CARRYING OUTIE MARK IN HIS ARMS. do you see the fucking vision.

of course that's also coupled with the final image of the credits: mark bursting through and out of his own head. which i think emphasizes that there's going to be conflict as well as cooperation between mark's disparate selves (especially when it comes to everything involving the helly/mark/casey love triangle)

why did mark look like he was having a goddamn seizure when he was coming down the elevator. why did he glimpse a mysterious figure following him in the hallway. WHY THE FUCK WAS HIS VERY FIRST INSTINCT TO BOLT FOR WELLNESS AND LOOK FOR MISS CASEY!!!!! (okay this could also conceivably be due to him yelling to devon that she was alive literally one second ago but still)

i think mark's "spontaneous reintegration" is also more or less an insane fluke, basically a product of the fact that he's now working on gemma/miss casey's refinement data AGAIN and both his innie and outie selves are starting to blur together regarding their shock and turmoil over the realization that gemma is alive (and probably loads of other stuff too while we're at it).

but idk, maybe spontaneous reintegration also occurs naturally over time? irving is also having some bleed-through and iirc he's been at lumon the longest of all of them

shit dude. what if outie burt ALSO has bleed-through and that's why he followed irving and was crying. honestly what the fuck was even the deal with that, i don't know!!!!

anyway i imagine that "spontaneous reintegration" would really put a kibosh in lumon's plans to permanently rewire and wipe the brains of severed folks in order to pave the way for an immortal ruling class. also i thought the way they did petey's hallucinatory flip-flopping between his lives/selves was awesome and i would like more of that, please. (also: i miss petey, y'all)

i think if they do end up going this route it's gonna be spoonfed to us pretty slowly though -- like, s2 will slowly build up the mystery of "what the fuck's going on with mark reintegrating", then s3 is his two selves coming to terms with...All Of That

those are all of my big idea theories but i also have some smaller bullet points to address:

dylan's gonna visit his family in the """visitation suite""" and it 100% is going to be paid lumon actors. and the giveaway is gonna come at the end of the episode when we cut back to outie dylan's life and his wife (or one of his other kids, who knows) is terminally sick (maybe wheelchair- or bed-bound?), hence outie dylan's desperation to find another job post-firing

that is one million percent helena eagan down on the severed floor (although i can see the argument for it being helly r and she's just not comfortable sharing her real experience on the outside). her shady story aside, i think britt lower is CRUSHING IT as "helena pretending to be helly but it's kind of off-putting and fake because it's helena's idea of how helly would behave". like, it's giving me the same vibes as in FRINGE when fauxlivia pretends to be olivia and then seduces/sleeps with peter. real ones know

RICKEN IS NOT A FUCKING SECRET EAGAN!!!!!! DEVON IS NOT SECRETLY IN ON ANYTHING (besides keeping her brother safe)!!!!!! HIS FRIENDS ARE JUST PRETENTIOUS SHITHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!

as much as i would literally chew glass (positive) for mark s and miss casey to be A Thing, i feel like narratively and thematically it's not gonna work with the show's overarching themes of like, struggling to process grief and selfhood and figuring out what makes you you (or someone else their own independent self). gemma is Gone and you can't bring her back and you can't cut yourself off from the grief and the pain. mark has to reintegrate (literally and metaphorically/emotionally) in order to resolve his issues and move on

this show is so!!!!!! OOOOOUUUUGGGGHHGHGHH

[enviedear]

i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo

description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.

pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader

warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly

word count ⌙ 4.1k

— request | masterlist

i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3

you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.

"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.

the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."

you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.

you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.

no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.

he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.

but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.

naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.

what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.

you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.

you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.

your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.

but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.

but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.

you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"

when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.

"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.

you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."

ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."

you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.

ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.

"stop calling me that." you groan.

ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"

you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."

"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.

you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."

ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."

you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."

ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."

you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."

ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."

you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"

he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."

"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."

ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"

you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."

ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.

the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.

"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.

you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"

ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."

"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.

as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.

you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.

the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.

but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.

it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.

ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.

as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.

you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.

you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.

finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.

ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.

the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.

he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.

he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.

"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.

you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."

he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.

"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.

ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.

you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."

"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."

your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.

you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.

you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.

you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.

"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.

"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."

you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.

you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?

you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.

there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.

you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.

"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.

you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.

your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.

he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.

you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."

ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."

"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.

"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."

you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."

he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."

your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."

his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"

you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.

you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.

what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?

taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.

you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.

the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.

you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.

you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.

your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.

eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.

"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"

you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.

"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."

your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.

"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."

ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"

he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.

you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."

ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."

you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."

he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."

you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."

he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.

"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."

you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."

you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.

he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."

it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.

"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."

you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.

he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.

you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."

you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."

he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.

his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.

[blorbocedes]

BROCEDES! ROOMMATE AU + UNEXPECTED VIRGIN!

‘Take a shot if your body count is more than 5!’

Most of the crowd drinks, even those with obviously shifty eyes and guilty demeanours. Lewis drinks.

He was coursemates with Adrian the previous semester and had to hear his bitching and moaning about the bitches he gets – the lack thereof, spots him drinking too. Nico’s standing at the end of the couch, expensive loafers careful to step around the sticky spilled beer.

He nurses his red solo cup, untouched. Lewis frowns.

‘Take a shot if your body count is double digits!’

Fewer people drink this time. The crowd goes ‘ooh’ at the ones who do. Technically, Lewis’ is 7 – 8 if you count the blowjob and her getting her period at the last second, opting out. But college athletes have a reputation to maintain, so Lewis finishes off his cup.

This time, Nico is watching him. Smiles when their eyes meet and does a mock salute, lips still not grazing his drink.

What the fuck? What could it be? It bothers Lewis that Nico’s not being honest. He's seen Nico half-lidded hanging off some guy’s arm at a party or cuddled into some girl to know better. Although, since Nico has access to all the population instead of 50%, it would make sense if his count is twice as high.

A pretty girl in a low cut top and blonde highlights taps Lewis on the arm to dance with her, and all thoughts of his roommate and how many people he fucks are forgotten.

A few hours later, the party has died down. Cold pizza and the music is less in-your-face, more indie. A small group gather on the floor playing the laziest truth or dare with a half empty bottle of Bacardi. The guy beside Nico is in an obnoxious leather jacket and tight pants, and his hand rests on Nico’s thigh.

It falls on Lewis.

“So… Lew-iss,” Natalie? maybe asks, voice slurring a little. “Do you remember when you first met Nico?”

Nico raises an interested eyebrow. Of course he remembers. However, Lewis is aware they asked the question because people think him and Nico are secretly hooking up because they live together, and since Nico’s seen with everyone. His teammate Felipe and his girlfriend are within earshot.

“Nah, man. I don't remember shit like that. I remember when I like, lost my virginity.” Lewis offers as bait.

Nico frowns, it's cute on him. Brows wrinkled up.

Naomi(!) bites. “Tell us about how you lost your virginity.”

“That's two questions.” Lewis leans back, flashing his most charming gap-toothed smile. Everyone's too drunk to keep track of whose turn it is.

Nico disappears off with Mr. Skinny Jeans.

It's a little while later when Lewis has smoked a spliff to clear his head, rejecting the blonde highlights girl’s offer back to her dorms which is on the other side of campus, when Nico returns, hair mussed and shirt buttoned more than it was when he left.

“Home?” He asks. Lewis follows.

Nico’s a pretty chill roommate. He grew up with a silver spoon and an only child, so he has no concept of sharing. Instead, when he orders Thai, he makes sure to order for two so that Lewis doesn't try to eat any of his dumplings. Lewis gets to have the flat to himself a lot since Nico disappears for the night, returns at early hours of the night with glitter on his cheek or bite marks on his neck and a cheeky smile before collapsing on the couch. Lewis can't complain, it makes bringing girls over easier. And when Nico is studying, he keeps to himself. Lewis will know, because there will be an extra coffee for him. In turn, Lewis gets rids of the bugs in the flat – the first time Nico seeing a cockroach asking if they should call pest control or sue their landlord for unhygienic living conditions.

“Why didn't you drink? At the body count question?” Lewis asks, breaking the amiable silence of their walk home, and the lack of filter signalling he was drunker than he thought.

Nico hums thoughtfully. “Cause that would be a lie?”

Lewis tries to make sense of that, doing math in his head. “No…? It wasn't about the exact number, just if it's more than.”

“Yeah,” Nico smiles, unlocking the door and stepping side. “That would be a lie.”

Lewis rolls his eyes. Nico and his riddles and his games. “It would only be a lie if you're a virgin. Which you're not.” He snorts at the thought.

Nico’s eyes flash dangerously. “Yeah?” Nico turns around, effectively trapping Lewis between the door. “You think about who gets in my pants a lot, Hamilton?”

Lewis feels a flush rise in his neck. Thank god for melanin, if he were Nico he'd have two giant red spots on his cheek right now.

“I don't care who you sleep with. Or don't sleep with.” Lewis tries to go for gruff, chill, but it doesn't quite land. He gets out of Nico’s cornering, going to the couch. “It's just weird you’d lie considering Jenson–”

“Oh if Jenson said it, it must be true.” Nico’s sarcasm is shrill and annoyed, betraying how drunk he is.

It does make Lewis pause. Jenson has a habit of embellishing stories of his conquests. The fated twins threesome never happened, he had separately hooked up with twins. Lewis remembers Jenson bragging in the locker room how he rocked Britney’s world and Lewis had worn his his shin guards with a little more force than necessary.

“Rock my world?” Nico rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Hardly. We made out for forty minutes until he came in his pants.”

TMI because now Lewis is inundated of images of Nico, mouth swollen and bodies entangled while fully clothed.

“So you're actually a virgin? What about all those people?” Lewis is still trying to wrap his head around it. Nico is the most sexual person he knows. He eats yoghurt off the spoon distractingly, and has no shame walking around the apartment naked. Very sexual liberation chic, and Lewis had to draw up boxers boundaries.

Nico wrinkles his nose. “So you get with the easiest lay on campus and you're the only person he won't fuck. Do you want to admit something's weird and wrong with you, or do you just go about inferring you had sex? It's not like I'm going to correct them.” He must see something on Lewis’ face because he interjects, defensively offensive, “Don't ask why it's better to have a reputation. I know your tells. You drank twice.”

Lewis chooses his words carefully, gentle like he's not trying to spook a wild cat. “I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. Nobody figured it out?”

Nico softens at the tone. He sinks on the couch beside Lewis. “Honestly, you're the first person to notice.”

Lewis finds that sad. “Hey, we don't need to talk about this if it's a sensitive topic. I'm sorry I –”

“Jeez, Lewis. I don't have trauma, I'm just frigid. A pricktease. Nothing bad ever happens to a Rosberg.” Nico works on the complicated laces of his boots. He hates being pitied.

Lewis leans over. “It's really not all that cracked up to be. The first time, at least. Cause you're bad at it and you don't know how to pace yourself. Lots of people wait until they're ready. My first time, it was this girl I was seeing after GCSEs. We couldn't find a place so we got in my dad’s old Subaru. Lasted like 30 seconds. Wiped the whole place down but I was convinced he would know somehow. Come Sunday, I went and told him. He hadn’t the slightest clue. So that was an awkward drive to church.”

Nico gawks him, crumpling into himself laughing. Lewis regrets being a vulnerable and oversharer of a drunk. Nico’s gelled hair has come undone from hours of partying and falls over his eyes. Lewis is never going to open up to anyone ever again.

“On God's day, Lewis?! And you think I should save myself until marriage? Find myself a nice, righteous wife?”

“Someone you trust. Someone you're into.” The room spins a little. Nico Rosberg is a virgin.

“Someone who’d remember when we first met?” Nico challenges. "That's not very nice, is it? I can't believe you forgot--"

“You were checking out an encyclopaedia on space at the library. I wanted the Senna autobiography. We were 12.”

Nico’s eyes go wide. Lewis holds his gaze.

[dao-the-starlight]

Alright, it's time....

Say hello to my main OLNF MC!!!!!

This is my baby Marceline Jeandel!!! σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

I want to make a much more formal post about them in the future where I go more in depth into who they are but that'll wait until later because I want to talk about Marceline and I want to talk about them NOW!! So this'll just be a quick intro (under the read more)

So! At 10 years old little Marceline Jeandel moved to Golden Grove all the way from their birthplace, France! The move was a pretty daunting event, especially since they were travelling to a completely different continent, to Marceline it was as if they went to a different dimension entirely! But, Marceline had their Maman, their most loved and trusted figure in their life, if she was there then they'd be able to do anything

Marceline (in this step) is a young transgender boy with He/Him pronouns, their journey with their gender is one filled with quite a few twists, turns, and feelings that I won't delve into in full here, all you really need to know now is that they eventually figure out that they are genderqueer and primarily use they/them pronouns!

For the most part, Marceline is nonverbal in step one (in steps two, three, and four they're not necessarily nonverbal but they still talk very rarely). The reason for this is that they have a fairly severe form of Apraxia of Speech, a neurological disorder that essentially makes it extremely difficult if not impossible for the brain to send signals to the parts of the body that control speech, this renders Marceline unable to form coherent sentences and makes it so they can only really make random vocalizations and maaaybe say a word or two on good days. They are in speech therapy for this and are slowly but steadily getting better at forming proper speech but for now, they only really communicate through various vocalizations when it's needed. I will mention here as well that Marceline is also Autistic! I've done extremely thorough research into both of these conditions to make sure I'm representing both in a respectful way, I'm aware of the stereotypes a nonverbal autistic character can easily fall into and whenever I do anything Marceline related I always make sure I'm not running them right into any possible stereotypes

Lastly! Their relationship with the leads!

When it comes to romance, Marceline is paired with the one and only Qiu Lin, it was a crush at first sight for them, Marceline just couldn't resist the typical Qiu charm! For step one Marceline and Qiu are naturally very close but there is just a tad bit of a distance between the two simply due to the fact that because of their crush, Marceline holds Qiu on an extremely high pedestal and greatly admires them which ends up leading to Marceline never acting like they're on the same level as Qiu and letting them guide everything (basically, Marceline is accidentally feeding into Qiu's self-sacrificing behaviour, but don't worry! They grow out of it by step two I promise!!) Nevertheless, while the two go through many hardships they do end up on the other side as forever lovers <3

As for one Tamarack Baumann, she and Marceline are inseparable lemme tell you- From day one those two became the best of best friends and get along with each other better than anyone else. Their playful and carefree personalities and energy melded together perfectly which led to them almost immediately forming an unbreakable bond with one another that lasts all the way into adulthood. Whatever Tamarack needs Marceline will almost always be there, whether she needs a playmate, support, personal cheerleader, partner in crime, and whatever else Marceline will always be there. The only time there's ever any tension between the dynamic duo is if Tamarack's bossiness gets the better of her and annoys Marceline, but the two are always quick to apologize and make amends (and this pretty much stops being a problem entirely by step two as they both for the most part grow out of these habits)

And I believe that's all the main stuff you need to know about Marceline! Now I can actually talk about them more!! Thank you so much for taking a look at my MC and have a wonderful day!

P.S. Dividers by @cafekitsune