I think half of this fandom got wife-beamed by Shen Yuan, any comments on this tumblr user Shizunitis?
i acknowledge no such events, myself. i don’t need some narrative device or convenient trope or genre convention or whatever to fall in love with shizun. i’m sure there are people out there whose affections needed some prompting or a helping had to get going, but. like. couldn’t be me.
it’s not about the wife beam. it’s not even about what i want from shizun, or in what light i see him, or what he’s done for me, or any of that. it’s the very core of him, the tangle of contradictions and avoidant, endearing paths he takes in his navigation of the world around him, how he clings to it and the people around while adamantly claiming he isn’t.
he fucks up, and he’s snarky, and he’s a bit out of pocket at times, and that’s the most endearing part of him. the acting and the self-reprobations and his own wisdom, which he always overlooks or bats away, and the fumbling and the way every one of his action betrays just how easily his mask can crumble the more he’s made to fight for what he cares for, and how at the end of the day between his own pride and the love guiding his every action, it’s always the pride that he discards first.
also, he’s got a case of rejection sensitivity that would, and does, put both binghe’s and mine to shame.
a wife beam is, in itself, a… filter? i’m not sure how to put it, but a wife beam is too… inauthentic. as the reader hitching a ride in shizun’s brain (which thinking about makes me feel faint and like i’m about to burst with joy and entirely not normal about the whole thing) it’s kind of… impossible, i wanna say, to be fooled by its effects in any meaningful way.
it’s like putting on glasses just a bit different from your own prescription (guess who’s sleep deprived and doesn’t know how to put words together again. you get no prize and you have to feel sorry for me)—the shapes are there, but the exact definition of what you see is not right. the “wife beam” is not doing justice to shizun’s true self.
shizun is shizun. shen yuan or shen yuan as shen qingqiu, whichever, it’s the core of him that matters, and the wife beam makes him seem too… ideal. too untouchable. it’s like cling film. bothersome and unhelpful outside very specific circumstances and we all know shizun doesn’t belong in the kitchen. where he belongs is for me to think about while laying on the floor at 10am on a friday.
or, put in another, more obnoxious way:
this here is a naturally occuring phenomenon; every binghe loves every shizun, and i’m not about to betray the cause or turn away from my nature.
rate this for coherence i give it a solid 6.5 right now. i did a great job, considering.
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can’t talk about it
[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.
Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."
The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"
The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."
The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."
The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."
The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]
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it strikes me once again in episode 10 when crozier says that he "knows little's nature" and that he would be there with men and guns at day's end, he's absolutely right. he does know edward's nature. it's almost exactly what little said to rally the men, "we have hickey's camp outnumbered and outgunned." edward is ready to march all the men he can gather to rescue crozier, just as francis thought he would. what crozier doesn't know is le vesconte's nature. he doesn't know the nature of the men. he isn't aware that edward himself is being mutinied against because he's once again unable to see the similarities between himself and his second. because, just like in terror camp, he's placed expectations on edward without realising that the context in which edward is operating has very drastically changed. he's thinking of edward's loyalty but not edward's own duty to the men (a duty crozier shares!) and that edward's orders don't exist in a vacuum. it's just the debate about arming the men played out again but with debatably worse consequences
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