#today we went to walmart and they told me to pick something out and I wanted a skate tool but they no have and couldnt think of other thing

[lab-trash]

Today is mother's day and I got my dad a present. Multiple actually.

For background, my mom doesn't live with us. She moved out in 2021 and she moved back in with her parents just a couple months ago. She was neglectful when she did live here and I can't remember a single promise she ever kept.

My dad took over her (tiny amount of) responsibilities when she left and I think it made me appreciate him more. My dad wasn't there a ton when I was a kid, but that was because he had a job that required a 45 minute commute, and it's not like he was gonna get anything better to support our 8-member family. My dad has always tried his best.

(Fun fact: The day I bought a #1 Dad Mug at a thrift shop that matched my mom's very unique #1 Mom Mug was the same day my mom's mug broke. Talk about symbolism.)

In October he took in a homeless trans kid that my sister's partner was friends with. Both that kid and my sisters partner are going to be in our family pictures this coming Thursday.

At Walmart, I saw a pillow that said "mama bear" on it. And immediately I was like, I have to get this for my dad. For context, my dad is a bigger man with a big beard and long hair. He's a bear. He's also greygender and pretty much only uses his agab terms because, well, he's 45 and it doesn't really matter to him.

After seeing that pillow, I decided I didn't want to just do that. I got him a cuticle remover (he was talking about how he enjoyed it), some new hair things and hair clips (again, long hair), some oatmeal cookies that I know he likes, dark chocolate peanutbutter doves, and some liquid death, which we'd recently had a laugh over the existence of before promptly realising its actually really good. Lastly, a peanuts card that I picked up last minute.

I had to fit everything into a box from work so he wouldn't see anything and I brought it home under the pretense that my coworker had given me some miscellaneous items while decluttering. I brought it into my room, set everything up and put it behind my door.

I went around and had everyone sign it, only barely managing to get my sister before she left for work (unfortunately her partner left earlier than we anticipated, so I couldn't get them to sign the card) and I put everything into this tall bag with a unicorn on it. It was one of the only bags that was big enough to fit everything, and I just thought it was so perfect.

I was also planning on giving him a painting I did in middle school of the northern lights— I have all of my paintings from middle school tucked away on my bookshelf— but I couldn't find it.

I had to go to the store with him when he picked up my sister, so I couldn't just wait for him to get home. I had to wait til he went out to the van, sprint upstairs, grab this bag that's easily 15 pounds because of the liquid death, rush back downstairs, hide it between our couches, rush out to the van, then rush back inside when we got home and set it up on a couch for him to open.

It went over really well, which was something i was worried about right at the end there, since he'd asked me and my sister if we told our mom happy mothers day. I hadn't, but my sister had. They were talking about it when they entered and I beckoned dad into the living room for his mother's day gift.

Overall, I spent about $60 on the gift. And I don't regret it. One of the biggest things of note with my mom was that whenever we celebrated mother's day, I would always try to put effort into it to make her happy. And it was never... really appreciated. I remember one year I got this sort of clear trophy-wine glass thingy and put some chocolate in it, and I had all of her kids sign the lid. She didn't take it when she left. It was sitting in our kitchen (with half of our deadnames on it, might I add) until a few months ago. If she'd left it in dad's room, I think it'd be less hurtful, but she left it on the microwave cart where we all saw it every day. Mocking us both with our deadnames and our failure of a gift.

Buying for my dad wasn't like that. I know even if I fucked up one of the items, he'd enjoy even the existence of it at all. I could've just bought the card or just the pillow and he would've been happy. But I didn't, almost because of that fact. My dad would be happy with less, so he deserved more.

[someoneinjersey]

made it through the weekend and even was able to go get some things done before we went and picked Bizzy up from her babysitter. i got my oil changed and i wanted to throw a fit because it cost $68. Ten years ago I could go right down the road and get an oil change for less than $25. what the actual fuck. so goddamn aggravating. told my mom about it and how as usual i'm not even a week into the month and basically all my disability money is gone. all she said was "welcome to adulthood. sad." and i swear i wanted to reach through the phone and shake the shit outta her. last week or the week before, kate and i had a big not-fight and during our talk afterwards we discussed how since my mom is my single biggest trigger and/or the source of seemingly unrelated triggers, i need to go back and make more boundaries or reinforce the ones i tried to put in place a while ago. and i was like hm, okay, i'll have to think about how i can broach the subject of say, being in contact like once a week unless something comes up maybe. then the very next day mom hit me with "you know i think if you didn't come to see me in october i wouldn't have survived" and i just threw my fucking hands in the air and gave up. idk what to fucking do and i don't have a therapist anymore and i'm extra moody about it all right now because i started my period four days late.

in any case regarding money, i was able to not mooch off kate all weekend since we went away so early in the month, and so the only things i "treated" myself to (besides food which is 50/50 on whether or not it's a treat or making life easier or whatever) was a denim boiler suit from walmart, potting soil, four pots, and a grow lamp so i can repot and move the four plants that live on the kitchen windowsill. i've never kept plants alive this long so i don't intend on letting them die yet, so they're getting bigger pots and new soil and i'll likely move them into my bedroom. probably switch night stands and stick them on the one in the far corner with the grow lamp. i wish we had places to put them out in the house but A we get zero sun B the aloe plant and chrysanthemum aren't good for the cats and C i'm the only one that takes care of them anyway so they might as well just stay in my space. and it's also like, is it "treating" myself to something if it's keeping a living thing alive? idk. and the denim boilersuit looks so fucking cute i have no regrets spending $28 on it.

it's still incredibly weird drinking coffee every day but it has been helping my moods, surprisingly. i also make myself have a cup of tea (usually decaffeinated green tea) before bed. i'm still keeping up with my planner, though i'm letting myself slide when it comes to my little goal of reading every day. if i blow through too many stories too fast i burn out, so i'm taking my current book slowly and giving myself some grace to take days off. i've eaten like shit since thursday what with being away from home (and today being busy and too tired to cook) so i've noticed i feel not as good in that respect but i can get back on track maybe by tomorrow. maybe. still being exhausted and also being in my period doesn't really bode well for having the energy to make healthy meals or being able to deny my period mood cravings. i have a very unhealthy relationship with food. my feelings inside turn foul and evil if i can't have exactly what i want to eat when i want it if i have a craving. it might actually be psychotic.

i have some things i've been wanting to write, little fanfic ideas. or maybe not so little. but i can't activate that switch in my brain to actually do it. i have hang ups. a lot of them. bah

oh and i left my apple watch on the other side of the state like a fuckin champ. night yall

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3346

i woke up a bunch last night because i was too hot. it was kinda miserable.

i got up and showered and went to the eye doctor, where we were able to do tests and take images of my eyes so they have reference for what my eyes are like now. they measured my new prescription, and instead of buying new frames that were upwards of $300 each, i grabbed my old glasses from my car that i'd just seen the other day and brought those in. so i didn't have to buy new frames. so that was nice. it still cost me $360 for the lenses, though. very specific attributes. terrible. but i'll be able to see again, even if my right lens will be twice as thick as the left one.

also there's some lattice degeneration in my left eye now, too. so.

there's that.

after the appointment, i went and got indian food with my papa, which was a welcome change from not having lunch and from having to pay for everything myself. so that was nice.

i was also supposed to go see a student today, but he never answered me so i didn't go.

instead i went to walmart and picked up stuff that we needed and wanted at the house.

not much else happened today.

except for my enormous gay panic in the candy aisle at walmart.

a beautiful lady with long hair and an undercut, gauges in her ears, a floor-length black skirt with a slit to her hip with shorts underneath, and a black shirt with bigfoot on it was looking at stuff and i knew i had to say something.

i told her her entire aesthetic is what i live for, and i told her i wondered if her shirt was mothman or bigfoot, and she says "it's both of them!" her shirt had bigfoot mothman, nessie, the chupacabra, and the jersey devil on it. mothman is her favorite, too.

i spoke to her briefly and it turns out she's a tattoo artist with a studio nearby and that she's going to a tattoo convention in connecticut soon and will be putting together a flash sheet of cryptids. i told her she may be seeing me soon. because honestly? a beautiful woman who also loves mothman, who does tattoos? i'm extremely surprised that i was able to hold a conversation with her. honestly it was amazing. i'm pretty proud of myself.

i talked to joel a little today. i told him about the stupid thought i had today, about if you went to colombia and got kidnapped and held hostage by a cartel that that would count as an immersive language experience and you'd end up going home fluent in spanish. sure, at what cost, but it's entertaining for me to think about.

that's all. i'm a little bit bonkers.

[cryptidsurveys]

Monday, July 15th, 2024.

Do you have the right time set on your microwave?: No.

Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why?: I don't.

Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box?: We have a flat screen in the family room and a regular box in the living room. However, we basically never use either one.

Do you have a radar detector for your car?: No.

Have you ever been arrested? For what?: No.

Do you know how to change the oil in your car?: I don't, but this reminds me that I need to get my oil changed soon.

Have you taken your shower yet?: I have. I took one earlier this morning as well as when I arrived home from the animal shelter.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls?: They're not my favorite, but they're alright.

Do you have a printer? What kind?: Yeah. I think it's "Brother."

Are you seeing anybody currently?: I'm not.

Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?: Yeah. A habit I still, unfortunately, have not kicked.

Do you like it when it snows?: Yesss. Absolutely love it. I didn't really get to do much driving in the snow last winter because my abilities weren't yet up to snuff, but hopefully next winter. Even with the additional task of scraping my car windows, I still prefer winter over summer. Nothing could make me love this heat. D;

Are your ears pierced?: They aren't. I had them pierced a couple of times when I was younger, but they got infected and I just let them close up.

Where do you do most of your shopping?: Walmart.

Who do you live with?: I live with my dad and three kitties.

Do you have a big yard?: Yeah, both the front and back yards are fairly big.

Do you live in the country or the city?: I live in a medium-sized city. Also, I was driving home from the animal shelter yesterday and it hit me; maybe it was just the post-rainstorm grime affecting my perception, but this place is starting to look really rundown. Like, I know many of the homes and buildings are now 30 years older than when I first moved here, but still…things just look bad. We're all poor here, lmao.

Do you sleep alone or with someone every night?: Two of my kitties sleep with me.

Did you have a treehouse as a child?: No. I always wanted one, though. That and one of those ride-in Barbie Jeeps. My two biggest unfulfilled childhood desires. :')

At what age did you obtain your driver license?: Twenty. But I stopped driving for a long time and didn't pick it up again until last October.

Do you look in the newspaper for coupons?: No. We don't receive the newspaper anymore.

Did you get a big tax refund from last year?: No.

Do you like Slim Jim’s?: I don't think I've ever had one.

Is there someone you would love to punch right now?: No.

Did you grow up fast?: No. I feel like I'm still catching up to the expectations of adulthood.

What are you favorite kind of chips?: Jalapeno kettle chips, hot Cheetos, lime, sour cream and onion, and cheese.

Have you taken any medicine recently? For what?: Migraine meds.

What have you eaten today?: I had my usual oatmeal concoction for breakfast, a granola bar for a snack, and a salad with chicken and Korean BBQ trail mix for lunch.

Did you or are you going to wash your hair today?: I did.

Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm?: No.

Where did you go today?: I went to the animal shelter. I was there with Diane and Cassie, and Diane sort of stormed out of cattery without saying anything to anyone after she was finished with her tasks (which…isn't necessarily unusual). Cassie was like, "wtf, what did I do?" Like maybe there was some sort of minor miscommunication about something and Diane was upset about it. She also told me that one of the reasons Lucy didn't show up on Sat/Sun was because she didn't like being around Diane, and Cassie isn't particularly impressed with her behavior either.

I feel bad for Lucy because she really wasn't given the warmest reception. Diane can be tough to get to know and impatient with new employees, but I don't feel like anyone has really been all that nice to Lucy. I don't know why, either. They say she's quiet and sarcastic (which seem like great personality traits to me, lmao), and they have some complaints about her work ethic, but…idk, maybe some of her lack of enthusiasm comes from a feeling of not fitting in.

Cassie also told me that Alex seems like she's approaching her bullshit limit, and that if Alex quits, she's going to quit too because she doesn't like working with anyone else. She's like, yeah, I need the money, but I don't need this job specifically. Idk what's going to happen down the line. Alex has been hinting at quitting for a long time now, so it's one of those "I'll believe it when I see it" situations. I think she at least wants to finish her schooling and then go on to be a vet tech or something similar, but who knows. On one hand, I wouldn't be surprised if she was gone within the next year, but I wouldn't be surprised if she stayed either.

Are you sleepy right now?: Not really.

What color is your mousepad?: I don't have a mousepad. I just roll it around on my desk.

Should you be doing something else at the moment?: No.

Do you like your neighbors?: Yeah.

Do you have bedroom shoes?: I have slippers, but I don't have bedroom-specific shoes.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed?: No.

Has anyone given you flowers recently?: No.

Do you work Monday thru Friday?: I'm at the animal shelter Sun-Tues and Thurs-Fri.

Is there anything you are looking forward to tomorrow?: Yeah.

How many miles does your car have on it?: Around 65,000.

Is your alarm clock set to radio or beep?: N/a.

Do you like to go fishing?: No. Like, I wouldn't mind going with people and watching them fish (mostly for the opportunity to be out in nature), but I wouldn't want to participate.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently?: No.

Do you have more than 1 email address?: Yeah.

Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now?: Maybe by then I will be well enough + have my shit together enough to be ~actually employed~ at the animal shelter. Yes, despite all the BS surrounding it, I still want to make it long-term/lifelong thing.

Do you have central heating and air?: Yeah.

Do you speed while driving?: Sometimes a little bit, especially on the boulevard. The speed limit is 55, but the flow of traffic is closer to 60-65.

Is there someplace you would rather be right now?: Naw. Here is fine.

Did you build the computer you are using?: No.

Do you have good computer speakers?: They're fine.

Are you waiting on anything at the moment?: For my dad to get home.

Where is your favorite person?: He's at lunch with Jim.

Do you ever shop at Harris Teeter? No.

Do you like to burn incense?: Not anymore. I liked it a lot when I was a kid, though.

Are there any plants in your house?: No.

[rin-the-cat]

I have so much stuff I needed to do today. My last final was Thursday, I worked yesterday, tomorrow we are doing Christmas with my family and Christmas day we are driving down to visit my husband's family. Yesterday I was only scheduled noon to 5:30 but we had a last minute emergency come in (winner for the dumbest dog of the year award for drinking diesel fuel... Just wtf. Poison control recommended we give him a dawn bath in case there was any on his fur and he kept burping and I just about passed out from the fumes.) and then I went to Walmart to pick up some last minute stuff and by the time I got home I was so tired I just couldn't do anything. So that jusy left today to do everything. I slept in a little and when I got up my head was so fuzzy I just couldn't get my brain to work and every noise felt overwhelming. I finally went up and laid down for a while and when i came back down I put my earbuds in. (later when I was feeling better i took one out so I could hear what was going on around me, my 3 year old saw me put it back in the case and when he realized I was still wearing the other one he asked me for it and went and put it away, I told my husband, "I think I just had my ear buds revoked 😂"

So family tradition states we must have oyster soup for Christmas eve dinner even though only 2 or 3 people (out of 11) will eat it. We've always had atleast one other option for people who don't like it. The last several years my mom made lasagna, one regular and one vegan (for my brother and sil who are vegetarian and she has a dairy allergy) I said I would make the vegan lasagna this year (because I love it too) but that I wasn't going to make a regular one too. So priorities one and two today were to get the kitchen clean enough that I could make the lasagna without worrying about getting pet hair or something in it and to make the lasagna... And I did accomplish that much. N did dishes and I cleared off the counters. I got the lasagna put together and it's ready to bake tomorrow. N wanted to get the house picked up some in case anyone needed to stop by while we were gone (last time we went to visit his family my brother ended up scheduling the assessment while we were gone. We didn't know about it before hand and I would have spend the whole week fretting about it if I hadn't gotten a tooth root abscess to distract me. The whole week was kind of a disaster.) and he did get the living room floor picked up mostly, if we just vaccume a little it won't look too horrific. We both worked on some laundry and got a bunch washed but it's all just piled up in a chair. I haven't started packing and I still have presents to wrap but i brought the youngest up to bed and I can't convince myself to go back down. I just want to go to bed. N put the 7yo to bed before the 3yo and I came up and I haven't heard a peep from him since so either he fell asleep in M's room or he went straight to bed in the spare room after M fell asleep. N wants to take the kids to church tomorrow and I'd like to go but I might end up staying home to try and get stuff done...

[asunas-junk-drawer]

September 19th

i had no idea what to wear today. i just went with a black tank top and jeans with sneakers. i dont really think it matched. but its okay. i was particularly insecure about my hair though. i was trying to cut it with scissors as of recent during lunchtime, but my friend astro was being a bitch and ripped away the scissors from me. even when i told her that i was just trying to cut off my split ends, since im insecure…

i did stand up for myself tho… i told her to give them back to me and she actually did do that. she did back off thankfully. im working on trying to get her to understand boundaries as well. also today, she saw that i was texting some weird guy who goes to our school (she literally looked over my shoulder just so she could see……,,,,..). then she went on a rant and went ‘stop texting him, block him’. but like the thing is that im literally a lesbian????? plus i know that hes weird (well call him fei. hes kind of a weirdo who has a hentai pfp for his instagram acc. plus astro says that he watched hentai during class….). but like all he does is send memes to me…! plus i don’t even like him, but im pretty sure that astro doesnt know that since i made a comment about him being kind of fine. i never clarified if i was being serious or not so I guess thats kind of my fault. but she just kept on saying that and stuff…. im thinking of dumping her but the problem is that shes apart of my friend group and has a lot more influence over it than I do (meaning that if i do that, then i might get kicked out of it………). which is bad since i dont have any friends at school other than them, and i wouldnt say that im close with them tbh…….

when i came home, my siblings and parents weren’t there. i did things as normal, but i wanted to go into my old room (my grandma, who is visiting from mexico, is using my room right now, which means that I’m forced to sleep in the living room and have all my clothes in some spare room that we have….) so that i could search for some dresses for homecoming. while searching, i decided to get some heels that were inside of this little box. my grandma had some of her stuff on top of it, and I had to move it away to actually get to the shoes. Underneath the stuff, was fifty solid dollars. i stole it. It’s justified though because my grandma is a total bitch. i won’t go into too much detail, but she basically wants my dad to go back to mexico with her so that he can take care of her or something idk…. to reach this goal of hers, shes been trying to make my parents fight, so then she could get into my dads head and convince him to go back with her. She’s tried doing this once before.

when my parents got back home, my mom told me about stuff that happened with my grandma. She told me that while they were at the self checkout aisle for Walmart, that she forgot to scan a couple of items and technically stole from the store because my mom was distracted from my grandmas rambling. my mom got mad at my grandma because she didn’t like a doll that my mom picked out for my baby sister (the doll had a darker skin color). Basically my grandma was being colorist and kept saying that it was ugly just because of that…. (My mom literally has darker skin while my grandmother is racially white, but ethnically mexican). So yeahhh….

i don’t regret stealing those fifty dollars. My grandma is blind anyway…. It’s not like she’d notice lol

Listen to this. it’s a good song.

[crimsun-n-clover]

i went to dollar tree today

i was going for craft shit. i keep getting rejected for all the delivery jobs i want so i’m trying to make silly little things that i could sell.

i like dollar tree because it makes me feel like there’s hope. i see things and design my trailer in my head. i pick which mugs i’ll use with my coffee maker, which wildflowers i’d plant outside, and which little trinkets i’d get for the kiddos.

i have a whole family of stray cats that i love ever so dearly. usually i can’t get close to them, but i feed them, bring them water, and talk to them in the hope that it improves their lives.

when i left dollar tree, i went around the back of the building because of where i was parked.

(this isn’t the dollar tree i went to last time, because at that one i dealt with the HORROR of seeing sugar’s sister employed there. by horrid chance i had just gotten a utility knife off the shelf there to carry with me in my battle vest, so if any rumors go around about homicidal intent that’s where that shit came from.)

when i went to the back i found a scrawny little black cat and threw out a handful of treats. he ate them up and i parked to get a can of the good wet food. the cat straight up walked over to me like we were friends. i gave him the food and he let me pet him, talk to him, play with him, all that. he has a scratchy little meow and he’s so fun. he was weaving between my legs and climbing all over me, purring and making biscuits. if i walked away, he would follow me. it was amazing. i made a new friend. he had bald spots and scars, as well as an ear notch, but he wasn’t neutered so it was definitely from a fight. he’s such a sweetheart and would roll over and lay on his back and paw at me.

i felt like a monster leaving him.

his name is ronnie and i will now dedicate myself to moving out so i can bring him home. he looks so sick and sad, but he’s so sweet and full of life. he only ate half of the can of tuna and gravy i gave him he’s so LITTLE. i can’t stand to leave him out there in the florida heat and constant floods, but i know i can’t bring him home.

my mom would absolutely kill me, my dad would question how i got him (and hanging out behind buildings is apparently not good), my bastard quarantine dog would eat him alive, and my spoiled sweet baby cat would be so jealous that he’d lose his absolute shit.

so instead of having four things in the way, i’m cool with just the one. i think ronnie and my boy would get along fine. they both are weirdly shaped black cats with green eyes that i found as baby ferals. they’re both affectionate and have silly little meows. i’m sure they’d be fine eventually.

ronnie being a stray is a bit of a problem. he’s not safe and i want him to be safe, but he’s in a really scary part of town for an animal or human. bears n heroin n all that mess. he’s probably covered in fleas and has ringworm or some shit, so i’d have to get him vet care before i could take him home, and there’s no way i can convince my parents. well, maybe my dad, but i’m not going through him for shit. and he’s so over protective of me that he’ll lose his mind about me trying to socialize ferals in bad areas.

my dad got one of his cats the same way. he was playing a bar show and met a stray in the parking lot that let him pet it and weaved between his legs, and he told his band that if the cat was still there after the set, he’d take it home. he was kinda joking, but when the cat was still there, he took it in.

hell, my dad was selling drugs at my age. get over yourself steven. your carbon copy lesbian bastard child is entitled to a little bit of tomfuckery. i’m not even doing anything wrong by normal person standards, my parents are just strict.

sometimes i’ll say something about being a bad person, but then my last remaining best friend will remind me that i found two baby raccoons in a walmart parking lot, fed them, named them, and now try to go check on them regularly. it’s just what i do.

i’m sure i’m the reincarnated motherfucker that found a wolf and just decided “yeah okay you can bite me a little bit because we’re besties now. what do you wanna eat sweetheart i have chicken and all that. yes you can have my entire bed. i sleep on the floor sometimes anyway.”

241 more days of lying, planning, suffering, and waiting to bring ronnie home.

[atypicalley]

Interview for the Poet: Entry Level

So. Tell me why you want this. No, tell me why you deserve this. Tell me your birth date, your social security number, Your mailing address, your email address, your reasons for wearing a dress, or not, today. Tell me how You plan to fit into company culture.

Us? Well, we’re fast paced. Results driven, you know how it is, gotta synergize to break that paradigm, but, you know, We’re like a family here. We’ll circle back to that.

So tell me about your family. Your mother, who makes wonderful meatloaf but terrible steaks. First go at the grill, and you may as well have put charcoal to your lips. You both spat it on to the plate, and she said “Don’t tell father.” And please, tell me you told your father. We value honesty. Radical, if need be. You can take criticism, right? Gotta have a thick skin around here, but it’s all in good fun.

Tell me what you do for fun. Better, tell me how your fun relates to your work! Work hard play hard, am I right? Gotta show you’re dedicated, gotta show you’ve got that fire.

Oh, tell me about your fire, about the time you went camping without matches, and the Walmart was out of lighter fluid, but not out of easy options, which is to say: Tell me about gasoline. Tell me how it tastes on a marshmallow. Charred? Acrid?

How would you describe your remaining eyebrows? Pick the best word. Or the best memory. Tell me it tastes like the time you siphoned gas, but didn’t know how to siphon gas and spent the rest of the night vomiting, but hey: at least you vomited at your own house.

Tell me about your dreams — not the real ones, you can keep those for now, just the marketable bits you keep polished on the shelf beside your 3rd grade spelling bee trophy. You lost on the word “duo” and secretly hope someone will ask about it, secretly hope to make someone laugh about it. It’s a story, after all.

Tell me a story. Tell me something beautiful. Something True. Tell me what morphine feels like after pain, and know that I will not understand. But know that I will reach with all the knowledge of my few years and maybe somewhere the things we tell will cross over enough to make us family.

[dk-ghostmachines]

Something Like A Diary 2

I'm going through a grieving process. My therapist told me to make a list of things I would've told the person I miss.

12. This guy at Bible study told me I was effortlessly funny

13. Someone asked me if I liked daisies because of the three car fresheners I have with daisies on them. I told them I picked it at random.

14. There was a person in a bunny costume handing out candy in Walmart today - I guess to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.I’m assuming now that this person was employed by Walmart. Even so, as a once-and-future city kid that candy went right into the trash w/o passing go or collecting $200

15. Had a dream that Emma Stone and I were really good friends and she was playing Barbie instead of Margot Robbie. I got to hang out on set with her, but I got her in trouble because we were talking during a shot. Legitimately didn’t want to wake up

16. It’s so ridiculously easy to get a song stuck in my head these days.

17. Thought I saw you walking around, but it was just someone who walks like you.

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 12/30/2022

Last day technically in KY. I say technically because I do leave tomorrow, but at like 6am. 

I decided to skip the studio today and just WFH at your moms / visit your dad at some point. Unfortunately if you recall from yesterday’s blog, I broke my laptop charger. This sent me on a while goose chase around Lexington ti find one. I had originally looked it up, but for some reason the inventory at Walmart was inaccurate, so I called another local one and found one! 

Well, I thought I was out of the woods until I got to your mom’s, plugged it in, and realized that it was not actually charging. So, I came back, did a meeting on my phone / what was left of charge on my laptop, and then headed back out to Staples up the street who also said they had one. 

Well, they didn’t. At least not on the sales floor. The guy told me to come back and bring my laptop and he would see if they had an extra one laying around that was “used or forgotten” that I could buy off them. So, since everything in Lexington is close,I did that. This guy was SO nice. Seriously. He had a couple kids my age, so I think he felt empathy for me in this situation. I just have to say it’s pretty amazing what people cross paths in our lives, and it can be something as simple as making an impact by just genuinely trying to help me trouble shoot. Well, after a while of trouble shooting, we realized that it was not only the charger that was broken, it was also the battery itself that was not working. I am going to contact my IT girl to see if she can help me with this early next week. 

At this point it was already fairly late, so I just worked the rest of the day from my phone / until the laptop actually died.

And of course work was extremely busy today too. Oh well, I powered though it! One of the highlights of having to run around was that I found a super cute mustard yellow hat with a baby blue heart on it that says “KY, USA”. I obviously bought it. 

This evening I decided to go and hang out with your dad and Mic on the deck. I picked up Puccini’s at the restaurant that your cousin works at, but she was too busy to see me / for me to say hi. Anyway, I grabbed my food and we headed over. 

I do not remember if I mentioned this, but when we first got to your dad’s house, there was raccoon shit all over the deck. He had been gone for a while, so makes sense. Plus it was SO cold. Well, luckily someone came over and cleaned it all off. I am not sure if I would have been able to come over had they not. It was THAT bad. 

We ate dinner and talked / watched football. He got himself a fire pit for Christmas, so it was nice and warm. I did go into the house a couple of times to grab things form the kitchen, etc. By the end of the night before I left, I did go into your room. The hole in the wall was finally patched. Your stuff was organized, but he still kept your razor and toothbrush on the bathroom counter. You used to brush your teeth so aggressively LOL. SO many toothbrushes with you. I laugh at stuff like that. I miss stuff like that. I would have bought you a toothbrush everyday if I had to. You had so much heart left in you. You had so much. I miss you something wild. 

After that I went back to your mom’s finished packing, and now it’s time for bed. 

Things don’t get easier, they get manageable. I hate leaving KY. Every time. I have a sense of peace there that I cannot explain. 

And that is hard for me to come by these days. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols. 

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022 

[lovelivingmydreams]

Oooh. Oh my. Prince is a little upset it seems. Virgil does not mind.

He glanced at the tug pointing a gun at him. “Doll?” he asked unimpressed, wielding sass as his only weapon. “A pretty thing like you? Seems fitting. We gotta chat, Doll,” the tug said. Emphasizing the ‘petname’ but it held nothing of the endearment Virgil had used when he referred to his fan as such. “I’m not carrying any cash and my phone is crap. Sorry,” he stated. “And I’ve been looking at far scarier weapons than that Walmart piece of junk just in the past week so I’m sorry but I don’t scare that easily,” he added for good measure. “You might not. But we don’t need you to be scared,” the tug smirked as three others surrounded him slowly, acting very casual. The tug with the gun was standing in an alley a bit out of sight of the main road. Virgil was not going to let them drive him into that alley. Being somewhat in sight of other people was the safest option right now. “One of our palls got into some trouble recently. We think you can help us help him out,” the main guy explained. “Maybe. But I don’t wanna,” Virgil stated. It didn’t take a genius to follow the logic of this guy. Remy had probably played some part in the arrest and they thought that if they went after the seemingly powerless baby brother they’d have an easier time than the dream walking, nightmare wielding detective. “Still you’re gonna,” mr boss man insisted. “You do know that threatening me hasn’t worked out that well for anyone lately right?” Virgil asked. The tugs chuckled. “We checked. Your hero isn’t at his best today. You must’ve tapped him out or something,” one of the underlings grinned.

Virgil felt a little twist in his stomach. Could that happen? Prince had shown off a whole bunch of powers over the past 6 months, hence why Logan was so interested in him. He seemed to be unbound by the rules everyone believed there to be for powers. But logically speaking, there had to be a drawback, a consequence for all that. Prince had never seemed as formidable as he showed himself to be the past month, especially ever since ShockWave showed up. Virgil had told Janus that ShockWave should’ve taken Prince in account, but in truth even if he had, no one had known Prince could summon a storm into himself. Did prince have a fuel tank that could run out if he used powerful abilities? Had Virgil’s bad luck pushed him to his limit? “Damsel dear, dare not doubt me,” Virgil and his would be captors looked up into the alley where Prince stood above them on the fire escape all heroically. “your knight is here, and I shall set you free. You fiends messed with the wrong daring gent, I just so happen to have some anger to vent.” With that Prince clenched the hand he’d been waving around theatrically, but not without purpose it would seem. The underlings and the weapon were joinked off the ground with force and the leader was left trembling and alone. “No. You weren’t even using any powers today. You were weak!” he insisted. Prince floated down, his eyes locked onto his target. “I had no need, my adventures were rather tame. But for this dashing deed, my power burns like a solar flame,” Prince growled picking the tug up and hanging him by his jacket from the bottom of the fire escape.

“Consider yourself lucky indeed, I must play it by the book. But if for any reason I feel the need, I’ll gladly give you my right hook,” Prince huffed, making the leader whimper and shut his mouth wisely. With all the bad guys subdued, Prince turned to Virgil, floating just a little higher than him, with a rather annoyed frown. “What is it with you? Honestly, Are you doing this on purpose?!” he demanded. Virgil was a bit flustered and annoyed that he had been jinxing it after all. He leaned against the nearest wall, crossing his arms and looking away. “Of course not,” he huffed defensively. Prince took a deep breath. “I know. I know you don’t but seriously. Avoid the shady alleys at least or something. I am not blaming you but if I hadn’t happened to check this neighborhood…” he continued, still upset with him evidently. Virgil was truly annoyed now. “Bite me,” he hissed. Suddenly he heard a hand hit the wall beside him and Prince was towering over him. “Be careful Princess,” Virgil felt a shiver run over his spine, a pleasant one. “Or I just might,” the hero added, his eyes burning with a genuine worried furry. Holly… Was he into this? What the hell? Prince studied his face and suddenly realization and amusement flashed through his eyes.

Then he gave him some space. “I have to wait for the cops. Do you want to wait to or do you have somewhere to be?” he asked with a knowing grin. Oh frick. Part of Virgil wanted a lift, sure. Prince’s arms were not an entirely unpleasant place to hang out. He was very fit underneath that costume. Maybe he shouldn’t though… “Nah I uh. I’m not that far rom my place. I’ll be fine,” he explained, hoping he succeeded in hiding his blush. “Well, until next time then… Princess,” Prince grinned a bit mischievously. What was up with him trying to get to him all of a sudden? “Yeah, bye princey. Thanks again,” Virgil muttered as he walked away, trying to cool down. Okay so he was somewhat attracted to a mostly faceless hero. Big deal. He’d seen the fanpage. Many people thought he was dreamy and ever since people saw that he’d been holding back all this time and was capable of far more than they thought, that number of simps had gone way up. The fan section had been given a rating system to keep it safe for younger fans. At this rate this website was going to teach him a lot more about web design than his professor had. He’d had to skip ahead in the syllabus and even look up some stuff himself just to get it up and running. Downside of a big city commissioned project he supposed. Virgil found himself in front of his dorm, feeling a little nervous. He didn’t feel like lying to Roman about the whole thing, but he was also not very excited to admit that he’d gotten in trouble again. Well… Standing here was not going to change anything about the situation.

Virgil let himself in. “I’m home,” he called out a little nervous. “Virgil? You okay buddy?” Roman asked from the couch with Nox on his lap. “Um… Yeah. Fine just… A very quick little hold up after therapy, nothing major all things considered,” he muttered. Roman quirked a brow. “In short you jinxed it,” he concluded. Virgil nodded. “Learned my lesson. Not that I believe that my overconfidence changed anything but it’s more embarrassing when it happens after making it into a big thing,” he admitted. Roman chuckled. “I was thinking on ordering in. I’m in the mood for some pizza,” he offered. Virgil nodded. “Sounds good,” he agreed as he settled in and gave Nox, who was settled in Roman’s lap, a few pets. “How was therapy?” Roman mused. “Oh really good.” I decided I can trust you. “Remy and Emile are finally going on a date I think. Might get a family discount out of it,” he jested. Though he wasn’t sure if there were rules about dating your patients brother. Virgil still felt comfortable talking to Emil, but maybe it wasn’t allowed… Eh. Worries for later. “Well that’s nice for them,” Roman stated. “Yeah, maybe Remy will get off my back from now on,” Virgil mused hopefully. “Fingers crossed,” Roman nodded. “And I assume you saw your dashing prince today?” he teased. Virgil blushed a little but hoped it didn’t show that hard and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Poetry Prince showed up again,” he confirmed as he got up. “I’m going to record for an update tomorrow. I think you’ll get a kick out of it,” Virgil announced. Roman took the hint and dropped the topic. “Looking forward to it,” he called after him as Virgil headed to his room and got settled in his closet.

He had two things prepared for today. Two Prince stories as it happened, considering it had been so well received on stream. One intense battle fic where the civilian ended up patching Prince up after he narrowly defeated the badguy, or so Virgil guessed from the tags. He thought it would be fun to have some surprises. The second was one pretty much written about the escaped from a fairytale theory he and Roman had put on the website as a joke. It had a name reveal and everything. Rated spicey. So that would definitely be fun. He made sure everything looked in order and pressed record. Once he set up the video to be published the next day he left his room and met up with Roman for pizza and movie. Once the endcredits of their third disneyflick played Roman rose up and stretched. “I’m heading to bed,” he hummed as he approached Virgil and knelt down, slowly, to give Nox some scritches. “Goodnight princess,” he muttered lowly, making Virgil stiffen in surprise. What did he just? “Night Virgil,” Roman added as he got up and headed for his bed. Oh… Oh of course. He was talking to Nox. Why would he call Virgil princess of all things… Wait… Did he want Roman to… Nah… Tired. Still a bit all over the place because of the prince induced gay panic. Bed. Bed now.

When he woke up the next morning he got a text from Remy. “We are going on a date. What do I do!?” Virgil rolled his eyes and got up as he texted him back. “And you are asking me for advice? Do I have to remind you why I’ve never been on a date before?” he texted as he caught sight of Roman sipping on a cup of tea as he petted Nox on his lap at the dining table. “Hold on a sec,” he added. “Hey Roman. Where would you go on a first date?” he wondered, causing Roman to jerk and nearly spill his tea, sending Nox running due to the sudden disturbance of his peace. He must’ve not noticed him coming in. “W- Why do you ask?” he wondered flustered as he put down his tea. Virgil showed his phone. “Remy needs advice and I have zero experience on the subject,” he explained. “Oh… I see. Well… Um… Sure. I’ll help. Just… Give me a moment to get dressed and stuff,” his roommate muttered as he got up and headed to the bathroom. Virgil texted Remy. “Come over, we’ll have a dating intervention.” Virgil knew it wouldn’t take long. Remy might be able to hop from dream to dream and be here in like 10 minutes. It was 8 in the morning on a Sunday after all. There should be plenty people still asleep. Wanting to get as much amusement out of his brother’s situation as he could, and genuinely wanting to cover all his bases, he invited Logan over as well Remus and Patton. He’d gotten their numbers last time they hung out together. He texted Remus last, which was a good because his power went off right after it showed up as read, prompting him to guess that Remus might be using a shortcut through his phone. When his phone started glitching and showing images that looked like they might be crime scene pictures of some of his murder mystery stories he put it down on the table just in time for a demonic entity to crawl out of his screen with a sadistic grin, only to turn into Remus the moment he fully left the device.

“Hya. What’s this about a dating emergency?” Remus wondered intrigued. “My brother asked Patton’s brother out, finally. But I never went on a date so we’re going to put our heads together to help him out,” Virgil explained. “Patton and Logan are going to come by too. Not sure when they’ll get here. Logan usually gets an early start on the day no matter what, so he might be up. And if Patton doesn’t need to work the counter this morning he might be on his way as well,” Virgil reasoned. “Oh, this is going to be fun,” Remus grinned in a way that made Virgil wonder if he should have invited him. “Remus? You’re here too?” Roman wondered as he stepped out of the bathroom now dressed in jeans and a mickey shirt. “Why yes brother dear. The more the merrier after all,” Remus stated as he dropped himself on the couch. “Well I haven’t had breakfast yet and I know Virgil hasn’t eaten either. So I’m going to make grilled cheese sandwiches,” Roman announced. “Sounds good. I’m getting dressed real quick and I’ll be right back,” Virgil assured them as he ducked inside his room to get his hoodie, some jeans and a Cheshire cat shirt before rushing to the shower. When he came out with his contact in (he wasn’t ready for Patton or Remus to comment on it) Remy, Patton and Logan had arrived.

“Good. Everyone’s here. So as I mentioned in my text. My big brother grew a pair and asked Emil out,” he explained as he sat down at the breakfast table where a plate was set aside for him. Roman was sitting in his own spot, his breakfast already almost finished. Patton nodded with a smile. “I heard something like that from Emil last night,” he confirmed with a twinkle in his eyes. “Since neither of us have any idea of what we are doing I figured that at least one of you should be somewhat helpful. And together we might actually scrape together some decent advice,” he explained. “Virgil may I remind you that my experience with ‘romance’ is almost exclusively through the witness accounts of animals?” Logan argued. Virgil nodded. “Yeah, but that’s why you are a neutral party. You are the brain here. Just in case the rest of us get carried away,” he pointed out. Logan nodded thoughtfully and pulled out his phone. To do research no doubt. “Well… If no one else has a reason they feel they shouldn’t be included in this discussion…” It was silent, though Roman glanced at his brother with suspicion while Remus was just grinning from ear to ear. Virgil knew that Remus would probably bring lewd humor in the mix but he wanted to cover all bases.

“Good. Roman. Let’s start with you. Any advice?” Virgil wondered, though he wasn’t entirely certain if his roommate was experienced. He’d guess he was. There was no way this guy could have had trouble landing dates if he wanted. Roman blushed. “Well… I only really dated one person before…” he admitted. “That’s one more than either of us,” Virgil stated gesturing between himself and his brother. “Go on,” he encouraged. Roman nodded. “Well… On our first date I made sure to make it about them. So I made us a picnic with their favorites and we went to a museum exhibit I knew they’d like. And I took their cues on handholding and stuff. I think I did well. I mean we went on a second date and even stayed together for a little under a year or so after that?” he shrugged. Remus snorted, earning a jab from Roman. “What? They were so not your type. It was hilarious,” Remus teased. Judging by the way Patton’s mouth pulled into a little smile despite his attempts at not laughing he wasn’t exaggerating. “But you were the perfect boyfriend that’s for sure. Even got yourselves couple of the year nominations for the yearbook.” “What’s important, in my experience,” Roman continued with a  glare to his brother before turning to Remy. “Is being open to their needs. I’ll admit that I overdid that part at times. It should definitely be a two way street. But show that it’s important to you that he’s comfortable,” he concluded. Remy nodded. “Okay. That sounds very basic… But the basics are where things tend to go wrong the most,” he admitted. Virgil meanwhile was thinking about all that Roman had said.

“Well you got the ultimate cheat code. You have a catalogue full of the coolest gifts,” he pointed out, remembering how Remy would pull out Virgil’s favorite ice cream whenever he’d have a really bad day back when he was little. “How so?” Patton wondered. Remy summoned his see through catalogue as he stared at Patton through his shades. “Page 14…. Item 6. Teddybear,” he stated and in place of the catalogue appeared a teddy that made Patton squeal. He grabbed the stuffed animal and hugged it tight. “I lost this guy in the move ages ago! Where did you get it!?” he wondered. “A dream of a kid who saw something,” Remy shrugged. “Got lucky with my pick,” he admitted. “How long does he stay?” Patton wondered hugging the bear tighter. “Since it’s so important to you. Forever,” Remy stated letting out a yawn. “Oh, oh that’s perfect. Emil will love it so much!” Patton squealed. “Don’t overdo it though. Don’t wanna fall asleep 10 minutes into the date,” Virgil warned. Remy got a dopey grin on his face. “Maybe he’ll let me rest my head in his lap,” he mused. “Near his gun?” Remus wondered with a wicked grin. “Good choice. I like you. Wanna… Practice before you get boring and domestic?” he wondered suggestively before getting a hit over the head from Roman. “Emil doesn’t have a gun,” Patton offered helpfully, making Remus snicker.

Suddenly Patton jumped up and looked at his phone. “Oh look at that. Seems Emil wants to have a similar chat with me. Any advice I should give him?” Patton grinned helpfully as he picked up his jacket to leave. “So long as he is his adorable self? I don’t care,” Remy told him. Patton giggled. “Well… Since you were so honest. Emil has mentioned you. And he loves how sincere and sassy you are. So keep being sincere, don’t be afraid to make it fun. You’ll do great,” he advised before heading out. Prompting Roman to open his bedroom door so Nox could move about again.

“Well. I guess it’s time I bestow my wisdom,” Remus declared. “Please don’t,” Roman muttered under his breath as he leaned against the wall. “I have beckoned many a hottie to my bed. So if you wanna get laid, I’d be the best to ask.” Roman groaned. “Remy isn’t looking for a hookup Remus,” he insisted. “Well. Same basics apply,” Remus argued. “Don’t get too eager. No matter how hot he is, be on guard for red flags. And that’s not just for abusive bastards. I mean your personal red flags. To me that means anything that shows they hope for more than a hook up and a few very specific turn offs. Instant block. You figure out what makes you go ‘ew no’. You want it to be long term? Make sure he’s someone you can stand to be with long term. Or whatever,” Remus explained, leaving them all speechless. “That was… Surprisingly good advice. And not overly R rated,” Roman concluded. “Well I only give good advice bro. And I keep the R rated stuff to annoy you,” Remus grinned. “So far all advice seems to be in line with what I found,” Logan joined in, still looking at his phone. “I would like to add that, when it comes to the location of the date, it seems to be advisable to try something new together so you are on equal ground, allowed to be vulnerable and find common ground. Those seem to be the pillars of a strong foundation for a new relationship,” Logan read out.

Remus jumped up. “I got the perfect place!” he exclaimed. Roman nodded. “That actually might work,” he agreed. “What might?” Remy wondered nervously. “I work at the Bounty Hall!” Remus announced. Virgil’s eyes widened. He’d heard about that place. “The escape room complex?” Remy asked. Remus nodded and wrapped his arm around him. “I’ll give you a tour and you can pick out your fav. I’ll see you there in an hour,” he grinned before jumping into the tv. “Off to terrorize his roommate,” Roman sighed. “I assume my services aren’t needed anymore either?” Logan surmised as he looked at the screen Remus left through with interest. It seemed he had a new powerset he might want to run tests on. “Yeah, thanks for coming so early Lo,” Virgil said sincerely. Logan nodded. “It is no problem. It is always pleasant to spend time with you Virgil. And I find I do not mind the companionship of your new friends either. A good day,” he bid before leaving. “Well… Guess I’ll get proper breakfast and plan a date,” Remy mused. “See ya later BB. Roman,” he nodded before leaving as well. “And then there were two,” Roman concluded, pushing off against the wall and cleaning up the plates. “Yep. Plans for today?” Virgil wondered. “Clean up and then there is a certain youtuber who uploaded a new video,” Roman grinned. Virgil chuckled. “Are you sure you can handle it darling?” he wondered dangerously. Roman stuck out his tongue and moved to the kitchen. “By the way, RavenKnight was apparently spotted yesterday. There’s a tweet with a ton of traction going around,” he announced as he started washing the dishes.

Virgil checked his Raven Twitter page and found that Roman was right. The fan had tweeted about meeting him and linked the audio file and fans were loving it. She didn’t give details no where and when. Just that he was nice. “Cool,” he noted as he picked up a towel and helped drying the dishes. They settled into the couch and Roman pulled out his phone to listen to the newest update while Virgil updated the website with the pictures and the article ‘Billy Baker’ had supplied. Occasionally he glanced up and was happy to notice that Roman seemed to be enjoying the Prince stories. When asked about it he’d been pretty positive but in a casual way. Virgil was guessing that he’d downplayed it. It was a few little things. Something in the way he wrote about him. And how Patton had chosen Roman’s favorite cupcake flavor for the Prince themed pastry. Why hide that he was a fan though? Virgil could come up with a few reasons…

Suddenly he looked up and he saw that Roman was no longer listening and no longer in a good mood. What? “Hey,” he said as he nudged him with his foot. “What’s with the sudden mood.” “Ethos? Really?” Roman asked almost insulted. Virgil frowned. Ethos had been the name the writer had picked for Poetry Prince. “Prince’s name?” he asked. Roman scoffed and rolled his eyes. “His name is Not Ethos,” he grumbled. Virgil frowned. “How would you… Wait…” Roman’s eyes widened and the blush on his face confirmed his suspicion basically. “You are one of those headcannon stans aren’t you?” he concluded. Roman became even redder. “I never let a hate comment I swear!” he pleaded. Virgil shook his head. “Dude, it’s fine if you are like crushing on him, I get that.” Roman would fall for a guy like Prince. “But not everyone’s going to have the same head cannons as you. If it bothers you that much, write your own stuff,” he suggested. Roman looked like he was about to argue, but then changed his mind. “Okay,” he nodded softly. “There crisis averted… By the way. Is it okay if I do another stream next week? I was thinking of making it a weekly thing,” he explained. Roman shrugged. “Sure. It doesn’t really bother me,” he stated. “I’ll bet it doesn’t,” Virgil grinned teasingly getting a pillow to the head.

He would love, love to say that the rest of the whole next week went by without a hitch. That the most drama he had was on his twitter page when he made the announcement of the weekly streams. It was not. But the pattern remained the same. Something potentially life threatening happened and Poetry Prince was there. He had forgiven him for the sass last time it seemed though he called him Princess at least once every encounter just to see if it still got to Virgil, it did. Virgil probably imagined that he was held a bit tighter to the hero’s chest when he did that though. But speaking of strong arms… Wednesday brought something… Interesting. Virgil came home to find the twins playing Mario Kart. Roman was winning by a lot. The two were bantering as brothers do and when Remus lost he tossed the remote to the ground and cursed. Or Virgil thought he cursed. He wasn’t sure if what Remus said was even a language spoken on this planet though.

“That’s it. Push up contest! Now!” he demanded. Roman threw his head back and laughed. “If you want to get your but kicked again that bad,” he allowed as he looked up. “Want to join us Virgil?” he wondered as he got up and took off his revealing a sleeveless shirt. Virgil shook his head as he leaned against the dinner table to watch the twins get ready to have their contest in the space between the table and the door. Roman right in front of Virgil. “No. My max is like, 5,” he admitted. “Fine, you can look and make sure Ro doesn’t cheat,” Remus grins with a wink. Had he noticed Virgil liked to appreciate Roman’s physique? “Sure,” Virgil shrugged as though he didn’t care much. “Um… Ready? Set. Go!” he said. And with that the twins started doing push ups in perfect synchrony. Virgil was not opposed to getting a good look at Roman’s arms straining under the exercise. They got up to 10. 20. 30. A mind blowing 40. Remus capped off at an impressive 50. Roman did not let himself stop before he got to 60 though. Sweat dripping of his forehead and his chest heaving with exhaustion. But a grin on his face as though he just won Olympic gold. “Face it Rem. I’m the man,” he told his brother. “You’re the ass,” Remus countered. “Right Virgie?” Virgil tried not to show just how much he’d enjoyed watching that. “You’re both in way better shape than me,” he muttered, making the brothers laugh. Virgil might have dreamt about Roman carrying him that night. He just might be able to.

There was still no sign of ShockWave and the public started to think that he’d taken the L. But Virgil and pretty much anyone in his direct surroundings felt it was calm before the storm. “Should I walk you home?” Adam wondered on Friday. One of the reasons they’d initially planned to room together was because they were getting the same major. Adam was the opposite of the classic computer nerd stereotype in other ways than Virgil was. He was like over a head taller than Virgil. Broad shoulders and big buff muscles. Not a bodybuilder but well past athletic which had Virgil’s personal preference. The muscles were a fairly recent development. In highschool he’d stuck to Virgil and Logan to hide from bullies. When he met Eva, his girlfriend (yes everyone had made that joke), his confidence increased by a lot. And his muscles seemed to follow. “Hmmm… No it’s fine. I don’t want you to be caught in a crossfire if something does happen. I’ll be fine,” he promised. Adam hesitated, but nodded. “I’ll walk along a bit though. Need to go the same general direction for the dorms,” he explained. Virgil nodded in understanding. “So. Has Remus driven you mad yet?” Virgil wondered. Adam had gotten Remus in Roman’s stead due to the little mishap at the start of the year. “Honestly, aside from the entrances and the seducing… He’s a great roommate. Like he keeps things clean and he asks if it’s okay to bring someone over, and if I say no he’s quiet when he does get back. So I could have a worse roommate all things considered. He’s super respectful of me and Eva and gives us space. He checked in with her if she’s okay with his flirting. He never actually makes me uncomfortable… I’d almost consider taking him up on the offer. You know me and Eva are open about that stuff.” Virgil nodded. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to do that if he ever managed to get himself a boyfriend, but Eva and Adam managed to make an open relationship work. He was happy for them both.

“How bout you and Roman? Raising a kitten going okay?” Adam wondered. “He took her to Logan’s boss today for a check up and some shots. I assume he’s bought her a whole castle to make up for it,” Virgil chuckled. “That’s sweet. We should get together sometime. You know. I get to know my roomie’s brother and my buddy’s roomie. Roman gets to know his brother’s roomie. Could be fun. I can bring Eva along,” he explained. Virgil nodded. “Yeah. Might be. We’ll see,” he shrugged. “Cool. See ya Monday,” Adam waved as they split paths. Virgil waved back and headed home. Tomorrow was streaming day. Roman had settled in the livingroom this time, since he wasn’t hiding that he was listening along anymore. Also that way Nox had someone to pay attention to zir while Virgil was doing his thing. “Welcome again my darling chaos gremlins. It’s been a week, so I’m so glad to be here with you guys today. I see you guys have found my twitter and have been so lovely over there.” Messages flooded his inbox and he chuckled. “Oh wow, I see you are hoping for your own encounters with me in the wild. You’ll have to be lucky though,” he smirked. “Today will be a mix of Q&A, voice requests and yes, maybe a storytime at the end. A link should be up to a poll where I put up all the fics you requested that I felt I could do for you this week. If things go well I might plan a bit more time in for next week…” Virgil read the comments again and chuckled. “I don’t think I’d have to go as far as to be quite so… Extreme in keeping my roommate quite. He promised to be good.” Virgil assured his audience. “Well. Let’s get going with some Q&A. Shoot,” he said. Questions streamed in. Some a bit too personal for him to answer. Some he could do. He told them a bit about what got him in voice acting who his favorite characters were growing up. And then he spotted a ton about Roman. Well, if the people want it… “Hey! Dude! Come over for a minute. My audience is curious about you,” Virgil announced. He heard some stumbling in the distance and then his closet door opened. “Welcome back to the closet my friend,” he grinned as Roman found a spot next to him. “It’s much cozier than I thought it would be… Um, hi everyone. Call me… Dove,” Roman said. “Gaaay!” Virgil laughed. “Why very astute Raven. What gave me away?” his roomie wondered. “Literally everything about you,” Virgil said. Roman shook his head and chuckled. “See what I have to put up with?” he asked the chat. Immediately getting support. Virgil chuckled. Deciding to win back his audience. “Two bro’s sitting in the voice room, no feet apart cuz they’re both gay,” he sang. “You’ll regret that,” Roman announced. Virgil rolled. “Why? What are they gonna do?” he scoffed. “I warned you about jinxes.” Roman said ominously. Virgil felt like he might regret that one indeed.

@just-my-interpretation @naturallyunstablegamer @meowthefluffy @moonlightshow00 @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

Raven poetry

Chapter 9: Jinx

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[darkocarina]

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[harlowsslut]

12- welcome home with Jack

"Miss You"

Prompt: "Welcome Home"

Word Counter: 989

Married!Jack Harlow x Reader

Summary: You and your daughter haven't seen Jack since his tour started.

Warnings: None. Just Fluff:)

It was 9 in the morning. You were up all night trying to put your 4 year old to bed. So all you wanted to do right now was sleep in. You get about 5 minutes of that before your phone rang. "Hello" "Yikes! You sound exhausted".

You could tell who it was just by the voice, it was Jack. "Yeah i was up till twelve trying to get Mya to bed, remind me to never let my mom babysit her" you exclaimed thinking back to what happened. You had some errands to do and didn't wanna bring Mya, so you dropped her off at your moms. When you went to pick her up she was more hyper then a puppy who wants a treat. Turns out she lied to your mom and said you let her have candy.

Which is true, you do let her have candy..just not a whole bucket of it. Which is what she told your mom. "Why?" "I'll tell you when you get home, which what time do you think you'll get here?" you asked. "Around 5 probably". You turned around so you were facing the camera.

"That's not bad”. You and Jack talked for an hour before you heard Mya call you. "Oh that's Mya..i gotta go" "Tell my little sunshine i said hi" "I will..love you bye" you called walking to Mya's room. "Love you too" he said before hanging up. "Yes Mya?" you exclaimed opening her door. She was playing with her dolls. "What's for breakfast?" "I don't know what do you want?".

She dropped her dolls and ran over to you. "Pancakes!" she giggled. You picked her up and set her on your hip. "Pancakes!". You sat her on the couch while you went to get the pancake stuff ready.

“Guess what Mya?" "What?" she asked jumping on the couch. "Daddy comes home later today". "YAYYYYYYY!" she yelled running around the house. Jack and Mya had a special connection. Sure you and her did to since your her mother.

But theirs was different. Whenever Jacks home, they are inseparable. So when Jack went on tour and she couldn't come, you had to hold her from running after the car. Sure they had facetime but it wasn't the same. "Yep! But not for awhile, so in the meantime me and you are gonna go out" you said happily while flipping a pancake.

You finished the pancakes and ate them, then went on your first errand. Mya insisted on you guys matching for the day. So you wore a white sundress with sunflowers on it with black converses. And Mya wore a black sundress with sunflowers on it and her white converses. She also whore her bucket hat Jack got her.

It was plain white with a drawing of her and him. The first place you guys were going to was the shoe store. Mya needed some new shoes. "Ok. Mya we are here to get 1 pair of shoes" you said while parking the car. "hmmm k" she hummed watching her show.

You ended buying 3. Which is not as bad cause one was Mya's, and the other 2 were yours and Jacks. Next stop was the grocery store. Since Jack was coming home you wanted to make his favorite meal. Spaghetti.

So you grabbed Mya and put her in the shopping cart. It was pretty busy, and Mya doesn't like to sit still for long. She started to run her hands along the stuff on the shelves, and take stuff out of the cart. You didn't want to take her out cause she has a tendency to run off. Not like walk a little faster then you run off, like full on hide and seek in the Walmart.

"Mya do you want something?" "Ice cream!" she practically yelled. "What type?" "Me and daddy's favorite" she exclaimed. Mint chocolate chip. "Now if i get this you have to sit still..deal?" "Deal!" she answered. Luckily you weren't in line for too long.

"Mya what should we do when we get home?" "Dance party!" she screamed. "Ok dance party it is". Dance party was exactly what it sounded like, you would put on some music and you two would dance. You more often then not play Jacks songs, you and jack don't mind if she listens to his songs cause she doesn't understand most of it and you have taught her that it's not ok to say the words. When you got home it was around 2, around the time Mya usually takes a nap so you decided to use your dance party to tire her out.

About halfway into the 4th song she was out. You picked her up and took her to her room. You almost tripped over a barbie. It was almost 5 so you started cooking. You were almost done when the doorbell rang.

You opened it almost burst out crying. It was Jack with a bouquet of flowers and chocolate. You ran and hugged him. You didn't wanna let go..afraid he would disappear. You didn't even know you were crying until Jack told you to stop.

"I missed you" you said walking back into the house. "I know..there wasn't a day i didn't think about you and Mya" he answered putting the flowers in a vase and already eating the chocolate. You turned around from cooking the pasta. "Hey! I thought to chocolates were for us" you chuckled. "They are" he mumbled putting the lid back on. "Now where's my sunshine at" he giggled.

"In her room". It was about 10 minutes later when you heard Mya scream "Daddy!" at the top of her lungs. "Mommy look who it is" she said pointing to Jack. "What no way!" you said sounding surprised. You guys finally ate dinner and watched a movie. It was nice finally having Jack back. And you knew Mya was happy to have her bestfriend back.

A/N: I did not plan on this one being so long, but its worth it. I love this one by far one of my favs. Also first post of the new year.

[thecupcakewritesmorethings]

Meet the Ossifers

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull x Reader

Plot: Jesse, currently acting as Richard Ossifer, returns to his fake spouse and their son on Halloween afternoon after a successful surgery. He proceeds to get a wholesome surprise.

Contrary to what one might expect, Jesse quite enjoys the concept of Halloween. Okay, sure. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the adult costumes unless he was actively hunting... And YES, a thousand roving little packs of children being lead around by their parents or older siblings could get annoying...

However, the safety and sanctity to be anything, or anyone HE wanted to be was a delight in of itself. More often than not, however, he choses to remain the one thing he doesn’t need a costume for; himself.

The sentiment may have been a little gaudy, but it rung VERY true for Jesse... Or “Richard Ossifer,” to his new neighbors. When else was the normally bandaged, mute man, going to enjoy the comfort of wearing his mask and suit out in public without it activating some fight-or-flight instinct in the general populace?...

... And in a way, he was happy he chose today to schedule his dental surgery.

Spann had driven him too and from his appointment. As much as it killed his machismo to not sit in the driver’s seat; he had to be careful. So the backseat, reclined as far as he could go would have to do. From behind the confines of his ace bandages he could feel his cheeks swelling to an otherwise alarming degree.

He tried not to think about how fucked up he’d look.

Instead, he focused on the world passing by outside. He surveyed the decorations in the shop windows, watching all the pumpkins and the sugar skulls and streamers. It wasn’t dark yet, but on occasion he’d pass by someone in their costume about to go out for candy.

Jesse should have reminded you to pick up candy... The good kind, too. Not the fun-sized stuff... Oh well. Maybe he’d be able to convince you to go get the goods after he arrived. They weren’t that far away from the house...

Wait. Anesthetic make braincells go brrr- he has a PHONE. In a few seconds he is patting himself down, earning a quick glance from Spann as he withdraws his phone.

“Is something wrong, sir?”

He shakes his head and sends you the message. Spann, he guessed, was more than capable of walking into a Target or Walmart to get candy- but he needed to be home. He’d not bother her with it.

It’s Halloween. Do we have good candy?

It takes a few moments for you to respond. When you do, Jesse feels slightly baffled.

Yeah. Cole and I went out and got costumes last week, don’t you remember?

No. He didn’t. Did Spann go with you? He wracked his brain trying to recall you requesting--.... Oh. That’s right. You had asked him for a few hundred the week prior for something. You had told him- but by now your fake relationship as his happy little house-spouse had become iron clad. He never batted an eye when you asked for some pocket change.

What candy did you guys get?

A variety pack.

It’s a bunch of fun-sized stuff isn’t it?

You haven’t met Cole high on sugar. Trust me. You want fun-sized.

Oh. Now Jesse had to jump to your son’s honor. It had been a happy little coincidence that you had a young son when Spann had scoped you out. You had been... Struggling, to put it mildly, when Spann found you. It had been a risk when Jesse suggested that acting the part of his romantic partner would help keep you and your child afloat. Thankfully, you listened.

Well. You haven’t met Richard short on sugar.

Didn’t you just get out of surgery?

I recover well.

Cole was only six, but by god. Cole was impossibly ideal for a child. Sweet, respectful for a child his age, thought “Richie” was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Jesse had been hesitant, initially when he discovered you had a child. His plan would have gone to shit if Cole didn’t like him, and even if Cole HAD he wasn’t... Sure how he’d feel around kids since his Ex’s death.

Note to self: hide candy. From you.

Traitor.

Jesse returns his gaze to the road and watches for a moment as he lets any unease in his stomach uncoil. He’s the type to get motion sick if he’s looking down in a car, and the cocktail of pain meds and worn off anesthesia is making it worse.

After a few seconds he lifts his phone again.

What costumes did you get?

You do not respond immediately and it... Well, this is the ONE thing that annoys Jesse sometimes. Half of the time this is the only way he can talk to you, and though he knows you aren’t ignoring him on purpose: it’s hard to not feel that way sometimes.

You’ll see.~

Oh now he was curious.

... What are the costumes?

Trust me, you want to see them when you get back. We’re already in them!

Now Jesse was getting... Annoyed. Where you purposefully trying to be obtuse?

Pics?...

A thought occurred.

It’s nothing raunchy is it?

What? No. Cole picked them out!

However, his insistence was paying off. 

Let’s put it this way; we match!

... “We Match?” What the heck was that supposed to mean. Were you trying to be cute, and wound up being obtuse about it?

Jesse detested this guessing game, but before he pulled out the financial benefactor card, you recovered.

You want me to make you a shake?

Fuck yeah.

His eye hurt too much now, and his stomach was up in knots. Jesse didn’t like the idea, but he hated the idea of vomiting in Spann’s vehicle even less. He reclined and tried to relax the rest of the way home.

As tempting as it was to close his eyes, though, Jesse couldn’t. He and his little makeshift family lived in the back of a large suburban neighborhood of well-to-dos. Hiding in plain sight, really. Which meant you and Cole were essential. As far as your neighbors knew, your veteran of a boyfriend had been planning to tie the knot with you for quite some time... But the car accident had left his face burned and ruined, and so the two of you had decided to postpone it. Still, Jesse had been happy when you never corrected anyone who called you Mx. Ossifer.

There were lines of Mc-Mansions and slightly decorated lawns, but nothing too crazy for the Halloween Holiday, even as kids and their families dragged out red wagons to cart around toddlers and their candies... Maybe Jesse could have paid a landscape artist to decorate. You had only done so much on your own.

As Spann pulled up into the circular driveway of your shared home, Jesse had only been reminded that you hadn’t done too much to decorate. A few foam jack-o-lanterns at the doorstep, a few small pumpkins littered along the walkway, and orange lights replacing the walkway lights.

Spann helped him out of the car, and moments after stepping out he felt his entire back let out a symphony of pops. God he was tired. Still, the procedure would help him in the long-run... Plus he had a shake waiting on the inside.

After taking a few uneasy, sore steps, Spann offered her shoulder to help Jesse in, and minutes before they got to the French doors of the house, Cole opened them and stepped out.

He was wearing his Sunday best, a gift from Jesse for his birthday, excluding the dress shoes which had been swapped out for much more comfortable tennis shoes. He stared up at Jesse through a metallic half-mask shaped like a skull, with the other half of his face painted to look like a skeleton.

“You’re BACK!” he said to Jesse as he ran forward and went-- straight for the knees-- and hugged Jesse. “I missed you, Richie!”

Jesse could die and go to hell and he’d be happy. Forget the shake. There was a kid less than ten years old who was dressed up as a fancy skeleton holding his knee. It took all of three seconds before said child was scooped up into Jesse’s arms and safely clinging around Jesse’s neck.

You were soon to follow, a glass and a large straw poking out of it. You were- also in costume, but unlike Cole your face was all makeup to match the painted parts of his face...

Jesse continued to assess you with one eye while you approached with the shake. You had been dressed up nicely as well. Maybe not as corporate and formal as Cole, but you dressed well. Head-to-toe in black, bordering slightly on too form-fitting for a funeral, but far too dark for casual house-spouse attire.

A makeshift family of three Skeletons. You, looking like a modern-day Adams, Cole looking like a mini, corporate Grim Reaper... And of course... Jesse himself.

No. Not Jesse.

Richard. Richie Ossifer.

“Chocolate shake?” you asked. “Since your teeth will hurt otherwise?”

As soon as Jesse had picked up Cole, he sat him down and began typing away on his phone. He held it up to you frantically.

What’s this for?

“Oh, well.” Instantly through the skull paint he could see your face warp to a pensive frown of unease. “Cole SAID he wanted to be like you for Halloween, and when I saw the half-mask and the face-paint I came up with the idea. I didn’t...” your eyes turned to Spann for a split second. “I didn’t over-step did I?”

No. No you had not.

Jesse came forward and pulled you into an uncharacteristically emotional hug as Cole hugged your legs. “Yayyyy~ He likes it!~”

A perfect little cover-family. Jesse may have needed this cover family, but in that moment he wished so desperately that a fraction of the lie was a truth. To come home to an understanding spouse, a loving step-child... God damn, Richard was a lucky son of a bitch, and he wasn’t even real. Right now, though- the two of you were.

Pictures.

Jesse quickly released you and turned to Spann who was busy... Processing this. His hand shot out with his phone.

Spann held the phone in her hand and gave a sort of half-frown. “Sir, you’re not... You’re not in your mask.”

FUCK SHE WAS RIGHT.

Jesse stormed off into the house, maybe faster than was probably safe on as many pain meds as he had in his system, but the man waltzed right up to his stairs before slowing down. Cole passed him up. “I’ll get it! In the bathroom?”

The man nodded, lifting his hands to sign “Shelves”. Cole had done good learning a few spare ASL phrases... Still wouldn’t sign back to Jesse but, well. He’d take a win where it mattered.

“OKAY!” Cole hollered halfway running to Jesse’s room already as you and Spann entered the house.

“Sir, you just came out from under the knife. You should probably sit down.”

Jesse shook his head and signed HELL, then proceeded to shake his head. Hell no, he said. Had to get pictures with his boy and his spouse. It was actually odd, Spann let out a humored chuckle-snort. Clearly she found the idea cute as well. 

Seconds later Cole came running down the stairs with the Chromeskull mask in his hand and handed it to the tall man on the way down. “Pictures! Pictures!”

Jesse bobbed his head to the chant and held hands as they descended the stairs with a jaunty little step.

In no time at all Jesse grabbed your arm and pulled you up a step to get better into the photo and Cole was up in his arms. In three seconds Spann would take no fewer than five pictures of “Richie” and the rest of the Ossifers. In twenty minutes, Jessie would convince Spann and you to let him stay up to pass out candy while you went out with Cole. When you’d return several neighbors would tell you how adorable your family Halloween theme was.

An hour after that the paint on you and Cole’s face would be hastily washed off and soup would be had for dinner. Your son would be asleep on the entertainment system and Spann would leave. Jesse would help wake Cole long enough to get him into his bed and the two of you would go to your own separate rooms.

If it hadn’t been for his aching jaw, Jesse would have been brave and tried to coax you into spending a little bit more time together... Put on a horror movie. Maybe be coy and get closer to you, or pull you a little closer if you’d allow it... But his jaw was aching, and he desperately didn’t want this day to end with him over-stepping any boundaries, so he went to his bed alone and looked at the photos once more... He’d get a few of these printed for the home office.

Richard Ossifer was a lucky man. A lucky man indeed.

[crimsun-n-clover]

picked up a friend from school.

we went to a park and carved our names into the picnic table with my keys. we listened to ozzy and anthrax, and went adventuring in walmart. sword fight, race, and minor heist. it felt good to just be shitty teens for a bit.

we met with my parents for dinner.

on the way there she told me that sugar called herself an ally when talking about pride month. she’s identified as bisexual for years, and i know it’s normal to change your label, but something about this makes me feel weird. she’s becoming the thing she promised to run away from with me. she’s had plenty of girlfriends, but i know that doesn’t really mean much if you change your identity.

i felt almost sick. really? i tell a girl i loved her in whatever way i can and she obviously doesn’t care enough to draw the line with bigoted people, then she starts acting weird and aggressive to everyone else i know, and now she’s calling herself straight?

is there something so filthy about me like i always thought? is she right? was i just such an abomination that she decided she’s only interested in straight, white, cis, allistic male versions of me?? they’re all creative, cat lovers, artists, musicians, protective, make a lot of jokes, all that. i guess i’m just too much of a mistake to be desirable.

yesterday the friend i was with today was doing stupid stuff with me, as per usual. we gave each other horrific henna tattoos and laughed about it. i drew a really fucked up cat on her hand, and sugar asked about it today. when told that i drew it, she goes “oh,” kinda grossed out, and turns away with an eye roll, whispering something under her breath.

i was almost proud that my name could cause such a reaction. i love it when people hate me for being myself. yes, go and pout over your lack of personality and taste. call me a slur that’s actually correct, and then go sulk with your boring little friends. you’ll never be me.

but now that i’m not with someone to joke about it, my chest hurts so deeply that it feels like my rib cage is bruised on the inside. i feel so worthless. after seven years of being close, now i’m just some fucking roach on her floor to stomp and be repulsed by. fuck you sugar. fuck you and your psychological effect on me. you don’t know how to love. you’re becoming a goody two shoes swiftie cutesy aesthetic version of your abusive fucking mom.

and to think i was worried about you? how i still am? i would give up my right hand just to clear you out of my mind. you’re sick. you’re awful. you ruined my life, waking and sleeping. i hope it hurts you like my friends think it does. i hope you don’t sleep either, because i wasn’t even wrong in our argument.

you used me for validation because i loved you. you flirted with me for the fun of creating tension like in your shitty colleen hoover books. you held me just to have something to do with your hands. you walked me out the door just to get away from the noise. you listened to my music just to shut me up. you partook in things you disliked to make me think that my interests matter to someone, because you pity the freak faggot who cares a little too much. you promised you’d never leave just to get me to fuck off.

if all of that isn’t the case, then what the fuck is wrong with you?

i want bad things to happen to her. somehow i still love her though. it’s so wrong in my mind. i want to show up and get her out of any trouble she manages to get into, take her to dinner like i promised that one time (when she sent me borderline nudes for some fucking reason), and give her a goodnight kiss before i go home to listen to old jazz that makes my chest buzz with affection. but still, i want her to cry in her bed, knowing what it was like to be held by me there.

i want her to realize that maybe, just maybe, she’s a bad person at her core. i may be violent, an asshole, a criminal, a dropout, an atheist, a dyke, a political extremist, and another trashy musician with nothing original to say. but i love so deeply. i refuse to admit it, but i would do anything for anyone who even means a little to me. some cashier i talked to once needs help? i’ll rip off my limbs just to get them out. they showed me kindness and were genuine, and that’s enough.

she’s a pacifist, someone who fusses over every little change in your tone, such a law follower that it got on my nerves, a member of the national honors society, the child of italian catholics, “straight,” a social democrat, and another person with a pencil and some time, but she only cares about herself. i see that now. she does everything for assurance, validation, a clean image, the title of “good friend,” and kind words from her peers. she doesn’t actually care about them enough to ever do anything for them.

i would go to her house and fill up her glass whenever it got low, even though the tap was across her house and i’d probably run into her parents. i would offer to pick her up from events that she didn’t want to go to, even if it was late and she was several towns away. i would offer her any layers i was wearing if she was cold.

and she can’t even hear my name without throwing a fit.

god, i want to hurt myself now. i’m just so fucking filthy and need to be punished to be clean enough to tolerate. i probably won’t do it, i don’t like doing it, but the compulsion is there. the buzz in my hands and weight in my whole body that i know will be gone the second i break the skin.

goodnight tumblr. i can’t fucking breathe. i hope anyone who sees this is doing better, because everyone is entitled to happiness.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Eviction Update!

After 2 months, the landlady finally went through the legal channels for a court-ordered eviction notice. We got a note that it's in the mail. Mom told her off that day she came to the property and illegally brought a stranger into the house while everyone but me was at Walmart picking up an order. She claimed the stranger was a lawyer, whom she did not inform of the 3 positive Covid cases inside said house.

Well, as stated, she has refused a lease since the beginning. All the places that can help us require a written lease as proof and she has been adamantly against one from the jump. Every one of these places, including the Salvation Army(which I cannot even stand) are capable and willing to foot the entire back rent plus the electric/water bill. That's several thousand dollars in total. This woman has been nagging for money left, right, and center, and is aware that if she just gets a lease, she'll get the money. But she refuses. Suspicious.

With a lease, we'd have an easier time getting somewhere to live too. Since we're apparently too poor to quality for state housing, we have very few options. Sally's is even willing to get us a motel room for a month. It'd be 4 people to one room but damn.

A while back I mentioned that we're going to end up living in our van but that there's something leaking from it and mom panicking. I'm not good with cars, I don't understand what it means, but mom said this just now. "He's gotta fill it back up with water every time we have to turn the car on. It leaks profusely and we've been babying it for months. Suddenly today, it started pouring water and will not retain anything put in it. The van is dying. We don't even have guaranteed transportation for when we're homeless."

I don't understand anything beyond the van dying and us being fucked even more.

We just survived Covid. We all had it. Step-dad got the vaccine. My sister and I were supposed to get it soon but with the van I'm not sure what's happening there. She was supposed to go to the doctor today and now can't. Mom can't even get a vaccine because she has a blood clotting disorder and a pulmonary embolism. She can't risk any of the available vaccines right now. But still! We had it for a few weeks and it was downright terrible. And even with proof in paperwork our bitch of a landlady harassed us over and over for money, for us to leave, and for us to 'prove another way that we're sick'. Still wouldn't follow the law to do it though.

Once again here are the links. Sharing this post would be appreciated.

Mom qualified for food stamps but since we're about to be homeless she's going to lose them. We've been hitting up the local food banks as much as we're allowed to each week but it's not enough.

Step-dad's leg is so bad he can barely waddle and all the firms he's contacted have agreed that he has a case and deserves compensation from his old job that won't pay him despite getting injured on the floor. However, none of them will take up the case because it won't win big money for them. He can't work because he can barely move. My 14 year old sister got a job at a local pizza shop. I have a Ko-Fi now! It's bad for us.

[gofundme]

[Ko-Fi] I am accepting commissions. I'm just trying to help out. I don't know how long I'm going to have internet access for so I'm going to try my best.

I wish I could go back to posting happy things and fandom content all the time and just be a person but life really sucks right now being a part of a 4-person family that makes less than 10K annually.