#...and they were out of the snack-cake I like (lil debbie birthday-cake bars)
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#vent#I always get worried before my birthday because something always ruins it and leaves me crying for 3+ hours#this year I'm p sure my parents are gonna say or do something fucked up#the soft start to birthday bad luck was yesterday when my parents wanted to know what I wanted and I said pizza and then they got a Hawaiia#like sure I ate a slice but like I'm allergic to it and it made my stomach churn for a few hours#today we went to walmart and they told me to pick something out and I wanted a skate tool but they no have and couldnt think of other thing#plus like theres a whole stress from being so behind right before finals#plus were on lockdown so its gonna be bad#my expectations were so low I wanted to make myself a flan but I'm too depressed to do that so the next step lower is to buy a snack-cake..#...and they were out of the snack-cake I like (lil debbie birthday-cake bars)#on my birthday I'll probably have to do a 2-3 hour call for a school group project due that night :(#the only thing I'm vaguely hopeful for is a possible bon fire with 3-6 friends or so#I'm still mad about the store not having debbie birthday cake bars tho#the worst is reminiscing on the younger birthdays I had and not remembering any good ones#for my quinceñera I had arcade & dinner with friends but I felt left out and I got yelled at later bc I stuck a wafer in my cake#when i turned 16 my brother completely forgot my birthday and that made me really sad#when i turned 18 i felt kinda ignored again and it was really stressful to organize and i was on edge bc of home stuff all day#when i turned 17 i was preoccupied with testing season#idk birthdays make me feel really anxious since I'm p much always bracing for it to go worse than last year#yeah i really regret my quince actually... i should have stayed in to wallow it would have gone better
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